#tw: panic

[lost-in-the-bright-lights]

Hi Icarus, its Netherum! I just wanted to make sure youre okay and youre not having much trouble finding us? I can always come find you if youre youre having a bit of trouble

-@nethrum

I’m… i’m fine, okay. I don’t need help. I can do it myself…

Everything is fine.. everything is fine..

[never-his-son]

[Rae sat at the far corner of the library, legs tucked to his chest, hands cupped over his mouth, eyes wide, shaking. How the hell does Fable know? When will he be here? What will he do? Who will he hurt?

So many questions were running through his head. It was loud. So loud.

He thought he was safe. But nowhere is ever safe. Not anymore.]

[im-prince-icarus]

Oh Hello little Sun,

I see you're here as well, I thought we agreed I would make sure it was safe for the whole family before you were to get on?

-Your Father @guiding-gilded-light

What…? Who are you? Why are you talking to me?

[schrijverr]

Soft Parts Exposed

One of the first calls after the lawsuit with Buck in the field is with a pool. Having to get in the water after the tsunami isn’t great for him, however, it might lead to a new understanding with the rest of the 118.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: Panic

~~~

It’s one of the first calls back since… well, since everything; the firetruck, the embolism, the tsunami, the lawsuit. Buck is excited to be back, even if the team is a little frosty towards him. The job is his life and he fought like hell to get back there, he’s not just giving up.

So, despite the atmosphere, he gets on the engine with the rest of them when the alarms go off to ride to another call.

That eagerness to be there, dies the second they actually arrive.

The call isn’t anything big or daunting. It’s quite routine, actually. A kid has gotten his foot stuck in a grate at the pool. He is still above water and they just have to get him free. However, someone has to hold him up so everyone can work. With his new status as bottom off the ladder, Buck is assigned that task.

But Buck absolutely does not want to get in the water. Water has been pretty bad for him since the tsunami – it took him weeks to bring himself to shower instead of wiping himself down with a wet cloth – the idea of having to get in there, combined with saving a kid? It’s bound to be a massive trigger and Buck doesn’t really feel like doing that to himself today.

He is about to ask Bobby if someone else can do it, when he sees his expectant look. It doesn’t seem like Bobby is expecting him to back out or anything, he probably doesn’t even realize how this can be for Buck. He’s just expecting him to get in. His face says; you wanted your job back, then do your job, even if it’s the boring parts.

Bobby thinks he’s just a thrill seeker. Someone who doesn’t think, just wants to jump in on all the action. It’s frustrating to be seen like that. To be babied. To be seen as if you can’t make your own decisions.

After everything Buck put himself through to get his job back, he refuses to let them think they’re right. So, he sucks it up and gets into the water.

Bad plan.

He manages to stay calm throughout the rescue. He has a kid to keep safe and a job to focus on, the trouble comes when he lifts him out of the water into the waiting hands of Hen and Chimney and he’s alone in the water.

It’s not as bad as it could’ve been, his breathing just gets a little shallow and he startles violently when Eddie pokes his shoulder with his foot.

When he looks up, it’s obvious Eddie was planning on avoiding him, but now he has this furrowed look on his face. A worry in his eyes. Buck’s mind immediately makes up the worst case scenario and he chokes out: “Christopher? Is Christoper okay?”

A bit of the frostiness Eddie has carried these past few days melts at that. He kneels down next to the pool and holds out his hand. “Christopher is fine,” he assures Buck. “Now let’s get you out of the water and do some breathing exercises. You hurt?”

“No, no, I’m good,” Buck gasps, gratefully grasping Eddie’s hand and letting him haul him out of the pool.

He gets his breathing under control, uncomfortably aware of the others looking at him. However, he can’t say anything, still too freaked out. In fact, he doesn’t stop feeling at least a little freaked out until they’re back at the house.

