#please he knows he's tall

[deheerkonijn]

PDA at the function. 🍑

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[glassrunner]

Finally got a picture of the cute new guy at work!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[tubbytarchia]

Derailing from everything to draw this because I can't stop thinking about "You're triggering my parental instinct. I want to take you into my hand and take you to a safe place" Doc

[littlelightfish]

Do you see what I see...?

[whaliiwatching]

memes in defiance of valentine’s day

(blood & artistic nudity under readmore)

[raventrigonsdaughter]

For reference about what i said about Enid's werewolf height the other day, this is how crazy her size is in wednesday's description in the novel and i hope SO MUCH they never change it cause it's both fun and funny as fuck

Example 1:

Example 2:

Example 3:

And now the side by side with my favorite werewolves one of them having until now the title of biggest werewolf

PLEASE NETFLIX THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IT OPENS SO MANY POSSIBILITIES, KEEP IT, like, bring it into the show, also because the novelization as many others more likely than not was based on the show's early development and then still got approved in the end means that despite the weird ass golden retriver we got they were probably really going for a horror inducing werewolf in the finale, in the final side by side specifically if she was on all fours like in the show she would still be around Van Helsing's own height, this is insane, can my fellow werewolf nerds come talk about this we got a gold mine here on teenage show territory and i need more

[neonhellscape]

I was given inspiration

[redbean-nom]

fascinated by the implied fennec-ventress-phee friend group in tbb. even more interesting (funny) when you add boba in there during the tbobf era.

[gloomyloomy]

me, minding my own business:

my brain: hey did you ever notice how zoro and sanji were designed to be connected by the number three? sanji’s name (san) meaning three, and zoro’s three swords and three earrings, being distinctive character traits?

me: i- where did this come from, i don’t even think about them that often..?? what the hell am i supposed to do with this?! hey- hey! come back here!!!

[theredcuyo]

Actually, Jason Todd who is alive to the public again and decides that he's going to have the worst, most unhinged persona (with a limit, just so they don't think too much of it)ever so Bruce thinks it twice before dragging him to anything

He's a total mess of a celebrity, Brucie without the Playboy part and instead, he gets on calling out other rich assholes with sass and passive-aggresive talk, like 'Oh, Mrs. Sanders- Ah, right, Miss White, is it now? Sorry, it's hard to keep up with the fift divorce, i imagine you'll put some of the half you got this time to our charity instead of on more wine?' while also acting as a sweet daddy's little boy who can do no wrong and it's just 'trying to make some friends'

He still has the strong moral compass and the sweetheart part of the act, but he can't put that many himbo moments here and there (everyone knew he had good grades and shit, thanks to Bruce 'did you know my son is the smartest ever?' Wayne) but he does nerd literature moments (that aren't even a lie) to throw people who like to show off but don't know shit

So, a lot of people hate him and he loves it

He only slightly changes the act when interacting with children for the fundation and programs you bet your ass he got Tim and Bruce to make, instead of the call outs, he goes for lighthearted irony and talk like 'Oh, You didn't know? I heard that Deliah, yes Deliah Olson, is now going on a grape-candy solo week? Can you believe it? I thought she couldn't like without chocolate!' and ish like that

And what are the adults going to do about it? Call out the son of the richest man in Gotham? The one who to him seems completely innocent? The one, who you know, he lost once and now seems very protective of? Jumping out a window is a faster way to die

Bruce loves him, but he's starting to only take him to the fundation events so he's on his best behavior

[xxplastic-cubexx]

adding onto the size difference thing they had to make james wear heels in first class to make him taller 😭

chat quick who has that fuckin promo pic for dofp where james is wearing wedges and he's next to michael because i've been reminded of it and imvl eavkjalkjvlwkvj

[ratatatastic]

erod and his adventures with finnish media aka i think my job is to make mikksy giggle and provide emotional support and i will do my job well!

"imma support you" he says as he gives mikksy a good back pat so he understands that heres here for him and is making space for him. mikksy nodding along like yes very well i expected this thank you you will be the court jester by my side yes

their banter is so toptier "youre half finnish" and erods absolutely JOY when he processes it that he got mikksy of all people admitted him as half finnish like yeah you ARE RIGHT. I AM. I KNOW THE MOST FINNISH ON THE TEAM FOR A NOT-FINN the absolute pride that puffed up in him as being admitted into the finns i did not have mikksy teasing erod about being half finnish in my bingo card and yet here we are

mikksy interupting the finnish reporter just to get one last dig in "you can answer too" and erods just utterly delighted mikksy is being this playful i absolutely cannot stand the way they both look away (mikksy at the reporter to lock back in, erod to giggle into his lap before he cant help but look back at mikksy and their eyes meet in a beautiful- i have to stop myself here before i write romantic prose) and mikksy immediately taking the smile off his fave to focus because YEAH YOU NUMBSKULLS YOURE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERVIEW YOU ARE NOT AT A DINNER DATE GOING WHERE THE MOOD TAKES YOU. FOCUS. LOCK TF IN.

when your secret husband teammate starts actually focusing on the interview and youre alone to your own devices listening to all the finnish and going from happy to be here! to oh dear god what are they saying my rudimentary finnish can only take me so far. you can see the way the cogs in brains are turning slowly and he's trying to recall words hes learned to get any semblance of whats being said but its fast paced for him he just gets lost and the big ass grin he got from mikksy teasing just slowly starts to fall...

not a single thought in that brain of his... the lights are on but no ones home...

the many faces of erod as he tries to say the only finnish words he knows "ah can i go now- no."

nows my chance i can make my secret husband ah i mean teammate giggle see i know finnish look how well im doing please look at me! "kiitos" he looks like a puppy waiting for approval and he got it mikksys proud little nod like yes thats a word good job you remembered and you used it in a- well certainly in a context not really the best context- you know what it doesnt matter good job

this is what i imagine its like when you take your secret husband teammate home to your parents and are like "okay after the several months of finnish lessons ive drilled into you to make a good impression on my parents so they like you and see youre assimilating my culture into our relationship and respect us do you remember what to say?" "kiitos :)" "...good enough. youre canadian its okay theyll be impressed with that. just sit there and look pretty and let me do the talking okay dear?" "kiitos :)" "just like that sweetheart keep it up 👍"

edmonton oilers @ florida panthers game 2 postgame interview | 6.10.24 (x)

[rockturbot]

[moeblob]

Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."