#I could talk about this for like 10 years lol but I digress

[enbetweeen]

Your humanity is heavenly

[ceedak]

can we get a ceedak timeline 🤔 i feel like there’s a lot idk abt them fr 😭😭

yes u absolutely can i could talk about them forever and ever 🥳🥳

disclaimer: i do wanna say this is just from what i’ve gathered because i didn’t become super fixated on nfl rpf until last year </3 one day i’ll do a legit deep dive like an insane person and update with all my findings…

second disclaimer: im delusional yes and a part of me straight up thinks that they’ve had to have hooked up at least once bc i love to psychoanalyze people i'll never meet but i’ll make sure to say when i’m being fully delusional KSDJFHSKDS

putting it under a read more because i’m sure it’ll be much longer than necessary

also i will reblog this and add links to some videos!!

SO before i get into like when ceedee was drafted and such i wanna talk about how invisible string coded they are because i love shit like this sm

both were born in louisiana only about an hour and a half apart from each other until ceedee moved to texas as a child after hurricane katrina hit (he’s said he’s moved around a couple of times as kid in interviews before)

dak went to mississippi st. in college and ceedee’s dream school was LSU (rival colleges… 🚬) but he had committed to oklahoma (also they wouldn’t have met or anything in college anyway because dak was drafted in 2016 and ceedee started playing in college in 2017 but i digress it makes my brain light up anyway lol)

when dak was drafted he was projected to go like late second round/early third round of the draft but 🗿 he got into some trouble beforehand (driving under the influence) and ended up falling to the 4th round (after the front office kept trying to trade up to get a different backup QB)

dak also had to compete for his spot as a backup and was named starter after romo was injured in 2016. this was dak’s rookie year and he led them to the playoffs - almost to the nfc championship game. after this he basically took the job from romo

okay so FAST FORWARD to the 2020 draft. ceedee was projected to go top 10 and he fell all the way to SEVENTEEN so the cowboys were able to grab him then (drafted bpa instead of for need)

idk all of this is just very <333 to me that so many things managed to fall into place just right and they managed to find each other on the same team out of THIRTY TWO teams it makes me weeeep 🤧 also just something else that i think is very cute because i truly am a little insane: ceedee was born april 8th and dak’s jersey number is 4 and ceedee’s is 88 so 4/8 ALL THE DOTS CONNECT SOMEHOW…

so we’ll go through a teensy bit about dak i suppose and then ceedee this won’t be too long

dak: baby of his family and has two brothers. his parents divorced when he was little and he was very close with his mom before she passed away in 2013 (he’s started a foundation since then for cancer research and suicide prevention/mental health). went to mississippi st, cowboys starter his rookie year, etc etc. he also lost his brother to suicide in 2020 and he’s said before he feels a responsibility to live on and carry his and his mom’s legacy throughout his life. he’s like suuuuuper underrated in the league i feel and a lot of cowboys fans are complete assholes to him all the time it makes me so mad cos they could literally never ever make me hate him - he makes me so weepy 😭😭😭 umm but yeah he’s donated a ton to children cancer funds too and donated during BLM protests and things like that - he won the walter payton man of the year award. he just had a baby and got engaged in october (remember for the yaoi LOL) ok im gonna stop here cause i don’t wanna rant too much lol

btw i know what you are dak prescott:

ceedee: MY BELOVED… my favorite my absolute favorite. he has two brothers and two little sisters. idk if he’s the eldest or not tbh i see different things all the time that he’s the second eldest whatever not that important i guess. so blah blah college blah blah - he wears 88 on the team because that’s considered really special to the cowboys franchise and is reserved for elite receivers. idk he’s the most beautiful man ever and he does a lot of donating too - i know he participates in a lot of football youth camps a lot to help kids out and he likes to provide meals to families around thanksgiving and christmas time. a loooot of cowboys fans have criticized him for not being that much of a leader and pouting a lot on the sidelines (which he does sometimes… my mimir) but i think this last season he’s reaaaaallyyy taken a step into more of a leader type position especially with dak being out and he’s proven himself more than enough. he LOOOVES spending money on clothes it’s so cute… gonna be a sad day when the class war happens and i’m faced with cedarian lamb. ummm i also legit think he’s gay and closet is made of glass but whatever

see this is the problem i never stfu but okay CEEDAK what you actually asked about ksjdksjdks

PRE-2020 SEASON: this was before ceedee was drafted (some stuff i found last night) and this is what i mean when i say i haven’t done like a deep dive into these things bc i’m sure there’s soo much more but this kinda gives the general vibes

“I was like a little kid at the playground,” CeeDee tells us. (on the first time Dak texted him to invite him over to his house, says it was surreal.) august 21, 2020

and i actually hunted the exact clip down where he says this: (will reblog with link - skip to 4:25 he talks for like a minute or so - sorry the audio’s funky it’s because of covid so all the reporters weren’t in the room i’m pretty sure) DELUSIONS: you can’t tell me ceedee wasn’t nursing a crush here idgaf

2020 SEASON:

ceedee’s rookie year

personal stuff happened with dak before the season started - this is when he lost his brother to suicide and he’s been really outspoken about mental health since then. on top of that he broke his ankle during week 5 of the season (and tried to snap it back into place by himself on the field). dak was performing on like a sort of insane level before the injury happened so </3 what could’ve been and all that… the what-ifs of it all… so that year they weren’t able to play together as much

Oct 11, 2020: “CeeDee Lamb said he texted Dak as soon as he got out of the shower. Thanked him for everything he’s done for him and they were gonna hold it down for him until they see him on the field again.” (after the game dak got hurt in)

POST 2020 SEASON:

"He came back from his second surgery about two months ago so he’s walking around, rehabbing, doing everything right," Lamb said Wednesday. "It’s great to see, especially when you seen him go down. You saw the look in his eyes and you saw how sad he was and how much this game meant to him. Just to see him smiling again, happy again, being with his guys is a great deal."

"First day he kind of caught me by surprise with his arm strength," Lamb said. "He knows the little nuances of the game to be better. He makes it easy to follow him, if you will."

2021 SEASON

ceedee’s second year, he was in a WR room with amari cooper (currently on the bills) and michael gallup (now retired) blah blah season happened whateverrrr but AFTER this season the front office (i’ll always be mad about this lol) traded amari to the browns for a 5th round pick 💀 hence THIS!!! which i consider the #Real beginning of ceedak:

“Dak Prescott asked for CeeDee Lamb’s locker to be moved next to his: ‘My two other locker mates left, so I was a little lonely. With him being young, hopefully he’s my WR until I’m done playing. Just bring him closer, more conversations, he’s right there to talk and communicate.’”

said he had no doubt ceedee could become his "main guy"

here’s some fun stuff i found from 2021 too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3hCmIZN-YI&ab_channel=DallasCowboys (7 min mark this was after a game winning td in overtime against new england)

“CeeDee Lamb on game-winning 35-yard TD: ‘It was the best feeling ever, honestly.’”

2022 SEASON:

https://youtu.be/T73xGDsFiVo?si=Qn_dwK1yfnHPiMya talks about dak here at 7:50 “all i need is him” 🤧

he’s actually said this a couple times lol he says shit like “we’re all we got” about each other - he’s said it this most recent season too so <3

dak injured his thumb this season though so he was out for like 7 weeks i think i can’t remember off the top of my head lol but again another season where they didn’t get to play much together

fun 2022 stuff:

“Last year, Cowboys caked Dak in the face on the field for his 28th birthday. On his 29th today, CeeDee told us they planned to do the same in the locker room. Hoped Dak would think he was safe after no cake on the field, and then locker room ambush.”

“Scene here: Dak was talking to us at his locker. CeeDee walks past wearing metallic red lens sunglasses indoors and eating chicken. Says the key to following up ass-kicking is ‘keep kicking ass.’”

“Dak on CeeDee’s vibe: Yeah, cool as hell - says ‘keep kicking ass’ while he’s eating.”

“Dak Prescott walked by during our interview with CeeDee Lamb - QB1: CeeDee’s that dude! / WR1: Happy birthday, Dak!”

link posted in reblog: skip to 2:30 he almost says he loves dak lol also very

2023: THE SEASON OF CEEDAK!!!

https://youtu.be/7_WRIzb5fPA?si=R0TETc2qtW0IOP5P the infamous "was gonna take him out for dinner tonight" clip is from this aka what got me hooked on ceedak lol (this interview is just so good in general i love ceedee sm - def recommend watching! such a nice look at his personality)

this is where my delusions take over i deadass think they hooked up at LEAST once around this time lol maybe end of 2022 season maybe early 2023 season IDK but anyway during this year the offense was soo wack for a couple of weeks until the bye week and then ceedee made some noise about it bc he felt like he wasn't being as utilized (which is true i'm so serious mccarthy was SUCH an annoying coach lol) but quotes:

“Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb said Dak Prescott approached him and said: ‘If you have a problem with anything, just come up to me and we’ll talk about it.’ Lamb said he and Dak worked on getting on the same page their first day back in the building after the 49ers loss.”

Dak: ‘I mean, a frustrated player that feels like we all could’ve done better and feels like he can change the game, I understand it. I really do. So it’s in the sense of just communicating with him… CeeDee is a guy that I’ll never lose confidence in and trust who he is and understand why he’s frustrated. But at the end of the day, he’s a leader. It’s about him leading other guys and picking other guys up and him just trying to make sure we’re all pushing our best. That’s where the frustration is, we have to remove that. And he will. He’s a young player that’s growing by the day and he’ll only get better. He’ll be better because of that.’

but after they switched the offense around dak and ceedee went craaaazyyy - ceedee was named all pro, dak was in mvp talks (should have won it to be honest i'm sorry lamar i still love you <3) but 2023 cowboys will seriously haunt me forever lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sudQu72KDXs&ab_channel=NFLonFOX

DELUSIONS: dak announced he was having a baby like two weeks after this game SO let’s just say…. maybe…. perhaps… they were hooking up… ceedee probably knew before the public did - not saying that’s why he seems a little upset at the beginning of this clip cause who knows 🤷‍♀️ like i said DELUSIONS but… i can’t help it when the timeline timelines don’t shoot the messenger

also i do wanna mention that dak’s fiance follows a loooot of cowboys players on ig but she does not follow ceedee and he doesn’t follow her AGAIN just delusions…. but… iykyk 👀

sooo they were poppin off in 2023, ceedee was breaking records and shit, won nfc east, went to the playoffs and then i DON'T wanna talk about it i have my theories about wtf happened during that playoffs packers game but 💀💀 anyway the offseason before the 2024 season was genuinely the worst of my life because BOTH ceedee and dak had to get extended and jerry jones (who is the worst) waited until after training camp to get them both signed lol so ceedee wasn't participating in training camp at all which affected them in the beginning of the 2024 season which was a complete mess A MESS but here's some fun stuff after ceedee signed his extension/during that offseason

“Remarkable. That’s who CeeDee Lamb is. … He’s special. He’s just getting going and as long as I’m here, he’s gonna keep stacking these records year after year.”

“CeeDee Lamb strongly defended Dak: No one deserves the criticism that he gets. The way he gets talked about is crazy.”

