#our religious queer experience

[our-religious-queer-experience]

I just wanted to say that finding your blog means a lot to me. I’ve been struggling with my identity as a queer religious person and your blog celebrating queer religious people is so awesome. Thank you so much!

Hello! I'm really, really sorry for not responding to this earlier. I was having a lot of conflicting thoughts and struggles regarding my identity and religion, so I started to neglect this blog for a while. I know it seems strange. But I'm getting better, I just wanted to explain why I didn't use this blog for some time.

Im really happy more queer religious folks feel accepted and celebrated here. Truthfully it's what this blog is all about. I made it right after i broke out of a really bad place. I really wanted and needed to spread some positivity for queer religious people, since all the time it seems like people form both our religion and the queer community doesn't think we belong with them. But that's not true.

You're not a contradiction. You don't have to choose sides. You don't have to live a life of self hatred and resentment. You're wonderful and strong and deserve kindness like everyone else. You are not a sin, and neither are you a perpetuator of discrimination. You are you. Deserving of love !!!

[our-arospec-experience]

Be me

Growing up Mormon

The goal of the religion is to get married and live good so you can be married FOREVER and go to Disney super-heaven and live happily ever after

Sounds boring. And kinda terrifying

Parents divorce when I'm 8-13 (it was messy af)

Religious abuse + patriarchy turns me off to Mormonism

Come back after years of feeling lost and "its not really Like That"

Get in relationship, full of overblown and exhausting emotions and not taking care of myself

Because thats how romance works, right?

Be normal

Get married

Have a kid

Oh shit, its really Like That.

Get the fuck out of there (marriage and church)

Get the hardcore amatonormativity deprogrammed out of me

Expanding my world and perspective

Living happily ever after as an alloaro single mom

Way better than eternal marriage superheaven

I’m so glad it worked out alright!!!

[enbetweeen]

Your humanity is heavenly

[grey-sorcery]

New to witchcraft? Awesome! Here's some things you should pursue.

An understanding of sympathetic magic: Correspondences, their metaphysical and theoretical framework, and their derivation.

Magical systems that incorporate the entire gender spectrum.

Energy work that isn't based on visualization.

The means of manifestation: How, where, and when spells affect physical change. The physical mechanisms through which witchcraft manifests beyond just willpower/intent/wishes/etc.

The history and subsequent influences of, and on, popular contemporary practices like Hermeticism, "Ceremonial Magick"/Golden Dawn, Wicca, and New Age/New Thought/LOA/Reiki.

How to approach and practice magic with critical thinking skills.

Influence of consumerism on contemporary practices.

Divination as systems: all methods of divination beyond tarot, their statistical applications, and their different methods of use.

The anthropology of medieval Arabia, Europe, Near East, and Asia relative to the magical or occult publications of the era. What is purely religious, parareligious, or syncretist and what does that mean for the interpretation of the text?

The genuine limits of our knowledge of the ancient world, what's possible for us to know and what can't we know?

Conversations with practitioners of closed or semi-closed practices and perspectives of POC when it comes to what the western world would label as "witchcraft".

The differences and similarities between superstition and the practice of witchcraft.

An understanding of the influence of colonialism on modern witchcraft and the language used to discuss magic.

Critical Race Theory (CRT), Queer Theory, and systems of oppression.

Botany and herbology: An understanding of the physical and medical properties of plants.

Building a personal lexicon for modern and/or colloquial terms used in and by the witchcraft community to describe and discuss practices.

Spell design: What makes a spell a spell? What is the smallest or slightest action that can be considered a spell and why? What are the most important and influential elements of the design and application of a spell?

Altars: Their use, design, and potential; whether or not an altar would benefit your practice or goals for practice.

A critical approach to spirit work and astral projection, being able to discern between personal narratives and probable experiences.

A safe and solid community to become a part of. One that does not allow the influence of personal narratives (Without addressing them as such), doesn't allow for the mixing of adults and minors, and with established and enforced logical and reasonable rules.

Collect and cross-reference correspondences from as many sources as possible, then start to create your own.

Try to find a STEM subject that interests you and study it through any non-dogmatic avenues available to you.

The items highlighted in blue are things I highly recommend!

Here is a list of things to avoid.

This is, of course, not an end-all-be-all list of possible responsible and healthy pursuits.

You can learn more about me, find my master-post, check out my Patreon, and suggest content here.

[shirecorn]

ik you meant it as a trans metaphor but that comic also speaks to a lot of intersrx experiences so i am waving at you from across the aisle in solidarity

(Monsters)

I like to make my comics really open-ended so they resonate with lots of people, both in and outside of the queer experience.

