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ktownshizzle · 1 month ago

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Terms & Conditions | Chapter 3

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

Summary: Managing Min Yoongi as one of your encoders during his alternative military service should’ve been simple. He is quiet, punctual—and can apparently type as fast as he can rap! Not to mention the fact that he is easy on the eyes and keeps wanting to help you. You’ve signed an iron-clad NDA, detailing the full terms and conditions of his temporary employment, so you’re supposed to keep things professional, but what happens if neither of you wants to?

Genre: Fluff, eventual smut, co-workers to lovers, office romance, idol!au

Warnings: Purely speculative regarding Yoongi’s alternative military service and how this is really done in SK, I might include scootergate in a future chapter but please know it will be written sensibly imo and with so much love for our Yoongi (I just wanna protecc him at all costs even thru this silly story!), some cursing, boss/employee relationship sorta but there's no power play involved, reader and Yoongi are within the same age range

Chapter Warnings: reader vs IKEA furniture, 1k words about Yoongi's hands, second-hand embarrassment, more cracktastic internal monologues, a tiny bit of angst

Word count: 7k (approx. 30 mins to read)

Posting date: October 19, 2024

Notes: Very Yoongi-coded of me to work through my sickness. So, yes, behold an update, while I am in the throes of flu. Enjoy~

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Masterlist

Sometimes, the mediocrity in this office is just unbelievable. You’ve put in a request for a filing cabinet so that you can organize the copious amount of paperwork that’s been accumulating in your little space that has overtaken yours and Yoongi’s desks. That was two months ago. It finally arrives today, still in its flat box packaging.

Great.

You’ve been staring at the pieces of the Ikea furniture for what feels like an hour, trying to make sense of the instructions. Of course, they’re all diagrams and singular letters and numbers—just a bunch of arrows pointing to nuts and bolts that apparently hold this whole thing together.

Btw, where the heck is Yoongi?! He’s usually pretty punctual. Pretty and punctual. Hmm. Anyway…

Just as you’re about to abandon your unwanted task to write a strongly worded email to the procurement department, Yoongi strolls in your office, oblivious to the war inside your mind.

“You’re late,” you blurt.

Caught off guard, and wholly unused to your raging bitch tendencies, Yoongi looks like a deer caught in headlights, mumbling, “Sorry, I uh I just got this scooter and am still—”

Is he pouting? OH god…

“No, no…” you backtrack, not meaning to sound haughty at all. “You’re fine. I don’t really—sorry, I’m just in a mood.”

Yoongi nods, assessing the pile of rubble you are on, as he sets his helmet and bag on the desk. He takes a spot on the floor next to you, leans over to squint at the same set of instructions, and decides, “This shouldn’t be that hard.”

You roll your eyes, picking up a random board. “Yeah, says the guy who hasn’t tried yet.”

Wordlessly, Yoongi pulls the screwdriver from your hand and the nearest piece of wood, starting to line everything up. You expect him to struggle, because he’s an idol–LOL–he can’t be that good at this, maybe marginally better than you, but nothing to write home about.

Boy, you are so, so, spectacularly wrong. Chae would be laughing at you later that night as you recount this gross misjudgment on your part and would proceed to send you the link to Run BTS episode 148 and as you watch it in your bed with a sheet mask on you’d be like the fuck is wainscoting??

But for now, you are decidedly a non-believer, even as Yoongi moves through the steps with surprising ease, piecing it together like he’s done this a million times before.

“Hold this,” he says, passing you one of the boards to brace while he screws in the side panels. His fingers brush yours as he adjusts the position, and it’s then that you notice his hands.

Well, you’ve noticed his hands before, but this time it’s different. You watch as his long fingers grip the screwdriver, veins running along the back of his hand, disappearing beneath his shirt sleeve, flexing with every twist. It’s oddly mesmerizing—beautiful, if you’re honest with yourself. They look perfectly balanced between grace and ruggedness, bone structure firm, but the skin warm and soft.

God, those hands… Your mind flashes to places it shouldn’t, and you quickly look away. You clear your throat, as you wrestle with thoughts of those hands wrapping tenderly around your throat.

Holy shit.

He’s completely focused on aligning the screws, while you’re completely unfocused thinking about how you’d very much like for y’all to screw.

Wow. You are a fuckin’ pervert. And so shit at double entendres.

As he continues to work, you can’t help but observe his fingers as they move with precision. Long, lithe, bony in all the right places. Delicate, yet also powerful. And then there are those lovely veins—they pulse slightly with each motion, as his fingers curl effortlessly around the tool like it’s second nature.

It’s way too easy to imagine those hands doing something else entirely. Something that has nothing to do with Ikea furniture. Everything to do with you. Naked, ideally. Now, preferably.

OK Stop. Stop right now.

With a shaky exhale, you force yourself to focus on holding the cabinet in place, but the mental image is seared into your brain now. There’s something unfair about how attractive Yoongi’s hands are—how much control they have, how easily they move, how they make your brain go berserk.

“You good?” Yoongi asks, his voice breaking through your thoughts.

“Hmm?” You blink, realizing you haven’t said anything for a minute.

He blinks blankly at you and doesn’t say more, just passes to you a handful of screws. You take them from him, swallowing the lewd thoughts racing through your mind.

As he finishes screwing the rest of the pieces together, his thumb grazes along the edge of the board, and your eyes trail after it like you’re hypnotized. You bite your lip, trying to focus on anything else. Anything but how good his hands look. Did you seriously just discover a fetish right now?

He shifts closer to tighten something, and you’re hit with the warmth of his body, plus the faint scent of his soap. Your heartbeat picks up, but you stay silent, pretending this is all fine, like you’re not on the verge of asking him to stop and just drag you to the back office closet to fuck.

Sweat is dripping down your neck at the sheer self control you are exercising at the moment. You need him to hurry the fuck up, because there’s already an uncomfortable wetness in your underwear and you need to deal with it stat.

He inspects one of the wood pieces and knocks on it as if to test its strength and you study his knuckles, slightly prominent dappled with subtle brownish-pinkish marks perhaps from boxing.

Honestly, that’s so hot.

Yoongi finishes tightening one side and sits back, leaning on his hands, fingers splayed out on the floor. You glance down, and oof there they are again—those damn hands, long and elegant, resting on the floor like they’re mocking you. You wonder, just briefly, what it would feel like if those palms were pressed up against you, instead of the floor. Will those hands be gentle, rough, will he be the type to leave marks…

You’re staring. Definitely staring.

Yoongi clears his throat softly, and you snap your eyes up to his face. He’s watching you now, head tilted slightly, lips pressed into a line that looks suspiciously like he’s holding back a smile. There’s a knowing glint there—of course he’s caught you, but he’s not going to call you out for it.

“Want to hand me that last piece?” he asks, voice calm but with that little hint of amusement in it. He motions toward the final panel lying next to you, hand outstretched.

You quickly pass it to him, avoiding his gaze completely. His fingers brush yours when he takes it, slow, deliberate.

Oh shit, he definitely knows.

He lines up the final piece of the cabinet and starts screwing it in, but there’s a shift in the air now. You force yourself to focus on what’s in front of you—on the fact that you’re literally just building a cabinet and not having an existential crisis over someone’s hands.

You glance at him from the corner of your eye, trying to read his expression, but he’s focused on the task again, his lips slightly parted as he concentrates. You catch yourself staring at his lips now and quickly look away before he can notice that, too.

Finally, he finishes tightening the last screw, sitting back to admire the completed cabinet. “There. Not so bad, right?”

You breathe out a laugh, the tension in your chest finally easing. “Yeah. Thanks for saving my ass with this.”

Yoongi shrugs, wiping his hands on his slacks. “It was easy enough. I think you were just overthinking it.”

You roll your eyes, feeling more at ease now that the project’s done. “Well, maybe if I had hands like yours, I wouldn’t have struggled.” The words slip out before you can stop them, and your face ignites.

Fuckkkk stupid fuckk dumbass bitchhh

He glances at you, eyebrows raised, then looks at his hands, flexing his fingers like he’s just realizing what you’ve said. He’s silent for a second, and then, “My hands?” There’s that barely-there smirk on his face, subtle but unmistakable.

You scramble to recover. “You know what I mean,” you mumble, grabbing a stray screw off the floor, wishing it would just swallow you whole.

Mercifully, he doesn’t push it further. Just chuckles softly, leaning back against the wall, his gaze flicking to you for a beat longer. “You’re welcome,” he says simply.

He stretches his fingers one last time before stuffing them in his pockets. “They’re at your service, whenever you need them.”

Cheeky bastard.

“Yes, mom, I won’t be late,” you tell Chae as you tug your high-waisted leggings into place, your phone sandwiched between your ear and your shoulder.

“Ok. See ya!”

Finally you smooth the fabric of your sports bra in the office bathroom mirror, turning slightly to check your reflection. The purple set hugs your body in all the right places, accentuating your curves and giving you that boost of confidence you hadn’t realized you needed. You’re not perfect by any stretch, but something about this fit makes you stand a little taller, feel a little bolder.

It’s after-hours, and the office is mostly deserted. You’d told yourself it’d be fine to walk back to your desk dressed like this—barely anyone’s around to notice. Yoongi left minutes ago, or at least you think he did. He never really stays after 5:30 p.m. except that one night he returned “for his ear buds” and even then he actually went home and just came back to get drunk with you, apparently.

As you step into the hallway, your dunks squeak faintly on the floor, echoing in the quiet. You glance around, feeling pretty damn good as you make your way back to your desk to grab your stuff before heading to Chae’s Pilates class.

But as soon as you open the door to your office, you freeze.

Yoongi is still there.

Standing by his desk, packing up, his head snaps up at the sound of the door opening. His eyes lock onto you, and for a second—just a second—they widen, raking over you in a way that’s anything but office-appropriate. His gaze drifts from your legs, up to your waist, lingering at the curve of your hips, then up to your chest, where the sports bra does more work than it has any right to.

You see the exact moment he tries to recover. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows and he quickly looks away, busying himself with stuffing papers into his bag like they’ve suddenly become the most fascinating thing in the world.

Oh. Oh.

The corner of your mouth twitches. It’s almost funny, really—after all the teasing and the subtle suggestions, Yoongi finally looks like he’s the one caught off guard. Finally. You saunter further into the office, a booty-tooch here and there, pretending like nothing’s out of the ordinary, but inside, you’re fully aware of the power shift that just happened.

“Didn’t think you were still here,” you say casually, grabbing your water bottle from your desk. You make a show of bending just slightly, and when you look up, you don’t miss the way Yoongi’s stare flickers toward your cleavage before he quickly averts his gaze. His ears are a little red. Gotcha.

“I thought you’d left already.” He clears his throat. “You uh you got a class?”

“Mhmm…” You hum sweetly, tossing the bottle into your bag. “Pilates. My best friend convinced me to go. Free trial and all.”

Yoongi nods slowly, still not quite making full eye contact, like he’s trying really hard not to look directly at you again. The sadistic part of you wants to make it worse, just for shits—after all, didn’t you deserve a little revenge after the way he had you silently losing your mind over his hands the other day?

“So… what do you think?” You tilt your head, as if the answer to that question isn’t already written in big, bold letters all over his face.

Yoongi finally looks at you then, before darting back to his bag, his fingers a little too purposeful as they zip the bag shut. “About Pilates?”

“No,” you say, smirking. “About the outfit.”

It takes him a second to process that, and when he does, you swear you see his jaw tighten. He presses his lips together, trying to keep his cool.

“It’s… nice,” he says, the understatement of the year, and you raise an eyebrow, daring him to say more.

“Huh.” You cross your arms, weight shifting to one hip, the motion drawing his eyes back to you at the sliver of skin that just revealed itself. “Just nice?”

Yoongi exhales, running a hand through his hair, and for the first time in the months you’ve known him, he looks rattled. Not by much, but enough to notice. You wait, feeling a surge of satisfaction, enjoying this just a tad too much.

He catches your gaze again, this time holding it for longer. His tongue drags across his bottom lip, the gesture slow, and finally, finally, he leans back against the desk, arms crossing as he gives you an appraising look. The faintest smirk pulls at his mouth, but it’s restrained, like he’s weighing his next words carefully. You are still in office premises after all, not in some club in Garosu-gil.