2023-2024 OFFSEASON:

worst months of my life lol ceedee was holding out for his new contract and didn’t get it signed until like… august i think? anddd dak was signed fucking three hours before kickoff the first week of the season lol i HATE this front office

but here’s some fun quotes after ceedee was signed:

CeeDee Lamb: “We were texting quite a bit. Obviously I missed being out there, competing with him… for is being so in tune together and all it takes is one text message or one conversation, one phone call… for us both… having the same passion for the game, same love for the game. I want what’s best for Dak and vice versa. Shout out to him too for getting that bag, too. We’ll be together for the next five years.”

Dak Prescott on CeeDee Lamb’s added muscle weight: “He’s wearing a lot more sleeveless shirts. As long as the speed is there, and it looks like it is (in practice), I’m fine with however big he is.” LMAO??

Dak Prescott: “I peeped the biceps. He’s wearing more sleeveless shirts now.”

Dak Prescott recently on CeeDee Lamb: “He’s talented. He works hard. He’s special. He’s the best receiver in the league for a reason. And I’ve seen Instagram videos. I know you’ve seen him. He’s working. And he works hard. So I have no angst, no worries about when he gets here that we’re not going to pick up where we left off. And when you're a stud like that and you’re smart like he is and you’re good at communicating, that makes that process that much easier. So it’s not like we’ve got to build something. We’ve got that. We just got to reignite it when he gets here.”

on how much ceedee worked with dak at the field at dak’s house even though he was staying away from the team: “Often. I would say quite often. Anytime that I’m back in town, and he’s obviously back here, I hit him and then… it’s very… good having a rich quarterback.”

Dak Prescott’s thoughts on the tandem of him and CeeDee Lamb being compared to legendary duos like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice: “I think that says a lot just cause we’ve only done it for four years and you just named some of those duos that did it for their whole careers. But then again, I feel like we can be better than all of them… so love the comparisons, they sound good and all, but hopefully one day people are saying these next duos and next tandems can be like me and CeeDee.” (i will kms over this quote one day)

i’m sure there’s things i’m missing but this is already sooooo long lol so

2024 SEASON:

WORST SEASON OF MY LIFEEEEEE / ceedak angst era

the front office set this team up to fail and let like a ton of players walk in the offseason, didn’t use free agency, injury riddled team, had a bunch of rookies starting but anyway just gonna go game by game really quick because this is when i was locked tf in and it’s more recent so ?? more detail seems alright when it's necessary also i wrote so many half-finished post-game fics this season to cope with how terrible it was i’m cryingggg it was insane

cowboys vs browns: i was at this game :) good game they won

cowboys vs saints: blocked this game out actually!!!

cowboys vs ravens: fake ass comeback also the game ceedee CRASHED OUT on the field lskdjslkdjsskjdsk which is so funny bc i literally love lamar sm and was so excited to watch but… my players wanted to make me MISERABLE

this was said a day or two after the game by ceedee (bc he fumbled during it and then wasn't there for post game media people andddd was yelling at dak on the sideline 🗿)

“Our relationship has, if anything, gotten stronger. Don’t let what, what’s out there fool you. We’re brothers to the end. We know that we all we got, and I tip my hat off to him. I got the utmost respect for him.”

“So with that being said, everything is gonna come out - the energy, the passion, the love, the fight - and then we’ll make up in the end. So no, no craziness now. Don’t.”

dak also said something about his rhythm with ceedee being a “rare feeling” which… okay internalized homophobia but i CANNOT for the life of me find the actual quote i’ve searched through my gallery but it’s not there </3 if i find i’ll add later (i’m pretty sure it was after the baltimore game but i can’t remember)

cowboys vs giants: this is a tremicah game no need to mention ceedak idt - nasty ugly win but whatever

cowboys vs steelers: dak prescott giving me a heart attack 12 fucking times during this game

cowboys vs lions: don’t wanna talk about it! i’m a hater! always will be sorry!!! ben johnson statpadding on my sorry ass terrible team i was SICKKKKK

BYE WEEK: my trials and tribulations…. my nfl rpf…

CeeDee Lamb on getting in some extra work with Dak Prescott during their bye week: “We love our bye weeks. We took advantage of it. We got right. We used every opportunity to get better and I feel like it’s going to show. We got on some routes, and obviously the timing is everything. We needed that.”

now ummm this is the week dak got engaged so. which is really funny because after the announcement post on ig ceedee went GHOST on instagramksjdjks like i went back to check because i’m crazy (these are delusions btw) and he had been posting like once a week… maybe once every two weeks PRETTY consistently like for at least a couple of months but after the engagement happened there was pretty much nothing for like… almost two months?? ummm which AGAIN i’m not saying anything i’m not insinuating anything buuuuut…… buuuuut….. also it’s really fucking funny because in this same interview ceedee dropped that he left the country during the bye week but didn’t post it on socials at all so i’m like ohhhh… you’re coping w the engagement… i see LMAO anyway

cowboys vs 49ers: sigghhhh….. lets get into it

SO this was a loss but two ceedee touchdowns.. i’m leaving with something!!!

“Yeah, I found CeeDee,” Prescott said when reflecting back on Lamb’s breakout in the Bay Area. “He did a good job of getting open, running all of his routes hard no matter where he was, if he was the one or if he was backside on a concept. Loved his intentionality in the game. He kind of said something like that to me during the game, midway through the game, like ‘Yeah, we’re back.’ And that was before, I think, his two touchdown drives. So just him even playing with that confidence, communicating that, it gives me a lot of confidence.”

super hopeful right maybe they'll really connect again and things'll be fine LOL

cowboys vs falcons: worst game ever dak tore his hamstring off the bone like a fucking idiot and ceedee sprained his AC joint and would not stop going back out into the game i was ready to kms

cowboys vs eagles: not talking about it idc

cowboys vs texans: loss because ofc but whatever ceedak hugged before the game tho so i didn’t gaf about the loss - i can’t find the clip rn but if i do i’ll post it

cowboys vs commanders: this is when i accepted they were tanking and then they decided to just be elite for whatever reason lol made me so happy though ceedee was so happy <33

cowboys vs giants: whatever

cowboys vs bengals: worst fucking game of my life nothing to do with ceedak but one of my other fave player’s (i also ship him w ceedee idgaf) knee EXPLODED so that was so much fun to deal with

cowboys vs panthers: i still can’t believe bryce young decided to forget how to play football in this game im crying

cowboys vs tampa: again they just wanted to be elite for whatever reason

cowboys vs: eagles: don’t wanna talk about it idc

cowboys vs commanders: WHATEVER thanks for the 12th draft pick ashton jeanty you will be a cowboy

SO. that’s basically where everything's at lmfao worst season EVERRRRR with ceedak ANGST um but yeah hopefully 2025 will be better... i’m cautiously optimistic because their old coach is finally FINALLY gone because he was really limiting them and their ability you know? 2023 season was amazing and then 2024 started and it was like… mccarthy just reverted back to his old scheme that wasn’t working. it was really annoyingksdkskds. but the new coach (despite it seeming like a silly hire) had a decent press conference (that ceedee didn’t attend bc he was playing around in paris LOL) andddd he seems to be setting up a nice staff around him so hopefully hopefully hopefully 2025 is a lot better and ceedak will save me again… can’t wait for training camp omg

anyway if u read all this i’m SO sorry i hope it’s… expansive enough?? i wanted to include kind of how it’s been through the years and i had a lot more to add for 2023/2024 because that’s when my adhd was just like Yea let’s hyperfixate on this so. been stuck here for awhile and i’ll probably be stuck here for years and years and years <3

[minniiaa]

Hehehe, I was hoping you'd like that idea though I don't think I ever saw your puppy Law post, I'll look for it at some point lol

As for the reason behind Law's sudden shift in affection… I didn't think about it until now. I woke up with a mission and nothing more! But now that you mention it, I have formulated a few of my own theories and also have chosen to take one of yours and run, sprint even.

I really like the idea of Law, who's been surrounded by death since he was barely double digits, suddenly gets hit with the weight of mortality. He never got the time for a grieving process, his parents and little sister died while he was trying to survive exactly what killed them and I doubt a 10 year old of any academic achievements could process that by himself. Cora died as soon as he was given a chance, a reason to hope again, Law was beaten and scorned at 13, he was tired but he couldn't bring himself to disrespect Corazone's last wish by allowing himself to die. He lived for years not for himself but for a man who risked it all for him, for parents who never got to see their son become a doctor, for a sick little sister who waited in a closet for her big brother, Law grew up living for anyone but himself because if he did he would find no reason behind it. So while he sits in a secluded corner of the hospital after that day's butcher's bill surpassed yesterday's, his mind slows down to try remembering some of those faces and names he couldn't save but for some ungodly reason all that comes to mind is Lami, Cora, his parents and suddenly the familiarity of death is no longer *just death*. Now it's a crooked smile that would need braces in a few years, grey hair, and that welcomed, looming figure behind him no longer being so tall, but none of that happened and Law, for the first time in 18 years, realizes he was robbed. Maybe it's a bit silly for a doctor to feel the weight of mortality at 28 years old, it's a feeling he needed though, that feeling sending him into an upward spiral quicker than he ever thought possible.

My own first thought, however, involved a play on the interaction between Law and Sengoku at the end of Dressrosa. Law's a surgeon known for having direct correlation with one of the most cruel crime families in the country, and while he has earned the legal trust of the police, one too many of them remember Law when he was that dickhead teen, so Sengoku tries saving as much face he can with his fellow officers by catching Law alone and briefly (Sengoku is holding back a lot) tries to bestow some grandpa wisdom onto him because his boy died for the one in front of him now. Sengoku wishes he could invite Law to his empty home for rice crackers and tea, or maybe coffee, Cora preferred coffee too. Law wants to know the man who raised the one who saved his life. Did Cora get his smile from Sengoku? They could both talk each other's ears off about one man but only Law gets answer before parting ways because above all else, Sengoku wanted Law to know that his son, his Rosinante, did not save him to fulfill a mission or some savior complex, he saved Law because he saw the life in a dying boy's eyes.

Second thought features, get this, living Cora!! I actually don't care much for angst, I want angst the way I want a bandaid on my arm. I know ripping it off is more beneficial but has anyone ever considered that I'm a little bitch? I digress though. Cora is fucking estatic when Law, very begrudgingly, admitted to be seeing someone. Sure Law has been in relationships before, however Law never let him know about said relationships until well AFTER they broke up, so to hear Law talk about his current partner at all automatically has him rooting in this mystery person's corner. The long awaited question finally can be asked, “When can I meet him?”. First of all, how did he know Luffy's a guy, Law hadn't said his name yet, second, never ever in the history of ever. He can't give up though, and Cora pushes Law to introduce him, saying he'll even wait a few months into the relationship so they don't feel rushed. Luffy and Law had been dating for AT LEAST a year at that point. Cora chooses to ignore that in the moment when Law breaks that news to him. Law is, honestly, a little flabbergasted by Cora’s investment in his love life, probably tries joking about showing Cora how to use tinder before it boils down and Law has to genuinely ask Cora why he's being so “weird” about Law's romantic life. Cora… Cora kinda just deadpan stares at Law out of complete shock at the realization that Law is being serious. With a tone akinned to one you would use when explaining to a child why Fido had to go to “the farm”, Cora absolutely dumps everything Law has done that's made him worry since learning of Law's romantic life. He recognized some of the names of Law's past partners, and he recognized them for a reason. It wouldn't have taken much from Cora to make Law realize just how stupid his question is, but Cora also wants Law to know just how special this person is for them to be having this conversation now. Law has always known how special Luffy is in comparison to his past relationships, but he's never had the right words to describe such facts, thanks to Cora of course.

