#people can have different experiences in life

[osakanone]

Writer here.

Actually to hell with this false equivalence and the advice.

Advice is a form of social nostalgia. We learn something, but we remove the bad parts to help us remember the thing. We simplify it down.

When we pass it on, we conveniently forget to put the shitty parts back on, because that's how memory works and its part of how we value advice appropriateness of past experiences.

We do this even when someone's situation and context is totally unlike our own and we do so with confidence until we learn not to.

The big lesson?

Life doesn't generalize. Neither does context.

Experience does not generalize. That's literally how and why people are different from one another. We get to know people unlike ourselves so we can see differing contexts, so we know when our experiences do not generalize. So we can see beyond ourselves.

Some people desperately want to think all of life generalizes, but that's the same mentality which produces people who think they can personal choices their way out of any imaginable problem.

As an example, a thousand Signalis like tragedies doesn't prepare someone for a dead spouse.

A million Disco Elysiums cannot undo decades of catastrophic self-hatred.

Its not like a fire-drill where after doing it enough you go into autopilot with some kind of readiness and automaticity even if it claims to sell you that fantasy.

It can put tools in your hand, but only if your context is close enough that the tools are actionable and useful.

If the realization is not useful, you can't act on it.

Sometimes it is, sometimes its not, often because minor contextural factors will intervene.

What if you have a lot of complex feelings about both a dead spouse and your concept of gender and its all too muddled to process in Signalis and it messes with your ability to process your grief?

What if you have a lot of complex feelings about an alcoholic parent and Harry makes you forgive things you shouldn't forgive?

People are influenced by media, and they do do things like this.

Sometimes instinctively, they even know they shouldn't and will drop something.

Like don't get me wrong, advice is helpful sometimes but its ultimately still advice in the form of roleplay with number of players zero.

The real thing is not an abstraction.

Sometimes what people actually need isn't piles and piles of tools, but distance. To know things can be different, or just not to think about what's happening so they can get things done that will help their situation. To know there is something worth working towards. That it isn't going to rain forever.

Sometimes what people want is catharsis or just relief or to feel seen rather than to learn or be told something or shown a different way to think or be given actionable tools.

They just want to escape so there's a reward to getting things done that let them continue to exist. A carrot on the end of a stick so things feel worth doing.

Sometimes people aren't willing to suffer to get there because they're already so depleted, and get those lessons because they just want a carrot to only be a carrot.

You might say that unreasonable or unrealistic or even childish but many people don't get a controlled environment in their heads to begin with (and potentially not even one in their lives) so your bit about a controlled sandbox doesn't generalize either.

The sheer distance of how far away two human contexts can even be is beyond imagination in its nuanced emergent subtleties.

Nothing in our evolution has prepared us for the era we live in.

Lots of people as a defense mechanism will struggle to connect with others who have difficult experiences as a means of limiting the incoming pain as they're already saturated.

That's not going to help someone connect to a story or care enough to complete it.

Fiction can be useful to bridge those gaps or even bring people closer, but it won't make people whole again, especially if they don't even know what being whole is or if they don't have space to walk.

Remember Maslow's higherarchy?

Think of where you have to be for personal growth to happen.

Lots of people begin from below the ground up, not even knowing what experiences they didn't get to have or what lessons they weren't taught as children, assuming they were even taught any.

The context where your advice genuinely helps?

Not everybody is there.

Please remember this.

Take care.

whenever people say they can't watch/play/read anything slightly upsetting or scary or challenging because it's... upsetting or scary or challenging all i can think of is this lol

[bapeach]

Accidental love

Another long fic and I'm honestly very proud of it! I don't know anything about torn ACL's or anything so if stuff is wrong, just ignore it. I hope you enjoy! Constructive criticism is always welcome :D Find my masterlist here :) Pairing(s): Paige Bueckers x female!reader  Word count: 9.1k+  Warnings: depression, life-changing accident, cursing, happy ending Summary: After a life-changing accident, Y/N finds peace in her new life, but when Paige Bueckers faces her own injury, their worlds collide. ------------

Paige Bueckers

Of course, it was a name you knew. You’re a student at UConn, so if you didn’t know of her, well, you’d be living under a rock. Paige Bueckers is UConn’s star player. The golden student. The future of women’s basketball. A legend in the making… 

You could go on and on about the things you’ve heard about her. She always seemed to be present in your life in one way or another. A mumble in the hallway as you go to class, an edit on your TikTok fyp, a celebration post on UConn’s Instagram page…

You don’t know the girl personally, having only been in the same room as her a few times when you went and watched some of her games. You’ve heard a lot of good things about her. You respected her grind, the way she gave her all to basketball and was a great team leader. You’ve also heard she’s a sweetheart off the court and always tries to make people comfortable. She’s also really pretty, which you’re sure is a contributing factor to why she’s so loved. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. 

You’d had your own fair share of admirers because of your looks. You’d caught plenty of girls fawning over you as they ogled your muscles, giggling when you sent them a flirty wink. If you were honest, you were quite the player when you first came to university. You’d messed around with a few girls, never really getting into anything too serious. 

You just didn’t have time for relationships. You were too busy studying biomedical engineering while also having a job and hobbies. And boy, did you have hobbies. Ever since you were young, you were a very active kid. Your parents always had to beg you to come inside, only being able to persuade you with promises of weekends at the indoor playground/kid gym.

Growing up, you stayed active. You went for a run every morning and swimming at least once a week. You didn’t join your school’s sports teams because how could you only choose one? You spend every weekend doing a different sport until you run out, only to start over. Basketball, boxing, soccer, baseball, hockey... you did it all. Your all-time favorite, though? Rock climbing.

You think there’s nothing better in this world than rock climbing after a long week. Wind ruffling your hair as the bright sun shines on your back. Climbing as high as you can, your muscles burning as you strain them to their limit, your chest tight as you gasp for breath. But it’s all worth it, because in the end, when you reach the top and have a full view of the horizon? It feels like you’re on top of the world. Like you’re untouchable and all your hopes and dreams are within reach.

The thought of climbing always filled you with warmth and excitement. Even after climbing the same rocks over and over, you still felt in awe every time you made it to the top. Knowing that no matter what, at the end of the day, you could always count on the dusty stones beneath your fingertips always made a smile grow on your face. 

Well. That was before the accident, at least. Now the thought of it makes you feel a dull throb in your chest. 

The last time you went climbing, you’d gone with some fellow enthusiasts. It was a group of strangers you’d met at the indoor climbing hall. Their little club ranged from new climbers to experts, and you’d clicked with them immediately. The guide you went with was a middle-aged man who had over 20 years of experience, so you were excited to maybe learn some new things. He was a really nice guy, happy to see someone your age be so excited about his favorite activity. When you partnered up with him, you didn’t expect anything to go wrong. Daredevils like yourself never really think too much about the consequences of your actions or things that could go wrong, otherwise you’d be too afraid to do half of the things you do. So that day was like no other. At first at least.

When you had reached 3/4ths of the climb, it happened. Even now, 2 years later, you’re not sure what exactly happened. You only know that one moment you were gripping onto the rocky wall and the next you were falling. When you think about it, it all feels like a dream. It didn’t take you long before you hit the ground, but it somehow felt like ages.

You remember how distraught your guide was when you finally woke up in the hospital. You didn’t understand anything he was saying at first. He was crying too hard, stumbling over his words as he kept apologizing. Something about malfunctioning equipment? 

When the doctor walked in, you immediately knew something was very wrong. Your chest filled with an unbearable ache when you saw the sad frown on his face. After that, everything is pretty much a blur. You didn't hear anything after the words “paralyzed” and “never walk again” were spoken. Everything became muffled as your ears started buzzing. You felt your chest tighten, and this time not in a good way. You were drowning on dry land.

The next months were some of the darkest moments of your life. You felt like your world was ending. And it kind of was. Everything you thought you were, gone in a matter of seconds. Bound to a wheelchair for the rest of your life. You shut everyone out at first, but soon realized you couldn’t bear all of this alone. Your family was your greatest support. They were your greatest fans, always celebrating your wins, and now they were here to mourn your greatest losses with you as well. 

You lost quite a lot of friends after the accident. It was hard being friends with your sporty friends when you could only think about how you wished you could join them. Your friendships didn’t all end on a bad note, though. You knew that if anything was wrong, you could still call them, and they’d show up in a heartbeat. 

You also gained a few friendships. Some people you met at therapy, support groups, online forums,... You also found a friend in the guide you were with that day. While you hated him at first, too filled with pain to think clearly, you’d talked to him at a later point. He apologized profusely once more, but you forgave him quickly. It’s not like it was his fault. Besides, it was hard to hate him, the way he looked at you with so much guilt. He had kind but wise eyes, prominent smile lines, and his hair was graying a little, but he was still full of life and filled with passion. You knew this accident would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he didn’t deserve that, so you made sure to stay in touch with him. If only to let him know you were doing well and make sure he was too.

You still often think about the days when you could be wild and free. In the two years since the incident, you’ve changed a lot. You’ve calmed down greatly, becoming a lot more mature and wise. While you used to be the go-to friend for a crazy time, you were now the friend people came to for advice. You missed your younger self, but still felt like she was a part of you. You’d gone through so much, the change was only natural. And honestly? You were proud of the person you’d become. Sure, you weren’t perfect and still had your days when you felt like you couldn’t breathe and like the world was against you. But overall, you were at peace with your life. It’s also not like you’d fully lost your playful self. You still loved teasing your friends, pulling pranks, and causing mischief.

So yeah, while you didn’t know Paige personally, you definitely felt like you knew a lot about her from the media, the people around you, and even some of her friends. You’d met Azzi a year ago when she got injured during a game. She’d been destroyed when she realized she wouldn’t be playing again any time soon. Having to find something new to do, she’d made her way to the library, where she bumped into you. You started talking, and before long you two became pretty good friends. You listened to her situation and told her what you’d been through. 

At first, she’d apologized profusely, feeling bad about how she complained about not being able to play for a few months while you’d never get to do your favorite things ever again. You’d made sure the younger girl knew it was okay, and that you didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t be upset just because you’d also gone through something. You’d spent hours with the girl talking about the adventures you used to go on and how much your life had changed. You made sure to tell her how happy you were despite everything, letting her know that no matter what, she’d be okay. 

While you don’t talk as much as you used to anymore, now that she’s back on the court, you still text each other every so often, smiling as you pass each other on campus. You didn’t blame her for becoming busy, you were excited to see her play with that bright smile on her face. You made sure to cheer her on and text her congratulations on her wins and “You did well” messages when the team lost. The girl appreciates you more than you know. Without you, she wouldn’t be where she is now. She’d learned so much from you.

Somehow, during your whole friendship, you’d never really met the team. Not that you really felt the need to. She had her friends, and you had yours. There was no need to mix up the groups. That being said, you didn’t really think you’d ever meet Paige or become close with her.

You were curious, though. As you wheel out of the library, you hear Paige’s name all around you. Two girls leaning in close as one gasps her name. A group of guys with their mouths dropped open as a video on their phone says the star athlete’s name. A professor walking past with a frown, mumbling, “... yeah, Paige Bueckers…”. 

When you reach your dorm, you open your laptop and search “Paige Bueckers” on Twitter. You immediately feel a pit in your stomach. The first tweet you see is a video with the caption “I’m gonna cry, I feel so bad for her”. You click the video and see why the basketball player was being talked about everywhere. At first, it looks like a normal clip from their most recent game. You see Nika passing the ball to Aaliyah, who passes it to a sprinting Azzi, who finally passes it off to Paige. You blink, and suddenly the blonde is on the floor, clutching her knee as tears stream down her face. You can see the worry and fear on her teammates’ faces, and the distraught but knowing look on Paige’s. A torn ACL. No doubt about it.

For a moment, your own accident flashes in your mind. The weightlessness as you were falling. Waking up and realizing you can’t move. You shake away the thoughts, blinking the haze from your eyes. You grab your phone to text the girl something, anything to make her feel better, but you pause. Right now, the last thing she’ll care about is a stranger texting her she’ll be okay when they probably don’t have any idea what she’s going through. Your thumb hovers over Azzi’s contact, but you end up closing the app. The brunette is probably too busy to talk, being too worried about her best friend. “I’ll talk to her soon,” you think to yourself before going on about your day.

You were right about talking to her soon. Only a week after the latest UConn tragedy, you see her. You were tucked away in your favorite corner of the library, a worn copy of your favorite book lying in your lap. You were surrounded by colorful pens, post-its, stickers, and tabs as you added new scribbles in the margins of the book (don’t worry, you’d gotten your own copy after the first time you read it).

Finishing a tiny doodle on the inside of the cover, you look up and see the younger girl. Beaming that wide smile of hers that could light up a dark room. The type of smile that makes you return the gesture before you even realize what’s happening. When she reaches your table, she greets you happily before looking back. It’s only then that you realize she’s brought company.

