#physical therapy and psychiatry

[sickness-stricken]

I’m not giving this anon the satisfaction of directly replying to their ask but to the anon who went in my inbox basically telling me I deserved to be put under psychiatric hold, restrained and have meds forced down my throat because “WeLl YoU mUsT hAvE bEeN put iN tHeRe FoR a ReAsOn” genuinely choke I am not kidding

The entire reason I was put in the ward in the first goddamn place is because MY PARENTS FUCKING LIED. They told my psychiatrist that I had “violent outbursts” and that I was “seeing demons” when neither were true. I fought back against my mom when she beat me and I would talk to myself when I was playing video games on my phone or playing pretend. You know how I ended up developing ACTUAL delusions? BY BEING IN THE FUCKING WARD. BY BEING FORCED ON MEDS THAT CAUSED THE VERY THING THEY WERE “CURING”.

Nice job putting words in my mouth, by the way. “Duhhhh you just don’t want anyone else to get better” I DIDN’T NEED TO GET BETTER. I needed to get out of my childhood home so I could stop getting FUCKING BEATEN. The ONLY thing the ward fixed was me not being at home. Moving half way across Canada to live with my aunt once I “graduated” did the same goddamn thing.

My entire philosophy has NEVER been “huh-duh just never get better” it’s ALWAYS been “de-systemize your recovery”. Talk to other victims in your community exactly like I did. Question what pharma presents to you and demand informed consent. You can’t strawman me to be the boogieman psychiatry warns you about when I stand for none of the things your strawman “👻Psychotic👻” person does. Kiss my ass.

[jewish-microwave-laser]

https://www.tumblr.com/jewish-microwave-laser/759470606790115328/ngl-i-kinda-love-going-into-surgery-or-whatever

Tag this as “Munchausen syndrome symptoms” because that is word for word what this is. Enjoy the attention while it lasts then get a new source.

no lmfao??? munchausen is considered "factitious disorder imposed on self" because it needs to be factitious (artificially created) and a disorder (getting in the way of one's quality of life). i'm simply a cripple with too many responsibilities and a history of being ignored by doctors, who likes being taken seriously and being taken care of every once in a while

also, i do have a different source. like i said on the fucking post, i'm a massive sub. i'm a puppy player even. i black boots. i get tied up. i get hit. do you want me to go on or are you done with your armchair psychology?

[merrysithmas]

also clarification for those without the knowledge: DNPs are clinical doctors. A DNP is a clinical doctorate meaning they practice the field of nursing at the doctorate level which includes diagnosing and treating patients, ordering and interpreting imaging and values, and creating a plan of care. They are considered primary and independent providers equal to an MD (and side note: many DNPs have more hard schooling years than MDs, although MDs have longer residencies).

Clinical doctors such as MD, DO, and DNP are 100% referred to as "Doctor" in the clinical setting. Because they are doctors.

[nyanryan]

the need to have "neurotypical" and "neurodivergent" be two completely different things with no grey area in between is a disservice to both groups. i would say every single person on this earth could qualify as neurodivergent if they bothered to go see a psychiatrist. its just that only certain ppl are going to be put in a situation where they cannot function and need a label to explain it bc society

[soniyatv]

"Contemplative neuroscience (or contemplative science) is an emerging field of research that focuses on the changes within the mind, brain, and body as a result of contemplative practices, such as mindfulness-based meditation, samatha meditation, dream yoga, yoga nidra, tai chi or yoga"

[hesitantvampirealien]

i wanna sob every time i see gerard talking about their recovery, because at first i felt comforted with their story and their recovery and i wanted to believe i could make it, but right now i don't know if i really can anymore. I want to think i can, but not because i'm optimistic but because i'm fucking terrified that this feeling of death being the only way out might be true for me

[louis-damien]

