#part of growing up is learning not to care about this etc etc and i care LESS than i did when i was younger

[menlove]

fun part of autism is Knowing u annoy the fuckkkk out of people and honestly this far in you would just like at least one person at some point to sit down and write like. a long list of annoying things you do. this would save me so much time

[darkwitchoferie]

Stolen Hoodie

Summary: You've been best friends with Chan since he started at your school. You've had a crush on him since you were both at least 20. Now you've decided it's time to ruin the friendship.

Cw/tw: daddy kink, praise kink, a lot of pet names (baby, pretty baby, good girl, etc), a little breath play, oral (both receiving), face-fucking, face-riding, unprotected vaginal sex (mc mentions she’s on birth control), thigh riding, nipple play, brief bit of angst (insecurities specifically), after care fluff. Also, did you know that like, 1/3 of the population has no gag reflex? That’s a wildly high number compared to what I thought.

Wc: 5.8k

This fic is part of a series of unconnected best friends to lovers fics, the others of which can be found on my Master list

You’ve been best friends with Chan since he moved to Seoul, basically. He’d started going to your school when you were both 13 and the two of you hit it off practically instantly. It wasn’t for another year that you learned he’d moved to become an idol.

Since then, you’d watched him work and struggle for his dream before finally, spectacularly, achieving it. You’ve met, and you adore, the seven other men who’ve achieved their dream with him.

You’ve also had a massive crush on him since you were 20. For years, you’ve relegated your crush to impossible-never-going-to-happen territory. And that was fine. Yeah, it was more than a simple crush now and that made things harder for you. But you’d rather suffer with unrequited love than lose him.

Except, you’ve started to notice little things that all add up to him wanting you too recently. Sometimes he would get this look in his eyes when he thinks you’re not paying attention, like he wanted to devour you. Other times, he’d look heartbreakingly fond.

Or, though he’s tried to hide it, you’ve noticed the way your best friend looks at you when you wear his clothes. It’s mostly things like borrowing his jacket when it gets colder than you expected so you didn’t have your own. Or one time when the pair of you got caught in the rain and you had to borrow a shirt and sweats while your clothes dried.

Just to test it, you’d lightly flirted with Hyunjin the other day. Nothing that couldn’t be excused as just friendly, but definitely enough to make someone with a crush jealous. You weren’t sure Hyunjin noticed you were flirting, but Chan certainly did. He’d clenched his jaw, eyes darkening, and quickly excused himself.

You were on your way up to his apartment for your semi-regular movie night. Jeongin was out for the weekend, visiting home, since the group had the time off. Glancing down at yourself, you adjusted the hoodie you’d snuck out of Chan’s room the previous week so that it hung almost completely over the shorts you were wearing, leaving only about 2 inches visible, before knocking on his door.

He answered the door with a smile that then froze on his face. You could practically see the blue screen in his eyes. “Hey Channie. We did agree on today, right?” You knew you had, but wanted to make sure the day didn’t start off awkward.

“Hm? Oh yeah. Sorry, I dunno what that was. Drifted off. Hi Y/nnie,” he tugged you into the apartment, wrapping you in a tight hug. “How was your week?”

As you ranted about your week, you toed off your sneakers, dropped your overnight bag, and followed him into the kitchen. He’d already made dinner, so the pair of you sat at the table while you ate and caught up.

You pretended to ignore that he wasn’t really listening to you, looking at your bare thighs where you sat beside him, or eyes traveling over your torso in his hoodie. That look that said he wanted to devour you was back in his eyes. Periodically, he’d catch himself staring, shake a hand like he was trying to shake himself out of it without making it obvious, then go back to trying to follow along with what you were saying. It never lasted long before he was staring at you again.

You noticed the bulge growing in his shorts – how could you not – but chose not to say anything about that either. Just like you were focusing on not giving in to your own arousal. Yet.

After you finished eating and cleaning up the kitchen, the pair of you started to head for the living room. But, you decided, that just wouldn’t do for what you wanted today.

“Hey Channie?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we go to your room? I just... after this week I could really use some quality cuddling time.” You hadn’t had a terrible week, it had been perfectly normal, but it’s not like he’d been paying enough attention to know that.

“Of course, sweetheart. Anything you need,” he answered with a sympathetic smile. You felt the tiniest twinge of guilt but reasoned that it was only a partial lie, and a white one at that. Besides, he’d have known you were lying if he’d been listening to you.

He headed to his room to set everything up, including his projector and setting his led lights to blue. You stayed in the kitchen, getting drinks and snacks for both of you, then followed him back. When you got to his room, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the door, but not looking up.

You set the drinks and snacks on his desk and asked, “Everything okay, Channie?”

He looked up at you then took a deep breath. "I need you to take that off," he said, gesturing to his hoodie.

"Why?"

"Just... please?"

You shrugged and start to take it off. "Wait!” His shout stopped you. “Are you not wearing your own shirt under there?"

"No bra either," you said, lifting the hoodie high enough to flash him then dropping it back into place when he groaned and looked away. "What's the matter Channie?" you teased, getting close to where he was sitting on his bed. This was going better than you anticipated. Or, faster at least. You thought for sure he’d try to hold off until you were cuddled together in bed. "Ya know that look you get when you think I'm not paying attention? The one that says you wanna devour me? What would you say if I want you to give in to that look, Chan?"

"Don't.” You watched his hands nervously running up and down his thighs, tugging at the hems of his shorts.

"Don't what?"

"Don't say things you'll regret later."

"No regrets here. I love the way you look at me. The way you've been trying not too look at me since I showed up wearing this.” You’d been steadily moving closer and were damn near in his lap now, knees nearly pressed against one of his knees. You stuffed your hands in the hoodie pocket to avoid the temptation to touch him. You wanted him to be the one to make that move. “Channie?” He still didn’t look up at you, so you decided to play your ace.

~ About 1 month previous ~

Neither of you was drunk, but you may as well have been. You were both so sleep deprived, you were impressed you were able to hold your eyes open. But Chan had been gone on tour for ages and you didn’t want to miss out on any time with him while you had it. Clearly, he felt the same way as he hadn’t even hinted at going to bed.

You weren’t sure how the conversation had started, but you were complaining about how unsatisfied you were by your ex. You’d broken up while Chan was away and now you felt free to complain about all the things that had annoyed or pissed you off about him. Like how he never texted first, that he thought you wouldn’t want something for Valentine’s day despite you mentioning how excited you were about the upcoming day.

“And!” You said, sitting up from where you’d been slouching on the ground against his bed beside him. “He never got me off! Well, not never, just very occasionally. Like, okay, I understand that some kinks aren’t for everybody. And it’s not like I wanted him to choke me every time we had sex – but sometimes at least. Plus, I thought guys like having sex without a condom?! I have an IUD, we were both clean, we’d have been fine!”

“Hang on, are you telling me you have a breeding kink?”

You faltered for just a second, kind of surprised you’d said that. “Okay yeah,” you admitted after a moment. “That’s not the issue here, Chan.”

“I mean, maybe it was for him? Did you ever talk about it?”

“Yeah. He thought it was weird.” Chan scoffed. “I know! And it’s not like I was asking him to hit me or anything extreme. I don’t like that. Just a little light choking and some hair pulling, ya know? Some praise, tell me I look good. Call me a slut if the situation calls for it. It’s not asking for much, I don’t think. But he was... boring. Like, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy missionary, but there are other positions.”

It seemed admitting to your best friend that you had a breeding kink had taken away any filter you may have otherwise had. Or it was the sleep deprivation. Either way, despite a part of you thinking you should, you just couldn’t stop talking.

“And then! Okay, worth saying, I don’t like the overly-jealous, you-can’t-have-any-male-interaction-at-all thing. That’s toxic as fuck. But like, if we’re out and someone’s blatantly flirting with me in front of you, at least act like we’re together, ya know? A hand on my hip, kiss my cheek or neck? Then a quiet promise to me that later that you’ll remind me who I really belong to. Just a little possessive, enough to make a girl feel wanted. Not that I’m surprised he didn’t, not really. He barely made me feel wanted in bed, why would he out of bed?”

You sighed heavily. “I should’ve known it wasn’t gonna last though. He was nice enough, but like.... I dunno, Channie. I’m an independent woman,” you looked to him for acknowledgement.

“You are,” he agreed easily.

“And I can take care of myself.”

“You can.”

“But sometimes, I just want someone else to take care of me for a little while, ya know?”

“I can appreciate that.”

You sighed again, slumping back down against the bed. You were both quiet for a few minutes, long enough that you wondered if he’d fallen asleep. Glancing over, you saw that he hadn’t.

“What about you?” you asked.

“What about me?”

“I just shared like so much about my sex life. What about you? Do you have any kinks to share with the class?” you gestured to the completely empty bedroom.

“You shared unprompted though. I didn’t ask for that information, but now it’s in my head. Why does that mean I have to share?”

“So I don’t feel so alone here. Please?” you batted your eyelashes at him. He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his hair and mumbled something. “What?” He repeated it just loud enough for you to hear. “You have a daddy kink? Ya know, not actually surprised by that.”

“You’re not weirded out by it? Like, plenty of people are.”

“Best friend,” you held your hand to your own chest. “That means, totally judgement free.”

Eventually, the pair of you fell asleep in his bed, him spooned behind you, like you had countless times through the years. Neither of you mentioned the kink discussion after you woke up, but you, at least, never forgot it.

~ End Flashback ~

"Please, Daddy,” you nearly whined the words out. Chan's eyes snapped back to you then and you smiled in triumph. "Don't make me beg for what we both want."

"And what exactly do you want?" His eyes had darkened, the pupils blowing out, but he was still trying to hold onto his self control as he gripped the edge of his bed. The tone in his voice and look in his eyes had a rush of arousal gushing from you.

You wanted your voice to come out sultry, seductive. Instead, you feared you sounded desperate. Which you were, but you didn’t need to sound like it. "Want you to ruin me. Wanna feel that thick cock I've seen in your sweats spilt me open and claim me. I wanna be fucked so hard that I'll still feel you when I move tomorrow. Want you to fuck me raw, Daddy, so I can feel you cum in me."

His hand shot up to wrap around your neck, applying just the slightest pressure. Not enough to cut any air flow, just enough so you knew he could. "You think you can take it?" You whimpered in response, pussy clenching. "Shorts and panties off, baby girl. Leave the hoodie on." You stepped out of just your shorts. "No panties either? Naughty girl."

"Wanted it to be easy for you, Daddy." He groaned, pulling you in for a hard, sloppy kiss by your neck, his other hand reaching for your pussy.

"Good god, baby girl. You're already so wet for me, huh?"

"Always wet for you." He muffled his groan against your neck, biting and sucking a bruise into your skin as his fingers slid back and forth along your wet folds, avoiding your clit, a single finger just barely dipping into your cunt and making you whine with want.

Sliding his hand from your pussy to your hip, he tugged you down to straddle his thigh. His shorts rode up a little with your movement, so you were sitting against his bare thigh.

With a whimper, your hips started rocking, almost without your conscious decision to do so. "Yeah, baby? Does Daddy's thigh feel good on your soaked pussy?"

"Feels so good. Love feeling you on my pussy. Can't wait to have you in me, Daddy."

"You cum on my thigh like a good girl and I promise I'll fuck you so good, baby girl,” he said against the side of your neck. The hand that had been around your neck came down onto your other hip. His grip was firm as he helped keep you flush against his thigh while you rocked your hips. He flexed his thigh muscles, pressing up more firmly against your cunt, making you whimper and drop your head forward, your hands coming up to brace on his shoulder and chest.

From the corner of your eye, you watched him watch you. His eyes bounced from your slick covering his thigh, to your face, to as much of your cunt as he could see. You raised your head to look at him and saw him hesitate for just a second, before he said, voice husky with want, “Such a needy little slut, aren’t you?”

You moaned, back arching, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, and pussy clenching around nothing. He leaned in, capturing your lips in a fierce, possessive kiss.

You were a little surprised at how close to the edge you were getting, just riding his thigh. Despite the delicious friction against your clit on every motion, you’d been sure it would take more. But the quivering in your thighs and tightening in your belly assured you that you were wrong. You shifted your rocking motions as you got closer, swiveling your hips instead. That motion worked so much better and had you pulling away from Chan’s mouth, head tossed back with a moan as you came all over his thigh.

“You did so good baby girl,” Chan said, soothingly rubbing his hands up and down your thighs as you came down from your high.

“Yeah?”

“Mm. Made such a mess of my thigh too. Love watching you make a mess of me.”

“Oh really?”

He tugged your hand off his chest, bringing it down to press against his clothed erection. “Yeah, baby girl.”

“Oh God.” You wrapped your hand around him as well as you were able considering the clothes that were still in the way. Your mouth started to water at the prominent outline of his cock. “I need…. I need….”

“What do you need? Tell Daddy, whatever it is,” he squeezed your thigh reassuringly.

“Oh God. I need to taste you, need to suck your cock.” You scrambled back off his thigh, dropping quickly to your knees just in front of his legs. “Please, Daddy?”

He groaned, dropping forward to press his forehead to yours. “You’re a dream, baby girl,” he muttered, softly enough that you weren’t sure you were meant to hear it. He sat up and quickly pushed his shorts and boxers down his legs, kicking them off to the side somewhere.

The outline through his clothes didn’t do him justice, to your mind. His cock was gorgeous, long, and thicker than any you’d had before, with just the slightest curve. His tip was leaking precum and you couldn’t wait to taste it. You shuffled forward on your knees, making yourself comfortable between his thighs. You raised a hand, lightly scratching your nails down his inner thigh and watched his cock twitch at the action.

“Wait, baby,” he suddenly leaned back, almost laying flat on the bed. When he straighten back up, he held one of his pillows. “Here, lift up just a bit.”

You should have expected that, even in this, he would be looking out for you. Before anything else, Chan was your best friend. You situated yourself comfortably on the pillow then leaned forward and licked a thick strip up the underside of his cock, swirling your tongue around his head and gathering his precum on your tongue. You hummed, enjoying the taste of him on your tongue, before opening your mouth and sliding down on just the first inch or so.

You felt his fingers weave into your hair as you sank further onto his cock. You relaxed, breathing through your nose, until you sank down completely, your nose buried in his pubic hair. You held yourself down until you felt his hips kick up. Smiling internally, you lifted part way off his cock, keeping his tip in your mouth, before sinking down again. You set a comfortable pace, bobbing your head up and down, swirling your tongue around his tip.

Then Chan changed the angle on you by standing up. “Baby, can I...?” He trailed off, thrusting his hips slightly. In response, you relaxed back on your heels, held your mouth open, tongue out, and just looked up at him. “Oh God damn.” He used the grip he had on your hair to hold your head still as he steadily thrust into your waiting mouth.

His grip on your hair tightened as he sped up, pulling on the roots. You moaned around him, eyes rolling up with the combination of the pain of him pulling your hair and the pleasure of him using your mouth. “Look at you,” his voice was breathy and low as he spoke. “Such a pretty slut with my cock in your mouth.” You moaned, pussy clenching at the praise and saliva leaking onto your chin from around his cock.

You got lost in the pleasure of his cock on your tongue and the praise continuously falling from his lips in that breathy, low tone that you just knew you’d be addicted to by the end of the night. You felt his cock start to twitch in your mouth before he could warn you. When he sank completely into your mouth, you gripped his hips to hold him there and intentionally swallowed around his head a few times, until he was coming down your throat, head dropped forward and eyes locked on you.

He dragged you up off the floor with his hands under your arms and collapsed back onto the bed with you on top of him while he worked to catch his breath.

“God baby, I’m almost afraid to ask how you got so good at that.”

You smiled slightly. “I have no gag reflex,” you answered. “Nothing dramatic.”

He tugged his shirt off, successfully doing so without making you get off him, and used it to wipe the drool from your face before tossing it somewhere off the bed. He claimed your lips in a hungry kiss, one hand sliding down and between your legs. This time, he didn’t just tease – almost immediately he pushed two fingers into you, swallowing your moans.

You broke away from his lips, moaning against his neck as he hooked his fingers to rub against that spongy part of your walls that had you clenching around him.

