#pfft I love this quote

[fizzfog0]

this is from @linkeduniverse-incorrect's quote!

[lifemod17]

Hello sunshine! Hope you're having a lovely timezone! How about 29 and 30 for the identity asks? 🌄

happy timezones sweet Reina!! thank you for the questions ���🥰

29: three songs that you connect with right now?

Take Aim by Sleep Token

Linger by The Cranberries

Lover by Matt Walden

she's ✨going through it✨

30: pick one of your favorite quotes

"Just show up." - Sebastien R. Teller

[yuehua8]

#vashwoodweek day 2: “the way to know life is to love many things”

I wanted to add more to this and make it like, a mini comic or something but school is literally kicking my ass so. Just a sketch 😔. I might not do all of vashwoodweek so I can make better quality paintings while not failing school lmfao

[aidaronan]

The years go by. The retail jobs that Steve thinks are temporary keep piling up, but he has no idea what else to do with his life so he just keeps on keeping on.

Until a large tree falls on the lawn of the little house he managed to buy and he gets the quote on removal and the number literally hurts his soul.

He buys a small chainsaw instead. Over the course of a few weeks, he gets most of the branches cut up. He collects some large rocks from down by the quarry and digs out a fire pit in his backyard. On his days off, his friends come over and they sit out back and have a few beers. The pile of wood dwindles. The giant trunk is another story though. His chainsaw isn't big enough for it. Burning it would take forever, and Steve's terrified he'd disappoint Smoky the Bear. He's at a loss.

Until he sees another giant trunk in someone's yard carved into a bear.

He knows what to do then. Not a bear, but something else. Through trial and error, the trunk becomes the rough shape of a woman, the remnants of the branches like a crown on her head. It's not as amazing as the bear he saw, but it's his. He finds he loves the smell of sawdust and the feeling of creating something.

Just like that, Steve realizes what he wants to do. It takes several months and a lot of yard sales, but he scrounges up the tools he needs to start woodworking. He learns to measure twice and cut once. He makes tables and chairs and carves them with art and designs that get better and better the more he learns. Shockingly, people actually buy his pieces.

Even more shocking comes the realization that he's making enough money to do it full time. He puts in his two weeks notice at Melvald's and hands in his assistant manager badge.

He's not sure he's happy, but he is content. It feels good to work hard and actually have things to show for it. It also feels good to work muscles he hasn't used since high school. He carries on for a few years like that, creating and learning and creating some more. Then Eddie Munson blows back into town. Invited back so Hawkins can have their most famous alumnus sing the national anthem at homecoming. Steve's honestly surprised he shows at all. "Can't believe you didn't tell them kiss your hairy ass," Steve says. Because of course Eddie ends up around his fire pit, sipping on Steve's cheap beer like he doesn't have three Grammy awards on his mantel. The years fall away with each drink, reminding Steve of just how much it had hurt when Eddie left. He'd wanted Eddie so bad back then, more than he'd ever wanted anyone. He can feel the echoes of that deep ache across time.

"Pfft. Don't you know all famous people wax our asses now? All the rage in LA." Eddie cuts a look at him and smirks when Steve rolls his eyes, grateful for the lighthearted moment to snap him out of his maudlin nostalgia. "Really though I thought about it, but then I thought it would be way funnier to donate a metric fuckton of money to Hawkins High with the stipulation that it go to the theater and band programs. Kind of bummed they couldn't honor my other request though."

"Which was?"

"My old Hellfire throne. I miss her, but apparently she's not around anymore. Something about water damage."

"Oh yeah. Water main busted a few years back and flooded the theater. I remember that." "Yeah. Had to settle for the promise they'd make a game lounge and stock it with all the supplies a budding young nerd needs."

"That's really nice, Eds."

Eddie shrugs. "I've been known to be nice on occasion. You'll come to homecoming, right? Moral support?"

Steve hasn't been to homecoming in years because he sees the other people who stayed in town all the time, and he has no interest in seeing the people who didn't. He can only answer the same questions so many times. Oh, I'm doing woodwork now. Yep, I still live right here. Nope, still not married, no kids.

He goes though, and he answers the uncomfortable questions. Because Eddie asked him to. Because no matter how long it's been, Steve can't deny that some part of him still...

He says goodbye after, and Eddie leaves again, and Steve tries not to think about that too much in the following days.

He's halfway into the project before he realizes what he's building. He'd seen Eddie's throne quite a few times back when. What he doesn't have memories of, he makes up. He adds his own touches too, making it a throne fit for a rock star, a nerd, a friend.

He carves ornate patterns, he creates scenes of dragons being beaten back by a man with a guitar, crowds of people that could be knights or concertgoers.

It's his favorite piece he's ever done, and his hands are shaking when he dials Eddie's number. He gets an answering machine and stumbles through a message.

"I made you something. I guess it's kind of silly, but it's here in Hawkins if you want it. Or I'm sure you can afford the shipping if you don't want to come. Just, I made you a chair. It's more of a... Well, you'll see. Unless you don't want to... It's Steve by the way." He hangs up before he can embarrass himself even more.

Eddie doesn't call him back. One day passes and then another. Steve tries not to let it get to him. He works on orders and new projects. He enjoys his little backyard oasis. He rents a few movies and thinks they're okay.

He's debarking some wood in his driveway when the rental car pulls up, Eddie stepping out in ripped jeans and an old Metallica tee. "Hi again, Stevie."

"Oh." Steve clears his throat. "The thing's in the garage. I'll..."

Eddie doesn't say anything for a long time, circling the throne, running his tattooed fingers over each little detail.

