#personal ish I guess

[ressq]

i've been into fandoms since i was like 12 and now so shocked that theres SO MANY kids on here ☠️ it makes me wonder, is this how the fandom people who were 21+ when i was 14 felt? i feel like the fandom climate has changed so much too, maybe it's cus i'm getting old...

i dont know why i'm so genuinely surprised that a solid half of the clockwork orange fandom is in high school. not hating, just realizing that fandom stuff on tumblr/twitter is a very teenager type of thing to be into. i guess that's why so many of us that are adults are autistic. (me included) we're kind of known for sticking to more childlike/teenlike behavioral patterns and i guess now i'm realizing that this isn't typical adult behavior. nothing wrong with it, obviously. it's fun. i like being in spaces with a lot of other wacky autistic people.

i think it's fine if a minor enjoys or shares my art or whatever. i interacted with plenty of normal fandom adults back in the day, after all. it's nice to see people of all ages making cool art.

a part of me will always feel a bit dirty about posting anything adult though, even as a joke, because it's like...i know what fandom teens do ☠️ i was there looking for illicit content CONSTANTLY as a teen, and making it too. i guess i turned out okay despite it all...a functional-ish adult with a steady job, nice bf, and plenty of hobbies. was CONVINCED i had bpd or some shit as a teen but then that steadied out after my brain finished growing.

seeing a 13 year old posting about wanting to be porked by alex delarge gives me whiplash. like damn, where are your parents...do they know you watched this movie? (maybe it was just me who had parents that were freaked out by my interest in the macabre) but also i was just like you once, kiddo. sneaking on tumblr and ao3 and shit to get my fix of Questionable Materials. hell, i think the blog i used as a teen to hornypost about fictional characters is still on here somewhere, too. (it had a loooot of punch-out stuff)

seeing people participate in a fandom as an adult is such a weird perspective, i've never felt like i had to be careful before. also now being an adult with adult things to do means i'm not living and breathing it in the same way. hyperfixations, special interests, they're the same in many ways but i experience them through the lens of an adult with an adult life.

born to hyperfixate, forced to grow up. born to shit, forced to wipe. i stock shelves at a supermarket while deep in thought about characters from an old movie with like 30 seconds of screentime and almost no dialogue. as one does.

this post means nothing. this is a personal blog. i will type words on it.

[inthewychelm]

seethers cover of careless whisper is enough to make me lose it when im alone, it playing at work is enough to cause psychic damage

[nyehilismwriting]

WOAH IVI ROMANCE?!?!?!??!!1?!1?1!1?

not to show my cards too early or anything, but given the time frame for this project it's really not a big deal to say that I've had an IVI romance route planned since the start, but it isn't in the game yet! the thing w this route is that it would lock in in chapter one, and I need the game to be largely written in order to plan it properly - it'll be a weird one for pacing, obviously, since IVI isn't um. There. for huge swathes of the game. so it's something I have Planned, but won't be in the game until the final release:-)

[bonetrousledbones]

very rushed and very messy but here is frisk at college for the 9th anniversary :> they probably wouldn't be able to go home for every celebration, but video calls can substitute well enough in the meantime

[daxwormzz]

Catabolic Seed

(more Piter, this time depicting my friend’s design for him. I like a little variety sometimes)

[ros-sauce]

I dream of kissing The Terraria Zoologist under the moonlight

[matchesandmetaphors]

It’s the funniest thing when the toxic masculinity transmasc crowd says stuff like “even with your voice dropping on testosterone, you’re gonna have to adjust your pitch and mannerisms or people will think you’re GAY” buddy, I’m pretty sure it’s the whole “being married to a large bearded bear-like cis man” thing that’s gonna do that. But thank you for your concern, I guess.

[yesokayiknow]

do you have anything more about the bigeneration au for 12 and 13, I'd love to hear what you think their dynamic would be.