“Yeah, baby? That feel good?” You whimpered, nodding against him. He added his thumb against your clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive bud. You writhed against him, bucking your hips against his leg where you laid. Then, just as you could feel your orgasm coming, he pulled his hand away.

His chuckle cut off in a moan when you whined, “Daddy, was so close.”

“I know baby girl. Come here, Daddy needs to taste you.” He manhandled you into position over his face. You were a little hesitant, having never had a boyfriend who’d wanted you to sit on his face before. “Sit, baby. I can take it.” When you still hesitated, he gripped your hips and pulled you down onto his mouth.

The moan you let out was something straight from a porno as he immediately thrust his tongue into you and started lapping at you like it was the only thing keeping him alive. His nose bumped against your clit with every motion of his mouth and tongue.

“Oh God,” you reached down, tangling your fingers in his hair as you felt your denied orgasm building back up. His hands smoothed over your hips and thighs, no longer holding you against him as you rutted against his mouth. He shifted slightly to wrap his lips around your clit and gently sucked it into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it until you arched back, pressing your cunt more firmly against his face and moaning his name as your orgasm rushed through you.

His responding moan vibrated against your pussy as he continued to lap at you through the aftershocks. “Good girl,” he praised, helping you slide off his face and onto the bed. “So good to me, letting me eat you out like that.” He leaned over you, claiming your lips and pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting you taste yourself.

Without breaking your kiss, he manhandled you until you were lying against his pillow. Then he broke away, trailing kisses down your jaw and neck, pausing to suck a bruise into the skin of your neck. He pulled back to look down at you for a second.

“Time to take this off, wanna see those pretty tits again.” Chan tugged his hoodie off of you, tossing it across the room. “God, look at you. Gorgeous.” He sat back on his heels, just admiring you for a moment, running his fingers over your thighs. You returned the favor, openly gaping at the well defined chest and abs you’d always been able to feel any time the pair of you hugged or cuddled together.

Then he was back on you, picking up his trail of kisses from the hickey he’d left on you. He continued kissing down over your chest, capturing one nipple between his lips, sucking the bud into his mouth while he pinched and rolled the other between his fingers. Then he switched sides. He had you moaning and writhing under him as he sucked a hickey into the side of your tit, then against your ribs, and another on your belly.

You tugged his hair, unable to take it anymore, moaning out when he looked up at you. “Please, need you to fuck me Daddy.”

“Okay, baby girl,” he grinned at you, that dimpled grin that was as familiar to you as your own face bringing on a gush of arousal as he hovered over you. After a swift kiss, he leaned over the edge of the bed, grabbing the pillow you’d been kneeling on. You lifted your hips for him to slide it under you.

He wrapped your legs over his hips and steadily slid into you, watching your face the whole time. Once fully inside you, Chan leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead. When he pulled back, he offered you a sweet smile. His thrusts started slow, like he was savoring the feeling of being inside you. Every time he bottomed out, you could swear you felt him in your stomach. You couldn’t take your eyes off his face, watching every expression.

He readjusted himself on his knees, gripped your hips tighter, pulled out and slammed back in, pulling a strangled moan from your throat. He smirked down at you, keeping this new, harder pace. You flailed for a few seconds until you grasped his forearms, nails digging in.

“That’s it, baby girl. Look at you, taking my cock so well. Wish you could see how well my cock splits open this pussy,” he spoke between thrusts, voice low and almost sounding like he was growling out the words. “God, you feel so good around me. Warm and wet and perfectly snug. Like you were made to take my cock.” He groaned, dropping his head forward for just a moment before suddenly pulling out.

“It’s okay, pretty baby,” Chan soothed when you whined as he pulled out of you. “Here, just need to flip you over.” He quickly had you in the position he wanted – face and shoulders pressed to the bed, ass up. He gripped your hips hard, sliding back into you. The new angle felt amazing and you clutched the sheets as he started thrusting into you.

“God, baby, wish you could see yourself. See the way you take my cock so good,” he groaned out between thrusts. You whined, pushing your hips back against him. He draped himself over your back, pressing open mouthed, sloppy kisses against your shoulder. Then one of his hands left your hip to wrap around the front of your neck.

Using the hold he now had on you, he lifted you up with him, so your back stayed against his chest. You brought one hand to grip his thigh but the other one slid down your own belly and then you felt it. You looked down, just to see that you were feeling what you knew you were. “Oh God,” you moaned, seeing the bulge of his cock every time he slammed into you. “Channie,” you whined.

“What is it baby?”

“Feel.” You pulled the hand that had been on your hip over to your belly, pressing his hand against the bulge in you.

He groaned, burying his face against your shoulder and tightening his hold around your neck. You felt more than heard him whine when you clenched tightly around his cock. You could still breath, but his grip was definitely tight enough for you to get that lovely light headed feeling.

“You gonna cum, pretty baby? I can feel you gripping me. You gonna be a good girl and cum on Daddy’s cock?” You nodded as well as you could, feeling the coil tightening in your belly. He squeezed your neck hard enough to cut off your air flow, just for a second. As soon as he relaxed his grip, you gushed around his cock, orgasm crashing through you.

You were pretty sure you blanked out for a few seconds because the next thing you knew, Chan’s hand was pressed against your chest, between your tits, to hold you up and he was muttering against your neck about how good you felt coming on his cock. His thrusts had also slowed noticeably.

“Mm, back with me baby girl?” You nodded. “Gonna need words.”

It was a struggle for a moment, getting your mouth to form the words you needed. “Yes,” you nodded again. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Oh baby, you are more than okay.” You could hear the teasing edge in his voice, chuckling a little. Now that he knew you were okay, his hips picked up again, driving his cock as deep into you as he could. The hand that had been on the bulge in your belly slid down your body until his fingers slid over your clit.

You moaned, tossing your head back against his shoulder, as he rubbed firm circles against the bundle of nerves. You hadn’t thought you had another orgasm in you, particularly this soon. But you were wrong. You could already feel it building up.

He suddenly pulled out and flipped you back onto your back, then slammed back into you. “Wanna see your face when I cum in you. See your face when I make a mess in this pretty pussy,” he said over the squelching noises your pussy made with every thrust.

“Gonna fill me up? Make me all nice and messy, Daddy?” Chan groaned, dropping his face forward against your neck, and biting down harshly where your neck and shoulder met. You arched, the orgasm that had been building very suddenly crashing over you.

He pulled away, surprise on his face that mirrored your own. He didn’t comment though, instead lifting one of your legs and pressing it back toward your chest as he chased his own orgasm. It only took a handful of thrusts more before he was stilling inside you and you felt his cock twitch in your cunt, filling you with his warmth.

He collapsed against you and you held him tightly for a moment, both of you panting, until he pulled out of you as gently as he could. Still, you whined with the loss of his body on yours as he flopped down next to you.

“Who’d have thought I liked being bitten that much?” you commented after you got your breath back.

Beside you, Chan chuckled. “You really didn’t know?”

“No one’s ever bitten me before. Like little love bites or hickeys, sure. But a bite like that? Nope.”

He rolled on his side, fingers lightly tracing over the spot he’d bitten. “I may have left a mark,” he admitted.

“I have a bite mark on my neck?” you giggled. “Goes with the other marks. Pretty sure I’ll have finger bruises on my hips.”

The pair of you were quiet for a bit while he traced his fingers over the mark on your neck, down your torso, over the red marks on your hips. You could practically feel him thinking and you weren’t sure at all that you were gonna like where his thoughts were going, but you didn’t say anything for fear you were wrong about what he was thinking. You waited, knowing he’d tell you.

“You were wrong,” he whispered after a while.

“’Bout what?” you asked, matching his tone.

“About not regretting it,” he spoke quickly, like trying to rip off the metaphorical bandage. “You will. You’ll say we should just be friends and then you’ll feel awkward about it and pull away from me. And I’ll lose you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have given in, I knew it. But I wanted – want – you so bad I –” You hated the sureness and sorrow in his tone.

“Why would I, Channie?” You interrupted, your tone soft but firm. “I’ve been in love with you for years. How could I possibly regret finally having you?”

“Ah!” You giggled as he propped himself up on his elbow to look down at you, the tears you’d heard in his voice, swimming in his eyes. “What?!”

“You heard me,” you smiled up at him, reaching up and cupping his cheek. “I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with you, but I know I am. I love you, Channie.”

He leaned in, quickly scattering kisses over your forehead, cheeks, and nose, making you giggle. Then he stilled, pressing 1 – 2 – 3 soft kisses to your lips. “I love you too,” he sighed happily, a few relieved tears slipping down his cheeks. He spent another minute brushing his fingers over your skin – from your neck, down between your breasts, over your belly and back up again. “Wait here,” he pressed a kiss to your temple and rolled out of bed.

He didn’t bother pulling his boxers or anything else back on as he headed toward the bathroom. You lay on his bed, appreciating the view as he walked out. You heard the shower turn on, then he was back. He scooped you out of the bed, one arm under your knees the other under your shoulders. “Channie! Put me down, I’m too heavy!”

“You are not,” he rolled his eyes fondly as he carried you into the bathroom. Together, the pair of you showered and you let Chan gently wash you then wrap a towel around you when you stepped out of the shower. Back in his room, he gently toweled you dry and sat you on his desk chair while he quickly changed his bed sheets. Then he silently stood in front of one of his open dresser drawers.

“What’s wrong?” You asked after a moment.

“You should have something to sleep in, because I don’t know how well I’ll be able to resist you naked in my bed. But, in my t-shirt in my bed presents the same issue.”

“I did bring my overnight bag, it’s in the living room. It has my pajamas in it.”

“No.”

Smirking to yourself, you stood up from where you’d moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “I could always grab something of Innie’s. Surely he wouldn’t –” you cut yourself off at the possessive, warning look he shot you. “Or not,” you said with a small smile. He narrowed his eyes at you until you sat back down.

After a minute, he walked back out to the living room, coming in with your pajama shorts in one hand and the bag in the other. He dropped your bag beside his dresser, snagged one of his black tank tops, and tossed the two articles of clothes at you. You pulled on your clothes while he pulled on just a pair of boxers. Once he pulled on his clothes, he grabbed the snacks and drinks you’d brought in and piled them on his bedside table. Without a word, he pulled up some movie the pair of you had seen a bunch of times on Netflix, reclined against his headboard, and tugged you to lay back against his chest, between his legs.

“Here, baby. Drink this,” he opened and held out one of the fruit juices to you. Then, when you handed it back, he started steadily feeding you snacks.

It’s not like it was much, just fruit juice and pretzels, but after showering you – God. It was so sweet, so caring of him that you felt tears gathering.

“Baby, are you okay?” You were, truly, but you couldn’t find words to reassure him and tell him why you were crying all of a sudden. You could only nod. Apparently, he understood anyway. “You’re an independent woman, I know. But sometimes, it’s nice to let someone else take care of you.” He used as close to your own phrasing from that sleep deprived day as he could. He pressed a kiss to your temple. “That’s what Daddy’s here for, sweet girl.”

[deepestdelulu]

How to be confident part 2

Be proud of your achievements.

No more people pleasing. Something I had to learn is that you don't have to be everyone's darling.

Get out of your comfort zone. Get a coffee and chat with the barista, go to a concert alone, try a new hobby and so on :)

Talk politely and expand your vocabulary. Reading and writing can help a lot!

Start journaling. Vent when you need to, it doesn't have to be pretty or aesthetic; clean your mind.

Watch your body language. Stand up straight, don't slouch, walk with purpose, and don't hide your hands.

Don't be afraid to ask questions.

Stop chasing people. The ones meant to stay in your life will remain with you. Sometimes we need to distance ourselves from people so we can grow! :)

Moisturized. I get nervous when my lips and hands are dry!

Keep your standards high. This applies to friendships, dating, grades, pretty much anything. Self-respect!!

Don't let people interrupt you!!

Start each day with a positive mindset. Get up in the morning with purpose and try to make the best out of any day. <3

Be on time. Coming late to something important is always a bit awkward.

Use fewer filler words when speaking. Uhm, just, like, I think, etc. Don't be afraid to slow down and think about what you want to say. Take your time!

Don't chase anyone's validation. Instead, do things for yourself and make yourself proud.

Unfollow people on social media that make you feel bad about yourself.

Be kind. I see people on TikTok all the time being rude and mean to appear confident. Let's be honest, they look quite silly, lol.

Have a signature scent! I like something that gives me comfort and helps me stay calm. My fav is vanilla. <3

Don't look at your phone when entering a room or going somewhere. Instead, try being as present as possible, or at least look like you are, lol.

Take care of your appearance. Whatever feels good to you, maybe get a lash lift, find makeup that works for you, clean nails, wear something you like...

Don't tell everyone your insecurities. Putting yourself down is not a good conversation topic.

Make time for yourself. Relax, recharge and focus on yourself. <3

Confidence is a huge deal, so if you have any questions feel free to ask them in the comments or my 'ask me anything'. I will also make a post soon on how to improve your public speaking! <3

I also plan on going through my asks Tomorrow (Sunday), so if you have anything you would like to share or need advice on, just submit it to the link above (the ask on, haha) <33

[quietdeparturesarchive]

Tips On How To Get Your Life Together

make a list of your top priorities: Figure out what actually matters to you right now. This isn’t about what you should care about, but what truly takes up your energy—school, your health, building confidence, relationships, etc. Keep the list short (3–5 things max) so you can focus. ‎

create a morning and night routine: Routines give your brain structure. You don’t need a 10-step ritual—just something consistent. Morning = stretch, drink water, check your planner. Night = wash your face, no phone 30 mins before bed, quick journal. That alone is enough. ‎

check in with yourself and journal frequently: Journaling doesn’t mean writing novels. Just note how you feel, what’s bothering you, what went well, or what’s on your mind. Use prompts if you’re stuck. The point is to stay connected to yourself instead of spiraling in your head. ‎

start saving money: Even a small amount every week matters. Start tracking what you spend. Make a savings goal (emergency fund, a trip, new laptop). Try a rule like “save 10% of what I get” or “no impulse purchases until Sunday.” ‎

learn something new every day: It doesn’t have to be academic. Listen to a podcast, read one article, Google something random. Write down one interesting thing you learned to help you remember it—and to remind yourself that you’re growing. ‎

spend time with the people you love: Text them. Call them. Make plans, even if you’re busy. Shared time matters. It’s easy to get caught up in fixing yourself and forget that love and connection are part of being okay. ‎

keep track of your sleep, hydration, nutrition: Start observing how your body feels. Are you getting 7–8 hours of sleep? Drinking enough water (2L/day)? Eating regularly? You don’t have to go full fitness-tracker, but noticing patterns can help you feel way more in control. ‎

list down your stress triggers: What causes you anxiety, procrastination, or overwhelm? Write them down. Knowing your triggers helps you build systems around them. If social events drain you, plan alone time after. If deadlines stress you, start earlier. ‎

clean your room: Your environment reflects your mental state. Tidy up the space where you spend the most time. It doesn’t need to be perfect—just put things back in place, wipe down surfaces, and open a window. It shifts your mindset. ‎

practice gratitude and/or meditate: You don’t have to be spiritual. Just note what’s good. Try writing 3 small things you’re grateful for, or sitting quietly for 5 minutes. It helps your mind slow down and notice what’s okay, even on rough days. ‎

set boundaries: Say no when you need to. Don’t reply right away if you’re drained. Make rules for yourself about how much you give to others. Boundaries protect your energy—they’re not selfish, they’re necessary. ‎

declutter your phone, laptop, etc: Digital mess counts. Delete apps you don’t use, clear out your camera roll and downloads, organize folders. It helps reduce mental clutter and makes everything feel more intentional. ‎

plan 1 self care act every day: Something small, just for you. A walk, skincare, journaling, no-screen time, reading. Doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive—just consistent and kind to yourself.

xoxo, sally

pic1 | pic2 | pic3

[depresssant]

Shades Of Cool

NEGLECTFUL!PLATONIC!YAN!batfam x GN!reader - part l, part ll

synopsis : growing up with a shit mom and constant step-dads and mom's boyfriends, your view on life has grown pretty bleak. you just want to die, since it doesn't seem to get better than this. things can't get any worse, can they?

so reader is very flawed ppl. i’m trying to make this as gn as possible for pls bear with me. asks and requests r open. reblogs are also much appreciated. now that i’ve gotten my e-begging out of the way, enjoy this pathetic excuse of a story

warnings : child abuse, past sexual abuse, yandere, etc

you want to die.

you always do.

staring at the wanna be thug pointing a gun at you, you sigh and roll your eyes in exasperation. perhaps pissing him off will the best way to get him to curl a finger around the trigger. or judging by his temperament, you won't have to do much.

