#seem to communicate and make bad situations worse and I get they don’t have the strength to keep themselves together and face things with at

[jemmo]

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[pumpkinbxtch]

hi!!! I was wondering if you could do hcs for what arguing would be like with the HOO boys

Don't talk me like that! | headcanons

— arguing with the hoO boys

warnings: angst, language, boys being...boys

who's here: jason grace, leo valdez, frank zhang ands percy jackson.

a/n: ohh ohh ohhh, yes. I can. I love drama.

— jason grace:

To get into a real fight with him, you must have come a long way because he's so peaceful and always tries to negotiate calmly, making sure both of you communicate effectively. But at the end of the day, you're like any other couple and sometimes end up having real fights.

The big issue is Jason's nature. He goes silent when he's really upset, his emotions hard to show.

When he’s that mad, you can see it on his face. It’s scary, let’s not lie.

When the ice breaks, he tries to take charge to explain what's wrong, which often makes things worse.

He keeps his distance when you argue, tense and rigid. He’s like a handsome, angry log.

Sometimes he says things reluctantly, like "don't act childish," which is so him.

Yes, he raises his voice and gets frustrated, "no, I said NO, THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS, gods…"

If you're wondering if his powers show, the answer is NEVER, or at least not against you. His mouth might taste like metal or his fingers might spark, but that's just him being really stressed.

His eyes get cloudy and grey.

He takes off his glasses and rubs his temples while muttering.

When things finally start to work out, he breathes better and starts talking more because he knows nothing will work if he doesn’t.

He’s practical, coming up with solutions to problems.

When the fight's over, he hugs you and kisses your forehead, relieved to be out of that situation.

Can he stay mad for days? Depends on the problem, but he’d prefer it doesn't last more than a day.

— leo valdez;

Leo and you usually argue over small things because you have that kind of relationship where you bicker and tease for fun, but when things get serious, the arguments can get heated (get it? heated? laugh, please).

That’s when things get tough. He may seem easy-going, but Leo has a strong temper and is very stubborn when he's mad. Whatever made you really fight doesn't matter because he’ll be stuck on his point.

"No, that's not how it happened." You could be contradicting each other all day until you both turn away and stop talking.

"Well, screw you!" you say, and he growls back, "Yeah, you too," swearing in Spanish. "vale ma-" "me lleva la ch-"

Yes, he switches languages mid-sentence.

"I already told you no! CUANTAS VECES TENGO QUE DECIRLO, carajo!-"

If you know Spanish, you can reply; if not...

"I don’t understand you, idiot. Say it in English or fuck yourself ." (just in case because you’re not sure what he said)

Swearing is common if he's really mad, but it's more his way of dealing with it than being mad at you.

That or sharp sarcasm.

Yes, he might cry if the argument is really bad.

His rigid feelings and insecurity can come up.

Leo is attached, so he’s constantly thinking of ways to fix it because he can’t stand being away from you for too long.

He keeps his distance, terrified of hurting you with his powers, which makes him nervous. "No, DON’T COME NEAR ME." It's for your safety, but it hurts him to see the look in your eyes when he says it.

Can he stay mad for days? Absolutely, but he misses you a lot, though his pride might keep him from showing it.

Don’t worry, he’ll eventually sit down to talk it out, and you’ll both calm down and fix things.

Then he'll give you a big hug and kiss your cheeks.

— frank zhang:

it’s hard to imagine: WHAT DID YOU DO TO FIGHT?

Yes, Frank is Mars’s son, but he’d never choose the battlefield for his lover. He’s very careful and always considerate, but yeah he can be severe when things get bad, and when isn't enough just have a serious talk.

You end up fighting in not-so-quiet whispers, with your faces and gestures being the most expressive.

"Of course not, I already told you, hey!" He raises his hands, and his body tenses up threateningly.

Frank tries to understand your point and make himself heard, always mindful of both your feelings. He knows how to set boundaries.

Sometimes, he just can’t take it anymore and signals a pause. "You know what? This is getting too much, and neither of us is in the best shape. Let’s talk tomorrow or later, please."

Does he raise his voice? Hardly, only when he really needs to make a point.

His eyes are bright, tinged with sadness and anger. The deadliest is his calm face or the way he slightly curls his lip, almost growling.

His eyebrows always seem to be touching, even if he doesn’t want them to.

He keeps a cool head to solve things.

Can he stay mad for days? Yes, while clearing his mind and thinking. He’ll come up to you, and you’ll talk it out, making things work in the end.

He’ll take your hand. You might feel guilty for pushing a guy like Frank to his limit, but he doesn’t mind having relationship problems with you:

"I hope we fight many more times, but about totally different things because it means we’ve really solved the previous issues."

— percy jackson:

wtf did you both do to get into a fight?

Percy won't waste a second, trying to resolve it immediately by asking and reflecting on his own actions. "What did I do wrong?" if it was his fault. "Can you listen to me for a second?" if it was you.

He hates being mad at you, just can’t stand it. But if the fight starts, he wants to start or finish it (or both).

Yes, he might cry.

Yes, he might raise his voice. "No, I didn't do anything. LISTEN TO ME."

Then he apologizes for it because he lost it.

He tries to hold your hands and says, "Babe, babe…"

He makes you both breathe and talk calmly.

He argues, of course, but differently. He’ll stop the conversation. "You know what? I'll think about it." He leaves or makes you leave.

Consequently, he might stay mad for days, or both of you might be mad at each other, but he’s thinking of what to say rather than just calming down. (Nothing wrong with that, everyone handles feelings differently and that's valid.)

Yes, he asks his mom.

Yes, he asks Paul.

You both end up fixing things, and he hugs you tight, giving you kisses all over your face while pouting.

"I missed you, babe."

[gothwineaunts]

Wow, hello!

So, I was actually feeling pretty motivated to write this post yesterday. But things have gotten exponentially worse, and I admit the pressure is getting to me. There seem to be a ton of expectations surrounding what I should be saying here, in order to… I guess, absolve myself? As if there’s a checklist people want me to go through to perform the “perfect” creator apology. But, I don’t see the point. I care a lot about this community and I think you deserve something a lot more sincere than some hollow chat-gpt apology. I understand that that’s foolish, on my part. Things are done that way so often because they work. But what you’ll find throughout this post, is that I’m kind of an idiot about some things. I’m stubborn and hard-headed and a little bit pretentious. And so, what I’m planning to do here is to simply tell you the truth about what happened. No cherry picking. All my mistakes, but also the context that goes with them. And at the end, my formal apology. This is a long and winding tale with a lot of characters. I’m going to be sharing some usernames as we go, in the interest of clarity and transparency. You’ll understand why with the context. But please do not seek these people out. Don’t pick fights with them. It will only make everything worse, for all involved.

Cool? Cool. But first I need to address the elephant in the room. This will probably seem like irrelevant drama at first, but this is the nuance and background that I wasn’t adequately able to articulate the night before last. In more ways than one, this is a story told in twos. The first set of twos is you, the readers. Who you are, and what you’re hoping to find out in this post.

1.      The overwhelming majority of you, are earnestly wanting to understand what has happened in the Nevermore Discord. You are concerned that I am not who you hoped I was. You are disappointed, and I understand why. To you, I am so sorry. I want to say that things are not as bad as they seem, but that is not for me to decide. You will need to draw your own conclusions from the words I write. And I understand, whatever you choose to do next.

2.      And there is a small, but incredibly vocal minority of people who are absolutely living for this. They are spreading complete fabrications with no screenshots to speak of. Horrible, horrible accusations. People who are more excited about watching a dumpsterfire than they are about the series that brought them here in the first place. I’m not going to attempt to cater to those people in this post. Because nothing will ever be good enough. Everything that can be taken in bad faith will be taken in bad faith. It would be pointless. But you’ll see them in the comments and reblogs. This is a known group to not only myself, but many others. I will share some of their names in a later section so you know who to watch for. They will make a lot of noise around this post because they’ve been trying to make something like this happen for actual years. And now that I had a genuinely concerning response that good people reasonably want me to explain, they’re lunging at the chance to throw absolutely anything at the wall. It’s parasocial levels of hatred. This is some deep and horrible lore.

The next set of twos is how two things can be true at the same time. And that is exactly what is going on here, in this situation. Let me be really clear, because I don’t want either truth to be lost in my explanation as they are intrinsically linked to one another.

1.      I did a downright terrible job explaining myself in the Discord when people started asking about crimson. I can give you all kinds of contributing factors for this, and I might later. But none of them really matter. It was incredibly careless of me to use “egging them on” and “cried wolf”  to describe what I understood. At the time I was really laser-focused on expressing what happened as simply and quickly as possible because the channel replies were paused and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to be finished with my message. But after stepping back, I immediately understood how badly I messed up, because of course these idioms are routinely weaponized against survivors of SA and CSA. That is not how I intended to use them. It was an unfortunate case of one thing looking and sounding like another thing. Incredibly ham-fisted and irresponsible on my part. To the survivors who read my words and felt that it echoed their past experiences, I’m heartbroken that I did that to you. That lapse of judgement was a betrayal to both you and me. I don’t know where my head went, and I’m just blown away by my own lack of awareness in that message. So for that I am and will continue to be sorry.

2.      The second thing that can be true is that, while you are all absolutely owed an explanation and an apology, there are also some people amongst you who are using this fuck-up on my part as a springboard to take me down.  These people have been trying to get a call out post to pop off about me for at least a year, and they have been very quick to jump into the reblogs and comments about this very serious topic with complete lies and slander. Just, anything that might stick to the wall. We’ll address this later on as well. But please understand that me discussing the harassment I’ve faced from these groups is not at the expense of me also owning up to my faults and taking the proper accountability.

And the last set of twos is one I’ve alluded to in the first sets, concerning a pair of toxic side-servers that ran adjacent to the main Nevermore Discord. Completely unofficial cliques. And invisible to myself and Flynn and our mod team. We were eventually made aware that both of them were breaking laws and Discord ToS in ways that leaked into our server and affected our members negatively. As such, both groups were mass-banned. And the cliques are the ones running a majority of the discourse you’ve been seeing here, because while they are formally banned from the discord, we have absolutely no say in their participation on Tumblr. Now, keep in mind. Both of these groups were uncovered after crimson was banned the first time. That’s important later.

Clique #1

My understanding of the first group is that it started as a gaming server for people who met one another through the Nevermore Discord. I don’t know when or why it started being used to talk shit about other readers, but I do know that it got really vicious. And it was sort of an open secret for long before I knew anything about it. I found out after that there were a lot of people passively in this server, just observing. It was that much of a spectacle.

Now, this clique had been pretty rude. Like they’d try to start fights with me in the discord fairly often, both in the Patreon and free spaces. But it wasn’t grounds for dismissal until we found out about the baiting and the alts.  These people had a lot of grievances, but one really united them: they were extremely upset about anyone who would ship Prospero.

