#otp: that's why I like ya

[coolauntlilith]

Every now and then I replay the first episode of VLD and I wonder why I thought it be a good show lol

[askastarion]

Altaire's lips curl into a smile as the Tiefling grasps the hand that was on his, intertwining their fingers together before a small laugh escapes his lips.

"Star."

A nickname Astarion insisted he only share in private escapes Altaire's lips with such tenderness, "But you're touching me right now, aren't you?" He inquires with a playful softness, now pulling their forheads away and holding up their hands as proof.

Altaire's other hand slowly trailed down Astarion's face, his fingertips tracing the pale elf's features—the way his brows furrowed when Astarion was upset, his sharp eyes that were surprisingly round in shape when he let his guard down, and his laugh lines that crinkled anytime the vampire spawn smiles. Finally, Altaire's thumb brushes over Astarion's soft lips before pulling his hand away hesitantly as he plops his head down onto the man's shoulder, murmuring, "You've always been someone worth saving. And I would do it a million times over if that means it'll free you from the shackles that bind you."

-@astariondisapproves

Astarion sighed and smiled at the nickname. It was a short and sharp exhale of relief, his body expelling the grief and anxiety on behalf of his mind that was so desperate to cling onto. "Altaire..." he sighed, in a voice that carried so much more than just breath.

"It was a metaphor, you silly thing," he chuckled and leaned forward slightly even as he pulled away, feeling the warmth of the other's hands on the chill skin of his face, even from that distance. "But, yes... I am certainly glad I am." the vampire-spawn hummed before moving forward slightly, pressing his lips delicately against the fingers of his companion. Not quite a kiss, more just to feel his touch once more.

He let Altaire brush his features. He knew it was how he saw, and understood what was around him, how he felt what Astarion was, but it was difficult to stop himself from letting his breath catch at the touch. When Altaire lowered his head onto Astarion's shoulder, he hesitated just momentarily, before enfolding him in his arms. "With you here, I'm closer to believing that than I ever have been," he sighed.

[previous post]

[leslieseveride]

tim replicating this look stiles gave lydia when if lucy gets shot in the finale is something so personal to me.

[captainderyn]

Last mass effect post for the night but I’ll be the first to say I don’t know what Ryn finds sexually appealing about turians lol. She doesn’t know either.

I think it’s less a “wow look at this sexy bird dino man with the sharp teeth let’s climb him like a tree” and more:

1) she definitely finds his voice and personality sexy. Duh. It’s a given. You can’t not head that voice and go damn.

2) Their attraction morphing out of deepening feelings. They were best friends, you can’t change my mind. Feelings came first before the sexy appeal (on Ryn’s behalf anyway, probably Garrus too)

4) Then came this mutual sort of curiosity. This “we’ve both got feelings that would lead a step further if we were with our own species…but?”

5) cue them stumbling into the reach and flexibility and sparring conversation. Completely accidentally tbh. Mouth move before brain thinks moment.

6) End of ME2 comes around they decide what do we have to lose annnnd…the rest is history.

[2for2long]

yk if ur friend has a PLATONIC PARTNER who they LOVE VERY MUCH and u TRY TO PLATONICALLY DATE said friend and u get rejected bc they are ALREADY VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE then get upset and say u were joking i hope u DIE

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Angel Dust: "How come Niffty put ME in the angel kill on sight group and not YOU, toots?!"

Vaggie: "No idea. Maybe she just likes me better?"

Niffty: "STAB STAB STAB!"

Vaggie: "Or uh, likes you better. So much she want's to stab you."

Niffty: "STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB-"

Angel Dust: "Niff- DOWN! Sheesh! Go look to ya right- go get Vag-gay over there!"

Niffty: (giggling) "ANGEL STAB! ANGEL STAB!!!"

Angel Dust: "GEEZE! Like sure my name's Angel an' whatever, but I ain't an angel?? I don't even got the wings for it! YOU look jus' like an extra bitch with your wings and eye so what the fuck! What gives!!"

Vaggie: "Wow... That's, actually a good question, Angel Dust."

Angel Dust: "YEAH WELL WHAT'S THE ANSWER MY GRIP ON THE RAILIN'S SLIPPING!!!"

Vaggie: "Hey Niffty? Why are you hunting him and not me?"

Niffty: "Charlie told me not to~"

Vaggie: "She told you not to... what?"

Niffty: "Hunt you like an ANGEL! Because of the TRAUMA, right??"

Vaggie: "Uhh, the-"

Niffty: "You're already SUFFERING and if I stabbed YOU for being an angel you'd just feel lame and sad and boooo like you deserved it even though you don't. BLEGH!" (pouts) (sticks out tongue) "Boooooring!"

Vaggie: "Yeah?" (smiling) "Charlie said that, huh."

Niffty: "She's so nice~ She didn't want me to waste my time~"

Vaggie: "Yeah. She. She really is the nicest person ever."

Niffty: (SIGH) "I guess you two match. You're not a very good BAD GIRL are you? Even with having been an exorcist! What a WASTE!"

Charlie: (hugging gf from behind) "I know right? I love hugging her around the middle! She has a very lovely everything!"

Niffty: "NO!!!! NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

Vaggie: "Waste as in wasted bad girl potential, babe, not hug zones."

Charlie: "Oh!"

Niffty: "A tragedy." (heaves sigh) "Oh well..."

Niffty: (turns) (lifts knife) (Grins) "Ohhhh Angellll Dusssst~"

Angel Dust: (SCREAMING)

Vaggie: (softly) "Charlie..?"

Charlie: "I don't think she can really reach him up there... Hm?"

Vaggie: "Thanks. The... the angel thing..."

Charlie: "Shhh." (squeezes) "You are NOT the stabable kind of angel. Even Niffty gets that. See?"

Chaggie: (watches a gleeful knife waving niffty bouncing around under a terrified and dangling angel dust)

Charlie: ".... um."

Vaggie: "Damn she's catching air."

Charlie: "And Angel Dust's grip is a bit less than I thought it'd be. Do you think you should maaaaybe use your pretty angel wings to save him?"

Vaggie: "Fuck no. Let Husk do it."

Charlie: "Husk??? Why would Husk be the one to-"

Vaggie: (pats charlie's hand) "You've got your ships babe and I've got mine."

Charlie: "Oh please- I kow you think Pentious being sweet on Cherri is cute too! I've HEARD you give him tips!"

Vaggie: "Those? Just survival tactics."

Charlie: "More like how to survive liking a girl tactics."

Vaggie: "Well I guess me and you are in the same boat there anyway... Aren't we?"

Charlie: "A ship not a boat and always, Vaggie. Always."

Angel Dust: "WILL YA SAPPHICS STOP CUDDLIN' AND WHISPERIN' SWEET NOTHIN'S AND HELP ME!?"

Niffty: "ARE YOU AN ANGEL CAKE??? ARE YOU DONE? LET ME STAB YOU AND FIND OUT!!!"

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: "So where's his Husk in shining armor?"

Vaggie: "Sloshed armor. I never said it was a good otp, sweetie."

Charlie: "I'll check the bar. You?"

Vaggie: "Will make sure Angel Dust doesn't end the night with more holes than he started with."

Charlie: "I'm gonna miss hugging you the entire time I'm gone~"

Vaggie: "Me too. Hurry or I'll leave our porn star to his fate."

Angel Dust: "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE LET GO ALREADY!"

Niffty: "You FIRST!!! MUWAHAHAH!"

Charlie: (slowly letting go) "The things we do for our friends..."

Vaggie: "Hey, look on the bright side. We can have another heartfelt make out session once we're meet back up again."