Overall, the idea is that someone/something happens to make Law actually process his life/mindset which in turn makes him see clearly just how much Luffy has always meant to him. I dunno if I properly expressed just how little introspection Law has had to have done for him to break at 28 but my hands hurt from typing so I pass the baton to you in this relay race.

-💫💀💫

Yes, amazing anon! This is my personal favorite of the three (probably due to the expansion of my previous idea). I love your description of Law's relationship with mortality through the deaths of his parents, Cora, and Lami. How he doesn't realize until he's so much older and instead of making him feel downtrodden and even more sad, he almost feels relieved knowing that death is no longer looming behind him. Perhaps he's realizing his own mortality and knowledge that his life can be taken from him just as quickly as theirs. Now that this has finally clicked in his head (he knows it should have years ago he's a surgeon for fucks sake he watches people die everyday) he wants to live his life and love Luffy the way they both deserve to be loved because it could be over tomorrow.

This conversation with Sengoku is something I always wanted to incorporate into one of my stories and will probably do one day when I find the right one. I wish we knew more about Cora and Sengoku's relationship, they are both such fascinating characters and perhaps Law is understanding that Sengoku helped Cora grow some of his more admirable traits, like his desire to do the right thing and his ability to love so deeply. I firmly beleive Sengoku is a good man he just is not on the side of the story that we root for in One Piece and thus we see him as a villain but that's a topic for another day. But yes, the revelation of Cora saving him simply because he wanted to see Law live and be happy is something that can allow Law to truly move on. He's always been worried about making Cora proud and doing something with his life that is of value but maybe he realizes now that all Cora wanted for him was to be happy. Now he has someone in his life who makes him happier than anything in the world and it's high time he makes sure Luffy knows it.

Living Cora is the best and I used a conversation with him in one of my fics to help Law overcome his fears and tell Luffy he loves him so I am on board with this idea fully. Cora's totally invested in Law's love life, he wants him to be happy and knows that his little guy needs more love than even he can give him. He's been quietly watching from the sideline as Law dates and doesn't even tell him. He sees Law was in clearly unfulfilling relationships and he kept his mouth shut because he knows Law needs to experience life and that some people can't find their prince unless they kiss some frogs. However, now he sees the small changes in Law since he's been in this new relationship. He's less angry, he smiles more, he just overall seems more relaxed than Cora's ever seen him even if he is still the same uptight cranky Law. So he wants to meet Luffy not just to get to know him, but to thank him for finally being the person who can make his adopted son happy. As Cora explains how different Law is from Luffy and how he can just see how much he cares for him, Law sees it too. With a little encouragement from Cora about letting himself bask in the glow of this beautiful love he gets to experience and allow it to overtake him, Law finds himself seeing his point. There's no use in trying to hold back anymore, Luffy is already his and he knows more than anything Luffy just wants Law to give him every piece of him in return. So he does. Shout out to Cora for making Law's blockhead ass stop being so stubborn.

I think Law definitely needs SOME intervening person/event he's just a man so set in his ways whose mindset rarely gets changed. He cares about Luffy more than anything but he's never allowed himself to just let go and embrace what it really means to love and be loved. Once he does, there's no going back. :)

[mrs-gauche]

Hi! Any thoughts on the 'hidden track' at the end of the Bonus DLC Tracks for the new Dragon Age Vinyl set? "D'Read Koda" can be interpreted so many ways but 'dread bear'? Coda, the musical notation? (Do you suppose there's any connection to the bear and maiden graffiti art we see several places in Inquisition [or any connection between that mural and the one from The Missing {moon atop the bear and halla horns on the maiden?}])

Hi! Thanks for the ask! :D And yeah, I've been super curious about this as well! (And also the pre-sale for the vinyl now starting at the same day that the final volume of The Missing is coming out, May 10th 👀 but ALSO everything about the cover, like the GOLDEN CITY (omg???), the enormous DRAGON (Mythal???), the vines/tree branches (like Mythal's vallaslin/visions of her conquering in Trespasser??), the ECLIPSE in the background (according to Dalish mythology Mythal "created" the moon/"An Eclipse as Fen'Harel stirred"??), the summit/mountain beneath it (!!) and that single hooded person (with a staff resembling the headpiece of one of the two figures in the 2020 teaser mural/symbols in the new cinematic)?? The potential LORE revelations on this thing are absolutely bonkers, but I digress! 😂)

Anyway! I actually thought something similar when I first saw that mysterious hidden track name, that it has to be some kind of anagram or wordplay, given how much BioWare LOVES to do those and also with the musical term "coda" being spelled with a "k" for some reason, but what stood out to me especially was the random apostrophe that's in there, since the devs are also known for their (internal) "disputes" about the extensive use of apostrophes in DA for the elven language and names. lol

So to me the odd spelling plus the random apostrophe points more to it being an anagram for a specific elven term, but I have yet to decipher what it could be. 🤔

My second thought was if this "hidden track" could actually just be the final part in the "extended version" of the Lost Elf theme (starting at about 10:13), but then I looked up the game's files and noticed that this specific tune actually plays (though only once) when you first get to the Darvaarad and the full piece is about 2:40 minutes long (the hidden track being only 1:08), leading me to think this is probably what's titled "Qunari Atmosphere" on the tracklist. And after going through all the Trespasser music files I could find, there was nothing hinting at something like "D'Read Koda" either. :/

But you're right, "Koda" is also a term in the Dakota language meaning "friend/ally" or "little bear", but I'm completely at a loss as to what that could refer to. For all we know, it could be a reference to frigging Storvacker. 😂

As for your second question though, since you brought up "The Bear and the Maiden" painting/mural in connection to the mural in volume 3 of The Missing, there are actually a few other interesting aspects to this that I've been thinking about, but before I start rambling get to that point, let me just put the rest under a cut so people don't get spammed with an exhaustingly long text post. lol

First off, for reference, this is the painting we're talking about, featured in various places throughout DAI!

People have made quite a few speculations about this imagery over the years. For one, given that it is not exclusively found in elven ruins and filed under "Fereldan art" in the game's files, some people assume it could depict an old legend of the Alamarri. Others have suggested that it's actually just a little easter egg in reference to the "The Bear and the Fair Maiden" song in ASOIAF. lol

But by far the most popular take on this, is that this is depicting the elven gods Dirthamen and Ghilan'nain. Based on Ghilan'nain's sacred animal being the halla and the lady with her all white appearance and her antlers kinda resembling one as well. And Dirthamen's sacred animal being a bear (among others, I think). Which would pose the question though, why these two are portrayed in such a way, when there's nothing in the lore that could give us an explanation?

To me, it almost looks like the maiden is trying to calm the bear down/keep him in check, who has gone out of control and is now turning into a wild beast (that can apparently also breath fire? lol). With what we know of Ghilan'nain now, it's definitely possible that her horrifying experiments and creation of all kinds of freaky creatures might have inspired such imagery.

So, while I can see how you could draw a parallel to the mural in volume 3 with the way they're positioned/embrace each other, I don't know what else to derive from this, other than that it would point to the bottom "red one" being Ghilan'nain and the "green one" being Andruil and not the other way around, or that Andruil was maybe able to shapeshift into a bear? lol But if we're going with my assumption that the bear is losing control over itself, maybe it could refer to the stories of Andruil succumbing to madness from hunting the Forgotten Ones in the Void. As opposed to the mural in the comic, where they seem to be rather peacefully in love (to me at least).

But while we're at it, let us go back to Ghilan'nain and Dirthamen's potential connection real quick (because I've been thinking about it 😶)! What's interesting to me, is that these two have actually been mentioned together in the lore, too, looking at this ancient elven writing for example that is only revealed to you when using Veilfire at the Temple of Mythal:

"His crime is high treason. He took on a form reserved for the gods and their chosen, and dared to fly in the shape of the divine.The sinner belongs to Dirthamen; he claims he took wings at the urging of Ghilan'nain, and begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him."

"For one moment there is an image of a shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes, whose form may be one or many. Then it fades."

So there we have the two being involved in what appears to be a judgement on someone serving under Dirthamen, because of Ghilan'nain's actions. While we don't know how much of this actually happened, it definitely makes you wonder about their intentions here. Why would Ghil do this? And why specifically to someone serving under Dirthamen? What was the outcome? And what does this tell us about their relationship? (And now that I think about it, what if this sinner was actually the bear in the mural? lol)

As for the sinner himself. Now, I don't know about you, but when I reread this codex again after several playthroughs, particularly the “shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes” at the end, I thought “Wait. That kinda reminds me of something......”

Look, I know it doesn't appear that way when looking at my blog for like five minutes, but I certainly don't think that every single codex entry on elven myths should be automatically assumed to be about Solas. 😂 That being said, I can't help but feel like there's a connection to be made when looking at this other ancient inscription, that can be found in the final chamber of the Solasan Temple:

Faintly carved into the stone is a figure bound in chains. Two other figures have turned their gaze from the central image.

The script below the image is ancient, though Solas is able to provide a partial translation:

Pride in our accomplishments and in our hearts. That same pride became (a word meaning corrupted or altered) within him, he sought to claim (indecipherable), cast from favor and so he was bound.

Hidden from mortal eyes, death lies within.

To me, this text always seemed to perfectly match up with the ancient writing in Mythal's temple. A person being judged for claiming (godhood?)/daring to fly in the shape of the divine (a dragon?), put in chains and "bound" as punishment (by Elgar'nan?). And again, there are two figures involved. If the events of these writings do connect, was this "sinner" the one belonging to Dirthamen, taking wings by the urging of Ghilan'nain and them now silently accepting Elgar'nan's judgement, making those two the "figures turning their gaze"?

The thing is, if I'm presented with an ancient elven text about someone's PRIDE being corrupted in a place called SOLASAN temple, how in the world am I NOT supposed to draw an immediate connection to Solas here? 😂 I'm not saying that the sinner in this story had to be him per se, but if the age-old theory about Solas having been a spirit of Wisdom once who somehow turned into Pride is true, then there's still the question of how or why exactly this corruption occurred? And, if anything, the story of this sinner would provide at least one possibility for what happened to someone who had been corrupted in ancient times.

"Cast from favor and so he was bound."