Many of you know, that Prospero is an aromantic character, canonically. And you may notice that canonically, he has no apparent love interest. But this group wanted to make sure other readers were not thinking about Prospero in relationships, or creating ship content of him for any reason on the grounds that it would be considered a “proship.” I told them (and I stand on this) that it’s not up to them to police the thoughts of other readers, and that aromantic people have widely varying lifestyles and experiences and do not need to be infantilized that way.

This turned out to be a bad move on my part, because it brought with it an onslaught of alt accounts coming in and "innocently" kicking up what I now refer to as the “prosp-aro” debate every time they had the chance. But because of this and what a common occurrence it was, we started being able to pick out the alts. And we realized that this group of people had been using the same alt accounts with different names to antagonize certain readers they’d decided they hated, and it had gone on for a long time.

I did a lot of investigative work in dms trying to figure out who all was responsible for the harassment, and settled on a list that was vetted by three different people who knew about the clique. And all three of these people insisted that, while Laci was in the group and in a lot of the screencaps saying pretty dubious things, that she was good people. So I believe them, and let Laci stay. This group was banned on April 3, 2024, and contained the following users:

-          lilnatx (nat)

-          suitino (sushi)

-          jj_the_jet_plane (layden)

-          rivsticks (jasper)

-          atheimee (athena)

-          jinxs.com (lanx/jinx)

-          smartestginger (nico)

-          thereallandofbugs (bugs)

-          rosienemui (rosie)

These were the names they were known by on the Discord. I don’t have the Tumblr accounts tied to these identities. But some might be the same. I know a lot of them are here.  It should be noted that jinx was later unbanned due to pressure from Laci that they had been banned in error, after the fact. We allowed them back in after a few days as a favor to Laci since the situation seemed like it was very stressful for her. This would prove to be yet another a mistake since, as you have probably seen in the screenshots from the night before last, jinx rapidly escalated things to another level while I was trying to figure out how to handle crimson’s unbanning and subsequent rebanning an hour later.

Clique #2

Phew. Still with me? Great. The second group we needed to ban was one that actually started long before the first one, but was a lot smaller and comparatively more subtle. This group, to my knowledge, cropped up around the time that ep. 39 of Nevermore was released. (11/10/22) We knew about this group but not who all was involved in it or in what capacity for a very long time. They would consistently post things on Tumblr trying to start a scandal. I recall posts alleging that we were racists, or SA apologists, or that we were sending death threats to a random confessions account.

To be clear, these allegations are completely false. This clique will say anything. Like a recent post one of them put up during this discourse said that hiwi (our mod) is both a r*pe apologist and a childhood friend of mine and that’s the only reason she hasn’t been banned. Hiwi is absolutely nothing of the sort, and I have never met her in person. In fact, she lives on the other side of the continent.

Now, this clique is a little different than the first. The first, to my knowledge, was a group of friends that got toxic and felt morally superior about their opinions and it all kind of got away from them. The vibe was a little catty, I guess. Gossipy. But this clique has more of a stalker vibe. It’s dark.

They’ve had it out specifically for me for as long as I can remember. And some of them (at least one, at all times) would subscribe to our patreon, both to sow dissent in our stream chats and also to leak literally all the content back to the others, including me talking about random shit like what I ate for lunch. Just so they could like. Laugh about it, I guess. I’ll never understand why. [Editing note: because in the final moments of proofreading this post I see one of these people has made some master post about what a terrible person I am? A lot of those screenshots are from Patreon channels and the guy STILL has them laying around. I’m telling you, they stole everything that wasn’t nailed down.] 

The biggest grievance this clique had is that any ship with Montresor is an “SA fetish ship” because to them he is a r*pist because of how he made Ada bark (?) and since Montrada is canon, that means we are supporters of SA, and that Morella and Ada should be together instead. Listen, I’ll level with you, this one baffles me. I don’t even know how to begin to untangle it. But if you see a lot of vitriol about us being SA apologists from these users, it’s because Montresor exists. That’s pretty much it.

You can ask them for screencaps ‘til you’re blue in the face, but unless they build fake ones from the ground up, they’re never going to be able to back up their wild claims. Simply put, they’re provocateurs, and they use the scariest words they can to whip people up into a panic.

We became aware that they were leaking patreon content when one of them was caught publicly referring to things that were being said behind a paywall when we knew they weren’t a patron. It unraveled from there.  People who knew about their antics shared screenshots and information with us, and we finally realized the scope of the clique’s hatred and banned whoever was even left in the Nevermore Discord. But they continue to be active in the community on tumblr. You’ll have seen them around. They were banned on 5/11/2024 and the names involved are as follows (again, a mishmash of discord names, nicknames, and tumblr accounts):

- percy (gremlinguy145 on tumblr)

- queenmorningrose (annabel-lee-nevermore on tumblr)

- spoopycactus630 (spoopy-nevermore-dump on tumblr)

- grif/horrorshow (conscience-grim on tumblr)

- unreqiknizd

- duke aralt (westofthestyx)

- eden (sapphic-mad-scientist on tumblr)

- priemium

Again I’d like to reiterate. The point in sharing these names is not to incite any sort of response against these people. But they are folding themselves into the fray and doing what they can to whip everyone else up into a mob, and all as we’re talking about a discord server that they have been banned from for months now. The above context is also relevant for the next section, which is why you’re all here in the first place.

What the hell happened with Crimson?

I hope it’s not confusing, but now we’re going back to 3/14/2024, before anything I just outlined above had come to light. The cliques were quietly doing their harassment and baiting and raiding and whatever-the-hell behind the scenes, but Flynn and I and the mods were blissfully unaware of how bad it was getting. We get a dm from Laci. The same Laci who was part of Clique #1 and was rescued from being banned with the others by her friends outside the group. Jinx’s friend, who managed to get them unbanned as well. You have probably seen these screencaps already, but I will show them to you again, just in case.

Sufficed to say, we were immediately alarmed by the information Laci shared in her DM with us. Now, I want to be very clear about this because it’s been lost in the game of telephone. What Laci outlines in her dm to me, were the events that occurred between six users (including crimson) in a group chat with minors. Everyone in the evidence was censored (pfp and username), as was the image that crimson showed them. When I asked, Laci agreed to give me one name of one of the minors in the dm. I’ll call them Alice, but that is not their real name. I asked if I could talk to Alice about this, I was told by Laci, no. Alice doesn’t want to talk. I was like, ok I understand, that’s fine. 

I hope it makes sense when I say that it is not feasible for us to moderate the things that happen in peoples’ dms. As you’ve seen above, the mod team doesn’t usually get involved with drama unless whatever is happening is directly affecting the experience people are having in the Nevermore Discord because that is all we can see and the only place we have any real authority.  But this was obviously a special case. We banned crimson very quickly without asking any follow-up questions, because of course we did!? I’ve seen people say I’m harboring or defending crimson or that we’re buddies but we barely spoke, ever. They were a stranger to me then, and they still are now.

But something about the entire situation wasn’t adding up to me. And I want to be clear that none of this is in any way meant to discredit csa survivors, I’m really just trying to put you in my headspace and walk you through my thought process. But I found that the evidence was just, sort of strange. Laci started her dm explaining that she found this information out because she and a group of people were investigating crimson for ‘art tracing’ which felt, to me, like a bizarre non-sequitur and totally irrelevant next to the evidence of them showing nsfw content to minors. Petty, kind of. Like I wanted to ask – why were you doing that in the first place? People trace Flynn’s art all the time. As long as they’re not selling it, it’s not a big deal.

Most of the crops are from a PC but the windows are oddly small, and only contain a couple messages at a time. Some have American formatted time and some have European formatted time. So different users, I assume? The names were blotted out, which I would understand for a public call-out but not for a private report to the mod team. Laci was not in this gc at any point in time, despite being the one to report. 

One of the users was apparently 12, to which I ask – what is a 12-year-old doing on discord at all? If we knew who they were, we would have reported the account. Discord is not a safe place for a child that age, let alone a small group chat. Along with 18-year-old Crimson, there was also a 22- and 17-year-old in the chat, which left us wondering – why hadn’t anything been done?

I had no evidence that anyone ever told crimson they were minors, and I feel if it existed, it would have been in the screencap dump (I find that sometimes a noticeable lack of key evidence is evidence in itself). No one seems to have tried to kick crimson from the group chat or report their account for inappropriate behavior. Then there’s the fact that this is a group chat. Anyone in it can leave at any time. 

Then I came across the messages that started this whole gc, and it only got stranger when I realized Alice started it, called it “Women Lovers” and created it “so we can talk about Nevermore women without having to filter ourselves” after they all reacted to a sultry but sfw drawing of Lenore that crimson had made and posted in our hideout channel. And all that made me wonder why Alice didn’t just kick crimson, if she had admin power?  Do you see what I mean? It’s just all a bit head tilty. I noticed it at the time. But I said nothing. Because it didn’t matter. Crimson, no matter what happened, exposed minors to nsfw content. And that’s on them. And I’ve never in my life defended it. We banned them.

Crimson was beside herself. She came off humiliated and apologetic, and insisted she had no idea and begged to come back to a community she said she loved. But we told her no, there’s no coming back from doing what she did.

Time passes and we uncover Clique #1. And while we figured out who the main players were, I dmed with Laci. And it was Laci herself, who tells me that it was Alice who made most of Clique #1’s alt accounts, and that it was Alice who used those alt accounts to harass people and try to get them to start fights or say something that might get them in trouble. 

And I’ll be honest with you, the mod team still didn’t think much of it, outside of – we need to figure out which accounts were the alts. So we did. We had several confirmed to us.  And those accounts were zeroing in on certain users that the clique didn’t like. At the time we noticed two notable targets in addition to the mod team. I won’t name them, it’s their business if they want to weigh in about all that. But in screencaps, they’ll be labeled Target #1 and Target #2.

More time passes and Clique #2 comes to light. As you can imagine, by now we’re feeling disillusioned, and very tired of trying to moderate shit we cannot see for ourselves. And that’s when crimson comes back to very hesitantly ask if they might be able to appeal their ban. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to us that Laci (on behalf of Alice) was the only one who ever reported anything to us about Crimson. 

And I want to just say that again. Because it’s gotten lost too. Laci was the only person who ever reported Crimson. There was not one single other person who ever sent a modmail or a dm or even a ping to anybody on the mod team. I have since (only yesterday) seen some screencaps that are rather skin crawly, but even those happened in yet another side server. Thinking on this, the mods went back through the known alt accounts Alice had used. And they found that Alice harassed crimson both on her main account and on the same alt accounts that she used to harass the other targets.

By now, Alice is banned for completely unrelated reasons. Not because of what happened with Crimson. I’ve seen that one flying around and I’m sorry it’s just not true. It’s because she was relentlessly harassing and cyberbullying people in the discord we moderate. Laci is still there, but had lost my trust, for being involved with both the drama I’ve mentioned here and more that I don’t care to dip into. It’s ultimately irrelevant. But what am I going to say to Laci? “Hey, did you and Alice, by any chance, coordinate some kind of bizarre trap together to get crimson banned from the discord because you suspected them of tracing their art?” And once again. Because I want to keep this top of mind. Even if that were the case, it doesn’t make what Crimson did alright, and it never will. Sharing nsfw content in front of minors is a disgusting thing to do. And one that we frankly are really irritating about in the moderation of the discord. I’ve heard people say that we over-moderate when it comes to art. 

