#people who make different life choices are allowed to exist in public you will have to learn to fucking get over it

[hertwood]

"polyam people aren't oppressed bc its a CHOICE" ok so like. you still know you're a bad person when you harass people for harmless choices you disagree with right. no one says kids who like anime are oppressed but if you bully them for it you're still an asshole

[femmefatalevibe]

Do you have tips on how to be emotionally mature?

Remember that everyone is ultimately out for themselves. They don't think about you and your choices as much as you think they do. Make taking care of yourself and advocating for yourself your #1 priority. While you should be respectful and show empathy for others' circumstances, your life is meant to be lived for you.

Don't take people's comments or actions personally. Almost none of their responses are a reflection of you or your character. Most people's actions are a reflection of how they see themselves. When people reveal their true colors, believe them. Proceed with this information in mind – whether it's a friendship, professional opportunity, romantic endeavor, familial tie, etc.

Set boundaries and non-negotiables for yourself. Don't overextend yourself to seek approval or validation as a means of dictating your self-worth or value to others. Learn to trust your gut instincts, and remain mindful of your energetic limitations. "No" is a complete sentence. It is not selfish to stick to your non-negotiable habits (bedtime, workout schedule, etc.) – these practices are a sign of self-respect and self-love. Speak your mind (with tact) and stand your ground. You owe it to yourself to live the life that you want.

Know that the only constant in life is change. People and opportunities will come and go with age. Enjoy the moments and experiences you get to enjoy with others or alone. Relationships are meant to last for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. Not every impactful connection is meant to last a lifetime, but you shouldn't invalidate the lasting impact of certain temporary connections – they most definitely can change your life.

Remain selective about those you allow into your life and the company you keep. Embrace the quality over quantity approach when it comes to choosing the individuals who deserve to be in your inner circle. Don't disclose information you wouldn't want in writing to those who have yet to earn your trust. Cut ties unapologetically with people who choose to tear you down or disrespect you. You win in life when everyone you're close to is supportive and committed to cheering each other on in all of their life goals/milestones.

Learn to accept and explore discomfort. Growth requires change, and a side effect of change is discomfort. Accept that the circumstances are presenting you with an opportunity in life to level up. Breathe and take things one step at a time. Sometimes, you don't need to know the big-picture meaning of the conversation or task in front of you. Focus on what's in front of you – using good judgment and critical thinking skills – and figure the rest out later.

Set your future self up to win. Eat a healthy diet, move your body, save and invest, read books, build your professional and social networks, and upskill professionally and interpersonally, go to the doctors annually (all the major ones – primary care, dentist, gyno, dermatologist) or whenever an issue presents itself to nip it in the bud early.

Remain curious. Don't act on baseless assumptions. Ask someone about the intention or emotions behind their actions before creating a conflict or making accusations. Accept wishful thinking for what it is – especially when it comes to romance and professional endeavors. A job offer doesn't exist until it's signed and sealed in writing. Relationships come with exclusivity, clear and regular communication, and no issues with public knowledge or a title.

Reframe mistakes and failures as life lessons. These opportunities inspire self-reflection, performance evaluation, and introspection. Use these experiences to help you map out your next moves and strategize your actions toward success.

Creating life milestone timelines is useless. We all have our own history, circumstances, goals, and personalities. Individuals born in each given year are not a hivemind. Don't compare your journey to others. We are all on our own paths with different significant milestones at different points in our lives.

Embrace your desires. Indulge your adult self and inner child. Explore the pleasure of getting to know yourself – your likes, dislikes, values, preferences, and turn-ons/turnoffs in every area of life. Allow yourself the time, space, energy, and resources you need to satisfy your authentic self. Don't compromise your identity for the approval or praise of others. Learn what you want and be unapologetic for satisfying your own needs. Discover, experiment, play, test, learn, and re-evaluate as needed. Gamifying your life helps free you of societal expectations of what it means to be a certain age, gender, or personality based on your nationality, profession, sexuality, socioeconomic status, etc.

[sgiandubh]

Pretzel logic

I never liked funerals - who does? - and I have always tried to avoid them, under different pretexts. This is one of the moments we meet the Great Beyond and we are at our most vulnerable. It's only fair and it is not something to be taken lightly, ever.

August 10, 2022 happened a few days before I decided to give OL a try and by the time I landed in here, that YouTube live had already been taken offline, perhaps with good reason.

That people watched it should come as no surprise to anybody: it happens in all cultures and societies - Death fascinates us and makes us curious, even if it's a questionable, voyeuristic kind of curiosity. It was posted for everyone to see, on the biggest content streaming platform on planet Earth. It was posted in consideration of the ending peak moment of the COVID pandemic, to allow for more people to attend, with the family's prior consent. It was most probably shot from the organ balcony, at a respectful distance and I am being told the streaming was blurry: a good thing, if you ask me. People screeching for "more clarity" of those screenshots should, in my humble opinion, think twice: context and taboo and all that.

That people saw something bizarre in the front pew was unavoidable. That the said detail (Occam's Razor would help us conclude that ambiguous things are usually anything but...) was screenshot, edited and made its way in here and elsewhere - impossible to control. However, I have not read any disrespectful comments about the event. Nobody snarked. Nobody grinned. A hole in the plot was pointed out, adding to the whole array of inconsistencies and if I remember well, it was almost missed out entirely (a taboo is a taboo, after all) and started its career online only days after.

Was it shared ad nauseam? Maybe - but who the hell am I to judge? Again, not something you can control, unless you set yourself up as the Torquemadas of this fandom and slap everybody on the wrist with your twisted righteousness. When your people discuss the Data Lounge findings in great, lewd detail, that is called having fun and (I love that one, don't you?) gossiping, as if you were just talking about Miss Scarlett's new petticoat, not a man's reputation. When our people dare to post pictures from a public event, or published for public consumption, that is immediately taxed as being insane or snooping.

A neutral person venturing in here would call out the bias immediately. I call out your hypocrisy and have no problem doing it in writing. And I never peddled neutrality, in here: I simply peddled decency and I remind everyone I have probably never posted any pictures from August 10, 2022 (I will triple check later, but I am pretty sure I didn't). It is a personal choice and, as you know very well, I am not alone in the Shipper community. Far from it.

That you chose August 10 to post the largest, most consistent amount of content I have read on your blogs during the last six months, shows me once more what I already knew: you simply can't help yourself, can you? It's all about slap-a-shipper day, even if this community remained remarkably silent and collected, yesterday. Extremes exist, they are a fact of life: silencing them is useless and unproductive, at least as far as I am concerned.

You have once again showed me your true colors, Mordor. At the end of the day, you do not really have a problem with the pictures floating out there. What you do have a BIG problem with, is the person sitting in the front pew and you would go to great lengths - to any lengths, for that matter - to disguise it under a thick sanctimonious cloak of civic disgust. Your shrieks backfire: if anything, they confirm, not deny. And for the sake of politics, anything goes. It is, therefore, ironic, that in order to post your reasoning, you did look, in great detail and for a consistent amount of time, at the same exact screenshots and pictures you send to hell so gleefully.

Spare me the dramatics.

[kyiratodoroki]

Yandere!Hawks/F!Reader

Content Warning: Not much to note in the intro (brief grope by a villain? 😂, language). The content will grow darker as we delve deeper. The story revolves around a yandere version of the number two pro, so possessiveness, stalking, violence, nonconsensual acts (and other adult themes), gaslighting, and love-bombing are all potentially on the table for starters. I'll try to catch all the tags in each chapter, but there is a possibility that I'll miss something. Proceed with caution? 😂

I'll Keep You Safe

🌹🌙

Hawks was the number two hero in Japan for a reason. Raised and trained by the Hero Public Safety Commission, he did his job perfectly. His good looks and natural charm made people love him, and he was never left wanting for someone to keep his bed warm. Lovers came (several times) and went (rarely by choice), and he never gave it a passing thought. The hero didn't let anyone get under his skin, never allowed himself to feel anything more than simple lust.

That is, until you came into his life.

He'd met many of his flings on the job, and you were no different. Some no-name villain with a chip on his shoulder decided to use you as leverage while trying to escape a robbery; a tired tactic utilized time and again by the most desperate and least creative criminals in the underground. It was impossible for the hero to ignore the indecent way the man gripped your body with one hand (obviously) groping your breast and the other at your waist (slipped beneath the hem of your shirt). With a little assistance from his feathers, Hawks made quick work of the deviant then let the cops take over once the situation was secure.

Like any good pro, he made sure to check on you as the bad guy was lead away in cuffs. He saw how you trembled from head to toe, hair tousled and clothes wrinkled. You looked up at him with wide, teary eyes and a flushed face. Your lips quivered slightly as you thanked him over and over for saving your life. He responded with his signature smile - the one that had graced every magazine and newspaper in Japan - then brushed a stray lock of hair from your cheek as he asked if you needed an escort home. For the sake of safety, of course.

Before you had the chance to accept his offer, some guy appeared from the crowd of onlookers and pulled you into his arms. Hawks chuckled, patted the kid's shoulder, and told him to make sure you got home in one piece. Both of you said thanks about five more times before leaving the scene.

A week later, Hawks found himself still thinking about you. Everything seemed fine after the incident, but there might have been something small the medical team missed, and the potential for lingering mental trauma definitely existed. Civilians crossed paths with villains on a daily basis - many of them suffered worse ordeals - but it was the memory of your expression keeping him awake at night.

You were a pretty girl, even with puffy eyes and a dazed stare. No. Scratch that. It wasn't that you were pretty despite crying. No. You were beautiful, and the terror added a facet of allure that made you unforgettable. Distracting. Every time he caught a glimpse of something that matched the shade of your eyes, he paused, and the sweet quiver of your voice had stolen into his dreams more than once.

His best efforts to forget you were a failure because no matter who he was fucking, he imagined your face looking up at him and your body writhing beneath his. Hawks tried to figure out the reason - aside from the obvious - why he was so taken with some random girl. He'd saved hundreds of them over the years and met thousands.