Charlie: "-HUUUUSSSK WHERE ARE YOU? FUCKING WAKE UP! THERE ARE ROMANTIC EVENT FLAGS GOING OFF ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE AND I WANNA KISS MY GIRLFRIEND! HuUUUSK!!!!!!!!"

[signanothername]

What do you personally think of ships in general as a whole?

Do you like them, dislike them?

Or do you not mind them until they hit certain limits?

(I don't personally ship things because it feels off for me, but what's your opinion on it?)

Tbh with you Anon romance is extremely overrated and i’m not really a ship person hchchchc

Like even when there are certain ships i like (hell Afterdeath is my OTP), I don’t really seek them out if that makes sense, if anything i do quite the opposite, I actively seek out art/fics that focus on platonic relationships cause that’s what i enjoy, like YAS BITCH USE THAT POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!!! Also family (whether bio or found) or any other relationship type that doesn’t really involve romance

That’s why you don’t really see me draw ships, I don’t really care for shipping at all, but I wouldn’t mind ships if they appear in an artwork or a story and I can even enjoy them sometimes (depending on how the art/story handle them), hell some romance concepts can be really cool and i love to see different interpretations for them (i love when characters are hopeless romantics for example) however, they still won’t really hold much meaning to me as i’m very detached from the concept of romance as a whole

So basically

[siriustaylorsversion]

isolation blues - taylor swift x reader (part-3)

faceclaim- selena gomez i am so so flattered by the love that these posts received so i'm turning this into a series... enjoy part 3 and i'm looking forward to your feedback <3

part one, two and four

𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖇𝖑𝖚𝖊𝖘

taylorswift

taylorswift When the pen is out of ink and the muse is on vacation... Taking a break from writing to write about not writing... irony much? liked by yourname.official, gracieabrams and 7,556,004 others.

yourname.official (song)writer's block hits different... also, did you just call me a muse?

y/n_sink CALLING US OUT ON BEING SINGLE IN A MILLION DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.

folk.more MY OTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sadiey/n.forevermore this is all i needed, i'm CURED.

blakelively 💕🧣

itsnotashley THE SCARF SHFBJSK

yourname.official

yourname.official the muse is enjoying her stay in dubai...

liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams and 8,40,700 others.

taylorswift I MISS YOU

taylornation always 💘 tomholland2013 blink twice if you're being held captive.

tomholland2013 why are you being so cute on my fyp, ew.

yourname.official why are you being homophobic, spidey, ew. y/n.sink MY FAVORITE DUO HDSSKSKSKSK

zendaya gorgeous woman 💖

yourname.official HAH @tomholland2013 yourname.official also... right back at ya <3

bestbelieveimstillbe_jules: my eyes have been blessed, omg 😍

user: MOTHERS ARE MOTHERING?!?!?

blakelively: you’re so photogenic, i can’t

yourusername: 😘😘😘

yeswhalee: soMEONE CHECK ON bLonDie!!

jackantonoff

jackantonoff taylor, you'll be fine 🙄 liked by yourname.official, taylorswift and 503,050 others

taylornation i think i recognize that studio...

yourname.official WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. IN. MY. STUDIO. @jackantonoff

taylorswift I NEEDED MOTIVATION AND IT REMINDS ME OF YOU jackantonoff be grateful i'm handling her without you, woman. y/n_sink AAAAHSBJDBHJABJA IS NO ONE ELSE SEEING THIS??

swiftafboi THIS IS SO... NEW MUSIC????

yourname.official the legends are together 😮‍💨 swiftafboi OMGJNFABUYFBQ I LOVE YOU

gracieabrams favorite people ✨💕💕

swift.updates

swift.updates TAYLOR SPOTTED IN DUBAI OUR MOTHERS ARE FINALLY MEETING liked by y/n_sink, forever.more and 108,090 others.

y/n_sink WHAT SHE LITERALLY FLEW TO DUBAI OMFG

forever.more IF THEY DON'T GET MARRIED ISTG-

imamastermind REAL sweetnothingg I WILL STOP BELIEVING IN LOVE.

yeswhale I AM CRYING I NEED PICTURES 💘💘

yeswhale AADJHDAWAHAAAAA STORY UPDATE AAAAAJJJDBHHSJ itsnotashley IM SO HAPPY BOTH THE MOTHERS ARE THRIVING

@yourname.official added to their story!

taylorswift

taylorswift but it's never too late to come back to my side 💙💙 liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 10,02,800 others

yourname.official this was the best surprise i've ever gotten 🖤

y/n_sink DOROTHEA??? HELLO??

forever.more THE DOROTHEA LYRIC IM SOBBING

zendaya this cured me <3

blakelively pretty pretty women

yeswhale I AM CRYING AT THE CAPTION

yeswhale DOROTHEA IS ABOUT MOTHER, CONFIRMED?

tags to the people who asked for a part 3 (should i make a part 4?)- @sapphicwitchlover @prongsantler @taylorscat1989 @arealfangirl25 @karsonromanoff @ihatepeanutss

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

thoughts on episode 2 (SPOILERS)

Oh don’t  tell me we get Sylki this episode 

OH MY GOD THEYRE WEARING TUXEDOS

MARRIED COUPLE LOKIUS

oh god no not Brad 

HA LOKI SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM

Mobius you’re such a dummie

B15 MY BELOVED

OHOHO GET FUCKED BRAD

Mobius is gay panicking

BRAD WHAT KIND OF RUN IS THAT

OHOHO MAGIC

WHERE DID YA COME FROM WHERE DID YA GO WHERE DID YA COME FROM COTTON EYE LO

MOBIUS IS GAY PANICKINGGGGGG

*sings along to the theme song*

Ohhh b15 you’re lookin fine

There’s a jail in the TVA??? I forgot about that

bring it to my son

OUROBOROS WHERE ARE YOU

SON

Aww he talks to himself that’s cute

So smart

He’s gonna get so fed up with people bringing shit to him when he wrote a whole book about it

Sweet Casey

Married couple Lokius building their IKEA bed

CASEY READ THE GUIDEBOOK! WE STAN A GREAT BOI

I’m going to fight Brad

Brad is so right about Lokis character but damn Mobius going to defend him is kinda gay

Why do I feel like Brad is talking directly to me when he’s talking to-

DONT TALK ABOUT FRIGGA I WILL MURDER YOU BRAD

The sass on lokis tone I’m going to cry

Mobius reign in your boyfriend

Loki is scaring me actually

That sounded kinda sexual Loki my man

YOURE RIGHT BRAD

THERAPY

MOBIUS’S PET?

Yeah Mobius who were you

Oh jeez

Mobius is about to flip out

HE FLIPPED

Loki caring for his husband <3

Following each other <3

KISS NOW

THE PIE SCENE

Awe Loki with his little legs crossed he’s so adorable around Mobius

Yeah you lost it baby

Comfort your husband Loki

WASNT TACTICAL??? BABE YOU ATTACKED NYC

Talk about your feelings Mobius

Why would you thank him for kidnapping you Mobius?

Felt that about bad and good lemme tell ya

Would you quit it about Sylvie

OUROBOROS!!!!

Don’t get hurt baby I’ll cry

Uh oh

UH OH

BRAD????

Is he dead?

Aww man he’s alive

Round two of what babe

NEED ANOTHER SESSION???

HARDBALL TACTICS?!!!??!

WHAT ARE THESE WORDS YOURE SAYING

Big machine

He’ll torture you babe

Remembering things for their husband this is cute

Uh oh Loki what are you doing

LOKI STOP IT

LOKI 

stop asking about Sylvie for the love of god

ENJOY YOURSELF?!

