#please make the thoughts stop

[tothecrucifieddeer]

Prayers, pleas, poems 10/09/24 [4:00 pm] {POEM FOUR}

In the beginning there were snowflakes on your lashes and pink roses in your check—there was strength in your ice cold fingers and desire at the bite of your teeth. In the beginning there was flashes of light and rotating earth and thunder which would not silence us in our desperate need for each other. And I knew your black eyes. And I knew the weight of your love—and I took it anyway.

In the wound there was sorrow but there was ecstasy—in your words were God and like an angel you touch the apple and did not perish; are you fallen? If so it is only because of what I have made you. Yes what I have made you. Sweet darling, I want to destroy the path between us—I want to stop all connection. My mind is weaving us together. Sickness, my love, sickness—you are my neurons now. My thoughts in your voice. I love you.

Is that enough?

It never is, in all honesty, it never is—I know what God has made you—St.Micheal, Messiah, Holy Warrior in the palm of His hand. Then do it, crush me, stab the spear through my neck—mount my wings as glory—put them in pride of place; and when the moon comes up again, drink my sweet wine blood—I shined brightly once too—but it was always an uneasy glow.

Say goodnight love—the nighttime is yours and I will bow to the anger, to the waving wheat, to the tasseling corn—goodnight love, I never wanted to become an obsessive; the wielding of your death—I beg you, take the nails and drive them through my hands and heart instead. Y’isreal, don’t let me do this. Don’t please. I miss your gentle tones and firm hand.

Take me in hand—teach me again what I am to do. I’m sorry. This Magdalene has run astray—I took the demons back. I hold them in my shoulders—where my wings should be—I keep your name in blood on my tongue; sweet one—tireless child of God; I cannot forget you—my heart an urn for who I was before.

In the beginning there was bruise and kiss and burn—I know pain means now. I know what it’s worth. I liked when you hit me; as wrong as it sounds—when your ring would cut my skin, when the welts and bruises formed—I liked it. You knew what I was and in the beginning you pretended, but here and now, I know you do not run—you merely wait.

[treasureplcnet]

inverness here they come!!!!

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[lilmeowmrow]

quick comic redraw of *the* tkm scene

[the-bi-space-ace]

Lightweight Hunter headcanons

(you can thank @superiorsniper for putting this idea in my head... or maybe in @tbbs-best-hair case blame him. I couldn't stop thinking about it after this post)

One drink in and Hunter loses his bandana. I'm talking he doesn't even have to leave the table they're sitting at and somehow that bandana is gone.

There is always at least one of the batch keeping an eye on him at all times. Too many times they've left him on his own and come back to him dancing on a table.

Speaking of dancing.... reallllllly loves to dance when he drinks even if he isn't good at it lol. He always starts the night like 'oh it'll be a quiet one I'm only gonna have one drink then we'll go' and THIS MAN gets one drink in and is the object of everyone's attention on the dance floor.

He has confidence radiating from every inch of him and it is contagious.

He's a runner. He is slippery and will sneak away if their backs are turned. Not because he wants to escape them but he does what I do (oops) and needs to explore when he's had a few.

Yes they've had to chase him down. Yes Echo has had to tackle him to catch him. No he will not admit that he does this.

Is real touchy feely. That shoulder touch I love so much that he does? Oh turn that up by at least ten. He's leaning on someone at all times, arm around their shoulders, and asking for hugs.

Gets super sleepy towards the end of his buzz. They've got approximately ten minutes from the first time he yawns to get this man in a bed otherwise Wrecker is carrying him home.

That's all I've got for now but I am so genuinely delighted by the thought of Hunter not only being a lightweight but also being a menace so please have this gift <3<3

[dirtytransmasc]

I refuse to go into more detail, but, I will no longer hold my tongue. my biggest gripe with this fandom is the way a majority of it erases Lo'ak's actual trauma and struggles (with his identity, his father/family, his clan, etc), and essentially gives him Spider's traumas/struggles in some idealized form (whether for over the top and oversimplified "hurt/comfort" scenarios, or max woobification), while absolutely dragging and/or ignoring Spider's entire character and the realistic depictions of those traumas and what that does to a kid.

like I can't exactly put words to it or go into a deep analytical post, but I've been thinking about it, and some other stuff I've seen online have been making me think about it.

stop doing a disservice to both of my boys. they both have such interesting and complex stories and you're ruining it!!!

[dismas-n-dismay]

Over and Over - Rio Romeo ur not telling me she didnt think of the first time she met falin and her beauty as she recreated her in that same image of purity and kindness, piece by piece get out of here

[kacievvbbbb]

Do you think there’s a song that only Michael knows? Like a song so old that even with his perfect memory he can’t remember the entire melody or where exactly he heard it, but he hums it to himself all the time at his most loneliest. And it should bother him this hole in his memory but it doesn’t matter cause Michael’s so hurt and the song brings so much comfort.

Like Michael is the first thing God made that stuck, that wasn’t swallowed whole by his ever loving sister. And there was a moment, just a second, where it was just the two of them. When Michael wasn’t a brother and God was just a father, maybe God would hold him close and hum an unfinished song of creation to soothe him. The only sources of light in overwhelming darkness.

