#people in my brain
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WHO EATS SALSA ON TACOS YOU HEATHEN
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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Grief
ref photo by @jawsstone
#artists on tumblr#my friend let me use a really gorgeous photo they took#it made my brain go brrr#and i had to draw this#i usually take my own reference pics so it was cool to work from someone else's#enjoyed drawing this a lot#despite the subject matter#i saw a pretty scene of a narrow alley#with white stairs stained black from people walking on them#and somehow it took my brain here#grief visits every house
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beanbag chair psychology
#dtawing#homestuck#karkat vantas#rose lalonde#she's asking because she also has autism#WISH we'd seen more of these two interacting on the meteor they both love pretending to know about other people's brains#this took me like two days to make for no reason#i don't draw comics often#because usually by the time ive finished them ive rolled the punchline around in my brain so many times im worried its not funny anymore#but regardless#the Funny
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#ordinary photo of yeti#they made astarion in a lab for me to be obsessed with.#like hottest man in game for me is halsin truthfully. astarion is my shitty little white dog with separation anxiety who bites people.#very different things. if i say i'm doing a playthrough as astarion that's when you put me down#main factor motivating me not to is i need to hear neil newbon's voice acting at least once a minute or i die.#i've got a dark urge concept rattling around the brain but i should maybe self-impose a gaming break and take care of. responsibilities 😐#babbling
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Please do things to strengthen your attention span. It stresses me out so much when people just accept their small attention spans and cater to them without any acknowledgment that they are making it worse by doing that.
There is a reason attention spans are worse now and it didn’t just happen by chance. Media and the internet designed it that way and we went with it because it was easier.
Some of us with ADHD and brain fog need to meet ourselves where we’re at and exercise our attention span by watching a two minute video instead of a one minute video. Some of us need to sit down and read a novel with our phones turned off.
Wherever you’re at, just realize that not doing things that feel hard will keep making your attention span worse.
#my text posts#are people going to be mad about this one?#I have adhd and brain fog and still believe this
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the gang's all here
#when werner said something like 'i don't know what i did wrong! I followed all the rules' + 'my brain just doesn't work like everyone else's#then i understood. doesn't excuse the white people crimes but it IS an observation i thought was worth mentioning on 'the autism site'#i got more mh shitposts in my noggin btw so take cover#monster hunter wilds#monster hunter#mhwilds#mh#rook roars!
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Sex is ok but like. have you tried good pasta
#asexual#im eating spaghetti rn so#my brain with most foods:#we'll be very particular about this and separate it into little sections and only actually enjoy this particular bit like once every month-#my brain with pasta: good. very good. give me more now#never had sex but based on other peoples opinions on it its at least rated ok by most people i think
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Had a silly thought about hypothetical cat curse shenanigans with @dark-lord-of-awesomeness's How to Cat Burglar a Family ;)
Bonus doodle!!
#I hope ya like? :')#Do living things count as stealable? It seems intent based but I couldnt remember if itd come up. Maybe a philosophical nightmare if it did#just had the mental image of Stanley grabbing Dipper/Mabel from Shermie. turning into a cat & everyone SCRAMBLING to catch the falling baby#Also based on the bit in Gnome Gemulets where Stan mentions fighting off Shermie to keep holding the twins when they were born :]#Though having already co-parented like 2 (3?) kids and not being completely alone like canon Stan. I wonder if/how Cat Stan would differ?#Also Shermie in his leather jacket (or at least another one he transferred the cat patch onto) I loved that bit its so cute 😭#Almost drew Stan as fully grey as a cat but iirc cats don't go grey in the same way as people. So i went with lil grey flecks. Geezer cat#This fic lives rent free in my brain truly 💙💙💙#How to Cat Burglar a Family#Gravity Falls#Fan art#Stanley Pines#Shermie Pines#Stan Pines#Sherman Pines#Grunkle Stan#Fanart#Cat Stan#GF fanart#Comic#Artists on tumblr#My art
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It's times like these, when Grian refers to snails as molluscs and gastropods, that I remember he has a degree in marine biology. In retrospect this makes the fishing arc funnier I think.
