#paul youre killing me actually
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omfg dont even
#what the actual?????!?!?!!#how am i supposed to breathe#paul youre killing me actually#f2#paul aron
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And then she threatens to kill him if he doesn't man up and say that while looking her in the eye (and then he apologizes while looking at her in the eye because he cannot be directly rude).
#my characters#they might all be adults but really they are also children - they are my children your honor i love them#imagine right and brent to the side and right saying wow damn cant believe blondie was told what i expected to hear my whole life#and brent saying he would take his life and then there is a pause and then he says ah wait that was more threatening than i intended#and right yelling to karen HEY BLONDIE I THINK BRENT JUST THREATENED TO KILL ME#and she yells back BUT I CANT CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU TWO THREATEN TO KILL PAUL OR SOMEONE ELSE I CAN SACRIFICE#and rick just relieved the focus is off of him so fast because he doesnt want to die by karens hands#and doesnt know she actually wouldnt kill him bc she would feel too guilty bc hes too nice and she has a small conscience#thats why please threaten paul i would love to kill paul it would be cathartic actually please let me kill paul#its a dnd au and she craves the murder and violence ok let her have this its not real#thinking about right and brent a lot lately and yet i didnt even draw them ...
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Paul and Ted should team up and kill Sam for Charlotte me thinks
#im rewatching tgwdlm and this just popped into my brain#they totally could and should kill Sam#it would be great#+ it really works with both their characters#we know Ted is capable of killing and that he does actually care for Charlotte but he's too insecure to ever let her truly know that#Paul very obviously cares about Charlotte he actively put himself in danger during show me your hands to get Charlotte away from Sam#and we KNOW he is capable of murder from nmt#also Sam is trash#throw the whole man out#tgwdlm#ccrp#Ted/Charlotte#< idk if they have a specific ship name sorry#Chai latte if you want#i do ship it but this doesn't have to be a them post#Sam Sweetly#Charlotte Sweetly#Ted Spankoffski#Paul Matthews#i dont think the lords would even be a factor in this#Charlotte would just come in one day kinda sad and Paul would be like what's up?#and it we be something with Sam and Paul and Ted would just share a look and nod#cut to midnight in the witchwoods Paul and Ted covered in Sams blood digging a hole to bury him in#'so beanies tomorrow?' 'sure Paul'
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there's something incredibly funny about the dynamic between me, fandomed your bible made them queers but has no actual extreme opinions about christianity because i think it's all made up and you can believe in whatever pleases you, and my best friend, somewhat orthodox (with a natural hatred for the church any actual christian should have), very lowkey and respectful towards everything, frowns at me when i slander the apostle john, but straight up believes with his whole chest paul was the antichrist and will argue with your 80 year old christian grandmother about it
#🧅#AND I CANT EVEN THROW IT BACK AT HIM WHEN HE CALLS /ME/ A HERETIC CAUSE LOWKEY? YEAH.#we hate paul. if paul has 100 haters i am one of them if paul has 10 haters i am one of them if paul has 2 haters i am one of them if paul#has one hater i am dead and it's my friend#''if youre mad at paul you should be mad at peter'' LEAVE PETER ALONE his rabbi just got crucified#mans was going through it its all paul's evil scheming#im mad at peter for other things. like hating women.#but fuck paul#peter was there he went through it he knows all about jesus#yknow what paul was doing while jesus was getting crucified instead ? killing the first christian martyr#and then he just went on to spew some bullshit and say that jesus came to him in a dream and told him so#while jesus' BROTHER was like ''actually thats bullshit he'd never say that''. and paul was like no he did <3 im a prophet <3#and then went on to spew more bullshit#and im not talking random obscure christian bullshit americans would create a whole new dogma over that doesnt even matter im talking#harmful bullshit#im talking ''hey jesus came to me in a dream and said we should convert everyone to christianity or they'll go to hell''#and james was like ''hey i dont think jesus said that exactly''#and paul was like ''no he did <3''#i fucking hate paul
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𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 | feyd-rautha
( gif credits to @wondrousashes )
—summary: on a calm day back at your home, you shattered away the serenity as you decide to confront feyd about his alleged concubines and the little secrets he seemed so cautious to hide, pushing him further and further to the edge. —pairing: feyd-rautha harkonnen x female!atreides!reader —word count: 4k —warnings: arranged marriage, jealousy, a bit of implied smut (the actual smut is coming up in the next and last chapter !!!), mentions of sex, mentions of cannibalism, feyd being a slut for the reader (as he should), mentions of killing and death, hot and very passionate love confessions, definitely ooc!feyd.
writer’s note: english is not my mother tongue, so please forgive me if there is a grammatical error. hope you like it!
ᯓ★ part one ── part two ── part three (coming soon)
The week at Giedi Prime went by so fast that you hardly noticed any of it. The first day had been a bit slow and tedious, but the ones that followed turned out to be more than agreeable and enjoyable, Feyd-Rautha had been very concerned about keeping you entertained and as comfortable as possible, showing you every corner of the palace and walking you around the city.
But for now, you were back at your home for the last visit you would have there before becoming a Harkonnen. Feyd was staying close to you through all the reunion, naturally, diplomatically greeting your family.
“You met his cannibal lovers yet?” Paul's voice echoed inside your head between Feyd's conversations with Duke Leto, your gaze drifting to your brother in absolute alarm, horrified at the question and relieved that, so far, the answer was negative.
“There are rumors that tell how his concubines feed on the hearts of his dead opponents.” Your brother propelled you with the oh-so-cute information about your future husband. “The bastard has not one, but three. I guess you'll have to battle it out with them for his love, that was Duncan said.”
“Stop it, don't be an idiot.” You snapped back at him, averting your gaze from him to Feyd-Rautha, who was conversing ever so formally with Lady Jessica now.
You couldn't imagine him eating of human flesh, nor fucking three different women at the same time. Although, rumors always started from something and during the few times you had been able to get inside Feyd's head, you hadn't seen anything that was remotely pretty or light.
Paul's words managed to resonate in your head, lingering between the walls with a sense of suspicion.
Maybe that was why he never showed you the intimacy of his chambers... because on his bed lay three women compliantly awaiting for his attention and lust.
For some reason, the false image of him fucking them, bodies intertwined and interlinked, voices whimpering and moaning, made you feel respulsive, your guts twisting like a serpent.
You didn't want to believe it was jealousy, but again, your mind never wanted you to believe anything at all.
The palace of the Atreides stood majestically between rocky mountains, with the golden sunlight falling beautifully on the grayish stone walls, bringing in a warm afternoon. Rising magnificently behind your back, standing like a rocky guardian.
Your gaze was on Feyd-Rautha as you walked together along the outskirts balconies of the castle, your greenish dress swaying in the sea breeze, as did your hair, which you wore unusually loose that day, the sweet smell of it had him crazy.
“Do you like it?” You asked him after a few moments of silence, with a hint of a smile that Feyd noticed as he turned to look at you, noticing as well how you waited expectantly for his opinion of your home, which he knew you always held close to your heart.
After a second, he nodded his head, looking at you intently. “I do.”
His blue eyes, which looked as clear as ever under the natural glow of the place followed you as you walked beside him, keeping himself close to you, he could feel the natural warmth of your body and the sweet smell of your scent.
It was the first time you saw his eyes showing their true color, for back in his home, they rarely reflected so much brightness and his orbs glowed so beautifully in the sunlight. They possessed the most beautiful shade of blue, reminding you of the ocean, of home.
“It's nothing like my home.” Feyd-Rautha added in a more amused, lighter tone of voice, with a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, lowering his gaze to the ground, noting how the grass softened each of his steps on it.
“Obviously. Caladan is everything that Giedi Prime and Arrakis are not.” You answered him, snorting the words out with a soft chuckle that was carried away by the wind, turning your head to look at him once you stopped at the edge of a greenish cliff after descending one of the many rocky staircases that rose up through the hills.
The sea stretched into the immensity of the horizon and the water was uncommonly calm, waves lapping the shore relentlessly. It was a calm and peaceful scene out there, quite the opposite of what you felt inside, as you felt a tempest of emotions raging in your soul.
“Have you been with someone else like this?”
There was another one of your little questions again.
And he pondered the answer, dragging his eyes as blue as the ocean itself in front of them, back to you.
But Feyd-Rautha was rather certain that you already knew the answer, that you already had it, you could tell by the way he looked at you and the way he addressed you. Because it was enough to be clear that he had never been this way with anyone before, he had never spoken to anyone like this and he had never been so pleased to be in someone's company, basically in his entire life.
“The only people I've ever had this close to me are my family or my enemies, neither of whom I think entertain my presence very much.” Was his reply, honest and respectful. His husky voice, in contrast to the graceful sea breeze was a pleasant and comforting noise to you.
His words were masked with a touch of amusement, as he used to do in the last days when he spoke to you, it seemed as if you brought back that inner child he had, a stranger who felt increasingly closer.
But even using that tone, his eyes told you that he was not lying, that he was giving you the pure truth.
Yet, somehow you were not satisfied with his response. And he knew it.
“Have you been with other women?”
Feyd drew in a breath, half-opening his lips, air hissing between his teeth.
“So I'm assuming you've heard about the rumors about me?”
And there he was, answering you with another question to challenge you back, to play with your head as he had grown to love to do during the short time you had been in each other's company. Your conversations always ended up being a game of back and forth, a game of a tension that would be cut with the least sharp blade.
“My future wife likes to guide what she believes by mere rumors?” He pressed further.
And as always, you exhaled the air held inside you, twisting your head slightly, looking at him with incredulous eyes. “These are not rumors, Feyd —I've seen it.”
His blue eyes narrowed as he walked closer to you, expression both intrigued and yet defiant. “What do you mean you've seen it? Don't play games with me now, woman.”
