#other than the jokes that the kids buy shit 24/7

[mikeluciraphgabe]

I think we should look into Bruce Wayne’s garden people

He’s rich with a BIG ass property

Someone needs to cut that grass, fix up the flowers, trim a few trees, help the vegetables and fruits not get tangled, make sure the grave-yard doesn’t get overrun with weeds, etc etc

And, well, Alfred is getting a little too old to stay out in the sun that long/doesn’t have time with … other duties

Bruce would loved to, but as both Batman and running WE, he can’t

And his children definitely won’t do that thanks

He has no option but to hire a company

Do they find out he’s Batman purely by making a wrong turn with the mower? Yes. Do they say shit about fuck? Nope. They’re just happy that this tiny ass company that had like 5 people (3 related to the owner) is getting sudden hires/interest by others to actually say anything to anyone about Mr. Wayne and his kids’ activities at nighttime

(Also, points that they just Like It there cuz “WE employees don’t lie. Mr. Wayne is the best employer by far. We even have physical therapy covered if we happened to pull something on the job.”)

[seat-safety-switch]

"The '70s are coming back," explained the very patient sales lady at the Hudson Bay furniture department the other day. I was inquiring about a weird-looking brown sofa that some unscrupulous garbage-picker had clearly dumped in the middle of their showroom. Imagine my surprise when, rather than being grateful to see me haul it away and put it into my living room (I need new things to stack carburetors on,) she asked me for eight thousand dollars instead.

This is exactly why I don't shop at the downtown Bay very often. Too bougie, with all those lawyers, attorneys, barristers, and legal practitioners coming in there on their lunch breaks and buying seven sets of brand new underwear for the coming week. On the way home, though, I had plenty of time in the mandatory traffic jam (behind two Maybachs and an Aston) to think about what she had said. Could it possibly be true that my smoking, heaving, late-70s piece of shit Plymouth Volare, the very same vehicle that was mostly under my feet at this exact moment, be worth more than I paid for it?

To answer this question, I found an appraiser in the phone book. When I was a kid, I thought an "appraiser" was like the weird little dude who follows behind the bully in teen comedies, backing up everything they say. In actual fact, that is called a "hype man," and I recommend you not hire one of those to appraise your car. Appraiser Dave (or David, if you're friends) told me that he could do an appraisal of my car in his driveway in just minutes. At last, I would know what kind of asset base I had been flinging into corners and onto golf courses at reckless land speeds this whole time.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he spat, and demanded the payment immediately. Luckily for me, at that exact moment, a squirrel shook out of its home in the air cleaner and ran up his shirt sleeve. I think it was Ted, but it might have been his common-law wife, Tedina.

His or her tragic sacrifice was not made in vain, as in the ensuing distraction I was able to escape the neighbourhood without Appraiser Dave seeing my license plate. It helps that I couldn't shut the engine off, because it diesels really bad when you do that, and it eats batteries whenever it sits for more than ten minutes. Cheaper to just let it run 24/7 and top up the gas every morning. I need to count every penny: I'm saving up for a couch.

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Nowadays (in 2024).

Ponyboy (born 2010)

on playstation 24/7

“FIVE MORE MINUTES, DARREL.”

his username is smth stupid like ‘smokersleftlung’ or ‘mylittlep0ny’

“wya?” when ur at his door

vapes.

SORRY.

noah kahan lover

jeans, steel toe boots, camo shirt, neon orange jacket.

would try to get his friends to read

but gets called a dork :)

“Something in the Orange” on full blast while thinking of Cherry

posts horrendous .5s of himself on snap

typa guy to hold a fish on his instagram

favourite show is probably yellowstone

Johnny (born 2008)

loves open boxing the gang !

sad he has an xbox and not ps like the boys

HATES fortnite.

unironically says skibidi gyat

“hey dal, look at that furry over there.”

its just some kid.

foster care.

dallas would add him on snap and getting annoyed when he said “wyll”

has a stupid bow by his name

“johnny🎀”

like bro you are not coquette.

cries to wlw poetry.

snap user: “ooh_achurch” insta: “cadecade55”

used :3 once and never did it again.

watched friends and says “hes so me” whenever he sees ross.

Dallas (born 2007)

“wyll”

typa guy to yell GYATTT in public

barks at emos and furries

vapes in the school bathroom

racist.

would call you a slur for looking at him for more than a second.

mullet + perm combo

jumped a 7 year old and got on the news

male manipulator core

owns a husky named after himself

knife enthusiast.

screams at his dad for ten more minutes on the playstation

“do u send?”

no i do not thank you very much.

suicide boys. lil peep.

thinks he’s dean from supernatural

same username everywhere: “imnottexan”

fav show: big mouth

Adelaide (born 2010)

regina george but on a mental level

gatekeeper.

arsonist !

had a friend group with “bug” “kai” “arson” and “alex” in 2021 and nearly khs.

almost thought she was bi.

fought a girl in the locker room at school

takis, cookie monster pajama pants, latina makeup

SABRINA AND CHAPPELL LOVER, used to be a swiftie

sturniolo triplet fan (owns all of space camp)

buys clothes from shein

usernames: “addiethebaddie” “adelaidecurtis”

fav show wld be shameless

BEDROTTING.

grew up on spongebob and bubble guppies

writes poetry in her notes app

Darry (born 2004)

“live laugh love” sign somewhere in the house

“Doesn’t know how to text normally .”

(jkjk)

“PHONE ON THE TABLE WHEN YOU GET HOME.”

has a pinterest board full of pumpkins and dogs

invested in the kardashians

the therapist friend

facetimes the gang when he’s on lunch break

doesnt understand what skibidi is

ONLINE COLLEGE!!!

blasts dad rock when he drops off the twins at school

duct taped two-bit to the top of his car during freshman kill week

did the same to steve

class of ‘22

lowk eats up lana del rey

hates twitter and instagram

username: “darrel_curtis”

believes in angel numbers (me too king)

has a picture of him holding a fish on his instagram to ‘attract the females’

Sodapop (born 2008)

boycott

belittle

boyboss

owned wizz for less than a day

trolled little kids on roblox with steve

saw too many… things on omegle.

scrolls on tiktok for hours.

usernames: “thispxssytasteslikepepsi” “sodap0p08”

binges twilight in hiding

also barks at emos and furries

laughs at any kinda fart joke

showed pony a picture of a horse and said “found u online”

they fought.

threatened to break the tv when he couldn’t play slime rancher for three hours

turns his life360 off when he goes out with sandy or to a car show

Two-Bit (born 2006)

broke four controllers when he played seige

trolls on fortnite

finally fucking finished high school (class of ‘24)

ice cream scoop hair

binges bojack horseman

bo burnham’s biggest fan

made a huge deal when the queen died

refused to wear a mask during quarantine because ‘ITS FOR SISSIES’

preaches the second amendment “MERICAAA”

username: “twobit”

sends random memes in the gc when the others are fighting

hates xbox users

complains about adelaide using shein

“tummy hurty” posts on his insta story

would slap the shit out of you if you said seige was just a game

Steve (born 2007)

trolls on dti

eats goldfish like his life depends on it

username: “handletherandle”

also preaches the second amendment

and the first

and the fifth

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICA—

went on a school trip to dc and hated everything he had to eat

doordashes when he has enough

hypocrite

wld call you a slur for a GOOD reason

avid minecraft player

and overwatch.

mountain dew addict

reposts politics and cars on twitter

hates minion memes

“wyll”

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

[annievrse]

boyfriend!eren headcanons pt. 5 .*･｡ﾟ

—ᡣ𐭩 headcanons a/n: u guys love him, so i will provide more...... c/w: zeke is a father (his kid is named oliver), use of y/n once part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

children LOVE bf!eren and he treats them like they're his friends instead of actual kids

bf!eren 'hangs out' with his nephew instead of babysitting him. he talks to oliver about the basketball game on tv like he's his best mate..... asking for his opinion, if he wants a beer, about his doctor's visit yesterday, 'hey y/n, can i give him some pizza?'..... when ollie is literally 4 months old

bf!eren wears nba jerseys or oversized graphic tees with sweat shorts...... that's just his style. i really can't see him in anything other than sweatpants, a hoodie, and his bigass dunks when he goes out.... sorry to all the fashion girlies 😔

