#pickled parrot

[darlinhutchence]

on this day in 1980, inxs released their first self-titled album. heres michael hutchence playing live at the pickled parrot in gladesville, australia that year

📸: steve roebuck, 03/15/1980

[whats-in-a-sentence]

African Sunrise

Gertrude May Lutz

Sky

Over the last star;

The parrot-winds

Sharp-beaked with yellow

Nipping the bunched date palms . . .

Now the camels

Open their beeswax eyes

And raise long necks,

Rutted sound in their throats –

Camels, pock-marking the sand with spread knees,

Lifting the odor of under-body with them.

Sun –

The burn of it

Hot-coined to each eyelid,

And desert-stretched,

the caravan of hours

not yet begun.

"Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle... And Other Modern Verse" - compiled by Stephen Dunning, Edward Lueders, and Hugh Smith

[filosofablogger]

A Jolly Start To The Week

Once again Monday has rolled around altogether too quickly!  I hope you all had a good weekend.  Here it was just too darned hot to get out, so I stayed in, which is fine with me for I’m somewhat of a recluse anyway.  The week ahead is likely to be hot both in temperature and in other ways, so we need to start the week out on the right foot to get us through.  Let’s start with some yummy treats,…

[sohannabarberaesque]

As if such distractions as Banana Vac and Kookoo the Cuckoo Bird weren't weird enow for The Banana Splits' clubhouse--

--imagine their picking up Pickles the Wonder Parrot from no less than the same Peebles' Pet Shop as is forever trying to dispose of a certain Magilla Gorilla as most unlikely housepet ... but for some reason, said parrot has a habit of spontaneously going into the Seven Dirty Words and/or their variants, bound to translate into the inevitable Hilarious Consequences.

With appy polly loggies to the Tea Time Movie skit from The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson ...

[koopageneral]

INANIMATE INSANITY SEASON 2 EPISODE 15 SPOILERS. PLEAASE GO WATCH IT

Omgaaa I need to EXPLODE cuz of Taco’s Tirade. Gonna go on a rant analysing it prty much line-by-line so STRAP IN!! (Shout out to everyone who worked on this masterpiece omfg)

It starts off with what might be considered ‘normal’ Taco. Her making fun of the contestants. There is a little bit of hinting at her sympathy towards the contestants, although it’s incredibly shrouded in her mastermind facade. Calling them ‘pathetic’ and comparing them to blindly obedient dogs with ‘how they run to fetch their sticks.’

We get a little bit more with ‘Sure, call me polemic, unsympathetic.’ It shows how shes aware that she’s a problem, although at this point in the song it’s unclear to the audience whether she’s saying it in a way of ‘yeah call me it cuz it’s true, I don’t care.’ Or if it’s ‘call me these things, yeah, but I’m more than that.’

‘Look at me and all you see is the debris of some defective outcast.’ Feels like it’s getting into the meat of the song, and the episode as a whole, of how Taco has realized how she’s pushed everyone away for the sake of the game. The fact she has her arms tucked away during it gives another interesting interpretation, of it actually talking about before her big reveal, and how she was treated differently because she was, in her words, ‘defective.’

‘A frenetic, antithetic (if poetic) iconoclast.’ Frenetic means wild and energetic, probably, again, referring to her season 1 persona. Antithetic means opposite of something, and iconoclast means someone who attacks cherished institutions. This gets into her want to tear this entire show to the ground for the suffering it’s caused everyone.

‘I wont live in the past. I almost won this game once, you know.’ I’m just gonna parrot what @lemonxlimee said cuz they put it pretty succinctly with two words. Taco. Girl.

Then we get to the lines that got me started on this tirade (Pun intended.) ‘History is rearranged just to credit those who win the glory. So reality has changed in the edit when they spin the story.’ AUGH. Her fucking staring down at the hotel made of the money she spent SO HARD and lost SO MUCH to try and get. I. I want to scream about this. I don’t know how to put my thoughts on this line into fucking words.

‘And we choose to feel this pain.’ Going off the last line, Taco, out of almost anyone in the cast, knows how much you have to go through just to get a chance to win, which goes right into the next line.

‘We lose more than we gain.’ She lost Pickle. You might say that she didn’t actually care, but I’m not sure if I believe that. I feel like she might not have at first, and maybe even never when they actually were playing together. But you can’t convince me she doesn’t hate herself for using him on a plan that resulted in nothing. She also lost Mic, and it’s incredibly clear how much that affected her. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and showed her the flaws in this system.

‘I will break this cycle of mistakes unlike all of these snakes whom I call to condemn.’ She is fucking DETERMINED to make everyone see what they’ve sacrificed. She speaks with a level of contempt towards them, yes, but I feel like it’s more her projecting her feelings about the contest onto the contestants.

Then we’ve got MePad being best therapy boy. ‘You are incapable of starting over.’ She wants to be better. But she doesn’t feel worthy.

And then MePad’s slightly naive optimism with ‘I do not know who you lost, but is it not possible to get them back?’ He’s programmed to see the best in everyone. He wants things to work out. He doesn’t see how hard it might be to just make things better after a relationship exclusively built on lies.

