#pls don’t make me do it anymore
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New bind is a rebind of one of my favorite childhood books (and series). I actually wanted to throw this in the fire bc the HTV took me FOUR fucking hours, but overall it turned out neat.
#bookbinding#rebinding#inkheart#cornelia funke#rebind series#jules binds and cries at the same time#help I fucking hate HTV#pls don’t make me do it anymore
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Mabel in s3 like ‘my old men best friends are distracted by trying to put on a broadway play in approximately two weeks. They clearly hate me and want to abandon me, I am all alone in this world my besties hate me I was never important to them and-’
Charles and Oliver: sweetheart we have been gone for Five Minutes
#It’s so funny to watch s3 sometimes cause like#Mabel they are putting on a whole ass broadway production do you know how hard that is#They are not abandoning you they’re just dealing with trauma AND trying to put on a musical#But poor Mabel is like :( my best friends don’t wanna hang out with me anymore :( I must make this podcast and solve murders on my own :(#She doesn’t even have fun with the mystery solving anymore without them#Mabel i love you but pls RELAX#Mabel mora#murder trio#only murders in the building#omitb#omitb s3#charles haden savage#oliver putnam
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men love to try and tee me up for their next relationship while they’re still dating their current gf and i am never interested. NEVER.
#i don’t even fuck w men like that#mind you i’ve told this man that i am NOT INTERESTED in dating SEVERAL TIMES when he’s asked ab my romantic life#but he’s saying some suspicious ass stuff#like today he was like ‘yeah and it’s hard bc i’m starting have feelings for….this isn’t about anyone in particular….others outside#the relationship. and it’s making me feel guilty’#and i’m like hm. um. okay.#and he’s being weirdly cryptic with me in the way men get when they think they’re being sly ab their feelings for you#😭😭#he’s texting me a bunch lately too like ‘you just really inspire me to be the best version of myself i can be’#and ‘i had a really bad week and i just wanted to thank you for being so kind and funny and awesome’#mind you i didn’t do anything out of ordinary for him#mind you he’s my coworker!!!#i see him every day!!#i’m not stupid idk 😭 you complain ab your gf to me and the shower me in praise like pls stop im uncomfortable 😭😭#i’ve already told him i don’t really want this dynamic with a coworker and he kinda just continues and idk what to do anymore!#like we work closely on everything!#he sits directly beside me in the office!#BLAH#cielo rambles!
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every day i wake up and megumi isn’t back yet and i cry
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME MY SON BACK#this break has been going on for so damn long i CANNOT do this anymore#gege pls come back#i know i said some sht about you (i’m not taking it back.) but PLEASE#PLEASUHHHHHHA#UGH anyway#i know the megumi comeback is gonna be generational but FAWKKKKK#what if he doesn’t make it. what if they don’t pull him out. what if—#NOpe nope nope don’t think about it#this is jjk-induced psychosis happening in real time i cannot believe it#whatever is the reverse of lobotomy kaisen this is it#js awful#n e ways#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#MY BOY MY BOY THATS MY BOY#lobotomy kaisen
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bruh, not discourse popping up after i get my gregory-focused security breach ita bag finally started … um anyways i’ll post it when my pins come in
#also yeah it’s that cheap overpriced blue star ita bag what of it#that person was mean as fuck for no reason like sorry sc*tt doesn’t market anything except the animatronics.#and even that’s few n far between for non toy shit#reminds me why i stay here and don’t spend much time on tt anymore#also??? it’s a fucking BAG. a cringy assed bag that everyone ever irl thinks is either hellaciously cringe or super cool#also!! hi gregory artists i want to pay you to make buttons of your greg (and/or tony pls) art!! if anyone’s willing to do that let me know#like just for my own personal bag!#fe rambles
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begging someone to hold a gun to my head so my brain will finally make me do my dishes, laundry, vacuuming, job applications, emails, messages,, just to get anything done at all without constantly wanting to die
#executive dysfunction is a fucking hellscape and I want out I want out I wantoutoutout#fuck my liiifee#seriously the threat of imminent immediate danger is the only way I can do fucking anything#executive dysfunction#the kind that makes me wanna BANG MY HEAD INTO THE NEAREST HARD SURFACE UNTIL I CANT SEE ANYMORE#death sounds preferable !!!!!!!!!#all those bullshit articles written by nt ppl like ‘MAKE A LIST!!1!1 BREAK DOWN UR TASKS!!!1!’#THANKS BRENDA BUT ID RATHER PLUCK MY EYELASHES OUT ONE BY ONE#I literally gave my coworker $100 in cash the other day and said#’if I don’t have that report for u by tomorrow you get to KEEP THE $100.’#because I COULD NOT DO IT OTHERWISE ID BEEN RIPPING MY HAIR OUT FOR WEEKS OVER THAT ONE THING#if u have exec dysfunction and have any tips for me other than putting myself in danger like - pls help ohmygod#legit a cry for help I don’t know what anyone would do but like#god damn a button that lets someone shock me remotely if I don’t do the shit i’m#supposed to do#I ACTUALLY NEED THAT IT WOULD SAVE MY LIFE HHAA#tw mental health#tw suicidality#adhd#tw implied suicidal tendencies#vent#personal