#me vibing#hermitcraft#grian#not that people outside marine bio don't know snails are molluscs#it's just. not the world's most common knowledge i feel like#so it unlocked the 'hermit real world achievements' memory file in my brain
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.
I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.
Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.
No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.
But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?
#this is the sort of observation I make here that people#go off and write their thesis about#so while I’m not expecting to be the first or cleverest person to say this#if you do use it as a springboard#tell me if you get a good grade ok?#I’ll be tremendously proud of you#like if you take a shitpost and use it to craft deep attentive thought on something important#I just think that’s probably the most noble use of a human brain#it makes me want to take off my hat and slam it to the ground in inexpressible emotion#it’s a cowboy hat btw#and I say something like GOLDURN IT THAT KID SURE HAS DELIVERED.#ok so don’t deny me this#especially if you correct me after a long research journey#GOLDURN IT THE KID IS RIGHT!
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fob saying "it's been 17 years since we played with My Chemical Romance" is so important cuz idk about the rest of y'all but I got so caught up in the dnp anticipation that I forgot the original reason this day was a big deal was FOB and MCR playing together again!!
#bonus brain damage for OG emos: 17 years is two years younger than I am!#TO BE CLEAR I WAS NOT THERE I WAS WATCHING A LIvESTREAM LOL#i actually originally said that in the post but then was like 'well they weren't the ones livestreaming so that doesn't make sense. they#simply said it.' 💀 but now like five people think i was there lol#i said this#fob#mcr#wwwy#when we were young fest#when we were young 2024#no but seriously imagine it#october 19th#fall out boy#my chemical romance#dnp#phan
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Casual Chaos: Tim Drake’s Makeup Stream
Danny, known to the internet as Nebula, had been teasing a special stream for weeks. Fans were buzzing with excitement and theories, especially when the announcement popped up: “Doing My Boyfriend’s Makeup!” Naturally, the chat erupted into chaos. Danny was pretty private about his love life, so this reveal had the fandom on edge.
When the stream finally went live, Danny greeted his audience with his usual laid-back grin. “Okay, today’s the day. Let’s see if I’m any good at this,” he said, spinning a makeup brush between his fingers. “But first, let me introduce you to my boyfriend.”
The camera panned, and there he was—Tim Drake, sitting there as if this was the most normal thing in the world. No big introduction, no fanfare. Just Tim, giving a small, nonchalant wave.
“WAIT. IS THAT TIM DRAKE???”
“Like… THE Tim Drake??”
“No way he’s dating Nebula, what is happening???”
Danny, fully aware of the chaos brewing in the comments, didn’t even acknowledge it. He just turned to Tim. “Ready for your makeover, babe?”
Tim shrugged, totally calm. “Let’s do it.”
As Danny started applying makeup, the chat kept freaking out, but the two of them acted like it was just another Saturday. In Gotham, though, it was a different story. The Bat's group chat was blowing up:
Dick: “TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.”
Jason: “How does a nerd like you land Nebula of all people???”
Steph: “I AM CRYING. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!!”
Damian: “This is unacceptable. Drake, I demand an explanation.”
Bruce: [Typing…]
But Tim? Unfazed. He ignored the constant buzzing of his phone and sat still as Danny carefully lined his eyes and added a touch of mascara, keeping up casual chatter with the stream.
“You know,” Danny said, holding up a shade of lipstick, “Tim’s got this effortless model thing going on. I’m just enhancing what’s already there.”
Tim raised an eyebrow, smirking. “I didn’t exactly sign up to be your runway star.”
“Wait… he’s actually REALLY pretty??”
“Tim Drake is hot, confirmed.”
“LOOK AT HIS CHEEKBONES OMG.”
As Danny finished the look, adding some extra blush and a light gloss, the reaction was immediate. The chat was losing it. Tim glanced at himself in the mirror, barely reacting. “Well… I don’t hate it.”
Danny leaned back, admiring his work. “Not bad, right?”
Meanwhile, back in Gotham, the bats were still going wild.
Steph: “Tim, you better show up to every gala looking like this from now on.”
Jason: “You’ve been holding out on us with this face, man.”
Dick: “This is ICONIC.”
