#tw implied suicidal tendencies | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yohohonabottle · 1 month ago

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Clown's reminiscing & Bear's 'sin' (that outed half of the guests' present.)

The song that inspired it, lyrics got altered to match better.

TW: Description of mild game-cannon violence, mentions of death threat & implied/referenced suicidal tendencies.

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Everyone was gathered in the Mystical house, the Magister Merlin having sent the invites and thrown this grand party. ...Everyone, but a certain wandering spirit. And tonight, on this wintery celebration evening, she held up a friendly Century Quest & Card duel competition- The prize being something simple. A patch.

Everyone knew that should the Incarnated spirit have been present, and took part--He would've won. Not even trying, just having fun and enjoying the friendly-fire rounds or 'spars' with people.. Regardless of who's who and what, stranger, enemy, friend or more. In the end, Thoran somehow won. And the Graveborns, aside from Earl Ludovic, didn't care about this small detail. Nor did the Hypogeans, other Maulers who managed to make it here. Half the guests didn't really care, half were not too approving of how...selective the party and competition feels. And the other half were only bit puzzled as to why the 'Magister' wasn't invited but figured he's probably busy or chose to be by himself tonight. Watching the Bantus king smugly claim the Ironjaw patch, Soren frowns. This just isn't right. Getting up from his seat at the table, his steps thump on the lounge's wooden floor. The memories of old adventures hold a burning, putrid sting-- A scalding, acid-like and drowning guilt still haunting his conscious and conscience to this day. It'll plague him 'til the end of his days. Rightly so.

—"Merlin, nothing personal but Pirin Hestios should've won the patch tonight." Sweeping a disdainful eye over the faces of the two nobles, king and pirate, the warrior's gloomy glare turns to Merlin. "And you people are crazy for not realizing that." Hodgkin scoffs with an amused snort from his seat at another table in the tavern.

"Why would we give that Rat the Patch, eh? So he could use it as a blanket?" Valen, Lorsan, Alsa and Eironn wince. Sinbad and Lyca scowl. Sonja and Lucca keep their mouth shut, but the edge of varying discontent tinging their masks of stoically dutiful neutrality is enough clue. Soren's ears pin back in annoyance as hearty laughter booms from some of the guests, Merlin included.

"That's the reaction I thought I'd get." A flicker of an idea lights up Lorsan's eyes at recalling a silly 'exercise' Pirin once did with Eironn. The aim was to help the Stormsword express better his emotions, or at least get more comfortable with them regardless of their nature. And also lift his spirit, by lifting some of the 'doom and gloom' with putting them through song. A method that the Burning star took to the desert and applied with the young Mauler. Absurd as it seems, felt and likely also is, to a degree, it did help. Taking out his lute, the bard easily comes up with a melody, and strums on the strings with a deft hand.

"Everyone in this room has been associated with Pirin, Either through adventure, the tavern or various odd jobs he does around for free or at most a silver." -The teen's voice is gruff as a buzzard's and gravelly with a small rasp, but darn it he kept pushing on. A few eyebrows were raised in question, some smiled and some rolled their eyes or scoffed. The hare kept on plucking the strings, setting the melody. "And I'm guessing most of you have either laughed in Pirin's face Or ruthlessly made fun of his eyebrows or body, or voice, or temper or shortness when he wasn't looking-" Merlin narrowly flinches, Rhys pulls a face at getting called out, Chippy & Hammie look down guiltily, Sinbad winces and Lenya pretends to play dumb. Lyca throws the catwoman a disbelieving look that quickly flips to sour.

Cecia and Salazer inwardly bristle for a second but show no reaction... Because both know they've done it. Just as Sir Lucius looks away in guilty shame along with Atalanta, Kafra, and Satrana. Hodgkin knew he'd done all of the above and harbors not a drop of remorse or care. Lorsan winces as he carries on playing the guitar, remembering that one time he'd grimaced at the man's 'Graveborn' appearance and cringed at his voice.

Seated at one of the tables with his wife, Niru calmly sweeps his eyes over the other patrons' faces. Notes the reactions. Plenty of guilty fellows tonight, it seems.

Valen tries not to grimace, the memory of how he'd pointed out his love's peculiar eyebrows-- Back when they truly met for the very first time. It wasn't out of mockery and malice...but the fact he'd teased him about it still stands.

"But the next time you'd see him, he'd still go out of his way to smile And wave at you and ask you about your mother's operation or something like that. Because he unlike us actually cares about someone other than himself--" Berial's laughter and gleeful grin dies down, memories resurfacing unwanted.

--------------——-=== - -- --——--- -- - ===-———-------------

For the very first time, the diabolical jester had found himself in a pinch after pranking the Magister--Nothing actually lethal mind you. Same reason as to why his pranks on her stand-in and the people of Esperia, too aren't actually aiming to kill. A nasty scare here, heaping misfortunes and or nightmares there, or something completely goofy sans the cruelty and evil.

Dumping a bucket of period blood, tree-sap and rotten seaweed (Because that's what came to his mind as funny) he'd conjured up, the nasty little fiend then cackled merrily. Oh the Magister's horrified yell of being startled and the disgusted grimace she had pulled were priceless. The two pip-squeaks cries of alarm, the horror on their chubby gorged cheeks and frantic fussing--It made it five times funnier! Well the Arch-mage's wrath that followed right after in retaliation wasn't fun. Bloody Mary proceeded to 'prank' back with a mean bite--Casting a spell to not only nail his body with Dura's oh so holly sword...But instead of sealing him and finishing the deal, Merlin worked on purifying and extracting magic straight out his core.

How it burnt, how it burnt! It was like being boiled, grilled and burned alive all in one! "It was just a prank! What're you draining me for?! I didn't even try to hurt you this time! At all! OW-!" --He'd wailed, almost beginning to regret his prank. And suddenly Pirin's 'curse' was a far, far more pleasant experience to go through again.

Being a nobody and feeling phantasmal-ly powerless in a nightmare is much more favorable, better, than actually being truly dead. Hell! Being turned to stone, or a mortal and chucked at the Order would work too! Just not total, real death and erasure of existing!

...And then the nail was removed, a compassionate Blazing star having warily approached after Merlin has long left. Hollowed eyes with diminished glow feebly lift to gaze at his 'nemesis.' That day, Berial honestly expected to be finished off, be met with more ire. Certainly wouldn't have blamed the man for it, considering the time his pranks on him crossed the line and also the troubles he'd caused, being a perfect doppelgänger.

But no. No torment or wrath came. The spirit squandered the chance to kill him off for good instead. Weaving a small spell, pulling at the threads of neutral-aligned and free-flowing magic; tainting it with dark emotions, intents lingering from a past life's grief-borne bloodlust, memories vicious-- The tar-like oozing flame orb was held out to him. Squinting up at the lost descendant with nothing but immense confusion, the slowly-withering Hypogean stares for a long moment. There are no expectations in those mirror-like eyes, nor hope for reward, no desire for favors and deals.

".....Why?" Why're you helping me? Why aren't you hurting or trying to finish me off for good? The answer the 'idiot', or maybe Pirin really was an idiot, gave in turn to his weak rasp, was even more baffling. But the serene sincerity of simple conviction was unmistakable. Like a slap.

—"Only good can't exist, not without its counterpart. You have your own place in the scheme, though hard to grasp by many." The jester scoffs, forcing on a pitiful attempt to grin like usual..but it crumbles to dust. While trying and failing to make sense of this strange, funny, 'naïve' blockhead.

—"Not what I asked. What? You want a deal? Power, glory, endless gold, adoration? Name your wish, and I'll grant it.~" The refute was like a cold slash of a blade.

—"Just take it. If you insist on doing me a favor," His discarded top-hat is picked up from the ground, the orb placed bit harshly into his palms. Dusting the hat off, the gloved hand places it back onto the inky head, the demon blinking down at the ball of potent abyss. Then blinks up, a sense of....something stirring somewhere in his black core. Respect, partially begrudging from last time.. and also sincere.

"then a simple 'thank you' will do. Or a smile, if that's too pricey." On eye-level, that ember of kindness coloring the magister's light smile as it does his eyes. Too pricey?? Excuse you???

"Thank you."

For once, the clown's grin isn't malign nor sneering. Gobbling up the orb without needing to be told twice, instantly returning to his normal lively self. It was delicious! No longer on Death's door, sockets and wide grin now back to their vibrant glow and ashen features wrought with life once more-- But he makes no move to attack. Or prank.

How can you be so genuinely selfless like a saint?