Buck flees the engine the second he can, throwing a comment over his shoulder about getting into some dry clothes. He ends up hiding out in the bathroom for a good while. At this point, Hen and Chimney must have returned with the ambulance and Bobby will have lunch ready.

After hyping himself up in front of the mirror, he makes his way upstairs, cautiously showing his face at family lunch.

Instead of a half abandoned table as they all scatter around the floor, they’re all sitting on the couches, looking expectantly, awaiting almost. Buck’s eyes flick to Eddie, who is sitting a bit apart from the others. He doesn’t expect Eddie to look back, but he does. He sends him an apologetic look.

As he arrives, Bobby gets up. He says: “We all noticed you didn’t feel a hundred percent at the last call.”

“I was fine,” Buck replies, a little curtly. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

“You should have said something.”

“I didn’t need to. I was fine.”

“Buck,” Bobby starts in that not quite lecturing tone, but one that is definitely meant to impart a lesson. “We are just worried about you. We know there have been some rough times, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t here for you. Everyone has gone through things, we all get-”

“No,” Buck cuts him off, shaking.

“No?” Bobby repeats, more warns.

“No,” Buck confirms defiantly. “You don’t. You don’t get it. None of you do. You guys weren’t there.”

“We were there, Buck,” Hen says soothingly, also getting up to approach him.

“Not like I was,” Buck replies. “You got to go in there after the first wave hit. You all knew what was happening and you- you put on the- the gear and you got out there. You got to rescue people. I- I was the one being rescued.”

They all pause. All of them know the power of that uniform and it’s not that it allows them a certain authority and grants them a certain access, it protects them.

As a civil servant, they’re out there on the streets running into danger, experiencing things that are the most traumatic day of their lives for those they serve. And then at the end of the day, they get to take that gear off and leave it at the firehouse. They get to go and be a civilian, leaving all of it behind them.

Now looking at Buck, standing there, trembling and with tears in his eyes, they are reminded that he wasn’t in his gear that day. He was on that pier with Christopher as civilian Buck, not firefighter Buckley. He didn’t have that armor to take off at the end of the day.

With a cracked voice, Buck continues: “I can do this job. Doing this job helps. When I’m working, I can concentrate, when I stop, I can’t. So, I have fought like hell to get this job back and I know you all hate me for it. But I got it back, because I love it and you all don’t get to take that from me. Not again.”

All of them look like they’ve been slapped in the face. They’ve all been so mad at him about the lawsuit that they had all but forgotten to realize what being in the tsunami might have meant for Buck, all too used to being in the thick of it. Buck, included.

Sure, Bobby hadn’t forgotten. In fact, Bobby had remembered all too well, but he had just projected his own experiences onto Buck, wanting to keep him safe and away from the action, because he couldn’t lose another child. He hadn’t realized that not having that job was the thing that nearly took Buck away from him and that realization robs him of his voice.

When no one says anything, Eddie backs him up: “He kept cool all throughout the call, Cap. Only started when the kid was out of the water and, even then, it was only mildly. He had it under control.”

“Yeah, and I had that panic moment that first time at a car crash after the rebar, I was fine,” Chimney adds.

“Yeah,” Hen agrees as well, elbowing Bobby as she says: “Right, Cap.”

“Right,” Bobby says, clearing his throat. “I’m not going to fire you, Buck.”

“Again,” Buck mutters bitterly.

Bobby flinches away from the tone. He has never heard their youngest member sound like that, so hurt and wronged. God, he fucked up with that kid. “Never again,” he promises.

Immediately Buck’s demeanor changes again, those eyes of his becoming wide, hopeful yet like he can’t fully trust it. “You mean it?”

“I mean it.”

