#original member of the team of workers that was there when i started my job got dropped by yet another friend for no reason got a promotion

[house-in-the-backyard-trees]

Telling my new coworker about how excited I am for the mental breakdown I'm about to have about my birthday and how different my life was last year compared to now and he's like oh it can't be that bad what happened and I tell him and he goes "....oh"

[cupidkenji]

Doctor, Doctor, please listen!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Chubby!Fem!reader Cw; Tension (I tried), cursing, the smallest physical description of reader in the last portion (just mentions their stomach going over their pants), reader has scars from previous cases, rivals to lovers?, lmk if i'm missing smth Summary: 3 times you called him doctor, 3 times he wonders why. Disclaimer: Reader is always written with a chubby/bigger person in mind but I don't really ever describe their bodies that much cause it's x READER and every body has a different body <3 WC: 3,596 I am literally so obsessed with criminal minds somebody save my soul OBLIVOUS IDIOTS WHO WANT EACH OTHER MY BELOVED. Title from mad hatter by Melanie Martinez don't even @ me for that

1.

“...she will be an important part of making your team function quicker. We fought hard to get her here. I ask that you all treat her with respect and not make me intervene.” 

Strauss finished her introductory spiel with a familiar “mom-glare” towards the team, walking away once she finished her speech. Unfortunately, her departure left you standing alone in front of the most intimidating man you’ve ever seen and four of his team members. You had been practically still until now. You hated the pressure of everyone’s eyes on you, causing a general freeze response to the stress of a new team. Fawn, you thought, the newest addition to the fight or flight categories and also the lovely thing forcing you to practically disassociate in front of your new boss and co-workers. 

“Welcome, Dr. L/N. We’ve heard good things. I’m Aaron Hotchner, I supervise the team.” He was leaning on the table before he stepped forward to shake your hand as he spoke. “This is Emily Prentiss, Jenifer Jareau, Derek Morgan, and Doctor Spencer Reid.” He pointed towards the corresponding people as he spoke of them. “Agent Rossi is away right now, and you’ll meet our T.I. later…she’s been excited.” If you hadn’t been good at your job, you’re sure you would have missed the way his lips turned up slightly at the edges when mentioning the woman. He didn’t seem so scary anymore, more like a father of the team. You’d been expecting a drill sergeant - your last team leader could have given a bull a run for it’s money with how much aggression that guy had. You welcomed the rush of excitement you felt at the discovery, mentally shaking off the stiffness you were carrying. 

“I’m happy to be here, sir. I’ve heard good things about the team, too. Your boss seems to think highly of your capabilities.” You addressed the room as you spoke. Public speaking was a skill you were still trying to master, so you practiced whenever you could. 

Your statement earned a chuckle from the table. Nobody bothered to explain the reason. You figured it was too much history to sum up on the spot. Your eyes wanted to linger on Reid. He seemed so young, and you wondered if he’d been told that his entire career - lord knows you had too. A fellow doctor. You assumed he was a bit of a stickler about the title, as even his boss kept it tacked onto his name when introducing him. You’d originally hoped to find some comfort in the man, on the surface he seemed a lot like you. He was probably too smart for his own good as well. Given the way he was staring at you, though, you felt the realization sink in that the man had no intention of welcoming you. 

“Why exactly do we need another profiler?” His voice held no malice as he spoke in the direction of his boss. There was more curiosity in his voice than anything, however you did pick up on the sense of superiority that sat just beneath the surface of his words. You guessed that’s how he behaved generally - as though he was superior. Still, your head tilted slightly to the side at the question. 

Damn. Tough crowd. 

