#our religious queer experience

[our-religious-queer-experience]

I just wanted to say that finding your blog means a lot to me. I’ve been struggling with my identity as a queer religious person and your blog celebrating queer religious people is so awesome. Thank you so much!

Hello! I'm really, really sorry for not responding to this earlier. I was having a lot of conflicting thoughts and struggles regarding my identity and religion, so I started to neglect this blog for a while. I know it seems strange. But I'm getting better, I just wanted to explain why I didn't use this blog for some time.

Im really happy more queer religious folks feel accepted and celebrated here. Truthfully it's what this blog is all about. I made it right after i broke out of a really bad place. I really wanted and needed to spread some positivity for queer religious people, since all the time it seems like people form both our religion and the queer community doesn't think we belong with them. But that's not true.

You're not a contradiction. You don't have to choose sides. You don't have to live a life of self hatred and resentment. You're wonderful and strong and deserve kindness like everyone else. You are not a sin, and neither are you a perpetuator of discrimination. You are you. Deserving of love !!!

[our-arospec-experience]

Be me

Growing up Mormon

The goal of the religion is to get married and live good so you can be married FOREVER and go to Disney super-heaven and live happily ever after

Sounds boring. And kinda terrifying

Parents divorce when I'm 8-13 (it was messy af)

Religious abuse + patriarchy turns me off to Mormonism

Come back after years of feeling lost and "its not really Like That"

Get in relationship, full of overblown and exhausting emotions and not taking care of myself

Because thats how romance works, right?

Be normal

Get married

Have a kid

Oh shit, its really Like That.

Get the fuck out of there (marriage and church)

Get the hardcore amatonormativity deprogrammed out of me

Expanding my world and perspective

Living happily ever after as an alloaro single mom

Way better than eternal marriage superheaven

I’m so glad it worked out alright!!!

[enbetweeen]

Your humanity is heavenly

[sotiredofendos]

A system is a collection of alters. Alters are chronically dissociated self states, with different neurological pathways that often are accompanied by a varying degree of amnesia. Dissociation is caused by stress/trauma. Alters are a byproduct of dissociating from trauma. You can’t dissociate from trauma you do not have. You cannot dissociate without trauma. You cannot have alters without trauma. You cannot have a system without alters.

You cannot be a system without trauma.

Do you have to know about the trauma ? No. Does it have to be a certain type of trauma ? No. Does it need to be a certain severity ? No. It just needs to have occurred during critical developmental period of the brain. Before the ego states have stitched together, it must be chronic, and beyond the child’s stress threshold, otherwise it will not disrupt the developmental growth. This is different for everyone. The reason trauma cannot be listed as a diagnostic criteria, is because there is no “xyz trauma that causes dissociative disorders”. It’s completely unique to each person suffering from the disorder. And in often cases, the person suffering from the disorder isn’t aware of their trauma. That’s the point of the disorder. This does not mean you don’t need trauma to suffer from a dissociative disorder. Systems are byproducts of dissociative disorders, you cannot be a byproduct of a disorder you do not have.

Endos are not systems. What do I mean by this? I mean that, by definition, that term is not suited for them, and is not meant to describe them. Just like kinning doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like roleplaying doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like religious practises such as tulpamancy isn’t a system. You are perfectly free to do whatever you please, truly. But do not compare it to being a system. You do not share our experiences. You are a different community entirely, and that’s ok.

But please, for the love of god, stop invading our community, and stop spreading misinformation about an already stigmatised and misunderstood disorder.

I understand if you didn’t know better. But please, educate yourself, and stop spreading this misinformation. Being a system isn’t an identity. It’s not a label. And please, stop comparing it to being queer. This is a mental illness. Being queer is not a mental illness.

[grey-sorcery]

New to witchcraft? Awesome! Here's some things you should pursue.

An understanding of sympathetic magic: Correspondences, their metaphysical and theoretical framework, and their derivation.

Magical systems that incorporate the entire gender spectrum.

Energy work that isn't based on visualization.

The means of manifestation: How, where, and when spells affect physical change. The physical mechanisms through which witchcraft manifests beyond just willpower/intent/wishes/etc.

The history and subsequent influences of, and on, popular contemporary practices like Hermeticism, "Ceremonial Magick"/Golden Dawn, Wicca, and New Age/New Thought/LOA/Reiki.

How to approach and practice magic with critical thinking skills.

Influence of consumerism on contemporary practices.

Divination as systems: all methods of divination beyond tarot, their statistical applications, and their different methods of use.

The anthropology of medieval Arabia, Europe, Near East, and Asia relative to the magical or occult publications of the era. What is purely religious, parareligious, or syncretist and what does that mean for the interpretation of the text?

The genuine limits of our knowledge of the ancient world, what's possible for us to know and what can't we know?

Conversations with practitioners of closed or semi-closed practices and perspectives of POC when it comes to what the western world would label as "witchcraft".

The differences and similarities between superstition and the practice of witchcraft.

An understanding of the influence of colonialism on modern witchcraft and the language used to discuss magic.

Critical Race Theory (CRT), Queer Theory, and systems of oppression.