Mobius you’re so sweet

YEAH BRAD DONT BRING UP A VILLAIN’S MOTHER

Kill him hon maybe we won’t have to deal with his dumb ass

Terrible awful things 

He’s lost his shit I love it 

Loki please this is going too far

Okay nice we made Brad suffer and Loki is being everything Mobius could want in a boyfriend

Mobius was in on it?!

OB WHAT DO YOU MEAN WERE GONNA DIE

*gasp* OUROBOROS AND CASEY MY NEW OTP

HES FANBOYING

AWWWW BABIES 

oh no world is dead

*sings McDonald’s jingle*

Where’s my wife

Awww she’s so proactive I love her so much

NO NO NO NOT SYLKI PLEASE NOT SYLKI

One Unhappy meal please

Talk less Loki 

Can Sylvie drive

CORRECT OMG MY WIFE

THIS IS MY BELOVED 

Leave her alone Loki please

Advertisement 

OH MY GOD MOBIUS IS ON SOME SYLKI HATE

“It’s cinema thank you very much”

Murder

QUICK CHANGE WITH SYLVIE

THEYRE KILLING RVERYTHING

IHOHO MURDER

COMPROMISED OF CIURSE BABY

OH NO

call your boyfriend Casey

Don’t hold hands

NO

uh oh

Bye bye Sylvie :)

Oh she’s back

What are we looking at

Oh no…

Those are people!

Uh oh Sylvie’s angry

I might as well just make a harem of marvel women I want to wife me up 

Don’t pull that Sylki bullshit on me

Mobius is sad Loki go comfort him

At least Sylvie had her life

Does she have a friend?

What’s going on between those two?!

I’m so confused

Post credits???

Why not?

[touyas-multi-purpose-saline]

15 and 19 for Thewo for the soft ship prompts.... Please, I beg you....

cw (prompt 15): Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Ketchup Not Being Used Correctly, Horseplay, Use of Masculine-Gendered Nicknames, Gender-Neutral Reader.

cw (prompt 19): Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Mention of the French (tm), Use of Masculine-Gendered Nicknames, One Spicy Joke, Gender-Neutral Reader.

author's note: I really hope that you like these! I had a lot of fun writing for Sero. Hopefully these prompts are to your liking—Sero is a pretty silly guy. These were prompts from the "Soft OTP or Self Ship Prompts" list and can be found here . Prompt 15 will be under the break, and Prompt 19 will be under the other Sero photo. REQUESTS ARE OPEN—CHECK PINNED POST FOR CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR. Please only request one or two from this specific prompt list just to make it easier for me! Thank you.

PROMPT: 15 (Write about your ship spending a lazy afternoon together).

PROMPT: 19 (Write about your ship going on a casual date).

word count (prompt 15): Approximately 1.1k words.

word count (prompt 19): Approximately 1.7k words.

“Pass me one of those ketchup packets, will ya?” 

There’s a soft thwack to the ground whenever your head rolls to the side. Hanta lays on his back on the bed, but his arm now dangles from its edge, fingers brushing the floor ever so slightly. Both of his eyes are closed, and that goofy grin’s luster is a little dull. Napkins cover his chest, a few dark smudges against the paper from where he had previously wiped his fingers. One of your eyebrows cock, your vision ever so slooooooowly glancing down to where the tiny pile of ketchup packets sit, only mere whiskers away from his hand.  

You blink. 

“Bro. They’re literally… right there. By your hand. Why don’t you grab one yourself?” 

Hanta’s head seems to creak like a rusty door desperately clinging to its hinges. That grin starts to spread a little, but it’s by a mere fraction, and his eyes slit open just a smidge. He snorts. 

“That’s no fun. Can’t a guy want to be spoiled?” 

A sigh so heavy and dreary spills from your lips, tumbling out with the weight of the world. Amusement dances across Hanta’s face, and you pointedly squint at him before turning yourself to rest against your side, arms flopped outwards. 

“I think you just want to make me be your errand boy. Look, your nails are touching one of the packets. Just. Take one.” 

Hanta shakes his head slightly. 

“Nah. Too much work. I need my lovely, lovely, loooooovely sweetheart to hand it to me.” 

You’re not frustrated, no, not at all. However, that look smearing across Hanta’s face is getting to be a little too smarmy and you’re starting to feel the need to really give him something to smirk about. Your eyes bounce between the pile of ketchup packets and Hanta’s face a few times, slowly, deliberately, and you swear that his eyes open wider and his fingers curl further with each glance. Oh, he’s so getting it. 

“If I hand you one of those packets, you’re not going to like what I’ll do.” 

A shrug of shoulders, a wide smile. 

“Eh. I’m not too worried as long as I get that ketchup packet.” 

The fires in your eyes ignite, and something sinister paints your expression. Hanta misses it because you swerve your hips fast enough so that your body basically slides across the ground, hand outstretched from a packet. You manage to snag one between your middle and pointer fingers, and another spin of your hips has your knees and palms flat on the ground. The sounds you’re making seem to awaken Hanta, and shock pops into his eyes like confetti and both of his eyebrows explode up his forehead, those bangs loosely scooting to the side. You’re pushing yourself up with a gust of wind, and once your feet bend at the right angles, you’re pouncing. 

Hanta releases an anguished yell, but it doesn’t stop your evil ways. He flails his limbs, but you’re dodging every swipe, napkins flying everywhere. One of your knees thunders against the bed of Hanta’s opposite side, and you use that momentum to fling yourself atop of his body. He groans before his limbs turn to jelly and he goes limp, the surprise draining from his face before he deadpans. He stares at you, a look of disbelief now staring right at you. 

“Did’ja really have to do that? It seemed a little excessive to me, man.” 

Devilish thoughts, a set of horns beginning to poke out of the crown of your head, a pointy tail with an arrow tip starts to curl into a heart shape. 

“Well, I just thought I’d spoil you, ya know.” 

Hanta blinks. 

“Ohhh, no. Oh, no. I don’t like what you’re implying.” 

A few giggles escape you, bubbling like fruit and nectar in the back of your throat. You start to carefully sit up, gentle and easy with your movements. Hanta follows your every move like a pointer, paw bent and honed in on prey. Once you’re balanced as best as you can against Hanta’s stomach, you reveal the ketchup packet. You smile sweetly before your fingers start to gingerly tear off a corner. 

“What exactly am I implying?” 

Hanta hums out of discomfort. 

“Mmm, I think you’re about to terrorize me.” 

You gasp, totally in offense. 

“I can’t believe you think I’d do something like that to you, dawg! Don’t you truuuuuust me?” 

Hanta grimaces. 

“No.” 

A flutter of your eyelashes, butterfly wings, and that sweet smile of yours gets even more saccharine. 

“Good.” 

Hanta opens his mouth to question your response, but it’s too late. The corner of the ketchup packet is off, flung into the horizon, and you're leaning forth to that agape mouth. You’re too quick for Hanta, so all he can do is wail in agony whenever you flip the packet upside down and shove it into his mouth, right between his teeth. You start forcefully squeezing the packet, draining its contents into his mouth, and Hanta’s words come out as gurgles and distraught howls. His hands are flying around, and you notice he shoots out a few strips of tape, but you’re sly and slick, so you just snake your body around his projectiles. 

“Isn’t this what you wanted, Hanta? Where’s the fun in this now, huh? Don’t you like being spoiled?”

