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shadowphoenixrider · 2 months ago

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The Talk

(It's been a while, but Gambit and Rogue can no longer keep pussy-footing around the small elephant in the room called Shadow. Time has come for them to talk about it and what this means for each other. Enjoy the angst, people. It's gonna be a bit rough.)

Gambit found Rogue standing in the mansion's belfry, her back to him as she gazed down onto the grounds below.

"You wanted to speak to me, chère?" He asked.

"So, you and Shadow, huh?" Rogue spoke.

Gambit winced, rubbing the back of his neck. He'd expected this talk to happen at some point, but it didn't mean he was any more ready for it.

"Rogue, I..."

She sighed, shoulders slumping.

"Don't, Remy. Even before you started leavin' marks on each other, I saw you two together. I've seen the way you look at her." She folded her arms. "I'll be honest, I had a feelin' there was something between you two the moment ya brought her here."

"We jus' friends wit benefits, Rogue." Gambit said, his hand still rubbing over his neck, thumb grazing over where the bruise had been. "Dat's all, it don't be-"

"That's a lie an' we both know it, sugah." Rogue shot him a glare over her shoulder.

Gambit opened his mouth, but his protests didn't come, wedged tightly in his chest with his feelings. His shoulders slumped, glancing away.

"Know me too well, chère." He sighed. "Been tryin' keep it casual, but it..." He gestured uselessly. "I'm sorry."

Rogue's hands tightened their grip on her arms, bracing herself against his words. His heart seized painfully, and he found himself reaching for her. "Rogue..."

"Don't." Her voice was soft, but heavy with unshed tears. She shook her head. "Don't..."

His hand hovered over her shoulder for a moment, before he took the chance, settling it over her jacket. It hurt to see her flinch.

"I'm sorry, Rogue. Even if we not together, I never meant to hurt ya," he said softly. "Never."

"I know, Remy." Her gloved hand reached up to cover his, turning toward him. "But..." It took her a moment, as if the words themselves were bitter to the taste: "But I'm happy for you. Shadow can give ya what I can't."

A protest rose in his chest again, but it fizzled out before it reached his throat. He would have insisted before that he didn't need it, that he was just fine as they were, with the careful barriers between him and her just so they could hold hands or rest their heads on each other's shoulders. He'd not lied to her.

Yet Gambit couldn't deny the joy, the feeling of completeness whenever he could touch Shadow, or when she touched him without hesitation. How she'd ruffle his hair, touch his forehead, cup his cheeks. Nausea churned in the pit of his stomach knowing Rogue could do none of that, could experience none of the simplest of pleasures.

It felt so wrong. Yet he selfishly wanted it so much. He'd missed it.

He wanted so badly to reassure her that it was fine really, it wasn't a big deal.

They both knew that it was. It was one of the reasons their nascent relationship had stopped growing, after all.

"Remy..." Rogue spoke softly. "I want the best for you. If Shadow makes you happy, then go be with her."

Gambit swallowed hard.

"I...I can't."

Rogue's brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't be wit her, Rogue. She...I don't wan' to complicate things for her. We just meant to be casual, I can't-"

The glare Rogue gave him could have cut through glass.

"Did ya ask her, sugah?" She asked, her tone the cool calm before the incoming storm.

"No, Gambit jus'-"

"No?!" She rounded on him, fire burning behind her green eyes. Gambit took a step back, holding his hands up placatingly.

"Heard her say it talkin' to Beast!" He spoke hurriedly. "Dat she didn't wanna complicate things 'tween us if somethin' went wrong! Dat she weren't lookin' for anythin' more den casual!"

Rogue forced herself to take a breath, calming herself.

"Remy, hearin' somethin' said to someone else don't prove nothin'. Who knows how much of the conversation ya missed before you started listenin' in?"

"Was dere for de whole thing, Rogue." Gambit retorted. "I know what she said."

"So you're jus' goin' off an assumption?" Rogue folded her arms again, raising an eyebrow. "Ain't that what Bishop did when he fingered you as Senator Kelly's killer?"

"Dat's different!" Gambit snapped. "Dat were Mystique deliberately deceivin' people! Shadow not gonna lie to Beast 'bout what she wants!"