BUT, if it's somewhere important (team dinner, awards night, a wedding, a ball perhaps etc), then he does wear a suit & dress shoes (all black). he's not THAT laidback ok

bf!eren surprises you with your favourite dessert every friday night (not really a surprise atp, but it's the thought that counts <333)

wherever you sit, bf!eren has his arm over the back of the chair/couch you're on

bf!eren LOVES sci-fi movies from the 70s & 80s, hence the back to the future DVDs (part 4), the star wars funko pops (leia, darth vader, chewie, luke) he has around his room, and the framed dune poster in his living room

bf!eren listens to rap music, mostly kendrick, travis, eminem, baby keem, chief keef, yeat... i could go on forever. BUT he also loves 80s rock (eg his bon jovi vinyl (part 4), inxs CDs, and many more), and 90s & 00s club music

you keep extra snacks in your backpack for bf!eren because he gets hungry in class AFKJSAFJ

bf!eren flirts with you 24/7, and pretends to flirt with you as a stranger in public sometimes because he is SILLY

you both have an obsession with taking photos of each other (but find it annoying when the other does it) (e.g. on a picnic, you've got your phone out, ready to take a picture of bf!eren absolutely destroy his sandwich, but when he sees you, he tilts his head and sighs, covering his face with one hand and his other holds the sandwich to his mouth) (e.g. 2. you're reading on the couch, bf!eren is sat across from you, your legs on top of his. and because eren never turns his phone ringer off, you hear him take a photo of you. you groan instantly and cover your face with the book, whining his name. he just giggles and adds it to his folder of photos of you)

bf!eren throws grapes at you when you ignore him (lovingly)

bf!eren buys your favourite album on vinyl so he can keep it at his house

bf!eren likes being the little spoon but will be the big spoon if you don't want to <3

bf!eren plays with your fingers when watching tv/movies because he can't sit still to save his life

bf!eren is a golden retriever boyfriend, but he can be such an asshole!!

in part 2 i mentioned he can be so condescending and petty in an argument, and that's because he doesn't know how to express his emotions in a healthy way (but he's working on it with you!!)

in basketball games against certain colleges, bf!eren gets so fired up and aggressive and lippy. he talks so much shit on the court (he's known for it), and isn't afraid to take shit either (which pisses off the other team, and the whole cycle starts again)

but, it's a bonus for you when he gets off the court because he's looking extra hot..... and he knows it...... asshole

bf!eren is such a gossip too, like he hears ONE thing from jean in passing, and suddenly everyone in the group has heard about it... but everybody already knows not to tell bf!eren anything they don't want anyone else to know (the group still makes jokes about how poor jean got scammed by a fake protein powder website (he lost $200 HA.... sorry))

lmao bf!eren's such a little shit <3

[hauntedrain]

Part 2: F1 Drivers as Fathers Headcanons

A/N: Not edited.

✧*̥˚ Part two: includes Lando & Oscar*̥˚✧

AN: Not edited.

Lando Norris ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

A goofy dad for sure. Like always joking around and messing with the kids. Would also be the type of dad to agree with random stuff, like bringing an animal home, to buying a stupid toy.

Honestly, it's probably not him saying yes because he wants to keep them happy (even though it's a part of it), but mainly because he genuinely thinks it's a good idea. Like why is it a bad idea to buy a big RV car? or a kitten?

I think he would like to do things like, play games, build Lego sets, or watch movies/TV shows with his kid rather than going out and doing things.

I think once he found out he was going to be a father, he was over the moon with excitement and happiness. Like sweetly bragging about it or bringing it up whenever he could to fellow drivers or friends.

However as for his worries, I don't think he really would have any, and if he did he wouldn't let it get to his head. But I do think he was on high alert to make sure that everything was okay, and that everything was taken care of before and after the baby was born.

I don't think He would necessarily want his kids to get into racing or even push it. I think he wouldn't really care, however if they did get into karting/racing he would be overjoyed and make sure they had everything they needed to be successful and supported.

Like showing up as much as possible to their races, and celebrating if they did good, and even if they didn't do the best competitively wise he would cheer them up somehow. I don't think he would care much in the sense that they're winning or competing well, but rather if they're just having fun and enjoying it.

I think he would like to travel with his kids a lot, like exploring different places and making major memories with them. And best believe he has a photo album with all the photos he took at any place you guys visited.

After every trip, he gets the pictures printed out and as a family, you guys sit down and make and fill the album with the pictures, and decorate it, kinda like a scrapbook or something.

Oscar Piastri ✧･ﾟ: *

Would be a gentle father for sure.

Would be there to help his kids 24/7 or be very protective over them. Making sure they're feeling well all the time, if their shoes are tied correctly, or if they tired he carries them until they get home or aren't tired anymore.

I feel like he would do things like take his kids on a walk, or to something like a zoo, aquarium, park, museum, etc all the time.

I also feel like he would do arts and crafts with his kids if that was something they were interested in.

Like making paper flowers or drawing something with them. or like imagine him lying down on the living room floor with his kid, having colored pencils and crayons around them while coloring in coloring books together. ( he also probably has his own coloring book of cars or animals tbh)

As for him finding out he was going to be a father, I think he wouldn't be worried but rather very happy. Like all smiley and shit since he found out.

He would make sure everything was perfect for his kid, like having a checklist of things you guys need for the house or nursery. Or even reading things to support you and his child throughout and after to make sure things can go as smoothly as possible, and that he can be helpful and useful for anything you or the kid needs.

I think he would enjoy it if his kids could be at his races, even though he knows it is hard to travel all the time, but I do think he would like the idea of being able to spend that time with his family and if there was free time between each weekend and location he would take you guys to explore around the area.

As for if he cares if his kids get into racing or karting, I don't think he would really care. He would love it if they did, but on the other hand, I think he wouldn't want them to get hurt or anything like that and probably silently prefer if they picked a different sport or something not related to sports, like speech & debate or something like that.

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: I'm sorry for not posting in a while, I got a bit sick and school is starting up again. I'm also sorry if this isn't the best, I think I'm forming a small writer's block, so I was struggling to come up with ideas (especially for Lando? I don't know why.) However I hope you still like it, Love you guys <3

[onesidedradiostatic]

Re: https://www.tumblr.com/onesidedradiostatic/768559046590627840/sp-sp-spades-i-didnt-take-the-diamonds-into

aroace comrade here, (everyone’s mileage varies, and I’m not a broad representative or anything) and I didn’t see anything that explicitly couldn’t be aroacey for Mammon in this ep? I put that down to having oblivious!aroace goggles permanently glued onto my face, so I’m open to being told otherwise! These are just my thoughts as dot points, I’m not poking at anyone specifically.

- Asking someone if they want to go out later or after something doesn’t always mean “on a date”, it can just mean like, hanging out, and it can also be as banal as walking vaguely next to each other, small talking about work or in awkward silence, buy lunch at the same cafe, walk back to work and then not even eat lunch together or see each other again that day because you’re coworkers and not actual friends

- ‘out on the town’ means getting pissed at multiple establishments, or even a shopping spree, being demanding nuisances. It evokes, like, a montage of over-indulgence, which checks out for Greed. You can go out on the town with anyone, relationship-irrelevant. I’m not sure if these mean something different in America?

- “fuck with” doesn’t always mean fuck with, it can mean “put up with”

- Mammon seemed unimpressed (in the australian sense of “pissed off”) when Bee told him to eat a dick, so maybe eating dick isn’t something he thinks “applies” to him. If Bee had used any other thing that can be eaten, he’d probably reply with “THANK YOU I WILL”. He looks even less impressed at being told to go fuck himself, so maybe that’s not something he’s into either. He seemed most pissed at being called a big asshole. XD ig he’s “I can excuse [everything harmful], but I draw the line at calling me fatass or implying I fuck” He dishes out sexual insults but he can’t take them.

- he ate the dick ice cream later without complaint because free ice cream is free ice cream: dick-shaped doesn’t really matter if it’s not actively being discussed. He’d probs eat it if it landed on the floor. (If I was offered free garlic bread but it was dick-shaped and no one was talking about sex in that moment, or telling me to go eat a dick, I’d probably definitely eat it, my 24/7 want for garlic bread outweighs my aversion to [sex-themed things + myself] “fuck it, it’s food”)

- It kinda came across to me that he was oblivious of how asking someone to go out with him while eating a dick shaped icecream would look to other people, which is funny to me. The unsynchronised blink says “head empty”

- This interaction could be interpreted as a crush, but I didn’t see it that way.(aroace goggles) I think he wants to be Wanted, like, in the only way he knows, which is materially. He has no positive connections with the other sins that we’ve seen so far, but Wants to be one of the cool kids, (the coolest kid, hog the attention etc) and Lev doesn’t actively shit on him like Ozzie and Bee, here. Lev’s indifference could seem like an allyship compared to Oz and Bee.

- He included Lev in his group of ‘like-minded superior elites’, considering himself better than/above fucking the lower class, maybe he thinks he’s above fucking at all? He could be the “[food] is better than sex” stereotype of ace.

It’s been interesting seeing what other people think!

