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anexplosionofchaos · 5 months ago

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no matter how hard i try i will never. ever. move on from the dsmp.

literally you wont get it unless you were as obsessed as i was back then- the fandom, the lore, it was genuinely my roman empire likeee

it feels weird trying to even go back since im so removed from it now, but honestly even just having those memories is enough. like i dont know how to explain it but it was like.... probably how i first really really truly got into fandoms and fandom culture.. how i learned and saw soo much cool media and people... ohh dont even i still have the lmanburg flag hanging up in my room i fear i will never take it down 😭god c!dream was my first ever obsession character along with discduo and i fear im not recovering from that hyperfixation... (i still sometimes yap to myself about them when i reread old fics... dont tell anyone yall)

even if like some creators are weirdos now and some kind of sit in the "im not sure so im not going to interact" and most of the drama and hatred has turned me off from trying to enjoy any of the creators in the present- dsmp is probably the happiest and most fufillied ive ever been in a fandom!! maybe not happiest buuut i think you get what i mean lol

honestly my only wish is for the ending of it to have been more happy and the creators remain (atleast) civil afterward and not be... um! but yeah lol thats my rant

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roach-works · 20 days ago

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im working on a silly thought right now but: it deeply sucks that advertising is annoying, irresistible, and omnipresent, and we all just have to cope with that constant ongoing sandpaper irritation. meanwhile there's less and less grace for humans that are annoying, which is something that every human is at some point, and some of us are really annoying for most of our lives.

like. everyone has to be beautiful and graceful. everyone has to be sensitive and kind. or else they have to be apologetically disabled: autistic, bipolar, deaf. they have to be so so sorry for inconveniencing you, cutting you off, weirding you out, holding you up, annoying you. they have to take responsibility, they have to listen and learn, they have to make it up to you.

i don't think i want to live in a world where advertisers get to crawl into my eyeballs and earholes as often as they possibly can, but if im abrasive and clueless to someone i better be a card carrying member of the Broken Brain Club or prepared to grovel.

#SO MUCH FRIEND GROUP DRAMA I HAVE EVER SEEN #comes down to two basic facts: people are so fucking annoying #and people react to being annoyed like it's a federal fucking issue #'oh well hazel just has a terrible vibe'#hazel has a laugh like a dead seal getting kicked down stairs #and YOU need to square your own sense of virtue and charity with the fact that you want to mail her to antarctica in a box with no air hole #maybe just acknowledge that good people can still irritate the shit out of you sometimes and you'll feel better!!!

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elysiality · 6 months ago

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real footage of me watching everyone in the AAA fandom use 'older woman' and/or 'older witch' to describe Agatha during her interactions with Rio in canon universe Agathario fics like Rio isn't literal Death and as old as the universe itself while Agatha is a mere 352 years compared to her and hence younger than her (thus not being the 'older woman' between the two of them):

#medialiteracyisDEAD

#what's airi thinking? ⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆#agatha all along #agatha harkness #agathario #rio vidal #agatha x rio #agatha all along spoilers #agatha harkness x rio vidal #guys please #don't forget their age gap i beg #not to mention that Rio is canonically an inch or so taller than Agatha too #agatha harkness has mommy issues #ofc she fell for death #RIO IS OLDER !!#lady death #like pleaaasee #my bbg rio did not just spawn out of thin air after agatha was born #death has always existed #she probably just made herself a corporeal form for agatha and thats about it #but she's still older !!#just because Kathryn Hahn is older than Aubrey Plaza doesn't mean Agatha is older than Rio 😭#'rio put her hand on the older woman's face' shit man #didn't realize death came into existence because of agatha #id say this is a prime example of people losing media literacy #but who tf thinks a 352 yr old witch is older than someone whos been around since the start of time??#she wanted an older woman #let her have her older woman 😭

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khaoala · 1 year ago

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Or, everyone loves to tease FirstKhaotung, but P'Leo might be the one who loves it the most.

Alternatively, what is the joke we'll never know about?

Also, why was Satang the first to react, and also the loudest?

So many questions.

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spearxwind · 5 months ago

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I just wanna say, thank you for sharing your art and ocs with us. I know you've struggled with art theft and rude behavior and burnout and all kinds of things, but its been such a source of joy and inspiration all these years to see your insane creativity and talent and personal expression. So thank you--thank you for risking all that unpleasantness to share the things you love. Admittedly I do kind of miss the old days of seeing your characters and art all the time, but I absolutely understand and respect your moving on. I'm glad you're living your life, and its still a joy to see the things you make, even if its not as often. Anyway happy new year, I hope this year brings you tons of kindness, fulfillment, and happiness.