Bruce: “We’ll need to discuss this later.”
Tim finally glanced at his phone and snorted at all the messages. “They’re never going to let this go, are they?”
Danny just grinned at the camera. “Probably not. So… next time, you'll do my makeup, right?”
The chat, of course, exploded all over again.
#brain dead#dead tired#tim drake#danny phantom#batfam#dc x dp#danny fenton#danny is a famous streamer#but this is totally unrelated to my previous streamer post#tim would look absolutely amazing in full glam and i dont take criticism#i think he'd also be pretty decent at doing dannys makeup#surprise reveals#i think people see danny as pretty untouchable regarding dating and stuff#so the fact that he's dating tim makes no sense at all but also the most sense ever#because of course its tim drake but also??? tim?? really??
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"adhd is the easiest disability to have" “sure plenty of people have adhd but most people are faking” “people are abusing the resources that WE need so that’s why i can’t get my adderall!”
there has been an artificial shortage of all adhd medication for the past 4 years in the US. every investigation into this shortage has returned with the unequivocal result that simply nobody thinks we need it enough to solve the problem.
so they point fingers at the “faker” gaming the system to get adderall who “thinks” they have adhd or is “abusing stimulants to get ahead” for a problem that Our system MANUFACTURED.
so we would be at each others throats instead of realizing that our government and big pharma is to blame for all of this. because their First priority is to punish addicts and to punish folks with adhd and to punish anyone who relies on medication. over everything else. even over profit.
#we are not enemies#people are not stealing your resources. the government wants you to believe this for a reason#you have so much in common with a guy on tnder selling his backstock ritalin than you EVER will with richard francis ceo of TEVA#when i’m out of meds do you know who has my back? the people with extra in my community. not the pharmacists with their hands tied.#not my insurance not my government not my doctors not the corporations hoarding resources like dragons#adhd#medication#ableism mention#ableism#stimulants#YOU HAVE TO KILL THE RICHARD NIXON IN YOUR BRAIN
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I would like to again big up libraries as safe spaces for people of all types!
I had a psychotic episode in my local library while I was in there working and had convinced myself that I was in a bubble dimension and if I left the library I would die, and that being what had happened to the librarian because I hadn't seen them in an hour (it's a small, local library. You can see the librarians desk from where I sit to work)
Now obviously they weren't dead, they were just in the little office that I couldn't see into.
I'm also lucky enough to be a very self aware psychotic, so I reached out to my support network to make sure I got home safely. But none of them could actually get me OUT of the library and I was still absolutely certain that if I stepped off the carpet and onto the tile, I would die.
So I got up, I made my way to the desk, I found the librarian and I said "I need your help. I'm having a psychotic episode and this is what I currently believe. Could you please come out from behind your desk and stand on the tiles so I can see it won't kill me?"
And they did. They didn't shame me, or laugh, or tell me it wasn't real. They said "Yeah, that must be scary." And thanked me when I admitted I'd thought them dead and been really upset about that because I liked them.
And then stood there on the tile, while I stood on the carpet, for ten minutes while I chatted shit and tried to build up my courage to step on the tile, just in case. Including telling me that if this happened again and I needed to call someone, to disregard the usual 'don't call people in the library' rule and just do so after I promised I was going to be calling my husband the second I was on the tile so he could safely walk me home.
(& so no one worries: my husband got me home safe, and a friend came to check on me a little while later and brought me food and I'm fully Cognizant and out of it now)
I cannot imagine another place where I could approach someone and say that and not get the police or an ambulance called on me. Neither of which I needed or would have been helpful.
I cannot imagine another place where a member of staff would stand somewhere for ten minutes to make sure I felt safe enough leaving.
I cannot imagine another place where I would not only be explicitly welcomed back, but be told "If this happens again here, disregard our normal rules to take care of yourself."
I cannot imagine another place on this earth that I would feel safe enough returning to, 3 days later, after an episode like that.
Libraries are a fucking Godssend and should be protected at all costs!
#personal#okay to reblog#public libraries#support libraries#i love libraries#psychosis#actually psychotic#also still very very glad my brain was lying and that librarian isn't dead#they're good people#husbandtag
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