(prev)

see I think there are a lot of ways to interpret anything, even characters intended to be allo and their actions, in an aro/ace manner

like yeah I still get being ace while talking about sexual stuff or sucking on dick shaped popsicles like I'd do that because I'm kind of an unserious person and find sex jokes funny even if I don't care to have sex with anyone!!! I can see characters doing that too!!

but like my thing is there is no reference to his asexuality through all of it, there are things that could be interpreted in an asexual way but there is nothing put into those scenes that the average viewer who doesn't know about the helluva pride art that mammon is saying all these asexually, it just looks like he's shaming oz and bee for fucking the lower class and not high class like "the rest of us", like of course maybe he fucks without/with little sexual attraction or maybe he was shaming them for fucking in general idk!

my thing isn't really that any of these disprove mammon being ace (because obviously regardless he is still canonically ace) but rather that I wish there was SOMETHING that called out to his asexuality, that even the average viewer could get, but like okay. the series isn't over yet of course so we could still get something in the future, I just wished his first appearance after the helluva pride art would allude to it in some way, but if they do allude to it in the future it'd be cool to have ace rep that's more favourable towards sex even if mammon isn't really uh the most positive portrayal of asexuality

(also having the "good" characters tell the ace character he's unfuckable and that he should keep fucking himself kindaaaaa doesn't sit right with me, I really don't want to read bad faith into mammon being made ace rep but it's but it gets kinda hard like this)

[ghostismybbygorl]

Okay heres how id vibe with cod characters

First off i think my call sign would be 'mouse'

Bc im small i can scurry around places pretty quick and i can escape out of a situation fast as well that or cause i sneeze like a mouse

Id be a sniper and demolition expert ngl

Price

Legit i would call him dad 24/7 not like in a daddy kind of way but like legit a father figure

he'd just roll his eyes and accept the fact that he has another kid he has to take care of

100% would smoke a cigar with him though id smoke those tiny cigarillos (my brother smokes cigars and ill smoke a little with him)

Gift giving is my love language so whenever id visit a new country id buy him a cigar from there

I have a hat like his and i WILL wear it around and mimick him

Id do the grunts and everything

I feel like id be on more missions with him than anyone else

Definitely would hang out in his office to keep him company and annoy the shit out if him

Soap

Dont let anyone near us

Like

AT ALL

wed be doing diabolical shit especially since im an arsonist and free will plus military grade explosives plus mouse and soap. have the fire department on speed dial

We'd be the reason price is greying faster

100% stealing his shirts and hoodies they'd be so big on me

Im gonna be up front with this one

We'd be fucking. I'm down bad for this man

We'd annoy the absolute piss out of ghost. He can handle one soap but TWO hes gonna need the backpack leashes for us

Quoting vines and tiktoks ON THE DAILY

Jam seshes in the car would be 100% perfect

We'd have a snap streak and its only stupid photos we take

Im recording everything he does i know damn well hes always in a silly goofy mood

Definitely in the blunt rotation

He's definitely the type to find my snack rations and eat them in front of me

Lots of hugs and kisses for this man

Except when he eats my snacks

Wed play fight all the time. When i'm really close with someone ill start "beating them up" (just be faking to fight you)

Ghost

Oh this poor poor man

Have sympathy on him because he's going to try to avoid every ounce of my being

And i wont stop that

Im giving him hugs left and right this man needs some love

I feel like once i start cracking dark humor jokes he'd open up to me

100% would be making the most absurd worst dad jokes and laughing about it

We'd text on the daily mostly just me sending him memes and him sending a 👍🏻or a 👎🏻

Im stealing his hoodies and his masks

Id probably piss him the fuck off to be honest

Id give him so many gifts to make him happy i know he crinkle's his eyes when he smiles

In the blunt rotation too but i think he'd just join for the company and not smoke that much

Id be over in his room if im overstimulated and i don't want to deal with people

Id have him proof read my fanfiction and he'd be my personal dictionary cause i cant spell for shit

Gaz

Did i say big brother vibes cause HE WILL BE MY BIG BROTHER

Id steal his hat so many times but like not in the ride a cowboy kind of way

Id buy him the most ridiculous hats and he will 100% wear them

I feel like he was a spondgebob kid so i know damn well we'll be quoting some of the lines

Part of the blunt rotation as well

When I'm upset he's the one id rant to

Definitely would vibe in a room without talking to him in general

He's most definitely the one to keep me from being unhinged

Totally would listen to murder podcasts together

So at my previous job we had to wear full body harnesses and we played this game called the carabiniere game where you take a carabiniere and hook it on to someone without them knowing and you see who can put the most on them

Soap, gaz, and i would be playing it 100% all the time with each other.

Id also grab them by the harness and pull them around or clip myself to them

Let me get a video from my old job and just put em here and id just explain

Okay back to writing

Laswell

Once again id call her mom and she's just gonna have to deal with it

Id definitely spend time with her outside of work (especially since she lives in maryland my family lives up there) which gives me more of a reason to visit her lol

Shopping sprees i feel like she's a frequent shopper at tj maxx and target

I also feel like she gives the best life advice so id come calling if im in a predicament

Okay so i am partially fluent in spanish, my god mother and best friend are Mexican so I've been around Mexican culture the majority of my life

Alejandro

definitely calls me niña or cariño

I feel like he'd roast my spanish and doesn't correct me if i say something wrong

100% my drinking buddy

I feel like he'd be very protective over me

Id be his date (platonically) and hed be mine to all the family gatherings

Fucking Mexican families are so much fun too. party my tia throws one and im there two shots of tequila in my hand listening and damcing to music

We'd text on the daily i feel like he'd frequently visit me and my family in the south as well he'd be the life of the party at my tia's parties

Rudy

He's the one that corrects my spanish and WILL only speak spanish to me until I understand whst he's saying

Insert him pointing to a random object and says it in spanish

I feel like we wouldnt bond much but we would you know?

I also feel like he gives great life advice

Graves

Id kick him in the balls

He's the type of guy i avoid or ruin his reputation

Absolutely despise him

Completely roast that motherfucker

Drop kick him

He pisses me off so much

Gives off leo and cancer energy

OHOHOHOHHH AND AT THE BETRAYAL SCENE DONT GET ME STARTED

Id 100% try to fight him even before Alejandro would

Tbh id probably get killed by one of his shadows bc of it

König

Sweet babe i would help him through an axiety attack

PIGGY BACK RIDES FOR SURE

id hug him every-time i see him

Definitely would say uppies and have him put me on his shoulders

He definitely wont see me at all ( im 5'4) so he would definitely have to crouch down to see me

His nickname would be bear cause of how big he is

I feel like when he'’s comfortable around you he’s very out going

I have no clue how to speak german but i will act like i do

He's in the blunt rotation as well

Thats all i got for now 😊

[abyssal-endling]

stupid kind of vent that i feel is relevant

i kind of hate being an older student in college but especially rn cause my main friend group has like, no concept of money or being oppressed for being gay. like they make jokes about "haha look out *pokes other friend* UH OH YOU'RE GAY" when I mention conversion therapy or gay panic laws. like . they have no concept of parents hating their kids for being gay so they don't understand why another group isnt out to their parents or that they can't just call their parents for help. a graduated friend makes 40k a year and they were like OMG thats a lot! and i had to explain that thats like, just above the poverty line in most states. that thats "making just enough to not get government help but one fuck up means you lose everything". that my brother making 84k is paycheck to paycheck with the ability to get maybe some extra snacks but he if he has an emergency he's probably absolutely fucked so every extra penny has to be squirreled away just in case. that i have to scramble every semester to pay the school cause i don't have anything to fall back on, or that i have no insurance for a while so i pay out of pocket for meds and i can't work but don't qualify for disability. its like ripping my fucking teeth out every day cause they want to do a group cosplay but want me to help make shit for free cause they don't understand that a specific task is like 2+ hours to complete, or are like "oh just buy this costume instead" and im like. I cannot fucking drop 50$ on this because I NEED TO BUY MY FUCKING MEDS. but they don't have those risks!!! they can go to disney for the holidays every year or go on vacation twice a year and buy a few 500$ items a few times a year.

or the constant "asthma's so stupid like just breathe" and knowing they're making fun of the fact that asthma is literally like "@ my lungs you had one job" but they don't HAVE asthma or breathing issues so i have to explain that im not fucking laughing when im watching my skin turn blue because i can't breathe and i have to desperately get as much albuterol in my lungs before i lose consciousness or i will literally die. i wanna fucking scream each week. "im tired because i chose not to eat and went to bed at 4am when i have an 8am cause i dont like when people tell me what to do so i'm going to be pissy with you" okay thats your own fucking fault then why are you getting mad at me for that. hits my head against the bricks literally fucking think. like shit im exhausted cause im a triple major and im DEI chair and im president of 3 clubs but i know that thats my fault so i set hours of "dont talk to me i need me time" and actually use my therapy hours for taking care of myself instead of fucking around and "gaslighting my therapist into thinking im okay and dropping everything on her in the last five minutes of my session"

they all think i should have shit handled financially and that i should be able to handle being vented to 24/7 because im older than them but the reality is NOT that. im not an elder queer im 26 and i want to die but most of all i want to NOT want to die. i want to enjoy my time at school!!!

tldr is that i try to surround myself with people who dont make me want to rip my eyes out but it doesnt work so im making more therapy appointments

[nonbinary-hacker]

Idk why I, a meme blog, have decided to get on a soapbox about this all of the sudden but you know what, here we go.

