#please i promise this is funny
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At popular request (aka the onceler cosplay person's) here's my y/n x the onceler fic i wrote less than 20 min after getting my wisdom teeth removed.
under the cut cause it's... a ride
cw for sexx and vore, but its extremely tame cause i was high and sixteen when i wrote this
@moth-tea-merchant (who's apparently the onceler cosplayer)
it was a warm day that was cold. y/n was sitting on her front lawn looking at the butterflies and flowers and admiring being allergic to pollen when she lookd next door and there was…
A NEW NEIGHBOR!?!
“What?” y/n said. “i didnt kno i was getting a new neighbor!!!”
and then he walked out the house that is next to y/n’s. the neighbor is green like a green bean and he is tall also like a green bean adn y/n really likes green beans.
mmmm yummy green beans. roast them gril them stir fry then steam them. all green beans are good. even yucky ones. y/n starts drooling.
neighbor man looks over and says “hi i am named the onc*ler,”
“I am y/n” y/n says, “you look like a green bean.”
“people say that a lot,” on*eler says sadly.
“oh,” yn says. y/n offended the green bean man oh no.
the once*er leaves and goes back into his house to finish moving in because that is what he was doing. y/n looks at him and drools and thinks about eating her favrite food, green beans.
then all of a sudden, gren the *nceler comes out of his house.
“y/n i am in love with you!!!!” he sasy.
“i am sorry,” y/n says, “but i only love green beans”
“well i have a secret,” oncele* says, “i am actually a greenbean that was turned human.”
“oh em gee1” y/n ays. “we r perfect for each other!!!”
and then they kiss. the oncel*r’s mouth tastes like green beans and y/n likes that.
then they have sexx and y/n eats him like how praying manitses eat their mates adn also y/n really likes green beans. he tasted like a green bean. and that is how y/n fell in love and then accidentally ate her one true love.
the end.
#goose writes#shitfic#y/n x the onceler#please i promise this is funny#not gw2#only tangentially art party related so not tagging it lol#ngl this is one of my favorite things to inflict on people
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who knew shed inspire such blind loyalty?
#modposts#zonami#lunami#usonami#sanami#east blue polycule#fanart#op#one piece#skypeia#sorry theyre in my brain and i wanted to doodle this cause i thought itd be funny#nami and her harem/small army#ms-all-sundays art#please forgive me for only drawing their heads again i promise ill do something fullbody again soon
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heartbreak weather!
#niko sasaki#dead boy detectives#dc#rex doodle#Ask not what you can do for the dandelion sprites stuck in your head as what your dandelion sprites can do for you#(Rex please this is funny I promise. The people need American history jokes please) - tags from my irl friend#anyway shoutout to ME for diverting expectations and linking a boy band pop song to this post instead my usual unusual bs haha#this is a few months old at this point but i still love it#the sandman#(technically)!
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Mine: Refer to me however you want!
Mike: Yeah, for me too. I think I use all pronouns too.
[They high-five and fist-bump each other]
Mine:
[via @barbmine]
#Mine#Barbmine#Mikethelink#Mike#I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMM THEY'RE SO FUNNY#Mine funniest person alive fr#also YOOOO LETS GO??????#I didn't know Mike was ok with any pronouns#and Mine too??? that's awesome!#Also for those who don't know: Mine is Mike's wife!#They're both bi#They're so cool I wanna have a silly sweet partnership like this someday *clenches fist and stares off into the sunset*#As per usual: not a native Portuguese speaker so can't translate the full thing#please feel free to hop in with translations and/or corrections!#Though I'm pretty confident about these. Wouldn't post it if I wasn't#I'll be real idk how to translate viado LMAO#It's like. Not what google translate will tell you it means#idk imo I think ''homo'' sounds right but ONCE AGAIN: I'm not a Portuguese speaker#Poor Mine I laughed when she first posted this image ages ago and I replied to her saying it gave me a good laugh and she was like#''WAIT I PROMISE IT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT GOOGLE TRANSLATE SAYS IT MEANS''#it's all good Mine I'm bi too I am not phased lmao#I don't personally use that word but I do not care when other queer folks use it
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when you’re a fully domesticated Time Lord and you forgot to take the bins out on bin day
#please#please I’m funny I promise#david tennant#fourteenth doctor#doctor who#domesticated time lord nonsense
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#dnp#phan#dnpgames#phil lester#dan and phil#dan howell#petition for them to do a phan tumblr video#please#i promise we're funny too
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if requests are open then please please please more havoc duo :3?????? i love how you draw them i see your designs and fucking explode. Would drink bleach. uhh angsty or fluff or ANYTHING just havoc duo my beloveds
i went insane on this one. okay.
i've been listening to the horror and the wild by the amazing devil on repeat and i think it's extremely havoc duo coded. if anyone disagrees with me, you're wrong. here's some more little sketches i did for some other lyrics, because i used to make animatics for fun and i still miss doing them.
#☆ request .#☆ my art .#im not normal about havoc duo#i miss them so bad#i have so many thoughts#like i have the whole animatic mapped out in my head#“think of all the horrors that i promised you id bring” THE HORRORS IS THE WORMHOLE. guys hear me out please#i have so many ideas for animatics#im so tempted#also i find the “wingless thing” thing very funny#the avians referring to other species that don't have wings as “wingless” just seems right ykn#GOD they make me ill#havoc duo#save me havoc duo save me#parrotx2#spokeishere#lifesteal smp#someone sedate me plaease
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sneegfrank mountain. or whatever it’s called.
and alive frank design by @glsneeg-enthusiast (sorry for ping I can always not mention you lol)
also obviously this is the genloss characters I promise I just couldn’t draw frank as a skeleton nor wanted too
#This is mostly a shit post#but also it’s funny#chat the parallels.#chat they did that same shit they did in the tent as they did the cage#yeah#uhm#sneegfrank ❤️#sneegfrank 💔💔💔💔#genloss#I hate maintagging ships sometimes#especially when it’s a ship nobody takes that serious#but I promise you it’s good#happy early Halloween and watch brokeback mountain#please 🙏
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cats attending a yacht party as if they werent at booze garden at 1am the same day is so incredibly-
also matthew MATTHEW THAT SHIRT. THAT SHIRTTTTT. WHAT IS THAT.