What made you different? He needed an answer.

Finding a name and address was easy, Your work location was a little harder to get without raising suspicion. He wanted to keep the information handy in case he (inevitably) decided to check in. Standard protocol didn't require heroes to follow up with the victims they saved. The people in charge actually discouraged any type of continued contact, but there were no specific rules against it, especially if the meeting was "accidental". So, while the Commission didn't approve of the extra attention he gave to some of the lovely little birdies he rescued, they looked the other way when it happened and cleaned up any messes left in his wake. He figured it was the least the H.P.S.C. could do. They'd made him into the man he was after all.

[sapphos-darlings]

this is a bit of an out there question so don’t feel pressured to respond!

for super short context i was with friends, was talking about sex, briefly mentioned how i don’t like penis / “penis-havers” and was guilted to hell and back for it (“wdym you don’t like dick?? that’s so weird” and the like).

basically - how do you get over the guilt?? i feel guilty for not liking a body part and when i say it it feels silly but i’ve spent so much time in trans spaces and i’ve been made to feel guilty before for this so it’s knocked my confidence a LOT.

You have to remember that your activism and support are two totally different things from your personal boundaries and sexual preferences. You're not furthering women's rights or trans rights or anybody's rights by having sex or being otherwise intimate with people because of the category they represent. This is not a venue of activism. This is your personal life, your intimate partnerships, your boundaries, your right to choose who you share your body with. And if that "unfairly" excludes people based on whatever arbitrary trait that they have, that's just how it is; nobody is open to dating the whole world. Nobody.

Think of political lesbians, for example. So many women have been burned by women they fell in love with who felt nothing for them but thought they were making a statement by sleeping with them or trying to date them for ideological reasons. You can't reason your way in or out of attraction, it either exists or it doesn't. When you want somebody, it's innate. You can't force yourself to want somebody - no matter how ideologically, morally advantageous that would be to your own or anybody else's eyes.

Your sexuality is your own. Your activism is for the community, for the whole. Your activism does not involve other people's access to your body, you are not a public venue or a service that everyone should have equal access to. You are a person, a human being, a private individual.

You're allowed to draw your boundaries. You're allowed to want people who appeal to you, and exclude those who don't. It doesn't matter why you're excluding them - people, everywhere, all of the time, turn others down for whatever reason ranging from physical to political and that's fine, because that is just how dating and sex work.

What matters for activism and allyship is not who you sleep with, but who you speak for, who you advocate for, whose voices you amplify. And drawing a boundary between supporting and sleeping with a group of people is healthy, actually. For example - I'll always advocate for men's right to fair treatment and bodily integrity, and I'm even bisexual for Pete's sake, but that doesn't mean that men's right to fair treatment and bodily integrity includes access to my body. Like yourself, I am not a public venue. And if it's my choice to never sleep with a man, that's my choice, and wholly unrelated to whether or not I think men are people or deserve fair treatment. I am not a society, I am not a book of law, I am not a service; I am a person.

So - if you're an ally to the trans community, that's great! That's a present and important avenue of activism, and your support is surely appreciated. But your advocacy never includes or implies access to your body or your sexuality, or even your private life to begin with, to the group you're advocating for. You're not obliged to prove your allyship by letting people sleep with you or be sexually or personally involved with you to any degree. That's a horrible concept to push for. Nobody else's rights go over your own. You're just as human as they are.

But of course, it doesn't make everybody happy; just like any sort of rejection, any sort of hearing "I don't like this kind of person, I don't like this body type, I don't think x is attractive" is always going to hit hard and many trans people particularly struggle with feeling like they're just not good enough or that their bodies aren't good enough or that they'll never find love because of who and what they are, so rejection can hurt some extra through these already present vulnerabilities and hurts. But rejection always hurts, and there is no way to avoid rejection when one person in the equation is not consenting or interested. It'll only end in one of two ways: either they get hurt when you can't deliver what you promised them (romantic love, attraction, sexual compatibility), or you get hurt when you grant them access that you didn't consent to, or everybody gets hurt. This only leads to pain and trauma.

It isn't activism to grant anybody access to you specifically. You are not a resource, you are a human being, a private person, you have a right to boundaries, you have the ultimate right to be picky about who you want to be involved with, and your orientation, your bodily integrity, your identity and your boundaries are just as important as anybody else's equivalents.

You are a person. You are not a resource.

[spartazia-blog]

The Polin fandom (over)reaction and discussion around the Marina plot always blows me away because people are so over the top about it. Like, I also didn’t love it, but I sense for incredibly different reasons.

For me, the issue is more that it doesn’t treat Colin as his own character and rather just as the plot device that exists to develop Marina and mostly Pen. Colin gets basically zero POV and *that* bugs me. It could be a great story for his development but he’s essentially forgotten. He’s betrayed by the first woman he believes himself in love with and is exposed to that truth along with everyone else in highly public and humiliating fashion. That would rattle a person’s confidence in their ability to trust their own instincts to the core! And now it’s going to happen again! He’s going to fall in love with someone who is keeping a massive and potentially life-altering secret from him. How would he not see and have to grapple with that parallel? But none of that matters to the majority of the Polin fandom.

For a lot of people, it seems to be more about the fact that Colin is supposed to “belong” to Pen and him having any interest in someone else makes him lesser. Him and how he was impacted matters way less than that it made Pen sad to watch it.

Hence why so many want Colin to have to “watch Pen with someone else like she had to do” Which completely ignores the actual story that played out with Marina and how, while I understand and empathize with her, she was not an actual LI for him?

Side note: That also kind of reflects in how the fandom casts Marina so often as the villain/punching bag but rarely is that focus on her impact on Colin. It’s almost always about Pen and how *she* felt. People care more about one unkind moment, done out of fear and desperation, of Marina towards Pen than they do about the totality of Colin.

I also think, and this is the most controversial part, that people do know deep down that how Pen handled things with LW wasn’t great but, despite complaining that no one accepts her complexity, they don’t want to grapple with her choices or actually allow her that complexity. Hence, Marina bad but also somehow Colin bad so they must suffer for causing Pen pain (however indirectly) while we must brush past the impact that LW and Pen’s choices had on Marina and will continue to have on Colin. It’s also why Colin’s pain and how he was impacted only really seems to come up when people want to make Marina look like a villain so they can argue that Pen did nothing wrong. All initial discussions about the Marina storyline centre Pen and how it made her feel.

It’s why, again, people are so ready for Colin to “suffer” and uplifting some random plot device character (I have not and will not bother to learn his name.) Because, at the end of the day, even though the person actually most hurt and impacted by Marina *and* Penelope’s choices was Colin, he committed the ultimate sin of liking someone before Pen and that matters more to most of this fandom. Because, if most of us are truly honest, Colin doesn’t matter to this fandom other than as an extension of Pen. He is her prize and not his own worthy of development and complexity character.

P. S. If you don’t believe me, spend 2 minutes perusing the Ao3 page for Polin. How many stories are about Colin truly grappling with everything vs him being ‘punished��? And how often does that ‘punishment’ feature Marina cheating on/mistreating/abusing him but still focus mostly on Pen? Spoiler: it’s a huge chunk.

[invisibleicewands]

https://parade.com/tv/michael-sheen-a-very-royal-scandal-prince-andrew-interview

Michael Sheen Calls Royal Family ‘Running Soap Opera’: ‘We’re Kind of Fascinated and Obsessed By It All' (Exclusive)

When it comes to the British royal family, Michael Sheen has "complicated thoughts." 

"I suppose a mixture of things," the Welsh actor explains to Parade. "There was so much respect and admiration for the [late] Queen [Elizabeth] that she had devoted her life to the service of this country and did an amazing job. The royal family is an institution. When you think about the tourism it attracts and the position it plays."

To Sheen, having a "sort of figurehead" in the UK who isn't a politician also "makes a big difference." He says, "It sort of allows for a separation between certain things that maybe allows us to have a different kind of attitude towards our politicians here because a King or a Queen exists."

"So in the kind of ecosystem of our culture here, the royal family clearly plays a very important part, regardless of how you feel about issues of privilege and wealth and all that kind of stuff," Sheen adds.

The Frost/Nixon star stepped into the shoes of British royal family member Prince Andrew in Prime Video's new drama A Very Royal Scandal. The three-part series, which premieres September 19, is based on the Duke of York's infamous 2019 Newsnight interview with Emily Maitlis. 

"When it was shown on TV for the first time, I think, like everybody else who watched it, particularly in the UK, we were just gobsmacked," Sheen recalls. "It was hard to understand how what we just watched, how it could have happened. You know, how did that come to be? What were the circumstances that allowed what we just witnessed to happen? And, of course, our story is exactly that. It's about looking at what are those circumstances. How could a man of such power and privilege allow himself to be put into a situation voluntarily, where he is put under such scrutiny and made to be so accountable?"

From how he transformed into the Duke of York for the series to what he thinks of King Charles, continue reading for Parade's exclusive interview with A Very Royal Scandal's Michael Sheen.

I was blown away by your transformation into the Duke of York... What went into becoming Prince Andrew for this series?  Playing a member of the royal family is a challenge because, on the one hand, there's a lot out there about them, obviously. But it's usually very controlled and stage-managed. When there's public interactions, [it's] in a very controlled and organized way. And then, of course, there's a lot of gossip about what happens behind the scenes and that kind of stuff. The royal family is our longest-running soap opera in this country, so we're kind of fascinated and obsessed by it all. But it's quite hard to sift through the facts from the fiction, and that's just generally speaking with the royal family. When it comes to Prince Andrew, it's a bit like a hall of mirrors, particularly around the episodes, the issues that we're dealing with in this. At the heart of this story and at the heart of the character, for me, was a mystery. I don't know what he did or didn't do beyond a certain point. We know up to a certain point. We know about his relationship with this person and that person. He went to this place and this kind of stuff. But then beyond that, we don't know. 

