#paladin humor

[wearepaladin]

Credit to @microsff for the original post.

[valeriapaladin]

Me playing Dark Souls 2

Late knight gaming session 💻

[literary-claustrophobia]

What people think DnD is like:

What it's actually like:

[dreadpiratesilas]

Sense of Humor

At first glance, Danse comes off as all business and fairly humorless. Being in charge of others in life or death situations is something he takes seriously and consequently he doesn't allow himself the luxury of humor. He feels like he has to be a professional at all times. In the instances where he does indulge in any kind of humor, it comes off as very bland and not quite a joke, for example:

(From the third affinity conversation with him about Haylen)

“I signed up to be your sponsor so I teach you everything that I know, but it looks I'm the one that needed the lesson today.

All joking aside, I'm pleased that we had this discussion and with all the problems you're facing, you still took the time to listen.”

It's stuff like this that gives him the reputation of being a serious person who doesn't make jokes. He internalizes this and believes it himself. That's just his humor such as it is.

He also hasn't had a real friend in years by the time the Sole Survivor meets him. For those who are truly close to him, they get to see his real sense of humor which can actually be very dark.

In his affinity dialogues, there's one time he actually laughs and it's during the second one about Cutler. After he tells the story and mentions how having a bond with someone and losing them changes you and he doesn't want to go through that again, you can select the sarcastic dialogue option which is:

“Well, there goes my dream of being reborn as a Super Mutant.”

He gives a low chuckle and rolls with it. He just opened up and told you about what was probably the most traumatic event of his life and he gets hit with that and laughs.

Given his long career as a soldier, it would make sense. People with traumatizing jobs (such as soldiers and first responders) tend to develop a sort of gallows sense of humor to cope with some some of the rougher aspects of their job.

I'm reminded of a story about British soldiers in WWI digging a trench and had to pass all of the dirt down a line to make room. They kept finding pieces of human remains from bodies just being blown to bits and would pass it down the line shouting things like “Bit of Bill!” “Another bit of Bill!” One of them dug up a severed head shouting “Bill's ugly mug!”

For Danse, it was more prevalent in his days as a knight. He rarely made the jokes, instead he just listened to his teammates recount amusing anecdotes of gore and laughed. In the rare instance he'd let his guard down enough to utter a joke himself, it was hysterically funny and horribly fucked up at the same time. After all, Danse had been in the Brotherhood for a long time. Longer than most of them. He'd seen some shit.

As he moved into positions of leadership, those moments happened less and less. When he was promoted to Paladin, the only one who was privy to it was Cutler. He took his conduct seriously. He represented the Brotherhood! The other high ranking members of the Prydwen didn't make those kinds of jokes (he, of course, was the only one consistently out in the field).

Members of Gladius would make those kinds of jokes, usually after a fire fight against feral ghouls or super mutants. Danse had wanted to laugh. It just didn't feel appropriate. Then as he lost each member of Gladius, there were less jokes until they just stopped completely.

So when he's finally getting comfortable enough to allow himself to be vulnerable in front of the Sole Survivor and they respond with a joke about being reborn as a super mutant, he stops in his tracks and actually laughs for the first time in what felt like years.

[selkienight60]

Anime Recommendations

So, I initially put this anime recommendation list together for @elegitre as she recently acquired a Crunchyroll subscription, but since then I've been asked again for my anime recs, so I figured I would put the whole thing up on Tumblr. (Ranked in order of Selkie's personal re-watchability, but I 100% recommend all of these, no questions about it!) I've also not included old favourites like Ouran High School Host Club, or any long-running anime like Naruto or Bleach. This is a list of the "seasonal" anime, so to speak. And, of course, if you've watched and enjoyed any of these, please let me know, along with any other recommendations you might have. Please enjoy!