Botany and herbology: An understanding of the physical and medical properties of plants.

Building a personal lexicon for modern and/or colloquial terms used in and by the witchcraft community to describe and discuss practices.

Spell design: What makes a spell a spell? What is the smallest or slightest action that can be considered a spell and why? What are the most important and influential elements of the design and application of a spell?

Altars: Their use, design, and potential; whether or not an altar would benefit your practice or goals for practice.

A critical approach to spirit work and astral projection, being able to discern between personal narratives and probable experiences.

A safe and solid community to become a part of. One that does not allow the influence of personal narratives (Without addressing them as such), doesn't allow for the mixing of adults and minors, and with established and enforced logical and reasonable rules.

Collect and cross-reference correspondences from as many sources as possible, then start to create your own.

Try to find a STEM subject that interests you and study it through any non-dogmatic avenues available to you.

The items highlighted in blue are things I highly recommend!

Here is a list of things to avoid.

This is, of course, not an end-all-be-all list of possible responsible and healthy pursuits.

You can learn more about me, find my master-post, check out my Patreon, and suggest content here.

[xiaq]

Have you ever talked about LRPD’s title? Is it inspired by the Hozier song?

[wow this ended up being long]

Yes! Like Real People Do’s title came from the Hozier song.

To me, the song is about two traumatized people wishing they could love with the simple of ease of the “ordinary” and I know I’m not the only queer person to take that interpretation.

See, I knew intimately what it was like to look at someone and think I could love them, maybe, but also recognize that the process of finding out wouldn’t be simple purely because that person shared my gender.

I recall a pretty terrible moment of recognition when I was a teenager; being bisexual, I’d had a handful of crushes at that point. But when I had a crush on a boy, the scariest thing about it was if I flirted and he wasn’t interested. If he was, the rest was easy—dates and kisses and getting to know each other.

But with a girl, I wasn’t even sure what the scariest thing could be. There wasn’t just the risk of her not returning my interest. If she WAS interested, that would be far more dangerous. How would we maintain our relationship in secret? What if we were discovered? We’d certainly be kicked out of our very conservative private school. But would we also be kicked out of our homes? Would we be sent away to special schools or conversion therapy? Would our lives irrevocably be changed purely because we wanted to experience the simple teenage pleasure of falling in love?

It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t we just kiss like real people do?

And even when I moved away from home and went to college, that fear [not to mention the boatload of religious trauma] followed me and colored my interactions as I cautiously started seeking out queer spaces.

The first time I heard the song, I had an almost visceral reaction to it—I was catapulted back to being a teenager struggling with this yearning that existed within me that I felt I could tell no one without cataclysmic risk.

When I wrote Like Real People Do in my early 20’s I was still very much grappling with that feeling and I put a lot of that yearning into Alex’s character. And while I’m not sure the book does justice to the title, I certainly thought the title encapsulated the excitement-tempered-by-fear vibe I was going for with Alex and Eli’s romance.

(I had another formative moment, many years later, after I moved to the Gayborhood in Dallas [mentioned in book 4!]. It was the opposite scenario, where I found myself waiting outside the S4 club, looking around at so many unapologetically queer people and feeling like I could kiss anyone I wanted on the street without fear. And god do I wish everyone felt that way all the fucking time.)

[alicecorpseliddell]

PLURAL ASK GAME (30 questions)

Have an ask game we came up with while waiting around at the hospital today!!!

Remember to practice reblog karma!!*

*reblog karma does not apply to us/the original post, but you're free to send us asks anyways; and if you do, send them to @thecorpsefactory

❤️ — How many hosts do you currently have, and how many have you had in total?

🧡 — Do any of your hosts (current or previous) have sub/side/hemi/etc-system(s)?

💛 — Do people in your system retire from their roles/'jobs' often/do you have a high turnover rate?

💚 — Do you have an inner world? If so how many? And can you (or any headmate) control any of them?

💙 — If there are certain plural terms that your system doesn't like what are they? And why?

💜 — Do you have any age or age-identity that has more people aligning with it than others? (i.e. more 16 year olds than anything, more agesliders, etc)

🤎 — Is your system collectively any form of otherkin or therian? If so how did you figure out you were that collectively? And do any individual headmates not identify with it?

🖤 — Is there any type of role or headmate you wish you had more of? (i.e. more protectors, more traumaholders, more endogenic headmates, more walk-ins, etc)

🤍 — Do you have any system visitors? (i.e. someone who doesn't live in your system but stops by sometimes— doesn't have to be able to front)

💌 — Are there distinctions between headmates' handwriting? If so who has the worst handwriting? And who has the best?

💐 — Are there any headmates who can do something IRL that the rest can't? (i.e. sing, use chopsticks, dance, do math, etc)

🌹 — Any headmates have over 20 different names?

🥀 — If you have an inner world are there any places from real life that are there? Or any places inspired by real life?

🌺 — If you're a primarily queer system, are there any cishets? And if you're a primarily cishet system are there any queer headmates?

🌷 — Are there any multisourced headmates with over 15 different sources?

🌸 — Is there anyone taller than 60ft/18.2m?