"You think she's gonna lie to you?"

His fiery retort was extinguished before it made its way out of his mouth, and Gambit grasped quickly for words.

"N-No, but-" He looked away, rubbing at the back of his neck. "After everything wit Tom, she probably don't wanna think about it. 'Bout another guy on her heels."

Rogue's expression softened.

"You're worried she's gonna to say no."

Gambit's shoulders slumped, his heart seizing. The truth curdled in his throat like a thick oily sludge, and it took him a minute to push past it.

"Yeah." His fingers curled, blunt nails pressing into his skin as if the pain could hold his composure.

Silence yawned between them. Gambit wished they were having this conversation a little further away from the mansion and potential eavesdroppers, but the belfry was a known spot for mutants seeking solitude. If the others saw the access door was shut, they would leave them be.

Rogue stared at him, assessing. He didn't remember the last time that he felt so pinned down and exposed, like a deer in headlights. Even the telepaths couldn't unravel him like this.

"So you jus' gonna string her along like a lovesick puppy 'til ya get bored of her, sugah? That it?"

It was if Rogue had physically hit him, the pain in his chest almost driving the breath from him - he flinched.

"No!" He cried. "No, I- Merde, Rogue, I-"

"But ain't that what ya doin', Remy?" Rogue continued, eyes narrowing. "Keepin' her on a leash 'til ya figure it out? You ain't even talked to her about this." She paused, staring at him, the silence so loud Gambit almost heard the penny drop in her head. "You ain't even told her 'bout us, have you?"

Gambit prickled, pulling himself up to his full height.

"Well, you ain't told her either!"

"I ain't the one with feelin's for her, Remy!" Snapped Rogue. "The longer you keep hidin' that and keep her at arm's length, the worse it's gonna get if somethin' happens an' it all comes out!"

That hit a nerve, Gambit's shame replaced by anger.

"An' you be de one to know 'bout dat, wouldn't you?" He countered, a little harsher than he intended. Rogue's eyes flashed, and for a moment he thought she really would strike him. Instead, she pulled in a breath and retorted with:

"I don't think Cajuns should throw cards in their glass houses, sugah. What if she meets someone else, like you did? Ya think she gonna think twice jus' 'cos you're keepin' the bed warm?"

His heart stopped, the sharp, icy pain rippling through his body. He opened his mouth to argue, to offer some evidence otherwise...but nothing came. Sure, Shadow had wrapped him in compliments and touches, leaning against him, letting him read over her shoulder, keeping his love bite on proud display, but there was nothing concrete that couldn't be rescinded, forgotten, easily washed away should someone else catch her eye.

After all, had that not happened with Tom?

Gambit must have looked as crestfallen as he felt, as Rogue's expression softened into sympathy.

"Remy, if ya have feelings for her, ya need to tell her 'fore somethin' happens an' ya can't!" She urged.

He shook his head, beating down the unbidden, stinging heat that was beginning to rise in his eyes. Not now, not here.

"It's not dat simple, Rogue."

The Southern woman laughed ruefully.

"It never is, is it?" She stepped forward, gently settling a gloved hand onto his shoulder. "Listen, sugah," her voice was gentle now, "Shadow looks at ya like you put the stars in the sky for her. She brightens up whenever you walk in a room." Rogue smirked. "An' she blushes like a sinner in church when she's teased 'bout ya."

Gambit blinked.

"She does?"

"Find it hard to believe ya haven't noticed, sugah." Replied Rogue, raising an eyebrow at him. "Before dat night you were left alone in the Mansion together, the tension between you two were thicker than a barrel of molasses covered in tar."

It was Gambit's turn to chuckle weakly.

"Dat obvious?"

"Sugah, we were takin' bets when you'd finally wise up an' find a room." Her smile didn't reach her eyes, and Gambit decided not to inquire to who had won said bets. "Look, Remy, how 'bout you an' her do somethin' not X-Men related. Out of the mansion. Take her to dinner or somethin'?"

Gambit sighed, turning away and scratching the back of his neck.

"I...I dunno if she be wantin' to go on a date so soon afta breakin' from dat couyon," he said. "Ten years be a long time, chère. Most of her life."