“Don't threaten me, man,” You squinted your eyes as you pronounced the word like poison, almost coming out like an insult. “I'm not afraid of you.” With your own response to his defiance, this immediately silenced him, stopping him in his tracks right in front of you, as you stepped closer to him, your presence growing menacing now. You were really upset. “Do you think that when I marry you I will allow you to go on screwing around with them?”
“You met them and they threatened you?” Feyd asked in a low tone, maintaining a calm demeanor, though he wanted to know if any of his concubines had dared to even glance at you during your stay at Giedi Prime. His orbs reflected a sensation that ranged to a murderous, bloodthirsty urge, not at you, but at anyone who was stupid enough to threaten you. “Tell me, did they say anything to you?”
You crooked your head very slightly, looking genuinely offended by his questioning.
“Do you think I would allow any of your concubines —anyone at all— to threaten me and go on with their lives?” You replied instantly, looking him up and holding his gaze, as brave as ever. You seemed to be the only one in the whole universe who dared to answer him and put him in his place. And he was loving it, he felt the desire to be broken by you, to let you destroy all his walls and reach his soul. “They'd already be dead if they did.”
An amused grimace twisted his lips, gaze darkening with pride, desire even, approving of your words, feeling suddenly small under the vastness of your aura, dark and menacing now.
“Don't worry about them.” His words sounded humorous this time, just as his fingers laced between yours, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, an attempt to reassure you. “Soon I'll be all yours, sweet girl.”
You frowned your brow slightly, as did your lips, still looking offended. He squinted his eyes, hissing as he realized he had said the wrong thing, yet again.
“I'm not sweet.” Your hand released his, your annoyance rising with the seconds. “I'm not one of your pets you can treat as sweet, Feyd-Rautha.”
He raised his brow, following you with his gaze, puzzled, as you turned around and began to walk back to the palace, turning your back on him and leaving him to talk alone.
“One of my pets?” He questioned, with that amused grimace plastered on his mouth again, as he began to follow your hurried footsteps, his pale face reflected a blend of frustration and irritation. “Do you think I would treat you like one of my pets?”
His voice sounded so husky and frustrated and delicious that you felt like just stopping and jumping on him right there. But your own self-respect and pride were more important, you wanted to believe.
Seeing that you weren't planning to stop, Feyd tried to stop you by grabbing your arm, but his hand remained over your smooth skin, with no major result in trying to calm you down, so he cleared his voice, making the attempt to be as cautious and reassuring with his words.
“I think you must understand that desire and lust is something we all possess, my lady, not just men.”
He was physically relieved when you stopped to be able to look at him, with his hand lingering on your forearm.
But your eyes were still dark with discomfort when they met his once again. “I won't be one of your girls, Feyd-Rautha.”
His lips parted, brow furrowing slightly, his voice kept low. “(Y/N)—”
He stood right there, utterly speechless, with his voice caught in his throat, watching you walk away from him, striding with steps that exuded pure anger up to your rocky palace. His hand dropped from your arm and returned to his side, now far from your warmth and heartbeat.
It took Feyd-Rautha a couple of minutes to pull himself together, sighing heavily, a small smirk curving his lips as he began to walk the path back to the Atreides' palace.
He was absolutely thrilled to discover this side of you that he hadn't previously seen. You were truly frightening and he was loving it.
By the time the moon was bright in the center of the dark sky, shining through the thickness of black, a pair of soft knocks sounded against your chamber door and you didn't have to use any hint of your skills to know who it was.
He looked at you with those now dark blue eyes from across the threshold, arm resting lightly against the grayish stone. He looked strangely troubled, look shadowed.
“Have you always been such a perfect seductress?”Feyd asked you just as you made a questioning gesture with your head. “How many men have you seduced like this?”
You looked him up with doubting eyes, frown slightly furrowed. “What are you talking about—”
He interrupted you in a scratchy voice, fearing somehow, that someone else might hear him, that someone else might witness how desperately vulnerable he was being, for you.
“You've broken me. All I can think about is you.”
Feyd took one step forward and you one step back, so you two moved as if you were in a kind of dance until he eventually entered your chambers, pulling the door shut behind him.
“I can't handle not touching you. It's a rule I'm on the brink of breaking for you.” He whispered and your breath caught in your throat, exhaling air in a stuttering gasp. “And I should— I'm expected to be a gentleman. I'm supposed to behave myself, keep my composure. But you… you are driving me crazy, woman, you play with my head, you've bewitched me.”
You could really see that he was trying to explain himself for you, attempting to articulate everything that was going through his head and you knew that it was very unusual for him to speak out loud about his feelings. And now, you were the one who couldn't say anything at all.
It was true, the most important rule your mother had emphasized to you was that you were not to get involved sexually, or in any way with your betrothed, until the very day of the actual wedding, as that particular night was meant to be consumed.
“Y—you shouldn't be here, my lord.” You managed to utter out after a few hesitant stutters, feeling your back brush against the wall and having him in front of you, trapping you against his body. He seemed to be struggling against his body, against his desire and instinct, hesitant hands twitching at his sides, nearly reaching out instinctively for your body.
“You were so bold back there talking back to me, what happened now? Aw, what happened, pretty?” He asked in a more teasing tone of voice, holding your gaze. “We could put that mouth of yours to good use then, hm?”
“My lord—”
“Call me by name.” He demanded, he begged you, whispering.
“Feyd...” You named him so obediently that it made him smile darkly to himself. “Someone might listen.”
“Are you afraid that someone will find out that two people who are getting married desired each other?” Feyd asked, half-closing his eyes and breathing out through his nose, as if trying to compose himself, trying to convince himself more than you. “There is nothing wrong for a husband to crave for his wife, right?”
You gulped, and his eyes instantly landed on your throat, watching as bone and muscle moved beneath the flesh, his tongue twitched, aching with all his will to be able to just lick the skin of your neck.
“I guess not.” Your voice trembled even when you were trying extra hard to sound confident and certain. “But we are not yet husband and wife.”
“Soon...” Feyd muttered, almost as if he was making a promise, uttering a vow.
His eyes closed as he finally rested his forehead against yours and suddenly, you were breathing from the same air. His trembling breath was warm against your lips and his scent was everything you could have ever craved... and it felt so familiar that your soul seemed to shudder, like something you had smelled all your life, something that had haunted you even in dreams, forever present but yet always so far distant.
“Can I touch you?” Feyd breathed out against your mouth after a few moments.
You didn't answer him verbally, instead you slowly took his hands between yours, fingers placing them in parallel against his, allowing you to feel every inch of the imprint drawn on his fingertips as you dragged yours across his palm, both feeling the size difference.
Then, you rested his big, calloused hands on your waist, allowing him to touch and hold you as much as he wanted and to permit him to do so, a single sight on your eyes was all it took.
He hissed as his hands molded the curve of your waist and instantly afterward drew you into his body, pulling you fully against the wall behind you. Your back arched instinctively and you gasped too, so softly, your chest pressed against his with the motion.
“Touch me.” Feyd-Rautha pleaded, he had never pleaded so... desperately for anything ever in his life.
That was your allowance for your hands reaching for his body, out of control, one making a slow path up through his strong arms while the other rested against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart under your palm, beating echoing your own. Your fingertips gently patted his muscles, recognizing his skin and his body. You got the abrupt urge to claim it as yours. To claim him.
You felt yourself blushing at all the overly imaginative and lustful images of him invading your head.
His nose brushed against yours, nuzzling it affectionately, still without opening his eyes, as if he were in some kind of dream from which he didn't want to wake up. His fingers caressed your belly, tracing a slow caress across your entire abdomen upward, while his other hand gripped your waist, holding you against him.
His touch triggered an immediate reaction across your flesh, skin shivering under his fingers.
Feyd whispered your name like a prayer, like a thirsty man, crawling and screaming for water.
“I'm trying to be good...”
“Don't be.” You whispered back, almost begging, looking up at him, gaze meeting his once he opened his eyes. “Please, Feyd—”
Then finally his lips landed on yours, initiating a kiss that you both craved so much, maybe he more than you for the way he brought you close to him, almost possessively, like a mad man, almost as if he was imprinting his mark on you, marking you for whoever had the courage to look at you.
He let himself sink in the way your lips fit against yours, in the warmth your body offered him, in the all too familiar sensation he could sense in every single fiber of his core from the kiss, your kiss.
Feyd-Rautha felt like a roaring beast just unleashed, ruthless and insatiable, just like when he walked into the arena, eager to kill, rooting against his opponents —and now he was rooting for you, to be near you, to intertwine his soul with yours, to claim you as his own.
And claiming you he was, his scent covered you all over now, making you feel a burning sensation in the pit of your stomach, throbbing crotch, blood seething like an infernal flare. Anyone who came near you would not only smell you, but him too, on every inch of your body. His hands roamed just under your breasts, rubbing across your ribcage and sliding down your back, fingers just barely grazing your ass, pressing you tightly against him in desperation, grasping and squeezing as much of your tender flesh as they could.
Your own palms roamed up his chest, caressing his broad shoulders, all the way up to his neck, tugging him closer to you in desperate motions, impossibly close.
When your bodies begged for oxygen, you broke the passionate kiss, leaving you both breathless. He kissed you once more, allowing you to breathe just for a few seconds before all you breathed was him. He wanted to become your oxygen, something indispensable to you, something you needed to live with, a necessity.
“You're the only one.” Feyd-Rautha mumbled out as his hot and soft lips trailed down a wet path all the way to your neck, tracing the line of your jaw with sloppy kisses, each time his lips pulled back from your skin a wet noise echoed and filled the room, making you gasp.
You could feel the way his lips were modulating each word against your skin, as if using a language so intimate and so tight that it took your breath away. A language known and used just between the two of you.
With desirous eyes he looked at the dark crimson mark he'd left on your throat before raising them across your flushed face, his hands cradling your jaw, thumbs caressing your skin tenderly.
“When my uncle gave me the announcement that I was to marry you, I kicked them all out.” He continued to explain, pecking your lips a couple of times before kissing each cheek, your forehead, your eyelids, your nose, every single feature of your entire face, with the utmost care and adoration.
