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cosmique-oddity · 4 months ago

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Cosmos and Soundwave Story Line

Made with the precious help of my mutuals @gravedwe11er and @polarpasteque

Because we thought maybe the Mecha Universe lacked a bit of a space Nerd :)

Based of @keferon ‘s AU

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It felt like a rainy day, when the skies cry and you decide to stay at home, watching the weather from a point where it doesnt affect you. Intensitive at even one single drop, usually, you take a blanket and watch at these amount of water, crashing on everything. Set the world all grey.

Well space was just far bigger. Far lonelier and, as a matter of fact....just more far. He watched the little blue planet, with his white volutes the day and all the littles spotlights at night, mimicking the stars all around. Even the Black void of space was captiving, far deeper than all kind of Earth's deepest oceans. We could say....it felt like the little planet was slowly swallowed by darkness.

Cosmos understood why a lot of astronaut came back to Earth and didnt care a lot about Earth matters. How could you pay any attention at some human conflict when the space was so much bigger than human's hybris ?

He shared that opinion. When he made his first trip to the outer space, Cosmos couldnt stop himself but admire the little details, even the more basic ones ever to space life. He was almost distracted from his original mission but, happily, the man was good at multitasking.

Floating like that, in the Hermes I Station, he knew he wouldnt want to return in Earth. Ever.

And while he was gazing at the immensity of the greater dark, he didnt realized how he was trapping himself, definitely, on what he was now calling 'his great loneliness'.

Not that it was any different than on Earth, he always was that silent man, that clever and kind and courageous man. Everyone of his colleague knew to call him if they needed something.

"Call Cosmos, the one with stars and space shuttles on his desk, he is very strong, he can carry that".

He didnt even know when he became 'Cosmos'. He was useful. Everyone knew to call him for help, but the thing was...nobody really knew him for himself. He was Cosmos for everyone because that was the only distinct thing the other could tell about him. He was obsessed with the stars. Pretty average among training astronauts ? Maybe, but Cosmos physically yearned for space and stars. Everything was about that. Escaping Earth. Setting himself on a tiny space box and sort of leave this physical realm. Be among his Kind, the cosmos.

Now, among the stars, he was feeling it. The loneliness. Wasnt that different from before, but maybe more hopeless. He talked with people, yep, everyday. His Job was very important, using all the high tech tool he has at his disposal to find the Kaijus, the fastest possible, and warn the Kaiju's Extermination Organisation. He saved lifes. And on the same side, was trying to intercept any extra terrestrial communication, from Kaijus, to find something, anything that could slow their obliteration.

Cosmos was aware of their war and how they were losing it. But everything was so far in space...the program that choosed to isolate him on that tiny flying box at the edges of their gravity force and Earth's magnetical shield also prevented him from War's horrors. He didnt saw any horrible things he knew were happening. He know it, saw it on internet.

He sighed. Mostly, his work was to watch the AI of his computer do the job alone, and assist any bug he saw.

Lets say they werent a lot of them, and oftenly he was just watching any serie his internet connexion allowed him to watch. Or searching for any weird frequencies on space.

Did he said he nammed the AI Doc ? And was talking to the thing, on top of that ! Doc wasnt a bad person. His answers were just a little bit expected and repetitive...

This day was one of those empty day. No scary alien was threatening humanity. Well, in the film he was watching, Alien, he couldnt say so. Did he mention he was a space nerd ? Even the movies he watched reflected that.

And because IRL Aliens were invading his homeland didnt mean he didnt enjoyed watching similar scenario in movie. He was far from everything. It wasnt affecting him at all, this war.

The latest human he spoke to was a Mech Pilot, codnammed Jazz he was charged to monitor through space. He a was solar person, loving music... Sympathetic, you couldnt possibly hate Jazz even if you knew him only three minutes. He was Talkative enquiring for the astronaut's mental health, alone out there. Cosmos has felt compassion for him. Someone threw him too, in the middle of the biggest knowhere existying. Except everyone knew Jazz and considered, and liked him, so it was certainly difficult for the pilot to leave. It wasnt for Cosmos.

Cosmos knew he was the last living person he saw. Because Jazz vanished. Probably died. And this human was the living being he grieved the most in his whole life. He cried alone in the space station when someone ordered him to stop searching for the silenced voice of Jazz.

They didnt send another man, and that, he was glad. He prefered having emotions toward an undying AI than realizing how many people died around him.

Cosmos was sat at his desk. Question of protocol, he wouldnt imagine not being here and missing a Kaiju and being responsible of Earth's destruction. Slowly dying from oxygene loss or being swallowed by some extraterrestrial giant jaw.....or being held hostage and having eggs layed on him.....

Maybe he should stop watching that movie.

Suddendly, an audio signal howled inside the etricate desk room of the station, Cosmos paused his movie and stood up, enthusiastic. That was the radio signal ! Jazz being finally alive ? An old broadcast lost in space ??

Radio news were the most interesting informations he could have !

All happily, he floated until having the complex system of communication in his hands. He could proudly affirming he knew everything about this machinery. That was his most loyal friend and good news annoncer. And he have been to silent since Jazz disappearance.

Except this time, the intercepted message wasnt translating in words, it wasnt an audio media. His device was displaying error messages. The thing was extremely weird looking. There was some space radio wave, in a frequence he never heard of before now.

Some weird alien wave ? He was displaying itself on repeat, as if it was enscribed into the FSK modulator (that one device used to send signals via frequency through very far locations). He took the headphone and tried to module the initial suit of waves into something audible. Changing the setting everytime he heard a risible ‘pfffuit’ or a deafening ‘SHRIEEEEEERK’. Maybe he would lose his hearing before translating the enigmatic sound wave. And people would be forced to send someone after him. Someone else, less used to loneliness would be where he had been. Wondering the same things. Sleeping in the same berth. Being disposable was always an unpleasant thought.

He slowed immensely the data of the enigmatic wave, and finally began to hear something approximatively human. English it was.

“.....Noise…..”.

An erailled, full of static voice could be heard, close to Cosmos's ear, and all it was saying was a statement about what he was hearing from the beginning of his manipulation. What the hell was this message ? It was coming from so far ? Was it alien ?? Did he finally succeed on the mission of finding another life form or even more interesting, secret Kaiju's comm line ??? Were the extraterrestrial sentient after all ???

He slowed even more and passed on another frequency. The message kept its static and emotionless deincarnated voice but the pronounciation was perfect and audible.

“Noise : excede the safe amount” “Sentient local specie : Endangered” “{QQZERRTEAAASS} : might and will hear”.

What was that ? The first alien broadcasted message in history and it was telling him to shut the fuck up ?

The unbearable piercing scriieech sound before ‘might and will hear’ was not rocket science to understand. That was probably speaking about the Kaijus. Kaiju and danger formed a loving couple from the past decade.

He took some time to mentally register the information before imobilizing. Eyes wide. Another signal was displaying. And its been on display for longer than he noticed. That was Kaiju's detection signal. His heart stopped for a while. Since how long had he been focused on the translation of the alien message ?

Floating as fast as he could. Wich must have been fun to watch if he wasnt alone, Cosmos crossed the distance between the modulator and the board computer for the second time of the day. Faster.

He read, panicking highly, all the pings across the screen and finally allowed his heart to slow down.

He was wrong. He was not that useful. Doc took care of the attack, he…..it warned the Extermination Organisation, and triangulated the position for the intel responsibles back on Earth.

The only thing it needed from Cosmos was writing a report and archive all the attack's metrics.

He sighed. Doc wouldve done very well without him, if he could automatize this part of the script, he would be officialy useless.

He nervously scratched his curly ginger hairs. He hadnt noticed how long they got (not that long but longer than the classic military haircut he adopted at the beginning of his formation). Useless ?

No. Cosmos had now the most important mission of humanity. He had to answer back to the alien form that wasnt (probably) a Kaiju. He worked on Doc's automatization for a while, remembering suddenly he had to eat at some point. Biting proudly in his sandwich, he told the AI.

“I cannot assist you anymore, old friend, i have my own mission to accomplish now, im going to talk to the Alien. And if i can convince him to help, then maybe i can save Earth !”.

A small little voice inside of him asked if he wasnt completely insane and delusionnal and wasnt inventing himself a mission to prove he wasnt worthless. He shut the voice. He was Cosmos ! He would talk to the alien. Peoples would remember him, they would remember because they would survive !

………………….