Why is it that when there’s any mention of various countries (frequently Britain and Canada, but others as well) in a critical context, or even in a joking sense, the first reaction is to jump to the point of Americans being stupid, fat, lazy, etc.? Don’t get me wrong, America has Problems, but no people are a monolith, and the US isn’t the only one with a bad track record. Yes, America is incredibly corrupt and only masquerades as a “free” country. I’m not making excuses for any of that. But to claim it’s the only one is revisionist and honestly irresponsible. In the spirit of openness, I’m gonna address things here so I don’t have to in the future.

Yes, America has a gun problem. But using “ha ha well at least our kids don’t get shot at school” as an escalation to friendly teasing isn’t the gotcha you think it is. Especially if it’s followed by the “well you shouldn’t have voted them in then”. Who. Who did I personally vote in. Was it when I was a toddler? Earlier? Let me know because if I was there in 1787 when the second amendment was drafted up then I’m sure scientists would be thrilled to know. And it also shows that you have no clue how our electoral system works, since the majority of voters can be in favor of something, only for it to be denied, or vice versa.

Yes, America has a problem as the tenth most obese country in the world. But a lot of that comes down to the lack of access to healthcare and healthy food in areas where fast food and less healthy alternatives are cheaper. “Well it’s not hard if you meal prep and budget right and buy organic and try this detox te-” shut the fuck up. Managing a minimum wage (or lower because that’s a thing) job with raising children, and feeding a family doesn’t always leave enough time to focus on healthy eating. And food deserts are shockingly common, especially in predominantly poor neighborhoods and for people of color.

Yes, America has a problem with healthcare. But in a country where people would rather take painkillers than go to a hospital when they have a serious illness because they can’t afford the bill, people are more afraid of the hospital than the actual injury.

Yes, the American education system isn’t great, but point to Montana on a map without looking it up. New Mexico. What’s the capital of New York? It’s not New York City. Our states are the size of most countries. As far as math and science, I’d argue that we can compete on a global scale. Ignorance comes from everywhere, not just here. I’ve also never actually met someone who thinks that London is a country, or that the sun turns off at night. I’m sure they exist somewhere, but there’s an equal chance they’re in your town as they are in mine.

Point is, we get it. I get it. I wrote this entire thing because I get it. But I’m also fucking tired. Using murdered children to win an internet battle when someone jokes about how you stole shit for a museum is,,,honestly just sad. Making jokes or talking about shit you know nothing about isn’t helpful to anyone. It’s not as easy as voting them out, or a glorious revolution. Expand the depth of your knowledge on the subject before you start shit. And check your own hands before you say shit about the blood on ours. We’re aware of the horrendous shit our country’s done. It’s broadcast 24/7. Just because yours isn’t on the global news doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

A lot of us are scared about the upcoming election, doubly so if we’re PoC, queer, disabled, etc. A lot of us are facing some very grim realities right now, and we’re terrified. We don’t need the constant reminders of how fucking bad we have it.

[pineappleciders]

hihi tyty for writing my request sometime could i also get the same rw omori characters with a sick reader?? like throwing up and shivering and stuff LMAO

TRIGGER WARNING: regurgitation

RW OMORI CHARACTERS WITH A SICK READER HEADCANONS// includes: AUBREY, SUNNY, KEL, HERO, MARI, and BASIL

AUBREY

she'll bring u canned cheap chicken noodle soup 

she'll rummage around in ur cabinet for pain/allergy meds, and she doesn't know a whole lot about medicine, so she'll probably have to ask you which ones work

she has to admit that she's a little grossed out when you vomit, but she'll hold a trash can by your bed for you any day

probably looks up 'how to help a sick person'

she'll check your temp with her hand a lot, and will check up on u very frequently. she gets anxious knowing you're alone and sick

she couldn't care less if she got sick from you. you're her biggest priority 

SUNNY

he'll definitely be asking MARI for help, because he's a bit lost

MARI and his mother always makes him smoothies or soup, and since he isn't the best at cooking, he'll be yet again be asking MARI for help

other than panicking about you to his sister, he's very concerned 

seriously thinking about getting you to a doctor, even if you tell him it's just a cold

he'll place a trash can by your bed while you're sleeping

will spend most of his days at your house, because he really doesn't want to be away from you, esp not while you're sick

will find the snot and vomit stuff kinda nasty, but that doesn't stop him from being by your side 24/7

he can't help but worry that your condition would get worse. and if it did, he will be helicoptering you at all times

will have MEWO cuddle with u to keep you warm

KEL

he spent a lot of time outside as a kid, and that really built his immune system, so he really doesn't get sick very often

and when he does, HERO is always there to help him, so he's never really taken care of someone who's sick

if you ask for like pepto bismol or cough medicine or something, he'll come back to your bed with a fucking popsicles or some shit

all jokes aside, he does worry about you a lot, esp since he doesn't feel like he can help you much

will most certainly ask HERO for help

he doesn't find your sniffles, coughs, or vomit gross! after all, he doesn't wash his hands

will roll you like a pig in a blanket if you start shivering (please be patient he doesn't understand fevers)

HERO

bet your ass that if you're sick, HERO is the first one to know

he will blend you grossly healthy smoothies, and encourages you to drink lots of water and gatorade

tucks you in with your stuffed animals every night

he will mainly be in your house the entirety of your illness

he is studying to be a doctor, so he will know what medicine will help!

will always ask if you need water, food, a heating pad, a fan... literally everything you could ever want

makes u eat your veggies 

he will do all your household chores for you. your laundry? done. sweeping? done. he will NOT let you leave your bed

MARI

she's similar to HERO, but she's a worrywart!

she likes to read you bedtime stories (no matter how much you try to tell her you aren't a child)

she hums soothing songs and holds your hand

she'll even spoon feed u!! u are getting the baby treatment when MARI's around

she will always drop by to see how you're doing, and will ask for updates from your parents to see how you're doing

is perfectly okay with getting sick for you (it's unlikely she will though because she has quite the immune system)

she likes to make you breakfast in bed, but you probably won't be able to keep it down, so she opts for soup and crackers

constantly asking if you're comfortable

will go grocery shopping for you 

and buys a shit ton of fruit

she cares about u a lot

BASIL

he worries a lot!!

will constantly check your temperature and bring you fresh water

gives you flowers and drawings to make you feel better

asks the rest of the group to come visit you

he doesn't keep his distance but he doesn't get sick somehow??

makes u soup and crackers, and encourages you to eat your veggies so you recover faster

probably visits you in bed/at home once or twice a day, and the two of you look through the photo album together (he'll end up cleaning it if u sneeze on it)

very concerned when you cough violently, and gives you something like a lollipop to suck on after you drink cough syrup because he knows how terrible it tastes

he'll give you a soft blanket his grandmother made him and will personally fan u if u get hot

afterwards, he tells you to take your vitamins and don't get wet so u don't get sick again!! after all, he misses u dearly when you're stuck at home

[veenxys]

「BNHA Boys as your older brothers」

⤷ Bakugou

honestly, he takes a lot of advantage of being the big brother.

like he wouldn’t hesitate to pull the older brother card when he wants to win an argument or get his way...

anyway, you tease each other 24/7

and you look like two kids when you're together: fighting over the last piece of cake, arguing about random shit, competing all the time...

but he also cares about you a lot!

he will never admit it or show it of course, but he loves you so much and would die for you

but what he demonstrates is that he hates you and will kill you any second

⤷ Deku

he always wants to know everything that's going on in your life, no matter what it is: he wants to know!!

always praises you and he knows very well how to improve your day

and he loves poking your cheeks when you smile

share his food with you

loves giving you advice, even if you don't follow any of them :b

crazy theories at 2 am

he always makes a thousand plans to have fun with you, but in the end you're lying on the couch while watching some bad movie on netflix

⤷ Kirishima

ok this boy wants to protect you from the world because he thinks you're so cute! everything you do makes him lean over to squeeze you :’)

he loves to make you laugh and does everything to see your smile!!

oh and he loves to tickle you too

he also likes to spoil you a lot

like, if you tell him you want something to eat, he'll instantly buy it for you and come home with the biggest smile ever

many inside jokes oml

hypes you up whenever you go out, helps you pick out an outfit, will take pictures of you and you’re friends...

you are always together, even without talking to each other while doing separate things: you need to be together!

