#physically active. you get it)
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gonna be real here boss when it comes to the ancestral hall scene i am 100% on jiang cheng's side
#mdzs#jiang cheng#jc apologism#yanyan speaks#king that is his house. you are in his house. you left and you did not come back so that is not your house anymore.#you don't get to walk around like you own the place because you actively chose to give that up#also king you hit first....jc was being an ass but you were the one who escalated a verbal confrontation into a physical one#also these are all thoughts i had on my very first readthrough before i became a jc stan#i only became a jc stan at the guanyin temple scene#mo dao zu shi
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I was gonna wait and post these till I had more doodles but I’ll just post them now it’s fine. I’ll just explain stuff in the tags as per usual
Some Raz poses and some Dion and Adam stuff
.
(Please do not use or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me thank you)
#deersart#my art#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#razputin aquato#psychonauts razputin#psychonauts raz#dion aquato#Psychonauts dion#adam joseph gette#Psychonauts Adam#this isn’t intended to be ship art of Dion and Adam#not in this instance#i just love Adam basically being Raz’s third brother figure#Lizzie and Gisu are there in a tiny tiny doodle so I won’t tag them but they’re there#i continue to draw Raz in a bunch of little outfits#if he’s not careful he’s gonna get a heatstroke wearing all that thick clothing and doing a bunch of physical activity#i wouldn’t say Adam and Dion would hate eachother. neutral on both ends I think#but since they both know Raz and Gisu I can imagine they’d be in the same circle and hangout everyonce in while#even if it’s not together#although maybe they’d be really chill friends#idk#it’s fun to think about#adams my favorite intern#let me know if you think there’s something else I should tag#I’d have more doodles but I got sucked into a game
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i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.
He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.
And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.
And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.
Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.
Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."
There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.
It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.
Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.
At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.
"Do you like to do anything?"
Nothing. Just silence.
Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.
Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.
Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.
And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.
He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.
Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.
So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.
"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"
"Don't."
He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.
Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"
"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."
It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"
The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."
Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."
And they fall back into silence.
Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."
He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.
(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)
At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.
Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.
("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")
(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)
(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)
It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."
The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."
The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.
When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.
Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.
"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."
When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.
Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc prompt#man i just really need more dpdc stuff where danny and bruce have a good relationship. like man i NEED it. like i need to see these two#bonding together. and not in a cracky 'oh danny is a distant friend/cousin/etc' stuff but like. active participants in each other's lives#or as active as can be in this case. i neeeeed these two getting along and caring about one another#this idea came to me like last night and hasn't left since nd it was driving me up the wall to think about both positively and negatively b#i neeeded someone to hear about this or i was gonna implode#danny is the first son#tried to just get the general gist of the idea down but i definitely thought of the idea that bruce lowkey suspects vlad for having a hand#Vlad allows Danny to sneak off because he thinks Danny is alone. if he knew Bruce was there he'd be piiisssed and would put a stop to it#Sam and Tucker are alive they just got ghosted for a bit by danny bc he was in Major Grief and didn't wanna socialize. He couldn't go to#them because he didn't wanna put them in danger via Vlad.