Having part of you chopped apart every time you raise your head could be about being queer, or intersex, or disabled, or neurodivergent, or religious, or just having a personality.

My family was ridiculously abusive, but very little of it had to do with my gender conformation because they were too busy crushing me for speaking up, having emotions, being sick, and exhibiting trauma.

I didn't realize I was trans until years after I moved out, got a lot of therapy, and was no longer fighting to survive. So in a way, the comic isn't even about being trans, it's just about being different.

My mom L I T E R A L LY cut the horns off our unicorn toys because anything "magic" was "evil." So for those toys it was divergence from religion. She had no reason to worry about gender from her perfect little girls. Gay and trans sin was something that happened to OTHER people.

I became myself after I was no longer under constant abuse. I didn't even know what was missing, before. The other mythical creatures represent experiences that much of the world says shouldn't exist. That they say are evil. Some of them had their horns and wings cut off, others were fostered and loved as they were.

But being yourself? That grows back. You are always growing, always becoming more you, and there is no intervention, surgery, or therapy that can change that. You may come out the other side damaged, but you will make it out.

And you'll find others who went through things. Not the same things, because all our stories are different, but there will be elements to relate to. There will be stories we share. There will be a future we build together.

[dancermk]

I’m a little disappointed to see so much discourse, fandom competitiveness, and plain arguing going around at the moment in regards to queer film/TV. People complaining about too much sex, not enough sex, too cheesy, made for the hets, too happy, too sad, too realistic, too unrealistic, and a million other petty issues. I, for one, am a queer person in my 50s and I grew up with practically zero representation! Yes, we want to continue onwards and upwards with quality and varied shows BUT let’s be HAPPY we now have representation! Like, actual shows where the central characters are queer, not just a side character who gets f*cking murdered! There is room for all different types of representation - so enjoy the types you like, and let others enjoy what they like.

And on a side note: progress is progress and film/tv is a business that has to turn a profit! If some queer content is made to appeal to the straight community, and will also act as a means of reducing homophobia and increasing understanding, then that’s a good thing. That means in the future more and more content will include queer stories and representation. If only 10% (ish) of the population is the maximum target audience then shows won’t keep getting made!

There is a huge backlash all over the world right now - a “push back” by conservatives and religious groups that want to wind back the clock, and specifically the last decade of advances.

So stick together queers and LGBTQIA+ allies.

I’m super happy knowing I don’t have to wait years between content anymore. And I’ve loved all different types of shows over the last 5 years, for lots of different reasons!

Interview with the Vampire - is giving me the toxic, passionate gothic love affair I’ve always wanted. And addressing interracial relationships.

Heartstopper - is filling me up with pure joy and hopefulness for the future.

Shameless - gave me Ian and Mickey - unique, anti stereotypical gays with a tragic yet ultimately beautiful love story spanning 11 years

Lone Star 911 - is giving me TK and Carlos whose sexuality barely factors into the storyline! Yay!

Looking - gave me an authentic queer experience and an intoxicating love triangle.

Red, white and Royal Blue - gave me a sweet, cute romcom that allowed reality to be sidelined. Fun escapism!

Young Royals - had me captivated by first love and intense angst.

Fire Island - an underrated romcom that made me laugh so hard I cried.

Sex education - shoved the realities of sex in our faces and provided me with laughter and drama and a range of queer identities.

Gentlemen Jack -gave me historical lesbians with spectacular wit, and feminine power.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg- because there’s SO SO SO many more shows I could mention! Don’t at me because I didn’t mention YOUR favourite. This is my point! There is SO much great content it would take all day for me to include everything. This is just a sample - and that’s f*cking brilliant!!

So maybe we could all start posting/tweeting etc about what WE DO LIKE / LOVE / MAKES US FEEL LOVED AND SEEN and put down the device if we’ve got nothing nice to say.

Sending everyone a love filled week! 💜

[queerorthodoxy]

I love queer religious people, the world needs our perspective and experiences. The world needs you.

[cassiusfen]

This isn't my art, (it's made by @ TheHearthFox over on Twitter) but I wanted to make a long post about why this work in particular speaks to me so goddamn much. I think such a massive part of the queer experience -- and also the furry experience -- is about the abstract. This can be seen in so many different aspects of furry "culture," from the concept of fursonas to kink and and other fetish content. You and I will never know what it's like to be a werewolf and transform under the full moon into the form of a big hulking furry beast. However, us furries create art and other works about the idea of it anyway. We never will be able to be our fursonas -- our often idealized and "perfect" versions of ourselves -- and part of that really hurts. It hurts so bad honestly, to the point where I can't quite put it into words. In terms of queer culture, I will never know what it is like to be a cis woman, and that also messes with me a lot. Yet, I'm still trans, my identity can change, I can perceive myself as whatever I damn well please. Identity allows you to shape yourself and the world around you in your own image, even if not everyone can see its beauty.