“Oh come here, you,” Hen says, pulling Buck into a hug. “You’re not getting rid of us so easily.”

“Maddie will kick me if we ever make you sad again,” Chimney grins, slinging an arm around him once Hen has let go.

Eddie puts a hand on his free shoulder and looks him in the eyes, smiling gently. “We got your back, man.”

They all clear the path when Bobby approaches. He doesn’t touch Buck, but he makes sure the other is looking at him. “We’re a team here, Buck. We have each other’s back. I’m sorry we didn’t, but we won’t make that mistake again. You can tell us when you don’t want to do something. Like I always say, I won’t judge you if you don’t want to risk your life. There is no shame in it.”

“You know I don’t mind the dangerous stuff, Cap,” Buck says, a weak attempt at a grin on his face, before he lets that drop and clears his throat. “Though, uhm, next time I’ll, uh- I’ll skip getting in the water if possible. Is that’s alright?”

“That’s more than alright,” Bobby smiles, finally pulling Buck into a hug.

[vessel-of-wonder]

Brother..? It's been a bit since we talked. Are you alright?

-@wilted-feathers

I recognize that tag- your from the other world- you remember the courts-

[centross-mistvale]

A rustling sound could be heard in the woods.

“Alright alright…I just need to keep going. I think I'm almost far enough-”

Suddenly a frail screaming sound could be heard from the distance

“What the- HEY NO-”

-End Tape-

[lancedoncrimsonwings]

Augusnippets Day 3

Path of Whumperless Whump Prompt: "Thunderstorm"

Day 3 of @augusnippets 2024 Whump writing challenge! (Augusnippets Masterlist)

Characters:

- POV: Lancelot - The Weeping Monk

- Gawain - The Green Knight

- Squirrel - Percival (Cursed, Netflix)

(Character Masterlist)

(Ao3 Link)

Wordcount: 232

TWs: Panic, POV Character is Religious, Religious Trauma, Breif mention of Self-Flagellation/References to Self-Harm

Lancelot's blood ran cold as the great flash of lightning split the sky, the taste of iron on his tongue, breathing in the air that grew heavier and heavier in his lungs. The crack of thunder rumbled almost directly overhead, so loud he could feel it rattling through his skull. He closed his eyes for just a moment to calm himself.

"Woah!!! That was a big one!!" Squirrel yelped, young face lit up in youthful delight. A naiive joy taken from the very same thing that had Lancelot's heart pounding in his chest, his throat constricting, his palms slick with sweat.

"We should find cover." Lancelot heard himself saying, and beside him, he heard a noise of agreement.

"Not afraid of a little thunder, are you?" Gawain teased with a smile. 

Was it that obvious?

Lancelot couldn't help but flinch, watching another sign of God's wrath tear the skies asunder as if the Lord Himself scourged the Heavens with a whip of radiant light. The flesh of his back prickled and burned as if Lancelot were now the sky, that terrible urge to rend his skin apart bubbling up with the terror thrashing about like a wild animal trapped inside him, utterly suffocating in the grip it had upon his chest. It was all he could do to keep himself *still* against this rising panic.

"I don't like storms." Lancelot eventually replied.

Short and sweet today since I'm 99% certain tomorrow's is gonna be a little long unless I can really edit it down, whoops!

[valiisthea]

Phew

Firstly let me start by saying, the FF16 roleplayers have been some of the kindest and most welcoming bunch I've seen in a long time. I am endlessly appreciative that yall have taken me in and shown me love. I am eternally grateful and it means more to me than you know.....

I've gotten so much done today but it still feels like I've done nothing. I'm very overwhelmed.

I was in the hospital Saturday night. Following admittance I had the biggest panic attack of my life. Thankfully I had a friend to talk me thru most of it and I'm ever so grateful. But I haven't felt right since then.

I didn't sleep Sat night or Sun night, I slept decently (5 hr) Monday, and last night I slept a good 8 hours for once. I had another big panic attack Monday night and called that same friend in a STATE. They helped me thru again, because they are an angel that I do not deserve.