I love medicine 👍

[headspace-hotel]

facts about The Fear, after 20 years of life with her

The Fear is NOT:

an intruder, invader, or some other entity from "outside" You

inappropriate, wrong, or incorrect

a responsibility

a punishment

"irrational" or otherwise able to be understood through a relationship to "rationality"

an "inaccurate" representation of reality

The Fear IS:

an innate part of you

extra-rational—she exists outside and completely independent from "rationality" and does not respond to being judged according to that lens

self-love—her purpose is to protect you and keep you safe

self-sufficient—fear is a 100% whole, complete entity that doesn't "represent" or "reflect" something else

earnest—fear is always a 100% real experience that is exactly as it is felt, and, needing no comparison or reference to any external reality, it is not "dishonest" or "inaccurate"— it asserts a claim about only itself

subversive [not quite the word I am looking for but it will have to do]— is not necessarily beholden to social and cultural norms of what should be feared, how much, and how you should respond. She does not stop existing in the absence or suppression of vocabulary to describe her.

a demand for care— she does not just communicate to you but to the community you are part of; she calls attention to an obligation that this community has toward you, to make sure that you are safe within it and that your experiences are heard and understood.

yeah, so, i've had severe anxiety for my whole life and the way it's been treated and dealt with, and the way I've been taught to understand it, has really fucked me up so I am trying to lay the groundwork for understanding it differently

I think it's pretty fucked up that we're taught to see anxiety as deceptive or inaccurate. Now, obviously the images or projections in my fearful thoughts do not usually "reflect reality," but I have come to see this as...not particularly important?

Teaching an anxiety sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict "irrational" fear is, in my opinion, the same as teaching a chronic pain sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict pain with no clear physical source. You might as well speak of "irrational" pain, and pain has the same relationship to rationality that fear has.

"Irrationality" is a quality assigned to fear that is judged by an outside observer, or by the collective cultural biases and hang-ups of a society, as not appropriate to a given situation. This is total fucking nonsense and we should be talking about that, because...well, the first reason is that it implies some kind of fixed standard for what fear ultimately is and isn't for. i like to tell people to watch one of those Coyote Peterson videos where he's going to get a tarantula hawk wasp to sting him, because he's obviously having a strong physical fear response, even though he knows it won't kill him. Is it "rational" to fear suffering and not just death? How much suffering? Sit with that one a little while.

The second reason, which is even more convincing, is that the "rational" brain is not consulted at any point, ever, when a person feels afraid. It's just a response. The fear response is not routed through the conscious, sapient, reasoning brain. And thank God, because if we needed to hear back from an upstairs executive before we could decide whether to run from a lion, our species would be extinct.

Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy were absolute fucking shit at making my life any better, but fantastic at wrecking my ability to identify my own emotions, because Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety basically amounts to trying to brainwash yourself into thinking you don't feel the emotions that you do. It's a really neat way to develop bizarre psychosomatic symptoms and start experiencing anxiety through constant body pain, swollen lymph nodes, and digestive issues.

For an institution that pathologizes having "alters," psychiatry sure loves to encourage a suffering person to view normal and ultimately good parts of themselves as distinct, intruding entities to be shoved in a closet somewhere.

And yes. Fear is ultimately a good part of you, a part of you that loves you.

What began to set me free was feeling that acid terror and sickness and rage course through my body and realizing—really realizing—that I was being illuminated with this ancient, powerful force driving me to LIVE.

I want us to make it. I want you to live.

And you know what, I want me to live too.

I abandoned the doctrine of calming down—Lord knows it had never worked anyway—and started really just exploring and existing in the Fear.

How did that feel? Bad. Very very very very very bad and really not productive or helpful at all initially. Which was unavoidable. Necessary. She had been frantically clawing to communicate with me for so long, and I had been shutting her away, silencing her, resenting her presence in my psyche. I started trying to show gratitude toward the signals my body gave me. I started trying to show gratitude toward her—and i guess the Fear was a Her now, this just seemed more respectful.

And it seemed like nothing happened, but several things happened.

I stopped searching for validation. That was a big one. At some point I just...stopped needing a "reason" or justification for the fear I felt (trauma???? neurodivergence???? neurodivergence trauma????) and the fact that I experienced it became completely sufficient and satisfying to me. So much guilt and confusion disappeared.

I also became steadily more confident about my own boundaries, particularly in regards to recovery.