We have ways to get at least somewhat close to how we feel in our abstraction. VRChat allows you to make an avatar of what ever you want, whether it's your fursona or just an ideal version of you. Hell, it doesn't even have to be you, it could be anyone or anything really. We have a whole industry based around creating big ass costumes that allow people to at least look something like their desired character. But it's not enough. It's never enough. I ain't religious, but sometimes I feel like I've bitten the apple, been kicked out of the garden, and now I'm left to fend for myself with an identity that my physicality will never match. When I made my fursona using an avatar base in vrchat and configured it to match my real world body scales and looked down, I honestly started crying. I take the headset off, and I'm still me. Everyone takes the headset or fursuit off and they're still the body they were given, not what they would choose. Our reality is objective, and there's no way to really change that. We can act like animal people online all day, but the moment that screen shuts off, the moment we walk away, that warm, fuzzy feeling (hehe) fades.

To think abstract is to think beyond what you can normally sense. You will never get to brush the knots out of your fur in the morning, or play with your antennae while anxious (I see you bug people). We can still have those ideas, however. I know I'm on the third goddamn paragraph and I'm just now talking about the artwork I linked but this is an important concept to me. Usually, when I think of the abstract, it feels unreal, "fuzzy" so to speak. However, in HearthFox's piece, the objective reality appears out of focus and pixelated. It feels like even if we are unable to fully embrace the abstract, we can still embrace what we can of it, and bring some sort of color to a world that doesn't feel like it is made for us. The colors being outside of the lines could suggest that our abstract perception is maybe just "painted on" to the world around us, but is that a bad thing? Is it bad to take things in from the world around you, but still look at it all in your own unique way? I think not. This also isn't only about therian identity, or furry identity, or even queer identity -- it's also about neurodivergence. You are never in the wrong for thinking about the world in a way that is viewed as "non-standard" by the rest of the world. If you see yourself as a wolf, bee, fox, bear, raccoon, a fucking plane, it's not a bad thing. We can still identify however we want, and this modern way of looking at identity is the best way for us to embrace the abstract.

Go wild, go fucking stupid. Love yourself, if you're a fox, be a fox, there are ways you can feel that way, even if it's not all of the time. We can fight, we can love, we can still find ways to elation, even if sometimes existence itself feels wrong to you. This work is but one side of abstract thinking. Look at the color the fox has compared to the objective. Look how the fur drapes, how it runs down the body, or how the snout expresses emotion. Sometimes it feels melancholic, but you cannot tell me that trying your absolute damnedest to live your identity doesn't at least bring some color to your otherwise dreary and unfocused world.

Stay safe, love yourself no matter what.

[tmmyhug]

rant incoming abt something i’ve observed for a while

i (american) feel like we need better traditions. so many young and queer people in my experience are completely disillusioned with most of our (western) holidays either because they’re related to religion and that’s awkward for many people or because they’ve become Capitalism Lite or both. it’s hard to really enjoy a holiday when it’s overshadowed by the uncomfortable truths behind all of it.

like, christmas is nice because you get time off but it’s a constant reminder that we live in an extremely christian society that chafes at even the idea of other religions trying to exist (happy holidays vs merry christmas drama). non-christian religious holidays get like zero acknowledgement from wider society. no time off work or school, no decor in stores, etc. thanksgiving is nice bc you get to eat good food, but it’s based on colonial bs. valentine’s day is nice in theory but also an inescapable reminder that our society sees you as sad and lonely if you’re not in a relationship and if you’re not willing to spend lots of money on a partner. then theres smaller ones like labor day which is important but hard to enjoy when you’re reminded of how hard we have to fight for even an inch of appreciation or rest for workers in the us. most of the other minor holidays are subsumed by neverending consumerism and advertisement, such as mothers/father’s day.

and tell me if i’m just projecting here. but there are so few actual holidays that we can enjoy that i think it accelerates the homogenization of the seasons w global warming and the isolation and lack of community everyone is struggling with.

this is part of my theory as to why halloween is so incredibly popular with gen z - it’s doesn’t come with religious or historical baggage, doesn’t force people to spend time with families they don’t like or shame people for not fitting into nuclear family structures, isn’t based largely around buying gifts/spending money, and is an important marker in the season of fall. also this is part of why i think we latch on to stupid little anniversaries ie. neil banging out the tunes. it’s lighthearted and silly and is a grounding landmark for the passage of time and it brings us together to have fun.

all this to say we should really promote more holidays that are just. for fun. or for the passage of time. summer solstice. moon landing day. new years does fall into this category. pi day. star wars day. april fools. i really feel like we should be emphasizing and celebrating these unofficial holidays!! bringing people together and hanging out w friends or going out somewhere specific or making specific foods or something. just a regular tradition that we can rely on. yk? it’s so important

[myobsessionsspace]

maybe a tough question but hypothetically, do you think it would be the end of BTS if Jungkook and jimin ever came out as a couple?