“You’re trouble,” he says softly, and the word hangs in the air between you. The same word you’ve used for him more than once—now, turned on you. “You know that, right?”

You bite your lip, trying to suppress a grin. It feels like a straight-up W, having him flustered, even for a moment. “Yeah?”

He lets out a tiny chuckle, shaking his head. “Yeah.” His eyes drop to your legs again, another once-over. When they return to yours, they’re darker, more intent. He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue before replying, “Definitely trouble.”

You pretend to mull it over, playing with the front zipper of your sports bra. “I mean, you’re the one staring,” you tease, fully aware of what you’re doing now.

Yoongi’s grin returns, a little sharper this time. “And you’re the one who walked in here looking like that.” His voice rasps just slightly on the last words, and it’s enough to send tingles down your spine.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you jest, this time repeating one of his lines from the other night. He shakes his head again at you, clearly remembering it, too.

“Well,” you say, voice deliberately airy, “I should get going. Don’t want to be late for class.”

Yoongi nods, and his eyes follow you as you move toward the door. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little smug in the way he’s gawking at you. Man like him is used to being surrounded by gorgeous women, being in an industry that demands being perfect, and yet he seemed enamored by a perfectly imperfect you. How you like that?

Wow he’s still watching. Well if he wants this as spank bank material tonight, then by all means, you consent for him to stare.

“Have fun at Pilates,” he says, his tone a little too even.

You pause at the door, glancing over your shoulder with a triumphant grin. “See you later, Yoongi.”

You have to admit, work has been pretty inspiring since you and Yoongi started hinting at your attraction to each other. Coffee breaks now feel like mini dates. Over steaming cups of latte (americano for him) that now tastes a little less shitty, your knuckles brush sometimes—just a quick touch, but neither of you pulls away. And even though it’s brief, it’s starting to mean everything.

It’s becoming more obvious: you’re both opening up, letting each other in, swapping stories that are equal parts random and revealing. He tells you about the black cat he ‘borrows’ from a friend when he feels lonely. You tell him about your complicated relationship with your dad, how it’s still a work in progress. Each conversation feels like another layer peeled back, another step toward something deeper. Hopefully.

But then, of course, your inner saboteur decides to join the party. You start wondering what this really is for him. A way to pass the time, maybe, cause he’s just bored in the house. You know the kind of life Yoongi’s used to, but since he’s forced to step away, and here you are... just there, conveniently available. A little distraction. Maybe that’s all this is. You think about how easily he could pick you up like a little plaything and tickle you whenever he likes. Cos, damn, you know he knows that you are very much tickled.

He hasn’t asked for your number. And honestly? You don’t think you have the guts to ask for his. But it’s not even just about guts–you think you’re a plenty empowered woman. There’s the NDA—a whole ass contract hanging over your head, making sure you won’t cross. You’re stuck, confined to these small, controlled moments within the four walls of work.

And that’s what gnaws at you the most: you don’t know if this could ever become something real outside of this space. Your lives, your worlds—they’re just too different.

Your Saturday looks a little different today. Tonight, you find yourself in Chae’s place of work. You’re wearing a pretty little dress, paired with cute heels that make you feel amazing, even if they pinch a little. Your hair is softly curled at the ends, one delicate pin securing it behind your ear on one side, leaving the rest to fall naturally. It’s simple but enough to make you feel put together, like you belong here, even if this whole scene is a bit fancier than your usual.

The soft hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses fill the air as you settle in at the bar, a glass of sparkling wine in hand. The lighting is low, giving the restaurant an intimate, almost cozy feel despite its sleek, upscale design. Dark wood tables, candles flickering on every surface, and the kind of velvet seating that makes you want to sink right in. It’s posh, but not stuffy—like the kind of place where you can have a real conversation without having to shout.

You take a slow sip of your drink, eyes drifting around the room. The bar is polished marble, gleaming under the soft pendant lights that hang overhead, casting a gentle glow on everything. The vibe is understated but undeniably chic, with just enough buzz in the air to remind you that this is a special night.

You imagine Chae in the kitchen, totally in her element, probably yelling at someone to get the garnish right while she’s knee-deep in prepping plates. Too busy to talk, but that’s fine. You didn’t mind. You’re here for the food, the drinks, and to support her.

A guy, about your age, slides onto the barstool next to you. “Hey. You here for the friends and family thing, too?” he asks casually, although it’s obvious since it is a private event after all. You know he’s just trying to make conversation.

You smile politely, nodding. “Yeah, my best friend works here. You?”

“Cousin of one of the line chefs,” he replies. “No idea who most of these people are, but free food, right?”

You chuckle. He seems harmless enough—just someone to pass the time with while you wait for the meal to start. The conversation flows easily, touching on casual topics. Nothing too deep, but enough to make you feel at ease in the unfamiliar crowd.

Then, out of nowhere, a ripple passes through the room. You notice heads turning, subtle whispers growing louder as two men were ushered to a VIP section at the far end of the restaurant. You exchange a glance with the guy–Jungwon, curiosity piqued.

“Who’s that?” Jungwon asks, craning his neck slightly. “Some kind of celebrity?”

You squint in their direction, but couldn’t quite make them out. “No idea, but they must be, with that kind of posse.”

Just then, your phone buzzes in your hand. You glance down, seeing a message come through.

Chae: fuck ur bf and my bf are here!!! Omgggg

Your eyebrows shot up. You quickly type back:

You: Wtf are you talking abtt?!

But before you can get a response, you are ushered into the main dining area with the rest of the guests. The low lighting and beautifully set tables were designed for an intimate evening, and you found yourself seated at a small two-person table with Jungwon due to limited seating.

As you settle in, your vision drift towards the VIP section again, this time landing directly on someone you didn’t expect to see. Min Yoongi was sitting there with none other than Jeon Jungkook.

Your breath catches in your throat. Oh. Well, that explains the murmurs. The sudden shift in atmosphere. And Chae’s message.

You weren’t expecting this—him. Not here. Not tonight.

You tell yourself to look away, play it cool, but your eyes keep darting back, betraying you. Yoongi hasn’t seen you yet—thank God—but it’s only a matter of time.

You’re hit with a wave of something—excitement? Nerves? Probably both. This was supposed to be a low-key night, a chance to support Chae and enjoy some free food and drinks. Instead, it feels like the stakes just shot up, like you’re tightroping between wanting to be invisible and being seen.

You take a steadying breath, flicking back to him one last time. He’s still talking with Jungkook, leaning back in his seat, completely unaware of the fact that your world just tilted slightly off its axis.

Suddenly, Yoongi’s head turns, almost like he can feel your frantic energy. He sweeps the room, pausing when they find you. And for a split second, there’s something there—recognition, a softness in his expression, the kind of look that makes your heart stutter. His lips lift at the corners, like he’s about to smile, and for that brief moment, you let yourself believe in it.

But then, just as quickly, his gaze shifts. His expression cools, like a door closing in slow motion. The familiarity drains, replaced by something distant. Detached. He nods at you—polite, formal, like he’s acknowledging a colleague at a meeting. Nothing more. Before looking away.

Wow. That’s cold.

That tiny, hopeful flicker you’d felt just a moment ago? Gone. You weren’t expecting some grand gesture, but this? This feels like... nothing. Just a nod. Just formality.

You shift in your seat, fingers tightening around the stem of your wine glass, feeling like shit.

Of course. Of course it’s like this. Why wouldn’t it be? Here you are, your first taste of seeing him outside your office bubble and your inner saboteur was right.

It’s disappointing, but not surprising. This was always confined to the office, wasn’t it? That’s where it was convenient. But out in the world, with people around and the difference of your class apparent? Just look–he’s in the VIP section and you’re… not. It’s different. He’s different. And maybe you are too, suddenly unsure of where you stand with him.

Was he annoyed? Uncomfortable that you’re here? You replay the moment in your head, trying to decipher the brief look on his face before it shifted. You’ve always had a tendency to overthink things, but still... that coolness in his gaze lingers in your mind, and you can’t shake the feeling that something has changed.

You glance away, pretending to focus on the glass in your hand, but the truth is, you don’t know how to feel. You don’t want to feel disappointed, but you do. And it’s hitting you harder than it should, because maybe, deep down, you wanted more.

But this is your first glimpse of what happens in the real world. And right now, it feels like you’re just two strangers in a crowded room.

The first course arrives, pulling you out of your thoughts, and you try to refocus, letting the taste of the food ground you for a while. You chat lightly with Jungwon, making small talk about the meal, the restaurant, anything that keeps your mind occupied. Every now and then, though, your thoughts drift back to Yoongi, to that cool, distant nod, and the wound in your heart expands. You try to shake it off, tell yourself it’s nothing, but fuck—it stings.

Your phone buzzes again with a message from Chae. You excuse yourself from Jungwon and pull your phone out.

Chae: If u don’t intro me to Min Yoongi, friendship over!!!!!!! Also jk but ik you havent met him yet. Omg im guna freakkk

You sigh. Of course. Chae doesn’t know. She hasn’t seen the awkward distance that’s already wedged itself between you and Yoongi tonight. And you definitely don’t want to be the one to burst her bubble. This is her night—a huge one for her culinary career. The last thing you want to do is drag your personal worries into it.

You type up a simple reply.

You: On it. Stand by. And pls act normal

Fuckkk how are you going to do this? You excuse yourself to the powder room. Looking up at yourself in the mirror, you adjust your lipstick and clean up the edges with the pad of your ring finger.

Yoongi’s a good person, you remind yourself, your mind running through every little moment you’ve shared with him at the office. He won’t embarrass you in public. That’s not who he is. But still, there’s that nagging doubt in the back of your mind—the one that’s been whispering ever since you saw his face earlier, the way his warmth slipped into something more distant.

And if he does embarrass you? Well... maybe that’s your answer. Maybe tonight is the night you get the clarity you’ve been secretly waiting for.

You come back to Jungwon wiping his mouth with the table napkin, chewing the last bits of his mains. Before you can even politely excuse yourself, he gulps his drink in one go, “Hey, I think I'm actually gonna bounce.”

So that’s that. You text Chae and make your way toward Yoongi’s table, heartbeat picking up speed.

Chae: I’m goin in. Get your ass ready.

As you approach, Beefy—the bodyguard you recognize from past run-ins inside the office—gives you a friendly nod and lets you through without hesitation. You give him a grateful smile before turning your attention to Yoongi and Jungkook. Jungkook is mid-conversation, laughing at something Yoongi has said, but as soon as you appear, their heads turn toward you.

You give a small wave and a smile. “Hey.”

Yoongi’s eyes meet yours for a split second, and he gives you a smile that reminds you of that day you first met. Forced. Awkward. Tight-lipped.

Fuck. You’re starting to feel like such an idiot. Maybe this was a mistake—maybe he really doesn’t want to associate with you outside of work. You should’ve read the room.

But before your thoughts can spiral any further, Jungkook thankfully steps in. “I’m Jungkook, and you are?”

You give him your name, a small, polite bow. You’re about to explain who you are, but before you can, Jungkook’s face light up with recognition.

“Ohhh, wait,” he says pointing a finger at you, a grin spreading across his face, “You’re Yoongi-hyung’s boss.”

You freeze. Boss? His grin widens, and suddenly, there’s a teasing glint in his eyes as he flicks his gaze between you and Yoongi like he’s just connected some dots.

Yoongi shoots him a look, something caught between exasperation and warning. It’s like you can hear the silent “Don’t.” Jungkook ignores it, his smile only growing, and so is your confusion.

“That would be me,” you say, trying to hold onto your composure, giving Jungkook a nod while feeling completely out of the loop.

“Hyung, why didn’t you tell me she was going to be here?” Jungkook’s tone is light, but there’s an unspoken challenge beneath it, like he’s teasing Yoongi in a way that only someone who knows him well could. The silent back-and-forth between them is hard to miss, and it leaves you feeling both confused and embarrassed. There’s clearly something you’re not getting.

Yoongi just shrugs, his voice more detached than you’d like. “I had no idea.”

You furrow your brows, trying to make sense of what’s happening. Jungkook gives Yoongi a curious look, as if they’re having an entire conversation through telepathy. You, meanwhile, are just standing there, completely out of place and unsure whether you should laugh or back away slowly.

And Yoongi hasn’t even addressed you directly in the midst of all this. God, you’re so embarrassed.