It's awful now that I think about it, but I think I felt this sense of almost moral obligation towards "recovery," as if I needed to "overcome fear" to be Courageous and Virtuous. It made me feel crushing guilt to feel any hesitation about this.

But then this started to change. It became more real to me that was the only person affected by the steps I did or didn't take toward recovery, and there was no moral dimension to it. A therapist couldn't put me in a box I wouldn't willingly go into.

Freedom from these judgmental frameworks is really important to me. I think that I always hated the idea of getting "better" because it seemed like "better" would mean just getting better at submitting to things I was afraid of while everything felt just as bad as it always did on the inside.

And on some level—even though I could never put it into words at the time—I violently hated the idea of "recovery" from some of my fears because it seemed like the ultimate denial of agency. I didn't want to "become okay with it"—the possibility felt dehumanizing. It felt awful.

And I realize now that this is because The Fear represented something I needed to have a right to. Many of my most life-destroying fears centered around things being done to my body, and if I could have pressed a button and been no longer afraid, I wouldn't have, even though it would have spared me so much suffering, because...I needed it to be okay to want agency over my body. I needed it to be right. The Fear, in this case, was a demand that my body be treated as sacred.

I realized that there were many cases where The Fear was a territorial claim of sorts, a demand that certain needs be honored and met—She needs this. This is FUCKING non-negotiable.

And it really...prompted me to look backward on my life and see The Fear differently: not as a responsibility I had failed to shoulder (me?? a little child??? responsible?? Responsible for being brave, when every day felt like facing a firing squad?????) but as a collective responsibility

Because I was not alone in those memories—I was surrounded by adults that saw me suffering, and often dismissed, ignored or ridiculed it. The Fear grew larger and larger; why?—to protect me. Because teachers, nurses, doctors, and camp counselors did not do any of the thousand thousand things they could have done to make that little girl feel safe. Because my well-meaning parents praised me when I was "brave" but I, a little kid, literally couldn't communicate how awful it always felt.

The Fear was not there to torture me. The Fear was and is doing her best to keep me safe. It's not wrong, there's no need for guilt. It just is.

It doesn't feel good. But maybe one day it will feel better.

[copperbadge]

How did you find the doctor(s) who assessed you for ADHD? Im looking into the process of getting diagnosed because (although ive suspected I might have adhd for years now) I've been struggling a lot more lately and i want to try medication to see if it helps at all. Im trying to search for psychiatrists through my health insurance portal but the the results im getting are all for child/adolescent psychiatry specialists, and I dont think that'll be much help for an adult adhd assessment? Did you have an established therapist to refer you for your assessment or were you able to find a psychiatrist independently?

I actually just kind of had to freeform it, but that does mean I have some tips to share!

I will say, I have never once used a health insurance portal to find someone to treat me for anything. Often their search engine is fucked up and the information is sometimes out of date. I almost always either ask someone who I know has had similar issues if they have a recommendation, ask my treating physician if I have one, or just google until I find someone reputable-looking; any qualified medical center or professional will list what insurance they take anyway, and you can always ask when you make the appointment.

So here's the process for how to do that!

When I was first considering it, I asked a friend who'd had an evaluation that came back not-ADHD, which I liked because it meant we knew it wasn't like, a weird Adderall pill mill or something. I really wanted to have a professional and thorough evaluation because I knew myself and knew I was capable of gaming a questionnaire. The place she had her evaluation was unfortunately having some staffing issues; part of the reason it took me so long is that I played phone tag with them for ages -- I'd call, and regardless of what time of day I called, their scheduler would be "out", so I'd leave a message and never get a call back. Ultimately I said "I really need to talk to a human, because your scheduler has not returned any of my numerous calls" and they said they could transfer me to another office outside of Chicago (in the burbs). That was not going to be accessible to me, so I told them thanks but I'll go somewhere else. Then COVID hit and I was not going to go anywhere near a medical center unless I had to for about two years.

So, when I was making my second serious run at getting evaluated, I did what might be expected of me by longtime readers of this blog: I made a spreadsheet.