∘₊✧── 🌸 ──✧₊∘🌸∘₊✧── 🌸 ──✧₊∘

ADVENTURE ANIME:

Zenshuu. (Zenshu)

Ore dake Level Up na Ken (Solo Leveling)

Tsuki ga Michibiku Isekai Douchuu (Tsukimichi -Moonlit Fantasy-)

Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari (The Rising of the Shield Hero)

Fumetsu no Anata e (To Your Eternity)

Dungeon Meshi (Delicious in Dungeon)

Sousou no Frieren (Frieren: Beyond Journey's End)

Honzuki no Gekokujou: Shisho ni Naru Tame ni wa Shudan wo Erandeiraremasen (Ascendence of a Bookworm)

Nozomanu Fushi no Boukensha (The Unwanted Undead Adventurer)

Saihate no Paladin (The Faraway Paladin)

Tensei shitara Ken deshita (Reincarnated as a Sword)

ROMANCE ANIME:

Kusuriya no Hitorigoto (The Apothecary Diaries)

Watashi no Shiawase na Kekkon (My Happy Marriage)

Tsundere Akuyaku Reijou Liselotte to Jikkyou no Endou-kun to Kaisetsu no Kobayashi-san (Endo and Kobayashi Live! The Latest on Tsundere Villainess Lieselotte)

Mahoutsukai no Yome (The Ancient Magus' Bride)

Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika Nai Akuyaku Reijou ni Tensei shiteshimatta... (My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!)

Seijo no Maryoku wa Bannou desu (The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent)

Akuyaku Reijou nanode Last Boss wo Kattemimashita (I'm the Villainess, So I'm Taming the Final Boss)

Hananoi-kun to Koi no Yamai (A Condition Called Love)

Ojou to Banken-kun (A Girl & Her Guard Dog)

HUMOUR & MISCELLANEOUS ANIME:

Romantic Killer

Spy x Family

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun (Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun)

Mieruko-chan

Goukon ni Ittara Onna ga Inakatta Hanashi (How I Attended an All-Guy's Mixer)

∘₊✧── 🌸 ──✧₊∘🌸∘₊✧── 🌸 ──✧₊∘

[infjpaladin]

It kinda hit me last night, Mr. Darcy is all grumpy and "taciturn" at the ball with all that people and noises and conversations around, but all my man wanted was some headphones, they just weren't invented yet.

Look how happy he gets. Now I can't stop thinking about it! Lol

[bameme]

Why are Bards known as the sluts of D&D when Paladins:

- are also charisma-based casters

- are literal "knights in shining armour", which has to draw at least as many admirers as "I'm in a band".

- aren't required to be celibate. Even a lawful good alignment doesn't stop you from having one-night stands provided you're not cheating on or deceiving your partners.

- get protection from disease at third level

[modeus-the-misanthrope]

Stupid Concept.

A paladin that is a negative -12 IQ level jock. All Charisma and Strength, no Intelligence.

They use "Lay on hands" to heal their teammates after a battle, via slapping everyone on the ass while saying "Good game, Good game, Good game..." like a baseball player.

[raisondetriment]

You should be fine. We're all used to paladins dumping INT. /j

And here are the brackets! Matches are randomized with a list randomizer, so I apologize for any weird or unfair matches. This is a single elimination bracket, with round 1 having 32 matches, round 2 having 16, and so on until the last match is between the winners of each side.

I'm working on making the polls right now, I'll try to have them up within the next few days, first the polls for side A then the polls for side B.

[a2zillustrations]

Lia visits Corbin in his workshop for the afternoon

[wearepaladin]

Paladin Problem #11

Eldritch Cultist: WITNESS THE APATHY OF THE UNIVERSE YOU CARE SO MUCH FOR! Cultist unleashes a vision of horrific cosmic indifference:

Paladin:

Paladin: Was that supposed to do something? I mean, sure it's upsetting, but.

Eldritch Cultist: WHy aren't you insane? Gone blind from the horror? Turned into tentacle slurry? Something!?

Paladin: I and the Ideals and Powers I serve are the engine and the hands thought which the cosmos shows it cares. So long as there is just one of me, then you have lost.

Paladin: So now that we're done wasting time.

SMITE

Paladin: Fudge, I've got calamari all over my tabard

[wench-on-a-bench]

"Lance summoned his Bayard.

Aim. Breathe. Shoot.

The resounding shot echoed in his ears. Except it wasn’t from his gun.

Lance’s legs gave out before he even realized what’d happened. He’d been shot. Square in his right ass cheek."

...

Lance McClain, Blue Paladin and Red Lion Pilot, has survived many trials out in space: Strenuous battles, relentless pining over Keith Kogane, being shot in truly embarrassing places ... but when he ends up on a solo mission it may prove to be his hardest challenge yet. Especially since he's stuck on a planet that doesn't even like Voltron. But it can't be any harder than trying to reconnect with Keith (who's been extra closed off since his returned from the Quantum Abyss), can it?