I haven't been eating. I'm scared to sleep. I feel like shit. My anemia is really really bad lately for some reason? Like my levels were scary low and I've been taking iron like a good girl but I think it's causing issues.

My wrist has given me intermittent issues but nothing too troubling. Doc thinks it's carpal tunnel so I've been wearing a brace on and off but since that first initial flare up that required a steroid shot, I've been good. So maybe just a weird one time thing or some nerve issues from the dog bite wounds.

I've just been. Not entirely all here. I've been in a fog. I consistently don't feel good. I'm consistently fighting off very bad anxiety. I'm consistently starving but feel "too sick" to eat. I'm consistently just wanting to sleep.

Anyway. My point is.

If I've seemed over eager, clingy, needy, wanty, chatty, ect, I apologize greatly. I have been needy. I've been needy for distractions and to satiate my muses and to make friends. I am struggling so bad right now trying to deal with panic and anxiety and nightmares among some medical issues and I just,,,

I just wanna be here writing.

I was supposed to get moved out of my shitty dept at work and they had me set up to move and then took it from me. They intend to give me a title and a raise to keep me happy, which will be nice, but I really wanted out of this dept and it kind of broke my heart.

And I live alone. The closest person I have to me is about an hour and a half away.

So yeah,,, if I'm posting my twitch link a lot or sending a lot of memes or coming and messaging you it's just because I need people right now. Please don't hesitate to tell me I'm annoying af if it's bothersome to you.

Thank you guys for everything.

[decayed-test-tube]

Aax sat on the bed, curled into a small ball, tail wrapping around them loosely. Their breathing was heavy and they coughed. The breathing wasn't a struggle from the sculk for once however. Her thoughts were going too fast and it was causing stress to befall them. It had been days of built up guilt and worry and anxiety and exhaustion until it spiraled out of control, tearing apart at the seams and making for a quite bad panic attack.

@deadlyxazul I blame you for this

[thebesttesttubeuncle]

Aax shot up on the couch, the remnants of sleep evident on their face and the last remaining drops of their nightmare plaguing her mind. His hands shook and his breaths quickened. It was like they could feel the rain on their skin and the pain in their tail. It was okay...it was better now. They were getting their balance figured out and it had been an accident anyways. The scars looked cool. That's what they kept telling themself anyways. It was an accident. It wasn't on purpose. Ocie hadn't struck him on purpose. There was no need for this kind of reaction. They were fine. It wasn't fair to Ocie for her to still be scared. They shouldn't still be scared of this....

"...this is stupid..." They muttered as they curled into a ball on the couch and tried steadying their breathing and hands.

[lost-in-the-bright-lights]

⌇ ⏚⏅⌇⍹⏇.. ⌇’⌾ ⍒⍾⍉⌇⍹⍹⌇⍹⍉ ⏚⌘ ⌆⌗⌭⍾? ⌗⍒⌘⍕⏚ ⌘⏚⏅⍾⌭⍩.. ⌗⍹⍋ ⌇⏚’⍩ ⍩⌆⌗⌭⍅. ⌇’⌾ ⍹⌘⏚ ⍩⍕⏄⏄⌘⍩⍾⍋ ⏚⌘ ⍒⍾ ⍦⍾⍾⍔⌇⍹⍉ ⏚⏅⌇⍩ ⍬⌗⍅. ⌇⏚’⍩ ⍹⌘⏚ ⍉⌘⌘⍋. ⌇⏚’⍩ ⌘⍹⍔⍅ ⍉⌘⌇⍹⍉ ⏚⌘ ⌆⌗⍕⍩⍾ ⌾⍾ ⏚⌭⌘⍕⍒⍔⍾.

⌇⏚ ⏅⍕⌭⏚⍩.. ⌇⏚ ⏅⍕⌭⏚⍩ ⌗⍹⍋ ⌇ ⍋⌘⍹’⏚ ⏇⍹⌘⍬ ⏅⌘⍬ ⏚⌘ ⌾⌗⏇⍾ ⌇⏚ ⍉⌘ ⌗⍬⌗⍅..

⌇ ⍬⌗⍹⏚ ⌾⍅ ⍦⌗⏚⏅⍾⌭.. ⌇ ⍬⌗⍹⏚ ⌾⍅ ⍒⌭⌘⏚⏅⍾⌭.. ⌇ ⍬⌗⍹⏚ ⌾⍅ ⌾⌘⏚⏅⍾⌭ ⌗⍹⍋ ⌇ ⍬⌗⍹⏚ ⌾⌇⍋⌗⍩ ⍒⌗⌆⏇

⌇’⌾ ⍩⌘ ⍔⌘⍩⏚.. ⌇’⌾ ⍩⌘⌭⌭⍅.. ⌇’⌾ ⍩⌘⌭⌭⍅

(translation: I think.. I’m beginning to care? about others.. And it’s scary. I’m not supposed to be feeling this way. It’s not good. It’s only going to cause me trouble. it hurts.. It hurts and i don’t know how to make it go away.. i want my father.. I want my brother.. I want my mother and i want midas back i’m so lost.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry)

[charles-and-no-one-else]

Wait follow up question to… fucking everything, what the actual hell-

Where am I??

[thecelestiallegacies]

Freshman Finals Day. Moses was in a message thread with Rhea, who sat with her phone right next to him.

Moses: Hey, got the answers to the exam? Rhea: Yeah, what'll you give me for them? Moses: I'll let you wear my hoodie. : ] Rhea: Pass. Blue isn't my color.

TW: Anxiety attack that results in puking under the cut. No visual, only in the writing.