—"Seriously though—Why did you help me? You could've left me to die and everyone would thank you for it, you know?" I'm a Hypogean, the literal embodiment of evil. You know my track-record. You could get hurt. I could kill you at any moment, and those you hold dearly. I know. —"I don't want anyone to suffer in the ways I have." Not anymore. I did, once, took the lives of many in my blind rage. Brutally so, without remorse or guilt, drawing and dragging out their agony-- The instigators, the perpetrators, the accomplices...and along with them, the innocent, too, got in the line of slaughter. In my grief, revenge, I couldn't, didn't, distinguish nor cared to. I wanted nothing more, but to make the world suffer -Pay for it. I was no better, than those that called and inflicted the genocide of my kin. Not the first time I've been a sadistic monster either-- Same rage and pettiness, same cause of it, just a different world. (In a different lifecycle two prior.)

I'm still paying the price myself. (For my own senseless evils.)

----------———-—=== -- --——--- -- ===—-———------------ "The reason I bring this up to you Is because I... was the worst offender, of all." --Lorsan masterfully glides a hand over the strings. What he hears next, stirs up confused anger and shocked disbelief, the way the teenager outs himself. His mistreatment towards the vampire they'd come to call a 'nightingale', 'little finch' or 'lark'. It was in the early days of his adventures with the Magister, yes, but still doesn't make it okay!

"My life was simply going nowhere, Then a tiny, little man, rushed to my side. He should've gotten a big thank you, Instead he got a quicksand-dunking ride."

Some of the Graveborns laugh, pleased at the revelation. With the mental imagery of their pesky, meddling, enemy's abuse in the past.

Ludovic's hold on the branch of delicate flowers ever so subtly tightens for a second. Subdued, reserve and strongly disapproving anger flashing in the young boy's melancholic eyes. Like last time, when Merlin had beat up the felled star, beautiful white lilies were left on Pirin's nightstand.

The only thing to soothe away his pains of heart and mind, the nightmares, besides his Jolly sailor and loyal Knight.

Tonight, the 'Magister' would likely find himself another branch of those lovely blooms. Or in a patch of them. An eternal sufferer, in a way... and also a mere sincere gift from a friend. A gesture of kindness to keep the warm, kind bleeding heart from growing cold. A quiet way to say, remind the man there's someone(s) out there, who care.

"I was such a shithead. But he never quit on me, 'Til I told him he was useless,...and should go take his own life.." Shock flashes in the young lord's stern, saddened, pale green irises- Shaking out the melancholy and composure. Covering his mouth with a hand, other hand gripping the flowers even tighter.

The immense, crushing shame and guilt in the Mauler's voice aren't lost on him, ringing clearly in his voice with deep remorse. But the spark of fiery fury that flares in the young noble's dead heart is there. Lorsan very narrowly stops playing his guitar, jaw drop on the ground. Valen's eyebrows shoot to his hairline, Sinbad's face darkens and Lyca gapes at the warrior, just as his sister does.

How did Pirin not lash out...? Beat the ever-loving lights out of this punk? ...Why did he take the blows? Berial remains draped on his seat at his own table, already knowing what happened next. The sweet little thing held himself back from pummeling the whelp, knowing all too well what his own anger looks like. And didn't wish to inflict it. Instead he simply smiled instead, hurt, but smiled anyway. Forgave Bear-boy for the wrongdoings, and moved on like nothing happened. 'I don't want anyone to suffer' (In the ways I have.)

"I snapped at Soren more severely, once. After he crossed a line. I haven't gotten so angry, in a long while.. Not like this. Couldn't hold back-- In a blink he was on the ground, and I just...kept clawing and punching at him like a straw dummy, anywhere I could strike." --A pained 'Magister' laments devastated, fur sprouted along his neck and arms. And the Joker quietly listened to Batman's confession of 'sin', slight against the young former Grimmaw orphan he'd recently become foster father to. How he'd pelted the fighter with a flurry of vicious strikes, giving the brat two nice black-eyes, a crooked nose, nicked ears and plenty of nasty bruises.. and a dislocated shoulder from almost twisting his furry arm.

Blinded by anger. Just like in his old days.

"...I could've taken his life, only barely managed to stop myself. Had to force myself to flee, go to my dorm at the Mystical House and turn it to an arena, let my anger there. Better than him or anyone else getting the brunt of it." --The distraught spirit uttered in a shaky rasp, almost a choked quiet sob. Horrified with himself.

"I almost killed him, Berial! I-" How did a prank of dropping a bucket of blood-looking juice lead to this moment? The Hypogean had no clue, but kept his mouth shut. For once in his entire life. I'm a monster. I really am like the Temple says-- So he'd placed an inky hand firmly on the boney shoulder, stopping the train right there.

"No." Stop with that nonsense. What monster cares, and so much? Runs away before it could do harm? None, that's what. How in the Abyss did we become frenemies? No idea. Can't complain, keeps things interesting with these twists. 'Sides, even villains got downtime, no?

That day, the performer put up a show--Simple and comically flashy, without horrors, mockery or gore. ...Okay fine, he snuck in a literal eye in one of the tricks as a punchline and pulled out dead doves out his hat then revived them, and made the birds disintegrate into regular confetti. Just to cheer this one 'idiot' of a 'magister'. Hypogeans can't feel actual love you see, or care in the typical constraints of mortal understanding and their rigid, dull morality lofty ideals.

More like... Favor. Have interest in someone or something, and in turn keep it safe. Can't have that person or thing go 'poof' in any way, can we now? It wouldn't do. In a way, to a degree, it can be called 'care'. ----------———-—=== -- --——--- -- ===—-———------------ Somehow pulled into the spirit of confessing 'sins' in song, Sir Lucius takes the turn to sing next. Outing himself, right as Soren sits down back in his seat, ears drooping in remorseful shame.

"Once when we were watching Sunday spectacle in the Gala square, A fuzzy movement was all that we could see." The image comes back, a gloomy day in Holistone and how Father David sent for Pirin. The ghostly-pale man had earned himself the reputation of being a reliable hand, outside of his duty as Merlin. That Father knew, and the music was playing, a spectacle in Dura's name to honor her, the Archons and Heroes of the Immortal war.

A way to draw youth back to morality and tradition, to spread the good will and sacred words. And perhaps also incite interest in them for the Temple, for the Divine and for Faith. The lights had abruptly given out and needed to be fixed, newly-acquired technology from Alkali. Poor man, a diligent jack of all trades, worked on fixing the blasted stage lights in the background whilst the show continued.

"Pirin came over with a toolkit-- And spent the spectacle on top of the theater grids.. And when the lightning struck him, He let out a wicked loud yell. .

But we just turned up the volume, And ignored, covered up the burning smell-- we should all rot in hell!" It was horrible, going up to the rafters after the performance... only to find a charred body, miraculously alive. But unconscious. That day he'd grabbed the man, and tore through town-- ran straight to the doctor's office, cutting the queue of patients and frantically explained the situation through prayers and pleads for help.

After that he'd taken the 'mercenary' to Valen's home with all the medicaments needed (that Lucius bought with his own money) in tow. Valen looked scared and distraught at the sight, then gave an angry earful "What were you and the Temple thinking?!" "The weather was clear today, until the projectors gave out near the spectacle's end...Father called for Pirin to repair them.." "What?! Ohh greeat, go tell Father to be more mindful- And carefully check the weather forecast when planning events! You've put not only Pirin's but also the citizens' safety at risk! People could've gotten seriously hurt!" Covering his face with an armored hand and bowing his head, Lucius closes his eyes, mumbling under his breath. "Dura above, please forgive our sins..." The blond Templar knight's eyes blink open, head snapping up when Archon Talene softly rises from her seat, hand on her heart. And divine features pinched into a guilty, ashamed look.

"I went to high Pantheon with Pirin, in a previous cycle of his.... As a joke I told him to meet me at the banquet, needing a cavalier.. When he got there I said, ''I can't believe you thought I was serious.''"

Dionel and the Hypogeans look up at the firebird, Harak with a mouthful of fish and chicken, blinking up in confused surprise. Some of the bones stick out his maw; Berial blinks, then grins half in sneering amusement at one of those pomps having dirty laundry (not surprising, ask Dionel but the perpetually drunk sloth won't tell you. And suavely divert your attention elsewhere, like pulling a rug right from under your feet oh so smoothly). Phraesto and Reinier couldn't care less. Scarlita stays silent as usual, hands rested atop the handle of her battle-axe, remembering the scene all too well.

"So he ran home crying because of my deceit and slow-danced with his mom." Worst part is the Blazing star only agreed to begin with, was not because he had romantic feelings towards Talene--But because the child simply wanted to help. Along with bearing curiosity as to what the gods' victory feast and celebratory ceremony is like.