You saw the intake of breath in Hotchner as he prepared to defend your place here but you spoke before he could start. “While I am a profiler, sir, first and foremost I am a psychiatrist - a doctor. As I’m sure you heard from Strauss, the board is unhappy with your recent efficiency rates and would also like to aid your team in dealing with mental health crises. I’ve spent my entire life studying the effects and conditions of the mentally diseased brain. I’ll be able to tell you the most efficient and effective way of interacting with these individuals, along with more accurately predicting their actions and methodology. I’m an agent, I took the same oath everyone here did but I was brought here for my expertise.” You were on a bit of a tangent, you knew that, but something about the smug feel of the man forced an emergence of competitiveness. He looked at you so indifferent, and you couldn’t help the tiny sparks of anger lighting beneath your skin. You kept a friendly disposition towards the man - you were a professional, after all, not a teenager - but you sensed a rivalry sprouting it’s roots.

The others at the table suppressed their smiles or looked down to hide it. Nobody had ever challenged Spencer like that. They could all feel he was a tad bit territorial. He was the guy people went to when they needed to know something. He was the Doctor of the group. They didn’t think he would take too kindly to another one encroaching his land. They saw the way he was tense, even more so after you responded. It was a riveting sight, though. The lot of them saw Spencer as a younger brother, and him meeting his match was something they were all so excited to see.

“Play nice, pretty boy.” Derek muttered to him, Spencer was slightly slouched in his chair now, not losing sight of you. Derek followed suit, turning his attention towards you. “We’re glad to have you, Doctor. We’ve spoken about an addition like you before, I’m glad to see the higher ups finally listened. I look forward to working with you - excuse me.” He left once his phone rang. 

The others took his exit as an excuse for their own, everyone giving you a warm welcome as they left. You reciprocated happily, telling everyone they could just call you by your first name, never having been one for titles. ‘There’s one difference.’ You thought, even your internal dialogue was bitter. Aside from him, there was a warmth here that you had been desperate to find in your last team. If you had to work passive aggressively with one uptight man in exchange for a team like this - you were going to take that deal. 

He refused to leave it seemed. He just sat looking inquisitively at the table, occasionally extending his stare to look at you before returning. How did you two end up alone in this room?

“Are you gonna have a problem with me, Doctor?” You shifted slightly on your feet. A notoriously nervous sign, one he definitely picked up on.

He stared again. It was his mind that kept him rooted in his seat. You were fucking alluring. He’d never met someone so like himself in his line of work. He was being a dick and he knew it but it seemed to be instinctual - some type of precaution, maybe. He didn’t know why you were being so respectful. Doctor. God, he didn’t know if the title had ever sounded so good being directed at him. His frustration only rose as he thought on the issue more. He wasn’t welcoming, it would be so easy to drop the formality, something he knew you knew would get on his nerves. But you didn’t. It didn’t seem like a question of dignity. You didn’t seem like the type to refuse a little pettiness - he sure wasn’t the type either. A thought stirred, an unsafe one he wanted to squash immediately but one he also couldn’t help but lean into. Did you want a power imbalance?

“No.” He stood abruptly, obviously still focused on the thoughts in his head. “Welcome to the team.” He addressed you one last time and then walked out of the room.

You followed shortly after, ready to make home on your couch and be done with being the newbie for the day. Your stress would follow you home, though, as the last thing you heard before you left the building was “Oh my god they’re perfect for each other.”

2.

The first few weeks were always the hardest. This was something you knew and were prepared for but it did nothing to calm your nerves. You’d been on countless missions having worked this job for a while now, but this was an entirely new dynamic to learn. You were an outsider for the first time in four years and it was scary. This case was shaping up to be a rough one, too. A man was having delusions telling him to kill. An extremely rare manifestation of his Schizophrenia, only elevated by the newly acquired aspect of him being an insomniac. 

Spencer hadn’t ceased being headstrong in cases either. Every time you wanted to help he made it his mission to overcompensate in order to snuff you out. On the contrary, he’d warmed up to you a little. It wasn’t major, he barely held any positive feelings toward you, but barely was better than not at all, so you coped. You two had managed a couple small talk conversations outside the battle of one-upping that you were currently losing. You absolutely hated it, but you liked him. You liked him a lot, actually. You don’t know when in the past few days that anger morphed into fondness but it had shifted hard. The casual dominance he exuded drew you in like a porchlight lures a moth. You doubted the opposite proved true for him, and that stung. You came to enjoy the banter, the competition, even if you were always playing the losing hand. It was the only way to get his undivided attention and the feeling of his eyes on you started to follow you home. 