And so, as an actor, I have to make choices. I need to know what my character did or didn't do in order to play the scenes. So I had to make choices. They were not necessarily reflective of what actually happened in real life. I don't know, but I had to make choices. I'm not going to say what those choices were because I don't want to affect how people watch it. That was a challenging aspect of it compared to other characters I've played based on real-life people. There wasn't that same element, kind of mystery and the unknowable there.

But I watched the interview itself, I mean, hundreds upon hundreds of times. And to begin with, of course, in order to get familiar with the interview, knowing that we're going to portray it. But as time went on, it started to kind of reveal things. The real minute details of it that you wouldn't necessarily notice watching it on TV for the first time, or even for the first few times. But when you've watched it hundreds of times and listened to it, you start to pick certain things up that were kind of hidden to you before, that became real clues to me to areas of him as a character that I could explore in the rest of the piece, not just in the interview. So that was really the heart of it, was that interview.

At what point when you first watched the interview were you like, "Oh, this is going south quickly?" I mean, I think the same as everybody else! When it was shown on TV for the first time, I think, like everybody else who watched it, particularly in the UK, we were just gobsmacked. It was hard to understand what we just watched, how it could have happened. How did that come to be? What were the circumstances that allowed what we just witnessed to happen? And, of course, our story is exactly that. It's about looking at what are those circumstances. How could a man of such power and privilege allow himself to be put into a situation voluntarily, where he is put under such scrutiny and made to be so accountable?

People just don't do that. People in those positions just throw money at something for it to go away and not deal with it, and never put themselves in that kind of vulnerable position. So, for me, the questions I had to ask were, what does it take for a man to think that's going to go well? And what does it take for a man to get to the end of it and think it did go well? And everybody else who [was] watching sees a car crash, sees an extraordinary thing. So that was very revealing in that he allowed himself to be in that position in the first place and felt that it had gone well afterward. That tells a whole story, or at least makes you start to ask questions about that person and their life and their circumstances that would allow for that. 

Did playing Andrew affect or change your perception of him in any way? Oh, it definitely did. Yes. It did. It had not really struck me before in the same way about the fact that, clearly, a big high point in his life was the Falklands War. It had a huge impact on him. I assumed that a royal would be put in this kind of safe place in a war. But he was right in the thick of it. He was in the action. He put himself in real danger. And so then to see him come back from the Falklands War, when he was a young man in uniform, having performed acts of courage, adored by women in the UK, and sort of worshiped almost, the tabloid frenzy around him, about his relationships and all that kind of stuff.

And then to see what has happened since then. Through a natural process, [he's] aged. He sort of lost those looks. He's got further and further away from the center of interest of the royal family as the "spare" as he's known, the brother who's not going to be king. The brother who is going to be king has more children, so he gets moved down the line. And I found that really interesting. That had never really struck me before. That for someone, from the outside, who seems to have so much, to have everything you could want, to get an understanding that from his point of view, he seems to be denied so much. He seems to have lost so much. And to be on the outside of things so much, that definitely changed my perception.

Have you heard anything from Andrew's circle, or from people with close ties to the royal family about your portrayal of [the Duke of York]? Well, obviously, it hasn't gone out yet. I haven't heard [anything]. I very much doubt whether I will. It's a very closed world that I would be very surprised if I did hear anything. It's always a strange thing to play a character based on a real person. You inevitably feel a responsibility towards that person. Even though I'm trying to portray something that is very much warts and all and very rounded and has complexity and all of that, you still can't help but feel a responsibility in the fact that you're portraying a real person who's gonna have real feelings about it, and their family and all the rest of it. The job I've done on it,  it's not going to please everyone. People will come at it with such preconceived ideas and opinions about a person. So, I don't know. But I just hope that people recognize it as a real human being.

You met the late Queen [Elizabeth] and received an OBE from her in 2009. When it was reported in 2020 that you had returned it, you spoke about getting to a time when there would be a sort of changing of the guard in the royal family. [This September marks] two years since the Queen's passing. I'm curious: What are your thoughts on the royal family today?  Well, I think, as we do as a nation here, have sort of complicated thoughts about it, really. I suppose a mixture of things. There was so much respect and admiration for the Queen, that she had devoted her life to the service of this country and did an amazing job. The royal family is an institution. When you think about the tourism it attracts and the position it plays. I think the fact that we have a sort of figurehead in our country that isn't a politician makes a big difference. It sort of allows for a separation between certain things that maybe allows us to have a different kind of attitude towards our politicians here, because a King or a Queen exists.

So in the kind of ecosystem of our culture here, the royal family clearly plays a very important part, regardless of how you feel about issues of privilege and wealth and all that kind of stuff. I think it was always going to be a challenge for someone to take over the mantle of the late Queen. But [King] Charles seems to be doing a very good job of that, and seems to be providing consistency in challenging times. He was always a man who, in the past, was quite free with his opinions. And I think people were worried about how that would work and whether that would have to change. But it seems like he's doing a very good job of that at the moment. 

Is there one member you haven't met who you'd be keen to meet in the future?  I would love to meet Princess Anne. She seems like such an amazing person, and funny and smart. She seems to handle that position very, very well. She seems to be one of the most charismatic of all the royals to me. So I would love to meet her.

[lollytea]

/eating disorder mention The choice of Hunter doing ballet is fascinating, and the fact that it's still something he does when he's left stardom. While not as well known, it does come with a lot of the same pressures associated with showbiz, and the sport has a heavy association with eating disorders. But I'm not sure how much of that pressure exists if he doesn't actually perform. Which is to say, what is Hunter's relationship with ballet?

(More talk about the eating thing under the cut, that some might be uncomfortable with. Also a lot of ballet Hunter talk.)

So I tagged that other post with ED just in case, but I'd like to clarify that it's not exactly the condition that Hunter deals with.

There's a difference between an eating disorder and disordered eating and Hunter suffers from the latter. It's not a mental health issue so much as a physical condition that has resulted from having his food intake monitored for his whole life. These circumstances can lead to EDs but it's fortunately not something Hunter developed.

However, other people being so obsessed with his weight and body led to him being put on very strict and nutritionally lacking diets. Hunter isn't allowed to eat a lot so his stomach has adjusted.

Which makes it physically difficult for Hunter to immediately digest healthy sized portions once he's in a safer environment. He wants to. But every time he tries, his stomach rejects it and it comes right back up again.

So he needs to take it slow and gradual. Slightly larger portions every time until his stomach is accustomed to the new intake size. It takes a few months but he gets there.

Hunter genuinely loves eating.

Anyway on to the ballet. And like, it was absolutely forced on Hunter when he was young out of a creepy obsession to keep him slim while also training muscle so that his body will be aesthetically appealing enough when he's older.

Hunter is not built to maintain the body he currently has. His natural metabolism is insistent on a bit of chub on his bones, so he's required to push himself extra hard to burn it off.

Philip is gross, man. But he's aware that in order to monetize a teenage boy, it's in your best interest that he be at least somewhat attractive to teenage girls.

So the origins of Hunter's ballet hobby came from the same place as his disordered eating (Adults' sense of ownership over his body.) but they are not linked in that way. Like one does not contaminate the other, at least in Hunter's mind.

He doesn't perform ballet publicly, which is one source of pressure off his shoulders. However, not being public about it comes with its own set of challenges. Namely the stress of keeping it a secret.

It was Philip that decided on ballet to keep Hunter fit but he was also the one who warned him that people knowing about this could lead to severe consequences for Hunter's reputation.

There's a bit of a stigma around boys who do ballet. And Philip, a devoted christian man, doesn't want those rumors circulating about his nephew.

And his nephew, a devoted christian boy, doesn't either. Especially considering how scared Hunter is of himself and the thoughts he's caught himself having before.

(It's difficult being a religious and heavily closeted bisexual teenager in the mid 2000s. Especially considering you don't know what bisexual means and your interest in multiple genders leaves you in a perpetual and nerve wracking state of confusion.)

Anyway, Hunter is actually quite emotionally reliant on ballet. He enjoys it. Which is why the pressure is heavy to keep it a secret. If he's found out, it will be taken away from him.

The thing is Hunter is also an undiagnosed autistic kid who needs some form of motion based regulation in order to keep his emotions in check and ballet is what works best. It's like meditation for him. There's a dance studio on set and as long as he has a few hours in there alone to soothe himself, he's less likely to get fidgety and agitated or have an outburst on set.

Philip does not like to deprive of daily regulation hours, not because he cares about his mental wellbeing, but because its what keeps Hunter somewhat closer to "normal."

He does not want his nephew to be assessed for any mental disorders. It'd be shameful, especially for a boy in his position. So whatever keeps Hunter normal, the better.

So yeah, pros and cons.

Ballet is an extremely difficult and strenuous sport. It's not for the weak. Hunter was worked hard by his teachers. The lessons petered out a few years prior when his schedule got too packed but he continues to practise himself.

But he enjoys it. He really does. It helps him feel some sense of control, normalcy and stability when it feels like the world is falling apart.

I don't think he'd return to lessons after he leaves the spotlight and would much rather return to just keep teaching himself at his own pace. But yes, he continues to dance well into adulthood. And as a proud bisexual man, he no longer deals with the stress of keeping it a secret but enthusiastically mentions it as one of his hobbies if he's ever asked.

[linkspooky]

Adding to my earlier question, I’d love to ask your thoughts on cyborg in teen titans. And why he’s a important member of teen titans. (Example-Like how you talk about how Donna plays a important role as sort of babysitter)

Thank you for the ask! This was actually a long time in the making, because Cyborg is one of my favorite Teen Titans and I wanted to do him justice. I know I tend to talk about Raven and Terra more, but that's only because I think Cyborg is probably the most nuanced of the early Teen Titans so he requires a lot more effort to explain the nuances of his character.

