#personal stuff or thoughts

[a-scummy-hybrid]

Some... self-reflection i guess (2023)

its funny to think about how far i've come when it comes to art this year? I mean… i did doodle art beforehand but i feel like most of it ranged from "ehhh…" to "this feels like a fluke"

Then with this year, i got my self a drawing tablet and pretty much started to properly grow in April, of course, with the help of someone that is near-and-dear to me in my heart.

Started with doodling some sketches for Fredrik Knudsen, then... sorta started my try at doodling my own arts, then like... I feel like i suddenly evolved.

Hell, even then, there are times i look at the art i draw for others or for myself and I just sorta go "Holy fuck... did I draw this? It looks fucking insane."

Its just... something, iunno, i love it. I love art, I love to look at something and then begin to imagine scenarios or possible doodle layouts to the best of my abilities. A passion inside of my mind sorta sparks, like a brainworm being awakened and taking hold of my thought process, YEARNING for me to unleash the idea upon an empty CSP canvas.

But the real enjoyment, is when I share said drawing with someone or to the person i wanted to doodle it for and they go "Oh my god... this is incredible!" Or even when i share it with my close one, they just become astonished and are proud of me... it really lights up a dark spot in my day.

Sorry for the sappy bullshit or whatever, just been... thinking about it anytime i just stare at my art. It's really a "Wow... I've come so far so quickly haven't I?"

If I had to thank some people, it'd definitely be @starry-feathers for existing and helping me with my art, teaching me things and the like, and being there all the time <3, and also MorninChai, who mentioned an idea about "drawing like shit on purpose and then sorta going from there" which is what i had done when it came to my first few art pages, and it had realized that overtime, i began improving with my doodles, so I'm very glad i also listened to that advice as well.

Also most importantly, i have to thank the inanimate symmetry tool of CSP, because the moment i learned or figured out how to activate it, i became inseparable from it.

Anyways, thats about it. Happy New Years, everypony. As a treat, have something i drew back in Jan 13, 2022.

[vilea777]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[worthless-mess]

[nozomi-vents]

[bpdbimbo]

sorry for showing symptoms of the disorder i told you multiple times I have. Do you want me to kill myself?

[commonzinnia]

death isnt enough. i need to never have existed

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[vilea777]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[unknowinglydeceasedlol]

I genuinely mourn the person I could have been.

[professionallyunstable]

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

[hurristuff]

For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this

[rainywhispersblog]

[obscurix]

once i learn how to properly communicate and understand my own emotions it’s over for you bitches

[morbidcrow24]

do I want an apology or do I want to beat the shit out of them