"You made this whole thing?"

"I did."

"For me?" Eddie looks at him then, one hand still touching the wood like he doesn't want to let go. Even under the harsh lights of the garage, his eyes are such a warm shade of brown that Steve forgets to breathe.

He nods. "For you."

"Why?"

There are a hundred answers Steve could give, but he spent so long not knowing who he was or who he wanted to be. Too long. "Because you'll always be the one that got away. Because some part of me will always want to make you smile no matter how long it's been."

Eddie falls into the throne like he just got the wind knocked out of him.

"You don't have to respond to that," Steve says. "You can just say thank you and take the chair."

"I can." Eddie blows out a breath. "But that would be incredibly stupid considering half my early ballads are about you."

"What?" Unfair. Steve doesn't have a chair to fall into.

"Oh sure, I changed the hes to shes for a while there because..." Eddie waves his hand. "But they're about you, Steve. God, I should've asked you out. I just thought..."

Hearing those words is a lot like seeing that carved bear all over again, something clicking into place that wasn't quite right before.

"Go out with me now then," Steve says. "Or stay in. I've got a frozen lasagna and I rented Contact."

"Steve Harrington? Asking Eddie 'the Freak' Munson on a date? Did hell freeze over?"

"Pfft." Steve takes a step closer toward what he wants most. "Hell froze over in 1986, Eddie. You were there."

Five months and a lot of long distance phone bills later, Steve opens Harrington Woodworking in Los Angeles. That same day, Eddie takes photos for Rolling Stone posing in an ornate throne in his living room. He tells the reporter exactly who made it and what he means. At concerts, he starts singing those ballads the way he always wanted to. More often than not, Steve stands in the wings singing along.

[valwrote]

Running fingers through their hair 🤍

ft. wriothesley, alhaitham and neuvillette.

synopsis : you convince them into playing with their hair and you end up taking undue advantage of it.

warnings : implied fem!reader, pet names, mention of murder and suicide (neuvillette – no there is no angst here.).

a/n : fluff but seriously hair is so floof in genshin and i love me some domesticated content.

ALHAITHAM 🌱

"No." He crossed his arms in disapproval at your request.

"Haitham! Come on!" You begged your husband to let you run your fingers through his hair in hopes to help him unwind and relax but he was adamant not letting you.

"I am sorry [Name], but I have a meeting due in an hour with the Dendro Archon about some administrative changes and as much as I would love to catch a break, I can't as of now." He exasperated, voice laced with annoyance.

Ever since becoming the Acting Grand Sage, Alhaitham had gotten just a tad bit more whinier. You weren't complaining since Alhaitham had the emotional quotient of a rock.

"Oh come on! It's still an hour away. C'mere." You patted your lap. He sighed but agreed. You found yourself combing your nifty fingers through his grey locks. They felt soft to touch. Who are you kidding, he was a well groomed gentleman despite his emotionally constipated personality.

His eyes were focused on a book he was reading, his eyes scanning the pages but his expression was relaxed. He won't admit it but he liked it. This was a simple yet intimate gesture.

You on the other hand, stared outside of the window, fingers still running through his hair. The scenery of Sumeru city stretched out far and wide for your eyes to see. The sky was beaming with light, birds were chit chatting on the tree branches and–

Snore.

Your focus gets redirected back at Alhaitham who now had the book resting on his face, his chest rising rhythmically as you heard him breathing softly.

You chuckled at the sight. He really did fall asleep. He looked so carefree when a moment ago he was complaining about meetings and work. How amusing. An idea bubbled up in your head.

When Alhaitham woke up, he realised that he had fallen asleep and hurried out of the room to meet up with Nahida in the Sanctuary of Surasthana.

"Good evening Acting Grand Sage, I was just waiting on you- pfft!" Nahida's cheeks puffed up and the little Archon started giggling.

"I am sorry for being late- wait, why are you laughing?" He tilted his expression in confusion. Could his late timing be a matter of amusement for his Archon?

"Who made two tiny ponytails in your hair using sparkly pink pyro slime hairties!" Nahida chuckled more, unable to hold her laughter.

"..." he reached up to feel the two tiny fountains of hair made by tying them up. Who could've done such a— you.

Needles to say, Alhaitham image of a big mighty serious guy in front of Nahida had now been ruined.

NEUVILLETTE 🌊

"Ma Chérie, what do you think of this case?" Neuvillette leaned back into his chair, papers spread out on his table. You picked up one of the documents and examined them.

What made you and Neuvillette a match made in heaven was that you were one of Fontaine's best lawyers and Neuvillette was the Ludex. You both would brainstorm cases together though Neuvillette always tended to quote how he is unbiased as it is his duty as the Chief Justice to not let personal feelings get in the way.

Still, you catch him staring at you during court proceedings, expression twisting and turning based on the situation out of his instinctive concern for you.

"Well, I think this is a classic murder which is being displayed to the common eye like a suicide." You sighed and put the paper back on the table, stretching your back from fatigue.

"I must say, that's quite a possibility. I'd suggest you investigate futher and seek the truth." He pondered, his gloved hand resting on his chin.

"Neuvi, can we take a break? I am tired." You slumped down in the chair across him, exhausting from the repetitive task at hand.

"Indeed. Repetition tends to tire out the mortal brain. Let's continue this after lunch." He nodded and started to sort the papers according to there designated folders.

"Can I play with your hair till you get the sorting papers thing done?" You asked him and he seemed amused at the idea. Neuvillette was never reluctant from trying out new things and gave into your small pleasures if they made you happy. "Sure."