This naivete is immediately contrasted by Taco’s all-encompassing pessimism. ‘Clear the slate, start again, do you hear how preposterous that sounds? How do you not comprehend that for someone with my monstrous background, the whole slate has fallen apart.’ To Taco, the bridges between her and Mic or Pickle are nothing but smoldering piles of rubble after all the pain she’s put them through.

This contrast is even more stark with the duet of ‘It’s too late’ and ‘It’s not too late.’ I don’t even know what to say about that, it’s pretty black and white.

For the duet, gonna go one character at a time for simplicity. Starting with Taco.

We see taco’s turmoiled feelings on whether she’s to blame, with ‘It’s not I, it’s they who deigned to play.’ Even after all of this internal conflict and deep personal realizations, there’s still a part of her that wants to cast the blame of the pain she’s caused onto the ones she’s hurt.

Another deflection she throws out is, honestly, probably more fair, if still not great. ‘This game, so cruel and inhumane, base and uncouth.’ This really gets into her main philosophy for the episode. She’s afraid to take responsibility, and pins the blame on the show for pitting everyone against one another. I want to make it clear, her point is incredibly valid. We see during THIS EPISODE how much it turns people against eachother. The challenge is entirely built around making the contestants spill their true feelings about each other, and using that to fuel drama. Suitcase literally has to choose between two people she cares about over who she’s bringing into the finals, pitting Baseball and Knife against eachother. While the show is ‘cruel and inhumane’, I don’t think that should just be a het out of jail free card for Taco. Yes, she did it because she felt there was no other choice to win, but she still did horrible things. She manipulated 2 people into actually believing she cared.

‘They’re too afraid to bear the bed they made, can’t bring themselves to face the awful truth.’ This is pretty much just her saying that the other contestants are too blind to see how much pain they’ve gone through to get to where they are.

NOW. Baby boy therapist, MePad.

‘You’re no menace, Taco, how did they hurt you?’ He agrees with Taco on the grounds of how much pain the contestants go through, but he’s just a little more concerned about the tact needed to show them. He knows that Taco wants to change, but she’s afraid to. He knows how much she wants to apologize to the people she’s hurt. He feels that there has to be something external she’s dealing with to have this level of spite in her, even if there isn’t, and all of her hate is towards herself.

‘Please think this through’ is pretty self explanatory. As I said, he agrees with Taco about her basic ideals, but feels like there are better ways to deal with the issue.

‘Feeling double crossed is part of dealing with the loss, yes, but the healing is a process, that’s the truth.’ He wants to see Taco get better, and he’s trying to get through to her about the fact that her feelings are entirely valid, but she has to, at some point, let go.

I also feel like the sound mixing is very purposeful. Taco’s voice rings through clearly, able to be heard without much difficulty. MePad’s vocals are softer, and a little quieter and harder to make out. Taco is so in her own head about the pain she’s gone through, she refuses to listen to any outside voice.

Then we get to Taco trying her best to cover up her emotions again and put on her mastermind persona with ‘I’m turning up the heat to sauté, I’ve some beef to get grilled. But I guarantee that today all the beans that get spilled won’t be mine.’ I love how this foreshadows the challenge, but doesn’t make it obvious.

We see one last crack in her facade in the penultimate ‘I’m fine.’ Again, the ‘mistake’ in this line feels incredibly purposeful. It’s incredibly pitchy and bad, to an almost ear-splitting level. Taco knows she isn’t actually okay at ALL, and has trouble telling such a blatant lie.

And then the last line, ‘now it’s time’, is her fully donning the mask once again, ready to expose the show for what it is.

ANYWAY. Uh. Thanks for reading all this bs. I fucking love this song so much, and I think Taco’s motivation in this episode is fascinating. Any comments or constructive criticism of my analysis is MORE than appreciated, hope you all have a wonderful day/night/whenever.

[brothersgrimmsnarl]

I love Stardew Valley. I live with a funky little shadow being who makes me food sometimes. We have two dogs and two cats. One of my three different colored chickens lays eggs that are made into a kind of mayonnaise humans can't eat but my roommate loves it and uses half as moisturizer. I brought the local doctor pickles for his birthday and took him to see a movie that he absolutely adored and I bought him sorbet as a movie snack and he loved it. This game is full of wonder and joy and beauty in the small things and next Halloween equivalent I'm going as a jester because the funny little mouse who set up a little shop in an old dilapidated house in the woods sold me a little jingly hat and the very spiritual lady who works down at the saloon told me I could use her sewing machine to make clothes. There's a dwarf who sells things in the entrance to the mines and they are my friend and I can understand them because the librarian/museum curator gave me a book that taught me dwarf language and also he gave me a big teddy bear and a geode that looks like a galaxy and a crystal that makes pretty bell tones when I hit it. There is a fruit that increases my stamina and all I had to do was give the sweetest fruit in the world that I grew myself to a statue in a hidden part of the woods. There is a bear who taught me the value of berries so now they're worth more when sold and that bear can use a phone somehow and called me just to double down on their thanks to me for bringing them maple syrup. I have two different farms and one is on a tropical island and the island's parrot population is coordinated enough to build things. My grandpa's ghost told me he is proud of me. There is a wizard who lives in the woods and sometimes he sends me jewels in the mail. I can see and understand little nature spirits and they help me harvest my crops. I can speak to fish.

