#past toxic relationship

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

Smthn about escapism and why someone (me) might choose to stay with Kinito even tho he was a bit mean and also didn’t like that u had freewill lol

Also a little bit of thinking abt how Kinito and the Player Who Stays (the Stayer???) share a lot of parallels (working hard to deserve nice things, crippling loneliness, selfish reasons for clinging to one another, self awareness, dissatisfaction/disappointment with their respective realities leading to them idealizing the concept of each other, etc etc)

(The song lyrics are from ‘Woof woof’ by ARTHUR. It took a few listens to rlly appreciate it, now it scratches my brain in v nice ways)

[selfhealingmoments]

[smosh-mouth]

im brainrotting so hard about husband shayne like he's actually married like for real after talking about being single and his bad dating experiences for so long and after working on himself for the better and he was really playing with his ring on stream and he's officially a cat father now and he looks so happy and he's glowing...

[mirrorhouse]

personally i think they can do 70s/80s devil's minion while keeping it so that modern dm still needs a ton of development to Work, because they both have to navigate their feelings now even if daniel gets his memories back. there's the layers of betrayal and resentment they both feel; the fact that they've been apart for decades and have gone through life since then being shaped separately; the circumstances of daniel's turning— theyre all things they still have to work through, with or without an extended history between them.

for daniel, just because he might remember what he felt back then, it doesn't mean he automatically feels the same because of it now. maybe it could even be that he doesn't remember everything all at once; only the cat and mouse game at the beginning of their relationship, or the hopelessness and ruin at the end of it, or the addiction, and for a long time that's all he can remember. maybe he remembers it all but he can't connect what he felt then to what he feels now. it doesn't have to be a switch that flips and suddenly brings back all his old feelings and erases everything else.

for armand, there's an aspect to it that he has to come to love this more experienced version of the boy he once knew, one who is extremely sharp and much better at seeing right through him, one who is not dependant on him or his blood, one who has utterly dismantled everything he was clinging onto for decades, and, now armand's turned daniel, one he can't read the mind of like he used to. even if some things have stayed the same, their entire dynamic has shifted from what was once familiar.

so, even though past dm could be an easy way to go "they were in love once so of course they'll fall in love again", i don't think that's what would happen. in my opinion them having a history would add to their present dynamic but things are so different now it's pretty much brand new territory for them going forward.

[shakingparadigm]

what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?

It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:

During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.

Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.

I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:

I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.

The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.

This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.

The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.

I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.

[alwaysbewoke]

a LOT of ladies failing this test. A LOT!!!

[nephalem-da]

Hello, I'm the anon who asked for reincarnation!reader, I wanted to say that I saw your post with a long request, and I decided to make corrections, because initially my request was long, but I decided to shorten it, because I thought that you would not do it, but seeing your post, I still decided to correct my request, otherwise my request does not change, except for a few things, hope you don't mind this

Bill x f!reader, in a previous life, reader was the same race as Bill, she was his romantic partner until he … well, you know, then Bill found out that reader is reincarnating, and Bill decided to look for her, and wait a trillion years for her to appear

Fast forward, reader is born into the Pines family, she is a young girl, reader is Dipper and Mabel's cousin, she decided to come to Gravity Falls for summer, because she loves taking pictures of nature and the stars, anyway, after Bill is called to Gravity Falls, he finds out that his parther has already reincarnated, now Bill obsessively haunts reader in her dreams, but so far he hasn't talked about their past, about reader, and reader doesn't know what creature is haunting her dreams now, but she feels a strange sense of familiarity, and a craving for him, also the reader doesn't know what he did to her cousins, so she gets closer to him

When Bill started Weirdmageddon, later he caught reader, he decides to return reader's memories of her second life, Bill for a trillion years imagined how they would reunite, and that they would be together again, but when reader remembers everything, she … rejects him, because he decided to destroy her world for the second time, and kill her family, reader is not angry that Bill destroyed their world, and their kind, she knows that this is not what he wanted, but she is angry that Bill turned into a monster, and now he wants to destroy her world and family again, but this time on purpose, reader gives Bill a chance to stop, and choose, her or chaos, but unfortunately, Bill is greedy, he wants her, and to create chaos, so Bill puts reader in a cage to deal with Pines, after that there is a battle, like in canon, except for reader's help in defeating Bill

Everything ends, Bill is defeated, but some kind of sediment remains, in general it's a bittersweet ending as reader still loves Bill despite all his atrocities but she tries to move on … Also thanks in advance if you write this

Eternal Echoes

(Bill Cipher x F!Reader)

Genre: Angst, Supernatural, Romance

Warnings: Mild manipulation, obsessive behavior, emotional turmoil, mentions of destruction and death.