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Bleh
#I gotta rant n I don’t really have a place but here lol#but man is my past relationship weighing heavy on me today#(caveat of pls don’t be weird and make this his problem)#but I still just feel so lost over it#like obviously breaking up with no ill will is the ideal situation#but being forced to confront that someone you spent so much of your life growing with#can just decide they don’t like you like that anymore#like there was distance for a while before the breakup#that I don’t hold against him at all#but reflecting on the first several years of our relationship compared to the last 6months or so#feels like night and day#like you can go from someone being obsessed with you and you obsessed with them#enjoying all the parts of growing into adults together#to just feeling so unwanted bc the reality is they stopped wanting you a while ago#like going from telling friends my only holdup on polyamory was that I didn’t know if I could love another person as much as them#to having to bring to their attention that it wasn’t okay that I came to their family’s house n all he said was hi to me for the first hour#and then confronting that you didn’t do anything wrong#that shit just happens sometimes and neither of you knew how to navigate it#and fuck it makes me so scared for future relationships#because how can you not be scared when you can lose such intense love as the result of a few years passing#I almost wish it had been something I did :/#bc at least then I knew what to work on and mitigate going forward#but I can’t stop people just..#not liking me anymore
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tbh i think what made tgwdlm so much more successful for me is how like. simple but effective the concept was and how well it combined content with form. i don’t think that either of the other hatchetfield musicals have really done that and it’s made them feel pretty shallow to me
#again i can respect the risks they’re taking in terms of scale#but the actual shows haven’t been working for me#black friday was entirely forgettable and npmd like. makes me a little embarrassed to like starkid#the horror at the end of tgwdlm felt genuine Because of the medium. i don’t really know how you’d replicate that#they also keep getting longer and i don’t even Know what they’re doing with that time#i am excited to see what they do next! i just hope they change the formula they’ve started using#starkid crit#<- pls god i am not trying to be a dick.#i don’t think ppl in fandom know to block crit tags anymore tho#ted talks
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#can i just rant for a second pls#about life#I hate to be the kind of person to do this I don’t want ppl to worry or just be nice to me I’m not doing this to get anything in return on#I’m just doing this bc I need to get it out somehow and feel like its at least been said#bc I have no one I can say it to#I just really don’t know how to hold myself together at the moment#I don’t know how to have the strength to push to do all these things I need to do and want to do while still holding together every other#single fucking person in my life and being the person that gets all their stress loaded onto while not knowing how to fix any of it#I wanna be that person I wanna be someone you can go to but when it’s everyone all at once and it’s all these people around me that can’t#seem to communicate and make bad situations worse and I get they don’t have the strength to keep themselves together and face things with at#least a bit of a better mindset but god I can’t do that for everyone#it feels like everyone is falling apart and I’m the person in everyone’s life that’s trying to hold them together#and I really care about these people but I can’t seem to find the space for it all#not when on top of everyone having things that are shifting their life for me then to have my own life shifting too#all I wanted was peace just some rest before it all started happening I just wanted the summer to be easy and it’s not#I wanted this summer to be normal to be that last summer of family and it feels like I can’t have that anymore and I hate it#I hate that I feel alone#and I hate feeling like I can’t fall apart or put myself first bc I’m always gonna need to and want to be there for everyone else#I hate that I can’t cope#I hate that I can’t seem to live#that I can never muster up the energy or strength to do the things I want bc it feels like every force in my life is just pushing me back#down and I hate saying this bc it’s so selfish and mean but I hate being here sometimes#I’m so afraid and nervous to leave but at the same time I think about being out of here and only having to hold myself up for once#and to not be surrounded by this atmosphere that feels impossible to be in#I just need things to stop but they won’t and I literally feel like I’m out in the middle of the ocean with absolutely no idea of what to do#to save myself and I feel like I need to actually do something about it instead of just moving on and forgetting about it bc what if I just#drown what the fuck then#and yet I feel the overwhelming need to say at the end don’t worry it ain’t that deep tho I’m sure I’ll be fine just gonna keep going#lol just gotta get back on being that person with their shit together right fake it till you make it and all that#anyway bye sorry for just dropping this idk when I’ll be back on tumblr thank you to everyone that sent nice messages before they meant alot
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im literally going dark. if there’s a video of coffees for closers tag me in it. otherwise i need to be left alone for like 24 hours to grieve.