"you? i should give my money to you?"

"who the fuck do you think you are, bitch?" the thug screams at you angrily. his grip gets tighter and clammier. he's not experienced with this. he's probably ganged up with a bunch of thugs to pull shit like this. it wouldn't take much to disarm him. "give me the fucking money before i blow your head off!"

"to a junkie like you?" you are a junkie, too, so you're not too sure about making fun of him for that. "i don't give money to hobos."

that is wrong, too. but you want to piss him off.

"that's it, you stupid bitch!" the thug's stances becomes defensive. his hateful glare is pointed at you while he musters the courage to actually press the trigger. he doesn't look like he'll do it. you've seen countless like him roaming the streets, holding you at gunpoint. he probably won't do it. then again, this is gotham. you don't expect much. either he'll shoot you dead, forcibly take your stuff, flee the scene out of fear, or be dismantled by one of the city's vigilantes. perhaps he'd shoo—

"stop right there!"

damn it.

you think too soon.

a young robin is quick to have the wanna be thug tied up and beat down. you would've questioned why a kid who seemingly looked twelve can do such a thing, but you've learned to not question most things in your life. you merely sigh in disappoint and pick up your dropped backpack before beginning the journey to hell.

"excuse me? wait! where are you headed?"

gosh, his boy-ish voice grates your nerves. makes you clench your teeth. your gaze narrows, but you know better than to react. reaction gains a reaction—one that will never be in your favor. it'll lead to a fight—one that will never be in your favor. you'll end up broken, bleeding, and bruised. now that isn't something in your favor. now you're thinking of favor too much. forcing a smile, you turn around to face the pre-teen vigilante. "yes?"

"are you alright?" he asks with practiced concern. he doesn't actually care. it's probably just protocol.

"a-okay!" the words are hollow. they lack depth. like you. "thank you for your help. i don't know what would've happened to me if you weren't there."

you do know. you wish you wouldn't.

"you're welcome," robin replies with polished words like he's not exactly convinced. "would you like for me to walk you? the city hasn't been safe for some time now."

"when is it ever safe? but that's okay. i live just around the corner, so i think i'll be fine."

"are you sure—"

"completely."

please. why won't he just leave you alone? there goes your plan spoiled by him again. every time you've been in an attempted robbing, he's been there to destroy your chances of getting shot. of escaping. he always does this. this is a repeated cycle between the two of you. he's a flying bird until you shoot him down. your name clearly wants to escape from his lips, but robin nods his head in understanding.

"this seems to happen to you all the time. my wish is for you to be safe."

"this is gotham." the grip on the straps on your backpack tighten. "everyone's gotta go through this. anyways, i gotta go, you know. thanks for savin' me."

"of course."

you don't spare him a single glance. the sky is wrapped up in black clouds heavy with the burden of rain. icy cold wind sings a melancholy tune through the stiff air. the door to your apartment looks like the gates of hell. it's all futile. no matter how many sighs you sigh, how many wishes you wish, and how many curses you curse, you'll still land up in the same fate. without escape.

that is the summary of your life.

taking a few seconds to prepare yourself for the incoming session, you open the door to be met with radio silence. silence is never good. half the time, it means something is brewing for you, and they're taking their sweet time to scare you into thinking nothing will happen. sometimes. not all the time. the other time, it just means he need to rise from his pile of misery first.

the hand of your mother's boyfriend is instantly wrapped around your neck before you can even register why the hell the apartment looks like a tornado hit it. he squeezes so tightly you feel like blood is gushing out of your ears with how loudly they ring. white spots dot along your blurry sight as you struggle to breathe. you can hear a frantic voice telling him to let you go, but you're pushed up more against the wall. this is the norm. doesn't mean it hurts any less. he'll let you go, give you some time to regain your breath, and then rain down bullets upon you.

that's exactly what happens.

your hand goes straight to your neck as your raspy and shaky coughs wreck your chest. he squeezes hard enough for it to hurt but it not show. and then the kicks and punches come. with how much your chest and ribs are struck, you're a bit surprised at how you haven't broken a bone yet. your potential step-father screams at you, but you can barely hear it over the repetition of words in your head. he grabs your bloody face and shout something incoherent before letting you go to kick you.

leaving you in your own pile of misery.

it's normal. yes, it's completely normal. you're used to this. it'll get better. it always does. but you've got the crushing idea it never will.

gotham heights high school—the school you're forced to attend.

the class division is insane to look at, because it's there even from a short and near prospective. how the richest kids got put in a school with the poorest—you'll never know. the only thing you do know is that every one of these kids are pieces of shit. even the ones that pretend to be nice.

tim drake—or shall you say tim wayne—is no different.

even as he helps up the girl who just got roughly pushed to the floor, causing all her textbooks to scatter, you can only eye him with disdain. if he really cares, then he would've beat the shit out of those athletes. but he doesn't. they're all the same—privileged and all. sympathy shouldn't be given to them. not to drake or the wealthy yet somehow bullied girl.

"but y'know what i heard?" your friend drags your attention back to him. zarian leans against a locker lazily, but excitement practically buzzes off of him. "the bruce wayne is coming to our track meet today!"

your other friend, jaylene, rolls her eyes as she applies her eyeliner using the mirror hanging up on the inside door of her locker. she speaks exactly what you're thinking. "only because his beloved son is gonna be there."

"well, still. think about the connections we can make! all the famous people that'll be there."

"keep dreaming. asshat. i put all my money on the attention being on rich the kid. i don't even know why he joined track. varsity, at that, too. there has to be some sort of bribery going on."

an incoming argument is clearly brewing up, so you take in a deep breath to say something, but a new voice beats you to it.

"excuse me?"

you and your two friends turn to face the guy standing in front of you. charismatic, intelligent,  and optimistic—he's an enigma that shines on everyone. tim drake. his black, messy yet somehow in place hair does no justice for his good looks. he's the complete package. rich, good looking, tall, and empathetic. the mere sight of him annoys you.

zarian is the first to speak up. he quirks a brow and offers tim a grin. "what's up, man?"

"you're leaning against my locker." tim rubs the back of his neck. he smiles awkwardly in the presence of the three of you, and it takes your friend a beat to understand what he's saying before moving away.

"oh yeah. my fault," he says as he moved to stand next to you.

the school's very own bruce wayne only shakes his head and tells him it's okay while opening his locker and grabbing a few things. people flock around, waiting for him to be done with whatever the hell he's doing, so they can be back to his side like leeches sucking on blood. he surely can't be this dumb, no? these people don't want to be his friend...

well, it's not as if it's your problem. you wish it is. you and your friends turn to make way to first period, but drake clearly has other plans. he sandwiches himself between you and zarian with a grin of his own plastered on an unblemished face. one carefree of any worry or pain. "so," tim begins. "first track meet of the year, huh? aren't you guys nervous?"

jaylene merely hums in amusement and shrugs. "it gets better. when you've spent four years in track—in front of all those judging people—it wears off. hopefully, you'll get used to it soon."

that is jab, though, rich the kid doesn't seem to catch on. he laughs casually, but even you can sense the anxiety like it was radioactive. ""i hope so. i've sprinted so much i feel like i'll get shin splits again."

you zone out while he has a conversation with your friends. as if drake has ever had experience with track. it took you all of freshman year to just prove that you can actually be a part of the track team, and here tim drake is, parading around about getting on varsity without a single grain of hard work. he's a naturally talented person. good at everything. that's what makes you hate him so much. people like him get everything handed to them just because they're good at it first hand and leave behind people that actually work for it. you want to tell him to buzz off—that he can't talk about how much he's practiced and how nervous he is, but you keep your mouth shut. that is, until he directly addresses you.

tim's eyes narrow at you with comedic suspicion. "you know, you look like someone i know. a lot. the resemblance is crazy."

"eight billion people out there. you never know." your tone is flat, stoic, lacking any bit of emotion.

"gosh, you even sound like him! that's really terrifying."

"well, whoever, it is, i hope i never meet him," you murmur.

your two friends leave for their classes soon, and you and drake find your seats at the back of high school economics. exhaustingly so, you sit together in one of the many desk pairs, and drake uses this opportunity to annoy you any chance he gets. you give off the vibe that you don't want to talk to him. he doesn't get the hint. you don't tell him, though. maybe that's the problems. his shit-eating grin ticks you off when you look in his direction. "what?"

"let's be friends!"

"no."

"what? come on! don't be so cold!" he whines like a petulant child being told no.

"no."

"too bad! you're my friend now."

"tim," you sigh. it's wrong to scream. it's bad to scream. screaming leads to fights. fights lead to you laying in a pool of your own blood. laying in blood leads to missing practice. missing practice leads to less skill. less skill leads to less of a chance of getting the hell out of here. just smile. forgive and forget. know your persona. know who you are. kind. happy. funny. "fine." so you smile with gritted teeth. you smile like you played a cruel joke on him. "we can be friends... i guess."

his face brightens at your fake words like he is just given the the world.

tim drake wiggles his eyebrows playfully and nudges you with his elbow. "you know, i've been trying to get you to say that since school started?"

"really now?"

"really. i'm glad we're going to be friends. oh! should we go out to eat with zarian and jaylene after the meet?"

... there's a chance your mom's boyfriend will get pissed off. he'll probably beat the shit out of you since the track meet would have happened, and you wouldn't need to have an unblemished body for meets. he'd scream, yell, and punch... like his life depended on it... fuck it.

"yeah," you reply shortly after with a firm nod of your head. "we can go to this diner near the theater. i'm sure you'll love the food."

this doesn't mean you hate him any less. he's still rich scum⏤how you're poor scum. he's stuck up, pretentious, and sickeningly sweet. exactly what you hate. you just hope you can have a good time after the track meet. the mischievous glint in his eyes told you otherwise.

"and this is my dad, bruce wayne."

what the hell are you doing?

the sun is setting along the horizon, the air is getting cooler again, and you want to sink into the floor. the plan was to head straight to the diner after this, but rich the kid somehow roped you into meeting his dad?

nausea pools in your stomach from both hunger and the feeling of thousands of eyes staring at you. cameras are flashing at gotham's billionaire as he smiles and firmly shakes your hand. confidence drips off of him disgustingly. his high-tailored suit radiates wealth and money. his stoic demeanor gives off an aura of mystery. you want to lay on a railroad track with an incoming train speeding along the way.

"it's nice to meet you. tim has ranted about his track teammates quite a lot."

there's an eleven year old standing next to him. his eyes are on you like that of an owl's but you neither glance at him or bother to acknowledge him. you just want to eat some food before meeting your doom at that apartment for not placing first like your mom's boyfriend wanted you to. like a goat getting stuffed before slaughter. it always leads down to that. no matter how many times you try to wish it was different. no matter how many times you imagine it to be different. no matter how many times you try to make it different.

"nice to meet you too." you shake his hand as well with a polite smile on your face. polite. calm. gentle. proper. "and yeah, he seems very eager to be on the team."

"of course, of course. well, it is getting late. why don't you come over for dinner some time?"

"maybe tonight?" tim suddenly adds in. at your hesitant expression, he groans in exasperation. "who do you think we are? blood-sucking bats? come on, we can go to the diner some other time!"

you have just met him... you've just accepted being his friend... you aren't the most social person. you've never had much friends, but even you can understand that dinner with the family doesn't happen until the friend and person have come close in a long period of time. jaylene and zarian have other matters to tend to, so it's going to be just you and tim at a diner. not⏤

ding!

your phone's notification's alarm chimes, and when you check who has sent you a message, you feel like getting on the ground to pray to whatever deity for letting you have a moment of peace.

mom: ⏤he's heavily drunk. don't come home.

a part of you is hit with a strong current full of guilt. this is your mother. you're supposed to be there for her through thick and thin. you're supposed to protect her and be her wall of defense against monsters like him. family look out for each other. you have to take care of her... but she doesn't take care of you. this makes you a terrible person. you know that. she'll probably get beaten to an inch of her life and hide her heavy bruises under makeup that was terribly done in a rush. and then, she'll throw whatever object is in sight at you in a fury of anger.

telling you she made too many sacrifices for you. telling you that you're ruined her life. telling you that she should've aborted you like your father had told her to. telling you exactly what you believe yourself. a curse that should've never been born... she'll be beaten within an inch of her life. but you have already lost yours.

after pretending to text her and sliding your phone into the pocket of your sweatpants, you nod with a sigh of joking resignation. "sure. i asked my mom, and she said it's okay."

"wonderful." mr. wayne nods and gestures to the limo you can see in the parking lot. a bit of overkill, perhaps.

honestly, you're still surprised that gotham's billionaire is inviting you to dinner. this man is the topic of magazines, and you're about to take a ride in his limo. how the hell have you ended up in a situation like this? fate is still fucking with you, isn't it?

you find yourself seated next to tim while mr. wayne and his youngest son, damian, sit on the seats to your right. they're talking about something, but once again, you find yourself half listening and zoning out, staring at nothing until mr. wayne's questions pulls you back to reality.

"so how has school been faring for you?" mr. wayne asks in a cool and collected tone.

you laugh lightly and smile as politely as ever. "pretty good. i hope to leave gotham after graduation to study somewhere else."

"who would want to stay in gotham?" tim rolled his eyes, rolling the first place medal between his fingers. "by the way, remember when i said you looked like someone i know? i was talking about my dad?"

your brows rise in both exasperation and annoyance at his claims. now he's just plain, out right trying to make fun of you in front of a billionaire. your shoulders tense, ready to refute his claims, but mr. wayne surprisingly chuckles and rubs his chin while taking a good look at your face. "well, i can see it, but there's eight billion people out there in the world. i'm bound to look like someone. though, i didn't expect for it to be someone as talented as [name] here."

you force a quiet laugh along at the sound of his tone. foreboding. you know tones like this. like he's hiding something that they all know except for you. it means you've made a mistake in even giving in to tim drake's constant begging. why the hell was he so eager to have you become his friend? why is he so eager to maintain a friendship with you? why the hell has mr. wayne invited you to dinner when he's rumored to be mysterious, secretive, and a literal brick wall that nobody can get past?

"you've achieved so much for a child your age." mr. wayne sets his gaze dead on you. "your father must be so proud."

and his eyes glimmer with that same shine you saw in tim's.

ewwww

this was not proofread so forgive me and uh, i will be turning this into a series

um also making a tag list if anyone wants to be a part of it

[abbyshands]

THE LAST OF US, and the israeli themes surrounding it

i'm very glad that people were able to see one of the previous things i published, where i complied a series of links that you can use to learn more of what's going on in gaza, how you can help, places you need to boycott, etc. however, at the end of the post, there is a large part of it that is DIRECTLY meant for people who play or watch the last of us, or play the last of us 2.

the last of us 2 in specific is not at all elusive in displaying the chilling themes we are seeing before us today. what boggles my mind, is that a select few individuals are choosing to keep publishing fics, reblogging them, uploading content that has NOTHING to do with what's going on, etc. also, you can't reblog one thing about palestine and claim that you care, then flood your account or people's home pages in fanfiction, especially during a media blackout. it just doesn't work like that.

i took the time to make a post discussing all of the israeli/palestinian themes that the games as a whole, but mainly the second one, display. if you are my mutual, a friend, a fan of my work, or a fan of the game or show, then i 100% demand you read this. if you can read fics for hours, you can spend time to read a post discussing the universe those very fics came from.

a lot of us are now aware of the last of us's nature in regards to the ongoing genocide, but not many people know the specifics of it. after seeing this post last night (the person who made this, you are an angel), i decided to take the time to dive into the specifics of the last of us 2's israeli nature, on a logical level, but also a moral level, using a list of sources to help me along, which will be linked at the end of this post. i will link the sources along the way so you know which sources i got my information from.

regardless of if this changes anyone's mind about ignoring the media blackout, or not giving a fuck about what's going on period, know this: regardless of how you feel, regardless of what you believe, from the river to the see, palestine will be free. at this fucking point, the people who are on the right side will keep speaking out and spreading awareness, regardless if you are here to do it with us. that's it. now, let's get into this.