No one had ever looked at you the way he was looking at you right now.
Feyd rasped out a small chuckle, breath warm tickling against your nose. “And by kicking them out I mean I killed them.”
His comment didn't surprise you at all, in fact, it didn't even provoke a reaction in you. During the week you had been in his company, you had already gotten used to Feyd-Rautha's -almost cruel- honesty and sassy remarks, you were just starting to get used to his very eccentric and unique attitude. Because the na-Baron's personality was something that was most captivating to you, he was so different yet so similar to you.
“Of course.” You replied, trying to hold back that dark grin on your lips, an action that caused him to kiss you once more, his attention was on your mouth the whole time as you spoke to him in that tone of voice. “I would expect nothing less from the Feyd-Rautha and for my future husband.”
Again he rested his forehead against yours and you were the one who kissed his lips this time. It had become a reassuring habit in a span of less than five minutes for both of you.
“I can't do anything to you until we get married, my uncle would find out otherwise. I have —we have— to behave, my love.”
He seemed to read your mind this time, or maybe it was the way you were looking at him, biting your lower lip gently, eyes darkened with desire, silently begging him to just take you right there against the wall when he called like that.
Perhaps Feyd-Rautha was a hopeless romantic just like you or he simply desired you in ways that went beyond mere sex or plain lust.
“Are you afraid of him?” You softly asked him, your fingers stroking the back of his neck, feeling the smoothness of his skin. Your fingertips followed the trail of one of his veins marked on his neck, making him gasp lightly.
“Have you seen him?” Feyd responded with another question, a curved little smile on his lips, his tone of voice directed pure sarcasm. “I don't think I'm in such a position as to challenge the Baron.”
You nodded your head, fingers stroking his cheekbones now, tapping the moles that spread across his face affectionately. “He's terrifying.”
Your heart seemed to melt as you watched him close his eyes and lean against your hand, kissing the palm in action.
“Mhm...” Feyd hummed, watching you attentively, as if he was memorizing every inch of your face. Suddenly, his expression changed to one of amusement.
“Were you seriously jealous of my darlings?”
Your heart seemed to drop to your stomach and burn with your guts as you heard the nickname fall from his mouth.
“Call them that again and I'll cut your throat.” You murmured against his lips, kissing them slowly before pulling away from his body, looking up at him with dark, yet playful eyes, your hand roaming across his chest until it fell to your side as you stepped away. Then you made your way towards your bed with a very slow pace, under the attentive gaze of his azure eyes following every movement of your hips.
His heart —apparently non-existent until then— was pounding like crazy inside his chest as his lips parted, for once again you had left him speechless.
That was living proof that you were simply made for him. And he for you.
And maybe that just meant you were each other's weakness, people would say so.
But he felt just invincible in your presence, as if your company made him behold the whole universe, gave him the power of the all galaxy at hand, making him feel like the only man in existence. Your man.
Feyd-Rautha had never felt so desperate to make you his wife and finally call you his.
#feyd rautha x reader#cosmictheo#feyd rautha one shot#feyd rautha x you#feyd rautha imagine#feyd rautha#feyd rautha harkonnen#dune x reader#dune 2#dune imagine#austin butler x reader
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Understanding - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader
A little break up, make up one shot while I work on part two of stay 💕 as always, let me know what you think! 2.4K Words ❤️
You had been understanding. You had been so, incredibly, unbelievably understanding. You had been kind, patient, considerate. You had thrown every insecurity away in your mind. You shoved your feelings right down your throat.
But that was over with now.
Now, you faced him. In the middle of the yard, your throat agonizingly raw from yelling. You were shocked he hadn't phased yet, but he knew the minute he did you would take off. The pack, watching from afar and unbeknownst to you, were also shocked at his restraint.
"I would NEVER do anything to hurt you. Why won't you believe that?"
You laughed wetly through the tears. You were down right manic over what he didn't comprehend.
"Really?? You don't understand why I would be upset by ANY of this? Are you that fucking blind?"
Paul huffed through his nose, attempting to control his temper.
"I have a job, Y/N. There's new bloodsuckers popping up every day now and we have to make sure we're ready for anything. That means stacking up our numbers against them. Guy or girl, they have to be trained."
You scoffed, rolling your eyes,
"And don't you find it at all peculiar that everyone else is out on their own but you're STILL having to train this same girl? DAY IN AND DAY OUT?!"
He sighed.
"She should be ready, I know. But every time we get on patrol, she gets fearful and fails at basic exercises. Sam has me spend extra time with her."
You threw up your hands as if the answer was obvious, "Then TELL Sam to have someone else take a turn?"
"She only likes training with me."
Your eyes went wide, and all you saw was red.
"AND THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU ANY FUCKING CLUE THAT MAYBE SHES FAILING ON PURPOSE FOR YOUR ATTENTION? THAT MAYBE SHE DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IMPRINTS? THAT MAYBE PERHAPS SHE HAS DIFFERENT INTENTIONS?"
Paul shook his head, him now scoffing.
"It's actually really hard to learn to navigate being a wolf. That's something YOU don't seem to understand."
You think you had lost your mind. It seemed as though the world crumbled around you, his words ringing in your ears from the impact. That was not something the imprint you knew before this would have ever dared say to you. It wasn't that you believed Paul would ever be disloyal, but your instincts were damn sure this girl wanted him to be.
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat.
"You're right. I don't. You need to be with someone that understands. We're done."
Paul stepped back like he had taken a blow to the chest. His eyes softened now.
"You....you don't mean that."
You headed towards your car, not being able to face the broken look in his eyes.
"Y/N, wait," he reached out, and even though you were mad, a part of it killed you to deny him.
You shook your head, new tears rehydrating their original streaks.
You sniffled, and took a deep breath.
"I'm tired, Paul. I'm tired of waiting up for you. I'm tired of being left unanswered for hours. I'm tired of making plans that just get canceled. Im tired of being lonely. And most of all, I'm tired of being disappointed."
He grabbed your arm before you could fully get in, and you saw Sam emerge, still at a respectable distance from the two of you.
"Baby listen, okay, I'm sorry. I can do better I-"
"You've said that before Paul. This is not the first time we've fought about this."
Tears pricked the corners of his eyes now.
"Please. Don't." He whispered.
He almost made you cave. You so badly wanted to stay. But you also knew if you did, it would be the same reoccurring cycle. He had to know you were serious. You wanted the relationship you had before she came along. Until you were sure you would get that again, you had to leave.
"I have to go. Call me when your priorities change." You said as you gently pulled out of his grip and shut the door. And with that, you took off to your father's place.
-
Paul stood planted in the same spot you had left him, shattered. What had he done?
He felt a small hand on his shoulder, a feminine voice in his ear,
"Maybe it was for the better. She seems like a total bitch."
Paul's blood turned cold. It was as if in that very moment, he had come to his senses. The smoke had cleared in his crowded mind. You were right. Of course you were right. All the stress that had been on his plate, he hadn't been thinking clearly at all.
He came to realization now, and it was too late.
Paul yanked away his arm, turning with a fury in his eyes to the woman behind him. She shrunk back under his gaze, feigning an innocence he knew good and well was all fake.
He trembled with anger, barely registering that Sam was now in between him and the girl. Paul pointed a finger at her, teeth gritting with anger.
"Get. The FUCK. Away from me."
Paul ripped apart as he phased, having it bottled up for far too long, and dashing off like a mad man into the woods.
The woman gaped like a fish, starting to babble, turning to Sam for reassurance.
"I didn't do anything I-"
Sam huffed a breath through his nose, "You heard him. I think it would be best if you left. Embry's cousin or not, you are no longer welcome here. That's an order."
Sam shook his head, running a hand through his hair as she stormed off. He felt guilty for letting it get like this. He had some suspicions about her joining the pack, seeing as she was always gravitating towards Paul, but he had shrugged it off, too occupied with everything else going on.
Sam also knew too well what it was like to hurt an imprint. Physically or emotionally, the bond felt all the same. Strict alpha or not, he valued Paul as a brother, and just hoped you would come back for him.
-
As Paul laid his head onto his pillow, he watched the days go by before him. Being forced to come eat dinner by Emily and whenever he had patrol were just about the only times Paul left his bed. He would call you once a day, sometimes with a small hope you'd answer, and sometimes just to hear your voicemail. After his patrol shifts ended, he would often sneak off to your house, just to make sure he'd know you were safe, if even from a mile away.
-
"Do you think she'll ever come back?" Kim asked Jared quietly one day, after watching Paul barely eat his food and sulk back up to his room.
"I don't know honestly. Y/N is just as stubborn as he is. But I do miss him. I've never in my life seen Paul like this. His internal thoughts are depressing as hell..."
Kim sighed, "It's not like she's doing any better. She finally answered my call yesterday, and I had to double check who I was talking too. She's miserable, Jare."
He shrugged, "I mean what can we do about it babe? You can't get involved in people's business like that."
"They're not people. They're family." She mumbled as she clutched her coffee mug.
-
Another week had gone by, the pack all sitting in the kitchen getting ready to eat.
"Boys. We have information on the new vampires in town," Sam announced as he walked through the door with Jacob.
"They're after Bella. She had a run in with that red head we keep chasing to the border every night. Her boyfriend had tried to kill her so the Cullen's killed him, and now this bitch is assembling an army to take her out for revenge." Jacob relayed.
This grabbed Paul's attention. If they were after your sister, that meant you were in danger.
"We're going to help them fight. Our people are at risk if we let this get out of hand, or if the Cullen's lose. But until the army comes here, we're going to be sharing shifts with them to watch over the Swan house," Sam said, looking at Paul who was heading out the door.
"Paul."
"You can watch Bella from a distance. I'm taking my imprint home," he slammed the front door.
"I can't imagine that's gonna go good." Embry mumbled.
-
Your body jolted upright from the couch at the abrupt knocking on the front door. You hadn't been expecting anyone, Bella out doing who knows what with Edward, and Charlie hours away on a fishing trip.