If Cole's cryptic comments in Trespasser are actually about Solas (and Mythal?), then it's safe to say that Solas was himself bound ("He left a scar when he burned her off his face"), which does make SO much sense, considering that he values free will above everything, his furious reaction to the Well of Sorrows is SO telling, oh and also, he lead a motherflippin Slave Rebellion. 😂

But if we're looking for further potential connections between Dirthamen, Ghilan'nain and Solas... Well, Dirthamen is not only called the Keeper of Secrets, but is also always associated with sharing wisdom, knowledge and giving counsel to those in need. His symbols also include two ravens. Wolf and raven being known for pretty cool 80s synthwave music having a special bond in many real life myths and legends.

And Ghilan'nain is the only elven god we know of who was a "huntress of the People" before she ascended to become the youngest of the elven pantheon (possibly because of her relationship with Andruil or her ability to "create" things). As far as we know, Solas was also one of the People before he "became" Fen'Harel. So they were very much alike in that sense.

There's also the tale in which Fen'Harel gets captured by Andruil, because he had angered her by “hunting the halla without her blessing”. Some people have taken this to mean that Solas made a move on Ghilan'nain or that they had something going, so naturally, given that Andruil and Ghilan'nain are believed to have also been lovers, she was not very amused about that. lol (Which would make the rest of the story even funnier, where Andruil declared to “punish” him by making him “serve in her bed for a year and a day to pay her back”. lmao)

Which brings us finally back to the mural in The Missing volume 3, that could depict Andruil and Ghilan'nain embracing each other, perhaps even romantically (btw, if you want to know why I think so, check out my post on volume 3. :D).

I kinda joked about it at first, but if we assume that this mural was actually made by Solas as well, then you do have to wonder why he would even choose to paint such an intimate moment between Ghilan'nain and Andruil, people he arguably despises? Though it'll be interesting to learn what their relationship was like before his rebellion and Mythal's murder. I mean, who knows, maybe the before-mentioned tale actually happened and all three of them made out afterwards (willingly or not). 😂 (I mean, we're still talking about immortal beings here, so what else are they gonna do all day? lol) Or maybe Solas was just the Evanuris' personal portrait/mural painter at one point. lol

Anyway, to conclude, all of this is partially why I assumed for the longest time, that the two figures seen in the 2020 teaser mural could be Ghilan'nain and Dirthamen (also the fact that Dirthamen's vallaslin matched up perfectly with the silhouette of the right figure and obviously everything about Ghilan'nain and her horrifying experiments in Tevinter Nights).

...but with everything we've learned since then, I'm now actually leaning more towards it being Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan (if you want to know why, I highly recommend watching this fantastic analysis!).

The only thing that still kinda irks me with this, is the fact that the only elven god that's known for wielding a spear like this is actually Andruil.

However, it is super suspicious to me how the "goddess" seen in this concept art seems to break out of what looks like huge ocean waves and how this "grey sludge stuff" from Ghil's ancient "pools" in Tevinter Nights was described to have "smelled like the ocean" AND the mention of (capital P) Pride in elven myths having "stopped Ghilan'nain's hand when she was about to destroy her creatures of the deep sea". 👀👀 (Also, is it just me or does the figure in the 2020 mural look like she's having algae hanging down her headpiece? Not to mention the tentacles. lol) So there's that.

Also, and I know this is the silliest reason, but I don't know if BioWare would expect new or casual players to keep up with all these long "complicated" elven names, since "Ghilan'nain" and "Elgar'nan" do sound kinda similar and people might get them mixed up. lmao So having Elgar'nan and Andruil might be a bit more distinguishable, just for the sake of making it a little easier for new players lol (I mean, they have changed names before to avoid this problem, like when the Tevinter city "Qarinus" was turned into "Ventus" because it sounded too similar to "Qunari", I think? 😂).

I don't know if any of this actually answered your question, I feel like I got carried away by like a mile. 😂 I don't know how I got from "D'Read Koda" on the vinyl to tentacles, but here we are. 😂 Those are my thoughts on.... a lot of stuff. lol

[judasisgayriot]

hello again! you once again prove yourself as the queen of heroes ramblings. you responded with so much detail so quickly! loveeee it :)

i wanna ask you more, i like getting your mini ted talks. what are your thoughts on sylar/peter as a ship? i personally don’t really see it in the show, but i’ve read some real good fics with them.

Hahaha omg I love you anon I’m glad someone enjoys hearing my unhinged rants about this show…

Soooo. Maybe the girlies will hate me for this one lol. Thing is, I can see how sylar/peter would lend itself to having some good fics written about it. Like, the concept is there, it has potential. The foundations for a good hero/villain ship are there, they are definitely set up as foils and parallels to each other, they have the whole ‘two sides of a coin’ thing going on. But like you, I don’t really see it in the show at all. It’s like they had the potential but didn’t actually execute it/make me give a fuck about it/make me remotely want to ship it, lol.

It is/was a popular ship in heroes fandom (lol heroes fandom in 2024 is like 12 people but hey) and I do see why for the above reasons. I actually think the episode ‘the wall’ is a great concept but again, they don’t sell me on it/execute it well/actually follow through on making me remotely believe they’d become friends by the end. Right before they break out, having spent what was apparently like 10 years of mind-time together in there or whatever, Peter still hates his guts and wants to smash his head in with a sledgehammer lmao?? (I mean girl same. The whole ‘peter has to forgive sylar, narratively and kind of literally, if he wants to escape the mind prison’ plot point grinds my gears. I think he should get to never forgive him ever for killing Nathan if he doesn’t want to lmao. Shout out to that one fan panel with Milo where he’s like ‘peter would never forgive him he would eviscerate him’ king you are speaking my fucking language lol. I digress.) like afterwards I can buy that sylar has latched onto Peter and wants to be his friend/wants Peter to like, model being a good person for him, but not that Peter actually gives a shit in return or wants anything to do with him lol

(Sidenote, that in itself is a rly interesting concept, and me and @buildarocketboys developed a fic idea about peter agreeing to like, ‘mentor’ sylar and hang out with him but if and only if he kept shapeshifting back into Nathan for him. Now THAT is fucked up and deranged and the good stuff and actually makes me, avowed sylar disliker, feel kinda sorry for the guy lol. Yessss let me marinate in the badwrongness of all of that and how Peter is the one acting fully insane. Anyway. I digress once more.)

Anyway I’m clearly also biased bc I used to like sylar as a character back in the day but sometime over my like 4 rewatches over the last few years he really started pissing me off lol. Now it’s not like I’m being an anti about him being an evil villain or anything, I love a problematic king and I’m a Nathan stan lmao. In fact I only really enjoy sylar when he is getting to be a proper fun cackling all-out villain, he’s actually enjoyable and funny in that mode. It’s the like 9 flip-flopped badly written redemption arcs they keep trying to give him like they’re trying to make me feel sorry for him bc his dad sold him to one direction or whatever, but sorry!! I feel nothing! He’s a whiny bitch and they should have just let him be killed off one of the first 900 times it nearly happened! I don’t have any sympathy and he’s completely lost me lol. So yeah. That does make me biased plus being a Petrellicest girlie and a Nathan stan and an Elle stan sorry I selfishly won’t forgive him for killing them 😔 poor baby serial killer I’m being such a mean hater. Stan my absolutely fucking awful morally confused self hating politician guy instead loooool

Well. All that to say that I see why people ship it, it has interesting foundations that could have led to something good but IMO it just didn’t, I can definitely imagine it has some good fic out there that can sell you on it, but I just don’t see their great poetic love or whatever. It’s soooo ‘baby’ ‘fellow associate’ core by the end lmao. And it actively annoys me. But I am just being a hater I know. Sorry to the cool petlars out there it’s all hashtag my opinion

[h20goflashnsplashsealrideon]

I have a couple reasons for liking pooltoys 👀

When I was younger (I think maybe 9?? 10?) I was alone in the pool at my grandparents. We had a classic intex whale, and I had been struggling for awhile to get on it. I was shorter back then, being a kid, and while I could stand up, it was up to my chest, so the top of the whale was relatively high up. So anyways I was fighting to get on that thing for a good 10-20 minutes.

Also, as a note, I don't get to go to my grandparents as often now. They live a good bit away, and also my mom has a poor relationship with her own mom (no blame to my mom btw, her grandma was a terrible mother lol). And it's too far for me to drive comfortably. But I love my grandfather, and their house has always been one of my favorite places that invokes a deeply strong sense of nostalgia in me. But anyways, I digress:

Since nothing had been on top of the whale for awhile, the black PVC had soaked up all the sun's warmth. Finally, I managed to clamber on top, and I think that's the most at peace I've ever been in my whole life.

I was exhausted from climbing up it, the warmth of the PVC was so cozy, and I fell asleep to the sound of the pool's ripples. Although I unfortunately don't have that whale anymore (Benji is a new one), I am transported to that same place of relaxation and peace when I'm on/around pooltoys.

They bring me back to a simpler time and place, where you don't have to think of anything like money or mortality, and, even if just for a moment, you can relax.

It took me awhile to find the community. I'd known about the pooltoys at furry conventions that people would take pictures with for awhile, but I only found out it was a whole thing thanks to Ash Coyote's video lol. The whole time watching it I felt just like when I first found out about furries lol ("omg!!! This is a thing??!?!?! There's other people who like the thing?!?! Yep this is my personality now.")

On the more nsfw side (I'll be brief dw), I'm a very texture focused person, and in my current living situation, it's difficult to have some things. It's a lot easier to explain why I have a pooltoy in my closet than something like a latex suit or other k1nk gear. But even then, it's not just convenience, it's the feeling of it pressing against you, the smoothness, the soft sounds of your hand running against the pvc. It's all just so... hot?? Also, it's a lot easier (and safer) than finding an actual person just for nsfw purposes whenever I'm in the mood (I'm a woman, so hookup culture has a lot of risks for me, and most of the time I don't care enough to bother lol)

So yea, tldr:

-Very calming experience with one when I was younger

-I'm a furry, so the aesthetic appeal is there

-Nice texture is nice

-✨️convenience✨️

Also sry if this is kinda rambley lol it's late for me and I love a good excuse to talk abt what got me into pooltoys lol

i love this so very much, there really is nothing like the sensation of just simply resting on the back of a toy. i went to a creek with my bf earlier this year and floated on the back of laguna (also an intex whale-- built for snuggling in the sun?) and was just totally blissed out.

this was a very sweet response, thank you for it :-) ❤️

[itsana004]

I have to ask for Droite for the character meme! (Or if you already got an ask for her, then Gauche?)

Ahhhh, first of all thank you so much for the ask! 💓 This one is special because it's about a minor character I care about a lot, and did for literal years and I'll do my best not to make this a paper scroll long (can't make promises). So let's roll! Here lays my truest thoughts on Droite/Dextra

•How do you feel about this character

You'd be surprised to know, but I did not like her character at all when I saw her for the first time.

She looked so... cold, had a lack of personality, unlikable boring character? Or maybe it was the fact she looked much older and more mature than the other main cast at the time, especially when she was strict? I can't pinpoint the specific reason, but there was really a time when I saw her as most viewers of Zexal see her as: an uninteresting boring minor character.

So how come I changed my mind? And got so attached to her to the point literal years passed and I still love her character?