I want to caveat this up top with REALLY IMPORTANT CONTEXT: I did not do all of this in a single day. The process from starting research to making an evaluation appointment took about a month, and probably would have taken longer if I wasn't getting somewhat desperate. Do not push yourself to do this as a single act. Research alone is a multi-day process; some days I looked at the open tabs and only entered one tab's worth of information. It took me quite a bit of time to write the form email I sent inquiring about an assessment. It took me time to call the clinic back when they asked me to call to book the appointment. This is a series of steps, not a single leap.

So!

I was looking for a clinic rather than an individual, in part because I'd heard a couple of horror stories about people who went to a psychiatrist and just got argued with for an hour instead of actually getting evaluated. So I googled, and here are some key terms for you, chicago adult adhd assessment. Chicago obviously for the region, but "adult adhd" (putting it in quotes will help) is the important term that will help you filter out a lot of child psych stuff. A lot of what I looked at did included family or child assessment/therapy but were clear that they also evaluated adults.

Then I went through every legit-looking search result and noted down, in my spreadsheet, the name of the clinic/company, the contact phone and email, the URL, the physical location (I needed to be able to get to it fairly easily) and whether they took my insurance. Even if they didn't take my insurance (all but one did) I still put them into the spreadsheet so that if I found them again I could check the sheet and know I didn't need to investigate further. I also tended to bump more legitimate and friendly-looking places to the top of the sheet. And if I were going to do it again I would also look for one specific thing, which is an assessment guide of some kind.

The assessment guide may be something they only give you after you speak with them, so it's not a no-go if they don't have one on their website, but it basically tells you what generally will go on during the assessment, how long it will take, and what you should bring. A full assessment like I had is estimated to take 4-6 hours and they recommended I wear layers so I wouldn't be overly cold/warm in their office, and to bring a snack. That's the kind of information you want, duration of the assessment and what they recommend for you, to ensure that you're working with people who are thorough and care about your comfort.

So, I have this spreadsheet now of places to reach out to, which I know take my insurance and do adult assessment. In the spreadsheet I also had columns for what date I contacted them and whether they'd responded. I started reaching out via email, one per day, with the form email I'd written.

The form email basically said "I'm 42 with no previous diagnosis but I have a family history of autism and dyslexia. I've been told I should get assessed for ADHD, so I'm looking for a clinic that will do the assessment and takes (my insurance). I prefer to be contacted by email but if need be, my phone number is (phone number). Please let me know if you have any open appointments and what information you will need from me to book an evaluation with you." (You can always ask for more information about the actual evaluation process once they respond.)

If I didn't get a response within 24 hours, I moved on to the next, but I only greyed out the text in that line of the spreadsheet; I didn't disqualify/remove the nonresponsive ones because again, I wanted to make sure I kept that information in case they eventually did respond. I did this with about ten clinics, because I figured I must be able to find at least one in ten who could do the eval, and I could go back and research more if necessary.

I think the third or fourth one I reached out to was the first to respond, and I ended up going with them; I had a very positive experience in the assessment itself but it was a real pain in the ass getting the documentation from them -- they took about a month to go through the evaluation data (this is not abnormal but is rather longer than usual according to my psychiatrist) and they gave me an in-person-by-zoom report once it was ready. That said, it took another four months and the threat of reporting them to the state to get them to send me the text of the eval (in part because the evaluator left the clinic unexpectedly with my formal report not yet written). But that's something that's truly impossible to know until you're working with them, and highly unusual, so don't let concerns about that deter you. If you end up in that situation come hit me up and I'll tell you how I dealt with that.

My eval recommended an executive function coach, but if I haven't been able to func it by now I never will, so I thanked them for the recommendation and went looking for a psychiatrist unaffiliated with the clinic to prescribe me meds. There, the key words you're going to be looking for are again "adult adhd" but also "adult disability" and if you want medication that's less likely to be a huge fucking hassle, "medication management". My psychiatrist and I meet every two months to reup my prescription, but he doesn't require me to take a regular drug test or meet him in person in order to get a new scrip, as some people have encountered. We meet in person once or twice a year (I can't remember, it's due to a legal requirement in Illinois) but otherwise it's over zoom.