A difficult problem. The classic math question: What is the probability of landing on a specific number when rolling a dice? What is the percent chance of landing on the same number three times in a row? Five times? She could think this through with logic but the nature of the dice roll felt like it required her to wing it. Rhea trusted fate to deliver her an answer to this tough exam question but fate failed her. As she started at her finished answer, she knew there was no chance she got that right.

Her pencil skated over the rest of her test and her heart pounded in her chest. Lunch cannot get here too soon. She felt dehydrated, she could smell her own scales emanating from her body and she felt a weight on her chest. Her face felt like it was going to blast off her head and her last thought was that she wasn't going to make it to lunch. In an embarrassed scramble, she ran out of her classroom and into the nearest bathroom. Her anxiety rushed out of her throat and her wheezing echoed through the tiled room.

Start The First Gen Start This Gen

[in-love-with-writing-whump]

Febuwhump 9: Voice Loss

Whumpee struggled to sit up in bed, their abdomen screaming in pain. They lifted a bandaged hand to their head, brushing against bruised, sweat-kissed skin. They remembered the fury of the blade, the fear and rage and pain in Whumper's eyes. The blood dripping out of them, the comforting darkness, the laughs of Villain in their ears.

Then the glowing Caretaker. Their friends, their team, their family. They remembered the way Caretaker cupped their cheek and held their hand as the chains fell away. The tears in their eyes, the relieved smiling.

Then, Whumper trying to stop them. Whumpee remembered speaking defiantly, the ache in their throat. And then, darkness laced with shocks of agony until nothing.

Whumpee shook themself from their memories. The rescue had gone as Caretaker and A had planned, and now they were safe in the compound.

Whumpee had glanced down at themselves, grimacing at the bandages on their hands, and then, they'd managed to sit upright, still shaking after that wretched night terror. They must've made some sort of noise in their sleep, as Caretaker entered the room, surprise melting into a smirk.

"Look who's finally up. You know I was starting to get worried. Who else am I going to get to fluster like you?"

Whumpee managed a smile. They'd missed Caretaker's little quips. "I-" Everything in their throat screamed, each muscle throbbing. They held a hand to their throat, finding bandages tinged with blood.

Caretaker quickly sat at the edge of their bed, their mischievous grin softening into a concerned smile. "Don't try to talk. Whumper did a lot of damage." They pushed a strand of hair from Whumpee's face, frowning at their black eye. "Did Villain-?"

Whumpee shook their head. Whumper hadn't let Villain anywhere near Whumpee.

"Thank goodness," Caretaker said. "Look, you should try and get more rest. I'll get you some water, and maybe if you're feeling up to it, you can have a popsicle later."

Whumpee smiled weakly, watching Caretaker go to the kitchen. They looked around them. Several bags filled with water- probably ice chips used to treat the bruising that had melted. A thermometer and some pain medicines scattered on the table.

They looked down at their hands. They unpeeled the bandages, grimacing as third degree burns stared back up at them. Their hands started to quiver. For a moment, they were kneeling on the floor of the cell, Whumper forcing their fists down into the burning liquid.

A sob clawed its way from their lungs, their body aching as they looked at the permanent reminders of Whumper- and Villain, for they had made Whumper to begin with.

Caretaker set the tray on the edge of the table, kneeling before Whumpee. "Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong, love?"

"...My hands," they managed to rasp. "I can't get away..."

Caretaker shook their head, fingers gracing Whumpee's cheek. "No, no, you got away, baby. You survived because you are so strong. Stronger than Whumper, stronger than Villain. And as long as I'm here, you're safe. You're safe now. They won't hurt you anymore."

Whumpee leaned into Caretaker's touch, shivering, throat burning from the words. Caretaker stood up, embracing Whumpee gingerly. "As long as I'm with you, you're safe, and as long as you're with me, everything's gonna be okay. And no scar or mark will ever change that."