Hypothetically speaking.

For some reason I don’t think the majority of the fandom would be accepting, sadly. 

What are your thoughts? Again, hypothetically. I really doubt they ever would. 

the travel show almost feels like a cushion? If that’s the right way to put it. Like it’s them saying, we’re close. And if upon our release from MS, you catch us out and about together or closer than ever, well, we served together, we travelled together, we are simply close.

a cover. Of sorts.

thoughts?

Hi Lovely,

If it’s ok I’d like to talk about coming out first before I talk about the hypothetical in relation to Jikook.

Coming Out

As a member of the community myself I can only speak for my own experiences, own up to my lack of experiences, refer to what I’ve learnt from others and resources and it still wouldn’t be enough. Because identity, orientation, expression etc is totally individual. Sometimes it’s constantly evolving and sometimes due to situations left dormant or stifled.

Sexual orientation for some people is not a one and done. There are many people I know that have come out with one label then have come out later one with another, then another.

I say all that to say one of the key focuses in coming out is to label yourself unambiguously.

This originally was meant to be for the person in question only.

This was meant to be so the person in question could live in their full authentic truth, to no longer have to deal with societal pressures and expectations.

To understand themselves and to have people understand them. To find a community, to be embraced and loved.

Coming out was meant to feel LIBERATING to the person in question, freeing, coming out of a box, a closet if you will.

Sadly that’s not always the case for everyone.

Sometimes it’s because of the environments they are in, that doesn’t allow for them to be fully embraced, to have that fearless freedom, to have that community. Sometimes it’s just not safe.

Not safe due to the emotional anguish that may be inflicted on the person by those closest to them, those in their everyday environment, those in their wider environment.

It may have physical safety repercussions, financial repercussions, familial and social repercussions, religious conflicts etc.

It may just not be safe because the person in question is not ready to deal with the psychological and emotional effects that may ensue after they coming out because we live in a world where the majority oppress the minority, and being queer is a minority.

No matter how progressive people may view the world to be, through the lense of the internet, in the human body, physically dealing with everything that comes with labelling yourself is a big deal.

On the flip side there are those that are fortunate that they don’t even have to come out. Or any fears aren’t actualised because they’re blessed.

There are people that have never been taught to be fearful of learning themselves, expressing themselves.

They’ve never been taught to view people and their differences in any negative way. They’ve been taught they are in a safe and loved environment that no matter what they do, how they live or who they do or don’t love

They are and will still be loved and have a place.

There are some people that when they do come out their family and or friends would be like ‘oh honey, why are you being formal about it, even the cat knew’

Even with people that have all of the above they may come out to every Tom, Dick and Harry they meet, they may come out to a select few or they might not come out at all.

Because essentially coming out is the person in questions choice. It’s their privilege, it’s their right. It’s theirs.

It’s not the requirement so others around them feel better. It’s not a job requirement, a legal requirement any requirement at all. It’s not a must to prove you’re actually queer. If someone never comes out in their whole life it doesn’t negate their queerness.

Labelling oneself is not for others. It’s for the person.

For them to define themselves if they so wish to, for them to understand themselves, to learn themselves, to appreciate and love themselves.

To find others like them, to cut down time explaining to others if they so wish to about their preferences, expression, identity and so on.

Ok so with that out of the way

Jikook

- No I don’t think the show is them coming out

- Yes I think the show is to show what we already know and what is one hard fact, that Jikook are best friends and closer than close

- Yes, I’m hoping that it helps those that do know of them and don’t, to accept their closeness as not just co-workers in a group but as a very close duo within the group

- Yes I agree with you, the fandom as a whole, if they were to undeniably be known as a romantic non-heterosexual couple, wouldn’t fully embrace them how we would believe in 2024.

Sadly one of the things that comes along with boy bands is the fan girl in varying forms. The fan girl that no matter their proximity to the boy band member, their relationship status, their age, whatever, the fan girl puts their wants, beliefs and ideals onto them. They idolise their idol. Sadly the majority boy band fans and BTS’ fans idolise them, fantasise about them. Be it with themselves or a stand in they deem suitable, a woman.