#oh that thing he handed Bruce? Yeah that's his ghost core. I have a headcanon (that isnt always applied) that ghosts can take their cores#out of their bodies at will and painlessly and without issue. and its common practice actually to do so bc they can be a not insignificant#distance away from said core before problems start to act up. and its common for ghosts to leave their physical cores at their lairs for#safekeeping because as long as the physical core is fine: so is the ghost. they can reform if their body gets destroyed. it also acts as a#fast travel sometimes. where they can reform at their core in an instant. its not inspired in the slightest by SU but i do see the overlap#most cores are pretty small for safety sake: its harder to hit if its small. and they're pr resilient too but its better to be safe than#sorry. so yeah. danny essentially gave bruce the physical embodiment of his soul and indirectly said#'if anything happens to me at least i'll be safe with you'#danny doesn't know he's batman btw#starry rambles.#was gonna go into danny becoming a vigilante beside bruce but im sleeeepy so i'll do that in a reblog. he's gonna go by nightingale if#anyone is interested. stereotypical but to be frank it is a *good* name imo. has a good amount of syllables and consonants to it#and the bird theme. and since its part of an ancestral name it has even more backing for it being bird-y without being meta
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the answer to many problems is just “get fatter”
#ppl making comments on your weight? get bigger so they won’t even make eye contact#hate doing some kinda physical activity?? if you’re fat enough#you can’t!#talk
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Samurai and Ninja in crappy pics because December here is under a constant cloud and I just want y'all to see them all golden and cute without learning how to take aesthetic pictures 🥴 💙❤️😆🥰
linktr.ee/Mezzy
#klance#can i tell everyone to look away before i write tags to someone privately lmao no? damn#anyway yes i meant music!! and thank you for sharing something!!#baking seems like a hyperfixation#like i know you said you baked once but then look at me#...i was thinking if i could make salads.... i gotta be medicore at least at one food thing#its a joke its a joke#i will one day get used to focusing on more complicated kitchen work than heating up meat or cooking things in salt and water#anyone else had trouble getting out of bed this december?#once i do i try to pick physical activities that dont require creative thinking because man#at the post office i had small talk with a lady waiting in line she didnt speak polish so u know me it happened#and she recommended light therapy lamp#im very tempted to try it becase i had record bad thoughts sleepless nights and jerking awake this month#it might be rooted in economic instability growing inflation costs of living and shitty working conditions while still trying to buy gifts?#but hey there are things we cant have control over and there are things we can#ive got winter wonderland comic coming though#i will try my best to speed-finish it as a christmas gift aight#i hope its going to be a nice thing!!#wow thats a long set of tags
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The Almighty Sheriff!
Save a horse, ride a cowboy~
#respecfully sir: AWOOGA arf arf bark AWOOGA#If this gets 30 notes I'll take his shirt off for yall lol#with his top surgery scars Of course#Ive seen that's a super popular HC for him and I think thats great! Good for him!#Farm boi#no fr working in a farm makes you develop muscles that you didnt even know you had#having flashbacks from highschool when they made us work in the garden for two hours under the scorching afternoon sun#I went to a highschool that was all Ooo we are green thumbs and we shall teach the young ones how to plant and harvest their own food#and my god that shit was so physically demanding mate#i didnt had my diagnosis on how horribly mangled my body was So I had to work in the farm thing like all the others and try not to pass out#even the jocks that were fit and always running and playing football during all the recesses were dead quiet after working outside#and all that those classes did for me was to create a hatred for working in any type of gardening activity so they failed spectaculary lol#SO ANYWAYS my point is Starlo can defo deadlift bags of 70kg\150lbs with one arm without breaking a sweat#undertale yellow#uty#Starlo#Starlo uty#north star uty#myart
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If you're gonna go around talking about how invalid self-diagnosis is and how you should ALWAYS just go to a doctor because they're the experts, consider doing the following instead:
Reminding yourself that no doctor is infallible, and unfortunately there are shitty and VERY misinformed doctors out there
Advocate for the spreading of accurate information about the neurodivergence or illness or disorder or etc.
In that same vein, dispel myths and misconceptions about said Brain And Body Things™
Advocate for easier access to evaluation and diagnosis
Support people who have been medically gaslit in the past and just want to know what's going on with themselves
Support people who have had their life affected by their symptoms (despite not knowing what was causing them) and just want to know what's going on with themselves
Support people who just Feel something Wrong and just want to know what's going on with themselves
Just fucking support people and stop tearing others down because you're white knighting
There are people intentionally making a mockery of things like DID or being autistic, among other things. And there are people who mis-self-diagnose (usually due to research that isn't deep enough) and are fed misinformation which leads to them misrepresenting the disorder.
But there are also people who have the symptoms, looked into the symptoms, found something that matched the symptoms, and maybe FINALLY felt they had an answer when they couldn't find one because they didn't have the means or whatever the reason.
And you're telling them that they're making a mockery of a disorder because they wanted to find a reason. And it's because you associate them with the people on TikTok that you roll your eyes at. And it's fucking annoying.
TL;DR:
Maybe instead of being a dick about self-diagnosis, you could help set a path towards making it so people don't have to in the fucking first place.