Ah gosh that means so much to me, thank you dearly!

I genuinely love sharing my stuff a lot, and I love interacting with you guys and talking about what I make :) It makes me really happy that so many of you enjoy what I do! It's honestly a huge reason as to why I keep doing it.

And don't misunderstand me, my lack of art recently isn't really due to me moving on or not wanting to share more or sharing less (though I don't share as much lore as I used to due to the theft). But mostly it's because I have much more going on irl these days. I have a much bigger demand for my time irl with my partner, friends, work, family and all of that. I draw and chill when I can, I would do a lot more if I had the time haha

I also miss when I used to draw and share a lot, but a part of why I did so much of that was because I did not have many friends or much going on at all, and I had few other hobbies than "make art" so I just did that for much more time than what was probably healthy ^^; it's less about moving on from drawing and more about being able to spend time being a proper person now. Also some of the stuff i work with on my own time are things that take a lot of time to finish so it looks like I do a lot less

Though maybe one day I can finally dedicate myself full-time to art (in a healthier way) and just let loose! I hope you will stick around for that :]

Thank you for taking the time to write this out, it genuinely means a lot to me! I hope you have a fantastic new year too, and again, definitely hope you will stick around to see all the cool stuff I have cooking >:)

#ask #anon #part of growing up is just realizing theres a lot more to do than the one thing you thought was your only talent #i adore drawing its a part of me but its no longer ALL of me! and that has freed me to explore a lot of things more #im experimenting more with art #im having so much fun with the new stuff im making #a breath of fresh air for sure #i got a little sidetracked answering you sorryyy but i really want people to understand that i dont draw less because ive lost interest #in either my art or my characters. i love all of them like you wouldnt believe. i couldnt put it into words if i tried writing for a #thousand years and then for another thousand #i just lack the time and often energy to whip out shit like i used to. just means what i do now is a lot better quality though !#and you can rest assured whatever I draw is something i REALLY wanted to draw #ARG IM GETTING SIDETRACKED AGAIN

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ilovetv99 · 4 months ago

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thinking about ch0mpkin's evil evbo post (evilbo, if you will) and going "How can I align this with My Interests (the axes)" and the answer is Very easily actually

#thoughts in tags.....#when the cookie crumbles #pciv #pvp civilization #you know. evbo leaving behind everything he knows for his friend and going along with The Plan #constantly telling himself its for the greater good its for the greater good #but the longer he goes on the worse it gets #and both tabi and clown force him to stop diagetically monologuing somehow because otherwise he'll blow their cover #so he just gets quieter and quieter and withdraws more and more #to the point where even tabi is thinking like “damn maybe i Should've killed him in sword civ...” but he's here now #another thing is i think evbo would 100% buy and sneak another video journal machine out and when tabi finds out she Flips Her Lid #clown is less concerned because he wasn't With them so he doesn't know like tabi does that he spends So Much Time On This Shit #not knowing that (like minute said) video journaling is the biggest reason evbo is able to take in so much new info and maintain himself #and if they straight up take it away from him he's going to get Even Worse #i think clown doesn't see it as much of an issue despite tabi's major objections because he'd literally be talking about their plan On Air #and that tape goes somewhere and is Seen by someone (plus if someone else sees their cover is gone cuz video journals are sword only)#but in his eyes that means the only people who will ever see it are the diamond swords in their ivory tower who can't leave anyways #so why worry? if anything it shows them what they're (the axes) doing to their (the swords) little golden boy and they can't stop it #another thing i thought about is that they would definitely hold killing evbo over his head like. Constantly #and evbo's fear of dying isn't the same because he never died to tabi's axe so he doesn't know zam is waiting for him (which is also funny)#so instead it takes a spin of tabi saying “ill kill you and let you respawn in sword civ and you'll stay there with your regrets”#because even if zam Wasn't still waiting for him he kinda ditched the diamond swords so uh... kinda lost your sense of kinship there #a-NOTHER point of interest: guardfriend #since guards can access all civilizations they'd definitely want to take advantage of his connections and relation with evbo #especially since unless evbo spills the beans he most likely wouldn't know the eternal sword was taken and tabi is the one who took it #let alone that she (and clown by extension‚ but to throw off suspicion he doesn't show up around guard) is a natural born axr #so they can defo use what trust those two have to get places easier #but if he ends up getting in the way... [makes a chopping gesture across my throat]#could even do it in Front of evbo as an example of what happens to those who stand between them and their mission #holy shit this is the first time ive ever hit 30 tags. wtf

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cainsgibsongirl · 10 months ago

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said this before but being bad at things will always be soooo endearing and beautiful and whimsical To Me like gosh you're so bad at this thing you're learning for the first time what a wonder!! what a curious individual with a lust for life you are what a lust for life!!!!! and if this isn't your first time and yet you're still bad at it how lovely too! your enjoyment doesn't come from being the best or even being good but just the participation of such a thing!!!!?!??? what a fucking lust for fucking life!