You thought a lot about how you could get the relationship to pivot into something better. You didn’t want to be the girl he bickered with at work. You didn’t know what it was you wanted but you knew that your current fate sounded horrid. He was an ass, though, and he did not make it easy to admit those feelings. Every time he undermined you, you grew more attached and also more angry at yourself for doing so. It was because he’s so much like you, you thought. You knew from the way he interacted with his team that he wasn’t a cold guy, didn’t hold malice towards people for no reason. He needs time. He needs to know you, and God how badly you wanted to know him. 

You had sustained good relations with everyone the past few weeks you’ve been here. Meeting Garcia and Rossi had been a treat - both of them being delightful company. You’d heard them whispering about you and Spencer when they thought you weren’t around. The whole team seems to think that you’re basically fated to be together. It was unnerving how comforting that thought was to you. You hoped they were right. 

Spencer hoped they were right too. He’d heard the same whispers you had, chastising the team when he got the chance as if he didn’t think about you every moment he could. His eyes seemed to naturally land on you if you were around. He watched you walk around the bureau more and more lately, enjoying the gained confidence in your step as you cemented your place in the team. The sway of your hips or the swing of your arms. You mesmerized him no matter what you did. One time he got so caught up in his thoughts of you that Prentiss had to check he wasn’t having a silent panic attack. He clung to his sense of resentment, tried so hard to remind himself of the feelings he had when he first met you - you were beautiful, of course you were - but you were on claimed land and he was anything but eager for you to make home on it. That had faded fast, seeing how kind you were, scrambling to help and earn respect from everyone. The only reason he kept up the act of  “man who wants you gone” was so that he could keep talking to you. Spencer was a genius but he didn’t know how to handle someone like you. He’d been interested in girls before, hell he’d had girlfriends before but it had never felt like this in such little time. Such intense infatuation was crippling for someone who’s brain worked in patterns - this was new ground for him. 

“Everybody suit up. We have Foster’s location and we need to move quickly. He’s going after the source of his rage and we don’t have time to spare.” Hotch came down the stairs two at a time, spurring the team into action. 

“This man is highly dangerous but also highly deluded. The cases I’ve read similar to this say it’s best to speak gently. He’s sick but he can be reasoned with.” Spencer pulls from his memory as he sets his ‘FBI’ vest into place on his chest. 

“No, not this time. This man is too severe, his mind is too far gone. If these hallucinations of his are strong enough for him to touch them it’ll be extremely easy for him to rearrange or imagine your words differently. You need to be loud, direct, and assertive. Speak as little as possible. The quieter you are, the easier it will be for him to change what you’re saying in his head.” You also spoke while putting your vest on. You didn’t carry a weapon - a personal vow of yours, as you were more than classified to - so there were no holsters to fill. The contradictions between the two doctors of the team made everyone hesitate even though they lacked the time to do so.

Spencer looked at you, slightly out of breath from working so quickly. “You’re questioning my memory?” 

“I’m not questioning your memory, Doctor. I’m questioning your sources. There’s a higher risk level if we do what you’re suggesting. Let me do my job.” You made the final adjustments to your attire as you finished speaking. You returned his eye contact for just a beat too long, letting the others rush out of the building while you stood your ground, the two of you begrudgingly following after them a moment later.

You had been assigned a different car than him for the ride over. ‘Thank God’ was the only thing you could think when you saw him heading to the other SUV. After another confrontation - another public one, at that - you weren’t sure you could handle being pressed leg to leg with him in the backseat. Your words were a looping record in his head as he rode towards Foster. They were about to attempt a hostage negotiation with a man seeing people who weren’t there but all he could think about was that fucking word you refused to drop. 