Summary: Bill Cipher's long-lost lover reincarnates as a human, and he obsessively haunts her dreams to rekindle their past love. But when she remembers his destructive nature, she's forced to choose between her family and the chaotic being she once cherished.

The stars shimmered in the night sky over Gravity Falls, a sight that never failed to captivate you. The stillness of the forest, the cool breeze against your skin as you snapped another photograph, brought peace to your restless mind. You were here for a reason: nature, the stars, the beauty of the unknown. But there was something else—a pull deep within your soul, a feeling of familiarity you couldn't quite place. Something in the air had always felt off, but you had never understood why.

You were staying with your cousins, Dipper and Mabel, for the summer, escaping the mundanity of everyday life. As you explored the oddities of Gravity Falls, your camera in hand, you couldn't shake the sense of being watched. Not in a terrifying way, but in a way that sent shivers down your spine. A presence lingered in your dreams—vivid, otherworldly dreams where a strange golden light flickered and laughter echoed in your ears.

But none of that compared to the figure you saw in the shadows of your sleep. He never revealed himself fully, always on the edge of your awareness. His form was an enigma, but his voice... his voice was haunting. Smooth, playful, and oddly familiar. You didn't know why, but you craved his presence. It made no sense. You should have been scared, yet the sense of comfort he gave you was undeniable. As the summer progressed, you found yourself longing for his return each night, aching for answers you didn't know you needed.

Little did you know, your longing was not without reason.

Bill Cipher had waited eons for this moment.

A trillion years—a time so vast it was beyond mortal comprehension. A trillion years of searching the endless universes, all for you. His partner. His equal. His everything.

Before the fall of their kind, before the destruction of their dimension, there was you. You, who had always tempered his madness, who had been the spark to his flame, the balance to his chaos. Bill had been...different then, but when his mind fractured, when his hunger for chaos consumed him, you were lost in the wreckage. Destroyed along with everything else he had once loved.

But Bill wasn't a fool. He knew energy never truly died, and your essence—her essence—would find its way back into existence. You had to. So, he waited. Watched. Hunted.

And now, after countless lifetimes, here you were—reincarnated as a human girl, cousin to those pesky Pines twins. He had stumbled upon you during his plans for Weirdmageddon, a chaotic reunion he hadn’t expected so soon. He could have destroyed you then, taken you by force, but no. Bill Cipher was patient. You didn’t know who you were yet, but soon, you would.

The dreams were only the beginning. He haunted your subconscious, easing into your mind little by little, reigniting the spark between you that had once burned so brightly. He hadn’t yet revealed the truth, hadn’t yet told you of your past life as one of his kind—his partner in crime, in chaos, in love. That would come later. For now, he was content with toying with your mind, making you crave him, making you feel the connection that had spanned eons.

But patience had its limits, and Bill’s obsession with you only grew stronger.

You felt him again that night.

The dream began as it always did, with a golden shimmer flickering on the edges of your vision. This time, however, the figure stepped closer. You could feel the energy shift, and for the first time, the shadowy figure in your dreams was crystal clear. A single yellow eye stared at you, sharp and all-seeing. A triangular form floated above you, his presence towering yet familiar.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this, toots,” the voice purred, sending a wave of recognition through you.

“Who... who are you?” you asked, your voice echoing in the dreamscape, trembling with uncertainty yet laced with curiosity.

The figure chuckled darkly, his eye narrowing in amusement. “You’ll find out soon enough, sweetcheeks. You and I? We go way back.”

There it was again—that familiarity that tugged at your very soul. But you didn’t have time to process it before the dream ended, leaving you awake and gasping for breath, his voice still echoing in your ears.

Bill knew he couldn't delay any longer. As Weirdmageddon began, the chaos around Gravity Falls grew, and he finally made his move. In a calculated moment, he cornered you, capturing you in his chaotic storm. But instead of fear, your eyes reflected something else: trust. Trust that had been built unknowingly through all those dreams, all those moments you thought you were alone but weren't.

With a snap of his fingers, everything came rushing back to you—memories of a life long past. You saw yourself as you once were: one of Bill’s kind, a powerful entity, intertwined with him. You saw the world you once knew fall apart, your kind eradicated. And worst of all, you saw Bill—mad with power, craving destruction, leaving you behind in the ashes.