#said this before i mean on my blog that was deactivated and i remember getting vv happy anytime someone rbed it bc i always like #having this .. sort of thought i guess associated with me in a way does that make sense ajgxjg like i just loved that people connected with #something i believe in so so so deeply and feel the need to utter almost ever couple weeks #i remember playing uke for a friend once before and she was wincing as i played the chords and just that memory is so funny to me!!#messing about with an instrument is so silly and fun i didn't really care yo learn it that well at the time but i can play a good few thirty #songs now so !!!! and even so like again im not talking about being bad bc you're a beginner i just mean #being shit at stuff is fucking fun!! its a blast!!! wtvr one time i was playing tiny table air hockey with my friends and on the first try #i threw the pusher clean off the table and it flew across the room and it was the funniest shit ever moral of the story is BE BAD!!#AT THINGS!!!!!!! i promise you i promise you WILL get a kick out of fucking up !

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puppmeo · 1 year ago

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Nobody is required to explain their personal relationship with their identity with you. I, however, will talk nonstop if given the chance and will give you a wildly different answer every time

#my relationship with myself and my identity and the world around me is constantly changing and evolving. if you asked me to explain my #identity this morning i would've given you a different answer than i'd give you if you asked me right now #because throughout the day i considered myself differently and had the chance to think more on it #identity doesn't have to be a rigid blade you carry to keep yourself safe. identity can be something as simple as a flowy shirt you like or #a cup you're drinking your favorite beverage out of. on the other hand #identity IS rigid for some people. and that's also okay. but we're talking about genderfuck folks and all the cool shit they're doin #i lost the plot writing these notes ik air drying in my bathroom after my shower (this too is gender)#queer #lgbt #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #queer community #lesbian #he/him lesbian #neopronouns #butch lesbian #genderqueer #gender nonconforming #genderfuck #trans #transgender #uhh.#inane identity ramblings #new gender tag

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glitchfang · 1 month ago

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i should rewatch SU to get an adult lens on it after (unfortunately) getting entrenched in critical discourse when i was young. but also do i really Want To when i'm not really even all that into kids cartoons anymore

#current standing is that there was a convo to be had about intersectionality with race and lgbt identities there #and people are being kinda disingenuous when they say that everyone was overreacting over that and just hated how gay the show was #(though im also guilty of saying stupid shit about this show. i was 16 once im sorry)#but also people got so nitpicky that they lost the plot on all that and got angry about. colors. how air works on HW. etc.#or they just said super out of pocket shit like ''pearl is a child murderer and a rapist'' like. ok reel it in buddy #but also. idk its just exhausting to think about now. i feel like if i revisited the show id just feel tired #i feel tired just making this post actually. ok im done now #echoed voice

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torchickentacos · 4 months ago

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The pokemon anime subreddit fascinates and frustrates me on equally deep levels