I’m not questioning your memory, Doctor

You had to be doing this on purpose, he thought. He originally believed this had started because you knew stripping him of his beloved title would cause irritation. Now he suspected you knew how badly he wanted his name in your mouth and this was your way of torturing him. ‘It’s working.’ He thought. God was it working. He agreed with his team, you were perfect for him. You had knowledge to match his, kept him on his toes. One time the start of a ramble slipped through his “I don’t like you” façade and he felt his heart speed up at the genuine interest that roused in your eyes. You wanted to know him and he was an idiot for all the shit he was doing. 

He wasn’t surprised when your strategy worked and Ben Foster was taken into custody. You were the one to talk him down, and if you hadn’t already been accepted to the team, he knew then and there that they needed you. You were flawless. He knew you’d been doing this as long as he had and it showed. He pleaded with himself to stay focused, zeroed in on the weight of the gun in his hand to save face. His mind never left you, though, much like his eyes. This was the expertise you spoke of - no wonder they fought hard to get you here. 

“You were excellent in there.” It was just the two of you now. Even in the dull, flashing police lights, you were breathtaking. “Good job.” He said. Then he walked away because he was on the brink of kissing you and didn’t feel like breaking about 18 workplace rules while at the scene of a crime. You wouldn’t have been complaining if he did.

3.

Every time something like this happened it was difficult to remind yourself that not carrying a weapon was a choice you made willingly. You were currently sitting in the back of an open ambulance, about to be hoisted onto a stretcher and driven to the ER for stitches. You’ve been with the BAU for almost 3 months now and have miraculously managed to avoid injury in that time. This had been one of the easier cases. No chases or clues to follow, just a sick man who left a fairly obvious paper trail. You were the speaker on almost all cases. You were in charge of de-escalating a situation, making sure the bomb didn’t blow. You’ve never carried a weapon, always preferring to take the wounds of a job over using a gun to back up your words. You were a psychiatrist, you wanted to make people better, not vilify them. It worked, usually. People did tend to trust you more when you were unarmed. This time, though, it got you stabbed.

It wasn’t a bad injury, the blood had already stopped and was mildly dry by the time Spencer was joining you. Just one more scar to your collection. It was to the side of your quad, missing any artery by miles and just serving as a pain source at this point. A little numbing and some stitches and you’d be right as rain is what the doctor in the ambulance had said. 

“What happened?” He spoke softly to you. There wasn’t a rivalry between you two, not really. The banter hadn’t stopped, but it changed. It was playful and actually fun now. The both of you weren’t obsessed with outdoing the other anymore. Some casual boastfulness and a budding friendship is where you were at with him currently. 

“I got stabbed.”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.”

He exhaled like he couldn’t comprehend the stupidity of your answer. You laughed at that. One enjoyable pastime you’d picked up in the past month was trying to bewilder him. The EMT said he needed to check the rest of your body for injury despite your protest of such a procedure. It was typical and you knew that, but you held onto the fear of your own body that middle school gave you. There was a man you liked here, and the thought of him seeing the bit of stomach that hung outside the waistline of your pants scared you more than you thought it would. You forced yourself to be rational in spite of this. It was Spencer, you wanted to be seen by him. 

“Holy shit.”

You chuckled at that. You forgot that maybe a warning was in order for the amount of scars that littered your stomach.

“Probably should have told you about those.” There were dozens. You amassed a countless amount of scars over the course of your job. Stab wounds, bullet grazes, burn marks. Unsubs, as much as you tried to empathize, were often violent at the end of the day and usually lashed out before they could be helped. 

He was staring - well, gazing more like. Not like someone stares at a car accident on the freeway but instead how someone stares at the moon - awe. He was in awe of you. Your strength, your courage, the fact that you went through all these individual events and still chose not to arm yourself. Some of these were in places that could have been fatal, and he thanked whatever entity may be listening that you persevered, begged them to continue that streak. He crashed hard into the desire to touch you, to run his hands over what little of your past he could see. He wondered if you would let him. If you’d fit into his palms the way he thought you would - if that was something you even wanted. The EMT was gone by now, having moved to the passenger seat for the ride to the hospital. 