You ran your fingers through his white locks. Honestly his hair were so beautiful, it would put women's hair to shame. Neuvillette took good care of them. You started using this opportunity to experiment different hairstyles on him.

Neuvillette glanced up, only to see his hair in a braid from his reflection in the mirror with a black ribbon in them. He stared at the braid for a good minute, "Hmm simple, practical and elegant. It's quite nice." He mused.

You were proud of yourself before Neuvillette asked if he could try hairstyles on you.

An afternoon spent with chuckles, smiles, whacky and pretty hairstyles.

WRIOTHESLEY 🧊

You watched as Wriothesley worked like a machine.

Step 1 : Grab the paperwork

Step 2 : Read and Sign it

Step 3 : Put in the "done" pile

The sounds of paper swiping and pen scribbling filled the room. You tried to entertain yourself with some novel but you could hear wriothesley grunted and groaning in annoyance.

"Y'know, the best thing is to simply not to do the work if you don't feel like it, wrio." You suggested, flipping to the next page in the novel.

"You're right. I'll settle for a nap, drink tea after I get up and then continue doing this..." he grumbled before getting up and making his way to his bed upstairs. You afte a few minutes got up and followed him.

You both laid beside eachother, under the blankets, soaking in eachother's warmth. "You joinin' me on a nap, sweetheart?" A smile crawled onto his face as he looked at you with his icy hues.

"No, I am simply here to take care of you, silly." You kissed his nose as he took your palm firmly in his and kissed the back of it, endearingly. You peppered his face with feather kisses, tousling his soft black locks earning a relaxed hum of content from him.

Wriothesley was a man of limited needs and such small moments with you were his saving grace from the buttload of prison paper work. His arm snaked around your waist as he kissed the top of your forehead before his hand rested on your cheeks, his eyes fluttering shut.

He yawned and made himself comfortable before drifting off into his well deserved nap.

But..

"Oh my god, you are associated with Sigewinne in this??" He baffled at the sight of his face covered in stickers. Melusines loved to play pranks but his own lover? Now that was some serious betrayal.

"First my back and now my face?" He stared at you, jaw dropped, wanting an explanation. You simply stifled a laugh before hearing a click.

"Sigewinne, did you just take a picture of me?? HEY! Don't run away!? [Name]! Sigewinne! You guys better delete that picture!" He chased after you two as you ran with Sigewinne in your arms. It was a moment of solace and perhaps another moment added in your archive of memories.

a/n : to say i am obsessed with domesticated genres and tropes is an understatement.

don't steal, copy, plagarize.

©definitelysel

not proof read.

[seattlesellie]

ellie x plushies obsessed reader hq’s

or

ellie beefing with plushies for 40 minutes straight

or

ellie fucks u with a plushie <3

♡ first of all, dont get it wrong. ellie buys you the actual plushies she has this ongoing beef with. she straight up walks around town, probably dealing or some shit, and then she just sees a plushie that is so you from the window of a kids store, and she staright up runs to get it. jesses all like “where the f-….” and one second later, he sees her standing in line, holding a pink squishmallow ready to pull out her credit card. “sorry” she mouthes to him. “for my girl”

♡ as much as ellie loves to see your face light up when she comes home with a limited edition sanrio plushie, she loves trolling you even more. shed literally see a demonic looking plushie and get it for you, only to see how upset you get over it. shit makes her laugh so hard. shes all giggling like “wh- babe its pretty!! look at its eyes its like he sees through you- s’romantic actually”, she speaks, trying to hold her laughter. youre standing there, simply baffled, just staring at her. “ellie. that is a spongebob plushie and it looks deranged- and why is he missing a shoe?!” you question. she just huffs and says “i dont know” with a guilty look on her face. when you deadpan her she just says “i wanted to see what its feet look like” ¿¿¿ you shove her and she gets all offended and says “pfft… you dont get it” you tell her that monstrosity is not welcomed in your home and she ends up. sleeping with it. every night. ellie sleeps with a spongebob plushie (i hc ellie as being a spongebob lover btw i know shed be quoting him like hes kafka)

♡ one night, you walk to your room, the door is like half closed and you just keep hearing sounds of huffing and muffled breaths. you take a peak, and you literally see ellie flipping off and mouthing “fuck you” to all of your little plushies. youre standing there with this shocked expression, baffled to see your girlfriend pretending to punch the plushies and whispering at them to fuck off. you walk in, and ellie turns to look at you and she looks so guilty, like joel just caught her eating cookies at 3am. “ellie. what are you doing?” you question. she huffs, rolls her her eyes, “they were looking at me weird”

♡ youre naked together, cuddled up after getting your pussy destroyed, and ellie takes out two plushies from behind her. “this is you” she points at the pink ribboned plushie, “and this is me” she points at the black squishmallow. she takes both of them in her hands, bumps them together, and begins demonstrating her wonderful show. the black squishmallow is humping the pink one from the back. ellie pants heavily. “els.” you say, warning her. she gives you a sly look. “mmmhm ellie” she moans. “fuckkk ellie- so so good” youre so shocked, you cover your eyes under the blanket before you even think to grab them off her hands. “taking it so good” she says with a darth-vader like voice. “fuck me harder please” she mocks in a high pitched voice and starts moaning like a porn star. your cheeks are so hot you cant even move. “gonna cum- ellie lemme cum” shes screaming now, youre pretty sure your neighbors can hear. you start kicking her beneath the blanket, and that only makes it worse “ellieeeeee get me pregnant” she yells and moans louder and louder. youre basically assaulting her legs now, pushing her away, which leads her to finish her wonderful spectacle with a “best ive ever had ellie. best ive ever had” youre screaming and yelling at her for sexually harassing your dolls and shes laughing like a maniac, literal tears fall from her eyes. “ooooh-“ she wipes a tear. “that was so fucking funny” she speaks, holding her stomach wheezing. “not funny” you deadpan. “too funny. ahh- shouldve been a comedian” she says. she shouldnt.