So yeah -- it's a process, but there are ways to streamline and manage it, and a few tripwires in place to make sure you don't end up screwed by the system. Definitely feel free to ask if you have questions, either here or if you want a more indepth conversation you can email me at copperbadge@gmail.com. GOOD LUCK!

[ome-magical-ramblings]

Review: Spiritual Cleansing by Draja Mickaharic

If there's one book I would always go back to or always look back to or recommend to others it is this book! Seriously, that's how good this book is. To start with, this book is the best because it is direct, to the point, and only 100ish pages. I honestly have to put the following "warning" that the author himself puts in the start of the book:

Because some of these things sound simple and interesting, don't get an idea to “do a variation.” When you try to work “magic” using only your own enthusiasm you are treading in dangerous waters.

How do I sell you on this book? that's a funny way of me saying that this is the best book you will have in your library as a starting beginner. First let me mention some stuff from the book, which is evil eye being the first chapter and get dealt with so swiftly with a beer bath and there's no extra mystification or complicated procedure being given. As this whole book the procedures are simple but application of them consistently will proves their benefits. In the Arbatel itself we find the following:

God and Nature have ordained all things to a certain and appointed end: so that for examples sake, they who perform cures with the most simple herbs and roots, do cure the most happily of all. And in this manner, in Constellations, Words and Characters, Stones, and such like, do lie hid the greatest influences or vertues in deed, which are in stead of a miracle.

Protection while asleep, psychic, attacks, and stuff related to sleep and protecting your loved ones can be seen here where you can help someone who can't help themselves like a child or someone who's too weak to protect themselves at night.

My Favorite Chapter(4) is the bath/spiritual baths chapter. Every part of the bath from beginning to end is filled with gems and wisdom that you will not regret. 4 Cleansing baths, 12 herbal bath, 6 household items baths, 2 love baths, and 4 nut baths, like what's MORE I can say except mention the bath he got the most testimony out of! To add ¼ cup bicarbonate of soda (baking soda) to the regular bath water is an amazing cleansing bath both physically and spiritually :) of course praying, doing it with the instructions and so on is the best you can do!

Special mentions go to chapter 6 for teaching how to cleanse with an egg and not making it some tiktokized or 30 seconds or 2 minutes version of it. What can I say more is that it is a VERY amazing chapter, for all kind of cleansing emotional or spiritual, for eyestrain, for protection while asleep, cleansing your home, cleansing the sick, and cleansing your pet!

I will jump over chapter 7 and 8 despite them being EXTREMELY good and mention that chapter 9 is a MUST READ. Mainly these methods of washing the head or feeding the head are used to work with the non-physical part of the human mentation, not exactly a replacement for psychology or psychiatry or medical treatment of mental illnesses but it is an AMAZING addition to anyone who's healthy but feel slightly "off".

The last chapter and appendix is about finding spiritual practitioner to help you, and what Draja describe as "Recommended System of Treatment for General Therapy", I am honestly just going to say good read the book, it isn't that long and the weight of it is in gold with how much jam-packed it is with technique you would pick up from here or there. Go buy it, pirate it, I don't know just get it and see for yourself!

[wheelie-sick]

Hi! I’m just curious why you’re anti-psychiatry and the reasoning behind it if you’re comfortable sharing? I want to take care to specifically learn the reasoning so I can educate myself upon them, I’ve wanted to be a psychiatrist since I was a kid and so I’m wary of making any mistakes in my profession that could damage others or perpetuate harm. Thank you so much for your time. /genq

okay, first of all I'd recommend reading my post here which talks about why there are no good psychiatrists and this post here about how some people being helped by the system does not make the system good. they're long but the first is pretty foundational to my beliefs on psychiatry and the second covers the most common rebuttal I hear for antipsychiatry.

putting the rest of this under a cut because it's really fucking long because I wanted to provide some context to my beliefs and there's a lot of context

my foundational reasoning for being antipsychiatry comes from listening to other's experiences. I did not have a traumatic experience with psychiatry directly. I'm not going to repeat other's traumatic experiences but if you look through the antipsychiatry tags you can definitely find some of the repulsive things the psychiatric industry has done. my belief in antipsychiatry also comes from my experiences with therapy.