[hermitsandcrafts]

With the newest MCC I am in the biggest pickle of choosing who to watch between them so pick for me please

[thatbeluga]

Wet Sock 2x06: The Mikus That Bind Us

Season One / 2x01 / 2x02 / 2x03 / 2x04 / 2x05

"You know what," Rad said, wiping a glob of Hastune Miku off her shirt. "If the multiversal court wants to hunt down and kill Beluga and Fuck, far be it from me to stop them."

She turned on her heel, flipping off Y/N. "Suck my sack."

Y/N's lip trembled at such a frequency that her nerdy glass shattered. Between the fact that there were shards of glass in her orbs, and that now Jason could never slowly and sensually take them off to reveal how she was secretly pretty, Y/N began to cry.

"Uh, Mom," Misp said, cerulean tears sinking into the holes in their Crocs. Y/N had already disappeared beneath a fountain of her tears, sparkling and shining so brightly that looking at them would permanently burn the retinas of any blonde named Jessica.

"Look kid, your grandparents are great, but they also suck, and I'm sick of bailing them out when they clearly do not want to be," Rad said, pushing the door of Y/N's room open. A wavelet of tears pushed Misp up next to Rad.

"Don't say that," Misp said. "Sure, they're... eccentric. And they hate taxes, and rules and society and having a conscience and doing good for the world, but like... I think it's a bit?"

"Imprisoning gods, breaking multiverse law, reanimating dead parrots to perform Mamma Mia... is a BIT?"

At that moment the wall behind them cracked and shattered outward, blasting Rad and Misp right out of the top floor of UWU Enterprises. The cringe landscape of the My Immortal Dimension spread out below them, and it was in that moment that they realized that the hills and valleys and rivers of limpid tears actually formed a perfect portrait of Gerard Way.

"Huh, that's neato burrito," Misp said, before gravity remembered to do its job and hurl them towards the cringe soil.

"Welp. This is annoying," Rad said, crossing her arms. "Is it still okay for me to blame Beluga and Fuck?"

"Can't blame them if we're dead," Misp said, eyeing the rapidly growing ground. "Cause like, we hit the ground and we're dead. Like dead."

"Nah, I'm immortal I'll be fine," Rad said, picking a congealed glob of Miku that had dried behind her ear. "The whole god thing?"

"Oh right! I forgot," Misp said. "I mean I'm not immortal, but it's chill you'll be fine."

About halfway down the length of UWU Enterprises, it finally clicked for Rad. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Hm. If only someone could help us."

"Yeah."

"Someone like, oh, I don't know. A president?"

"A president?"

"Maybe? But I don't know any presidents."

"Girl you're not special, neither do I."

At that point, a rift in space and time opened up, a giant pickle slice rebounding off the side of UWU Enterprises. Something flew out of the rift on a jetpack, throwing two ropes to Misp and Rad. They held on, looking up at their savior.

"I know some presidents," Wombat said, the sun shining behind him, silhouetting his marsupial glory.

"I am one."

[matthewtkachuk]

nothing kills you slower than letting someone go - matthew tkachuk

Your first Christmas in Calgary without Matthew proves to be more dramatic than you’d imagined

pairing: matthew tkachuk x reader

warnings: angst angst angst, a shitty breakup, shitting on the calgary transit system and also the weather, tumblr user matthewtkachuk finally taking on the matthew tkachuk florida trade

word count: 3.1k

happy (early) birthday c, i love you so so so so sos ososos os much you deserve the absolute fucking world and i would kill anyone for you, all you have to do is ask. big thank u to @antoineroussel as always for proofreading, even if i decline her changes 50% of the time.

@ryngrvs bingo spaces used: exes to lovers, "you're killing me", argument scene, unresolved angst, forced proximity

“You’re killing me.”

It’s spoken by the head of curls poking out from beneath the cream duvet that may or may not be attached to your boyfriend. He’s enjoying the perks of a rare day off, while you’re stumbling around the bright room getting ready for work at the ass crack of dawn. 

“I’m sorry, Matty, I’ll turn the light off as soon as I finish getting dressed.” 

“Or you could stop getting dressed and come back to bed,” is his muffled reply. He stretches with a loud groan, peeking out at you from beneath the covers for a moment before dramatically squeezing his eyes shut and covering his head once more. 

“Would that I could, baby. Would that I could,” you tell him, tossing on a shirt from your large walk-in closet and finally, mercifully, turning off the light. It’s a short walk back over to the bed where you unceremoniously yank the covers away in order to give him a short but sweet kiss goodbye. “Love you, see you later.” 