You blinked, reality crashing down around you. Bill stood before you, his eye filled with expectation, with yearning. His voice was calm, coaxing. “Now you remember, don’t you? We can be together again, just like before. Forget this world, forget the humans—none of it matters. It’s just you and me, kid. We’re unstoppable.”

For a moment, you wanted to believe him. The love you’d once shared still lingered, burning deep inside. But as you looked around at the chaos, at what he’d become, at what he was trying to do again—destroy the world you now called home—you couldn’t.

You stepped back, your heart breaking. “Bill, I remember... I remember everything. But I can’t do this. You’re... you’re not the same. You’ve become a monster.”

His eye widened in shock, his voice stuttering. “What? Me, a monster? Come on, dollface, it’s just a little fun! The world’s our playground!”

“No, Bill. You’re destroying everything—again! I can’t stand by and let you do this. Not to my family. Not to this world. You have to stop, or...” You hesitated, your voice trembling. “Or I’ll stop you.”

Bill’s form flickered, the weight of your rejection crashing down on him. His obsession warred with his greed. He wanted you, craved you, but chaos was his nature. He couldn't let go of either. "You’re giving me an ultimatum? Choose between you and chaos?" His laugh was bitter, but there was a vulnerability behind it, a desperation. “I can have both. I will have both!”

With a snap of his fingers, you were trapped in a cage of glowing energy, hovering helplessly as he turned to face the Pines family. His voice dropped low. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back after I finish this little game.”

When the final battle came, you fought. Despite your heartbreak, despite everything, you aided your family in stopping Bill. The battle raged on, but in the end, Bill Cipher was defeated.

As the dust settled, you stood on the edge of the chaos, your heart heavy. Despite everything he had done, despite the chaos, the destruction, the manipulation, you couldn’t help but still love him. But it was a bittersweet love now, one tainted by the reality of who he had become.

You turned away, trying to move on, knowing it would never truly leave you.

In the distance, you could almost hear the echo of his voice—soft, lingering, as if even in defeat, he was still with you.

[booksandmore]

reminder that the malec age gap does excist and does HEAVILY impact their relationship

[artofrolsch]

She's fine, she's just fine, you're fine, we're ALL FINE

Kind of a redraw of this frame from the book! Just wanted to play with some glitch effects yk

[lianaloverr]

Friends

Colby Brock x Fem!reader

ᜊ

Summary: It’s been 4 months since you broke up, and Colby just can’t seem to move on..

Warnings: past relationships, Colby cheating in said past relationship, Cussing, Angst

Word count: 1.4k

Hii guys! New banner, new story. This is my first story where I’ve really switched the pov’s around, so I hope you enjoy! btw, on Colby’s pov, (first) means first person.

The song "Friends" by Chase Atlantic is about the feeling of longing for a past relationship that has ended.

Y/n’s pov:

It had been 3 months since you guys broke up. You and Colby dated for a year and a half and it was torture. you put everything into that relationship, and in return, Colby did nothing. And after you found out he cheated with multiple different girls, you got into a heated argument.

This ended with you getting slapped in the face and Colby leaving. A day after, you packed all of his stuff he left at your apartment and gave it to his bestfriend, Sam. Sam was a little confused at first because he got on the phone with Colby the night of and nothing seemed wrong. When you explained, Sam was furious. he asked if you were okay and you said yes, but you lied.

You were hurting inside, Colby never seemed like the type to hit. He proved you wrong.

Colby’s pov (first):

God, I miss you, is what I wrote in my 1000th text message I knew I wasn’t gonna send. I can’t grasp the feeling of her gone. “Hey Colby, whatcha doing?” Sam says, barging in my room. “Nothing” I reply coldly. Sam gives me a look, then speaks. “Are you still thinking about her? It’s been 3 months.” Sam states. I hate how he can just read my mind.

“I know Sam, I just miss her so much.” I reply. “Well;” Sam stops his sentence to sit down. “You fucked up, and you can fix that if you really try. Instead of just sitting here crying and wishing she’ll come running back.” Sam finishes. “Sam, that’s the most realest thing you’ve ever said.” I say, half joking. But I wasn’t it was, it was what i needed to do.

𝟣 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁 𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋

Y/n pov:

Your at an influencer party hosted by your mutual. It was pretty cool. They had drinks and games everywhere. You stuck around with your other mutual Tarayummy. She asked you a question that made you rethink your entire life.