There’s mirth lacing your tone, but it’s cynical and sarcastic, and Hanta starts to sink into a mush the more ketchup spills. Two streams start to leak down the corners of his mouth, and he’s closed his eyes in acceptance and defeat. 

Once you’ve completely wrung the packet dry, you withdraw it and sit back, satisfied. 

Hanta swallows, and swallows, and he does it a couple more times even though there’s no more ketchup. Then he smacks his lips. Then a line creases between his brows.

“Oh, yeah. Love being spoiled. But… do you want to know what I love even more?” 

There’s something owlish to Hanta’s tone, something that makes you wonder if you should even entertain his inquiry, but the simp in you caves. You thoughtfully tilt your head to the side, lips pursed. 

“And what’s that?” 

Suddenly, Hanta’s eyes are wide and filled with flames of vengeance. Fear grips your heart, and you realize that you’ve made a huge mistake whenever his hands grasp your waist, the tips of his fingers touching the small of your back. It’s all over whenever Hanta starts to launch himself off of the bed, a victory cry revving in his chest, and the both of you cast aside onto the floor with one broad scream from Hanta—

“I think you’re looking a little hungry. Here, lemme feeeeed you!” 

And the last thing you see before it all goes dark is that ominously looming pile of ketchup packs.

“You’re kidding me.” 

Hanta shakes his head. 

“Nope. I’m totally serious.” 

You glance down the busy street, bustling with hundreds of people, swarming shops, crowds shoved against one another. Hot weather beats down on your back, sizzling it, warming your skin, glistening with sweat. Loud cacophonies of people speaking, children screaming, honking cars, screeching tires, serenading music—so many things, too many things happening at once, and your head is spinning whenever you lock eyes with Hanta again. 

���Dude. I’m not going to do that.” 

A faux expression of hurt crosses Hanta’s face and he pouts slightly, but it’s all a ploy to make you give into his dastardly whims. 

“C’mon! It’ll be a great adventure, an amazing bonding experience, and it’ll be sooooo romantic.” 

You squint. 

“For you. I don’t feel like going on a wild goose chase. Can’t we just go to the little café and skip this nonsense altogether?” 

A set of arms fling into the air, and Hanta releases a groan. 

“It’ll be boring! Look at us: we’re all dressed up, wearing our Sunday best—” 

“You’re literally wearing baggy pants with a shirt that’s so white that I can see each line of your abs. Do you really think you’ve got it in you to look French?” 

Hanta hums, crossing his arms, and then he shrugs. 

“Sure, why not? Anyone can throw on a beret and put one of those long candlestick cigarette tubes in their mouth.” 

“I think you’re looking for the words opera cigarette holders.” 

“Man, who actually cares to know the correct terminology? We just need it for the aesthetic.” 

You blink, eyes wider than the moon before you slice both of your hands out, appalled. 

“You want to look French, and yet you don’t even know the official name of one of the objects you’re looking for!” 

Hanta pivots around on his heel, loosely  shaking his head, choppy black locks swaying in the stiff summer breeze. He stalks off, leaving you to follow his cues, which make you groan, but you begrudgingly follow after his disappearing figure. 

“Fine. But if I suddenly have a baguette in my hand—” 

—

The dinky little store is tucked away in the corner of an alleyway. If you didn’t turn your head at the right angle, you would have completely missed it. It looks odd, very rustic and rundown, but Hanta doesn’t seem bothered by it. A curved staircase of three steps arches into the cylinder shaped entrance, and a hollow thump follows after Hanta’s every tread whenever he ascends and grasps the round doorknob. The door screeches whenever it opens, which makes you wince. Hanta’s thousand yard stare and everlasting wide grin doesn’t flinch, and he just enthusiastically bounds into the threshold. You emit a soft sound of displeasure whenever you enter, and your body completely stiffens whenever the door swings back harshly and slams shut behind you—the jingling of bells finally registers. 

Now that you’re inside, you can’t help whenever your eyes turn further and further into saucers, shiny and glossy with wonder and confusion. It’s dim in here, and the lighting is yellow-orange, like the dying rays of sunshine. It’s homely, and it’s full and hard to navigate through. But Hanta doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, he keeps walking, whistling softly and swinging his hips around casually. 

“This seems like a great spot to look for French cosplay. Keep your eyes peeled and we’ll be ready to drink free complimentary water at a pretentious café in no time.” 

You shake your head, a sigh. 

“Sure. I’m positive that…” 

You quickly survey your immediate vicinity before you keep speaking. 

“Puppy dog figurines with equally miserable puppy dog eyes and… used… traffic signs… will supply us with all we need.” 

Hanta chuckles softly, shoulders bouncing. 

“Have some faith! Just follow me, I can feel it. I know we’re going to score.” 

He’s not stopping, so you know there’s no use in trying to talk him out of his dastardly schemes. Another glance at your surroundings spurs you forward, and you’re slightly spinning your body while you look around, watching carefully where you put your feet. 

There’s almost too many things to keep track of what all you’re seeing, but it doesn’t take long for Hanta to stop. You thump into his back and emit a sound of confusion, but Hanta’s gesturing to the side and grimacing. 

“Oh, God. I can’t believe they have a corner dedicated to that.” 

When you look, it’s a corner filled to the brim with creepy clown figurines. There’s dolls, plushies, puppets, and everything clown related. They look old, like something out of the early Industrial Revolution Era, and dirty with grime. All of the fabric, thread, and porcelain are smudged against the lights on the ceiling, and you make a noise of discomfort. 

“Bro. I feel like if you got too close, you’d end up breathing in some toxic chemicals. Like pesticides.” 

Hanta’s eyes widen by a fraction, and they shoot back and forth quickly before he mumbles. 

“Well, shit, we’ve gotta get out of here. I’m not dying from some mystical gas curse.” 

Hanta turns fast, and you follow, and the both of you are still walking away from the corner. As you walk, you can swear you feel their eyes on you, following, and you shudder. 

“I’m surprised they’re not levitating after us to drag us back to their evil dimension. Like. That one Goosebumps episode, uh, The Haunted Mask?” 

“Why would I know what you’re talking about? Do you think I’m in for a scaaaaaare? I’m thinking more Cabal.” 

You shake your head, 

“The Nightbreed weren’t all evil! All of those clowns were definitely evil.” 

Hanta goes to retort, but his mouth falls agape and he flails his body a bit. His hands fly out to you, and he’s tapping his palms against your arms and shoulders. 

“Look! Look! Dude!” 

You’re trying to twist your head around to see what Hanta’s freaking out about, but he’s grasping your hand and spinning you around faster than the speed of light. A strangled choke leaves your lips, and a heavy case of whiplash smacks your temples whenever Hanta starts dragging you along. Whenever you’re finally able to see what Hanta’s enamored by, you notice it’s… 

“Spiderman?” 

Hanta flings his arms into the air. 

“Not just any Spiderman. This is the old stuff, the real deal, the bee’s-knees.”

“Hmm. All I can ever think about whenever I see classic Spiderman is that one game where you awkwardly walk around in sewers for a long ass time before you manage to squirt webs onto that lizard guy.” 

“The Spiderman Plug-N-Play: Escape From the Sewers level? You’re no fun. I know you know more than that.” 

You’re staring at the collection of Spiderman again.

“Yes, I can totally see more than the plug-n-play. Like… the really. Uncomfortable. Hyper-realistic painting of Andrew Garfield… caressing a… is that a self-insert?” 

You and Hanta stare at the painting for a solid moment. 

“Holy shit. It is a self-insert.” 