#smiling and blinking innocently. long tags ahead :) being normal :)🌸☀️☘️✌️💐#i'm such a 'minding my own business' person in fandom. i feel like my usual reaction to seeing takes I disagree with is #'well. people probably hate some of my takes so whatever'. perhaps even the ones i'm about to share #but. man.#it's like a portal to 2010 forum discourse but goh and serena are there this time.#deeply fascinated by the repetition of old ship wars too????#what do you mean we're still having legitimate 'but drew and gary are mean' discourse 😭#i mean by all means they should keep arguing because mostly i'm just glad that the wider pokeani sphere remembers drew at all #but that being said i wonder what kind of rivalry these people would have wanted instead?????#because there's other rivalries we could point to where they weren't air-quotes 'mean'. but we have those and people ignore them lol #because they're-imo- usually less engaging and dynamic. except for dawn and zoey who have never done anything wrong in their lives.#like we COULD give everyone the supportive happy rival experience a la may and grace or whatever but that's just not the SAME #and augh. taking psychic damage and trying to be normal but that's the THINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OKAY #are Gary and Drew needlessly mean in early episodes? yeah lmao. i'm not arguing on that. they suck ❤️ completely insufferable.#b u t #there's that line. right. the line where it slowly slides into backhanded compliments too and giving that motivation-#-for their rival to work harder and the fact that they want that reaction and attention from this one person so badly.#like shipping aside I really do think that the friction of the Gary/Ash and May/Drew rivalries is what made them GOOD.#and yeah sometimes it was out of line but also that's just how the dub is as a whole tbh. they just said whatever shit they could 😭#AND BACK TO THE BEING NICE THING. Ash and May both got growth from their nice rivalries but not what they got from Gary/Drew.#it's different types of growth and lessons and they needed both kinds from different sources. I'd argue the rougher rivalries taught more?#regardless of your opinions on the characters themselves you can't deny that Gary/Paul/Drew/Harley/etc- the rivals that pushed A&M-#had the biggest impact on their growth over the rivals that didn't push. note that 'friends' and 'rivals' are different categories for this #I'm pitting. like. gary and paul against morrison and ritchie and not against dawn or pikachu or brock or whatever. different convo.#but it was growth out of spite to be better than the jackass rival at first and then that CHANGED INTO MUTUAL BETTERMENT #AND WANTING TO BE BETTER ✨FOR✨ AND ✨WITH✨ THEIR RIVAL. OKAY. (re: gary and drew specifically)#and as a result of all of this. drew and gary did get better to be fair!#well gary did kind of just start picking on goh instead gjkhsdkfj (joking) but ykwim.#DAMN IT I'M OUT OF ROOM AND IT DELETED A WHOLE ASS PART 2 THAT I HAD TYPED OUT #fine. i'll make this its own post at some point because i yearn to yap on about it

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thechosenkwan · 2 days ago

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I view anybody who is ≥2 years younger than me as my little sibling It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from or anything I am now your older brother. Sorry. It's just how life works

#There's so many weird incest-brained people on here so let me reiterate that I mean this in like. A way of genuine siblings.#No weird shit alright I hate that you can't say things like “I see you as my sibling” without weirdos appearing out of thin air like #“heh... really? 😏” Like. Go back to your mother's basement guy This is not about you #thechosenkwan classic

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dailykugisaki · 1 year ago

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Day 124 | id in alt

A little bit of a rematch and my opinion on why you never see Mai's six(seven) shooter again.

Read from left to right.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #zenin mai #i was on that crazy shit when coloring thay in-between panel #i just wanted to make it look like it was two seconds short of being a comically fucked impact frame #we all know mai was tweaking the fuck out when her gun shattered it took her half a business day to walk up to Kugisaki and try to shake he #they hate eachother they do violence #Kugisaki had another nail in her hand but its blocked off by the thick ass borders lmao #writing for Kugisaki is like breathing air #IM FUCKING SERIOUS BTW IF I SEE ANU SLANDER ON KUGISAKI I WILL FUCKING CAST 1000 #1000 PLAUGES UPON YE I WILL NOT TOLERATE SLANDER ON MY GIRLS NAME FRRR #Plus tbh. be creative with it. Jjk fans regurgitate the same shit over and over snd most of the ones i see cant comprehend shit unless #unless its shoved down their throats and even then its like a 50/50 #anyway i just love thinking Kugisaki always just bites back shes built like that built aggressive #bear agenda Kugisaki is still hear yall trust trust #also now i low-key have a simmering animosity towards Fushiguro. some people just make me mad. its almost getting as bad as the #the hate i have for yuta. i will not explain myself and i WILL mind my own Business #i will draw yuta for other folks tho #its whatever your honor #maybe my sodium intake is catching up with me #the lizard comment low-key stems from the fact i aggressively called the queen of England a biped lizard #i dont fade into weird political theories but it was kinfa funny to me #ive been thinking about making an au where Kugisaki is a robot. trust i can make anything work #i will not elaborate

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moe-broey · 11 months ago

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"I would hate to be stuck at a family dinner with them (Alfonse and Sharena's Parents)" -- god wait new hell scenario just dropped. Modern AU I fucking guess there's no way it translates otherwise --

But like. Alfonse is the type of guy you could bring home to your parents and they would adore him. They would be soooo proud of You (somehow) for netting such a Good Guy. And if you're Moe, they might somehow be thinking This is what's going to fix you. Somehow. That you're finally back "on the right path", he's such a "Nice Young Man" (abundantly clear that they do not see his queerness At All, so he must not see You, and so you guys are magically gonna become heterosexual. Somehow. Or are already "functionally" het.)

And it would be a unique form of torture, but Alfonse could swing it. This is like his forté. He is SO good. At navigating Bullshit Situations, by bullshitting, himself. I think he would also subtly but Very Clearly be on your side, if any Loaded Fucking Stupid Ass Remarks are made -- enough to say "Hey, I see my partner exactly as they are, and I like them for that", but not so much that he's stirring the pot. He is threading the social situation needle. His entire life, he's been training for this.