Anyway Cyborg is a TEEN TITANS character his relationship with the group is important to his characterization, and you can't really throw him in other groups because of that.

I'll talk about why, underneath the cut.

So Cyborg's story is based off the story of Frankenstein, it's even in his name. Victor Stone, if you know German Stone = Stein. Cyborg's entire character is written around how society treats the outcast, and he's heavily influenced by the rejection he has faced by his society especially at the start of his arc where he meets the Titans.

There's two things immediately apparent about Cyborg, he's black, and he's disabled. It's visible in his original character design, half of his face is metal. Both of these things have had a pretty big influence on his life. The Teen Titans cartoon chose to focus only on the disabled aspect of his character, which was a bad choice but this is about the comics not the cartoon.

Cyborg's race had more of an influence in his early life and backstory then in the pages of New Teen Titans itself, but it's still there. The biggest aspect is Cyborg has two heavily successful scientist parents who are both black, and because of that Cyborg has been pressured his entire life to be successful in whatever field he is in too. When he was young he was even pulled out of public school for awhile and given private teachers because both of his parents noticed he was a highly intelligent child and wanted to nurture his "genius."

This resulted in two things, number one Cyborg was never really allowed to make mistakes by his parents because they were constantly afraid of him becoming "one of the bad kids."

Cyborg's relationship with his parents is also more complex than I can properly give time for in one meta, but while they are controlling it's not like they're outright abusive. Their intentions are good they want their kid to be happy, and be a success in life, but they do make concessions for Cyborg and listen to him when they realize they've made mistakes or push too far. It's a very normal conflict to have with your parents, your parents think one thing they're doing is best for you and try to take your choices away to push you towards that route because they thnik it will make you happy instead of listening to what you want.

Number two is Cyborg's never really been allowed to just, exist as his own person. His parents both wanted him to be a scientist, and when he showed an early aptitude for it they pushed him in that direction instead of listening to what he wanted. They did relent somewhat by letting him go back to public school, but when Cyborg wanted to go to college they refused to pay for it again unless he went into the field of science.

When Cyborg wanted to be an athlete and go into sports, he couldn't just enjoy them he had to excel at them and be the best of the best and earn a scholarship. So already before the accident which made him Cyborg, he's not really accepted by the people around him for WHO HE IS. He's not really allowed to just be Victor Stone, and Cyborg feels this rejection from everyone, from both of his parents, from the society around him (being treated differently because he was black is a part of his characterization) and as a result he's kind of left one, pretty directionless in his life, and two angry.

As someone who's never really been accepted for who he is, even by his parents, Cyborg doesn't really know what he wants in life. He's always defined himself by his rebellion for what his parents want out of him. He chose sports because his parents wanted him to be a scientist, but even after excelling at sports, the anger he feels at his rejection doesn't really go away.

Cyborg's already kind of lost in life and then the accident happens. Cyborg being half-robot is a metaphor for the way disabled people are treated by society, and I'd say it averts the X-Men Fallacy, because Cyborg has prosthetics he needs to live which make him visibly disabled and people treat him differently because of it. If you are visibly disabled you will be treated differently by completely strangers on the street, and often treated very poorly.

Cyborg's girlfriend breaks up with him, every friend in his life leaves him, and there's nothing different about Cyborg really, he's just got visible prosthetics now. And this is all true to life people will treat you differently than they did when you are abled.

Cyborg has a lot of internalized hatred because of this. He loathes his prosthetics, and the body he is now stuck in and I'd say this is true to life because Cyborg doesn't naturally feel that way he was taught to hate himself by the way everyone around him treated him. He would not be struggling as hard as he does, if people had treated him better in his period of adjustment.

To mention the cartoon quickly, there's a scene in season 3 where he's infiltrating the HIVE, and he fights a version of himself that is a fully robot duplicate and Cyborg just completely beats it to death his his bare hands until it's in pieces. He wasn't acting there, that was Cyborg projecting his internal self-loathing onto an external target and then destroying him. These aren't the actions of a mentally healthy person.

Cyborg has cripplingly low-self esteem, sometimes even veering into suicidal ideation. He mentions that when he woke up he literally would have rather been dead, then to have survived by his father turning him into a robot. These are some pretty serious mental issues that Cyborg is constantly grappling with.

Which is why the Teen Titans are so important to his character, because they are the first friends he ever made who accepted him unconditionally. Cyborg's only ever experienced conditional love before this point, even this Tales of the Titans issue talks about how he fell out with a friend in his life that was only his friend when he completely unconditionally supported him and agreed with everything he said, even his more dangerous and destructive ideas.

While Donna is the babysitter, I believe Cyborg is the first person to recognize that the Teen Titans are a family, because he was the one explicitly looking for a home and a family to belong in. Donna, Dick and Wally already knew each other and they are childhood friends. Garfield had just lost a family and he felt like a tagalong kid for a lot of the early run. Starfire's narrative is an immigrant narrative so she similiar to Cyborg is looking for a new home in the same group.

(There's a lot of Cyborg and Starfire parallels you could elaborate on too, but once again that's for a different Meta).

One thing I like to point out about Cyborg is he wasn't really looking to be a super hero. Cyborg's just wanted to be normal his entire life. He was born a genius, but he wanted to go to public school. When he got robot prosthetics his first thought wasn't "Let's go fight Crime", he went through months of rehab first, and then just wanted to pass as normal.

Cyborg is a selfless guy, no doubt about it. There is a story in the comic where he finally receives experimental plastics that allow him to look normal while still having his cybernetic parts keep him alive. However, over the course of the story he ends up having to give them up, and nearly dying because of a situation where he selflessly stays to help rescue someone rather than just getting out of there. He has a heroic spirit, but he doesn't really WANT to be a hero, his desire has always been to just be normal, or at least be accepted for who he is.

Which is where his dynamic with the group comes in, Cyborg treats all of the eccentric and very diverse cast of the Titans like they are normal people. He's the normal friend. Which is actually really important because I said, Cyborg's one of the more nuanced characters, like yeah he's half robot but besides that he's just a black kid from the city.

Cyborg's actually one of the first people to reach out to Raven, and like go out of his way to try to make sure she's included in the group, and he even fondly calls her "Witch" after he learns to understand her better.

Cyborg's relationship with Beast Boy is also something that's an incredibly positive influence on BB, because while they are best friends I think fandom misinterprets their relationship a lot. Cyborg is constantly giving BB a hard time, they're like vitriolic best buds who like insulting each other. The reason for this though, is because Cyborg knows that BB is a kid who's always misbehaving and joking around and will never actually tell you what the problem is if there is one. Cyborg's hard on Beast Boy because he knows BB responds positively to it, if you take him seriously and be straightforward to him rather than just dismissing him as a joke.

Cyborg's the first one to view the Teen Titans as a family, and that's the most important aspect of the group to him, that's why he's a hero because it gives him a place where he can just be himself. He's the friendship guy, if this were a shonen manga he'd be talking about the power of his nakama.

Which is why the most important Cyborg comic ever, is JLA / Titans Technis Imperative. Towards the end of the original New Teen Titans run Cyborg merged with an entity known as Technis and left his friends to go to space. I kind of hated how they made him more of a robot towards the end, but it led to Technis Imperative which is my favorite comic of all time. What happens is essentially after drifting in space merged with entity, he becomes planet Cyberion and returns to earth. His desire to be back with the Titans is so strong, that he mobilizes an entire robot army to kidnap every single character that was ever a teen titans, and then imprison them in a virtual world designed to make them happy.

That's essentially how important the Titans are as a family to Victor, and how lost he would be without them. Cyborg once became so lonely he almost destroyed the planet trying to reunite his family together again, that's literally how important the Teen Titans are to him you really can't take them away without drastically changing his character.

On top of that Cyborg is also just a painfully human character. He's angry because he's been rejected so much. He's lonely because he feels like he can never truly belong. He's internalized a lot of negative things because of the environment around him, and feels like he is less than human. He's constantly talking about how he's half robot, but he's really not, he just needs prosthetics to keep him alive.

When he is at his absolute lowest points, he pretends to be an emotionless machine, but that's just because it's what he has been treated as. He's probably the most emotional and deeply loving of the titans, but he's terrible at expressing that because he's never been in an environment that's allowed for the healthy expression of his emotions except for when he was with the group. However, the flip side of this is because Cyborg knows what it's like to be rejected he can be deeply emotionally intelligent in regards to other people and goes out of his way to treat THEM like they're human.

If you're interested in more comics about his character, I suggest reading New Teen Titans first. He's also getting a new solo comic series which you can probably just pick up and read because it goes over his backstory, the first issue came out last Tuesday. His old backstory of being with the Teen Titans has been finally restored in canon which is something I'm pretty excited about.

[galwithalibrarycard]

I am so hoping Bridgerton will Go There with Eloise x Cressida, but I also hope that… (book series spoiler and show-related rumor discussion under the cut)

…Francesca’s second love interest really does get genderbent to become Lady Michaela Stirling. A quick debunk of all the reasons I’ve seen people argue against this:

- They can still do a tie-in edition of the book, just put Fran’s actress Hannah Dodd on the cover without either of her love interests and highlight that the season is “inspired by” the book. They can even have Julia Quinn or another writer pull a Twilight and write the genderbent Michaela version of the novel and sell that too, double the books, double the profit. (They can do the same thing with the Eloise book if her TV love interest is Cressida or a recast [or rehired if she wants to come back and they can make the set a safer workplace for her mental health] Marina!)

- I understand that people who love book!Michael might be disappointed, but actually, book!Michael will not stop existing if the show goes the Michaela route! The book will be there for you, unchanged, no matter how the show adapts it. It doesn’t go away.

- The inheritance and infertility plot lines can be adapted, just differently. Maybe Michaela’s dad or brother inherits and knows she’s gay, accepts her, and gives her an allowance to live on. Maybe she’s a widow with a baby boy and he inherits.