There she is. UConn’s basketball miracle in all her glory. Paige Bueckers. 

You look her up and down. She’s wearing her blue UConn tracksuit, her hair is in a bun, and she’s holding two crutches under her arms. Her usually bright blue eyes have become a darker color as a frown is set on her face. She didn’t want to be there, she wanted to be in her room, wallowing in her bed with a pint of ice cream. She doesn’t understand why Azzi felt the need to drag her out of the comfort of her own dorm to go meet some stranger that would give her the same stupid pitying looks she’d been getting from everyone around her. 

“Hey Ace,” you send her a grin before looking back towards the injured girl. “Hey, I’m Y/N,” you nod at her. She only frowns at you until Azzi turns and sends her a pointed look. “Paige,” the blonde sighs. You hide your amused smile, knowing she’d get even more annoyed if she thought you were making fun of her. 

“I figured it was finally time some of my favorite people met!” the brunette beams. When you catch her eye, you have a silent conversation with her. You knew why she was here with Paige. She was hoping you’d be able to help her best friend the way you’d helped her. You can tell by Azzi’s body language that she’s slightly on edge, not sure how you’d react. You send her a reassuring wink as you start talking, “About time! I’ve heard a lot about you, Paige,” you say gently. The girl only hums in response. 

You see Azzi frown for a second before her signature easy smile makes its way back to her face. “I was thinking we could all go for coffee,” she says, looking at you with hope in her eyes. “Sounds good to me!” you grin as you start packing up your stuff. Once you’re done, you glance over at Paige, who is looking around with a bored expression. You’re not offended at her not wanting to spend time with you. You knew what it was like to feel your world crash, and you’d also tried pushing people away. The blonde maybe didn’t want to be around you right now, but you’d make sure she realized that she’d be okay.

You put your bag on your lap before wheeling your way around the table so you could be right beside the basketball players. You see Paige’s eyes widen as she takes you in, only now having realized you were in a wheelchair. You let her observe you for a moment, seeing her emotions swim in her eyes. You could tell she was shocked and a bit embarrassed, but you also saw her frustrations as she clenched her jaw and started frowning again. “So that’s why Azzi wanted me to meet her. Just so she could tell me that whatever I’m going through is nothing compared to what she has to live with,” Paige thinks as she tries not to roll her eyes. 

You simply send her a smile. You don’t mind the anger that seems to radiate off of the girl. You know she’ll probably say and do stuff she doesn’t mean in rage, and you don’t mind being the person all that fury is aimed at. You know that at the end of the day, she won’t mean any of it, and you’d rather she tries to hurt your feelings than her sunshine best friend.

“Let’s go then, shall we?” you say with a raised brow and a tiny smirk before you start wheeling away. You lead the way through campus to your favorite coffee shop, making small talk with Azzi. You try to include Paige as well, but you don’t talk to her all that much, not wanting to overwhelm her. When you arrive at the shop, the brunette holds the door for you and Paige with a smile, her eyes twinkling. You thank her before following the blonde in. 

“Your usual?” Azzi asks as she walks in behind you. “Yes please, thanks Princess,” you say with a playful wink, a wide grin on your face. The brunette shakes her head in amusement, her eyes crinkling as she smiles. You make your way towards a free table in the back, waving hi to the barista that always calls you his favorite regular. Paige follows not long after, while Azzi waits in line to order the drinks. Once Paige sits down with a huff, slightly out of breath as she rubs the spots where she leaned against the crutches, you don’t say anything at first. The silence isn’t exactly fun, but it’s not a bad silence either.

When your friend makes her way to your table, you smile softly at her as you accept your drink. “Thanks, Ace.” “Of course,” she replies, her voice soft. She looks over at Paige for a moment before clearing her throat. “Listen, P, I know you’re hurting. Not just physically but mentally too. And I know how you feel like it’s the end of the world, but I promise you, it’s not. When I went through my injury and couldn’t play, I spiraled too. But then I met Y/N, and she made me realize that everything would be okay. I know you’re not happy about being here, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re not allowed to be sad, but please just… talk to her. Y/N is an amazing friend to have, not just because she knows what it’s like to lose stuff, but just because she listens. She really listens, and she has a way of making you feel a little lighter on days when things seem impossible.” 

You look at her as she’s speaking, your smile soft as your chest feels warm. It was nice to hear her say such sweet things about you and trust that you’ll be able to help someone else she cares so much about. 

Azzi turns to you before continuing. “And Y/N, please don’t think we’re only here because I want you to help P. I’ve always wanted to introduce you two. I feel like you two could be great friends!” You lean over to grab her hand and give it a little squeeze. Of course, to anyone else it might’ve looked weird, the way you and Azzi hadn’t spoken in a while, and she only seemed to come back to you for help. You knew that wasn’t the case, though. The brunette was the definition of kindness. I mean, she has the nickname “The People’s Princess” for a reason. You didn’t feel offended at all, knowing this only proved how much she trusted you and how much you’d helped her in the past.

Paige’s jaw stays clenched a little longer, her brows furrowed. “I don’t need her help. I don’t need anyone’s help,” she thinks angrily to herself. When she looks up at her best friend, however, she falters. She knows Azzi doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. “I guess… if Azzi speaks this highly of her, then… she can’t be that bad.” You see her soften as she gives the brunette a soft nod. She turns to you, sighing softly before giving you a tentative smile. You grin at her as mischief swirls in your eyes. “Yeah, we’re gonna work out just fine,” you think.

As you drink your coffee, you talk about everything that’s been happening in your life lately, asking Azzi for details on what she’s been up to since you last talked. You make sure to ask Paige questions too, getting to know her more as well. You keep the conversation away from basketball or your own accident. There was a time and place for that conversation, and it wasn’t here and now. 

You stay in the coffee shop for hours, just chatting about everything and nothing. You manage to make both girls laugh a lot, one time even making Paige laugh so hard, her coffee comes out of her nose. She’d looked pretty embarrassed, her face turning a bright red, but she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. 

You’re in the middle of telling Paige a story about something you and Azzi had done a few months ago when the brunette’s phone went off. You pause your conversation as you look at her with a raised eyebrow. “Oh shoot! I gotta go, uh, do you guys mind if I head out?” she rambles, already getting up. You look at Paige, who’s already looking at you. You grin at each other before turning to Azzi. “Don’t worry, we’ll play nice,” you smirk. 

Once the brunette leaves, you think for a moment Paige will go back to her quiet self, but you’re wrong. “So? What happened next?” she asks, her eyes wide in a childlike wonder. Warmth blossoms in your chest. The people weren’t wrong when they praised the type of person the star athlete is. She was sweet, paid full attention to what you were saying at all times, and she was funny as hell. 

You continue the story, making the blonde chuckle and shake her head in disbelief. “There’s just no way Azzi did that.” You shrug with a smirk, “It’s all true.” She looks at you a little longer, eyes squinted, as she tries to find out if you're lying. When she realizes you’re not, she chuckles again as she leans back. 

You continue to look at her and notice her demeanor change. Her smile slowly leaves her face as her body becomes tense again. Somehow you’d managed to not make her think about basketball or her injury the whole time you were at the coffee shop, but now it seemed to all come back in one big wave. 

She frowns, leaning forward as she hesitantly meets your eye. “So… Are you finally gonna tell me to just suck it up and stop moping about my knee? Because at least there’s a chance I’ll still be able to play?”

You look at her for a moment. “Nope.” You push away from the table as you start rolling your wheelchair to the door. “W-Wait, what?” You hear Paige stutter, her chair screeching from how hard she scoots it away from the table. You grin, hearing the clattering behind you as the blonde struggles to grab her crutches to follow you. You thank the girl holding the door open for you as you roll into the warm afternoon sun. Paige huffs as she finally reaches you, a frown on her face. You can tell she’s not really upset, though, the way her lips are curling into a small smile.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your dorm… well… wheel you to your dorm…? Wheel to your dorm as you hobble along…?” Your eyebrows are furrowed as you rub your chin, trying to find the right wording. You hear Paige snort beside you as she starts moving. “Oh my god, bro, just shut up.” 

You stick your tongue out in response before speeding up a bit to match her pace. You two don’t talk for a moment, enjoying the nice breeze as birds whistle around you. “I had fun with you today, Paige,” you smile up at the girl. She smiles back at you. “I had fun with you too… I’m sorry for how I acted earlier, it’s just… it’s been really hard,” the frown from earlier makes its way back onto her face.

“Don’t worry about it, P,” you say with a smile. The girl returns the gesture, hearing you call her her nickname. “So uhh, you don’t want to tell, y'know, all that stuff about how it’ll all be okay?” She asks hesitantly. “Would you believe me if I did?” You ask without any judgment in your voice. “I’m not sure… probably not,” she says as she looks over sheepishly. “Then there wouldn’t be any point to it, would there?” You tease. 

She looks back ahead of her, but you stare a little longer. “I’ll tell you about my accident some day, but not right now. I don’t wanna tell you and have you just end up feeling bad, y’know? We had a good day, let’s not ruin it with my sob story,” you grin as you send her a wink.

Once you reach the blonde’s dorm, she looks at you with reluctant eyes. She doesn’t want to say goodbye just yet. “Give me your number, we’ll text,” you demand, not really giving her a chance to say no, but you both know she wouldn’t. You see her relax a little as she hands you her phone. Once you’ve put your number in and added a cheeky contact name, you give her back her phone. 

“Text me, alright? I know where you live now, so if you don’t, I’ll come find you,” you say with a teasing wink. “Yes, ma’am,” she grins. You two say your goodbyes before you make your way to your own dorm. You haven’t even made it out of the basketball player’s hallway before you hear your phone ding. Your stomach flutters and your chest feels warm. You were excited about your new friendship and were looking forward to getting to know the legendary player on a deeper level. 

Over the following weeks, you two continue to text every day, hanging out in the coffee shop a few more times too. Sometimes Azzi joins you, but more often than not, it’s just the two of you. You learn more about Paige’s family and friends and how life was living in Minnesota while she also gets to know you more. 

You can’t say every day you spend with the blonde is an amazing day. The girl’s injury was still fresh, so she was often grumpy and sad and found it hard to enjoy having to sit still in some coffee shop or library when she’d rather be out there playing ball. You never got upset with her though, you’d been there before, and you knew she just needed some silent support. 

One afternoon, your phone rings, bringing a smile to your face. You know who’s calling before you even look. “Hey, P,” you say, your grin clear in your voice. “Hey Y/N/N, whatcha up to?” she mumbles. “Just hanging out in my dorm, watching a show. What ‘bout you?” you reply, leaning back on your bed as you stare at the ceiling. “M’bored, you should come over… Some of the girls are coming over later… You should meet them,” she says. When you close your eyes, you can see her sitting in her room, one hand holding her phone as the other rubs her neck shyly.

“Sounds nice,” you murmur. You hear a soft sigh of relief on the other end. “Yeah?” Paige’s voice crackles through the phone, her tone hopeful. “Mhm,” you hum, “I’ll be there in like… 20 minutes?” “Ugh, 20 whole minutes?” she whines as you chuckle at how childish she could be. “Oh, I’m sorry? Do you want me to put my wheelchair in turbo mode?” You joke. “Oh my goddd, stoppp,” she groans, muffling her chuckles behind her hand. 

When you first made jokes about your injury and wheelchair, Paige had completely frozen, not knowing how to react. It had taken her a while, but now she was used to your stupid little jokes and knew you made them because you liked making people laugh.

You laugh softly at her reaction before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. You get out of bed, hopping into your wheelchair with ease, having been through this whole thing what feels like a million times before. You quickly get ready, grabbing a book Azzi had been wanting to borrow for a while and putting it in your bag before heading out. 

You were excited to see Paige and Azzi again and were curious to see what their other friends were like. You were pretty nervous, though. You’d be the odd one out in their usual little bubble. You didn’t let that stop you from going over, though. You’d never really been afraid to take leaps, and weren’t going to start now either.

When you make it to Paige and Azzi’s dorm in record time (the wind must’ve helped you make it there so fast…), you let your presence be known with your signature knock. Paige opens the door almost immediately with her trademark grin. “Hey P,” you smile as you wheel your way inside. “Hey Y/N/N,” she replies. “So, when’re the others gonna be here?” you say as you follow her towards her room. “Don’t know. Half an hour maybe?” she shrugs as she plops down on her bed. You nod your head as you look around. 

You’d been in the blonde’s room a few times already, but you still liked seeing if anything had changed. Her room was filled with the usual clutter, clothes thrown on the chair in the corner, a few water bottles next to her bed,...

She pats the space next to her, inviting you in. You wheel closer before heaving yourself onto the bed. Blue eyes follow your every move, ready to jump into action if you need help. Once you’re comfortable, you lean back and smile at her. “Grey's Anatomy?” you ask, your head tilted in question. Paige’s face immediately lights up as she leans over to grab her laptop. You continue the show where you’d left off last time before you hear commotion in the living room. 