The first time I ever saw Zexal episode per episode was probably when I was 10-11 years old on the TV, and Zexal was pretty popular in Italy back then, and I distinctively remember this character made an impression on me on episode 54 in her duel against Tron, with her solid strategy and clever tactics (and it was very unique compared to any other character), cause let's be real, this show is about dueling, if the character weren't good duelists, they really didn't stick to me in the long run (and Droite sure didn't give her best duel at all in that Droite and Gauche Vs Yuma duel, it was generic and boring to me), but Droite was doing very well against the main antagonist of that season, Tron (and it even made me root for her!) and the way he got around her strategy and the cards he used felt very oddly specific because of the nonesense rule that Yu-Gi-Oh women cannot win, so we can forget a minor character woman actually beating the main antagonist of that season (I understand the plot was needed to be driven forward with Tron as the main antagonist ofc lol but I have more thoughts on how they could have handled it better but I don't wish to digress) - anyway this duel stuck to me and as I said, Zexal was fairly popular in my town and I was talking about it to my friend, a frustrated naive young me saying how she felt about that the butterfly girl with purple hair losing and for some reason I didn't catch her name and my best friend told me it was "Drua" (from Dorowa but fandom decided it was Droite and I was confused but I found here in the end!), and then I searched her name on Google and saw a gorgeous fanart of her holding a butterfly and you could say my spiral started then (so in a way I am the way I am because of my friend, it's all her fault). From that point on I started to form an attachment to this character and pay attention to every time she appeared on screen, but boi young me was in for total disappointment because from that point on Droite was never given this kind of focus, or any development nor deliver a duel like that ever again (In Italian dub from 4kids they censored Droite and Gauche being homeless orphans being picked from Mr. Heartland so extra less scene 🤬). Young me also kept wondering, what happened to all those feelings she poured in ep 54? And I figured in the end that's a question only god knows, cause Zexal writers definitely don't, and so fanfics gave me much better answers. As years passed, I have to say I only grew to love her character more and more, I just kept learning new things about her and appreciated her character paying attention to every time she appeared from the limited screentime she had and I'm going to list some things I really love.

I was glad to learn that dueling wasn't something she was forced herself to learn for the purpose of training or for the sake of becoming stronger like Kaito, but it's something she enjoyed ever since she and Gauche discovered Duel Monsters when they were homeless orphans living in the streets (I feel like this adds more to her personality), and for them being only kids struggling to live day by day, found a little joy in their lives, and it even became their star of hope, something to look forward to in their hellish life (MY POOR BABIESSS I LOVE THEM MUCH).

I also love the fact Droite and Gauche treat each other as equals, they must have helped each other to get stronger by dueling one another, there is no air of superiority between them like Shark is towards Rio when it comes to dueling, so I assume Droite and Gauche have always one up the other to the point they have the almost same number of wins and losses against each other, and they must have spent their time mostly support each other as well. I love how she recognizes Gauche's move against Esper Robin instantly showing how close they are. WE NEEDED MORE SCENES OF THOSE TWO SQUABBLING, ACTUALLY, WITH THOSE THREE WITH KAITO, I NEED THEM TOGETHER IN ON LINE OKAY.

Also can we talk about how this girl had endured powerful electric shocks?? And joined up to the top 3 in elite duelists with Kaito and Gauche like the QUEEN SHE IS???

Also girlie just tasted tomato juice which was implied to be blood so casually what's up with that????? (That scene is so funny it will always be one of my favorites).

This woman is such a girlboss!!! Droite can casually fly a helicopter, run around the Tower like she owns it, being assertive in general a force to be reckoned with throughout the little time she appeared in Zexal, and humble her man to back away (THE NOTORIOUS NUMBER HUNTER TOO) and catch this man in his lies then HUMBLE HIM AGAIN IN THE W.D.C. AND YEET HIM FROM HER LANE (PLEASE THIS SCENE WILL ALWAYS BE FUNNY TO ME) .

Idgaf that she lost against Vetrix, she manhandled him in this duel, and not even his crest power from Barian world worked on her THIS IS QUEEN BEHAVIOUR RIGHT THERE.

Despite her lack of appearence in the second part and the complete abysmal decision to make her lose TWICE MORE LIKE IT WASN'T ENOUGH, I still appreciate the little contributions she was allowed to make.

I guess, a part of me is still attached to her for what she could have been? How she could have been used? (I brainrot about that every day) and it's painful to love a character that isn't very liked or even recognized while also completely understanding why, but I guess I still love her character and that doesn't seem it will change for a while.

•All the people you ship romantically with this character

I ship Droite with Kaito and no- I don't care what anyone says, if Zexal writers sent an announcement right now saying they will never be canon, I would still ship them because fanfics convinced me, cause some fans will always be better at writing romance than Zexal writers would ever dream to. I really love picking up from what was left and actually putting them to use by adding more things to the table to fix the mess, and I'm gonna die on this hill.

I also don't mind any other ships with Droite (as long as they are not problematic...) but one of my favorite rarepair has to be Droite x Akari (my comfort ship <3) - they haven't interacted once but they are both girl bosses and hot and I don't need any more reasons.

•My non-romantic OTP for this character

Just like I said in Gauche's one, this has to be Droite and Gauche. I refuse to see them through a romantic lens. It is true they share a lot of care for each other, but canonically Droite has romantic feelings for someone else and familial/platonic love exists, and interpreting them that way makes their relationship much sweeter and deeper in my eyes. Gauche being the only family that Droite has in a world where she was born with none will always be more meaningful and deeper to me than them being in a romantic relationship will ever be.

Another fact I forgot to mention in Gauche's one is although they don't have a specific label for each other in the sub, the Italian dub seems to be the only one where they actually refer to each other as "Fratello and sorella" (Brother and sister) - Kaito says "It's right that his sister duels", and although dub changes are not always for the best, I am fine with either one, in one they have a label for their relationship where it isn't left blank and it enforces their familial bond - (Droite says along the lines of "I'm his manager so I have to pull him out of this" in the sub - of course, she's not just a "manager", but at this point what do they even refer to each other... there is no label, and for two people who literally grew up together and spent so many years together, I find it odd - but on the other hand, these two never knew what the word family even meant when they were orphans living in the streets, and that being the reason for the lack of label to their relationship is just─

•My unpopular opinion about this character

She best girl─

•One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

(Omg this part will be so long I'm so sorry)

1 - In episode 54, I wish instead of Droite giving up and losing because of her own free will, they could have made it so that she couldn't handle the power of the crest and collapses right after she draws a card, after trying so hard to resist it as long as she did - first, it doesn't make her look incompetent or make her look bad and still makes Tron a threatening villain. Second, it leaves the outcome with "No result" and still leaves it ambiguous than a straight "Lose" because of the notorious "female characters cannot win because they suck" awful rule the Yu-Gi-Oh series has created that screams sexism and misogyny from the writers - and no - the fact that the audience for this show is mostly boys does not excuse it.

2 - She should have won the duel together with Yuma in episode 104. Zexal has a really tedious habit of making strong female characters sacrifice themselves to show their valor and significance - no - that's not good enough when it is done again and again (Rio for her brother, Anna for Yuma, Droite for Kaito and Gauche and... Yuma?) and god I hate this so much, they could have found plenty of ways to show that without making Droite lose, we already know how dedicated and devoted Droite is for the people she loves/cares about, she tried to call Gauche back to conscious several times and took the fall for Yuma several times, they didn't need to kick her out of the duel to reinforce that same pathetic excuse again.

3 - Droite, Gauche and Kaito are the three people who have the most connection with Mr. Heartland (than Yuma will ever be) as well as having actual reasons to retaliate against the late Mr. Heartland, as they were exploited and have suffered hell from him, so why on HELL Yuma and Astral were shoehorned into that frecking duel - I do not care they are protagonists - I do not care people love the touching moment between Astral and Yuma before they transform into Zexal III - they could have animated that exact scene in their battle against Don Thousand or any other duel - there was no reason at all that would explain this decision in terms GOOD WRITING - to rob Kaito from that duel - imagine: after Kaito wins the duel against Mr. Heartland, since Droite and Gauche were already in Heartland City because of Yuma's friends understanding the world was in danger, Mr. Heartland in his last efforts could have pleaded Gauche and Droite to help him and manipulate them telling them how he saved them as orphans and they are here today because of him. But to his surprise, they don't, instead they use their ace monsters to attack him instead and send their farewells, and Mr. Heartland meets his demise - heck, they could have been the ones to take over after Kaito collapses - no matter what anyone tells me, either of the two ways it's how it should have played out because all of those three characters meet a proper closure with this man, but zexal writers do not give a sh8t about any other characters except their precious main and that leads to bad writing.

4 - I'm not really a fan of Droite being Gauche's manager? My reason for that is Droite spends most of Zexal serving/helping/sacrificing for other characters and is never her own person, and to me this is one of many examples. It's fine that she's his manager but what I wish would happen is Droite starts to miss competitive dueling and feels confused about her feelings of doubt towards her current job, and so for the upcoming W.D.C. Tournament (becoming a yearly event) that everyone including all our beloved cast will participate in it, Droite takes it as an opportunity to seek answers she needs through this Tournament and is encouraged by Gauche as well to "get a piece of the action", so she participates as a competitor together with Gauche - it lets her be her own person instead of being a "cheerleader" for Gauche (she can still be supporting of him while being a competitor) + it shows Gauche and Droite will support each other no matter in what they do and there are no ill feelings if Droite decides to resign from being his manager.

5 - The complete lack of development or scenes between Droite and Kaito, heck, it might be as dry as the sahara desert, and for me to say it is very concerning, luckily for me fanfics exist! So for the "what I wish would have happened", there is a fanfic called "I'll Always Be With You" by AquaMagic.389 (is my canon now, and in the second chapter I WEPT) - yeah, that's what I wish had happened, it's just adding the little things in the flashback that can slowly build up overtime.

Fun fact: In the Japanese W.D.C. 3DS game in Shingetsu Rei's route as Droite is her opponent, Yuma tells some things about her to Rei and he literally blurts it out for everyone to know about Droite's feelings in public to piss her off lmaooo - and later with Kotori's help Droite confesses her feelings properly but we don't know what happens after that (damn I-) so another I wished is them having actually some development post-canon, who knows, maybe through a Tournament (my brainrot from "La puissance de zexal" fanfic from griffon chap 20 is showing) yeah I'm gonna stop right there.

6- Finally, the last point. Every anime ever has a beach or light-hearted episode, why couldn't we have that like a field trip?? Also, I always found it interesting Hart and Droite's love for butterflies, I wish I could see them having such a cute moment where Hart admires her deck and it reminds him of those peaceful days when his big brother and he would chase butterflies and would share about those days with Droite it's just-

I'm so sorry this post turned into a paper scroll after all, if you ever reached until here then thank you and sorry for making you read all that, take care and have a good day! And again, thank you so much for the ask 💖

[icarus-suraki]

I've been thinking about a post that's been circulating here about the subtle racism present in Western/white danmei fandom (which is definitely there, whether one realizes it or not). And it reminded me a lot of 1990s anime fandom.