He spend weeks into trying to imitate the complex alien sound wave. This was so fast, so evoluated, and yet, the data was speaking a perfect english ? How was it possible ?

He frowned.

“Try again buddy, your Alien is going to be bored of you”.

He was calling the very small message he recieved ‘His Alien’ and wrote several copy of what it was saying on papiers and pinged these on the walls. Like a serial killer.

His own message, “Are you another sentient life form ? My name is Cosmos”

Wasnt definitely as professionnal as he would make himself believe, but he was trying to convert it to the same kind of radio wave as he recieved.

He has to remember how he translated the message in the first time.

And invert the protocol.

But his FSK modulator was simply not strong enough. He had to power down a few things. Useless things absolutely. And only for a few seconds. Nothing too dangerous about that. He definitely wasnt a small human in the middle of uncooperative environment.

The man inspired deeply and started his protocol, disabling the lights of the station, and preserving the oxygene system at all cost, along with the pressurisation system and basically all life preserving systems.

It worked. He had his message. He could send him via the FSK modulator.

He pressed the button and smiled deeply. He just send a message to an Alien !

“Hey doc ! Guess who established contact with the Alien ! Oh oh im going to ask him sooo many questions !”.

No answer. Cosmos remembered having to disable settings about conversation in order to efficiently make Doc replace his work.

He felt incredibly lonely.

“Im sorry i had to silence you Doc….”.

The signal of external message ! Again ! And that quickly ??? How.

Hyperventilating, Cosmos giggled to himself and turned to the modulator. The translating part was much easier now that he did it one time.

“Designation : Soundwave”. “Query to Cosmos : why answering ?” “Procedure of making further noise : susceptible to increase the attention of {QQZERRTEAAASS}”.

Oh, so his Alien was really a Soundwave. That was his name…. Funny.

The Kaijus again ? And this weird speaking manner again ? He thought for a couple of second about an adequate answer…But there werent any established protocol in case of contact with intelligent aliens. The Kaijus couldnt speak with them. They tried, so this meaned Cosmos was doing that freely. Nobody knew, nobody done that before. He was free to speak to the Alien as unprofesionnal as he wanted. He could tell his governement later.

“The Quiizertas ? Already noticed us. And attacked, more or less sound wont change anything about that”.

The answer was quicker again

“Prononciation of opposant : incorrect”. “Reading : /’kwin:n'te'zau:n/”. “Status planet ?”

The voice asked. And using the phonetical alphabet with that ?? Where did an Alien learned that ??

Cosmos bit his lips and answered, with an intensified apprehension.

“Planet uuuh. Under attack. Of the Quintessons” He translated with his own vocabulary, excited at the idea of inventing a new word. “Resisting with our technology but its barely enough. We need help”.

“Earth : very small” “efficiency of resistance : surprisingly high”. “Soundwave : cannot provide help at the moment. But i need to understand what is making your fight against quintessons fair”.

Cosmos blinked in front of his modulator.

“What ? Fair ??? We are being destroyed here and he call that a fair fight ?”. He paused. He had more conversation with this Soundwave than with any human being since Jazz. He might getting attached to the outer life form if he kept answering his question with fairness.

“Cosmos, stop. He could look like a pudding, or even not being material”.

Right. The name was Soundwave, the alien could be only made of sound waves.

He could also be a Xenomorph and lay eggs on him at the first occasion. The young astronaut didnt want to die with his stomach perforated !!! It looked very painful in the movies….

“Hoping its a E.T. kind of alien….”

“Are you hostile to my planet or kind ?”.

He shyly asked. Kai- Quintessons were enough trouble for his ‘small’ planet. Oh god it was his new favorite word ! He invented it. Well….technically he just translated with his own alphabet the phonetical alphabet Soundwave gave him. Hm.

His answer was quick.

“Your Specie : dont seems hostile towards our kind”. “Conflict : not wanted”.

Well that was positive at least.

“Is it some kind of space alliance ?”

The answer arrived later than the others times, and for a couple of stressful minutes, Cosmos feared that all of that was just a dream. Wich was possible, considering how he ate the whole pack of his last cookies last night. Maybe he was sick. At this moment, the answer arrived at his ears.

“Alliance : would benefit both of our planets. What is your status among your specie ?”.

Cosmos took some times to take off the headphone and start a gravity-free dance of victory.

“i….made….an alliance….with a fricking alien….!”

Or maybe the Alien would suck all of his internal organes out of his body and lay eggs on his brain. Maybe.

But, but maybe he would save all of them from the Kaiju, and they would befriend their specie ! Yeah. More probable. And Cosmos would be the first human to have made contact with them ! So they would like him. Soundwave might be as excited as himself was to discover another specie ! He would listen everything, because data about alien was a common source of enjoyment. He wouldnt even have to say something interesting !

Cosmos reached Doc's screen and yelled at him with a joyful tone.

“Doc ! Guess who just made the first pacific contact with another life form ! From another planet ! Perhaps even galaxy !”.

All full of wonders and lively, Cosmos answered Soundwave again.

What was the question ? Ah yes, “statut among specie”.

“I am erm…..Space Explorer. And Responsible of all communications to report and locate the Kai….Quintessons”.

He tried to make his post sound cool and not ‘im just a guy assisting an AI far more developped than me and honestly i feel useless”.

“Soundwave's statut : Communication and Information Officer among Cybertronian's forces”.

That sounded very military. The good or bad side of this information was debatable. On one hand it was surely better than just have Soundwave as an ally. But an Alien army ? It was more dangereous than just innocently talking to Soundwave… For a random reason, he had the impression the word ‘among’ has been twisted a little in comparaison of the otherwise perfect pronounciation of Soundwave's voice.

“Great i suppose. This mean we are kind of similar in statut….?” “By the way…..”

He cut himself at the middle of his answer, thinking about it before answering. What was the most pressing question about the extraterrestrial being at the other side of his spatial Phone ?

Wait. He had it.

“How do you speak exactly the same language as me ?”

That was a question. For the first time since the recieving of that first call, Cosmos wondered if someone was just playing with him since the beginning, making him look like a fool for his own distraction. Wont be the first time. Was Soundwave an Alien ? What stupide name was even Soundwave ? The answer stopped his spiraling.

“Soundwave : recieved radio wave from your planet : cracked the language code. Very interested on a large panel of codes and language, find the understanding of foreign dialects : very stimulating”.

Oh funny one, Soundwave considered his language like a code to break. The Alien was very interesting, and wait a sec

“Your heard the radio waves ? But you must be very far from Earth, the waves must have distorded every sound and mixing with others space sounds”.

“Soundwave : is a great listener”.

What did he meant by that ? But another voice line could be heard now.

“But data from radio waves : insufficient”. “Interfacing with local technology : optimal for the comprehension of your successful resistance”.

Interfacing ?

“You want to come here ? To Earth”.

“Yes”.

That last message was very short but awakened an insatiable curiosity in the Astronaut's heart.

“Oh my god my Alien is going to visit us” he whispered with joy.

One last question, because he felt brave.

“May i continue asking you questions while you uh…..travel to my planet ?”.

“Soundwave : is a great listener. And is feeling curiosity towards your specie”.

The voice repeated his phrasing “May I ask you questions ?”.

And Cosmos's loneliness slowly faded away.

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Annnd here is my little Cosmonaute <3 had to make a design for him

Welcome to the ginger club, blorbo.

Soundwave’s is coming soon he will look like his TF One self, with some modifications, in order to effectively hide himself from Earthling that are more Earthling than Cosmos hehe….because tf1 Soundwave is some sort of space ship. It’s not very useful when you want to hide from our paranoid society

(You guys will like it !!)

Ps : Hi Keferon ! I know you don’t necessarily seek for the ramifications of your AU if it doesn’t connect with you but I hope you will like this little story/introduction to my sweet platonic space chilling ship)

#:d #tf mecha universe #transformers #tf mecha au #maccadam #coswave #soundwave #soundwave cosmos #cosmos #cosmos humanformers

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tomorins · 4 months ago

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HIIII I SAW UR BDAY BULLETS so um could u do it with Toya?? If possible, with a male reader... if it's better for you, maybe do the prsk boys so more ppl can read it? It's ok if it's only Toya tho

PARTY CANDLES ! ii – prod. filomiya

characters – akito s. , toya a.