But all this stuff about a “known pedophile?” If it was known, then we were on the outs. And to even this minute right now, I don’t have any conclusive evidence that Crimson is a pedophile. The evidence I have is that Crimson shared nsfw with a group of people whose ages they did not know. Which is fucking gross. It’s an adult’s responsibility to make sure they’re speaking with other adults before posting things of that nature. 

But at the time, the way I read the situation is that Crimson had only just stopped being a minor and was egregiously negligent in how they were speaking and what they were posting, likely in part due to them not being aware enough of their adult responsibilities.  And hey. I know some of you are chomping at the bit. You can call me naïve for this! This is what I’m referring to when I say that I can be a real idiot. But I feel everyone has been very quick to call Crimson a pedophile. I know this is pedantic to say, but the prerequisite for being a pedophile is “being attracted to minors.” Based on the information I had at my fingertips, I did not think Crimson sought out these minors. Crimson was invited to the gc, they did not ask to join. 

I have seen discussions about all the things crimson did to their victims since we unbanned them but I have not seen screencaps to support that whole ‘marriage proposal’ thing, and again I think it sounds a bit odd coming as a pedophilia accusation from someone only one year younger than crimson.  

But you know what? I don’t know crimson. Maybe we were wrong. But even if we weren’t, I realize in hindsight that it was a stupid decision for the mod team to give them a second chance. We didn’t have anyone to consult about what happened because all the other people in the chat had been obscured from me and I didn’t feel like Laci would give me a straight answer. 

The mods and I felt at the time that crimson, like the other targets of Clique #1, had been singled out and that they deserved another very closely monitored chance in the discord, which they said they still missed dearly. I’m a bleeding heart, alright? A total sap. I know that. But being honest with you, I felt bad. It feels horrible to be singled out and targeted. And I was probably too close to that feeling at the time, seeing as we were on the tail end of finding out the Clique #2 had pursued me so relentlessly for so long. 

So for my part, I’m sorry. I made a rash decision that was influenced by some very personal circumstances. And we should have left it alone. Based on the evidence I've seen, I don’t know if I personally would call crimson a pedophile and certainly I wouldn't call them a known pedophile, but I am regretful that we risked it either way.

When I was trying to explain all of this in the west common room channel two nights back, things had boiled over and were already getting out of hand very quickly. A lot of brand new accounts were joining the discord with one word intros just to start conflicts in the public server with crimson. Alts. Either from banned users or burner accounts. And I got panicky. One of the mods paused the messages in west common room but no one besides me was available to handle the situation at that moment. Reacts about being silenced were pouring in and I felt pressured to quickly take over and try to explain. 

In my rush, I stupidly didn’t backread more than a quick skim. And I ate shit, y’all. You saw. One thing I want to state outright. I’m talking a lot about my thoughts and my feelings and it’s because I don’t wanna speak for Flynn or for the mods. But I didn’t make this decision alone. In fact, I was dragging my feet and being really lazy about okaying the whole thing. Just because I was busy, not because I was fretting over it or anything. But I had to be pinged and then literally tapped on the shoulder by Flynn, asking me to respond to mod chat when this was being discussed earlier that day. That doesn’t change the fact that I was part of the decision. I agreed to unban crimson. Foolishly. I understand that, now. 

I hope that now it makes some more sense though, how it came to happen. I never meant to hurt anyone. My own past and present feelings got in the way, and I own that. But in the moment, my personal intention was to give crimson a second chance because I felt that they’d been targeted by Clique #1. Not to ignore anyone’s concerns or make them feel unsafe, even if those were the ultimate outcome.  

So, completely underprepared and defensive, I jumped into west common room and I just. Blew it. Totally fucking blew it. I knew it instantly but it’s hard to stay logical when people are telling you you’re vile and evil and they’re sick that they ever thought you were a good person and that they’ll never see you the same way again. My mind went blank and I don’t really remember much of what happened next. But I said what I said, and I should have done better. 

I wish there was a word bigger than sorry. I’m beside myself. I know there was probably a way to make everyone happy. To make everything okay. But I wasn't clever enough to figure it out in the moment, and it eats at me. So it’s like I’m sorry for my poor judgment and my terrible choice of words, but there’s another layer where I’m also sorry for not matching how wonderful this community is with how wonderful (or well, unwonderful) I was two nights ago. I promise I am going to work harder to be better for you all.

Again, to every victim of SA and CSA, my heart is with you, more personally than you might realize. I don’t think I could have handled my explanation in a worse way. And I’m so so sorry.

Moving forward, I am also going to take an enormous step back from moderating and participating in the discord in general. I feel like a lot of this happened because I was still treating it like it belonged to a smaller fandom, like Shiloh’s. But realistically, I don’t have time to both moderate and make the series itself, and I really dragged my feet on being honest with myself about that. And for that too, I apologize. We’re going to get more mods, they’re going to have full control of the moderation, and Flynn and I are going to do what we love more than anything in the world and just make Nevermore.

I understand if you won’t be there for it. This is not a flattering picture I’ve painted for you. And you’d be well within your rights, to decide not to give us another chance. But it's been a pleasure to lurk here in this wildly talented corner of tumblr. And I’ll never forget it. <3 Yours truly, -Kit Trace

[amomentsescape]

Hey hey! You are so amazing and I love your work so much 💜💜💜

I need a bit of angst in my life so can I please request Thomas Hewitt x reader where they got into a heated argument and Thomas signs something he regrets. With tears in their eyes, reader storms out of the house and does not return for hours. How would he react? What would he be thinking when he sees the tears running down the cheeks of his partner? What would he think when they don’t come back after hours had passed?

What Should Have Been Said

Thomas Hewitt x Reader

Summary: After becoming worried about Reader's safety, Thomas says some things he doesn't mean.

Warnings: Angst, cussing

Word Count: 1,436

Part II

A/N: Thank you so much! Writing this was definitely pretty sad on my part. I hope you enjoy the angst!

It was just a big misunderstanding. But that's how these arguments normally started, right?

As someone who wasn't able to verbally communicate his thoughts and feelings well, things were inevitably going to become misconstrued at some point. But with the strong Texas heat burning through his skin like fire, everything seemed to be fueling his present frustrations.

He had told you earlier to stay inside while he tended to the outside chores. The sun was going to be unbearable that day, and with all the sharp tools lying around, he didn't want to risk you getting hurt.

So you listened to him for a while, letting him work alone. But after several hours of not seeing him, you became worried.

He hadn't even stopped in for a quick drink of water or an update to let you know he was okay.

You finally decided that sitting around and letting these worries stew wasn't benefitting anyone. So carefully, you got up, grabbed a glass of ice water, and slipped on some shoes, heading out into the blazing sun.

A quick trip around the house told you that he wasn't there which meant that he could only be in one other place: the shed.

You snuck in carefully and were immediately hit with the sound of metal banging against wood.

You were happy to see that he wasn't spending all of his time in the sun, but the shed almost felt worse than the outdoors did. There wasn't enough ventilation in here, making the temperature feel much hotter than you deemed safe.

You rounded the corner quickly, the glass of water in your hand already dripping from the condensation.

However, when you walked past the shelf, you didn't notice the meat hook poking out from the side.

It immediately caught your arm and cut through your skin with ease, causing you to drop the glass of water on instinct and hiss.

The shattering of glass cause Thomas to spin around quickly, a sharp butcher's knife being raised up on reflex in case he saw someone unwelcomed.

And in that moment, he would have much rather seen a lowly stranger in that shed than you hunched over with a small pool of blood beginning to form near your foot.

He immediately dropped the knife and rushed over, grabbing your arm gently but forcefully, looking at how bad the wound was.

"I'm okay, Thom-"

He quickly cut you off by picking you up, taking you straight back to the house.

The next few minutes were filled with an uncomfortable silence, him working hard at cleaning your wound and getting it wrapped up.

It wasn't like Thomas to act like this. His brows were furrowed and his touch was a bit rougher than normal.

In the past, a situation like this would have evoked a tender response from him, his whole being dedicating itself to doting on you and making sure you felt safe.

However, this time the air was filled with a feeling of uncomfortableness. His gaze hadn't even attempted to meet yours since he brought you inside from the shed.

The moment he finished patching you up, he was already heading for the door, not giving you a single ounce of acknowledgement.

This not only disappointed you, but it also ignited a slight irritation in your chest. You were just badly injured, and he didn't even seem to give a shit?

"Thomas," you said a bit more sternly than you intended.

He paused in the doorway, his head slightly tilting towards you in a way to show that he was listening.

You swallowed roughly. "You haven't said a single thing to me the past 30 minutes. What's wrong?"

He turned his head back to the floor, not giving you the reaction you were hoping for. The pain in your arm mixed with the uncomfortable feeling of sweat dripping down your body seemed to only fuel the anger that was beginning to build. Why was he ignoring you?

"Are you mad?" you tried.

The tone of your voice made it sound more accusatory than concerned, but you didn't really care in that moment. You were hurt both physically and emotionally at Thomas's nonchalance, and he deserved to know that.

He finally turned all the way to face you at this, the deep creases in his forehead revealing that something was definitely bothering him, and your questioning only seemed to provoke it more.

But with a quick response, Thomas signed, "I'm fine."

You almost scoffed at this.

"Well, that's good for you. But you haven't showed a single sign of caring towards me since I went to see you. What's going on?"

He just stood there breathing heavily.

That anger began to rise even more.

"Answer me."

He irritably began signing to you again, explaining that you shouldn't have gone outside when he explicitly told you not to.

You felt your face burn at how blunt he was being towards you. This wasn't like him; he never got this angry with you.

"I was worried," you started. You could already feel that familiar burn in your throat. "You were out there for hours, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"And I told you to stay inside," he signed.

He was deflecting, and this only seemed to piss you off more. You were there telling him how you were only wanting to look after him, and yet that seemed to make him angry at you? Why? What's so bad about looking out for your partner?

Your eyes were beginning to burn, and you could tell that this anger was beginning to evolve into anguish.

"I just wanted to take care of you!" you almost yelled.

And in an instant, Thomas was already signing back, "I don't need you."

And that's what did it.

The tears spilled over, and your were choking on your own sobs at this response.

One of the first things he ever said to you was that he needed you. Even before the love confession or the asking to be yours, he was telling you that all he would ever need in this life was you.

Seeing him say these words to you broke your heart more than any other rejection could have done.

With blurry eyes and a pained expression, you rushed out the back door, leaving Thomas standing there in confusion and utter shock.

By the time he gathered his bearings and ran after you, he was met with an empty yard, no sight of you within reach.

He crumbled to the ground at the revelation that you were gone. What had he done?

If only he could have expressed to you the truth behind his worries.