First, for the record, I'm white. Just so we're clear. Okay, moving on:

The DIC dubbed version of Sailor Moon was broadcast when I was 13, in 1995 (and I jumped right on it too). Around that same time, the SciFi channel was showing a handful of animes in rotation on Saturday mornings. There were a few dubbed anime and even fewer subbed anime on VHS at Blockbuster. 9 times out of 10, no one ever really knew how to pronounce "Neon Genesis Evangelion" or "Urusei Yatsura." And the general perception of "anime" in general was that it was raunchy at the mildest and only got progressively more pornographic from there.

But as these things started to appear in the US and be available to a wider audience, all these racist stereotypes of Japan and Japanese people started to surface too. To quote someone from the time, "Isn't manga the kinky stuff Japanese businessmen read on the train?" That was the perception: it's all dirty. (Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, Ronin Warriors and some other early arrivals helped with that some, because they were clearly children's cartoons. But then we had to deal with the whole "children's cartoons" issue when looking at NGE and Miyazaki's movies. But I'm digressing and glossing over whole decades of localized anime.)

tl;dr: in the early and mid 90s, if you were a fan of anime you were very much a consumer of a "foreign" product.

So we loved it but there was a very steep learning curve when it came to actually understanding what we were watching, especially as the internet got bigger and better and we learned that, wait, there are outer senshi? There are whole other storylines?

And there was an entirely different visual language and cultural foundation to these shows (and later movies and manga and so on). Why the heck does she have a giant drop next to her head? Why is she holding that piece of paper? What does it mean to work at a shrine? A shrine to what? What's the deal with the cherry blossoms? Why does he have an expression like that on his face? What does it mean when the characters do this? And this was in the 90s, so the internet then is not what it is today. We had to fumble our way around and learn the details of these "foreign" cartoons, while contending with the stereotypes other people (usually adults lol) had about Japan, anime, and Japanese people. But we did learn! We'd read, we'd hit up the internet as much as we could, we'd talk to one another, we'd go to events and conventions and just try to pick up as much as we could. Because we were curious! We wanted to know!

We were lucky because within a few years we had Princess Mononoke in movie theaters (not many, but some) and Cowboy Bebop popped up and Gundam Wing came along and the internet got better and anime stopped being such a fringe interest and now there's better information and understanding (at least a little).

That's a long story to say that the Western danmei fandom needs to do the same thing: get down into the cultural source and learn stuff.

You have got to acknowledge that you are engaging with works from a culture that is not your own. You can't just slap Western concepts onto it and try to shove an entirely different culture into the framework of your own culture. That's not going to work. And, no, you won't understand everything right off. There's layers in here and you have to acknowledge that and start learning.

You're engaging with concepts and worldviews that are almost certainly not the same as your own, my fellow white danmei fans, and you have got to realize that. Step back from your notions and your expectations and, yes, your racism and stereotypes, and start looking at the complexity of an entire culture out of which a character you love has arisen.

Once upon a time, someone here on Tumblr wanted to do a presentation about how "magical girl" characters like Sailor Moon and Sakura Kinomoto were inherently feminist. The problem was that this person never even considered the ways "feminism" might look or be discussed in Japan. This person was imposing Western feminism on characters that were created entirely outside that worldview/mindset. Don't do that. It's unfair to the creator, it's unfair to the creator's culture, and it actually kind of stifles your opportunity for learning.

Will I ever understand Japanese culture as well as a Japanese person? Absofuckinglutely not. But I know more than I once did, which means I can enjoy more aspects of animanga than I used to. I can get more of it and I'm less likely to misinterpret the creator's intentions. I'm not that great at it and I love a good translator's note, but I can get more of some of it.

So dig in to the cultural foundations and stop shoving Western cultural concepts onto works that weren't created in that milieu. (Yes, I said "milieu!") Get curious! I am begging you to stop assuming and get curious! Ask yourself "why?" and then get to researching!

For your first assignment, stop writing fanfic where Lan Wangji sounds like a robot. He uses short, perfect, referential phrases because he's elegant and educated. In English, the most elegant characters use elaborate language. Not so in many Chinese works: the fewer and more perfectly chosen the words, and the more meaning lying within those words, the more refined and educated the character is. It's like he's so good with language that he doesn't even need to use it anymore.

At least, that's my superficial understanding at the moment. I've got tons more to learn.

So let's get learning and stop shoving our expectations, assumptions, worldview, stereotypes, and cultural baggage onto works that exist and were created outside all of that. Let the works stand on their own and learn their foundations.

[anemxvisions]

//ok my monster thoughts about the AQ

Ok first off Paimon read the freaking room omfg like please! Do you not see the state of Possion?! Like she just lost the two closest people in her life. On top of that I was crying laughing when Neuvillette showed up and clearly saw her going through it but he legit perked up and was so happy to hear how Sigewinne is doing like bruh XD

That out of the way lets get to the most talked about parts of the AQ

First the imfamous Childe throw by Skirk…honestly it’s actually what I expect from her. Listen Hoyo loves teasing us so they’re not going to show all dynamics with her. If anything this is a clear sign of her character especially as she referred to an all consuming whale as a pet. Her chucking Childe goes to show she’s not super entuned with human nature, given how long she’s been in the abyss makes sense. Bottomline I didn’t take away from the scene as comedic, yeah it got a little chuckle but after I heard how Skirk talked about him makes sense, Childe is the stray cat she found in the dumpster, stinky baby.

Moving onto the Focalor and Furina, yeah Furina needs a god damn hug and I’m taking her away from Focalor! My jaw dropped when I saw the hundreds of tally marks as she had to go through basically the same day for over five hundred years with the only thing keeping her going is Focalor’s message. God my poor bubble like she probably wanted to tell Neuvillette so many times but couldn’t I’m sobbing.

I do feel they could have hinted more at Focalor being separated, it would have made her sacrifice feel more impactful like Rukka’s but I digress she needed to be completely hidden in order to defy the heavenly principles which good for you girl. I just don’t like how Furina’s ‘reward’ for all of this is to live as a human like…five hundred years to get maybe at most sixty years? It does not seem fair or just, her suffering worth so little.

Neuvillette honestly was going through it but I’m so happy he wasn’t ‘betrayed’ by Furina like how a lot of us were predicting. I do however wished he had the like big emotional moment with her and not Focalor.

A thing I really liked is how the Fatui for once are not blamed for what happened and instead actually helped the nation out. The Knave said it best that organizations with abundances of resources should lend a hand no matter sides. She came to Fontaine first to save her home get the gnosis second. I am sensing the building blocks of her being friendly towards us for when she eventually becomes playable and yeah wincing and mourning the loss of her being the mean queen but who knows we still need Fontaine’s second world boss.

Nobody else said it but I am so mad at the lack of more Remurina lore! Like how can you heavily talk about it last quest and barely any mention of it?! I hear maybe in the future we will be getting more but I’m all huffy

So glad to see the arc was used, a small part of me felt like the arc in the fortress was never going to be used as a plot point so very glad I wasn’t disappointed.

Now onto the extra info at the end…the gnosis being the remains of the third descender is def giving JJK Sukuna fingers vibes lol like what the Tsarista gonna collect them all consume them and get the power of a descender hehehehehe…..

Anyways! Natlan crumbs and it’s the nation of war and dragons like hello!

Overall I don’t typically play Archon Quests expecting anything, I always set my expectations low so I don’t get unintentionally mad some bit I was hoping for isn’t add. I don’t really expect hoyo to really get into the nitty gritty details especially with archon quests and with a track record of many of the final acts falling short I was expecting this a fifth time.

I give this AQ as a whole a 6.9/10

The build up was great the cutscenes amazing urgency all the way until the end. There are ofc some parts where it fell flat but I still greatly enjoyed this quest.

[voyeuristicvixen]

Capt’s Log No. 42_SL’s BIG 20!

iM SuCh a NeRd ! I really do have a designated outfit for Mentoring in AND it matches Bellisaria Welcome Center. W my matching bot friend lol  I have been learning a lot as a mentor from other mentors, things about SL and the various worlds and niches you can find here. When you stay so enmeshed in your reality in SL you tend to forget just how vast it is. Its really unfathomable at times, just like they say our galaxy is continuously growing as we are discovering new parts of it, SL is a quantum realm in a way... I have to write a whole article about my views on SL and the astral world and the correlations therin. I digress

SL20B was a blast! I attended the premier of an SL documentary that was amazing, I got to see Phil Linden, Strawberry, all the OGs that was great! I love the talks that they do and all the different things that showcase how amazing SL is, the gifts and exhibits, and opportunities to volunteer and meet new people, and of course THE MUSIC!

My pops did a great couple of sets, it was really dope to see him in a different SL crowd of people that may never have stumbled upon Meroe or the Movement by themselves, that in itself is really cool to me because his sets always plant seeds for self reflection and spiritual growth and understanding. I really love when he does the cinematic spoken word because that is something unique that ive NEVER seen or heard anywhere else in my life. It is truly special my dad goes off!

Gigi, Lex, and I are usually there to support when we can! Partying it up and being the vibes! These glowsticks Lex gifted us def elevated the mood, Lex is a W stage hand. Also, I have to mention because this is something that never goes away, prejudice and racism in SL... during events like this there are always a few bad eggs that bring down the vibes with weird comments and actions towards avatars that look like us, or represent themselves with a strong spiritual and purpose led conviction. Its all about frequency, not all frequencies will mix but people on SL can sometimes come off quite prejudice or whatevs. lmao. Even self hating for some people! When you really dig into the various regions and worlds in SL you can see how perverse/self hating many of the themes can seem. Its quite interesting. Lol high going off on tangents. Look how cute Gigi and I look !! XD

I got to do my own set it was dope af “Summer Of Love” was my set theme, I put together a set that represented my time in SL thus far, I played a whole Hippie woodstock classic rock set with my favs Jimi, and all the greats. I played Grateful Dead in honor of my first home “Darkstar “ and the old hippies from the lot... XD Then I played some Drum and Bass in honor of one of my fav clubs ive been going to for 10+ years Bassline Junkies. The same folk there and say “Oi oi“ when I enter, Eon the hamster. Great fellow! Then I played house music, in honor of all the various house groups I am a member of and clubs I attend, I fell in love with house in SL, and i ended it with just some feel good jams

oh! and I did a reading for Secondlife and its residents and the future of SL how could I forget that XD yep It was a blast I kilt it . I even built the set in blender and everything!

I wore this belt as my everyday attire on my old SL avie before mesh was a thing. This was my favorite ! It has flexi fabrics that flow when you dance and walk tied on it and little pouches and gris gris bags on it. It was a very sentimental set for me tbh. It was the first time I participated in SLB and it was also the first time I used mic in a full curated set and everything.

Happy Satisfied W My New Strawberry & Patch! I got Phil and Ober bears tooo  I collected a bunch ngl XD

Mystory Connect is about to pop off, prepping for major RP vibes ! I am so ready to bring new ppl on the regions and make fun stories and tings, we been plottin and plannin! I am now the Real Estate Agent for mystory! I am super excited because these regions are so well built, you can drive everywhere, ride your bike , you can take the subway which is real working subway, its got all kinds of dope commercial and residential spots to live and work and have great roleplay in. I just love how intimate and homey these regions are, and there are always people around, but its about to be even more poppin with all the new things coming in that we rollin out!