6.29.24 (x)
#matthew tkachuk#sam bennett#aaron ekblad#anton lundell#florida panthers#the fun game of spot the cat#im pretty sure thats stenny mikksy forsy and lundy in the water and please dont ask me how i can tell those pixels apart#it looks like theres also a stolie and uvis on the yacht as well#also ever since we've won the cup i think benny has forgotten what a shirt is#stolie does like that teal little boardshort huh#these men make a lot of money and they use it for. making bad shirts.#blessed be the eyes that see ekky shirtless#BLESSED BE THE EYES THAT SEE STENNY SHIRTLESS#theyre just having a fun little yacht party oh girls just wanna fun splish splashing in the bay#on another episode of lets cross intercounty lines#i think its funny tracking how much time they spend in transportation personally#like everywhere they go IF they go by car is always usually 45 minutes because they keep going from broward to dade to broward again to dade#girl i could never but ig when you're promised drinks youll do anything eh
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would it be a sin? if i can't let that fool go down alone.
@userdramas event 16: fools
#beyond evil#jwds#cw blood#cw guns#rowan gifs#userdramas#tusermona#tuserashinlae#purpleguitar#yilinglaozu#roserayne#lextag#samblr#as promised i took the silly funny goofy event prompt and made edgy content out of it. as one does#shout out to beyond evil's already existing thematic fascination with hands and fingers for enabling me#please imagine this gifset set to a dramatic minor key acoustic cover of cant help falling in love a la disaster movie trailers#also yes the secret is there! happy hunting but maybe dont try on mobile lol
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✨Good Timezone✨
#PLEASE tell me some of yall understand the pixels in the last one#in my brain its so funny i promise#i can hear it just looking at it#sleep token#sleep token vessel#sleep token ii#sleep token iii#sleep token iv#worshitposting#sleep token memes
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What's even the point in Thirteen making traps If she isn't going to use them on anybody?
She doesn't even try to kill Solomon anymore, they got rid of all her more """"problematic"""" features (AKA she was "too mean" or whatever). The difference between S4/OG!Thirteen and NB! Thirteen are night and day
#obey me nightbringer#obey me#friendly reminder that the last time she talked to someone other than MC without counting Mephisto in main story#it was a Little D. in the halloween event...#more than six months. uh? now we havento count the last time she talked to a main character other than MC#but it's futile to keep complaining about this. right?#also it's funny how people still joke about her trying to kill solomon. because apart from lesson 13. she hasnt mentioned that anywhere els#(A shame. really)#this is why we can't have nice things. now she's your cute best friend. because she flirts with you but you can't even kiss her. super lame#please now with the addition of Time Chronicles play S4. I promise u that if you liked the brothers being mean in S1#chances you'll like S4!Thirteen. I promise u it's peak#post0400
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waiting for marvel to take you up as their comic artist so that we can have amazing art with cherik official storyline
marvel hire me to draw professor x and magneto making out sloppy style for forty issues straight you will get a BAJILLION dollars i promise
#fave#snap chats#'professor x' what are you a cop. moving on#vjeLKVJEALKV thank you much my friend one can only dream .....#you know whats so funny tho this just reminds me how like. My Number One Cheerleader was my highschool english teacher#she also ran the comic club in case thats relevant. because i was a part of that club OBVIOUSLY#i used to want to be a comic book artist but now i dont but anyway as a part of this club we'd have to draw comics sometimes#and alllll the time my teach would be so happy to get my stuff and she'd always be like#'[Snap] please promise me you'll never give up comics i want to read a comic from you one day' and stuff like that#i think id throw up laughing if i got to email her one day like 'omg hey teach 1.) im not a moody teenager anymore#2.) i got to work for marvel check it out <3' and i have to send her old man yaoi JLVKEJLKAEVJE#FUNNIEST TIMELINE IN THE WORLD I'D ACTUALLY DIE LIKE PLEAAAASSEE THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT IN LIFE#on the realest note tho i didnt appreciate her enthusiasm enough. i wish i could tell her thank you someday#i think of her a lot whenever im in the dumps about my work she really is one of my biggest motivators#like i guess i COULD just shoot an email. maybe if i actually do something cool with comics or something#i dont even know if she remembers me so it'd just be bizarre wouldnt it#ANYWAYS. sappy story time's over theres a matcha crepe cake with my name on it BYYYYYEEEEE
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what do you call it when a gay person gets brain surgery
a lobottomy
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mfw im a hallogen and my alkali metal friend left their luscious single valence electron unattended
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happy (belated) valentine's day!
#please go and listen to waylon jenning's lovin' her was easier while looking at this pls and FEEL THE LOVE#cuz joel sings waylon to tess a lot#this might me valentine's day morning or any other morning in jackson#joel tries to leave their bed but tess is too persistent so they are always late to something#sunny mornings in wyoming sure look perfect#that bedframe is broken but u cant see obviously:D#tommy looked at him funny when joel mentioned they need a new bedframe because *cough cough* it broke down outta nowhere *cough cough*#silly sunny sweet domestic fluff and nothing more#tess servopoulos#joel miller#tess tlou#joel tlou#tessjoel#tess lives#joel x tess#i know i promised “dance with me” but i did it twice and tried to fix it twice and it still doesn't look right but im working on it
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