⤷ Todoroki

honestly this boy is an angel

he's always looking out for you: bringing you an extra jacket when you go out together, calling you to eat soba, bringing you your favorite food when you're busy

and he always defends you and is on your side for anything

he's a great listener and very loyal, so you can always call him when something happens: he never asks questions and always does his best to help you

he gives all of your boyfriends/girlfriends the side eye until he gets to know them better, he won't let you date anyone less than the best! (because it's what you deserve)

⤷ Denki

my god denki would be the best brother ever

you would have so many inside jokes that absolutely no one understands your type of humor

you talk to each other in stan twitter language, yknow?

and as I said: nobody understands anything!!!

he's playful 99% of the time, but he's also very protective

you guys play rock, paper, scissors to solve everything. who has better quirk? rock beats scissors. who’s going to pay for dinner? paper beats scissors: denki get your wallet out rn.

stealing each other’s clothes 24/7

and you guys always do shit together, like always

I don't think there would be a single time you went out together that would be normal, there would always be some shit

and your parents will never know.........

⤷ Tamaki

you have a very close relationship and tell each other everything

whenever he's frustrated or sad, you're the first person he calls to complain about it because he knows you won't judge him

the absolute highlights of his day are the times he gets to talk to you btw!!

he always supports you in any decision you make

he will always be by your side

your happiness = his happiness

he does everything to make you feel good and happy <3

⤷ Shinsou

quietly supportive!!!!

you don't talk much but you know you can count on each other for whatever you need

and he knows exactly what to do to brighten your day

he is a great listener and always supports you in any decision you make

also likes to send you random memes at 3 am

like, you talk all night long and go a week without talking, and the cycle repeats :D

- 🏷 tags! @1nterbad, @togasbloodbag, @anarchythedork, @blossominglark, @mhasimp666, @sweetlilhoneybunny, @gluchie, @pasteldaze, @call-an-ambulance-but-not-for-me , @insomniacwreck, @kleeixe, @yesuraloser, @glamuxxbabe, @luluwiie, @drownedbytears, @kitkozume, @onewsblue, @mikaelatp, @crustycashmeresweater, @viper-mxxn, @goldenbby7, @racistareversa

• masterlist • taglist form •

[thrillridesz]

the boyz as dads

a/n: idk why i suddenly thought of doing this but lemme know if you guys wanna see more of these kinda stuff!!

sangyeon

the dad that tries really hard to be strict but isn’t

melts the moment his kid pouts and makes this face :(

he does discipline them but it’s easy to win him over sometimes 

but once he's really pissed off, they better watch out

as a dad, I feel would be really big on teaching his children how to respect others and to be polite

i mean yeah, most dads do try to teach their kids that

but i just think it’s going to be something he really emphasises

he’s the leader of tbz so he’s obviously very used to tolerating the shenanigan of 10 man childs (children? idk)

he would be great at taking care of the kids (penguin dad)

regularly buys stuff for them, anything they want, he gets

100% dad and daddy material

jacob

seems very lenient 

but is actually not

he doesn’t want to spoil them

the angelic side of him is reserved for his partner

he can be very firm and unyielding when it comes to rules

may be lowkey terrifying

but will never cane his children or even think of laying a finger on them

prefers to talk things out with them

would play music or sing to his children as they sleep

younghoon

probably gonna get bullied by his kids

is too much of softie when it comes to them 

will want to keep feeding them and then get upset when they reject his offer for more bread

‘the kids aren’t eating. is something wrong? aren’t they supposed to be growing children?’

the very awkward dad who tries his best at parenting

but fails though he looks cute failing

cannot bring himself to scold his children 

so they will always run to him to defend them when his partner does the scolding

is almost always on the kids’ side

hyunjae

the cool, sassy dad

roasts his kids like no tomorrow

the kinda dad that is bros with his children

he gets them, or at least tries to see things from their perspective

believes that in order to get close to your children or be able to get through to them, you have to be their friend

he’s no tryhard lol 

like literally he’s probably the kind of dad that his kids’ friends would envy for being so chill 

unexpectedly strict when he needs to be

but other than that, he’s on casual terms with his kids

juyeon

ngl i do think ju might be the dad that unwittingly neglects his kids

mans such a workaholic

he might spend more time earning money and going to work than actually spending time with his children

he just wants to give them a better life

he tries so hard but doesn’t realise that all they want is for him to be there with them

realises that he doesn’t actually know them all that well

so he tries to get to know them and gets angry at himself for not knowing their favourite food, colours etc

loves his children so much he'd work to de*th for them

kevin

another dad that everyone else’s kids envy

very very giving and generous to his children

always asks his kids how their day was

the dad that his kids can actually confide in 

trusted to keep secrets

doesn’t really discipline them, like scold them

but prefers to let them learn by themselves, think things through themselves

can talk pop culture with his children 

nobody ever fights over the radio in the car because he has tastes

chanhee

might seem a bit detached as a dad

the kinda dad that you want to impress

unknowingly puts a lot of pressure on his kids because they really want to impress him 

without knowing just being themselves and being happy is enough for him

could also be a bit of a tiger dad?

he pushes his children to be the best versions of themselves

wants them to excel

high standards but doesn’t know it/think they’re high

changmin

the dad that absolutely dotes on children!! 

will love taking care of them, talking to them

might even quit his job to devote himself to them 24/7

will not hesitate to eliminate anyone 

who bullies or talk shit about his kids

this man is SCARY when he’s angry

but no matter how scary or angry

he’d never take it out on the kids

even when he’s scolding them, he doesn’t take himself super seriously

his kids try to play dad pranks on him but somehow he always seems to know what’s up

haknyeon

DAD JOKES OMG 

lowkey might be the kinda dad that his kids will be embarrassed to be seen in public with

BECAUSE OF ALL THE CRINGY JOKES HE’D MAKE

when given the duty to take care of the kids

he’s the best dad in the world

lets them go wild

‘you wanna make mashed potato smoothies? let’s go’

yes man when it comes to his kids

tries to be hip and figure out what his kids are into so he can relate to them

sunwoo

the dad that his kids look up to

most supportive dad in the world

videos (almost) every single moment and makes annual family videos

goes to their kids’ every concert, game, race etc

gets jealous if the kids prefers his partner instead of him

then proceeds to try to bribe them to his side

the dad that tries to plan outings every other week 

even if finances are running short

because just seeing his kids happy is enough for him to give it all

eric

the dad that absolutely cannot parent but is somehow a parent

when asked to take care of the kids

he’s a blubbering, panicky mess

gullible so his kids like to prank him a lot

might be the type of dad that thinks acronyms like lol means ‘lots of love’

and embarrasses himself

very lovable dad

his kids may be mischievous

but they’d never cross the line on him because he’s too precious a dad

[mothra-mcyt]

☾ Dream SFW Alphabet ☽

!No Warnings!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He's not that good with words so usually he shows affection through gifts. Most of the time he loves to give you expensive gifts but when you tell him that he doesn't always need to buy you expensive gifts he starts giving you smaller gifts.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Having him as a best friend would honestly be so fun. Long late night gaming sessions or speedruns would be a normal occurrence if you're up for it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

His love language may not be physical touch but that doesn't mean he doesn't like cuddling. When you cuddle with him and your head is laying on his chest he likes to play with your hair. When you're spooning will have one arm under your head as a pillow and the other one on your stomach

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I feel like he's alright with cooking and really likes to try out new things when it comes to food. Isn't that good at cleaning though but will gladly help if you explain him how.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Would think about doing it for a long time it's definitely not a sudden decision from him. Would do it in person and tries his best to make it sound like it wasn't your fault. If you're really sad it will break his heart and he will try his best to comfort you.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I think he would need some time to think about it because marriage kind of a big deal. Also first asks you if you even would want to get married someday or if you don't really like marriage or its concept.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He isn't afraid to voice his opinion but makes sure that he's nice and gentle with his words so that he doesn't hurt you in any way emotionally. He's also very gentle with physical touch at first slowly wrapping his arms around you whenever he hugs you but after some time when he sees that you feel bad he'll pick you up and give you a tight hug.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes hugs because it means he can make you feel safe. Likes to hug you from behind, lay his head on yours and wrap his arms around your front. If the situation is really intimate he will put on hand on your back, the other one on your head patting your hair and giving you a forehead kiss.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I feel like he'd only say it if you say it to him first. For him saying those words don't really have a high value because he likes to show his loves in other ways.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I feel like it would take him a lot to get jealous but if he is he's really protective and kinda possessive. Will wrap and arm around your waist, give you a long kiss and glare at whatever person that made him jealous

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Most of the time his kisses are really pationate and make you loose your breath. But if the situation is more intimate his kisses are softer gentle. Also really likes giving you forehead kisses if you're shorter than him.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

I feel like he'd either be really lost or just have fun with them. Whatever they're playing with he wants to play with it too. You leave him alone for 1 hour with kids and suddenly he becomes one of the children.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

I feel like he's not a morning person so when you two wake up he'll just hold you close to him. This is either spent in comfortable silence or with talking about whatever you guys wanna talk about. Or he will just tease the shit out of you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Usually the nights are spent with playing video games together usually speedrunning. If you're too tired to play with him but still want to be near him he'll let you cuddle him while laying in his lap. A smile appears on his lips whenever he looks down at you and sees you looking cute while sleeping.