Because heteronormativity is so rooted in their thinking, they can’t see their idols as anything but. What else could they do but be successful then have the wife, kids, pets and picket fence? If not that then the idol will remain the bad boy lothario of their fantasies even grey haired and weak backed.

For too many people in the world and too many in the fandom being gay first and foremost is seen as defective. To believe that about their idol would be ‘wrong’ in their eyes. If it was to be proven true it would cause an array of negative emotions, thoughts and actions. The most tame being to leave the fandom.

I’m a very pessimistic person, though I need and seek for positivity. Thats that’s chronic that anxiety & depression baby✨

I have grown up and am surrounded by a culture similar to the SK conservative culture when it comes to nearly everything, gender roles, sexuality etc. I am a minority from a culture that legally, religiously and socially oppresses queer people. I can without the Korean male element wholeheartedly understand being closeted in SK.

I can’t however understand being a celebrity of any kind, let alone a celebrity of their magnitude.

Jikook & Labelling

We have no clue. From context clues we can assume Jimin to be bisexual, but from nothing directly and explicitly verbalised by him. Through his art, many have drawn this conclusion. There are other assumptions that have been made by some to do with his gender expression and identity. He has only ever referred to himself as a 남자 [man] any and everytime in public. Yes we have evidence of him bucking masculine stereotypes and my understanding of him is that he’s growing and defining HIS understanding of what it is to be a man and it’s not what the society he’s grown up in deems it to be. I have my own views on Jungkook and his orientation *100% mlm gay*

However not everyone feels the need to label themselves or chooses to and we have no idea when it comes to Jikook, only assumptions. So Jikook may not feel the need to come out because they may not label themselves and feel the need to make that public knowledge through official statements, interviews, on tv etc.

I can’t see this ever being Jikook, just my opinion 🙈

Like you anon I believe they’ll just keep Jikooking. I don’t believe they would if they wanted to ever come out in a public official statement type of way, they’d just live their lives and let people think whatever they wanted to think.

And if they ever did, it’d most likely be when Bangtan are no longer continuously active, seeing as they want to perform on cruises etc in their 60s, who knows when that’ll ever be.

There are some of my friends that think the same as me and some that think they’ll totally come out in a big way one day and not decades and decades in the future.

If you were able to get to the end of this you’re a real one🙌💪

A topic like this is something that I couldn’t answer in a short way. I’m not even close to being finished with what I could say, it’s so nuanced and there’s soo much more that could be talked about but this is already wordy AF 😩

Thank you anon

💜

[a-queer-seminarian]

In the latest ep of Blessed Are the Binary Breakers, I sit down with public historian Emma Cieslik (she/her) to hear all about her Queer and Catholic Oral History Project, supported by the Pacific School of Religion.

For Emma, the word catholic is truly "universal" — she's interviewed Roman Catholics and folk Catholics, ex-Catholics and "it's complicated" Catholics, queer religious and lay folk. In documenting these diverse perspectives, Emma is preserving the beautiful breadth of queer Catholic stories and gifts so that no one can claim they don't exist.

Listen wherever you get podcasts, or click here for direct links + the episode transcript.

Image descriptions are under the readmore + in the alt text.

ID: Images are three infographics with cream colored backgrounds. First says "Documenting Queer Catholic Experiences with Emma Cieslik; Ep 77 of Blessed Are the Binary Breakers, a multifaith podcast of trans stories." A photo of Emma shows a smiling white person with long light brown hair, glasses, and a colorful pastel shirt.

Image two has a quote from Emma reading,

“There is an assumption, walking into the conversations that I have...that what I'm going to encounter is unspeakable trauma and harm. And don't get me wrong, those things are incredibly true and incredibly valid. The Catholic Church has hurt a lot of LGBTQ+ people; it continues to hurt them to this day. But [I also found that] there are many people who are finding spiritual joy and finding spiritual wellness and meaning within Catholicism —within the entire umbrella, the diverse menagerie, smorgasbord if you will, of Catholicism and Catholic practices. So for me, that was my biggest takeaway... coming to understand how being queer and being Catholic could coexist — and not just could coexist, but could also be mutually beneficial to one another.”