“Could I - " He hesitated for a moment, this was definitely the wrong question to ask. “Can I touch you?”

Your eyes glazed over slightly. Jesus. You felt your lips part a little.

“You want to?” Genuine surprise. You didn’t think you looked particularly desirable in your current state. He wanted to touch your fucking scars. Who does he think he is?

“Please.” He was looking at you in a way you hadn’t seen before. His eyes were glazed over too. You held his eyes as you nodded. The heat was so stifling that you laughed just a little at the tension.

“Fucking hell, Spence.”

Blood shot to his ears when you said his name. It had been well worth the wait to hear you say it like that - breathy and confused and so fucking pretty that he wondered how he ever lived before you said it. 

“Will you tell me about them?” He was breathy too, but he wouldn’t have you here, not like this. He just needed to feel you. 

“I’ll tell you anything you want, Doc.”

His hands were warm. It wouldn’t be the last time you felt them.

[ballcrusher74]

deacon blast again

also yknow what. info dump about this guy cus he's coming to the cleanup crew very soon

D-17, aka Deacon, was a robot originally created for the Bioscience & Technology team for the Company. This team specialized in studying the biology of the entities, moon environments, and making technological advancements for both their scavengers and to assist their research. (Fun fact ! This team was also responsible for creating the revive technology, resulting in the cycle.) Deacon is a D type model, one of the tank robots, usually used as personal bodyguards for other team members when exploring moons, and hauling back deceased corpses of the moon's wildlife. He is very much programmed to be a work machine, speaks very formally, takes everything literally, and obeys given orders. He was a good mechanical co-worker. However, as the Company started to cut corners, this team was dissolved. God knows what happened with the human members of the team, but as for the robots, they were all stationed on various planets and left to rot. Some time goes by, 18 years roughly, and Deacon's still body stands upright, covered with small patches of foliage and insects crawling through his joints. Deacon is a very lucky case, compared to the others, having been safely stationed on 41-Experimentation inside of a storage room in the facility. The majority of the other robots have been likely ripped apart by the moon's wildlife, weather conditions wearing them down, and just breaking down into scrap pieces.

Soon, he will be found there and charged back up. However, he will not be aware of what happened to his team. He did his job to stand guard, and he did until his power ran dry, like a loyal dog to the company.

Soon, he'll figure it out. (also I think I've posted his ref here before?? I think. yea I did, but I might make him a more polished one. design ain't changed tho lol) (OH FUCK YEA UH. THAT IS CRICK IN THE SECOND IMAGE. THE NERD ASS SCAVENGER. belongs to my dear buddy @blegsbag)

[jounosparticles]

I'm curious....... what do you think the hunting dogs's backgrounds are?

I mean, we know fukuchi's and tachihara's and jouno was in a crime ring but i mean like specific details. does that make sense?

like what was their education or did they ever have to do like a mini basic training? did tachihara create a milk locker?

idk they've been taking up my brain since like October and what I do is that since they don't have specific backgrounds my brain just fills in the spaces for me. just little backstory hcs djdebd

hi!!

okay so….sorry in advance i got really rambly but here are some of my ideas for everyone

the whole team

- tachi joined likely after the others

- i assume fukuchi was there from the start

- but you don’t start a one person team so i’d assume teruko and tecchou were there as well!

- fukuchi specifically picked out jouno for the team. maybe he chose all the members? maybe not im not sure really.

- personally i think they started the team with tecchou, teruko, and fukuchi. then shortly after jouno joined then tachi after

- fukuchi wore the hunting dogs uniform during untold origins. this means either they never got new uniforms or the team has existed for at least 12 years.

- that makes me wonder if there are former hunting dogs that have retired or been killed? or maybe it was just fukuchi and teruko at the start.