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I feel like he doesn't trust people very easily and doesn't really like appearing vulnerable so it'll take him a while to start opening up to you. But when he opens up to you he says everything at once.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I feel like he gets annoyed pretty easily but not angry. It's also never about you. Usually it's about a video game or not being able to do something at firsy try.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I feel like he wouldn't be able to remember your birthday or your favorite colour but remembers very specific things about you. For example he remembers when the age when you learned to swim or your childhood trauma but doesn't remember what you said 5 minutes ago.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It was probably when he first introduced you to his chat and the people on the dream smp. As soon as he introduced you Tommy called Dream and screamed at him on why he has a partner. He said that you're better of without Dream and better with him as a joke

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I feel like he's very protective over you but not possesive. If he sees you getting made uncomfortable by someone he'll wrap an arm around your shoulder or waist.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts a lot of effort into gifts and every day tasks because he likes to help you. Depending on your preferences he puts more or less effort into dates and anniversaries.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He tends to overwork himself and forget everything around him and if you try to get him to stop he will sometimes react a litte annoyed but as soon as he realises how exhausted and tired he really is he will apologise and take a small break from work to hang out with you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He's somewhat concerned about his looks but also not that much. When he's concerned about his looks it's not really becayse he's worried about other people's opinions but more because he wants to look good for himself.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I feel like he can get very needy and is very clingy so if you're gone for some time for whatever reason he would feel very incomplete.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He asked one of your friends for your favorite type of flower so he can always have those flowers standing around at your house in a vase

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

A partner that can get very jealous when he's only hanging out with his friends. Because those are his friends and he just wants to hang out with them but if you already get jealous because you don't get to be with him 24/7 then you're just not good for him :/

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He tends to speak or murmur in his sleep which has lead to a lot of funny conversations between you and sleeping him. And he's also a very deep sleeper so if you're cuddling with him then you can prepare for not being able to get up for a long time.

Masterlist

[dirtycccat]

the demon bros+ undateables showing their love

thought about this for 5 min then had to write it out so enjoy

lucifer

first off you notice he treats you differently

and by differently i mean like you’re his favorite child  sibling

you get away with anything??? and he’s softer with you than with the others (which is canon)

then you see that?? he keeps buying you stuff you said you wanted when he was present

and you’re ofc impressed

but you’re more impressed by how open he’s around you

he’ll leave most of his walls down around  you

which means you’ll get to experience unfiltered lucifer

he’ll laugh around you more, make dumb dad jokes, nap with his head in your lap, complain drunkenly about his work and bros, give you sloppy cheeks and forehead kisses

you find it rly cute though

if you’re in the human world he’ll 100% take this chance to send you beautifully written letters asking you how you are and leaving some verses that reminded him of you on the back like a 19th century vampire

“dear mc, how is your life? mine is filled with woe and unease since i do not  have the light of my life around anymore...anyway here’s a poem about being horny and alone by a 18th century romantic author hope to see you soon, xoxo lucifer”

you try to respond in the same way and send him memes on the back instead of  poetry (or real poetry depends on your mood)

mammon

protective of you 100% will throw hands with anyone that even glances weirdly your way

but also wants to show you off? like look at this human!!! this is MY human!!!

gives you random thoughtful gifts that reminded him of you

wants to be around you 24/7 so he invites you to all the events that he thinks you’ll like

you wanna party? perfect. you wanna go on a weird ghost stories tour around the city? cool. you wanna waltz in one of those old people parties? he’s already reserved two tickets. you just wanna lay around and nap? he’s already on your lap.

it doesn’t matter if you’re in a romantic relationship or not this man WILL serenade you outside your window

rapunzel style with an acoustic guitar or with a boombox like a rebel 80s kid

anyway here’s toxic by britney spears babe this is for YOU

levi

considers you his bff ofc

but also at first he’s still really awkward around you and doesn’t really know what to do for you and feels bad thinking only you do things for him

until you reassure him you enjoy just being around him so it’s fine

he blushes and starts inviting you more to his room to game/ watch stuff

at some point he starts buying two tickets to all concerts he goes to and invites you along

but also? he asks you what you’re into and starts marathoning your favorite animes/ movies/ series so he can talk with you abt them

you feel really moved that he’d do that for you???  like??? bruh...

your relationship is basically friends respecting each other and wanting to know each other the best through their passions even if it means getting into some weird shit

it’s rly wholesome tho

if you’re romantically involved he’ll totally do roleplay as your favourite character and you do the same for him and it’s really cute

also imagine: artistic collabs. you make fanart together??? you can program games together???? you do cosplay together??? the possibilities...

satan

he’ll hate to be compared to his dad brother but he does show how much he trusts you by showing his unguarded side too

when he first talked about lucifer without the filter of his nice guy persona you were pretty shocked

like he was really going at it

but then you realize? he’s just like that when he’s comfortable

and it’s not all mean spirited, he just has,,, a strong personality and a lot of opinions about stuff (which you sometimes share with him)

but you also found out it’s really fun to gossip with satan

since he knows all the juicy gossip from his multitude of ties (he’s sharing the title of gossip queen with asmo that’s why they get along so well tbh)

also if you even find a teacher you hate he’ll tell you all their embarrassing moments to make you feel better

he also recommends you books and poems and sends you quotes that made him think about you

so you sure as heck don’t need to buy books while you’re in the devildom bc he’ll buy you an entire library 

asmo

compliments you without comparing you to himself which is the highest compliment he can give

like mammon he’s more into the showing everyone his favorite human around while also protecting them

he’ll take you to his parties and gatherings as a guest of honor, he’ll make you meet all kinds of people and open up opportunities for you

he’ll be the one that pampers you

you’d think lucifer is the sugar daddy of the family but nope it’s asmo

he’ll buy you cute clothes, shoes, beauty products everything that he saw and imagined would look bomb on you

if you’re not into clothes he’ll buy you art supplies, books, anything you want but he’ll still probably  buy you at least some clothes he thinks are cute

if you’re romantically involved,,,, he’ll buy other toys for you as well which you can try together wink wink

beel

cooks for you

no questions asked when it’s his turn to cook he’ll think about what YOU would like to eat first before making something

which is??? really touching coming from beel

and also means sometimes he’ll make the same dish three weeks in a row and annoy the others while you just get excited bc ??? you get to eat your favourite dish??? again and again???? 

thank you beel you truly know how to touch someone’s insides

also opens up to you and talks to you about his fears and thoughts

expect to get 4 am msgs from beel if he had a nightmare

which would end up in you coming to cuddle him (and belphie also joins sometimes)

which tbh is that even a thing you can complain about?

belphie

is more baby less murder when you’re around

naps on your lap, naps on your shoulder, naps with you anywhere

but also let’s you nap on HIM

besides being soft around you he actually opens up to you too

and talks to you about his traumas and issues

which he has in common with his twin what can you do

so you have weekly cuddle parties with him and beel where you talk about shit and actually make them resolve their issues instead of just,,, ignoring them

also if you’re into each other you probably tease each other and flirt really shamelessly in public while the others cringe and or blush at your language

are you a cowboy? because i want you to ride me all night 

simeon

writes you fancy letters with poetry like lucifer, but his ink is scented and  his envelopes contain pressed flowers more often than not

if you’re together you even do letter sexting if you’re into it

creates characters based on you in his stories (which you don’t believe even if levi points out you that the two of you are kinda similar)

asks you to spend more and more time with him and luke

invites you to picnics, reads to you while your head is in his lap, cooks you snacks

if you’re a theatre kid too,,, you do musical love confessions too,,, sometimes by just reciting the lyrics of really popular musical theatre songs in a death panned voice

cough a heart full of love from les mis but read like poetry through the fence of the house of lamentation cough

asks you cryptic shit hannibal style like “tell me mc what does it mean to want to be consumed whole by another? is it a desire to become something bigger than yourself or is it related to our need to become one with our loved one like some cultures pointed out before?”