At this point, you figure it’s time to bail. You gave it a shot, and it feels like Yoongi doesn’t even want you here. Sorry, Chae. “Anyway, it was nice to meet you Jungkook, but I should just—” You jerk your thumb over your shoulder, already planning your exit.

“No, no!” Jungkook interrupts quickly, grinning like he’s enjoying this way too much. “If you’re here, you should definitely join us,” he says, gesturing to the empty spot next to Yoongi. “There’s more than enough room.”

You hesitate, but before you can even respond, Yoongi speaks up, his tone calm but there’s something else beneath it—something strained. “She’s with someone already.”

You blink. Someone?

Ah. Now it makes sense.

You glance at Yoongi, the pieces falling into place. He thinks you’re here with someone, like on a date. Is it really why he’s been acting distant? Hmm. It’s almost funny now, if it wasn’t so painfully awkward.

You clear your throat. “Actually, I just met Jungwon here. I came alone.” You explain it to Jungkook, but really, the person who needs to hear it is Yoongi. “And he already left, so I’d be down to join if it’s cool with you….”

Jungkook’s grin is immediate, and he pats the seat next to Yoongi like it’s been waiting for you all along. “Of course! Sit with us.”

You hesitate for a second longer, glancing at Yoongi to see how he’s reacting. His expression shifts—softens—and before you know it, he’s pulling the chair out for you, at the same time Jungkook gets a call.

“Be right back,” Jungkook says and disappears into the hall towards the back of the restaurant.

You settle into the chair beside Yoongi, feeling this strange tension. You glance at him, but Yoongi avoids you, eyes fixed on the table.

But then, just barely, you notice it—the faintest tug at the corner of his lips. It’s subtle, but it’s there. He’s smiling, the kind of smile that betrays him. The kind that says, Yeah, you caught me. And it confirms what you guessed was happening: he was actually kinda jealous. Which is ridiculous, because why would he feel that?!

He breathes out a soft fuck, before he runs a hand across his scalp. It’s almost funny now and you can’t help but shake your head at him, a small pout playing on your lips. You hear a “sorry” in the deepest register you’ve heard for his voice.

Neither of you says a word after that, but the moment speaks for itself. There’s a quiet agreement to let it go.

“So…” you start.

Yoongi clears his throat. “Can I get you something to drink?”

You blink, a little surprised, but grateful for the gesture. “Just a glass of white, please.”

He nods, finally looking at you for a second before signaling the waiter. His voice is calm, easy, as he orders for you. He orders a whiskey neat.

As the waiter walks away, Yoongi leans back, glancing at you briefly before looking away again. He doesn’t say much, but the small smile that lingers on his lips tells you enough. He knows he got caught acting a fool. And he’s not quite sure how to deal with it.

And honestly, you don’t know what to feel about it, either. It’s… madness, really.

When your drink arrives, the clouds seem to part. You extend your flute towards him, and he clinks it with his lowball and you both take a sip, peering at each other through your own glasses.

Jungkook sits back down at the table, and the conversation picks up almost immediately. Jungkook leans forward, flashing a bright smile. “So, what’s it like working with him?” He jerks his head in Yoongi’s direction, boba-like orbs twinkling mischievously.

Yoongi sighs, leaning back in his chair, his usual calm demeanor settling in. “Stop,” he mutters under his breath, already sensing where this is going.

You laugh softly. “He’s not so bad. Actually, he’s really helpful.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up. “Helpful? Yoongi-hyung? Are we talking about the same guy?” He’s clearly enjoying himself, teasing while keeping the mood light.

Yoongi shoots him a look, shaking his head. “I’m right here.”

But Jungkook grins, ignoring Yoongi’s protest. “Nah, you sure he isn’t sleeping on the job?”

You chuckle, nodding. “Well, he does use his lunches for sleeping more than eating.”

Yoongi groans. “Great. Love this conversation.”

“I knew it,” Jungkook laughs, before drinking the rest of his drink like a shot.

You can’t help but snicker, but there’s something in you that feels a little protective of Yoongi. “To be fair, he is helpful. You should see him in the office. Always stepping in when I need something fixed.”

Yoongi’s lips twitch, fighting back a small smile. “See? Helpful.”

Jungkook just raises an eyebrow at him. “Wow, look at you, hyung. Gunning for Employee of the Month.”

“It’s literally just him in my department. He already wins by default.” you bump Yoongi with your shoulders to coax a tiny smile from him, and you’re successful.

Conversations flow naturally after that, going towards the meal you just had (which Chae would be happy to know got rave reviews) onto other things.

“So, where are you from?” Jungkook asks.

“Busan,” you say with a grin, catching the flicker of excitement in his eyes.

“No way!” Jungkook says, clapping his hands together. “I’m from Busan, too!” He leans in, his enthusiasm infectious. “Do you know that bungeoppang stall at Gukje Market?”

You blink in surprise. “The one with the darling ahjumma with the big hair and red lipstick? I used to go there after school.”

“Oh shit, really?” Jungkook lets out a laugh. “I still dream about that mmm...”

“The ahjumma?” Yoongi asks, straight-faced and full of shit.

Jungkook’s expression sours and you giggle.

“You’re just jealous you’re missing out, hyung,” Jungkook says, turning to Yoongi with a teasing grin. “Busan people know what’s up.”

Yoongi doesn't say anything, just looks at both of you with amusement as you share a high five.

Before Jungkook can continue, Chae finally approaches the table, in her crisp chef’s uniform and a bright smile on her face.

You introduce her quickly, and she immediately fits in, shaking hands with both of them. You admire the composure, really, considering she is meeting her favorite people.

But what she says next surprises you, when she stops being “loyal ARMY” and starts being “protective best friend.”

“I’ve heard so much about you,” Chae says to Yoongi, her tone light, but knowing.

Yoongi looks momentarily caught off guard, but before he can say anything, Jungkook jumps in, grinning wide. “Oh yeah? Well, I’ve heard a lot about her too,” he says, nodding toward you.

Huh?!

You feel your face heat up, and Yoongi glances at you, clearly not expecting the conversation to turn on him like that. “Wonder why you two talk about each other so much,” Jungkook muses, tapping his chin dramatically.

You and Yoongi exchange a look, both of you feeling the awkwardness creep in. You try to laugh it off, but it’s clear both of you are embarrassed.

Chae, despite starting this whole ripple, decides to shift gears to give you a reprieve, “Anyway, I hear you’re part-timing in the military kitchen, Jungkook. I’ve been dying to know what you think of our food, as a fellow professional.”

Jungkook beams, clearly thrilled to be praised for his culinary pursuits. “Oh, it’s fuckin’ phenomenal. Though—that,” he points at one of the dishes on the table, “that’s way better than anything I’ve had lately.”

Chae’s face lights up. “Ah, that makes me so happy. That’s one of my original recipes. What did you like about it?”

As the two of them dive into an enthusiastic conversation about food, you feel a shift under the table. At first, you think it’s nothing—a stray napkin, maybe. But then it happens again, more deliberate this time. You glance down, and—oh shit, that’s Yoongi’s hand.

Your breath catches for a second, your heart doing a little flip. You glance at Yoongi, but he’s still keeping his attention on the conversation between Chae and Jungkook. Still, there’s something there—something softer—that he doesn’t quite hide.

He’s slow, careful, like he’s testing whether you’ll pull away. You freeze for a second, your pulse kicking up. His fingers brush yours lightly before he gently takes your hand in his, slipping it under the cloth of the table like it’s a secret just between the two of you.

Your heart soars. He’s talking to Chae, pretending everything is normal, but this? This is definitely not nothing. You glance at him, but he’s looking ahead, calm and composed as always, matching the tenderness in the way his thumb strokes over your knuckles.

You squeeze his hand back. It feels like the confirmation you’ve both been waiting for, even though neither of you says anything.

As the night winds down, the crowd starts thinning out. You wait near the entrance for Chae to finish up, scrolling absently on your phone. You’d figured Yoongi left through the back at some point after he and Jungkook were requested to tour the kitchens. But then you glance up and there he is walking towards you.

He stands close, gaze steady on you, like he’s been waiting for this moment. “I’ll drive you home,” he says, his voice low, like it’s not even a question.

You’re caught a little off guard. “You don’t have to—Chae and I were just—”

“I’ll drive you home,” he repeats, softer this time but just as firm. There’s something in the way he says it that makes it hard to argue. It’s not just the offer—it’s the way he’s looking at you, like he’s already decided.

And because God knows you’re so weak for this man, it’s almost pathetic how you just nod wordlessly.

Chae appears, barely catching the tail end of the conversation. Her eyes dart between you and Yoongi, and then—because of course she can’t resist—her jaw drops dramatically.

She pulls her phone out, putting on the most ridiculous performance. “Yeah? I’ll come over!” She pretends to talk to someone, then covers the phone mic, turning to you. “I won’t be home. Don’t wait up. You have the whole apartment to yourself, all night.”

You shoot her a look, and she gives you a wink before making herself scarce. You groan inwardly. Way to be subtle, Chae. Really nailed it.

Yoongi chuckles under his breath, the faintest smile tugging at his lips. He motions to the car waiting outside. “Come on,” he says, and just like that, you’re following him out into the cool night air.

The car pulls up, sleek and black, with a driver already waiting inside. Yoongi opens the door for you, and you slide in, nerves buzzing in your chest. He slips in beside you, the driver closing the door for him.

The city lights blur past as the car moves through the streets, and for a moment, you’re both quiet, just watching the world pass by. But then, you feel it—his hand, creeping over the seat like it’s found a familiar place, slowly sliding over yours.

Your breath hitches as his fingers intertwined with yours again, his touch warm and steady. There’s no hesitation this time. His grip is a little firmer, more certain.

“Come closer,” he murmurs, his voice quiet, but the way he says it sends a shiver through you.

You hesitate, more out of nerves than anything. “It’s ok,” you mutter, half-playful, half-nervous. “I’m fine here.”

Yoongi lets out a low chuckle, the sound deep and amused. He doesn’t push it, but his thumb strokes over your hand again, like he’s perfectly content with the small bit of contact for now. Still, you feel the tension simmering between you—the quiet pull you’ve been dancing around for weeks, maybe months.

The rest of the drive passes in a blur, your thoughts spinning. When the car pulls up in front of your apartment, you take a deep breath, trying to ground yourself. You know what comes next. You’re psyching yourself up to make the move, but Yoongi’s voice echoes in the stillness inside the car.

“Good night,” he says, watching you with that look that makes your heart race. “You look really pretty tonight.”

You feel the blush creeping up your neck, “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”

He nods, a boyish grin on his face.

And before you can stop yourself, the words spill out. “Yoongi, do you... want to come up for ramen?”

The second it leaves your mouth, you cringe inwardly. Ramen? Really? But it’s out there now, and you can’t take it back.

Yoongi’s tongue skims the seam of his lips before it curves into a knowing smile. “Ramen, huh?”

You clear your throat, trying to salvage whatever dignity you have left. “Yeah... you know. If you’re hungry.”

There’s a beat of silence, then Yoongi unbuckles his seatbelt, his eyes darkening ever so slightly. “Ramen sounds good.”

A/N: So....... ramen, eh???? Please lmk what you thought about this chapter <3 Any favorite parts? Personally, it was Yoongi drooling over MC's gym fit. That was hella fun to write.

Thanks again for reading this you lovely human!

Important poll right here Chapter Four >

Taglist: @glossdebut @kam9404 @mar-lo-pap @nnybtitts08 @granataepfelchen

@perfectiondazesworld @wobblewobble822 @yoongznme @caressesurloceanlove @rinkud

@kayleefriedchicken @jajabro @tinytan-gerine @xxbibin1208 @forevercarpediem227

@yoongicatagenda @someshinesomedont @marnz1990 @iheartshopping @confidentjus

@queenbloody @whydoeyecare @sadroses98 @curlyquennn

@sexytholland @kiki-zb @hiddlestandom

Hope I didn't miss anybody, but if I did please shout at me in the comments. 💕

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girliemattitude · 11 months ago

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—-It’s okay, no one will hear us babe - — M.S - —don’t steal it <3

A/N: This is my first time writing something like this so please be nice<3 A/N (2): This is my work please don’t steal it :)

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Matt and his brothers were felling really homesick so they decided to go back to Boston for a month, which you totally understood even though you knew you were gonna miss your boyfriend like crazy.