Opening the door your breath caught in your throat.
"What are you doing here?"
"We have to go. Now." He said sternly, ignoring your bewildered look as he flew past you and up the stairs to your room.
"And just who the hell do you think you are?!" You stormed after him, appalled he was barging in your house like this.
"There's an entire army of vampires on the hunt for your sister. You're not safe here, I'm taking you to Emily's." he said as he grabbed a suitcase and started throwing random clothes in.
"You don't own me Paul Lahote. I'm not going anywhere with you." You crossed your arms as you looked at him incredulously.
He refused to look you in the eye as he spoke, his breathing heavy from your scent,
"It is still my job to protect you whether we're together or not. You don't have to talk to me at all if you don't want too, and you can sleep in the spare bedroom" He said as he continued to pack.
You laughed.
"Come to Emily's with her there? I think the fuck-"
"She's not there anymore."
"Ohhhh so because she's gone you care about me again."
He stopped, this time turning to look you in the eyes for the first time in two weeks.
"Don't you ever fucking say that. I could give a shit less about her. It's always been you. I'm....look, I'm sorry I didn't make you believe that before. You were right. And I was so unbelievably wrong. I understand why you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm not asking you to forgive me. Im asking, just for the time being, that you do this so that I know you are safe....please."
You wish you could have stopped the tears that welled up in your eyes. A part of you wanted to stay mad forever, just to make a point. But the other just wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. Two weeks felt like two years apart from him, and your heart so desperately ached to be near him again.
"Fine," you whispered.
Paul looked like he wanted to say something more, his eyes lingering on yours, but he decided against it, zipping up your bag and heading to the truck.
-
Once you both arrived to Emily's the pack headed out to train with the Cullen's, leaving you both and Kim at the kitchen table.
"So you guys.....didn't make up?" Kim asked disappointed.
You shook your head, "He just wanted me here. He apologized and said he wanted me to be safe. It was left at that."
Emily reached her hand over into yours,
"Do you want to be with him?" She asked genuinely.
"I.....I mean," you sighed. "Of course I want to be with him. I just was so angry, you know?? I didn't like feeling that way in our relationship. Alone."
The girls nodded understandably.
"If it helps, he's been an absolute wreck without you. I think if anything it was a wake up call." Kim offered.
"I haven't been exactly living the best either," you slightly chuckled.
"Well. We are more than excited to have you back in the house. That being said, I'm going to need both of your help with dinner." Emily smiled as she looked at the clock, standing up.
You grinned, happy to at least be here with your friends.
-
It was the night before the fight. Everything was quiet, but you lie awake, your mind racing. You hadn't said much to Paul in the three days you were here. There were lingering stares, brushing past eachother occasionally in the hall, but no conversations had been had. You felt a pit in your stomach at the idea of this fight. What if something happened and you never got to see him again? What if the last thing you had between you two was this awkward tension? The more you thought about it, the faster the tears spilled down your cheeks. You sniffled hard.
A gentle knock at the door startled you, getting up you frantically tried to wipe them away.
There he stood on the other side, leaning against the frame. His eyes looked so exhausted, like he hadn't gotten sleep either in days. "Whats wrong?" He said softly, taking a look at your face.
His gentle voice was enough to send you flying into his embrace. You arms wrapped around him as you sobbed into his neck.
He held your waist as he walked you both backwards into the room, shutting the door. His hand caressed your face as he leaned his cheek on your forehead.
"Hey, hey. Shhhh. I'm right here. It's okay. You're okay. You're safe."
You leaned back just enough to look at him, shaking your head. Your voice was broken and trembling,
"I-I don't care that I'm safe. T-tomorrow. A-and you. What if we never-"
Paul used both hands to cradle your face.
"Hey. Listen to me. Everything will be okay. This is what we've been training for. It's us and the Cullen's against them, our numbers are stronger. I'll be fine, alright? I'm just happy you're here and away from harm."
"I can't live without you. I love you." You whispered.
Paul instantly kissed you. It was like a wave of relief and happiness washed over you as you kissed him back with every ounce of passion you could muster.
Both your tongues danced as you refused to pull away from eachother. Paul bent down only for a moment to hoist you up in his arms, taking you into his room instead.
Unfortunately due to advanced hearing, the house was no longer quiet that night.
#paul lahote#sam uley#bella swan#edward cullen#embry call#twilight#imagine#jacob black#new moon#quil ateara#paul lahote x you#paul lahote x reader#paul x reader
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Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader
no y/n and i try to avoid descriptors but do use she/her. you star in house of the dragon and your character is aemond targaryen’s girlfriend (let me live ok i know we could change him! he told me!!) aaaand also tbosas as sejanus girlfriend (get it bc rachel and josh and now you and tom). your character in tbosas is nova may winter.
your social media ~
just a fun little social media series, will do this in between editing my coriolanus snow x reader series. first part below the cut, sometime early 2023.
liked by enews and others…
tmz_tv trouble in paradise? rachelzegler and tomblyth spotted looking a little cozy last night! wonder how yourname and joshandresrivera feel!!!
yourname heartbroken!
↳ joshandresrivera shocked!
↳ yourname betrayed!
↳ joshandresrivera bamboozled!
↳ yourname flabbergasted!
↳ joshandresrivera devastated!
↳ yourname yeah that we weren’t invited hadbdjsndj
↳ tomblyth i hate you both 😭
↳ rachelzegler you guys literally had reshoots for tbosas though????
↳ tomblyth and we offered to reschedule for when all 4 of us could go?
↳ yourname fuck we’ve been exposed
↳ joshandresrivera gotta blast!!!
username wait are they really dating?!
↳ username no. rachelzegler is dating joshandresrivera and tomblyth is dating yourname.
↳ username waaaait i just read tbosas. obviously coryo and lucy gray, but also yourname character is dating joshandresrivera character 😂 so everyone had to kiss each others significant other 😂😂😭
↳ username oh to be yourname and rachelzegler
🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 30 minutes later 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️
⚪️⚫️⚪️⚪️
⚪️⚪️⚫️⚪️
⚪️⚪️⚪️⚫️
liked by taylorswift and others…
yourname here to serve your #snowbaird needs! first 3 📸 are the love of my life and tomblyth is in the shots too.
rachelzegler hahaha i love you
↳ yourname marry me when???
tchalamet where was the post for paul and luna when dune came out? #fakefriend #betrayed
↳ yourname timothée??? i literally made a whole youtube video talking about my experience with dune? and i sung your praises for like 10 minutes???
↳ tchalamet not the full first name 😳
joshandresrivera and what about the ship for our characters 🤬
↳ yourname istg you’ll get an entire post dedicated to u once the film is actually out.
↳ joshandresrivera carry on 🤭
ewanmitchell aemond and juliette didn’t get a post either 🤨
↳ yourname aemond killed my baby lucerys, he doesn’t get shit 😞
↳ ewanmitchell you did a whole post when osferth died????
↳ yourname my sweet baby osferth did not deserve to die either 😔
username damn yourname your onscreen boyfriends are low key needy af 🫣
↳ yourname i know right 😩
tmz_tv 👀
↳ yourname this was a joke. i’m laughing at you, not with you.
yourname has blocked tmz_tv
tomblyth caption got me like 😧… and what’s the last photo my love?
↳ yourname my lockscreen is what it is.
↳ username “my love”
↳ username she said my lockscreen hahdudsbdifesz one of us one of us
hunterschafer you’re my spirit animal
↳ yourname hunter is the ACTUAL loml you guys
↳ tomblyth “heart been broke so many times” - rod wave 😧
username i read the book. coriolanus has to choke nova may. tomblyth did u develop a choking kink 🤭😏😏😏
↳ yourname hahahaha username i love you so much for this
↳ username someone spoil it for me why does he choke her
↳ username nova may figures out that coriolanus is the one who betrayed sejanus right when he’s executed and she goes to confront him later. this is when he and lucy gray first get to the cabin. she has a gun but he manages to throw it to the other side of the room. and at least in the book he slams her against a wall and tries to kill her by choking her.
↳ username istg they better put this scene in the movie.
↳ username but does he kill her?
↳ yourname watch and seeeee!
↳ rachelzegler so proud of my girl yourname! we can’t talk about it too much because #spoilers but you guys she’s incredible and it was so cool to watch her and tomblyth film that scene
username i bet tomblyth felt so bad having to be mean to yourname
↳ yourname all jokes aside, tomblyth aka the actual number 1 love of my life, he did feel so bad 😭 i love seeing him turn into coriolanus because it’s obviously so different from who he actually is as a person. but after each take he’d immediately ask if i was okay 🥺🥹
↳ username god i’m so single
if you’d like to be tagged in future tom blyth x actress!reader let me know!
