#taylor swift x selena gomez
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siriustaylorsversion · 1 year ago
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Nevermind (Taylor Swift x reader) She has always owned my heart pt.4
finally got over my writers block so this is a little long <3 thankyou so much @karsonromanoff for the idea!!
part one, two and three
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enews
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enews does anyone hear wedding bells? singer yourname.official seen wearing an ENGAGEMENT RING in a new interview... what news do her and taylorswift bring??? liked by tomhalland2013, y/n_sink and 4,205,600 others.
y/n.sink WHAT IS GOING ON IS THIS REAL????
tay.y/nforevermore TMZ POSTED AND TOM HOLLAND LIKED THIS IS HAPPENING theerastour.updates IM FREAKING OUT WHAT THE HELL
costataylorsversion IM GONNA CRY IF THIS IS NOT TRUE IM SO HAPPY
conangray my mothers are doing what now??
oliviarodrigo oh my god yourname.official SO HAPPY FOR YOU
siriustaylorsversion NOT #mymothersaremarried TRENDING ON TWITTER WHAT 😭😭😭
snehit.13 NOT LEAVING MY PHONE UNTIL THEY CONFIRM
blakelively oh wow
tay.y/nforevermore WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WOW'?????? y/n.sink MOM WHAT'S HAPPENING
y/n_sink
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y/n_sink it's yourname.official's new story AND OH MY GOD MY PARENTS ARE MARRIED IM DEAD liked by woodvaleisreal, y/n_sink and 100,309 others.
y/nandsadie.forevermore FORGET TEARDROPS MY GUITAR IS FLOODED
y/ntourupdates but her story is so real 😭😭😭
folkmore.forevermore THIS IS WHAT WE NEEDED BEST NEWS TO START THE NEW YEAR
yourname.official
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yourname.official IM OPENING FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (and the highest grossing tour, I could not be prouder) liked by tomhalland2013, blakelively and 7,208,600 others.
taylorswift could not be more excited, my love 🥹🩷🩷
blakelively my favorite girls, oh my god <3
folkmore.forevermore CONGRATS ON THE ENGAGEMENT
y/nandsadie.forevermore YOU'RE MARRIED????????
woodvaleisreal SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS AAAAHHH
conangray CONGRATULATIONS, MOTHER (why didn't you tell me??)
yourname.official what's up with the comments?
tomholland2013 i might've accidentally liked a post... yourname.official uh huh.... tomholland2013 it might've accidentally been about your nonexistent wedding, nevermind... yourname.official you're dead, spidey. folkmore WAIT WHAT IS GOING ON??
taylorswift
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taylorswift we got married? looking at all the fake wedding drama like 😦 liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 7,208,600 others.
yourname.official it was fun while it lasted 💘
zendaya wait, what drama??
tomholland2013 nothing, nothing at all. i- zendaya you good?? yourname.official got him mid-sentence... rest in peace, holland
forever.more I'M CRYING WHY IS THIS ONE NOT TRUE
y/n_sink i have never been this heartbroken, why.
folkmore.forevermore WHAT NOOO??????
blakelively i thought you didn't tell us </3
taylorswift you'd be the first one to know when it does happen tomholland you'd say yes to her? why?? yourname.official shush, you're dead.
y/ntourupdates THAT'S IT I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
jimmyfallon
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jimmyfallon we're gonna have yourname.official talking about the eras tour, the wedding rumors and should she "pull a monica" for a surprise proposal? don't worry, blondie can't see this post liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 3,200,600 others.
comments on this post have been limited
yourname.official i should go do it...
blakelively best of luck, darling <3
tmz
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tmz We are not coming to you with fake news this time, that time was in yourname.official's words... "all Tom Hollands fault". On the Jimmy Fallon show, the singer revealed that all the comments by the fans made her reflect on her relationship and said that "I couldn't be happier being with my girlfriend and I just think maybe we should get married. Taylor was scared at first that the people would believe the news and we'd have to get married when I'm not ready but.. it's like that one f.r.i.e.n.d.s. episode, maybe I should pull a monica and ask her." We could not be happier for the couple, now it's up to Ms. Swift to follow her own lyrics and baby just say yes. liked by zendaya, blakelively and 5,060,700 others.
forever.more I WAS WATCHING AND I LITERALLY SOBBED WHEN SHE SAID THIS, THEY ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER
y/n_sink THEY BETTER GET MARRIED BECAUSE OH MY GOD
folkmore.forevermore IMPATIENTLY WAITING FOR NEW NEWS ON THIS BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST THING TO BEGIN THE YEAR WITH
gracieabrams they both have such a way with words, I'm actually crying.
yourname.official
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yourname.official NEVERMIND, SHE SAID YES liked by taylorswift, blakelively and 11,060,789 others.
taylorswift I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OF COURSE I SAID YES
yourname.official YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY AGAIN
gracieabrams FINALLY 🥹💖💖
tomholland13 to think i made this happen
yourname.official shUSH tomholland2013 congratulations and you're welcome 🙄💕
conangray YOU'RE FINALLY MARRIED AAAAAAHHHHH
oliviarodrigo CONGRATS GUYS!!
forever.more YOU GUYS ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER, THIS IS AMAZING
y/n_sink LITERALLY THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE
taylorswift
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taylorswift of course i said yes, there is no other answer when it comes to her 🩷🩷🩷 liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 13,000,000 others.
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had a lot of fun writing this, maybe I'll make the wedding a part 5? stay happy and hydrated!
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justmychampagneproblems · 2 years ago
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Whenever I think about all the drama happening rn
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Just leave them alone
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annagxx · 3 months ago
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SELENA got ENGAGED 😭 🧿💍
I'm so so happy
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povpacks · 11 months ago
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pov u stan selena gomez and ur fav taylor album is ttpd
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dinsposable · 2 months ago
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hi there, dinda’s here—feel free to call me din! 👋
i’m back on tumblr because elon ruined twitter, and i try to steer clear of that bloke’s nonsense. if you’re anti-elon and anti-trump, you’ve come to the right place.
i stan billie, taylor, and selena. i enjoy spending hours scrolling for cute cats 🐱, binge-worthy shows and films 🎞️, and arcane (especially cait and vi). if you do too, we’ll probably get along. also, i’m bi (if that wasn’t obvious yet), so queer-friendly vibes only! 🌈
i’m here to unleash my feminine rage, share my obsessions, and reblog my way to inner peace. if that sounds like your vibe, hit follow—or feel free to ask me anything. i love answering questions, especially when i’ve got nothing better to do lol.
aight, cheers!
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mbsanandreas13 · 20 hours ago
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💙 good morning 🤍
🩵 happy Saturday! It’s just another work weekend for me as I’m back today. But on the brightside, Madison has been active on IG in the past 2 days, so glad she’s been active on IG. Now we just hope we get some news about her new music as well, and same with Kylie. And for Olivia, festlivia is almost here as Olivia is performing in multiple music festivals throughout the spring and summer! And for Jade, she released a new Music Video for her new song as well! So we’re being feed in the past couple of days! 💚
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corneliastreetapartment · 2 years ago
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FEELS LIKE PART 8
Niall Horan x Y/n swift
Story Masterlist
I AM SO SORRY I THOUGHT EVERYONE HATED THIS BUT SO MANY PPL HAVE LIKED THIS STORY LATELY SO NOW I WILL UPDATE REGULARLY. PROMISE
im making a tag list please dm me if you want to be added
ENJOY!
In todays episode: “nobody gives me butterflies anymore, yall just give me brain damage”
instagram
Ynofficial✔
📍London, UK
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Liked by Louistomlinson and 4,718,725 others
Ynofficial nobody gives me butterflies anymore, yall just give me brain damage
view all 29,132 comments
spaghettiprincess now WE ALL KNOW THATS NOT TRUE
Ynofficial stfu D
oliviarodrigo have you ever seen such beauty like the second slide?
oliviarodrigo trick question. no you haven't.
swiftie501 omg where do you live pls tell I'll send cookies
Finneas shmexy
Wherearetheavacados ew please never say that again Claudiasulweski  Ew pls dont Oliviarodrigo can you not
Y/nfan02 The best weekend ever
Ynofficial the best part being us putting sand into Conan's jeans pockets Finneas you're in central London where did you even get sand from Wherearetheavacados you think i cant get it from LA? swifTEA LOVE THIS PRANK GANG
1989swift YALL WE FINALLY SEE TAYLOR AND MER
meredithnation IKR!!!!!!!!
Andreaswift yes i received all 678 of them
swiftie501 MAMA SWIFT Selenagomez its a grievous task knowing Y/n edsheeran dont i know it Ynofficial gee thanks guys
Haylorschild OMG WHAT GUYS 3 DIFFERENT MEMBERS OF 1D WERE SPOTTED IN LONDON THE SAME DAY AS HER HOMECOMING PARTY
Taylanawhore wth how do you know there was a party Haylorschild Diana's yt channel bro! zarrywhore oh yeah yeah they were spotted in different parts but that could have been like just them meeting up, doesnt have to be related to y/n tho Haylorschild ive got a feeling they were ALL there N1allwhoren wait isn't niall supposed to be in ireland now?' nightchanges and harry is supposed to be recording in NY Haylorschild wth guys have we unearthed a secret liked by enews, teenvogue and 8,78,974 others
Mollyswifty02's story
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Spaghettiprincess's story
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bbg
oliviarodrigo's story
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disneylife0463 · 1 year ago
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siriustaylorsversion · 2 years ago
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She's always owned my heart (Taylor Swift x reader) pt.2
it's been a long time coming... part 1 part 3 part 4
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taylorswift
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taylorswift In my Eras era. 💅 liked by yourname.official, gracieabrams and 10,556,004 others.
yourname.official it's been a long time coming, miss americana 🫶🏼
florence.bysinks WAIT WILL WE SEE YOU TOGETHER??? gracieabrams mothers 🧎🏻‍♀️ forever.more GRACIE REPRESENTS ALL OF US DJWNJWCNJKHRCG
sadiesink_ OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD
blakelively screaming crying throwing up
y/n_sink I'M LITERALLY CRYING
tay.y/nforevermore MOTHER CAME BACK STRONGER THAN A 90'S TREND costataylorsversion i wake up TO THIS???
yourname.official
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yourname.official is there anything better than opening for the opening night for the best, most talented woman? wait... what if it's performing with her? WHAT IF IT'S BOTH??? glendale, can't wait to see you tonight! liked by taylorswift, blakelively and 7,900,544 others.
taylorswift stop i'm BLUSHING
yourname.official *plays maroon* costataylorsversion NOT yourname.official BEING THE DEFINITION OF A SWIFTIE oliviarodrigo i LIVE for these interactions
conangray TAKE MY HOUSE GIMME TICKETS
oliviarodrigo (real) snehit.13 😭🫶🏼😭💘
ememyers SEE YOU TONIGHT MOTHERS
tay.y/nforevermore please gimme the tickets or jenna's number I'M BEGGING YOU zendaya 💕💕
theerastour.updates
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theerastour.updates taylorswift and yourname.official IN THEIR INSTAGRAM STORIES!!!!!! liked by yourname.official, forever.folklore and 400,930 others
taylorswift
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taylorswift WOW, just… wow. Thank you to the band, dancers, and I can’t stop talking about how insanely magical it was playing for you guys tonight. You were always bouncing, dancing, screaming every lyric. And you created so many breathtaking moments for us, you know what I mean. Looove yooouuu.
And, yourname.official, YOU WERE WITH ME throughout this unreal night!! Beyond the music, you are my partner in every sense of the word. Through the highs and lows, you've stood by my side, and together, we've made memories that I will cherish for eternity.
Thank you, my love, for being the muse behind every lyric, for sharing this magical stage with me, and for filling my life with endless love and happiness. With you, the world becomes a symphony, and I am forever grateful for the melody we create together. liked by yourname.official, blakelively, and 11,800,300 others.
yourname.official I'M CRYING WTF
yourname.official MY HEART JUST SKIPPED 13 BEATS
tomholland2013 so you're dead... hopefully? tay.y/nforevermore MY FAVORITE ON SCREEN SIBLINGS😭
theerastour.updates IM FREAKING OUT I WANNA BE HERE OH MY GOD I WANT TICKETS PLEASE
ememyers LITERALLY THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE 💘
zendaya SAME conangray *plays jealousy jealously* oliviarodrigo STOP- forever.folklore CONAN REPRESENTING ALL OF US RN
blakelively MY FAVORITE PEOPLE ARE HERE AAHH
vancityreynolds The girls and I are offended... blakelively shush, now's not the time.
yourname.official
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yourname.official THANK YOU TO ALL THE LOVELY FANS, THANK YOU TO THE GODDESS THAT IS BLONDIE!!! i was dared to write something more romantic than taylorswift wrote.. we all know that's not possible but i shall try.
taylor, beyond the stage, you are my rock, my confidante, and my partner in crime. your unwavering support and love have lifted me up in ways I never thought possible.
tonight reminded me of the beautiful journey we've embarked on together, both personally and professionally. the music we've made, the memories we've shared, and the love we've cultivated is something i hold dear to my heart. it's a testament to the power of two souls intertwining and creating something extraordinary.
thank you, for being my light in the darkness, for always believing in me, and for making this night an unforgettable chapter in our story. with you by my side, anything feels possible, and i am forever grateful for the love we share. it's you and me, that's my whole world. liked by taylorswift, zendaya and 9,700,405 others.
taylorswift your caption is definitely better than mine, i'm crying
taylorswift MEET ME BEHIND THE STAGE YOU LITERAL ANGEL.
yourname.official your wish is my command. tomholland2013 😏 yourname.official @tomholland2013 DIE.
conangray WHEN I TELL YOU I SOBBED
ememyers literally the most relatable person ever. florenceby.sink CONAN FNKHTNJAWHTBVJWHJ
blakelively IM CRYING MY BABIES ARE BREAKING RECORDS 🥺
mayahawke PLEASE PERFORM TOGETHER AGAIN. PLEASE GIVE TICKETS. PLEAASSEE.
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DOES ANYONE WANT ANOTHER PART??? I NEED REQUESTS??
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winterximoff · 2 years ago
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cinelestial · 1 year ago
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trendfilmsetter
This Week on Social Media
Keeping you updated on this weeks happenings in pop culture on social media
January 7th - January 13th
👶🏻 Halle Bailey and DDG welcome their new son named Halo.
🏆 Succession, The Bear, Beef, and Oppenheimer win big at the 2024 Golden Globe Awards.
👯 A video of Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez and Keleigh Teller chatting at the Golden Globes goes viral. Fans speculate it’s about Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner which Selena denies.
🎶 The Weeknd teases a trilogy album for After Hours and Dawn FM
📺 Jonathan Majors gives his first interview after being convicted for domestic violence charges. Megan Good is by his side.
🎥 Filming for Stranger Things has begun.
🎀 Lindsay Lohan and Meg Thee Stallion alongside the Mean Girls cast attend the Mean Girls premiere in NYC.
🏌️‍♂️ Tiger Woods and Nike part ways.
👶🏻 Kali Uchis announces that she’s pregnant and expecting a child with Don Toliver
🏀 Stephen A. Smith goes on a rant about Jason Whitlock.
👙 Rihanna releases new images for Savage x Fenty.
🎵 Ariana Grande releases the first single for her new album Eternal Sunshine titled ‘yes, and?’
🎵 21 Savage releases new album titled American Dream.
🎵 Lil Nas releases new single titled J Christ
🎵 Kid Cudi releases new album Insano
🎬 Mia Goth is being sued for attacking an extra on the set of Maxxxine.
🏈 The Buffalo Bills vs Pittsburgh Steelers game is postponed due to dangerous snow weather conditions.
🏈 Kansas City and the Miami Dolphins will play in one of the coldest playoff games in NFL history.
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folklore-barnes · 2 years ago
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corazones rotos ❤️‍🩹 hype version | playlist
flowers // miley cyrus
so what // boys world
my girlfriends are my boyfriend // demi lovato, saweetie
you and i // léon
last summer // zara larsson
break up song // little mix
picture to burn // taylor swift
escapism // raye, 070 shake
supercut // lorde
mirror // sigrid
who says // selena gomez
flores // daniela spalla
permanent december // miley cyrus
one of us // ava max
mamiii // becky g, karol g
save your tears // the weeknd
baby lay your head down // aly & aj
anything but me // muna
bois lie // avril lavigne, mgk
busy boy // chloe x halle
tqg // karol g, shakira
karma // taylor swift, ice spice
bad romance // lady gaga
mr. hughes // demi lovato
don't feel like crying // sigrid
potential breakup song // aly & aj
overpass graffiti // ed sheeran
mr. perfectly fine // taylor swift
hair // little mix
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silknspice · 1 month ago
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BAD LIARS —
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fake dating hockey! vi x reader | fluff, angst, fake dating trope, romcom-ish, smut (mdni 18+) wc 20.8k
synopsis: following the release of four outdated love letters, vi vanderson is more than willing to start fake dating the girl of her dreams as a way to get rid of your clingy ex (and her ex hookup): caitlyn kiramman. 
content: fake dating trope, some fake insta/snap stories/smau content!, language, betrayal, makeup smut (kissing, fingering, oral, mdni!), clingy ex!caitlyn, college au, lying, miscommunication
soundtrack: if you let me (alina baraz) | lowkey (niki) | lovers (anna of the north) | see through (amelia moore) | fetish (selena gomez) | kill bill (sza) | all of the girls you loved before (taylor swift) | two weeks (fka twigs) | everything happens for a reason (madison beer) | every summertime (niki)
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Three-fourths of your favorite cereal is absolutely disgusting. 