The Dusklord's young familiar had been transferred over to Talene after the war-god met his end. Just as the god of the waves relinquished his own familiar to Misarte shortly prior to dying himself-- *rrEEeep-lu lu lu lu* Hestopeous (Jaallanne - Diinqan -Hestios), the mother, child of a family in the Eclipse lineage. Upon being given to Misarte, she took on the name Larra in place of Jaallanne.

And the boy's father, whom the god of war chose as his familiar first (before taking fancy to Pirin and taking the child under his wing as 'familiar in training')-- *Thwack-Clanck* Hestopeous, child of a Crimsonfang bloodline family (Ekchauh - Hunahpu-Hestios) was given to Dulingr.

"What a crushing blow to Pirin. Bet you wish you could take it back." -The rowdy hustler joins the song, chastising and accusing himself of the exact same, as much as he's discontent with Talene's antics.

"How could you all be so mean to Pirin? Sound to me like you're all on crack!" -Rhys crows from another nearby table, leaning back on his terrabird. Doesn't have the smallest clue what all these 'confessions' are about or why people are doing it in song out of the blue, but still pipes up anyways. Harak blissfully goes back to wolfing down his own large portion of yummy food, keeping a curious ear on his surroundings.

It was strange to him, why the mage kept switching scents.

Sweet, very sugary and fruity, almond-like one moment-- Then this funny weak earthy and floral scent with different trees in there. And the attitude jumped back and forth too! It was only when two Merlins stood side by side (he was caught in the bottle he'd smashed in his feasting), that the strange smell and personality-flip finally made sense. It's TWO mages, one of cold and one of fruity!

And then he'd been woken up, recruited and placed onto a team. All but dropped in the cold Merlin's hands by the sugary one. With a harness and a leash-- Sugary mage's idea. ("Merlin, what am I supposed to do with him..?"

"Eh I dunno, train Harak to behave or something.?"

"....Merlin, this is a shark we're talking about. Not a dog or a dolphin." "Well actually, sharks can be trained! I red it in a book on aquatic life yesterday!" "Merlin!" D:<<) Cold Merlin--Pirin-- Was very annoyed. Then turned to glare at Harak, like he was the problem!

"You. You better behave yourself, ya hear?" -Hissed with narrowed eyes, jabbing a clawed finger at his chest. Disgruntled. "Or so help me, I will kick your fish ass AND Merlin's, I don't care how strong you are!" Harak only blinked down at angry mage, confused and amused. And that's how Harak was kept on the team! Annoyed Merlin is nice though, tosses tasty fish to Harak.. (And Harak behaves nicely, a good boy to get yummy food. Annoyed Merlin's dreams taste nasty though, reeealllly bitter and rotten, and like octopus ink! And stink of smoke! Nasty dreams!)

"Tonight Pirin was counting on this team, To show that we care,

But the first time he really needed us, we weren't there." - The shark Hypogean looks up at the blue-dressed girl with white short hair. Tilting his head, still puzzled what this song is about and what it's got to do with the Annoyed Merlin. By now the two Graveborn nobles have left.

"It is just not fair." -Dulingr at last joins the song, adding to the music- Dionel takes the turn to sing next. Comes up with a very absurd chorus, the other more singing-inclined guests both sober and drunk join in too. Valen and Ludovic quietly get up from their seats after exchanging a look, silently agreeing to go see the missing guest. Not before catching Rhys crow "I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong hand", throwing Hodgkin a grin. Some cringe--Valen included, the young earl wincing internally both at the vulgar language and question itself. Others laugh. The ''Strongest captain in the world ever'' glares at the red-head Mauler with a scandalized and seething snarl, eyebrows set into a very deep frown. What stupid question is this?!?

"OI! Watch it Furball! I'll turn you into a damn coat!" (yes) Harak laughs as well, his croaking raspy laugh echoing all around the lounge. ...And then his eye catch on the two figures sauntering to the exit, fish dangling out of his mouth that he just stuffed in. Where is Cold Merlin's mate going?

Getting up, snatching handful of tasty meat from the plate (which was Lorsan's because he had already scarfed his own food. Also Bunny man hasn't touched the food. So Harak took it, bunnies don't eat tasty meat anyway.), the spiny shark Hypogean slinks after the two. His tail grabs a nearby jar with a heart (Niru's collection, the doctor's attention away) along the way. ----------———-—=== - -- --——--- - -- - ===—-———------------

. No hair or hide of the fake, faction chameleon. Where could he have possibly gone? Not in town at any rate, nor Ryeham. Looking around with a scowl tainting his boyishly dazzling face, Valen exhales a dejected sigh. At this point, the Mystical House is a permanent no-go when searching for the ghost. And why wouldn't it be?

I wouldn't go there or be near Merlin unless necessary. Even then I wouldn't stick around, or anything related to the Magister. It's really a shame she spiraled so terribly, got lost in 'madness'. Does Hogan know? The general will be...devastated, if he were to learn Merlin no longer cares about anything, anyone, other than himself. Him included. The grass crunches softly under their feet, the silence interrupted by the sounds of that Hyposhark gnawing on ribs.

Is this why the Magister summoned Pirin and placed the journey onto his shoulders to bear? Because he's from the Eclipse, a lineage of clear-cut rationality and clarity of mind? The Pallid covenants were known as the most mildly tempered and diplomatic of the bloodlines.

Arbiters and ambassadors, as well as mediators and overseers. Of all colonies, it's them that can swiftly pierce through the haze of deceit, illusion and temptation--Find the raw truth, and reflect it. Unbiased. With these attributes and his longevity, perhaps the night nymph is rather difficult to fall prey for ''The Kings' madness''....

—"Harak?" Clear blue eyes inquisitively settle onto his form. "Can you find Pirin, lead us to him? We've been walking for two hours now and no sight of him yet." It's a gamble, but-

—"Mate worried for Angry Merlin.?" What...? I mean, not that he's wrong, just... Oh nevermind. Good gods, this shark-thing stinks like dead fish and oil!

—"Yes. ...Brown-haired Merlin was very mean to ''Angry Merlin'' last time, hurt him very badly. Still is being mean to him. So ''Angry Merlin'' chooses to stay far away from the brown-haired mage." Chewing on the chicken bones to scrape off the flesh, confusion and displeasure colors the shark's face. A low, unhappy growl rumbling from the Hypogean's chest, eyes narrowing. Letting go of the bone with a 'click' of sharp, pointy teeth.

—"Why very mean?" —"Because jealous Pirin has many people who care and proudly declare his name while he doesn't." A huff. The team ''guard shark-dog'' seeing it as stupid. Which it is. "I can't see him at all, or hear him.. Help us find him. Please?" Another rumbling noise ripples in the shark's throat, not exactly a growl, more of a hum. As if that wee little brain is working to process and piece together things, crunching pensively on the bones caught in his maw.

Sniffing the air, the Hypogean abruptly darts ahead. —"Come! Found Angry Merlin!" Valen needed not be told twice, darting after the hulking form with the young master close behind. This thing's fast! Really fast and nimble! Eventually their path leads to the ruins far past the Altar, past the hut on the riverbank, through the Dark Forest's canopy and....to the foot of the Vaduso Mountains far away from the Wilders villages and settlements.

No civilization. Only this cold, snowy lone and silent mountain. Looking up and sniffing the air, Harak shivers as the cold bites into his hardened skin, head up. And clicks his teeth, making a small noise of mild discomfort, breath coming in a misty puff. But still refuses to back away or leave and flee, lifting a hand--Points to the clouds with a clawed finger.

—"There. Your mate up there....Cold." Squinting up at the fog of clouds swirled around the summit, the knight tries to find his love. Nothing, even with following the direction the fiend is pointing in. The Graveborn noble gazes up at the clouds, frigid winds tussling his hair as well as the knight's. ''Sometimes... people tire me vastly, mostly Merlin and his hamsters. I prefer to hide away, calm down in peace'.'

—"I can't see him... Can you?" —"No. Only smell. Mate is circling." No chance he hasn't heard us. A night nymph's hearing is scarily keen, puts Bryon's to shame. So sharp, that they can hear your every heartbeat, every breath, the flow of blood in your veins, the vibrations of your voice.

Stepping back, Valen draws in a deep breath. Holds it for a second, then lets it out in a long-drawn out, sharp and shrill whistle. The echo answering back as though taunting. Nothing. Another whistle, interspersing it with shorter, lower ones. A 'song'.