#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tom blyth#rachel seller#josh andres rivera#coriolanus snow#lucy gray baird#sejanus plinth#tom blyth x reader#tom blyth x you#tom blyth x fem!reader#tom blyth x f!reader#tom blyth x actress!reader#tom blyth fluff#tom blyth fanfiction#coriolanus snow x f!reader#coriolanus snow x fem!reader#coriolanus snow x reader#ewan mitchell#house of the dragon#hotg#the last kingdom
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Paul's grief over time: A Compilation
“During the session [in 1981] Paul fell into a lugubrious mood. He said, ‘I’ve just realized that John is gone. John’s gone. He’s dead and he is not coming back.’ And he looked completely dismayed, like shocked at something that had just hit him. ‘Well, it’s been a few weeks now.’ He said, ‘I know, Eric, but I’ve just realized." (Eric Stewart)
“It’s still weird even to say, ‘before he died’. I still can’t come to terms with that. I still don’t believe it. It’s like, you know, those dreams you have, where he’s alive; then you wake up and… 'Oh’.” (Paul, 1986)
"Occasionally, it wells up. Y'know, and I'm at home on the weekend suddenly and I start thinking about him or talking to the kids about him and I can't handle it." (Paul, 1987)
"Is there a record you like to put on just to hear John’s voice?" I ask Paul the next day. Paul looks startled. He fumbles. “Oh, uh. There’s so much of it. I hear it on the car radio when I’m driving.” No, that’s not what I mean", I persist. "Isn’t there a time when you just wish you could talk to John, when you’d like to hear his voice again?" For some reason, he instead responds to the original question.“Oh sure,” he says and looks a little taken aback. ‘Beautiful Boy". (1990)
"Also not obvious is that McCartney [for the Liverpool Oratorio] has penned a gorgeous black-spiritual-like piece for mezzo-soprano that intones the last words spoken to John Lennon as he lay dying of gunshot wounds in the back of a New York police car -- "Do you know who you are?" McCartney gets a bit choked up at one point when he reveals, "Not a day goes by when I don't think of John.” (1991)
"Delicious boy, delicious broth of a boy. He was a lovely guy, you know. And it gets sadder and sadder to be saying “was”. Nearer to when he died I couldn’t believe I was saying “was”, but now I do believe I’m saying “was”. I’ve resisted it. I’ve tried to pretend he didn’t get killed." (Paul, 1995)
"Paul talked about John a a lot, but the strange thing was that it was in the present tense, “John says this" or "John thinks that. Very weird." (Peter Cox, 2006)
“John Lennon was shot dead in 1980. That totally knocked dad for six. I haven’t really spoken to him a lot about it because it is such a touchy subject." (James McCartney, 2013)
"It's very difficult for me and I, occasionally, will have thoughts and sort of say: "I don't know why I don't just break down crying every day? […] You know, I don't know how I would have dealt with it because I don't think I've dealt with it very well. In a way… I wouldn't be surprised if a psychiatrist would sort of find out that I'm slightly in denial, because it's too much." (Paul, 2020)
"Like any bereavement, the only way out is to remember how good it was with John. Because I can't get over the senseless act. I can't think about it. I'm sure it's some form of denial. But denial is the only way that I can deal with it." (Paul, 2020)
"When I talked to Paul about John and when he missed John most, he couldn't answer me for a long time and his eyes teared up. And I asked him where he thinks about John and when John comes into his mind and he just … he lost it, he completely lost it." (Bob Spitz, 2021)
-------------------------------------------------
The following two are from the gossip website Datalounge, so they may or may not be true. Still interesting though:
"The one time I was ever actually in a room with Paul, zillion people between me and him (and no way I'm gonna bother him, all of us who travel in celeb circles have people we're fans of and all of us inexplicably try to hide it to seem "cooler"), he started talking loudly about himself and John, and how hard it was not to have him there. I remember him saying something along the lines of not a day passing that John's not still in it with him, but it's not like he can pick up a phone and say, "Hey, just needed to hear your voice today," and even when he got craggy responses, he still missed them. He misses it all, and it's bothering to him that he misses him more as time goes on -- it doesn't heal, he just learns new ways to bandage the wound."
“Since everyone is anonymous here, I guess I can give a bit of info I got from a female friend of mine who at one time worked as one of Paul’s assistants. [...] She does not know for certain if John and Paul were involved but she suspects it since to this day whenever John’s name is brought up he acts in her words ‘like a widow’ and he also addresses John in present tense. He would say things like, ‘John thinks that the music should be like this,’ and during his bitter divorce from Heather he was saying, ‘John says that this is getting nasty.’ Kind of creepy." (this one actually seems very intriguing because it sounds very similar to what Peter Cox said, about Paul often talking about John in the present tense, saying "John says.." or "John thinks...")
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I'm thinking about the implications again.
The numbers that the hive mind performs aren't random. Both the lyrics and the choreography will often boil down to to one purpose: to cause pain. (Pokey is ruthless.)
Sometimes it's physical, and that's easy to spot. The cops spend half of their song just kicking and pushing people to the ground. Join Us And Die literally ends with Ted getting beat up.
And when the choreography doesn't allow for it, the lyrics are specifically trying to elicit an emotional response. The hive uses Alice to torment Bill. He's watching someone he loves die in front of him. It does the same for Charlotte.
Okay, the hive gets a kick out watching people suffer. That's not new information. But the implications...
Look at Inevitable. It's a pretty significant shift from the rest of the numbers. Whereas those seem tailored for pain and fear, Inevitable seems to be comforting? Just look.
Paul walks out, and the first thing he does is hug Emma. Which doesn't seem significant at first, but think: Did Bill get that same courtesy?
Alice's first line is meant to taunt Bill. Paul's is almost consolatory; " Emma / I'm sorry / you lost." I won't dissect this completely, the theory is that this first line is genuine. Paul is actually sorry that their plan failed.
And when you take a look at the choreography, it becomes clear that it's a lot kinder than the other songs.
We see Paul waltzing with Emma and kissing her hands. And even though he's not letting her get away, he's not trying to hurt her. He's not even trying to intimidate her. He's shown more than once bending down--getting on her level, like you would to a child--as opposed to towering over her.
The lyrics aren't messing with her either. Whereas Sam is manipulative and Alice is spiteful, Paul's lyrics are reassuring.
"I'm still the man you trust," is a lot different than "Don't you twust me?" when you get right down to it. It carries with it a connotation of 'I'm okay, and you will be too.'
"What if I told you I made it?" actively contradicts the 'I killed your loved one' narrative that Alice used with Bill.
It's not like Emma is buying any of it. She's still terrified. Paul doesn't need to hurt her or taunt her in order to scare her, just singing was enough. But it's clear that he's not trying to.
The hive mind gets a kick out of watching people suffer. Emma is the leading lady. You'd think that she's the one who should have the most brutal song. But she just doesn't. It seems like her song is trying to be the kindest.
We know it's implied that once they get infected, people are still conscious inside their musical doppelgängers (source: the line "your own body is your front row seat" as well as Sam breaking through its control long enough to say "Charlotte" before falling back under).
I think Paul was conscious during Inevitable. I think he knew that they weren't escaping this. I think he knew he was eventually going to kill Emma, and there was nothing he could do about it. But I think he didn't want her to suffer.
Instead, I think he resolved to give her as kind a death as he could. He would lie. He'd tell her he was happy and that she was safe. He'd be as gentle as the hive mind allowed. She was running out of time, so he'd love her with every second they had left.
(but that's just a theory...a musical theory... and cut)
#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#emma perkins#paul matthews#starkid#team starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#lords in black#pokotho#pokey#npmd#black friday#theory#scene analysis#analysis#lauren lopez#jon matteson#jeff blim
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so confused about pepe because he did complete one pretty good lap so he shouldn’t have been at the back of the grid and if im not wrong he was P13 at first so what happened?? im so sick of this already
- 🪷
idk i just hate quali and esp monaco 😶 im so sick of this all
#from a paul perspective im thriving#but pepe........#it was supposed to be his turn this weekend#whats up#*but* anything can happen#what if everyone just lets him go past??#“go on pepe youre so cute you deserve it”#pls im rewatching the race (actually watching it and not just clips for the first time) and pepe just appeared#stomping away all frustrated#aaaaa kill me#asks!#anon!#lotus anon!#🪷!
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more mercenary analysis, whichever merc you want <3
Not a mercenary but... Okay!
Let's dissect Pauling
Always so collected, responsible and efficient. The one who is not afraid to get her hands dirty for the sake of a goal, and her performance is always one hundred percent. What could possibly be not cool about her?
Well, maybe the fact that this all is, in fact, an act. Of course it is.
I'm not saying her determination and dedication to her job aren't sincere decisions of her heart, she really enjoys it and shines in her work. It's just a matter of WHY and WHAT she's doing it for. And on what scale.
For her, her job is EVERYTHING. Eagerly working 364 days a year with barely any rest, masochistically putting herself in so much danger, blindly following the boss's instructions, not even hesitating to kill people standing on the way...
Wow, there's gotta be something going on here.
Well, obviously the Administrator plays A HUGE role in this situation. Why would Pauling trust her so much? Referring to the comics, Pauling trusted her wholeheartedly on whatever the Administrator was planning, even though she didn't know what it was. This blind following that vaguely resembles nothing less than a weird somewhat child-to-a-mother attachment. It's just a Boss, just a job, why?
Because that's what it is. Mother issues. Very apparent.
We don't know anything about Pauling's past, so there's where the headcanons begin:
I'm assuming her birth mother was very neglectful and dismissing, never acknowledged her daughter's accomplishments and struggles. No matter how hard Pauling tried to become "worthy" in her eyes, it seemed to be never enough, as if she didn't even exist at all. Maybe her mother was a substance addict or something and their household wasn't safe and stable, so Pauling had to become an adult early and run away from home as a teenager and find a job to get by.
(I assume that because I believe there was a mention in the canon lore that Ms.Pauling had been working for the Administrator for long long years (don't remember exactly), indicating that she started working when she was still a minor).
So, being taken under the Administrators wing, her young wounded brain found a substitute for a very thing she was lacking, subconsciously clinging onto the Administrator as a newly mother figure, in order to "get it right this time".
Administrators Strictness, responsibility and demandingness were the most favorite qualities of a person of authority in Pauling's eyes, in contrast to the laziness, unaccountability and indifference of the environment in which she grew up. She could finally strive.
This time she would show the mother figure that she's worthy, she's important and irreplaceable; she exists. She would prove that no amount of hardship is too much for her if it means approval for the Administrator.
And the Administrator kind-of-sort-of gave Pauling this pseudo-love in return, encouraging her to sacrifice herself even more for their work. Which is at the very least unfair, and at most just predatory. Administrators "love" was conditional, in contrast with when the real motherly love Pauling unknowingly expected. Administrator was too immature for a mother figure, too much in power for a partner or a friend, yet too close for a formal boss. What is this!? Something not nice.
The Administrator doesn't love Pauling for Pauling, she loves her working qualities. And thus, Paulings subconscious guess was confirmed that "I'm only important when I'm doing the job. I AM the job."