♡ shes buried deep inside, your leg resting on her shoulder, tears falling from your eyes from how good, how intensely shes fucking you. a white creamy circle starts forming on her strap. “you crying?” she teases, squeezing your cheeks together forcefully. “mhm-mhm ellie” you whine, cunt flooded with pleasure, and pain, because its so big, and shes so fast. “cry some more” she commands, panting over you. “taking me so so good… my good girl” she coos, lost in the feeling of the harness bumping her clit, and her girl coming undone beneath her. “cant take it… too much!” you plead. shes circling your clit, so slow, just to torture you some more. her hand stops squeezing your tit, and theres a little surprise shes holding on to. “take it” she commands, and places the plushie on your chest, staring directly into your eyes. “hug it for me. gonna make it easier, fuck” she rambles, feeling her own orgasm coming closer and closer. “el- so- so” you cry out, mumbling incoherently and squeezing the doll so tight its eyes almost pop. “jesus christ- cute, so fucking- cute” she pants. her breathing gets heavier and heavier and shes pushing the strap inside even deeper, squeezing out your arousal. “god damn” she growls.

[skylarsblue]

✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦

Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman! Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?! Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch! --

Someone: Hey Johnny. Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can- Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you. Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?! Soap: Pfft, maybe! Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3

-- American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one. The entire team: … American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth* Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?! Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*

-- Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?! Laswell: It’s the best option we have. Ghost: I disagree with this. Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think. Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’. Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.

-- Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :((( Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.

-- (In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)

Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure. Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure? Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands. Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal. Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…

-- Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T! Ghost: …would you like to? Soap: Eh-…huh? Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean… Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me. Simon: …I’d let you. Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si. Simon: I’ll do my best.

-- Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers. Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh* Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*

-- Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since. (Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder) Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-

(This also works with Soap & Ghost)

-- Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana- Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵 Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*

-- Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨ Soap: Si, no-

-- Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me? Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext. Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over* Y/N: ….that felt good. Ghost: I’m so proud- Price: Stop encouraging them.

-- Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight! (Insert running scene) Price: Soldier, what hap- Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win? Y/N: Of course I won. Ghost: Nice. Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-

-- Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh* Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses! Soap: *WHEEZE*

-- Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~ König: Hallo, guten morgen. Y/N: *smiles and keeps going* König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*

-- Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-

-- Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes. Price, minding his business: ? Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls* Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????

-- (I think bullying Graves is funny)

Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work- Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit. Graves: Listen!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Listen to me!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Shut up, listen to me! Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man. Graves: Listen!! Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord- Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick. Graves: Listen to me, now! Y/N: Go fuck yourself.

-- Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general. Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*

-- Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh? Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha… Simon: …uh…is this- Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir. Simon: Good, good.

-- Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this. Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this! *insert banging on door* Price: Who is that? Y/N: I think you know.

-- Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves. Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.

-- Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off. Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price. Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.

-- Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost? Soap: Mhm…thoughts? Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.

-- Gaz: Are you straight? Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.

-- (Some type of escort mission or somethin’)

Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail. Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met. Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.

(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)

-- König: How does that even make any- *knife sound* König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!

-- (I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)

Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight. Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand! Alejandro, in love: …

[victorianbatman]

More ATLA/LOK Incorrect quotes

GN reader, unless stated otherwise

Bolin, propping his feet on the table: So, I heard you like bad boys?

Y/n: What? No.

Bolin, taking his feet off the table: Oh thank God, that felt terrible.

-

Lin: Whats this?

Y/n, hugging her: Affection.

Lin: Disgusting.

Lin:…

Lin: Do it again.

-

Bolin: Wow, your legs look amazing in those pants!

Y/n: You should see me without them.

Bolin: Without.. legs?

-

Sokka: What did you make for Y/n?

Zuko, staring at the burnt food: Regret.

-

Korra, holding kettle: Coffee or tea?

Y/n: Tea.

Korra: Wrong! Its coffee.

-

Bolin, talking about y/n: My crush isn’t picking up on any of my hints.

Mako: What hints have you given them?

Bolin: I think about them.. a lot.

Bolin: And sometimes I think about talking to them.

-

Y/n: Mako?

Mako: What?

Y/n: Are you asleep?

Mako: Who the fuck did you think said ‘what’?

-

Y/n, waking up: Am I dead?

[Sees Asami next to them]

Y/n: Is this heaven?

Korra, bangs on door: Open up, fuckers its me Korra

Y/n, tearing up: I always knew I’d end up in hell.

-

Lin: Having trouble figuring out who knows Korra the best?

Asami: Its me!

Bolin: Its me!

Mako: Its me!

Y/n:..

Y/n: It’s probably not me.

-

Y/n: Time for plan G.

Mako: Wait- don’t you mean plan B?

Y/n: No we did plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over C because of some technical difficulties.

Asami: What about plan D?

Y/n: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Bolin: And plan E?

Y/n: Im hoping not to use it, I die in plan E.

Korra: I like plan E.

-

Y/n: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them?

Mako: Well, what do you do?

Y/n: I die? Pfft- What kinda question..

-

Y/n: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and it died.

Y/n: Then I started thinking. It was just trying to get food.

Y/n: Like, what if I went to the fridge to get something to eat and it slammed the door on me and broke my neck?