''Night nymphs rely heavily on voice and hearing, thus singing and voice becoming prominent in their forming culture. When courting, the suitor 'sings', flexing a wide variety of vocals and tones--Whistles, thrills, chirps, sonar calls and tweets along with clicks. Varying in pitch, tone, frequency and duration. May sometimes include human vocal mimicry, covering both the male and female ranges.' (Although that is most common in Nephylims than vampires.) Through song, one's voice, a bonding or already bonded pair can also locate each other. Each song is unique to each pair.''

One last whistle, low-pitched and drawn out, ending with a mid-drawn out, soft click and a short thrill at the end. Very much akin to a songbird's melody. A name in that sonorous language, foreign to man. And now if you don't at least answer, I'll look like a lunatic. Or like a foo--A shrill, mildly agitated whistling cry calls back with a thrill paired with short clicks of 'clack-clack-clack', or 'k-k-k-k'.

A figure pierces through the haze, swifter than an arrow fired. A long-tailed bat, wings folded at the sides, fur pristinely pale as the snow itself. With a quiet 'thump', the long tailed creature lands before the three of them, the long fur around his neck swayed by the blizzard winds.

For first time, Valen finds his breath entirely stolen away. Majestic. No other word can describe the being standing before his eyes. In this form, Pirin barely reaches to his chest-line, yet still no less mighty. And gorgeous, the regal look to him still not gone.

Suddenly the biting chill doesn't matter, a patch of white lilies blooming under his feet. Carefully approaching, the Solitaire feels his lips upturn into an enamored, awed smile, falling on one knee. Hands lifting, cupping the bat's face.

—"Just as ethereal as in human form.. Here I was, thinking you couldn't get any more regal and majestic. A dragon, in your own way." One of his hands moves over the fur tufts on the critter's cheekbones, gliding over one long ear and lightly scratching behind it; moves down to smooth down the thick, silky collar at the neck. A little coarse and tangled, but soft as cotton candy and finest silk regardless. A low, quiet purr reverberating from the spirit's throat--relaxing, content. Leaning into his touch, eyes closing tiredly.

"...Why did you run so far away, dove?" A huff, a click and a very short low-pitched thrill.

—" 'Needed to return home.' " -The brunet stiffens for a short moment, startled by Ludovic's soft voice. Almost forgot the Earl is still here. Glancing up at the boy, a look of mild surprise sets on Valen's visage, still running a gentle palm through Pirin's fur absently.

—"You can decipher what he's saying?" —"Yes, albeit not quite as precise as Magister Merlin. I fear that my knowledge regarding the Night nymphs' language is.. slightly subpar. I used to have a tome describing their customs and behavior in-depth, however it unfortunately got lost."

—"Far better than mine at any rate. I only know that voice is very important to them, along with weaving and blood. Just made-up the 'song' when calling him."

—"I could attempt to find my tome and lend it to you, if you wish Sir Valen?" The ghost of a happy smile plays on the aristocrat's ashen features. Observing the two of them, peering at Pirin with subdued wonder and humble curiosity. The swordsman's purple eyes light up.

—"Really? Thank you, my lord! ...I mean, if it wouldn't be troublesome. It would mean a lot to me, being able to better understand Pirin." —"It shall be of no trouble to me, rest assured. I shall bring the book to you, once I find it. Furthermore....You may keep the tome. I no longer have use for it. It appears that it shall find better use in your possession rather than gather dust." —"..My lord-" But it seems Earl Ludovic has already made up his mind. "We should return to Golden Wheatshire, probably. Harak already left to go back to the Dream Isles." A jar with a heart inside sits on the ground where the Hypogean once stood. Picking up the bat and letting him perch onto his shoulders, curl around his neck like a scarf, the solder rises up to his feet. And the two make their way back to the closest waystone, to teleport back home. Valen's cheery voice fills the quiet along the way, telling stories of past adventures, the young Earl listening intently. Already, many ideas, scenes take shape into his mind's eye-- Of swaying wheat fields and a heroic trio fighting off elementals, a night nymph leaping into the flames to save a family from debris and suffocation; Of a hare Wilder and his friends, their dense rainforest... Of ruins and a battle against a raging, looming golem.

Much to paint, and all the time to perfectly replicate the experiences.

#afk journey #quick post #oc #songfic?#light angst #angst and humor #or attempt at humor through the song #oneshot #comfort #fluff?#afk lyca #afk soren #afk eironn #afk merlin #afk valen #afk berial #afk hodgkin #And other afkj cast members #happy ending

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jungkookslipring · 1 year ago

Text

I Will Never Make You Lonely: CH 3

Summary: When your life is falling apart, your 8 best friends are there to lift you up

TW: mentions of de&th, su!c!de, su!c!de tendencies, su!c!dal ideologies, depress!on, anxiety, crying. If this is in any way triggering I’d steer towards more of my happier works.

If you or someone you love has thought of or acted on suicide, there is help and there is hope

Call or text 988

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, non-idol AU

PSA: this is no way represents the artists. While their birth names are used in this story, this is in no way a reflection of the artist or artists in real life.

AU: mentions of de&th are implied in this chapter, read at your own risk.

Ch 3

A few days later, you were in your room, double-checking to make sure you hadn't forgotten anything important. Minho, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin came in early to bid you farewell and wished you a safe journey. They were sad that they couldn't accompany you as their schedules didn't permit them. Although you weren't going to be away for long, you were eagerly looking forward to your flight back to Seoul. As you packed your last-minute items such as your toothbrush, contact lenses, medication, etc., there was a soft knock at your door.

“Come in,” you answered. Changbin and Han peeked their heads in as the door slowly opened. They didn't have classes till later.

“Hey,” they greeted you with smiles.

“Hi,” you said.

“You all packed up?” Han asked. You nodded.

“Yeah, just packed up the last-minute stuff,” you said pointing to your toiletry bag that sat on top of your backpack. Changbin stepped forward.

“Well before you go, I didn’t want you to leave without this,” he said as he pulled out a squishmallow he had behind his back. It was a large taro boba squishmallow.

“What’s this?” you ask as you stare at it with adoration.

“We know you were talking about getting yourself one. We were going to give it to you on your birthday but decided maybe you needed it more now,” he said with a smile. You slowly accepted the squishmallow and you held it close.

“You guys are amazing, thank you,” you say sincerely, pulling them both into a hug. They would truly do anything to help you feel better. When it was time to leave, you saw Chris walking out of his room with his favorite sweatshirt in hand, ready to give it to you. You folded it and put it in your backpack along with the squishmallow. The boys hugged you goodbye and you left. The ride to the airport was terrible and the flight was worse. While the flight itself was smooth as can be, you couldn't sleep for the 12-hour flight, despite trying everything from listening to music, podcasts, and the ASMR links that Felix sent you, but Chris's sweatshirt and squishmallow provided some comfort. You curled up with them, feeling the scent of Chris's cologne. When you landed at SEATAC, you messaged Peyton and the boys to let them know you made it back.

It's The Spamming For Me

Me: Just landed in SEATAC

They all must’ve had their phones surgically glued to their hands because they all responded immediately.

Father of 7: glad you made it safely!

Cowife: eat and sleep well y/n!

Twin: miss you already!

Disney Prince: sleep well y/n, see you soon

BBG: sending you so many hugs

Angel Baby: you’re already missed!

Minnie Mouse: THE APARTMENT IS CHAOS COME BACK NOW

It's just a Little Guy: we love you y/n

You giggled at their messages as you quickly responded.

Me: I love you all too xoxo

After retrieving your bag, you headed towards the sky bridge that connects to the parking garage. Peyton was already there, waiting for you. Seeing only Peyton pick you up instead of her and Carter made your heart hurt, but you sucked it up and walked quickly over to Peyton. As soon as you were in each other’s arms, you could hear her sniffles, but you stayed strong for her. Peyton was Carter's only legal guardian, so you had to be there for her.

“How was your flight?” she sniffed as she helped you with your backpack. You shrugged.

“Fine, I guess…I didn’t exactly sleep,” you said scratching your neck. As you both walked towards the parking garage, she threw an arm around you. She then threw your backpack into the backseat before starting the engine. The drive to Peyton's place was quiet and uneventful. Once you arrived, you tossed your belongings onto the bed in the spare bedroom. While you were unpacking, Peyton walked in with two glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

“It probably isn’t ideal, but Carter would’ve done it for either of us,” she said with a slight smile. You snorted because yes, Carter would’ve 110% gotten plastered the night before either of their funerals. The two of you made your way to the balcony and plopped yourselves down on the couch. Even though you felt like crap, there was a gentle breeze and at least the stars were out, and the skyline was gorgeous.

“How have you been?” Peyton asked. You shrugged.