Tying your worth to what you DO instead of what you are is a huge dangerous existential rout one could choose. But she never really knew her importance outside of her skills, so she wouldn't know.
Now imagine how actually painful that character arc was for her, when the Administrator proved herself to be unreliable and secretive, and when Pauling started to question her intentions for the first time.
"... Because I trusted you!"
"Then why are you questioning me now?"
It wasn't even the real conversation between them, just Pauling's mind torturing her.
It reminded me of the crisis of a 4-year-old when they realise that their parents aren't perfect; they don't know anything and they CAN hurt you.This shattering illusion of almighty love. When a child stops believing that the "harsh love" their mother treats them with is simply an abuse.
Wouldn't it be terrifying to realise in your 20s thar despite running for "the mother's approval" all your life, you will never truly get it. If your mother failed to provide it to you at such a young age, nothing will truly substitute that, especially now, when you're an adult, no one will love your inner child the way it was supposed to be loved.
Unless you yourself decide to take that role.
...
Realistically speaking, it's not nearly that sever with Pauling! She's happy in the environment she's in, there's lots of interests for her to explore (Guns, fights, killin'!) So many adventures every day! Even if Pauling has her inner suffering, it's not that bad aa I describe it. Her mother problems may actually be an advantage, a reason she is such a good and caring boss for the mercenaries.
I'm just edgying things down for the sake of the clearer analysis. But still...
If the Administrator will be gone and Pauling loses her life-dedicated job... What will be left? Who is Pauling once Mann Co is no more? Can she answer that?
References:
– A video that helped me better understand the Good Girl mask:
youtube
– "Lise Bourbeau's 5 soul wounds model: Injustice"
#tf2#miss pauling#ms pauling#team fortress 2#artists on tumblr#character analysis#tf2 character analysis#psychoanalysis#team fortress fanart#team fortress#insecure about this one honestly#please watch the referenced video it explains a lot#it was very difficult to write for some reason. maybe because there isn't many familiar/relatable points for me#or maybe because I'm neither a woman nor sapphic#if female mother issues are actually different from any other in this gendered world#i don't wanna gender her though#we all would probably be fucked up if our mother wasn't nurturing regardless of our gender right?#my art#miss pauling is so much more than I was able to fit into this post#loveable idiot
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★ BABY, JUST SAY YES | LS2
Scenario: its no secret that logan sargent isn’t single, but one thing that no one can quite figure out - not even his co workers - is who the mystery girl is. logan doesn’t reveal who until she’s no longer his girlfriend, but his wife. (requested)
Pairing: logan sargeant x fem!popstar!reader
A/N: it’s taken me 4 days of writers block to get this one figured out, but she is finally here! i hope everyone enjoys! <3
logansargeant
liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, and 233,567 others
logansargeant the flight is always worth it to be with her
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sargeantformula another day, another soft launch from logan 😔 when does the pain end?
logansgirl HE LOOKS SO GOOD
formulogan so either logan plays guitar or his gf plays guitar 🧐
⤷ norizzlando i thought that i could figure out something by looking at the music sheets but it’s beatles songs, and i doubt logan is dating paul mccartney
⤷ alexalbonooo23 STOP IT FHIS COMMENT IS KILLING ME 😭 “i doubt logan is dating paul mccartney”
logansargeant
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logansargeant summer dump
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alex_albon getting a little to close to using @/georgerussels tactics
rizzciardo logan pls just tell us who it is 😔 do it for your fans
⤷ norrisnation DO IT FOR AMERICA
formulaobssesed why is logan kinda…
⤷ sargeantformula YOURE JUST LEARNING THIS? HES BEEN FINE
sargeantnation THE FIRST PICTURE HELLO YOU LOOK SO GOOD
ls2sargeant okay, but WHO is in the second picture? 😭
logansargeant
in love
liked by alex_albon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 124,678 others
logansargeant
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formulanorris the location being “in love” is sickening
⤷ piastrizz no literally i want want what him and his gf have
williamillion ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE LOGAN
godblessls2 boy if you don’t just drop her @ rn
loscargirlie logan you wanna drop her @ sooooo bad rn
logansargeant and ynlnsargeant
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logansargeant so glad my baby said yes. happy one year, my beautiful girl.
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ynsworld LOGAN IN RHE MIDDLE OF YNA FUCK I G CONCERT???
oscarpiastri happy anniversary ❤️
⤷ rizzciardo loscar crumbs 🥹 i love them
alex_albon happy anniversary! love you guys.
formulasargeant LOGAN WHAT????
piastrizz LOGAN HUNTER SARGEANT I SWEAR TO GOD
ynfannacc the caption. not okay, young man.
⤷ godblessls2 LMAOO THIS COMMENT IS SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON
rizzciardo the mesh of logan and yn fans in the comments is so funny to me 😭
loscargirlie I KNOW I BEGGED YOU MULTIPLE TIMES TO DROP THE @ BUT COME ON LOGAN
ynlnsargeant
liked by logansargeant, lewishamilton, alex_albon, landonorris, and 789,367 others
ynlnsargeant what a night. thank you to everyone who came out tonight, i am so grateful for your support. on a side note, happy anniversary to my love, @/logansargeant. one year down, forever to go. 🫶🏻
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logansargeant i love you so much baby.
⤷ ynlnsargeant i love you more. thanks for coming out tonight ❤️
ynsguitar the end of an era - she changed her username
⤷ ynloverforlife ITS SO CUTE 😭 she and logan are actually so cute together i can’t even be sad
ynsworld simultaneously extremely happy for you and feeling like my heart has been ripped out. ilysm </3
ynsnumberone i cannot believe i witnessed this kiss in real time
⤷ formulasargeant i have no idea how you survived because me personally? that would be the end
danielricciardo NO WAY. happy anniversary!
⤷ rizzciardo DANIEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LMAO
⤷ sargeantformula apparently only oscar, lando, and alex knew about their relationship. oscar was the only one who went to the wedding 💔 (not to mention daniel has always liked yn’s music)
all feedback is appreciated! thank you for reading <3 - daelynn
general taglist | @renarots (special shoutout to her for always fueling the brainrot for these fics) @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @harrysdimple05 @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie
#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 drabble#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#formula one fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#formula one social media au#formula one smau#formula one x you#formula one fluff#formula one x reader#formula one fic#formula one racing#formula one x y/n#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant#logan sargeant x you#logan sargeant fanfiction#logan sargeant fluff
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What if I died right now?
Ok but no, seriously. I cried and screamed and hit things. I think I could die happy now, best Smissmas present, happiest holidays!
Not gonna talk about the whole plot of the comic because I was in shock for most of it with the occasional screaming whenever a character appeared, BUT here are some things I loved:
• Zhanna's prosthetic hand and her and Soldier's children.
• Pyro is SO HAPPY to see Engie again.
• My man Tavish having a moment.
• This interaction after Scout's whole speech, it's great.
• Miss Pauling is not doing well, girl can't have a win even when she does.
• The most girl boss ever, like oh wow I mean fucking damn!
• Beautiful evil woman <3
• Everyone flabbergasted and horrified by what they've witnessed.
• THIS moment of Pyro going 'OH SHIT-'
• Medic and Heavy comforting each other (AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH).
• He actually adopted her, I didn't dare hope for something this wholesome but I guess we actually got it.
• Here you can see the moment Bidwell's heart stopped, he was legally dead for three seconds, I checked.
• Heavy converting won to US dollars on the spot (that's the hottest thing I've ever seen), and that beard looks VERY good on him.
And the team Smissmas reunion near the end might have actually killed me.
• Scout is the most Jerma he's ever looked.
• Spy almost saying "I'm your grandfather" (I swear he was gonna) and taking off his mask.
• Everyone bringing their families + the Eyelander, Archimedes, Medic's baboon, and Pyro's fucking dog.
• Merasmus and Tome Jones together forever in the afterlife, love wins.
• Medic's gonna cut the turkey with the bonesaw (smart choice).
I am over the moon and my eyes are burning. Merry Smissmas am I right?
#tf2#tf2 soldier#tf2 zhanna#tf2 spy#medic tf2#tf2 demoman#tf2 sniper#scout tf2#pyro tf2#heavy tf2#tf2 engineer#the administrator#miss pauling tf2#tf2 saxton hale#tf2 olivia mann#tf2 merasmus#What am I doing#tf2 bidwell#team fortress 2#Team fortress two comic issue 7
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It's queer! by Nelson Motta (O Pasquim)
"o pasquim" was a brazilian alternative weekly, known for its paradoxical and satirical nature, published between 1969 and 1991. it was recognized for its engagement with the brazilian counterculture scene of the 1960s and for its role in opposing the military regime. in 1970, the magazine published an article about john and paul (and brian) affair, written by nelson motta. here's the translation (with adicional notes) 👇
It’s queer! by Nelson Motta
Paul McCartney loved John Lennon, who loved Brian Epstein, who loved Paul McCartney. All the whole London music scene (1) knows this, and there, the famous suspicion about Paul's “death”, which originated with an American DJ, didn't catch on.
The "death" theory is well-constructed, but the true story (the one about their faggotry (2)) makes much more sense. And it's much spicier. I prove what I said (3):
Everything was going great in the John-Paul-Epstein triangle. Everyone loved each other, they adored jelly beans, everything was rosy, smoke and mirrors, etc. Ringo and George Harrison were always on a different page. The duo was Lennon and McCartney — they sang together, composed together, did everything together. Together with Brian Epstein, of course, who was openly queer and quite relaxed about it.
Everything was fine until Paul and John decided that two's company and three's a crowd, etc., and kicked Epstein out of the bed.
It's not proven, but many serious and well-informed people claim that Epstein committed suicide after a fight with Paul. Epstein supposedly gave Paul a very valuable gift, which Paul not only ignored but also hung up on Epstein, who, in despair, killed himself.