THEM, when its your birthday ( bullet headcanons )

VERSIONS – i. ii. ( both genshin and pjsk )

notes : didnt expect to get requests related to my first ever time writing for genshin but!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING i went to the mall with my friends mmmmmrrrrrrrewwwwwwowowow ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE NOTES ON MY RECENT POST its not that amazing now looking back at it but hey i was radio silent for like what. . .. . . 1 yearr??????? its my epic comeback guys . . . . . also i did g/n reader because im still unfamiliar with male reader but you can also view this as male reader if you want ++ unfortunately didnt do the wondasho boys because i am not familiar with their characters AT ALL so theres that

AKITO S.

is he big on gifts? maybe. only with you.

while he wouldnt go really overboard on his usual gifts, akito would prepare a bigger significant amount for your birthday. from the flower bouquets and accessories via the old boutique he previously worked at, to other things based on your interests and feelings expressed in letters that he couldnt voice out.

but if you both have the same clothing? oh boy. oooh boy. aside the new articles of clothing he would buy from his pocket money, he would also gift you one of his hoodies (after giving it a bath in his cologne.)

and after all this? you guys could go to the new cafe that opened downtown, or your favourite one, even weekend garage, or at home! it all depends on what you really want. because as much as he could try to come up with a specific place for this date, he would rather have you guys do something you want.

infatuation? also maybe. youre one lucky individual.

TOYA A.

unlike akito, he would prefer giving something small but meaningful.

the usual flower bouquet wouldnt go missing, ofcourse! but i feel like toya would gift things for your own interests, like books or jewelry that remind him of you, or that you rambled about in the past. considers it the best opportunity!

but with only a little of his self control slipping out, he would buy more than anticipated. but if its all for you, he didnt mind, not at all!

would take you to either one of vivid bad squads performances (all free of charge) or a stroll to your favourite locations. let it be the city or beach, he loves these moments more than anyone. toya would try to think out of the box for today, and not just go to the cafe. you do that every week anyway!

reward him with a kiss after.

filomiya : any acts of plagiarism of my works are strictly prohibited. credits to the divider creators.

#written : surpassed angelic #pjsk #project sekai #pjsk x reader #project sekai x reader #akito shinonome #toya aoyagi #akito shinonome x reader #toya aoyagi x reader #vivid bad squad

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vivicas-dollhouse · 7 months ago

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Day one of my smut challenge

Dressing in your clothes

A willry fic || prompts are kink discovery and fantasizing masturbation, we getting gay in this bitch

AU where they live together :3

Enjoy~

Henry comes back in one day. Will can wait. He had made a promise that he wouldnt, but he couldnt take it.

He sat feverishly on the couch, mindlessly staring at the tv. He tried to stop the hot feeling in his gut, ignoring every animalistic desire to get off. He had promised Henry. He had…

Will slowly moved his hand to his crotch, leaning back into the couch as he palmed himself through his boxers, making stupid little noises as he imagined henry was doing it. He needed to get off, henry would never know if he did, right? Surely he could just once..

He pulled down his boxers, groaning at the release of tension. He lazily used his thumb to stroke the head, a small amount of precum leaking out. He looked to the side, reaching for the dirty laundry hamper for a towel. As he pulled, henrys boxers came with the towel. He stared at it for a second, thinking how much he missed that stupid blondes smile, his strong hands, his smell..

His… smell….

Will grabbed the boxers, holding the soft fabric in his hands. It was henrys alright, he knew that scent. Would it be wrong if he just wanted to drown in that smell? Surely not, and its not like anyone was home to see it.

Will buried his face into the boxers, feeling his dick twitch as he drowned in henry. He started slowly going up and down on himself, just like henry did. He moaned into the fabric as he sped up, feeling the fabric get warmer with his breath.

“Fuck,” he whined, bucking his hips into his hand as he desperately drank in henrys scent. He felt the heat pool in his gut, the same warmth that henry never failed to provide, that shameful, agonizing feeling right before he released. He rode out his orgasm, slowing a bit as his head rolled back. He panted into the silence, ashamed.

“You couldnt wait huh?” Henry laughed, scaring will so bad he screamed.

“Hen! I didnt- i-” will scrambled for words, trying to shove his lovers boxers where they couldn't be seen. It didnt work.

“Dont worry love, i saw the whole thing,” henry leaned down to kiss a red will. “If you want me so bad that you smell my boxers, i think you deserve it. Cmon, lets clean you up.”

#willry #fnaf #fnaf smut #willry fanfic #willry smut #henry emily #william afton smut #william afton #i have the flu save me #vivicas dollhouse

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saltyskeletonkidpasta · 4 months ago

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Okay probably unpopular opinion but if station 19 hadn't have ended I would've preferred if marina's baby storyline ended with Liam.

I'm sorry but 3 seasons of the same thing got SO boring like I wasnt even excited by anything. I think it's probably bc they instantly ruined it with the 5b donor nonsense which I think has scarred me for life but the whole baby thing in general got SO tedious. Ideally they should've had maya have her breakdown in S5 then s6 they could've done the baby thing then s7 they could do something else but they wasted so much time and made the baby all about something it shouldnt have been and grossed me out so much I just wasnt interested.

What pissed me off most is that they practically made wanting a baby carina's entire personality. It didnt really make any sense as she couldn't have been less interested in kids while she was on greys and I get changing your mind but they made her act like having kids was her life mission. There is so much more to her than that. I mean first they made her j*cks fangirl for NO REASON and obsess over him(🤢) and almost every scene she had in 5b was talking abt how great he was or talking abt s***m🙄 then in s6 when Maya was having her huge mental breakdown which was probably extremely triggering for carina given her background yet still a huge amount of her screen time was spent talking abt a non existent baby despite the storyline being on the backburner and not actively being progressed forward. I mean the first time we saw her after she had to commit her wife into psych was in the clinic with the stupid Pam thing...what was the point of that? Like we already knew she wanted a baby and yet that's what her screentime was spent on? Couldn't they have had her talk about HER pov of maya's 51/50 instead of stuff we already knew? Poor girl was so clearly traumatised yet wasnt given anywhere near enough attention to her feeling other than 6x15 and a little in 6x10.

Thing is if marina were given more time in S5 to talk about OTHER things maybe maya wouldnt have spiraled the way she did. I mean Carina constantly kept questioning maya's commitment and accusing her of putting her job first (when she wasnt at the time and constantly reassured her) which is a horrible thing to accuse her of. I mean if maya knows carina thinks like this and yet she is having serious problems at work then obviously she isnt going to feel too comfortable confiding in her about said problems which is sad when you think about how lonely and bad she felt. S5 didnt set up much excitement for them having a baby for obvious reasons I loved their conversation in 5x03 but to me it felt like maya jumped into the decision in 5x06 and it didnt feel right. I didnt like their scene with pru maya was completely useless and I hated that carina suggested that maya was so strict with herself with schedules and diets was bc she's never been around kids before?? Like what? I dont understand why she'd say that bc she knows that it's not down to that AT ALL it's more to do with maya's extremely abusive father? Surely carina knows that? It seemed like a very sudden decision on Maya's part and I truly think she agreed to having a baby bc she knew carina wanted it and she wanted to make her happy (not that that's necessarily a bad thing) I just wish they had atleast talked through their feelings a bit more like maya's fears and carina's insecurities rather than focusing on a donor. It would've been much better than what we got.