UPCOMING DISCUSSIONS: neil druckmann, the last of us 1, the last of us 2, the last of us show and zionism in the show's cast, boycotting the game and show, and conclusion

NEIL DRUCKMANN

45-year-old neil druckmann, who was the co-director and co-writer for the last of us 2, was born in tel aviv, israel in 1978. according to the above source, druckmann was raised in a settlement in the west bank, where he was surrounded by violence on a daily basis. comics, movies, and most of all, video games, became an escape for him as a child, before he and his family moved to miami, floridawhen he was 10 years old.

to water down the full story that you can, again, read here, druckmann went to college to major in criminology. however, when he was in college, druckmann took a compsci course, that later lead to his major becoming coding as opposed to criminology. soon after, he knew he wanted a career that related to one thing: video games.

in the summer of 2013, the last of us part 1 was released, and it was renowned as one of best video games to have ever been made. in 2020, druckmann and nd released the last of us part 2, followed by the 2022 release of HBO's show based on the first video game. druckmann played a huge part on set, being not only the co-creator and co-writer of the show, but also having directed an episode himself. druckmann will remain involved in the second season of the show.

bringing up neil druckmann’s background is a crucial aspect of what’s upcoming in this post, hence why i wanted to discuss it at all. druckmann growing up in israel is one of the sole reasons the last of us was ever made at all, and not only that: it is the reason why the second game is the way it is, because neil druckmann planted his israeli ideologies right into it.

so, let’s speak on it.

THE LAST OF US 1

on the official the last of us podcast, neil druckmann himself discussed the last of us' link to the israeli-palestinian conflict, and now, genocide. the general consensus was that people will go ridiculously far for the people that they love. this idea of druckmann's was revealed when he discussed the first time the main character of the first game, joel miller, kills somebody to keep his daughter, sarah, safe from harm. this is one of the first scenes in the game prior to the time jump, where the pair's neighbor becomes infected, and attacks them. joel uses a gun to kill him so that the neighbor doesn't harm sarah.

the following is a quote i would like to copy from this link word for word: "Druckmann said he follows "a lot of Israeli politics" and compared the incident to Israel's release of hundreds of Palestinians prisoners in exchange for the captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in 2011."

the plot of the first game, as neil druckmann explained, is based around a moral dilemma. he discusses how if joel had to kill a man to save a random kid, would he have done it? druckmann himself says, "but when it was his tribe, his daughter, there was no question about what he was going to do."

while the first game, in my opinion, isn't as heavily centered around israeli themes as the second game is, regardless, it is heavily crucial to note that the basis of the first game derived from a real-life incident involving israel and palestine, where hundreds of palestinian people (edit: i believe it is more than 1,000) were released from imprisonment, all in exchange for one israeli soldier. in the second game, the israeli-palestinian themes, if you look closely enough, scream out at you.

let's talk about it.

THE LAST OF US 2

"There is a common saying that if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves. Playing The Last of Us Part II is like being made to dig those graves with your teeth (Zacny)."

nd's 2022 the last of us part II is described down to the last letter in the above quote, albeit the game's utterly obvious israeli nature. in this post, the creator, rob zacny, goes on to discuss the game's theme of a "cycle of violence," and how the game reminds you in each grotesque encounter of the cruel ideology behind that. due to what occurs in the last of us 1, joel, basically, reaps what he sows when he is murdered for killing a surgeon who, along with the group said surgeon was a member of, the fireflies, was planning to perform surgery on ellie, who joel had since grown close to, in search of a cure for the infection that has plagued their world for decades. four years later, the second playable character in the game, who is introduced in the first half hour or so, abby anderson, kills joel to avenge the surgeon who was murdered, who happened to be her father. from then on, the game follows what, again, can only be described as a "cycle of violence." joel kills abby's dad, abby kills joel, ellie kills all of abby's friends, aims to kill abby in the final battle of the game, but spares abby when ellie's conscious morally attacks her for her decisions.

throughout the 24 odd hour gameplay, the player is allowed to play as ellie and abby, abby's parts of the game being arguably longer than ellie's. the idea this, i believe, is meant to introduce, is one of perspective: the player is meant to be loyal to joel miller once the first game has been finished, so when he is killed, they are inclined to make abby pay for it. however, abby's perspective, both in the past and as the present course of the game goes on, is meant to make the player understand why she did what she did. thus, the moral: there are no good guys in this game. every person is as equally bad as the following, and no one is innocent. however, when we consider the israeli-palestinian nature of this ideology and how it is presented in the last of us part 2, it simply doesn't work like this.

“I suspect that some players, if they consciously clock the parallels at all, will think The Last of Us Part II is taking a balanced and fair perspective on that conflict, humanizing and exposing flaws in both sides of its in-game analogues. But as someone who grew up in Israel, I recognized a familiar, firmly Israeli way of seeing and explaining the conflict which tries to appear evenhanded and even enlightened, but in practice marginalizes Palestinian experience in a manner that perpetuates a horrific status quo (Maiberg).”

when discussing the last of us part 2’s plot, one could 100% argue that there really aren’t good guys on the dual sides of the game. if you compare ellie and abby, you know that ellie went on a murder frenzy to get revenge on abby for killing joel. on abby’s side of it all, you know that abby wasn’t all that great before coming across lev and yara, and even then, she killed people to do what everyone in said world aims to do: survive. prior to finding lev and yara, abby had killed numerous people before, and did, as the player sees, handle joel very cruelly before she ended up killing him. here’s one more example, one that’s more random (but it’s simply to compare abby vs. ellie’s people, if you will): joel and manny. joel went on a cross country murder spree to keep ellie safe, and killed a building full of people at the end of the game to save her life. in regards to manny, if you recall a discussion that manny and mel had in the beginning of abby’s parts of the game, the pair are discussing a happening where a group aside from the wlf, the seraphites (which we will discuss later) attacked them because the wlf killed children who were a part of their (the seraphite’s) group. manny voiced how he would prefer to keep their people (the wlf) safe, and challenges mel, implying that those “kids” weren’t really kids, because they were the ones who attacked their guys (the wlf) in the first place. as a general consensus, manny kills several people throughout the course of the game, which can be inferred or seen by the player, making him, for the sake of what i’m getting at, a bad guy.

we see in the game how ellie and abby’s people are unanimously bad. the last of us is set in a world where laws and morals are thrown out the window for the sake of survival, so this is no surprise. however, this dual perspective, “no bad guy,” ideology simply doesn’t apply in the world today. you may compare ellie vs. abby, or joel vs. manny, or bring in more characters in the game, such as tommy, nora, etc, claiming that all parties are bad. that makes perfect sense. but think about it like this: if this is meant to represent the israeli-palestinian perspective, and i give you the scenario of a five-year-old child versus a full-grown IDF soldier, what would you say? isn’t there an obvious answer as to who is in the wrong and who’s not? maiberg is 100% right in claiming that the game marginalizes the real-life palestinian experience. abby, ellie, joel, manny, etc, are not real people. but the thousands of innocent children who have been killed for the ridiculousness and inhumane israeli regime are. you can’t say each side is equal in awfulness, not when one side is full of innocent men, women, and children, some of which could never make it into a year of their lives. not when if one side pauses their battle, there would be a ceasefire, but if the converse pauses their battle, they would all be dead.

“And then they cheered afterward,” Druckmann, who grew up in Israel, recalls. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me. … In my mind, I thought, ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’"

remember how i said discussing neil druckmann's background was crucial? it is. druckmann, who, again, was born in israel, told the Washington Post that the game's cynical themes of revenge and suffering is linked to the 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (tw, lynching), who were killed by a mob (maiberg). allegedly, some of the incident was remembered in film, that druckmann watched, and in his interview, he explained his angry nature that came about in response to the video, and how he desired vengeance.

the last of us part 2 is mainly set in seattle, washington, where secondary main character, abby anderson, resides in with a militia group named the wlf (which we will also delve into later, alongside the seraphites). maiberg brings out how seattle, on a visual and mechanical level, is based around "a series of checkpoints, security walls, and barriers (Maiberg)." he notes: "[seattle] looks almost exactly like the tall, precast concrete barriers and watch towers Israel started building through the West Bank in 2000." here are side by side images for comparison:

now that we’ve discussed this, let us discuss one of most prevalent aspects of abby’s part of the story: the wlf, and the seraphites. the seraphites are a religious group, nicknamed “the scars” due to the scars the members of said group carve into their faces to display their membership, who the wlf, a makeshift militia group, runs into conflict with following the fall of FEDRA, the country’s former military. in a note in the game, a fedra commander explains that the city of seattle has been lost to the wolves (the wlf), who he names as terrorists. maiberg brings out the following: “Here, there are parallels to early Zionist organisations that fought British rule in the region. These organizations were also described as terrorists, and leaders of those organizations later became leaders in Israel, much like how Isaac, the leader of the Wolves, came to control Seattle. Other in-game notes, scenes of urban ambushes, and the bodies of executed FEDRA officers laboriously walk the player through the cliche "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter (Maiberg).”

maiberg also discusses a series of manners in which the fictional seraphites resemble real-life palestinians. here are the three ways he specifically discusses in his original post, but there are much more:

“The same note from the Seattle FEDRA commander that bitterly says the Wolves are in charge explains that it's now their responsibility to not only feed and shelter the people of Seattle, but deal with the "religious fanatics," referring to the Scars.

Later in the game, Ellie finds a location called "Martyr Gate," where the Scars' spiritual leader apparently died, indicating a religious significance of a specific and disputed location, and emphasizing the notion of martyrdom as central to their culture.

The Scars are able to get around Wolf patrols and various barriers around the city via an elaborate, secret system of bridges between skyscrapers. These function as a kind of flipped version of the underground tunnels Palestinians use to bypass Israeli blockades and other means of limiting free movement in order to get supplies and carry out attacks on Israel.”

one more post i would like to link is this one, the very reason i decided to make this in the first place. it captures the zionism in the last of us 2, along with the wlf vs. seraphite conflict, perfectly. i very much recommend you read it, as it explains it much better than i can.

the general consensus is this: the idea that the seraphites are equally as bad as the wlf, which implies that palestinians are equally as bad as israelis, simply doesn’t apply in 2024. as i said before: what is so vile and cruel about a newborn baby? a pregnant woman? an innocent man? NOTHING. part of the reason the last of us captures this so poorly is due to the apocalyptic nature of the world the game is set in. obviously, people would go rogue if their lives were put in peril by not only animalistic infected beings, but also humans. however, we live in a real world where laws and morals do, in fact, apply. this isn’t a video game where those are simply discarded. what the wlf and the seraphites did to each other in the last of us 2 could be any other day for them: but what israel is doing to palestine right now is a war crime, a genocide, and plainly vile.

THE LAST OF US SHOW, and zionism in the show’s cast

i don’t think i need to spend a lot of time here, because if you have made it this far, you are well aware of the real nature of the last of us and the last of us 2 already, so you must understand that the show is HBO’s take on the game’s story (which, need i remind you show-wise and game-wise, neil druckmann played a huge part in). i simply bring it up so that people are aware of the fact that the 2022 show is ALSO linked to the ongoing genocide, and the cast is a major part of that (however, if anyone would like me to delve deeper into the show, let me know, and i 100% will).

for the following season which is a sequel to the last, theorized to center around the happenings of the last of us 2, members who are set to play a few crucial characters in the game have been announced. this includes isabela merced, who will play dina woodward, ellie’s romantic partner for most of the game, alongside kaitlyn dever, who will play abby anderson.

many people freaked out when they realized kaitlyn dever will be playing abby, but not for the reason they should have been. if you are a last of us fan, you are well aware that abby’s muscles are a central aspect of her persona. yet, kaitlyn dever is on the skinnier side, and according to some, does not resemble abby.

but this is not the issue that is most crucial to discuss.

kaitlyn dever is a zionist, and so is isabela merced (i am under the impression that both of these claims are true, but i had trouble finding a source i deemed reliable enough to link here. if i do, however, i will). now, while i’m not here to riddle you with conspiracy theories, people believe this (zionism) is the reason kaitlyn dever in specific got the role of abby anderson (there is a separate actress, shannon berry, who more closely resembles abby, but made a post in solidarity with palestine. this is theorized to be the reason why she didn’t get the part, and why kaitlyn dever was announced shortly after this particular actress made said post). let us not also forget that ellie’s actor, bella ramsey, is also in support of israel, which can be seen here.

(edit: i was informed since making this that bella has a story on one of their social medias, showing their alleged support of palestine and calling for a ceasefire. i’m going to link this post where i spoke on it, so you aware of what i think on that front).

all of the previously provided information brings me to my final part of this post: boycotting the games, and boycotting the show.

BOYCOTTING THE GAME AND SHOW

i could go on and on about why this is so crucial, but we would be here forever. however, i’m going to paste in what i wrote in this post surrounding the topic of boycotting, as i personally believe i got it down quite well in regards to the last of us (the show and game). it reads:

"DO NOT BUY TLOU, TLOU REMASTERED, TLOU2, TLOU2 REMASTERED, OR ANY GAME FROM ND! neil druckmann has donated money to the IDF in the past. & where do you think he’s getting his money from? yeah, you got that. watch gameplays, pirate these games, or buy them secondhand. several shops sell used games. & for those of you who went and purchased the game anyway, knowing about all of this? fuck you.

if you think your $10 doesn’t matter, then think about this: okay, one person spends $10 on the game. whatever. but when 100,000 people do it? that’s a million dollars, going into the hands of a zionist, who is using YOUR money to help kill innocent men, women, and children. put that in your pipe and smoke it.

it is not just the games you need to boycott. HBO’S show also needs to be. follow this link to learn of more movies and shows you need to boycott, & the reasons why, including the last of us. let’s also not forget that dina & abby’s actresses are in support of israel, and BELLA RAMSEY, ellie’s actress, has also shown support.

boycott. the fucking. show. there are a million websites where you can pirate it, so you are not giving any of your support to it. resist."

what it comes down to is this: purchasing the game or watching the show directly from nd or HBO is not a must. spreading awareness and speaking out about palestine is. you are more than capable of not purchasing the game, or watching playthroughs, or buying the game secondhand, etc. you are more than capable of pirating the hbo show so that money is not made off of your engagement. it's not that difficult. i have said it once, and i will say it again: boycotting is a form of resistance, and that is the least we can do for those suffering in gaza as you read this. resist. people openly admitting that they went and purchased the game anyway simply make me sick. i hope you know what an awful thing to brag about that is, and how despicable of a human it makes you.

CONCLUSION

there's so much to discuss when it comes down to this topic, and it's possible that in the future, i will make a second part to this. however, for now, i really hope this does suffice. i believe knowing of the game's israeli nature is a step. but knowing the specifics is a leap, one that i need everyone engaged in this fandom to take, hence why i wanted to make this post at all.

i'm not saying anyone needs to quit liking the games or the show or whatever. i'm not saying you need to delete or throw away a game you spent $60 on. i've seen so many people who are way too dense to understand that. what i'm saying is that it's crucial you are at least AWARE of the content you are consuming. aware of why it even came about at all.

in my opinion, you can't separate the game from the roots. but you can remain aware of the inner workings of this world you've grown to love. you can keep spreading awareness about it, and you can do right by the people in gaza by discussing the ongoing genocide, and using your voice as much as you can.

i'm so lucky to have been able to gain a following on here in such a short amount of time, even if that following has gone up and down because i've chosen to post more about palestine as opposed to my previous content (granted, that fact won't deter me at all). i will keep using said following to keep speaking out for the people in gaza, and i encourage you to do the same. keep reblogging. keep speaking up. keep using your voices. the people in gaza need us. be there for them.