Meanwhile. Moe. Oh god. Moe is NOT someone you bring home to your parents. Unless if they're REALLY fucking chill and are already okay with a million fucking things prior. And. Moe. Is NOT. Someone you bring home to Gustav, when you are Alfonse.

#moe tag #LIKE..... moe is on its best behavior but it is so much worse at bullshitting than alfonse is. and it Shows #but also just. broadly gestering at all of moe. that thing is a 'bad influence' FOR fucking sure.#also not to air out my own shit (even though. i kind of do. a lot.) but like. this is one of many reasons #i just... don't do romantic relationships. for Reasons i am still tied to my family. i try my best to make it work.#but i don't want anyone to have to be subjected to that. it's my mess.#and.. if it isn't obvious lmfao... i have my own baggage about it. which i also don't want to subject anyone to.#there are easier people out there.#back on topic though! i think canon kiran could swing it. it MAY be an agonizing situation #but i feel like kiran is on a similar level to alfonse bullshitting wise. and even if they're off-putting #kiran is REALLY good. at being an Everyman. and customer service voice potentially.#moe..... is really not good at that!!!!!!! LMFAOOOO

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ritzcuit · 9 days ago

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ill always insist that the "just bc it's (il)legal doesnt mean its (im)moral" rule applies to like. teens looking at pornography. especially when it comes to callout culture bc you have teenagers accusing other teenagers of doing something horrible just bc they read smut or looked at furry porn or whatever. because it's illegal so it must be a bad thing right?! GIRL NO ITS LITERALLY NORMAL 😭😭 the dangerous person is YOU 🫵airing out other ppls business to god and everyone

Like how people call big mouth child pornography bc it talks about puberty and sexuality and all this shit. it's insane to me. dude teenagers are hormonal monsters they are GOING to get into this shit and you're not doing a heckin leftism x3 by acting as if anyone who talks about this is a groomer

the only thing big mouth did wrong was be the ugliest fucking show in the world

#AAAAARRRGHHHHH #ofc if youre an adult dont like share smut to children on purpose!#and if youre a teen you have to know how to lurk and view shit on anonymous accounts and not contact people and you know. all this shit #im specifically talking abt when ppl air out each others business like 'um oomf is 16 and read smut on ao3' like oh my god ... 😭

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gemininomen0n · 29 days ago

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my doctor told me to get stable housing and a psych bc she hates me… what if i just ask for lexapro extra nicely and cry more like will u just give it to me plsssssz

#she told me to leave my house more too like UGH why #i want to rot let me be #why can i not rot and be mentally well at the same time why must the fresh air help #anyway #she also said to like help people more to see if it makes me feel better to like Do Good #so ig i’ll help my sister move even tho everyone there bugs the shit out of me #anyway.. i’m gonna be mentally well soon i swear to goddddddd i will write i will be HEALEDDDDDDDD #io.txt

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kansasjustgotgayer · 2 months ago

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I don’t think I have ever felt so horrifically burned out

#i also literally CANT take time off of work #the other 2 people on my team BOTH have personal emergencies theyve had to attend to for weeks #so theres steadily more and more on my plate #and i have a demand to perform that is so so high right now #and i just cant keep up with it #its like i get one okay week and then another week that feels like someone pulling a rusty plow through my chest #i cant do this without the part of my brain waking up that wants to stop existing altogether #the same amount of work wouldnt be so bad if i didnt just feel *so* unsupported #theres a reason I don’t lead teams man!#its because i cant do that shit!#not alone!!#i want to kms when that happens! not a joke! its practically on my schedule now!#also i dont like my new therapist! he has a vibe of being confused that i cant manage myself. also not understanding my problem with weed.#idk its just not helpful when you have to repeatedly explain uh yeah man this is reason why i did drug this is what it does to me afterward #yeah i still crave it a great deal and no! that isnt logical good job you found where the problem lies #now can you help me solve it?#no? you only have platitudes and advice about building a routine? great thanks man super helpful #im definitely cured now and not just teetering on the edge of relapsing a fifth time #im gonna cancel with him maybe. see if i cant find another therapist who actually knows shit about drug use from a psychiatric perspective #i have an appointment with a med management psychiatrist who I’m hoping can get me on a good antidepressant/anxiety medication #and a week and a half after that i FINALLY have my top surgery consultation #and after that I’ll find out if its remotely possible to afford it. if it does end up being 20k i dont know what I’ll do. theres no way.#anyway im being held together by cotton candy and baby? i smell rain in the air

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