Y/n: Howw would I feel?

Mako: Are you ok?

-

Bolin: What does ‘take out’ mean?

Mako: Food.

Asami: Dating.

Korra: Murder.

Y/n: IT COULD MEAN ALL THREE IF YOURE NOT A FUCKING COWARD!

-

Korra: You’re a little obsessed with yourself aren’t you?

Y/n: Well if im not who else is gonna be?

-

[Y/n, throws bread at turtleducks]

Y/n: Do not forget this act of altruism. If I am ever in trouble, I expect you and your brethren to come to my aid. Do not forget.

-

Y/n: You’re the love of my life, I’d do anything for you.

Asami: I want you to take care of yourself and get enough sleep.

Y/n: Absolutely not.

-

Asami: My boyfriend is too tall to kiss, what should I do?

Korra: Punch him in the gut, then when he leans down kiss him.

Bolin: Tackle him

Y/n: Dump him, be with me.

Lin, passing by: Kick him in the shin.

Mako: Please don’t do any of those.

-

[Korra, sneaks into house at 2 am]

Mako, turns in swivel chair: Care to explain where you were?

Korra: Uhh.. I was out with Y/n.

Y/n, also turns around in another swivel chair: Care to- [chair wont stop turning] Mako- I cant stop the chair-

-

Bolin, after making Y/n mad: You wont hit me, I have witnesses.

Y/n: Mako. Asami. Turn around.

[Both Mako and Asmai turn around]

Bolin, scared: M-Mako? Asami?

-

Y/n: So whats Zukos type?

Sokka: Y/c eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humour, turtleduck lover.

Y/n: Damn, sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends though.

Sokka: Did I mention oblivious?

Y/n: Yeah why?

Sokka: Just making sure.

[lurochar]

Masterlist

What I Will Not Write For

Hazbin Hotel - Alastor x Reader

By The Full Moon smut

The Radio Demon finds a spell to go back in time to reacquaint himself with his wife. His past human self is more than willing to help.

Little Abomination

That... thing was separate yet still a part of him. It was how Alastor even became aware of your existence to begin with. You were his. You just didn't know it yet.

Well-Fed

It isn't wise to harass Alastor's assistant. A man learns this the hard way.

The Shadow will Play smut

In which Alastor’s shadow "plays" with you and you find out something very interesting about your lover.

The Buck Stops Here smut

His shadow must be punished. You find out Alastor did not put his shadow up to your little play date.

The Domino Effect (Pt. 1) smut

Alastor's shadow has been banned from seeing you for a week. The fallout thus begins.

A Daily Stroll

Headcanons based on the Alastor comic.

Racy Reverie smut (On Indefinite Hiatus)

Your talks with Angel Dust about his job leads to a bit of fantasizing about Alastor despite his disinterest in the topic. Or is he?

Incorrect Quotes

His Baker

Headcanons about Human!Alastor and Baker!Reader.

Creepy Deer

Relief in Falsehoods

Vox is stressed when the Radio Demon and his companion come back from their seven year absence. Val just may know how to relieve said stress.

(Background Alastor x Reader, One-Sided Vox x Reader, One-sided Vox x Alastor)

Fast Food

Rut Stuff

His rut wasn’t a problem until you showed up. Five little things Alastor does during his rut.

More Rut Stuff

Five more things Alastor does during his rut.

More, More Rut Stuff

Even more things Alastor does during his rut.

First Rut, With You

A short drabble based on the headcanons of Rut Stuff.

Rut Kink smut

Heat Season

Headcanons of your heat season.

A Snow Day in Hell

Based on the 'Special Feeling' meme.

A Total Nightmare

You thought you and Alastor had a cordial relationship. You were so very wrong.

Yandere!Alastor in Rut

Yandere!Alastor x Reader Who Refuses To Speak

Pull You Down

You were Heaven-bound, but Alastor will happily drag you to Hell himself.

Pull You Down Kinks smut

Microphone Cane Thing

Headcanons about Alastor's microphone cane? :D

To Give Comfort smut

After his mother dies, Alastor turns to you for comfort.

The Morning After

Just what will the morning bring after your comfort night with Alastor?

Soulmates? Pfft, Please Part 2

Headcanons about rejecting your soulmate for Alastor.

(Alastor x Reader, One-sided Vox x Reader)

Quirks and Habits

Little things between you and Alastor and how they translate between human and demon life.

Adrenaline Rush smut

Alastor adores you, he really does. It just took a little murder on the side to really get his desire out of control.

Before It All Part 2 Part 3

Alastor's affiliation with deer goes back much further than his death.

Before It All - Human Alastor

Headcanons of an alternate ending to Before It All where Alastor kidnaps you instead.

Brat smut

Human Alastor with bratty Reader.

The Blues

A quick drabble on Alastor's way of helping you through a depressive phase.

Knot Me Knot Me (Aftermath) smut

Quick Alastor in rut with knot drabble.

I Still Love You smut

Where Alastor gets divorced after the reader finds out about his murders, but still can't stop coming back to him.

Tug and Rip

Snippet on how Alastor treats you depending on what kind of animal demon you are.

Love Potioned

Alastor has been affected by a love potion. Or has he?

Love Potioned (Reversed) Love Potioned (Reversed) Smut HCs smut

You have been affected by a love potion. But is it really an accident?

Codependency Part 2

DARK headcanons if you were Alastor's half younger sister. TW: Incest

Bad Habit

Alastor has a habit of pulling his hair out as a stress reliever when slaughter isn't enough. You would like to put an end to that.