He told you to stay inside for your safety. He was angry not because of you, but because you got hurt. This was the most severe injury you had sustained while being with him, and that severity is what caused him to shut down so quickly.

Seeing all that blood and such a deep wound made him realize that anything could happen to you. He could lose you in an instant, and that revelation cause him to lock up.

He could never be angry at you, he was just terrified of losing you.

And he didn't mean what he said. God, he desperately needed you more than anything in his life. But he was willing to say just about anything to keep you safe in that moment. But his worried mind clouded over that fact that he was only pushing you away.

He couldn't get the image of your tear-stained face out of his mind. He had never seen you so broken before, and he certainly would have never wanted to be the reason you felt that way.

He continued to stay kneeled to that spot for minutes and then hours. He refused to move.

You were going to come back, you had to. He couldn't do this without you.

But once the sun began to set, and the moon shone it's light down on him, he felt nothing but despair.

What if something had happened to you? Should he have gone and searched for you despite not knowing which direction you went? Would you ever be able to find your way back to him if you changed your mind?

He fully collapsed to the ground at these worries. The dirt and dust below him turned to spots of mud as the moisture from his own tears collided with the soil.

He signed to whatever Gods had to be out there watching him, "please, come back."

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

but also like. guys you don’t need to leave the minecraft youtube community bc one person is bad to clarify. like. shelby is a minecraft youtuber. a lot of her friends are minecraft youtubers. those friends are supportive and as far as we know all believe her. the vast majority of minecraft youtubers are like. fine. this shit is something that Happens because Abusers are Manipulative, going to another hobby will Not shield you from anything and you’re not immoral for liking something bad people also liked. which is. one of the biggest video games ever. like in this situation no one was knowingly harbouring an abuser and it seems everyone was supportive. this is just a case of some people being shit, not anything to do with mcyt. hell, the guy hasn’t been on minecraft in like a year lmao.

i fully understand why the content might be uncomfortable to you guys now but like, please don’t self flagellate and cut yourself off from an entire genre of media because of one guy again. i saw that happen after the dream stuff and a lot of people ended up losing important things because they made rash decisions and felt like they Had to leave. but please. take one deep fucking breath. this has happened before. this has happened so much before, and in ways far worse than this. because abusers, unfortunately, exist. you should not feel guilty for being manipulated by a manipulative abuser, don’t blame yourself. do what you have to, but please, please keep in mind that the majority of minecraft youtube is fine. it is fine to continue engaging with it. it’s fine to be manipulated by an abuser and it’s not your fault. please don’t make rash decisions and end up losing things you care deeply about and being unable to get them back. distance yourself all you want, but please be careful to not do so out of emotional self harm from the guilt. that’s something this fandom encourages far too much- even outside of this- and it’s unhealthy and anyone expecting it of you is cruel.

[fumifooms]

Wait one darn diggity second what’s this about unmarried half-foot women being embarrassing for the family, what’s this about being unmarried as a half-foot being "different [worse than] for other races". Maybe Flertom and Puckpatti’s intensity about finding a husband is the norm, maybe Meijack, despite Chilchuck approving of her disinterest in romance, is the one who’s considered weird by social standards.

Maybe they’re less well-adjusted than I thought. Don’t misunderstand me I’m aroace, but if there’s a lot of societal pressure and it’s considered a failure if you’re not married, it is notable when all 3 of your kids haven’t married past the time that’s expected. For reference adulthood for a half-foot is reached at 14, Chil got married at 13, Puckpatti is 14 while Flertom and Meijack are 16. The other half-foot character we have is Mickbell who is also unmarried, unsurprising considering his situation. I don’t think them not having married is about their family being poorer, if anything I’d think Chil’s family is on the comfier end of half-foot families with the high wages he gets paid with and the nice living conditions we’ve seen (although we don’t know when he started being paid well). We know about Flertom having high standards, but she and Puckpatti are actively looking to date, so there’s something going on here whatever it is.

It is nice that it doesn’t seem like Chilchuck cares at all, he even seems to generally dislike the idea of his daughters dating. I imagine that their mother must have also not pressured them into marrying at all, maybe even encouraged them not to marry if they didn’t have someone, which is sweet. And understandable, considering she might not want her daughters to rush into it and live with…….. Being stuck in an unhappy marriage. And here comes in what I meant when I said well-adjusted, daddy issues. We aren’t shown a lot of Chil’s married life, but I would bet my life on there having been tensions and warning signs. Especially since, since the daughters and Chil hadn’t seen each other since the separation before post-canon, there’s an air of not having been very surprised or panicked about the whole thing: the separation wasn’t unexpected. Having to watch your parents fall out of love and growing up seeing them in a taxing marriage can be hard, and not exactly put you in the mood to try and find romance and marry. Fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy, stunted emotional intelligence, fear of commitment… Oh girlies I am about to extrapolate so much from this

Half-foot society has a lot of coding I don’t have enough specialized knowledge to pin down, but they’re a poor working class people, anglo peasant vibes. They have tightly knit communities, but then the double edge is that if your community has expectations and rules to belong, the pressure will be harsh and it can end up being more isolating if you deviate from it. Marriage historically and in Dunmeshi has a lot of economical aspects, in Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile for example dowries are hinted at.

So the pressure to marry might very well originate from the need to bring money in to your family, and to unite families as allies. And from there it grows into an expectation, and thus if they aren’t married it’s "an unmarried woman was deemed unfit by suitors, something with her must be off"/"This woman was unable to provide for her family, she must be a burden on them" which results into the family having a bad reputation. If Flertom says it’s worse for half-foots than other races, the reasons must be either social or economical or both. There’s of course their lifespan being shorter too, so that might play into it, expectations to go about things quickly and to have a fast life cycle and making sure to have kids. As we see with Laios, having kids is a pressure that does exist globally as well. Elves are another interesting example of how familial expectations are like in Dunmeshi with heirdom and whatnot, but free me I just wanted to bring up the possibility of Childaughters being societal misfits and having relational issues.

I will also mention that in a similar way, Chilchuck’s wife leaving him may have damaged the daughters’ chances, in a "what if they’re like their mother, the type of woman to abandon her husband!" way. Chilchuck also has a reputation especially as an union leader, which can paint him as dependable as much as it can paint him as someone harsh and stingy, which would be an intimidating. It’s possible they’re a bit more well-off from the rest of the half-foot community as mentioned, which could add to the intimidating factor or a bad reputation as an overall uptight family or one that has drama. Again, double edge of community being very tightly knit and important, with family as one of its highest values.

[starbluekindo]

Vampire Vic x Werewolf reader

Fun plot point is that its like forbidden lovers (you know vampires and werewolves hate eachother bla bla bla) and so the reader and Vic try to keep that shit hidden from the public because they both have high standing within their supernatural community

so i was really excited writing this, but i was also a little unsure about what to do and how to do it since i've never written anything like this (and it wasn't as easy as i thought it would be), BUT if you - and the other readers- like this i can try to turn it into a small series.

warnings: au, a little angst i guess, mentions of blood, mentions of the boys (butcher more specifically), dead humans, a little homophobic and sexist if you squint, reader just wanting to love victoria in peace - i don't think i forgot anything.

the night was restless. the full moon shone high in the sky, its lights bathing the dense forest that separated the werewolf and vampire territories. you patrolled the borders with your pack, but a dark foreboding grew in your chest.

something wasn't right.

the silence was too dense, suffocating. the night seemed to announce that something bad was coming - and bloody hell, you always feared the worst. suddenly, the silence was broken by a high-pitched scream, unmistakably human.

and then, the smell of blood hit you like a punch.

“vampire” you heard one of your companions spit in disgust and then a large giant wolf ran past you quickly, not bothering to ask your permission or wait for the rest of the group.

“fuck! follow him!” that would be a bloodshed. you knew the temperament of your group, especially butcher's - he never respected your authority.

when you came to clarity, the scenario unfolding before your eyes was a nightmare. one of the vampires, practically a child, had crossed the border to hunt, something unthinkable. three human bodies lay on the ground, brutally torn apart, blood still running through the dry leaves. butcher had his claws stuck in the vampire's neck, trying to rip his head off.

“release him, butcher” you ordered when you saw what he was trying to do, that would only make the situation even worse and put your pack in a war with the vampires. "now".

"he crossed the damn border and killed under our noses!" he roared, his eyes blazing with anger. “this is an insult, a declaration of war!”

“war will start if you don't release this vampire now” your voice was firm, the situation wasn't the best but you knew that acting on impulse would only make everything worse.

your hands shook. this couldn't be happening. you knew that if this was exposed, the fragile peace between vampires and werewolves would shatter. and worse, it would put victoria—and the relationship you shared—at risk. your eyes fixed on the vampire, the invader, as the chaos in your mind screamed for control. how did this happen?

“summon the council and don’t let this get out of here, that’s an order.”

the pack meeting was called hastily, with only the closest and most trusted members — the upper echelon, the wolves with experience and power to influence the direction of leadership. the small group was gathered in a circle, under the shelter of tall trees that blocked the light of the full moon, with the smell of damp earth in the air. the atmosphere was tense, heavy with the expectation of action.

you were in the center of the circle, feeling the heavy gazes on you. everyone was waiting for a decision. the massacre on the border had deeply shaken the trust among the wolves, and now, everyone wanted justice.

butcher, as always, was the first to break the silence.

"there's nothing to discuss here," he began, his voice firm and full of hate. "that bastard crossed the border and killed humans. we already know what has to be done." he crossed his arms, his muscles bulging with pent-up fury, and his eyes glittered with mischief. "we want his head."

a murmur of agreement passed through the others present. one of the older wolves, known for his coldness and prudence, took the floor soon after.

"butcher is right. we can't ignore this. if we don't take action now, we will look weak. this isn't just an offense — it's a breach of the treaty. it's a direct affront."

you felt the weight of those words. i knew the situation was delicate, that tensions between vampires and werewolves were always a powder keg ready to explode. but at the same time, you knew that giving in to demands for revenge would only bring more blood and a conflict that could be devastating for both sides.

“i understand what you’re saying,” you began, keeping your voice controlled even as the pressure grew by the second. "but taking his head won't solve the problem. it'll just burn everything down."

butcher took a step forward, his eyes fixed on yours, as if he was waiting for that answer. "burn everything down?" he growled. "do you think this place isn't already on fire? they've already crossed the line. they've already killed innocent people. and you want to let it go? we need to act with strength, show that we are not weak!”

you took a deep breath, feeling the heat of butcher's fury radiate. "i know you're angry. i am too. but we need to be strategic. if we kill this vampire now, we will be declaring war. are you prepared for that? a war that could end us all?"

butcher laughed, a short, bitter sound. "and since when have we been afraid of a good war? let them come. let's cut each of them down and see if they're still as brave without their fucking fangs." his eyes glittered with the desire for violence, and you knew he was ready to dive head first into any conflict that came his way. “or are you afraid of hurting someone in particular?”

butcher's insinuations did not go unnoticed. some of those present exchanged quick glances with each other, and you felt your stomach sink. he was playing dirty, planting seeds of doubt about your loyalty.