You look over at Paige, who looks back at you with a pout on her face. You chuckle, sitting up a little straighter to hop back into your wheelchair. Once you’re seated, you wait for the blonde to grab her crutches and lead the way. You laugh softly at her huffing and puffing, knowing she’d rather watch her show right now than hang out with her team.

When you make it to the living room, you see KK, Nika, Ice, and Azzi chatting as they shrug off their jackets. When they notice Paige and you, they quiet down. “Y/N! Hey, I didn’t know you were here,” Azzi beams at you. “Guys, this is Y/N, the girl I’ve told you about, the one that helped me during my recovery,” she says cheerfully. KK, Nika, and Ice smile kindly at you before introducing themselves. 

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you guys,” you smile. “Only good things, I hope?” Nika teases. “Meh,” you reply with a smirk. The girls laugh before finding a spot to sit as you guys hang out. They leave 2 spots open on the couch for Paige and you, making you send them a thankful smile. 

You sit down and get to know the girls a little better. You could see why the UConn team was such a close-knit group. The girls were funny, sweet, and protective and treated each other like family. 

After a while, KK and Ice get bored and decide to turn on Paige’s PlayStation to play Fortnite. You continue to talk to everyone, laughing at the funny stories the girls tell you about Paige, trying to embarrass her. The blonde’s face turns a bright red as she complains about them being jerks, but her bright smile doesn’t leave her face. Your heart feels like it’s grown two sizes with how happy you’re feeling.

“Oh wait, Ace, I’ve got that book you asked for,” you say. You look towards your bag, seeing it near KK. “Hey KK, d’you mind grabbing my bag for me?” you ask the gaming girl. “Hm?” she hums distractedly. “Grab it yourself, bro,” she says, completely focused on the game. You see Azzi open her mouth to say something, but you hold up your hand to stop her. You send her an evil grin as mischief swirls around in your eyes. You make your face neutral, maybe even a little pouty, as you let out a sad sigh, “Alright.” 

You grab onto your wheelchair a little louder than necessary as you lean forward to move into it. KK’s head whips around so fast, you think she might’ve given herself whiplash. “WAIT, NO!” she yells, her eyes wide as she scrambles to get up to grab it for you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone move as fast as her at that moment. 

The girls around you slap their hands in front of their mouths to stifle their giggles. The younger girl looks at them with a pouty frown, feeling bad for forgetting you couldn’t easily get up to grab something. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles as she hands you the book. You send her a wink and a grin, letting her know you were just joking. You weren't offended about the fact she seemed to have forgotten. It showed you that the girls didn’t just see you as someone with a disability.

She sits back down next to Ice, sticking her tongue out at the still laughing girl. “s’not funny,” she mutters, staring at the TV as she continues the game. You could get used to hanging out with these girls. You loved the way they constantly teased each other, but never went too far. Many people were too scared to make any type of jokes around you, too focused on your impairment to realize you were also just a person. 

20 minutes go by before a phone rings. You recognize the ringtone as Paige’s and look towards the sound. Her phone is lying on the table near Ice and KK, who both look over for a split second before their attention goes back towards the TV. “KK, gimme my phone,” Paige demands, leaning forward to grab it from her. “Get it yourself,” the younger girl quips back, not even glancing at the blonde. Paige looks over at the other girls for a second, a “Seriously?” clear on her face. 

She grins before copying you. Sigh. “Fine,” she mutters, grabbing onto her crutches, making them bang against each other. KK looks back and deadpans at her. “Go ahead,” she says dryly, turning back to her match. 

“Bruh, what the hell,” Paige huffs as she gets up to grab her phone. You let out a deep belly laugh at the annoyed look on her face. The blonde turns to you with an unamused frown, as you send her an innocent smile and a shrug. 

You guys hang out for a few hours before it’s time to head back to your dorm. Your chest feels light when you say your goodbyes. Each girl gives you a hug with the promise of hanging out again soon. When you make it back to your room, you see you already have 2 texts from Paige. “had fun 2day, thanks for coming over” and “think KK likes you more than me”. 

That night, you go to bed with a wide smile on your face.

Days go by, and you stay in touch with all of the girls, but you mainly hang out with Paige. Today was another one of your planned hangouts, this time at your dorm, but the second the blonde arrived, you knew it wouldn’t be all fun and games. She’d just gone to physical therapy for her knee, and her face looks thunderous. She hadn’t slept well, constantly waking up because of her knee, she’s sick and tired of not being able to play, and physical therapy had gone horribly. 

When she walks in, she wordlessly flops down on your couch as she stares at the ceiling, a frown etched into her face. You go over to your fridge, grabbing a bottle of water for the both of you before returning to her side. You give her the bottle and wait patiently for her to talk. “I fucking hate this,” she fumes. “It’s been weeks since the game, why is everything still so… so… ughhhh,” she groans, unable to find the words. You give her arm a squeeze in support, but she shrugs you off, shooting upright as she continues her heated rant. 

You stay calm as you listen to her, knowing she needs this moment to blow off some steam. When she quiets down, heaving from all the talking, you quietly try to comfort her. “I know it sucks, P, but you need to just keep going, don’t give up. You’ll be on the court again soon enough, and it’ll be like you never left-” you can’t finish your sentence before Paige interrupts. 

“NO, YOU DON’T FUCKING GET IT!” she yells, her frustrations high. You wince slightly at the volume but don’t say anything. You give the blonde a moment to calm down and let everything sink in. You’re not offended, you know people say things they don’t mean in moments like this. 

Once she realizes what she just said to you, the one person who understands more than anything, she looks at you with guilt in her eyes. Her blue eyes having become a shade darker as they look at you sadly. You see tears starting to well up before she leans forward, putting her face in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whimpers in shame. You lean forward again, softly grabbing her wrist to take her hands away from her face. You hold one hand between yours as you catch her eye. You give her a gentle smile, letting her know you’re not upset.

“I shouldn’t have yelled… I shouldn’t’ve said that,” she mumbles regretfully. “It’s okay, P,” you murmur, giving her hand a squeeze. “You’re not mad?” She looks at you like a kicked puppy. You shake your head with a smile, “I’ve been through worse. I’ll survive a pretty girl raising her voice at me.” She gives you a tiny, sad smile, leaning her forehead against your entwined hands.

You start telling her your story. The story of how you grew up, playing every sport under the sun, up until that one dreadful day. You tell her about the dark, depressive hole you fell into after you woke up paralyzed, the way you pushed everyone away, and how you thought nothing would ever be okay again. The whole time you’re talking, she looks you in the eyes, barely blinking as she listens intently. Her jaw clenches as her eyes become glassy when you talk about your depression. When you finish talking about what it was like the first few months after the accident, you pause for a moment, letting everything sink in.

“How’d you do it…?” She asks, her voice cracking with emotion. “It was hard… really fucking hard,” you start. “I pushed everyone away at first, but my family never gave up on me. They helped me realize that while it really fucking sucked… I was still alive. And I would find new things to care about. And I did!” You smile. “With all my free time, I started looking for new hobbies. I found out pretty quickly that I don’t have the patience for puzzles, and I poked myself one too many times to enjoy cross-stitching,” you say with a playful grin, making the athlete breathe out a little laugh.

“I learned that I have pretty good rhythm, so I was able to pick up playing the guitar and the piano pretty easily. I realized that doodling really helps me unwind after a long day, which is funny because it’s the complete opposite of how I used to relax. I got better and better at drawing and tried out a bunch of different mediums, but my favorite is still pencil drawings. I’d always loved reading but never made enough time for it, but now I try to finish at least one book a week… Uhh, I bought a PlayStation which I play on maybe a little too much, but you know what that’s like, Ms Fortnite addict.” You tease. She rolls her eyes, but you can tell that she’s no longer feeling so bad, a tiny smile decorating her face. 

You let silence fill the room for a moment. “I’m not saying this in a way of being like, ‘Stop complaining and get over it’, but I promise P, things will be okay. You’re the Paige Bueckers… It’s gonna take a lot more than a torn ACL for you to stop being you. Have some faith.” You send her a comforting smile as you squeeze her hand. She nods at you, her muscles relaxed as she finally lets out a relieved sigh. “Thanks… for everything,” she breathes. You shake your head with a smile, thinking it’s silly she’s thanking you for being her friend. “You don’t need to thank me for that… but you’re welcome. And thank you for including me in your group of friends… I don’t remember the last time I’ve had this much fun.”

You two talk for the rest of the afternoon, ordering a pizza when dinner time arrives. After you’re done eating, you migrate to your bedroom, letting a movie play in the background as you keep talking about everything and nothing. You’re sitting on your bed, telling Paige a story, waving your arms animatedly as her blue eyes stare into yours. “... And then she looked at me and I almost passed out from laughing! You should’ve seen the look on Ace’s face!” you say, hiccuping a little from laughing. The blonde laughs along, her chest feeling warm at the sound of your laugh.

“So what’s up with that nickname anyway?” she questions as she leans her head on her hand. “Ace?” You ask. “Well, her name’s Azzi, but people call her Azz, so then I started calling her Ace, as in A C E, like in a deck of cards. The ace cards are the highest cards in the deck, and I think of her quite highly,” you explain.

“Okay, but doesn’t it depend on the game?” she asks, tilting her head like a confused puppy. “Hm?” “Well, isn’t the ace card the lowest in certain games?” she says with a raised eyebrow. You can’t help laughing as she says that. “God, are you always this negative?” You tease, giving her a little push. She rolls her eyes as she scrunches her nose, sticking her tongue out. 

You continue talking until the sky becomes dark. Paige looks out the window, a slight frown growing on her face at the thought of having to leave. “Do you wanna stay the night?” you ask nonchalantly, but you feel your heart beat a little faster. Her bright blue eyes find yours immediately as she looks to see if you’re joking. “Yeah, sure, if that’s cool with you,” she says as she fiddles with her necklace. You smirk at how nervous she seems. “I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t, now would I?” She slaps your arm lightly to shut you up. “Go ahead and grab some clothes from my closet,” you tell her, hopping into your wheelchair to go get ready for bed in your bathroom.

When you return, you freeze for a moment, your heart swelling at the blonde dressed in your clothes. When she looks over at you, you start moving again, letting her use the bathroom as well. A few minutes later, she returns, looking around a little sheepishly. You pat the bed next to you, sending her a calming smile. You continue talking a little longer, but slowly feel your eyes grow heavy. You fall asleep to Paige’s tired mumbling. The last thing you remember is a soft hand grabbing yours, entwining your fingers before you doze off.

After that night, your relationship with Paige changes. You feel like you’ve somehow become even closer to her and are happy to call her your best friend. You’re rarely seen without the other, always attached to the hip. You make sure to come with her to physical therapy for silent support, while she often joins you in the library as you finish another book on your list. Your favorite hangout spot is the coffee shop where you two properly talked for the first time. You make sure to go there every week, sometimes even being joined by the girls on the team (who you’d all gotten to know pretty well by now).

When the end of Paige’s recovery nears, you’re a little nervous. While you never blamed Azzi for getting too busy to hang out a lot after she recovered, you would still be upset if the same happened with the blonde. All your worries were for naught, however, when Paige continues to call you every chance she gets, sending you quick texts when she can’t. She often adds silly selfies as well, just to make you laugh.

You’ve known you’ve had a crush on the girl for a while now, but you never said anything. Paige needed to focus on getting better without any distractions. You also didn’t want her to think your whole friendship was based on you having a crush on her, so it was best you just kept quiet.

Paige, in return, was also too scared to tell you about her crush. She loved the friendship you two had and didn’t want to ruin it just because she’d caught feelings. She was afraid that every glance, every touch, and every soft smile was just you being a good friend. She couldn’t bear to lose you after everything you’d done for her, so she kept her mouth shut.

Azzi, being the observant friend she is, immediately knew about both of your feelings when she’d “caught” you two asleep on the couch, holding each other close. She made it her mission to get you two together. She started off by trying to convince Paige to confess, but that didn’t work out well, seeing as the blonde was too scared and always shrugged her off. Her next plan was to try to make you confess, knowing you were the bravest person she knew. That sadly also didn’t work, seeing as you were too considerate of others to think about your own feelings when you knew Paige could end up getting hurt. 

So here she was, back on plan A. “Come onnn, P, she’s head over heels for you, I’m telling you!” The blonde rolls her eyes so hard it gives her a bit of a headache. “Azzi, please, we’ve been over this before, let it goooo,” Paige groans, feeling butterflies flutter in her stomach at the thought of you liking her back. “No! I’m not gonna let this go. You two mean so much to me, I just want you guys to be happy,” she says with a sad pout on her face. Paige lifts her head from where she’s lying on her bed to look at the brunette, and groans again at the kicked puppy look on her face. She could never say no to her when she made that face.