But John and Paul had many arguments, especially when Paul was still single and John was already tied down with the Japanese woman. The nippo, who is very wild and forward-thinking (4), didn't mind sharing John with Paul, but McCartney (that face never fooled Sérgio Cabral (5)) had jealousy issues. They fought and made up many times, even through music.
To "show the proof"(6) (I'm not sure why this phrase keeps coming up): Paul made up by composing Get Back (To Me) (7), and Lennon responded with a passionate interpretation of Oh Darling that everyone thought was "darling" (in the female sense) but was actually "darling" (in the male sense)(8). These are some of the great ambiguities of the English language.
But the Japanese woman really tied John Lennon down; no one knows exactly how. Or rather, everyone knows how.
The press started reporting that they were fighting a lot, and the explanations were always about "business and musical matters." Only a fool would believe that, since it's known that Apple was never in danger, none of the Beatles were at risk of starving, and the duo's musical production never suffered any drop in quality or sudden change in style.
After his last fight with John, Paul met Linda Eastman, who, through talks and things like that, convinced him to re-establish his heterosexuality (9). Probably out of revenge, Paul ended up marrying her to get back at John with a "for your information, I've already found someone else to replace you." (10)
The final result: John recording solo (Instant Karma is third on the American charts) while Paul is also making waves as a solo artist with Let It Be, first place on the American charts, and Paul's solo album has already been released.
Some clueless people might ask, "But how do Lennon & McCartney songs keep appearing?"
Elementary, my dear Jaguar (11): The duo has an exclusive contract with the music publisher Northern Songs until 1972, and everything one does will carry the other's name, at least nominally, as a partner. This practice is very common among songwriting duos where both contribute to the lyrics and music interchangeably.
You must admit that, at the very least, this is a respectable theory. I can't prove it because I've never been involved in this affair, which is absolutely not my specialty.
They’re the ones who are queer; let them figure it out.
notes:
(1) in the original, “patota musical de londres”. “patota” has a kind of pejorative meaning of a group of people. also means a group of friends or colleagues.
(2) in the original, “bichisse”, and it was the best way of translation that i could find.
(3) in the original, “mato a cobra e mostro o (the) pau”. again the best i could find.
(4) in the original, “superprafrentex”, which was a common slang in brazil in the 70s, used to describe someone who was modern and progressive.
(5) sérgio cabral was a famous journalist in brazil, and one of the founders of “o pasquim”.
(6) again, in the original, “mato a cobra e mostro o (the) pau”.
(7) in the original, “Get Back (Volta pra mim)”, which is funnier in portuguese and i tried to keep the tone.
(8) in Portuguese, every noun has a gender. darling can be translated to “querida” (feminine) or “querido” (masculine).
(9) in the original, “restabelecer a mão única”. “mão única”, which literally translates to “one-way street”, makes a reference to paul’s sexuality, implying he was going (or into) on both “ways”, men and women.
(10) in the original, “pra teu governo já tenho outra em teu lugar”, another idiom. but works in english, anyway.
(11) in the original, “Elementar, meu caro Jaguar”, a playful reference to sherlock holmes’ line.
disclaimer: this was written in 1970, so is full of outdated expressions (and slurs) so read carefully!
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Feyd thoughts from Fenring scene
I was sharing thoughts to a friend while rewatching the Feyd and Fenring scene and figured I'd share it here too, it's my blog innit.
He's walking on his own in a completely empty corridor. Upon being followed he ambushes and pulls a knife, meaning he immediately assumes he's in danger. Calm and collected attitude at this prospect, clearly not his first time.
But he also doesn't toy with her, doesn't threaten her beyond asking about her presence, he's not showing any sadistic traits.
He openly asks if they've met because he recognises her, isn't being coy.
Instead of being violent, he tells her the rules: 'You're not allowed in this section', meaning at least he knows not to be openly hostile to guests.
He's suspicious she got past the guards. He asks about that in a higher pitch, but extremely bland face. He doesn't sound upset or happy or angry. More like low key worried.
From there Margot uses the voice.
She reveals he's shunning his own celebrations, AND he refuses to say why despite being asked with suggestive voice.
He immediately recognises the use of the voice on him and calls her a Bene Gesserit. How? He doesn't answer when she asks what makes him say that. We have to keep in mind that his mother (who he killed) was BG, and since we don't know when she died, it's possible he received some training from her.
He instead says he dreamt about Margot, harkening back to Chani dreams from Paul. Meaning we can safely assume he's just as plagued with semi-visions as Paul was in Dune 1 before going to Arrakis, and we can safely assume that's not common knowledge.
Immediately goes 'Don't mock me woman' when she teases him. BUT crucially, she says "a pleasant dream I hope?" which is not mockery but closer to flirting? It's like he genuinely takes that as a literal tease, when the actual teasing is when she says "I wouldn't dare!" which he doesn't comment on, maybe because he's used to many forms of grovelling.
He also reacts as if the voice is a physical pressure, like when you come down on a plane and your ears get blocked, and tries to shake it off:
Again with 'I know your BG tricks'
Margot asks, again, and gets no reply, again. She even says "tell me" in a normal voice. There is no cut or weird editing afterwards, so we can assume that Feyd didn't answer either time he was asked.
Instead he takes his bearing and looks around. He is not aggressive or panicked when he admits to not recognising the place.
Dude is designed to blend into his surroundings. Bonkers he doesn't wear gloves at this stage.
Risk taking : he steps unprompted in the door entrance, and she then says "come to me, kneel," etc. BUT we know he KNOWS about the BG tricks, so we can suppose that he's actually making the decision to go in despite knowing full well she can and will control him.
There's plenty of hints that he may still be heavily under her charm, but there's also evidence he can resist the voice she uses on him (he never answers her repeated questions, tries to fight it off).
He never reacts agressively. He says "where are you going?" with some heat when she leaves though, which to me hints at loneliness. He was all alone avoiding every harkonnen under the moon on his birthday despite being the king of the night, meets a random chick he dreamt about, and now she leaves? Spiced suggested though he may ask because he's not used to people leaving without being dismissed. But imo these can blend.
I lean towards Feyd being quite resistant to the voice because they sent Margot in the first place. Yes, Mohiam wants a child made, but in her excuses, she does't say "I want him bred". Instead she says she's a motherly figure and he might have killed her because he killed his mom. If the voice was such a perfect tool of control, that wouldn't really be an issue, especially once you have him under the Gom Jabar.
There may be an element of "These men [Paul and Feyd] are one generation away from the KH and can't be toyed with carelessly".
He also killed his BG mother, which means he's capable of killing a sister and not any small fry.
So they send a sexy woman to woo him and yet she still has to ask multiple times about what he knows of the BG.
Regarding his dreams, it's also possible Feyd is so compliant and keen to follow Margot because he might have foreseen a freaky good time with her.
One is left to wonder if he looks at Mwaddib walking into the throne room with such intensity not because he's hot for him (he doesn't yet know it's Paul), but because he may have SEEN this scene in dreams. We know Paul was very affected by the spice in the air and food on Arrakis. We also know he made frequent false visions (Jamis helps but it ends up being Chani. Chani and him cut ambiguously in the killing scene. Seeing himself in Chani's place in the final combat scene...) So we can also imagine Feyd may be overconfident in taking in the Emperor's challenge because he's dreamt of this too. Just spitballing.
The BG call him a sociopath with a side of hollywood competency. He has a bit of the BBC Sherlock and Hannibal Lecter disease. He should not be as tame or as competent as he's described and shown if he had the full disorder.
It's very interesting to look at the Fenring scene with sociopathic traits in mind and see how they apply or don't.
He's not getting his need for validation avoiding the party, but he just survived an attempt on his life by his Dear Uncle before getting his freedom dangled in front of him. Lots on his mind.
He's not prone to anger outburst in general. His behaviour isn't very erratic either. Both of these classic traits were probably curb-stomped by the need to fit the mold imposed by the Na-Baron position.
But he definitely has a high sense of his superiority and is opinionated. He speaks up unprompted during the Baron's interview, and again behind the Emperor with 'he's bluffing'
High propensity for violence: check. Whole film, basically. He can be prompted by anger (against Rabban), perceived threat (arena), reactive/defensive (against Margot trailing him). Violence in reaction to fear isn't shown.
Difficulty maintaining relationships : the only people he seems fond of are his once shown, once mentioned pets he brings with him. His family relationships are what they are, and he has no friend to go to on his Birthday.
Generally fearful, vulnerable to anxiety and rejection, easy to humiliate : what a cincher. This is him reacting defensively to Margot's flirting. The BG say fear of humiliation is one of his levers, and if you give him a strong attachment to an honour code, it's very easy to manipulate.
IMO this feeds into his displays of vanity (black teeth, tailor made pretty pets). Also since black is seen as a rich and beautiful colour on their world, his all black outfits with clean cuts may not be as muted as we think they are.
the end... for now.
#feyd rautha#feyd rautha harkonnen#house harkonnen#margot fenring#gom jabbar#dune 2#dune#dune meta#dune part two#dune part 2#paul atreides#character analysis#sociopathy#bene gesserit
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The Incident - Paul Lahote x Fem!Reader
A little one shot that I just couldn't stop writing. A good angst to fluff (btw my fics will never be all angst, im too soft). Also do not fear, Im working on a Sam fic and part 3 to not letting you go. But you let ME know what you think of this one ❤️ 2K words
"My SISTER, Paul. She's my fucking SISTER!" you yelled, voice hoarse as your throat cracked.
"I could give a SHIT LESS WHAT SHE IS. YOU'RE. NOT. GOING." He screamed, jaw taut as he tried his best to subside the tremors that were threatening to take over his body.
You ignored the teeth he bared, shaking your head and scoffing.
"Aren't you tired of this?! I'm going over there. I HAVE to know she's safe."
"YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'LL JUST SIT BY AND WATCH MY IMPRINT GO TO A PLACE WHERE I CAN'T PROTECT HER? WHAT ABOUT ME KNOWING THAT YOU'RE SAFE?? HUH?? YOU'RE SICK IF YOU THINK I WOULD BE OKAY WITH THIS!"