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸🍉.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

neil druckmann | the official the last of us podcast | the not so hidden israeli politics of the last of us 2, by emanuel maiberg (i highly recommend you read the full post. it discusses several crucial details i didn't discuss in this post) | galid shalit prisoner exchange | Neil Druckmann Speaking on the Washington Post | 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (TW: LYNCHING) | 'The Last of Us Part II' Is a Grim and Bloody Spectacle, but a Poor Sequel | Veiling Colonial Violence: The Last of Us Part II, Israel and the Erasure of Power (full disclosure, i did not read the full post. i merely needed the quote in the very beginning of it) | zionism in tlou2 | isabela merced | kaitlyn dever | bella ramsey's support of israel

PALESTINE LINKS

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[loveemagicpeace]

⭐️🎸Astrology Notes🌙🫧

Men's who has capricorn in personal planets grow up faster and they mature earlier. They have more energy, a father, a guardian. They are very responsible and serious. These are the fathers who will do anything for their child and want to do things right. They are very careful and do not get into something if they do not see a future here and are also more focused on themselves and their work.

Sagittarius rising- in reality they are very sad people inside. They make the best jokes and you will always feel positive and happy with them, but they often wear a mask that they show to others, but only to the people they trust the most, or sometimes even to those they don't. In their sidereal chart they have scorpio rising which means that this makes their interior very deep and emotional but hidden from the outside world.

Scoprio rising mixed with Gemini, will be very open, talkative and talk a lot. Geminis like to talk about things, they are curious, and sometimes they say more than they should. Therefore, such a person can betray many secrets of other people without realizing it or feeling a bad conscience.

I think a men who has mars in 8th house in very mysterious. This position is often marked by deep passions, transformative energy, and a mysterious aura. Men with Mars in the 8th house are driven by a deep and intense passion in all areas of their lives. Sex is very important part of him. There is often a strong desire for power and control, especially over shared resources, emotional connections, and even other people. He can often be subject to jealousy and intense behavior. But he doesn't show it from the beginning. I noticed that many times they test the other person's behavior and that they want to know their step.

Chiron sextile Ascendant-People naturally feel drawn to you when they need emotional support because you emanate a sense of understanding and compassion. This aspect suggests that you've likely experienced deep emotional or psychological wounds in your life, but you have learned to grow from them. Through facing and overcoming your struggles, you've gained a deeper understanding of yourself, which you can share with others. With this aspect, you are deeply empathetic, often able to sense the pain or struggles of others without them having to say much. There's a tendency to be drawn toward others who need healing, and you may feel a strong urge to help them. While Chiron sextile Ascendant often means you are aware of your wounds, it's important not to overly identify with them or let them define you.

Chiron trine Ascendant-People may feel comfortable opening up to you about their struggles, as your own experiences with pain or hardship have made you empathetic and understanding. You tend to present yourself as authentic and vulnerable, which draws people in and makes them feel connected to you. You aren't afraid to show your scars or talk about your past difficulties, and this openness makes you relatable and trustworthy. You tend to attract people who need healing or who have been wounded in similar ways as you. You'll need to be mindful of not taking on too much of other people's pain, as this can lead to burnout or emotional exhaustion.

I have noticed with Virgos, especially when someone has them in their personal planets, that they are minimalist in terms of style, clothes, etc. Let's say: they buy one piece and then combine the whole outfit with this piece. They often buy in pieces and are usually always color coordinated and never wear more than 2 colors.

If u don't have 5th house synastry with another person at all probability they will not have children. Because this is the house that represents children, childbirth, etc. And when you don't share this house with someone, you don't even see the desire to have children with that person, and the focus is usually on several other things.

The 4th house represents a family (but it does not necessarily represent a family with children. It is more of a home that you want to create for yourself or with your partner, and when you share this house with someone, there are also more chances that you will create a home together and also aspects with the moon indicate that you and the person can move together.

People who have many virgo placements or 6th houses often vomit. They are very prone to vomiting and have a sensitive stomach. They are very sensitive to new food (for example, if they try food that they have never tried before, it can quickly affect their stomach). They usually do not tolerate alcohol well. And they usually don't drink a certain drink or eat a certain food because it just doesn't suit them.

Difference between libra sun and libra rising - libra sun are more proud in love and when it comes to love. They are decisive about what they want and who they want in love. Because they are ruled by the sun and that is their ego and they can have a bigger ego. But they are also very serious, stable, always looking for some stability in love. Many differences, their view of love is completely different. Libra rising are sometimes too indecisive and in love with the idea of love. Maybe sometimes the idea that they can have someone and sometimes that's why they come across the wrong partner. They have to be more careful with who they get involved with, because they have an Aries in the 7th house and they can get a partner who ends up taking a lot away from them. When you're with someone who has the same sun as you, they have the same ego about the same things, so sometimes it's good if your sun is different from your partner's. Let's say: libra & libra sun will both have egos when it comes to love. Taurus & taurus sun are stubborn about values, money, materialism, changes.

Venus in Capricorn people if they really love you, they will stay and won't let you go. If they don't see a future with you, they won't stay with you for long (because they don't like to waste time). Which means that if they see you for several months, they see a future. Also they are not complicated. They appreciate mature people and intelligent people. They like people who have self-respect. But they are very careful in love.

It is very important to have compatible mercury in synastry. Because that's how you can find a common language. And you can mentally connect with someone in a more deep way. When you have a different mercury, it means that you and the person find it difficult to find a common language.

When you have 12th house placements you are more connected to your subconscious world. You feel things much more. You can manifest things faster and you can connect more with your other world.

2nd house shows that you value a lot of material things. And that when someone buys you a gift or anything, you always save it and have it with you.

Saturn in the eighth resists transformations, which is why the older astrologers associated this placement with a difficult death. It is not so much a sign of a difficult death as of resistence to the idea of any kind of change.

In contrast, the ninth house symbolizes those mental functions that reach out to deal with whatever is not routine or day-to-day. It is the house through which come new ideas, perceptions, and modes of thinking: a house of consciousness expansion. This is also universal house, which means that people with this placements are more connected to the universe. It is traditionally associated with long journeys, as opposed to the short journeys of the third. Long journeys place one in an unfamiliar situation and hence expand ones consciousness.

The tenth house signifies all relationships between oneself and another in which there is inequality: where one person plays a dominant role to the other, who explicitly or implicitly takes the role of a child or dependent. The essence of such a relationship is that the person taking the dominant role teaches or guides the other. The inequality inherent in these relationships is usually normal and proper rather than pathological. The superior knowledge of the guide figure and the guidance being given are useful and necessary to the one receiving them. Saturn as chart ruler represents in your life some guidelines. He sends you people who are like "saturn people" who give you some advice or teach you something. A reason to better understand life. Saturn gives you hints on how to find what you are looking for and how to achieve it.

When you have Cancer Moon, you will always remember your entire life from early childhood to adulthood. As if to browse the memory back and forth and relive the feelings of that moment. You also have a strong intuition. And you are emotionally quick to judge people, and your memory is essentially an emotional impression. You will remember the feeling of a person, an event, things and happenings. Memories leave an emotional imprint on your heart. Unlike, say, the Capricorn Moon, they are a practical sign. They will always remember how much you did for them, time is very important to them, how much time you took for them (especially they remember actions). An air moon like, for example, a Gemini, they give a lot to communication, words and will remember events based on what someone told them. Then we have a fiery moon, say Sagittarius moon. They will remember their energy and experience feelings based on the energy that the person gives them

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🦋🌙🫧

[scorpihoe1111]

💔Chiron In the Houses💔

Chiron in your chart can tell you which part of your life is a touchy subject for you. Depending on the house it’s in, it can reveal the themes of your life that may have affected you greatly, or an area in your life that you may be insecure about.

Chiron in the 1H🧍🏼‍♀️

Something you may have struggled with through out your life is your appearance/self esteem. Those with this placement may have been bullied for their looks or something about them physically has been commented on/brought attention to plenty of times. The type of person to invest in plastic surgery they may not even need, or lose/gain a few extra pounds when their body is fine as it is. This placement, ironically enough; is found in people who overdo themselves with enhancements/plastic surgery/makeup etc even when it’s unnecessary. Prone to facial/body dysmorphia. What I find interesting however is that this placement usually naturally glows up at some point in their life as they get older, but the scars still remain; so they usually can continue being insecure for a long time and/or can seem to accept or believe any compliments given to them until they heal.

Chiron in the 2H💴

Similar to chiron in the 1H, this placement struggles with self worth/self esteem to a heightened degree, however instead of stemming from appearance it stems more so from financial instability/self worth in general. This placement could have grew up in a financially unstable environment and family where money wasn’t always present, and their needs were barely met; let alone their wants. These are the people who didn’t grow up with the latest video game, the newest car, the nicest house, expensive clothes/shoes. These were the people who had or barely had enough to get by growing up. Growing up they could have been surrounded by people who had more than them, or at least had more basic necessities than they did which in turn caused them to get judged or bullied. This is a placement that people are looked down upon for not having/affording nice things. This placement usually makes one an extremely hard worker growing up so they can have everything they didn’t have when young and not have to deal with it again. Without healing this wound however, these people could be prone to growing up superficial and judgmental just like their bullies in youth. They can start judging others who have less than them, and assessing others worth by what they have materially; because this is how they were treated growing up.

Chiron in the 3H🧠

These people could have struggled in school and may have been held back in grades. A slow learner, to say the least. They may have had a hard time learning and/or dropped out of high school or college. These people also may struggle with speech difficulties, could have grew up with a stutter or wasn’t able to speak/process things properly throughout their childhood and they could have been bullied for this. They could have been made to feel “stupid”, “slow” or “dumb” to their peers or family. They also may have simply grew up naive or very child like, maybe even sheltered and people could have traumatized them once they discovered the real world. This placement could also NOT get along with their siblings. People with this placement I know have been taunted, mistreated, or on the receiving end of jealousy by siblings both in childhood and adulthood.

Chiron in the 4H🏠 TW: ABUSE

These people could have had a very negative upbringing or family life. Home life was unstable, the father or mother could have not been very involved. I’ve noticed people with these placements could have been physically, emotionally or even sexually abused at home. Could have had a step parent that was abusive or one or both of the parents could have passed away. Some people with this placement could have been in foster care and/or traveled house to house to live with relatives/others who will take them in. They could of grew up with a lot of fighting in the house, I also noticed people with this placement could of had a parent that had an affair and this could of changed the whole trajectory of the home. If no abuse, then these people could have also been heavily mistreated or neglected in their family and almost treated like a stranger, and very outcasted within their family as well. These are the people who usually move out as soon as they can as they grow up and cut all contact immediately from family. Family could used the individual for personal gain. The family could have been extremely toxic, misogynistic, racist, overtly religious and/or diagnosed with mental illnesses such as NPD.

Chiron in the 5H🧑🏻‍🍼

These people struggle to be themselves and step outside the box. This placement is one where you’re afraid to accept any praise, as you feel you’re undeserving. These people usually feel like they’re not supposed to be happy or have nice things. They could have grew up with a negative, bitter family who influenced them to be overly humble to the point of self hatred. These were the people where the family could have threw things that they do for them in their face, even those it was basic necessities. “I put a roof over your head and food in your mouth!” this placement could of grew up feeling like they owe their parents something for bare minimum treatment. These people weren’t allowed to express themselves, to be themselves or to make their own decisions growing up. They were almost always practically controlled by their parents into being their personal robot. They feel guilty for enjoying themselves, loving themselves, having a good time or even just being happy. This is the ultimate placement that’s giving “If I can’t, why should you”. Not that it’s their fault, but I’ve never met a person with this placement who wasn’t the ultimate party pooper. Without healing, these people could grow up to become judgmental and bitter towards those who are living their best life. They could also struggle with fertility issues as well.

Chiron in the 6H🖊️

I feel like this placement is ridiculously hard on themselves no matter what they achieve in life. These are the people who I can honestly say are over givers, yet they feel like they’re still not giving enough. They could have struggled with keeping a set routine for themselves or even practicing basic hygiene growing up. But this is because this placement is a placement where nobody taught them anything that they know, they had to learn everything on their own. These people could be called lazy for wanting to take a simple break. Their lives usually revolve around work or doing their job. They can also be the type of people who is always trying to make everyone else happy except for themselves. I usually see people with this placement get taken advantage of because of their overly giving and forgiving nature. The reason these people are the way they are is because they grew up in a household that never gave them anything they have. They always felt like they had to prove themselves to others that they’re worthy of basic human decency. They do their best to help and do nice things for others because they were practically on their own soon as they came out of the womb. :(

Chiron in the 7H👩‍❤️‍👨

Oh boy, this placement is harsh. Those with Chiron in the 7H are people who have been deeply traumatized by love/relationships. These people usually end up with really bad partners who end up cheating, using, degrading and/or abusing them. I find this placement similar to Saturn in the 7H, however Chiron here is way more intense. These people feel like they keep going through the same cycle over and over in regards to love. They could have been traumatized by multiple relationships but the people I’ve met with this placement usually have that 1 relationship that changed their whole outlook on love in general. This is somebody who’s went through so many manipulative mind games in love that they start to lose hope. Once healed however, those with this placement end up becoming very mature and healthy individuals in regards to love and relationships. These people usually find “the one” once they start healing from the trauma of this placement. If unhealed, Relationships/marriage to people with this placement slowly start to lose its appeal once they get older because they put it in their mind that every man/woman is the same. Unfortunately, people who have been disappointed enough times with this placement start to turn so bitter that they become a misandrist/misogynist at some point in time. That’s why it’s important to heal if you have this placement, because it’s a harsh one that really starts to affect the mind internally.

Part 2 is on its way ☺️

[gatorbites-imagines]

Coming in here on hands and knees begging for evil emperor mark info. I want that emperor OBLITERATED.

He's not super fleshed out, but evil emperor mark rose to the top through violence and smarts. He's always been smarter and more thought out than the average mark, so even back when he was just invincible, hero of earth, mark had major plans for what to do and the future.

He acted, for the most part. He didn't actually care too much about humanity, only really his mom and William, and he had no interest in eve outside of "well, we'd make great offspring". Maybe Nolan was a little more open about viltrum with his son, after catching mark killing insects or making comments about how people should just die, when watching the news or movies.

In the beginning he just wanted to take over earth, just because he could, so he played the role of the perfect hero. Until he learned about viltrum, their empire, and the fact that they have an emperor, then he wanted THAT.

He's very selfish and possessive, he wants power, he wants rank, he wants to be feared and admired. But he also wants someone to keep up with him, a rival if you prefer, someone to keep him on his toes. Be it in physical battle, battle of the mind, or in bed.

Evil emperor mark likes being the best at everything, and he's at least a thousand years old when we meet him, so he's picked up a lot of different talents. Like music, art, architecture, agriculture, etc etc. he starts homesteading when joining the harem, to one up the other marks.

Emperor mark doesn't see sex as something for pleasure, at least until he ends up in the harem. Before that, it's treated like a fight, where he will bottom yes, but he is in no way submissive. He ends up completely changing the status quo of bottoms across the Galaxy cuz he's a known bottom, but a very very dominant bottom 😭

He's also got the greatest ass and body you've ever seen, soft in the right places, hard in the right places, he's like a sculpture made out of the most beautiful marble. All the scars littering his body is seen as attractive by him too, so he loves showing off.

He likes showing off, wearing jewelry and being pretty, but also handsome at the same time. The only time he's ever had kids in his original dimension, was so they could grow up and he could fight them. It's never him that was pregnant in his universe, as he saw that as beneath him.

Evil emperor mark is thraggs size or maybe a little bigger, and even stronger than thragg was. He killed thragg for his title, and the two might have banged once or twice before mark killed him like a female praying mantis when done mating.

[vonbabbitt]

hiroaki too. i think this is the last one i have from pink

hiroaki loredrop tw for hiroaki things

HIROAKI!! hiroaki was born in tokyo, specifically in the shibuya area, so hes always been living in a very urbanized and busy environment. he was a fairly normal and actually surprisingly boring child, but also very independent and didnt rely on his parents for some of the more basic parts of his life like getting to school and taking care of his needs and such. his parents were fine and he got along with them fine for the most part but he wasnt super close with them or anything. mostly co-existent! regardless: growing up in shibuya meant that he was around a lot of very interesting fashion that he was completely fascinated with. he eventually got into the habit of bringing a notebook with him when he took the bus to school every day and doodling any particularly interesting outfits he saw. this eventually bled into designing his OWN unique outfits during class instead of paying attention!! BECAUSE…..