The deep blue circles start off sweet, but leave a bitter aftertaste that stains your tongue. The auburn ones aren’t all that bad, but they get too soggy, disintegrating into grains that fade into the now colored milk. The chestnut brown discs are so scarce that their taste is completely forgettable; you swear there’s only three in each batch. 
Had these been the only flavors, you’d chuck the box in the trash and scold your best friend-roommate Mel for even bringing them into your shared apartment. But that one-fourth of strawberry pink circles make it worth it every time. They’re sweet on your tongue, sweet on your heart, swee—
“What’s with the look?” 
Mel’s concern-filled voice brings you back to the present, making you smile sheepishly like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. The girl slides her white puffer jacket on, keys jingling in her hand as she awaits an answer. 
“Nothin’, just ate a blue one.” Your mouth flattens, attempting to squeeze the bitter flavor from your tastebuds. 
The gold-eyed girl hums. She blinks as her arms cross and she takes two, then three cautious steps towards you. Her gaze flickers faster than light, attempting to read every inch of your body language. 
“You know,” she starts, sitting down to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. “If you need to talk about it, I’m here. Don’t feel like you have to suffer in silence.” 
That makes you snort, soft reassuring laughter following as you shake your head with confidence.
“Suffer? Mel, I broke up with Caitlyn, not the other way around.” 
“Yeah, but transitioning from a relationship to a peace-abundant single life is hard nonetheless.. unless you’re ready to jump to the rebound stage?” Her full brows raise in persuasion as she finishes her sentence. In her mind, getting laid would solve any problems that the complex inner-workings of your mind could craft. 
The question catches you off guard once more. Not that it should. It’d be a big fat lie to claim the idea never crossed your mind. In fact, it planted itself inside your brain like a bug and dug all the way down to memories you’d attempted to forget. Down to highschool of all places (God forbid). Down to those four names that perfectly defined the word ‘desire’ for you. Ellie Williams, Caitlyn Kiramman, Sky Young, and Violet Vanderson. 
Ellie, a fellow camp counselor at Wildflower Haven your junior year, took hold of your heart on day one. Sneaking out of your cabins at night, skinny dipping in the camp lake, even making matching bracelets that you claimed you’d ‘wear forever’. Your crush blossomed at superluminal speed. But before you knew it, camp was coming to an end and you were saying goodbye forever. 
Caitlyn Kiramman. A classic senior-year-of-high-school crush that didn’t develop until the first semester of college sophomore year. Your now ex, who is the last person you want to think about. High five to your high school self for predicting that one, though. 
Sky Young, a skating instructor at your local ice rink: Polar Peaks. After you’d fallen on your face for the fourth time and were ready to give up, you saw chestnut brown curls above you, decorating one of the friendliest smiles you’d seen to date. She helped you rise to your feet and held your hand for a lap around the rink. Unfortunately, you were a sophomore when she was a senior, and a week later you returned to the rink to find out she’d officially left for college. Not that there was anything between you two. Still, you could dream. 
And last, but certainly not least, Violet Vanderson. The star athlete of your school’s hockey team then and now. Sculpted muscles, a singular tattoo that multiplied quickly after graduation, and a killer smile that could put a halt to the gears turning in any girl’s head.
It was a simple interaction. You were the first one to read your final poem in front of your literature class with clammy palms, a shaky voice, and a dream. As you finished, looking at attentive students like a deer in headlights, Vi was the first to clap. It was enthusiastic, loud, and genuine. And like always, other students followed suit. 
Vi didn’t know you. She knew of you, the bits and pieces she could gather. You were somewhat of a social butterfly, you smelled of strawberry and vanilla every time you passed her seat, you were mind-consumingly beautiful, and you could write. Unfortunately for the both of you, your paths didn’t seem to cross any further than that.
And so, you wrote a letter.
Four love letters, to be exact. Each one in the high point of your crushes, attempting to soothe the longing feeling in your gut that ached for you to do something. You wrapped them all the same, in either a dark blue, chestnut brown, auburn, or pink envelope with a bow on the seal, even going as far as addressing and stamping them. Of course, they were never meant to be sent, which led them to their hiding place in a rose-red cylindrical fabric box that was stashed away into the depths of your closet. 
“C’mon, you’re hot and single again. I have some good contestants–”
“I don’t know Mels,” you cut her off with a look too mixed to decipher. “But really, I’m good,” you reassure, taking another spoonful of cereal into your mouth. 
Yuck–  another blue one. 
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“Sevika, what the fuck!”
Gert’s complaint was drowned out by skates shuffling against the abused ice. Players clad in blue and white practice jerseys messily fill the space, fighting to keep up with Sevika. The woman speeds past, guiding the puck along the ice and slamming it into the goal.
The sounds of hurried feet and grunts subside, leaving breathless panting and shared looks of confusion across the teammates’ faces. But one pair of skates never slows, coming up behind the buff figure and skidding to a stop.
“The hell are you doing?” Vi scolds the woman with a scrunched up face of judgement. This is the sixth time Sevika’s pissed her off this week and it’s starting to get on her last nerve. “You’re hogging the puck. You’re not the only person on this team, in a game this would’ve–” 
“Get the hell out of my face,” the burly woman throws back, shoulder checking Violet hard enough to make her break her cool, squaring her shoulders and raising her voice with a “Sevika,”. 
“Vanderson! Grove!” Coach Talis’s voice echos throughout the rink, making the hockey players stop in their tracks. 
“Unless you two want to run extra drills: cut it out. Now.” 
“Is it just me, or is she being more of a fucking pain than usual?” Vi asks the woman across the locker room rhetorically, slipping on a clean compression shirt and plopping down on the bench to knot her laces. 
“I told you dude, she wants to be you, or at least take your spot.” the blonde sighs, pulling her braided hair from under the pullover she just slipped on. “As long as she’s taking her anger our on you and not me..” She continues, and the pinkette throws her a scoff before the blonde continues. 
“You know if you need stress relief, you could always go back to Kiramman. Heard the pretty girl called things off with her.”
And although her teammate only muttered the words, they set off blaring alarms within Vi’s mind. Because she can’t go back to hooking up with Caitlyn, she lied to her friends saying the two of them were ‘too busy’ when in reality Vi called things off because she couldn’t stop thinking about the one girl she knew nothing about. You. And suddenly, you and Cait were dating. Suddenly, she sure as hell couldn’t tell anybody the real reason she stopped seeing her. 
“Nah Abby, not happening,” she simply replies, attempting to sound as bored with the topic as possible.
“Fine, stay dry. I’m just throwing things out there,” the blonde puts her hands up in defense, shutting her locker as she walks towards the exit. “Later!” she waves before slipping out of the door. 
A beat passes. Then two. Then three. Finally, she takes a deep breath, leans down to unzip her practice bag, and reaches in. 
And out Vi pulls a pink envelope, decorated with a bow perfectly placed on the front and her name adorned with hearts on the back. 
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The force of cool air coats your face as you walk throughout campus, ranting on the phone to Mel about your latest hell of a group project. “And it’s not even.. even.. sorry, I’m getting a call. Talk at home!” 
You smile at the friendly contact photo covering your screen, rounding some greenery as the parking lot comes into view. With a click of the ‘accept’ button, you're greeted with the gentlest of voices. “Hey!” 
A soft chuckle leaves your lips.
“Hey little man, look I’m about to drive home so I can’t talk for long,” you blinked a few times, realizing you went further from your car and spinning on your heels. 
“No worries,” he starts, “I just wanted to let you know that last week I was helping clean your old room and I found some letters, looks like you forgot to send them out? They were stamped and addressed and everything, so I just sent them for you.”
Ekko continues, giving some speech about God knows what.
But you can’t hear any of it, because the ringing in your ears is deafening.
No. 
It takes a few beats of your pure, shocked silence before your brain powers back on. And once it does, every inch of your mind is racing.
Okay, you thought to yourself. Ellie’s letter was addressed to camp, so there’s no chance of it getting to her anytime soon, if at all. Sky’s been gone for years, but you can’t remember the address you put down for her letter. Violet– shit. She definitely has hers. 
Oh. No. No, no, no. 
Your body feels oh so fragile and suddenly the idea of fleeing the country doesn’t sound entirely heinous, because only a few feet away stands Caitlyn.
Her blue hair is in a messy ponytail and her outfit is less perfected than usual, urgently thrown on. She’s searching, a determined expression plastered on her face as her gaze flickers through crowds of students.
For a moment, you pray it’s a misunderstanding. You pray she’s in a rush to find someone else, because there’s absolutely no way your ex was mailed a love letter you wrote in highschool. 
But your eyes trail down to her hand wrapped around that beautifully decorated navy envelope, and your knees are seconds away from buckling.  
“Yeah, yeah uh huh that’s great and all Ekko but I’ve really gotta go. Call me another time, okay?” you hit the ‘end call’ button with more force than needed and dash to your car. 
As you swing open the car door and drop inside with a slam shut, you can feel it. The way your heart pounds against your chest as if it’s trying to escape. That achy feeling that crawls its way up the back of your throat and transforms into tears that prickle at the corners of your worried eyes.
You shake your head, putting the key in the ignition and immediately shifting to reverse, not tending to your clouded vision. 
“Woah!” 
The somewhat-familiar yelp has your foot slamming on the breaks. Your face scrunches in confusion, the sleeve of your coat wiping your eyes just enough to make out the empty space behind your car as you look in your rearview camera. You’re confused, ready to switch the car back into ‘reverse’ before a tap tap at your window makes you gasp. 
Violet stands there, looking relaxed as an almost smug smile coats her lips. 
Your face distorts, torn between speeding off and giving in to her request, but before you make a decision, your manicured hands are rolling the window down. Cool air flows inside, but it loses to the subtle warmth that fills your body from the way the pinkette is eyeing you. 
“You know you’re supposed to check behind you before pulling out, right?” she teases.
The question itself is mocking, but the glint in her eye and how she leans down to relax a forearm on the car tells you to let it slide. 
“Right,” you agree. “Right, sorry about that. I just really need to leave so–” 
“Think y’ can explain this before you do?”
With no time to brace yourself, she holds up that stupid decorated pink envelope, and all you want to do is faint. 
“I don’t..” you whisper, accepting there’s nothing you can say to make this go away. But that blue hair is nearing, and you’re going to have a heart attack. 
“Can you get in?” you ask, voice a soft plea. 
Vi’s expression falters. That was the last thing she expected.
“Please?” you try again. “I can’t talk about this here.”
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Your foot’s going to fall asleep if you sit like this any longer.
The two of you stay perfectly still, worried that any form of movement will penetrate the bubble of silence that formed as soon as Vi sat in the plush passenger seat.
Her mind is racing, because the beautiful girl she’s had her eyes on for months sent her the most heartfelt confession she’s ever gotten, and now she’s sitting in her car in a secluded area of a park. For a moment, she wonders if she’s dreaming. But the sound of your seat belt unbuckling and you shifting to face her, sweet and cautious eyes looking into her soul, has her heart skipping beats. She concludes she’s wide awake.
“Interesting spot for our first date,” she hums after clearing her throat. “You’re not gonna kill me, right?” 
That has your expression faltering. 
“You’re..” you stammer, “you think this is funny?” 
“Listen I’m just a little confused, sunshine,” she doesn’t miss the way your body stills at the nickname. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered. But you and her majesty just broke up, and I think you should know that her and I—” 
“Just– let me see that.” you cut her off and reach out for the rosy packaging, but Vi’s quicker, pulling it back with a squint in her eyes.
“I’d like to know how mortified I should be,” you confess quietly after a beat of silence. “It’s been a while since I read yours.” 
Naturally, the athlete oozes confidence and cockiness, but the pure confusion that colonizes her expression makes all of that fade for the moment. Her guard is down, allowing you to reach over her lap and seize the envelope. 
“Wait wait wait,” she starts as you focus your attention on pulling the folded paper from the envelope. 
“What do you mean ‘yours’? Are you saying I’m not the only person who got one ‘f these?” she asks, voice laced with confusion and another emotion you can’t quite pinpoint. You ignore her, hands stilling as sour nostalgia hits you in the gut and knocks the wind out of you.
My dearest Violet,
Do you remember Ximena Talis’s creative writing class in junior year? You acted so uninterested in each lesson when your teammates were around, but when they were busy skipping class, you were sticking your nose in the next Shakespeare play or Edgar Allen Poe poem. You shared your own writings with the class, a bored look painting your face and an awkward laugh spilling from your throat (although, they really weren’t that bad). But when I stood in front of our peers and performed my spin on “Annabel Lee”, you rose to your feet in applause. I’ll always be grateful that it was you who gave me my first standing ovation. Because in that moment I knew, from my happily raised eyebrows down to the nervous shuffling of my feet, that I love you Violet Vanderson. I really, truly love you. 
You physically can’t read the rest of this.
The tense sensation in your stomach only tightens as you hastily fold the paper and toss it back to the athlete, who’s still examining you with a curious glint in her eye.
“Okay–  here’s the thing,” you begin after a deep breath. “I wrote four letters, and they’re all outdated, like– from sophomore through senior year. A family friend sent them out by accident.” 
The explanation has Violet blinking, because in one sentence you’ve managed to crush her plans that she confidently pranced over with. In one sentence, you’ve made her question what the hell she was thinking. In one sentence, you’ve washed away her suave persona and turned her to a questioning pile of mush, because– you’re not just trying to get into her pants?
“..Well who else got letters?” She cringes at her whiny tone, running a hand through her hair for comfort. 
“Uh,” you sigh and shift your position as you look anywhere but the girl, dread consuming your almost-annoyed face. “A girl from summer camp, some girl from the ice rink, and… Caitlyn.” The last word comes out as an embarrassed murmur that leaves Vi’s mouth agape in shock and pity. 
A few beats of silence pass before Vi’s eyes light up. 
It might be a crazy idea, and you might despise her after the suggestion leaves her lips, but she can’t pass up this opportunity.
“Things with Kiramman must be tense now, right?” she offers.
Your lips press together in silent agreement, gaze trailing to your shining phone screen.  35 new messages and 6 missed calls from Caitlyn, just in the past two hours. You’d texted Caitlyn an explanation as soon as you’d parked: that Ekko sent her an old letter and that was just that. But still, stubborn as always, the bluenette refuses to believe you. 
“You could say that,” you mumble reluctantly. “I just,” you whisper, “I don’t know what to do.”
Her gaze flickers up and down your frame once in final thought. Your bright eyes drooping with worry and once confident voice lacing with insecurity makes up her mind. She wants nothing more than to console you, to wrap her strong arms around your frame and make you beam. Vi’s not sure if it’s her or the seventeen year old in that creative writing class speaking, but words fall from her lips. 
“I could be your girlfriend.”
A wave of disbelief washes over you, leaving widened eyes and a pounding heart in its path. The panicked expression on your face is enough to have her next words sputtering out in consolation. 
“Fake girlfriend, of course.” The way your eyes soften in thought fuels her to continue. “Just for a little while y’know? To give Kiramman the hint.” Her words are spoken with more power as she sees the gears turning in your pretty little head.
The idea’s heinous, and the thought of your scheme being revealed makes your stomach turn in embarrassment for the both of you. It’s ridiculous, idiotic, and risky, but your phone lights up once again with a text from your navy-haired ex, and that’s enough to make you answer.
“Okay, let’s do it.” 
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caitlyn: I know you didn’t mean what you said. Just come and talk to me, love.  caitlyn: Jesus, don’t be stubborn. 
The messages continue on like a flood, piling onto your guilty conscience until the notification ringing becomes all too much, making you flick the silence button on your phone. The quiet doesn’t last long as you near the doors of the practice rink. Five players burst through the doors, a cluster of chaos and yells surrounding them before one girl, hair tied back into a dark brown bun, notices you. 
“That her?” she whispers to her teammates, their backs facing you as they walk away, but they whip their heads around (noticeably at that) to get glances at you. 
“Damnn.” another draws out, earning a slap on her neck. 
“How’d Vi do that so fast?” you hear another quip before they take a turn down the hallway. 
You only smiled gently, rolling your eyes at the comments as your hand pushed open the door to the rink. At least you make a believable couple. 
“You know, my words were ‘you could always go back to Kiramman, the pretty girl dumped her’, not ‘you should go bag your ex-fling’s ex-girlfriend’. They’ve been broken up for, what, two weeks? Does she even know about you and Cait?” Abby’s raspy voice fills the ice, making Vi shush her in annoyance.
“Yes, of course she knows.” 
There’s a beat of silence, neither of the players move when the words of a lie fill the air.
“Fuck fine. No, she doesn’t know yet. I’m just waiting for a good time..” Vi confesses, aimlessly kicking the ice.
“You know this makes you messy, right?” the strong blonde grinned. 
“Oh fuck off. Messy is pounding half the swim team.” The pinkette sends an accusatory glance and Abby’s raising her hands up in innocence with a shrug and a smug smile. She rounds the ice and stops in her tracks when you enter the room, glistening skin and a patient waiting look on your face. 