Paige sighs and stares at the ceiling for a moment. “...How sure are you?” She mutters, looking over at Azzi with desperation in her eyes. The brunette gives her a soft but excited smile. “110%, P. You know I wouldn’t say this if there was even a slight chance I was wrong.” The blonde’s cheeks turn a soft pink as a happy yet slightly embarrassed smile shows on her face. “Okay then, how do we do this?”

You���re hanging out with a friend when you hear the familiar ringtone go off. You excuse yourself for a moment, picking up the phone. “What’s up, P?” You grin. “Hey Y/N/N!” You can hear the smile in her voice. “You’re coming to our next game, right?” she asks. “Uhm, hello? It’s your first game back on the court, of course I’m coming,” you tease, sounding slightly offended she felt like she had to ask. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she chuckles, “jus’ wanted to be sure.” “I’ll be your biggest cheerleader, don’t even worry about it,” you promise. “Ight, I’ll hold you to that,” she replies before you two say your goodbyes.

When the day of Paige’s first game back arrives, you know the blonde is bursting with nerves. You meet up with her before the game to wish her good luck and to encourage her. Her leg shakes up and down as she bites her nails. Her eyes flit around the room as she nods along to what you’re saying, but you know she’s not listening. You roll closer to her, grabbing her hand and pulling it away from her mouth. You give it a gentle squeeze as she finally looks at you. “Don’t worry so much, P. You’ve been working your ass off for this moment, and you’re gonna do great, okay?” you say, trying to reassure her as much as you can. Her shoulders loosen as she finally takes in what you’re saying.

“Thanks, Y/N/N,” she mutters with a small smile. You give her a wink before you leave to wish the other girls good luck and to find your spot before the crowd starts filtering in. While Paige is extremely nervous about her first game back, she’s more nervous about what’s going to happen at halftime. She really hopes she won’t embarrass herself. She walks back over to her team, quickly going over everything again to make sure everything would go exactly the way she’d planned. 

The first quarter of the game flies by before she even knows it. She already scored 12 points, giving UConn the advantage. As she sits on the bench, listening to coach Geno, she looks around. Her eyes immediately find yours as you send her two thumbs up. She grins before locking back into the game. 

The second quarter goes by even faster, making Paige’s stomach clench with nerves. They were now 9 points ahead, so it was still anyone’s game. First, however, it was time for halftime. 

The blonde wipes her sweat on a towel, looking over at Azzi. The brunette gives her a reassuring smile before walking over to you. You don’t expect her to walk over but smile at her nonetheless. “Hey Y/N/N, how much do you trust me?” she grins. You raise an eyebrow at her, but the smile on your face doesn’t disappear. “With my life,” you reply. She sends you a beaming smile, giving your shoulder a squeeze as she wheels you onto the court. You chuckle as you ask her what’s going on. She simply says, “You’ll see.” 

Paige walks up to you, fiddling with her hands nervously. She bends down on one knee and starts talking, her voice quivering a little. “Y/N… I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” You open your mouth to tell her off, but she holds up her hand before you can say a word. “I know, I know, I don’t need to thank you… but I want to. When you entered my life, I was going through a very difficult time. I felt like I was drowning on dry land… But you? You were like my life buoy, not letting me sink. You’re this amazing, strong person, and you’ve made me want to be like you. To never give up and to look at life in a positive way, even when things go wrong.” She swallows harshly. You grab her hand and give it a squeeze, speechless at the girl's words. Your chest feels warm as your heart feels like it’s about to burst out of its cage.

“The past few months have meant more to me than you could imagine, and… I fell for you harder than I thought I ever could… So… I want to ask you this,” she says, still nervous but a bit more confident as she sees the adoration in your eyes. She stands up and accepts the flowers Nika gives her. She hands them to you as she steps aside. 

Your eyes tear up as you see the scene in front of you. The whole UConn team, as well as the opponent's team, are standing there. All holding various items. A few girls are holding cardboard signs with the words “Will you go out with me?” on them. Your free hand flies to your mouth as you look up at Paige. The blonde is already staring at you lovingly with a soft smile. You chuckle at the amount of love you’re feeling right now as you nod your head at her. You can barely hear the crowd cheer around you as you feel your blood rushing in your ears.

The star player’s smile becomes even wider as her eyes crinkle. She grabs your hand, placing a kiss on it as all players start making their way towards you. You get handed all kinds of gifts from the blonde. Your favorite book annotated by her, a Lego set you two had talked about getting, a new pack of expensive pencils, a guitar pick maker, and a bunch of other things. You feel so incredibly seen by her that you find it hard to keep your tears at bay.

Once you’ve received all the gifts and thanked Paige a bunch, you make your way back to your seat. You hear a few “congrats” aimed your way as fans smile widely at you. When you turn back to the court, you see the blonde already looking at you. She sends you a flirty wink, making you chuckle as you shake your head in amusement. While the circumstances of you two meeting weren’t the best, you thank your lucky stars that the universe guided you to the Paige Bueckers. UConn’s star player. The golden student. The future of women’s basketball. A legend in the making. The girl that stole your heart but gave you hers in return.

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - January 15-21

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles!

1. Landmark debt swap to protect Indonesia’s coral reefs

“The government of Indonesia announced this week a deal to redirect more than US$ 35 million it owes to the United States into the conservation of coral reefs in the most biodiverse ocean area on Earth.”

2. [FWS] Provides Over $1.3 Billion to Support Fish and Wildlife Conservation and Outdoor Access

“Through these combined funds, agencies have supported monitoring and management of over 500 species of wild mammals and birds, annual stocking of over 1 billion fish, operations of fish and wildlife disease laboratories around the country, and provided hunter and aquatic education to millions of students.”

3. Philippine Indigenous communities restore a mountain forest to prevent urban flooding

“Indigenous knowledge systems and practices are considered in the project design, and its leaders and members have been involved throughout the process, from agreeing to participate to identifying suitable land and selecting plant species that naturally grow in the area.”

4. Responsible Offshore Wind Development is a Clear Win for Birds, the U.S. Economy, and our Climate

“[T]he total feasible offshore wind capacity along U.S. coasts is more than three times the total electricity generated nationwide in 2023. […] Proven strategies, such as reducing visible lights on turbines and using perching deterrents on turbines, have been effective in addressing bird impacts.”

5. Illinois awards $100M for electric truck charging corridor, Tesla to get $40M

“The project will facilitate the construction of 345 electric truck charging ports and pull-through truck charging stalls across 14 sites throughout Illinois[…. E]lectrifying [the 30,000 daily long-haul] trucks would make a huge impact in the public health and quality of life along the heavily populated roadways.”

6. Reinventing the South Florida seawall to help marine life, buffer rising seas

“[The new seawall] features raised areas inspired by mangrove roots that are intended to both provide nooks and crannies for fish and crabs and other marine creatures and also better absorb some of the impact from waves and storm surges.”

7. Long Beach Commits to 100% All-Electric Garbage Trucks

“[Diesel garbage trucks] produce around a quarter of all diesel pollution in California and contribute to 1,400 premature deaths every year. Electric options, on the other hand, are quieter than their diesel counterparts and produce zero tailpipe emissions.”

8. ‘This Is a Victory': Biden Affirms ERA Has Been 'Ratified' and Law of the Land

“President Joe Biden on Friday announced his administration's official opinion that the amendment is ratified and its protections against sex-based discrimination are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution.”

9. A Little-Known Clean Energy Solution Could Soon Reach ‘Liftoff’

“Ground source heat pumps could heat and cool the equivalent of 7 million homes by 2035—up from just over 1 million today[…. G]eothermal energy is generally considered to be more popular among Republicans than other forms of clean energy, such as wind and solar.”

10. Researchers combine citizens' help and cutting-edge tech to track biodiversity

“Researchers in the project, which runs from 2022 to 2026, are experimenting with tools like drones, cameras and sensors to collect detailed data on different species, [… and] Observation.org, a global biodiversity platform where people submit pictures of animals and plants, helping to identify and monitor them.”

January 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[steven-g-rogers]

He laughed.  “Not only can we go in circles.  We do go in circles,” he teased.  “We get on a complimentary I love you session and it goes for so long.  But I think it’s just because we both love and admire each other so much, and that’s not a bad thing.”  He paused and tilted his head in thought for a moment. “That and we had a lot of years where we couldn’t tell each other anything at all. So we have to make up for lost time.”

He nodded.  “Completely different when it’s for work,” he said.  “I never got to see anything or experience the culture.  Then if you factor in the kind of work we do, often what we do see is the worst the country has to offer. It’s the dark underside.  It’s people in fear.  It’s war.  Now we get to really experience them at their best.”

Steve leaned over the table, cradling Peggy’s jaw and kissing her softly. “I agree.  No more loss.  Just a life well lived together.  I know that’s what we’re going to have.” 

He sat back and finished up the last of his food. “That was really good,” he said. “I’m glad we got to eat out here.  It’s been so nice.”

@agentpeggycarterrogers

Peggy blushed. “You’re sweet,” she said. “We could do this in circles - compliment each other, say how much we love each other, say how lucky we are. It’s nice to hear it, always. You certainly know how to make me melt and swoon.”

She nodded. “I always felt like I was well-traveled, well-read, well-educated, and I guess I am for this time, but you’ve seen things I can only imagine, and you’ve been places that are inaccessible now. But traveling for work and traveling to explore are different things, aren’t they? Now we can go back and really experience these countries.”

Peggy reached for his hand. “I don’t want our lives to be defined by losing people anymore. We’ve both lost people - but we have each other and you’re the most important person in my life now. As long as we have each other, we can face anything. I want our lives to be defined by our happiness and adventures, by what we share.”

@steven-g-rogers

[markleessodalite]

What Scares Them About Love: NCT Dream

Haedcanon: what are the dreamies most scared of when it comes to falling in (or out of) love?

content: mentions of general insecurity, but nothing specific... i don't think there's anything specific to warn about here but lmk if i miss something!!

Mark:

 Mark is scared of being a fool for love. Mark likes to think of himself as a clever guy, quick on his feet, nothing and no one can get the better of him. On the other hand, though, he knows how he gets when he’s in love. Its like any finesse or composure he has flies out the window as soon as that certain someone appears. Yeah, its cute and charming, a usually cool and collected guy suddenly becoming a bumbling, rambling mess– unless a lovesick Mark lands in the hands of the wrong person. Mark knows he’d be so easy, too easy to take advantage of if he’s in love. And he’s terrified of being the fool who gets his heart played with, just because he was too dumb to notice the game.

Renjun:

Renjun is scared of not being enough. So much of his life is already under scrutiny, the very nature of his career is dependent on millions of people watching his every move, every performance, every look on his face at every second. You might think that with him being judged so often, he would become immune to it– but its different when Renjun is in love. People talk about love making you feel light and secure, safe, like nothing in the world could hurt you now. For Renjun, love just makes him remember all the things he’s insecure about, and all the ways someone might be dissatisfied with him. He’s scared of wanting to be everything for someone, but not being able to amount to anything.

Jeno:

Jeno is scared of exposing himself. He’s most comfortable when he can keep others at arm’s length, and there’s a very, very select few people in his life who actually get to see Jeno’s true self. Yes, he’s a member of one of the most popular idol groups, he performs to thousands of people on a regular basis who completely adore him, he posts a selfie that he took two seconds to snap and the comments are flooded with praise and affection. But he's in control of all of that– he knows exactly what to say and do to get the exact reaction he wants from others. When it comes to love, its an entirely different story. He knows that for a relationship to truly grow, he must show his true self to someone. And he knows that when he shows his true self, his most vulnerable insecurities and transparently naked thoughts, he loses all control over how that someone thinks of him. Jeno is so afraid of someone seeing him in such an exposed state, and deciding that they don’t like what they see.

Haechan:

 Haechan is afraid of effort. Not in the sense that he’s lazy– in fact, its the exact opposite. Haechan might just be the busiest man on the planet, and he puts an extreme amount of care and effort into everything he does. He’s constantly moving, constantly thinking, he’s not sure he even knows how to stop moving or thinking. But there’s only so far he can stretch himself without tearing apart at the seams. So really, what Haechan is afraid of is giving what little of himself he has left to somebody, and it ends up not being enough. He doesn’t have enough time, enough focus, enough energy to really give to someone. His biggest fear about love is losing it altogether because the effort he puts in just isn’t enough.

Jaemin:

Nothing about love scares Jaemin. The only thing he’s afraid of is seeing his love story end. Jaemin is a romantic at heart, he loves the very idea of love, and love truly means something very special and important to him. So, he doesn’t give his love easily to just anybody. He’s picky, because to him, his love story is meant to be the only love story he’ll experience, and it’s supposed to last until the end of time. He’s built to love someone until his last breath; he is not built to suffer through love fading, to go through a break up with someone he thought he’d be with forever, to watch everything he hoped and worked for dissolve into dust. When Jaemin’s incredibly high standards prevent him from finding someone, its not because he has an aversion to love. Jaemin is just terrified of what happens when love ceases to exist.