His first son, his greatest weapon.

Neither God or Michael remember this; Michael’s got siblings that need taking care of and It’s been a long time since God was a father.

But maybe in their umpteenth year in the cage, when they’ve huddled together after a particularly bad day, Michael starts humming a half remembered melody and when Adam asks him where it came from as goes the game they play, for the first time Michael confesses he doesn’t know.

And just maybe, on the other side of the plane, when Chuck’s writing a new chapter of his latest novel, deep in thought contemplating the relationships of fathers and sons; he starts humming a half remembered song in response and wonders where he heard it.

[amanitacurses]

Pict

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[taigarrryen]

I'm so damn tired of phrases like "content creator", "to produce content", "to consume content". This feels like referring to nameless conciousless biomass slurping on gray artificial goo without any value.

To consume content. Excuse me, what are we, robots?? I'm so sad for humans, for those who create art, write novels or poetry, make documentaries or articles about science, share their experience and emotions.

[tothecrucifieddeer]

Poem/Prayers/Pleas 10/09/24 [1:30PM] {POEM THREE}

TIme is quiet—it flows like rivers, churns like the oceans—through the depths, your white hand reaches towards me. Cold—stone-like. In the drowning, I think of your red lips, smeared with my blood; you loved me once. I can tell. How you devoured me in softer sheets and yearned for me in my attempts to separate. I thought I’d have you forever.

But forever is just a dream in the quiet time. Time is quiet. Time is destructive. Time is turning, burning, yearning—and in the depths of a universe there are just the black pupils of your black eyes; how beautiful they are—how they nurture something long, long lost inside of my nebulous heart. The nursery of the stars is in your white teeth, sharp, and desperate—born again. We are always born again.

Turn me outside in, and let the waters dilute the passions. Cosmic and hate-filled—Time is quiet in it’s disrespect, it’s disillusionment—I can see it now—how drowning in the black waters has become drowning in the universe has become drowning in you, you, you always magnificent, wondrous, and spontaneous you—the background of all of the turning and yearning and burning of time; there you see it? I can’t escape it;

You. A thousand faces, a thousand voices—the opinions of you are the opinions of God and you’ll say you hate me—then I will let myself burn—but now, in feigned or real kindness I drown to kill the flames. White fingers through the black—blood on your lips, my blood be on your hands; love me, yes? You love me?

Then let it end. Then come kill me. Don’t make me beg anymore.

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

By the time cars were invented, Jonah Magnus was already well into the body hopping game, which raises the question: has he ever actually learn to drive? Did this man sit through driver’s ed? Or has he just been getting out of legal repercussions for his shit driving by telling the cops everything he knows about their deepest darkest secrets every time he gets pulled over?

[blackribbons]

i really fucking hate myself and the type of person i’m becoming.

[deoidesign]

I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying

[xxplastic-cubexx]

need a hardened respectful fujo to sit down with james mcavoy and discuss cherik with him insteada this peanut gallery cause if i have to hear people laugh about a gay ship one more time i just might eat rocks

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 21 thoughts:

Well that was sure a turn around from last arc's "I'm going to rally the students so I don't get captured."

I know my daughter has made some . . . mistakes, but I'm not a fan of her turning herself into the openly corrupted and also bad at their job parahuman cops.

(Parahuman cops as in "cops who police parahumans" not "cops who are parahumans")

Like look, I get it. A precog told her to cut ties. I can't say it's wrong to follow that advice. But she could do that in a lot of ways that don't involve the PRT.

The second not from Dinah just being "I'm sorry" is brutal.

But before she can turn herself in she has to absolutely fucking crush the PRT/Protectorate for outing her civilian identity.

I love how fucking simple taking out the entire PRT headquarters was for Skitter and her girlfriends!

Who needs anyone else? Bitch brings muscle, Tattletale brings information, Skitter brings battlefield control. Lesbian polycule power activate!

Was it an overboard response? Maybe. Was it badass how she just took out so many heroes and PRT troops with ease? Yes.

Poor Dovetail has one of the most embarrassing introductions ever. First time we see her and Skitter is wiping the floor with her and thinking about her "crummy power".

God I hate Tagg so much that he makes me miss Piggot. Like she was absolutely terrible, but he's worse! And making me miss Piggot makes me hate Tagg even more!

Kindly old cemetery groundskeeper who doesn't pay much attention to the news! Never a bad trope.

They gave Butcher 15 to Cherish???!? Like sure they give all the reasoning for it but like ... it just seems like a really high risk situation. If she ever gets out it's going to suck. A lot.

THE SCENE AT RACHEL'S PLACE OH MY GOD!

SHE IS BUILDING A COMMUNITY! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

Rachel just over here finding everyone like her and giving them a place. Legit crying. Look at that fucking growth!

(Also shout-out to my wife for having basically done the same thing. It's how I met her. It's how I met one of my girlfriends. And so many other important people. So ya. I fucking love this.)

Also you ever like a girl so much you try to give her an entire planet? Cause Taylor sure has.