I have been cycled through many therapists who dropped me for being "too complicated" for them. my second most recent therapist I dropped after constant abuse from him.

-> TW for therapeutic abuse until "why I'm antipsychiatry" <-

my issues with my old therapist began when I first started seeing him. I was being actively abused at home and every time I tried to talk about the physical and emotional violence I was experiencing at home from my former father he would shut me down and tell me it was not abuse.

-> TW for descriptions of physical abuse for the next paragraph <-

I told him about the attempts to shove me down stairs. the times I was dragged around. the times I was thrown into the couch. the times I had my face slammed into a wall. the restraint. the hitting. the punching. the grabbing. I told him in detail. my mom has since admitted that I was abused by my former father.

He did not think it was abuse. he had an obligation to report this to CPS and he never did. he told me it was not abuse the minute I brought it up, before I ever even tried to use the word abuse. I could never talk about the violence I was experiencing because I would get shut down every time and eventually I gave up.

-> TW for emotional abuse for the next 2 paragraphs <-

several years later my former father disowned me. (that's why I call him my former father) he told me that he did not see me as his child anymore, that he hated me. he said some other rather disgusting things about me, most of which I will not repeat, but one sticks out. he told me mom that she should handle my being trans as if she was dealing with a dog; when it (and yes, he used the word it) misbehaves you should ignore it. this all happened in a single conversation.

in my next therapy session I was distraught. I didn't like my former father but it never feels good to be disowned. I was trying to talk to my therapist about this and I said "he hates me" my therapist doubted me and asked me "did he say he hates you or are you just perceiving he hates you" trying to, dare I say, gaslight me into thinking this was all my perception. he did this to me frequently when I brought up the emotional abuse I was experiencing. I said "yes, yes he did say that" and things got really quiet because for once he couldn't tell me it was all in my head. in that moment I lost all faith in him because I realized he was wrong. that he was manipulating me into believing I was the problem. that all these conflicts were my fault. but they were never my fault.

-> TW for mentions of self harm for the next 2 paragraphs <-

the final nail in the coffin came about 2 years later when I finally decided to open up about my self harm. I had relapsed on my self harm about 8 months prior, usually it was just a one off but this time it had spiraled out of control into the beginnings of an addiction. I wanted to stop, so I decided to open up to my therapist about it. he got angry at me. I was scared, and vulnerable, and he was angry. he asked me why I didn't tell him sooner, I said I was scared of hospitalization. a week later he threatened to hospitalize me multiple times after promising he wouldn't.

what actually made me drop him was 3 weeks later. I was tired of talking about self harm and I was feeling the same if it all. he asked me about it and I said I don't want to talk about it. he pressed mex accused me of avoiding therapy, threatened to hospitalize me if I didn't spit out adequate details. when I said I hadn't even self harmed that much he accused me of lying to him to avoid therapy. he crossed many boundaries that day and then pressured me into agreeing to fill out a form every week detailing all the information about my self harm down to how many cuts I made. that was my final straw. I was done.

why I'm antipsychiatry:

after that I started reflecting and realizing the whole thing was fucked up. from the starting point in 4th grade when I saw my first therapist to the ending point where I saw my second to last therapist (I had a therapist after the nightmare therapist, her name was Sara she was Deaf and amazing but largely unhelpful) the system was designed to produce bad therapists. the nightmare therapist was not the only bad experience I had with therapists, just the worst. they all liked to abuse their power over me, they all liked to deny my experiences and gaslight me into believing all my problems were my own perception rather than a real outside factor. this wasn't one bad therapist is was one bad system.

and I'm done. I'm so done. therapy has never helped me but it has hurt me and I don't think I can find a good therapist because the whole apple tree is rotting from the inside. I'm sticking with my psychiatrist because he has done minimal harm to me but my experience with therapy has thoroughly cemented that abuse isn't an exception it's the standard and therapists who aren't abusing their clients are breaking the rules. my experience is the norm and it shouldn't be but you can't reform a rotting tree you have to plant a new one.

that's what antipsychiatry also seeks to do. it's cutting down the apple tree but it's also planting a new, different fruit tree. a tree that respects autonomy of patients, that acknowledges patients' realities, that seeks to support not control and manipulate.