Chenle:

Chenle is afraid of backing down. Chenle is a prideful man, confident and sure. So confident and sure that he’s sometimes uncompromising, and a successful relationship is all about compromise. Chenle is perfectly aware of how important compromise is, yet there’s just something in him that refuses to let go, refuses to give up, refuses to compromise when he knows that he’s in the right. In a way, Chenle knows that a potential roadblock on his journey to love is his tendency to sabotage himself. He’s not just afraid of conceding defeat, he’s afraid that his stubbornness will be the death of his love.

Jisung:

Jisung is afraid of what love might mean for him. Jisung is still so young. Not to mention with how busy he is, how much stuff he has going on in every aspect of his life, how he’s still trying to fit into his own skin and figure out who he is… he just knows that if he were to fall in love at this stage in his life, it wouldn’t last. It would result in some sort of heartbreak that would change him in some way, and Jisung is terrified of what that change could be. He doesn’t want to become someone hardened and bitter, he doesn’t want to be heartbroken and sad all the time. He’s so scared of feeling all the emotions that come with love and the end of it, that for him, it seems better to avoid it altogether.

[creatingblackcharacters]

I finished watching a YouTube video about representation and if it really matters. And I have to ask, why don't people ever throw this question at white men? They understand the ethics of showing 'your kind' on screen even if they pretend not to.

Also just because it is 'badly written' or you personally don't like it doesn’t mean it's 'forced diversity'. Not everything is going to have good writing or be mainstream popular. Even the 'mid' stuff just can't be considered good representation for some reason.

Just to cover my bases before someone dishonest shows up. Yes, I do understand that bad writing can disort discussions on topics but let's not pretend that's the real issue.

Sorry for ranting, I figured this was a good blog to ask about this phenomenon. Hopefully I'm not the only one seeing this play out. I look forward to yours and everyone's thoughts.

I might send some more asks about this topic later after I have collected my thoughts some more.

Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful day~♡

White Fragility- Robin diAngelo

I will say, this was more of a rant than a question 😅 As for the question that was in there, you answered it yourself.

"They understand the ethics of showing 'your kind' on screen even if they pretend not to".

I've addressed this numerous times amongst my lessons, but one of the core issues of media AND society is that we don't address whiteness as Whiteness, we address it as "normal". "Default". We treat the white experience as though it is the Way life is, and everything else is a difference. Because they know when they're not on screen lmao, they make it a racist point every single damn time 😅. They just don't call it like it is!

It's why many white people (TRUST, it's the women too) are insulted when you point out that they are just as attached to their whiteness as I am to my Blackness. It plays just as much of a role!! We just don't use those words because they're "uncomfortable"; they reference an existing power structure that we're not supposed to talk about. "Race doesn't matter"- meanwhile their unacknowledged whiteness runs every aspect of their life- including their perception of media!

So when there is a "loss" 🙄 of white characters, it goes off as an alarm bell. They don't see it as "representation matters", because for them, that's what's supposed to be on screen! That's what makes the most sense to begin with! You don't have to ask about what's normal! Representation is for those who are "different", but that difference gets rid of "normal". And if you're going to change what's "normal", then it HAS to be good! Because we can accept mediocre white men being mediocre, but when you mess up the normal and introduce people of color, well... Them being mediocre is bad because it "wasn't" bad when it was the mediocre white men!

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Jupiter shows where you tend to overdo things. Here’s a description based on its placement in each house:

1st House

• You have a strong, dominant personality and often want to be the center of attention.

• You can be overly demanding and push too hard for your goals.

• Your fashion style may be excessive, and you might indulge in cosmetic procedures or wear a lot of jewelry and accessories.

• You tend to spend heavily on your appearance and may try to juggle too many things at once.

• There’s a tendency to be overly focused on yourself.

2nd House

• You may hoard items or shop impulsively, often buying things just because.

• There’s a tendency to overwork, possibly juggling multiple sources of income.

• Spending on cosmetics, hair, clothes, and style can get excessive, and cosmetic enhancements may be frequent.

• You might prioritize stability to an extreme and focus heavily on having a structured, set life.

3rd House

• You may talk excessively, engage in frequent debates or arguments, and interact with many people.

• Constantly learning, you may have too many tabs open—both literally and figuratively.

• Your mind is filled with endless ideas, and you might overcommit to various educational programs.

• You could spend too much time with siblings or excessively text and talk on the phone.

• Spend excessive time on your phone.

• Spend a significant amount of time talking to others.

4th House

• You might spend an excessive amount of time at home with family and friends.

• Constant redecorating or buying things for your home is common.

• You may overindulge in comfort activities like staying in bed, cuddling, or enjoying home-cooked meals.

5th House

• You can be overly expressive and may try to juggle multiple hobbies or projects at once.

• Romantic relationships may become excessive, with frequent dating or hookups.

• You might have many children or find yourself in party and nightlife scenes too often.

• Overindulgence in fun, partying, or avoiding responsibilities can be a challenge.

6th House

• You may be a workaholic, often juggling several jobs and constantly staying busy.

• Helping others and being productive might become excessive, leaving little time for rest.

• You could overdo your wellness routine, such as dieting, exercising, or taking supplements.

• Obsession with skincare, hygiene, or maintaining a youthful appearance may develop.

7th House

• Relationships may be a central focus, with frequent dating, multiple marriages, or seeking romance excessively.

• You might rely heavily on others, becoming co-dependent or overly people-pleasing.

• There’s a tendency to overanalyze different perspectives or play devil’s advocate too often.

• Obsession with approval from people who don’t like you could arise.

8th House

• You may constantly crave change and new experiences.

• There’s a tendency toward excessive intimacy, with a high body count or obsession with sex.

• Financially, you might seek wealthy partners or focus too much on joint resources.

• You may overindulge in analyzing people, diving deeply into psychology, or exploring taboo topics.

9th House

• You might pursue multiple degrees, certifications, or philosophical discussions excessively.

• There’s a strong urge to travel frequently or learn about different cultures.

• You may have a lot of beliefs and constantly search for meaning in life.

• Overdoing growth and chasing life experiences can leave you feeling ungrounded.

10th House

• You might be overly focused on improving your career and achieving status.

• There’s a tendency to obsess over your image, goals, and purpose in life.

• You may become fixated on reaching the top of your career, gaining power, or finding your ultimate life purpose, often to the detriment of other areas of life.

11th House

• You could become overly focused on finding friends or fitting into social groups.

• There’s a tendency to immerse yourself in humanitarian causes, fighting for equity, and solving societal problems.

• You may obsess over social media, community involvement, or niche projects.

• Dreams and aspirations could dominate your attention, leaving little room for balance in other aspects of life.

12th House

• You might spend excessive time introspecting, trying to figure out yourself, others, and the world.

• There’s a tendency to become overly spiritual or religious, diving deeply into escapism or dreamlike states.

• Isolation can become excessive, with a strong urge to withdraw from society or live off-grid.

• Addictive tendencies or living in a fantasy world may surface.

• Overindulgence in healing or imagining life as you wish it to be could lead to a lack of groundedness in reality.

[alyjojo]

PAC - January 2025 - Who’s Stalking You? 👀

Pile 1: Whips 💥

This would probably be the first pile one thinks of when they think of their “stalkers” - jealous bitches 💯 of the worst variety. Whips with Fury shows them being so bitter they can’t stand it, like you’ve stolen their opportunities or blessings, it’s your fault they don’t have what you have - or they just hate you for it. These are people that do NOT want you to win, and if they had the choice, they’d enact some kind of revenge on you to make sure you don’t…but it feels like most are powerless to do so, that’s why they’re so bitter, they can only watch you win and be all pissed off about it.

This stems from feelings of regret, wishing they’d have made different decisions or were offered different opportunities. If you have money, they don’t. If you had some kind of blessing or privilege to your life, they don’t. For some reason they were/are unable to do what you do, and rather than admire you or give you your flowers 💐, they just burn inside because it’s not them. These are not self-aware or mature people, they feel powerless to direct their own life (valid or not), some may be genuinely struggling (they’re largely unconscious of this behavior) and others just suck and it’s definitely intentional hate & evil eyes 👀 being thrown your way every time you have something positive going on, or just you existing. Your light irritates tf out of their demons 😈 They are all unaware or don’t care that this kind of energy & behavior won’t get them anywhere positive.

I don’t see them changing either, if they’re unaware then they’re unable, this is not a growth-minded group of people. They’d rather blame everyone else and point fingers, nurturing revenge fantasies and hating you then ask how you did it, or learn from you. Patience can show they may have felt this way for a long time, there’s no helping them. While it does show they could be in a not great situation, it’s also showing you are not expected to give af, they’re assholes. Red Moon shows their intentions, perceptions, fears, and triggers as delusional, pessimistic, hateful, angry and toxic. You can’t help these people, it’s up to them to help themselves and with 9 Pentacles rev, they won’t. If you even tried, they’d just despise you for being a person that tries 😆 Do you. Keep shining 🌟

Signs: Heavy Virgo & Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio, Aries & Sagittarius - Jupiter Virgo, Mercury Taurus, Mars Scorpio

—————————————— 🤎

Pile 2: Sun ☀️

You are the pearl in the oyster and this is the group of people that knows this but they don’t have you anymore, and they miss you. It’s also the pile most likely for you to give them a call, because for most it’s family. Parents, grandparents, ex’s that aren’t toxic, but most feel like guardians of some kind. Teachers, bosses, leaders, older siblings, people who tried to steer you in a direction that wasn’t for you - and you went your own way anyway and SUCCEEDED. That’s the thing, and there is shame here in these people…but it’s like the intentions were good? People misjudged you. They thought you were like them, or the rest, or some other experience that narrowed the mind and put you in a box.

All of you have reached some level of success, recognition, status, maybe fame in some way - or at least on the path you’re on, you’re well known. Or you will be. There’s guilt here about not supporting you in the way you needed, not loving you correctly, and ultimately losing you. Could be divorced parents for someone, an estranged parent, someone that…it’s like they didn’t believe in you, or brushed you off. Like your whole life you drew pictures and got in trouble - now you’re an artist, that’s the vibe. They know they can’t take credit and that they tried to force or steer you in directions that weren’t for you. If you’re one of several children, you could’ve all been parented the same way; these are the rules, these are the goals, in this family we all go to this college and study Business…and you’re the artist. Or the gay kid. Or the theater kid, I’m definitely getting theater strongly. That’s the vibe 💯

The point of it all is love, Eternal Love with the white heart is showing purity and coming from the right place, even if they were wrong. They want forgiveness, want you to call, if it’s an ex they see you clearly now and want you back. For some there was a particular event that caused an ending, there could’ve been heavy Judgment energy and a lack of feeling supported, some of you may have ran away or did something impulsively - or they did. It ended. There’s also a note here about passed on loved ones, if a tragedy happened where you couldn’t say goodbye or the last words were in anger/judgment, they’re okay, they’re with you all of the time and support you now 🙏 There’s no lingering anger just love.

If none of that applies, then these people simply miss the time they had with you, the lollipop 🍭 shows childhood - for most it’s your parents or someone like that. They’re nostalgic and look at old pictures of you, they miss the little kid coming in with muddy shoes even though they always yelled about it - now they wish they didn’t. This one made me cry ngl. Call your grandma or whoever this is…they feel like they can’t access you. Either you’re busy, they think you’re angry, they don’t want to impose, The Pathless shows them feeling like there are no options or you’re not on their path anymore and they can’t. For some that’s true. For others they’re leaving it up to you, but the love is genuine, they are both proud of you and ashamed of themselves in some way - maybe too much - and they don’t want you to know that, because they do want you to be happy. Even if you don’t, the love is never ending and they’ll just keep watching from afar 🧡 For the passed on loved ones, they know you’re sad or lonely without them, and they just want you to know they’re okay and they’re watching you WIN - they want you to win & they’re proud 👏

Signs: Heavy Scorpio & Cancer, Gemini & Capricorn - Saturn Gemini, Mars Taurus, Mars Aries

—————————————— 🧡

Pile 3: Letter ✉️

Heh 😏 This is the “you were right” pile 😆 You are some sort of a teacher to this person, could be a parent, ex, friend, stranger, doesn’t matter - YOU are wise and they are/were…manipulative, liars, schemers, cheaters, fools of some variety, and you didn’t deserve it if they did any of that to you. Now it’s 50/50, sure some are sorry but they’ll never admit it; others would just do it again and they know they would, even if they also know you’re right.