Dont get me wrong I think Liam is adorable and I liked seeing marina be moms and tbh I really like that they adopted but we had to wait so long for so little. I get that the show was ending and since there was so much build up it made sense for it to end the way it did but if it wasnt cancelled it would be been better if they just stopped at Liam. Maybe pick it up down the line in a couple of years but by 7x04 at the end when they agreed to doing ivf right after they bought Liam home I couldn't help but role my eyes. Like AGAIN? They just got a baby now they have to have another one straight away? I was so over it by that point. If they had sone what they did in s7 straight away that would've been much better but waiting that long for something so short kind of took away any kind of excitement for me

#station 19 #liam deluca bishop #maya bishop #marina #carina deluca #travis montgomery #vic hughes #grey's anatomy #maya x carina #andy herrera #station19 #robert sullivan #natasha ross #jack gibson #ben warren #rant #my rants

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postmoderntongues · 21 days ago

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wake up bro new opoid overdose crisis just dropped

the next thing on the 2025 bingo card is super-fentanyl

lethal in orally ingested GRAINS you cant even test a bag for that with a kit they are trying to thin the drug use community even fartther

to avoid getting undercut by street guys with built in customer bases like they did once they legalized weed, they're thinning us out to ensure dominance of the market once they go full legal with substances within the next decade

why would they invent super-fentanyl JFC thats like "we made the killer robot from the classic scifi novel wouldnt it fucking suck if a killer robot existed and we had to deal with it lol technological progress sure is fun" levels of theres no good excuse they're not even hiding it they're contaminating the market to eliminate competition with the state-distributed legal market why would you make something that a grain of it ORALLY not even spiked can kill an adult like was that just on a fucking dare is that what like government chemical scientists do to feel edgy there is no even plausible excuse for this being a thing that exists

idk if you remember the fent crisis when it first hit but a lot of people we kind of know or are used to seeing around but never spoke to are going to start vanishing fent takes enough that a hot bag could be detected with a kit so u dont do an h sized line of it and die but really until fent only people who spiked died of accidental opiate overdoses and even then almost exclusively on first dose post relapse because they misjudge how their tolerance has decreased and cook a shot they were doing at their worst before detox with a clean system and misjudge the shot by like a fucking gram or more like most maintaining IV users who have reached physical addiction on average shoot about a g at a time and whats called a bundle or 10gs a day. The physical limit of powder you can pack into both nostrils didnt used to be a potentially fatal dose for a first time user even. until a decade ago even with no tolerance an inch and a ha;f standard looking line was a reasonable starter dose for somebody without a history or tolerance. then fent came out and a conservative starter sized line could kill u by snorting it. This is dosed in grains like certain RCs were you cant test a bag for a bad grain or pick out which pill might have a bad grain pressed into it this s going to be very very very bad especially on the music/art scene for way more people than ur aware of because opiate addicts can be high functioning and maintain for long periods and completely hide their addiction and the majority of autistic/mentally ill adults and also adults on the art scene at least occasionally indulge in something harder than weed more people than you can imagine surrounding us arent making it to christmas and its not even impossible ill be one of them because grains orally ingested grains the only reason you invent that is to kill people ur not treatng medical pain patients even severe burn victims with something that kills you in less than a dozen swallowed grains

jfc somebody could put that on a goddamn cigarette filter im not even tweaking like yes i am but im not being alarmist at all if this verse is anything like the last verse before this little chorus of shit stabilizing weve enjoyed the past 3 years and im not even going to deny that i have ptsd from working harm reduction during the first wave of the fent crisis but theres no way to test for something that can kill you in a dozen SWALLOWED grains not even spiked a dozen grains is the fucking amount u sprinkle into the kit to change the color and test the purity/flag for contaminants like there's a possibility that were doing a second round same as the first but a little bit louder and a little bit worse now that the opiate community has learned how to safely dose fent its actually higher street value than h and thats why its no longer a filler risk we adapted and they literally adapted back with their full fucking chests and were like first operation was a success, do it bigger and with more explosions and tits in the sequel this is looking like a fullblown Saw 2 level of escalation from a film filmed in a single room and one limb amputation to a newline production with markie mark and the introduction of the traps gimmick of a sequel to the fent crisis

ive taken RCs that were dosed in grains where the guy put a half dozen grains on a spoon and u sniffed it and it was so little u werent even sure u got it and then 3 minutes later ur in a 15 hour RC hallucinogen engagement like this is not an alarist thing when they are talking about the amount ive personally taken stuff as active as a strip of l for twice as long that was measured out into what looked like half a dozen grains of table sugar that potency in that quantity is something ive personally experienced like shit might get a little harrowing again for a while but worse and less prevention harm reduction ability this time they invented the super computer from the famous scifi novel "we wish this super computer wasnt a thing that existed that is a constant problem in our lives" i hate super fent i hate vaping i hate the word unalived at this point ill happily go back to being called slurs to my face in the hallway and drinking OG formula 4loko and date another guy in the bloods with multiple kids again and listen to bad techno with UWUrandum edgy lyrics sung by known pedophiles to an audience of little girls who lost their virginities on sconstruction sites instead of waiting to be euthanized on fictional farm and recorded as a covid outbreak fatality in the paperwork sent to my family with full blown open nazis being a thing you encounter like outside of institutional life in the real world putting bumper stickers on their cars and shit cigarettes are $11 a pack for fucking pall malls that was newport prices when i smoked and they change the shape of the only available phone charger in stores every 9 months while i ubereats ashwaganda to my front door because im taking every chemical possible to quiet the shit in my head that i know is not real logically and everybodys on antidepressants so nobody can get a goddamn red blooded american erection to do anything but get blown with the future is fucking ass

like even in oz theres a scene where a character ODs on H in the 90s and my drug sperg ass was like thats less than a ball of powder and hes not spiking it and has a strong enough tolerance to be in fullblown physical WDs within 12 hours of in show time from the last dose we see him do before we see him in full detox and i was like thats literally not even a fatal dose garunteed if you spike it thats a high dose its a risky dose but a bundle a day being the average habit thats 4 balls over a waking period so 12-14 hours and he doesnt have a needle so hes either eating it or snorting it that volume of 90s straingth east coast powder is not a fatal dose worst case ud vomit (a much more common way of people who dont spike dying h related deaths pre fent, passing out on their backs puking and not coming to and winding up asparating it) and theres no vomit on his body when its shown which again drug sperg unless you spike in almost any od case ud vomit before the levels in your blood became toxic thats how i survived the haldol OD u pke most toic doses of substances before a toxic dose is actually able to be absorbed u cant keep it down physically thats literally why im alive ive attempted suicide by OD over a dozen times since my first attempt fall of 7h grade thats why more females attempt more frequently and there are more female "persistent attempt survivors" bc statistically most of us try by OD of some sort where more males complete because most male suicides are self inflicted gunshot wounds to the head its hard to hold down enough to become toxic long enough for a toxic dose to be absorbed your body wants to live it recognizes it as toxic and rejects it very few attempts by OD result in completion and until about a decade ago id look at a ball of h on a show and be like "prop department fucked up, that wasnt a fatal amount to a user with a tolerance even if IVd which once again even that used to happen with h related suicides (addiction and mental illness go hand in hand H isnt my substance but there but for the grace of god go I because I prefered k and acid and uppers and didnt fall in love with H when i tried it like i very well could have and a lot of people dealing with the struggles of addiction on top of what they became addicted to relieve attempt so again even among IV users other than hot batches circulating on occasion that were fucking state planted tainted product or purposeful poisoning attempts as a form of attempted murder among the using world directed at indeviduals specifically relapses and suicides are how people died from H overdose

that was 30 years ago. We now have a chemical so unnessesarily potent that i couldnt even see it having a potential FOR medical use because if 12 grains orally is fatal ur not going to be dosing mfs by the grain a 30 mg oxy pain no longer exists a 5mg oxy and i let them put my teeth back in place with pliers like a medical reinactment of the torture scene from oldboy didnt feel a mf thing even fent was supposidly justified as being intended for transdermal use only to treat severe cases like burn victims and car crash victis and late stage terminal patients who the amount of oxy required would cause vomiting in most people f taken orally and would still require such a high quantity of liquid in iv form that between quantity and consistancy would most likely blow the vein in a fortnight tops like even to OD through IV if u were a user with a physical dependance shooting more than two grrams so twice a casual maintainance dose for a bundle a day habit ud be as likely to blow the vain injecting that volume of liquid as to be able to inject that quantity and even that would just be a heavy dose for a haitual user not a fatal one it used to be HARD to die from opiate OD outside of 1st dose post relapse and suicide

ive watched amounts of people die in front of me working harm reduction when the crisis first hit that like im pretty sure most people whove never been active combat veterans usually see in a lifetime smalltalk in certain circles of friends of mine and catching up from high school with the old classmates is just listing the names of who we found out ODd during the crisis that we knew from high school since the last time you exchanged the updated list f names