Rogue tilted her head to the side, propping a hand on her hip.

"That not the same with you and Bella Donna?" She asked.

His heart cringed, though he just about managed to avoid wincing this time. He folded his arms around himself; of all the things she had to bring up - her?

"Dat...dat not the same..." Gambit muttered.

"Ya sure, sugah?"

Memories moved like the shadows of monsters in the ocean's depths, threatening to surface. A woman he loved...thought he loved, until he watched her change in front of him, twisted into a shape he no longer recognised.

"I thought we were always meant to be! The two sides of the same coin!"

The Cajun squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head to dismiss the echoes of Shadow's voice.

"It been a long time since I were good wit her," he said firmly. "Shadow, she not had dat long to get over Tom. I don't..." He took a deep breath, releasing it as a long, draining sigh. "I don' want her to feel she flew from one cage to another."

"Ya not, Remy." Rogue said kindly. "You ain't that Tom fella by any shot." She reached out to touch his arm, squeezing as comfortingly yet gently as her strength would allow. "This thing with Shadow, it don't have to be a big thing. Jus' get outta this place and spend some time with her. Maybe you'll figure out what ya both want."

There was a brief silence, before Rogue gently punched his shoulder - the force of it still enough to stagger him and utter an 'oof!'

"'Sides." Rogue grinned. "How could she resist the Ragin' Cajun?"

Gambit couldn't help the blush that burned across his cheek-bones, especially when Rogue chuckled to see it. He turned to her then, finally managing to meet her eyes.

"Rogue," he began softly, "ya really okay with dis?"

It was her turn to glance away, folding her own arms. It was the answer he expected, and it hurt.

"It's as I said, sugah." She spoke. "I want ya to be happy. An' that happiness is with her. Not me." The way she trailed off almost broke his heart.

"Chère..." Gambit reached out, curling his hand around hers. "Gambit still cares about you. He-"

"Don't, Remy." She shook her head. "We both knew it wasn't gonna work out in the end. You can light up everythin' you touch, but never me. Don't ruin this good thing you got for yourself. For her." Rogue smiled weakly. "I'm a big girl, sugah. I'll be jus' fine."

Gambit wasn't exactly convinced by that, but figured it might be better not to voice it; this was already painful enough.

"Jus' promise me you'll talk to Shadow at some point, alright?" Said Rogue sternly. "'Cos if ya keep screwin' around with ya head in the sand, that tide might come back in an' then you'll never get the chance."

She was doing her best to hide it, but Gambit saw the flicker of sadness in her eyes, heard the slight heaviness to her voice. It wasn't fair. He cared for both women dearly, yet whichever way he chose - to follow where his heart yearned or to linger to prevent further pain - he would hurt one of them.

Sometimes the cards forced your hand.

"Mais," he sighed softly. "Gambit'll try." He forced a smile.

"Good." Rogue gave him a pointed look. "You take care now, sugah."

"You too, chère." Gambit replied, his smile softening.

And with that, Rogue turned to fly down to the mansion below. His heart panged, hoping she was just moving to something else and not seeking a room to be alone for a while.

Merde. Gambit cursed internally, leaning against one of the thick white pillars that held up the dome above. The talk might have been a long time coming, but it didn't mean he hated it any less.

What was he going to do? How was he even going to broach the subject of his and Rogue's relationship to Shadow? And moreover, do it without scaring her off? The young woman was sometimes selfless to a fault, and if she got wind that he and Rogue had feelings for each other, some of which still remained, she'd pull away nigh on instantly. And with how his heart cringed at the very thought of that...

No. He had to lie - at least by omission. Gambit was good at that already, and since Shadow also had a habit of it, she would understand eventually. He hoped.

Rogue was probably right about one thing, though; taking Shadow for a meal in the city didn't sound like a bad idea. It wouldn't hurt, them taking the time just for the two of them to hang out. Friends did that all the time. Even when they're sleeping together.

Gambit cursed again, running a hand through his hair and staring into the sky, as if the clouds would give him the answers.

Well, it was worth a go. Maybe it would give him a better read on how Shadow felt towards him.

And if not? Then it still would be a good time.

Right?