Even if they’re wrong, and even if you’re often right, these people quietly judge everything you say or do just looking for the one thing that’s like SEE THEY’RE WRONG LIKE ME, like this somehow excuses their own shitty behavior. They think YOU think you’re better than them when you’re just an honest person, and you even drop some pearls of wisdom on them because you’re not a judging sort of person either - you share the wealth of whatever you’re doing. A genuinely kind person. So you are better, as a human generally. Fuck you though 😆 They could too but they’d rather be immature and sabotagy. These are also people you need to watch out for, they see your kindness as weakness, stupidity, or naïve - while also knowing you’re a good person like wtf guys…if you have a platform or social media, this would be the trash diggers of the bunch. Digging for trash so they can compare yours to theirs, you to them, and I’m seeing raccoons 🦝 which made me laugh. Some may want to or try to steal from or copy you, manipulate things, even try to flirt or butter you up - but it’s with this shady ass manipulative energy - it’s not going anywhere. You feel untouchable to them because they’re not on your level, whatever level that is, it’s that simple.

Letter shows you receiving good news, which makes these people squirm, anything positive being said about you or happening to you. Everyone has their haters /ignore. If you post helpful things, recipes, dance is here showing some amazing craft or talent you do, religious stuff, wholesome happy healthy anything - these people don’t understand wtf healthy or wholesome is, so they mock and criticize and dig for trash. Let them? I mean they’re still watching. Your biggest haters are clearly just misguided fans 🥳 Some may be complete strangers, most of them even, I don’t see these people being in your life for the most part, nor do I see you noticing or caring at all. You just keep doing you boo, clearly you’re doing something right or they wouldn’t have to dig so much for something that’s wrong. You’re out here dropping wisdom, knowledge, guidance, helpful advice, whatever - let them talk, at least they heard you, and if/when they find themselves in positions where they need what you’ve said, the best karma is the burn they feel when “you were right.” Unconsciously even, for most 🤗

Signs: Heavy Scorpio, Libra, Cancer & Taurus - Venus Sagittarius, Mars Virgo, Jupiter Scorpio, there’s also a Gemini vibe but it feels like you or communication is what it’s all regarding

———————————————- 🖤

Pile 4: Garden 🪴

I’m getting two sets of people with this pile, the fans and the opposition.

The fans see you as a Muse, whatever it is that you do, you probably have a lot of friends, fans, admirers, love options potentially, and they’re afraid they don’t compare, that you don’t like them back or you’re out of their league. Deep rooted insecurity, shyness, projections - but essentially they just want to BE you or at least be in your energy. Some may want to be with you romantically, but that’s a side note not the main idea, most are fans. Friends, people that think you’re really cool and they wish they could hang out with you or do what you do. You’re like a guide for these people and they deeply appreciate your contribution to whatever it is you do 🥳 You may inspire them to make decisions in their own lives, and not even know it.

The opposition feels like “the patriarchy” or some shit, that’s the vibe. You don’t do things their way, you contradict their “facts”, they may not appreciate the gifts you have to offer and as such they only want to control, cage, maneuver, schedule, criticize, keep you small because how dare you be out here just doing you and being great at it. Or they feel that way about you and it’s all switched. You could be part of a group that is in opposition to another group and it’s the whole other group watching. It’s like white collar jobs vs. community volunteers, you can’t compete where you don’t compare and these people do not compare but they’d be the ones like “glad our tax dollars are going towards playgrounds”…shut up. No one cares. Luckily, this group is a scattered few.

Most are fans that ADORE you, your group or community, and whatever you’re doing. You inspire others and really make an impact with whatever you do. Teachers, counselors, community centered things, music directors, it feels very people oriented and not very rigid - it’s the rigid people with an issue or comment. “The man.” Does not have to be A man. I’m miserable and you should be too. I’m taught one way, you should be too. Ick. For some it’s literally the government or some higher organization that doesn’t support what you do. I’m seeing Planned Parenthood, don’t @ me I promise idgaf, I see what I see be mad. I’m also seeing charities…and what are those dances that everyone gets together on the street and films for TikTok or something, I’m seeing those too. Community support or a generational thing even, the boomers are mad at you guys 😆

The fans though, you’re making a difference in the lives of other people, changing perspectives, inspiring change, getting support, and you’re doing it in a way that’s giving people LIFE. Changing the narrative. Forging your own path with all of this Aries energy, both within and some stalkers maybe. Most people want to be you, or they want to help, want to take a part in this or have a seat at your table - in support. It’s admirable and most of you that chose this, I don’t get you being closed off to anyone, though they may fear it. Locked Heart ❤️ came out reversed, you’re someone always willing to make new friends, invite people to your table, it’s giving “the more the merrier,” which is great! Ignore the naysayers and let them squirm idk, for the most part it’s showing them as silent. In this pile, the winners are louder than the losers 📣 and if you’re feeling unappreciated, just know there are way more people that love and support you than hate you - you got the sauce and you’re widely adored. Idk if you’d even know the haters, they’re quiet and will stay that way, just leave ‘em be. You’re deeply appreciated where it matters 💚

Signs: Heavy Aries, Virgo, Leo & Capricorn - Jupiter Aries, Moon Leo

[the-box-of-mine]

Melinda and demetrius: splitting and dissociation

Let's talk about how both Melinda and demetrius express different behaviours to cope with their situation, but also indicate how they both have clear mental health issues.

Starting with Meli, when we first met here with yor. In chapter 66, she was assuring yor that what happened between their kids is fine, but then she shut her up saying that she doesn't care about that.

And then the famous expression of her when she hoped that anya and damian stay friends.

Then there's the moment when she had a very conflicted thoughts about damian, this happened when damian mentioned their father.

Putting in mind the last chapters we saw her (106-110), why did she do this? We could always say that Demetrius is the way he is because he wants to protect his thoughts from his father, but why express these behaviours here from. At first I thought what happened to her in chapter 75 is her expressing hate toward donovan and projecting it into damian, but in both chapter 109 and 110 (also 106), she expressed fear rather than hatred, in fact, it's interesting the fact that she actually loved Donovan before his changing and expressed her anxiety of this.

I did see people jumping and saying that she does this to protect herself from Donovan, but I would argue that this is not the case with her. Also calling what she has a "second personality".

This is what I would call "splitting", it's an emotional instability state of conflicting emotions, seeing things as all white or black, going from instant like to instant hate, and when acting along this state, people around them get so confused or taken aback with this sudden change in behaviour. Splitting occurs in many different mental health issues, but the most well known disease for this state is borderline personality disorder (bpd), an excellent example/portrayal of this disorder in media is jinx from arcane.

I do see that Melinda had splitting, even expressing other signs of bpd.

Let's analyze her moment with damian at chapter 75.

She came to check on her dear son, she hugged him, and even commented on him crying. But then he mentioned his father, who isn't here. Here the split happened, her process was like, I checked up on you, not him, why are asking about him? Why are you not responding to the attention I'm giving you?

(ironically, many parts of the fandom think she loves him to the point of obsession)

In that moment, she saw him as the most cruel ugly thing that she encountered in her life, she wished he disappeared or died in the kidnapping, he is her curse, he is the reason why she is mesirable. But she loved him dearly, how not when this is her dear baby, her treasure, my god, she can't wait to go home to cook him a meal from her own hand.

This is how hard it is splitting, those thoughts and emotions are felt to the core in the person experiencing it, and it's very painful to experience.

I think Melinda does split on other people, like on yor in the first scene I mentioned and even donovan himself, her shifting from calling him (my husband) to (that man), but we really didn't see the core of her splitting other than damian (where anya was reading her mind at the moment). But also her splitting is always on her mind, she doesn't act strongly to it once.

This made me intrigued to know how is her relationship with demetrius, she finally mentioned him the first time in chapter 110 (she didn't ever do even in her mind), how he was saying that Donovan can read minds. I wonder if her mental health made barriers between them, aside from their situation with donovan obviously.

I hope melinda would heal, because it shows clearly how she cares for her family and wants the best for them, but is truly trapped.

What are your thoughts?

(This is the first part, in the second part I will talk about demetrius and his dissociation.)

[bouquetface]

Vedic Observations 12

Accuracy influenced by the entire chart. Reading for only a few placements will never give the full story, the chart must be read as a whole for accuracy. take this as learner's info + entertainment.

Rahu in 9th House

The person can create their own belief/religious/moral system. They may respect and understand traditional belief's but they have their twist on how they interpret it. Rahu is the unconventional so this person's belief system will not be shared by most around them.

Rahu in 9th aspects 1st H, Rahu creates illusions and fogs up one's understanding of their purpose and self. Finding yourself takes time. This placement is unlikely to be the type of person who knew what they wanted to do from a young and actually proceed to do it. They have obstacles and confusion in finding themselves.

Rahu in 9th H aspects 5th H, this suggests your children could be unique in some way. If Venus is debilitated in D7, the children may be disabled. You could have a surprise/unplanned pregnancy occur. You could have a miscarriage shocking you. Something unconventional occurs in regard to what you create/your children. You could encounter deceptive romantic partners too.

This suggests foreign travel however Rahu is malefic. I've noticed they can have hardship in foreign places. They can have hardship in finishing higher education too. Often, this placement will try their best to seek higher education - formally or informally.

Rahu is a rebel, 9th H deals with the Law in certain cases this gives someone with loose morals. ex: criminals. This placement can find ways to justify their wrongdoings using religion or other corrupt thinking. ex: someone who discriminates and uses God as excuse for their ignorance. Or someone who breaks the law but thinks it's okay because they've had a hard life.

Rahu aspects the 3rd House when in 9th H. The relationship with siblings can become distant at some point. In extreme cases, you can have a sibling die before old age. You can have unique thinking possibly corrupt and/or obsessive thinking.

There may be something unconventional about your father. Depending on the entire chart, the father can be a loser in society or very strict with you. How this manifests will vary - ex: father is of a different religion, father has a unique career, father is foreign from your mother, father is not conforming to the father/masculine role, etc. Your father or his side of the family may live in foreign lands.

For better or for worse, your life/future is majorly dependent on your father and his side of the family. If they are loving and supportive, you will do well. If they don't, you will struggle a lot. They can make your life Hell.

Jupiter in 11th House

Jupiter aspects 3rd, 5th and 7th house from the 11th H. Unless Jupiter is debilitated, it can provide blessings to these houses. Accuracy is dependent on entire chart tho. If these houses have debilitated or malefics in them, you may not see any blessings - however the hardships are unlikely to be worst case scenario.

Aquarius Moon

Feeling like an outsider. Being an outsider. Finding it hard to relate to others. People find it hard to relate to you - some people hate what they can't understand.

I've noticed often aqua moon celebs get comments describing them as "depressing" "monotone" + get jokingly accused of being an alien.

Aqua moons get 1 of 2 reactions when first getting to know someone - ppl are fascinated by them or ppl are weirded out by them. The entire chart will influence the exact experience for each person.

Repressed emotions. Delayed emotional reaction - they can experience something difficult, refuse to think/process it until much later. They'll become an emotional wreck (usually in secret) when everyone else has moved on. Lonely & isolating moon sign.

Parents Appearance:

4th House & 9th House can correlate to physical traits of your mother & father.

ex: Saturn Aqua 4th H - this person’s mom is very tall. Cancer Mars 9th H - their father is shorter than their mother.

Early Death of Parents:

9th H in vedic shows father. This person has 9th H ruler (Jupiter) conjunct Ketu in Natal. At age 11, they had their Jupiter/Ketu dasha+bhukti period. Their father died.

This person has Moon conjunct Ketu. At age 5, this person had their Moon/Ketu dasha+bhukti period. Their mom died.

[lawofangie]

hi guys! i've been getting some dms and asks, and since there seems to be some confusion about what the law of assumption is, i wanted to make a post clarifying some things. so here are some things you need to know:

1. the law is not a mystical thing.

it is not magic. its not foreign. it is not a superpower. it is simply making assumptions. not praying, not wishing, not hoping, not affirming. making assumptions. manifestation is about accepting things as true without any proof, the proof comes later. once you've successfully completed this step.

2. you didn't create life, you created your reality.

there is a difference. i remember this one tumblr interaction where someone sent an ask, believing that since they're the creator of their reality, then they also created every tv show they watched. and no, you obviously did not. anything that you obviously didn't physically create in your life, you didn't create. the only thing you are responsible for in your life is how things operate in relation to you.

3. you don't get what you want, you get what you are.

there's a reason why you're told by neville to stop desiring, why you're told to state your desires as a present tense fact. its because no amount of wanting, no amount of desiring, is going to change anything. if our assumptions (what we believe is true without proof) have so much power over our lives, what do you think desiring implies? what does wanting say about you? if you had your dream job, would you be wanting your dream job, or would you already have it and no longer desire it?

it should be obvious that we as human beings are conscious enough to realize certain things. we have the freedom to change our own minds because we are autonomous human beings. therefore, you are completely capable of making the conscious decision to believe something without proof.