You guys would face time and message each other everyday, all day but by the third week Matt couldn’t stand it anymore. He mentioned how much he missed you to his mom and she suggested him that he should bring you there, she adores you so the idea of having you in her house for a week was a thrilling for her.

Matt didn’t hesitated and he bought you a plane ticket from L.A to Boston that same day, you were shocked and told him that he shouldn’t have spent that much money on you but you were also happy that you’ll get to see him.

You arrived very early in the morning and the boys picked you up at the airport, you had an early breakfast from McDonald’s drive thru and then y’all head to their house, you said hello to his parents and then you and Matt slept and cuddle til noon.

That same day at night Matt got a little touchy with you but you pushed him away, you didn’t want to, you have missed his touch so much but you couldn’t bare the idea of his parent hearing you.

Right now is your second night at his house, it’s 3:30 in the morning and you guys are still awake, he’s cuddling you from behind, his left arm is on your waist, his hand stroking gently your stomach and his face is place on the crook of your neck. You could feel his breath near you and you felt warm, suddenly he started to leave sloppy kisses on your shoulder and neck, his grip on your waist tightened.

To say you felt horny was a statement, you wanted nothing more than to role over and ripped his clothes off but you were at his parents house and you felt like you were disrespecting them. His left hand travel from your stomach down to the hem of your pijama shorts so you put your hand on top of him to stop him, “Matt we can’t, everyone’s gonna hear us”.

“It’s okay, no one will hear us babe, just relax”, he said pushing your hand away before his went under your shorts caressing slowly your clit that’s only covered by the thin fabric of your panties.

You let out a soft and sensual moan when he pushes your panties aside and his fingers moved up and down trough your folds, his lips never leaving your neck.

He keeps teasing your folds with his middle finger and his thumb is circling on your clit, pressing it gently. You move to lay on your back so he could have better access to you, he looks up at you for permission and you nod, he doesn’t waste anymore time and he inserts his middle finger deep inside of you, “gosh, you are so wet for me” , “you have no idea how much I’ve missed to have you like this” , Matt whispers.

Your only response being a moan that came out louder than expected so you cover your mouth with your hand, he fastens his movements and inserts another finger on you, his right hand are squeezing your boobs and you can’t help but squirm from the pleasure, struggling to stay quiet, “Maatt”, you moan, “it feels so good”, the thoughts of being at his parents house are long forgotten as you place your hand under his boxers and start to stroke his hard dick returning the favor, both of your hands moving at a rapid pace at the same time , you turned your head to look at him and you kissed him hard as you continue to pleasure each other, the only noise on the room being your shaky breaths and the sound of his fingers going in and out of your wet pussy.

“Y/n…fuck I think I’m gonna cum”, he says against her lips.

“Me too, just go a little faster please”, you said entering your climax and rubbing your lips together to muffle your moans.

Matt’s movements increased even more and you felt his dick twitch a little as he tenses his body and lets out soft whimpers as he cums, your orgasm also arriving just in time.

You ride out your high between his fingers and you both stayed there for a minute to catch up your breaths, he removes his finger from inside of you and he licks them looking at you before he touches your face and gives you a passionate kiss, “I love you so much” , he says pulling away from the kiss, “I love you more”, you say cuddling him, you let out a yawn and you close your eyes tiredly on his arms.

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#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matt x reader #matt sturniolo smut #imagine #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo

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hystixia · 5 months ago

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-> WRITING COMMISSIONS <-

-> if you’re interested in supporting me in any way please read below for details and prices. reblogs are appreciated and any type of help or support are appreciated as well.

i never thought i’d have to do this but my living situation has gotten increasingly worse and i am facing being potentially homeless sooner rather than later. i don’t have a job due to no sort of transportation and any money i had originally saved up has been pocketed by my parents and i am unable to get back nor am i even allowed to touch the money i did rightfully earn. so i am reaching out in this way to make some sort of money to get by and survive at this point. any type of help is greatly appreciated and i thank you for even reading this at all. it means a lot :,)

-> PAYMENT METHODS <-

my cashapp is $hystixia

my paypal is @hystixia

cashapp & paypal are the only ways of sending payment at the moment. these are the only options for commissioning for now.

-> COMMISSION DETAILS <-

commissions will always be open. there are no slots or deadlines to meet to get a commission. feel free to get one whenever and if u want to!! if you’re interested in commissioning please read the details below and dm me!! dms are always open for any questions during the process as well so don’t be scared to ask abt anything to do with your commission! :)

will do: nsfw, sfw, dark content, long fics/oneshots, chapters ( for more info check below ) + potentially more. can be discussed in dms!!

$10 for 1k words, $20 for 2k words, etc. every thousand words is $10 basically. if it goes over the commissioned amount (example: you pay for 2k but it’s nearly 3k by the end of it) you will not be charged extra.

if you would like to see chapters for rampage come out sooner you can also send tips ranging from $5 or more to help out in small ways and also get more chapters way quicker!

payment is sent after discussing details and specifics + a rough short draft/snippet is shown to confirm that you’re satisfied with what you will receive in full. commissions may take anytime between a day to a couple weeks. like i mentioned before i’m struggling terribly right now and so its even harder to find time to write but i promise i will get any and all commissions out as as i possibly am able to!!

your commission will be posted on my tumblr & ao3 & quotev once finished. i own all rights to my works and do not allow nor consent to my works — commissioned or not — being reposted on any platform, copied, stolen or any other form of plagiarism. ur identity will remain anonymous when ur commission is published unless you want your identity to be public (example: “this was commissioned by hystixia!”)

if you commission anything that falls under suggestive content, nsfw or dark content you will have to send photo proof of your age via id. you can block out all information besides your birthdate. that’s all that i need to see to verify that you are a legal adult. if you cannot provide proof of being an adult then i will refuse to accept your commission.

once payment has been made and i have started working on your commission, there will be no refunds allowed. so please be positive you want to commission something and you’re happy with the draft i offer before paying.

i’m sure i’m probably missing some things as i’ve never had to do this and i’m sure this is terribly formatted and set up so i do apologize for the sloppy format :,) i do however appreciate all of you for all the support you’ve given me thus far and i am sorry for coming to u all in such a way. i never thought i’d be in this position but here we are. if you’ve read this far i thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to read through all of this. any type of help is appreciated whether its thru commissions, tips, reblogs or anything of the sort. i appreciate every single one of you for all you’ve given me :,) you truly have no idea the impact u’ve all left on my life since i first started writing fics on tumblr. i hope u all have a wonderful day/night wherever you are <3

#writing commissions #commissions open #emergency commissions #creepypasta x reader #jeff the killer x reader #i hate to put this in tags but.. exposure helps a lot :’)#jtk x reader #jeff the killer smut #creepypasta smut #my commissions

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loggiepj · 2 years ago

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Hey there! ❤

I'm that person you saw the other day!

1. I can turn a person into literature

2. I enjoy making fanfics (mostly about Wanda, although I also wrote some fanfics about Hermione, Wayhaught, Rooney and Cara, which were posted only on Wattpad)

3. Bi and proud 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️💁‍♀️🌈

4. I'm also an awkward introverted person, so I'm not really good with conversations.

5. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for more silly posts and boring updates about my life 😅

Email me @ [email protected] 🙃🙃🙃

If you guys also want to support me, my ebook Blind Date Gone Wrong is now available for download on Beebly PH app.

Also, my book Her Brother's Murderer is now available for pre-order. Please see my post for more details. Thank you! 😊

As most of you can tell, I've only started using Tumblr this year to read more fanfics about Wanda, so I'm still struggling on how to properly post a story here. Bear with me 😅

Finally, here is the long-awaited

MASTERLIST

Wanda Maximoff

SHORT STORIES

Untitled - Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15

Cheerleader Wanda x Nerd Fem Reader

- Crush

- Are We On A Date?

- Intimate Walks

- Jealousy, Jealousy

- Moral Support?

- Just To Be With You

- Green Eyes

- For Your Eyes Only

- Almost

- First Kiss Kiss

DRABBLES / ONE SHOTS

Drabble # 1

My First Love

Drabble #2

You're Not My Type

Blades and Bullets

I Was Your Favorite

she broke her own heart

one day

illicit affairs part 1 , part 2, part 3, part 4, final part

SERIES

Forbidden - Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 (inactive)

Elizabeth Olsen

ONE SHOTS

lizzie

Cersei Lannister

SERIES

To Love A Lannister - Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

If you want to read more, I also have published stories on the following writing platflorms:

Wattpad

Ao3

I truly appreciate your continued support in reading my stories. You can help me create more stories by supporting my writing thru this link.

Good day to you all! 😘

#wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda #wanda angst #short prompt #enemies to lovers #maria hill x reader #cersei lannister #cersei lannister x reader #game of thrones #g!p reader #elizabeth olsen #angst #a song of ice and fire

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hawkinshighdropout · 1 year ago

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The Weigh Down.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x (female) Reader

Summary: You are working on overdrive at all times, pushing yourself beyond your limits as keeping busy was the only way you could keep those negative thoughts at bay. It all comes crashing down around you when another panic attack hits, your boyfriend Eddie tries to sail you through the storm.

Warnings: No major warnings, the theme of this is mental health and anxiety so if that triggers you, please give this a miss. This is just angst/fluff content. Unless you count a couple of curse words as needing a warning? Idk, I haven’t written fanfics in like 8 years so I’m a little rusty…

Note/Request: Requested by anonymous. “Hi!! I loved your fic ab Eddie with the s/o with anxiety and just shutting down it really hit home for me. Recently I’ve been working myself too hard and not taking any breaks and I know I have been, but I feel useless if I’m not doing something. When I’m not doing anything it sends me into a panic attack. Could you write something ab Eddie with a gf who goes thru this sorta thing? It would be such a comfort to me to imagine Eddie helping his love through an anxiety attack. If you’re not comfortable writing it no worries at all! but if you are thank you so much in advance 💜”

Word Count: 2k

Send me prompts to write about!

“Babe, will you sit down?!” Eddie groans, looking up from his magazine to see you scurrying around the room of his trailer as you tidy up after yourselves.

Eddie normally lived in a bit of a mess, and you learned to deal with it, but times like these when your anxiety was already high? You had to busy yourself with cleaning as a distraction. You just needed a mindless task to be getting on with to keep you out of your own head for a little while.

His voice crackles through the mild disassociation, causing you to look across at him with a puzzled look on your face, hands currently in the process of throwing away his recycling into the designated sack in your other palm.

Stopping in your tracks, mid motion of throwing away a bottle, you huff. “Ed, this place is a mess, the least I could do is clean some of it up, it’s getting ridiculous.”

“That can be done another day, you don’t need to always be doing something, you can just sit back and relax, it’s not a crime.” Eddie rolls his eyes fondly, closing his magazine and focusing across at you whilst you stay frozen in time.

“I need to get it done now!” you snap, completely unintentionally.

Eddie looked up at you with wide eyes, you never snapped at him. The room suddenly became filled with tension and Eddie felt as if he was now needing to walk on eggshells to avoid pissing you off any further.

Slowly raising from the bed, he takes the couple of steps towards you to close the gap, choosing his words carefully before he cupped your cheek to comfort you.

“What’s this all about, hm?” he asks tenderly, searching your eyes for an explanation.

It took seconds before your eyes filled with tears and Eddie’s arms suddenly wrapped around your own in a supportive embrace, shushing you affectionately as he pressed multiple kisses to the very top of your head. He still had no idea what was going on, it had gone zero to one hundred in seconds, but he figured he would support you now, ask questions later.

His fingers cupping the back of your head as his fingernails would scratch your scalp lovingly, you grip the sides of his shirt to make sure he didn’t pull away, rubbish bag dropping to your feet in an instant.

Your sudden crying only got worse from there, you hiccup, get all snotty, hyperventilate a little and truly struggle to breathe or grasp onto full sentences at all. You knew this routine, it was the start of your panic attack rearing it’s complex head. You had seen the warning signs the past couple of hours, the dissociation, the mood swings, the fidgeting, the increased levels of resting anxiety, all of which had come to this violent crescendo.

Eddie had witnessed this before, he was used to assisting you through them, but they didn’t ever not catch him by surprise. You were good at masking them or masking the build up to them at least, you couldn’t hide the main event.

“I’m only good for something when I’m being helpful…” you manage to hiccup out after a short amount of time, your words stinging his chest as he truly felt for you, squeezing you tighter.