if you want to help people with their mental health I urge you to look into the alternatives to the psychiatric system and consider working there. the tree will turn you into a bad apple too because the tree is rotted but there's a new tree growing and you can find other ways to support people. admittedly I'm not the most familiar with alternatives to psychiatry but I know they do exist and they're becoming more common as people realize the damage the psychiatric system is doing.

sorry this was kinda a trauma dump but my antipsych beliefs largely stem from trauma so I wanted to share that context

[holdoncallfailed]

i like that the author of this velvet underground book started out talking about the 1964 world's fair and how so many of the examples of technological innovation on display were either electrical or electronic because i think electricity is one of the main currents (har har) through the band's history......the idea that electricity alone has the power to augment or alter any human urge which of course is the principle behind the electroconvulsive therapy that lou reed was subjected to as a kid and the trauma that caused him...and john cale also being institutionalized around the same time.......and sterling morrison talking about how during white light/white heat their engineer kept saying they couldn't play at that volume because they had literally exceeded their own technology's capacity for sound but their goal was to "fry the tracks" on a literal level anyway, to physically alter the recording equipment and the space and the listeners with electrically-enhanced sound which is in some ways a similar concept as ECT......and the velvets performing at the new york society for clinical psychiatry gala where they were purposefully trying to make their music as unbearable as possible to the point that a lot of the people got up and left and john recognized that that was lou's (and his own) way of getting revenge for having been traumatized by the institution of psychiatry..... the fact that what made their music so physically uncomfortable and loud was the electric element specifically the droning electrified viola…who wields the power now, who controls the electrical current now, who gets to pull the plug and say it's over, that's enough now.......not only getting revenge on the institution but doing so with the same basic PHYSICS of what they originally used to hurt you.......

[drill-teeth]

Extremely weird phenomon watching people put "autistic" or "adhd" or "disabled ally" very prominently in their bio and then on that same platform they bully people for common trairs and symptoms associated with autism or straight up spread mental health misinformation or fall back on "I can't be ableist I'm LITERALLY neurodivergent/an outspoken ally" when they're called out for crazy shit they said about other mental disorders or the physically disabled. And I don't think the answer to this is a witch hunt for who's really autistic. Because I've watched very kind people get chased off the internet for "faking" disorders that they likely weren't faking because online mental health communities decided they needed to purge the space of fakers. And we need self diagnosis because of the medical bias extremely prominent in the psychiatry and therapy field. It's just extremely frustrating to watch misinformation spread among a community that attracts vulnerable people. It's disheartening watching people who are seeking answers about their mental struggles people irl are ignoring get sucked into a vortex where suddenly they're going from "maybe I have autism?" to fear mongering about psychotic people or saying everyone struggling with NPD is an abuser or even mocking autistic folks who are higher needs. And claiming everyone criticizing the behavior or pointing out misinformation is secret ableism.

And like idk I don't have a catch all solution for mental health misinformation because it's already hard enough to get the general public to believe in actual mental health research that anything that's dressed up in gentle language and isn't literally a DID serial killer movie caricature can easily be passed off as legitimate anf healthy. But I'm begging people to put on their critical thinking caps here.

Who's being ableist in these situations? Who's being cruel? Who is benefitting? Is the person who's criticizing misinformation an ableist or is it people who built their platform around being neurodivergent and relatable shutting down the critism?

[magnoliasandarson]

earning it

The lab was barely alive. There was no loud music, no sparks flying, and the bots had returned to their respective rooms for the night. Tony fucking despised the silence.

But he couldn't find it in himself to move from the floor.

A handmade cardstock birthday card was half crumpled in his grip. Twenty little messy names were signed below a well wish and an (objectively shitty) drawing of Iron Man. They were all children from a field trip to the MET he had saved a few months back when some disgruntled lunatic decided he was going to build a death ray.

"You're our hero!" in glittery red gel pen.

It made him physically nauseous.

He hadn't saved them. Half had received severe burns, and the other half were so severely traumatized that they would spend the next several years in therapy, at minimum. He had reached out to the parents, the hospitals, and several children's psychiatry clinics. The Maria Stark Foundation would foot the bill for any costs incurred. Tony Stark- ever tossing money at Iron Man's mistakes.