- The infertility plotline doesn’t need to end with Fran getting pregnant, especially given that many people who struggle with their fertility in real life never do get pregnant. She can struggle with infertility/loss while married to John, then grieve him and their lost child, then when she’s ready to move on with a new love, she either adopts Michaela’s son or they adopt a ward together to raise as their own. (Adoption, when done ethically, is a VALID form of family-making.) Or F&M are the cool aunts who do all the babysitting for their niblings.

- Even if their relationship can’t be public, and that will always be a source of sadness and stress, they can still have accepting families and take each other as wives in their hearts if not in the law. Queer people have always existed and fallen in love. Allies have always existed and loved their queer relatives/friends, even when that was a dangerous and unpopular choice.

- Besides, this show does not have to be historically accurate. Maybe Queen Charlotte hears Brimsley and Reynolds’ love story and makes LGBT+ equality the law of the land about it.

- The concept of a long story arc where we see a character love her first partner deeply, mourn them, then fall just as deeply in love with a new person of a different gender from her first spouse, is so rare! A bi person who gets to articulate that all of the loves in her life are valid and equal is so sadly rare in media! This season would (I hope) force people to acknowledge that there’s more than straight or gay, that you can’t act like a bi person’s ex-husband “doesn’t count” just because she has a wife now. It would be so good!!!

- Also, while I’m at it, bi4bi Sophie and Benedict. She finds out he’s queer by seeing some exquisite male nudes in his sketchbook and is not even a little bit bothered. She aggressively finds him sexy about it, to combat the discomfort a lot of (straight) women have with dating bi men in real life. They both love having a partner who understands what it feels like to be bisexual, always stuck in the middle. This one’s just a headcanon… unless…?

- You got 3 straight couples already, you can share. And if you’re homophobic to me on this post I will block you. I’m just having fun speculating here.

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

It's like this.

You have a dog phobia. You have good and valid reasons to have a dog phobia -- there was a traumatic, dog-related event in your childhood that has left you with a crippling fear. Dogs are actually a trigger for you, in the medical sense of the word, not just the popular meaning that they make you uncomfortable.

Some of your neighbors have dogs. Many of the bars and stores in your city are dog-friendly. There is a dog park on the route you take to and from work.

Obviously, you can't tell everyone in the world to stop having dogs. You also can't tell everyone in the world to warn you about their dogs. People are allowed to have dogs. People are allowed to exist, with their dogs, in public and in private, without tiptoeing around your specific phobia. Your friend who loves dogs adopting a puppy is not a violation against you, and you don't have the right to be offended or upset by it, because it doesn't have anything to do with you.

This does not mean dogs should be allowed to run free. Dogs are expected to be trained and controllable. Dogs that are violent or dangerous are taken away from their owners. There are rules in place, but those rules do not exist for you.

You could, possibly, become a shut-in. You could avoid every single place in your city that you know is dog-friendly and drive a different route so you don't need to see the dog park. In fact, I would argue you should do that! It requires you taking responsibility for your phobia by actively making changes to your life and routine that will benefit you, rather than sitting around complaining that people who have dogs are evil and should cater to your trigger, but it will have significantly greater positive effect than the alternative.

But you still have neighbors who have dogs. You will still encounter dogs being walked in public. People online will share dog videos.

Which means that if you really, actually want to live a life where you aren't constantly being faced with your own worst trigger, then you need to work to overcome that trigger. You need to seek therapy, in whatever way that works for you. You need to actively strive to get over this fear. Maybe you'll never adopt a dog for yourself. Maybe you'll never be the kind of person who happily fawns over your friend's dogs. But you will, with time, be able to at least exist comfortably in the world, regardless of other peoples' pets or their life choices.

It is your responsibility to manage your triggers, not anyone else's.

(The obvious flip-side of this is, of course, that if you know for a fact that your friend has a dog-phobia, and you are going to adopt a puppy, tell them you've done that, and don't get offended when they never want to come over your house. If you know your friend has a dog-phobia, do not bring them around dogs. Do not send them dog videos. That's obviously not what this post is about, but I know people will whine about it, so there it is.)

[super-hero-confessions]

i want to take a moment to talk about the "whiteness" in the superhero genre.

not in anger or anything like that, this isn't really a rant. it's more of a run on thought than anything. but due to the ongoing calls, trends or whatever else proposing or promoting different forms of censorship, or even the schisms that fandoms seem to like creating between "canon" and "fanon". i wanted to try addressing this the best i could.

i don't mean how the characters are traditionally or predominantly white. while that is a conversation to have on its own, it mostly ends with "the industry was fucked up for a long time and is still kind of fucked up".

when i say "whiteness" in this context, i mean it through a story lens. "whitewashing" a story, "watering it down", i've seen it called "disneywashing", creating a "rose-tinted lens", etc.

in essence, boiling down or censoring a story so it's more "mainstream" or "comfortable" for what is essentially "white america" or white americans. people who are used to and brought up to expect a sort of "feel good" storytelling style with a happy ending where the perceived "hero" wins.

just to be clear, i am not blaming white americans for existing or being brought up with this sort of thing, nobody gets to choose their reality before they have to live it.

but that's sort of the problem.

as far as the superhero genre goes, the boys does a really good job at bringing attention to this issue. the comics especially are excellent for making a point of this.

"but the real reason you won't hear about it is cause the public don't wanna know about it."

with the g-men saga, they make it a point to show that even with "representation" for people of color, it's still often done in a "whitewashed" lens for "white america" in a way that "white americans" will understand and be comfortable with. in a way where black people or other people of color are presented how white people perceive them to be, or how they "should" be. as more caricatures than humanized people.

abducted black kids are expected to conform to "black behavior" as part of a "black" super group, under instruction and supervision from a white man. one of those kids even expresses his unhappiness with that situation and what's expected of him when he never got to choose that path.

with transwomen, we're shown how they get fetishized or disregarded. disrespected or made invalid when they haven't fully transitioned or are "clockable" in any sort of way. when they aren't the "right" type of transwoman for the "mainstream". even what women in prostitution may have to deal with, not limited to transwomen.

one of hughie's friends, big bobbi, is a big, muscular transwoman. she's a bit of an asshole with the brightest, most fun personality, and beautifully flamboyant fashion sense you have ever seen. she can't afford the care that would allow her to transition. but it doesn't matter what other people around her think of that, she still chooses to be herself. and if they object, it's their problem not hers.

she's valid no matter what they say and she's amazing for it.

we are shown harsh realities that real people may have to face or make choices on. realities that white people, especially americans, aren't really comfortable with seeing or acknowledging the existence of. like a sort of strange untold rule that if you don't personally see something, then it somehow can't exist or "goes away".

the show i think in some ways is more subtle, but also goes further in others. it's certainly more brutal and gory than the comic, although that may just be inherent with live-action footage being far more visceral than a drawn stylistic comic panel ever could be.

however, you can't really get more descript or direct than the scene where a-train is talking about his childhood and how he discovered his powers.

he's told, by the white director getting his story, to make his story "a tad more upbeat" and leave out the gun violence.

he's told directly, to censor his own life so it's more comfortable for the "right audience". he is clearly uncomfortable with this fact but goes along with it because he knows who he works for.

this kind of thing isn't limited to the superhero genre at all, although it is painfully obvious how interwoven with the mcu this has become (the now antithesis of the spirit behind the source material and even original direction), it can also be very obvious between american media and foreign media. or even white made media and black made media.

"the color purple" is a good example as well.

again, to be clear, there's nothing wrong with feel good stories or happy endings. there's nothing wrong with liking or preferring that sort of stuff.

but the fact is this.

people who aren't "white america" or the "right target audience" may live and have to face these harsh realities. may even feel seen and heard when they see these realities talked about or well portrayed in media. may feel just as good from the feel good stories and happy endings as the next person.

but at the end of the day, we don't get to come back to a feel good life or rose-tinted reality. we have to go back to our own and are expected to remain as quiet and unseen about it as ever. for the comfort of the people who don't want to see or hear that we exist.

from a personal place, it can feel pretty fucking invalidating and painful to see people complain about the harsh realities i have to face as "unrealistic" or "unnecessary" because they personally have never seen or faced such a reality and thus were "forced" to acknowledge it for a few seconds of their life.

except they didn't have to look.

that's what content warnings and disclaimers are for, right? to give people a choice and protect those who might be triggered by it.

and maybe they were "unnecessary", that is generally the nature of injustice and hardship. but i, and many others, still had to live through them.

the reality is that a call for censorship is a call for expulsion of anything that doesn't fit with the "white american" or "right" world filter. more often than not, silencing victims.

telling them "your story's not okay to tell because it makes me uncomfortable" when you didn't have to stick around and listen or watch their story.

no one "forced" you to sit down and stay. you could have just kept moving along and found one of the thousands of other pieces of media made for you and people like you.

but most importantly, it's not about "you". it wasn't made for "you".

and it doesn't have to be.

it goes even further with "canon" and "fanon". the point of fanfiction is for fans to take their favorite characters in the media they like and create their own stories however they want to.

in spirit?

this is a beautiful, wonderful, incredible thing to see. it's media and artists inspiring more creativity and artists. it's people having fun. it's people playing with art freely.

but like anything, it's not without its flaws.

there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to save a favorite character or "rewrite" a story your own way. yeah, sometimes "canon" writers can drop the ball or even make very stupid messes. whether narrative inconsistencies, badly executed twists, there's room for critique for them too.

that's not the problem with "fanon".

the problem is that many of the fans participating in "fanon" that is built are still fundamentally "white america" or from similarly founded societies. they are still people raised or indoctrinated in a form of purity culture and pro-censorship ideas that ultimately silence and talk over marginalized groups.

i was raised in that kind setting too, so i get it. i was raised to be silent.

and it is so difficult to realize, self actualize, and to break out of it. i am still working through it. your own world views and core beliefs falling apart right in front of you is no cake walk. it hurts to know you've been lied to your entire life and have to acknowledge it.