His responding ‘I love you’ sounds more like a promise than a parroting of your own words back at you. 

Life in Calgary is good, perfect even one might say. Just you, Matty, a cute apartment with a good view—what more could a girl ask for? Except for maybe a milder winter and a physical confirmation and representation of the future you think you’re heading toward. 

Six months later, at his brother’s engagement party, Matt is traded to the opposite side of the continent  and you’re moving into the spare bedroom of your friend’s apartment. Your view? The brick of the building next door and the shambles of a life you’d no longer get to lead. 

-

Calgary’s always been cold, but it’s even colder without Matthew to warm your bed or your apartment or your life. Apparently the mid-December cold snap has temperatures dropping below that of even the North and South Poles. Once upon a time that would mean extended mornings together in bed, warm and cozy under covers until you would successfully guilt trip him into giving you a ride to work. 

These days you have to wake up a full hour earlier than you used to in order to take the notoriously unreliable Calgary transit system, shivering in the uncovered bus shelter while you wait and wait and wait for a bus that may never come, and cursing your manager for being the ultimate boomer, afraid of letting his staff work from home.

It’s one of those days when your bus is a full half an hour late and the windchill could best be described as ‘fucking cold’ when you get an unexpected text message. 

Busy?

It’s Annika, Elias’s newly minted fiance if instagram is to be believed, and one of the girls you had been closest to when you’d existed within the stratosphere that was the Calgary Flames. It’s unexpected but not unwelcome or unrealistic, seeing as she’s checked on you here and there in the months since your split.

No, but yes and also kind of in a pickle...

Ten minutes later, there’s still no sign of your bus, but a different mode of transportation presents itself in your old friend behind the wheel of an SUV.

Your shoulders are shivering and your teeth are chattering and you’re 99% sure your lips are blue when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the window reflection before climbing in.

“You’re an absolute lifesaver Ann,” you gush the moment you’re situated in the passenger seat, pleasantly surprised when the seat warmer is already warm and toasty beneath your ass.

“What are friends for, right?” she gleefully replies, signaling before turning back onto the icy street. 

Christmas music plays lightly through the car radio, filling the silences between the two of you catching up on the past few months. 

It’s pleasant and warm—so, so incredibly warm thank God—which should have been an indication that a bomb was about to be thrown your way. 

“Come to our Christmas party,” Annika blurts out with a complete and uncharacteristic lack of poise. You’re ready to tell her all about the multitude of ways that’s a bad idea when she continues, “Just listen...”

It takes a lot to convince you that a Christmas Party being hosted at the house she owned with Elias is how you want to spend your valuable free time. Partially it’s the promise of free booze, partially it’s the way your chest aches when you think of all the friends you lost when your relationship went to shit, but mostly it’s the assurance that it’s neither the Official nor Unofficial Flames Christmas party and it won’t be just players and their significant others present. 

That, and the fact that Annika went out of her way to pick you up in the freezing cold at seven thirty in the morning and give you a ride when Calgary Transit had let you down so spectacularly. 

You let her talk and don’t give her an answer until she’s dropping you off in front of work.

“So, will you come?”

“Of course I’ll come, thanks for the ride, Ann.”

The wide smile on her face should make your frozen heart melt a little, but you’re too busy focusing on the dread you feel deep in your stomach.

-

You knew it was going to be a bad day when even your gimmicky weather app told you it was so cold you were better off staying at home.

But you’ve spent enough time sitting at home, staring at your four walls and wishing for a better outcome. Besides, you’re not going to let anyone down, especially not after knowing the pain of the ultimate let down that was Matthew Tkachuk and everything he’d promised you and then failed to deliver. 

The only one you’re impressing is yourself these days, which is your justification for the thirty minute long shower where you let a hair mask soak into your ends and exfoliate your entire body despite being under no pretenses that anyone but you would benefit from it.

And okay maybe the thought of ending up in the background of someone’s Insta story is motivation enough for you to spend that extra bit of time on your hair and makeup, and to choose the jeans that make your ass look great and the shirt that does the same for your tits. It’s a secret that will remain between you and Anastasia Beverly Hills. 

A loud cheer is sounded when you walk through the front door of the Lindholm home after a short Uber ride.

“You and Matthew broke up, not us,” Elias tells you after pulling you in for a big bear hug. It takes everything you have in you to not give into the wobbling of your lower lip at his words. Maybe it wasn’t fair to avoid this world and everything that came with it for fear that it would prevent your broken heart from mending itself piece by piece. These were good people who you cared for and who cared for you in return, people who only had your best interests at heart. 

“I promise I’ll quit hiding in Chrissy’s apartment,” you reply quietly before letting Annika lead you away to introduce you to some of the new faces around the room. 

Ashley Kadri is every bit as glamorous and kind as your friend talked her up to be, and her husband is much of the same, letting you gush about how amazing his cup run with the Avs had been last season. 

You can take the girl out of the hockey relationship, but you can’t take the hockey out of the girl.

It’s all going well and reminding you of how much you used to love being a part of this world when it predictably goes to hell again.