(Also, as for my opinion on self-dx, self-dx with a good amount of research from verified accurate sources = A-OK. I'm saying this as a professionally diagnosed person who has had to self-dx in the past. I've been wrong about some things and right about others, and professionals have been right about some and wrong about others. But it helped to set me down the right path. I wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't.)
#day.docx#actuallydid#actually did#actuallydissociative#actually dissociative#actually autistic#actually autism#actually adhd#dissociative identity disorder#other specified dissociative disorder#autism#autism spectrum disorder#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#i am so. fucking. tired of this shit.#i am incredibly privileged to have been able to get help#ESPECIALLY being black and AFAB#and having cfs—a disorder which doctors often don't understand—makes me particularly passionate about it#bc a lot of doctors do “well you seem fine. you're just tired? have you tried more physical activity?” (lmfao)#either do something about it‚ however small it may be‚ or just fucking stop#it's getting old#it's BEEN old
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GMMTV can do another year of Starlympics, but can't give me a Gym Bros BL!
GMMTV 2025, I better see a Gym Bros BL or else!
#gmmtv 2025#you have the roster GMMTV#now delivery the show#you have THE OTHER Ohm now#YOU HAVE FORCE#Why can I not get the easiest BL to ever BL in the history of BL?!#just put gay men in a gym#it's not that hard!#but you are going to put a whole bunch of nerds on a court and make them do physical activities?!#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!
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the magnus archives is a podcast about the horrors of having a job
#and not even just the archives i mean. like every other statement is a look into a different career and the horror extracted from it.#im rlly interested in the fact that a lot of people giving statements have very unglamorous jobs (waste collector/cleaner/exterminator etc)#or are otherwise explicitly working class and live mediocre lives or have fallen on harder times. the cracks in life where the bad seeps in#even a lot of the ppl with fancier hobbies or jobs are often criminals or doing illegal activity. just the way societys laws create gaps#for the bad things to get us. and of course the ARCHIVES where you are stuck in a dead-end job that is actively ruining your mental health#and you literally cannot quit like physically no matter how bad it gets and your boss is the most evil person ever and you are fated to die#to die because of your job. and you had no idea. what could you do? it was your job.#tma#the magnus archives
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it is just unfathomable how actively cruel people will choose to be because fundamentally they dont view brown people as real humans with lives that are worth something. awesome 👍 i think some of you should die 😁
#observant followers may have noted i became progressively less active on tumblr#after getting a job which often makes me physically tired. it does not take that long to check for verification when i am home#and it takes nothing to Not make some fucking insanely evil assumptions and sabotage someone's#attempt to stay alive.#losing $20 will probably not impact Your life meaningfully - it is fucking life or death for some people#its the desperation in your attempts to justify incredible cruelty!! if you shut up you wont embarrass yourself.#babbling
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NoooOOOOOOO MORVAY NOT AGAIN!!! Two haloween s?? When will you be freee!! 💦💦💦
MR FATHER PLE AXSSE
#poor morb. glutton for punishment. and aster's just giggling elsewhere#tryna stick candy into Dante's mouth#bAFFLED by this character combination#how did dante get lured into the torture chambers with the 3 old men?#why is the eiden doll stressed?#is this a We Don't Know How to Deal With Our Burgeoning Feelings of Love session#so they all beat on an effigy of their target#in an effort to sort out their complicated feelings about eiden#or is eiden. like. legit trapped in the body of a plushie#just for this one experience. you know. like experiencing all the horrors and pains of getting stabbed by flaming scissors#but not actually experiencing harm to your real physical body#that's sufficiently spooky for a hallows eve brouhaha is it not?#-evil words by ancient fox man#did they just steal one of Blade's eiden plushies. inject it with eiden's soul#then start smacking it like a pinata#topper would never let that happen!!! I'm sure actual eiden is not trapped in the doll! probably!!#can't believe this is the only time rei and kuya are cooperating with each other...#bunch of tsunderes beating up an eiden doll...#ok BUT WHERE IS THE BLOOD FROM#turns out they were all just butchering an entire wild boar together#um. new sleepover activity i guess
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do you ship ravage and drift? you draw them a lot and they're always so touchy lol
nah. they're really touchy amicas, tho. probably because im always touchy with my friends and it just kinda rubs off on my art. ravage is my Me character so i do end up giving him traits i have. one of those is being touchy with people he cares about 🤷♂️. he's especially touchy with drift as when they were grouped together in the dead end (which is where they met in my brain), ravage spent a lot of hours curled up in drift's car alt with laserbeak and buzzsaw for shelter. that touchy aspect never really left their dynamic.
and besides,
drift/deadlock's candle has always been lit for someone else.