#this is not a joke#(it’s kinda a joke pls grieve with me i need to be comforted rn)#can i say something insane#i don’t want to go to my shows anymore#like obviously that’s not really true but#the whole time im going to be thinking about how i will never hear coffees live#i don’t even give a shit about mikey way#there is nothing that fob can do to make this up to me#i am being dramatic and i don’t care im so so so upset
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me writing thousand-word drabbles to randomly send to my moots: :))
me when i remember all the unfinished wips i’ve got: :/
me when i remember that i haven’t written and posted an actual fic in ages: :(
me when said moots respond to the drabbles with the exact level of excitement/hype that i was hoping for: :)))))
me when i do actually post something and it gets minimal to no active engagement (reviews, unique tags, reaction pics, hype, etc.): :(
me when i remember that creating long, drawn out AUs with my moots and sending drabbles back and forth to each other is more fun and emotionally fulfilling because it means someone will actually actively engage with my writing by hyping me up and/or sending me their own thoughts and opinions and ideas instead of just leaving a like and (occasionally) a tagless/commentless reblog before disappearing back into the void: :/
#‘all engagement is good engagement’ sure…#but not all forms of engagement make me feel like a giddy teenage girl who’s crush just talked to her for the first time ever!!!#i appreciate all likes and reblogs and comments… i do…#but it’s hard to have the motivation to write actual fics when i get hardly any active engagement anymore#like getting 26 notes on a post… where 90% of them are likes 8% are reblogs without tags/comments and only 2% are reblogs with tags/comments#… man that shit is discouraging#don’t even get me started on the ‘we need more of this!’ ‘you should make this a full fic!’ comments#like how about we just enjoy the content i’ve posted and maybe like actively engage with it before we start asking for more??? pls???#be honest… am i being too picky/too entitled??? or are my feelings valid??
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Hiding some to lay about some without my mask on. Before I must return to my family and wear a mask. Also fuck you WHO for that fucking dogshit “it’s not an emergency anymore it’s a crisis and you shouldn’t change any of your behavior” announcement bc now everyone’s like COVID’s over they said it’s not an emergency why are you wearing a mask.
#like they’ve left me be for the most part after I explained thst like that announcement doesn’t mean all it says it does but now my parents#aren’t wearing masks anymore when they go out#they used to#they wore surgical ones only but that was still soemthing now they think I’m just overly cautious and idk how to convince them my mom had#Alzheimer’s I don’t want her to get Covid again. like that would be so bad for her!!#also my dad is the care giver for my mother and my grandmother both who have a form of dementia he. like luckily he had Covid and mostly#fine but I’m so scared#and bc stupid Joe Biden Covid is over they. think it’s over which makes since the government told them it is but pls pls!! I don’t want them#to get sick they are already have so many health issues#all I can do is do my part and bring masks tell them what I can and wear my mask and#my dad tries to not go out much#but they still go out sometimes bc staying inside all the time was making things worse for my mom but at least at least they try to be#outdoors I jsut ahhh
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love how my mom only does something for me unprompted just bc she wants something
#i knew her asking if i wanted egg noodles at 10pm was weird#and then she literally waited til i got back to my room to TEXTTTTTT me and ask for $40#like yeah i fucking GUES BITCH but if you don’t pay me back im going to scream at you until we both are crying and ur not gonna like it#im tired of her shit dude stop lying about what you need $40 for bc i know it’s not anything you ever say it is miss ma’am#lying ass bitch take my 40 and smoke it up i don’t care anymoreeeeeeeeeee#goddddd i just. am so done with her shit she’s selfish and fucking ridiculous i want to beat her fucking ass lmaooo i’m sick of her shit#tired of ittttt tired of her making my mental health be shit bc she can’t act right. not my fuckin issue anymore bitch do better#anyways i’m going to smoke weed and not be a stupid dumb bitch like my mom hehe#also i am making this post and bc i haven’t sent it to her writhin fucking five minutes she’s already texting me like a fucking freak like#‘are u sending it’ ‘or do u have cash’ ‘where are u sending it’ ‘i can get it off ur card’ BITCH CALM DOWN FUCKING CHEIST I HATE YOUUUUUUU#idk if or what i need to tag this as so if anyone needs me to tag this as anything specific pls let me know
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Nah don’t get me fucking started on how much I hate the way jail and fines and the law works today
Im an uneducated dumbass who overly idealistic I will probably make a fool of myself but goddamnit I hate HATE HATE prisons and the way they work and the fact that a teen who stole some fucking candy and a murderer can be kept in the same place under some circumstances is so fucking stupid!