Securing another drink means walking past the front door to head towards the kitchen, and you can’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing that it’s here, away from prying eyes, that you run into the last person you expected to see in Calgary ever again outside of a game situation. 

“What are you doing here?” Matthew asks, stunned by the mere presence of you in his former teammate but forever friend’s home. 

“What am I doing here? Me? What the fuck are you doing here?” you snap back angrily, but even you’re not sure exactly what you mean by ‘here’. Canada? Calgary? Lindy’s entryway? Your fragile, shattered heart?

Torn between bursting into tears and strangling the man in front of you, you’re saved from the decision by Elias appearing out of nowhere with a robust “Chucky!”

Annika’s guilty face behind her fiance tells you Matthew’s arrival is not unwelcome nor unexpected.

“I need a drink,” you whisper quietly, ignoring Annika’s attempts to gain your attention. 

Much like he hadn’t when he left, you don’t spare Matthew a second glance as you leave.

You’re not sure if it’s a cruel twist of fate, or the result of your not-so-kind-hearted friends’ meddling that has you sitting next to Matthew at dinner. He spends most of it trying to get your attention, but you focus on Jacob and talking his and his girlfriend’s ears off about her pregnancy. 

At some point between stuffing your face with mashed potatoes and none-too-gracefully reaching over Matthew to grab seconds to avoid having to engage in conversation with him, his leg brushes yours. The sensation has your skin feeling like it’s on fire through your jeans, and you react accordingly, flinching away like you’ve been burned. 

Later, you’re sat in a circle with a group of Annika’s friends, listening to them drone on and on about some great opportunity that, for some reason you can’t quite put your finger on, has you imagining the shape of a triangle. 

Realizing you’re going to need more alcohol to get through the conversation, you excuse yourself and run right into the very person you’ve been avoiding all night. 

If you were stronger, less heartbroken still, you would look him right in his eyes and dismiss him without much more than a callous, offhanded comment of his name. You’re not, and you are, and so you just stare up at him, feeling as though all of the oxygen in the room has been sucked out. 

He manages to say your name though, and the sound of it is so bittersweet on his tongue. Equal parts sounding like it belongs there, and like it should never be spoken by him again. 

“Can we get out of here? Talk?”

Annika’s friends are staring with far too much interest, not even pretending like they’re not eavesdropping and so you storm away to a much quieter spot down the hallway.

Spinning on him, you say, “I didn’t drive, and I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Please? I really want to clear the air, and I can’t do it with all of my former teammates breathing down my neck.” He seems sincere enough, even if the very sight of him has your body breaking out into a nervous sweat, and you’re pretty sure you feel the beginning of an allergic hives reaction breaking out along your arms.

“You should have thought of that before you ambushed me at their party.”

“I didn’t know you were going to be here, I promise. Lindy invited me, and I couldn’t just turn him down.” 

You know the feeling well, not wanting to let Annika down was seventy five percent of the reason you were here tonight, too. Something about the way that makes you feel has you agreeing, “Fine.”

“If you really want, we can take separate Ubers,” he offers, and you realize the notion is ridiculous, but you still consider it for half a second before you sigh so deeply you feel it in your bones before rattling off your new address. He looks shocked, and you realize when he opens the app on his phone, the old address is still saved as Home.

“You didn’t think I could afford the condo after you left did you? I can't even afford to live by myself, Matthew,” you snap at him.

“I didn’t realize—“

“Yeah there’s a lot you didn’t realize, Matthew.”

The full name moniker that slips from your mouth slices right through his bravado as he viscerally winces. 

Your ride comes quickly, but the actual ride itself seems to take an entire hour as the blue Toyota Camry with the Flames license plate weaves in and out of traffic. It makes you wonder if the car really belongs to Carl, your Uber driver, as he casually has a conversation with Matthew without any fuss.

Normally, you go out of your way to make others feel appreciated, but you can’t even find it within yourself to thank Carl when he pulls up at your apartment, simply jumping out from the car before it’s even fully parked.

Matthew takes in his surroundings carefully, critically, as he looks at discarded needles on the ground in front of you and the gang sign graffiti a few buildings down from yours. It makes you angry—no, makes you furious—as you watch him judge your surroundings. As if he had any reason to care about where you rested your head at night anymore.

You still don’t say anything though. Just let that anger stew and simmer, bubbling below the surface as you buzz into the lobby and then up the elevator. 

“You wanted to talk? Talk.” You cross your arms and glare at him, impatiently and involuntarily tapping your foot on the cheap laminate flooring.

He looks lost, panicked, like he didn’t think he would even make it this far. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t know what to say?” You’re in disbelief, truly. He shows up in your city, at a party you’re at, and demands to speak with you privately at your apartment and he can’t think of a single thing to fucking say to you? “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I didn’t think it would be like this,” he says, elaborating further when your look of disbelief only grows. “Seeing you again. I didn’t think it would be like this.”

“You made it like this! You left me behind like I was nothing, like we were nothing.”