and i think freedom in fiction, fanfiction, art, expression, and more are really just a few of those things that have the right foundation to build on and help people break out of that.

but not when the same ideas get recycled and repeated and reinforced, just with new packaging.

people of color. but portrayed through the lens of "white america". although i won't say it's limited to "white america" because there is racism all over the world that presents itself in different forms depending on where you go.

there's nothing wrong with practicing the features of people from other cultures and countries. nothing wrong with referencing and actually doing facial studies. that should be encouraged and cherished, not shut down. but it takes listening to the voices, experiences, and critiques of the people in those groups before we actually see good representation.

lots and lots of lgbtqia+ content made by fans out there. but also portrayed through the lens of "white america", or filtered and censored in a way that makes straight people with a kink feel more comfortable than people who are actually lgbtqia+.

the boys show even did a scene to showcase that too. when ashley tells maeve and elena that audiences will react better to their relationship if there are "clear cut gender roles" and that two "feminine lesbians" would be seen as a "problematic" image.

that's "heteronormativity". even the way that fandoms tend to use the words "twink" or "babygirl". it goes without saying that the way these fandoms, predominantly cisgender heterosexual women, define or redefine "men" and "masculinity" for gay ships ends up being one of the biggest promoters and perpetuators for toxic masculinity i have ever seen.

speculating the sexuality of real people, actors or actresses, based on the random things they like or do and how "masculine" the women or "feminine" the men are is no different than "transvestigating", something only transphobes do.

if we're trying to normalize free expression regardless of gender, this is not how you do it.

i really don't think i should have to spell out how fandom repackages this and perpetuates it further. if you know, you know already, but for those that don't?

switching, interracial relationships, and two "masculine gays" are going to be among your most rarely explored (not kinks) themes in fanfiction.

it doesn't make people wrong or bad to want to explore kinks their own way either. there is nothing wrong with preferring a "top" and "bottom" or having a "dom" and "sub" kink. writing fanfiction should feel safe for the author and readers alike. do what makes you happy, just make sure to tag it correctly.

but i've also seen people put that they are trans or whatever in the author's notes to specify that they write from personal experience to prevent getting attacked for "inaccuracy". let's not ignore that issue, absolutely no one should be getting harassed or attacked over fiction (this includes canon writers).

it just goes to show that "white america" doesn't just have the habit of silencing and speaking over minorities in their own work. the people often hurling out those attacks? "white americans".

the people i see most try to use personal victimhood to censor other people, including victims? "white americans".

i've seen way too many fans promote a bubble of "fanon" while complaining or dismissing "canon", not because of actual narrative inconsistencies or issues with the writing, but because the detail may make them "uncomfortable" or "unhappy".

so they "whitewash" their favorite characters to not have those "flaws". i don't mean create an "au" where their favorite character can, alternatively, not have committed that war crime or groomed someone. i mean they personally absolve and ignore whatever the character did so they don't have to feel "guilty" about liking them.

please stop feeling guilty over fiction. it doesn't matter what the least educated people on the planet say, it's not real and has no bearing on who you are as a person whether you like the villain or not.

what does have a bearing? whether or not you are willing to dismiss or acknowledge what the villain does when your reaction to their actions should be your reminder that "you" are a human.

and again, we can not choose the realities we are born into or how we are brought up. but we can become aware of the world that is around us. and in making ourselves aware, we can also choose whether or not we participate and contribute to those segregated "realities".

societal and fandom awareness, or lack there of, are the problem. but censorship is not a solution. censorship can only exacerbate this.

this isn't some sort of cry to shut down criticism either. on the contrary, we can't have proper critique on media, good or bad, we can't have nuanced discussions when censorship reigns. that is a huge part of what this whole thing even is.

but with censorship? we can have victims who feel marginalized, insulted, and silenced because their personal experiences and harsh realities were deemed "inappropriate" or "unsafe" for the "right" kind of people, thereby leaving them as the "wrong" kind of people.

content warnings and informed viewer consent are what protect people.

censorship only has the goal of being divisive and filtering "people" from "scum".

"whiteness" is just another pervasive, invasive way for people to keep pretending that everything is "fine", but only for the "right" type of people.

we all have a choice to listen. and we all deserve a choice to speak up. but no one should be silenced.

trauma does not come with a nondisclosure agreement, please stop acting like it does.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

May I ask what helped you decide you wanted to convert? For me, there's always been a fascination with Jewish culture that grew into a lot of love for all of the aspects of religion. As a queer person, the celebration of survival against all odds really spoke to me as well as the deep philosophical nit-picking of the Talmud and what god even means. The fact that you even be Jewish and convert as well without even fully believing in god is very meaningful to me.

I haven't started my conversion process yet because the only synagogue near me has some pretty bad politics but I really hope to be able to start one day

Anyway I hope you have a nice day💖

I've had this ask in my inbox for days because I've spent forever just thinking about how to answer it. I'd say it's really two big things that made me want to convert. the first thing being the people around me who were Jewish and had a love for their religion, and the second being my catholic mother.

let me explain the my mother first. I was raised catholic. my mother comes from an Irish catholic family, so from birth to about 8th grade I was raised as a catholic. I never really questioned it any. my dad was lutheran, and even though he wasn't religious, we sometimes went to mass with his parents. and we also had lots of friends who were all different flavors of christian, so I had a pretty diverse experience of what it ment to be christian. but that's the thing, I only knew about christianity. I mean, I knew other religions existed. I knew that other people believed things that were different than the things I believed. I knew there were different traditions and holidays and such. but I knew basically nothing about it until I got to middle school.

I went to a very small catholic school for middle school. I had previously gone to a public elementary school. but at 6th grade, my mother really wanted me to go to the school she went to when she was a kid. it was a tiny little k-8 brick building connected to the local church that couldn't have had more than 200 kids in the entire school. it was basically the same as public school, although the math program was a year ahead so I was doing geometry in algebra 1 in 8th grade instead of 9th. we had a religion class that was basically history revolving around early christianity. I say that because although they said it was the history of Jewish people before Jesus, it was taught in a very christian-centric way.

I wouldn't say it was a bad school. there was never any forced political views. there was an optional field trip to go to the march for life anti abortion thing in DC, and I wanted to go (because I was a stupid kid who had no idea what abortion even was and just wanted to visit DC) but my mom told me I really shouldn't and explained why she's pro choice. I distinctly remember this conversation with her, because it was at that point I realized that christians, even of the same dinomination, have wildly different views, but you aren't really allowed to talk about it.

I can't remember a lot about the school. I just remember that I was bullied a lot. I had severe undiagnosed adhd and autism, plus I was struggling with my own sexuality and gender. although the school wasn't outright homophobic, it wasn't like they were hosting pflag meetings either. so I kinda bottled my emotions up until high school. it was at that time I became an atheist. I was questioning the concept of an all knowing and all loving god who would make a world with so much hate and violence and sadness in it. I couldn't accept that god loved me, knew everything about me, made me the way I am, but also hated me because I was gay and disabled. obviously I wasn't taught this at middle school. but I heard it online from homophobes and ablists using religion to harm others, and I associated this with all christians. I didn't hate christianity, I just didn't want to be a part of it.

so anyway, I was an atheist for a while. for about two years in high school. I wasn't a reddit atheist or an antitheist. I still respected other people's religions. I just didn't believe in any of my own. I was still questioning my gender at this time, and I struggled a lot with grades especially in my freshman year. I finally started going to therapy and taking meds to help focus, and my grades drastically improved my sophomore year. (I just realized that those terms probably mean nothing to non-americans. freshman is first year of high school, or 9th grade. sophomore is second year of high school, or 10th grade. junior is third, or 11th grade. and senior is fourth, or 12th grade)

my mom was always supporting me through all of this. she accepted me with everything that was going on in my life, whether it's religion or sexuality or disability or gender. she was the first family member I came out as trans to. and she has been nothing but supportive and loving for my entire life. she like, the exact opposite of a conservative christian. she uses her religion and her faith to spread love, and not hate. and even though at this point I wasn't a christian, she still supported me because of her being raised as a catholic to love everyone. and she never forced me to go to church or change back to catholicism or anything. she let me do my own thing and supported everything I did.

anyway, I came out as trans during the middle of my junior year. I had just been through a rough breakup with a really nice guy, but he helped me figure out my gender shit and made me realize I could be whatever gender I wanted to be as long as I was happy. we stayed friends for a while after that. but he was a year older than me so we didn't really talk after he graduated. but he helped me realize I was trans. and now I started to feel better and more confident about myself. I made friends with a lot of people online. I specifically made efforts to make friends with all different types of people. I had always been a pretty liberal person and social justice advocate. but I wanted to try and learn more about the world beyond my very limited experience. and either by coincidence or fate, I ended up being friends with a lot of transgender Jews. I spent a lot of time learning about Judaism and what it ment to be Jewish. idk what it was, but I felt a really strong connection to my Jewish friends.

but anyway, I'm going through high school, in my senior year, while also taking night classes at community college. just going about life, taking sociology and psychology, while also being a social justice advocate online. when BOOM, pandemic. everything stopped. I graduated high school, but college switched to online and my grades tanked again. it was just like freshman year, except now I was paying nearly two thousand dollars a semester. so I quit. I would have became a total shut in if I hadn't met some really nice people who lived nearby. they helped me be more confident with my self image and personality. I went out more, safely of course because it was the pandemic. I decided I wasn't going to quit college, but just take a break until in person classes started again. I had a few jobs in retail and restaurants, which all absolutely sucked. and I spent a lot of time meditating and thinking to myself about philosophy. since I had a lot of free time, I read a lot. different religious texts and commentaries on those texts. I started to realize that I was religious, but I just didn't know how. I told my current philosophy to some of my friends, most of whom happened to be Jewish, and they said it sounded very similar to Judaism. so I looked into it. in fall of 2020, I reached out to a local rabbi, and told him I wanted to convert to Judaism. he denied me three times as per tradition, but finally said that if I wanted to be Jewish, I had to make sure it was the right religion for me. I had to study and ready and learn. converting is a long process, and usually takes years. I'm almost two and a half years into my conversion process. and from reading and talking with other Jewish people, I'm learning more every day. I've had times where I've doubted myself. where I felt like I had imposter syndrome, or like it wasn't my choice to convert. it's been hard sometimes. but I haven't given up. I'm staying with it because I truly love Judaism and Jewish people and traditions and culture and the thousands of different approaches to god and faith.