Whumpee nuzzled their face into Caretaker's shoulder. They closed their eyes, struggling to right their breathing.

Caretaker pulled away, sitting on the edge of the bed again. "Look, I've got something." They pulled a notepad and pen from the tray. "While your voice recovers, we can talk with this, okay?"

Whumpee took the pad and scribbled on it quickly. "Thank you."

FEBUWHUMP 2023 IS HERE!

the prompts this year were chosen through a suggestion poll and subsequent vote, where over 350 people voted for their favourites. the top 28 make up the core prompts, and a mixture of the next most popular and this blog’s personal favourites have become the alternatives!

i’m so excited to see what you all create with these prompts, and hope they’re inspiring enough to trigger a whole month’s worth of creativity for you! if you have any questions, make sure to check out the blog’s FAQ, or check out the previously asked questions on the blog before sending one of your own!

please note: this year, notifying the blog of completionist status will happen through a google form that will be released closer to the end of febuwhump.

full write-up of prompts and rules under the cut:

Keep reading

[red-akara]

Day 10 - Briar

It grows thick around your mind

and there's not much you can do

to stop it.

The thorny tendrils cut deep,

soaking your thoughts

in desperate ooze.

Trickling down the optic nerve

and bleeding out your eyes.

Laying it all to waste.

[starlightiing]

how do you deal with your panic attacks?

Probably not in the best ways. I've been working closely with my therapist on managing them. Usually I do a lot of 'self soothing' like "i'm fine, these are panic symptoms not medical symptoms, they will go away when I calm down.' "you're okay" "take some deep breaths and it will be alright." "you know what this is, it will pass, just keep breathing." I can sometimes kick the panic away with that. If not, I pull out my list. I really implore everyone to make a list. Ask people if they are okay with you calling them when you have a panic attack, at any time of day or night, and if they say yes, put them on the list. I have about 5 people on my list, I will open it and start making phone calls. Sometimes people don't answer depending on the time of day/night but usually one person will.

More below, this got long.

I also have recordings on my phone of my fiance counting me through breathing exercises. I HIGHLY recommend "square/box breathing" in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. It's the only breathing pattern that has actually worked for me, and works about 7/10 times to get the edge off. If you have a friend that can record themselves walking you through breathing exercises that can really help. Sometimes I put it on and I don't even breathe with it, I just want to hear his voice and it'll be enough.

Drink ice cold water. Splash a little on your face/back of your neck. Hold an ice cube on the back of your neck. Anything to get your brain to focus on a different 'crisis' than the one you're in.

These are some things that have worked for me before, but not always. Sometimes I've needed to do more than one, sometimes I've done them all and they've not helped - depends on everyone and how they respond to certain stimuli, how bad the attack is, ect ect.

Breathing is the most important part. I immediately hyperventilate and sometimes stop breathing when I panic and then my hands and face tingle because I've got too much carbon dioxide not enough oxygen and that WILL make you pass out. Breathing exercises will stop that from happening and also slow your heart rate in the process (not back to normal, don't have expectations of it calming you down completely, just slows it down a few notches so you can get ahold of yourself a bit).

And never hesitate to reach out to your people. Tell them what you need when you panic. All my people know exactly what I need because I've informed them of what to do when/if I call at 2am in a panicked state and it's worked wonders for me and for them. They're not panicking now trying to figure out how to help me, and I'm not stuck trying to guide them through how to help my while actively not being able to breathe or speak well.

I hope this helps!