like the girl i lost my virginity to who i have the cute stories of napping in starewells together died. Like literally 4 of my girlfriends from high school died, dead, not alive anymore. So many people i used to chill with. Most people i knew used but they had good weed connects so id just get stoned with them while they used bc i didnt like drugs that made me sleepy and was paranid that since it was a depressant it would cause my body to burn fewer calories per minute in maintainance state so it just was never my thing. Like i was always very "when in rome" about it, its very pleasant, ive even purposly used fent itself i bought bars id been told were fent cut bananas which havent exsted in half a decade so i knew they were pressed but i couldnt get pain meds while my teeth healed so i just took what i was told was a safe measured oral dose of fent cut with xans (they mix the batch as much filler as safe, crush the pills to powder, mix it up, and re press them to stretch 100 into 150-200 depending on how cut) and took that for the pain we fgured out how to not only detect but safely dose fent to the point where most adicts prefer it to h bc its easier to shoot less volume higher potency shit so more convenient to ingest once the safe peramiters for ngestion were estabilshed. But powdered fent was never supposed to exist, its only that potency because it was eant for extreme pain cases that could only be treated transdermally that was the justification for synthecizing it, theres no medical scenario where you need so much of such a high potency dose of opiates to somebody to rerout the side effects of traditional consumpton methods of traditional strength opiates to justify synthecizing this my grandma was on fent patches and i grabbed the last of them when she was moved to hospice because if i didnt my dad would and she didnt need them in hospice anyway i put one of those fucking things on and slept for 72 hours thinking id only nodded out for a second woke up completely euphoric and disoriented, patch wore off after a little under a week of nonstop wear, if the medicated part was cut into strips you could stick it to ur pussy or mouth bc the membraine and rout to the bloodstream is thinner than the skin of say ur arm one of those fuckers cut into strips lasted half a week of constantly being so blitzed all i could do was comit sloth and pass back out after realizing id passed out. now we are talking orally ingested grains. That could be sprinkled in a fucking drink even easier than soemthing like G, people are going to put it on cigs and in drinks to date rape people and the victims will fatally OD and after market pills you cant break off a crumb and test for GRAINS in a skittle sized pressed pill

this is going to get dissolved in liquid lsd and painted onto fucking blotter and kill people from fucking tabs

also as a multiple attempt survivor the existance of a substance so lethally potent in such small doses meaning a tiny amount of physical chemical substance that can be absorbed at a faster rate and is so low doze that you couldnt get a signifigant amount out of you just by puking means i now have a significantly more efficient way to make a permanent choice in a temporary state. Which like the only reason im not loudly and pro choice suicide because what the fuck do you mean you can lock me up for trying to murder my own goddamn self thats insane in terms of my bodily autonomy beliefs but theres no way to condone it that doesnt end in euthenasia instead of treatment to save money presented as the compassionate coice and the "right to die" like were seeing in canada

if i was a canadian citizen i could make an appointment with a dr while watching a tv show and be dead before the next episode aired with my diagnosis, why would they offer "maintaining a tragic not worth living existence of agony" instead of a "compassionate perminant end to my medical suffering" second one is a whole lot fucking cheaper the right is going to euthenize us and say we were sent to farms and stager the release of the medical documents as medical epidemic outbreaks the left are going to get us to book our own lethal injection at a local Claires next to where they peirce newborn's ears like shits actually getting scary

like as a disabled person entering this era and a compulsive polysubstance addict with low in the moment risk assessment ability theres not an insignificant chance that my life will end by way of Isotonitazene OD either in a ditch in a mass grave on the "farm" or through a formally booked lethal injection like a fucking haircut or through my own inability to resist the temptation of use despite the risks or when i get access to it in exactly the wrong mental state and finally complete like we were most likely doing heart attack if the neurological situation didnt degrade to the end of command of organ function first but now its looking like Isotonitazene OD

but the info about it available now is mostly just word of mouth and personal anticdotes of encounters and already a few ODs circulating around the harm reduction and opiate use communities

fent was supposed to be scary, this looks like its goal is to be EFFECTIVE

within the first 6 months of the crisis i had about a dozen and a half dead friends close enough that as a female i felt safe using depressants and falling asleep and taking immobilizing quantities of K around and more dead acquaintances and siblings of friends and former classmates and facebook friends from bar bathrooms or raves or kids i knew from counseling programs and group therapy and hospital stays and afterschool programs for troubled kids and people i was connected to through the rave scene/whoel shenanagains i was into upstate/kids i went to church with/kids i fucking babysat as toddlers in my teens than i was even aware was such a high quantity of people i fucking KNEW there were days where i got like a half dozen names between waking up and going to sleep i literally didnt know i even knew as many people as i knew that died in the first 6 months and im still getting fresh names found out about this kid dwayne this funny little fat kid my cousin was friends with who had a crush on me and puked every time he smoked and tried to freestyle rap over MGMT songs died in the epidemic when i met that friend of my cousins a few weeks ago

but even that was dresden we're facing down a full blown hiroshima on the horizon

theyll be able to use it to taint non dispensary weed and untaxed cannabis products like vapes even this is deadass not even trying to hide it a move on the market this is the christening scene of the godfather about to pop off this is the walter white 20 kills in a minute scene where he orders the prison hits they're eliinating the competition through becoming the only safe source while also eliminating the established market that will undercut the taxed product like what happened with weed

this is out in the open unapologetic gangster shit

theyll be able to dissolve it in water and spray it invisibly onto plant matter directly

even in the one disputed recorded case of "fent tainted weed" to anybody who know what weed looks like it was visibly covered in powder nobody would smoke that not realizing it was covered in powder

unless they thought the powder was coke but thats also 00s as fuck

and even then coke has a strong taste and opiates in powdered form are acrid like vinegar. even with fent knowing ur dealer and doing a bump before u cut a line when u opened a new bag was sufficient harm reduction to prevent if not uncomfortable intensity at least fatal overdose

put 6 grains of sugar in your mouth and tell me how strong the taste is

we invented the super deadly addictive poison from the famous dystopian short story "everybody is dropping dead because they're addicted to a lethal substance how ironic the thing u love is killing you very poetic but for realz this totally blows and i wish it werent happening"

jesus fuckign christ

i will let my white supremist drunk father who yells at fox news when he doesnt consider the female reporters to be hot enough to have tv careers and switched beers for 6 months because he couldnt cope with his attraction to Dylan Mulvanie that if you can agree on nothing else he has common ground with a liberal bisexual musician kid who drinks diet coke literally just for the love of the MF game and its that the present is absolute horse shit in every measurable way

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1tsjusty0u · 1 year ago

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ackshually. how does knighthood work. is link's whole journey into knighthood same as canon or are there any changes? how did he feel about it

ALSO MILITARY TRAINING GROUNDS

knighthood….

alright so. this will be kind of uh. silly? but to me knighthood/Being A Knight is like. School. except instead of paperwork its training. get up at 5 am with 4 hours of sleep because 7-8 hours of your day was work with a 30 minute lunch break and either legally or socially your expected to/Have to go there and youre treated lesser than the instructor and can be punished for reasonable things and have to jump through hoops/use fae trickery to have sick days or not go in but still get like. the required credits/required training thingies due to broken bones or Really Bad sickness. just sucks ass. itd probably get more bearable the more ranks you go up, and the akkala citadel is probably the best possible place for knights to be honestly. i can imagine rooms being there and also im pretty sure the fort is for like. ships and stuff. so how much work actually goes on there is debatable. though im pretty sure theres a map of it in age of calamity i! have not played it nor emulated it yet </3 so i cant say how accurate this is. also im having guards only really be at like. castle town/posts like the east post ruins not hateno or lurelin. maybe guard the entrances as time goes on/if danger grows/link simply books it but Thats It. knights as well they only really follow the princess/do things around royal hylian buildings. its probably weird to specify but. yeag

i think it is? for canon he gets the mastersword at 13 and from zeldas diary hes only appointed as her knight like. recently/at 16. before then he was affiliated with it due to his father (miphas diary?). so probably. for wreath i dont think he ever actually becomes a knight/is in the royal army until 13 (which if he was for forced into it i think he Wouldnt be happy about it initially/his dad scared him by telling him about it.) so up until that point his dad basically just Visited from time to time and he got to hang out and do sword things which he didnt really think about besides “YEAAAAH SWORD FIGHTINF :D” until hes actually in the army. when he Is in the military if he didnt hate it before he does now!! if he could quit with no repercussions he would the second he could, but he views it as ‘theres no other options for me + my futures shit and fucked on if i dont do this/leave illegally’ so. yeah! and his dad really does Not help at all. how military-y any of this actually is is very debatable, and truthfully i could probably make this more accurate (my. sighs. my brother joined the actual military because free healthcare. hes not in like. the fighting department but hes still trained for that. the first weeks were at some fort and it was Hell for him. like he had to sit in close to genuine freezing weather with no actual cold gear besides his uniform and his orders kept getting mixed up constantly??? different sargents all said different things and gave them different orders. like once he got past that point/fort my dad joked that he probably felt like nothing could be worse than that. so theoretically i could make it like that for link. will i is the question. sorry for the . not infodump but personal dump).