🌻 — If you use emojis (or other symbols) to indicate headmates, have there ever been fights over who gets what?

🌼 — If you could describe your system in words that have nothing to do with plurality or spirituality, how would you?

🌑 — What's the most obscure source anyone has? (OCs do not count)

🌒 — Do you have anyone who wants nothing to do with their source, and doesn't identity with it, but still uses with their name and/or appearance from their source?

🌓 — Do any headmates have allergies that carry over to the body when fronting? If so do they act like normal allergies or are they more 'mild'?

🌔 — Are there any headmates who struggle with modern technology? If so why?

🌕 — Can anyone speak any languages in headspace that they can't speak bodily?

🍎 — If you experience amnesia barriers, are there any headmates who have inconsistent barriers? (i.e. sometimes sharing memories fine, other times being unable to, only being able to share with a select few, etc)

🍏 — What is the highest amount of headmates you've ever had at any given moment? And what is the lowest amount you've had at any given moment?

🍋 — If you have an inner world, has it always been there? Or did you have to work to create it?

🍍 — If you're religious, do any of your headmates practice a religion different from your collective one?

🍉 — If you have an inner world, do you have inner variants of social media or other forms of digital contact? (i.e. phones, laptops, etc)

🫐 — If you're publicly a system, who was the first person(s) you told? And why? What was their reaction?

🍒 — Do you have any headmates that originate from a system other than your own, but now reside within yours?

[ PLAIN TEXT ] We Are A Diagnosed Traumagenic DID System We Are Pro Endogenic And You Will Not Change Our Mind If You Harass Us You Give Us Consent To Harass You Back

[utilitycaster]

1. My biggest isssue (as a POC) is when is a character POC or otherized? Do we use IRL or in world? Beau is Human, brown woman. At no point in C2 is the fact that she is brown comes up other than discriptions. Her humaness is what matters especially in the COB. She is treated the same aa Caleb. Fjord, Nott and Molly havs far more in text displays of racism towards them. Ppl dismiss jester as being "white" but insist dorian is poc. When in world they are the same colour.

2. And teiflings would be more discriminated against. I know robbie is poc and dorian is blue but hes a genasi. In the world of exandria i view him and ashton as the same race. So i see these weird arguments online and its always a cross steam trying to use both in world races and irl to prove a point. Since i am examining the world of exandria i use the races displayed there and no attention to what the people look like irl. Also it avoids unintentional sterotyping down the road

3. An example ppl drawing drow and ashton with black racial features (my own) and then someone else complaing that the fandom made the asshole and the would be villian into black men. This fanon has unintended consequences once the story is fully fleshed out. Saying Orym is non white (despite Liams art direction) is bad because people to this day are mad Marisha made beau dark. It cant be both way. This way ppl can headcanon stuff so they dont have 2 go looking for other ips for representation.

----

So this is a really good point and I am, as said, an ethnic/religious minority but not a racial one and so this is how I tend to interpret this stuff in fantasy works, especially ones that have multiple species (humans, elves, etc) as it's not limited to Critical Role (ie, happens in Dragon Age too), which I think is what you're saying here but feel free to let me know if I'm wrong:

There's "is this character treated, in-world, as racialized" (which is often more contextual in a lot of fictional works in a way it is not IRL due to patterns of colonialism in our world, which is a long conversation I'm probably not equipped to articulate well, but just as an example, Fjord is racialized as a half-orc on the Menagerie Coast, but half-orcs in Yios, for example would have a very different experience). In other words, do people within the work of fiction discriminate against them on the basis of race? Anyway, as you said, Fjord, Molly, Jester, and Veth in her goblin form are treated as The Other; Fjord (and Molly, though his memory is only a few years long) grew up with this experience whereas Jester and Veth grew up, for different reasons, sheltered from or unaffected by that discrimination. Beau didn't experience racism in-world, nor did Veth in her halfling form, despite both of them being visibly nonwhite. For a Dragon Age example, Bellara, Davrin, and Antoine grew up with racism as elves, but Neve did not (and indeed comments on using her privilege as a human mage among human mages) despite being visibly nonwhite (and despite Antoine being white).

There's then "is this character treated out of world as racialized", or in other words, do fans treat them as nonwhite. This is also complicated, and this is something I can speak to as Jewish people who are not also POC experience 'conditional whiteness', ie, when right-wing people want to hate Jews we are the nonwhite infiltrator and when left-wing (and often themselves white) people want to hate them they are the white oppressor. So racist fans will hate characters who are nonwhite (like Beau) and fans trying to prove their blorbo cannot be criticized on the basis of oppression. In this case, Beau and Veth are nonwhite; Fjord and Jester often vary depending on what argument the person wants to make; Molly, as opposed to Jester, is almost NEVER drawn with nonwhite features (which frankly says a LOT of unflattering things about the white queer centering, now that I think about it); etc.