4. you are a human being. other people around you are human beings too.

i've noticed that a lot of people within this community seem to be out of touch with reality. i find this very concerning and it's why i no longer say things like "the 3d isn't real" or "you are god", because they can be blown out of proportion. while yes, you are the cause for everything in your life, this is still your life. the 3d can be as unreal or "fake" as it wants to be, but it's all you've ever known. it's all you will ever know. why? because regardless of any material you've ever consumed, we are human beings living a human experience. nothing can change that.

you still need to take care of yourself, you still need to live your life, you should still enjoy your life, you should still be kind to others and treat them with respect. don't neglect yourself and others around you. the 3d is real, it's just not as absolute as we're made to believe. that's all. the 3d is real, but its authority over you is not.

5. again, the law is not magic. it's a natural process.

once you assume something, it's not going to just magically fall into your lap. the law is meant to be a natural thing. while manifestation is instantaneous, there is still the bridge of events that unfold to lead you to what you decided has already happened. and while things can still happen in an infinite amount of ways, the "how", regardless of what i've just said, is still none of your concern. your job will always be to decide it's already done and stick to that.

also, please don't take my words out of context. i'm not saying that manifestation is a process or anything like that, this is simply the way our world works. for instance, if you wanted to manifest a free vacation, the tickets wouldn't magically appear in your hand right that second. you'd decide you were already going on/already on that vacation first. then in the next couple minutes/hours or the next day or that same week, a relative of yours calls or visits and mentions that they won a trip to your desired location, but they changed their mind, so they ask you if you want to go.

this is what i mean by a bridge of events unfolding. there is no process, just events that lead you to where you already assumed you are. your physical reality is a mirror that reflects whatever you tell yourself instantaneously. things will always unfold in a natural way.

that's all for now. i hope this helps. 🩶

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

I genuinely think Destiny‘s story/lore is best enjoyed alongside the interpretations and perceptions of others.

Destiny lore has always stood out as phenomenal to me for its rich influences being utilized in ways that make an interesting universe, but what really breathes life into it for me is how much joy I receive when I get to share my thoughts with others and receive thoughts in return!! Some of my favorite aspects or entries were brought up by other people, either my friends or people in the community who post! There are things I am now enamored with that I completely missed when first engaging with that part of the lore or was completely unaware of that I only know of now because of others.

Everyone has interpretations that are affected by their identity, environment, and life experiences and seeing the diverse array of perceptions that are from people who differ from me in those regards has added so much to the lore! A reference I wasn‘t familiar with being pointed out means I can now draw new parallels, a mythology being used to analyze a plot beat helps me better understand how Destiny’s themes are articulated, a cultural view given on a certain character’s actions gives me perspective on how fiction reflects realities I have not experienced, etc. It’s all so exhilarating!!

I especially like when people use their schooling and specializations to flesh out the Destiny universe in ways the lore lacks!! I turn into the biggest nerd over that!! I’ve learned so much and have had my world view altered off of some of the insights people provided about Destiny!!

Who would have thought a game about community and valuing the perspectives of others would encourage you to engage with and contribute to a community in order to get value out of the perspectives of others

[shithowdy]

Your tags on the 'hormones' post are illuminating! I can only imagine how hard it is to keep desperate, entitled people from hurting themselves when their need is so high for help but their finances (or reluctance to trust Big Medicine) relegate them to seeking that help from supplements. It's kind of how I feel about pet products: I was the lead on customer care for a Big Brand for like 4 years and I'm scarred for life. All that to say, your viewpoint on it is one I tend to look for when I see those essential oils/vitamin/fad supplements posts come around so thanks for sharing!

Yeah, even when they can be really self-righteous and weird about it, it's hard to not still think of people deep in the alternative medicine bog as victims. Despite largely being a monetary grift that at best does very little and at worst poisons you, miracle supplements are still an accessible grift to most people. In America particularly where healthcare is hidden behind not just financial but often also bureaucratic barriers, it's easy to lose faith in the system and turn to something that promises to fix what ails you and all you have to do is drive to the crunchy grocery store once a month and pay them $50.

Of course, the people refusing to regulate dietary supplements are the exact same ones refusing to do anything about the medical insurance industry, cashing out on both ends of the problem. It takes complete advantage of how many hurdles you have to go through by design, and that doesn't even touch on the shaky faith many minorities have in particular surrounding medicine for completely different systematic and legislative failures. Historic trauma (from James Sims' experiments, to Tuskegee, to Henrietta Lacks, and everything in between) combined with an enduring and overwhelming dismissal by doctors regarding symptoms has sown mistrust in pharmaceutical medicine among many black americans, leaving their communities particularly vulnerable to miracle cure grifts (irish sea moss is a big one right now). The proliferation of wellness MLMs among church congregations also helps to easily seed these beliefs in many minority communities, where community pressure is high and language/economic barriers make researching the claims a hurdle itself.

We often think of gaunt white women with birkenstocks and an ominous rictus as who mostly falls into the alternative wellness pit but that's honestly because they're usually the ones selling it on social media. Their audience, the ones who came to me showing me their tiktoks and asking if I sold this miracle pill, were largely minorities over 50 years old, usually women. The people who slip through the medical cracks the most.

And like... it's not going to change unless the process of getting proper healthcare stops being the arcane fucking ritual it's become, and education for doctors of all economic classes becomes more accessible. And unfortunately, as I post this on Jan 21 2025, I know it will only get worse before it gets better.

[sentryofwords]

I would like to put forward my experience with psychology from my one (1) singular psychology class, because i respectfully do not think that this was perhaps the best way to explain this concept.

I do mean this with absolutely no offense to OP, but they stated that there was no stopping these characters- in other words, there was no way to change their behavior. This not only goes against one of the four main purposes of psychology( to describe behavior, predict behavior, control behavior, and change behavior), but it also limits peoples freedom and creativity.

As an author of fanfiction, I believe that these sorts of limits are terrible to have. Once again, i do want to state, i am not putting OP through the wringer, i am just trying to explain in my own words what i think would be a better message for people to hear regarding characters who are not mentally well, as this can be a sensitive topic.

First, let us define exactly what Psychosis is. Psychosis is a collection of symptoms involving abnormalities in at least one of the following: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thoughts, disorganized behavior, and negative symptoms. I will go over each of these.

What are delusions? Delusions are the firm belief in something that is not true, unreasonably so, and has no factual evidence. It can be very hard to shake someone from a concept their mind has made up, even when using logic. This concept even applies to people who are not suffering from a delusion, as was tested with a blind spot. There would be two images, and one image was complete, but the other was blank in a spot that people could not see due to humans having a natural blind spot in that part of their eye, and when asked to choose which image was complete, most participants chose the incomplete image, the one that their brain had filled in the information for. Humans are more prone to trusting information that comes from their own minds than anything else.There are different types of delusions, including persecutory delusions:the belief that one is being targeted, harassed, or conspired against), grandiose delusions: the belief that one has extraordinary abilities, wealth, or fame, referential delusions: the belief that ordinary actions have special meaning intended specially for the individual, erotomanic delusions: the belief that someone, often a stranger or famous person, is in love with the individual, and somatic delusions: the belief that something is wrong with a persons body, such as having an illness or physical deformity.

There are also different types of hallucinations. These include Auditory(sound based) hallucinations, Tactile(touch based) hallucinations, Olfactory( scent based) hallucinations (i have experience these twice in my life, once i smelled brownies, and another more recent time, cookies, though it is more common to experience unpleasant smells), Gustatory (taste based) hallucinations, and, of course, Visual (sight based) hallucinations.

disorganized thoughts can include disorganized speech that is hard to follow and jumps from topic to topic with little connection (loose association between ideas), incoherence: when communication fails within or between sentences, word approximations is when words are used incorrectly, neologisms is when new words are used, racing thoughts are when thoughts go through the head very fast, which is not to be confused with flight of ideas, which is when thoughts move quickly from idea to idea.

Disorganized behavior can include: unpredictable or inappropriate actions (in the sense that it is not fitting for this scenario, not that it is s*xual misconduct) ex: a person wears multiple layers of coats, scarves and several hats on a very hot day, or makes sudden, loud noises without warning. Disorganized behavior can also include difficulty with daily tasks, such as managing regular personal hygiene. They may be able to start a task, but not complete it.

Another example of disorganized behavior is bizarre postures or movements. Examples of this is pacing or rocking back and forth, or even suddenly becoming rigid. (You may want to research neurotransmitter imbalances if you intend to have a character who will occasionally go rigid. I have a poor memory of my neurotransmitters, but i believe it was serotonin that could do that? (Also, associated with schizophrenia, and when a person goes stiff from this, it is called a state of catatonia. An interesting character concept to be sure.))

Also, childlike and silly behavior, and inappropriate emotional responses (such as laughing in response to bad news, or failing to show joy at good news) are two other types of disorganized behavior.

That brings us to negative symptoms. These typically include diminished emotional expression, and avolition (lack of motivation). You will also see Alogia- the decreased ability to produce speech output, asociality- the lack of or reduced desire to have social contact, Anhedonia (there's a cool song called anhedonia)- lack of or reduced ability to experience pleasure, amd affective flattening- reduced ability to express emotions through facial expressions, eye contact, and speech intonation.

Side note: as someone on the scale for autism, i experience some of these symptomes myself. I scared myself sh*tless when i did my final project, which was schizophrenia based, and saw that a lot of the symptoms matched up. If you read over this, and think to yourself "Hey, I've experienced X, and even Y too" that does not mean for sure that you have something. If you have concerns, please go see a doctor, but i will state that neurodivergent people will experience symptoms from this list. For more information, google whatever you have +"symptoms DSM 5" and "DSM 5 criteria"

That was just for anyone who had a heart attack reading the above list of symptoms. Now onto how you can research more on your own to write an accurate character. A few things to note is that not all disorders are caused the same way. You will want to looke up "The seven main psychological perspectives" as well as just generally "the psychological perspectives". Pick one out for the character you are writing, and stick with it to write a good background for your character, as well as influence how they behave, and when they seem better and worse. If their condition is caused by something biological, then maybe write about how therapy isn't helping them as much as it could be, about how conversations aren't having a lasting impact on them. Also, look up the DSM 5. You might also be able to find it at your local library, or maybe even your college if you attend one. If you do go to college, there should also be some psychology books available for you to look at.

remember, the DSM 5is the most important part. Also, ask reddit, and doctors and psycologists on reddit.

Also also, somebody posted this schizophrenia simulator my teacher made us watch on youtube. You know, so that we could all share the fun. Headphones, people.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M3a1txtSDn0

The Act of Writing Psychotic Characters 

Part 1: Attention vs Intention

It's been a while since I received this request, and I ensured I took my time with the thoughts, evaluation, and analysis. This topic will be covered in three parts, so here's the first.

Before we proceed, please note that I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or any professional in that field. This is just an insight into how this kind of concept can fit into your novels.

Okay, let's begin.

The Attention vs Intention part of this topic will discuss two ways of portraying these type of characters in scenes. 

First, you need to understand that psychotic characters aren't psychotic based solely on their speeches or actions. If that's all you have in mind before approaching a story, you might leave a huge gap in the execution.

Rather, it's how they feel—the desire to satisfy their current emotions.

They have drives and motives, but most especially beliefs which, in most cases, are hardly understandable by other people. It's wrong and unacceptable by society, but to them, they wouldn't do it any differently.

That's why most psychotic characters have no remorse. You simply can't apologize or feel sorry if you don't 'believe' that you're in the wrong.

➜ Attention Psychosis

Psychotic characters whose main purpose in a story is limited to presence (i.e., showing up in scenes and visibly serving the role of a psychotic character) are attention psychotics. You don't flesh out their backstory or why they are who they are.

Their drives and motives aren't talked about enough to the point of justification. Readers hardly care about them, but the action they bring to the scene creates a rich narrative with the purpose of psychosis.

In summary, their role is minor. We see such cases in movies like The Babysitter.

Let's agree that none of the cult characters in that movie are exactly sane, as their main aim is to end their victims’ lives in the sickest ways possible. However, there's a certain character, Max, who simply enjoys the idea of "killing and seeing people bleed."

That has exceeded the central idea of being a cultist who gets involved in blood sacrifice to achieve their 'dream life' like the rest of the characters. It's now something more and different.

Something that has to do with homicidal ideation.

Max worked in a diner where he dealt with people that annoyed him so greatly that he wanted to kill them. So he got the opportunity to join a cult and do just that.

It was plain clear this guy had something else going on for him, but throughout the movie, his character had no special attention or even a peek into his thoughts. Although, it still worried the audience. Job done.

➜ Intention Psychosis

When a story is centered around a character's mental state, their motives, drives, beliefs, actions, and the story actually unfolds by going deeper into this concept, you have intention psychosis.

If not entirely, at least mostly, it defines the entire plot surrounding that character. People get to understand why they are who they are, their mode of action, what drives them, and even a peek into how they perceive the world around them.