-they take great delight in confusing everyone any time they can. twelve calls thirteen old man and thirteen calls twelve young woman and it makes them laugh every time. while they love the fam equally thirteen tends to end up chatting with graham and (badly) playing footie with ryan while twelve does yaz's nails and hair and it's nice that they don't have to force themselves to do activities that don't feel right

-twelve actually tells the fam things! like still not a lot but at least they hear the name time lord before like a whole year has passed lmao. thirteen really fucking hates it. he's like tough. stop trying to be unknowable bitch. he (pretty vaguely) tells graham about river and the three of them just sort of sit together sometimes reminiscing

-while they generally are pretty chill they also have a competition on who can explain the most things the quickest. every time something new happens they're like standing in the corner visibly shaking waiting for the fam to pick one of them to explain. thirteen starts the points system just so she gets picked more often, and then twelve starts composing little tunes for whoever asks the smartest question. the fam think it's adorable

-twelve convinces yaz & ryan to go to uni. thirteen's like we don't really have time and twelve's like There Is Always Time For Education. unlike thirteen, who would literally die if left alone, he's always trying to gently encourage the fam to have lives outside of the tardis. he's also trying to convince thirteen that being alone's okay at times (it's not going well)

-twelve's still lecturing at st luke's in his spare time (though it's harder, without nardole and bill and missy). whenever he's having a particularly bad day thirteen turns up to his lectures and shouts corrections. he will never ever admit how much it amuses and distracts him

-they still fall out sometimes, because who do they hate more than themselves? they both can be pretty condescending and impulsive and it turns out that it sucks to be on the other end of that. thirteen refuses to take care of herself in a way that borders on obsessive and hates when twelve tries to keep her safe; twelve tends to isolate himself for days upon end and hates when thirteen tries to drag him back into sociability. they usually keep these arguments away from the fam. the first time they really really lose it at each other in a public space is when they first encounter the cybermen. it takes. uh. a while to get back into a good place after that

-twelve mainly gets frustrated with thirteen more than the other way around because she literally refuses to show any pain or negativity Ever until it all explodes. this is partly because a lot of the coping mechanisms she instinctively wants to use are little quirks they started doing due to the loop in the confession dial and she doesn't want to trigger him. when he realises this he's like i'd rather you tapped out the seconds when you feel trapped than yelled at all of us actually.

-sometimes twelve's like hey you're going all cold and weird again. go kick something. and thirteen's like fuck off and then she goes and punches a cushion and yells into a black hole and comes back later like thanks you were right. and sometimes thirteen walks into a room and takes one look at twelve and walks right out and goes and gets his guitar and chucks it at him and after like five hours straight of playing he's like thanks man i really needed that

[eight-pointed-star]

looking at you politely before he eats you

i might add details (gold and white individual feathers, some blood specks 🤭) later but for now here he is

my musings on chimera fingon (and siren maglor :3) in the tags of the original post and the reblog (spoilers ahead)

[strawberri-draws]

various drawings of child me in a big ol' tutu haha

[inthewychelm]

i like listening to my music at full blast first thing in the morning because that means that i cant hear anything even when my hearing aids are turned on properly

[sajra-savera]

[RANT ALERT]

I HATE HATE HATE MY COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION OFFICER !!!!

They literally treat to you as if they did you a favor by giving you admission! Like bruh aren't you the same person who was marketing your college (actually begging) to me to get admission here?! I could've easily gotten admission anywhere else with my grades... But fuck my luck and stupidity!

This guy talks to me as if he's paying my fee😃🔪

Like I love my college and other faculties but this one mf-

I never curse irl but oh my god this guy got me wanting a murder registered in my name 👹

His job is literally to help students with their issues but all he does is asking 'Why the hell did you fuck it up at first place?!' for at least a 100 times before making a disgusting face at me and giving some poor solution.

My lord with all due respect fuck u and your solution🥰

Why would someone mess up intentionally if they already know they're gonna face you at the administration office? I'm telling you guys he holds some past life grudge against me😭

[wanderingmeme]

star rail 2.6 quest spoilers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Played a little bit of the hsr quest yesterday and now am thinking about something after rewatching that one Mr. Reca cutscene... Memokeeper have such horror potention is crazzzyyyy. Thank you Fuli for feeding me like that 😋

[tex-now]

What's kin. I keep seeing it and I have no idea what it is. Like. Otherkin dogkin twinkin what does it mean I'm confused does anyone know

[softgothbabe]

Sorry for hopping online and rapid-fire spamming your dash with reblogs. It will happen again

[dreamsy990]

i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs

the dogs in question