#periods go to hell
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feeling like i just got stabbed in the gut with a poisoned knife
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While I was drawing the angel!AU, I wondered how someone like Alastor could get to Heaven. It will definitely be… unconventional.
#in the end he will willingly go to Hell#and Charlie will periodically visit her boyfriend#keydidraws#hazbin hotel#charlastor#radiobelle
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The world if people stopped applying their understanding of "conservatism" and "religion/christianity" through a very modern, deeply American view onto Death Note (a manga from the Early-mid 2000s which is very much set in the cultural and societal context of early-mid 2000s Japan and all that entails):

#death note#fandom wank#i just be ramblin#listen I get it there's christian imagery#it's not bad to go over what that entails and whatnot. fun even#but beyond some potential parallels and symbols you have to understand that this is a japanese story set in japan in the early-mid 2000s#(and later an imagined 'future' from there)#you are not understanding the story if you're placing the characters on a political spectrum of beliefs based on what conservatism looks#like to you#you're superimposing your personal modern experiences and your country's societal/cultural state onto Death Note and it's characters and#calling it 'a reading'#I genuinely don't know how many more times I can endure people acting like Soichiro Yagami and Teru Mikami have the exact same set of#beliefs and religion and standards as a Southern USA republican/ultra conservative super christian#Or hell. People assuming that Light Yagami can't ever be relatable because someone like Light looks to them like a teacher's wet dream of a#perfect student who is always working hard and studying#when the truth is that while Light is the top student in Japan at one point‚ everything he is doing is within the realm of expectation for#'good' Japanese students. Not exceptional or supernatural or beyond dedicated. Good.#This is a manga where the time period and the setting and society at the time are deeply important#And you will never hope to have an understanding by forcing it to conform to what 'normal' society looks like to you#relating to character's experiences can go beyond relating and end up in territory where you're superimposing your experiences onto their#fictional reality and calling it canon#edit (because people put some good tags on this post): even though I was kind of vague about it this also goes for assuming that#christianity is the only possible religion any characters could be into#the options aren't either athiesm or christianity. there are other big religions in Japan#and in the same way Christianity colors American society and experiences even for people who have never practiced‚ so goes the way society#and people's general beliefs are influenced by Japan's major religions#the person in the tags who mentioned Shinto gets a cookie
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things alfie daydreams wistfully about when it's been too long since he was last almost-killed by tommy
#alone in margate on a lot of drugs and missing the homoerotic death threats etc#tommy x alfie#periodic drawing of Them required for my sanity#just endlessly obsessed with alfie's#“look i've been a (not very) good dog thomas and i think we should get to play the game where we go to hell together now please. as a treat#and then obviously tommy's “oh no i was just dealing with this at home how have i ended up with two of you”#all very compelling to me#tommy shelby#alfie solomons#peaky blinders#my art
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if you are nonbinary and tried to exist in the undertale and/or deltarune fandom you may be entitled to financial compensation
#periodic reminder that if you use he/she for kris frisk and chara you should go Directly to hell#words from the monarch
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Me staring at the 17 requests I've got in the chamber while I log onto my notes app to write a filthy as fuck professor!Mike x student!Reader fic ain't no one asked for

(anyone wanna guess the next fic-)
#i keep sayin im going to hell. the age gap kink in this one might rlly do it this time#listen. im on my period. im allowed some fuck ass treats.#josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson fanfic#mike schmidt#jhutch#mike schmidt fnaf#mike schmidt smut#mike schmidt x reader
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something something cesare always falling for rodrigo's ploy to pit him against his younger brother by rubbing in the fact that juan leads the papal army (aka cesare's greatest desire) so he mocks juan out of bitterness at every chance vs. rodrigo threatening juan to strip out his position (aka his honor and entire sense of being despite his incompetence) and giving it to cesare but juan doesn't fall for their father pitting him against his older brother and doesn't spitefully put him down but only begs their father not to take it away...