the training grounds!!! i personally think thats how he got into the lost woods but the actual amount of times hes been there is sparse (until hes knighted). he probably viewed it as a playground as first but when he has to do actual training there he would despise it so badly. but this is where drills and such happen and i think itd be sectioned off (because if i recall correctly theres like. terraces? of mud? like theres different sections of mud and buildings) for different drills. knights probably go there daily while guards Dont. i think itd just pain your muscles. also the mud was probably always there and not after the calamity. i dont think thered be any monsters in there? just because it would cause collateral not because the royal family/army is against putting up soldiers and monsters against each other. otherwise nnot much to say? link would get muscle cramps constantly probably he does Not know any stretches. but yeag. i like how gaffen is born in rauru settlement and while im not doing that for wreath link i Do like the idea of rauru settlement being connected to the military/military training grounds. itd probably be where knights stay at first maybe? or it could be be unrelated which would be kind of funny considering noise complaint possibilities. trying to sleep but these stupid knights keep clashing their stupid swords

#hello!!!#the reason knights dont live in other villages unless retired is because i dont want to have to deal with a cop analogy #the guards guarding entrances probably constitute that but thats Manageable narratively. like i can confront that more easily probably #so! ywah! this honestly probably isnt. like medieval accurate but link image it is (unfortunately) my au #speaking of i like to think post age of calamity/if the champions won first time people would be so unhappy but thats another story #wreath of the bild #i need a link name….. soon…..

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garaviel · 2 years ago

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@arcann tagged me bc somehow they KNOW i need to finish my 2nd playthrough!

TRAITS

Your “canon” trait combination? I did Mystical and Keen Eye on my first playthrough and i honestly really liked it. Combining a more “practical” trait like Keen Eye and a more ‘emotion” based trait like Mystical really balanced the interactions between the characters and environment for me in a way that didnt make one or the other seem useless

What 3rd trait would you add for hardcore mode? After genuinely thinking about it probably Talk to Animals. I have no clue how useless or not it would be in Hardcore Mode but i love all those critters and any extra info is good info, right? 2nd choice may be Street Smart for obvious reasons and a more practical application!

What trait are you least drawn to? Hot. I have heard it can open up more but it kinda seems like it could be a free pass for MC to be the Worst while still being buddies with people just bc they’re attractive and idk how i feel about that. I also don’t really flirt too much even on romance routes. I’m sure the writing would still be incredible tho as nothing has felt like a let down yet!

Coolest trait? I just started a Streetsmart + Talk to Animals combo and i really like Streetsmart so far. Seems like the one I might choose if you only got one option instead of 2! Will have to finish the playthrough to confirm my thoughts tho bc i surprisingly miss Mystical, at least in trying to outstubborn Sybil (even if it doesnt work)!

ROMANCE

Who are you romancing? I have my first MC who i guess is closest to my “canon” playthrough branching off with different saves bc i am unsure if staying single or romancing Reese or Kaneeka is more in line with the personality im developing for her. Kaneeka is a fellow goth so of course i love her and my MC is punk as hell so theres some crossover there, but also horror movies and weird fucked up body horror art is always fun as hell so theres my boy Reese. But honestly the friendships have been fulfilling enough that i wouldnt need MC to romance anyone i guess.

What romance are you least interested in? Waynes is probably 50 shades of fucked up and i dont personally want to give it a shot but i might for a really weird MC so strangely i might have to say Stella? Not that she isn’t the sweetest but i kind of like her with Tabitha potentially, even if its not a Canon Thing.

Who would you romance if every character was eligible? Still Reese, Kaneeka, and Avery. They all have good interactions with the MC and although the game isnt 100% done yet at this point im not sure other characters would have the same amount of friendship built up to where i would want to start a romance.

MISC

What character would hurt the most if something bad happened to them? Avery honestly. Theyre very mellow and friendly and one of my MCS faves and i would be pissed if i fucked up something and got them seriously hurt.

Would you stay in Scarlet Hollow once the week is over? Im not sure there will BE a Scarlet Hollow once the week is over. Either it will be wiped out by Supernatural Shenanigans or the strike will end the coal mine (as it probably should) and everyone will have to move anyway. Even if somehow the town is Fine my MC is probably going to die or something bc holy shit Mystical is feeling very foreboding.

Who would you vote for dog mayor? I think i will know for sure when i finish my Talk to Animals playthrough. I take this stuff very seriously after all.

Not tagging anyone bc i am unsure if anyone else has played it yet but YOU SHOULD.

#scarlet hollow

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stovetoast · 2 years ago

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i know this is my art blog but i can do whatever i want. agents posting GO (WARNING THIS IS MESSY)

agent 3: lake. 19 (11 in splatoon 1), they/them

i dont have a lot on lake!!! they actually didnt get recruited at all, they just kinda... stumbled into the battlefield while the octavio fight was happening and insisted on sticking around afterwards because they had Way Too Much Energy. they dont really know a lot about their past before that, even less after oe. they now spend a lot of time researching turf game strategies (theyre not legally allowed to play because their special limiter is broken) and trying to push through the chronic fatigue. oh, and theyre in a qpr with 8.

personality . uhh basically lake likes to pretend theyre still silly but its Not working. they cant really speak above a certain volume either without it hurting. im so bad at describing personalities heeellllp hellllp help meeee helllllp

agent 4: mari(elle). 21 (15 in splatoon 2), any

the child of two splatlandian grizzco higher-ups! like... they work with the bear himself! they worked under the company at the inkopolis location for a while, including while the whole callie disappearing fiasco was happening, at least until the company got big enough where he could quit and her parents wouldnt notice. they didnt. cool! there may or may not be a reason that they didnt (wink) but i havent decided yet.

mari is kinda uhhhm. well. ive described it as theyre working on being silly without being mean. and hes been getting better :] + toni kensa fan oh heeeeelllllll no

agent 8: august/kass. 19 (13 in oe), he/him

oh god yeah i dont have a lot on him either. basically baby kass and baby lake met a few weeks before the Oe Incident and became fast friends. but then the metro happened and uhhhyeah you can imagine what happened to that. they both know they were close but dont really uh. actually i explained this better in another thing let me grab that.

"the key difference between a normal playthrough and this is that, not only did he run into agent 3 a few times in the metro, he… lost an eye when they were sanitized. the same eye, in fact. plus, his memories weren't entirely… restored, like how it i assume its implied to in oe. the contents of the mem cakes were merely evidence that there was a life before this, something to evoke feelings, and something to keep him going. that isn't his life anymore."

anyway. oe happens and now were here. present day kass is SILLY okay? but in the way that like. he dunks bread in pepsi and stares at mari (roommate) with the most blank face imaginable when they look at him weird. i dont know where im going with this hes just weird. he also has a strange fixation on death as a coping mechanism for the fact that his first memories are pretty much of zombies but hes respectful about it dw

new 3: clementine "kit"/patch. 16, it/its

basically it was forced to take on an unhealthy amount of schoolwork (+ a few extra years of school) because its parents live all the way in calamari county and didnt want it doing stupid shit. its primary guardian is its older sister, whos a lot nicer about this stuff yay! but yeah uhh splatoon 3 basically happens because it wanted to escape that. why it actually went in the manhole is up to interpretation .

through the nss bonanza business it made a friend, my friends oc ball :] together they are agent 6 and agent 9 (dubbed by lake because they knew itd get confusing) and theyre Siblings Yaaay. its smallfry friend (agent 3) is dubbed sen, short for baby sensory video, at least while kits learning their language. it doesnt know a lot about sen but is in the process of learning!!

its generally very quiet and soft-spoken to most people because of how it grew up, but in more of the ^_^ way ig??? despite that its also known to not have a sense of self preservation, again because of how it grew up. it goes out in the scorching hot desert for random junk. it ended up with severe facial scarring because it dove into danger so much in alterna. im describing this very badly im so sorry.