“It’s been a rollercoaster for sure,” you said, swirling your glass. Peyton nodded.

“But how about you?” you ask. You had no right to be feeling the way Peyton felt. That’s what you told yourself at least.

“I can’t bring myself to even sit in the living room sometimes,” she says looking down at her glass. You nodded; Carter used to always sleep on the couch when she’d stay the night, claiming it was comfier than Peyton’s bed.

“I’m sure the guys have been there for you?” Peyton asked before sipping her wine. You smiled.

“Yeah, they’ve been nothing but amazing. One night I had been up for almost 72 hours cause I couldn’t sleep and I was studying, but the guys got me to participate in our weekly Friday night movie marathon night, and I ended up getting a decent amount of sleep.” Peyton smiled at that.

“It’s nice having friends like that,” she said genuinely; she was a little concerned though. She could sense you were distracting yourself more than just feeling the emotions. The thought of your boys made your heart sing.

“They’re the best…,” you said before taking a swig of your wine as Peyton watched.

“Damn down the hatch,” she says with a wet chuckle.

You spent the rest of the night with your friend, sharing your favorite memories of Carter. It was a way to remember her, especially the stories you wouldn't dare tell at the funeral. The day of the funeral came around too quickly. You woke up feeling heavy-hearted, wrapped in Chris's hoodie, holding a plush toy close to your chest. It took all your strength to get out of bed and ready for the funeral. You couldn't believe you were preparing to say goodbye to your best friend.

You tried to remain composed for the sake of Carter's family. The funeral went by in a blur, and you were grateful there was no open casket. It helped you stay strong for everyone, but you couldn't help denying the fact that Carter was in that casket, about to be buried six feet under. You tried to push the thought out of your mind, but it kept coming back.

You let your friends know you needed to study at your apartment for a few days, but you'd be back soon. They understood and said you were always welcome to come back. When it was time for you to leave, you said goodbye to Peyton and sent a text to your friends to let them know you were heading home. You knew you couldn't stay in the States any longer without it feeling too real.

It's The Spamming For Me

Me: I’m heading home

Father of 7: have a safe flight y/n!

Twin: see you soon!

Disney Prince: xoxoxo!

BBG: Minho and I wish you safe travels!

Angel Baby: YAY! Get back safely, I need my cuddle buddy!

Minnie Mouse: Have a safe flight! Jeongin says hurry back and save him from Minho

The second you stepped foot in your place, it didn’t feel right. You pulled out your phone and dialed the first name in your contacts list.

While he was in the shower, Chris’s phone started ringing.

“Hannie, can you grab that for me please?” Chris called out. Han grabbed the phone and checked who it was before answering.

“Chris’s phone, his favorite child speaking,” Han joked, pretty proud of himself.

“Yah!” Chris scolded but with a big smile plastered on his face. You snorted.

“Felix?” You said biting your lip trying not to laugh. Han’s eyes went huge.

“YAH!” He yelled even louder. Chris laughed as he did his best not to get water in his eyes from leaning so far back. You shook your head.

“Can I come over? I was going to study at my place but I need a change of scenery,” you say playing with your shirt.

“You don’t have to ask y/n, you're always welcome,” Han said sincerely. You smiled at that.

“Okay, I’ll see you guys soon then!” You said enthusiastically.

“See you soon!” He said before hanging up. He set the phone down and looked at Chris.

“Y/n is coming over so get unnaked,” he said jokingly before going to open the door. Chris laughed.

“She lives 10 min from us. I think I have time!” Chris shouted back with a big smile on his face. You kept your composure when you walked in, despite the lump in your throat upon opening their door. All of the boys greeted and chatted with you briefly before you retreated to your room. Instead of unpacking and relaxing, you decided to work on your computer. Despite not getting any sleep on the flight, you felt that you should be productive. It was around 9 pm, and although you were exhausted, you didn't want to think about the funeral. While reading case studies, you came across one that deeply affected you. It made your heartache. This particular case study caused one of the subjects to take their own life because of the trauma they went through. Once you were about to finish writing a sentence, you got a call from Carter’s sister.

“Hey Peyton,” you say as you continue typing. You heard sniffling on the other line.

“Pey? Shit did I forget to let you know I made it back??” You ask. You heard her take a shaky exhale before speaking.

“No no, you did…um…I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to say it. Y/n…Carter’s death wasn’t an accident,” she choked out. Your eyes went huge.

“What do you mean?” You ask frantically. You were hoping with every fiber of your being it wasn’t what you thought it was.

“I was sitting in her room and I…I found a letter…” and your heart stopped.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do @itzsana-kiddingmenow

#stray kids #stray kids x stay #skz fanfic #christopher bang #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #skz angst #college au #stray kids college au #non idol au

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hcneygemini · 8 months ago

Text

𝖝. 𝖆. 𝖓. 𝖆. — the sex was good until it wasn't sentence starters.

A collection of sentence starters from the album The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn't. Not including songs previously released as singles ( they are on this meme ) I also have chosen not to include 15, Lavender Daughter, or BODY due to the heavy and deeply personal subject matter. Please do not add to or claim this meme as your own. Feel free to change pronouns, slightly rephrase, combine, or shorten as needed. Some lyrics have been changed to better fit rp purposes. tw: toxic relationships, brief suicidal ideation, religious stuff ( mostly blasphemous lmao ), some violence mentions, & implied cheating.

LIP SERVICE

you can't hurt me any more than you have already.

it's taken everything in me not to be petty.

what once was easy is now feeling pretty heavy.

waiting is romance until [ they ] are never ready.

i get next to you and i still get nervous.

my stomach dropped when you said "i don't deserve this."

i don't deserve this.

"it's just not like you," is what i tell myself, but how could i know that?

i guess it's true love 'cause you always come right back.

a liability is what you lack.

i don't wanna know that.

you talk of timing, like our planets just aren't aligning.

you talk of timing, as if we don't have any say in deciding.

you talk of timing, as if my tongue is the only one i'm biting.

you talk of timing, as if i don't have all your confessions down in writing.

yeah, it's the timing.

i can't let you lie to me.

i don't know who you're trying to be.

i didn't wanna up and leave.

i knew you wouldn't stay with me.

i think about you all the time.

we thought it would, but it never died.

my guilt is who i sleep beside.

i wonder if you're warm tonight.

we tried to control all the damage.

you couldn't let go.

i couldn't handle all the doubt in my mind.

all that's left is the hurt where you're hollow.

i wish you'd have saved yourself, 'cause i now i gotta save me.

now i gotta save me.

is there a world where we can make this better?

will i question your intentions forever?

[ Phoebe ] said that it's for the better.

i do what i can to make it last.

i'm scared of how i feel when you talk like that.

can we talk like that?

can we talk?

i would do it all again.

maybe we can try whenever you are able.

i'm not waiting, i'm just sitting at the table.

THE SEX WAS GOOD !

we're star-crossed lovers, but i wanna puke whenever you say it.

you're a little older now.

that's just the hard truth.

you're rocking with the big boys.

you scream your lungs dry.

i'm a sucker for white noise.

where am i tonight?

i guess you'll never know.

you probably won't sleep right.

now i can't think of you, it ruins my whole mood.

i only painted you red out of kindness.

you blame it on your childhood.

i should have left, but how could i?

i guess the sex was good until it wasn't.

i bet it cuts right to the bone.

you wanted a wife and a kid and a life you could control.

i've got unsaved numbers in my phone.

i've got a god-awful tendency to love being alone.

break all my shit!

incite a riot!

go play the victim, babe, i hope they buy it.

dry your alligator tears.

you can't leave 'em here.

you wanted love songs—beggars can't be choosers, dear.

i'm stone cold.

it's fucking tragic.

i never loved you.

i find myself looking back a bit more than i should.

it wasn't all bad, but it wasn't that good.