Image 3 has a final quote from Emma reading, “This past June I spoke at the Outreach Conference; it's held by Father James Martin. ...He reached out [to invite me to join] a panel on the lesbian experience. ...[Our] big takeaway from the panel was, like, ‘I think this is great, but this is the first time at the conference we're talking about queer Catholic women and we're uplifting those narratives that... often are not uplifted or understood, or seen as important to understand, within in the Church.’ ” A photo shows Emma smiling and posing with Father James Martin in a church. / end ID

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

So you want to write about a Jewish Ed Teach - a quick guide to writing a Jewish man of color, by a Jewish moc

Given Taika Waititi is Jewish, I am always so happy when I see fanfic authors writing about Ed being Jewish! We need more Jewish poc rep and I'm always happy to see it. That being said, I've also seen a lot of misunderstandings, so I wanted to to write up a few quick guidelines.

Disclaimer: I'm just one Jew with an opinion, and this is based on my own experiences! I'd love if other Jews, especially other Jews of color, in the fandom would like to chime in with their thoughts as well!

It is possible to be a Jewish athiest! Judaism is membership in a people, and belief in g-d is not required (and, in my community, it's even considered a very personal question!). Some of the most observant Jews I know are athiests; belief in g-d and level of Jewish observance are not directly correlated. Cannot overstate how common it is for Jews to not believe in g-d or go back and forth on the question.

On that note, there are different levels of Jewish observance. Every individual is different, but in general there's Orthodox (very strict), and then, way on the other side, there's Reform and Conservative (Conservative does not equal politically Conservative). Conservative and Reform are very similar, except the Conservative movement tends to be more observant of traditional Jewish law and uses a lot more Hebrew. If you live in an area without a lot of Jews (like where I live!), it's very common for Reform and Conservative movements to have a lot of overlap and collaborate on a lot of stuff together.

Not every Jew keeps Kosher, or keeps Kosher to the same level of strictness.

Synagogue services are not like Christian services, especially outside of holiday services. Ordinary Saturday morning services are often more like a group conversation as we try to work new meaning out of the Torah. The B'Nei Mitzvah, the big ceremony that marks a kid being old enough to participate fully in Jewish life, is more like "baby's first thesis defense" than anything else! There have literally been pauses in services I've attended before as someone ran to the temple library to check their sources.

Not all Jews speak Hebrew. Some Jews might not know any, some might be able to stumble through the more important prayers, some might be able to sight-read okay, some might only know religious words but not modern words, some might be fluent! Just about any level of proficiency is believable.

Ed's got a lot of tattoos! Tattoos are a big traditional Jewish no-no, but (again!) different movements and different Jews have their own opinions. I know a Conservative tattoo artist! It's not something that other Jews would comment on (unless they're just assholes) and it wouldn't make anyone kick him out of synagogue services (no joke, I read that in a fic once).

Hannukah is not the only (or even the most important) Jewish holiday; it's just the one most non-Jews know about. The two biggest holidays are Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. I think Ed's favorite holidays would be Purim (you get to wear costumes and put on plays!) and Passover (retelling of a story along with a big meal!).

Depending on the area and the Jewish demographic, Jews of color can sometimes feel uncomfortable in our own community, especially when other Jews automatically assume we must be converts. While this is a real issue, it is not something I want to read authors who aren't themselves Jews of color write about because it is a deeply inter-Jewish issue.

Depending on the community you grow up in, religious trauma isn't as common with queer Jews as it is with queer Christians. The Reform movement has been advocating for queer Jews since the 1960s (you read that right, yes). I'm not saying there are no queer Jews who have religious trauma, I'm just saing it's a lot less common, and I have always felt immediately accepted as queer in Jewish spaces.

The inverse is not true. Queer spaces are not always accepting of Jews (or of people of color, a double whammy!).

A few stereotypes to avoid: Jews are often stereotyped as being greedy and corrupt. Jewish kids are bullied by Christian kids because "we killed Jesus," when I was ten I had another kid ask to "see my horns." Always avoid comparing Ed directly to animals, especially rodents.

If you're a non-Jew looking to write about a Jewish Ed, I recommend doing some research. MyJewishLearning is a great website that's very accessible.

Every Jew interacts with our Judaism differently, so if you're writing a Jewish Ed, please take a moment to think about what it means for him! Membership in a community? Calming traditions that remind him of home, family, and community? A point of pride - we're a resilient lot! Even just a note in his background that he's not as connected to as he might like to be?

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

The US Election and the Future of Queer Media

To start this off, I'd like to say that if this post leaves my side of the Internet, this is primarily a religious blog. You won't see takes like this again from me, but I majored in history and have a passion for the preservation of queer culture, so here I am.

I want to start this out by giving my heartfelt condolences to everyone who will be negatively impacted by this election. I'm lucky enough to live in a part of the country where I will likely not experience the negative side of the new administration for at least a year or two. But I know for many, it will come much faster.