“Do you think Colby’s gonna be here?” you immediately froze. You didn’t think of that. You could barely the thought of seeing his face after all this time. He broke you so much. After the breakup, you started cutting, and haven’t been able to stop since. You knew if you could make peace with him, but you couldn’t.

You could stand face to face with the guy who ruined you. Also, when he told his fans that you guys broke up, you were sent death threats from is fans because they thought you broke up with him. You genuinely wanted to, but you held on for hope, and you’re still trying to find it.

Colby’s pov (first):

I just pulled up to this influencer party with Sam. I have no idea who’s hosting it, I just got a random invite to my phone. I see people out in the front yard wasted. Some of them throwing up. I feel bad for the guy who lives here.

When I walk into the house, I just see people having fun, something I haven’t done in a while. Then it crosses my mind, what if Y/n’s here? Thinking of that immediately made me jump. Just the thought of her being there made me so happy. I’ve longed to see her again. After the breakup, she blocked me on everything. I wasn’t able to be the “stalker ex”. I haven’t seen her face in forever, so knowing she could possibly be at this party brings me joy. Maybe I could finally apologize.

Searching for her felt like I was looking for a needle in a haystack. But it didn’t make me feel all that lazy, there were well over 100 people at this party. all i wanted was to find her, and tell her how much i miss her. I miss us. I’ve been stuck in the same place of too long, and all my friends are waiting for of me to move on. But I can’t.

Y/n’s pov:

All night you hoped you wouldn’t see him. You couldn’t do that again. Even if you wanted to get back with him, he never took the relationship seriously. You concluded he wasn’t ready for one.

While walking down the halls you see someone that made you rethink your life again. It was Colby. You were starstruck but quick enough to turn around in hopes he didn’t see you. “Damn.” you thought, you ain’t going through secluded area anymore. Proven to be bad luck.

“Y/n.” you heard a soft voice coming from the end of the hallway. While in the middle of thought, you just decide to talk to him, whats the worst that could happen?

“yes?” you respond quietly. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” he says, on the verge of tears. When he says that, all you could do was stare. The person you were so in love with, and who just left you with no hesitation, can’t move on. You honestly weren’t surprised. Colby has always had attachment issues, but never had a problem going out to parties and having bitches in his bed.

Colby’s pov (first):

I’m still searching for Y/n. This house is too big to be looking for one person. out the corner of my eye, I see Tara. I always knew her and Tara were close so if she was here, Tara would know where she was. “Hey Tara,” I start. “Oh hey Colby! Long time no see.” she smiles and pulls me into a hug. “Yeah it has, but anyway;” I rush to get her off of me. She just looks at me a little irritated and confused, but she listens. “Have you seen Y/n? Is she here?” I ask, eager to know. “Woah slow down buddy, I don’t even think she wants to see you.” She tells me.

“What do you mean?” I frowned. “I don’t know, when i mentioned you to her she just went pale and walked off.” she explains. “Dude, you must’ve really fucked up.” Tara laughs. “Yeah I did, and i’m trying to fix it. Where did she walk to?” I ask, once again. “Uhhh she went overrrr…” she scans the room. “Oh! She went over to that empty corridor over there.” she finished. I didn’t even thank her, I just rushed to the corridor in hopes of finding her.

I stop at the entrance and I see her. She’s walking down kinda fast. As soon as she sees me, she turns around to walk the other way. This broke my heart, she really doesn’t want to see me. I build up the courage to say

“Y/n.” I call out. She stops dead in her tracks, I bet a million things are going on in her head. “yes?” she responds quietly. My heart skips a beat. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” I say, on the verge of letting a river out of my eyes. She turns around then, and I can see that beautiful face I fell in love with, that i’m still in love with.

Y/n pov:

“What do you want to say?” you question, but not very curious because you knew he was gonna give you some bs story. “Y/n i’ve missed you so much. Ever since I left and didn’t get to apologize, I broke-“ “Are you fucking serious?” you ask.

He looks at you with confusion. “You had 4 months. 4 month to try and reach out to me. I know I have you blocked on everything but you could’ve came to my apartment, or you could’ve tried Sam’s phone.” you state. “I-I know I could’ve, but when the time came I would’ve did that.” he lies. “But you didn’t. You left me, no goodbye or anything and you expect me to hear you out? You killed me, everything in me. I can’t go through that again.”