converting is gonna be different for everyone. but in general, it's not easy. and it's not supposed to be. you're not really supposed to convert out of Judaism. you can be a Jewish atheist. but once you're Jewish, you're intended to be Jewish for life. so all that time you spend studying and learning is supposed to make you ask yourself over and over and over again "are you sure". and every single time I've asked myself that question, the answer has always been "yes".

sorry this turned out to be more of a life story than a simple answer as to why I chose to convert. but there is no simple answer. I didn't just wake up one day and decide to be Jewish. it was a long process from the millions of decisions and choices by me and the people around me that lead me to where I am today. in religion, philosophy, art, and life in general, there are no such things as simple answers. so, find beauty in the complexity of the universe.

thank you, anon

[its-moopoint]

Was it shared ad nauseam? Maybe - but who the hell am I to judge? This line is the problem. No boundaries when they do what they do but claim victimhood which they ignore when the real victims are in their bullseye.

sgiandubh

Pretzel logic

I never liked funerals - who does? - and I have always tried to avoid them, under different pretexts. This is one of the moments we meet the Great Beyond and we are at our most vulnerable. It's only fair and it is not something to be taken lightly, ever.

August 10, 2022 happened a few days before I decided to give OL a try and by the time I landed in here, that YouTube live had already been taken offline, perhaps with good reason.

That people watched it should come as no surprise to anybody: it happens in all cultures and societies - Death fascinates us and makes us curious, even if it's a questionable, voyeuristic kind of curiosity. It was posted for everyone to see, on the biggest content streaming platform on planet Earth. It was posted in consideration of the ending peak moment of the COVID pandemic, to allow for more people to attend, with the family's prior consent. It was most probably shot from the organ balcony, at a respectful distance and I am being told the streaming was blurry: a good thing, if you ask me. People screeching for "more clarity" of those screenshots should, in my humble opinion, think twice: context and taboo and all that.

That people saw something bizarre in the front pew was unavoidable. That the said detail (Occam's Razor would help us conclude that ambiguous things are usually anything but...) was screenshot, edited and made its way in here and elsewhere - impossible to control. However, I have not read any disrespectful comments about the event. Nobody snarked. Nobody grinned. A hole in the plot was pointed out, adding to the whole array of inconsistencies and if I remember well, it was almost missed out entirely (a taboo is a taboo, after all) and started its career online only days after.

Was it shared ad nauseam? Maybe - but who the hell am I to judge? Again, not something you can control, unless you set yourself up as the Torquemadas of this fandom and slap everybody on the wrist with your twisted righteousness. When your people discuss the Data Lounge findings in great, lewd detail, that is called having fun and (I love that one, don't you?) gossiping, as if you were just talking about Miss Scarlett's new petticoat, not a man's reputation. When our people dare to post pictures from a public event, or published for public consumption, that is immediately taxed as being insane or snooping.

A neutral person venturing in here would call out the bias immediately. I call out your hypocrisy and have no problem doing it in writing. And I never peddled neutrality, in here: I simply peddled decency and I remind everyone I have probably never posted any pictures from August 10, 2022 (I will triple check later, but I am pretty sure I didn't). It is a personal choice and, as you know very well, I am not alone in the Shipper community. Far from it.

That you chose August 10 to post the largest, most consistent amount of content I have read on your blogs during the last six months, shows me once more what I already knew: you simply can't help yourself, can you? It's all about slap-a-shipper day, even if this community remained remarkably silent and collected, yesterday. Extremes exist, they are a fact of life: silencing them is useless and unproductive, at least as far as I am concerned.

You have once again showed me your true colors, Mordor. At the end of the day, you do not really have a problem with the pictures floating out there. What you do have a BIG problem with, is the person sitting in the front pew and you would go to great lengths - to any lengths, for that matter - to disguise it under a thick sanctimonious cloak of civic disgust. Your shrieks backfire: if anything, they confirm, not deny. And for the sake of politics, anything goes. It is, therefore, ironic, that in order to post your reasoning, you did look, in great detail and for a consistent amount of time, at the same exact screenshots and pictures you send to hell so gleefully.

Spare me the dramatics.

auburncurlslass

IMO, this one happening, that could not be controlled by anyone, anything disrupted the trajectory of the narrative.  The pendulum came back in full swing. Death is inevitable, all will eventually succumb to it's power.  The residual effects of this one event changed everything within both sides of the heavily divided fandom. I believe this side, my side, handled it with grace & integrity.  That cannot be said for the opposite side as they do not possess integrity.

myrthil23

“That you chose August 10 to post the largest, most consistent amount of content I have read on your blogs during the last six months, shows me once more what I already knew: you simply can't help yourself, can you? It's all about slap-a-shipper day, even if this community remained remarkably silent and collected, yesterday. Extremes exist, they are a fact of life: silencing them is useless and unproductive, at least as far as I am concerned.” They will all read (the poster and the rebloggers) this post and I sincerely hope that at least they will take on their hypocrisy, at least the smart and relatively balanced ones... I'm glad you're here and I salute the aplomb with which you write all this.

Oh boy. This one belongs to politics, thinking that because she chooses to post her posts as literature they gain weight... A+ for structure, Zero for content.

Funeral was live streamed for their own reasons, it's in poor taste to be sharing it's footage via screencaps but it's even more disgusting to take advantage of the morals of others people to touch that stuff and build a tale to share as canon all packed with lies, trusting that such morals would prevent other people to debunk.

No matter what the blurry pixelated stuff shows the real deal which was CB' s family all accounted for, her brother, real husband and kid included. It was streamed for their own reasons and with nothing to hide. You go to your shrink and explain that you know some famous dude donned a wig to sit front row with his secret spouse at her father's funeral while it was live streamed. Netflix is already asking for the rights price.

The only pretzel here is the design of your two neurons.

Taboos are London marathon pics and video of C and T. The ones that existed and your side tried to hide.

So yes everyday is slap a shipper day when reality keeps hitting you in the face with facts over and over again. I understand it must be frustrating.

[theageofthemovies]

PORCILE - (Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1969)

I (re)watched yesterday this harsh, uncomfortable, apparently cryptic semi-unknown, if great, philosophic movie and, after the end, I confirmed and heightened the judgment I stated many years ago: "Porcile" is the most sincere (and consequently: the most outrageous) among all the movies (better: artworks) of the great Italian literate and filmmaker."Porcile" is a poor film: it was shot in a month with a ridiculous budget and has been considered by decades a Pasolini's minor movie despite, at a closer look, it appears as one of his richest to the extent that it is capable to dissect at its limits the apparent contradiction of a modern thought (his) that, indeed, cannot actually exist without continuously confronting with an "archaic heritage" that saves that sense of "sacred" (the infinite, the entirety, the inner human nature) that is crucial and essential to the soul of a poet/phylosophe.One initial stone inscription makes clear the theme: "After well questioned our conscience, we have stated to devour you because of your disobedience». that is: we (the public opinion); you( Pasolini himself).The movie is made of two separate (but intersected) narrations; the first story, set in France in the XVIII century, tells of a young man (Jean-Pierre Léaud) who, neglecting the love offering of his promised wife (Anne Wiazemsky), refuses any social behavior and has shameful sexual intercourses with pigs... ; the second story takes place in the Middle Age in a wild, desolate, vulcanic land (actually the Mount Etna) and tells of the chief of a bunch of murderous outlaws (Pierre Clémenti) who kills his father and eats his flesh. Both these transgressive "counter-heroes" will end their life eaten by animals....The meaning of "Porcile" all relies in trasnsgression; it is committed to demonstrate the statement that "the saints, like the different, anticonformist and disobedient people, don't make the history but suffer it" (PPP), they act by and for themselves and, by their diversity, they are doomed to die as victims of their anti-conformism, of their never be lined up with the masses.Pasolini's merit stands in his will to share with his readers and his audience this suffered message, the only irrepressible way that could allow him to bear the weight of the many crusades brought against him without retreating on the easy aristocratic position of "artist disengaged from the world" (and this is a reason for which we should never cease to be grateful to him).Pasolini says; "... the film bears also a political meaning; its esplicit object is Germany (its historical situation) but the target is the ambiguous relation between the new and the old capitalism; Germany has only been chosen as it represents a borderline case. The implicit poliitical content of the movie is a desperate distrust in all historical societies, consequently the genre of it (if there is one) is: apocalyptic anarchy. Being "the sense" of my movie so atrocious and terrible I only could treat it: a) by a quasi-contemplative detachment; b) with humor».The meaning is clear: after the horrors of the recent history (Hitler's Germany) we have the social desolations of the new capitalism. Julian's starvation (Léaud) is the result of this dramatic passage and his sad end (to be eaten by the pigs) blatantly tells of the impossibility of adapting to a reality in which "everything" becomes conformism (to be a revolutionary included, how the last sequence demonstrates).Similarly touching is the end of the "cannibal" Clémenti  who, weaponed by his "apocalyptic anarchy" (and the resulting general contestation on an esistential plan), kicks, bites, beats whoever would submit him to a power that unavoidably would subjugate him. He enacts a man (or an idea), that is without pity just like those who would reduce him to a state of slavery (that he could never accept). His choice is so extreme that he prefers to move freely on the cold slopes of the Etna eating butterflies, snakes and human flesh, pushed from the instinctive pulse to live in contact with a sacred nature that has nothing of "moral".A unique movie, a deep reflection on the various ways to consider the human condition.