And then there's "is the actor/creator racialized in real life," ie, Robbie, Aabria, Anjali, Utkarsh, Aimee, Christian, Mica, Khary, etc are all POC and the main cast are not. Most of their characters are nonwhite, but few are racialized - Shakaste, Deanna, Bor'Dor, Opal, Deni$e, and Reani do not experience racism within this setting. Genasi (as played by Anjali, Robbie, and Taliesin) are a complicated case of being tokenized/model minority within the Empire, and the Silken Squall being inspired by native culture but their role within the world only slightly touched upon such that it's hard to draw a definitive conclusion.

And, since I referenced it in the tags elsewhere, for an NPC case: Essek is racialized by the people of the Empire (as a drow) along with the rest of the Dynasty; he is not racialized within the Dynasty and is indeed in a privileged position there; and whether or not he's treated as nonwhite by the fandom depends on whether someone wants to hate on him or defend him on the basis of identity. He is an NPC, and Matt's white, but in theory could be controlled by a nonwhite GM such as Aabria, or a nonwhite player in the way that Robbie played Cerkonos.

Anyway: completely agree that a lot of people do this in the end so that they don't have to seek out like, Desiquest or Rivals of Waterdeep or Into the Motherlands or other APs run by actual real nonwhite people either because of parasocial connections to the cast, the fact that CR has a larger fandom and they want the attention, or the fact that often they are here for white queer characters and bring in nonwhite characters (and headcanons of white characters) as some kind of armor against criticism.

I think in terms of character interpretation you do need to consider both in-world (Fjord is textually treated as the racial other to the point of self-harming to fit in; you cannot treat him as The Racial Majority in the world without being noncanonical) and out-of-world (irl people are racist towards Beau) but yeah a lot of people really want to have it both ways.

This happens a lot with queerness too - one of the big backlashes I experienced during this campaign is when I pointed out that Exandria is not, in fact, a setting with systemic homophobia and Imogen's experience of being othered in Gelvaan is an extremely bad metaphor for queerness given that she can read people's minds and almost killed two people, but it is true that people irl may be homophobic towards Imogen as a character. But again, you need to be consistent in those arguments - if you are talking about in-world racism or homophobia, you cannot bring up Imogen or Beau, who do not experience these things. If you are talking about fandom racism, you can bring up Beau. And if your issue is racism and representation in the real world, you can and should push back on (for example) people being racist towards Utkarsh for daring to exist and not know every rule of D&D when Emily Axford is onscreen but also we are watching a show of 8 white people when there are other actual plays with a more diverse cast. And yeah, fanon isn't canon and if the character is only nonwhite in your mind, it is not racist of people to disagree or to not vibe with them and it's also worth checking, if you are headcanoning someone with an identity you do not personally have, to see if you're falling into harmful stereotypes. Why are you headcanoning Orym, a character who doesn't experience in-world discrimination, played by a white man, as nonwhite, instead of seeking out works with textually nonwhite or racialized characters? And why are you incapable of accepting that sometimes you'll like a character who is not on every single axis of oppression and it's like, fine, provided you work against oppression in your real world life? If your faves are always white or always men (or, frankly, always demographically like you) then maybe take a look at yourself and who you are capable of relating to, but if you have a mixture of diverse favorite characters it's fine if not every one of them checks every single box.

[dancermk]

I’m a little disappointed to see so much discourse, fandom competitiveness, and plain arguing going around at the moment in regards to queer film/TV. People complaining about too much sex, not enough sex, too cheesy, made for the hets, too happy, too sad, too realistic, too unrealistic, and a million other petty issues. I, for one, am a queer person in my 50s and I grew up with practically zero representation! Yes, we want to continue onwards and upwards with quality and varied shows BUT let’s be HAPPY we now have representation! Like, actual shows where the central characters are queer, not just a side character who gets f*cking murdered! There is room for all different types of representation - so enjoy the types you like, and let others enjoy what they like.

And on a side note: progress is progress and film/tv is a business that has to turn a profit! If some queer content is made to appeal to the straight community, and will also act as a means of reducing homophobia and increasing understanding, then that’s a good thing. That means in the future more and more content will include queer stories and representation. If only 10% (ish) of the population is the maximum target audience then shows won’t keep getting made!

There is a huge backlash all over the world right now - a “push back” by conservatives and religious groups that want to wind back the clock, and specifically the last decade of advances.

So stick together queers and LGBTQIA+ allies.

I’m super happy knowing I don’t have to wait years between content anymore. And I’ve loved all different types of shows over the last 5 years, for lots of different reasons!

Interview with the Vampire - is giving me the toxic, passionate gothic love affair I’ve always wanted. And addressing interracial relationships.

Heartstopper - is filling me up with pure joy and hopefulness for the future.

Shameless - gave me Ian and Mickey - unique, anti stereotypical gays with a tragic yet ultimately beautiful love story spanning 11 years

Lone Star 911 - is giving me TK and Carlos whose sexuality barely factors into the storyline! Yay!

Looking - gave me an authentic queer experience and an intoxicating love triangle.

Red, white and Royal Blue - gave me a sweet, cute romcom that allowed reality to be sidelined. Fun escapism!

Young Royals - had me captivated by first love and intense angst.

Fire Island - an underrated romcom that made me laugh so hard I cried.