I will go at leangth about my opinions because HOLY SHIT the prison system or whatever the fuck I’m talking about makes no sense to me and I refuse to understand it because it’s biased and stupid and doesn’t do the one thing it’s trying to do
It drives me insane how many people dont realise how often they break the law and that if the full force of it was ever applied life would basically be unliveable. Like between traffic violations, petty workplace theft, account sharing and piracy alongside how common it is to have been in posession of some illegal drug at some point in your life. People still manage to get away with thinking "criminals" are people who commit crimes not just populations that are surveilled enough to be routinely prosecuted
#screams into the void cutely#adds my unwanted thoughts into a serious post about serious topics#nah if I’m getting this right prison is to reform folks right?#so why tf does a life sentence exist if we’re supposed go be making people better#why di people get jailed for super specific situations that they would never do again#why do we take away the rights of our reformed citizens#i get that jail is punishment#but there are problems with the government time out box#it makes no sense and doesn’t do what it’s supposed to#do we not believe in reform anymore???#can people not get better???#some people are unredeemable some people cannot get better#but i don’t understand why that has fo apply to everyone#okay im going to stop now#pls ignore me if what im saying is blatantly incorrect#im the average Twitter user in the sense that I just spew shit out of my ass until something of sense comes out#(:
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love being between a rock and a hard place…
#my sister’s absolutism and black and white perspective - which while understandable is kind of frustrating bc things aren’t black or white#vs my mum who is in the wrong but also i do live with her and do not have any opportunity to move out - which means i can’t really say my#full opinion and even then i have to be really careful with the way i formulate things (moreso now bc of how tired she is and the mental#toll of what she’s going thru rn)#and it’s just like. my sister makes me feel worse bc her reaction is so strong and it’s just like pls chill<3#and i know i make excuses for mum but it’s kinda like i wouldn’t defend her that much if there was some room for nuances!!#i just hate it i don’t want to lie to my sister but also she can’t not bring it up with mum when i tell her stuff and when mum wants my#full support and i just can’t but then i need to be supportive enough or she’ll get pissed with me and it’s just like i don’t have another#place to go!!! there is no viable way for me to afford to move out!!! and i don’t want to be involved in their thing but i am because i#live here and i can’t opt out!!!#tbh tho it was like this when i lived on my own but then the slight fear that i’ll get threatened with being kicked out wasn’t there so#and i don’t even know if that’s a threat she’ll make anymore like it happened once when i was 19 but that was also a different time#it’s just soso tiring<3
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keep trying to gaslight myself into liking eggs….i buy eggs and i’m like ok i will eat the eggs :) and then i eat them and i’m like i wish i was dead rn. they don’t make me sick i just don’t like them even tho i don’t mind how they taste that much. like they r edible to me but at what cost?
#michelle speaks#it’s like they don’t make me sick as i said i just don’t feel right after eating them…..#& the way i prepared them was good but def too much butter that also killed me bc i am sensitive to greasy stuff 😔#but the bread was not toasting right so i was like ok more butter i guess which is my bad 😭 tasted good tho but coast everything#i made an egg in a hole & the problem is that whenever i think that head like a hole the nine inch nails song plays in my head 😭#but anyway my point being too much butter + eggs i can’t describe….i am not sick but not well either 😭#it’s just so weird bc there r preparations where i do like egg but it always makes me feel unwell after#but again not like sick/nauseous just generally unwell. can’t explain it…….#have the same experience when i eat hot dogs so i don’t eat them anymore. but egg i am like pls i want to like it 😭#but i have never liked eggs very much i am not a breakfast food person at all. except for u pancakes my beloved……
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