“this has nothing to do with fear,” you snapped, voice firmer. “this is about survival. if we act without thinking, we will all pay the bill.”

another member, a woman with sharp eyes and known for her wit, intervened. "so what's the plan? are we just going to let this go? how are we going to explain to the humans what happened? and more importantly, how are we going to keep the pack under control? they're demanding an answer. if you don't do anything, you're going to lose the support from many.”

she was right, and you knew it. the pack was restless, on the verge of revolt. they needed action, justice. but the justice they sought was immediate and brutal, something that would only worsen the situation. you needed a solution, and fast.

“i’m not saying there won’t be consequences,” you replied, aware of the eyes fixed on you. "but let's do this the right way. i'll talk to victoria. she has control over her territory, and we'll make sure this vampire is punished — their way. if he crossed the line, they'll take care of it. but let's not we will be the ones to ignite this war."

butcher let out a short, sarcastic laugh. "do you really think you can trust them? that they'll take care of this? don't fool yourself. she'll protect him. this vampire will come out unscathed, and we'll look foolish— weak."

“that’s not going to happen,” you said, more to yourself than him. “if there is no justice, then we will reconsider. but until then, we need to remain calm.”

you needed to see her

hours later, you met victoria in the secret hideaway where you always meet, away from any prying eyes. but today, the environment carried a suffocating weight. victoria was already waiting, dressed in her usual elegant attire, the usual coldness in her eyes. but you knew something was out of place. she looked paler than usual, her lips tight.

“this is going to spread, and fast,” you begin, voice hard and controlled, but anger bubbling beneath the surface. "one of yours invaded our territory, victoria. he broke the treaty and killed humans. if this isn't resolved immediately, there will be no going back."

victoria stares at you, but doesn't back down. she crosses her arms, maintaining a rigid posture, while her mind works overtime. “i did not authorize this attack.” she said calmly, so calmly that it bothered you.

“but it happened” you replied through gritted teeth, taking a step closer to the brunette “and innocent people were hurt… do you realize the seriousness of the situation?”

“no one needs to know what really happened”

"this isn't simple, vicky!" the anger finally escapes your voice, the words sharp as knives. "you think you can just hide the shit that happens in your territory and everything will work itself out? if my pack finds out that i let this go without fighting back… it will be the end of me. the end of us.”

you see the pain flash in her eyes, but only for an instant. victoria approaches you, her cold fingers gently touching your hand in an attempt to calm the growing storm inside you. "i promise you," she says, her voice softer, almost pleading. "i'll make sure this never happens again. but you need to trust me, like you always have."

your hands shake, not just from anger, but from a deep sadness that nestled in his chest. the weight of what you are — vampire and werewolf, enemy races — felt unbearable now. the fear of losing victoria, the only person who truly understood you, was suffocating.

"if this goes wrong..." you whisper, voice almost breaking, "there are no more secrets. everyone will know what we are. who we are."

victoria stops, her eyes fixed on yours. “then i’ll make it work. i won’t lose you.”

the tension between you remained, an invisible wall, built by years of hatred between your races, but now reinforced by the fear of losing each other. silence hovered, thick as the dark clouds that gathered in the sky. the weight of victoria's words echoed in your mind, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something bigger was lurking, something that even she couldn't control.

“it’s not just my pack we have to worry about,” you said, turning your face to the sky, smelling the approaching rain. "other packs are already watching. if they see the slightest sign of weakness, they will attack. and if that happens..." you hesitated, swallowing the lump in your throat. "i'll have to choose."

victoria remained silent, her face impassive, but you knew she understood the gravity of what was being said. the choice between her and your family, between love and duty to your people, was a decision victoria never wanted you to face. but now, it seemed inevitable.

“hey, look at me” her hands cupped your face, making you look at her again “i’ll fix the situation… just trust me, please darling”

you wanted, you really wanted to believe that it would be resolved, but even if your promise was kept, you knew that the trust between the races would be broken. however, you didn't say anything, just tilted your head and let the brunette's lips meet yours in a passionate kiss full of care and longing.

back on their home turf, things are also tense. the pack leaders questioned your decision not to retaliate immediately. suspicious gazes follow you every step. you feel the weight of the silent betrayal, the secret you carry in your heart.

that night, alone under the starry sky, you look at the full moon. the silver glow brings comfort, but today, it seemed like just another reminder of the gulf that separated you and victoria.

the feeling that your relationship was hanging by a thread is almost suffocating. how long until someone finds out? how long until this falls apart?

you were a good leader, at least you considered yourself one, but at that moment you didn't want to have that weight on your shoulders. you wanted to have victoria, you wanted to love her and be loved in return.

honestly, your desires seemed more distant and impossible every day.

[angelnumbing]

whether you like it or not, YES, obsessively reading love/your person/crush/FS/etc. tarot readings is bad for you.

even if you’re just reading them for fun (like i was), you have to really think about it. first, every reading you click on requires some kind of energetic connection with the reader. if you read/watch multiple of these things a day you’ve got a bunch of strangers all up in your energy all the time and that’s just not going to be a good thing. buying personal ones is included in this.

youtube randomly recommended me a video of a woman explaining that we as clients come to these readings because, most likely, our situations are so unfulfilling or confusing so we seek answers through tarot. this is natural imo and isn’t a sign of bad character or anything, but we have to accept that some things are meant to be a mystery to us. beyond that, a tarot reader (especially one doing PACs or collective readings) can only pick up on the energy of the querent. the other person’s energy cannot be picked up on without consent, which means that tarot readers read your energy and the way you interpret your person’s energy. this means that if you see your person as hot-and-cold and are holding onto hope for a connection that clearly isn’t working, the reader is going to tell you exactly what you’re thinking because the only way that 3rd party person’s energy can be accessed is through the footprint it leaves in your aura.

not only does this mean that — if you consume these readings often — you’re consistently getting told a false one-sided narrative, but it also inherently establishes its own reward system that keeps you coming back for me. for example, you tell yourself that your person likes you (and maybe they do!) but they’re scared of their feelings for you which is why they ghost you. when you receive a reading that says this, it affirms to you that you were right, and the reading was “accurate”. worse than that, these readings and your dependency on them can easily be used to justify clinging on to a relationship or connection that isn’t working. your person goes cold and you run to a tarot reading basically to be told that there is some hope, actually, and now instead of dealing with the difficult feelings that come with romantic disappointment and growing through that, you’re stuck in the stagnant state of waiting for reality to match up to the picture in your head. realistically, the healthiest thing for you to do is move on from this person and work on yourself.

this isn’t to say that all tarot readings are terrible, because i don’t think that at all. tarot can definitely be a great tool for self-discovery and just for getting some direction in life. i also don’t think there’s a problem with doing love readings for yourself as long as it’s not constant and obsessive.

if you find yourself looking for affirmation from these readings, you should instead shift your focus to readings about your shadow self, where you need to grow and heal, and other things like that. we cling on to these lackluster connections because of something in our past that makes disappointing people attractive to us. i know a lot of you on here are very defensive about your precious PAC readings, but the fact of the matter is that you read them because either your love life is nonexistent and you have to consume what is essentially self-insert fanfiction to cope (i’m not coming for you bc i’m in that camp) OR you do have some connection with someone but they are falling short or disappointing you in such a way that direct communication is not possible and you have to turn to an outside source for some kind of answer.

at the end of the day, if you actually care about yourself, you’re going to have to do the (very hard) work of finding security in yourself and who you are. these readings and any relationships you have or aspire to have are never going to replace that. and frankly a few of you seem to put too much weight on the meaning of these readings. i remember someone said they don’t bother to put any effort into their current relationships anymore because they “know” their current partner isn’t the one bc it doesn’t match up to what they’ve read in FS readings. at some point you need to use your common sense. the readings get hundreds of notes and thousands of views and there’s no way you can rationally justify making decisions like that based off of something meant to apply to everyone who watches and not just you specifically.

i’m making this post because i’ve stopped consuming readings like this and i actually feel so much better mentally and spiritually. they actually are fully capable of making you completely delusional as well, which in some contexts isn’t exactly a bad thing but it’s not a great state to be in when it comes to your interpersonal relationships. ultimately i hope that i’m able to at least of few other people break their pattern and kickstart a genuine healing journey.

i don’t use this app often, tbh so if you get mad in my replies you might as well take it up with god because i’m not looking and if i am looking i’m not caring at the same time. toodles!!

[vermilionsun]

If you are still open for requests..how about Ais and Kuras (or pick which one) with a child/children?

Of course!! Don’t hesitate to send in more if ya want <3

Ais

Father figure of the year

✩ Pretty chill in general

He's the type of dad who will let you have a good time but also make sure you're staying safe.

✩ Always there to lend an ear or offer advice… or constructive criticism—

You can always count on him to give you straightforward and honest advice, even if it's not what you want to hear. Even though he may not always agree with your choices, you know that his intentions are always good and that he genuinely cares about your well-being. Ais may not show his emotions openly, but his love and support for his child would be unwavering.

✩ Seems to know exactly what to say in any situation.

Whether you need help with a problem or just want someone to talk to, he is always there for you (with judgment /j)

✩ Don't even bother to lie to him.

He can see right through any facade and will always know when you're not being completely honest. His ability to detect deception is uncanny, but it also makes him a trustworthy confidant. Besides, what even did you do that made you think the consequences would be that bad? (Or even exist?) Partying? Smoking? Drinking? Drugs? Sex?

✩ “Lame. When I was your age I was way worse—”

✩ CRAZY parent lore.

And he mentions it so casually every time. Like, he's seen (and done) it all before. Nothing seems to faze him in the slightest.

✩ He's the kind of guy who would drop everything to help his kid, no questions asked.

✩ On the other hand, if we're talking about babies…

He might be a bit (completely) clueless when it comes to diaper changing, feeding schedules, or soothing a crying infant. However, his willingness to learn and his dedication to being the best parent he can be are admirable qualities.

✩ He's the type of person who will spend hours researching the best parenting techniques and tips.

✩ He gets the hang of it pretty quick.

✩ He is incredibly patient to the point where it becomes a bit scary. 

✩ COMMITTED.

From reading bedtime stories to playing endless games of peek-a-boo, a cheerleader, a rock, a shoulder to cry on—he's all in when it comes to being a parent. 

✩ GIRL DAD

✩ If anyone dares to think about touching his child, they'll never see the light of day again.

Kuras

24/7 confusion

✞ This begs the question of whether the child would be half-angel.

Let's assume so, because it becomes ten times funnier.

✞ Absolutely  b e w i l d e r e d  in the beginning.

✞ “...Why does it cry so much?”

Another question that often arises is, "Is there something wrong with it that I can't see?" He's just… confused. He doesn't really understand babies. Kuras is used to living a fast-paced, independent lifestyle, so the idea of being responsible for a helpless infant is overwhelming for him.

✞ Incredibly good once he figures it out.

Despite his initial confusion and overwhelming feelings, Kuras quickly adapts. Kuras is always on call to help with midnight feedings and diaper changes, making sure the baby is well taken care of around the clock.