The current Republican party has approached queerness with fearmongering, labeling it as "pornography," and attempting to eradicate public expression of it with book and drag bans. While the past 4 years have seen this slow creep, I believe the next 4 years will be much faster, and wider-reaching. I would not be surprised if the Trump administration attempts to ban queer media and public displays of queerness on a federal level, likely under some sort of "anti-porn" law, where queerness will fall under that umbrella of "porn". And with Project 2025 very much existing, and with so many anti-queer people who have the potential to end up in very important positions, we need to get cracking on preserving the queer literature which we do have.

Now would be a good time to start getting USBs, or organizing Google Drives, and trying to get as much queer media onto them as possible. I'm not going to explicitly say that we should all just start pirating stuff at random. If we can buy books, buy art, legally watch movies, donate to organizations etc., then for the love of all that is good, do that. But with the very real threat of our existence being labeled as obscenity on a federal level, it's better safe than sorry. If a time comes where we're unable to access the resources that we need and the stories that we love on the internet, their survival offline will be crucial.

At the end of the day, we will survive. We have the rights that we do have at this moment because our predecessors fought for them. They lived through worse than this, and while it will likely get bad again, we'll survive just as they did.

Linking to two resources that I think are perfect right now, while nothing is falling apart yet:

The Internet Archive, which is a glorious free library, entirely online, with almost anything you could hope to find

The Queer Liberation Library, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit with a collection dedicated primarily to queer literature

[orphee-aux-enfers]

So, I'm asking honestly and in good faith to better understand Orthodox attitudes toward queerness. Suppose you had a son, who is male according to halacha, and he wants to have an intimate relationship with another man (who is similarly male according to halacha). How would you feel about this? How would your wider community feel? Do you think other Orthodox Jews in your community would feel the same in that situation, or is there a spread?

Hi anon. Thanks for the kindness in asking politely, though that should be the bare minimum. Not sure why you're asking me of all people, though. I'm an intersex transsexuel who identifies literally as a "tranny fagdyke". I am married to another transexual who also IDs as a tranny. My wider community absolutely accepts us, but it is still community dependent. So. If my son was also queer, I expect he'd be similarly loved and supported and given free food and hospitality and invited to gatherings and such because we would not be in an unaccepting community. Personally, I've never been shunned at any stage of visible queerness or transness. Maybe I've been lucky. But 7 ish communities is an awful lot for me to feel it's a fluke.

I think the thing people need to understand is that while orthodox Jews at large may not have prior knowledge, or understand, or approve, many refuse to speak out or discriminate due to lashon hara. This means you have acceptance without understanding which is MORE THAN SUFFICIENT for me, especially because the secular world is incredibly hard for me to exist in even if I'm NOT visibly religious, which I very much am. I would much rather be supported by someone who doesn't understand me than outright treated with hatred by someone who uses the politically correct terms of transgender as a slur and calls me a k*** to my face for being a Jew (my experience in secular, queer liberal spaces).

So. Lashon hara. A thing that I think EVERYONE should learn!!!! Because every SINGLE orthodox Jew I know practices it, well, religiously. Including about our trans and queer members of the community. No one chastises as harshly as a bubbe hearing someone call someone names behind their back, to be honest.

Obviously I cannot speak for every community, or even my community's private opinions because I'm ONE PERSON. I've never lived in a New York or New Jersey community. I've mostly lived in Europe, where Orthodox Judaism is often more frequently just... Judaism. It's very unfair to paint all communities with the same brush, based on what seem to me to be minority experiences within an already tiny minority. I understand it's not everyone's experience, but honestly and truly, I know more queer orthodox Jews with good experiences than I know queer orthodox Jews with bad experiences.

[seldarinesorcerer]

I feel like now the queer community is at the point where we should be able to have the conversation that sexuality can be influenced without worrying that cishets are going to use that as a talking point against us. Sometimes sexuality can be influenced by outside environments or even a conscious choice. I've been straight, I've been bisexual, I've been lesbian, I've been aroace, I've been alloace, and now I'm achillean. That was a choice that I made because I discovered calling myself achillean was less stressful and made me feel the best about myself without worrying about how well it realistically fit me in with the community. I understand that for many people, sexuality isn't a choice, but for me, it kind of was. No one gets to define my queerness for me, and I shouldn't have to worry about what the religious and political right wing has to say about it.

For the longest time, I tried to deny that my asexuality had nothing to do with sexual trauma because I didn't want to push the narrative that sexuality can be a choice. I didn't want people to use that against the community as a whole by insinuating that any sexual orientation that isn't heterosexual is unnatural because being queer isn't unnatural.