He wasn't a hero. If he had been better, if he had been faster, he could've gotten those kids out without a scratch. He could've better contained the explosions. He could've stopped whatever-the-fuck his name was before there were any explosions.

Happy Birthday!

Another year alive. What did he have to show for it? New aches, new nightmares, new guilt... His skin crawled with the desire to do something anything. He chanced a glance over at the liquor cabinet, eyes catching the empty bottles he'd poured down the drain months ago...

No. He was alive, he was a genius, he was an inventor, he was Tony Goddamn Stark, and he could would make things better. He could deserve the stupid card. His fist uncurled around the crayon drawing of Iron Man, smoothing the crumpled paper gently.

All at once, he pushed himself to his feet, staggering to one of the drafting tables, "Battle stations kids," he clapped his hands, grinning when JARVIS raised the house lights and DUM-E and U rolled back out, "it's time SI got into the skin graft game."

[trans-axolotl]

does anti psych include medications? like if I’m looking to start mental health medications should I be wary of some or is it just about psych wards

Hi anon!

When I talk about antipsychiatry, I am usually critiquing the whole system, from outpatient, inpatient, meds, therapy--every part of it. I believe in psych abolition, which to me means that I think we need to transform our understanding of madness/mental illness/neurodivergence and create new methods of support and care within our communities. This does not mean that I think every single aspect of the current mental health system is always bad or harmful for individual people, but rather just that I'm interested in moving beyond our current fucked up system and the ways that it enables a so much harm.

When it comes to meds, I think about meds in a little bit of a different way than traditional psychiatry. Meds are a tool that some people find helpful, and that others find harmful. Like any other drug, psych meds come with a whole bunch of mental and physical effects, some of which will be desired, some of which will be less desired. Some people try out meds and find a med that has effects they really desire, and they are willing to tolerate the other effects of the med, even if they don't love it. Some people might try out meds and not want any of the mental, emotional, or physical effects that they experience on that med, but are open to other meds. Some people might never want to try meds and refuse all meds. Some people might want to be on meds at certain points of their lives, but not others. Some people might want to use a psych med off label, or in a different way than is prescribed. All of these relationships with medication are real ways that our community is going to engage with meds, and one isn't more valid than any other.

In general, what makes me wary of the way psychiatry engages with medication is that I don't think that most mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people are given the information we need to make an actually informed and free choice. So many of us are put on meds without our consent, whether that's through involuntary hospitalization or other methods of coercion. A lot of other people take meds voluntarily, but are not given all the information about the long-term effects of their medication, or are given false promises that make them think the medication has scientific evidence that shows it's more effective than it actually is. For a lot of people, if they were given accurate information, had more knowledge about FDA regulations for psych meds, or if they knew why chemical imbalance theories have been disproved, they might make different decisions about their medication use. I want mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people to be able to access meds on demand if that's what they want, be given all the information so that we can make the right choices for us, and be respected when we don't want to take medication.

I also am very angry about the way psychiatrists treat unmedicated mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people as a threat. Part of the reason I'm so antipsychiatry is because most psychiatrists seem to operate from a framework where there is no room for us as mad people to exist with our own understandings of our madness. There is so much coercion in the psychiatric system, and our mental health system focuses a lot on concepts of compliance, linear recovery, and being a "good, obedient patient." I think those values are incredibly fucked up, and it's so important to me that mad people are allowed to exist in the many complex ways we exist, without being labeled as a danger just because we aren't interested in medication. Medication is one tool, not a weapon, and I'm tired of psychiatrists weaponizing medication to force and control mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people because they're more interested in making us conform rather than adapting to our individual needs and experiences.

So long story short, medication is a option that everyone will have different experiences with, and it is not inherently bad! I'm just mad at the way psychiatry doesn't give us all the information we need to make decisions, coerces us into making the medication decisions they want, and contributes to stigma against madness that prioritizes "normalcy" over actual support. If you have any questions about specific medications feel free to send another ask and I can link you some resources to learn about the effects and science of that med!