HIROAKI GREW UP WITH VERY UNCHECKED ADHD. he was a super flighty child and didnt really pay attention in class because he just couldnt focus that well, especially if the topic wasnt super interesting for him. he did a lot of drawing and a lot of socializing, so those are the two things he ended up developing the most skill in. that said, he would get in trouble a lot for not paying attention in class and his grades were not fantastic, which upset his parents and had them nagging him fairly constantly to study and have better grades and pay more attention etc. etc. when really they maybe should have just gotten their son tested. anyway hiroaki persists with his not paying attention and his parents persist with their being very disapproving of his academic career!

hiroakis parents are not particularly invested in hiroakis interests at this point. they dont really care about fashion or his designs or any of that and would really prefer he just focus on school, so they dont really get invested in anything else he does. hiroaki is used to this from them - him and his parents are just not the same types of people at all so he never really tries to click with them - but regardless he continues drawing CONSTANTLY. hes just pumping out designs 24/7 because he loves it and hes passionate about it and its one of the only things that can hold his focus for a super extended period of time.

when hiroaki hits age eleven he decides its time to start realizing this hobby a bit further and he learns how to properly make a pattern and sew! this opens a WHOLE NEW WORLD for him. it blows his mind that he can make his drawings real. so now instead of just drawing all the time, hes constantly doing odd jobs around his neighbourhood to get enough money to buy new supplies and continue making outfits for himself. nothing else really matters at this point because he is fully invested and having a blast. grades continue to slip and his parents are not jazzed about it! when he hits middle school, his parents get a bit stricter. he needs to study, he needs to bring his grades up, no exception, no argument. so he loses some of his free time privileges because his parents are doubling down hard on making him study. he is PISSED about this and it drives a bit of a rift between him and his parents. hiroaki is a kid with very big dreams!! he wants to go into fashion and see other people wearing the things he designs!! he wants to make people feel confident in themselves!! his parents want him to have a more standard career that he'll actually be able to rely on. it is a conflict of interest. regardless back to the point: hiroaki is focused on academics for the time being and he is NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

key point: hiroaki's academic problems are only due in part to his obsession with fashion. the other part is, again, he has very unchecked ADHD! so he struggles HARD in the standard school environment and by thirteen hes in serious serious desperation for something that can help him. he does not understand whats wrong but he knows that he needs to be fixed so he starts looking for solutions. eventually this leads him to falling in with a bad crowd who insist that he can self-medicate with opioids and itll calm him down. hes thirteen and hes stupid and theyre all stupid because they are kids. regardless, he starts taking pretty low-level opioids and sees some success! hiroakis addictive personality kicks in and by the time hes fourteen hes a full blown opioid addict. needs them to do literally anything at this point. his parents are aware and concerned but also his grades are turning around so theyre not really sure how to react.

the OTHER thing that happened when hiroaki turned fourteen: his designs started BLOWING UP. by this point hes posting things online and people are LIKING IT. they start wanting to buy and he starts going full steam ahead on production. now his grades are slipping back down. parents are mad again! tension between hiroaki and his parents continues to build and his relationship with them continues to be not great. he doesnt really care: hes been independent his entire life and its paying off, so why should be bother paying attention to them now? he goes full force on building his brand and it pays off - soon the novelty of a kid his age being as talented as he is starts carrying him UP. hes getting interviews, hes getting invited to events, hes big news. hiroaki, very socially aware but also kind of a loner, does not know what to do with all this newfound fame and falls in pretty deep with his vices. hes hanging out with cool and popular people that do not have his best interest in mind. hes smoking because he thinks it looks cool because hes fifteen. he’s down a bad path.

this bad path culminates in hiroakis drug addiction getting a LOT worse. hes gone from opioids to help with focus to heroin to help him not have a complete panic attack at the massive amount of social pressure on his shoulders. while hes making a shit ton of money pumping out designs, he’s losing money FAST because he is BLOWING it on drugs. his friends think he’s cool and his parents don’t really notice so this goes pretty much unchecked, if not actually encouraged! eventually he’s doing so much heroin on a daily basis that he is not getting anything else done and he has a bit of a mental health spiral from here. his life is gonna fall apart and he knows it and he’s terrified. but as always, he is hiroaki nakamigawa and he is a lone wolf and he can handle this on his own! except no he cant and while he eventually gets himself on a much lesser dosage rate and focuses himself on art again, he still has a serious addiction to opioids and heroin. he doesnt really see it as an issue anymore because its not super obvious to the outside world and its not preventing him from designing, so its probably fine! everything is good and fine! except everything is not good and fine. the good and fine things: he is rich, he is successful, he is famous, he is doing everything he loves and he is living big in tokyo. the not fine: he is extremely anxious, missing any real connection in his life, very depressed and addicted to drugs! he is also SIXTEEN YEARS OLD so this whole lifestyle is a massive massive amount of pressure. hes a bit of an asshole but in his shoes its somewhat unavoidable. hes a dumb kid.

so age seventeen: hiroaki on an island of his own. same as always. hes finally not in debt anymore but hes on and off drugs about 90% of the time and has no real relationship with his parents anymore. the only things he cares about are the things that can give him something in return: his fame, his work, his drugs, his shitty friends. he makes a few attempts to turn his personal life around but ultimately deems it unnecessary because hes popular and rich so what could he be upset about? at this point in his life it’s easier to just repress. so he does! and then the killing game starts

[captainuranium543]

Ft headcanons nobody wanted part 2

-natsu will occasionally get genuinely jealous over his friends owning appliances for heating. Why should they need those things when they have him, if they just call him over her do a way better job then any of those stupid gadgets. He finds out gray owns a hair dryer and immediately becomes a jealous ex girlfriend. He confronts Lucy in her apartment one night acting so serious he she doesn't even get mad that he broke in, then just goes "care to explain this?" And puts a lighter on the table.

- Wendy is very very quiet. Creepily so. Not elaborating but I think you can imagine the kinds of situations this leads to.

- Mira's eyes glow in the dark and it creeps everyone the fuck out

- erza has the worst hoarding problem. Her dorm room is entirely piled floor to ceiling with boxes of meticulously organized random items she refuses to throw out for some reason

young Mira: "alright this is ridiculous why do you even have this"

Young erza: "say what you want but when you need 746 packets of Mcnolias sweet and sour sauce and find your supply baron I'll be laughing"

- levy is one of the few members of the guild who actively sought it out to join. Before fairy tail she was an orphan and a student studying magic. She left to join fairy tail to learn more about magic in general from real world experience.

- laki will sometimes build creepily realistic wooden statues of her guild mates and leave them around in inconspicuous places so when you find them they scare the shit out of you. Sometimes she hides them too well and it takes years to discover them.

- Lucy has actually written several unpublished novels and the only other person who's ever seen them is levy. Lucy thinks their crap but levy carefully annotates every single one.

- laxus used to occasionally be forced to go on jobs with erza and Mira when they were young both to help and to make sure they didn't kill each other and he hated it.

- I think I might have said this before but I firmly believe levy, Lucy, freed and jellal later on all form a book club because they love reading, the problem is they all have vastly different tastes in book so they can never decide what to read each week and usually just end up playing Scrabble and talking shit about their various teammates

"please guys trust me this one's good"

"I am NOT reading Colleen Hoover Lucy and that's final"

- this one's based on city hero but I personally believe erza and Erik find a shocking common ground over motorcycles. Erza likes vehicles in general and Erik took up bike racing as a hobby, since discovering this is the longest they've been able to be in the same room together without someone throwing a punch.

- Wendy visits lamia scale regularly still to hang out with chelia. she usually brings romeo and they all go out to do whatever dumb kid stuff they want. (Tbh I just like her having friends her own age)

-lucy sometimes randomly lets her rich girl's heritage show in random conversation and it's always jarring. You'll be having a normal chill convo with her and then she'll look you dead in the eyes and ask you what colour your personal carriage was growing up.

- Natsu is genuinely a really good cook he just has a terrible taste so nobody wants to eat his food. For reference he only ever cooks his food because he enjoys doing it to him it tastes fine either way.

- if you had asked the fairy tail guild who the scariest guild member was in early season 1 the answers would have been erza, guildarts, laxus etc all the usual suspects. Once season 2 starts however the answer is unanimous. It's juvia. Juvia is fucking terrifying when she gets mad. You don't realize how scary water can be until it's filling your lungs and as your vision blurs until all you can see is her merciless stare.

- Mira and freed can drink blood for demon reasons. gray can too after getting devil slayer but he thinks its gross. Surprisingly so can gajeel because of the high iron content.

- gray the type of guy who's bed has only the smallest thinnest blanket on his bed and usually it's on the ground cuz he gets too hot

- meanwhile erza is the type of girl to have so many pillows, blankets and plushies on her bed you wonder how she fucking sleeps in it. Mf has a NEST.

- Lucy isn't even surprised anymore when she finds people in her house, she doesn't know how they keep getting in and honestly she doesn't care anymore she's to tired to deal with it.

- freed plays a lot of really fucking weird instruments. Idk it just seems like something he would do.

- bixlow can speak most languages and it's always really surprising when he randomly says smth like "oh yea I can speak ancient nirvid no prob" like that's totally normal

- if laxus and freed ever did get together (in my heart it's cannon) evergreen and bixlow would be their biggest haters. Yea they love them and they're happy for them but also EW. GROSS. GET A ROOM.

[cece693]

Hi, your tumblr is amazing, I loved discovering it. Can I make a request? About a slasher who discovers that the male reader is a serial killer as terrible as the ones in the real world. I'm not sure which one would fit best; I thought of Jason, Billy and Stu, maybe Michael or Norman Bates… whatever you think is best and/or are most familiar with.

Slashers With a Serial Killer Lover (Slashers x GN! Reader)

Sorry it took a while to complete this request but I was in a weird funk and uninspired. However, with this being more of a multi-character request/headcannon, it spurred me to complete it. I included the slashers you mentioned above, alongside Hannibal, Will (I'm aware he's not a slasher, but I just love him) and Patrick. I also changed it to be gender neutral because I want to be more inclusive :)

Norman Bates

Norman would be conflicted—after all, you're not only worried about his reaction but that of 'mother.' If your actions pleased her, Norman might be supportive. However, if they don't and 'mother' perceives you to be a threat, expect Norman to turn against you (with tears in his eyes.) However, even if 'mother' does approve of your hobby, this relationship is far from simple. 'Mother' might grow jealous of how much Norman is straying from her teachings and become vengeful. Expect a chaotic rollercoaster of guilt, affection, and psychological breakdowns.

Michael Myers

Michael would be indifferent to your hobby unless they interfered with his own objectives. He might view you as a tool or an ally in his pursuits, but wouldn't engage emotionally or ethically about whom you kill. Expect no romantic gestures, but be assured, Michael observes from the shadows whenever your out and about. He's ready to lend a hand when you need a show of brutal force or the tides unexpectedly turn against you. Michael doesn’t tolerate weakness, so if you proved to be cunning and self-sufficient, that would almost earn a silent respect.

Billy Loomis

Billy’s manipulative side would initially question if this is some trick or if he can use the situation to his advantage. However, deep down, he’d be excited at the idea of having a lover who’s just as twisted as he is. However, because you are a serial killer and Billy has this notion of being the 'brains' of the relationship, expect many fights. He wants to be the person in control, so he might never be fully comfortable in your relationship if he perceives you as greater than him. This relationship is a mine for mind games, but be assured when you find common ground, you're a deadly duo.

Stu Matcher

Stu wouldn't care about you being a serial killer. In fact he'll be ecstatic because it would be like living in a non-stop horror flick. Let's face it, he has murder tendencies but often allows you to take reign. He would join your hunts but see it more as a game: he'd want to do 'team kills', wear matching outfits, etc. Expect him to crack jokes non-stop or reference horror tropes, even if you're in the middle of killing someone. Stu is impulsive—“Hey, let’s kill that person!” or “We should totally sabotage this house party!” If you're down for it, Stu’s loyalty is intense, though erratic.

Jason Voorhees

Jason mostly kills out of vengeance or anger, and he’s not particularly intellectual about it. So when he discovers that his boyfriend is a serial killer, he wouldn't be bothered. In fact, he'll probably look up to you: learning how to better kill and dispose of his victims. However, he would get violent if you make a move unto his territory (Camp Crystal Lake) or disrespect the memory of his beloved mother. You are a serial killer and so is Jason, but a part of you likes to hide some of your more brutal and gruesome kills from him. He has a childlike mind so you thread carefully and are overprotective of your giant teddy bear :)

Hannibal Lecter

Hannibal, being a connoisseur of murder himself, would be intrigued and possibly delighted by having a lover who shared his proclivities. However, he would also evaluate your style and motives. If they matched his sense of aesthetic and intellectual stimulation, he would be supportive, but he might manipulate or dispose of you if deemed proved crude or unworthy. He has standards, after all. He’d encourage you to be more meticulous, to pay attention to the senses, to savor each detail. Hannibal would absolutely offer subtle mentorship—introducing more elegant methods, or guiding you toward “ethically chosen” victims. Expect a twisted sort of domesticity: lavish dinners, intellectual sparring, and an understanding that behind every polite smile, there lurks a dangerous mind. Hannibal would want a partner who challenges him intellectually and morally, even in their darkest impulses.

Will Graham

Will would initially be disturbed upon discovering that you're a serial killer. His empathy would reel from the moral violation. Yet, there might be a pull—something that resonates with the darker corners of his psyche. It would be a constant tug-of-war between love (or at least genuine care) and the horror of his partner’s violent acts. Will might try to “save” them, or rationalize why they kill, but he’d be tormented by guilt at the same time. Torn between turning you in or continuing to keep the secret, Will might become complicit in small ways—covering up your tracks or giving subtle advice to avoid detection. This would only deepen his internal conflict. However, once that love for you overclouds his morality, Will becomes a complicit partner and helps you with your kills.

Patrick Bateman

Patrick’s narcissism would initially cause him to feel threatened—he wants to be the center of attention and the “best” at whatever he does, including killing. But if your kills are stylish, impressive, or feed into his ego, he’d become enthralled. You best believe foreplay includes you killing one of Patrick's rivals and creating a tableau that fosters his view of superiority above everyone else. The relationship would revolve around status, wealth, and aesthetics. Your kills would become an odd game of one-upmanship: who can kill more creatively or remain more flawless in public. Patrick loves an audience—if you can provide him with the right blend of admiration and competition, you'll stay in his good graces.

[bamfkeeper]

Parents.

Kurt Wagner x F!reader

RQ: 'CAN WE PLS GET MORE DAD!KURT HC'S??? PLS I BEG' - @thel0v3hashira143

Warnings: Baby themes, mentions of breastfeeding and other recovery things from birth and pregnancy.

A/N: Pleaseee I love Kurt as a dad <3 Dad!Kurt has to have a goatee I don't make the rules 😩

Kurt loves being a dad. He's always wanted to be a father and he was so excited when you got pregnant and gave birth. He was so attentive to you, and during labor and the birthing process, he was there helping as much as possible.

When it was the first night home from the hospital, he made sure you got your baby inside safely and you got to bed right away. He didn't want you moving around too much. He had already prepped the bedroom, the bassinet was beside the bed for you to easily reach for your baby at night for feedings.

He had water, cream, medicine, everything you needed. He popped up at night when he felt you move, checking on you nearly every hour.

If you wanted to only breastfeed, he'd absolutely be okay with that, and he'd make sure you were alright doing so. He would help you pump and offer bottles if you needed, but he'd mostly try to respect your wants.

I don't think Kurt would care what gender the baby is. He'd love it no matter what. I always had a feeling that if he had a boy he'd name it Gabriel.

Names in general can be played with. You can imagine him going the religious route, or the German route, or if you have a name you like from your own culture, then you could choose that. Kurt is just happy you're having a baby, the name isn't something he's going to argue about with you.