Hanta immediately begins cackling, and you’re giggling before you shove into him, attempting to push him away from the Spiderman collection. You’re stumbling on your toes, and Hanta’s eyes are blown out while he cackles through the reality of the painting. If you don’t keep Hanta moving, the painting flashes in your mind and you nearly wither from it. 

“Nope. Corner just lost all of its validity at that. We run now. I’m not really wanting to accidentally come across smut in there. How did no one notice what that painting was?” 

Hanta tries to strike a sexy pose, rubbing his fingers across his collar bones while he smears a stupid smirk across his face. 

“I don’t know… Andrew Garfield’s not really my type, but… Doctor O’Hara…” 

You wail. 

“No more Spiderman for now! Let’s focus on our French cosplay!” 

The laughter hasn’t quite died within your chests, and that’s when it happens. Hanta’s head angles in just the right way, and his face melts into something sincere and surprised. He pauses, and you lean into him, and then you follow his trail of sight. And there, in the distance, surrounded by a halo of glowing light from the Heavens above, is exactly what you’re looking for. 

You bob your head in a rhythm, both eyebrows bouncing along. 

“Huh. What are the chances that we’d find two matching monochrome striped shirts with deep maroon berets right next to each other?” 

“Who cares? C’mon, let’s get ‘em before someone else swooces us.” 

Hanta’s holding your hand again, fingers laced, and pulling you with him. This time, you’re not as stiff and confused, and you’re happily skipping behind him, light on your feet and flouncing. Excitement is vibrating off of Hanta, the rays tickle your mood and you can’t help but feel adoration whenever you observe his features. Even if you didn’t really want to do all of this extra work, and even if it felt short-lived given the circumstances, Hanta was all worth it in the end. And whenever the destination is crossed and the both of you are standing directly in front of the French cosplays, you watch his grin for a few more fleeting seconds before you stretch your hand out for the long-sleeve dangling from its hanger. 

“This is so epic. I can’t believe it actually worked.” 

Hanta blows a puff of air from between his teeth. 

“Pffft. I knew it would. You’ve gotta trust in the Sero more often, babe.” 

You hum. 

“Perhaps. Here, let’s just get these.” 

The hanger is within your clutches, and you’re reaching for the beret next. Hanta’s already swooped up both of his items, but it feels like time is beginning to slip into slow motion. It’s so strange, and eccentric, and you can’t help but feel your brows pinch together whenever the pads of your fingers brush against the faux wool fabric. Hanta’s watching you, and the anticipation builds before you wiggle your fingers beneath its inner brim and lift. 

And there, hidden beneath its depths, a 

baguette. 

Silence. 

“Oh, come on! Hanta, I told you that if I had a baguette—” 

But Hanta’s laughing brashly before you can finish, the baguette glittering underneath the light. 

[gothamite-rambler]

Selina and Bruce being my OTP

Cheetah (on a phone call with Selina): So, you're with a rich man?

Selina: Yeah, we've been together for... um, years.

Cheetah: Color me intrigued is he hot?

Selina (with a brief pause, then eagerly): …Super hot!

Cheetah: Yas queen! Wait, is he daddy?

Selina (giddy): Oh, yeah, he is.

Cheetah: Good for you! As long as he matches your freakiness in a healthy, consenting way, I totally support it.

Selina: He is all of those things. Thanks, girl.

Cheetah: Girl, us cat girls have to stick together.

____________________________

Damian (coloring in his book): Selina, we need to work on your thieving. You’re dating a rich man; why keep stealing gems?

Selina turned to Bruce with a raised eyebrow.

Bruce: He's read your case file because he know I'm not dumping you anytime soon.

Selina: And he's worried I'll be crazier than Talia?

Bruce and Damian: Yes.

Selina: Right, well I'm working on it, but gemstones and jewels are perfect to keep and collect at times.

Bruce (deadpan): And you get distracted by shiny objects.

Selina: No, I don’t—

Bruce slid an open jewelry box in front of her, filled with assorted necklaces, rings, and earrings sparkling with gemstones.

Selina (mesmerized): It sparkles, shimmers, and shines! I want it!

Bruce closed the jewelry box and took it away.

Selina (sheepish): Okay, fine, it may be linked to my attraction to pretty, shiny things, but the money comes first.

Bruce: Give me my great aunt's ring back.

Selina giggled as she handed the ring back to him. She blushed covering her face slightly embarrassed.

Bruce:At least you stopped stealing my parents jewlerly.

Selina: In the past... Sorry about that, by the way.

Damian chuckled while still coloring.

Damian: You apologized which is a step up from my mom at times.

____________________________

Ivy (spiteful): You ever worry you're making a colossal mistake with who you’re dating?

Selina (eating her salad): I have many issues, but I have standards, thank you very much.

Ivy: You're dating Batman!

Selina (smirking): You haven't brought up my mistakes yet.

Cheetah: Her jealousy is showing, girl. Ignore her.

Ivy: Cheetah, shut up! Why are you supporting this insanity?

Cheetah: Because from what she's told me, he's a perfect man for her. Now, I'm not sure why you're unhappy about that when you have Harley, but leave her alone, or I’ll say something that really hurts your feelings.

Selina (chewing): What she said.

____________________________

Bruce and Selina were in her apartment in the middle of foreplay. Selina saw the scratch marks on his neck and touched them gently, making Bruce moan as he rested on her chest.

Selina: Okay, I'm just gonna say it. I love you, and I like that you enjoy BDSM, but I'm slightly concerned you get aroused by certain pains.

Bruce (composing himself): Hm, does it help that I only enjoy them when they're directed at me?

Selina (not sure how to react): Oh… Wow… That's something to talk about later, but that is slightly reassuring considering your side business. All right, ready?

Selina cracked her whip in the air, and Bruce perked up, nodding enthusiastically. Smiling, Selina took his hand and led him to her bedroom.

____________________________

Selina: Hot Girl Summer is over. It's time for Haunted Hoe Halloween.

Selina walked out in a sexy witch costume.

Selina: What do you think?

Bruce (flustered): I think I’m a very lucky man.

Selina: Aww, stop.

____________________________

Selina: So, it was when he took off his shirt, and I thought, 'Yas daddy!' He smiled—such a cute smile. I couldn't resist him anymore. I… my whole body—

Ivy (interrupting): That's something you should share with a therapist, not me.

Selina: You've never had that moment?

Ivy: Not with Batman!

Selina: Hmm, you're really missing out. And I'm not telling you who he is.

Ivy (angrily): Come on! I treated you to drinks!

Selina (taking a sip from her martini): That's thoughtful of you. Now, for the next part—his big, circumcised—

Ivy groaned in disgust, covering her eyes as Selina dove into that section of the story. On the other hand, Cheetah was enthralled; she didn’t fight Batman that much and felt no hatred towards him, especially with how Selina described their intimate moments.

____________________________

Bruce and Selina on a trip to Italy get ready for a relaxing night together, but there's one thing on Bruce's mind.

Bruce: Can you stop calling me that?

Selina (resting on his bed in sexy lingerie): Pookie?

Bruce: No.

Selina: Batsy?

Bruce: No.

Selina: Brucie?

Bruce: No, you're the only one who can call me that.

Selina: Oh, is it eggplant?

Bruce: No… I actually admire the appreciation there. You're getting close. It has to do with the fact that I'm a parent.

Selina: Hmm, you mean daddy?

Bruce sighed, covering his eyes.

Bruce: Why do you say it like that?

Selina: To distinguish it from an actual dad or father. I’m not calling you that because you're a dad and it turns me on. It’s just cute slang.

Bruce: I still don’t understand slang, but this one in particular bothers me. Please pick something else, especially before my kids find out. I can’t… I just can’t.