He winces as the truth leaves your lips. “I know, and I’ve regretted it ever since. From the moment the door shut behind me for the last time, I’ve regretted it.”

“Then why? Why did you do it? Why did you leave me?” The feeling brewing in your chest can’t be pinned down to just one emotion; it’s sadness and anger and hurt, but it’s something else too. Something you can’t put your finger on but it burns like cheap whiskey down your throat. 

“I couldn’t ask you to leave Calgary, everything you have is here.”

That’s it? That’s his excuse? Deciding for the both of you what was important to you, what you would want? 

“I fucking hate Calgary! It’s so fucking cold and it snows all the time and you’re not there anymore!” 

He’s on you in a second, cold hands curved around your jaw and hot mouth on yours. Your back hits the wall, and you think a picture frame falls, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Gripping and pulling him closer, your hands can’t settle on a place, roaming and feeling, re-committing every curve, every sharp edge of his body to memory.

It’s a mess of teeth and tongue, whining and panting and a thrumming need until his mouth breaks free of yours, trailing down your neck.

You come back into yourself then, back into the harsh memory of his packed bags and his back as he walked away from you and everything you had to offer. “Stop…Stop!” You push him off of you. There’s barely any effort put into it on your part, but he flies off of you like you had herculean strength. 

One of his hands is tangled in the hair atop his head, while the fingers of the other are pressed to his lips as if in disbelief. 

“I’m sorry, I-”

“What? It was a mistake? An accident? I don’t want to fucking hear it! What is wrong with you?” It takes everything in your power to keep the tears from falling, though you’re sure your watery gaze betrays you. Your arms are wrapped around you, almost as if you could physically hold your broken pieces together. 

“I’m just sorry,” he replies, resigned in a way you can’t ever quite remember him being. “I’m just sorry and I miss you so fucking much.”

You laugh then, loud and cruel and sharp. “Apology not accepted.”

He says your name, quiet and wounded, almost like a prayer, a plea.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you reply, “You didn’t even ask me to come with you.”

“Would you have?”

“Yes.”

“Would you come with me now?”

“Absolutely not.”

He looks shocked then. Like it’s inconceivable that you’re not willing to drop everything for him, five months after he left you behind without so much as a second glance. Like he thought he could just show up in Calgary, at Elias’ party, like nothing was wrong and you would follow him back like a lost puppy. 

The day after your breakup? Absolutely. The week after? Maybe. But you had five months to learn to be okay without the man standing in front of you, and no shitty apology or burning kiss was going to change that. 

“Calgary may be cold and miserable, but it’s predictable. I know exactly what to expect—fucking cold from October to May, and a little less cold for the rest of the year. You? I have no idea what you’ll do next. And that used to excite me, used to make me think you were just passionate. But now I don’t trust you, and I don’t think I ever could.”

“I’m sorry, I—”

“I think you should go.” When he doesn’t even blink, your mouth twists into a horrible grimace as you lose control of yourself and the floodgates holding back your tears burst. “Fucking leave! You’re killing me here, Matty.”

You’ll never know if it was the tears or the nickname you let slip past your lips, but he leaves. And you’re not sure you’ve made the right choice, but he made the wrong one first and you’ll never forget that.

[tytarax2]

Not sure if you do coaches but can you write Vince hcs? Whether it be relationship or general

It's the first time I write for a coach, this will be funny.

I never realized how bald this man was until I made the cover image

Don't have a lot of relationship hcs more than he would be a sugar daddy, so let's go with the general hcs

Unlike Coach, he doesn't spend all the frikin time analyzing other players' games.

He's just there like "Oh, how convenient, Supa Strikas just released a new line of "x" product, let's sabotage it :D"

He is part of the cliché of many movies and series

In his youth, he was a friend of his now rival (Coach)

and friend of Shake's father, who coincidentally disappeared years ago

He most likely was involved in his disappearance

Vince's coaching style is highly competitive and cutthroat.

He believes in winning at any cost and often encourages his players to use any means necessary to secure a victory.

Is extremely disciplined

He's also one of the ones who has a mysterious past

Despite being a coach, he tends to be a loner.

I believe he's Skarra's uncle

Now for some off-the-field activities...

He is an avid chess player

And also enjoys reading books on psychology

Vince always wears a tailored suit during matches

believing it gives him an authoritative presence (he also thinks it's a lucky charm)

He has his hidden soft spots as anyone

Is a family man

Vince is an excellent dancer

has a hidden talent for breakdancing

has a pet parrot named "___"

he learned to squawk phrases like "Win at any cost!" and "Defense, defense!" from Vince's rage attacks when he watches soccer

He's a surprisingly good cook and enjoys preparing gourmet meals in his free time

His specialty is a ridiculously spicy chili that no one can handle

has a secret love for bad puns and has a collection of punny jokes written in a notebook

Vince has a deep-seated fear of clowns

He once accidentally walked into a circus-themed restaurant and ran out immediately

Vince learned a few magic tricks during his youth and likes to entertain himself by practicing sleight-of-hand tricks