✞ “Uh… honey? The baby is floating.”

Cue Kuras calmly walking into the room and safely guiding the baby back to the ground with a knowing smile. It becomes a common occurrence in the household. 

✞ Eventually takes on the role of mentor, teaching the child how to control their powers and use them for good.

✞ Slightly strict

Believes in setting boundaries and enforcing rules to ensure the well-being and safety of his children. He considers discipline an important aspect of parenthood, as it helps instill good behavior and values in his kids. He may come off as harsh at times, but it all stems from a place of love and protection. Kuras wants his children to grow up knowing right from wrong and understanding the importance of structure in their lives.

✞ Comfort

He listens without judgment, allowing his children to express themselves freely. Kuras encourages open communication and fosters a strong bond based on trust and respect.

✞ Don't even bother to lie to him part 2

If you try to sneak out, he'll be waiting for you at the door, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. You can try to pull one over on him, but chances are, he'll see right through it. It's better to just be honest and upfront with him, because he always seems to know what's going on.

✞ Consequences

Although Kuras seems disappointed at times, he knows that it is all part of the process of growing up and learning from mistakes. He understands that his children need to make their own choices and face the consequences of those choices in order to become independent and responsible adults. Kuras tries to offer guidance and support, but ultimately allows his children to take ownership of their decisions and experiences.

✞ Always puts his children's needs above his own.

✞ Being the doctor he is and a parent can be a challenging juggling act. Kuras, however, manages to balance both roles with grace and dedication.

✞ T r i p l e t s

✞ If anyone dares to harm their child, he will stop at nothing to protect them. Fuck repentance and forgiveness; Kuras will seek justice with a vengeance that knows no bounds.

[evansbuck-ley]

yk what i have been thinking about? the bucktommy beginning was sm about tommy teaching and showing buck new things. and it felt so romantic and hot. but now 8x06 has recontexualized everything in a bad way. 😩

it seems like they never had any casual talks about buck's newly discovered queerness. just, yk, hey, how are you feeling two months into this relationship? do you still have moments where you worry what others might think? buck put a rainbow emoji in his public instagram account during pride, has queer friends, and... he apparently did nothing with his personal queer revelations?

they apparently also never talked about exes and what they did in their lives before meeting and how they want their lives to look like in their future and their personal boundaries and and and... like, you ask those big questions (family plans, financial situation, hobbies, job situation, etc.) in the dating phase, which is before you actually commit to a person in an exclusive monogamous way! why invest in a relationship when you don't even ask if the other is looking for something long-term lol?

the fact that 8x06 also confirmed that they spend a lot of time together just makes things worse because 1.) what the fuck have you been doing all this time then, both individually and together, and 2.) then it makes even less sense for buck to ask tommy to move in or for tommy to break up immediately or for both wanting to reach out because how did they even reach the 6 month mark without talking? without learning anything of importance about each other and themselves?

it makes canon bucktommy look like every other shallow short-term fling that buck had so far. could have simply been fuck buddies and they would have had the same level of knowledge about each other after 6 months. just hate how this one episode retrospectively fucked over canon bucktommy in so many different ways ☹️

8x06 is straight up trash. fact.

if they had always planned for them to break up they could have done it SO much better and not leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. And you are right, contextually it makes the whole six months they were together seem so…meh.

and as much as people joke about buck speed running his bisexual awakening, since the first initial story line, has anyone really acknowledged it? are you telling me that hen has not even spoken to buck about what this all means to him? wdym known research freak evan buckley didn’t spent all night after tommy kissed him deep diving into this whole new side to him. they simply said “look he is bi and now has a boyfriend” and moved on. they don’t even SAY the word bisexual in the show. which is just fucking insane to me. they just skate around it in such a horrendous way.

and don’t even get me started on the Abby side of things because I absolutely DESPISE it. it’s such lazy writing.

but on the flip side, contextually 8x06 gave us so much good. buck was ready for something more with tommy, he was ready to live together and grow old together. he was ready for tommy to be just last. same for tommy, he wanted all that with buck. buck was also tommy’s last and they had so much opportunity to really dig into his character, to explore why he was scared to go there with buck. but again, they just wrote it off.

we also have previous episodes that actively show that this isn’t just a fling, especially for tommy. he showed up to the cafe simply because buck asked. he came to the hospital after fighting a fire because he made a promise and buck got a lil pouty about it. he showed up for buck again and again in 8x05 because he clearly cared.

for me personally, 8x06 doesn’t make their whole relationship seem like a fling. for me, it shows that these two characters care about each other so much, but clearly lack some communication of how they feel and where they both are, in the context of their relationship and in the context of their own personal journey’s.

[girlreblogger]

also to add to my previous post, when i say blk yn go through crazy situations im exaggerating but i mean (“cause me personally!!!!!!!!!!!”) allowing the character to be treated in certain manner and be put in “awkward” positions. i also want to say that the “situations” seem unfulfilling like i wanted to say in the first place.

because of the unsavory situations she is put in she legit has to have characteristics that are straight up unnecessary if the wellbeing of her character was prevalent. and i have to say that because of blk yn stories that it applies to. (and no ian talking abt how ppl be complaining abt yn being “ghetto” 😒)

drama, comfort, or for fun, is cool and dandy but it’s the same type of thing and i’m not tryna come for the plug stories like don’t nbgaf like omg i’m so tired of hearing bout them freaking stories.

to the ppl who still decide to ignore how damaging fr CERTAIN! blk yn fics y’all remind me of the ppl who support tyler perry movies simply because it’s for entertainment and “he’s telling a story” (that not everyone has)

yep. those things are true but an impact worse than good is being produced. like bffr.

and i feel conflicted by even saying that because some ppl obviously genuinely relate or find comfort in those stories but at what cost. like is comfort worth change and progression?

me rn:

some ppl just really don’t gaf and don’t care to want better. please don’t let the ppl who don’t gaf sway you. for the ppl who do, reblog nice fics or write. blow them up so other blk girls can find them. we deserve it.

there are so many blk fics where yn is not going through those things and if there is “drama” is solved or there’s a healthy resolve. (there’s so many blk writers who need to be publishing books fuck tumblr or ao3 and tryna get reblogs. with all that talent girl MAKE SOME MONEYYYY! YALL STUFF BE GOOD.)

i’m dead serious. why haven’t you thought abt it.

but yeah. it is what it is we have to put more work in to change as people in general. but i really just want my ppl to grow. ppl find comfort in fics for a reason. i really think a good balance of what everyone is looking for and needs should be found. i know ppl gonna feel like ppl telling them what to do but they prolly the ones who don’t want the change for wtv.. reason… ahem..

ppl feeling hit by what i said:

there’s obviously a problem and as a ppl! why can’t we just fix it. like at least try.

side note:

there’s so many ways to get drama. also the smut after arguing piss me off this is off topic cause it applies to a lot of ppl who make fics but like damn. y’all ain’t gon talk it out. and it be the most weird arguments and stuff and you wanna squeeze lemons after that???

idk that annoys me like everyyyy time? and i think smut after arguments can be well written but ….

anyways the blk ff community to damn big for us to be sitting here starving acting like we don’t have food in the refrigerator to make something.

get it together yall. youn want what’s in the refrigerator go get your keys and buy something.

i’m tired of this shit that’s why so many blk writers stop writing or ppl stop reading because it’s too much going on all for some damn fake characters we wanna imagine ourselves with.

and i know for some ppl it’s abt the followers and all that which i mean to each is own i mean

sigh i was tryna be proper and cordial but i really want better for us but it’s so many ppl who go too far or do too little. and some are so sheep that they go with someone else’s opinion too. you know you tired of all the toxic fics say sumn. you know you tired of ppl constantly bringing up yn being ghetto for no reason (that shit piss me off so bad i can’t. they be so close but so farr) say sumn.

me after thinking someone finna bring up how unnecessary struggle love/toxic/extra smutty blk fics are but they end up just complaining abt yn using aave:

anyways i’m ranting. i wanted to say what i felt.

muah

[liillyliilly]

Hell of a Hike

miya atsumu x reader words; 2121 synopsis; There are three components to a bad hike. Number one, getting lost. Number two, having to pass the time. And number three, being stuck with Miya Atsumu. You should've known that he would become glued to you.

“You’re honestly not going to say anything?” Atsumu faced you, walking backwards on the hiking trail.

You swallowed thickly, before turning your face away. “There isn’t much to talk about, now is there?”

Atsumu stopped, which caused you to accidentally bump into him. He traced a finger along your jaw, before holding onto your chin and lifting your head upwards. “I knew you could talk, and with such a sweet little voice too.”

Lightly pulling his hand away from your face, you folded your arms walking forward. You were lost in the middle of nowhere, and to make matters worse, you were lost with Atsumu Miya. He sped up for a bit before matching your pace, walking by your side. When he started humming some random pop song, you thought that he would finally start to leave you alone. Fate had other ideas though.

“What kind of music do you like?” You shrugged, but he pressed further, “C’mon, everyone has a favorite type of music! You gotta at least have a favorite song?”

Normally, he seemed abrasive and overly arrogant, but today he seemed more bearable. Possibly because you two were stuck on some winding hiking path and had no idea about how to get back down to the Inarizaki campsite.

What kind of school coordinates a mid-year trip to encourage bonding, friendship and all those other icky community building behaviors anyway?

“Are you sure you don’t have any idea about how to get back?” You asked, rubbing your elbow. You stopped walking and furrowed your eyebrows. You didn't like being afraid of people, but in Atsumu's presence, you weren't quite sure if you'd be consider friend or food if it came to a survival situation.

Atsumu put a hand over his mouth, rubbing it for a bit before speaking, “Absolutely no idea. Guess you’re stuck with me until I figure out how to get back then?” His signature smirk drawing back onto his face as he moved to lean a nearby tree. His foot slipped on the foliage on the ground and he fell down, his hand also sliding off the tree. He quickly tried to regain his posture without making too much of a fool out of himself.

Rolling your eyes, you tried to remember any sliver of knowledge that could help you get back to the camp. “Why did you follow me? I mean, there isn’t much of a reason for you to go on a hike now is there?” You poked around some bushes and trees, looking for a trail marker or an arrow sign that could direct you back.

An athlete of his nature would rather be in a gym than outdoors you supposed.

“Well, why did you decide to go on a hike?” Atsumu responded, now also investigating for a trail marker as well.

Your words got trapped in your throat as they failed to express what you wanted to say. You couldn’t just tell him that you wanted to go on a hike because you were looking for a high enough point to get cell phone bars, especially not when everyone was supposed to be offline during the class’s camping trip. The phone in your jacket pocket began to feel very heavy as you stuttered out an answer.

He could never know that you were trying to read one more chapter of that online novel you had become obsessed with. At worst, it was essentially smut. At best, it was a literary masterpiece. You couldn't wait to see what this chapter had in store.

“Well, I guess, I guess that hikes help to relieve stress?” You toyed with your cell phone case, hiding your hands in your pockets.