She snickers, letting out a quick whistle as she skates towards the exit off the ice. “Violet,” she coos in a sing-songy voice, “look who’s here for you.” 
The blonde waves goodbye to her friend once and sends you a wink before exiting the room.
Your hands are clasped behind your back as you take your time walking up to where the carpet and ice of the rink are separated. Realizing your limit, you lean your side against the entrance, looking at the athlete whose eyes are grazing over your attire painfully slow.
“You want some skates?” she finally speaks, eyes meeting yours with a glint.
You laugh gently. “Hell no.” She snickers along with you, removing her helmet to run a hand through her hair. 
“So you’ve,” you slightly raise your hand to point your thumb in the direction Abby and the other players exited, “you’ve told people already?” 
Worry flickers over her face, because for some reason she just can’t read you right like she can read other girls and it drives her insane. 
“Yeah, something wrong with that?” she asks cooly, placing her helmet back on the pink fluff as she glides around.
You bite the inside of your cheek in thought, finally shaking your head. “No, no I mean that’s the whole point, for people to know.” you hum. 
“But I have to ask, why are you doing this?”
Vi stops in her tracks, body turning to face yours from feet away. 
She contemplates it, telling you the truth. That she’s infatuated with and intrigued by you. That you’ve completely ruined hookups and “crushes” for her because she can’t get you out of her head. And maybe she doesn’t know you too well just yet, but she’s going to. And yes, she used to fuck your ex girlfriend way before you were even girlfriends, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the bond she wants to have with you, and she prays it doesn’t affect deem her unreliable. 
Yet none of that can come out of her mouth. So, she settles on her practiced lie and prays whoever’s up there doesn’t look down on her for it.
“Coach doesn’t like my reputation for ‘getting around’. Says it just doesn’t look good. Being with you gives me some cover.” She talks smoothly, making sure there’s not a hint of guilt behind her voice, because it's a lie. Coach Talis couldn’t care less about what she’s doing in her free time as long as she shows out on the ice. 
You only hum and nod.
You don’t notice how close she’s gotten until she’s there, staring down at you. Her musk and amber scent is intoxicating, seeping into your nostrils while powder blue eyes catch yours through her helmet and– is it possible she looks better than you remember?
“The letter,” you sputter out, mentally cringing as the pinkette raises a brow. “Can I see the letter again?” 
She’s cheesing, reaching into the pocket of her pants to whip out the neatly folded paper and.. is she just keeping that on her? 
As if she can read your mind and wide eyes, she speaks. “Just knew you’d want it,” she explains, placing it between your waiting fingers. She watches as you unfold the paper and look up at her. Thick silence fills the air before the athlete gets the hint, blinking twice with a nod. “Right, sorry,” Vi apologizes simply before skating off. 
You take a deep breath, heart swelling the same way it did when you first wrote this sweet confession. 
My dearest Violet,
Do you remember Ximena Talis’s creative writing class in junior year? You acted so uninterested in each lesson when your teammates were around, but while they were busy skipping class, you were sticking your nose in the next Shakespeare play or Edgar Allen Poe poem. You shared your own writings with a bored look painting your face and an awkward laugh spilling from your throat (although, they really weren’t that bad). But when I stood in front of our peers and performed my spin on “Annabel Lee”, you rose to your feet in applause. I’ll always be grateful that it was you who gave me my first standing ovation. Because in that moment I knew, from my happily raised eyebrows down to the shuffling of my nervous feet, that I love you Violet Vanderson. I really, really love you. 
When I sat back down in my seat, you slipped a pink sticky note back onto my desk. Gentle handwriting and a sweet smiley face in the corner decorated the words “that was amazing, how do you write so well?”. I’d never had my heart pound harder, never felt my palms sweatier or my spirits higher. As each day passes, I hope you’ll look at me with the same rose colored glasses as you did that class. I dream each night with my lovestruck brain of you taking me by the hand and asking me to be forever yours. I’ll be waiting, no matter how long it takes.
- forever yours, ____
It doesn’t take long before you get that warm and fuzzy feeling, the same one that caressed your body while you wrote this very letter. It takes even less time for it to be replaced with soul eating shame that has you wanting to curl into a ball. 
“You’ve always been a good writer,” she calls out, nearing you. “I meant it when I said it.” 
“..I know,” you agree, a smile forming against your will. 
Vi’s grinning at your sass, and damn is the only word that fills her brain. “How are things with Kiramman?” she asks gently.
“She just doesn’t believe me. She’s texted a thousand times since yesterday and is totally convinced I want her back.” you roll your eyes in exhaustion.
“Do you?” 
You pause at her question, because underneath that carefree and playful persona hides a hint of worry behind Vi’s voice, and it’s fueling the curiosity within you. “Why are you asking?”
A beat passes. “Just wanna know how humiliated I’ll be after all of this,” the pinkette admits.
Her confession makes you laugh and shake your head. “I wouldn’t do that to you,” you hum. “I broke up with Caitlyn and that’s that. If it takes a fake relationship and a little pda for her to see that then so be it.” 
Vi nods, making sure not to let the smile she’s feeling creep onto her face. 
“So you like writing, you’re smart as hell, you dress real cute,” she points a finger up and down your outfit and you tilt your head. “Anything else I should know about you or our little.. ordeal?” 
You tongue your cheek in silent thought before replying. 
“You can’t kiss me.” 
That has Vi’s brain short circuiting, because the image you’ve set in her mind from those words alone is sparking a crimson glow across her face and– fuck she shouldn’t be thinking about this. But she had to admit (to herself, not out loud of course), she’d have no problem with running her lips across yours if you asked for it. 
“Did Kiramman not kiss you, angel?” ‘She’d have to be a fucking idiot not to’ is the next thing that wants to come out of her mouth, but she settles for a soft tease. “That’s a couples thing, if you didn’t know.” 
“We kissed, obviously.” You cross your arms as you speak. “You can– y’know, hold me, kiss my.. anywhere else.” Both you and Vi feel a shift. Damn, are ice rinks always this warm? “Just, no real kissing. It’s too personal.” 
Vi gently nods, slipping out a soft ‘alright’ because you have a good point. 
She moves forward to step off the ice, placing a firm hand on your waist to gently guide you out of the way as she passes. Your body tenses at the touch, whipping your head towards the girl in surprise.
The pinkette notices, and she knows she shouldn’t chuckle at it, but she does. “If it’s gonna take ‘a little pda’, you might wanna get rid of that before this weekend,” she’s speaking cockily as she nears her bag, her helmet coming off for good.
You clear your throat. “What’s this weekend?”
“Party ‘m takin’ you to. Think of it as our couples debut.” And Vi loves the surprised little look on your face as you ask her if that’s ‘really necessary’.
“You really think anyones gonna believe we’re together if I’m at a party all by myself? Who’s gonna fight off all the girls craving my attention, sunshine?” 
You wonder if the notorious smirk on her face is permanent as she slings her practice bag on a sculpted shoulder as she moves to tower over you, the cool air of the rink becoming very present.
“So you’re coming, yeah?” 
Your eyes travel from hers to the empty space beside her in thought. 
“Of course.”
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“You’re sure it’s not too boob-y?” 
You tug at your low cut top, half yelling over the chaos of other students to your roommate who’s eyeing you like your one head has turned into five. 
“Wait, you didn’t want it to be ‘boob-y’? Practically wearing a bra,” she yells back with a knowing smile, sipping from the red cup that quickly found her hands. At the sight of your worry, her smugness turns to playful comfort. “Come on, you’re at a frat not a damn funeral. You look sexy.”
“She’s right.”
The raspy voice behind you is unfamiliar, sending a soft chill down your spine that turns you on your heels. 
You’re met with a tall, muscular, brownskin woman. Half of her hair is pulled back, and loose strands fall to decorate her face that holds piercing eyes which are completely directed on you. You’ve seen her before for sure, but her name is the last thing on your mind as her eyes trail over every inch of your exposed skin. 
“Sevika,” she tells lowly, placing a red cup between your manicured fingers to which you scoff under your breath. 
You give her the benefit of the doubt. 
“___,” you offer your name, looking for any hint of recognition on her face, and you get it when she smirks and tilts her head. 
“I know who you are, beautiful,” she purrs.
“Then you also know I’m Vi’s girlfriend?” you throw back. The words feel completely foreign on your tongue, but come out so awfully right. 
The raven’s eyebrows raise right before she huffs out a laugh of disbelief, sipping from whatever mixture graced the cup in her hand. “Girlfriend?” she repeats. “Shit, with the way she was talking about you, I thought you were just a hookup.” 
The air’s suddenly much thicker, tenser, and you don’t have much time to process what Sevika just laid upon you before pink hair makes its way through the crowd.
“There’s my girl,” Vi calls out as she nears you, her sweet words cutting the tension like a knife. “Been looking all over for you,” she speaks as gently as she can in the atmosphere, completely ignoring the presence of her teammate.
“Hi,” you simply let out. Your knees feel weak and you think maybe you’re not cut out for this, because the pinkette slides a warm hand around your waist and places a chaste kiss down on your bare shoulder. 
She’s pulling back from your skin when her eyes land on the cup in your hand, a confused glint in her eye as she squints. “Thought you drove?” The calloused fingers tracing meaningless patterns on your skin and soft breathy words hitting your face from just inches away make you feel like Melting. What’d she ask again?
“No,” is all you manage to stammer out, shifting in the girl’s arms until the right words form in your head. “No this isn’t mine.” you’re mentally facepalming.
Vi’s eyes flicker from you, to the cup, to Sevika, finally piecing together her part in this. The athlete stands a bit taller, gently taking the drink from your hands and shoving it against Sevika’s chest. Some of the liquid splashes over the cup, leaving droplets of a stain on the angry woman’s shirt.
Sevika’s slowly taking the cup without breaking eye contact. Her gaze is sharper than daggers as Violet huffs out a scoff, her grip on your waist more present as she guides you away from the brute and through the crowd of partygoers. 
“I’m sorry about her. One asshole of a teammate.” Vi’s words kiss your ear to avoid yelling as she walks. “You okay?” she asks slightly softer, which earns her a nod and quick ‘yeah’. The pinkette’s hand snakes from around your waist down to grab one of yours, holding you tightly as you worm your ways through the horde. 
As you exit the crowd your left arm finds its way to wrap around her right, placing your free hand lazily on her bicep, because if you had to feel her fingertips on your skin anymore you’d faint. The pair of you walk through the spacious backyard, decorated with a pool, groups of your classmates, and a cluster of hockey players lounging on some couches that circle a fire pit. 
“You ready?” She whispers softly.
“Ready,” you reply with a smile that turns into an “o” shaped mouth, big worried eyes capturing VI’s. “They won’t ask me about hockey, right?” 
The girl lets out a sweet, genuine laugh, and so cute is what she’s mentally replying. 
“There you are!” Abby calls out as soon as the two of you are in her vision. The rest of the team follows, greeting both you and Vi, throwing her smirks or nods of approval when you have your focus elsewhere. Vi sits, sprawling out against the couch with her legs perfectly spread for you. As if it were natural, her hands find their way around your hips and she guides you down into her lap. 
And you hate it. 
Not the feeling of her firm chest against your back, not her warm legs encasing your bare and crossed ones, not even the way she wraps her muscular arms around your torso and places her head so close to yours. 
You hate how normal she’s making all of this feel, how your brain is being fried with each touch, but your faux girlfriend doesn’t seem to be bothered one bit. And you’re starting to wonder if it’s a problem. 
“How’d you two even meet? Didn’t you and the chick from the basketball team just break up?” one of her teammates questions you with a raised brow. 
Fuck is all your brain renders, and you hope the shock didn’t show on your face because—
“I’ve had the hots for her since high school, thought it was time to do something about it,” Vi replies. A proud feeling washes over her when your body relaxes in her arms.
You’re gently squeezing her arm twice, thankful that she’s such a great actor. She’s running her thumb against your skin, thankful that you can’t read minds. 
A few sweet nods and noises of approval are let out before Abby speaks up. “‘The hots’? What are you, fifty?” She jokes, earning a grinning ‘fuck off’ from Vi. 
The teammates’ conversation continues both with and without you, leaving moments for you to think of something ‘girlfriendish’ to say or a new place on Vi’s skin to touch. And then, it starts. Against Vi’s rolling eyes and Elora’s complaint that this is “so middle school”, a game of truth or dare ensues. Ever the fun one, the blonde convinces everyone that it’ll be fun, that it’s good to be childish every once in a while. 
So far, Gert’s been dared to send an ‘i miss you’ voice note to her ex and is utterly ashamed, Abby’s mouth tastes both bitter and spicy from the liquor concoction the teammates dared her to drink, another girl has been stripped down to her shorts and wife pleaser and shooed away from the fire to ‘endure the cold’ for ten more minutes. 
When it comes to the other teammates, you don’t know how many “___ and i banged” truths and “take this many shots” dares you hear before it’s finally your turn. 
“Truth or dare?” Vi coos in your ear.
“Truth–” 
“Dare?” she cuts you off with a mean grin. “Alright, I dare you to jump into the pool. Right here, right now.” 
Your head whips towards the girl fast enough to send chills down the pinkette’s spine. The hockey team is whooping and cheering you on as Violet comes to a stand with your mid area still locked by her arms. 
“No– no– I said truth Vi!” you sputter out. Your body and mind are moving at an astronomically slow speed because before you know it, Vi’s scooping you off the ground and throwing you over her shoulder effortlessly. As she begins to walk, the hollering of the team growing in intensity, one of her warm hands lays at the back of your thigh, holding down the bottom of your already short skirt. The other trails its way down your leg and to your feet, slipping off your shoes and letting them fall with a plop. 
“Violet Vanderson.” you warn firmly, squirming in anticipation as you neared the icy blue water. You’re feeling five emotions at once, and at the same time evaluating how much Caitlyn’s perception on things truly matters, because you’re this close to firing your ‘girlfriend’. 
When she suggested this entire ordeal you imagined it’d be standing together for an hour and dancing, going out for drinks once or twice, maybe even an instagram story or two. 
You didn’t expect pool shenanigans, shoulder kisses, and powerful arms wrapped around your sides every two seconds. You didn’t expect to be having fun, let alone like it. 
“Put me down!” you yelp through rising giggles.
“A dare’s a dare, angel.” she speaks lowly over her shoulder to you, who’s dangling helplessly in her grasp. “C’mon, it looks good for us as a couple,” she whispers.
“Wait wait wait!–” 
Your last threat is drowned out as Vi jumps into the glowing blue.
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“Wonder how many people have had sex in here tonight,” you joke through chattering teeth. You’re holding your soaked hair together to the best of your ability as to not drench everything in your path, but truthfully, water is the cleanest thing to grace those frat floors. Vi trails right in behind you, snorting out a laugh as she leans against the closed door. 
The pinkett’s pool stunt only had you upset for so long, mostly out of shock of her actually going through with it. However, once you rose to the surface of the water, the only things that could spill from your mouth were hearty giggles. 
What made it ten times better was that people saw, Vi’s teammates whooped while others just snickered at the ‘new couple’s’ playfulness. 
What made it a hundred times better was Abby informing you of how pissed Caitlyn looked, staring at you and Vi before storming back the way she came from. 
“Enough to start a new std?” She flashes her pearly whites at her own joke.
“Violet!” you cringe, making her chuckle. 
As cold as your water-soaked clothing, skin, and drenched hair makes you, the athlete’s soft gaze is a lighter igniting a blaze in the pit of your stomach. For the first time in a long time, protected by the walls of someone’s room, you’re able to explore her face. 
Perfect, full brows are intercepted by a slit with one to match down on the the left of her rosy lips. Sweet freckles dance on and around her nose, and gosh she’s pretty. It’s the same face you’d admired years ago, but you still look at her as if you’ve discovered her beauty all over again. You stand there attempting to pinpoint what shade of blue her eyes are when she finally speaks up. 
“Here,” the athlete steps closer, taking off her thick black coat and handing it over sheepishly. “Can’t do anything about your skirt, but I thought these would help.” A hint of blue and white fabric peeks out from underneath, and you unravel it to reveal a jersey. One of her jerseys. 
There’s a glint of suspicion in your eye, and Violet’s in fear. 
“You just.. keep this in your car? All the time?” You question with a perfectly raised eyebrow. 
Vi clears her throat. Because no, no she doesn’t. She just had to do something to get you in her clothes. 
A beat passes with no response, and finally the pinkette’s eyes are flickering around the room before she turns. “I’ll let you get changed.” 
The door’s opening and closing before you can protest, and it’s finally safe for that suppressed smile to grace your lips without shame.  
It doesn’t take long for you to strip out of your sopping clothes and into the oversized comfiness of Vi’s. You examine yourself in the full length mirror, fixing your wet hair to the best of your ability and running your hands over the warmth of the new clothing. It sMells just like Violet, and you convince yourself that you don’t care, but underneath that protective mask is the lovestruck teenage girl you once were.
Turning on your heels, you gather the wet bundles of fabric and head for the door when someone on the other side beats you to it. 
Correction, the last person you want to see beats you to it. 
Caitlyn’s quick to step inside the room, closing the door with an indecipherable expression plastered on her face. Her brows furrow with more distaste than usual, and her once perfect navy blue locks now have strands messily shaken out of place. Your tongue is strangled by the bite of your teeth. It takes everything in you not to roll your eyes to the back of your head. 