SICK JOKE

write it in gold.

the ending gets old.

they say you learn to know when it's time to go.

these days i'm talking to myself.

i know what to say now.

is everything i feel temporary?

i'm learning more about myself and it's scary.

won't you let me live right here in the memory?

love me plenty.

take this gently.

leave me empty.

leave me whole.

call it what it is: it's a sick, sick joke.

nobody's laughing now.

i wanna learn to love you, i just don't know how.

i swear i'm really trying, but i'm all worn out.

all that happened hurt me more than i care to talk about.

nothing ever changes, and i'm sick of this town.

will i find it in me to find a way out?

i think i might feel better once i let you down.

we never touched in that midnight glow.

every part of me you begged to know.

i look into your eyes and i see my own.

it's almost like you always knew me—what a horrifying feeling.

you were horrifying.

i only miss it a little.

i don't wish you very well.

you only loved me in riddles.

you still loved me, i could tell.

now you call it a fever dream.

you're only kidding yourself.

i wanna learn to trust you, i just don't know how.

you're no longer a contact.

i'm good on my own, but you already know that.

you swore to be true.

you failed in the moment.

they say it takes two, but i blame you.

i don't know what it means.

someday i'll find the meaning.

the wound still stings.

i kinda like the bleeding.

where'd you go?

you oughta stay there.

i had to block you on the internet 'cause i still care.

it keeps me up at night like a bad, bad dream.

what if i never find someone who's just like me?

our stars never aligned.

we did a bad thing.

i hold on to the grudges.

i wish you held me.

i have an incessant need for a love so all-consuming that it ruins me.

you promised it was real.

i guess you misspoke.

i wanna be merciful, i just don't know how.

it goes against my nature to believe you're bad.

why'd you have to go and lie to me like that?

there always come a point where you have to have your own back.

now's as good a time as ever to learn that.

i'm thankful that i never gave you all of me.

now i get to walk away with everything.

if i linger in your memory, eradicate me!

i never saw you coming, but i felt you leave.

i did my best.

i hope you never find the guts to make amends.

i'm crying to my friends.

i'm plotting my revenge.

all i really wanna know is why would you pretend?

FERAL

i served my head on a platter.

i wish i were dead by now.

what does it matter?

make your amends.

prepare for the slaughter.

the rumors are true.

you're callous and cruel.

that [ woman ] is feral.

they said, "be careful, that [ woman ] is the devil.

even god herself as never known such evil.

i see [ her ] when the lights go low.

i feel [ her ] when i'm on my own.

i do my best work under pressure.

you fight for your life.

for me, it's just pleasure.

blood on my lips looks so much better.

witness my final ascension.

i command your undivided attention.

i'm teaching a lesson.

god is a woman and she likes other women.

does it keep you up at night?

was there something in the light that looks like me?

was it worse than you thought?

are you praying to a god you don't believe?

there's a shadow in your bed.

[ she ] won't leave.

i kinda wish i killed you sooner.

pray to your great empty heaven.

THE KICKER

it's snowing for the second time this winter.

i'm glad i didn't, but i wish i'd kissed [ her ]

i've been contemplating resolutions.

i blocked the user, but [ she ] made a new one.

i'm at a loss.

maybe i'm sick and need an obsession.

maybe it's love and the timing's up to heaven.

if it's as real as it feels, wouldn't you be here still?

ain't that the kicker.

there's a ghost in these walls.

[ she ] says nothing at all.

there ain't a single day i don't feel [ her ].

you're a lesson learned.

i'm one you get to work through.

how dare you say this ain't easy for you.

you get to fall asleep in bed with a [ girl ] who chose you.

i hate that i still wonder if it's what you wanted.

you said you're all mine.

it left me haunted.

if i go crazy, put your name down on the paper.

cause of death: a fucking serial dater.

maybe i'm mixing up all the signs.

you're really not a bad guy.

you could be the one if i just let this one slide.

baby, you're lucky that i'm such a forgiver.

you chose her too.

don't tell me you love me if you don't mean it like that.

you don't mean it like that.

don't tell me you're coming back, you don't mean it like that.

why'd the lord make me such a forgiver?

EARTH EYES

you're got earth in your eyes.

i can hardly survive how you touch me at night.

will you touch me tonight?

will you touch me?

you're all mine.

you kissed and you cursed me.

i spent 7 years trying to prove i was worthy.

i waited for worship.

i waited for madness.

i sat on your doorstep.

i loved without reason.

you loved me in secret.

now that i'm older, i no longer mind it.

it wasn't one-sided.

you tried to hide it.

you wound pretty lies 'til we crashed and collided.

i finally found you.

ALIBI

i don't love [ her ], but i think about [ her ] all the time.

i wonder what on earth [ she ] tastes like.

i've got a hundred reasons why i need an alibi.

i think it's funny.

i can never get [ her ] all alone.

it's all we know.

i haven't been this close to heaven since they shut me out.

i still had blood on my clothes.

[ she ] washed it out.

i know nothing in this world can save me now.

no, i don't love [ her ]

[ she's ] just somehow all i think about.

ain't it funny?

for you, i think i could have been someone.

i hope you know when it's your time to go, it'd be an honor just to offer up a hand to hold.

if i have to wait until our decaying state to be that close to you, darling, it's all i'll do.

i'll be yours forever, if forever will have me.

i'll be yours forever.

4EVER

it's already been 6 months.

i kinda hate how the time just goes and goes.

it feel strange to think about how i used to be somebody you didn't know.

you're the first i always call.

i share my clothes and fears with you.

we know it's something special.

we know we're gonna miss it when we get a little older.

i'm crying on your shoulder.

i think i fell in love, but it feels a little better.

i could stay right here in this house with you forever.

some things are meant to be.

some things are accidental.

you make me believe the world could be gentle.

every minute here i get more sentimental.

you cry in my arms.

i put on the kettle.

we do what we want.

the [ girls ] are allowed.

i had a panic attack, now we're going out.

god, i love the [ girl ] house!

you can brush your teeth while i'm singing in the shower.

i'll follow you wherever.

you make it all right.

home is where i love you.

they could stick us in a movie.

i'd even go to hell if it meant with you.

how'd we get so lucky?

home is where you love me.

we're all just a little bit in love with [ Amelia ].

i'll meet you on the corner.

i'm down in california.

they say talk is cheap.

JANUARY

it's all so comforting, the part of me that dies without you here.

tell me how i'm supposed to stay away for another year.

i don't wanna kill the parts of me that loved you right.

i can't look them in the eye.

i swear i will hate you for this forever.

i never got to tell you that i loved you.

i was blinded by your tunnel light.

this is my town.

honey, it's your wasteland.

i don't think we'll ever talk again.

we couldn't get that right.

i didn't notice the moment you let go of this.

i was all alone in it for longer than i knew.

i knew.

you made the right choice.

i'm second guessing if i ever really knew your true intentions.

you couldn't hold back.

i couldn't learn my lesson.

i kinda hate the silence.

i know what to do with it.

now it's over.

i feel 10 years older, somehow none the wiser.

i do this every time.

i couldn't get that right.

your skeletons, they don't scare me.

i go back to january—in my mind, you wait there for me.

i feel pathetic, insisting this shit's poetic.

i feel you rolling those damn eyes.

i curse 'em all the time.

no, i don't miss you anymore.

i don't want you back in my life, i couldn't live like that.

i'd say i'm happy.

there's still something so daunting.

i never felt the weight of it all.

you came along and took it off me.

i hope you're happy.

i can't look at any pictures, i'm afraid i'll see you with [ her ].

i heard you got that right.

i can't go back, i can't move forward.

i cried all night.

what's that like, being loved by you?

i still talk to you when i'm sleeping.

i call you name just to feel something.

i never learned to let a good thing go.

no, you won't be seeing my name on a phone screen.

you're hoping it's me who caves—well, it won't be!

i needed the time and the space.

i can't recall why it was needed in the first place.

i ain't a killer.

oh baby, i might be.

you're somehow the one i can't leave behind me.

in my mind, you regret me.

do you regret me?

#roleplay meme #rp meme #rp prompts #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #lyric starters #lyric sentence starters #violence mention tw #implied cheating tw #suicidal thoughts tw #religion mention tw #toxic tw

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mekkanicalsol · 7 months ago

Note

I agree with the last anon! Love any and all Dione content, she's adorable!! Really curious about that lore you mentioned, too

glad to hear!! there already has been some tidbits of it posted here such as this and that— and also kind of want to elaborate on my personal interpretations and additional ideas of ‘moons’

the lore i mentioned i want to end up visualizing stuff from much earlier in the past, to the events of MMV, and then after, and I have some key things that i already have jotted down so i’ll just drop in what i have so far. (not the best grammar since they’re notes i put down)

Moons/STN

In line with the titles, these are artificial beings in the same species category as Stardroids, entities also created by the supercomputer Ra Moon. They are specified and sorted to a corresponding commander equivalent to the planets of the solar systems and their moons– they are of a lower rank than the typical Stardroid. However, they are not Kuiperdroids either, as they are distinct in their builds and not often produced in mass. Their abilities also correspond to the schematics of their commanders, boosting their specialties to make for more effective combat. Moons don’t have the same authoritative power as their commanders, so they work with Kuiperdroids also.

Moons while not as often as a Kuiper, remain more expendable than a Stardroid, and they don’t get replaced as often, mostly because they end up lasting a bit longer. Some might just end up as materials to be connected to another.