“Wait Y/n please let me explain-“. “No, if listen to you more, i’m gonna punch you in the face. You have to move on. You have to understand I was wronged in that relationship, I just can’t do that a second time.” you say, with tears spilling out your almond shaped eyes. At this point Colby was crying so hard. “Y/n please-“. “Goodbye Colby.” you conclude, and walk out the corridor.

I hope you guys liked it! I really enjoyed writing this but it all happened while something crazy happened. Helped me keep calm:)

Masterlist

[ae-cha08]

[bidisasterevankinard]

Wip Wednesday

do I have the stage where I start new wips but barely write the one's I have because I'm super indecisive and not inspired? yes. let's hope soon I will be fine and work on my wips I want to work on. Anyway meet new wip where bucktommy will have long angst in their relationship because Tommy needs to grief "what ifs" with Sal he never thought about till he sees Sal as Captain of 118 (it's an au where Sal is a captain instead of Gerass)(it's only the start of the fic btw)

thanks to nonny @racerchix21 and this song (the title taken from the song and it's "I tried to go on like I never knew you"

Tommy knows it all should be in the past. In stolen kisses in bars they knew Gerrard and the team would never come too. In usually passionate and wild - almost never tender and sweet - sex. In secrets they shared under sheets, when they both knew that the moment their fabric cover was gone they couldn't talk about those moments of comfort and vulnerability they shared. In breakfast’s Sal made for him and his nonna's lasagna recipe Tommy cooked for the man. In wild dreams Tommy knew could never be a reality. Especially not when Sal changed stations and firstly their meetups were less and less frequent until they stopped after Sal’s wedding. 

And Tommy swears he thought he was over it. Over Sal. Over dreams of the future they could never share. But one look at the man whose appearance barely changed since Tommy last saw him five years ago, staying near 118 trucks the same way he always did, while talking with Chim, and all that got back at him. All the memories of stolen love and painful hope to be happy, proud and loved. Preferably by his “best friend”. By the one of the best men he ever met even if they could be rough with each other or rude or just wrong. Sal always came back with sorry, that Tommy knew was genuine. They were so wrong together, but also so wrongly perfect. So electric. Sal made him feel how almost no one could. Only his first crush Eric from the army, Sal and …

“Hey, handsome, sorry for the delay, Hen needed help to choose a present for Karen,” Evan kissed his cheeks, smiling like thousands of suns.

If Tommy didn’t know and was pretty acquainted with Evan’s quirks and little signs of his fatigue, he would never think the man just ended his 48 hour shift.

“It’s fine, baby.”

Tommy smiles and he hopes his inner turmoil of seeing an old friend is not shown on his face.

“Have you met my new captain yet?”

“No, but I don’t need to.”

Evan adorably tits his head and Tommy wants his heart to be so fast only because of it and the taste of Evan’s lip balm on his cheek, but he swears he can feel the taste of liquor he and Sal were drinking last time they kissed. Right before Sal asked Jennifer out on their first date.

“I worked with Sal. Even more than Chim and Hen,” Tommy says and Evan for a second frowns and then hits his face.

“And they were no less inseparable as you and Eddie,” Chim says, with the loud sound of gum bubbles breaking.

Tommy doesn’t know when he and Sal got closer to them, but he would really happy if they never see that Tommy was there at all. 

“God, of course. In my defense it was so long ago I just haven’t even thought that all three of you were a team.”

“Yeah, I left the station almost a decade ago and it feels like it was in another life, so it’s fine, Buck.” 

Sal smiles at his boyfriend and Tommy wants to make as much room between them as possible. Maybe it will help him to to separate all these feelings of worry and anxiety and love and confusion from the sight of the man he had loved for years, but had never had the opportunity to own his love completely for himself, never feeling that Sal had given him his heart, and a man who he knows is step away from get into his own chest and rip out his heart with all the vessels and give it to Tommy if he just says the word. Sal would never do it even if Tommy would beg

I was tagged by @tizniz @cal-daisies-and-briars @diazheartsbuckley @diazsdimples

Tagging @wikiangela @neverevan @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @evnnkinard @evansboyfriend @evanbegins @evanbi-ckley @repressedqueen @rogerzsteven @racerchix21 @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley @pirrusstuff @saybiwithme @steadfastsaturnsrings @devirnis @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @kinard-buckley @loveyouanyway @lonelychicago @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @bi-buckrights @bewilderedbuckley @monsterrae1 and anyone who wants to

[selfhealingmoments]

[thymejot]

The slight purple seeping out of Agathas eyes as she rages, while her love offers her a flower.