Sex education - shoved the realities of sex in our faces and provided me with laughter and drama and a range of queer identities.

Gentlemen Jack -gave me historical lesbians with spectacular wit, and feminine power.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg- because there’s SO SO SO many more shows I could mention! Don’t at me because I didn’t mention YOUR favourite. This is my point! There is SO much great content it would take all day for me to include everything. This is just a sample - and that’s f*cking brilliant!!

So maybe we could all start posting/tweeting etc about what WE DO LIKE / LOVE / MAKES US FEEL LOVED AND SEEN and put down the device if we’ve got nothing nice to say.

Sending everyone a love filled week! 💜

[queerorthodoxy]

I love queer religious people, the world needs our perspective and experiences. The world needs you.

[fuck-customers]

this is an older story but i wanted to give it time. I used to work for a grocery store. It was a small town location for a big chain, and our location was in a very poor area. I'd gotten the job to help my mom make rent because we'd recently gotten out of homelessness and into a shitty apartment, and my mom was undergoing a messy divorce because of domestic violence. Quitting or getting fired was not an option, and I ended up taking more hours than my body could handle (recently recovering from surgery) because we really needed the money.

This was during the early pandemic- december 2020. I was already regularly getting harassed by customers and one day someone finally crossed the line of what I could handle. This woman lived on our street and was friends with our downstairs neighbor. She was mean and consistently got on my case because I was visibly queer, and she'd made a lot of cruel comments to my mom regarding the divorce because she was very religious and believed divorce was sinful. Whenever she'd come through my line she'd call my mom a slut because she'd seen my mom's boyfriend (my stepdad now) drop her off on dates back at the apartment. The week after christmas, right before new years, this woman came in 10 minutes before closing with 2 full carts of groceries. It was mostly produce, which took forever to key in and weigh on our checkout system. It was almost 11 pm, I'd worked all the holidays that year, and I was in pain and depressed enough. I sighed and looked at the clock, and she slammed her hand down on the grocery belt.

She told me that I had better get her stuff scanned in quick and not waste time gazing off into nowhere because she could "make the right call to the right person and put (my mom and I) back on the street where we belonged so we'd learn a lesson for the holidays". I was shocked because I knew customers in a bad mood said rude stuff a lot but like, it really scared the crap out of me. I was holding back tears and she called me some slurs I won't repeat here, threw a carton of eggs on the floor, and when I had to clean it up she stood over me and laughed at me. I ended up leaving work just before midnight because I had to close up.

My manager watched the whole thing happen and said nothing. The woman continued to behave like that the rest of the time I worked there, and I got reprimanded for not behaving in a way that would have prevented her from throwing the eggs. I had a lot of bad experiences at that job, but that woman made me start going back to therapy twice a week.

Posted by admin Rodney

[cassiusfen]

This isn't my art, (it's made by @ TheHearthFox over on Twitter) but I wanted to make a long post about why this work in particular speaks to me so goddamn much. I think such a massive part of the queer experience -- and also the furry experience -- is about the abstract. This can be seen in so many different aspects of furry "culture," from the concept of fursonas to kink and and other fetish content. You and I will never know what it's like to be a werewolf and transform under the full moon into the form of a big hulking furry beast. However, us furries create art and other works about the idea of it anyway. We never will be able to be our fursonas -- our often idealized and "perfect" versions of ourselves -- and part of that really hurts. It hurts so bad honestly, to the point where I can't quite put it into words. In terms of queer culture, I will never know what it is like to be a cis woman, and that also messes with me a lot. Yet, I'm still trans, my identity can change, I can perceive myself as whatever I damn well please. Identity allows you to shape yourself and the world around you in your own image, even if not everyone can see its beauty.

We have ways to get at least somewhat close to how we feel in our abstraction. VRChat allows you to make an avatar of what ever you want, whether it's your fursona or just an ideal version of you. Hell, it doesn't even have to be you, it could be anyone or anything really. We have a whole industry based around creating big ass costumes that allow people to at least look something like their desired character. But it's not enough. It's never enough. I ain't religious, but sometimes I feel like I've bitten the apple, been kicked out of the garden, and now I'm left to fend for myself with an identity that my physicality will never match. When I made my fursona using an avatar base in vrchat and configured it to match my real world body scales and looked down, I honestly started crying. I take the headset off, and I'm still me. Everyone takes the headset or fursuit off and they're still the body they were given, not what they would choose. Our reality is objective, and there's no way to really change that. We can act like animal people online all day, but the moment that screen shuts off, the moment we walk away, that warm, fuzzy feeling (hehe) fades.