“That’s not true, sweetheart. You’re great the way you are, even if you’re just sitting about and giving yourself the time and space to relax. You have a crazy intense schedule, you don’t need to come home and work overdrive, you’re going to burn out… Like this,” he mumbles into your hair.

“But, things need to be done, Eddie! I need to get them done!” you cry out in despair.

“Baby, they will get done. Just not right now, and not by you.” He comforts you, doing his best to make sure that he isn’t being too dismissive and making things worse for you.

“I’m only useful when I’m being useful,” you whimper, face hidden in his chest.

“Honey, listen to me. You need to stop putting the value of your worth on the level of your productivity. You have a lot on your plate at all times, wearing yourself into the ground isn’t going to benefit anyone. Do you really think I wanna see you getting worked up like this over a few water bottles? No. You need to go to school, yes. You need to do homework, yes. You need to eat, shower, drink water, yes. Those are the things you have to do, anything else? Those things can wait, those things aren’t meant to be sink or swim, anything outside of the things that keep you alive are optional.” He coos, stroking your back in soothing circles.

You stay silent and let him talk, taking long and shallow breaths as you were trying to soothe the hyperventilating and to calm down your breathing. You always appreciated his kind words, but you couldn’t think rationally in times like these. Attacks like this just trap your rational thought in a wooden box and throw away the key, leaving only fear and dizziness to remain, it was debilitating.

“Do you have a list of the things you needed to do today?” he asks, pulling back to look down at you, kissing your forehead in the process as you give a small nod.

“Can I see the list please, sweetheart?” he asks, another nod from you. You retract one hand from around him to fish a small notepad page from your pocket, passing it to your boyfriend and giving him the chance to read it over.

“Okay, so what we’re gonna do is this; you are going to get in my bed, put on my shirt ‘cause I know it soothes you, and you’re gonna listen to the mixtape I made you and I’ll bring you the ice pack to hug just like we practise, yes? I’ll get these chores all tended to, you just sit back and take a breather, okay?” he offers, cupping your chin in his hands and tilting your head up before pecking your lips lightly.

“No, Ed. I… I need to do them,” you whimper, “I don’t want you doing everything for me, then I’ll just feel like more of a burden sitting here whilst you work your ass off, just… let me” you plead.

“Baby girl, no. Listen to me, okay? I will take care of this list, you take care of your pretty little self, okay? The world isn’t going to crumble just because a Munson has been put in charge of a checklist, I’m perfectly capable.” He offers a smug grin, tugging a quiet giggle from you.

You were too exhausted to put up much of a fight, once all the adrenalines had left your body it made you feel depleted and drained. A massive part of you still wanted to argue your case and be the one to complete the tasks you intended, but you knew that in this state that you would only become more worked up and flustered, worsening your cycle.

Eddie went to his closet and tugged out one of his shirts that you adored, assisting you in changing out of your own and into his, guiding you back towards his bed. Tucking you in under the sheets, he disappears for a moment before coming back with an ice pack, placing it on the centre of your chest, a trick he learned to aid the relief of tension during panic attacks like this. Scooping up your Walkman, Eddie changes the cassette to be one filled with your favourite tunes, placing it on your head and hitting play as he kissed your forehead.

He promises to be back shortly, starting the process of cleaning down your checklist. Things included were sort recycling, get more groceries, return study books to the library, and get out the new ones you needed, get a tire change on the van you and Eddie shared, and finally? Make dinner for you both. He could see why you were overwhelmed, you considered all of these small tasks such a large priority that of course back-to-back these would sound daunting to anyone needing to complete them.

Many hours pass before Eddie is coming back through the front door of the trailer, you were sleeping peacefully thanks to the weight of the world that Eddie had removed from your shoulders earlier on. He had done everything on your checklist, it might have taken him longer than you could have done it in, but you weren’t even going to mention that you were just so grateful that he had come and saved the day.

“Wakey wakey, sleepy head.” He whispers as he shuts the bedroom door behind himself, setting his pile of goods on the end of the bed as he tugs off his jacket to get comfortable.

With a reluctant groan, you blink your eyes open and glance in the direction of your man, who was only illuminated by the streetlights seeping through the window. Sitting up in your bed, you place the now-warm ice pack on the nightstand and rub the sleep out of your eyes, yawning a little as you smile tiredly at your excited puppy of a human.

“Okay, so, listen up!” he starts, clapping his palms together just once to get your attention with a grin on his lips, he was clearly very proud of himself, “I took your books back to the library and got the ones you need for class,” he starts, patting the small pile he placed on the bed, “tires are all fixed up, recycling is all outside to be collected, I got a small amount of groceries to keep us going until you are mentally up for coming with me to pick things, annnnnnd,” he says the last word in prolonged sing-song tone, “I got pizza!”

Your stomach groans when you see that there’s a large pizza box at the end of the bed next to the books he had gotten for you, not having had time to eat today due to the stress and sickness you felt, you were glad he had found a good option for dinner.

“You really did it all, hm?” you ask, in mild disbelief that he was able to get through every single task without even calling you once to query something. He nods, sliding the books closer to allow you to read the titles, proving they were the right ones, the corners of your lips curling up into a fond smile.

“Yup! We Munsons are adaptable and reliable!” he laughs to himself, eliciting a giggle from you.

“Thank you, Eddie… Really, thank you.” You start, but he interrupts you with a few sweet kisses to your lips. He didn’t do things for the praise and recognition, he just wanted to ease your struggles and take care of you.

“Hush, princess. I’d do anything for you.” He smiles, kissing you once more.

Your face was bright red from his attention, truly you should be used to it now, but you weren’t ever going to get used to the fact that your boyfriend was a borderline saint. You watch as he’s moving the books somewhere safer, tugging off his jeans and slipping into bed alongside you before he settles the pizza box across both of your laps.

“…. Extra pineapple?” you query about the pizza in front of you.

“Yes, my gorgeous little weirdo, it has extra pineapple.” He snorts, kissing your cheek before he tears off a slice for each of you, tapping the tips of the pizza together in a ‘cheers/toast’ kind of way, making you giggle before you sink your teeth into it with a content groan.

“I love you, Munson.” Your mouth full as you smile brightly up at him.

“Right back at ya, doll.” He smiles, nudging his shoulder with your own fondly.

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y-vna · 11 months ago

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Just so it's clear, one of my big dni crits is this:

TW: My rant includes HEAVY topics of ed (eating disorders) and intentionally starving yourself/unhealthy weight loss 🙁.

This post is also ULTRA long, will definitely contain grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm not going to say 100% everything here is accurate information, as I'm a human and I make mistakes too.

Let me get this clear, I dont mean anyone harm with this post. My intention isn't to hate or attack/hurt anyone to make them feel upset. I know that having an ed is a serious matter. I have friends and family who actively have/had these kinds of eds, so im not uneducated on this subject and I do understand it to a very in-depth degree. This is not to say I know everything about this topic, however.

It is definitely not easy to recover from, and lots of people struggle from it every day. I am NOT saying people with this disorder are any less human than anyone else. I'm saying it's toxic for those who do have it since it actually harms your body a lot, and pushing it on others (not the fact you have it in the first place) is something I don't support.

So respectfully, if you do support/promote eds as a positive thing, or are/follow/interact with blogs who do, BLOCK ME AND DNI. thank you.

I love everyone for who they are inside, regardless of what their body looks like. And I'm telling you right now, as someone who tried so hard to have a perfect body and stop eating bc im super insecure, it's not worth it, and it makes you feel so shitty. I love you, whoever is reading this, no matter what. So please don't change who you are just to make others happy :( <3

So I was looking thru tumblr, and this one post kept getting shown to me where people were talking about basically the idea of: "its worth it to keep losing that undesired weight, you'll see results soon" as like a motivational thing. The tags (straight up tells you it's supposed to be inspo to becoming skinny and supports the idea having an ed is the only way to get a dream bod), and their whole blog had ed encouragement/motivation. To keep...starving, i guess.?? Despite their user being about being strong and healthy, nothing about this is healthy or keeps your body strong.

I didn't decide to write a whole rant about just that part of the post because I didn't start getting super concerned until i read the notes/comments (since i had seen a lot of these 'tw : ed' blogs before already). What I saw was that tons of users were promoting starving yourself as a goal and a good thing, and basically glorifying having an ed. And also using kpop idols with skinny and perfect figures like wonyoung to tell others that (almost a literal direct quote from this user-) 'us ed people don't want to be helped and we won't stop starving ourselves until we reach the weight we want.'

"You see it as negativity cause you're not disordered." KEEP IN MIND THE PERSON THEY'RE TALKING TO USED TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN ED (the screenshot below is the person they were talking to). I understand you can't push people to get help if they don't want it, but you have to draw a line when you start saying that every person with ed doesn't want help, which just isnt true. I looked at their blog, and it was all just calculating how many calories they ate and burned every day. Most of the posts they basically only totaled 300 calories a day. THAT IS SUPER SICK ☹️. An average human needs like 2000+ calories a day. It actively influences people to copy them by posting and blogging this SUPER unhealthy weight loss. It IS NOT positive on any level. It does nothing good for you. You won't feel any happier when you look in the mirror if all you can feel is pure hunger because you won't give your body what it needs. This is so sad to me because all the comments had people trying to ask how to start starving themselves, and every blog I clicked on all had ed triggers on their posts and bios. Some of those blogs were saying NOT to become like them because they can't see themselves recovering now that they're in too deep.

As said by people online who actually had and got through having an ed, they have explained it is very unhealthy and they were glad to recover. So even though I do not have an ed, and you might think I shouldn't be "judging" people who have them, there are plenty of formerly ed diagnosed people who know the bad effect it has on others/had on them because they can accurately relate. You can still educate people on a subject even if you yourself do not have to suffer from it/have it, as long as you're doing it properly with proven facts (literally all credible research you do anywhere backed by science and experts will prove eds aren't healthy). People educate themselves to teach others about other illnesses, ongoing or past wars in history, etc, they don't have firsthand experience with/from. And they can still be just as valid sometimes.

My whole point here is that on tumblr and so many other social media platforms, I keep seeing people (posts like this and whole blogs centered around this stuff,) encouraging (mainly young) girls to stop eating altogether to have a body that society and other people are more satisfied with. That's why, for a while, I also tried to do the same because of the people saying it was a positive thing to gain a bad relationship with food and start counting your calories to be perfect. I'm also someone who struggles with body image and being shamed for gaining weight. But at some point hou need to realize hurting your body and mental state is SO WRONG. NOBODY is perfect. So don't push you or anyone else to be. I learned this, and I get its super hard to ignore the judgment forced onto you by society and your surroundings, but there will be people who appreciate you just how you are now. Like me.

So with all that said, the moral here is:

Don't starve urself (on purpose. Bc some people genuinely have trouble eating and starve themselves non intentionally. I have friends who do this 😭)

You're perfect how u are now without being as slim as your idols (and even K-pop idols don't tell others usually to be like them because they know that their companies forcing them to strictly control their weight isn't something they want fans to look up to).

Don't force (potential) ed on others

Don't encourage unhealthy relationship with your body and food

I do support people with eds, as long as they aren't trying to make it something others should look up to, and aspire to have.

If you are someone who wants to normalize having an ed as healthy or positive, please do not interact with this blog and feel free to block me :(

Thank you for reading, have a good day and ily for whoever is reading this. 💗💖💓💕

#major tw : ed #ed awareness #stop normalizing this kind of stuff #coming from someone who struggles with body image #dni criteria #you're perfect the way you are <33 #body posititivity #educate yourself #educate yourselves #get educated #stop making blogs prommoting ed

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blanketorghost · 1 year ago

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A Taste of Something New (Pt. 2)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Hiiiieee.... finally I have written part 2 of this <3

I only got the motivation after i took the wrong bus back home and had to go thru a 2 hour bus trip teehee

Summary: Against his better judgement, Yuu wants to bring Azul a meaningful souvenir from the scalding sands.

Pairing: Yuu Fujisaki x Azul Ashengrotto (one-sided), Azul Ashengrotto x Jamil Viper (implied, one-sided)

Timeline: During/Post Al'ab Narya and Ch. 4. Pre Ch. 5

Notes: Azul may be OOC? Have never been good at writing him convincingly imho

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"Hmngh... hmph... mrrngh... Henchman! What's the hold up!!"