you’re either really into his cryptid talk or just roll your eyes and smooch him

diavolo

invites you around to his castle all the time

sometimes he even pulls some weird shenanigans just to make you spend more time with him

expect tea parties with him luci and barbatos in no particular combination

gives you compliments 24/7  even in public

remember how he treats lucifer? he’s that for you too but he’s learned from the lucifer experience to focus on complimenting you as a person more than how you look

if you’re into pda he’ll touch you all the time

if you ever wanted a gomez - morticia romance, here’s your goth big titty himbo that’s way too full of love

if you’re lovers expect to be pampered, i feel like? he doesn’t buy a lot of gifts and such because he’s probably tired of material things but he will make time in his busy schedule for you and spend a lot of time with you

which means more to him than gifts

(we will buy you anything you ask though)

barbatos

actually talks with you about stuff outside rad, the demon bros and diavolo

also invites you to alone time tea or wine time

where you drink and gossip

if satan and asmo are the crowned queens of gossip barbatos is the king of gossip but he doesn’t share his knowledge to most people so nobody knows what he knows

but he knows,,,, a lot

and not only that he knows a lot about people nowadays,,, but imagine the things he knows about like historical figures and such,,, 

so prepare for story time with barbatos where he  talks about how oscar wilde was almost summoned by drunk inccubi during a party once, or how  diavolo cried when he was a kid because he sent a letter to caravaggio asking him to paint his portrait and he said no

also if you get drunk together expect really energetic talkative barbatos destroying DESTROYING everyone (except diavolo ofc)

“lucifer please i once saw you crying because you thought diavolo was ignoring you when you actually forgot to press the send button to your messages ”

if you’re romantically involved diavolo will always be first in his hear but that just means you’ll have to invite diavolo along on your dates which  just means you’ve got a new lover and a new bff

solomon 

he invites you on all kinds of wacky adventures

you  visit witches, go to weird magical forest parties or orgies if you want, you go travelling the mountains for rare herbs

it’s like you’re faust and he’s mephisto  haha the irony and he’s showing you another side of the world you never knew 

ofc the others know about all this but??? they thought it’s normal and didn’t even consider you know nothing about it

but solomon knows what it was like to be just a human

and since he likes you he empathizes with your situation

he also make you meet all kinds of people

since he has 72 contracts and hundreds of years of doing wack stuff he must know some interesting people

and now his friends are your friends 

i feel like romantic solomon would be just him?? but less shady with you especially since now you understand him better 

but also he’ll probably bring you weird shit from his alone expeditions

did you ever want the tears of a mermaid? a carnivorous plant that feeds on emotions? a crying portrait? no? well too bad because now you have a room full of weird items

...that you love and treasure thank you very much

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[bukojuiice]

rose-colored boy

ೃ pairing: (eren jaeger x fem! reader)

ೃ  tags: college/modern au, fluff, humor, love at first sight cliché, mikasa is your cute little sister, armin, sasha, jean, and connie are your besties, and eren is a himbo who works hard and has terrible friends.

ೃ warnings: strong language and mild suggestive content

ೃ part 1/??? of my (eren x reader) college au!

ೃ word count: 3000 words

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist 

ೃ This is my very first snk x reader fic! so i hope you bear with some errors! qwq 

i’ve been following the anime ever since it was released in 2013, and this is the first time i’m  going to be writing for it.  this month’s manga chapter really took me out so why not channel my sadness thru writing an fluff! eren fic? 🤧 i hope you enjoy either way!

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!)

ೃ  in which (Y/N) (L/N), 20, still in school, and regretfully-unregretfully-her little girl scout sister's assistant, meets eren jaeger in an embarrassing too innocent door-to-door cookie sale whilst a humiliating party was going on.

cookies, suspicious maybe-maybe-not pot brownies, meddling little sisters and friends, “oh my god they were roommates” vine on replay 24/7, homework, tears, and fairy lights bring them together.

“I’m going to enter now.”

“Ahhh yes, please!”

“Shut up, please.” Eren muttered to himself as he tossed and turned around in his bed, but still couldn’t get to sleep. “When will they ever stop doing this?” Why did Eren’s next-door roommate and his girlfriend have to do this five times a day? They had a lot of stamina for 21-year-olds who didn’t have anything better to do.

Eren’s thoughts eventually brought him to his parents.

His parents- did they even exist?

For pretty much 14 years of Eren’s life, they had been out of town or out of the country. His older brother, Zeke, blonde, bespectacled, tall, and sometimes too far up his own ass older brother who Eren is able to confide in from time to time, recently got a girlfriend whom he’s hopelessly in love with (they’re even thinking about getting married which isn’t really a problem since the girl is genuinely nice to his older brother so Eren is good with her.), so… things in the family had been a bit rough and busy to say the least.

Communication with his parents wasn’t always the best.

Eren would study late at night back when he was seven, because no one bothered to help him with homework. Along with the fact that he wasn’t the brightest kid in class, and he knew that very well, but he had ambition and he was determined to make it big in the world. He focused more on sports, particularly Soccer in middle school and high school, and tried to balance that with his studies.  After being granted a Sports Scholarship from Shigashina University, Eren decided to rent and share a flat, living with his batchmates who he met at a mixer party (before Uni started as this whole meet and get to know each other kind of thing) and whom he was so quick to call his ‘friends’, just so that he could get out of the hellhole that was his own house.

But things turned out much worse than expected.

Eren thought that the ‘College Life’ was to focus more on pursuing your future career and make a name for yourself but… it was the other way around.

He thought that after Freshmen year, everyone would take things seriously. Sure, have some drinks, get wasted after finals, or have house parties from time to time. But he was unfortunately, dragged into the wrong crowd. After attending around 5 parties in the first few months of being generalized as one of the infamous and pompous freshman archetypes present in every university, he called it a year and spent the rest of his nights doing homework, projects, playing video games, staying at the school soccer field until 10PM while his roommates were probably smoking crack and not caring about the number of units they needed to take for each of their goddamn subjects.

 He was ~living the life~ and now that he regrets most of the decisions he made in freshman year, the only option that he has left was to wait until his third year and move to a different apartment.  

 Now, here he was, Sophomore year, nearing the end of the semester, and very much eager to get the hell out of here and also study for his upcoming finals on Constitutional Law II, as his professor, Mr. Erwin Smith, was going to throw hands if one of his students score below average on the exam.

 “EREN MICK JAEGER! BROOOO!” Eren winces when he hears the shrieky and annoying voice of his flatmate Thomas Wagner, calling out to him. “Wanna go and party with us?” Eren smiles halfheartedly, shaking his head, “Ah, no thanks. I have a game tomorrow and finals coming up on Thursday.” Thomas smirked and wrapped his arm around Eren, “Oh fuck that, live the college life ya spoon.”

“No, really I have to study.”

Thomas frowned and groaned, “Oh god, you’re such a killjoy. Fine, if that’s what you want. Don’t blame us if we tell you to buy some beer down the block.”

Eren cracked an obviously fake laugh and pushed Thomas away from him, “You’re an ass. That only happened once and that was when we first met. Don’t you even dare try to ask me to buy you shit again.”

“Woah. Woah. Woaaaaaah. That was a joke Eren. Loosen up will you?” Thomas raises an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by the brunette’s sudden aggressiveness. He hums Moves like Jaeger by Maroon 5 as a way to spite Eren whilst passing by him down the staircase.

The brunette shook his head, tying his hair into a bun carelessly and sprinting into his room without uttering another word.

Eren just wanted to study. He really did.

Instead, his roommates, all of them, mind you, were all partying in the lounge and the music was too loud and Eren was too annoyed.

They did manage to bring him out and make him stay in the kitchen where he mindlessly glared at anyone who came in. He sighed and tapped his pen restlessly amongst the insane amount of books on the table.

There was a knock.

His roommate, Floch, came in the kitchen with his girlfriend who Eren couldn’t even name with all the women he has brought into the apartment. She was hanging onto his arm and giggling. Floch’s eyes were red and his speech very slow and lazy. "Eren!" he said with a sly grin.

Eren raised an eyebrow, shooting him an irritated look. "What now Floch? Are you here to tell me to take a shot again?" The ginger-haired’s girlfriend giggled once again and kissed Floch’s cheek. Floch laughed and swatted her away, though he missed by a long shot. "Someone's at the door," a thumb pointing to the den. "wouldchumind ge'in it?" another giggle. The girl nodded sloshily. "Yesss! Erenieee get 'em door, please. Be a dearrrrr."

Eren frowned and stared at them menacingly, earning no reaction from the two as they were mad drunk. "You were just in the den," Floch’s eyes widened. "My lovey wovey-we was in the den?" His girlfriend’s mouth went into an O. "Di'nt notice tha'!"

Eren sighed and stood up. He miraculously got through the throng of bodies and to the front door. "Yes?" he called out exasperated, not knowing who was outside.

"Do you want cookies?"

Eren turned and looked to see a little raven-haired girl, a girl scout no less, a blonde-haired boy pulling on a trolley who looked significantly shorter than him, wearing rimmed glasses, and an overall appearance whom his “friends” would immediately label as a nerd they had to be a few feet away from if they saw him and lastly, a girl who looked very tired and very done with life.

Beautiful (h/c)-colored hair, her eyes looked like the starry night sky, twinkling as he catches her gaze and a smile that looked forced, but warm all the same.  

A girl who was just absolutely fucking gorgeous.