"Sick?!? SICK?!? LETS TALK ABOUT HOW 'SICK' IT IS THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO KILL HER AND THE BABY. THATS MY FAMILY PAUL!"
"AND WERE NOT?"
It had been like this for a week straight. Ever since the pack stormed through the door announcing their mission to kill Bella and the unborn child within her.
You felt as though your two families had been pinned against each other. Head spinning at the idea of there being a 'choice' between your sister and imprint.
On one hand you were desperate to make sure she was alright, but also exhausted at the never ending battle with your boyfriend.
Sure you had talked to Bella over the phone, but you didn't buy into the lies like your father had. Even though you knew significantly more than he did, she still attempted to downplay the situation. She had done this numerous times since getting thrown into the vampire world, but she could only keep you in the dark for so long before you unraveled the truth.
You had to see her. Even if it was the last time. By fate, or at the hands of the pack. You had to be there for her, as she would you.
Leaving your imprint though? Was at task challenging at best. On at least four different occasions you fought with Paul for so long that Emily and Sam had to intervene, prying you two apart at the pleads of other pack members.
Emily would console you while you ranted and Sam would make Paul run off his anger in the woods. When you faced him again, it turned into a rerun of the same argument. Nobody in the house had gotten sleep, and the things were progressively getting worse.
Quil came through the door, widening his eyes.
"Just a heads up everyone, a little comedic relief does not go over well. I saw my life flash before Paul's eyes." He huffed before sitting down.
"When is this going to be overrrr?" Embry whined. He shoved his head in his hands on the kitchen table while you and Paul went at it in the front yard.
Emily sighed.
"Unfortunately sooner than you think....Y/N packed her suitcase this morning." She said quietly.
"You're not really going to let her go over there are you?!?" Kim stood up, looking at both Emily and Sam.
"If you would like to stop her, please, be my guest." Sam motioned his hand to outside, where you and Paul could be seen through the window. You were throwing your arms up and pointing fingers at him, while his voice boomed loudly, towering his large frame over yours.
Kim winced.
You had always been the calm to Paul's raging storm. 'Made him all soft' as the guys would tease. None of them had actually seen you two disagree with each other. In the mind link they saw glimpses of minor arguments, most of the time being reconciled in the sheets..
Paul eventually got an order by Sam to think about something else while on patrol. 'Literally, anything else'.
"She's not going anywhere. I can count on my hand how many times they've been apart since he imprinted. They'll work it out eventually." Jared said as he pulled Kim on his lap, taking a hunk out of his apple.
Kim didn't share a look that she believed him, worriedly looking out to where you stood.
A few moments passed when her body stiffened and she gasped, making Jared look where she was.
"SHIT! SHIT!" He said, throwing Kim off his lap.
Sam turned to look out the window in time to see Paul phase, his sharp claw making contact with your skin. Your blood curdling scream instantly had everyone else off their seats, nearly knocking each other over to race outside.
You laid on the ground as your body wracked with sobs, clutching your side. Blood gushed through your hand as you started to panic, scrambling to stand. The large silver wolf only stood for a few moments before Paul shifted back, completely horrified as he frantically tried to reach you.
He felt his heart nearly rip out of his chest as you backpedaled into Emily, who was helping to hold you upright.
"NO! NO! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! IM DONE!" You cried.
Sam stood in the middle of the two of you.
Paul could feel his chest caving in, hand out, speaking more gently than he had at all in the past week.
"B-baby. Please. Please, I'm- I'm so sorry baby. Please let me just see-"
"NO! I'm done. I'm done. I'm leaving. I'm done." You repeated like a mantra, limping to the car.
"Y/N you cannot drive like this..." Emily attempted to say as she stepped in from behind you. She could see your anxiety was heightened, and afraid to set you off further.
"I have to go," you choked, on the verge of tears as you tried to open the drivers side. You had yet to even notice the gash in your side, adrenaline pumping wildly through your body.
Paul made his way around Sam, grabbing your other arm that was holding the door.
"You are crazy if you think I'm letting you leave like this. Please come-"
You yanked your arm from his grasp.
"Don't. Let me go!" You said coldly.
Paul froze. He couldn't move. You never spoke to him like this. Even in the numerous fights you two had this week.
Every single instinct in his body needed to help you. He knew you were downplaying your injuries. He knew he just royally fucked everything up. But the absolute last thing you could do was walk into a house full of vampires dripping in blood. Fucking doctor or not.
"Come inside and let me take a look at you, okay? Please." Emily said to coax you, frantically looking at your wound.
This made Sam follow her gaze, looking down to see the blood pouring from your side hadn't stopped, and you were growing paler by the minute.
"Y/N....you're going to stay here and I'll call Sue." He said in an authoritative voice, leaving no room to argue as he turned to start dialing the number.
You almost argued. You almost fought both of them on the subject. Your stubbornness almost won.
But you felt an immense pain. So strong you don't know how the hell you didn't notice it when you stood up.
That couldn't be good.
"....Y/N?" Paul said, barely above a whisper. Tears were now silently streaming down his face as he held both hands out slightly. Not close enough to touch you but to be prepared in case you fell.
You could feel yourself start to float in and out of consciousness. You tried to ground yourself by focusing on something. You looked at his hands that were outstretched.
Those hands that you held on your first date. The hands that hover your back anywhere you go. The hands that lift you up from the couch on movie nights to bring you to bed. The hands that move in just the right way when making love to you. The hands that were now shaking, not out of anger, but fear. You loved those hands.
"Y/N? Baby?" Paul said louder, more urgently as he could see you fading.
You watched him get blurry as the world started to spin.
"Paul," you murmured, before fading into darkness. The last thing you remember were the hands that caught you before you hit the ground.
"Y/N!!!" Paul screamed as he caught your body falling into him.
Sam ran back, telling him Sue was just up the street. He instructed Paul to carry you inside and onto the bed. The pack dispersed, each trying to find something to help you such as towels, an emergency kit and pillows.
Paul held you close as he lay you down, while repeatedly whispering in your ear.
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so-so sorry. I cant lose you. Youre everything to me. I'll never yell at you again. I swear on my life. You can do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want. Please, I love you." Paul pressed kisses to your hairline when Sue and her nurse friend entered.
Jared reluctantly came in behind them to lead Paul out of the room as they worked.
"Come on man, she'll wake up soon I promise."
After he was guided out, Paul slid down to sit on the other side of the door, refusing to move. Jared didn't push it, leaning down to sit next to him.
"Sue's seen this kind of stuff before. Just needs stitching up and stuff," Jared reassured as he put his hand on Paul's shoulder.
"It's not the injuries I'm worried about. So much as what she'll think of me when she wakes up. I....I fucked this one up, Jare."
"If Emily can forgive Sam, I think Y/N will forgive you. She's crazy about your ass."
Paul just nodded, praying he was right.
~
Your eyes fluttered open slowly as you woke. You looked around to see that you had been bandaged up along your left side, an IV attached to your arm sat close by. You attempted to sit up, whining when the pain wouldn't allow it. Within a few minutes Emily entered, her face showing relief.
"You're up! How are you feeling?" She checked the IV before sitting on the edge of the bed, careful of your body.
"Sore...where's, where's Paul?" Your heart ached as you started to replay what happened. There was no doubt in your mind what happened was an accident. You had seen the signs he always warned you about, and chose to ignore them in the heat of the argument. Not only that, but the look on his face when you had refused him was too much to bare.
Emily smiled, not expecting you to want to see him so soon.
"He's just outside the door. Hasn't moved. He didn't know if you'd want to see him..."
"I need to talk to him."
It hadn't even been a few seconds when Paul stood at the door. He looked more out of shape than you did. The disheveled hair and dark circles under his eyes told you he hadn't slept in days.
"I'll give you two some space. Just holler if you need anything," Emily spoke as she stood up, making her way around him and down the stairs.
Paul remained where he stood,
"If you don't want to be with me I understand. I have no words for my actions other than I am so...." he cleared his throat, trying not to cry. "So incredibly sorry I put you through this. I put you in danger when I was trying to keep you out of it. You don't have to stay I-"
"Paul please just kiss me." You interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest as you already made up your mind in forgiving him.
He stood for just a moment longer, trying to comprehend if he heard you correctly. It was when you weakly opened your arms for him that he wasted no time in rushing over to you, cupping your face and gently yet passionately kissed you with everything he had. Tears flowed his cheeks at the relief that you still wanted him. Even after everything he had put you through.
You two pulled back for air after a moment, and you ran your hand through his hair.
"I forgive you, okay? I can't imagine my life without you."
He let out a breath, smiling for the first time in weeks.
"It will never happen again. I swear on my fucking life baby." He caressed your hair, neck, landing his palm on your heart.
You two sat like that for awhile. Almost scared to leave each other's presence. You two talked for hours on the bed. Paul had confessed that the night before, while you were sleeping, the pack had fought with the Cullens. You learned that Paul refused to go, not wanting to leave your side. You were grateful to hear that Sam didn't push on him being there, knowing you were all that mattered to him, and he'd refuse him if he had too. Even if it went against his every instinct as a wolf. Turns out that Jacob had imprinted on your niece, and Bella had survived, now as a vampire.
You weren't particularly thrilled your sister was now a bloodsucker, but as long as she was alive, you were happy.
Paul eventually made his way to the other side of the bed, kissing every exposed inch of you, whispering all the things he loved about you in your ear until you fell asleep.
When your heartbeat slowed down and he was sure you were out, he reached down and felt the velvet box in his pocket. No doubt in his mind about the future you both held.
#paul lahote#sam uley#twilight#bella swan#edward cullen#embry call#imagine#jacob black#new moon#quil ateara#fanfic#fanfiction#paul lahote x reader#paul lahote x you#emily young#jared cameron#wolfpack#eclipse#breaking dawn#charlie swan#vampire
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