“Violet Vanderson?” She wastes no time, chary eyes examining your face with crossed arms. “Really?”
You’re done holding back, so you scoff.
“Yes, really. What, are you jealous?” you quip. “Y’know what, don’t answer that. I already know.” 
She ignores the sassy remark. “I’m surprised you chose her, considering everything.” 
You raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Considering, what exactly?” 
Caitlyn’s poker face had been drilled into her since she was a kid, but the bluenette physically had to suppress the amusement from taking over her face when she realized: you had no clue. 
“I just didn’t think she was your type, and that was awfully fast,” she saves. 
“I didn’t cheat on you, if that’s what you’re insinuating.” You spit the words like they burn on your tongue as impatient hands come up to rest on your hips. 
“I’m insinuating that I don’t believe whatever this is.” 
That has you pausing. Your face, demeanor, and attitude all stay the same, but you both notice the shift in the air. 
“I think you realize you messed up when you broke things off, and now you’re playing hard to get.” She continues, stepping forward as her toned arms fall to her sides. 
“There’s no need to play games with me, you know.” 
Cait’s look is condescending, and it only pisses you off more when her hand reaches out to caress yours. The perfect persuasion, an easy fix to all of her problems when the utter of her surname isn’t quite enough. But you’re not easy, and you didn’t mess anything up. So you quickly swat it away, sneering as you step around the tower of a girl and towards the door. 
“Get over yourself, Caitlyn.” 
You exit the room with blood red vision, a fury which follows you on your journey to find Mel in the drunken crowd and pull her to the front while Vi offers to walk both of you to your car. 
And in your red haze, you miss the eye contact Caitlyn and Sevika make from across the crowded room. 
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Sweat is dripping from the athletes’ foreheads down to the stretch of their neck as Talis blows his whistle, allowing the players to catch their breaths.  
Normally, Vi would be more than willing to stay longer than the scheduled practice time. Running fun drills with Abby, racing Gert, whatever the matter may be. Hockey is her thing. 
But, at the moment, you’re also ‘her thing’. And right now you were patiently waiting in your apartment for Vi to make an appearance. A friendly one, of course. Away from watching eyes and overwhelming questions, where you could discuss your next moves in peace–as peaceful as you could get with the muscular tease looking at you as if you were a star to wish on at night. 
So she keeps her mouth shut and her eyes trained on Coach Talis (who’s giving some end-of-practice spiel) as Sevika glides up next to her.
She keeps her mouth shut as the brute lets out a soft scoff at how hard Vi’s trying to ignore her. 
She has to bite hard on her tongue when the woman mutters something about the pink-haired athlete needing to ‘give up while she’s still ahead’. 
And her mouth opens immediately when your name falls from Sevika’s lips. “___, she really is somethin’ huh–?” 
“Don’t fuck with me, Sevika,” she threatens, a tad louder than expected. Their stubborn gazes stay locked on one another, and Sevika’s letting out a scoff while squaring her firm shoulders.
“Or what?” the raven throws back, intimidation oozing from her presence.
“Hey! What did I say?” The bubble of their rivalry is popped as Coach Talis raises his voice. 
“That’s it. Bag skates.” 
[REDACTED]: you sure this’ll work? 
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When Vi finally shows up at your sun-glistening apartment, her hair is wet from the quick shower she took, she’s a total blubbering mess about how she’s crazy sorry and feels terrible for making you wait an extra hour, and she’s holding one cup of coffee that looks exactly like the one you always order.
“Vi, seriously it’s okay,” you chuckle, and the girl deflates in soft relief. A smile sweet as honey graces your face and Vi finally figures it out: you’re just an angel in disguise.
You reach over from your seat on the couch to take the cup of coffee from her hand. It’s your order to a T, and the sip you take sends a cold trail of liquid down your throat and into the warmth of your stomach. 
“Mmm,” you hum, making Vi malfunction when you lick the remnants from your lips. “Did you chug yours on the way?” you ask.
Perfect blue eyes blink twice while Violet calculates the odds that you’ll say yes if she were to suggest you drop the whole act and venture off on a real date right now. 
“Oh– hell no. I can’t stand coffee. I just went to get you one,” she hums without thought. Fifty-five percent chance, not good enough. 
“Again, I’m sorry. Sevika’s been more of an asshole than usual. Made us run back and forth on the ice until we practically collapsed. Don’t know what the hell she was thinking though, almost missed her shift at that rink..” Violet continues on with conflicted brows furrowing and a hardened gaze. But just like waves washing away at imperfections in grainy sand, the awestruck glimmer in your eyes wipes the fury from her blood. 
“You went just for me?” the question comes out almost as a whisper.
Violet swears she can feel her heart Melting from your actions, and the feeling bubbles its way up as words in her throat. “Of course.”
It’s left at that. Of course, a declaration that it was common sense she’d be of service to you even behind the scenes. Neither of you dare to ask or explain why. For a moment, there’s no words. Just the soft sensation of little breaths, beating hearts, and wandering gazes, but only for a moment.
“Cait doesn’t believe us,” you spill.
Vi can only huff gently, shifting in her seat as her spread legs move a bit wider. 
“She’s smart, I’ll give her that.” Vi hums in thought. The cogs in her brain get distracted and come to a halt when she sees the glistening worry in your orbs, and without thought, her hand is coming up to hold your chin, guiding it to connect your gazes.
“Hey, we’ll fix it, alright?” She reassures, and a thumb glides over your cheek. The moment is tender, something deep and sweet, but it doesn’t take long for the both of you to pull back as your eyes flicker anywhere else. 
“We just need to… to up our game.” At the sight of your confused eyes, she continues. “Give me your phone,” Vi instructs softly, holding her hand out.
You simply obey, placing the device in her hand with a slight squint in your eyes. 
All uncertainty is replaced with giggles and content when Vi holds up the camera. Her left hand holds the phone while her right arm lifts into frame next to her face and flexes, revealing the entirety of her sculpted muscles. 
Jesus, your mind betrays you.
After the snap of the camera, the pinkette hands the device back to you. 
“Make it your lock screen,” she speaks so casually, like the idea behind these actions have no effect on her whatsoever. A black cased phone is then slid into your hands, and big powder-blue eyes are staring at you expectantly. 
“Oh, you want..” you internally cringe at the stammer. 
“Of course, needa see your face too.” she states with a grin.
You’re nodding at that, as if a swarm of what you think are butterflies aren’t rummaging around in your gut. Raising the camera in your manicured fingers, you snap a photo mocking Vi’s. More kissy face, less muscles. The athlete has the biggest grin as she takes the device back, and with a ‘there’, your face is  blessing her lockscreen. 
“So, should I book our room at Mt. Sky, or do you want to?” Her eyes are trained on your face as she drapes both swole arms across the back of the couch. 
You do nothing to hide the surprise on your face. With crisp frosty air, a winter wonderland of snow, and more unplanned pregnancies and sexual noise complaints than any of the campus’s frat parties, Mt. Sky was the unofficial University of Piltover ski trip of the year. Athletes, hookups of athletes, curious freshmen, and anyone who concerned themselves with campus drama banded together for a few days of thrillingly-messy paradise. 
“You wanna share a room?” you ask with raised brows, because ‘wait, we’re going?’ seems out of the question.
The pinkette’s lips curl into a smile, one that flashes the white of her teeth as blue orbs flicker down and up your frame once.
“Yeah, I do.” 
The short silence that follows is smothering, and you swear the room just got a hundred degrees hotter—because there’s the same tease you remember fantasizing over as your pink glitter pen graced the paper of her letter. 
“It’d be weird if we didn’t,” she explains. “Wouldn’t just be Cait questioning us, it’d be everybody,” she tilts her head, and you’re snapped back to the reality of your situation. Fake. 
You’re not looking at the freckled girl as you hum with a nod. 
That has the athlete’s suave persona faltering. A rough hand snakes up to gingerly move a piece of hair from your face. She’s barely touching you, as though you’re more fragile than glass in her grasp. 
“We don’t have to, if you wanna room with Mel that badly–” 
“–No, no I think we should,” you reassure with a smile, because you do want to, more than you probably should, but your brain’s having a very hard time deciphering fantasy from reality. 
It’s her turn to hum, and that tender hand doesn’t leave your face, it only stills as you turn your head completely towards her. 
“You don’t have to do that when we’re in private,” you refer to her wandering hands with a gentle tone. Vi’s eyes soften into something raw and real as she lulls out a response.
“Doesn’t hurt to get comfortable with each other. Right, sunshine?”
Wrong. 
Because it could hurt. It could wound the both of you and cause an ache like never before. Because—admittedly—you don’t know what you’re feeling right now. But more importantly, you don’t know what Violet’s feeling. You had her all figured out at seventeen, but now, you’re unsure of how gentle or reckless she’d be with your heart.
And still, against all the skepticism your brain concocts, you agree. 
“Right.” 
[REDACTED]: Of course I’m sure. Just do what I ask and we’ll both get what we want.
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“Late again?” Finn coos, a teasing expression on the raven’s face. 
“Another run in with pinkie,” Sevika smirks, almost seeming proud. 
The man shakes his head with a smile before placing a handful of mail on the counter in front of the pair. “You mind?”
A groan falls from Sevika’s lips as her gaze flickers between him and the letters. “But I have—”
“Please?” the man asks, already inching away from the space. “I just have to deal with something.”
Before she can argue further, Finn thanks her and rushes off towards the rink. The woman’s left muttering swears and rolling her eyes as she rummages through the envelopes filling her space. 
To: Polar Peaks, To: Polar Peaks, To: Sky Young, To: Pola—
She blinks once and her firm hands come to a pause before her fingers are backtracking to a chestnut brown envelope, covered in hearts and kiss marks. 
Sevika’s huffing out a laugh of disbelief. Her eyes trail over every inch of the sickeningly sweet decor. The recipient address is the ice rink, just like the rest of the pile, and the woman’s intrigue only grows as her eyes trail to the top left corner. To the sender. To you. 
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“My favorite energy drink?” Vi throws out.
“Berrybulls, specifically the yellow and amber ones.” you quip with confidence, smiling when Vi nods in content. 
A lightbulb flickers across the pink haired girl’s face, and she stops in her tracks, unintentionally pulling you back. You’re standing still now, and as the frigid air threatens to consume your body, the reminder that your hands are intertwined with one another spreads warmth throughout your core. You let yourself forget that it’s for show, and enjoy it. 
“Vi?” you question, stepping a bit closer. 
“This one’s important,” her tone is more serious, and her eyes meet yours as she takes a deep breath.
“What’s… my coffee order?” 
“Oh my gosh–” a joking scoff falls from your lips, and you’re gently shoving the laughing girl as you pull her to continue walking. The warmth of hand holding can only do so much to combat standing still in the chill of winter air. 
“C’mon sunshine, we’ve learned all there is to know. Besides, you really think anyone’s gonna come up and start quizzing us?” 
“No,” you admit as Vi holds you closer with a hand around your waist while more pedestrians enter and exit the sidewalks. “But I think it’s good to know just in case. Besides, I like learning about you.” 
“Oh yeah?” she coos. You hear a phone buzz once. 
“Yeah,” you let out with a giggle. Another buzz, and you’re reaching into your back pocket and tapping on the screen to reveal… nothing. 
kiramman: You have until the end of the trip. kiramman: If you don’t tell her, I will.
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Is it possible to feel complete peace and soul-shredding anxiety simultaneously? 
On one hand, you’re having the most fun you’ve had in a long time. The drive to the resort with Mel—and her newfound friend Elora— was filled with guttural laughter. The three of you screamed songs at such a volume you’re surprised the windows didn’t burst. 
When you arrive, you’re trapped by the strong arms of Abby who’s lifting you into the air with her hug. Vi has to be the one to mutter “That’s enough, Abs..”, earning a laugh from the surrounding teammates, who are quick to tug you and your friends into conversation. 
There’s arms around your waist and a bulky body encasing yours while you sit around a fireplace, quiet giggles to each other when you’re bored of the group conversation, and a sweet goodbye kiss to your forehead when Vi and her peers leave to ski. The day progresses perfectly. 
On the other hand, you can feel as Caitlyn’s eyes follow you. A predator stalking its prey. And even though you’re not afraid of the girl, you wonder what it’s going to take for her to throw in the towel. 
“Was the sex that good?” Mel’s golden eyes are both teasing and genuinely questioning you. 
“You’re unbelievable,” you throw back with a laugh. 
“I’m serious, why is she so persistent? Does your tongue have a built in vibrator?—”
“Mel!” 
She’s giggling with you now, face falling into the plush of the king sized bed you’re both sprawled out on. 
“By the way, watch out. Your girlfriend’s biggest fan decided to show up this year,” she flips over onto her back, head tilted to look at you with a pitying–but still undeniably smug–expression.
“Sevika?” you whine and she nods. “She never comes to Mt. Sky. She’s just... anti-fun.” 
Mel hums. “A refined Kiramman has turned into a borderline stalker, Sevika Grove is coming on ski trips, what’s next? Aliens?”
“Surprised the aliens weren't first.” 
Your giggles are cut short as Elora knocks at your already open door, and Mel’s swiftly coming to a stand. 
“Talk to you later?” she offers, and you smile with a nod. 
The tranquility of an empty room only lasts so long, because within seconds, Vi is bursting into the space and hastily shutting the door. You hear the click of the lock and jolt up with confusion written across your face. 
“Vi? What’s—” 
“Cait’s on her way up here,” she speaks with haste.
“I could talk to her, if you want. Just say the word,” Vi offers, and there’s no time to overanalyze the tightness in your chest at the idea of the pinkette protecting you. 
Thousands of possibilities fly throughout your racing brain. Talking went in her ear and out the other (or, rather, around her head entirely), and going radio silent only amplified her stubbornness. The way you see it, the only thing left to do is play Caitlyn’s petty game, to make it clear that the two of you were done. 
Your brain is completely heated and fuzzy at the idea, but you have no time to waste as you hop off of the bed and over to the butch. 
“We’re gonna have sex,” you state. 
Vi’s completely stopped working. That’s it—she’s died. She’s died and gone to heaven. That’s the only plausible explanation for—
“Fake! Fake sex, I mean.”
Well that makes more sense. 
“Fake–what? You’ve gotta explain a little better than that,” she’s trying to suppress the color from showing in her cheeks, and a hand comes up to run through her hair. 
“Just—” you stammer, moving the girl by the arm so that you’re both a few feet away from the door, leaned up against the wall with Vi hovering over you. Your hand stays on her arm, which is gently placed on the side of your waist. The room’s air grows thicker by the second, and tension oozes from every movement made. 
“This doesn't feel very fake, sweetheart.” Her voice is lower, more sultry, and it sends a shiver straight up your spine. 
“We’re gonna…” gonna faint. The sound of footsteps power walking down the hallway throws your brain back into action. “Just follow my lead,” you breathe.
The athlete’s in a state of utter confusion. She’s squinting harder than ever as you bite your lip, seemingly in thought, before you send a wave of pure shock throughout her core. 
You moan. 
Not a whine, not a whimper, not even a wince, a raw moan that compels something in her to twitch. 
“Violet,” you’re singing, eyes closed, and your head thrown to the side. Out of embarrassment or getting into character, she’s not sure. She’s not sure of anything, quite frankly, because how on earth is she expected to think when you’re squealing her name like she owns you?
“Oh yes—please please,” you coo. As if someone flipped a switch, you’re opening your eyes to look up at the athlete. 
“Say something,” you snap in a whisper. 
There’s no wasted time, because Violet’s thoughts spill at your approval. 
“So fuckin’ pretty. Who knew your moans sounded so good, baby?” 
You’re about to lose it. All sense of good judgment—or what’s left—is flying out of the window and being replaced by the dirty haze of your mind. You can’t help the way your hand is gently trailing up Vi’s arm and sliding down to rest against her abs. You don’t miss the way her grip around you tightens.  
You expect her to be done, but Vi’s kept these thoughts tucked away for way too long. If they’d be of any service to you, she might as well let them out. 
“Bet she couldn’t fuck you like this, huh? No angel, she couldn’t.”  
A symphony of grunts, whimpers, and moans of passion decorate not only the room, but the ears of Caitlyn. Your navy haired ex lingers outside the door, seeing nothing but blood red as she listens to the noises you used to make for her. The noises Vi never made for her. The newfound passion that the pinkette pulled out of you, one that Cait never could. 
With clenched, clammy fists and gritted teeth, Caitlyn reluctantly drags herself away from the door and down the hallway. 
Like coming down from a high, shallow breaths fill yours and Vi’s ears before all sounds subside. Neither of you dare to move as the clack of Caitlyn’s feet storm down the hall and out of earshot. Colorful orbs stare down at the floor or up at the white ceiling, because they’re suddenly oh so intriguing. 
And maybe, just maybe, this is the moment you realize not everything is as imaginary as you thought. 
Meanwhile, Vi’s imagining what the hell she’d say in this situation if her brain were computing. Because the sight of you throwing your head back in fake pleasure and spilling noises straight from your core was entirely soul-shifting. 
And it’s different, to be seeing you this close. Granted, she’s been closer. Graced the skin of your forehead or cheeks with her soft and scar-decorated lips more than once. But here, hovering over your softened body, her hand connecting to your waist with the gentlest of touches, and her eyes firmly memorizing every angle of your face, it’s different. Everything’s softer, and Violet’s able to relish in your raw loving aura, rather than put on a performance for the skeptical eyes of others. 