Atsumu did not look convinced in the slightest.

“Are you sure it's not because you were looking for a way to get a cell signal?” Atsumu shoved his hand into his pant pocket before pulling out his own phone and waving it around loosely.

"I was trying to get an update on the Olympic Trials for volleyball. Erik Shoji is bound to be apart of Team USA and I needed to confirm. I also wanted to make sure that Team Japan landed Masahiro Sekita."

He really must love volleyball. Glancing at his phone case showed a clear case with volleyball stickers, various sports apparel logos, and even a small doodle of him and a volleyball with a heart circling the two.

His phone slipped, and he catched it before it fell to the ground. Quick reflexes for someone who just fell earlier.

The action made you giggle slightly, before you pulled out your own phone, and Atsumu gave an earnest smile. “Great minds think alike.” He offered.

“Please do not pull me down to your level with that insult.” You pursed your lips to keep from breaking into a fit of laughter at your own words.

Atsumu just gasped before putting a hand over his heart and pretending to be wounded by letting out a series of exclamations. “You wound me, truly you do Y/n.”

The smell of evergreen trees floated around, the smell of fire sewn into your clothes. The way your hair was slightly puffed up due to the humidity, the way your teeth shined white and blinded him when you gave him a smile. The raw state of you made Atsumu fall further into the trench he was digging for himself by liking you.

The next hour was spent in conversation and laughter flitting about you two, the conversations easily bouncing between you and Atsumu. When the sun had finally set, your nerves arose again, anxious at the mere thought of being lost in the woods in the middle of the night.

When you confessed those thoughts to him, Atsumu started to rub the back of his neck.

“Um, well you see, ugh, please don’t hate me.” Atsumu closed his eyes tightly, tugging on his blonde hair lightly before letting out a deep breath. “I know the way back.”

You took a step back from him, to which he cringed and then frowned. “I'm really sorry, I am. I just thought, well, I wasn’t thinking, but I guess that-”

You cut him off, your words slicing the air like a knife. “Take me back to camp right now.” Your simple statement stood like a wall between you and Atsumu. He opened his mouth to say something, but relented and started walking down the right pass of the fork in the trail.

He knew that he had messed up, he really did. But how else was he going to be around you if you always managed to escape his presence, like water slipping through his hands.

As you walked back to the camp, the silence was louder than the echoes that resonated from the tall mountains. The trees seemed to enjoy watching Atsumu plot out what he should say, the trees stared on as you tried your best to figure out whether Atsumu’s intentions were honest or if he just wanted in your pants. A similarity between the two of you at that moment was that you both wished that the earth would just open up and swallow you down to its molten core.

“I know that you probably don’t ever want to talk to me again, but please, just hear me out for a moment.” Atsumu held onto your arm once you had exited the trail. The pathway that was covered in woodchips and blocked in by rocks on either side looked very appealing to you. But when you looked back to Atsumu, his brown eyes had turned into honey from the sunset. The desperate pain of wanting to be heard shone through for the first time since you met him earlier that evening.

When you crossed your arms and shrugged, Atsumu smirked.

You could be friends. That was the decision made in first year between you and that boy from the hike.

Gradually, you had realized and mused that maybe that was all he wanted in the first place. Someone to be friends with outside of volleyball.

So you became his friend. Until the work of second year caught up to you. Taking multiple, if not all the advanced classes had begun to bite you in the ass. Not even Kita Shinsuke could preserve brain cells for you to borrow during exam season.

“Ugh!” You pushed him away, yet again. Atsumu Miya, the supposed best friend of your nightmares. After he had, sneakily, wrapped an arm over your shoulders you rolled your eyes and removed his arm. “As if.” You muttered. Atsumu trailing after you, as you tried to get to class on time.

“C’mon, you know you want me.” He turned around and started to walk backwards, occasionally turning his head to make sure he wouldn’t fall over. His eyes dead set on trying to meet yours. Teasing like that was typical for him, but his claims were usually not unfounded. A skilled athlete that actually had the ability to back up everything he said was rare but not impossible. If he said he was able to throw anyone a toss, then he could. If he said you wanted him, then that was a very good inclination that you actually indeed wanted him.

“If I wanted a disease, then I would go to the nurse’s office.” Tugging the collar of your yellow cardigan, you adjusted your clothing, seeing as the motions of pushing him away messed up the organized demeanor you tried to display.

“Y/n, honestly, when are ya gonna ease up? High school is supposed to be fun. And you’re just sucking the life out of it, never mind, you don’t suck do you?” He chuckles to himself at the lewd joke. Sighing, and rubbing the spot in-between your eyebrows, you tried to move away from him by turning a corner. Atsumu, bumped into a pillar, whereas you had walked around it. He had become unbearable as of late. Right when exam season was coming up as well.

You wish you could go back to the hike, the same hike where you let down your focus and just relaxed into his presence. But now, his presence was just a distraction keeping you from studying. If you wanted to go to a good college, it would take more than a couple of good grades, you needed to excel. You weren't brilliantly talented like Atsumu to ride on by with the volleyball skills to get prematurely signed to a big name team.

Atsumu clicked his tongue before going back to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him as the pair of you kept walking down the hallway. You tried to hide your face by using your hand as a fake visor.

“You’re stressed all the time. You hardly even stop by to say hi to Kita anymore. Kita of all people.” Atsumu whined.

He was right though; you had been growing distant from everyone. Retracting your presence from their lives in favor of studying and preparing for exams. Atsumu let go of you, rubbing the back of his neck, looking down to the floor. “Everyone misses you. I miss you. What happened to calling me at four in the morning so we could go to that 24-hour shop to eat those cheap hot fudge sundaes and sit on the roof of my truck?”

“I don’t have time for those kinds of things anymore Atsumu.” You felt a short stabbing pang in your stomach, the cost of ignoring all your friends and hardly even going out of your way to communicate with them anymore.

“You don’t have time to live? I find that hard to believe Y/n.” Atsumu stopped walking, putting both of his hand on your shoulders. “Please come back to everyone. You’re so grounded on earth, that you’re missing out on what everyone is doing floating up in space.”

“Did, did you just try to make an analogy?” You raised an eyebrow before tilting your head to the side.

“Only for you. But, remember, if you say anything no one’s gonna believe you.”

“Atsumu Miya, if you wanted me that badly, going to the extent of even trying to improve your intellectual prowess, you could have just asked me on a date.” You pressed a short kiss to his cheek. Before patting the side of his face and walking into class. You did like him. Not that you would ever confess first.

From outside the room, you could hear him call out to you before a teacher scolded him. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do for the past two years Y/n!”

Maybe you could make some time for him after all.

[dickmedowndc]

Future Promises - Bart Allen x Bat!Reader

Word Count: 1,405

Summary: You could plan and follow through with a multi-month mission, undercover, while still coordinating with all your other team members. You had been in life and death situations more than you could count. You had once told Batman to go fuck himself in front of the League and not even flinched! And yet the idea of walking down that aisle the next day had your stomach dropping. You wanted to marry Bart; you were more than ready to do so. The idea had been to follow the tradition of separating and limiting communication of the soon-to-be newlyweds the night before. But tradition could choke for all you cared – you needed to call Bart before you ended up sick.

Notes: Requested by @ adoringnef (Wattpad). 

<< Part I <Part II

…★…

It had been a year and a half since Bart had proposed to you, maybe a longer, but he had been nothing but patient in the planning, or quick to cover something when it seemed to be going astray. Money had not been an issue this time – you would have swiped one of Bruce’s cards regardless, but the man had already agreed to pay for what you needed. Not to say the two of you were not funding parts on your own as well, but the extra money had been an aid in securing a more private venue outside of Gotham and Central. 

Otherwise, things had fallen into order easily – but it helped when you had strings to pull. 

That did not, however, stop the pit in your stomach from growing into a cavern as your anxieties worsened. You were ready to marry Bart Allen, there was no doubt about that in your mind. But you would be just as ready to drag him off and get eloped, because it was the thought of walking down that aisle, all the things that could go wrong so easily, that was what terrified you. 

A world ending event, tripping over your own feet on the stand, someone getting food poisoning at your wedding. 

Everything made worse by the fact that you did not have Bart next to you. 

The parties and the events leading up to the big day had been fun, but they had kept you busy, and less and less the pair of you had been able to be with one another. This proved especially true as you both zipped around your respective cities to try and clean up as many messes and ragged criminals that remained determined to ruin things for the two of you without even knowing. Either way, it had been never ending it seemed. 

Though Bart had shown it far less, you knew it was wearing on him as well. If he started spiraling you might too, so he was right alongside you, powering through the worst of it and taking his time with you where he could get it. 

Until tonight. 

The night before your wedding, while everything was done with for a few hours. Everything was as quiet as you could get it. But it felt like the silence was eating at your insides with the empty bedspace next to you. Those same anxieties that had started plaguing you days ago only grew louder with nobody but yourself to quiet them out. And as much as you loved your friends and team, there was one individual better than any other to help. 

Tradition be damned, you would see your fiancé. 

Rolling out of bed, you stumble across the room in the dark looking for where you had set your phone a bit further from yourself earlier in the evening. You find it when you bang your knee against the stand and the screen lights up. Using the phone screen’s light to guide you, you make your way back to the bed and under the covers, wrapped up in a duvet cocoon. 

It takes no time at all before you’re ringing Bart, his contact already in your favorites, right at the very top. 

It rings three times, and you’re beginning to think this is a bad idea, because your speedster needs his sleep for tomorrow as well. It doesn’t seem fair to try calling so late, but stopping now just means questions in the morning and possibly upsetting him when you don’t try – so it is too late now. 

On the fourth ring Bart picks up the phone with a groggy hello. “Baby bat?” 

You open your mouth but find you cannot will the words out the way you want to. Nothing but dead silence comes from your end, and you can hear shuffling, assuming Bart is beginning to properly wake up in response to your odd behavior. And they are odd, there are few times you’re at a true loss for words, so it has his attention now. 

The line goes dead for a moment, and you pull your phone back from your ear in surprise, looking at the ended call. Only for someone to take it from your hands a moment later as a gust of wind blows in after him. 

“You look tired, have you slept?” 

You rub your hand over your eyes, trying to knock the sleep from them as you shake your head and give a muttered no. 

“Come here,” he urges, slipping under the covers next to you and wrapping his arms tight around you. “Is it about the wedding?” 

You think for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to explain. “I’m ready to marry you. It’s just with everything that’s been going on I’ve barely seen you or had a moment to relax, just me or us. It’s just been a lot, you know?” Your hand goes up in the air as your frustrations bubble upwards. “And I just needed to see you. I hate sleeping without you next to me.” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I thought you wanted to do this part though? The whole night before thing.” 

“I thought so, and maybe if we had been able to see each other more before I would be fine? But this just fucking sucks right now.” You hiss the words out, letting your head fall onto his shoulder as you curl into him tightly. 

“Good, because I’m not a huge fan of it either.” he drags the both of you down as he flops onto the pillows, pulling the covers up snuggly around of your bodies. 