#k_c nss #splatoon

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draconixiaa · 1 year ago

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tired but i'll do a bit of this (will be a bit rambly:D)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24,, wow not bad

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

165.5k wow thats a lot,, most of it comes from one tho; everything else are shortfics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DSMP and ive just started a bit of genshin at the behest of my Tartaglia-obsessed irl and he's kinda cool but like for 95% of my other fics its all cdream ahahahhh(dies)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

"Consequences" tops the charts obviously bc its my one and only longfic and it was written during the peak of dsmp and man id link it bc i love my storyline (cdream obviously gets messed up in prison but then gets a healing arc) there but at the same time i feel like the writing had too many grammar mistakes and could be better so nahh

"North Star to Freedom" is one im actually really proud of, like obviously the writing could be better bc ive improved, but i just like it and id deffo rewrite it too if i had time or steal it into an original fic (premise is that cdream escapes prison with the rebibe book and oh lord my lingo anyways (spoilers) he dies and he gives techno book)

"Persevere" is third, wow that's a long time ago, its alright, i like it in general, but it feels almost cheesy. idk. i like it, but i dont like it. its not mixed feelings, but eh. anyways, something about cdream getting captured by the egg which is about to take over the world but he sacrifices himself to cleanse it. the most acute thing i rember about it is that its a 3parter

"Coup de Grace" ok wth i didnt expect this to be on there it was a small little cdream suffering in prison and cphil comes over, sees him in pain, and cough relieves him of it, and i dont like the writing in a specific part of it, but i like it in some other parts, so eh

"turn the claret tides" whoops i forgot what this one was about ok i glanced through the doc its ctechno getting cdream out of prison wow that title was really vague but he gets the letter and things went on.. it was inspired by another fic and happened during the hype of the prison arc which is kinda cool

(man im looking at the amount of fics i want to rewrite but it aint happening sadge)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, most of the times nowadays, if it particularly made my day or it has something deep and insightful or literally makes any observation on my fic. sometimes im just too tired to answer,, maybe laziness is a part of it too, but i stare and its like,, i cant generate a response . but nowadays, i do it most of the times bc i appreciate my commenters :D

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my recent fics mostly have happy endings, but all my pre-like, mid 2023 fics were all sad sad sad. they all ended in cdream dying, one way or the other. so idk which ones the saddest now its been too long,, the one i personally think is the saddest is one that i like, was listening to sad music to, the song being 'sociopath,' an orchestral piece (or was it piano?)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

consequences

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

once on consequences bc that was max cdream apologists vs inniters era

9. Do you write smut?

nop never ever ever

10. Do you write crossovers?

dream + tartaglia is one i wrote in fudging october that i am still trying to find time to continue

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

prob not, if there is, then i wouldnt know of it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, if there was, i also dont know of it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

wow thats crazy that i havent, but idk, teamwork and coordination just go meh when i only share my interests with online people

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk i dont do ships but my fav friendship is dream + techno or dream + punz

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all my chapter continuations except the tartaglia + dream one i Need to finish that. but also the palace of stone idea will Never Ever get written

16. What’s your writing strengths?

descriptions idk they go lengthy but ive practiced with them a lot so ive gotten kinda good

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, pacing, idk literally everything, i can prob improve on anything and every aspect of my writing rn, and i just need to practice more

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DSMP lmao

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

consequences i love the storyline + ending of that one even if the writing couldve been better

uhh tagging? idk if theres anyone that doesnt overlap wiht people whove been tagged b4 les see: @milktearosethorn , @victoriacoffee , ,, oh theres only two ok well, have fun if u decide to do this!

#drac thinks #and im so sleepy and tired today was busyyyy

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ayukas · 2 months ago

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hi miii!!! i am still technically on hiatus but i wanted to say a few words to you! :)

first of all , i hope ur doing well! ive been missing u so bad it isnt even funny!!!! ur one of the nicest ppl ive met and i genuinely miss talking to a sweet soul like u ♡ though i still lack the motivation to write and cannot push myself any further due to being completely burnt out and stressed to an extent that i am unable to walk around the halls to get to class without feeling like im about to pass the heck out, i felt like i would be a total asshole if i didnt atleast try to make one msg to you. while i still do love writing, you definitely have a lot more motivation than i do for it, and i admire you for that. you are one of the greatest writers i know and im so glad when i first figured out about your blog, you gave me the same love as everyone else.

second of all, i really hope you never feel the same way i do. i really hope you dont ever go on such a long hiatus that it seems like you've deserted your account. unfortunately i have already done this a couple times and i really hope you dont become someone like me. i hope that more people will recognize your haechan smau and give you the love that you deserve. please dont ever give up the same way i do mi, keep pushing through. i love and appreciate you alot.

thank you! ☆

love,

your shopie forever

actually teared up reading this,,, only god knows how much i missed u my shopie (ᵒ̴̶̷᷄﹏ᵒ̴̶̷᷅)

im doing well so please dont worry about me! im so honoured to know that u think so highly of me, bc i feel the exact same way about u. everytime we talk it feels like ive eaten a spoonful of honey and a huge chunk of chocolate cake… thats how sweet u are to me!!! it genuinely broke my heart to hear u say that ud be going on a hiatus but ur health and happiness will always be the most important thing in the world. i understand how overwhelming and stressful school can get but please, take breaks when u need to, even if its just closing ur eyes for a few seconds… no amount of work should make u feel this way :(

also, u wouldnt EVER be an asshole. even if u didnt drop by and leave this message, even if u disappeared off tumblr without a word, i would never think of u that way… i would wait for ur return, whenever ure ready to come back and i would welcome u with open arms just like i always have

i love and appreciate u sooo much too my sho… everything takes time so heal at ur own pace and come back whenever ure ready. i love you always

#asks #sho♡#🐻

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onmymasa22 · 5 months ago

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Something i learned this week- lots of the madrichim i work

For ppl who don't know i work in a home for old ppl with mental illnesses in Jerusalem. The staff explain to me a lot about how some of the ppl there drive them crazy. Because some people the feel bad for, and other people are smart enough to know better. But the thing is, everyone there is nuts. If they werent, they wouldnt need to live there. Like special needs people. They're not all the same, but the amount of patience and the sweetness you desplay to them should be equal whether they have downsyndrome or autism. Low ability means either could b naked without realizing its a problem. But if i had their mind, who says id act any different.

Really embracing growth. Embracing myself as my idea of fun has changed.

Having chosen life.

When the torah says life and death are put infront of u, choose life- i completed that mirzvah

Looking back at this year

Embrace growth.

Embrace that the idea of fun has changed.

Embrace the moment you lived

It's wednsday and we're tired. Worked friday, worked shabbos, worked sunday, monday had classes and went to work meetings, worked tuesday and had class, worked today. And we have finally come to the point where we wash cutting knives until they're sparkly clean, put them in the dishwasher, and didnt even realize what we did until the guy at worked figured out what happened to the knives.

Tomorrow i swear i wanna wake up super late, paint all day, and dance the night away

In israel we have a term called "מצב כפית". Now what that is, is when a girl (we don't need to name names) works all day friday, all day shabbos, all day sunday, college and work meeting monday, college and work tuesday, and now at work on Wednesday and she cleans the chopping knives fully, puts em in the dishwasher, and doesnt even notice until the guy she works with figures out what she did, laughs, and says another phrase that usually comes with being with someone in "מצב כפית" which is "תהיי בריאה"

I just have to accept the fact that im the friend who comes to things in pajamas. That someone can say- dalya, we're going on an adventure. And im there. In pajanas

Why i love old people with mental illnesses:

They let u just sit. They dont need to be entertained every second or have a conversation. I can just breathe across from them and thats enough. I dont need to constantly think of something to say. Just being is good enough for them.

They tend to only judge u based on ur character. They dont care if ur breaking out, if ur clothes are expensive, if ur life or ur hair is a mess. They need for u to just show up. Just show up. It calms them down knowing ull b there. Come mismatched. Come a mess. Just come.

When a hobo asks u for a hug and u dont know whether to be disgusted that he asked or grateful that he asked. And when he moves on u wonder if u were prepared and ready enough to punch him in the face had u needed to... Weird to be a girl

So I'm sitting outside with coffee playing guitar cuz it was kind of a downtime at work, and my lady with schizophrenia sees my dude with alzheimers putting on tefillin and tells me "he's not normal. He's wrapping that thing around everyday. He's not normal"....

what do i say: we don't talk about other housemates like that

What do i think: lady- u think everytime u poop, ur giving birth... and he's the crazy one?

A lady with schizophrenia, a man with alzheimers and a dalya walk into the outside sitting area. The lady sees the man wrapping a black chord around his arm and says to the dalya "he's not normal, he's wrapping that thing around everyday. He's not normal". The dalya sees this and thinks, "lady- u think ur giving birth every time u poop... and putting on tefillin makes him the crazy one?"