And then you laugh. 
You laugh, and laugh, and laugh. So hard that you don’t notice the way Vi smiles, one that doesn’t quite meet her eyes.
And definitely, oh definitely, this is the moment she realizes she’s undeniably smitten. 
“Think we’ll get the first noise complaint?” You joke while coming down from your fit of laughter. 
That pulls a laugh from Vi’s throat, one that has her leaning forward with a deep breath after it bubbles out. The soft of her forehead tenderly meets yours, and the room’s heart rate rises exponentially, but neither of you squirm out of your positions. Because this is exactly where you want to be.
You can’t see it as your eyelids flutter shut, but Vi’s left hand wraps around your waist to meet her right, cradling you in a way that’s so natural, so sweet, so real. A cradle that protects and shields you from forces you can’t handle alone. A shelter for disasters from tsunamis to the cold chill of winter. From pretending to be your girlfriend to replacing your wet party clothes, all the way back to being your first standing ovation. Vi is your refuge. 
“Thank you,” you whisper, worried you’ll crack the faultless atmosphere. “Can’t believe you’re putting up with this– with me.” 
Her grip lightly tightens. “I’d do it over and over again.” 
She would, and she will, if you let her. 
You feel the truth in her words, and your eyes flutter open to pull back, just enough to look into those perfect blue specks. 
The pair of you stay there for what feels like forever, examining the watercolor paintings that you call your eyes. And–although she could stare at you for the rest of her life–Vi physically can’t wait any longer. Like magnets, your lips are tugging her forward. Centimeter by centimeter. Inch by inch. Heads tilting, eyes half lidded, and breaths hitching. Vi can practically taste the plush of your feature when—
“Yo! You guys in there?”
Abby’s fist thumps on the door three times. And as fast as you connected, you’re drifting apart.
you don’t care whether she knows or not. you just want her crawling back to you. not happening.  kiramman: I’ll tell her.
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“Would you rather go a month without sex, or a month without candy?” 
“What kind of stupid ass question is that?” Vi throws at Abby, who’s snobbishly leaning back in the heated water as if she’d given the ultimatum of the century. 
Her newest middle school party game is would you rather, and while Vi couldn’t care less about the event itself, she’s secretly over the moon at the effort her teammates and close friends are making to connect with you. 
“A month without candy,” you cooly state as you look down at the water. Making the relationship more believable. That’s all you were doing.
That enables a chain of raised eyebrows and looks to Vi, whereas others let out sly whistles and snickers, throwing out little quips like “you hear that, superstar?”. 
“Alright, alright,” she’s calming them with a tug at the corners of her lips and a roll of her eyes. You only snicker to yourself at the odds, as if you didn’t have sex— fake sex with the girl minutes prior.
Leaning closer against Vi’s skin, plush bodies warming each other in the bubbly heat of the hot tub, you’re almost completely relaxed. The outdoors is the perfect flaky winter wonderland you expected, cabins further out from the resort look like the coziest of all shelters, and the milky mountains in the distance tie the atmosphere together. 
And while you’re focused on the landscape, Violet’s eyes are completely trained on you. 
She examines the way you sit so properly in her lap, the way your legs squirmed as she slid her hands away from your thigh and around the small of your waist (so others could see your contact.. of course), how you get so comical and chattery once you’re finally comfortable in a group, and the angelic resting look on your face when you’re finally at ease. 
And neither of you know it, but when the conversation is one that allows you to listen instead of talk, you’re both daydreaming about the endless possibilities of this night. The potential of this moment, as well as that of the countless others you’ve had since this entire ordeal began. 
Neither of you know it, but you’re both considering the idea that life could be like this all the time. The two of you snuggled up, surrounded by those cherished, laughing until you just can’t breathe. 
A chin comes to rest gently on your right shoulder, and Vi’s breath sends a shiver throughout your body faster than the crisp winter air ever could. 
“Do you always sit with your legs crossed in pools?” she teases, voice low, like she’s sharing a secret with you. Only you. 
“No,” you simply hum. Your tongue is prodding the inside of your cheek in thought, and you go through with the lightbulb in your head. 
“It’s a great reminder of how dangerously close your hands are to my bikini though, isn’t it?” 
The pads of her fingers that were once tracing meaningless patterns on your waist come to a stop, and you can hear the smirk in Vi’s voice. 
“You want me to move them?” she breathes.
Your response is almost automatic.
“No.” 
The conversation of what would’ve happened if Abby hadn’t knocked on your door was yet to come, but the newfound tension and playfulness that spilled from both of your lips was undeniable. 
Vi grins at your confidence, but underneath the suave persona, she knows you’ll be the death of her. 
“Bold girl,” she hums.
You’re so trapped in your playful banter that you don’t notice the way the rest of your peers are leaving, running off towards a different attraction of the resort, only god knows what. 
“You were pretty convincing up there,” your sly lips are curivng up at the corners. “You have fake sex often?”
“Nothing fake about my sex.” 
You’re snickering at her confidence, relishing in the way her arm hardens around you as she chuckles. 
“Don’t get cocky. I’m sure someone’s had to fake-orgasm with you once.” Maybe the lying’s getting to you, because you know in your heart of hearts that’s the furthest thing from the truth. 
“You really believe that?” she speaks in a lower tone, head snaking around to make eye contact with you. 
Like a clock rewinding, you’re seventeen again. 
Not physically, nor mentally, but your full heart is pounding the same rhythm as when you first fell for the tough, pink haired beauty in your writing class. Your breaths are shallow, gazes locked, and the warmth between you is incomparable to any sensation you’ve ever experienced prior. 
“Thought so,” she brazenly states after your lack of words, and you’re smiling in thought before gently splashing water towards the smug girl, Melting her charming essence that has you by the throat. 
Vi gasps through a laugh. Soon, she’s threatening to splash you back while you laugh and squeal through your begs for mercy. 
And although your vision isn’t flawless through the squinted happiness of your eyes, you can recognize that swinging navy blue hair approaching you.
Fuck. 
“She doesn’t give up,” you think out loud, and Vi doesn’t need to waste energy on turning her head to register who you’re talking about. 
You don’t see it through your irritated gaze, but Vi feels a jolt of worry crawl up her spine. While you worried about Cait smothering you for the rest of eternity, Vi’s skin shivers at the idea of her place in your heart being twisted from one of love and trust to hatred.
She wants to tell you, wants you to make the conscious decision to love her despite any past affairs.
But she sure as hell wasn’t going to do it now, while you’re warming up on her water-covered body. And she sure as hell couldn’t let Caitlyn poison your mind with it.
So there she sits, staring into your soul with those loyal eyes that silently swear they’d do anything for you. And, understandably, Vi makes all sense of good judgement Melt from your brain until it’s a useless pile of mush. 
So when Cait nears, practically striding her way to your uneasy soul, you make a decision. 
You kiss Violet. 
It’s a quick shift in atmosphere. One moment, your heart is beating out of fear, and the next it’s being thrashed around your chest by the ascended butterflies from your stomach. You turn in her lap to have easier access to her mouth, and the connection of your plush mouths is anything but fragile. It’s messy, hungry, starved even. Your lips dance in unison, and Vi’s sculpted arm wraps around you and gently holds the back of your neck. The way she’s handling you coupled with the burning water is giving your body a fever. 
You don’t know when Caitlyn sees you, how long she glares at your wet mouths and pressed bodies in pure anger, or how long it takes for her to storm off in defeat, because every inch of your mind is focused on the pinkette holding you as if you’re all she has. 
And it’s this moment that you finally accept the truth that’s kept itself hidden in your gut, you want her. And those sparkly powder-blue eyes are telling you that she wants—needs you too. 
But when you slide your hand down to hers and shyly move her calloused fingers to what little fabric’s covering your chest, she’s pulling back. There’s resistance in the movement, but she forces herself to disconnect from your wanting lips nonetheless. 
“Can’t,” she whispers, breathless.
You freeze, big dazed eyes blinking in confusion and embarrassment. ”But..” is all you can muster before Vi opens her mouth.
“Angel–it’s not that I don’t want this, I’m just—” 
The athlete’s rubbing her temples. Her mind, body, and heart must be at war inside of her, because each is telling her a different path to take, and she looks so conflicted as she speaks. 
“You don’t want this,” she finally decides.
“What?” is all you manage to choke out. 
“You don’t want this.” she repeats, less convinced than the first time it left her lips. 
You can only scoff, attempting to hide the bullet to your heart and ego. 
“You don’t know what I want,” you counter, and the ache in your voice sends a crack through Vi’s heart. “Why are you denying this?” 
Because this is fake, a scheme to get your ex girlfriend off your back. Because I haven’t been completely honest with you, and for that I don’t deserve a sweet love like this. Not yet. 
But instead of that, or even coming clean to you altogether, Vi sighs. And for the first time, her eyes are disloyal, looking anywhere but yours. 
You’re huffing, shoving stiff arms off of you. You pull yourself from the hot tub into the freezing air of the night, a replica of your once blazing heart turning ice cold. 
“Whatever, Violet.” you spit out, and just like that, you’re gone. 
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The debate over soul-shredding anxiety and complete peace has come to a halt, because the ache of a pummeled ego and a confused heart that’s afraid to beat outweighs both. 
You didn’t sleep in yours and Vi’s shared room that night. Instead, you grabbed a pillow and stormed over to Mel and Elora’s, who were happy to have you. Making up a lie about dying for a girls’ night, you gossiped and giggled, arguably with a stronger poker face than the Kirammans, before a yawn finally slipped from Mel’s mouth and exhaustion spread throughout the air. 
At last, in the silence of night, salt ridden tears noiselessly slide down the bridge of your nose and pile onto the cool fluff of your pillow. 
As if your lack of adequate sleep and racing mind didn’t have you at your wits end, the next day was twice as cruel on you. Ignoring one athlete was a walk in the park, but avoiding two, while trying not to raise suspicion, is just as hard as it sounds. 
Caitlyn’s in the hallway, so you rush to your room. Violet’s in the room, so you venture off to the spa with Mel and Elora. Caitlyn’s entering the spa right before you finish up, so you’re suggesting a lap of skiing to the girls, but Vi’s exiting the room in her snow gear when you near the door. 
You just couldn’t win. 
So when you hear the soft voice coming from the doorway, you don’t even bother to lift your body from the plush of your blanket. 
“Don’t go,” Vi pleads, gently shutting the wooden door and ridding herself of her puffy jacket. 
The pinkette’s still, waiting for you to move, to do or say something—anything, but you do nothing of the sort. When she concludes it’s safe she takes small, soft steps towards the edge of your bed and you feel the mattress dip under pure muscle. 
With still hands and a timid heart, Vi speaks the first words into the air. 
“Well, we broke our little rule set.”
Her playful smile is uneasy, one made when she examines your weary face too hard. And when she notices the lack of expression on your face, it flattens out into worried brows and soft lips. 
“I’m sorry,” slips from her lips, prompting you to turn your head towards the pinkette. 
“Stop. You don’t have to apologize for your feelings… or lack thereof,” you whisper the last part as if it’s shameful. 
With a sigh, you hoist yourself up to sit straight and lean against the decorative headboard. With fidgeting hands laid in your lap and eyes that travel anywhere but the anxious girl before you, you speak.
“I just thought that there was— something,” you start. “And.. and maybe it’s stupid, but I thought that maybe all of this means something. Maybe my letters getting out wasn’t the worst thing, because maybe things between us could be exactly how I wanted when I was writing them.” 
Vi feels terrible for giving you emotional whiplash, but she can’t stand to see you beating yourself up over something you want— something the both of you crave: eachother. 
Tender fingers snake their way up to your face and hook on your chin, tilting your head towards her alluring orbs. 
“You really believe that?” she asks, eyes squinted.
“Believe.. what?” 
“That I don’t feel things for you?” she asks like the answer is the most obvious thing in the world.
“I couldn’t tell you all the things you do to me. All the ways you make me feel,” she slides the hand that’s cupping your face to gently tap the side of your pretty little head. 
“Here, and.. here,” her finger grazes your skin as it skims down to tap once against your encaptured heart. “And….”
She cuts the sentence short, dropping her hand down to intertwine with one of yours, because you’re supposed to be having a serious conversation, so she needs to focus. 
“You do terribly good things to me, sweetheart.” 
“Then why did you push me away?” you whisper to combat the rapid speed of your heart as adrenaline rushes through your veins from Vi’s simple and sensual touches. 
She contemplates it, ripping the bandage off and telling you the truth, she really does. Would it be that big of a deal? Would you take it with ease and laugh at her anxiety, caressing her like she dreams and letting her finally place a guilt-free kiss upon your soft lips? Or would you crumble at the news, and let the trust you’ve built up shatter with it? 
“I didn’t know whether it was real or not,” she decides: a lie. “I know that the way my heart races for you is real, the realest thing there is. But I know it’s easy to get caught up in a fake high, and when you were kissing me I just—” she sighs at the ramble, but the gentle squeeze you give her hand guides her through it. 
“I just wanted to let you decide if this is really what you want. Not because of Cait or anyone else. Just you.”
She’ll tell you. Eventually. She silently swears it to herself. 
But right now, Vi’s looking at you the same way she did that day, and it’s suffocating. 
Big pretty eyes examine every inch of you with that awestruck gaze, a child watching a shooting star pass by. Except this time, she wouldn’t let you leave. 
This time, you, that creative girl with clammy palms and shy eyes, watching her bubblegum haired love give her a standing ovation— that shooting star would come crashing down and right into the warm arms in which she belongs. 
“The love I have for you.. it never went away, it just transformed,” you confess.
Violet’s once worried expression morphs. She’s still soft, still trapped in the beautiful moment, but there’s a newfound confidence behind her demeanor. 
“The love I have for you has stayed the same. Ever since that stupid writing class—” you giggle at her words, and she does the same, “I think I’ve loved you for years. It’s left such an ache in my heart, baby.” 
There’s a glitch somewhere in your brain, because the athlete’s words mixed with your newest nickname is causing a system overload. 
You’re suddenly very aware of the amber musk filling your nostrils, and Vi’s proximity has you squirming, soft hand gently squeezing at hers which carresses you so gingerly. You’re trapped between the headboard and her oh-so-close body, and it’d be a lie to say any part of you is complaining. 
“I can.. I can make that ache go away,” you whisper, shy head tilting as you wait for her approval. 
The suave, player-like girl is back in full force. With a notorious smirk in place, she’s leaning closer, tilting her head opposite of yours and lining up her plush lips with yours. 
“Yeah, you can.” 
That’s all it takes for your lips to come crashing together at full force. It’s messy, loving, and infuriatingly sexy all at once, and you don’t have any brain power left to think about it. All of your energy, every bit of your soul is being put into showing this girl how you really feel. 
The atmosphere feels heavier and lighter simultaneously in the best way possible. Vi’s kissing you like you’re the air she needs to breathe, and drinking you in like your mouth is water and the torturous years leading up to this have taken place in the desert. 
For the first time, the pair of you silently agree that this is real. Real touches, real passion, real tongues gliding against one another, and real desire for more. 
You hum into Vi’s mouth as she ravishes you, and your hands find their way to tangle in her fluffy scalp as she effortlessly switches places with you and lifts you into her lap while she relaxes back against the headboard. You can’t help but chuckle as her hands move to cup the fat of your ass, causing her to grin through kisses until you finally stop, because your lips are practically peppering her teeth. 
“What’s so funny?” you ask through a snicker. Vi shakes her head, sneaking kisses down your jaw and the stretch of your neck. 
“Nothin’, I just don’t want this to end,” she confesses, ending with a tender kiss to your collarbone. 
An uncontrollable smile fights its way onto your face. 
“Well I’m not going anywhere,” you assure.
She nods, wrapping strong arms around your torso to pull your body as close to hers as possible. 
“Neither am I, sunshine.” 
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Violet’s learned three new things since you fell asleep in her arms. 
One, you’re a cuddler. Every inch of you has touched, skimmed, or wrapped around the butch since you laid upon the soft matter of the bed. Her favorite position is when you curl yourself up against her chest and slide a leg inbetween hers to let them intertwine.
Two, every inch of you still smells like that perfect mixture of cotton candy and strawberry she remembers from years ago. 
And three, she’s completely whipped for you. For your brain, your voice, the giggles you make between kisses, the way you give your all to her, and don’t get her started on your body. She’s got it bad. 
So, the struggle she faced when she had to snake out of your grasp was ultimately the hardest thing she’s done in her entire life. 
The love-hazed girl didn’t bother to do anything but slip on some shoes and run a hand through her hair, because within minutes she’d be right back next to you where she belongs. 
At least, that was the plan. 
She doesn’t know why the loud cacophony of cackles catches her attention, because she knows how obnoxious her teammates can be, but it does. She lazily turns her head once, letting it lull back before the alarm of confusion goes off in her brain, and she’s turning towards the sound once again. 
Sevika, a few members of the basketball team, and some others she doesn’t recognize, all sit against the couches and chairs in the lounging area. But there’s no relaxation in the way they rest against the furniture. Each is laced with anticipation, and their eyes all lay on the buff brownskin girl who’s smirks as if she’s discovered a pot of gold. 
“Your voice of honey soothes my soul, and the picture of delicate curls falling to frame your face as you lift me onto my feet will stay forever plastered in my mind,” the woman spits.