To think abstract is to think beyond what you can normally sense. You will never get to brush the knots out of your fur in the morning, or play with your antennae while anxious (I see you bug people). We can still have those ideas, however. I know I'm on the third goddamn paragraph and I'm just now talking about the artwork I linked but this is an important concept to me. Usually, when I think of the abstract, it feels unreal, "fuzzy" so to speak. However, in HearthFox's piece, the objective reality appears out of focus and pixelated. It feels like even if we are unable to fully embrace the abstract, we can still embrace what we can of it, and bring some sort of color to a world that doesn't feel like it is made for us. The colors being outside of the lines could suggest that our abstract perception is maybe just "painted on" to the world around us, but is that a bad thing? Is it bad to take things in from the world around you, but still look at it all in your own unique way? I think not. This also isn't only about therian identity, or furry identity, or even queer identity -- it's also about neurodivergence. You are never in the wrong for thinking about the world in a way that is viewed as "non-standard" by the rest of the world. If you see yourself as a wolf, bee, fox, bear, raccoon, a fucking plane, it's not a bad thing. We can still identify however we want, and this modern way of looking at identity is the best way for us to embrace the abstract.

Go wild, go fucking stupid. Love yourself, if you're a fox, be a fox, there are ways you can feel that way, even if it's not all of the time. We can fight, we can love, we can still find ways to elation, even if sometimes existence itself feels wrong to you. This work is but one side of abstract thinking. Look at the color the fox has compared to the objective. Look how the fur drapes, how it runs down the body, or how the snout expresses emotion. Sometimes it feels melancholic, but you cannot tell me that trying your absolute damnedest to live your identity doesn't at least bring some color to your otherwise dreary and unfocused world.

Stay safe, love yourself no matter what.

[seldarinesorcerer]

I feel like now the queer community is at the point where we should be able to have the conversation that sexuality can be influenced without worrying that cishets are going to use that as a talking point against us. Sometimes sexuality can be influenced by outside environments or even a conscious choice. I've been straight, I've been bisexual, I've been lesbian, I've been aroace, I've been alloace, and now I'm achillean. That was a choice that I made because I discovered calling myself achillean was less stressful and made me feel the best about myself without worrying about how well it realistically fit me in with the community. I understand that for many people, sexuality isn't a choice, but for me, it kind of was. No one gets to define my queerness for me, and I shouldn't have to worry about what the religious and political right wing has to say about it.

For the longest time, I tried to deny that my asexuality had nothing to do with sexual trauma because I didn't want to push the narrative that sexuality can be a choice. I didn't want people to use that against the community as a whole by insinuating that any sexual orientation that isn't heterosexual is unnatural because being queer isn't unnatural.

But my asexuality doesn't feel organic to me. It feels like a result of trauma. But that doesn't mean I'm not asexual. That doesn't mean I should be excluded from using the label or denied access to the community because it defies the "I was born this way" narrative.

Activism around education within the medical field, increasing understanding from doctors around the existence of asexuality would obviously help people who have never experienced sexual attraction from suffering with medical discrimination, but it would also provide options and less judgement for everyone who experiences a decrease in sexual interest, ability, or attraction for any reason.

I understand the reasons behind wanting to create boundaries around an identity. It serves to give queerness a kind of legitimacy. It makes it simpler to explain to people who have never heard the term.

But, to me, these boundaries are becoming their own form of gatekeeping. It's more useful to consider queerness as spectrums of both experience and identity. Applying absolutist statements to define what all queer people are or aren't does more harm than good if helping people understand themselves is a priority in the queer community.

The right has always used the perception of sexuality being a choice or being able to change to justify the claim that queerness is immoral and to deny us our civil rights because of it. I understand the fear of wanting to push back against that narrative.

I also, at the same time, think it's unfair to claim that people whose sexualities have changed over time, either deliberately or as a result of an outside experience, are harmful to the communities under the queer umbrella. We aren't harmful, and we aren't feeding into the conservatives' narratives either. We are queer too and deserve the space to exist and to access the resources we need to understand ourselves and our experiences better.

[myobsessionsspace]

maybe a tough question but hypothetically, do you think it would be the end of BTS if Jungkook and jimin ever came out as a couple?

Hypothetically speaking.

For some reason I don’t think the majority of the fandom would be accepting, sadly. 

What are your thoughts? Again, hypothetically. I really doubt they ever would. 

the travel show almost feels like a cushion? If that’s the right way to put it. Like it’s them saying, we’re close. And if upon our release from MS, you catch us out and about together or closer than ever, well, we served together, we travelled together, we are simply close.

a cover. Of sorts.

thoughts?

Hi Lovely,

If it’s ok I’d like to talk about coming out first before I talk about the hypothetical in relation to Jikook.

Coming Out

As a member of the community myself I can only speak for my own experiences, own up to my lack of experiences, refer to what I’ve learnt from others and resources and it still wouldn’t be enough. Because identity, orientation, expression etc is totally individual. Sometimes it’s constantly evolving and sometimes due to situations left dormant or stifled.

Sexual orientation for some people is not a one and done. There are many people I know that have come out with one label then have come out later one with another, then another.

I say all that to say one of the key focuses in coming out is to label yourself unambiguously.

This originally was meant to be for the person in question only.

This was meant to be so the person in question could live in their full authentic truth, to no longer have to deal with societal pressures and expectations.

To understand themselves and to have people understand them. To find a community, to be embraced and loved.

Coming out was meant to feel LIBERATING to the person in question, freeing, coming out of a box, a closet if you will.

Sadly that’s not always the case for everyone.