#cesare is way too funny for “dreamed up in last night's whorehouse” wkkawk TAKE THAT JUAN !!#but that being said#idk it's just juan's resilience that made me go 👀#like he didn't fall for what rodrigo is trying to do but instead he remained steadfast since he holds no ill intentions towards cesare#then pleads for the importance of honor and duty...#while cesare is focusing on undermining juan's position and take it for himself !!#i mean the green eyed monster trope is a defining character trait tbh#juan didn't ask for the burden of the position but he'd also willing to measure up to the family's expectations#hell he didn't ask to be pitted against cesare either !! after all it's the belonging and closeness is what he really desires#thank you david and françois for your insights and helping me understand their dynamics even more. bless.#the borgias#juan borgia#cesare borgia#rodrigo borgia#tv shows#period drama#neil jordan#tb text post
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when they look at me, they don't know / i'm morphed with someone else, i'm just a ghost
#keys' art#art#undescribed#derealization issues go crazy man. anyways yeah#idk this one is just kinda. the mood rn. waiting for our period to kick in proper so that we can actually feel like a legitimate human#sometimes you just feel like your head is Not There or at least Elsewhere#oh yeah! the pose + shading ref here is mumbo jumbos most recent yt community post :)#he is a stupidly skilled photographer. that man has a hell of an eye for composition and lighting. like holy lord god in heaven
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Was double checking to see if the founders also had those ridiculous shoes and...how is it worse...maybe I just don't know anything about shoe design but what is that extra string supporting...making sure it doesn't fall off ig...? But then why with the fishnet. Is that part of the shoe or was Hashirama getting up every morning and sliding into fishnet leggings under his armour...
#Hashirama#founders era naruto#naruto warring states period#naruto#senju#Sometimes I look at designs that overall look sick as hell. Squint. And have to go. Wait. Hashirama had fishnet leggings?? Or weird shoes??
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#chemicals#chemistry#i love chemicals#I love chemistry#periodic table of elements#periodic table#Can I lick it#And when I look at the HEEEEELIUUUUM I go liiiick and it don't taste too good but at least my voice gets ᴿᵉᵃˡˡʸ ʰᶦᵍʰ#Helium#oxygen#Argon#Phosphorus#Nitrogen#Gold#Iron#Magnesium#Calcium#Lithium#Uranium#Francium#Indium#Idaho isn't real#americium#Who the hell named these things#Sulfur#potassium#What's the one that wood is made out of again#Europium#Okay that one is just stupid#Hydrogen
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was trying to figure out why I feel so Wrong rn and I think it's because I didn't follow my usual daily routine like At All and now my brain is freaking out. woke up at a vastly different time, had entirely different tasks throughout the day, took a nap at a weird time (to make up for the fact I had about 3 hours of sleep last night), zero human contact for the past 15 hours, and ate different food from usual (various leftovers from social events/thanksgiving, instead of cooking for myself like normal). and before I really realized that these were all things that were Bad For My Brain I was just wandering around my house like "why do I feel like garbage?? I've literally been outside so much today my brain should be happy"
ANYWAY here's to me not remembering I have issues with unstructured living because my days have been so similar for the past 4ish years that I straight up Forgot that things being too different too fast makes me crazy ✌️
#rye.txt#I'll be fine lol#the sudden shift in my daily schedule and my generally unhealthy eating today were the big things that made me feel Bad#so now that I am actually cognizant of this I can take steps to mitigate it tomorrow#god. what the hell did I even eat#leftover soup. that was breakfast (very out of my ordinary). uhh. a lot of pie (grandma made a ton for thanksgiving).