Vince has an inexplicable love for peanut butter and pickle sandwiches

Masterlist

[xaneyyy]

I decided to do a late introduction because I'm bored and have nothing else to do ౨

I am zane 〔people call me by my silly name ; 'dinker'〕

My interests are ;

Roblox hackers/exploiters, myths or roblox "urban legends" (like 1x1x1x1, koolkid, tubers69, etc)

Pvp games (any)

Jjk

Vocaloid

The amazing world of gumball

Ouran highschool host club

Super robot monkey team hyperforce go (barely anyone knows this)

Mlp (my little pony)

Smiling friends

Fnf (Friday night funkin)

Sonic the hedgehog

SpongeBob SquarePants

Space / astrology

Learning about past paranormal experiences

Animals

Madoka magica magi purella

Fate Apocrypha

Kill la kill

Paswg

Skullgirls

Brawlstars

D4dj

Super sonico

Gloomy bear

Card captor sakura

Nana

Spvtw (scott pilgrim vs. the world)

💰

There's more but I can't think of any right now

I'm filled with brainrot!!!

I am a gay and aroace! 〔 + transgender 〕

I REALLY REALLY like snapple (I consumed so much snapple my blood is basically snapple) <- I injected it

I eat dirt, true statement

I'm also 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂../j

What I don't like is ;

Proshippers/BAD comshippers (they make me uncomfortable) // comshipping isn't that bad, it's just complicated ships like mortal x human, hero x villan and stuff, but I'm talking about the bad, like who proship and stuff..

Alfred playhouse (I can't stand seeing that)

girls being weird to gay men (just be supportive, not drooling over them, this also goes to straight men being weird to lesbian girls) <- don't do this cis men/women

Think that's it for the stuff I don't like 😓

I do use emoji combos for artists I like

I also use random emoji combos

And stuff I do like mirrorshipping (which is version of character x other version of character)

People think it's bad because the other thing for it had the word "cest" in it, which I can understand(?) // Gen don't know chat

I do love cats, jellyfish, dogs, otters, birds, parrots, deers, and rabbits

I do like unicorn stuff because it's just funny to me

I sometimes use ":3" ( + more )

I like using brainrot terms

Sigma, skibidi toilet, skibidi slicers, gyatt, kai cenat, rizz, baby gronk, rizz party, grimace shake (yes I still use that) and etc

I do vocal stim a lot and stuff and I can't tell when I'm annoying so oops 🦌

My favorite food is cheesecake and Mac and cheese so I might mention those a lot (and I like munching on pickles)

I do like xenos/neos, I think they pretty cool, I don't really know how to use them but that's sigma

I do like peoples headcanons of characters (I don't like when people call it blackwashing tho, that isn't skibidi + it's adding rep not taking)

Thats all bye bye !! :3

Hatsune miku ꒱

[birdsittingtoronto]

🚨 NEW CLIENT ALERT 🚨 Pickle the Budgie has joined BST! She’ll be hanging out with us here for about a week while her family is away on vacation ☺️ she’s already having fun with all our budgies here and settled in nicely! _______________________________ #budgies #budgiesofinstagram #budgie #bird #parrots #budgielove #birds #budgielife #parakeet #birdsofinstagram #parakeets #parakeetsofinstagram #budgielover #parrot #animals #cute #engagednotcaged #parakeetlove #pets #budgerigar #birdstagram #budgerigars #pet #instabird #birdsittingtoronto #petsofinstagram #petoftheday

[estrellami-1]

I saw your post and I decided, why not? I've never done this before! (I'm no good at thinking of prompts). Currently I have one thing on my mind: Good Omens. And maybe this is weird to ask, but could you maybe take a scene from it and steddie-fy it? I don't care who's who.

There's a scene, which is my personal favorite, where Crowley asks Aziraphale to hang out after having dinner, and Aziraphale, with a soft voice and a longing look, says "You go too fast for me, Crowley."

And of course the "just a little demonic miracle of my own" scene. That ones a bit longer to explain, so I'd search it up for a better experience. This is the one all of us, including the author, speculate is when Aziraphale realized he was in love with Crowley.

Uhhhhhh yeah peace out ✌

Okay yes I know exactly what you’re talking about, I’ve seen the show and I’ve read the book (more than once actually lol) BUT it’s been forever and right now I’m not remembering anything besides the vaguest outline of the scene in the forest, when he starts going by Crowley. And then a few random scenes that I had to look up 😩 strangely enough I couldn’t find the “you go too fast for me, Crowley” scene anywhere which SUCKS because now I need to see it just to see it 😂

Also side note I would LOVE to Steddify the entire thing, I feel like Nancy would make a great Anathema, and Robin would be a fantastic Madame Tracy, esp considering the fact that Aziraphale/Steve (that’s what I’m imagining, at least) literally inhabits her body. And there’s even a Party what with Adam and them! I’m thinking Dustin as Adam, Max as Pepper, Will as Wensleydale, and Mike as Brian.