R.M.

[queenharumiura]

Just a thing I felt like writing on Haru and how she deals with some situations. Some chikan related bc idk. Don’t ask me why. I felt like thinking about it.

Haru Miura is a person who is friendly and enjoys making new friends. It was common to see her walking up to someone, striking a conversation, and then coming back with a new friend to invite over for tea.

You could say she’s very personable that way, but she was also quick to turn the moment someone’s actions don’t align with her moral standards. Quick to judge and even quicker to act. It was a bad habit of hers, she admits, but it’s hard to control when she’s impulsive in general.

The one thing that people who knew her well understood, was the fact that Haru was situationally brave. She was pretty cowardly and she was quick to run, but if she felt she had to protect someone, she could stand her ground. In the face of danger, Haru was usually quick to act- violently, at that.

When alone, it truly depended on whether or not the other person was so ‘weird’ they creeped her out, turning all her fight instinct into flight.

Really, the difference in how she reacts can be summed into:

Was she alone?

Was there someone she felt she had to protect?

Was she dealing with a pervert?

Is this a wild weirdo encounter?

It’s never come down to it yet, but if push ever came to shove, Haru could take someone’s life if Lambo or I-pin were in danger. She’d obviously not want to kill someone, but if it were between becoming a criminal and regretting allowing harm to come to Lambo or I-pin, there was no time for hesitation on her end.

If anyone was bullying Lambo, she’d get in between him and the assailant, and have some choice words to exchange before ushering the cow-child away. It mattered not who she was faced up against, she would stand firm in front of the adored cow-child.

Would she be scared? Of course. Would that stop her from protecting a child? Absolutely not.

Haru was that friend who could flag down a waitress, ‘My friend asked for no pickles, please correct this’ for others, but would simply accept the pickles for herself.

Did she extend her protection only towards those she knew? No, anyone who was in need of help was going to have her attention. Haru Miura was unable to ignore a person in need, especially the weak.

Was she above using whatever means necessary to deal with any problem? Nope~!

-

[scene]

While walking was her preferred way of getting from point A to B, sometimes the final destination was a bit too far for such, so she’d have to resort to a bus or a subway. Listening to music as she reads a book in hand, she was largely ignoring the world around her.

Still, she can notice out of the corner of her eye two women anxiously looking over and whispering among themselves. Pulling out one earbud from her ears, she listens in and realizes that they’re talking about a ‘chikan’ on the bus.

Who had the nerve to harass a girl in broad daylight on a public transport bus? Unfortunately, many chikan had the audacity to do such a thing. Taking pictures up skirts, groping, and many other dastardly acts weren’t uncommon in Japan. Why else did the term ‘chikan’ exist if it weren’t such a pervasive issue women had to face?

Filled with righteous fury, Haru stowed away her items, to fish out her phone. She starts to maneuver through the crowded bus, stopping before the older man that was harassing a poor girl, too frightened and embarrassed to speak or act up against this vile man.

Phone out, she snaps a picture of his face.

While punching or slapping was her preferred method, it was harder to accomplish in a crowded train. Instead, she opts for slamming her foot atop the man’s foot, putting her entire weight into it. Before he could question her about the photo she’d taken, she swiftly slams her foot down.

She’s efficient, you see.

The man kneels down to nurse his foot, and she bends at the knees to be at eye level. “Oi, Ojii-san. I know at least 2 dozen ways to get rid of an old man like you and ensure that no one can ever find you. Don’t you know that all the local Gumi in this area hate cowardly chikan? Luckily for you, I’m in contact with some.” She’d wave her phone in her hand jovially, but the tone in her voice was anything but.

It’s deep and without any of her characteristic bounce. She’s mad. Mad-mad, as they say.

“If you don’t want to get in trouble with any of the local yakuza, I suggest you behave better- fast.”

With that threat issued, she’d stand to address the poor girl, ushering her away from the old man. Her cheerful and bright countenance returns.

“Mou~ I was looking everywhere for you~ Hm? Ohhhh he said that he ate something weird this morning. Let’s go before he starts losing his innards.”

She wouldn’t leave this girl’s side until she was calm. She would assure her that the man was going to suffer for what he’s done. How? Oh—she had her ways, don’t worry.

[end scene]

--

Was she bluffing, you ask? You think the local yazuka would take well to some foreign power making waves in Japan? Perish the thought. Of course the Vongola and the Yakuza came in contact with one another.

Who was Haru if not a person who was well-adept at networking with others to be able to have multiple contacts with all kinds of people? Her contacts didn’t just stop at other mafia-members and Yakuza. She also knew real-estate agents, professors at renown universities, and more.

Sending the man over to the police was an option, but Haru preferred a more thorough approach. Let the man never dare to even think of another school-girl ever again now that he was scum of the earth to those of the underground.

This girl was not one to anger as she had no qualms over using her connections to punish literal trash.

Of course, if the sap had targeted her instead, it would’ve been a swift retribution.

--

[Scene]

“!” Did she just--?

No- surely on this crowded bus, someone’s bag had just bumped into her? Senses on high alert, she waits before she’s absolutely sure what she feels is a hand before she whirls around and slams her elbow into his cranium.

“Did you think we Midori girls are easy targets? Too demure to respond?” You don’t even know the half of it.

You think that being one of Kyoko’s best friends mean that Ryohei wouldn’t have taught her a few things? That Gokudera didn’t have an influence on her?

Was she embarrassed to be making a scene? Yes, but in the face of knowing that she couldn’t have been this man’s first victim, she’s filled with rage.

The local Namahage-enthusiast was angry enough that when she swung with her elbow, she was sure to apply lightning flames to make a harder impact.

This girl doesn’t hold back her punches, so watch out Dr.Shamal. She’s coming for your brand if you mess with her!

“I suggest you wait with me for the police to arrive or I promise you’ll regret it.” Haru had little to no patience with keeping things on the down low when she was the victim and she worried there would be future victims.

[End Scene]

Sometimes, she was too tired to deal with things. If any of the guys were around, sometimes she would just tap out and send them over instead to deal with it.

It was one of those perks of being friends.

Haru did her own fair share of supporting them, so the least they could do is help her on occasion with her ‘worries.’

It usually went down in a similar fashion of Haru being harassed by someone and she spots someone from a distance and she calls their attention by first name.

Rarely ever referring to anyone by first name, it is a quick way to get anyone’s attention. Oh, but Ryohei was ‘Onii-san,’ mind you. He reacted to that faster than he did ‘Ryohei’.

Out of everyone, he was the most reliable. You may not even get to ‘san’ before he rushes over and deals with the situation for her.

There have been times she’d rush over and motion with a head jerk towards the perp. If they don’t deal with it, she will, and it won’t be pretty.

You know, as a Yamato Nadeshiko in training, it was better if she had someone else deal with the situation for her, and she knew her friends wouldn’t mind helping her get rid of any creeps harassing her. Some being more than glad to rid the streets of a few weirdos.

Still, there were times where she wanted to deal with the situation herself.

One time, she’d led a group into an alleyway and zapped them all with her lightning flames.

Did she get scolded for such a showy thing? No comment.

Would she do it again? She has the right to remain silent.

“Oh- there it is.” She saw the sign posted outside the building that informed the public that a restaurant was reserved for an important meeting with the Shirayuri-gumi. Today, they had a meeting with the Vongola on something, and she was arriving separate from the rest as she had an errand to run right before the meeting.

“Hey cutie, where are you headed?”

Ah, it should be a crime to be so cute. What a sinner, she was.

Noting the time on her phone, she didn’t have the time nor patience to have this be prolonged. “You can’t handle someone like me. Leave.”

“Ohhh~ Feisty, I like that. Don’t worry about that none, I can handle anything you can dish out.”

Haru gives the man a dubious look.

This guy was really trying to bite off more than he could chew. No matter how she looked at him, he was a regular civilian. There was no way he could stand tall and proud like a peacock when face to face with either the Yakuza or the Mafia.

“For your sake, I suggest you leave before it’s too late.”

“Ooooo how scary, look at the kitten hissing.”

If there was one thing she hated being called, it was kitten, because it reminded her of a certain pervy doctor.

About to say something, someone interrupts her.

“Haru-san? Are you by yourself? Who is this?” A woman dressed in a dark blue with white lily accents Kimono approaches her. By her side was a tiny child, who Haru knew to be Akihiko, the son and future head of the Shirayuri-gumi.

One could say she was a fitting image of a traditional Yamato Nadeshiko if not for the piercing cold gaze she had, fit for an Anee-san of the Yakuza. Being the wise of the Kumicho was no laughing matter, she held a high position within the gumi when respect was concerned.

By her side was the heir, the next in line for Kumicho. In essence, a ‘waka-dana’.

Being great with kids, Haru got along well with the child, and so she sometimes attended the meetings to help attend to the child.

“Oh, Shirayumi-gumi no Anee-san, you’re here with waka-dana.” She waves at the little boy, who shyly waves back. “I’m arriving separately from the others today. This person… ” Was a pest?

Was a person who was trying to bite off more than he could chew?

An idiot who is about to faint from fright over realizing that the woman he was trying to pick up had ties with the Yakuza?

How to answer her question?

“Is this guy bothering you, Haru?” An irritated voice asks.

Ah, the Vongola 10th generation have arrived and they’d noticed that Haru was with company. They recognized 2 out of the 3 people with Haru.

“Hahi? Oh~ It’s no problem at all, this man was just lost and confused, ne?” Be grateful that she was giving you an out.

The man quickly runs away like a dog with his tail permanently attached between his legs.

“Now, let’s go, shall we? Akihiko-san has grown so much since the last i’ve seen him. Before we know it, he’ll grow up to be a great waka for the Shirayumi-gumi.” Haru strikes a conversation with the Anee-san of the Gumi, effortlessly allowing the child to take hold of her hand without question.