To Rio, Agatha is a scar. The reality is that Agatha is a wound that will not heal.

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

guys... I think agathario could genuinely have the potential to become a hyperfixation for me as intense and as long as rhaenicent has been...

[cod-dump]

Bitter Past AU (toxic relationships, mention of torture)

———

It was a mess, wasn’t it? He thought he could get away with not saying anything to them. Hell, Nik hadn’t expected to be married, hadn’t expected to have a husband and boyfriend who he adored and who loved him. Of course it was only a matter of time before He found out.

At one point in his life, Nikolai served loyally without complaint. It was an honor to fight for his homeland, a honor to serve. He was entangled with the radicals, entangled with Makarov in a much more intimate manner. Nik thought he was rid of him, thought the moment he was in the gulag he would never have to worry about him again.

Nikolai wasn’t proud of what he had done when he was with Makarov. Nikolai loves hard, loved Makarov but the man was insane, dangerous and blood thirsty. Hearing his voice, in person for the first time in years, it made his heart nearly break.

“Сахарок,” Nik wanted to scream, and not because of the bullet wound in his shoulder.

That name, something that he hadn’t heard in years— It just reinforced the fact this was happening. Makarov, Vladimir, was standing before him, was walking over and grabbing Nik’s face as he pressed against the wall.

“Ah, it is you!”

He was kneeling in front of him, cradling his face and grinning. Nik wanted to shove him away, wanted wake up from this nightmare. Why was he here? He shouldn’t be here, he should be rotting away in prison! Not holding his face, leaning in close like he wanted to kiss him!

And he did kiss him, tongue shoving into his mouth and hands keeping his face still. Eager, right to the point from the start, a Makarov special. Nik wanted to gag, but a part of leaned into it. Years of being conditioned to respond exactly how Makarov wanted when he touched him, when he kissed him. It was instinct, even after all these years.

Makarov had grabbed his shoulders to get him to move, Nik of course crying out in pain when his injured shoulder was disturbed. Makarov looked at his shoulder, blood that was now on his hand. Darkness swept over his face, a cloud forming over his head.

“You’re hurt,” he growled before standing. He immediately turned to his men, holding his bloody hand up as the men stiffened, “Which one of you shot him?”

No one made a move, no one daring to emote. Nik didn’t miss this. Makarov was always jealous, overreacted to everything. He was impulsive on top of it all which just led to near constant bloodshed. He didn’t like it when things didn’t go a certain way, his way.

“I’m going to give you one more chance to step forward. Who. Did. This?” he pointed at Nik, Nik trying to keep his breathing even. He knew better than to say something, to try to make it seem like it was fine. Makarov has killed over him before, this will be no different.

One man stepped forward, “I did, sir. He had a gun-“

BANG.

Nik flinched as the man dropped, a single bullet to his head. Makarov had a quick draw, it used to excite Nikolai. Used to…

“I’m sorry, Сахарок, that never should have happened,” Makarov was straddling him, holding his face like he was fragile. Nik could see his men staring at their now dead friend, or was he even their friend?

“I’ll have you patched up, and then I’ll have my knight back at my side.”

No-

“141 will be dealt with later. For now, let’s go home.”

Nik knew they would come for him, his John and Phil wouldn’t just stand by. If he fought against Makarov, he would be angry, he would hunt them and kill them. He needs to go along with him, needs to play nice and give John and Phil time. They won’t die here, he won’t let them.

“I’m tired,” he finally said, Makarov cooing when he finally heard his voice.

“Of course you are. I’ll take care of it! A nice, hot bath, soft clothes,” Makarov muttered against his lips, eye’s half-lidded as he held him.

Nik needed to find a way to protect them. Makarov would kill them without hesitation. He never liked sharing, countless women had been killed over being too friendly with Nikolai. Men who got too close, played too rough, were strung up by their own entrails on the walls. Makarov loved to kill, show his strength. Killing for someone was his love language, one that Nik once spoke fluently. Maybe he even still does considering what he has done for John and Phil.

“Let’s go home,” Makarov said, standing so he could help Nik up.

Nik went along with him, mind only thinking of John and Phil, “Of course, Vladimir.”

If he ever saw them again, he hoped it would be after he’s killed Makarov. Or in the afterlife… there were no other options for him. Makarov either died, or he did.