Selina smiled at the sight of her man blushing, then rolled onto her stomach, kicking her legs back and forth while thinking.

Selina: What about zaddy? It’s basically an older, sexy man who's fashionable and charismatic.

Bruce (not realizing it’s a similar term): That’s better, but I want to keep this between us. I enjoy our pet names, but—

Selina (winking): I gotcha.

____________________________

Ivy: How can I convince you to stop fucking my friend before you fuck her life up?

Batman quickly covered his son's ears, making the young hero grumble in annoyance.

Batman: She was a bank robber before I got involved with her. She's someone I genuinely care about, and I've done everything to show her that I love her. I am not messing up her life because you're jealous.

Ivy (stammering): I am… not jealous of you!

Batman: Lying is unbecoming of you.

Ivy (dryly): At least I don't wear a stupid bat suit.

Ivy turned and walked off. Robin blinked, growing angry at the plant woman.

Robin: Father, I can handle her.

Batman: She’s not worth it.

____________________________

Cheetah (on the phone with Selina): So, how was your trip with the rich man?

Selina: He found out about the word daddy, but I recovered. Now it’s zaddy, which he fits perfectly.

Cheetah: Nice compromise! I imagine he hasn’t realized it sounds similar to daddy?

Selina and Cheetah laughed without Selina having to answer.

Cheetah: What happened after that? How was the sex? I’m super bored and love your stories.

Selina: Aww, thanks! Well, he took the lead last night and said, 'Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.' But like—

Cheetah (eagerly): Oh my God, don’t be!

Selina: I know, right? He forgets I have the same level of pain tolerance he does.

Cheetah: Yeah, but you know how rich people can be. I grew up rich too so I have seen some skeevy and freaky ones. He's not into… "cheese pizza"?

Selina (laughing): Oh no, thankfully not! When I first met his kid, I was concerned, but he's just an oddly good dad.

Cheetah: Get out! He’s a daddy and also a father?

Selina: Yeah, and a pretty good one.

Cheetah (snapping her fingers supportively): Yes, queen! You found a potential good man.

Selina: I’m grateful every day.

____________________________

Wonder Woman: Catwoman, my enemy Cheetah, for saving my people, we shall celebrate this in the ancient tradition of the Amazons!

Cheetah (leaning towards her sworn enemy, but smiling): Are we going to have a rager?

Wonder Woman: We’re going to have a freaking rager!

Cheetah: Finally! We're on good terms for the night Wonder Woman!

Catwoman (Selina): I should probably tell my boyfriend I'm going to be here for a while.

Cheetah (whispering to Catwoman): She’s dating a rich man who matches her freak.

Wonder Woman (pretending not to know): Oh my Zeus… I did not see that coming.

-----------------------------------

A henchman of the Joker held Catwoman with a gun to her head. She wasn't terrified; her expression was more annoyed than anything. Batman, however, showed worry, but it was mostly concern for the goon.

Goon: I will gut her like a… cat. A stupid cat! Give up, or she dies!

Catwoman (annoyed): How am I giving off damsel in distress vibes that you think this is smart to do?

Batman: I was about to ask the same question.

Goon: I mean, look at how you're dressed.

Batman took a step back, surprised when he saw his girlfriend's face turn red with anger.

Catwoman: Okay, fine. We really doing this? Cool.

With a swift motion, Catwoman forcibly twisted the man's knife hand, flipping him to the ground. She kicked him in the crotch three times as the goon begged her to stop. She swiped the knife lying next to him as well.

Catwoman (walking towards Bruce): Okay, what were you asking about the party at Diana's place?

Batman: Did she ask you anything about our sex life?

Catwoman: Yes, I kept it vague.

Batman: Thank you for that. And did you ever find out if she was the one who stole my wallet?

Catwoman: I swiped it back for you. When we get back to my place, you can take it with you when you leave in the morning.

Batman: Thank you… you know I'm lucky to have you?

Batman kissed her on the cheek making her smile.

Catwoman: I feel the same about you.

[angrydemonfawnbaby]

ya know, going into the acolyte having seen gifs of osha and qimir (and not knowing that mae was a separate person), i really thought it was gonna be my enemies to lovers otp. and they had me for a second in the little apothecary shop when he sussed out she wasn't mae immediately (not like she made it hard).

but the enemies part of it never really kicked in, ya know? like the stakes never felt real? every moment where she was like "I"m gonna kill you" never felt like it had any real weight. and they're cute, they have chemistry (that's likely just amandla and manny), but they aren't enemies to lovers and their tension is just sexual tension and that's fine but it's maybe a little uninteresting for me personally.

now maemir? layers. he lied to her. she maybe knew that the whole time. she betrayed him. he tried to kill her. he could have killed her. why didn't he kill her? they spent ten plus years together before all this shit went down. there's history. it's all gone now because he erased her memory. that's good shit.

and yeah yeah yeah manny and amandla and everyone is propping oshamir up on a pedestal rn and saying maemir is a sibling dynamic but like have you considered fuck that? we make our own fun. the sibling dynamic existed between the fake bumbling persona qirmir was putting on to keep mae from knowing who he really was, mae has never actually met the real qimir. mae knew the sidekick, and knew her master, and then she didn't know either. IT'S GOOD SHIT.

[pigdemonart]

Do you ship Fox and Krystal?? Because they were my childhood 🥺 baby's first otp yknow

hahah I do! But with a BIG asterisk. Putting it under cut for INSANE STAR FOX RAMBLINGS

* <- the big asterisk: I ship them, but like I also am okay with them not being end-game. I think their relationship could be so much bigger than that!! OK so, let me explain. When I was a kiddo I shipped them! I was a baby furry and I loooooved that there was a playable girl character in Star Fox FINALLY (though, you know that was for only a split second bhnjmk) But now, I just think the way they were both written in the games was a little boring and one-note. Also just uncomfortable at times, since her first appearance Krystal was made out to be weird kinda-fetishy, sex-appeal and not much else. I don't think that's a controversial statement though LOL Later games I don't much feel for their chemistry either, though they have cute moments here and there. The more interesting parts about them is when they're not seeing eye-to-eye and they're apart from each other, honestly. So in my drawings I was picturing something less canon and more re-imagined. Krystal is the lone survivor of her race and she's on Sauria trying to find the truth about what happened to her home planet while also aiding the local wildlife. I don't imagine the dinosaurs speaking much in my version, but Krystal is telepathic and an empath, she can read their minds well enough to talk to them and be understood. I imagine also she knows about Andross, but doesn't believe he's the reason her planet was destroyed (there's disagreements on if that is canon or not, and I think its pretty silly to blame every bad thing on the one guy.) I think it would be fun if Krystal (never being encased in a crystal because that plot was dumb) meets Fox on Sauria early on in the events of Star Fox Adventures. I mean it would have been GREAT if Krystal was his partner, instead of Tricky. Though in the drawings I included Tricky too, cuz why not? I like the dynamic of Krystal being kind towards all living creatures and Fox having to learn to keep up with that. Nature never seemed like his -thing- ya know. See I like the idea of their personalities crashing a lot at first. They are from different cultures and backgrounds, their understanding of Lylat history is different -- Fox being from Corneria means he views the war against Andross as a necessary thing, something Andross brought on himself and eventually paid for with his life, not to mention the death of his father weighs heavily on him forever. Krystal disagrees, being a firm believer that war is never the answer and the price of peace for some came at the cost of the death of others, including her own people. Like...DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH THEY WOULDN'T MIX, they are just too different and too caught up in their own life missions to really get the other's intentions. But then in spite of all that, they become friends. I think my ver. of Krystal while looking down on Fox somewhat for being a mercenary would also be intrigued by him. She would want to know how exactly this guy and his team defeated Andross, and from there know more stories about his life. Likewise, Fox being stuck on ground on Sauria with Krystal I think would open his eyes a bit more (lmao touch some grass for once) and they would at least bond with each other while also helping each other stay alive. I think they realize on their own that they each bring out good things about one another... at least at first.