#sprs writing #x men #x men rogue #gambit #remy lebeau #oc/canon #angst #dialogue heavy #past relationship #*bangs pots and pans* c'mon get your angst #there goes our 'talking to each other' budget again #shadow/gambit #self insert/canon #x men gambit #i do love rogue i swear i swear

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shadowphoenixrider · 13 days ago

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Kinktober 2024 Day 20 - Facesitting

"On your back, Cajun." I said, pushing him onto the bed.

Gambit went down easily, grinning widely with dark, hungry eyes. He crawled the rest of his body up the bed as I mounted it, kneeling over his broad chest.

"What plans do ya have for Gambit, mon ombre?" He asked, drinking me up like he'd just stumbled in from the desert.

"That depends," I purred, smirking down at him. "Have you behaved yourself?"

The Cajun blinked owlishly up at me, trying to pour innocence into his eyes like some demonic puppy.

"Ma chère, please." He spoke, hands gently resting on my thighs. "Has Gambit not been un bon garçon?"

A frisson of heat surged through me at his nigh pleading words - they sounded so delectable I could almost taste them.

"I'll be the judge of that, Cajun." Was my response, leaning over him. "And don't try to 'convince' me, either." I smirked. "Truly good boys wouldn't need to prove themselves."

"Den it's a good thin' Gambit been a good boy, non?" He replied, running his hands up and down my legs - a light touch that was just firm enough not to tickle me. "He all too happy to submit himself to ya judgement."

I quirked an eyebrow up.

"Your silver tongue won't help you here, scoundrel. I know your tricks."

I saw the flash of mischief in his eyes and the smirk tug at his lips, a change of step in this tenuous dance of power.

"Ah contraire, chère, Gambit has on good authority dat his silver tongue be in much demand." His grin widened. "'Specially by yourself..."

Oh, I so loved this game with him. This push and pull until one of us gave in. It was intoxicating.

"Mm, maybe." I replied, leaning further down towards him, sliding my hips further down his torso. "But I know you crave it as well. The taste of me. So consider - if you've been a good boy, I give you want you desire. If you haven't..." My smirk grew into a grin. "Then perhaps I tie you down and take what I am owed from you?"

His eyes widened in feigned shock, but his pupils dilated with excitement.

"Chère, you wouldn't!" He begged. "You wouldn't subject Gambit to such torture!"

"I might do. Depends if I need to 'punish' him or not..."

"Gambit know he not supposed to convince ya," he began, "but please, chère. Gambit do anythin' for you."

"Anything?" I asked, grinning evilly.

"Gambit be yours to use as you please. Your pleasure be his pleasure," he said, turning his black and red eyes up at me.

I smirked. Oh, I knew what he was doing. I probably should have stopped him, reminded him that he wasn't supposed to be convincing me, and that he'd essentially offered himself up to the threatened punishment.

But it's so hard to do when Gambit is the one under you, and you are as hungry for him as he is for you.

It's all just a game, after all.

"Let me think..." I mused, rocking back and forth on his body, grinding myself against the hard planes of his muscles. Those gentle touches on my legs became tight grips, although he didn't stop me - he uttered a pleased grunt at the feel of me.

"Chère..." He muttered, clearly trying to resist the urge to pull me down to where his aching cock stood proud and waiting.

"Ah ah ah, no distraction." My sing-song voice made him roll his head back and groan in frustration. "You don't want me starting this from the beginning."

"Torture, chère!" He whined. "Gambit been nothing but un bon garçon, an' you submit him to dis?"

"So needy..." I taunted. "Has the good boy been holding on for so long?"

"Oui! Yes!" Gambit nodded vigorously. "He been waiting for ya touch for so long, chère."

I was wet already, and it was only increasing, my body aching for him every bit as much as he was craving me.

Ah...life is short, and I am not a patient woman.

With only a grin, I crawled over him, holding Gambit's dark, needy gaze. A delicious hot spark shot through me when I knelt astride his head, and his pupils swelled with the ecstatic realization of what was to come, a wide smile splitting his face in two.

"Oh, cherié!" Gambit breathed, pure excitement thrumming through his words as if he'd kinetically charged them. "Such a beautiful view...!"