Grim calls out as he stuffs himself with another samosa, the tiny treat almost looking like a regular loaf of bread in the cat's hands. Yet, it disappears just as quickly as all the other meals and snacks he's been served. And as if that weren't enough, he had yet to be satisfied.

"I'm so sorry about all this..." Yuu mutters at one of the cooks as he hands Grim another tray of freshly baked naan bread and a bowl of baba ghannouj, knowing they'd be gone in seconds despite the agonizing hours it'd taken the Asim's staff to make the everything. Yet, the servant merely shakes his head and laughs.

"Nonesense. Seeing someone eat our food with such gusto is one of the biggest compliments a chef can get, and this isn't anything compared to what we have to prepare for our master's feasts. Please eat freely."

Yuu nods and sits down, a slight blush still dusting his cheeks. He gently takes a piece of naan as splits it, giving the other half to Grim, then dips the soft bread on the sauce, trying to get a healthy portion without spilling all over the expensive clothes.

"Hey, Yuu! Can you taste the pomegranate? I'm sure they added some juice to it!" Without waiting for Yuu to even take a bite and savor the flavor for himself, Grim shoves a pawful of baba ghannouj to his mouth, naan and all.

Goodness, cleaning Grim's fur after this will be hell on earth.

Yuu, with a few coughs, struggles to accept the food without choking. He tries to savor anything other than cat hair and the odd combination of flavors carried with them, all mixed with the baba ghannouj itself. His face turns red, and finally giving up, he chugs some lemonade from the copper cup right beside him. "Grim...! I have hands, I can feed myself." Yuu chides, still coughing a little and covering his mouth.

"But did you taste 'em?!"

"Well..." Yuu trails off, and before Grim can either throw a tantrum or shove another pawful of food into his mouth, another servant comes to the rescue. "Why not try it by itself, then? That way, you can savor the baba ghannouj with and without the naan to compare." She hands both Grim and Yuu a small spoon, and Yuu can't help but mouth off a silent 'thank you' for this small mercy he was given.

"I'm glad you decided to join me in the kitchen." Trey says as he scribbles something on his own notepad, nibbling on a cookie he now knew was called. Ma'amoul— one of Kalim's sibling's favorites. "What changed your mind?"

"Oh, you know..." Yuu shrugs "since Grim made this 'Gourmet club' up, and technically, that makes me its founder too, I'd thought it'd be nice if I contributed to it by gathering up recipes" Yuu says, nonchalantly taking a spoonful of the baba ghannouj. The taste is definitely odd... in a good way. But definitely unlike anything he'd ever had before in either Earth or Twisted Wonderland. He wondered if it would be the same for Azul.

"Why not buy a recipe book, then?"

"Do I look like the kind of person with the money to splurge on books?"

"Weelll...." Trey gives him a smirk— one Yuu had become all too familiar with in the past few months— and eyes him up and down. Of course, if anyone saw Yuu with the robes he had on now, they definitely would've thought he had the same wealth these clothes represented.

At Trey's response, Yuu gives him an unamused, sarcastic laugh and nudges him with his feet. "Hey. If I was slightly more cunning, desperate, or ungrateful, I definitely would've auctioned this off to the best bidder. But have you seen Kalim get sad?"

Trey shakes his head.

"It's heartbreaking. Believe me. And I don't wanna make him sad by selling off his gifts."

"Really? I don't think he'd mind if he knew what it was for."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"Buying your crush a fancy recipe book, obviously."

"Shut up." Yuu toes his friend as Trey snickers, averting his eyes to the chai he was drinking with the cookies. "I don't even know what books he has. I could accidentally buy a duplicate. Besides, the Gourmet club..."

"Uh huh. That's totally the reason why you're here."

"If you keep at it, I'll tell Riddle of all of the Queen's Rules you've broken since we've got here."

"He won't mind. I've got boyfriend privileges."

"Oh, boo." Yuu huffs loudly and looks back down at the table, finally allowing himself to have another spoonful of the baba ghannouj. He takes his time savoring the creamy paste, "Hmn. This is great, actually." Yuu tries to take another bite, but before he even gets it, he notices that the bowl has already been scraped clean. ".... Grim?!" Yuu chastizes his pet/friend/child. "You couldn't even save me a little?"

"I saved you a spoonful!" The cat wiggles his own empty spoon around. "That's already quite generous, if I do say so myself."

"I couldn't even have it with the naan."

"Yeah you did! I gave you some!"

"No, you shoved some into my mouth. That's different."

"Meh. Same difference." Grim shrugs and moves onto the next plate of food, picking up a fork to spear up a kind of meatball. " 'Sides, I've been writing all the things I can taste down like you told me, look!" He waves over a stained piece of paper with barely anything legible in it. "See, Yuu? I'm being super nice right now!"

"Yeah. Super nice." Yuu grumbles as he turns around to look at Trey's notes, hoping he'd take pity on him and share his own findings on Scalding Sands cuisine. "Watcha got there?" He peeks at Trey's notebook, feigning innocent curiosity.

"Some dessert recipes. I don't think your loverboy may like them, though. They're very high on calories." Trey hums as he scribbles something out, then quickly crosses it out and replaces it with another note. "You may be luckier with salad and soup recipes."

"Yeah, I know." Yuu sighs and places a hand on his cheek. "But I want the recipe book to be really complete. If it's going to work as a Mostro Lounge menu reference, you know."

"Uh huh. You're such an attentive employee." Trey cracks another joke, but instead of snapping back, Yuu only deflates further, sighing once more.

"I just.... I like him a lot." He mumbles, a red tint slowly rising to his cheeks and ears. "I really want him to like it."

"I know." Trey reciprocates the sigh with another and looks back at his friend, an unsure expression on his face. Finally, after thinking it over, he gives Yuu a reassuring pat on the back. "Fine. I'll help you out with the desserts. But you'll have to ask the cooks directly for the more savory recipes."

Grim, which was just a mere seconds ago devouring a helping of H'riss, perks up at Trey's mention. "There's no need for that, henchman! I've written all the ingredients I could taste like you asked me, look!!"

Grim holds out a stained notepad proudly, all of which is filled with more chicken-scratch writing and doodles. Trey leans over and squints, taking off his glasses and putting them on again.

He turns to Yuu and raises and eyebrow, an expression which Yuu quickly shrugs off.

"Good job, Grimmy." Yuu ruffles his friend's head and smiles, taking the notepad. "Your handwriting has also gotten better."

Grim smiles proudly. "Of course! The great Grim-sama has the best handwritting in all of NRC!"

"Of course." Yuu chuckles, Trey also stifling a snicker in the background.

Gathering recipes from the staff was surprisingly easy once Yuu's intentions were made public. It seemed that people's secrecy over treasured family recipes was forgotten as soon as the subject of love and wooing one's crush with food was brought up.

So much so, Yuu was able to fill up the entire test notebook in just that afternoon, now all he needed to do was pass on the clean writing to the one he was going to give Azul, and his gift would be complete.

At the suggestion of one of the cooks, Yuu also gathered sample-sized packets of Silk City exclusive spices and herbs, all paired up with a recipe for each. They were even kind enough to give some more expensive items like saffron for free, something he never would've been able to get with his meager budget.

"How are you feeling, Grim?" Yuu asks as he looks at his companion, all sprawled out in their guest bed after the firelit festival's celebrations.

Yuu had decided to skip over the majority of the banquet in favour of staying in his room crafting up the book, meticulously writing down each recipe by hand with as clean and clear handwriting as he could. Finally putting his childhood calligraphy classes to the test, Yuu's strokes are careful and deliberate, and he doesn't spare any details when it comes to the ornamentation of the titles of each recipe.

The ghost camera had also come in handy, each page having its own picture. Small ripples of steam could be seen wafting off some dishes, while with others, one could even smell the aroma of the items. It was, Yuu thought, something that made this recipe book stand out from the other ones he could've bought.

Surely, Azul would like this one... he hoped.

Grim, on the other hand, had spent the whole night partying with the others, and while Yuu felt a little bad by entrusting his pet-beast to Tsunotarō, he was sure it wouldn't be that much of a problem either way, given they already got along swimmingly. His friend arrived late into the night and practically flopped belly up onto the bed, making some dawn feathers fly out of the pillows.

"Mrrgh... so.... full...." Grim mumbles, his tummy completely stuffed in what Yuu could only guess would be double his body weight in food.

"Did you have fun?" Yuu asks, briefly lifting up his gaze from his writing to look at his friend, then switching his pen from one hand to the other once it got too tired.

"Yeah!!" Yuu raises a hand up. "There were... mgh... so many fireworks after the main show, and sparklers too! ... Kalim also showed us.... his monkeys n stuff." Grim says, his voice wavering from excited to dead tired with each word."

"I'm glad you did. You didn't cause any trouble in there, did you?" Yuu hums, smiling idly as he takes one of the spice packets and sticks it with some double-sided tape to the corresponding page.

"Of course not! I was... a good boy." Grim sleepily protests, then lifts his head up. "Henchman... why does the room smell so tasty? You're not hiding any snacks from me, are you??"

"Must be the spices." Yuu chuckles a bit, then unwraps a paper packet. "But I did save you some keema naan that the staff brought me for dinner."

"Yummy!" Grim, despite his apparent tiredness a few seconds ago, springs out from the bed and walks over to Yuu, sitting by his side and taking the bread in his paws. "Y'know, henchman. You should eat well too. Take this!" He says, ripping half of the naan, but Yuu shakes his head.

"It's fine. I already ate." Yuu smiles without taking his eyes off the notebook. "Besides, I could get the pages greasy."

"Hmph." Grim only shoots Yuu a look at his answer, and with a little hesitation, he eats the ripped up half along the rest.

They stay there for a few minutes, Grim chewing on his food happily while Yuu continues writing, juggling the pen between his two hands with a soft smile on his face. With a small groan, he stops only to stretch out his wrists and fingers, spinning them in slow, clockwise circles.

"... Hey, Grim?" Yuu asks as he rubs his right hand, squeezing every now and then. His voice is soft and low as he speaks, a little flustered, even. "... Do you think... Azul will like this?"

He looks down at the remaining pages, looking at the detailed instructions and intricate writing, a soft blush dusting his cheeks.

Grim stays silent for a second, mulling over his thoughts as he stares at Yuu, then clicks his tongue.

"He'd be real dumb if he didn't."

#twisted wonderland #yuu fujisaki #azul ashengrotto #twst oc #twst yuu #twst azul #azuyuu #yuuazu #twst grim #grim twst #fanfic stuff #writing stuff #i love grimmy sm #uuh idk if i should tag trey he has just a minor role

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dirtnote · 22 days ago

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hi everyone, so i guess it's my turn to make a gofundme finally, but it's not for me.

my partner/bf/love of my life has been struggling for the entire year just to keep his head above water. he's got until December 15th to pay the rest of what he needs to for a wrongfully convicted DUI in order for him to stay out of jail. after helping his dad when he was in the hospital earlier this year, he doesn't have much to help himself with.

a bit of detail (although it's also explained in the gofundme), the dui situation happened because there was an APB out on the exact vehicle he was driving. he was in the whataburger drive thru on new years eve. he wasn't partying or under the influence but they still gave him a bunch of physical dui tests he couldn't pass bc of mild tourettes and an injured leg at the time. he's native american and all the cops were white, and since they tried insisting on writing him down as mexican despite him telling them otherwise i do feel like this has smth to do with it.

please at the very least share to help get the word out. i know so many others are currently struggling but if everyone who saw this shared a little we could really save him. he doesn't deserve this whatsoever and the system has certainly failed him even worse than about anyone i know. we would really appreciate it <3

-> https://gofund.me/012fe5b3 <-

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narwhalandchill · 1 year ago

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a bit more serious/negative note on childes characterization and fandom perception, saw a post where the tone upset me quite a bit

i did do a whole vent/rant/cathartic 2.4k words of writeup on this yesterday which like did help clear my thoughts a lot but in hindsight is way too long to just release by itself so i suppose ill just summarize my thinking now

so i would really appreciate it if a certain subset of childe fans reading his character a specific way (the trauma, identity crisis, dark abyss experiences, etc. - you know the one) could stop acting as if its this like. superior canon proven hoyo intended most real and intellectual way to look at his character and interpret his narrative. as opposed to just one reading of the canon material among others. and im sure most people are civil but ive seen this tone enough to just need to get this off my chest rn.