The words are so sensual, so raw, so genuine, filled with nothing but passion, but Sevika’s interpretation does it no justice. 
And Violet knows exactly who wrote those words of desire. 
Her feet move quicker than she’s ever felt the need to before. 
When she nears the group, a face of pure determination, she spots it. A brown envelope, decorated with a bow and pretty hearts accompanied by a single kiss mark. So similar to the one you made for Vi all those years ago. 
“There’s the woman of the hour,” Sevika taunts loudly, leaning back in her seat. Her fingers tap the letter in her hands against her own thigh, a reminder that your past words of hope and love still lie with her. “Or, would you be the second? No… no, that’d be this uh, Skye, huh?” 
Sevika’s smile is poisonous, infecting Violet with a rage she’s never experienced before. 
“What are you doing with that?” Vi’s practically seething, eyes trained on the brown paper between Sevika’s fingers.
“Found it on the ground, guess it slipped away from your girl before she could mail it off to her secret lover,” she lies, throwing her hands up in faux innocence. 
“I swear to God— fucking give it to me, and I’ll forget this happened.”
“And you’ll forget that she’s dreaming of someone else’s mouth?” The burly woman scoffs, coming to a stand directly infront of Violet. The space between them is thinning, disintegrated by rageful tension.
“Seriously, I don’t see why you’re going through all this trouble for a whore, pinkie.” 
Faster than anyone in the room can register, Vi’s fist comes up to smash into Sevika’s jaw. The slam is loud, echoing throughout the room until it creates a stunned silence.
Sevika’s hand comes up to hold her jaw, craning it as the metallic taste of blood sets itself on her tongue. 
Within seconds, she’s lunging right at Vi. Their fists look like skin colored blobs in the air from how fast they land punches to one another’s guts. They’re thrashing around in anger, threatening the space they reside in, before four onlookers break them apart.
Some whoop and holler, others laugh and speculate exactly who ‘won’, but neither of the girls care. Through their heavy panting and darkened gazes, they’re only focused on one thing: the brown envelope that now lies between Vi’s fingers. 
With a cocky, bruised grin and the satisfying drug of adrenaline, Violet turns on her heels and stumbles out of sight. 
[REDACTED]: listen, toots. i have a better plan.  … [REDACTED]: I’m listening. 
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With the way neither of you dare to move, any third party would think the two of you are paralyzed; and you are, by love.
It’s been five minutes since you’ve woken up, and Vi’s sweet gaze keeps you in a warm, butterfly inducing trance. Neither of you move from your position in the bed, savouring deep synced breaths, snuggling under the blankets, and wrapping around one another. You’re sticking together like your feelings are superglue. 
Finally, one of the pinkette’s hands rubs at the small of your back, drawing sweet nothings on your dimples and the line that trails up your perfect torso. 
“I haven’t slept that long in ages,” you hum, making Violet pull you just a bit closer. 
“Maybe you should sleep with me every night,” she concludes, sending you a smile that has you giggling with a little ‘oh sure’. 
She sees your sweet bubble of happiness wobble when your eyes squint at the sight of her chin, now decorated with a blossomed bruise. A soft hand comes up to graze the purple mark as you ask, “When did that happen?” 
As fast as the pinkette opens her mouth to speak, it shuts. Because she definitely can’t tell you that Sevika’s tried to embarrass you by reading one of your old love letters to a group of your classmates. Why has she become more of a pain now than ever? Vi hasn’t figured that out yet. But she has come to one conclusion: worrying you wouldn’t do any good. What you didn’t have to know, you wouldn’t. 
She quickly takes your wandering hand in hers, intertwining fingers and giving them a little squeeze. 
“I’m fine, sunshine. Got up all hazy last night to turn the light off since we forgot. Completely ran into the wall, that’s all.” Although Vi isn’t a klutz, it seems like a perfectly plausible story, so you don’t push. 
You only chuckle, shaking your head. “Be more careful. I have to get you home in one piece.” 
A soft smile spreads across her face, and she’s kissing your knuckles while responding. “Of course, angel.” 
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While you scolded Vi about her bruises, you were set up to get some of your own. 
“Vi I’m not sure if this is a great idea,” you worry, looking down at the girl who gets on her knees to lace up your skates. 
The freezing temperature kissed your nose a subtle hint of red, but the beautiful sunlight gently coating the flurry white wonderland that surrounded the city made up for it. All around you, classmates and city locals of all ages glide around the ice rink with glee. Sounds of love, joy, and the squeals or laughter of tripping inexperienced-skaters fill your ears. 
“Why not?” she asks, eyes flickering up to yours for just a second before moving on to the other foot. The picture of her is just all too much, and you have to look away to regather your thoughts. 
“I know that you’re a hockey player so this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone is good at ice skating,” she grins, rolling her eyes at your sarcasm. “I’m just gonna fall on my ass a bunch,” you whine.
“And I’ll be right there to pick you back up.” Vi’s confidence melts away your worries. Finally, as she finishes with your skates, you playfully roll your eyes and come to a stand (with the help of her strong hands). 
The thinning space between you two and your starry eyes which look up at Vi keep her in a trance as her arms mindlessly wrap around your waist, hands dangerously close to your ass. 
“Promise not to let me go?” you whisper through a grin.
“Shit. I wouldn’t dream of it.” 
And she doesn’t. Through your first steps and little slips on the ice, Vi stands right beside you, holding your hand with tender care. 
“This is pretty romantic, right?” she hums in your ear as you attempt to push your feet against the ice like she taught you. 
“As long as I don’t completely eat it.” you warn, eyes trained to the ice.
She snickers.
“Well, you look sexy when you’re focused, I’ll give you that.”
Butterflies erupt throughout your stomach, and a warmth is travelling up your body as you look at Violet with a faux sternness. 
“Quiet. You’re distracting me,” you tease.
Vi’s tongue pokes at the inside of her cheek in thought before she’s letting go of your hand and coming to stand right infront of you. Sculpted arms snake around your waist, and the lack of space between you two as Vi stares with a hungry gaze is making your body feel weak. 
“I’m distracting you, sweetheart?” 
You quietly suck in a breath of icy cold air, searching for a response in her pretty powder-blue eyes before she snickers once more, stepping back. At last, you feel like you can breathe.
She takes you around the ice, helping you reach a good foundation to feel comfortable skating on your own, and the ‘good job, baby’ she praises you with sends a sweet sensation throughout your body. As you’re gliding away from her, giggling in surprise as she pretends to chase you with her intimidating hockey stance, a group of her teammates call for her attention.
She pauses, breath kissing your ear as she lets go of your body. “I’ll just be a second, yeah?” 
You nod, sending her off to the group with a smile. 
And for a moment, everything’s perfect. Until it isn’t. 
The call of your name from her mouth freezes your body faster than the chill of the ice ever could. Effortlessly, Caitlyn’s gliding up to you with a calculated and calm expression. She knows you can’t get far in those skates. 
First, you’re praying that Vi will look over at you and race back just in time to save you. Then, anger’s bubbling in the pit of your stomach, and you whip around to make eye contact with the navy-haired girl. Finally—
“What, Caitlyn?” you snap without hesitation. 
The girl’s expression refuses to waver, and toned arms are crossing with the notorious sly smirk of a Kiramman. “Never thought I’d see you with blades on your feet.” 
“Never thought I’d see you begging for attention, but here we are,” you quip, placing your hands on your hips, completely distracted from the ice below you. 
Her arms uncross with an amused hum, and for a moment you think that maybe she’s getting off on the negative energy you throw her way. But then she begins to push her skates against the ice, slowly circling you. 
“I just thought I’d check in on you, sweetheart. You’ve forgotten to answer my calls and texts–”
“You know damn well I haven’t forgotten, Cait—”
“—And I wanted to applaud you in person for being so understanding about what happened with Violet and I.”
She comes to a stop, and so does your heart. The little red organ skips a beat before continuing, pace matching your weariness. 
“What are you talking about?” you question, brows furrowed so innocently that Caitlyn has to stop herself from laughing.
“She hasn’t told you?” The bluenette makes no attempt to act shocked. Your eyes lock, and her skates scrape against the ice until she’s hovering right over you. 
“Weren’t you wondering where she slept after you left her at the jacuzzi?” The visible air that blows from her mouth is just as harsh as her words, stabbing your heart with its icicles.  
“What are you..” you mutter, but the words die in your throat.
“Vi and I had a… rekindling.” Her head tilts with a cocky smile. “It was bound to happen I suppose. Once a hookup, always a—”
“I don’t believe you.” Your stern words contradict the uncertainty tainting your voice. 
Caitlyn doesn’t speak. She simply reaches into her back pocket, pulls out her phone, and scrolls to open her messages with Vi, gently placing the device into your quivering fingers.
Really? My ex girlfriend? You’re a class act. i’ll love her better than you ever could, caitlyn Is this to get back at me? You’re the one who ended our little affair. stop texting my number. Come to think of it, I never told her about us.  Does she even know?  fucking drop it cait You have until the end of the trip.  If you don’t tell her, I will. you don’t care whether she knows or not. you just want her crawling back to you. not happening.  I’ll tell her.
“You see it now? How easy it was for her to lie to you? She doesn’t love you, not like I do.” 
“Angel?” Vi’s voice calls out. The once sweet melody to your ears now erupts a symphony of confusion and anger inside of you. Did she plan out those nicknames?
Before you know it, Vi’s coming up behind you and placing an arm around your waist. Instead of feeling comfort, you’re suffocated. How can she fake it so easily?
“Can I help you?” the pink haired girl spits to the Kiramman with a voice of pure disgust. How could you have known?
“I was just leaving,” Caitlyn hums. With the fulfilling sight of your aghast eyes and Violet’s hidden panic, she skates off. 
The two of you are uncomfortably quiet for a moment. Your body’s still, save for the racing thoughts in your mind, but when Vi’s hand on you tightens you’re breaking from her grasp.
And then she sees it.
The broken gaze in your sorrowful eyes, the one look she desperately wanted to avoid. Her worst nightmare has become her reality. 
And you see it.
The way her gaze goes from calm and collected to a deer in headlights. It’s like a switch was flipped in her brain, and Violet’s mask comes off as she speaks. 
“I can explain—”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Your heartbroken voice drowns her out. 
“You don’t understand,” she pleas, but you’re pushing your weight into one foot in an attempt to turn yourself around on the ice.
“I understand perfectly fine you backstabbing–”
Your knees come slamming into the icy ground with a thud, and the newly proclaimed backstabber is at your side, attempting to lift you onto your feet. You shove her off with a huff, using one knee to come to a wobbly stand. 
“Just..” you start, ignoring the tears of frustration that bubble in the corners of your eyes, accompanied by the prickly curse in your throat. “Just stay away from me, Vi.” 
And you’re gone.
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Vi obeys your wishes and leaves you alone like you asked.
But only for the next two hours, while she figures out what the hell she’s going to say to make up for the pain she’s caused you. Because she did hook up with Cait, but the last time was was months ago, before either of them had anything with you. Because she knows Cait did something to fuck with your head, and now her baby’s fretting and scared to trust anyone. Because she’s in love with you and only you, and she’s never going to forgive herself if she doesn’t get you back. 
So when she slips into your shared room and finds you packing your things, she braces herself for the yelling and cussing she expects to come.
But, it never happens. Instead, you look at her with a woeful expression, and turn back to your open luggage with a scoff. 
“I knew Caitlyn was fucked up, but I never imagined you’d have as many screws loose. You’ll be perfect for each other,” you spit, the words acid to Violet. Manicured hands move at a fast pace, roughly tossing in clothes and skin products like they mean nothing to you. “And I know we’re not actually dating, but to fuck the one person we’re trying to lie to? Then come to me the next day acting like you…” you trail off, discarding the sentence like trash, but she knows what you were trying to say: like you love me. 
Wait, what?
“Hold on, hold on. I haven’t fucked Kiramman.”
“..So you weren’t with her the night I slept in Mel’s room?” you squint.
“Fuck no. It’s been months since we’ve hooked up, angel. Like, before you and her were even a thing–”
“So you did fuck! Jesus, why didn’t you tell me?” you raise your voice in question, whipping around to face the girl with exhausted body language. When Vi’s mouth hangs open with no clue of a better response than ‘I was scared’, you shake your head, coming to conclusions yourself.
“That’s why you did this, right? I should’ve asked more about why you proposed this whole scheme,” you start, walking towards the nightstand. “Make me look like an idiot? Get back at Cait? Get with Cait? What was it?” 
“No– no. I was going to tell you angel, God I swear, I just didn’t know how to tell you without making it hurt. I don’t want anything with Caitlyn, cross my heart, her and I are history. Everything I said about you– everything I felt with you is real.” She’s speaking so tenderly, inching closer to your frame.
And you would’ve turned, would’ve calmed down enough to finish this conversation civilly, maybe believe her. 
But instead, you’re staring at the opened drawer of the bedside table, right at the chesnut brown envelope decorated with hearts. The same one you wrote for Skye all those years ago. 
You’re completely over this.
Violet’s close enough to see everything now. The envelope and letter, the way your face is morphing through thousands of different expressions, and the tears that finally begin to slide down your cheeks as you lift the paper into the air and choke out words.
“Why the hell do you have this? How much did you plan to humiliate me, huh?” you ask through sweet sobs.
Violet sighs, because everything she’s kept from you is hitting her. All of her mistakes are crashing down upon her at once. All she wants is to fix it for you. 
“That’s not– fuck this looks bad.” She’s cursing herself for everything she didn’t tell you, all the chances she had to come clean and never did out of fear. 
“Sevika had it and I took it from her. We fought over it and I hid it here because I didn’t want you to be embarrassed. That’s all. I swear.” 
She watches your glossy eyes flicker to her bruised jaw that you touched so lovingly that morning, to her eyes that beg you to forgive her, and to your bag as you walk towards it.
“Well you don’t have to worry about me anymore, Violet. This– us, whatever we are is done. ” You knuckle away your tears, sniffing and pulling at the handle of your suitcase.
The pinkette takes no action to hide the dread that fills her face, quickly following your motion around the room. 
“So we’re just breaking–” she stops. Her heart is racing at an ungodly speed, and the next words come out as a horrified mumble, “We’re just over? Like that?” 
There’s a pregnant pause, and for the last time, you look back at Vi, voice clear. 
“We were never together, Violet.” 
There’s nothing she can say to rebuttal, or stop you from walking out of that room, because despite both of your desires, it was true. 
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For the next two days, your bed becomes your safe haven. You put your phone on ‘do not disturb’, wrap yourself in the thickest blanket your apartment has, and hide from the rest of the world. It’s only thanks to Mel, who’s worried to death, that you remember to eat every once in a while.
Safe to say, you’re a wreck. 
Three soft knocks on your bedroom door prompt you to roll over, and you’re pulling your head from the covers as the aforementioned beauty enters the room with a plated sandwich in hand. 
“I have something for that headache of yours,” she offers, setting the platter on your bedside table and sitting at the edge of the soft mattress. 
From your blanket-clad vision, you see her lips press together in thought before she finally decides on her carefully sculpted words. 
“I talked to Abby,” she starts. You groan, pulling yourself back under the blankets.
“Listen,” she scolds, and you bite your tongue. Hard. “I talked to Abby and she says Violet slept in her room that night. She was moping about you the entire time.” 
“She didn’t tell me about her and Caitlyn,” you seethe.  
“No, but she said she was going to, right?” She offers, tilting her head. “In the end, does it really change anything about how you two feel towards each other?” 
When you don’t respond, she sighs, patting your blanket and coming to a stand. 
“It’s your decision what you do, but I can tell Violet really cares about you. And I think you feel the same.”
With that, she’s stepping out of the room and gently closing your door with a click.  
Almost immediately, your head pokes out of the blanket, and your gaze travels to your now black lockscreen lighting up.
One message from Caitlyn.
caitlyn: Are you ready to apologize to me? I’ll still take you back. 
You block her number. Something you should’ve done a long time ago. 
Then, you check the three messages from Vi. 
superstar <3: i know you want me to leave you alone, and i’m trying my hardest to please let me talk to you angel whenever you’re ready to hear me out
You can only sigh. 
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“I don’t know how else to get this through to both of you.”
Coach Talis’s sharp tongue scolds the winded athletes. Sweat is dripping down every inch of their skin under their heavy gear. While their teammates ended practice an hour ago, they were here running drills for the ‘stunt’ they pulled back at Mt. Sky. If it weren’t for the exhaustion capturing their bodies, they’d be pummeling each other this very second.
“I’m this close to benching both of you, and you know I don’t want to do that.” Both girls rapidly shake their heads.
“This better be the last time I hear of an incident regarding the both of you, do you understand?” The tanned man snaps, and both athletes are throwing out soft “yes coach”’s before he waves them off to the locker room. 
Throughout her entire shower, Violet’s brain is focused on two things. One, how much she loathes Sevika (fuck her), and two, how much she fucking misses you. 
Throughout her time spent drying herself off, getting redressed, and packing her backpack, she prays for a text, call, something from you. When she hears the buzz of a phone, she’s whipping her head around to face her lockscreen (with her favorite picture of you looking effortlessly beautiful and silly simultaneously). 
It’s not until the second buzz goes off that she realizes it’s not her phone that’s being blown up, but Sevika’s. 