(plus an extra doodle of them)
#ask: anon#tf art#transformers#more than meets the eye#transformers art#maccadams#maccadam#blight rambles#drift | deadlock#drift#ravage#tf ravage#transformers ravage#mtmte#transformwrs idw#not gonna go all out on tags here#my art#good rule of thumb for me is that unless it is specifically tagged as ship then its not ship#not much of a transformers romance person in general#like there are exceptions and i DO enjoy tf ships. i am actively encouraging ppl to ask about em/about my opinions on ur otps#but my rav and drift are amicas#very TOUCHY amicas. i draw them touching a lot bc i think theyd be pretty physically affectionate with one another#they hug. they cuddle. drift carries ravage occasionally. they speak through hand simply just to feel the contact. ravage puts all his#weight on drift on bad pain days. drift does the same for him. its a big part of their dynamic. its the Trust that comes with that touch#theyre sparkbonded to each other as amicas too. like these two cant really get closer. but its not a romantic dynamic 🤷♂️#i cant stop you from seeing it that way and. im not gonna try lol. but anon asked so i figured id answer and talk a bit more about em#idk rambling in the tags
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what is breakfast in japanese❓🧐
(first drawing cropped and more detailed😽⬇️)
first I lol'd, then I serious'd /ref
#sorry chat I love Rob so much he's amazing#rob guthard#can't stop thinking of how past Rob saw future Alice in the forest as static figures that was so cool holy fiddleshit#imagine getting so far into an alternate dimension that you physically travel to the future/past#the left right game#left right game#left right game rob#rob j guthard#I like to think his bangs are like super tucked into his hat when he drives#like that one wednesday plushie with the big ass receding hairline#it just appears like he has a wack looking buzzcut because of how far he pushes his bangs back#I hope you guys like my art im new here😵🦫#drawing on the top right was before he got all stinky n smelly#the loss of a diva (whatever that means)#I drew this while actively having stage 800 artblock
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thinking tigerghost thoughts. im sorry mr rivera I was not familiar with your game
#ntu tag#mannys just chuffed danny has had an existential crisis#trans danny and you KNOW manny’s gonna dive right in. anyways#mans got an appetite and a zest for two-person physical activities (fighting dancing etc). what can you say#this is the closest Ill probably get to posting smut on main… not gonna tag it…#manny’s eclectic apartment with a . a twin bed. good for cuddling??
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“He sleeps against his father’s chest, and he does not stir.
Yuuta’s never seen Sensei look at anyone the way he looks at Megumi right now.”
OH MY GODDDDDDUGHHHHH THIS PEAK. I honestly teared up reading this bit. You can feel the love emanating from so many characters in your writing within this chapter, I find it so so moving. Thank you so much for sharing your writing!!!
I actually really like the kind of messiness of this moment because Gojo’s conflicted about that moment in a lot of the same ways that Tsumiki was conflicted about comforting her brother.
Earlier, Yuuta had said that Megumi seemed happier when Tsumiki was around. And Tsumiki had replied that she felt conflicted about comforting him, because she knows how private he normally is. She wanted to be there to comfort him, but she was worried it was just one more thing done to him that he didn’t want.
Gojo is feeling a lot of the same.
Like. Megumi was never that kid that was very open or cuddly. He was never that kid that let you carry him, even when he was tiny. He’s Gojo’s baby boy and he has the disposition of a feral raccoon with a biting problem. Do not touch him.
Gojo knows for a fact that Megumi would never in a million years let Gojo pick him up and hold him had the circumstances been normal.