like im not "missing" something or being "tricked" (what?) by childe or the narrative. its not some naive ignorance about this reading being a thing and the ways people argue for it. ive read his lore. p much memorized it rly. and i simply did not find the arguments that compelling or feel that inserting this additional layer of subjective interpretation atop my understanding of the canon text did much to enhance childes narrative potential or characterization for me.

simply put. applying this super strict irl psychology logic (bc yes a real 14 yo going thru some irl version of ajax' backstory would get severe psychological disturbances as p much given. i know what the DSM-V is) to fantasy game characters isnt how i enjoy engaging with childe or any character really.

genshin is a fantasy game and fantasy as a genre has always readily sidestepped things like realistic psychological consequences of various heavy experiences in favor of building a compelling narrative whenever necessary. i dont find arguments relating to irl psychology particularly relevant at all on the subject really. if you enjoy this approach, go on, have fun! but please understand that its an interpretation that people can disagree without being "wrong" or failing some arbitrary reading comprehension test.

like the dismissive tone i see from people who simply cannot comprehend that like no, this take isnt some universal truth of hoyos that every person will glean from reading up on childes lore and appearances if theyre big brain and intellectual enough is just... really fucking rude? and alienating.

im not going to go on a like whole ramble on all the things that i personally see very much as hinting towards childes characterization going quite a different direction than this popular heavy self-doubt, psychological angle would suggest. its my interpretation after all, and could be proven wrong the way any interpretation can. but for now ive read his lore for years and looked into every single tidbit that involves him and so far hoyos writing of him hasnt given me any convinving case for changing my view drastically anytime soon. and id just like to be allowed to exist in this fandom space without being randomly jumpscared by posts alleging im reducing his character to this or that just bc i see his greatest narrative potential elsewhere.

theres enough insane shit and incredibly interesting lore relating to his overall role in the story and the cosmic scale of teyvat as a whole to be invested in already. like taking childes character as depicted to us and how in-game content characterizes him at a relative face value as opposed to seeking an implied internal struggle of sth hidden and repressed is me simply finding that take the most unique, fascinating, horrifying, compelling and exciting way to see him instead. thats what i love about him and his character. like im sorry, in my eyes the dark past corrupting innocence and trauma angle has just been done to death already in media. childe can have something actually different and breaking those tropes is what makes him stand out for me!

anyway. this whole situation is not sth i wanna start flaming ppl for or make into some drama, i try my best to stay on my lane and let ppl live even if i disagree w these sorta takes on childe. and i just wish for that grace to be extended towards myself too.

#like this attitude literally drove me off genshin fandom and childe content one time already im just tired #im sorry this got so negative but man.#and like do not fucking make this into a debate on whose interpretation wins im talking about basic respect. i WILL block you #rambles #genshin #childeposting #long post

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steamworkscogstone · 5 months ago

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[Edit: Sep 29th 2024]

HEART THIS BEFORE YOU FOLLOW ME, PLEASE! It helps me to know who has and has not read this so I may direct their attention to it.

DNI: 18+ ONLY BLOG, No terfs and swerfs, no transmed truscum, no ageless blogs, Nothing Illegal, NO MINORS, Nobody who openly and actively hates, especially on the transgender community (which includes my non-binary siblings) DO NOT SELL ME SHIT, AND DO NOT SEND ME STUFF TO SIGNAL BOOST! I CANNOT HANDLE THAT STUFF MENTALLY, ANYMORE..

PLEASE READ MY PINS ON THIS POST, YA ADORABLE DEGENERATES. 😁

HEART THIS BEFORE FOLLOWING SO I KNOW WHO'S SAFE!! 😊 😊 😊

Ayyo, check these links before following and interacting, too!!:

So first up, I've put my goofy ass on the hellsite, and did a fun little selfie dump! (Maybe some tummy Tuesdays in the near future?)

Secound is an important thread of consciousness, please read with discretion and understand that I do not tag triggers (because I struggle with tagging as is. Anyway, so this is the bit ya wanna read before interacting with me)

Alright, so I have yet another link that is dealing with an answer to an anon, but it is extremely important as it gives better context to the post/s linked above: more Steamworks lore, yay..

(I apologize about the long winded text, but that's just how I do things. I'm a writer, at least in a texting format. 😅)

Warnings: I am a pro-shipper and anti-censorship, I love using the word queer and I identify as such, while also enjoying identifying the people I text with as such. I enjoy what I enjoy and I have heavy kinks. If any of these warnings are in your DNI or makes you uncomfortable, then please block me and do not report me.

I AM A HARRY POTTER MOVIE ENJOYER! I UNDERSTAND JK ROWLING IS A DEVILOUS PIECE OF SHIT AND EVEN THAT IS TOO KIND OF AN INSULT FOR HER! I WATCH THE MOVIES THRU 3RD PARTY MEANS, AND I REFUSE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING HARRY POTTER THAT IS NEW WHILE SHE IS ALIVE, AND WILL FIND ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO PLAY THE NEW GAMES BECAUSE THEY GENUINELY LOOK FUN. Please, please ask yourself why you decide to attack those, ESPECIALLY IN YOUR OWN COMMUNITY, over something they grew up with and actively love as an adult? We are all just trying to get through this life, and all have our own things that help us escape; we are already so divided and splintered, and so you actively hating your trans brothers and sisters, and nonbinary siblings (who barely make up 1 million on the United States' population already) is simply hurting too many people.

Peace, love, acceptance, and alternative means of coming to a peaceful resolution is what I desire in this world. A world that is already so painfully divided, whether that be by a screen or you actively choosing to hate, is just such a burden on those who will be trying so hard to make a name for themselves. Yes, I just pulled a "think of the children" because, seriously stating that seems so obvious and yet, too many people are dismissive of it when they are literally the future.

Do NOT come after me for my existence, and if you see I am following you and decide against the things I enjoy and my personal beliefs and message, then just block me. PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME.. 😖

Eh, fuck it: I'm making my hearted posts public again, and if you don't like it then leave and I know we're not chill with each other. Love ya still, even for those who do leave, or are too afraid to follow because of them having mutuals they really click with, but would absolutely shun them for enjoying what I absolutely adore! I SEE YOU!

[RAMBLING INCOMING]

Okay, so this is going to be my pinned post, and it's going to be a heavy work in Progress. I've gotten some feedback from a couple people, and well, I'm not okay with how stiff and forced my original pin came out. I know I can write something better and will when I have the time.

Name: Prefer Coggy or Golem while first interacting; more personal names given the closer we become.

Age: Currently 23 at the time of this edit. (2024)

Gender: Femboy/Tomgirl transfem mess of an existing baby femby. The body has been thru a physical transition, although difficult and uneasy, since 2018. We actually just recently marked the 6th year of being on whoremones. Most of us do lean more towards femininity than masculinity however, the hosts gender is ever evolving as the months go on. We have been on this wild and zany rollercoaster of The Gender Journey™ since 2016 when the host started socially transitioning at 15, and even today there is still heavy developments.

We obviously have a list of limits on our kinks and fetishes, however we do not feel comfortable sharing things just yet, as there are a lot of people we enjoy following, but seem to wish to shun those with certain fetishes by blocking them.

DESIRES ARE INHERENTLY NEUTRAL, AS MOST OF THEM ARE THING WE ARE BORN WITH THAT CANNOT BE TRANSFORMED OR REMOVED FROM ONES IDENTITY (such as gender and sexual identity). AS WE FORM LATER ON, KINKS AND FETISHES BECOME NEW DESIRES, AND THUS SUCH THINGS ARE INHERENTLY NEUTRAL AS WELL.

Need to update the tags. (It's a safe call to go off of what I've tagged one of my more recent personal posts or reblogs with text.)

Yeah, more to add later!

(List of things to add: Mutuals list, tags, stuff)

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laroserie · 4 months ago

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how are we feeling about a half merperson!reader in the marauders era ? i know that merpeople have the status of 'beast' but its because they rejected the one of 'being' (like the centaurs) and are otherwise sentient beings and all that, so a half merperson half wizard isnt like bad or enter murky territory

id like to set it up in the marauders era because its my favorite era and is more easy to write a reader in, but id like for the reader to have a romantic interest, a part of me want it to be Remus but im not too sure (++kinda want to make it, like a poly!marauders situation, +lily but im not too sure people would like it)

as for sub specie, definitly not merrow (im sorry but they are just too ugly no way a wizard could have had banged one) so its either selkie or siren, selkie are a bit ugly too but i could ses a wizard rizzing one up and all, and sirens are, sirens si no problem here either

as for the features they could have, they have a regular human body, but have fins/branches on their neck and maybe arms/legs ? and probably a few scales on again, their neck and arms and legs. of course they'd be able to stay underwater like any others merpersons, but they aren't able to speak mermish fluently, they can barely manage to make a few sentences (i want to write a plot point about the reader trying to find books to help them learn it / struggling with it)

and honestly i could see a half merperson!reader be sorted into slytherin more than anything (id imagine them to be quite snarky and not shying away from using manipulation - or any techniques that they see fit to get what they want and also be quite prideful? but more so to protect themselves than be fully genuine pridefulness) but gryffindor could also work (a half merperson!reader could probably have a lot of determination, because of their nature and like have the qualities that fit both those houses lol)

again, small plot point i want to write about is, reader having beef with the magical creatures care teacher (like the teacher will be talking about underwater creatures and then turn to reader and ask them question about it, asking about their experiences with the creatures and reader is like 'its not because im half merperson that i know about those')

oh and ! reader just fighting with pure blood supremacists slytherin, not sure how to go about that, but i definitly want to write that too

anyway !! this post is to see if anyone could be interested in that ! (please tell me in the comments, reblogs or thru asks)

#the magician's speaking #x reader #harry potter x reader #marauders x reader #the marauders x reader #harry potter fanfiction #marauders fanfiction #remus lupin x reader #(potential LOL)

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neallo · 9 days ago

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Neallo I am all more and more flabbergasted by your writing skills. Precision, description, dialogues. It's literally perfect. I'd like to ask you for some tips how to write that way. Please..

AHHH this is incredibly kind. i certainly don't consider my writing to be perfect (well. no such thing as perfect writing, really, but i mean here that i have areas i know i want to improve on over time <3) but i have worked on it a lot over the last year and a half and am proud of my progress :D let me try to take a moment to meditate on what i have found helpful while attempting to hone my writing. i took nyquil like 30 minutes ago so if this ends up incomprehensible -- i'm so sorry and i'll try again later lol.

in no particular order, here are things i have noticed which help:

reading more books:

i made it a goal this year to read at least a handful of new books, and i have :-) i stupidly don't keep track of which ones i read, but if i had to list some that i found very inspiring in terms of prose & style, i would say The Secret History by Donna Tartt and Circe by Madeline Miller take the cake. i like listening to audiobooks, because i struggle to find time to sit down and read.

in addition to the line-level prose and style inspiration you can glean from reading new books, i think just taking in new stories in general (books, short stories, comics, tv, movies, and so on) helps a lot with inspiration in terms of storytelling mechanics (how to structure a story, when to reveal information and how) and themes to explore.

writing exercises:

there are some really good writing books out there. the only one i have ever used is Steering the Craft by Ursula K. Le Guin. i have an epub of this somewhere that i can dig up if anyone desperately wants it <3 i think the book in general is excellent in terms of writing advice -- really, i like Le Guin's philosophy on writing a LOT -- but i especially like the exercises! they're fun and interesting and work well as warm-ups :-)

oh my god okay the nyquil is getting my ass. more thoughts later!!

for future neallo: elaborate on atmosphere, dialogue, editing practices (rewrites, listening thru the doc), word choice. also outlining, note-taking.

#asks #suckerforthisshit

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cladestruction · 1 year ago

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so: i am literally going insane waiting for the movie to drop so here's a list of stuff i'd love to see in it (a bitch can dream !).

to my fellow metalocalypse enthusiasts: i'd love to see your army of the doomstar bingo cards!

FLASHBACKS!!! please give me flashbacks of young dethklok, i live for those

Toki's insulin shots and Pickles' inhaler. idk, those are very important to me lol

more of Nathan's creative process !!! let me see my man cook and struggle with the new responsibility of the song of salvation! (plus: how the rest of the boys collaborate with the writing/composing)

+ BONUS POINTS if it goes wrong at some point and we get to see some extra challenge for Nathan as a man AND as a lyricist

Skwisgaar being protective over Toki !!! give me that good worried boyfriend bandmate stuff !!!