Kurt is absolutely super protective over the baby and you, especially fresh from the hospital. He advocates your wishes to all your friends and family. No visitors, no pictures, no holding the newborn, etc. whatever rules you have.

You love watching him hold your baby, how he cradles them in his arms and hums so sweetly. He gently rubs his nose into the baby's tiny one, he's so gentle with them.

He kisses your baby's feet, listening to the sweet giggles because his beard tickles their toes. He loves to give them raspberries too.

He likes to sing German lullabies or songs to your baby. His singing voice is actually really good.

You thought Kurt was protective before, but once your baby moves around more often, he becomes even more so. Anyone says anything about your baby's appearance or yours after your pregnancy, he loses it. You didn't think that would get you going but...damn.

Your baby would be bilingual. They'd learn English and German growing up.

Walking is fun. With the tiny tail your baby has, balance is much easier, so your baby is walking long before normal babies walk.

As your baby grows, their little voice develops an accent in both languages, and you both adore it. Kurt is so proud of your little one, going on and on about how smart they are and how they get it from you.

Kurt loves dressing your baby too, he definitely puts them in little overalls or lederhosen.

Kurt plays with your little one all the time, especially at parks, he loves pushing them in the swing and sliding down the slide with them in his lap. He absolutely makes up extravagant make believe scenarios about sailing the seas on a big pirate ship, aka the couch.

Speaking of...pirate costumes for Halloween is a MUST.

Also let's not forget the spoiling your child will endure. Kurt gets them whatever they want. Stuffed animals, toys, clothes, sweets, within reason of course. But he can't resist.

Kurt loves to cook German dishes for you and your child, it makes him happy to do and it connects you and your child closer to his roots.

Bedtime stories are big for Kurt too. The showman he is, he tells the stories in different voices, he completely acts out the parts to make your child giggle and laugh. He tucks your little one in and gives them a kiss, a soft lullaby, then it's off to dreamland.

You adore seeing this side of Kurt, he's grown into a wonderful parent, even if he did have some worries before. He is absolutely perfect. A perfect father and a perfect husband.

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

Cover images: Immortal X-Men #7 (2022), Pinterest for others

[ivesambrose]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 🥂

1. 2. 3.

Do I dare ask how 2023 has been for y'all?

Pick the image you feel the most pull towards or have been seeing around you a lot, if you feel drawn towards multiple, so be it. 🤍

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at Ivesambrose@gmail.com

Personal services

Winter Specials

Thank you for the tip 🌹

𝓟𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 1

Your central theme is rising from the ashes. You're in the process of the most intense metamorphosis yet. A new dawn, a new day, a new life.

You'll feel empowered, passionate and obsessive about your pursuits. You'll allow the old skin to be ripped off of you and you'll no longer be scared to be you.

This year brings you connections, admires, collaborations, unions both in personal and proffesional life.

There's a certain duality in you that you haven't explored yet, but you will in the coming months.

You'll have good health for the most part compared to the previous year. Your family will be taken care of. The hope and assurance you may have lacked from them will come through. It will feel warm and refreshing. (Goes for chosen family too)

Romantically, you may be focused on your career or just living your life a lot. But someone might want to build a legacy or long term relationship with you.

If you're already coupled, the focus goes to building what you have and looking after domestic affairs and see things bloom.

Proffesionally, you will have your most successful and blessed year. Money shouldn't be a problem and even if it seems like it, your needs will always be met and you'll still have more.

Some of you might enjoy ghe fruits of your labour extensively. This goes for the ones who work solo or run their own business etc

Academically, you might feel a bit disinterested. Might move out from your home or change subjects. Take up something completely new. Might face your fears and push through but make it a point to follow your inner calling for the most part.

Themes centered around relationships and partnerships are significant this year as well opportunities coming out of the blue that call you to heed your intuition and step out of your comfort zone or limiting mindsets, that will inevitably lead to travel, progress and new experiences.

Make the best of this year, it'll feel like you're finally on the journey you've been preparing yourself for all this time.

𝓟𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 2

Your central theme is using your emotions as your guiding force, using it as fuel and not seeing it as weakness. Quieting your mind so you can listen to your instincts more. Healing from things you don't speak of, that you've felt have persistently held you back from your potential and finally taking the lead. You'll feel like the main character in your life finally, instead of seeing everything through the lens of a side character no one remembers.

You'll feel motivated to follow what makes your heart happy. You may be faced with choices a lot this year, a lot of this or that in several aspects of your life. Trust yourself to make the right decisions.

You'll be learning about your mind and body this year, so incase you go through ups and downs in your health you'll be able to manage it but also guide others too.

Romantically, you might as well get your happy ending. I see that you're mostly focused on the complete picture. Not bothered with what is going on in between too much. So you'll get what you're manifesting eitherway.

Proffesionally, a rebirth or evolution will take place. Something new that will grow overtime. You'll be driven about it. So success will be imminent.

Success in academics as well, feeling proud of your achievements.

Themes around revolution, personal development, healing generational trauma, humanitarism, technology as well being open to the unknown will also be prevalent this year.

Learn to make amends and embrace the breakthroughs this year has to offer you.

𝓟𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 3

Your central theme is related to wealth, inheritance, change of lifestyle, receiving help, building a legacy and feeling more secure. Some of you will see a success or change they did not see coming, it was hidden for the longest time.

Some of you may even be leaving poverty behind for a more financially secure life.

You'll find yourself blooming, physically especially. A glow up in your looks and quality of being is going to be imminent. Focus on health, beauty, food, routine etc as well. A lot of you will be experiencing vivid dreams, strange synchronicities etc too will be learning about esoteric subjects, occult or the subconscious mind a lot. You'll also be receiving success and recognition or you might be building your steps towards it that will eventually pay off in the long run.

You'll feel like this old self or image of you has died. You may even mourn it for some time but will feel more powerful, confident and self assured once you're past that.

Romantically, you'll be feeling desirable and might attract a lot of suitors. Your self concept will improve exponentially, so will your standards. So nothing less than what you want. Your intuition will be at all time high. Fear no one and nothing. Some of you might also be moving to a new house too or might end up owning something in your name.

Proffesionally, although you might deal with competition you won't be too worried. You know your skills, you'll have your resources, your work will speak for it self and you will stand out.

Friendship, community, discoveries and gains are also some of the themes surrounding you this year.

Let your imagination create for you. You'll soon realize there's so much power in allowing yourself to receive what you desire by simply being instead of doing too much.

[luffysscraps]

NSFW ALPHABET;🔞;FT MONKEY D. LUFFY

Cw: Fem reader; NFSW;🔞; Luffy is a warning himself

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex); He’s a little floaty to say the least. He’s in and out of Ecstasy and sleepiness. “Y-y/n? How do you feel… *snore* I’m tired…” He tries to stay awake, he really does but cumming just felt sooo good and now he’s sooo tired. He wraps an elastic arm around your body to pull you close and then snuggles into your neck before falling asleep. Not much clean up is done, he sees no need to and has no problem sleeping in the mess of your juices and his cum.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s); Oh he loves every single part of your body, but if he had to choose one part it’s not the typical ass, thighs or boobs. It’s your mouth. Something about your mouth is just so sexy to him, your lips, your teeth, the wetness, the warmth. Hmmm it melts him in seconds. He could just make out with you all day and cum from that if he wanted. Sometimes he gets boners just watching you eat something.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically); He’s nasty with his cum. He’ll cum anywhere and everywhere on your body. Your mouth, boobs, thighs, ass, stomach, back, inside your pussy, even in your ear. He loves the way you look when you’re completely drenched in his seed.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs); Luffy has no secrets, whatever he wants to try something he’s into he’ll tell you in a heartbeat without any hesitation or embarrassment. You laugh a certain way; “Man that was hot.” You’re sucking on an ice pop; “I wish that was my dick!” You simply sit down; “Why don’t you sit on me for once!?” All cats are out of the bag when Luffy’s around and he has no shame in telling you what he wants.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?); It’s hard to tell. I mean Luffy mates for life, one and done is enough for him. If he lost his virginity to you then you’re going to carry his children and die next to him. So he’s inexperienced in that department, but when he’s having sex it’s like his primal instincts just tell him what to do. He’s not a nervous virgin who slips up his first time, he’s acting like a sex god. Taking and learning from every single signal your body give him. Your surprised when he found your clit and abused the hell out of it! You thought it was his first time but here you are getting fucked to bits by a virgin. Afterwards you asked him and he just shrugged. “Just did what I thought was right!” He’ll laugh. “By the way why are you turned on when I touch your pee hole doesn’t that hurt?” “THAT’S MY CLIT YOU DIMWIT!”

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying); Piledriver. He loves to get in between you and have your body hunched over on itself while he holds your legs and almost breaks you in half. It’s the best position! He gets to see your body bend and twist with every thrust, and he can still see your face while he fucks you. He’s smiling down at you while your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your head getting smothered against the bedsheets with each and every thrust. Every now and then one of his hands will tickle your side just to hear your moan and laugh.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.); Are you serious? This man is goofy as hell even in the bedsheets. Nothing is ever serious to him, especially sex. To him sex should be a fun and heartfelt time. So he’ll crack jokes, tickle your sides, even make funny faces just to hear your beautiful laughs. “Y/n you moan like a chicken!” “N-no~ I don’t~! Y-you moan like a-a cow!” “Ha! No I don’t a cow would moan like this! MOOO~” You’ll cum and laugh at the same time with this man in bed.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.); Not groomed at all. He sees no point in it, it’s just going to grow back so why bother? He doesn’t care if he’s hairy down there, and he doesn’t care if you are either.Body Hair’s natural on bodies or else it wouldn’t grow there. He doesn’t see the big deal about it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect); He’s not romantic most of the time, but there are times where he’ll go on about how much he loves you while thrusting into you. It’s a rare moment where he’s not focused on cumming, but instead focused on getting the point across that he does love you. He loves you more then anything this world has to offer.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon); This man jacks off all of the time. Especially when he’s bored and there’s nothing to do, so if you’re not around or if you’re really not up for sex he’ll jack off. But he does it in your room—He’ll cum in your panties and put them back in your drawer like nothing happened. He’ll cum on your bed sheets and just cover the stain up with a pillow. He jacks off in your room because it smells like you and feels sooo warm. Your room would be covered with his DNA and if you ran a UV light over it you’d probably set your room on fire. (Ignorance is bliss)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks); He has so many, and I mean soooo many. One I haven’t talked about before is his scent kink. There’s something about your natural scent that drives him crazy. Your all natural smell, no lotions, no body wash, no perfumes to cover it up. It’s just so enticing. It’s just so… you. It smells so good. So after a long day of work out on the sea you lay down on your bed for a quick breather then plan on taking a quick shower before bed. But Luffy won’t let you. He cuddles up to you wrapping his limbs around you and he won’t let go. “Luffyyyy! Come on I need to take a shower I smell gross!” “No you don’t! You smell…. Good~” and before you know it he’s got your legs over his shoulder and his dick at your pussy’s entrance.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do); It’s a tie between your room and out on the deck. Well he like your room because it smells like you, and he could feel your presence everywhere in the room. It’s like he’s fucking twenty thousand of you at the same time. But he also likes out on the deck because it’s so exciting to think about getting caught. He likes to pair up with you on night watch and then fuck you over the railings. He’ll giggle and tell you to keep your voice down the others are sleeping.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going); Anything you do gets him turned on. If you sneeze, if you hiccup, if you just walk towards him he’ll get sprung at the most random times. You’ll be telling the team something serious and just gaze over to him to see if he understands and everyone is just staring at his hard on. “Uh oh….” “boner alert.” Nami and Usopp laugh on at their captain’s hard on. “DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO A WORD I SAID!?” “Yeah, som’thing bout’ fight to save the island, can it wait like five minutes I’m hard and your speech was so sexy ;(“

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs); The only thing that would turn him off was if you were actually hurt. At the first sight of blood he pulls out and sits you up asking if you’re okay. “Ah it’s okay Luffy I just wasn’t all the way ready! We can continue-“ He feels SOO BAD! He refuses to go on even if his boner is still raging. He never in a million years wants to hurt you. So hurting you is where he draws the line. (Now if you’re on your period that’s a totally different topic )

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.); It’s a tie! He loves eating your pussy for hours on end but he also loves when his cock is deep down your throat. He’s a babbling mess when you go down on him the same way you are when he’s down on you. So 69 is the best position when he wants to eat you out but he also wants his dick sucked.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.); He’s fast and rough most of the time. He doesn’t know what the word. “Gentle” means. He just thinks with his dick when he’s having sex and his dick wants to go fast and feel your insides grip him tighter. So that’s what he does. But if you ask him to slow down, if he’s in his right mind he will for about two minutes or so. Then it’s right back to him chasing his orgasm.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.); Quickies are fun to him! He loves them, if he’s got a boner he’ll rush over to you and throw you into the nearest broom closet; bush; tree. And in about three minutes or so he’ll come out with a satisfied look on his face while you’re still recovering, covered in hickies and cum. He just gets these urges where he needs to give you all of him and show you his love, and those urges happen more often then not. Sex with him can go on from anywhere to 2 minutes to 3 hours.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.); All Luffy does is take risks and the same thing applies in the bedroom. He’ll try anything he’s read about recently or just a random thought that comes to his mind. “Y/N! Why don’t you fuck me tonight! Chopper said there’s this thing in my ass and it’s basically a giant cum button! Can you press it for me?!” “Luffy! I don’t have a dick!” “Hmm you’re right! Well use your fingers then!” “Or you can stretch your dick straight into your asshole! Haha-“ “Y/N! YOU’RE A GENIUS-“ “I WAS JOKING-“

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?); Hours, days, weeks, months. His stamina is that of a world record marathon runner. Sometimes he can only take one or two rounds but other times he can go up to twenty. It all just depends on the day and his mindset.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?); “Toys what are those?! Let’s try them out!” He says as he’s stuffing the whole rack of anal beads down his throat thinking they were grapes. He doesn’t know what he’s doing but they’re a lot of fun! He loves stuffing your cunt full of vibrators and watching them all twirl and buzz against your slick. He’ll try some out too! You have a blindfold on him, a cock ring around his balls and his hands tied behind his back while your putting on a… what was it called? A strap on? He doesn’t know what that is but he’s ready to have some fun! “Oh boy! I can’t wait for the surprise- Ahha~!”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease); Luffy loves to tease you. “Where do you want it?” He’ll ask and once you finally recover enough to answer him he’ll shove his cock back inside of you with a grin continuing to fuck you into a babbling mess. “What was that?! Can’t hear you hehehe!” He’s giggling and laughing at your attempt to speak.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.); Oh my gosh he’s so loud. He groans, whimpers and moans loudly right into your ear. “Y/n~ y/n~ oh~ oh~ Y/n~” is all he can say most of the time.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character); Dare I say it. You already know that Luffy likes to stretch his dick inside of you. He makes it so long that it knocks on you womb’s gate with every thrust. He also likes to feel your own skin stretch out with a stomach budge when he’s deep inside.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes); Good lord. 7’1 inches soft, 2’3 inches thick. Big and fat juicy balls. Uncut, A dark tan color shaft and a light coral red tip. This man is packing and doesn’t even know it. If he sits manspread you can see his dick print through his shorts while he’s soft. He doesn’t get what the big deal is about, what? Is his size not average?

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?); His sex drive reaches the heavens and stars above. Luffy needs to cum AT LEAST 10 times a day. It’s that bad. Normally he likes to fuck them all out at once in a hour long session, but if he’s low on time or has something going on, quickies will suffice his urge to cum. You can usually tell when he’s about to snap, he’s biting nothing and gripping his thigh so harshly. He’ll just stare at you like “I need you now.” And teleport you and him to the bedroom.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards); “ah~ Luffy I’m cumm-“ “Zzz…” As long as you’ve finished, he’ll fall straight to sleep. As much stamina as he has, once he’s out, he’s out like a light. He won’t even move he’ll just fall asleep on top of you with his dick still inside of you. Look he means well but he’s just so sleepy.

I had tooo much fun writing this! <3 my brain dead king! Zoro and Sanji NSFW alphabets are coming soon!