#a tangerine that miiight have been on the edge of going bad#(thought I should eat a fruit. fruit did not improve status)#reheated popcorn chicken? that was not a good decision I felt so gross after eating that#hrm. ok my issue is that I feel like I Need To Eat These Leftovers So They Don't Go Bad#otherwise i'll be Wasting Perfectly Good Food#BUT. I don't want to eat it and eating it makes me feel generally unfulfilled and kinda blehg#ough. why can't I be normallllll#I'm also not dealing with the whole 'zero human contact' very well tbh. which is weird because I'm a deeply introverted person#and usually spend my days avoiding people like the plague#but idk. it's been literal years since I've spent and extended period of time completely alone#I don't knowwww i don't know#I'm gonna invite some friends over tomorrow and get them to help me eat these dang pies#ALSO. ITS BEEN REALLY COLD TODAY. AND I HAD TO BREAK INTO MY NEIGHBORS' HOUSE#(was not breaking in; I was trying to take care of their dogs since they're out of town)#(but their door code AND their garage door code weren't working#and I didn't have a physical key to use#so I had to push my way in through a back door that'd been blocked by a pile of boxes taller than my head#and squirm into their garage in order to get inside and take care of the dogs)#(was a very stressful way to spend my early waking hours)#i ALSO had to drive to the AIRPORT this morning which SUCKED. had to drop off family#which like I'm happy to help but also airports suck so much ass I hate them#anyway. today was sort of shitty#but mostly I only have myself to blame#did not structure my day well enough
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girl i like said I should come to a trans underwear party tonight but im on my miserable horrible world ending period. i feel like a fox with its leg in a trap
#I might go look for uhh not a cup but those disc things to keep it outta sight outta mind#it's too light for a tampon but I don't wanna not wear a liner and I will K M S bad if I'm clearly having a period so fml#periods are the worst thing on earth to me like the most dysphoric hell imaginable they make me feel like I should be shot
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didn't want to kill myself even once today and i wrote 950 1500 words, we are so fucking back y'all*
*assuming i haven't just jinxed myself anyway
#sure would love to know what the FUCK brought that on though!!!! like!!!! what!!!!!!!!!!#felt fantastic wednesday night. had a challenging thursday night. friday was average. saturday i descended into the depths of hell.#like how often is this going to fucking happen#bc i am NOT a FAN!!!!!!!#it lifted when i got my period BUT i have never ever in my entire almost 30 years of menstruating had PMS depression#or PMS at all#not even a tiny bit#so i'm assuming that's a coincidence but i guess we'll see next month!! fun!!!!!
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Dan had to post that sappy shit today of all days I'm actively CRYING they've done so much for us just by being visible and out and HAPPY in front of our very eyes and I'm SO PROUD OF THEM like my god I'm not okay in the slightest but this community means so fucking much to me and to know the world tried to knock them (and all lgbt people really) down SO MANY TIMES and got so close to knocking Dan down, but he made it through and he's here and queer and filled with such JOY and LAUGHTER and they give the laughter and joy to us whenever they share a bit of content and it's so much it means so fucking much... we all went through so much shit.... I need a hug fucking hell I'm literally crying
#phan#dan and phil#dnp#I have tears streaming down my face I was not ready for it#first day of my period I am so sensitive today why would they do this to me#if Phil says something I'm gonna fucking die I fear#DANIEL HOWELL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME#fucking hell he'll never know how much he changed my life#I need to get the WAD quote tattooed cause it truly gave me the courage to keep fucking going when life was so bleak#I owe them SO MUCH of my laughter over the years it'ws ridiculous#I'm crying so hard ahaha#wow this shit hit me
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i think about this scene a lot…
#leon s kennedy#re4r#his trauma#i want more scenes from this time period#what did he go thru#how was he treated#his time with krauser#it looks like he went thru hell#and my addiction to traumatic angst riddled boys needs more than 2-3 quick scenes#i need OJ remake now!
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this book is fucking boring and i can't wait to be done (500 pages left i can get it done in a week tops) ive never despised a book more in my life. mr alexandre dumas PLEASE understand that nobody gives a fuck and go back to writing about homosexual cunts and drug-induced orgies. PLEASE i am begging you.
#at least now i know which specific time period to avoid!!!!!#anything that is pre- and post-18th century is 100% good to go. ANYTHING between 1789 and 1792 is HELL on earth.#will buy la sanfelice next#personal
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