In the Case of Dione

TW: Implied Suicide Ideation

Dione is one of many Saturn’s moons made also by RM after taking the reins over their initial creators, though a huge error and anomaly with her concerns her general structure and lack of a special ability, etc. It was unknown on how RM, a self-proclaimed perfect being ended up messing up for just specifically this creation — labeling her as a defect.

Since this was in the more earlier stages of developing their units they couldn’t be bothered to dispose of her right away nor command another to destroy her. The only thing that managed to keep her around was her skill of support/repairs. She could act as walking extra energy source to help replenish an ally, added with the fact that she made efficient repairs and maintenance.

Other than that, she had nothing to defend herself with. It was anticipated by RM (and maybe other stardroids) that she’d eventually crumble on her own at some point and there’d be no significant change after. Not only did all of this start a subtle downfall of her self worth it also grew a rather strong desire to be useful and a fear of severe disapproval from their superiors. She is especially dedicated and grateful to Saturn, however, for seeing her uses.

Anytime there was damage done to her, a crack, etc, she’d repair herself. In the process, over time, she drastically modified herself to fit her purposes (and maybe personal preferences) but somehow, never could be able to ‘fix’ her obvious errors.

As time passed on with countless battles of conquest, it also came as an expense for the other moons of Saturn and plenty of other units. Years of seeing her own perish before her very eyes or brought back as scrap, Dione’s mental state only worsened from the fact that her, a weak link barely holding on to life, was outliving so many others who were optimally able to do what she couldn’t— and that even included a sibling that she was close to.

Not wanting to be weakened or deemed an obstacle for her strange tendency to sympathize, Dione shut off most of her emotions. The desire to be useful and help her subordinates and superiors remained (especially for Saturn, who also suffered greatly from the many losses of his moons and grew desensitized), but she grew no longer concerned of an inevitable demise whether done by her own kind or through many battles to come.

She waited and even actively anticipated for her end to come sooner— but somehow, it never happened. And all she could do from then on was continuing what she did best, repairing, providing.

#Gomi’s Obligatory Ask Tag #stardroids #stardroid oc #mega man oc

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o-wyrmlight · 10 months ago

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Little tidbit of the upcoming chapter for my fic, A Toast to the Pigs--a Martinaise retelling exploring the idea of: "What if Harry Du Bois didn't develop amnesia and still had to solve the Martinaise case?" Tw: Mentions of suicidal tendencies; Heavily implied alcohol use

He let out a sigh he didn’t realize he was holding, pressing his back against the apartment door. What was he doing—micromanaging his superior’s bathroom habits? Maybe he had to take a shit. Maybe he had to take a shit and he had gastrointestinal issues on top of the rampant alcoholism. Fuck kind of business was it Kim’s, anyway? The kind of business of a man who was well-aware of another man’s suicidal habits being left alone in a fucking room. And the suicidal man was his responsibility.

His responsibility. Remember the room. Remember the fucking room. He couldn’t even count all the hidden bottles, there were so many.

The door creaked open on its rusty, squeaky hinges, and Harry Du Bois slipped outside, leg by long, flare-cut leg, stretching out his arms and his body like a languid cat stretching in the sun. He was remarkably relaxed.

Harry gave a thumbs up, sleeve wet a quarter way to his elbow. He flashed his teeth in a horrible attempt at a smile, stained a subtle red over the subtle yellow. He sauntered to the yellow chair next to Kim, practically collapsing into it, letting the bag drop onto the floor beside his feet with a low groan.

Sweetness clung to him like a second skin, and it smelt like Commodore Red.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #a toast to the pigs #wyrm writes #scheduled

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zen-the-dumb · 1 year ago

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Aizawa hurt/comfort oneshot

“Where do you want us to go from here?”

Gn!reader

Playlist I made to go with it: 1-14: suffering alone 15-29: explaining the why’s 30-44: comfort and help with recovery

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(TW!: for self-harm, self destructive tendencies, and implied suicidal thoughts. If any of these topics make you uncomfortable or trigger you, please DNI. Instructions on how to find resources will be in the comments. You are not alone and are worthy of help.)

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(Reader is a pro hero for this oneshot)

You had been struggling with your mental health for so long. You had never reached out for the fear that you would seem insane, or selfish.

You felt like other people deserved help, but you didn’t. That you weren’t ‘sick enough’ to be taken seriously. You progressively got worse as your depression sunk to deeper and deeper levels.

Eventually, you resorted to harming yourself to ease your mental pain, with physical pain. No one around you knew. Your hero costume had long sleeves, and long pants. You didn’t want anyone to find out. You didn’t want to be stopped. You wanted to get sicker. You wanted to keep cutting deeper and deeper until one day you’d cut too deep. That’s what you wanted.

Of course you would never say those thoughts out loud. After all, what would anyone think of a self destructive hero? How would anyone be able to trust a hero who couldn’t even control their own thoughts of destroying themselves from the inside out to control a situation where others were in danger?

You were dreading having to go out on patrol today. You wished you could just go to sleep and not have to wake up again. Your only relief was that you were not going to be on patrol alone. Shota was coming with you.

As you got into your hero costume, you realized it was a bit loose. You had been neglecting your health and were loosing weight due to not eating. You shrugged and put it the rest of the way on.

You made your way out of your apartment building and began walking towards where Aizawa had told you to meet him.

Once you turned the corner, you saw Aizawa leaning against a light post. He looked over at you as you walked over.

“You ready?” He asked nonchalantly, looking you up and down for a moment. You nodded.

You two began the patrol around the city, carefully watching for any criminals or villains.

The first half of the nearly five hour patrol went off without a hitch. There were only a few instances of pickpocketing and a mugging that the two of you had to take care off.

Near the 3 hour mark of your patrol, Shota noticed something. He caught a glimpse of a cut/bite bruise on your wrist before you had noticed and tugged your sleeve down again. He was a bit caught off guard at first.

He wanted to ask you about it immediately, but decided to wait if he could get another glimpse to confirm.

Shota continued looking to your wrists whenever you were distracted and eventually, he got the confirmatory glance he needed. About 15 minutes from the end of the patrol, your sleeve slipped down again. He caught a look at two cuts on the inner side of your wrist. Unmistakable for anything besides cuts from a razor blade.

He kept his composure, not wanting to confront you while you were both on shift.

Aizawa waited the 15 minutes, his nerves about what he had seen festering inside of him like an infected wound.

Once the alarm on his watch went off for end of shift, he almost immediately asked you about it.

“Y/N. I need to ask you something.” he began, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Yeah?” you questioned, signaling for him to ask whatever he needed to ask. You tilted your head to the side a bit as he began.

“Are you okay?” Aizawa asked this first question blunt and stern.

“What?” you queried.

“Just answer the question.” Shota directed.

“Yes, i am” you answered. You knew it was a lie, you really did, but somewhere deep down you wished it was true.

“Really? Because the marks on your wrist told me a different story.”

Your eyes widened just a bit as you desperately tried to keep your composure. You were scared. He had seen them. He knew. The one thing you didn’t want was for anyone to know!

You were panicking, but you managed to object. “What marks? What are you talking about?”

“You don’t have to lie to me. All I want to know is why. Why did you harm yourself?” he was clearly trying to sound comforting. You stayed silent. You wouldn’t be able to lie your way out of this one, would you? You looked down at your feet, avoiding eye contact, not wanting to look at someone for the fear you’d see an emotion that you didn’t want to see.

“Can you please explain? I need to know so that I can try to help you.”

This shocked you when you heard it. He didn’t want to scold you? Why wasn’t he yelling and calling you a selfish human being?

He wanted to help you? This was incredibly hard for you to fathom why he would ever want to help someone as miserable and selfish as you? The truth was, you were neither of those things, in Aizawa’s eyes and not. To him, you were a perfect and amazing person that he enjoyed spending time with. That’s why he wanted to know why you had purposefully harmed yourself. Because he couldn’t fathom why someone as beautiful/handsome and amazing as you would ever want to hurt themself.

However, you didn’t see what he saw, that was clear. You didn’t see yourself as beautiful or handsome, as amazing, as someone that anyone would like being around. You didn’t see why anyone would ever find it pleasurable and comforting to be around you.

“I’m… sorry.” Was all you could stammer out as your eyes became teary.

Aizawa was confused as you said this.

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked you, looking at you with a stern expression.

“Because I did something so selfish… I hurt myself when I have no reason to do anything so stupid.” your voice cracked as you said this.

“Selfish? That’s really what you think, isn’t it? I assumed as much, otherwise you probably would have reached out for help by now.”