[darkbluekies]

Like a fly in a trap

Rich!female!yandere x reader

Summary: you escape Hedwig, only to be brought back and learn a secret about her family that puts everything into perspective.

Warnings: alcoholic? Yandere, Stockholm syndrome, abuse(?), isolation etc

Word count: 3.5k

A cold breeze finds its way into your bones. You pull the hood closer over your head, heart hammering in your chest. The sun is barely up. You have to catch the bus before her alarm clock rings. When she notices that you’re gone, all hell will break lose. 

You can’t pinpoint the moment things changed, you just know that at some point, Hedwig wasn’t the loving, caring girlfriend you got together with, but a clingy, possessive psychopath. Of course, she never shows that side to anyone … not even you. But you’ve been listening in on the calls she makes when she thinks you’re not listening. Wanting to hire hitmen and demanding for people to get hurt, even if they’ve only done as little as speak to you. You can’t say when she became like that … scared that she’s been that through your entire relationship … only that you’ve just started to notice. 

You’re not even sure where you’re going. You can’t go home. That’s the first place Hedwig would look. You don’t have anything on you that could be traced. There’s no plan, you just have to get away from Hedwig. 

The bus stops in front of you and you get on. You walk through the empty bus, sitting down in the very back and pull the hood of your hoodie closer to you.

Hedwig opens her eyes when the alarm sounds. She can tell right away that something is wrong. The bed is empty … and cold. Quickly, she sits up and looks around, heart stopping. Where are you? She rips the covers off of her body and runs over to the bathroom. Empty. Her pulse is hammering in her head. She can’t hear anything. Hedwig sinks down in the corridor to avoid fainting or throwing up. At this point, she’s unsure what she’s going to do. Her entire body is shutting down. It’s feels like she’s dying. 

With shaking hands she picks up her phone and call you. A signal rings through the room and she grows even colder. Your phone is on the bedside table. 

“Y/N, no … what”, she gasps in pure horror. “Y/N, don’t do this to me. Oh, God. Oh, my God.”

She presses her hands over her heart. 

“Hedwig, dearest, what is wrong?” she hears her father ask. 

She looks up and watches her father through her blurry vision. He’s standing in his pajamas, worried eyes looking down at her. 

“My dear, what happened?” her father asks again. 

“Y/N … Y/N …”, she hyperventilates.

“Has something happened to them?”

“They’re gone! I want them back! I want them back now!” She screams through her sobs. “I want them back this instant!”

“Sweetheart, sweetheart, don’t cry. Daddy will get them back to you.” He hugs her. “Daddy hates seeing his princess so upset. They will be back, I promise you, my little girl.”’

Hedwig wipes her tears and sobs. 

They go down to the kitchen where her mother has woken up, already with a glass of wine in her hand. 

“My little princess, can you please give your mother and me a smile?” her father begs her. “It will be okay, we will find Y/N again. I have called every person I know who works for the police, private detectives … everyone. I have millions of eyes open.”

Hedwig refuses. She holds her arms over her chest while sitting on a chair. Her mother is sitting beside her, sipping on her red wine while her father is walking back and forth in front of her, stressed out of his mind. When he can’t get Hedwig what she wants, he feels absolutely terrible. 

“We will find them, don’t worry”, her father says. “Daddy will do everything to make you happy.”

Hedwig avoids eye contact. If her fathers contacts can’t find you, then she’ll have to contact hers. None in the family knows about the hitmen she knows — and hires often — and neither does she want them to. Worry is eating her up from the inside. She wants nothing more than to hold you in her arms and kiss every part of your soft, wonderful skin. She wants to run her fingers through your hair and make sure that you know that you’re safe with her. She has never been this worried before. 

“This is the last stop.”

You nod and rise from your seat. Your legs have fallen asleep since long ago and you have no idea where you are. By now, you’re hungry and tired, wishing nothing more than to sleep. Carefully, you look around. Where are you? You’re surrounded by fields, forests and small, small cabins. With a sigh, you sit down by the side of the road, to think before you start going somewhere. You should try to find a payphone, perhaps, to call your family. No, they wouldn’t be able to help you. If Hedwig wouldn’t hire someone to kill them, she would either pay them or manipulate her way to get what she wants. After all, you fell for her little girl act for so long. If only you had seen how unstable and obsessive she really was before you had tangled yourself this far deep into the relationship. By now, it is too late to cut things off. She has nestled her way into your every day life. Wherever you look, Hedwig’s there in some way, shape of form. She has infiltrated your life like a virus. 

You hide your face in your hands. Hedwig’s a fucking spider who has intangled you in her web, slowly draining you of life until she can eat you. What should you do? You can’t go home, can’t talk to anyone you know. If you call the police, she will get away with it. Her family is in the elite class, they always get away with things. 

“Hedwig …”, you whisper frustratedly into your hands. “Why have you done this? Why have you given me this much problem? Why me?”

Your stomach growls and you wrap your arms around your body tightly. You have to find food soon. And after that … shelter. 

Hours go by. You’ve curled up by a tree to get some kind of warmth, but there’s none to be found. Your body temperature is dropping every minute go by. You have nothing to keep you company, apart from the moon. And weirdly enough, it feels like it is pitying you. 

You wake up the following morning by someone trying to catch your attention. An old woman. Your vision is blurry, but you can tell that you’ve never seen her before. 

“Hello, are you okay?” she asks worriedly. “What are you doing out here? You’re freezing!”

You can barely hear what you’re saying, you can’t feel your body. 

“Do you know who you are?” the woman asks. 

You can’t move your body, can’t answer. You’re so cold. 

“Do I need to call someone?” she asks. 

No answer. She picks up her phone and calls the police, telling them that she’s found a person who’s been sleeping outside the entire night, that they’re unresponsive and ice cold. She tells the cops a description of your characteristics. You feel like shutting your eyes again, so tired. 

“No, don’t close your eyes!” she says quickly. “You can die!”

You try to force your eyes to stay open. 

The old woman can’t carry you, so she goes to get you blankets and hot tea. While she forces a warm cup in your hands, you can tell that a white car pulls up on the road in the distance. 

That’s not a cop car. 

“Y/N!” 

The familiar, female voice causes you to drop the mug. Hedwig runs all the way over to you and throws herself at your stone cold body. Her warm face hides into your neck. 

“My God, darling, you’re freezing!” she gasps and cups your icy cheeks with her hands. “My sweetheart, I’ve been so worried!”

The men behind her thank the old lady for calling the cops and you suddenly understand what’s going on. Once again, the elite has taken over the cops. One of the men are Hedwig’s father. You gulp. This is bad. 

The old woman leaves. You want to shout out that they’re not going to help you, that it was this girl’s fault that you endured a night out in the snow for, but you can’t bring yourself to do it, not in in front of Hedwig’s father. 

“It’s okay, Y/N, I’m here now”, she says and tries to warm you up with her hands. “You could have died! I’ll never let this happen again, I promise. I’ll never let you out of my sight again!” 

She removes her expensive coat and scarf and hangs them over your shoulders, wires the scarf around your neck and blows hot air on your hands. She kisses your forehead. Two of the men, you haven’t seen them before, carry your body to the car and place you in the backseat, right next to Hedwig. She tells the chauffeur to bring up the heat to max.

“I’ve been so worried for you, sweetheart”, she says and holds your icy hands between hers while continuing to blow hot air. “Why did you do that? You scared me to death, Y/N!”

“You have given us some problems, young lady/man”, her father says from the front seat. “You’ve made my daughter very upset.”

You can’t respond. There’s something about her father that terrifies you. 

“I don’t ever want to see my little princess upset”, he continues. “I will do everything to make her happy, which means that you need to stay. Do I have to take measures to make sure that you stay with my daughter?”

You gulp and shake your head. Something’s definitely wrong about him.

“I will never let you leave me again”, Hedwig whispers in your ear. “I need you. If i don’t have you … I don’t want to live. Don’t ever try this again. Please.” She seems to realize how she sounds and shakes her head. “Please don't think I want to scare you, I just … I can’t imagine my life without you. I have to keep you with me like this. I know you understand, you’re just cold and tired.”

“You don’t have to drag in your father in your dirty business, Hedwig”, you whisper. “That’s low.”

She brings your cold hands under her shirt, shivering. While you do enjoy the heat, you keep your hands in fists. 

“You’re my everything, I had to do what was necessary, I’m sorry”, Hedwig whispers and sniffles. “No one likes me the way you do. You’re the only real person in this world. Everyone else … they’re fake. You’re so special to me.”

You don’t say anything more to her during the entire car ride. When you come back to her mansion, you’re immediately tucked into bed. Hedwig closes the door to her bedroom after her, locking it.

“Here”, she says and placed a silver tray on the bed. “Soup. The chef made it for you.” She sits down and sighs sadly. “Why did you leave me, sweetheart? What have I done? PLease tell me so I’ll make sure to never do it again. I don’t want to be without you.”

“Stop pretending”, you hiss. “You know very well. Talk to me instead of acting like a defenseless school girl.”

“What?”

“I know what you’ve done. I’ve heard your phone calls at night.”

Hedwig’s face drops and grows multiple shades lighter. At first, she doesn’t say anything. Her hands tremble as she panickedly thinks. 

“O-Oh, Y/N …”, she starts with an unsteady voice. “I never- … I never-”

“Why me, Hedwig?” you ask, not being able to bring your voice above a terrified whisper.

“Because- … because I love you.” 

“You can have anyone you want, you really can … so why me?” 

It is unbelievable. You can’t understand why you are worth killing for. What does she see in you that is that special? You could never have anticipated that someone would end human lives … for you. But then again, is anyone worth killing for?

As the realization of reality sets in, along with your exhausted form, you grow tired. 

 “I’ll have to take precautions from now on”, Hedwig says. “I love you so much, I can never let this happen again.”

“What are you going to do?” you ask coldly. “Send hitmen on me? On my family?”

“No, not you — never you. But …”

“My family, right?”

Hedwig bites her lip before groaning. “I just- … I wish that you never had tried to leave! I don’t want to do these kinds of things! They make me feel so dirty! Fuck, Y/N, why can’t you just … love me again?”

You don't answer. A single tear runs down your cheek. You can't even look at her, which drives her insane. 

“Y/N, please!” she begs and reaches for your hand, but you quickly pull away. “Don't do this to me. I love you. I really, really do!”

She starts to sniffle, then sob. You're amazed that just a little touch deprivation causes her to break down completely, but she expects you to be completely normal when people are getting murdered behind your back — on your behalf?

“I want to go home.”

“I can’t let you go, Y/N. I need you here. I can’t live without you.”

“Let me go home. Now.”

“No, Y/N. You need to stay here. I will make you stay here. If you think that I'm going to let the only one that loves me leave, you're wrong.”

“I don't … love you anymore.”

It looks like someone has punched Hedwig right in her ribs.

“Yes you do”, she says quietly, wishing.

You turn your head away.

“I'll let you be”, she says and slowly stands up. “I love you, Y/N. Please don't think I don't.”

You're forced to sleep beside her all night. You've curled up into a ball and she doesn't try to reach for you, like you had expected … but you can hear her cry. 

She leaves for school, leaving you all alone, but not before reminding you that she has people in the house that won't let you leave the premises. She tells you that you can go down to the kitchen to get yourself something to eat, but you wait in her room, as a silent protest, for as long as you can manage. When your stomach physically hurts, you sigh in defeat and walk downstairs.

Someone's sitting by the kitchen aisle. A blonde woman who twirls a wine glass slowly. Her eyes are empty, but her appearance is that of a goddess. You recognize her, first as the popular actress you used to watch, and as Hedwig's mother second. You're about to turn around and walk out when her voice stops you.

“Stay.” Her voice is low, almost strained.

You turn back and take a few, slow steps into the marble kitchen. The woman doesn't look up from her twirling, red wine.

“I heard that she found you”, she says and sighs.

You nod carefully. 

“They're very alike, you know”, she says, glancing at you, “her and her father.”

“They are?” you ask.

“Yes. Unfortunately.” She nods at the chair in front of her. “Sit down.”

Just like Hedwig’s father, her mother had something in her voice that you don't dare disobey. You sit down, still not being able to look at her.

“Do you know who I am, Y/N?” she asks, sounding like she doesn't expect much.

“I do, ma'am”, you answer. “I used to watch your movies a lot when I was younger. You were awesome.”

Hedwig’s mother smiles slightly, a genuine, warm smile.

“That makes me happy”, she says softly. “Thank you, Y/N. I was scared to have been forgotten.”

“What? No, never. You're an icon. I wish you still did movies.”

“Me too.”

“Why don't you?”

Her smile thins out. “Hedwig’s father … he's … well, let's just say he rather wants me here.” And she adds on, sour grimace on her face: “Where it is safe.”

“That sounds like what-”

“-Hedwig would say, yes. I told you … they're very alike.”

A light turns on in your head.

“Did he … did he take you, too?” you ask, carefully.

“Take and take, not exactly.” Her mother seems to think and the dull look in her eyes returns. “If only it was that quick and direct. He nestled his way into my life, infiltrating every part. First, he wanted to invite me on a date, then help with auditions, then he wanted to be my manager, then director, then boyfriend. He had control of every work related issue … always making sure I never worked intimate with any men, turning down things I really wanted to do … isolating me from my costars. When we married, he wanted me to quit all together, and wanted me to stay home with the child I was pregnant with.”

“Hedwig?”

“Yes.”

“When I was pregnant, I was wishing that she wouldn't inherit that side of her father. I hoped and prayed. But she did. I'm sorry, Y/N.”

“I'm sorry that happened to you.”

The woman gives a weak smile. “Don't be. It's happening to you now, be sorry for yourself. I'm hoping in telling you this, that you somehow can get away before it's too late.”

“Can't you … leave?”

She shakes her head. “It's too late for me.”

“No, it's not. You're still beautiful, Hollywood would love to have you back.”

“Thank you, you're very kind, Y/N. But it's not that easy. He controls more than you can ever imagine. He has made sure to be part of the industry so that I can never return.”

You gesticulate with you hands. “Then … do something else! Prove to him that he can't own you.”

“I envy your enthusiasm. But it wouldn't work, he would get into that too and sabotage for me again.”

“Why does he ruin for you? Doesn't he love you?”

“He does. He just wants me for himself.” She sighs. “I don't know how Hedwig would behave with you, if she would let you work-”

“I don't think so. She has talked about letting me stay home with her so that I could spend time on my hobbies and her taking care of our children.”

“I was afraid of that.” She stands up and downs the last of her red wine. “One thing I'm happy about, is that Hedwig has inherited her father's ability to love. They love too much, I think. And that affects the people around them. If you can't leave, Y/N, I'd advise you to play along. Life is not bad here … as long as you don't try to leave. I promise you that.”

Before she can leave the kitchen, you have to ask her one final question.

“Excuse me, ma'am”, you say and watch how she gives you a look. “Did … did he ever kill for you?”

She doesn't answer.

When Hedwig returns that afternoon, she has a big basket in her hands, and a bouquet of roses.

“Please forgive me for everything I've done”, she whispers and places them both in front of you before sinking down on her knees. “I'm so sorry.”

The basket is filled with your favorite snacks, a few boxes of jewelry and a designer scarf.

“I did what I thought would solve the problem”, she whispers, shaking her head regretfully. “I wanted the people that hurt you yo get what they deserved. I don't have a good explanation for the people that … didn't do anything. I just couldn't bare to see you interact with someone that wasn't me.”

“You're a stupid girl, Hedwig”, you say coldly.

“Yes, yes I am”, she sniffles. “I'm an idiot. Please forgive me.”

You thought back on what her mother had said about how life wasn't bad if you actually did what Hedwig wanted. You looked at her. She really did look like an innocent school girl, sitting on her knees in her school uniform with her hands clasped together, begging for forgiveness with tears streaming down her face. You start to feel bad for her. She is an only child to a pair of parents who went through a weird, macabre relationship. Of course she would want someone to love her and stay with her forever. You have feelings for her, you can't kill them, even if you really want to. Maybe this was what her mother felt, that she really loved Hedwig’s father that much, that she couldn't leave him … and because she knew that he would never let her leave. 

If you stay, people won't get hurt. And maybe, just maybe, you can change her. 

“I … I forgive you …”