There’s this unique act of love in allowing yourself to be vulnerable around others. It’s an act of absolute trust, if you think about it. I’m already hurt; I trust you not to hurt me worse.
And I think that makes it significant that Megumi doesn’t have that relationship with anyone.
He doesn’t let himself be vulnerable around Gojo. He doesn’t let himself be vulnerable around Tsumiki. He closes himself off and hides weakness and now he just can’t anymore.
I think Gojo in particular was aware of how Megumi doesn’t let himself be vulnerable around even his family, because Gojo is better suited to notice when Megumi’s hurt. Tsumiki knows her brother best, but it’s hard to hide from Gojo’s eyes. He notices when something’s wrong with his kids, and Megumi in particular.
He missed it when Megumi was a kid. He doesn’t want to miss it again.
So he sees it when something’s wrong in megumi’s world. And he sees it when megumi doesn’t come to them with it. He knows that megumi wouldn’t have let him hold him like that had he not been so hurt.
I think that Megumi was never really that kid that let you hold him, growing up. Even at age five, he was horrifically independent and had a very firm boundary line set between himself and absolutely anyone else. Baby Megumi never let Gojo lug him around, despite how adorable and portable he was. He sure as hell wasn’t letting Gojo carry him when he hit his teen years.
So. You’ve got this kid. You love him. Earth-shattering type of love. Soul-rending love. Sun, moon, and stars. Real “burn the world to keep him warm” type shit. He’s your baby boy, even if he’d fucking strangle you if you said it.
He’s just been hurt in a way that fucking horrifying. The most profound violations you can imagine. He can barely open his own eyes, he’s that hurt.
It’s probably your fault.
Because the assholes who hurt him? Those people? They’ve hurt him before, and you didn’t kill them for it. It wasn’t because it was right for your kid. Killing them for his safety would have been what’s right for your kid. It was just. Politics. Not only that, but the lynchpin of their plan counted on you not calling him once while they were hurting him. They banked their fucking lives on you not calling him even once in a week that included his birthday.
And they were right.
So yeah.
It’s probably your fault.
But you can’t turn back time. He’s hurt, and you’ve got him now, and all you want to do is comfort him. He’s your little boy, and you almost fucking lost him, you almost had to fucking bury him, and you just want to hold him while he’s afraid. You want to hold him until he stops shaking. You want to fix this.
And, at the end of the day, you just can’t deny how much he’d fucking hate that.
But you do it anyway. Someone needs to hold him, and you make it you. And maybe that’s just one more time someone did something to your little boy’s body that he didn’t want.
So.
How the fuck do you live with yourself?
#sea glass gardens#I think at the same time what’s interesting is megumi’s own conflicted status with physical touch and comfort#like. One thing I really tried to emphasize was just how humiliating what the Zenin did to him was#Megumi’s a private person#his privacy was violated on every level#they bathed him without his consent. they had people watching him get dressed. he’s traumatized by just the sheer public humiliation aspect#alone of what they did. he does not want people to see him vulnerable right now because he’s got very messed up emotions around exactly that#sense of vulnerability. but at the same time#he’s hurt on a profound level. he’s just so fucking hurt right now.#he /wants/ comfort. he wants someone to make him feel safe again. and I talked about it in another ask where it’s actually the effect of#Yuuta’s RCT on him. it is two sided. it makes Megumi feel an artificial sense of safety. you just could not waterboard this out of him.#he’ll tell no one. Megumi wants desperately for someone to just comfort him and make him feel like he’ll be okay again. of course he does.#he’s in so much fucking pain and they hurt him so bad and in so many ways. but he’s so traumatized by how they violated his privacy that he#wouldn’t be able to ask that from people. he’d shut himself off and not accept the comfort Gojo actively wants to give#fushiguro Megumi#gojo satoru#jjk
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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).
It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.
It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.
Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.
#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity#and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently#just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle#my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really#can barely even hold my phone to type rn#i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult#and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling#and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles#but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful#this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife#when the pain is so bad im dissociating#which i was#switched to sanding instead then#idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm#there is no norm just rapid decline#i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next#oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway#what else can you fucking do#spindle making#whittling#supported spindle#vent in tags
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