When u finally get to see the pics from a summer wedding where u were one the maids of honor, and u remember how fun that day was with all the roommates back together again and also how freaking amazingly tan u were oh my gosh i miss the summer

Something i learned this week: one of my old ppl has schizophrenia. And he calls his daughter everyday at 6pm. He spoke to her Thursday, friday he missed calling her because shabbat just happened and we ran out of time to call, and Saturday night she didnt answer. By sunday this man was a wreck. But not just a wreck. He was anxious to the point where he was asking everyone questions 5 million times, and looked like he was about to self distruct. When sunday we tried calling a few times and finally got through, it was mabye a three minute conversation and he handed me the phone to hang up. I asked him how he felt now and he said better. I could sense that he could breathe again. And although he was annoying everyone, i see a man who is a dad who feels the sane as every other dad who hasnt heard from his kid in days. Yes, he doesnt have the same skills to deal with his anxiety, but in the end, a dad is a dad. And if i was in his shoes, i would do the exact same things.

There something about comedy that i love. I love stand up comedy. I love funny people. I love the idea of funny people in a room together giving ppl crap.

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tumbling-down-the-hall · 8 months ago

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Melancholy

I've been in a weird place the past couple of days. (in reality its been like the last month or so but I have only been wanting to write a post for the past couple of days)

I don't want my relationship to be like my parents relationship but I think it is already like it in so many ways. but it is also like it's own relationship.

I talked with my mom the other day about resentment. My mom has been the one to provide for us for all of my life and i'm feeling like that a lot recently. That i'm the only one putting in effort and i'm the only one paying for things and while that is true in the moment that hasn't always been the case.

The beginning of our relationship he paid for most of it - but he was also making more than I was. Then we started living together and it was still heavily towards him but then he started pushing back so i started paying more.. but then things happened and i was the only one paying. I got a new position so i started making more and i was able to cover more. So i didn't try to complain about it because i knew that he had paid for a lot at the beginning but we hit the point where we were balanced or i guess in my mind we were. maybe we aren't. maybe we are askew again.

but then he lost his job. and it felt like he was taking advantage of the situation. Yeah he was applying to jobs but it was still a rough time for both of us. Even though it was only for a month it was still rough on both of us. We got into a couple of bad fights, one was after drinking at the bar - we both had the same amount of drinks (or close to it) and we got home. idk what led to the conversation but we ended up talking in the bathroom and he tried making a move and i didnt like that because i was not in the mood to have (but i'm "never" in the mood because #ace/demi/whateveryou want to call it that isnt hetero) and I was sitting on the bath tub and he jokingly (which didnt feel jokingly to me -obviously) pushed me with his foot - i lashed out because i was irritated and we ended up fighting over the bathtub and he was like you are so abusive you don't bite me like that in sex - that would be so hot but no you use violence and I constantly have to be like I use violence because you don't listen otherwise. He doesn't listen when I say stop or No (not in sexual things but outside of that) and so i get physical because that stops him.

A couple days later he was on top of me (both clothed) and he was tickling and i said stop it and he wouldnt and he was just being annoying so i was gonna reach up and pinch his nose to be equally annoying... well my hand slipped or i miscalculated or something and i ended up hitting his lip with my thumb. He got off me called me an "abusive cunt" and slammed the office door and then threw something at the door (i was going to immediately kick him out if i found out it was the cat.... it wasn't but still)

He later apologized for calling me that and said he acted out of anger but I was like do you really want to be with somebody who you see as "an abusive cunt" because thats a hard line that you crossed. (he didnt know it was a hard line... like how the fuck is that not? Yeah you call me names but cunt is not one of them) Do you really want to be in that relationship? He has been sleeping in the office since then.... (it doesnt help that his new job his hours are 12-8:30 ) After that i think he realized how fucked up our situation has been. And he has been working on it... or at least i think he has. He realized that i wanted to be done with the relationship.... like very done. He was like we should do something this weekend together and then followed it up with because maybe we can fix the cracks and not have you leave.

I then got sick when we were supposed to go to an Oktoberfest. and then he missed 4 days at work. One night when i was coughing he came in the bedroom and scared the shit outta me... (i coughed in my sleep and he asked if i was okay... i wasnt) and was like i dont want to be a meat cutter anymore.. but ive been doing this for years how do i change? everything is entry level and doesnt pay enough... (in having conversations with coworkers i'm realizing how lucky I got moving up to CHQ.... I'm comfortable and able to cover if he has issues covering his portion... it means i can't save like i would otherwise... but still i can be fine)

His hours suck but he is at least making money. We haven't had any substantial conversations since the two fights. we have gone out and done things but we dont touch. not really. its been 2 weeks since we have kissed, held hands or any of that. It's so isolating to have this happen. i have my cat but she also favors him. :( I was kicking her out of the office (she is a minion of chaos) and he held his hand out this morning... so i held it for a little bit because i didnt know what he wanted.

We went out to a friends going away party. (I was still sick) and he didn't get a beer.. nor did he want any. he just wanted food. which was fair. It had been a long day lol. but i think there has finally been a connection made about how i feel about drinking and his BS. He knows he has a problem and he is wanting my help with it. He will drink on his weekends and if he comes home with beer he has told me that i am allowed to hid it. He drank saturday night (because 1 i gave him $$ back from what he gave me because it was $20 i didnt care and 2 then he also found a 20 in the wash...) I was upset. I was like oh cool i see where your priorities lie. You come into money and immediately get beer. His response was I want to go to bed at a reasonable time not when you are getting up for the day and have you think i'm an idiot. even with drinking he didnt go to bed until almost 5 am.... Alcohol supposedly lets him sleep earlier.... but thats not true... i have so many photos where he fell asleep in his chair.

I have chatted with one person about most of this (some of this has been chatted with to other people...) but she was like it sounds like you are already checked out of the relationship and i thought on that and honestly it does. I both am and am not. It has been 3 years with him... but this year has been eye opening. Mostly because of said friend getting engaged. It has opened my eyes about what i am seeing in my own life and my own relationship.

Yeah i have been comparing my relationship to theirs. (we arent the same but we are. But we arent. Its weird. ) But thinking of everything that they are working on in regards to their wedding is making me think of how lonely i really am. Gamer doesnt care about anything enough to make a decision so most of it would be left to me. I would be doing everything alone. and that is overwhelming.

I still dont know if i really want to get married. I dont know if i trust him enough for that. My mom already advised me not to combine our assets and that we should have a joint account but not to give him access to mine. I am not engaged to him but like their engagement made me think about the long term and what do i want. I want him to care about the little things. I want him to do little things. I want handwritten notes or a long paragraph on the days that i have something big happening. He did kinda that at the beginning but he stopped and i told him that i wanted that but that i needed to give him time and let him figure out when to send those messages and stop bugging him for them because if he sent them then it would only be in response to me asking him and not genuine.

My love languages are words and actions. His is touch. Neither of us are happy in this because i am not a touchy person and he isnt a wordy person...

I know he does little things for me but he also doesnt.

Is my relationship worth saving? Is this the relationship i want to be in for the rest of my life? I dont know what the answer is to that. I need to stop complaining so much about everything that is going on.

I need to stop complaining to the one person who understands the most. The one person who knows him because she lived with him at one point. Because she is his brothers fiancee. I feel like i only tell her of the bad things... not the good. I only see the bad and i dont talk about the good. I dont talk about the fun times we have together.

About the time we carved pumpkins and mine looked derpy for absolutely no reason. About the times we have gone hiking together (not often... we need to go more) about our adventures to the coast. It doesnt feel like we have done anything together this year because i have been sick or he has been sick. We didnt celebrate our 3 year in january because i was sick. we didnt do anything for his birthday because i left to go to a wedding, we didnt do anything for my birthday because he didnt have it off. 27 is for cleaning house... does this mean...?

My parents dont show affection at all... The only time i can remember them showing affection in front of me was for photos.... they dont even hold hands when going about. My mother paid for her engagement ring. My dad proposed with his running shoes (showing her he wasnt going to run away... it is a cute story) I dont want to pay for everything. I want this to be a partnership. If he doesnt pay as much can he contribute in other ways, but he brought up that i dont ever cook for us and he wants me to cook more...

I dont know what i want anymore....

#tired #tumbling down to hell #asexual

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