Eren was captivated. His heart was beating like crazy and he could feel his ears turn red. He would make a fool of himself if he looked red as a tomato right now.

"Um," The girl peeked inside and grimaced, squeezing the hand that was her little sister's shoulder and catching Eren’s gaze. "Mikasa, I don't think these kinds of guys would want cookies."

“Unless they're pot cookies,” Eren almost said. Mikasa pouted and widened her eyes at Eren.

The older girl crouched down and frantically covered her little sister’s eyes. "Nopenopenope, Mi, don't pull that on him."

"But (Y/N)!"

(Y/N).

Her name was (Y/N).

Eren smiled sincerely (for the first time today) and leaned back inside to the drawer by the door to grab the extra cash he and his roommates put there for emergency pizza and stuff. "You know what? You're absolutely brilliant at selling cookies. I'll take one."

Mikasa smiled back at him cheekily and tugged her older sister’s hand. "See, (Y/N)?! He wants some! Go get 'em!”

The raven-haired girl then turned to the blonde teen, practically jumping up and down. “Armin look! We sold another one!"

“We did!” The boy who was apparently named Armin, clapped his hands together, then gave the little girl a high five. “You’re a natural at this Mikasa!”

(Y/N) looked at Eren, then Mikasa, and sighed. She grabbed a bag from the trolley Armin was dragging around and pulled out a box of cookies. Eren grabbed them slowly from her, their hands almost touching as he gave (Y/N) a small smile. The (h/c) girl blushed lightly, though not visible enough for the brunette to notice.

"Hope to see you again!" Eren called out when the siblings said their thank you's and bid farewell.

And, this time, even for the slightest moment, Eren’s serotonin levels were going straight through the roof. His heart was still beating loudly, almost in sync with the trash music his roommates were blaring on the speakers. and for a moment, even just for a moment. 

He felt genuine happiness that he hasn’t felt in a very long time.

 The three of you continue to walk animatedly, now that the coast was clear and the guy from earlier wasn’t within earshot, your blonde friend just had to break the silence.

 Armin smiles, pushing his glasses up to the crook of his nose. “(Y/N), you did see how he looked at you right?” The blonde chuckles softly, catching his best friend off guard.

 You blinked. “Him?” You try to stop yourself from smiling, blushing profusely. “Geez Armin, I don’t even know his name yet.”

 “I’ll bet you 100 bucks that he goes to our Uni.”

 “Even if he does, it’s not like we’ll talk to him or anything. Judging from the place he lives in and the people he was hanging out with, we’re in two completely different worlds.” You shook your head in denial, holding Mikasa’s hand, your interlocked arms swinging playfully. Armin gives you a knowing look in response.

 Mikasa continued to wave back at the boy whom they had just sold cookies too. (Y/N) looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Wasn’t he nice (Y/N)?” Mikasa asks her older sister. (Y/N) returned her sister a small smile, “He was.”

 "I hope we see him again!"

"I'm sure we will."

 The day of Eren’s dreaded finals finally arrive.

He has prepared tirelessly for this. Hours upon hours of hard work. But, before he finally gets his well-deserved sleep, he has a few more hours to cram and absorb more knowledge for his exams.

So, what better way to do so than head straight to the library as soon as it opens at 6 AM?

This time, no one was going to bother him. No annoying roommates and no distractions.

Eren heads over to a table near the coffee and snack machines. He puts down his bag on a seat next to him, and begins to study once again. Looking through the course materials and the lessons that he still didn’t quite understand. Eren was so absorbed with studying and relying on his gut feeling that no other student in this university would think of going to the library at 6 AM on the day of finals… then he’s wrong. Very wrong. 

 “Sasha, should you even be eating mashed potato this early in the morning?” Armin asks the brunette worriedly, a huge tone of concern in his voice.

“Armin! Don’t chu worry! I ate heavy breakfast! Bacon, Eggs, and Toast! Did you not see me in the kitchen!?” She reassures her blonde friend, continuing to scoop up the mashed potato on a reusable cup.

“Liar.” Connie hissed, narrowing his eyes. “I was awake since 4 AM. Not once did I see you sneak into the kitchen until (Y/N) woke you up.”

“Atatata. Can we… stop with the negative vibes for a second?” Jean tries to become the mediator by holding his hands up against his two friends who were about to start an argument. “It’s finals week. We have to keep a clear mind, body and soul-“

“Jean, you know that’s BS.” You yawn widely, still practically half-asleep.

“Oh, come on! Can’t you just let me be positive just this once!? If we fail this exam I’m going to blame you!“

The five of you continue to talk mindlessly on the way to the library. Connie pushes the glass door open, very much excited to have this huge library all to yourselves.

Until…

There was someone already there.

Your eyes immediately come into contact with Eren’s. His radiant jade eyes staring into yours, mouth practically agape, his hands holding on to wooden chopsticks as the hot air of instant ramen breezes through his face.

“Oh?” Connie blinks. “Guess we aren’t the first ones here then.” He whistles.

“(Y/N)!” Armin nudges you in the arm in an attempt to tease you. “Guess your wish came true huh? We did see him again! By himself too!”

“W-what am I supposed to do exactly?” You turn to Armin, speaking in a hushed whisper.  

“Say thank you to him! Offer him to go on a boba date or something!”

“You got the Sasha seal of approval (Y/N)! He’s hot!” Sasha motions you a thumbs up and you can’t help but feel yourself already wanting to die of embarrassment.

The four of them slightly push you towards his table. With your friends cornering you like this, there was no way of escaping this.

All you had to do was talk to him and properly thank him for buying cookies from your little sister.

That was it.

No need for any extra ad-libs or poor and bad attempts of flirtation.

Just thank him (Y/N).

You can do this.

You breathe a hefty sigh then approach his table with confidence. The brunette continues to look up at you whilst turning the page of his reviewer that he wasn’t even looking at.

“Hi again! I just wanted to thank you properly for helping my sister and I, out the other day. Mikasa really appreciated the gesture you did for her, and she couldn’t stop talking about you to our parents since we saw you. You see, none of the other girl scouts want to be paired up with my sister because they think she’s an emotionless and monotonous freak. They’re really mean to her but she really wants to continue being a girl scout so my friend and I accompany her whenever she has to sell cookies!”

“It’s N-no problem!” Eren quickly replies, running a hand through his hair. “Why would they say such horrible things to your sister like that? Judging from the way she acted in front of me, she was quite the opposite. In a positive way of course! Those kids are just assholes who are intimidated because another girl their age is seemingly better than them.”

You giggle in response. “Thank you. I’ll tell Mikasa that you said that!” 

There was short silence for a few seconds until you realized that you forgot to say something. 

“Ah! I’m (Y/N) (L/N) by the way!”

“Eren.” He smiles, reaching his hand out to you for you to shake. You grip his strong and calloused hand firmly, and Eren could feel his ears turning red again while you were about to blush as red as a tomato.

You hear your friends snickering in the background and you took this as a sign to go back to your table. “I guess, I’ll see you around campus?” You ask, tilting your head. For, you actually really wanted to see him again after this.

“Yea! I’ll be seeing you!” He grins widely, watching you leave where he was seated. His smile then envelops into a frown as soon as you went away then he goes back to studying.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” Connie whispers loudly, calling you over by waving his hand. Why was this dunce being so painfully obvious? “Ask him if he’s looking for an apartment or if he wants to live with us!”

“Already!?” You ask in disbelief, a bit shocked by what Connie had just said. He scoots to the left, as you take a seat between him and Sasha. “Guys, you’ve known him for like… 3 minutes. Only Armin and I actually interacted with him before this.”

“He has to pass the vibe check first.” Jean shrugs, sipping on an iced expresso. “But, yeah, he does seem alright from a few feet away.”

“Come on (Y/N)! Ask him!” Sasha nods approvingly. “It’s weird that he’s studying alone like this while we’re in another table trying to remain unaware that he looks lonely as hell.”

“UMmMM… maybe he wants to study alone because that’s the only way he can focus? That’s a thing that normal people do, Sasha.” You remark sarcastically, trying to think up of more reasons to not approach him again.

Armin clears his throat, “Look, (Y/N), it won’t hurt to try right? Besides, don’t you feel a tiny bit sorry for him? He does seem lonely and you do have a crush on him so… more ways to interact with him right?”

Your shoulders slump and you breathe a defeated sigh. “Okay okay fine.” You make your way to Eren’s table again but before you do, you turn to your friends. “By the way, I don’t really have a crush on him just yet. I just find him cute okay?”

“Yeah yeah.” They say in unison as you continue to walk back to the brunette’s table.

“Hi again Eren!” You wave and try your best not to fumble or look painfully obvious that you were infatuated by him. He looks up and you try your best not to smile like a weirdo.

“Hm?” He hums.

“Would you like to come over to our table and study with us?”

To be continued.