You finally looked up at Aizawa. You were desperately confused as a few tears escaped from your eyes. Was he mocking you or was he serious.

“Tell me why. People don’t just do stuff like this unprompted, at least not most of the time.” he commanded sternly. You finally explained the entire thing. Each and every reason. Every. Single. One.

Aizawa stayed quiet and patiently listened to you vent out everything. Once you finished, he was deep in thought. He looked into your eyes.

“Where do you want us to go from here?” Shouta asked you, looking at you with a questioning glance. “Do you want help getting in contact with a psychiatrist? A therapist? Or do would you rather I help you instead?”

“I- i’d prefer not having to go to a hospital or anything like that. I really don’t want to have to be in the spotlight or have people not trust me as a hero anymore because of something like that…” you explained. You looked back at your shoes, shame filling your face once more.

“Alright, then we can go about this with the latter option.”

You nodded slightly in agreement. “Thank you..” you said quietly, tears starting to spill down your cheeks.

He held out his arms, waiting to see if would except his offer for a hug. You stepped into his embrace and he wrapped his arms around you and put his head on top of yours. He rubbed the side of your arm as you continued to cry. He didn’t shush your cries, you just held you, letting you cry out your emotions.

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I really enjoyed writing this one. I’m going to start making playlists for some of my headcannons and oneshots because its fun and gives me something to listen to while I'm writing. Also gives you guys playlists to listen to while reading my bullshit if you want.

*_Requests are open, check my blog description for more details._*

**1,342 words**

Edit: To everyone who liked, you are loved and appreciated, i’m sorry if you’re going through something. If you need, please seek help if you can <3

—Zen

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ctheathy · 2 years ago

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Yandere The Angel headcanons

Yandere The Angel x Reader

Yandere Headcanons [SFW]

It may come off as slightly out of character to those who have dove deeper into his persona, but I wish to tell you; that was exactly what I was going for. I could easily just write him down as some barbarian who does nothing more than take the lives of those around you, but where’s the fun in that? That might as well be his neutral form without any of the romance included. I enjoy writing for unique aspects in yandere aus, and this just so happens to be my own.

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

General toxicity • Yanderes • Depression • Descriptions of Insanity • Su!c!de mention • Slight death+murder detail • Sadistic behaviour [Only from the Angel ,, Not directed torwards darling] • Possessiveness • Superiority complex • Narcissism • Fascination with death • Guilt tripping • Worship

At first glance, the Angel seems like a very ... Complex character. He’s sadistic, cruel, barbaric and very much disrespectful to those who have passed on to the next life; showing no sorrow in their deaths and feeling the need to mock those who are on the verge of it. Much of the characteristics that would be considered a whole lot more reasonable for quite the opposite than the angelic form they take on. All of that and proportionally for little to no reason behind it either. He simply enjoys the things that he does for the thrill of it, having zero remorse in the matter whatsoever ... But there’s an aspect I haven’t seen anybody remorselessly think nor talk about just yet. One that not only has the capability of breaking some of those inhumane personality traits down, but in causing his yandere tendencies to show up. It’s time we take a look far into the future, one much further than any given screentime could ever be.

Over the years he starts to grow bored of his targets. As there's heavily implied that the Angel is very much self aware and has the capability of interacting with future victims of either suicidal reasonings, near death experiences, due to them being on the verge of the afterlife to begin with or himself simply shooting the brains out of them out of satisfaction; any potential survivors after having met the Angel would have likely lost their lives by him not all too long after or have fallen into complete insanity by the relentless and nonstopping disturbing presence alone.

Most assumptions on meeting this considered holy being would likely either move torwards fearing it for their lives, the realisation setting in that it holds the power to literally end anyone’s life they desire to take; or instead going as far to worship the divine appearance, viewing it as a sign of hope and good luck, doing anything it requests in order to keep this mere delusion of themselves living and holding no limits in order to do so, to the point where in the end the only considered thing blessing for them would be the mental institution taking them in. And although these occurrences used to be delightful for him, The Angel has rarely ever experienced anything else. All it takes is one little difference in behaviour what would be more than enough to set him off. Foreignness filling his veins and a feeling of curiosity and desire starting to bloom inside of him.

I cannot help but enjoy the thought of the Angel craving nothing but normality for once in a while. Messing with people on the boundary of life and death is fun. Heck, even toying with the mortal’s emotions shall remain enjoyable and very much so entertaining for the Angel, but it’s important to remember that it’s all he’s ever used to. The Angel holding younger//childish characteristics and curious desires makes it only obvious their ways shall become atleast somewhat boring to them over time. He gets tired of everything being in constant repeat. He wants--no he needs something else to keep his own cravings intact eventually.

Am I implying that the Angel has been a ticking time bomb all along?

Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going after.

When treating him as some equal, neutral entity; almost like he didn’t just take somebody’s life right in front of you, he’s close to feeling offended in a way. He understands he speaks and looks like any other human being would minus the common angelic features, but surely you should have gotten the hint by now that he’s on a much higher level than any of you mortals could ever be. But instead you ... Don’t. Or either just do not care about the Angel’s position as the assistant of literal Death himself in the slightest, which both wouldn’t be all too far out of reach for your case, but this instead makes him feel absolutely outraged and severely taken aback; rather close to just making the presumption that your sanity levels had already been long gone to begin with. No other human has ever treated him the same way you have, so what was the deal with you here? You’re definitely on the border of weird in his opinion, but also intrusively compelling, which is exactly where this unwanted obsession of his would make a start.

No matter how the two of you would have met, the Angel wouldn’t want you dead like he might have had in plan beforehand. Due to how dull his life had been, it’s only obvious he would have easily noticed how much more alive he’s gotten after your sudden arrival in his life, it’s likely been hundreds of years since he’s felt this way--no- Even generally speaking, he felt better than he’s ever had. If anything, all those damned years can go to waste for all he cares. You’ve become his main and likely only source of happiness at this point, and although he would never show nor admit to this in any case, he’s been just as miserable as those occasional mortals suffering from depression in all those years.

Yet would the one struggling with similar issues be his darling, he’d be a whole lot less reasonable among his entire circle of life perspective, casting it aside in hopes of them listening to his childlike, yet genuine pleads for their beating heart. Quite literally guilt tripping you in the process, having zero problem nor shame in forcing out a few crocodile tears in order to keep you on your feet properly. He’s had a mindset that could usually only be considered as insensitive and apathetic; finding any kinds of suffering viewed as pleasant, and although he still truly is torwards any other human being out there, he could never wish the same upon his darling, no matter how natural it may feel for him.

Despite how the normal Angel would be fairly careless with his victims, just trying to get the job done with and not feeling any particular way when doing so, yandere Angel gains a habit of becoming a whole lot more ... Aggressive torwards any rivals of his that might pop up. Despite having a seemingly small image and usually just going for the gun to do the job for him, the Angel would have no problem literally ripping apart whoever with bare hands, tearing off the chunks of flesh of anybody unlucky enough to grab your attention. And may they have the convenience to survive? Well- A few or thirty stabs and knife wounds on the body would surely do the trick instead. Although he’d usually be one to show these through childish acts and mannerisms, his possessive nature has become him to be a whole lot more emotionally expressive with his true emotions among the circumstances of the situation.

For something more on the romantic side, I can see him being a severely overprotective, teasing, cunning and sarcastic, yet perhaps somewhat needy being torwards his darling. On a more immature note, he’d likely also be one to throw childish fits when not getting what he desires, even lack of attention for the day causing his mood to sour greatly. He’s an entity that’s lacked any kinds of normal connections, as some would say it, so having gained one through you would make him quite the clingy saint; always hovering around you throughout your usual routines and holding your side close at the seemingly worst moments along the day. He’s also one to wrap you around in his wings, who unsurprisingly, are fairly soft, feeling much like those of doves would, yet also fluffy in a way. He’d also use this technique when feeling particularly jealous in any of your daily moments together. Any potential threats and unwanted observation being given shall learn what it’s like to have a bullet be shot through their foreheads.

The Angel has chosen you as the muse of his life and he’ll go to severe extends to show the entire world that if he has to, feeling the need to wrap you up and keep you away from any of their horrendous behaviours and thinking that could potentially rub their ways off on you. You’re the true angel in his eyes. You’ve saved him of a lifelong fate that no other could have considerably freed him from. He finds himself being an unstable wreck before all that and it’s only then when just the wrong darling shows up

who knows how long he has the capability of following them around before he’ll snap?

#the angel x reader #angel x reader #angel of death x reader #avogado6 the angel x reader #avogado6 angel #avogado6 #yandere angel

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