For a moment you readjust, stretching out but staying wrapped around him like velcro. “You’re not?” 

“No way – I'd rather be right here next to you too. I fell asleep eventually, I guess, but I kept waking up anyways. I wanted to text you, but I didn’t want to wake you up if you had already gone to sleep.” He kisses the top of your head where you are now tucked under his chin. Bart keeps his hold on you with just as much enthusiasm, keeping his arms wrapped securely around your waist. “They might freak out in the morning though; I know they were going to try to pour water on me before my alarm.” 

“Whose idea was that?” you mumble out, already finding sleep is beginning to come easy to you as your anxieties lessen. Bart’s voice is a lullaby, and he makes the perfect pillow as you listen to his heartbeat right under your ear. 

“I think it was a group brainstorm or something. Their loss, I get to wake up to you instead.” 

You can hear the grin in his voice when he next speaks. 

“Besides, I already set my alarm early so I would be ready for them.” 

“Let them panic for a little bit, they’ll check here next anyways.” you open your eyes for a moment to look up at him. “Probably, at least.” 

“You’re the only person that gets to prank me tomorrow. Like shoving cake in my face.” 

“I’m not shoving cake in your face, don’t worry.” 

“But you could, and I would be fine with that, just so you know.” 

You snort at his antics, but find your head is too heavy to shake at him and you won’t jeopardize your positions. “You just want cake in your mouth faster if you can get it.” 

“You’re not wrong, plus we have to share with everyone.” 

“We can get more cupcakes or something after the wedding if you still want them,” you promise, tapping at his chest lightly where your hand rests on him. 

Bart hums at that and you can feel his own heartbeat slowing, breath evening out. 

“Thank you for coming.” you whisper, receiving a squeeze in response that has you humming. 

“There is nowhere I’d rather be. Except maybe at our wedding alter when we wake up so I can kiss you.” 

“And I can finally start calling you my husband. I love you.” You say, yawning before tucking your face against him. He says something but the words are too fuzzy and you’re too tired surrounded by his warmth to stay awake any longer. Maybe you’ll get butterflies tomorrow, but that dread about something going wrong is gone, knowing Bart will be there right beside you if you need it.

[me-elo1111]

Unfortunate Circumstances (Keith x GN reader)

A/N: judging by how well this post does I’ll try and write more, if you have requests send them in I’ll write for all characters 🤍 and ships (klance nation I see you dw please give me something to write with those two) my friend asked for an x reader so this is what we’re doing first. reader is gender neutral in this one because everyone should feel included ofc!

__________________

Needless to say… you were stuck. Not even just stuck you were trapped with someone you could never in a million years be compatible with.

Keith Kogane, paladin of the red lion.

And a deranged smartass who ALWAYS had to be right about something… no matter what situation, if you were with Keith, it was his word against yours. And being the leader of Voltron it was almost always his word. Funny thing about it though he’d never act so rude and stand off ish to anybody else in the group… it was just you…

On a normal day you could definitely conquer this man’s attitude but this was in fact not a normal day. You were supposed to be relaxing after weeks of fighting and working against the galra but the universe had different plans. Very different plans..

“It’s just a small mission, just gather some samples for Coran and then you’ll be out in a few moments.” You remember Allura reassured you, patting your shoulder.

You gave a very hesitant smile, and continued to stride forward to the red lions hanger. Better to get this done and over with.

How silly you were to have hope for once…

“It was one simple task! How did you mess up THAT bad!?” You yelled into Keith’s ear.

You were both sitting in the red lions cockpit, Keith in the main seat and you leaning against the inner console next to him.

“In my defense I didn’t SEE that ship there!” He groaned, head in his hands.

He felt embarrassed. Not about the fact that he messed up on a mission, but about the fact that he messed up on a mission in front of you. And looking at your tense figure with your arms crossed and a sour look on your face just made it so much worse.

You wouldn’t ever know in advance, but he held you in way high regards. So much so that he found himself not being able to even have a normal conversation with you. Not like communication was his strong suit anyways. But it was a lot more worse with someone like yourself. He never could key in on the moment he started having romantic feelings for you. Sure the thought would creep up into his brain but he would just shove it away to be unheard of again. Because why would someone like you like someone like him? It never made sense in his brain. So he made it his mission to drive you away so you wouldn’t notice how much of a mess he is… But in doing so it wounded you guys here. Red was down trying to charge itself, and here you were yelling at him while he wallowed in his own pity.

“Well Keith where do we go from here?” You asked the pilot, who looked at you with something similar to… shame? Embarrassment? Yeah, something like that…

“the team knows where we are, it’s only a matter of time before they come for us. But until then, I guess we just sit tight and wait..” he trailed off, trying his best to avoid unnecessary eye contact with you.

“Whatever. At least it was you messing up this time instead of me.” You shrugged.

“Now I won’t have to get yelled at more than I have to.”

He straightened in his seat. And looked over.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused.” You muttered.

“No what did you mean by that? Who yells at you?” You sat in disbelief before giving him a slight look.

He seemed to get the message pretty fast and quickly looked away from you.

“Look- I’m sorry.”

You looked at him… “go on.”

“I don’t mean to take it out on you I just uh.. I just worry about you… is all.” You could see his face turn slightly red as he shielded it from your vision while you stared at him.

KEITH worries about YOU.

Well this surely was not on your bingo card this year. In a way it makes you feel sort of light inside, since now you can push all those intrusive thoughts about him hating you away… but also- KEITH WORRIES ABOUT YOU- and you’re being a dick by yelling at him for getting you two into this mess. You sighed as you started to walk out of the cockpit to exit the lion. Seeing this Keith scrambled out of his chair, running after you with a slight bit of worry.

“Wait where are you going?” He asked as he caught up to you.

The hanger door opened and you both exited the lion, you paused for a moment as your nose inhaled a new scent. One that you were definitely not used to.

You looked at him as you both stepped out, the coolness in the wind hitting you like ice as it blows through your hair.

“We need to talk Keith…”

_______________________

A/N: I got mixed feelings about this. But I just wanted to Drabble before I got serious about writing this into a whole parted story💀 anyways let me know babes JEN JEN OUT 🫡

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 18

oh no depending on what exactly the Angel’s motivations and allegiances are this conversation between her and Camilla could go very differently. and oooh i don’t know if its mentioned before but is Cam wearing her sunglasses in this scene, because i wonder if Cam tripping into the Angel is actually Palamedes doing his whole psychometry thing 

and it is Palamedes!! whaaat the fuck is he doing talking to Angel about necromancy, i really hope he has some kind of plan right now

and also something strange is up with Noodle, is he like trained to detect necromancers or something? i really hope Noodle doesn’t start hating Nona at some point, that would be horrifically sad 

and there’s some discussion of a mysterious implant that the Angel has in her body, one that Palamedes is very invested in knowing about … no clue whats going on there. some kind of BoE military information maybe??

i’m very glad that Palamedes is acknowledging that Nona is perfectly capable of making her own decisions here 

‘you became my enemy in the last five minutes’ and now this situation just went from bad to worse, of everything i thought that these guys had to worry about it wasn’t Nona’s school-teacher throwing hands with them

ohhh fuck Nona’s whole ‘popping’ bad headache is her getting shot in the head, isn’t it

and all that mentioned inter-organisational conflict within BoE is finally rearing its head. ngl i think i understand whats going on with the protocol and internal conflicts of BoE even less than i did the necromancy in GtN. and apparently no-one in BoE can communicate, given they had no idea that an integral part of their Lyctor project was being taught by another very important member of their organisation. also a very small detail, but confirmation that the Building is actually some kind of BoE safe house 

and thank god that Cam and Pal also aren’t actually dead, this chapter is giving me a fucking heart attack

oh damn i was not expecting someone with the name ‘Our Lady of the Passion’ to look cool

omfg i cannot believe that BoE thought that Nona’s truly terrible pretend radio call was real

also i totally forgot Hot Sauce basically disappeared after Nona got shot. either she’s dead or she’s got to have realised about Nona, and i don’t know which one is going to hurt more 

‘Nona vaguely made a note to practise scowling, and also dye her hair’ focusing on women they’re attracted to in the worse possible situations, Nona your inner Gideon is showing. also in the vein of every teenagers existential crisis, Nona wants to change up her hair 

Nona going to find Hot Sauce through the building, and them just holding eachother through the gunfire, is probably the tensest/most horror-like passage i think there’s been since GtN. 

and the worrying description of Hot Sauce drawing her gun seems to be coming very soon. there’s really a lot of emphasis on it in this passage, and i have a bad feeling Hot Sauce is going to shoot Nona 

‘Nona was sorry for the bean experiment’ rip the bean experiments, we hardly knew ye 

and there it is, Hot Sauce shooting Nona dead in the temple. poor Nona’s getting shot an awful lot today. even though Nona’s obviously going to be okay physically, on an emotional level i really don’t think their relationship can come back from this

[anamericangirl]

I am fully on Israel and the Jews side during this war; but omg some of the hardcore Jewish leftists. I want to say I feel frustrated but I actually feel so bad for them. I saw a post where a christian girl was expression how stupid and evil she found Christians being antisemitic, and the post got full of people saying stuff like “but christianity is inherently antisemitic! It’s built into the very fabric ! It and you are always going to be antisemitic!” Like saying that on a post where someone is literally condemning hatred in their own community is ????? The whole “I have decided you are a bigot and can never stop being a bigot” talking point has always been one of my least favorites. And the posts I’ve seen where leftists Jews are expressing how terrible it is that Jews are now being seen as white, and they acknowledge that it’s being used to excuse any and all hatred towards them, and how they need to get people to realize they are a middle easter group. Which yes, you guys aren’t white, you are middle easterners; but shouldn’t this be making some of ya’ll question the whole notion on the left that white=bad and that’s it’s not okay to categorize different people in that way? It’s just sad to see so many of them going through the utter betrayal they have but are still clinging to the super left way of thinking and just seem totally lost. And I’m not even saying to go right; but to at least acknowledge that maybe the whole black and white “white straight Christian American=Bad Everyone Else=good” rhetoric was always going to go bad for anyone who peddled it? It happened to Asians too in recent years. And I’m absolutely not trying to say this is a Jewish thing, just a far leftist thing, because I can remember all the Jews (and Asians, and Latinos, etc,) who were really trying to sound the alarm that once they lost their place on the oppression hierarchy, a lot of these far leftists treat the minority groups they used to champion even worse than how they treat white people. I don’t know. I just feel sick to my stomach seeing all these people feel so heartbroken and betrayed by what they considered their close friends and community. I just wish this didn’t have to happen to them this way.

It really is sad watching it happen. It should be a lesson to them of the dangers of playing so hard into identity politics. It's an inherently bad way of approaching situations and they approach every situation that way. Wars are a little more complex than this skin color = good and that skin color = bad but they've let their brains get so damaged by that way of thinking over the years that they're really going to have to put in the work to change and I just don't see that happening.

It's such a shame.