But my asexuality doesn't feel organic to me. It feels like a result of trauma. But that doesn't mean I'm not asexual. That doesn't mean I should be excluded from using the label or denied access to the community because it defies the "I was born this way" narrative.

Activism around education within the medical field, increasing understanding from doctors around the existence of asexuality would obviously help people who have never experienced sexual attraction from suffering with medical discrimination, but it would also provide options and less judgement for everyone who experiences a decrease in sexual interest, ability, or attraction for any reason.

I understand the reasons behind wanting to create boundaries around an identity. It serves to give queerness a kind of legitimacy. It makes it simpler to explain to people who have never heard the term.

But, to me, these boundaries are becoming their own form of gatekeeping. It's more useful to consider queerness as spectrums of both experience and identity. Applying absolutist statements to define what all queer people are or aren't does more harm than good if helping people understand themselves is a priority in the queer community.

The right has always used the perception of sexuality being a choice or being able to change to justify the claim that queerness is immoral and to deny us our civil rights because of it. I understand the fear of wanting to push back against that narrative.

I also, at the same time, think it's unfair to claim that people whose sexualities have changed over time, either deliberately or as a result of an outside experience, are harmful to the communities under the queer umbrella. We aren't harmful, and we aren't feeding into the conservatives' narratives either. We are queer too and deserve the space to exist and to access the resources we need to understand ourselves and our experiences better.

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts (15) Nightmare

The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 15)

Summary: Rosie tells us about her family's sanctuary that is 221B, but also about wars over board games. In the end, it's the story about someone else who also needs a safe haven.

Fifteen Years Old

I felt oddly protective of our home from an early age, and I didn’t want it invaded by my friends. Not that I was ashamed of all the bric-a-brac, Papa’s experiments, or how different it was to other homes I’d visited. It was just...our space, a safe haven where we all could lower our guards, Papa in particular. Over the years, his fame had increased exceedingly, and his derisive façade kept journalists and fans at bay. The moment he entered 221B, he discarded said façade by hanging his coat on the peg.

Another thing to consider, were the battles that always ensued whenever one of us challenged the others to a board game. Having an outsider witnessing that…well, we’d surely be sectioned for life if that were to occur. 

(More likely, the person would be granted vicious dreams for eternity.)

But as Papa points out; there’s always something. In this context, someone.  My friend Liwia. Her parents were Polish, and moved to England two years before Liwia was born. They were Catholics, and having to adjust to a society that was more liberal toward queer people than Poland, took its time. When Liwia came out to them as a lesbian the year prior, they’d tried to pin it on her friendship with me. I was after all related to quite a few of the sort and Liwia’s parents seemed to believe the ludicrous lie that queerness was contagious.

It took them some months to get over it, but once they realised that Liwia still was her normal self, they discarded the original idea of sending her to Poland to live with her strictly religious grandparents. Neither of the Barczykowskis was prepared when said grandparents announced that they were visiting London that summer, staying for at least a fortnight. 

***

Dad and I were in the middle of a Scrabble war, when Papa came home. Not that we realised it at the time. We were too engrossed in arguing.

“It’s bloody unfair to use all the medical terms and diseases you can come up with to win, you know!” I exclaimed accusatory.

“Oh, come now, Rosebud,” Dad teased, looking as pleased as the cat that ate the canary.

“Don’t you dare Rosebud me,” I said through clenched teeth. 

Dad only used that pet name when we were at war over the board games, and it rubbed me up the wrong way.

“Children,” Papa chastised, barely able to suppress his glee.

“You’re home,” we said in unison.

I waited for the inevitable eyeroll and his obviously, but none came.

“We have a guest,” Papa said and waved a hand, and that’s when I saw Liwia standing by the sofa wringing her hands, a look of despair in her eyes.

I leapt to my feet and walked over to hug her tight.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered into her hair.

She explained about her grandparents, and with just one look over at Papa, receiving a nod, I turned back to assure my friend that she could stay at Baker Street for as long as she needed, if her biased grandparents started to make her life a living nightmare.

“Thank you, Mr. Holmes and Doctor Watson,” Liwia said politely.

I could literally see the relief wash over her, the tension in her shoulders dissipating and a tiny smile forming on her lips.

“Please, call us John and Sherlock,” Dad said. 

Then he turned his attention to me with a devilish grin.

“Does this mean you declare defeat, Rosebud?”

“You wish!” I snarled and left Liwia’s side to go into battle with my father.

(Before you go all bananas on me - this will continue tomorrow...)

Also available on AO3

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @raina-at @helloliriels

More tags in the replies.