Sometimes it’s because of the environments they are in, that doesn’t allow for them to be fully embraced, to have that fearless freedom, to have that community. Sometimes it’s just not safe.

Not safe due to the emotional anguish that may be inflicted on the person by those closest to them, those in their everyday environment, those in their wider environment.

It may have physical safety repercussions, financial repercussions, familial and social repercussions, religious conflicts etc.

It may just not be safe because the person in question is not ready to deal with the psychological and emotional effects that may ensue after they coming out because we live in a world where the majority oppress the minority, and being queer is a minority.

No matter how progressive people may view the world to be, through the lense of the internet, in the human body, physically dealing with everything that comes with labelling yourself is a big deal.

On the flip side there are those that are fortunate that they don’t even have to come out. Or any fears aren’t actualised because they’re blessed.

There are people that have never been taught to be fearful of learning themselves, expressing themselves.

They’ve never been taught to view people and their differences in any negative way. They’ve been taught they are in a safe and loved environment that no matter what they do, how they live or who they do or don’t love

They are and will still be loved and have a place.

There are some people that when they do come out their family and or friends would be like ‘oh honey, why are you being formal about it, even the cat knew’

Even with people that have all of the above they may come out to every Tom, Dick and Harry they meet, they may come out to a select few or they might not come out at all.

Because essentially coming out is the person in questions choice. It’s their privilege, it’s their right. It’s theirs.

It’s not the requirement so others around them feel better. It’s not a job requirement, a legal requirement any requirement at all. It’s not a must to prove you’re actually queer. If someone never comes out in their whole life it doesn’t negate their queerness.

Labelling oneself is not for others. It’s for the person.

For them to define themselves if they so wish to, for them to understand themselves, to learn themselves, to appreciate and love themselves.

To find others like them, to cut down time explaining to others if they so wish to about their preferences, expression, identity and so on.

Ok so with that out of the way

Jikook

- No I don’t think the show is them coming out

- Yes I think the show is to show what we already know and what is one hard fact, that Jikook are best friends and closer than close

- Yes, I’m hoping that it helps those that do know of them and don’t, to accept their closeness as not just co-workers in a group but as a very close duo within the group

- Yes I agree with you, the fandom as a whole, if they were to undeniably be known as a romantic non-heterosexual couple, wouldn’t fully embrace them how we would believe in 2024.

Sadly one of the things that comes along with boy bands is the fan girl in varying forms. The fan girl that no matter their proximity to the boy band member, their relationship status, their age, whatever, the fan girl puts their wants, beliefs and ideals onto them. They idolise their idol. Sadly the majority boy band fans and BTS’ fans idolise them, fantasise about them. Be it with themselves or a stand in they deem suitable, a woman.

Because heteronormativity is so rooted in their thinking, they can’t see their idols as anything but. What else could they do but be successful then have the wife, kids, pets and picket fence? If not that then the idol will remain the bad boy lothario of their fantasies even grey haired and weak backed.

For too many people in the world and too many in the fandom being gay first and foremost is seen as defective. To believe that about their idol would be ‘wrong’ in their eyes. If it was to be proven true it would cause an array of negative emotions, thoughts and actions. The most tame being to leave the fandom.

I’m a very pessimistic person, though I need and seek for positivity. Thats that’s chronic that anxiety & depression baby✨

I have grown up and am surrounded by a culture similar to the SK conservative culture when it comes to nearly everything, gender roles, sexuality etc. I am a minority from a culture that legally, religiously and socially oppresses queer people. I can without the Korean male element wholeheartedly understand being closeted in SK.

I can’t however understand being a celebrity of any kind, let alone a celebrity of their magnitude.

Jikook & Labelling

We have no clue. From context clues we can assume Jimin to be bisexual, but from nothing directly and explicitly verbalised by him. Through his art, many have drawn this conclusion. There are other assumptions that have been made by some to do with his gender expression and identity. He has only ever referred to himself as a 남자 [man] any and everytime in public. Yes we have evidence of him bucking masculine stereotypes and my understanding of him is that he’s growing and defining HIS understanding of what it is to be a man and it’s not what the society he’s grown up in deems it to be. I have my own views on Jungkook and his orientation *100% mlm gay*

However not everyone feels the need to label themselves or chooses to and we have no idea when it comes to Jikook, only assumptions. So Jikook may not feel the need to come out because they may not label themselves and feel the need to make that public knowledge through official statements, interviews, on tv etc.

I can’t see this ever being Jikook, just my opinion 🙈

Like you anon I believe they’ll just keep Jikooking. I don’t believe they would if they wanted to ever come out in a public official statement type of way, they’d just live their lives and let people think whatever they wanted to think.

And if they ever did, it’d most likely be when Bangtan are no longer continuously active, seeing as they want to perform on cruises etc in their 60s, who knows when that’ll ever be.

There are some of my friends that think the same as me and some that think they’ll totally come out in a big way one day and not decades and decades in the future.