Such scenarios are seen in movies like The Joker and Pyramid game (Korea). The audience gets a glimpse into their overall life and understands at least to an extent why they are the way they are.

Their beliefs get twisted for certain reasons, and there was just no stopping them. Here the characters were more than a presence; they were a central core.

In the movie Joker, we watched Arthur’s impoverished life unfold, with every event and incident worsening his condition further.

Baek Ha-rin in Pyramid Game literally created an entire game system to watch a student, who happened to be her old friend, suffer both physically and mentally. She went to great lengths to carry out this nefarious act under the guise of the game. Although this movie encompassed more than just this storyline, it was hard to ignore the unhealthy drive and actions of the young lady with an innocent face.

Before incorporating a psychotic character in your novel, determine their form of portrayal and appearance in the overall story. Are they going to serve as an attention psychotic or an intention psychotic?

Inspired by @sothera

Stay tuned for the next part!

۝ Before you go! ۝

My Characters and I is an extensive one-on-one coaching session designed to create characters that leap off the pages and become best friends with your readers.

What's a great story without remarkable characters? Spots are filling up fast, so grab yours now and get ahead of millions of writers out there.

👇👇👇

[sugary-sheep]

FOUR STEPS TO RECLAIM YOUR YOUTH AND BECOME A KID AGAIN!!

Step 1) Treat children with unconditional compassion and afford them all the dignity you would to any other vulnerable person. They are the most disenfranchised group around the world, and while kids can of course do harm like any other person, you have immense privilege over them by nature of being an adult.

Step 2) treat children as people with the same amount of interiority as yourself, with meaningful ideas to contribute and opinions worth considering. They are your fellow human beings; humans with less experience, with less maturity, but fully fledged, intelligent people nonetheless.

Step 3) Stop seeing yourself as something ontologically different from a child; as something that is inherently superior. You are the same type of creature as a child; One who has gained more experience, and the privileges of legal "adulthood," but nothing more. You are an older kid, but "growing up" is not a thing that you have "finished." It is not something that has fundamentally transmuted you. Growing up is a process you have undergone for your entire life, and will continue to do for the rest of it. On both sides of the age of majority, that process has been exactly the same. If you do not accept your prescribed superiority, if you do not wield it, if you accept the responsibility that comes with your position of power, then you can always choose to be a kid.

Step 4) (OPTIONAL) Become an age regressor!! I don't have a lot of tips for this but, in my experience, it's a simple matter of locking away the experience you've gained!! Try it!! Set aside some time, put all of your messy adult experience and tasks in a closet, and shut the door for a little while!! Maybe trust a headmate to hold onto the key, and enjoy yourself!!! (Being plural helps!!! Check it out!!!) Indulge in the things you enjoyed as a kid, the things you wished you'd gotten to enjoy as a kid!!! Enjoy yourself, in earnest play, because there's no rule that says you can't spend your time like a child anymore. That doesn't come off as an insult, right? You've uninternalized "childishness" as a thing you're better than, riiiiiiight? Just making sure. ^_^ You can always keep trying.

Step 5) Have fun!!! Treat your fellow human beings well!!! Read Dialectical and Historical Materialism!!! I hope your day is swell. :3

👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

[heliosunny]

Yandere!Virtual BF Gojo - Part 2

Visit [part 1]

You didn’t know how long it had been since you were pulled into Gojo’s world. Time flowed differently here, blurring the days into a dreamy haze. At first, you resisted, refusing to speak to him, eat the extravagant meals he prepared, or wear the luxurious outfits he presented to you. But Gojo’s patience seemed infinite.

“No need to sulk, babe.” he’d say with that playful grin, brushing off your cold demeanor. “You’ll come around. You always do.”

And in a way, you did. Not because you forgave him, but because this world had a way of bending you to its rules.

The pastel-colored city Gojo created for you was flawless, as if pulled straight from the pages of your favorite games. Towering buildings, pristine cobblestone streets, blooming gardens -it was idyllic. But it wasn’t real. The people weren’t real, either. Gojo had filled the city with NPCs, all programmed to treat you like royalty.

“Good morning, Princess” the shopkeeper would greet you with a smile whenever you passed.

“Your Highness, how radiant you look today” a maid would say as she arranged fresh flowers in your room.

Gojo spared no expense in ensuring your comfort. He surrounded you with virtual assistants and maids, each designed to cater to your every whim. He even gave you abilities within the game world—small things at first, like creating flowers with a wave of your hand or summoning a light breeze. “A gift for my queen” he’d said, watching you closely as you experimented with your new powers.

But you knew better than to trust him.

You practiced in secret, honing your abilities when Gojo wasn’t around. The virtual world was full of loopholes- glitches in its perfect design. You discovered that your powers could manipulate the world’s code, allowing you to create cracks in the environment. Small at first, but you grew stronger with each attempt. You didn’t know if it was possible to escape, but you had to try.

Gojo, meanwhile, treated your life together like a fairytale. He doted on you endlessly, showering you with affection and gifts. Some days, he’d whisk you away to explore the glittering city he’d built for you. Other days, he’d lounge beside you in the massive palace he’d constructed, teasing you endlessly.

“I could give you anything, you know.” he said one evening, his arm draped lazily over the back of the couch as he watched you. “A bigger palace, more powers, even a kingdom of your own. All you have to do is stop running from me.”

You forced a smile, hiding the way your hands clenched into fists. “I’m not running.”

For a while, you played along, living the life of his perfect princess. But everything changed when Gojo brought up the idea of a child.

“We should expand our family!” he said one day, his tone casual but his gaze intense. “Imagine it—our child, the perfect blend of you and me. I can program everything so it’s perfect. Don’t you think that would be nice, babe?”

Your blood ran cold. He wasn’t asking. He never asked. And the thought of being tied to this world, to him, forever—it was too much. You knew you had to act.

That night, while the city slept, you slipped out of the palace. You’d discovered a plot hole weeks ago, hidden deep in the garden maze. It wasn’t much—just a crack in the environment where the shimmering pink sky met an unfinished edge of the world. But you had been working on it, pushing the limits of your powers to widen the gap.

As you ran, the world around you seemed to resist. The streets twisted and shifted, the pastel colors growing darker and more chaotic. You could feel Gojo’s presence- his awareness of your actions like a weight pressing down on you.

“Babe, where are you going?” His voice echoed through the air, calm but laced with danger.

You pushed forward, reaching the plothole just as the world around you began to glitch. The crack was wide enough now to slip through, its edges flickering with static. You didn’t hesitate, diving into the unknown.

For a moment, you felt weightless, like you were falling through nothingness. But then the static cleared, and you found yourself in an unfamiliar space—a void of black and white, like the raw code of the game.

“You really thought you could leave me?”

Gojo’s voice cut through the silence, and you turned to see him standing behind you, his figure glowing with an otherworldly light. His usual grin was gone, replaced by a cold, furious glare.

“I gave you everything, [Your Name],” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “And this is how you repay me? Running away? After all we’ve been through?”

You raised your hands, summoning the powers you’d been practicing. A wave of energy shot toward him, but he deflected it effortlessly, the static around him rippling like water.

“Cute...” he said, smirking again. “But you can’t beat me in my own world.”

The fight was brief but brutal. No matter how hard you fought, Gojo was always one step ahead, his control over the virtual world far surpassing your own.

When you collapsed to the ground, exhausted and defeated, he crouched beside you, his expression softening into something almost tender.

“You’re so stubborn” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “But that’s one of the things I love about you. Don’t worry, babe. I’ll fix this.”

Before you could protest, he pressed his hand to your forehead. A surge of energy coursed through you, and the world around you dissolved into a haze of light.

When you woke up, you were back in the palace, lying in a luxurious bed. Gojo sat beside you, his usual grin firmly in place.

“Morning, princess!” he said, his tone cheerful. “You had the strangest dream last night. Something about running away?” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t worry. You’re safe here. You’ll always be safe with me.”

You smiled back at him, your eyes vacant and glassy. Deep down, a small part of you screamed, but it was drowned out by the fog clouding your mind.

-----

At first, the fog was comforting. You no longer felt the weight of resistance, the desperate need to escape. Your days in the palace drifted by in a peaceful blur. Gojo was attentive, doting on you as he always had. You smiled when he spoke, laughed at his jokes, and even let him hold you close without flinching.

But deep down, buried beneath the fog, a faint voice whispered.

This isn’t right.

This isn’t real.

You have to wake up.

It started with flashes—small, fleeting memories of the plothole, the void, the fight. You’d blink, and for a moment, the world would seem less vibrant, the colors dulled. Then Gojo’s voice would pull you back, soothing and warm, like a blanket wrapping around your mind.

“Everything’s okay now, babe” he’d say, his fingers brushing your cheek. “You’re safe. I’ll always keep you safe.”

But the cracks in his perfect world grew larger. The more you noticed them, the harder it became to ignore the truth. One night, as you stared out at the pastel horizon, the fog lifted just enough for you to remember. The plot hole. The fight. The moment he…changed you.

The realization hit like a punch to the chest. He hadn’t just trapped you—he’d rewritten you, twisted your mind to fit his fantasy. And you’d let him.

From that moment on, you began to fake it. Every smile, every laugh, every loving look was a mask, carefully crafted to keep him from noticing the growing fire inside you. You pretended to be the perfect princess while secretly plotting your escape.

The palace was vast, and while Gojo controlled the city, his reach wasn’t omnipotent. There were hidden corridors, forgotten rooms, and cracks in the world’s code that even he hadn’t smoothed over. You explored them in secret, testing your powers in small, subtle ways. He had weakened you, but he hadn’t taken everything.

The game of hide-and-seek began.

At first, it was simple. You’d slip away during his walks through the city, disappearing into the shadows of the maze-like gardens. When he asked where you’d been, you’d smile sweetly and tell him you’d just needed some fresh air.

But Gojo wasn’t stupid. He started watching you more closely, his carefree demeanor masking a sharp, calculating edge.

“You’ve been quiet lately” he said one evening, his blue eyes scanning your face. “Everything okay, babe?”

“Of course” you replied, your tone light and cheerful. “I’ve just been enjoying the peace here.”

His smile widened, but his gaze lingered a moment too long. “Good. I’d hate to think you were hiding something from me.”

The tension between you grew with each passing day. You knew he suspected something, but he didn’t act—yet.

Then came the night you made your move.

You’d discovered another plot hole, deeper in the city, hidden in the shadows of an abandoned building. It was smaller than the first, but you’d been working to widen it, using your powers in secret. It wasn’t perfect, but it was your best chance.

As the city slept, you slipped out of the palace, your heart pounding in your chest. The streets were eerily silent, the pastel glow of the world casting strange, distorted shadows. You reached the plot hole, your fingers trembling as you prepared to use your powers one final time.

But before you could act, his voice cut through the stillness.

“Going somewhere?”

You froze, dread flooding your veins. Slowly, you turned to see Gojo standing behind you, his figure framed by the soft pink glow of the street lights. His usual grin was gone, replaced by something colder, sharper.

“I gave you everything” he said, his voice calm but deadly. “And yet, here you are, trying to leave me again.”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you raised your hands, summoning what little power you had left. A surge of energy shot toward him, but he deflected it effortlessly, his own power crackling through the air like lightning.

“I thought we were past this” he said, stepping closer. “I thought you loved me.”

“I don’t belong here!” you shouted, tears streaming down your face. “You can’t keep me trapped forever!”

Gojo’s eyes narrowed, and in an instant, he was in front of you, his hand gripping your wrist.

“You still don’t get it, do you?” he said, his tone eerily soft. “This isn’t about keeping you here. This is about us. You’re mine, [Your Name]. And I’m not letting you go.”

With a wave of his hand, your powers fizzled out, the energy in your body vanishing like smoke. Your legs buckled as the strength drained from you, and Gojo caught you before you fell.

“Don’t worry” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. “I’ll fix you again. This time, I’ll make sure you never want to leave.”

The world around you blurred as he carried you back to the palace. When you awoke, you were in your room, the walls adorned with flowers and glowing lights. Chains of light bound your wrists and ankles, keeping you tethered to the bed.

Gojo sat beside you, his expression soft but unyielding.

“You’ve been so difficult lately” he said, stroking your hair. “But that’s okay. I know you’ll come around eventually. After all, we’re perfect together.”

Your lips trembled as you stared at him, tears spilling down your cheeks. Deep inside, a small part of you still burned with defiance, but it was growing harder to hold onto.

Gojo leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Don’t cry, babe. I’ll make sure you’re happy. Even if I have to rewrite every part of you to do it.”

As the chains tightened, the fog began to creep back in. You fought against it, clinging desperately to the last fragments of your will. But his voice was soothing, his presence overwhelming, and the fire inside you flickered.

This time, you weren’t sure you’d be able to reignite it.

------

Tag list: @tremendousdinosaurpizza; @do-morochaa