Of Demon's & Shapes

Headcanons if Bill Cipher was a guest at the Hazbin Hotel. Alastor isn't particularly happy when the triangle takes an interest in you.

Features Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls.

Daisies

Scent Scent (Behind the Scenes)

Scarf

What are his Darling and Charlie doing in secret? That's what Alastor would like to know.

Conditions

There are conditions to petting Alastor’s ears. They always must be met.

[domreader-headcannon-scenarios]

Based on all the whb kings dick size Levi is the smallest (he's 18cm which is still pretty big compared to human men but still smaller than the other kings)

so I was wondering if you could do a fic where MC teases him about it, like compares him to the other kings (you know really get his jealousy going) but he kinda likes it but acts like he doesn't and proves to MC that size doesn't matter *wink wink 😉 *

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE how MUCH I LOVE THIS!!! Why is my new think cucking and teasing/torturing Leviathan??! (I mean he was the first card I got?)

Ok so like there’s a really funny quote that came to mind that I need to use for this but wanna share first!

So there’s SO MUCH POTENTIAL HERE!! Like he 100% doesn’t know he’s big to humans, so it’s a jab at his pride with every remark on his size bc the other kings 100% made fun of him of his ‘tiny’ cock.

(So for those who live where I do, 18cms is 7.087 inches…he’s 7 inches but 100% would make you state the exact size saying 7 inches is a ‘underestimation’)

And bc he’s so self conscious? When you were staring surprised at his size, he took it as he was ‘too small’ for you. He’d throw a fit…

(Idk when I toook this image but he’s so cute to me???)

-

Cw: slight cucking, lots of teasing, technically polycule, SDH

You couldn’t help it, Levithan was so easy to get worked up, he threw a tantrum when he realized you didn’t lose your virginity with him (despite him KNOWING you’ve needed devil energy…), and after being with Satan AND Mammon, he knows he can’t compare!

But here you were, chatting with him like you were gossiping with Paimon, while Levithan is sat in front of you, naked from the waste down, he was trying to tone out insulting remarks about his size.

“Seriously, what am I supposed to with this? After getting some prime meat from Mammon how am I supposed to use this? At least Satan is big enough to get half way in…” You say laughing a bit. It was so stupid, but Leviathan was fuming.

“Q-quit yapping, Decedent of Solomon! I’m plenty big-“ He squeals as you roughly grab his cock, squeezing it with your fingers wrapped around it, you keep squeezing until your finger touched. It was a stretch but Levithan look mortified.

“Pfft! The tiny human can wrap one hand around your cock!” You force out a laugh, but you know he can’t tell the difference. He doesn’t know your fingers are barely touching…

“No!N-no! I-it’s because I-I’m not fully aroused!” He blurts out. You can almost feel him scrambling to figure out what to say. He clears his throat as if that’s why he was stuttering. “I’m not at full mass, that’s why. It gets bigger…”

You can hear him trail off as if realizing he can’t just lie that it’ll get bigger…when he’s already dripping pre, it’s throbbing in your painful grip. You stifle your laugh.

“I’m sure it does…do you know how big Lucifer is? You looks like you got a clit in comparison!” You chuckle, you flash a toothy grin as he hisses in frustration. His cock tip is an angry red, almost matching his face! “So Levi let me ask…” You flash him toothy grin that makes him know your gonna say something…that will definitely wound his pride.

“How does it feel to know that out of all your friends, you have the smallest dick?”

Levithan’s eyes widen, he looks like you just slapped him, he even audible gasp! You almost worry you went to far but he whimper/shouts out. “T-then it’s a good thing I don’t have any friends!” He says as if that’s a better solution, he’s so worked up he’s shaking, his cock bouncing aggressively in your hand.

You laugh at that, you couldn’t hold it back, you could see shock on his face at your response, he blushes a deep red and whimpers. Finally release his cock, he loudly gasp at the sudden release of pressure, he’s so close….

“I-it doesn’t need to be big! I can show you…” Leviathan complains and quickly helps you remove your pants, using your undergarments as the only protection as he grinds against you. He keeps grinding against you, his ‘tiny’ cock rubbing against you like a personal massager.

You moaned teasingly, it felt great. “Ooh! You know how to rub it against things, that’s great, here, let me show how to use that thing…”

You pushed him down and grind against his cock, grinding down on it, it gave you little pleasure while he was clearly sensitive…

You can’t not keep teasing him! He’s clearly enjoying it with the way he’s leaking pre…

“I wonder if your subordinates are bigger than you…do you have the smallest dick in hell? You’re taker than Satan, shouldn’t your dick be bigger? Or at least less sensitive?” You tease, moving your underwear enough for his dick to tease your entrance. He loudly whines at the sight of your naked skin…

“It’s not sensitive. Humans just…don’t understand…” Leviathan trails off before looking away. “Humans are fickle things…demons enjoy the sentiment more than feeling…”

You can hear his constant pauses in his speech, he’s trying to come up with an excuse without admitting he’s…sensitive. You reach down and tease his cock head, earning a moan. “Shouldn’t humans be more sensitive then? But here we are, a demon trembling while a human grinds on his dick…what are you going to do if I tell you it’s too tiny for me to use?”

Leviathan looks like you just kicked him, he glares at you. He angles his hips, then the next slide back you feel his cock slip into you, granted your ready for it, but once sheathed into you, he seems to realize the situation. He can’t move under you, now you were just sitting in his dick…squeezing it…and he can’t do anything!