In the games Krystal is pretty much assimilated into Star Fox and we don't really see how that happens or how she really feels about it. We just know she eventually breaks up with Fox and cuts ties with the rest of them, something that broke my heart when I was a kid, but I'm not super against or in disagreement with. Personally I just think her sort of beliefs and upbringing would have never lent itself well to the line of work Star Fox does, at least not so easily. It came off to me like she was a young woman caught up in a romance that felt right at first and then became bitter and unfulfilling once reality set in. And in my eyes, I think its more interesting if she becomes disillusioned with Star Fox and the Cornerian Defense Force because, put simply, Krystal isn't pro-military. And that's sad...but it's pretty raw, too. And I love my stupid children's game about furries in space being full of dark themes!! Nintendo already set the domino pieces up, I just feel like we never got to see them all come tumbling down. We were teased with possible ideas that the Cornerian army and General Pepper were morally grey and that Andross had good intentions mixed in with every totalitarian thing he did. Krystal even is the one to defend Andross in one scene in Command, which is fucking crazyyyyyyyy!!! but it doesn't GO ANYWHERE -tears hair out- But anyways, as you can see Fox X Krystal drives me insane. /pos There isn't really an ending I love or subscribe to the most from Star Fox Command. That game really just threw a lot of the fans for a loop with all the drama and "bad," not super fulfilling ends to beloved characters. Though, that being said, I lowkey like the Kursed/Krazoa arc for Krystal, I think it's like an interesting path for a character like her. Like yeah, turn this woman into a hardened butch bounty hunter!!!! why NOT!!! She'd get under his skin better than Wolf ever could!!! Plus, how often does a pairing go from friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-strangers?? Fox can't recognize the love of his life anymore because she's been fundamentally changed by the world HE introduced her to. Now they both gotta live with that with Sauria being nothing but a distant memory. It's tragic, it's messy, it can go in so many different directions and I just think these furries should yell at each other for my amusement. anyways that's all. :] i'm actually normal about them tee hee.

[shadowphoenixrider]

Kinktober 2024 Day 1 - Dirty Talk

(Decided to write a couple of entries for Kinktober, since my OTP were chatty for a bit. No smut in this one, but things get a little steamy. Enjoy!)

"Mmm, you look good enough to eat, mon amie..." Gambit purred into my ear, hands sliding onto my hips.

I raised an eyebrow, looking over my shoulder at the dark-eyed mutant leering at me.

"Why, are you hungry, Cajun?" I asked lightly.

His red eyes gleamed with mischief, pupils dilating.

"Hungry, chère?" He pushed his body into mine, pressing me tightly against the kitchen counter as his lips skimmed my ear. "I'm starved."

A shudder ran down my spine, hot tight heat twisting low in my belly. He must have felt it, as his lips curved into a grin. Planting my hands on the work surface, I pushed back against him.

"We can't do this here, Gambit." I muttered. "Someone's going to walk in here at some point."

"Kitchen's the best place to get a meal, chère." Came the hot reply, his strength pinning me in place. "An' I can't help thinkin' how good you'd taste..." I felt his tongue flick at my earlobe; that did nothing but make me shake my head.

"If you want a meal you can savour, we're going to have to go somewhere more private." I said matter-of-factly. "Even a man starved knows he can only eat his fill if he's undisturbed."

Gambit groaned childishly.

"Please Shadow, Gambit be a man parched - he desperate for a taste of you. You not be as so cruel to deny him longer, surely?"

"Parched? I thought you were hungry." I tried not to smile at his frustrated grumble. "But seriously Gambit, you are going to be infinitely more annoyed if we get interrupted. At least let's go to my room so you can have all the time in the world to sample me, hmm?"

I felt his mouth open to retort, when someone else got there first:

"Am I interrupting something?"

I craned my head over my shoulder to see Storm standing in the doorway, one perfect white eyebrow raised. Gambit drew back away from me, and I gave him a Look.

"Told you so."

He narrowed his eyes at me, and I let myself smirk - he'd make me pay for that, and I couldn't wait.

Storm looked between us, clearly putting the pieces together, so I just offered her a smile and a respectful bow of my head. "My apologies, we'll be getting out of your way."

I weaved past her, quickening my pace when I was out of the kitchen and trying to resist giggling nervously. There was no way I'd evade him, but it was always fun to see how far I could get.

It didn't take long for Gambit to catch up in several long strides, briefly pulling me into the side of the hallway, hands all over me.

"You little minx." He growled playfully into my ear, revelling in my giggling. "Teasin' me like that."

"Aw, but I wasn't wrong about us getting interrupted, was I?" I pointed out, even as he gave my neck a nip.

"Maybe ya were right 'bout gettin' a room." He acquiesced, pulling back to look at me properly, smirking. "But when we get dere, Gambit gonna make sure he has his fill."

I smirked back.

"Why of course. Wouldn't want to spoil a meal by rushing it now, would we?"

His wicked grin flashed heat straight into my chest, the recognition of this familiar, tenuous dance we began.

"Sounds like you jus' as hungry as Gambit, mon ombre..." The Cajun purred, as I started leading us to my room.

"Oh, I might have been indulging myself with some tasty little thoughts..." I mused.

"Such as...?"

I paused for a moment, my grin showing teeth.

"The sounds you make when my lips are wrapped around your cock."

Gambit's eyes darkened, and I swore it was his turn to shiver with delight. I pressed on, standing on my tiptoes to whisper: "All I have to do is just run my tongue along you and you melt under me. Such a needy boy..."

To my surprise and delight, his eyes rolled back in his head, a soft, shaky groan escaping him. This vulnerability only lasted for a moment though, his focus sharpening back on me.

"Don' think you can get away teasin' Gambit like dat, brigand..." He growled. "He knows all ya little secrets too." A wide, almost predatory grin as he whispered in my ear: "You one to talk about meltin' at a touch, mon amie, when Gambit just have to tell ya exactly what ya want to hear 'fore ya start beggin' for my touch."

I puffed my chest out, trying to walk a little faster as if I was trying to avoid being ensnared.

"Oh? And what exactly would those words be, Gambit? You have to do better than sly insinuations." I took the stairs in a hurry, not looking back.

"Do I?" He remarked. Curse the Cajun's long legs, he was already closing in again. I dodged his grab for my waist, giggling nervously. "If Gambit remembers correctly, he had ya wet an' squirming' jus' talkin' 'bout everythin' he wants to do to ya de other night."

A throb from between my legs betrayed me. Oh, he was remembering correctly all right. And I remembered that he'd made good on everything he'd said.

"Ya know," Gambit spoke up as we took the turn towards my room. "I bet ya already wet right now." I could hear the eager, hungry grin in his voice. "An' it getting worse every time ya move, ain't it? You wanna ride somethin' dat gives ya more. Maybe," suddenly, his presence right behind me, voice in my ear, "maybe somethin' to fill dat emptiness. Fill ya right to de top..."

My breath hitched, and I just about caught the shaky moan that threatened to escape me, just as I stumbled to my door. Gambit immediately sandwiched me against it, pressing his erection hard into me.