Murderface-centric scenes that show us more of him: his upbringing, builtup trauma and psychology

+ Murderface full breakdown scene bc i love drama! the man has gone thru a lot and obviously deals with low self-esteem and emotional issues, and now he's dealing with a demon/posession??? i want to see tears i want to see blood!

something with their families. maybe some of them die as the metalocalypse advances + the boys' reaction to this

i really want the beginning of the movie to clear up what exactly happened post dsr (mordhaus security? how are the fans doing? etc) and how the band is doing without Charles

(this is very biased i'm sorry) nickles moments !!! please let me see them being band dads, or more of them being best of friends post reconciliation (UPDATE: i can settle for nickles angst too but pLEASE let me see Nathan be kinder to Pickles at the end please i'm literally begging)

SOBER PICKLES !!! considering this movie could possibly be more action driven or smth like that, i really wish we could see Pickles being sober and focused

the boys' reaction to their god-moment in dsr (do they even remember? what did it feel like? do they get to keep the powers all the time or how does it work? what even are their powers exactly lmao? etc)

spirit animals throwback yes please

more elaboration on the cave paintings and symbols tied to the band and the prophecy shown throughout the series

+ UPDATE: BONUS POINTS IF WE GET TO SEE DETHKLOK IN ARMOR AND WITH WEAPONS AS SHOWN IN THE STAINED GLASS YES PLEASE

band hugs. yes this is solely for my own happiness, nothing else

considering the clips, i really want Nathan to realize and say how much he values dethklok. he's stated how much he'd like to be a regular guy so i wold love to see him saying smth like "i never wanted any of this responsability!" but later on state that he does in fact value dethklok and would not have it any other way :') (yes it's fucking cheesy, ik)

rockso is back but as a ghost. he serves the only purpose of helping us see inside Toki's mind and shit

Murderface solo song/a very badass bass solo. i'd love to see him being better at performing as a side effect of the posession or something like that. that would also show a new appeal to him falling for the dark side

A CHARLES' SONG !!! specially with goth-religious kinda vibes or smth

MORE MAGNUS' FLASHBACKS

Knubbler being central to solve the conflict with Murderface

scenes with Jean-Pierre. it would be epic and you know it !

a near death experience with someone of the band. y'know, to help with the tension and the stakes. bonus points if it's while trying to save someone else of the band (my idea is something involving drowining, it'd be cool)

the battle with Salacia goes wrong at first. they're losing or they straight up lose and at the last minute they get to revert it with the power of friendship and shit

Nathan getting glimpses of how having a normal life would be (bonus points if we see Abigail as part of his fantasies of the dream life) but, in the end, he chooses dethklok (sorry Abigail babygirl ily). ig it could go both ways too, with Nathan getting to have both things at the end (the girl AND the band)

the boys FINALLY getting to care for the fans/the klokateers and showing concern over them dying!!! (like c'mon man, it's about time)

#i'll add more later #metalocalypse #army of the doomstar #clade talks #long text sorry!

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thiefbird · 6 months ago

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hi!!!! i hope you're doing well today :) i'm asking all my dear writer friends for advice on this - one thing i've been really struggling with while making the essayist's first foray into fiction writing is making conversation scenes between characters feel natural. in this scene, one character gets another one drunk under the guise of them just hanging out, but his ulterior motive is that he wants to get more information out of the guy, because he thinks he has some undisclosed severe diagnostically-mysterious illness that needs investigating. on the other hand, the other character is NOT sick, just depressed, so any information he gives will just serve to confuse the first character more, and he doesn't know that the first character wants information from him - he just sees this as an easy avenue for drinking away some of his problems. i mostly know what i want them to say and how i want the scene to go, but i don't really know how to fit in the parts of the scene that happen that *aren't* dialogue, if that makes sense? how do i know how to describe what their faces, hands are doing? when does it feel natural to describe some motion, or some of the environment, or shifts in the "feeling" of the interaction? i'm really sort of stumbling my way through this, so if you have any advice or tips, please let me know!!! no pressure or rush, ofc, i just value your opinion/perspective on this!

This is a really good question, and something I definitely struggle with too!

I like to start by writing out the dialogue, and any notes I have about positions or how things are said, sorta like a screenplay. For example, here is a selection of dialogue I have written for the part of So Long Lives This where Diana and Sophie find out about Jack and Stephen's long running affair:

Jack: Sophie, my love- Sophie: [cuts him off] I know you have not been faithful, Jack. J: [pauses, sounds heartstricken] Sweetheart- S: [cuts him off again] Do not deny it, Jack. Your own Nelson said “every man is a bachelor beyond Gibraltar,” and I accepted it. So long as there were no other children- J: If you are talking about Sam- [clearly irritated] S: [whirls to face him] You will let me speak, Jack, or- or- So help me, Jack, sometimes I understand why Diana runs! At least Stephen- J: Leave him out of this, Sophie- S: “Leave him out of this”? How, exactly, should I leave him out of this, Jack?! I scarsely know what I even saw - [she smothers a sob]

Then I start saying each line out loud, or imagining it being said in my head, and mark out where there are pauses naturally in speaking:

Jack: Sophie, my love- Sophie: [cuts him off] I know you have not been faithful, Jack. J: [pauses, sounds heartstricken] Sweetheart- S: [cuts him off again] Do not deny it, Jack. Your own Nelson said “every man is a bachelor beyond Gibraltar,” and I accepted it. {beat} So long as there were no other children- J: If you are talking about Sam- [clearly irritated] S: [whirls to face him] You will let me speak, Jack, or- or- {beat} So help me, Jack, sometimes I understand why Diana runs! At least Stephen- J: Leave him out of this, Sophie- S: “Leave him out of this”? {beat} How, exactly, should I leave him out of this, Jack?! I scarsely know what I even saw - [she smothers a sob]

You can place the beats at the beginning or end of dialogue, too - I tend to try not to do so if people are cutting each other off, like Jack and Sophie are here, but sometimes it helps with the flow. (I'm actually going thru this process as I write this post, this fic is only in screenplay format rn, so this is forcing me to get stuff done!)

Sometimes I can write the prose all in one go, but sometimes I write the actions without putting it into proper prose:

{Jack is standing facing towards Sophie, looking helpless. Sophie has her back to him, looking into the banked fireplace} "Sophie, my love-"

"I know you have not been faithful, Jack." {Her voice is quiet and strangely dull. She is fighting to keep her despair under wraps.}

{Jack pauses, sounds heartstricken. He reaches out for her} "Sweetheart-"

"Do not deny it, Jack. Your own Nelson said “every man is a bachelor beyond Gibraltar",and I accepted it." {She takes a deep steadying breath, still facing away from Jack - she can't bear to look at him, and she also doesn't trust herself to keep her resolve if she sees the misery she knows is written on his face. She never wanted to have to face whats happening now, and she never even considered that Stephen-} "So long as there were no other children-"

"If you are talking about Sam-" {The heartache in Jack's voice is gone, suddenly, replaced with irritation and (word I can't remember rn: he feels slighted because Sam was born long before Jack even met Sophie, he doesn't think it's fair of her to hold that against him.) He squares his shoulders.}

"You will let me speak, Jack, or- or-" {Sophie whirls around suddenly to face Jack, whose outrage fades to nothing in the face of Sophie's frustration; she doesn't think she's ever snapped at him like this.} "So help me, Jack, sometimes I understand why Diana runs! At least Stephen-"

"Leave him out of this, Sophie-" {Jack's voice is not quite warning in tone, more resigned, but it's clear he doesn't want her slighting Stephen, and she has a sinking feeling in her chest that this has not been a short affair, a single moment of weakness}

"“Leave him out of this”?" {Despite the heavy fear in her chest, she sounds incredulous as she repeats Jack's words back to him} "How, exactly, should I leave him out of this, Jack?! I scarcely know what I even saw-" {She smothers a sob in the palm of her hand, turning half away from Jack - some animal instinct doesn't want him to see her weak: he is no longer her companion but something dangerous, to be avoided, and for the first time she understands how imposing he can be, despite nothing in him changing; he is not doing anything to be intimidating to her, this is clear - he is in fact looking rather smaller than usual in the face of her moral superiority - but she understands how a French captain could fear Captain Aubrey}

The POV you're writing in comes into play, at this stage: you can put the internal thoughts of characters in alongside action beats, as I have here! The final step is to turn it into full prose, including fixing the tenses if you so choose - I tend to find it easier to write out the beats in present when drafting this way, and change them to whatever tense the fic is in later:

Even standing with her back to the room, Sophie could feel Jack's presence in the room behind her. She kept her head bowed, her eyes trained on the banked embers of the fireplace, as she twisted the fingers of her left hand - the ring upon her fourth finger - in the hold of her right.

There was a soft sound, an inhale, and she did her best to steel her heart against whatever he might say to her. "Sophie, my love-"

"I know you have not been faithful, Jack." Her voice sounded strange to her ears, so dull and lifeless that she might have been speaking to an indifferent acquaintance of the weather. In the echoing silence between them, she could hear the indistinct but passionate sounds of Diana's accusations from the other room; she was determined to keep her head better than her cousin, at the very least - yelling at Jack would do no good.

"Sweetheart-" His voice was pained, and a part of her - perhaps a part smaller than it had ever been before, even when she had learned of his indiscretions with Diana herself - longed to go to him, to comfort him. She ignored that foolish desire, and stood firm.

"Do not deny it, Jack. Your own Nelson said “every man is a bachelor beyond Gibraltar",and I accepted it." She took a deep, steadying breath, hating how fragile it sounded, how it shook in her chest with subdued sobs, and lifted her head to study in feigned fascination the bird's skull lying on the mantle. She knew better than to look at Jack now: one glance at his face and she felt certain her heart would melt, her resolve would falter, and she would bury this slight as she had buried so many others. But this time- no. She would not look at him. This was not something she could pretend to ignorance of. She had seen the evidence with her own eyes. "So long as there were no other children-"

"If you are talking about Sam-" Jack's voice was suddenly firm, the melancholic overtones disappearing entirely into self-righteous indignation, and that was a step too far for her to handle.

"You will let me speak, Jack, or- or-" She spun on her heel, a few loose strands of hair whipping about her face. The audacity of him-!

Jack faltered, stepping instinctively back from the force of her outrage, and she was struck with the realization she had never snapped at him so, had never levelled the full force of her temper at Jack, though the Lord knew she had at near about anyone else she considered family, and for far lesser offenses than many Jack had given - even Stephen had received his fair share of petulant snaps, but never her dear Jack. "So help me, Jack, sometimes I understand why Diana runs!" She fought against the urge to stamp her foot in emphasis, not willing to give up even an ounce of her shreds of remaining dignity. "At least Stephen-"

"Leave him out of this, Sophia." Jack's voice dropped into a lower register, somewhere between resignation and warning, and her heart sank. Somehow, with that seemingly innocuous sentence, she knew that this was no short affair, no single moment of weakness between two old friends perhaps brought on by overindulgence. No, no, that possessive note, that hint of warning, spoke to something pervasive, with deep roots that could not be plucked and discarded.

"“Leave him out of this”?" The words left her trailed by an incredulous burst of mirthless laughter. "How, exactly, should I leave him out of this, Jack?! He is entirely part of this, as you have seen to yourself! I scarcely know what I even saw-" She cut herself off before her voice failed her entirely, smothering a sob in the palm of her hand as her shoulders curled defensively and she turned away from Jack. It was animal instinct, the urge to hide one's soft, vulnerable belly from a predator, and despite herself - despite more than ten years of acquaintance and friendship and deep, abiding love - she suddenly, for the first time, understood how a French captain might feel faced with Captain Jonathan Aubrey on his quarterdeck.

I don't always write this way - often I become possessed and just write from the beginning of a chapter to the end, edit for spelling and grammar, and post it as-is - but if I'm struggling with dialogue, or how to make the beats flow more naturally, this method tends to keep me from sinking into despair and writers block!

I hope this helps, or at least is coherent - feel free to ask for clarification on things!

#thiefbird speaks #writing help #writing tips #thiefbird writes #so long lives this

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