Despite better judgement, she curiously walks over to the device, reaching down to pick it up with careless hands.
And it almost drops from her calloused fingers in shock. 
There’s three notifications from ‘C. Kiramman’.
c. kiramman: That worked better than I thought. You’re not as dumb as you look.  c. kiramman: I think our work together is done. C. Kiramman sent you $300!
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You’re at war with yourself.
Your brain is clawing at you to block Violet, get yourself together, and move on with your life as if she was never a part of it.
Your heart and every inch of hope that fills you is begging for you to pick up your phone and give her a chance to prove that it was all a case of bad timing, misunderstandings, and that you truly mean something to her. Because you want her, you can finally admit it, but you’re deathly afraid of being made a fool of.
You’d skipped classes for the day, pulled yourself from your sheets, showered, and now sit on your black couch with a little sigh, sinking into the fluffy matter. The silence of the apartment is contrasting the swarm of loud thoughts inside your mind, and before it can drive you utterly insane, the doorbell rings. 
“Angel?” That sweet voice calls out.
You rise to your feet embarrassingly fast. Your brain waves a white flag and your heart dances in success. 
When you swing the door open, it takes everything in you to keep yourself from jumping into Violet’s arms. She’s worried out of her mind, but the surprise that you even opened the door is giving her a jolt of hope and encouragement. You take in her presence, musk amber scent, oversized jacket that once protected your arms, and all. 
“I’m so sorry,” spills from her lips, and you scan her expression before stepping to the side. 
“Come in.” 
You and Vi sit on opposite ends of your couch. You’re trying to show off your self control, but she’s just glad you’ll sit next to her at all. 
“I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about my past with Caitlyn. I was scared that you’d hate me, and shit it all just caught up with me before I could grow some balls and rip the bandaid off.” 
You’ve never seen her look so worried, so vulnerable. 
You take one scoot closer. 
“But I promise, I ended things with her a long time ago and that was the last time we ever did anything.”
She’s pulling out her phone, opening the photos app, and setting her phone down face up on the cushions for you to take. You do, picking it up with weary fingers, ones that still when you see the material she’s revealing.
“Caitlyn hired Sevika to fuck with us. That time at the party, all those times she got me in shit at practice, taking your letter, even giving Caitlyn the idea of lying that I did something with her. They’ve been trying to get inbetween us for a long time.” 
Your mouth is slightly agape as you scroll through monetary payments and texts from your ex. Ones about her getting you back (fuck that), and others about Sevika getting the spotlight once Vi’s burnt out and screwing up at hockey (again, fuck that). 
“I get why you’re pissed at me, and I understand if you want me out of your life forever.” It shakes her to even utter those words. “But I…” 
She’s biting her lip, and you watch as she pulls a neatly folded piece of loose leaf paper from her pocket. With embarrassment flushing her face, she sets it on the couch for you to take.
“What’s this?” you ask softly, taking it in your hands and gently unfolding.
“Please don’t read it out loud.” 
Your heart quickens at the suspense, and your fingers come to a stop as Violet’s handwriting fills your vision. 
Dear _____, 
Oh my god.
The words fill your mind and apparently show through your eyes, because when you look at Violet once more, she’s looking more sheepish than ever.
With a deep breath, you read. 
I’ve been in love with you for so long, longer than I ever realized, and I never knew how much it warmed my heart and brightened my days until I lost you. The way your eyes light up when you laugh, the loud laugh that takes over your body when we’re alone, the quiet moments we shared, where we didn’t need words, just the way our hands fit together so perfectly. How being near you made everything feel like it was right, even when nothing else made sense. All of the little things that make you, you, have become the moments I crave most. 
I know I’ve messed up. Been too wrapped up inside my head and covered in fear to tell you the entire truth, but I miss us. I miss your laugh, your smile, the way we would talk about everything and nothing all at once. I wrapping my arm around your waist or kissing your neck cheek nose forehead and feeling like everything was right in the world when we were together. And I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you. I’m not asking for everything to go back to normal right away, because I know things take time. But I want to try again, if you’ll let me.
You’re worth every second, every inch of love that exists throughout my blood, and I will spend the rest of my days trying to show you just how much you mean to me.
-With all my love, yours truly, Violet
In the eleventh grade, you thought you loved Violet more than humanely possible.
Now, you wonder how shocked your younger self would be to hear that amount has grown exponentially. 
"I know it's bad. I'm not a genius like you bu-"
Lips smashing into hers silence any worries that the letter didn’t do its job. Your plush mouthes press against one another’s with a passion so deep, so genuine, that it speaks louder than any words you’ve spoken; louder than any love letter either of you have written. 
You faintly pull back, giggling breathily as Vi chases your lips with a look sweet enough to give you a heart attack. With touching foreheads and closed, relaxed eyes, you use the same words as when you first fell in love with her. Except this time– you say them out loud. 
“From my happily raised eyebrows to my.. gosh however I worded it. Y’know that was so corny now that I think about it,” you begin to whisper, and giggles erupt from both of your mouthes. You hum, placing another chaste kiss on her swollen lips. “I love you, Violet Vanderson. I really, really love you.” 
The warmth radiating from your soul and the heat of your intertwined bodies is all too much. It does anything but help when Violet places soft kisses on your cheek, ones that trail down to your jaw and the base of your neck as she gently pulls you into her lap. 
“Do you–” she places a kiss, “forgive me?” The suck and lick she gives to your neck sends a shudder down your spine. Wait, what’d she ask again? 
“I don’t know,” you hum teasingly, feeling her smirk against your wet skin. “I think you should work for it.” 
“Whatever you want. Tell me what you want, baby.” 
Fuck. How can words make your eyes roll into the back of your head? 
“Want you to—” 
You gasp as she slides her tongue down your neck, coming to kiss at your collarbones.
“Use your words, sweet girl,” she whispers sensually. 
“Fuck. I want you.” 
That’s all she needs, and Violet’s sliding a cold hand up your shirt, inching it up slowly over your bra and refusing to break eye contact. The action has you whimpering into submission, and you huff.
“You’re such a tease.” You complain.
“You’ll take it,” she hums, finally pulling the shirt over your head and going straight for the clasp of your bra. 
You take the time to trail a hand under her own shirt, letting your finger tips trail over her abs, and you gasp as your already hard nipples twitch from the newfound cold air when Vi tosses your bra to the side. 
“God you’re beautiful,” is the last thing she says before diving head first into your chest. The room is filled with soft kissing sounds, wet licks and pop’s from Vi’s mouth on your nubs, and your moans of pleasure when she twists at whatever nipple isn’t getting her mouth’s attention.
“Vi– babe please. Need you now.” 
She groans against your sensitive skin, releasing you from her mouth. 
“Need me now, baby?” The girl mocks your neediness with a smirk.
“Yeah, yes please,” you whimper out, and she snickers at how you’re already too dazed to focus. 
She decides she’s played with your tits enough (for now), and pulls you right back into a messy, tongue infested kiss as she flips your position. You lean against the couch as she reluctantly separates your lips, sliding kisses down the middle of your torso as her strong hands work at pulling down your pants terribly slowly. 
Once they’re off, and you think you’re free as she runs a finger along the middle of your panties, right over your clothed heat. She hums at the way you buck forward. Her just graze along the seam as you speak. 
“I’m not– mmm, feeling very forgiving right now…” you scold, eyes so gone that Violet has to stop herself from apologizing. 
“Do you want my mouth or fingers to change that?” she asks, and she can’t hold back the laugh any longer when your eyes unknowingly light up. 
“Mouth– both– Vi anything, just give me it now.” 
She laughs, finally pulling your underwear down at a reasonable pace and scolding you gently.
“We’ll work on fixing your tone another time.” 
She leaves the tiny fabric hanging off one of your delicate ankles, mumbling something about how fuckable you look sprawled out for her like this. The girl’s quick to effortlessly spread your legs, and she gulps at how slick and glistening your cunt is all for her. 
“Fuck me, baby,” she mutters in awe.
“I’m trying to,” you whine, taking her back to the present where you and your body are completely at her mercy.
Finally, your prayers are answered, and she’s licking a clean line straight up your pussy, taking a river of juices with her pleasure-inducing tongue. 
As if the taste enchants her, Vi’s dropping her head down to your needy heat. Her tongue lulls out, swirling against your clit, your hole, anywhere she can make you feel good. It’s not long before two thick fingers plunge into you, and you’re throwing your head back. 
“Oh my god, please please– yes.”
“Please? Please what, sweetheart?” she mocks once more. Your moans motivate the muscle-flexing girl to go deeper, go faster, and she has to hold you still when you arch from how sweet her digits hit your g-spot. 
The way she’s drinking your cunt sucks away your thoughts as well, and it’s not until she hands a harsh slap to your ass that you’re blinking, babbling something about needing to cum. 
“You can do it baby, yeah good girl. Fuck.” 
Sweet praises decorated with the perfect mixture of her fingers, tongue, and the lust-laced eye contact send you over the edge, and your loud moans carry throughout the entire space as you finish. 
Vi’s tools don’t stop, not until you’ve completely come down from the best high of your life, not until your shaky hand is gently placing itself over hers in silent appreciation. 
When your heavy pants are all that’s left to be heard, she kisses your cunt goodbye and says hello to your lips. A strong hand on the back of your head keeps your mouth pressed against hers, and you love it. Because you’re sure you could twist lips with this girl until you pass out from forgetting to breathe. 
“Taste yourself?” she whispers once her tongue’s slid out of your mouth. You can only nod, relishing in the way her arms wrap around your body, a silent insinuation that you’re hers to protect.
With a hum, you’re kissing both of her cheeks, then her nose and forehead in thanks as her chin rests against your chest.
“I guess that was a good enough apology.” You fake dissatisfaction, completely ignoring the way your body presses even further into hers while you smooth a hand through her hair. 
She snickers in disbelief.
“Think you need another? Just to see how sorry I am, of course.” 
You hum, finally shrugging with an inconcealable smile.
“I guess that’d work.” 
Vi makes no complaint, because why on earth would she, and she’s kissing a line right back where she started.
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“Is this too over the top? The number six was fine but the hand prints? Do I look like a high schooler? Be honest—” 
Mel cuts off your babbling with a laugh. “You didn’t want to look like a high schooler?” 
You’re whining from your position in the stands, and Mel’s apologizing for her joke as she confirms you look amazing. “Vi’s already seen you, and she seemed to love it,” she coos in your ear, bumping her hip against yours as you laugh. 
And the girl’s right. Throughout the game, Vi’s taken glances at you every second she gets. She’s grinning at the pink body paint handprints that travel up your legs, winking when you blow her kisses everytime your gazes lock, chuckling at how loud you get when you cheer ‘go Vi!’, and don’t get her started on how you’re body is clad in her big jersey. 
Yeah, she’s completely whipped. 
There’s only two minutes left in the game, and the Piltover Knights are winning 2-4. But you’re not entirely focused on the screaming atmosphere or Vi’s upcoming victory, because all you can think about is how hot and aggressive your girlfriend looks in her element.
There’s a jolt of joy that zips up your body, because: yeah, that’s your girlfriend. 
The horn chugs to signal the end of the match and the crowd’s roaring with glee, especially you and Mel, who jump up and down while screaming out for your respective players. 
Vi throws you a toothy smile from the ice, one that you see again after she exits the locker room and comes to find ‘her girl’ in the loitering crowd. 
She embraces and lifts you into the air, spinning you around as if you’re a feather in her grasp. Each giggle that spills from your lips is more joyous than the last, just like every moment you spend together. 
“You were so cool out there! Never seen you look so mad and focused,” you praise your pink-haired girl as she sets you down, placing a warm kiss to the top of your head.
“That’s because you bring out the good in me. I’m usually all rude and scary and—”
“With that hair?” you tease, ruffling your hand through her fluff. “You’re not fooling anybody, pinkie.” 
Vi’s jaw drops in shock. 
“Pinkie?” she repeats with a squinted gaze. 
A beat passes, and you’re turning to run away, but it’s too late. The athlete lunges forward, wrapping her arms around your core to trap you as you fake complain in protest, but giggles are soon falling from your mouth and breaking your character. 
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” her playful words kiss your ear.
“Oh whatever, you love me.” you grin through the claim, turning your head to have her beautiful face in your vision. 
Vi’s smile softens into something genuine as she scans over your pretty face. Your astonishing, stunning– fuck there are so many things she could say about your face, about your heart, about your brain, about you. 
“Yeah. I really, really do.” 
Sparkled blue eyes connect with yours, and they’re sending you into a trance as you’re lured into a tender kiss. 
With every kiss, the world around you is drowned out until it’s just you and Violet. Your minds, bodies, and hearts intertwine, and with each connection of your lips, you taste everything she feels.
It’s perfect, even better than you could’ve imagined from that creative writing class, and it gets better everyday that you live the reality.
From the grasp of your passionate kiss, as colors of blue, auburn, chestnut brown and more pass by you, you smile knowing that safe in your arms lies your perfect pink. 
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©silknspice
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soonyoullgetbetterx · 2 years ago
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Soon You'll Get Better
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The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair In doctor's-office-lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared That was the first time we were there Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too
I don't remember every single detail that happened to me after that time I was treated. However, I remembered we went to a shrink to consult more about my condition. Well we went to plenty of other shrinks afterwards and it wasn't until recently that I found a shrink I could work with. Who, after a year or so, is finally a good fit. It took me ten years to get here.
Ten years of ups and downs. Ten years of uncertainties. Ten years of agony -of wanting it to end. It's a tumultuous journey for sure. Just when I thought I'm doing better, I would be back where I started -sometimes even a few steps behind. Despite all of that, I am somewhat amazed of myself. How I found the courage and willingness to keep on going and trying even when I was hit by dead ends repeatedly. That my journey is anything but over.
These lyrics have never rung truer than when I was seeing a shrink for the first time after I got out of treatment. And many more first times after that when seeing a new one every single time. What bits and pieces I could remember from those meetings, were how you'd act differently than when you were at home. Which got me thinking I was indeed loosing my mind.
When everyone's telling me that I'm crazy and that my condition's just like yours, it's hard to not believe in those loud outside voices that drown out my inner voice. When chaos is all I've ever known, it becomes what I'd accept as normal. Sometimes I wonder, how much of my condition is really a condition and how much of it is something I internalized from my chaotic environment growing up?
Learning more about my condition and in extension yours, helps me feel better about myself. I learned that there are things simply beyond my control and that not everything is my fault. Despite what I was raised to believe. It might not be a smooth journey, but I am slowly finding my footing and voice again. They still get deterred and silenced at times, but I'm still a work in progress and always will be.
In this big bad world, I have no choice but to get better. Not because people care or support me. Simply because I have to.
Don't be a stranger,
soonyoullgetbetterx
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scuderiahalf · 9 months ago
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brother's prejudice — max fewtrell
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pairings. max fewtrell x norris!fem!reader, lando norris x twin!fem!reader
summary. you have always been happy to support lando in any way you can but when he can't give that same support back when your relationship with his best friend is revealed, you're left wondering if your relationship with your twin brother will ever be the same. 4.2k, 18+
playlist. "idfc" by blackbear, "the heart wants what it wants" by selena gomez, "our song" by taylor swift, "it will come back" by hozier, "make me like you" by gwen stefani
warnings. lando's a bit of a dick but he makes up for it, censored oral (male receiving)
masterlist.
. . .
"Do you want me to suck your dick or do you want to watch Markiplier?"
"Do you want an honest answer?"
You huffed, and started to get out of bed. "I'm going to take a shower."
"No, baby, I'm just kidding."
Max grabbed hold of your hand before you even fully got to your feet. He tugged you back onto the mattress, pushed you down and hovered over you.
"You're too late. The moment is gone," you said.
"I'm sorry."
He tried to kiss you but only got your cheek when you turned your head to the side.
"Baby, don't be like that. C'mon."
He kissed your neck and your breath caught in your throat because you were just a girl. You were just a weak girl when it came to Max.
"I love you," he said into the skin of your neck.
"Hm," you pretended to consider it, "Apology accepted. Lay down, drama queen."
You pushed at Max's shoulder and he let you get on top of him. You grabbed a hair tie from the nightstand to pull your hair back with.
Max let his hands slide under your shirt—which was actually his shirt, which was why he was only in his sleep shorts at the moment. He freely let himself feel you up as you tied your hair up, squeezing your thighs and hips, your ass and up to your boobs.
"You've got to stop groping me if you want me to give you a blowjob."
"But you know how much I love groping you."
You laughed and pulled his hands out of your shirt. You intertwined your fingers with his, leaned down to kiss his nose.
"You're really making it seem like you don't want me to suck you off."
"I never said that."
You kissed the knuckles on each of Max's hands before shimmying further down the bed, pulling the blankets with you. Soon, the only sounds in the room were Max's sighs of pleasure and the lewd, wet noises coming from your mouth.
Then, someone with the spare keycard to Max's hotel room unlocked the door and entered without knocking.
"Max, mate, the plane's leaving at ten, not eleven, apparently. I tried texting you in the group chat but—what. The. Fuck."
Thank god Lando was a naturally loud individual, giving just enough time for you to sit up and wipe your mouth, for Max to pull his shorts back up. You both faced Lando with similar caught expressions, still tangled up in bed together but thankfully without your lips currently around Max’s dick.