Anyways. Yes I love this a lot, thank you 😂

“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?” Eddifer asks, tilting his head

“Uh- oh, uh-” Steve stutters. It’s embarrassing, angels don’t stutter, but he’s caught wrong-footed, not sure he did the right thing anymore, and with Eddifer looking at him like that-

“You did! It was flaming like anything,” Eddifer says triumphantly. “Lost it already, have we?”

“I… gave it away,” Steve mumbles.

“You what?” Eddifer asks incredulously.

“I gave it away!” He shouts.

Eddifer looks at him for a second. Blinks. Looks away.

Steve’s left with a feeling he did something right. It’s more comforting than it should be, coming from a demon.

~~~~~~~~

Steve tilts his head. “Is that you under there, Eddifer?”

“‘S Eddie,” he grumps, lifting his helmet and sighing. “‘S Alright, lads, I know him.” He shakes his head. “What the heaven are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you!”

~~~~~~~~

“Animals,” Steve hisses, locked in a dungeon. This is a pickle if ever there was one.

“Animals don’t kill each other with clever machines, Angel, only humans do that.”

“Eddie,” he says, can’t help the excitement in his voice. Then he sees what Eddie’s wearing. “Oh, good Lord.”

Eddie’s lounging against the wall, arms crossed, looking Steve up and down. “What the deuce are you doing, locked up in the Bastille? I thought you were opening up a bookshop!”

“I was! I got… peckish.”

“Peckish,” Eddie parrots flatly.

Steve huffs. “Well if you must know, it was the crepes. Can’t get decent ones anywhere but Paris.”

“Angel,” Eddie says, “you’re really something else.”

Steve can’t quite figure out if that’s a compliment or not.

~~~~~~~~

“Y’know,” Steve says, almost certain Eddie’s going to push him up against a wall again for it. It’s half the reason he says it. “I think, deep down, you really are quite a nice person.”

Eddie doesn’t push him up against a wall, only smirks into his drink. “Only because you’re just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.”

[filosofablogger]

Jolly First Monday In December

Good morning friends!  Is it cold where you are?  It’s cold here, but no snow yet this year.  Did you have a great weekend?  Mine?  Oh, well, the girls went out shopping on Saturday and I stayed home, fully intending to catch up on some house chores, but instead I picked up a book and that was the end of any housework getting done!  Ah well … there’s always tomorrow, right?  Two weeks ago when we…

[secondstar-acorn]

will’s billy and wally the parrot tight 5 in fetch quest walked so pickle rick on borat’s shoulder in goofs realm could run

[trixcuomo]

Himbostorm

Trixany: So... I'm a Horde B-celebrity, I have to stay on trend. We have to finally do a thing about Plunderstorm. You know that, right?

Sharpen: I'm not ready--

Trixany: Liar! It's because you're a trashy storm runner, isn't it?? You pretend like it's too hard and you don't like the game, but no. You've prepared, you've minmaxed where to land on your parrot, you know precisely when to escape into the storm and deprive me of more plunder I should get, by putting the real work in and killing you. You know exactly what you're doing!!!

Sharpen: All I meant was that I wasn't ready for us to start the discussion. I had something in my eye.

Trixany: ... Oh.

Sharpen: Anyway, Plunderstorm is just supposed to be some for-fun battle royale thing. What is wrong with you, getting so angry?

Trixany: I guess I'm really upset with the storm runners because I want that red and gold pirate mog. I NEED it, but it's taking so long. I can't seem to get enough plunder, or I just die right off. I have bad luck or something.

Sharpen: Eh. I'm more zen about it.

If I don't want to play Plunderstorm, or if I happen to maybe think forced PvP is sorta unfair, or that it was poorly implemented, then I'm not participating, simple as that.

Trixany: I guess the pressure has been getting to me. I even keep thinking you're the one out on the battlefield, messing with me. There's this gnome that keeps one-shotting me, game after game, but I don't know your btag. He just reminds me of you so much!

Sharpen: Hrm? Odd. What's so familiar about him?

Trixany: *peers* He yells, 'HOLD YOUR OWN DAMN ORANGE JUICE!' before slamming into me on a parrot from the sky. Every game, lately. All his battle cries are about orange juice.

Trixany: *peers harder* You used to hold my orange juice, Sharpen.

Sharpen: Maybe it's a weird pirate roleplay thing.

Trixany: Who is out there roleplaying in Plunderstorm?? Anyway, I guess it couldn't have been you. That gnome has their full set already, the whole fancy red pirate mog. And while this crazed orange juice gnome is out to get me, I can never pick up any plunder. *peers even even harder at him*

Sharpen: Welp. *takes an orange soda can from his bag, pops the tab* That's a dilly of a pickle. *dips a bright orange curly straw in*

Trixany: *her eyes become slits* Sharpen.

Sharpen: Hrmmmm? *slurps his orange soda*

Trixany: If you turn out to be Bubblebuttbunny69?

Sharpen: ...

Trixany: I am going to [BLEEP]ing [BLEEP] you up.

Sharpen: *sluuuuurrrrrps*