Me and Val havin a cute lunch meeting date at ITALVIBEZ ! That restaurant is the BOMB.COM I love getting oxtail bowl, beef patties, and the guava smoothie drink!! Theres also cute sippy  cups that I get for Yemsters she loves them!! Baby ITAL eatsssss :p

[tc-frog]

march tc challenge by @tryoutstc pt. 1 :)

i'm putting off school work and i'm bored so i'll do last month's challenge for fun :D i'll do the other parts some other time

day 1: if you could change one thing about your tc, physical or personality-wise, what would it be? i would make his hair shorter so he wouldn't wear it in a man-bun every single freaking day i see him. he's way too old for that hipster hairstyle😭

day 2: are they "your type", or was falling for a person like them completely unexpected? bc it's not a romantic crush as i said, i'll answer this according to which people i usually look up to otherwise. soo intellectually speaking, it's no surprise i find him fascinating because he knows so much about philosophy, books and humanities in general

day 3: if they were an ice cream flavor, what would it be? i feel like J would be a rare/unusual flavor like lavender. i had that once and i think it would fit lol

day 4: imagine you have a whole weekend to spend with your tc. what would you guys do? i'd let him teach me about all his favourite books and philosophers, maybe try to convince him to buy some of them, annotate them for me and gift them to me haha we also don't really know each other that well, so i'd definitely just talk to him a lot, especially about my problems and how he's perceived me these past years bc i'm a nosy little bitch. there would probably be lots of late-night talks bc he's such a night owl. he usually sends out messages at like 3 am or something😭

day 5: what's their biggest talent? to digress from the formerly talked about subject and end up somewhere completely different. happens every time!

day 6: be honest: would you guys be a power couple or not? our sexualities don't align so nope lskghslkghlsks

day 7: if they knew about your feelings, would they confront you about it or ignore it? bc i don't have romantic feelings for him there would be nothing to confront - even though in one of his messages to me, he lowkey implied something like him thinking i had a crush on him and if i'm okay with our conversation but generally speaking, if someone had a crush on him i think he would overthink it a lot until he couldn't take it anymore and confront the student to talk it out with them. he would be very understanding and empathetic tho in the same message i mentioned before he actually mentioned a certain experience which, in my opinion, sounded like he already dealt with someone crushing on him in the past. i wanna know if it's true and what went down sooo bad

day 8: are they a good singer? absolutely not😭😭 i only heard him sing one time and that was enough💀

day 9: if you could choose an outfit that your tc had to wear every single day, what would it look like? hmm difficult. probably a blazer over a cozy grandpa sweater, some slacks and dress shoes. i feel like that fits his vibe

day 10: are they more academic, artistic, or athletic? what about you?

definitetly academic, but in an artistic way. he's a very unique thinker

[shawnjacksonsbs]

If the piece fits, I might still try on another. 10-19-24

"Neither political party is clean when it comes to tactics that divide our people." - Roy Barnes

or

"To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Bernard Baruch

I was typing the date, after I wrote everything except the quotes, when it dawned on me . . .that date is my birthday. Lol

In good Pawpaw fashion, I'll be at my youngest grandsons birthday party today. Is there a better birthday than getting a little time with with . . .loved ones for our birthday?

I have several family and a few friends that would gladly help you understand that taking time with loved ones for granted could cost you more than the most time.

Now, on with the show~

There are people who struggle with what they’re going to wear almost daily. I'm not talking about people who literally don't own clothes. I'm talking about those people who "feel" like they don't have anything to wear, but who go through their closets, picking through and inevitably find something like 99% of the time even though they felt defeated before they started. It's irrelevant whether or not they feel they look good or feel uncomfortable at the end. They do find something to wear.

It's similar to the people that go through their fridge, and every cabinet of their home looking for something to eat or for a snack just to feel like there isn't anything even though there is food in there. Sometimes shopping was just done. Lol. Either way, they look tireless, only to "settle" for something they probably put in that kitchen by choice anyway.

Words, these entries are sometimes a struggle for me like that. Not always, but enough.

I can't imagine people who write articles every day. I used to, ya know? Write every day.

For the first 9 months that I subscribed to this new life, way back 10/11 years ago, I wrote something every single day.

It was a lot of nonsense, a lot of struggle, and with a ton of grammatical errors, and misspellings, as most was written in Notepad not in Word, or in a program5 designed to help with a bit of automatic correction(s), but . . .

But it saved my life. I will, until I physically can not, always figure out a way to put forth an entry.

I do still talk about kindness, gratitude, and peace, and although I try to limit pieces based on religion and politics, it is hard to let it all go by the wayside.

This piece isn't meant for either of those ends, but I will say that tolerance has been my biggest battle. The "trying to show love to the unlovable" or "tolerating those who don't tolerate others" is a "for me" cause or greater good.

Both sides make me sick to the stomach a lot, and its more because of the hate and division than it is because of their belief in policies and ideologies, even an extremely large percent of those on "my side" of politics and religion do this.

Seems no one even knows what the higher ground feels like or cares anything of its benefits anymore.

But I digress. It didn't mean to veer off course.

I meant for this to be a struggle for something to wear, while ending up wearing . . .something.

And for the how and why of it, of course.

I think I've found it too. This is the word I'm going to wear today.

Do I look ok in it? Or does it my . . .ego look fat? I really don't wanna change, so please be kind.

No, really. Lol

I wonder if everyone could see past OUR differences to live in peace what that would truly look like, from the wars over seas, to the unrest among the citizenry in our country.

Peace is better earned instead of forced, but either way, it should be the goal. Right?

Keep sharing your love and your laughter with the world around you and always remember that kindnesses are a beautiful way to reflect the love we actually have in our hearts.

Until next week;

"I have no time for either the left or the right, to me it’s outdated thinking. We need to find a way to move beyond that and bring people together . . . before it’s too late

I’ve noticed though both the left and the right claim to be “for the people” one of Corbyn’s claims was “for the many not the few” which of course was a nonsense cos those who dared to disagree got lots of hate and abuse, I know cos I was one of them." - unknowingly stolen from Terry Barnes Facebook commenter

[howtowearblackinthesummer]

I officially been watching too many true crime stories bcuz there’s this girl I went to school with, who imma call Kate. Kate was a sweet, innocent girl and we played sports together. Kate got with this guy Nate and they were together until we all graduated. Kate even lost her virginity to Nate. Kate was raised by a young single mom and they were SUPER close. Like I could see them going out and getting mistaken for sisters. They were also horse girls but I digress. Anyway, Kate and Nate got married and popped out some babies. They also moved all the way across the country to Nate’s family home. This isolated Kate, so eventually her mother moves across the country to be closer to Kate.

This is where the speculation takes place since everything is happening thousands of miles away from me and I do, surprisingly, have my own life.

Kate and Nate break up after about 4 years. Kate stops posting pictures of Nate, only the kids. She rarely posts at all and when she is in it she looks…unwell. Just after a breakup, single mom, in someone else’s family home with your single mom isn’t ideal, so her demeanor is expected. It just seemed a little off.

She stopped posting videos, if she does it’s always silent, and (this could just be me) but she’s had the same haircut and picture angles for the past 10 years. Her mom still does her own makeup like it’s peak 80s but I found it endearing at the time.

Fast forward to now and she’s randomly posted about marrying her soulmate. She’s never posted this guy before. She isn’t smiling in ANY of the photos. And her mom apparently wasn’t at the wedding. The only other person she ever posted pictures with besides her kids wasn’t there. It was VERY intimate (think 10 people max including the bride groom and Kates 2 kids).

Did I mention she continued to look unwell whenever she posted herself? Her hair is EXACTLY the same as it was 15 years ago. She has dark under eyes which could be from the kids but there is a void behind her eyes now. The sparkle from her youth is gone. Idk if new guy is a Mormon or something but even he was throwing me off a bit. I could be reading too deep into this and dramatizing someone else’s life instead of mine, but I have a feeling. I know what that darkness can look and feel like.

I don’t think she’s had any time to get to know herself. To be herself. To experiment or grow. As soon as she saw Nate she was obsessed. Always talking about him after practice. Hoping the boys team would join us for dinner after games so she could be near him. Then when she got with him it was still about him. He was a bit more experienced (he was my friends fuck buddy until Hurricane Kate came through lol) and seemed to have hobbies and a life of his own, but Kates life seemed to be deeply intertwined with Nate’s.

Long story short those wedding photos and all posts leading up to it look like a cry for help to me. I could be projecting as I haven’t spoken to this girl directly in years. But she doesn’t look okay. I hope I’m wrong and she doesn’t end up a true crime story. I wouldn’t blame her if she snapped though. If I can pick up signs from thousands of miles away, Is there anyone close to her that’s Able to intervene ?

[thoughts-on-tv]

Ballers HBO Season 2 Episode 10

I hope Ricky goes to New England, mainly because I'm from there LOL but also I respect the sentiment about putting legacy in the long term over money. But honestly, it's crazy turning down the Rams in LA to go to fucking Foxborough for a 10-and-a-half-million-dollar pay cut. Also, his actor, John David Washington was real good in Black Klansman, and I found out he actually used to play for the Rams way back when which was really cool to find out. I also found out that DENZEL FUCKING WASHINGTON is his pops which is wild to me. I mean the name shoulda given it away but Washington is a very common last name. No wonder he had such an easy time transitioning to the industry though bros dad is literally denzel. Hes a really good actor though deserves all his success and all that.

Why does this dude Spencer refuse to take care of that hip? First, we had dude worried about his brain health (which I'm not all the way convinced is doing too well), then he's over here getting cortisol shots on that shit while the doctors are talking abt the ball and socket are rubbed raw. Every time I get a stuffed nose I reminisce on days I could breathe clearly, I can't imagine hobbling around like that ... just get that shit fixed you get paid minimum 6 figures bro. and don't give me no shit like "Oh I'm busy I can't fit it in" cus he has his whole rock bottom moment at the end of the episode and the season ended on him getting it fixed. Also he likes them pills too much.

Charles is spending mad time at work so his wife gets a nanny, but that man is too attractive. I think if you're gonna be a nanny you shouldn't be fuckable in the slightest cus that's just a recipe for disaster but I digress, the news near the end of the episode about his promotion and being on the road for a few months is wild though, he gotta put his family first, his wife legit just had a kid smh. That fuckable ass nanny gonna be walking around raising your kid man that's tragic

Lastly, I find the ball player cameos in this show so funny cus I don't really watch football like that at all despite having played for a few years, so I don't recognize 95% of the people they bring onto the show for guest appearances. I just kinda get confused as to why the show is calling so much attention to this random dude. Half the time they cant even act they just end up looking mad stiff.

edit: I should make these shorter

[lost-in-wond3rland]

Being on tumblr really just feels like being adrift in the middle of the ocean

It really does feel like no one else is on this hell site which is kind of great because I never feel bad about shit posting lol I don't think I've done anything BUT shit post about my current hyper fixations in YEARS lol (case and point, me re-blogging a bunch of red white and royal blue posts the other day because I finished reading the book and would like the movie now please-)

I forgot I used to write on here sometimes, or that I even could. Was it ever anything substantial? Nah. Just musings of a usually v depressed and out of wack teenager.