What results is many laughs ... and many tears.

[johbeil]

Wer ist Paladin Kuh?

1. Schreibfehler, passt nicht zusammen, ergibt keinen Sinn. 2. Timurischer General, lebte im 14. Jahrhundert, ist bekannt für seinen Sieg über die Taldschiken. 3. Ein von Microsoft erfundener Name für einen Spieler der X-Box. 4. Laut KI ist ein Paladin ein Paladin, während eine Kuh ein gezähmter milchspendender Wiederkäuer ist. – Cora Ebenezar (© 2023) (50 Wörter)

[literary-claustrophobia]

[greymouse42]

working on replying to previous adventures, but have some silliness while you wait

12, 32, and 39 for Mal

and 1 for Hemlock - what are we tossing from bg3 because they're your blorbo and you can make the rules.

Welcome to "mouse answers silly questions," where every question apparently has strikethrough bonus content.

12. Crack headcanon

If Jan weren't right in front of him, he'd also be on Team “Would tap Myles without a second thought.” actually I don't think this is even a hot take, lol. I can do better:

Alana Lyons, his detective partner, is engaged in constant, brutal, and quiet office warfare at all times to fend off all the young single ladies in the LAPD and court system, because Malachi by some genetic stroke of luck has the George of the Jungle(1997) effect on women until the moment he opens his mouth. Whenever he pisses her off, Lyons lets one through her blockade and Mal loses a half a day of work.

(In the post-breakup 2013-2015 span of time, sometimes he didn't open his mouth fast enough and he'd get strong-armed into going on a date. The mornings after those were usually the highlight of Lyons' week.)

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

Poorly-timed, deadpanned Dad-jokes. The worse the timing and caliber of joke, the better. The deadpan-straight delivery is also very important to get an actual laugh out of him.

Successfully bluescreening Jan.

39. Favorite game

Boring answer? Coup. (RIP Mal you would've loved Among Us with the Knockoff Mystery Gang)

Fun answer: “Look at me.”

1. Canon I outright reject (Hemlock)

BG3 only has 3 options for Paladin Oaths (Devotion/Ancients/Vengeance) and while I think that's perfectly reasonable for a video game, none of those really fit Hem.

I think they were always destined to break their Oath around when they did (end of Act 1) regardless of what the Oath actually was, but if I had complete control over canon, they'd be an Oath of Redemption paladin (with the oathbreaking violations being Innocence & Patience) rather than Oath of Devotion.

[empressgeekt]

What would their doppelgangers be like in your VLD multiverse fic? And how will they interact with the main characters?

like I mentioned in the post the three major arches would be going to the VF universe, the 80s universe, and the paladins of old. I'll be basing the doppelgangers on how the characters are portrayed in the other cartoons, for the first two arches, with a few extra-headcanons thrown in (like keiths always have some form of a troubled family/home life, and all hunks love food). Currently my plans include, Lance and hunk getting swapped out with their doubles from the VF world along with larmina and Daniel, and the full team voltron getting trappedin the 80s world.

The VF universe is canonically further ahead in the future compared to the rest of the continuities, so the paladins(or pilots as thee called in that reality) have a lot more experience with war. The VF team is kinda shocked that the VLD are so young, like they are baby pilots to them, buy impressed with how well they work together. On mire personal interactions, larmina is kinda of confused by this elf version of he aunt allura; keith tries to be a good role model for Daniel and everyone is confused about his galra heritage, especially when krolia shows up; the perky coran coran the gorgeous man is baffling when compared to his more serious counterparts; and I'm pretty sure the ex-generals would totally take in larmina as their pseudo-niece once they got to know her. On the other side of the portal, Lance is sort of shocked that VF allura and Keith are married; everyone is weirded out by pidge being a literal dude; and Vince is finally getting some answers regarding his gift. Once more serious coran.

80s arch, well be getting more one on one dobbleganger interaction. The alluras bond over mice. Hunks bond over food. Keiths relate over family issues. Both keith and Lance are confused as they kinda swapped personalities in their reality. Pidge is too focused on getting the group back to their home world to bond with her doppelganger, she is also fighting tooth and nail against tbe blantent sexism in thia reality. We're even getting some lotor on lotor interaction, and storming castle doom. And serious coran...

There aren't dobblegangers int the third arch, as it's a crossove with a reality that is really similar to VLD just behind in its timeline.