His hands slid up my thighs, tongue darting out to wet his lips. His eagerness turned me on all the more.

"You know what to do, Cajun?" I purred. He nodded vigorously, and I couldn't help but giggle how he was trying not to strain up towards me like a dog on a leash.

And with that, I sank down on him, careful not to put my full weight onto his face (not that he probably would have minded). Gambit immediately buried himself against me, pressing kisses against my lips before his tongue darted out to begin his work in earnest.

"There's a good boy..." I cooed, tangling my fingers into his wild hair before rolling my head back to let out a luxurious moan. His grip on my thighs tightened for a moment before his large hands moved to squeeze my ass, tugging me closer to him.

It wasn't just his hands that were blessed with nimble dexterity - Gambit's lips and tongue moved in just the right ways to have me melting against him, rocking my hips into his face. He teased around my entrance before lapping his tongue in as deep as it would go, stroking my walls in ways I never knew were possible.

And just when I'd gotten used to that, he withdrew and decide to give my clit some much needed attention, which had me moaning and chanting his name. All the while his hands squeezed and massaged my thighs and backside, coaxing me to ride him.

It was bliss, pure euphoria, and I was happy to lose myself within it, the hot electric sensations that pulsed through my body as I ground against him.

Several hour-long minutes later I felt that familiar tension building within me, the tight coil winding around in the base of my pelvis. My fingers curled deeper into his hair, gasping out a warning:

"I'm, I'm close, Remy! Gods yes!"

I felt his wonderfully wicked grin against me, and he murmured something in a thick Cajun that was too soft and muffled to catch. Not that it mattered as his ministrations seemed to intensify, scrambling every sense I had under a pleasurable onslaught. Oh, I wished I could stay here forever.

The tension became nigh unbearable, wound tight as a spring.

"Please!" I begged, so close, so close.

Of course, he came through, and teased that little bundle of nerves in just the right way to make me unravel.

I cried out, back arching and clamping my thighs around his head. My powers slipped away from me and I felt my orgasm once, twice over as my nerves fired brightly, feeling every part of me so incredibly acutely I almost got lost in my zenith.

Gambit kept me anchored, though. His strong, large hands held me within myself, his hot tongue gently stroking inside me, massaging my fluttering walls and drinking me up like a man quenching a long thirst.

Slowly, slowly, I fluttered down from my high, feeling a little dizzy but very, very sated. I could have melted into the mattress and the man below me.

Speaking of which, his insistent tapping against my leg suddenly reminded me of our positions.

"Shit, Remy, sorry!" I breathed, releasing my grip and scooting back onto his chest. "You alright?"

The Cajun chuckled deeply, seeming no worse for wear aside from the lower half of his face being utterly covered in my slick.

"Gambit fine, cherié," he grinned up at me, licking his lips. "Jus' a bit o' tight squeeze, non?"

I shook my head at him, grinning.

"You're lucky I didn't hurt you. I know I'm only fifty kilos soaking wet, but you still don't want all of that on your head."

"Ah, but no finer way to die, ma chère." Gambit's broad grin barely wavered.

"I would prefer you didn't die, actually." I said, ruffling his hair. I intended it in the same jokey manner, yet Gambit sensed my discomfort. He gently eased me back onto his stomach so he could sit upright and look into my eyes properly.

"Remy not goin' anywhere, Shadow," he said seriously, taking my hands in his. "I promise."

My heart seized painfully at his sincerity, and I squeezed his hands.

"I'll hold you to that." I mumbled. He smiled, something so warm and loving it almost pricked tears into my eyes.

"Gambit hopin' ya will." He replied softly, leaning in to kiss me. It was gentle, tender, the sealing of a pact.

This moment lingered, both of us unsure where to go from here.

I decided that it was probably my turn to ruin it.

"So. Still up for a little more 'acts of service', Cajun?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

His answering grin was enough on its own.

"Gambit's all yours, chère..."

#starsandskieskinktober #sprs writing #smut #x men oc: shadow #gambit #remy lebeau #oc/canon #shadow/gambit #writing prompts #self ship #self insert #self insert/canon #self insert x canon #x men gambit #otp: heart of the cards

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