Leviathan growls. “Do something already! It’s plenty big enough for a tiny human like you! I-I can easily please any demon, now let me move…” He starts to groan and loudly complains. Out of mercy you lift your hips only enough to let him thrust into you.

As much as Leviathan wants to go fast, the angle isn’t exactly easy for him to thrust into you, he tries to voice something to you but it dies in his throat and he stops thrusting into you. He whimpers, a deep blush across his face.

“What’s wrong? Can’t even last as long as the other Kings?”

Leviathan hisses in complaint and lowers his gaze. “I don’t…know.Its…”

He whimpers and begins squirming under you, you feel him throbbing inside you…

He can take some more teasing.

-

[shuutingstar]

look who’s bored again. me, i am. have some pjo side character incorrect quotes because i love them so much.

~

Paolo: what does “Take Out” mean?

Connor: Food.

Valentina: Dating.

Laurel and Holly: Murder.

Sherman: all three if you’re not a coward!

Connor: Me and Malcolm were playing Scrabble and it was a nightmare.

Juniper: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Connor: Not when you’re playing with Malcolm. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

Mitchell: you’re petty.

Drew: you mispronounced ‘pretty’ but okay.

Ellis: crushes are the worst!

Cecil: yeah, whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Ellis: pfft you’re always stupid.

Cecil: yeahhh, don’t think about that too hard.

Ellis:

Travis: if we put Luke, Thalia and Annabeth in a room, who do you think would come out crying first?

Connor: the room.

Jake: did you hear? Luke was almost hit by an arrow in training today!

Michael: I know. He was faster than I thought.

Jake:

Michael: don’t worry, I’ll get him next time.

Malcolm: gods, this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done!

Drew: aren’t you dating Connor?

Connor: that was uncalled for!

Mitchell: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Clovis: Explain.

Mitchell: eat a lot, sleep, wake up beautiful.

Clovis: you do know you would have a lifespan of about a week?

Mitchell: another highlight.

Katie: did you know cereal is basically cold breakfast soup?

Connor: *drops cereal bowl*

Travis: STOP SCARING THE KIDS KATIE!

Laurel: the risk I took was carefully calculated.

Billie and Damien: WE ALMOST DIED!

Laurel: I never said I was good at maths.

[othernicknameisgaslighter]

Cobra Kai Incorrect Quotes pt. 1

1. miguel: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives. y/n: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train. miguel: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

2. hawk: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. y/n: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* hawk: That one. I want that one.

3. tory: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? y/n: AS ENEMIES?! tory:

4. y/n: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness— sam: Hi. y/n: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

5. y/n: Hey, about that love letter you sent me- robby: *blushes* What are your thoughts? y/n: The fourth sentence- robby: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I- y/n: It’s “you’re” not “your”.

6. tory, rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset! y/n: tory, honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. sam, would you get tory some water? sam: What are they gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?

7. sam: Everyone thinks you suck. y/n: I think you have the wrong number… sam: tory? y/n: Nope. y/n. sam: Well, you probably suck too…

8. y/n: What did robby do this time? miguel: More like WHO did robby do this time?

9. robby: Who would you kill out of the four of us, hawk? hawk: you, easily. miguel, laughing: What the fuck, man. hawk: Well, y/n would be too easy. They’d probably be into it. y/n, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

10. hawk: If you water water, it grows. tory: ...What. y/n: He's got a point.

12. tory: Ooh, somebody has a crush y/n: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on miguel I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him. *Later that night* y/n, very much awake: Uh oh.

13. miguel: But what about sam? She was my SOULMATE! y/n: You said that about a ball of yarn once!

[jar-of-maise]

incorrect quotes with my new fav trio

starring wriothesley, clorinde and neuvillette bc i said so

Wriothesley: What do you think Neuvillette will do for a distraction? Clorinde: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Clorinde: ... or he could do that.

...

Wriothesley: How's the sexiest person here~? Neuvillette: I don't know, how are they~? Wriothesley: I- Clorinde, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

...

Clorinde: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Wriothesley? Wriothesley: … No. Neuvillette: I do! Clorinde: I know, Neuvillette. Neuvillette: I’m sad! Wriothesley: We know, Neuvillette

...

Neuvillette, to Wriothesley and Clorinde: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?! Wriothesley: ... Clorinde: ... Wriothesley: That is such an open-ended question. Clorinde: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

...

Wriothesley: We need a diversion. I say Neuvillette gets naked. Neuvillette: No. Clorinde: Who are we trying to distract again?

...

Clorinde, at Neuvillette: Would you like to stay for dinner? Wriothesley, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

...

Clorinde: Ooh, somebody has a crush Wriothesley: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Neuvillette I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. *Later that night* Wriothesley, very much awake: Uh oh.

...

Neuvillette: There's no way they like me back. Clorinde: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for you. Neuvillette: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

...

Neuvillette: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Clorinde: Clorinde: I'm gonna tell them. Wriothesley: Don't you dare.

...

Wriothesley: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Clorinde: What’s up your ass this morning! Neuvillette: *walks in* ...Hey. Clorinde: Hmm… nevermind. Wriothesley: WAIT NO!

...

Wriothesley: Do you cook? Neuvillette: I made a cake once. Clorinde: Yeah, it was good. Neuvillette: Really? Clorinde: Don’t make me lie twice, Neuvillette.

...

Neuvillette: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Clorinde: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Wriothesley: Ya know... it might be.

...

Clorinde: Did Wriothesley just tell me he loved me for the first time? Neuvillette: Yeah, he did. Clorinde: And did I just do finger guns back? Neuvillette: Yeah, you did.

...