"Are you actually kidding me? My sister? What the fuck, mate?"
You jumped in to try and defuse the situation before it escalated. "Lando, just wait a second. Let me explain—"
Lando cut you a harsh glare. "I'm not fucking talking to you. We can talk about you acting like a slag later."
You drew back, more than a little hurt at your twin's words and the tone in which he said them.
"Don't talk to her like that," Max stood up for you.
"That's really what you're worried about right now?"
"That you're calling your sister a slag? Yeah, it is."
"What the fuck is going on? You get busy with the one girl that has always been off limits and you think you're some sort of knight in shining armor?"
"Let's just all wait a second. Yeah? Let's just take a breath."
“Shut up, Y/N.”
“Lando, if you think—“
“Please don’t argue, Max—“
“He’s being a fucking dick to you, Y/N—“
“I’m being the dick? You’re shagging my sister—“
“That’s no excuse to talk to her like that—“
“It’s not like that—“
“How long has this been going on?”
“Lando, just listen—“
“Ten months.”
You close your eyes.
“TEN MONTHS!”
The flight back home was going to be a long one.
.
“You really don’t have to come.”
“Do you not want me to?”
“No, I do but… Lando is going to be there.”
“And you don’t trust him not to cause a scene?”
“I don’t know if I trust either of you not to get into a shouting match in front of our parents.”
You were already dressed and ready to go to your parents for dinner. You sat on the bathroom counter as Max finished getting ready. He was fixing his hair, the last step before he would be done, also.
You watched as the gentle, concentrated furrow in his brow deepened to one of anger. “He called you a slag, Y/N. I don’t care if he’s your brother; that’s not okay.”
“He said I was acting like a slag—“
“Same difference.”
“—and he didn’t mean it. He was just caught off guard. I did go behind his back…”
“Don’t paint him as the victim. Admittedly, we probably should have told him sooner but that doesn’t mean he gets it be a dick about it.”
Max momentarily abandoned his hair to squeeze your knee.
“You have to stop making excuses for him.”
“He’s my brother.”
“And he has always walked all over you. When was the last time he properly apologized to you for anything?"
“Max…”
This wasn’t the first time Max had brought this up and every time, you deflected or excused everything Max tried to shine a light on. Lando was Max’s best friend but he was your brother, your twin brother. You had never not known him.
Lando was integral in who you were as a person. You were made as a pair. You grew up as a pair. You had always had each other. He was your built in best friend. You always had his back, no matter what.
If you were a pushover, if you let Lando tease you and speak to you in ways you’d never let anyone else, if you tolerated things from him you that you shouldn’t, then that was your decision.
Max didn’t understand that. He didn’t seem capable of understanding the complex workings of your relationship with your twin. You would do anything for Lando, regardless of what it would mean for you, and you were fine with that.
That was how it had always been: Lando, the showman, and you, the supportive sister. Even back when you were karting together, Lando was out front and you were playing defense to protect his position.
You celebrated his victories more than you ever celebrated your own but that was fine. He was your brother and you loved him.
“Okay, fine. Whatever,” Max relented on that front. “But this is a step too far. He doesn’t get to act like a petulant little kid because I’m dating you. Calling you names and running away to Monaco when he’s meant to be filming with Quadrant. He’s being ridiculous.”
Some part of you knew the punishment of Lando ignoring you for the past month didn’t fit the crime of not telling him you were dating Max. The bigger, more conscious part of you felt like carving “traitor” into your forearm with a steak knife and hoping the pain would make your brother forgive you.
Your messages to Lando had become a wall of blue, full of apologies, begging to let you explain, attempts at striking up a conversation like normal, asking if he had meant to cancel your plane ticket to the Azerbaijan Grand Prix followed by even more apologies and then congratulations on a race well done.
You played with your fingers the whole car ride. Max reached over at one point after you had started picking at your cuticles to kiss the back of your hand and hold it the rest of the way, making idle talk that did nothing to distract you from what you were headed towards.
After Lando found you two in Max’s hotel room and the ensuing argument got heated on both of the boys’ sides, Max stayed with you for a few days. When he finally went back to his and Lando’s London flat hoping to talk things out before filming for Quadrant, Lando had cleared out.
He posted a rather passive aggressive Instagram story a few days later about “real friends” featuring some other F1 drivers all holding padel rackets. Max had not been happy when he found you torn up over it, shedding tears over the fear that you had lost your brother.
You had always been sensitive. Quick to cry, quick to care, quick to get attached, quick to get hurt. Lando poked fun at you for it your entire lives but he was also the first to jump in and defend you whenever anyone else said anything to you.
Lando’s distance over the last few weeks hurt. Like, physically hurt. You would see something that you thought he would find funny and go to text him about it just to remember he was giving you the silent treatment and your chest would hurt for the next several hours as you waited on a reply that never came.
Despite it all, when you saw Lando stood in the kitchen with your mom, the first time you had seen him in over three weeks, you couldn't help but smile.
He was halfway to returning it, as if on instinct alone. Then, he noticed Max at your back and his face fell devoid of any sort of pleased emotion. Your own smile fell, chest starting to ache again.
“Y/N darling, there you are.” Your mom came over to hug you and kiss your cheek, then did the same to Max. “And Max! Your best be treating my girl right.”
"Of course, Mrs Norris."
"Stop it with that; I've told you to call me Cisca."
"Mum knows?" Lando said. "You already told mum? Did she know before I did?"
You drew a sharp breath. It was difficult to talk to Lando when his tone was both wounded and accusatory.
"She called me not long after you boys had your spat," your mom explained, "Told me all about her and Max and I couldn't be more pleased. I always knew you fancied him, Y/N, even back in your karting days."
"Muuuum," you groaned, embarrassed even if Max already knew how long you had been crushing on him.
Max laughed and kissed your cheek. "The Shield fancied me."
"Shut up."
“The Shield” was the cringe-worthy nickname that karting media outlets had given you back in the day on account of how difficult it was to overtake you. So much of your karting career had been defense for Lando but you always felt a little victorious whenever you made a boy mad about getting beat by you simply because he couldn't get around you.
You could have gone far in racing if you hadn't quit after a single season of F4.
Lando gagged at Max's display of affection.
Max zeroed in on him, eyes sharp and mouth opening to call him out. You caught his shirt between your fingers, silently reminding him that he had promised not to start a fight. He looked mighty unhappy about it, but Max let his chest deflate and followed you into the dining room to help your other siblings set the table.
Ten minutes later, you all sat down to eat.
This was not the first time Max had dinner with your family. It had become such a common occurrence that it didn't cross any of your minds that your typical seating arrangement had your dad at one head of the table, your mom at the other, your older brother and sisters on one side, and you, Lando, and Max on the other, in that order, always with Lando between you.
Even dating Max, you didn’t think to sit next to him because that was Lando’s seat. It didn’t even cross your mind that it might not have been the best decision to sit your twin next to his best friend who had gone behind his back to date you for months without telling him but it was too late for that.
Lando was the last to sit down after going to retrieve the forgotten napkins. You considered swapping seats last minute as he hesitated over the dining room threshold, then thought better of making a scene and resigned yourself to a torturous dinner without being able to hold Max's hand through it all.
After getting caught by Lando, you had told your mom about you and Max. She had obviously clued your father in but you weren't sure which of your siblings knew the full extent of what went down when Lando found out.
Oliver and Cisca seemed oblivious enough, even if they were casting confused glances at you, Lando and, Max, trying to figure out why the three of you weren't speaking to each other. However, Flo was keeping an awfully watchful eye on your twin and boyfriend, as though waiting for the show to begin.
Table talk was casual and nearly pleasant. With Lando uncharacteristically silent beside you, and Max refusing to so much as look at his best friend, you couldn't fully enjoy spending time with your family while they were all together.
Max caught your eye behind Lando. He gave you a smile, one you couldn't quite return. Lando leaned back and got in the way of your eyeline to Max. You turned back to your food, continuing to pick at the delicious pork your mom had cooked but not able to enjoy it.
"Max, what of you?"
"Sorry?" Max was about as clueless to the conversation at hand as you were.
"Do you have plans to visit Monaco any more this year?"
They must have been talking about the trip your parents and youngest sister would be taking to Monaco during Cisca's summer break. You had planned on taking time off work to go with them, as well as with Max later in the year, closer to the end of the F1 season to attend a few races and help film some Quadrant content.
"Are you and Y/N going sometime together, possibly?"
It was a harmless enough suggestion from your mother. She probably only wanted to try and get Lando and Max to say a word to each other.
Then, despite having already agreed to house both of you later in the year, Lando said, "They haven't mentioned anything."
You really were not enjoying this dinner.
It was getting harder and harder to have all your siblings in the same place as you all got older. Only Cisca lived at home now and she was going off to uni in Manchester next year.
You missed when being with your family was easy, when you didn't even have to think about it. You missed your childhood bedroom that was now the second guest bedroom, your and Lando's bunk beds long gone.
You missed your brother terribly, even if it had only been about three and a half weeks since contact was cut. You didn't want to lose him to something like this but at the same time, you couldn't imagine letting Max go.
Max made you so happy. Couldn't Lando see that? Couldn't he see how in love you were? Couldn't he accept your and Max's relationship for the sake of not wanting to lose his twin sister and best friend?
You would do anything for Lando. You had given up so much for him. You supported him at every twist and turn of your lives. You just wanted things to be okay again.
"Y/N darling, what’s wrong?"
Your mom’s question was quiet, meant to not attract anyone’s attention. But Lando and Max were both quiet, too, in unsettling amounts from the two of them. They both looked at you just in time to see you wiping at your cheek.
"I'm fine."
Except you weren't fine. You were sad and nostalgic and sick of feeling that way and now you were all teary. You just wanted a nice dinner with your family where the two men you loved most in the world acted normal and you didn't start randomly crying at the dining table.
Lando put his hand on your arm. "Y/N/N, are you alright?"
Like his touch finally shook loose something inside you that you had been holding back since the hotel argument or maybe even longer, you rounded on your twin brother.
"No, I'm not alright! How could I be alright when you're acting like this?"
Lando immediately threw his walls back up, going on defense. "You and Max went behind my back."
"And that means you get to throw a month long hissy fit over it?"
"You've been dating for ten months!"
"It's actually eleven, now, mate."
Lando turned to shoot a glare at your boyfriend. "Shut up, Max."
"Stop being a dick, Lando! Just stop! Yes, we should have told you sooner. Yes, I'm sorry you found out like you did. But that doesn't mean you get to treat me, treat us like this."
"How am I supposed to react?"
"You're supposed to get over the initial shock and be happy that two of the people you care about are happy together."
(On the other side of the table, Cisca leaned closer to Oliver. "When did Y/N and Max start dating?"
"I think he said eleven months ago."
"That long and they haven't told us?"
Flo shushed them both. "Shut up; I'm trying to watch.")
"How am I meant to be happy about you two lying to me for the last year?" Lando demanded.
"I have been trying to apologize and talk to you about that for the last month and you haven't let me! You ran off to Monaco, ditched your Quadrant responsibilities, and left me thinking that I'd ruined things forever. That's such a dick move, Lando! Fuck—"
You were crying again. You wiped angrily at your cheeks, wanting to be taken seriously and get your point across but it was difficult when you had tears running down your face.
"You can't just ditch me like that when things get rough. It's not fair when I've been there with you through everything. I have never not supported you. I have always been there for you. I quit racing so that you wouldn't get passed over. But the second I do something you don't like, you can't give me even an ounce of support in return."
"What do you mean you quit racing so I wouldn't get passed over?"
Your chest went still, blood running cold. Shit. Shit shit shit, Lando was never meant to know about that. You had never planned on telling him. Never ever. Not even when you were old and saggy and there would be no consequences. You were meant to take that secret to the grave.
"That's not what's important. I don't understand—"
"What did you mean, Y/N?"
You gulped. "It's nothing. It was a long time ago, anyway. It doesn't matter."
"Y/N."
.
"Me? You want to sign me?"
The Josef Kaufmann Racing representative grinned at your bewilderment. "Yes, you."
"No way. Are you serious?"
"Completely. It obviously won't be set in stone today and we'll need to speak with your parent or guardian but Carlin would be lucky to have you on our roster next season."
"Oh my god. No way!"
You had been worried about next season as all the 2015 series were nearing their ends and you had yet to have been scouted by any teams. Your contract with Mücke Motorsport was coming to an end after this season but now you had been offered a seat in the next level of racing, at the same team your brother was in talks with, no less.
"Oh, this is great! Lando and I will still be on the same team. You know, my brother and I have always walked about being on the same F1 team. That would be crazy, obviously, but this is just like that but on a smaller scale."
"We'd not be giving your brother a seat."
Your excitement was gone in an instant. "Sorry?"
"Lando wouldn't have the seat in Formula Renault. It would be yours, instead."
"You're offering me... my brother's seat."
"That is correct."
Just like that, you let your career die. "I don't want it, then."
The rep blinked at you. "What?"
"Give the seat to Lando. He's who you want. He's the better driver. He has always finished before me."
"He would not have if you were not defending his position. Josef Kaufmann would rather have you driving for them next year."
"I don't want the seat. Give it to Lando. I was planning on quitting racing, anyway. Sign Lando for next year. He'll do well for you."
.
"Y/N, what the actual fuck?"
You ducked your head. "Don't blow it out of proportion."
"You gave away you entire racing career at the drop of a hat because you didn't want to take a seat that I hadn't even been signed for yet? You— Why would you do that?"
"Because you're my brother."
Behind Lando, Max was staring at you, wide-eyed. All around the table, your family openly stared at you in shock, not quite able to believe the real reason you had suddenly dropped out of racing.
The reason you had given was that you had gotten bored of it. That you had only ever gotten into it because of Lando. That you didn’t want to constantly be in competition with your brother. That when Lando got famous, you didn’t want to be his lesser racing counterpart.
There may have been some truth in those excuses but the whole truth was this: you had been offered the seat Lando was negotiating for and you would not take it from him. You loved racing; you did not love it more than you loved your brother.
“Y/N, I… I honestly don’t even know what to say.”
“You could start with an apology,” Max offered.
“To both of us,” you added.
Max leaned back in his chair. “I’m good back here. Worry about me later.”
“No, she’s right,” Lando said. “I’ve been a real dick to both of you over the last few weeks. You guys didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve always had Max as my chosen best friend and you, Y/N, as my built in best friend but then you guys started getting closer. Then, I found out you’re together and it’s like, what do you need me for if you have each other?”
Any anger you may have been holding onto melted into sympathy. “Aw, Lando—“
“You are so fucking thick, mate,” Max cut in. “You think I’m going to treat my girlfriend the same way I treat your dumbass? I need a platonic best friend just as much as I need a romantic one.”
You laughed at the face Lando pulled.
“If you start referring to us as your platonic and romantic best friends, I’m fleeing to Monaco again.”
“It’s too late. It’s already started, platonic best friend.”
“Eugh, this is terrible. Go back to being awkward acquaintances, please.”
“I love her, mate. There’s no going back from that.”
You loved Max. Wholly and truly you did. How well he got along with Lando was just the icing on the cake, another thing to add onto the list of reasons you were stupidly in love with him.
Your lovesick expression must have been quite obvious because suddenly Lando was shoving your head to the side with a hand over your face.
“Oh my god, don’t look at him like that—I’m gonna barf.”
(Oliver had gone back to his food.
Cisca was still watching, confused. “Wait, so Y/N and Max have been dating for eleven months and not even Lando knew? Why?”
“Apparently, it was an oversight.”
Flo speared an asparagus. “This is better than any TV show I’ve watched all year.”
“You’re enjoying this too much,” Oliver said.
“I’m the only one enjoying this the correct amount. I’ve been waiting for Lando to stop cockblocking Y/N and Max since 2014. I am allowed to be entertained by their drama.”)
“Can we circle back to the whole quit racing because of Lando thing?” Max asked, “Because what the fuck, babe?”
“You quit racing, too!”
“Because I was burnt out, not because I would rather throw my entire career away than make my brother momentarily unhappy while other teams jumped at the opportunity to sign him up.”
“It’s fine! I mean, look at where Lando is now. Season number five of Formula One! It all worked out in the end.”
.
“Are you really okay with us being together?”
You stood outside with Lando and Max after dinner had finished up. Your parents were loading the dishwasher, Oliver was driving off down the street, and Flo was finishing up doing something with Cisca inside. The three of you were finally able to talk privately.
Lando was quiet for a while after your question. He still seemed a little hesitant but it wasn’t anywhere near how he had reacted in the hotel. He glanced down at where you were holding Max’s hand, then looked away, still thinking.
“You’re not allowed to have sex while I’m in the flat,” is what Lando eventually decided on saying.
Max, unimpressed, said, “It’s a bit late for that, mate.”
“Oh my god,” you muttered, covering your face with your hands.
Lando yelled his displeasure quite loudly. Max just laughed at him, not at all apologetic.
Even if your face was burning, at least you knew things would be okay. You had your brother back. Max had his best friend back. And Lando had both of you back.
The three of you were messy and intertwined but you would be okay.
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mbsanandreas13 · 3 months ago
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💛 My friend Dario has a super mega car
Drives too fast
Drives to clash
And the way the wheels are spinning forth ❤️
(I’m really so happy for Selena that she’s got engaged, Taylor will be the best flower girl/bridesmaid at Selena’s wedding)
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