"G-Gambit-" I stuttered, struggling for the key that was now tightly wedged in my pockets. "I-I need-"

"What?" He crooned, rolling his hips against me, giving me just a taste of that delicious friction I needed. "Tell Gambit, mon ombre. Tell him what ya need..."

"I..." I felt my head steaming up like a bathroom mirror, the temptation to let go and fall under this spell of pleasure, let Gambit have his way with me against my door.

But I wasn't going to let him win that easily.

"I...I need my keys, ass." I managed to growl, sliding an arm underneath my chest to give me enough leverage to push back against him, lifting his weight just enough to fish them out.

Gambit leant back to let me unlock the door, yet was soon at my back again, pushing me inside. Although he did politely pause to push it closed behind us.

"So, now we have some privacy..." He turned towards me, a toothy grin on his face as he stalked towards me. "How 'bout we pick up from where we left off? You were tellin' Gambit what you needed, whilst he," his hands drifted to my waist, fingers already beginning to loosen my belt, "were gonna eat his fill..."

I grinned, helping him along by undoing my jeans.

"Well then," I purred as the Cajun tugged my trousers and panties down at the first opportunity, dropping to his knees with the motion. "Bon appetit..."

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

kenny for the ask meme 🧡

Fantastic. Let's get the most important one out of the way🧡🧡 The silliest little booger🫶🫶🫶

Favorite thing about them:

Two things; his unwavering kindness and his immortality.

I love how kind and sweet and charitable he has remained despite, or maybe because of, all the horrors that he's been through. He could've become a cynical asshole and I wouldn't blame him, but instead he dedicated his time caring for his sister, become a symbol of hope for South Park and become a philanthropist once he became rich enough to afford it.

His immortality is just a dope fucking concept and I have so many different AUs and stories in progress where it's the centered topic. It just fascinates me i love it

Least favorite thing about them:

Literally nothing. I love all his ugly ass booger attributes. Even his stupid ass hair dryer side profile. Maybe I hate that he doesn't have enough episodes where he's the main character

Favorite Line:

"Yeah, people don't even care if shit's dumped everywhere. Everyone just loves technology."

"Sometimes, people do stupid things. Sometimes they don't realize what should have come first. Until it's too late."

(Sorry I couldn't pick just one. He's my favorite little guy.)

BrOTP:

Kenny & Kyle >:))) their friendship is SO unexplored even though they have so much canon potential. The fact that Kenny went to Kyle to get his help as Mysterion "because I think you are the smartest kid in class" is so telling for how much he respects Kyle. Then also that Kyle is the one to initiate Kenny's cheesing intervention in the major boobage episode speaks for how Kyle cares for him. And the "I can't die" "It's not pretty cool, Kyle, it fucking hurts!" conversation is so juicy and full of interesting conflict potential. Maybe that's why K2 are the dynamic that receives arguably the most attention in my fic🫶

Also Kenny & Tweek. SO MUCH untapped potential in that dynamic.

And Kenny & Cartman!!! They're such interesting foils in every way, the "fat ugly mean kid and the detached loner poor kid", both the poorest kids at their schools and both with a fascinating dynamic with Butters. They're best friends and rivals, they're each other's biggest haters and somehow have a soft spot for each other too.

OTP:

Kenny and Butters. I'm not gonna elaborate because I'd be sitting here all day but if I could summarize it I'd point you to Mysterion vs Chaos, the fact that Paladin Butters had a canon crush on princess Kenny in TSOT, their canon sugar daddy/baby dynamic in post covid when Butters literally scammed everyone else in his path, and the fact that I love tragic characters finding joy and wonder in each other.

nOTP:

Can't really say any bc Kenny has interesting dynamics with everyone lol but if I have to name popular romantic ships that I just don't see I'd name Crenny and Stenny shjshsk SORRY

Random Headcanon:

He loves food and eats FAST like a starving animal (licking his fingers afterwards and everything) he's not exactly the kid your mom would love for his dinner table manners

Unpopular Opinion:

He isn't suave or handsome. IRKS me when he's a big ladies' man in fics. He's stinky and not an overly smooth flirt; any attention he gets from girls is because he's genuinely kind and sweet

Song I associate with them:

Favorite Picture of Them:

He's such a wannabe mysterious little fucker

[olderthannetfic]

I've done some reading challenges before and I think they can be fun if they have a purpose: for instance, something like the Read Harder challenge, ones that encourage you to read from different genres or read more diverse books, etc. I have a sort of evergreen challenge where I encourage myself to read more books written by authors from different countries, and keep a spreadsheet of which countries I've "read." (I also do this with other kinds of entertainment like movies.) But it's definitely true that some of them just seem to be for the gimmick and aesthetic, and for people who prize quantity over quality of reading in a sort of commodity-fetishism (as they're prizing books as markers of intelligence over the actual experience of learning and expanding your world via reading). Like when the challenges start to be things like "read a book with an orange cover" that's where I start to roll my eyes a bit, haha.

I will say that while I try not to be a snob about reading, it does drive me nuts when I've had people lord over how many more books they've read or how many more pages when they're reading beach reads and YA and other easily digestible stuff whereas I'm reading stuff that is heavier. One time when I was working some crappy minimum-wage job in college, I was reading this big omnibus of all Jane Austen's works (because I was taking a class on her where I was required to read those, not that I wouldn't read Austen otherwise lol) on my break, and one of the other employees asked me how many pages it was and I answered and he was like "pfft, that's nothing, I read all the Harry Potter books in a week and they're more than that!" And I wanted to be like.... yeah, me too, dipshit. I mean, I didn't literally read them in one week, but when each one came out, I devoured it within a day or two like a lot of people did, despite it being 800 pages. Because Rowling's prose is really easy to gobble up like that. Not that Austen is impenetrable or anything (I don't think she is and I think that's precisely why she remains so evergreen popular), but she does require more effort than *that*, particularly when you're reading her work for a literature class where you're expected to write a paper analyzing it, so you want to linger to make sure you really deeply understand it.

I've read academic monographs that were 150 pages long that took me weeks to get through, and I've read 800-page bestsellers that I ripped through in a few days. Pure page length does not determine how long it takes to actually read something. I mean.... in fandom we should all be aware of this, how many of us have devoured some 100k fic in a night or two? As someone who has written some of those academic monographs myself and therefore is familiar with how word count tends to relate to book page length, I can verify for you that that is the equivalent of devouring a novel in the same time frame. But it's a lot easier to do that when you're reading relatively invisible prose and are invested in your OTP getting together (or whatever) vs. if you're trying to digest someone's very dry and convoluted argument about Foucault.

--

I just read all of Scum Villain in about five minutes, yeah. And it was great, but nothing to brag about as an achievement.

I've got this friend who goes on about reading sooooo fast but then admits to often rereading to catch things that she missed the first time. It came up when I was explaining how seldom I reread or rewatch anything. I tend to remember it far, far too keenly after one time through, and it just doesn't hit the same a second time. I still read pretty fast, but not that fast.

I don't think it's snobby to roll your eyes at people who clearly don't grasp the difference between different difficulties of reading and—this is key—who are trying to wave their dick at you about how great they are. They started it!

The time I do roll my eyes is when people think you should read mega hard prose in order to learn, especially in order to learn vocabulary or get faster at reading. That's not what the science says. (Apparently, the fastest way to improve on that kind of thing is to read mass quantities of faintly hard-for-you stuff, not stuff that's hard hard.) But to learn how to decode confusing arguments? Yes, absolutely.

I do wish people would put a little more effort into unwinding their own tortured syntax on Foucault though.