"Rachel I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone so you can basically have this whole other planet we found."

GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Imp let Regent take control of her . . . welp. Like, I'm not really surprised by this. And in a different situation I wouldn't even really find it that weird. I'd do it with the right person. But combination of age and the situation they are in and Regent being Regent annnnnd ya. Welp.

I did love how much of the interactions between Skitter and Regent/Imp really was just her struggling with parenting two teenage supervillains.

IT'S NOT SO EASY, IS IT CHILD?!? MAYBE YOU'LL CUT ME SOME SLACK AND LISTEN TO MY ADVICE IN THE FUTURE!

(She won't)

I fucking LOVE that she made the bible themed hero kneel. Absolutely fucking amazing.

Oh shiiit, Skitter just flat dropped that guy multiple stories. Is she going to far?

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

Damn, Valefor sure has some fucked up powers, I wonder what they're gonna do abou-

. . .

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

. . .

Yep.

. . .

. . . I think I preferred when she just used a knife.

So anyway

Not a fan of Taylor having more alone time with Brian (not because I have any issue with the idea, but because I think she needs to be focusing on her girlfriends), but I am a fan of her using bugs to clean her dress and fix her hair afterwords while Brian just kinda sits there and has to contemplate what he has gotten himself into. Queen shit.

Flechette was SO mad that Parian wasn't "cute" anymore, I couldn't stop laughing. Sure, she said "You had to take the playfulness away? The joy?" but we all know what she meant. Of course, it's won't take very long for the new costume to get Flechette's attention. (I have to mention that this is basically exactly what I said when reading the scene, and the interlude a few chapters later just proved me right.)

Flechette is just so hopelessly gay

Miss Militia is actually getting very mild respect from me right now. Like, she's still working for the cops but she is actually agreeing to silently push against some things. Now, she says she doesn't have more power then that but she is a very well known hero and if she would publicly speak out about certain things there is a decent chance she could do more. That would of course be putting her position at risk though. Which is why she only gets very mild respect right now.

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T JUST GET TO SEE TATTLETALE'S MURDER WALL, I GOT TO SEE HER ENTIRE MURDER ROOM!

Fucking multiple bulletin boards with threads connecting them. Everything color coded. Reference numbers to files with more details. Multiple TV screens, computer with constant information dump. God. It's like a literal representation of the inside of my mind while I read Worm. SO MANY THINGS TO FIGURE OUT!

I love a lot of characters, but Tattletale always stays near the top. She gets me.

And from the fucking joy of getting to see that setup I come crashing the fuck down.

Like, I have completely figured out at this point that Skitter is turning herself in. I know what is coming. She's had her moment with everyone else and Tattletale is the last one.

And then. Then just . .

No goodbyes.

😭😭😭😭😭

HOW DARE THIS BOOK MAKE ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS!! I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS!

I do find it hysterical that the PRT officers working the front lobby don't all recognize Skitter on sight. Fucking gas station employees will manage to keep track of people with pictures on the "bad check" board, you'd think the PRT could manage to have their officers keep track of the face of one of the most well know villains in the country, if not the world, who also controls their city. PRT is forever bad at their job.

That one guy did notice her eventually though, so I guess he gets to be employee of the month.

The Number Man interlude thoughts:

The inside of this mans mind is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen and the constant reminder of the horrible things he is helping Cauldron do to all their prisoners was very helpful because it was the only thing keeping me from deciding that The Number Man is a perfect soul that can do no wrong.

I have no illusions here. I am weak. This man is a monster and I should not have any trouble remembering that.

But fuck shit fuck oh god fuck I don't even need him to touch me. I just need him to TALK to me. I just need him to get high with me and let me pick apart how his mind works!

He understood numbers, and through them, he understood everything.

That line. Absolute killer. Fucking take me.

. . . anyway yes it's a very interesting interlude!

Loved seeing more of the inner workings of Cauldron

I very much want to see the final level of their basement that only the Doctor goes into because I said that I thought Cauldron had a dead (for values of dead that are non-definable) higher dimensional being in their basement back during arc 15 and now I know for sure that there is something down there. I wanna know if I was right!

Oh my god he was friends with Jack

"Friends"

Look I make everything gay ok? It's not my choice! Sure it means I get to enjoy every tiny bit of Wolfspider and Chatterbug cause I see all of it. But it also means I see the ships I don't want to think about!

I men what was I supposed to think when Jack said “We can live this. Together. Every waking second…”?

Gay

Parian interlude thoughts:

And speaking of gay!

Fucking Flechette just full blown "Fuck all of this I want you to tell me what to do for the rest of my life!"

Full U-Haul lesbian.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

This is Parian's new costume having an effect.

Just so gay. I love it.

Also Bitch just so fucking ready to break Skitter out. So fucking gay.

And the incredible loyalty, which is gonna hurt if she ends up feeling betrayed by Skitter.

Still gay though.

Tattletale, basically without powers, just completely giving Accord the "fuck off, we're in charge" was amazing. All she had to do was promise to consider his binders and he was all in. This poor man just wants somebody to read his ideas! He's like a aspiring screenwriter just begging people to read his script.