Wriothesley: Where are my fucking keys? Clorinde: Wriothesley, Neuvillette is around, can you say it a little nicer? Wriothesley: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

...

*Neuvillette dies in a game with ships* Wriothesley: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Wriothesley: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Clorinde: Legend has it that Neuvillette still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Neuvillette: Of course I do.

...

Wriothesley: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Neuvillette: Excuse me [insert name]. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you? Clorinde: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

...

Clorinde: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Wriothesley! Neuvillette: So Wriothesley knows about this? Clorinde, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

...

Neuvillette: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Wriothesley: Like its slips on and off really easily. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: No, I didn't mean it like that- Clorinde: We know what you meant.

...

Clorinde: What have you done with Neuvillette? Wriothesley: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

...

Neuvillette, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Wriothesley: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Wriothesley: Here you go. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: Clorinde: Why am I here?

...

Wriothesley: I’m this close to falling in love with Neuvillette. Clorinde: Your fingertips are touching. Wriothesley: Exactly.

...

Neuvillette: Would you take a bullet for me? Wriothesley: ...yes? *Clorinde angrily burst into the room* Neuvillette: *running away* Great, thanks!

guys i love them a healthy amount i swear. NOW DIE ON THIS HILL WITH ME

PART II is now up!

[luxthestrange]

Incorrect quotes#930 SE TE BORRO LA SONRISA-

You guys ever think of that Little Girl Mammon saved and is in a horribly abusive relationship with some witches...and how it would be WAY better if Mammon just finally adopted her...Now Mammon has realized...how hard it is to have a daughter-

Mam*Glued to the window, Seeing His little girl running out of the house of lamentation to...her new friend who is a boy....who came to pick her up in a bike that looks like a motorcycle*...Alright, I'm not liking that...

Mc*Beside him rubbing his back*P-pfft~

Mam*Squinting eyes and frowns*...Im really not liking that SHIT-he coming to pick her up motorcycle?...Treasure I'm not-*Sees his little princess gets behind her friend on his bike and slams his forehead on the window*...FUCK MY LIFE-

Mc*Having a giggle fit and tenderly giving him head pats also seeing her ride off*-She's GOOONE~

Mam*Whimpers as he sees her off*....*Grabs his phone and calls someone*...Code Red,I repeat code red-

Mc:..Honey, who are you cal-

Luke*Who crashed into the floor as he opened the door entrance, his wings out*...Where that assbutt who is with my baby sister-

Should there be more of Papa Mammon and his little human daughter?... Also, what should her name be?... Should it be a name starting with M?

Mam: Let's name her Goldie Junior-

Lux:...Mammon I love you but shut up for now please~

[pqdfootsmoon]

incorrect marauders quotes (pt.2)

Evan: A SPIDEEER!!!!!!  Regulus: KILL IT! SMASH IT!  Dorcas: BURN IT!  Barty: STAB IT! WITH A KNIFE! GET ME THE SHOTGUN!  Pandora: Awww, it’s so cute! Look at it! James: Marlene always accuses me of having a favorite but that’s not true.  James: I love Sirius and all the not-Sirius's equally.

Sirius: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.  Remus: Those are wanted posters.

James: Just wondering, did you get any sleep?  Regulus: Did I get any... leap?  James: What...?

Sirius: Regulus, I’m afraid.  Regulus: Just stay close to Barty.  Sirius: That's why I’m afraid.

Evan, pointing to Sirius and Regulus: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves*  Barty: Okay!  *five minutes later*  Evan: *returns and sees Sirius and Regulus unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!  Barty: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

Regulus: *sucking on a popsicle*  Evan: Pfft, you practicing for when James gets here?  Regulus: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*  Evan: *Concern*

Remus, to Peter: If Sirius doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next paycheck.  Sirius, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Barty: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start!  Barty: I’ve killed a man, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee.  James, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.

James: Why is there blood everywhere?  Regulus: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.  James: You stabbed someone?!  Regulus: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

[poppitron360]

The Lost Trio Incorrect Quotes:

RANDOM INCORRECT QUOTES GENERATOR

Jason: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥

Piper: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Jason: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Leo I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Jason, very much awake: Uh oh.

⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥

Leo: Did Jason just tell me he loved me for the first time?

Piper: Yeah, he did.

Leo: And did I just do finger guns back?

Piper: Yeah, you did.

⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥

Piper: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?

Leo: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*

Piper: Aww, it's a love note for Jason?

Leo: No-

Piper: *opens it*

Piper:

Leo:

Piper: I can't read this.

⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥

Leo: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Jason: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Jason: Would you like me to tutor you?

Piper: That was smooth.

⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥

Jason: Calypso doesn’t deserve you.

Jason: If she don't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Leo: I'm gone.

Jason: Now go chop her dick off!

⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥 - ⚡️- 💕 - 🔥

Leo: We need a diversion. I say Jason gets naked.

Piper: No.

Leo: I could get naked.

The seven: NO!!!

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Leo: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Piper: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Jason: Ya know... it might be.

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Jason: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Leo: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Piper: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

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*at the start of TLH*

Leo: Piper isn’t answering my messages.

Jason: Allow me.

Leo: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Piper: *replying to message* Hello.

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Piper: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!

Jason: Alright.

Leo: Hey, I-

Piper: SHUT UP!

Leo: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!

Jason: It was bound to be stupid.

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Jason: When I was a kid, Piper told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.

Leo: They are!

Jason: FOR REAL?

Leo: No! Why did you fall for it again?

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Piper: Well, has Leo been wrong before?

Jason: How wide are we willing to open this up?