If you were able to get to the end of this you’re a real one🙌💪

A topic like this is something that I couldn’t answer in a short way. I’m not even close to being finished with what I could say, it’s so nuanced and there’s soo much more that could be talked about but this is already wordy AF 😩

Thank you anon

💜

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

The US Election and the Future of Queer Media

To start this off, I'd like to say that if this post leaves my side of the Internet, this is primarily a religious blog. You won't see takes like this again from me, but I majored in history and have a passion for the preservation of queer culture, so here I am.

I want to start this out by giving my heartfelt condolences to everyone who will be negatively impacted by this election. I'm lucky enough to live in a part of the country where I will likely not experience the negative side of the new administration for at least a year or two. But I know for many, it will come much faster.

The current Republican party has approached queerness with fearmongering, labeling it as "pornography," and attempting to eradicate public expression of it with book and drag bans. While the past 4 years have seen this slow creep, I believe the next 4 years will be much faster, and wider-reaching. I would not be surprised if the Trump administration attempts to ban queer media and public displays of queerness on a federal level, likely under some sort of "anti-porn" law, where queerness will fall under that umbrella of "porn". And with Project 2025 very much existing, and with so many anti-queer people who have the potential to end up in very important positions, we need to get cracking on preserving the queer literature which we do have.

Now would be a good time to start getting USBs, or organizing Google Drives, and trying to get as much queer media onto them as possible. I'm not going to explicitly say that we should all just start pirating stuff at random. If we can buy books, buy art, legally watch movies, donate to organizations etc., then for the love of all that is good, do that. But with the very real threat of our existence being labeled as obscenity on a federal level, it's better safe than sorry. If a time comes where we're unable to access the resources that we need and the stories that we love on the internet, their survival offline will be crucial.

At the end of the day, we will survive. We have the rights that we do have at this moment because our predecessors fought for them. They lived through worse than this, and while it will likely get bad again, we'll survive just as they did.

Linking to two resources that I think are perfect right now, while nothing is falling apart yet:

The Internet Archive, which is a glorious free library, entirely online, with almost anything you could hope to find

The Queer Liberation Library, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit with a collection dedicated primarily to queer literature

[personal-progress-dropout]

The Rainbow Sheep III

I have complicated relationship with my gender.

Like many people who grew up in the church, I was raised with a strict concept of gender—there were men and there were women. Gender was determined in the pre-existence, and the gender you were assigned at birth was the gender you got. Trangenderism was, at best, a form of envy or self-hatred, and at worst, an act of rebellion against God. I wouldn’t hear the words nonbinary or intersex until I was a teenager.

Despite this, my parents were pretty easy-going about gender expression. My brother was allowed to dress up in my princess costumes when we were kids and I could buy clothes from the boy’s section without comment. There were some catches, of course—I was expected to wear a dress or skirt for formal occasions, and I’m not sure they’d ever be okay with my brother wearing anything ‘feminine’ once he was old enough to be a deacon. (He isn’t interested presenting himself as anything other than a cis guy, so I’ve never had the chance to see my hypothesis put to the test.) There was always a framed copy of The Family Proclamation hanging in our house. We had firm convictions about gender, so I never questioned my identity as a woman.

Like most things in my life, that changed when I moved out for college. I discovered a lot of things about myself—I was autistic and ADHD, I had seasonal depression, I would actually rather be a librarian than a teacher, and unlike what I had previously claimed to people, I was much more into women than I was to men, and I fall somewhere on the aroace spectrum. Above all, I discovered that my relationship with my AGAB was far more nebulous than I had assumed as a child.

I never had gender dysphoria, which I thought was an essential part of being trans or nonbinary. I was perfectly satisfied with being a woman, although the casual sexism I’d face was frustrating. And then I heard about ‘gender euphoria.’ I realized that I found joy in experimenting with gender, swinging between androgyny and femininity. I played around with pronouns, and found that being referred to as ‘they’ made me just as happy and comfortable as ‘she.’ (I’m rather indifferent to ‘he’.) When I discovered the term ‘demigirl’, I thought, “Yes, this is me.” I’ve since upgraded to ‘demiwoman’, and occasionally refer to myself as nonbinary.

I think it’s basically a rite of passage to have a gender/sexuality crisis when you’re religious and LGBTQ+. Much like the years after I figured out I was queer, I have moments where I worry that I’m actually just a cis woman who’s so empathetic to her trans and nonbinary friends that she’s fooled herself into thinking she’s demigender. Which is stupid, but nobody has ever claimed that anxiety follows rational thought.

Anyways, I wanted to share a spiritual experience I had lately: after the craziness that is Christmas and navigating through family drama, I had a chance to reflect. I was going over my imposter syndrome and how my gender identity is supposed to fit in with God’s great plan when I had a thought:

You are my daughter, my son, my child.

I wasn’t in the temple or in sacrament meeting. I was in my aunt’s spare room, lying on a crappy couch and staring up at a cat tree. And I still felt the assurance that Heavenly Father sees me. This doesn’t answer any of my questions about church policy or doctrine regarding gender identity, but it gave me hope. People may not think we have a place in the church, that we have to keep our mouths shut and fall in line in order to be in good standing with God. I reject that—there is a place for us, both in the church and in the eternal family. One day we’ll know more, and have a greater understanding, but for now, that one sentence of acknowledgement was enough.