I am now a slightly less depressed out of wack adult lmao

All this to say, read at your own whim or risk or whatever. It's the internet dude, do what you want.

I'm starting grad school in a little over a month, and I know people talk about how daunting that is all the time. But what I haven't really seen is people talking about going into a program that has n o t h i n g to do with your BA. I'm essentially doing a bit of a 180 with my studies, and where everyone else has loads of experience, and knowledge, and is just so stupid fucking smart, I...

Well, that's just it, isn't it? The trail off. The ... .

Not to say (among other things) that I'm not "smart" per-say. I'm not dumb, I know that. But these people? Mannnnn, you guys should hear and see some of these people. It is nothing short of terrifying.

I've been feeling very Elle Woods in her "coming here was a mistake" era lately. But when I try to explain that, it's usually the same "don't get intimated!" "you're all just starting!" "you're going to be fine!" etceteras etceteras. Not necessarily untrue, but not necessarily true either.

I'm going into a program where I am leaps and bounds behind literally everyone. People older than me, people younger than me, doesn't matter. And it feels like as hard as I work, I'm always missing something. Always 10, 15, 20, 100 steps behind everyone else. We just had a month of an online intensive orientation where we were interacting, and talking on discussion boards, and doing homework... And somehow, I still cant get everything fully right. Down to choosing the wrong kind of photo to go on my fucking introduction slide. Like come on! Seriously!? I can't even get that right? It's...

Yeah. It's.

So here I am, sitting on my bed, with my smart lights set to purple, in a too big Spider-Man cardigan, with a Taylor Swift lofi playlist going on youtube, contemplating yet again how the fuck I got here.

I made the joke to my mom that I was just the diversity pick. She didn't find that nearly as funny as I did. I digress.

We're... working on it. Kind of, at least. Pretending to, more accurately.

I just feel... like I'm in a constant state of having to prove myself, because nothing is ever enough. Nothing has ever been enough. I have worked so hard to the point where I have been on the brink of passing out before and even that still was not fucking enough.

Enough for who? For me? For my parents? For the metaphorical "them"? For anyone? I don't know. All of the above?

For that, I have no concrete answer and yet piles and piles and piles of evidence showing that nothing has in fact ever been enough.

I'm complaining too much, aren't I? I know it's not. World ending. There are bigger things. "People are dying Kim!" I know (also no, my name is not Kim, please understand the reference I'm begging lol).

Just some casual almost 9pm thoughts I guess.

I have work tomorrow, had the day off today. I started a new job and of course that happened at the same time as the online intensive so maybe that exasperated all these feelings since I really have had not a goddamn clue as to what has been happening for almost a month now but. I digress. But the job is going pretty okay. Slowly, I've been able to start to figure that out. And I somehow made it to the Eras Tour this weekend which was mind meltingly amazing. So I shouldn't complain. I really don't have anything to complain about at all.

And yet.

And yet.

And yet.

Well, I'm gonna fuck off and read some fanfic now. If for whatever reason someone tortured themselves and made it to the end, whats your fic poison of choice lately? I've been reading loads of Irondad & Spiderson fics. Give me Peter "I take care of everyone but don't know how to take care of myself because I think I'm fine" Parker and Tony "100% has a heart and just wants his idiot pseudo son to realize it's okay for people to help you" Stark all day.

...does that reveal too much? Eh. It's fine, I'm fine.

-Seven

07.24.2023

[dingleberry-art]

just remembered i have free will and can post about whatever i want so here's a little bit about living with adhd i guess (and funny/ annoying stuff i hear from people who don't have it) btw this is only my experience, and i can ASSURE you this isnt all of the adhd experience. warning, kinda sad lol (and now ive finished typing, long asf!!)

a big issue is motivation, like HUGE. My adhd causes me to have MASSIVE instant gratification problems, and several years in a row this has impacted my school. If a task doesn't give me satisfaction immediately it genuinely is painful to try and start it. I have so many art projects, sewing things, crochet, etc that almost feel like doing schoolwork if im struggling that week. I have been known to doomscroll for 7-9 hours IN FRONT OF MY ASSIGNMENT AT MY DESK because it feels like asking my body to hurt itself just to start work.

cont of the last one sort of: Wasted time (AGHGJSHGHGJA). I lowkey believe I could have done so much more with my life if I could just sit down and focus. Luckily ive gotten into the mindset of "keep pushing forward, you cant change the past" but holy shit its a killer. Assignments that take 5-10 minutes take 5-11 hours to START, and in these hours of procrastination i am NAWT enjoying myself at alllll. Its 5-10 mins of scrolling, almost start crying because i CANT JUST START, then back to scrolling, repeat. Plus what hurts more is that once i do start, it really only does take those 5 minutes

Now one that i dont really see! negative talk that comes with not getting diagnosed (oh brother this guy stinks!!). I'm gonna be short and sweet with this one because when I used to say this stuff to myself I lowkey believed it. A lot of stuff I repeated at my worst was "why can't I just do stuff like everyone else, what is wrong with me, why can't I just focus, Everyone can do this why can't I, etc" and what PISSES ME OFF!! is that SOOOO much of this is repeated/ planted by outside sources!! but i digress...

Hyperfixations! either amazing or atrocious!! Mine have never been terribleeee but they def get extreme! (for those that don't know a hyperfixation is a interest that DOMINATES UR LIFE for a few weeks, to a few months. Happens in autism too i think? and special interests are specifically autism and last yearsssss)

Fixations can be really fun and a lot of people i know say that it makes them feel like themselves, and gives them a purpose! but there is also a really not-fun side to them, some wild stuff ive experienced while hyperfixated: -can't go to the restroom/do anything embarrassing because of a feeling of the characters watching/judging you. -Stomach hurts if you see something from the hyperfix, or some sort of painful physical reaction. -Only work you are able to do is related to/correlates to hyperfix (I finished a project where I got to draw gravity falls the day I was assigned it, and I also got given a project from the same class 3 weeks ago and haven't started) -getting physically angry at slander/hate even tho it isnt that serious fr -internal monologue changes to a characters voice/a certain accent. You UNWILLINGLY imitate a characters little mannerisms without trying. -this one is funny but during my anime phase i watched so much subbed that I heard a commercial playing and thought they were speaking utter gibberish for 3 minutes then realized it was english and i had just gotten so used to Japanese w/ subtitles

Some stuff i heard other people go through (tw for sh on the last one) -Neglecting hygiene

-loss of friends because they can only talk about it -Failing entire courses or becoming severely sleep deprived -hyperfixating on problematic people or topics (you can't really control what you hyperfixate on, that's actually why I haven't watched shit like hasbin hotel or even skibidi toilet as a joke) -even in very EXTREME AND RARE cases, cutting because of the media, carving characters names, etc. and to stress this again, hyperfixations can literally give people purpose in life!! they aren't always bad! but i really don't see people talk about the downsides, and coming out of one feels like losing a part of yourself, the reason to be motivated in the first place (and this is also why I do think its important that non-neurodivergent people don't use the word to describe their interests)

other random stuff i guess

coffee/caffeine makes me tired asf, adhd meds and caffeine are both stimulants! thats why a lot of undiagnosed people actually use it as a makeshift medicator without knowing

for me personally, getting diagnosed SAVED MY LIFE but ill talk abt that in a sec

I will want to respond to your text SO BAD but it feels scary to me, like another thing on the to-do list even tho you could be the loml it would still take me 2 hrs of distracting myself to respond

ive seen a few people say that having untreated adhd feels like/goes hand in hand with depression, and while i dont think this is factually true, thats what it feels like lol

Adhd also gives you rejection sensitivity (not the official term but who cares), basically getting criticized or ridiculed feels like a straight insult at your character. felt definitely more as a little kid but can confirm BIG TIME!

another note to the sensitivity: it is very valid and real, before being medicated id cry once a month at school over small shit. I mean i still do occasionally, but i think EVERYONE i knew as a kid has seen me cry at LEAST like 7 times. also like every time i see someone describe the adhd experience well i start BAWLING. plus as a kid my youtube recommended was FULL of "how to stop being so sensitive, how to stop crying when told ur wrong, stop crying at school so often" videos

I never realized how much I cut people off when talking till someone pointed it out and I looked it up, yup its adhd

I was wondering why it got quiet a second ago but i actually never had any music playing, I just kept repeating the same song in the background of my head whilst typing this (peewee's playhouse intro btw) dunno if its an adhd thing but i see a lot of people talk abt hearing multiple dialogues at once.

meds can also be annoying asf but that can go for every mental illness. When i started mine i slept through the bell in 2 of my classes lol. (Plus i definitely need to up my dosage because it just isn't working as well as it used to.)

**btw dont be reading this with adhd by the way and think your like, doomed. Genuinely THE MOST bubbly, kind, and just downright creative people I know have adhd. i know it feels like a curse a lot of the time but please push through**

ALRIGHT!! now on to some stuff ive been told by people!!

this first heartbreaking quote was from my best friend. We were talking about our least favorite teacher (who had adhd, but my fav teacher also had it lol) and she goes "yeah i think all people with adhd are just annoying" the funny thing was that this was ALSO the day I had to tell her I was going to get checked for it so thats fun! pair that with good ol rejection sensitivity and we have a phrase that repeats in my mind once a day lmao. (dw shes been informed a lot more now and i dont think she remembers it but i corrected her on it)

second one! much more recent, my father was getting checked for autism (alr has adhd diagnosis). To prove to my step mom that him getting officially diagnosed wasn't a huge deal, he asks me "getting diagnosed really didn't help you haha right?" i just responded "lmao no it changed everything" because i don't think an appropriate response at the time would be "it literally prevented me from kms :))"

INFAMOUS ONE from my teacher! He was filling out my adhd referral form but he literally didn't pay enough attention to me in class so he just had me come up there and fill it out with him instead. The questions were "on a scale of 1-5....." and he would SAY THE QUESTION AT NORMAL VOLUME IN THE SILENT CLASSROOM "Does this student struggle with depression!! Does this student have violent tendencies!!" (not to mention a lot the questions were all geared to 10 yr old boys) then i would give him my full and honest answer, and he would say "well everyone has that!" and put THE NUMBER BELOW THE ONE I GAVE HIM. i swear bro he either needs to understand the questions arent for him, or go get diagnosed lmao.

*BUT ANYWAYS* thank you for reading this thing holy moly. I probably forgot so much and its 1am oops! hopefully this made someone feel seen or made someone semi-understand the struggle. Its just a lot of the time I see it downplayed as "ooh squirrel!!" while it has legit destroyed my life at points, and isn't any less serious as other well talked about conditions (obvs not as bad as other stuff but yk what i mean)

alright thanks again, bye!!!

I need someone to invent a machine to give anyone adhd for a month because if I hear “no I get it! I get distracted sometimes too!” one more time I might go batshit insane.