- i suppose if tecchou joined while a teenager still (16-19ish) during untold origins it would make sense still. i assume he’s in his late 20s if not older (please i need canon ages asagiri please make them at least 28 please im so sick of everyone being in their early 20s sob. anyways). it would still make sense for them to form then

- however i don’t believe fukuchi makes an appearance in the untold origins book? so it may just be a lore mistake and the team may be newer. who knows.

now onto individual characters

fukuchi

- was in the military prior to the hunting dogs. we know this

- his power probably was the core reason the hunting dogs were founded

- i assume he started training and set this goal in his childhood after getting the signal from amenogozen

- he likely helped form the idea of the group

- i like to imagine he knew teruko beforehand

- i assume fukuchi’s ability manifested out of pure desire to save the world. likely around when he got drafted. since fukuzawa and him fought evenly as children i assume he didn’t have the ability then

- i feel the other hunting dogs likely warmed up to him quickly. he just has the personality of that

- he’s probably always felt immense pressure and stress throughout his entire life due to him knowing the worlds outcome results in his actions

- he likely started out with a strong fighting spirit (like when he met fukuzawa) but he was likely drained and very stressed over time

- as for education, hmmmmm. i actually am not sure. we really don’t get much of any mention of school in bsd in general (other than tanizaki and naomi being students and kunikida being a former teacher). i assume fukuchi got some schooling but enlisted while young

i don’t have too much to say about him since we seen a lot of his backstory.

teruko

- i want to say she was also likely military or a public service worker of sorts

- we really don’t know much about teruko. but she has the personality of someone who is very used to her work and likely has been here a long time

- i feel she probably completed school and went to further school in law enforcement

- she is very tough and good at interrogation. it likely made her one of the most noticeable candidates for the job

- i assume her ability manifested likely out of a time where she desperately wanted to change people, hence the way it is. i’m not really sure how exactly ill have to think more on this!

- i feel she was likely quick to adjust to the job. she doesn’t seem to have an issue talking to people and would likely be a good coworker from the start

- a lot of her background is hard to tell when we don’t quite know how old she is. if i could hazard to guess even roughly how long she’s been around i could come up with some better ideas i think

- i like to imagine she uses her ability to mess with people before they find out what her ability is. imagine going to get a coffee and coming back and seeing a random baby at ur coworkers desk. that would be so funny

- she also probably could use her ability to get those "kids eat free” meals and stuff. not really a backstory headcanon it’s just what i would do

- i bet she always had her sense of justice. i don’t think she ever swayed far from the way she is now. her job likely toughened her a bit and made interrogation easier that way but her heart was always the same intent

- i assume she knew who fukuchi was before they started working together (guessing his reputation was already good or maybe they knew each other).

- she’s probably the brains behind a lot of their work. despite fukuchi being the captain usually it’s her and jouno strategizing the most out of them all. i assume she’s super smart

- i feel she was probably very willing to do the surgeries. she already likely was very strong and skilled in her work. she’s dutiful and i think everything about her screams willing

tachihara

- i assume he’s somewhat new to the squad. remembering he’s only 19

- that makes me wonder if he had went to highschool? if so he was part time hunting dog part time student. must have been one hell of a week. i’m saying he probably dropped out after getting recruited OR idk had a lesser workload until he graduated

- i wish i knew how long he has been in the mafia, that could help me figure out a timeline a lot easier for him.

- i assume he hasn’t been in the mafia much longer than the manga has been going on, however he must have very quickly moved up the ranks somehow without outing his ability. possibly his enhanced strength helped here

- he was found and recruited by the hunting dogs but we don’t know when. somehow long enough to gain their trust to infiltrate the mafia, but not long enough to make a name for himself as a hunting dog.

- guessing, he got found at 17, started infiltrating the mafia at 18, and has been since (at 19). best timeline i can think of that’s reasonable. of course he Could have been much younger but i just don’t see that

- anyway, prior to any of this. we know he wanted to be different than his brother which caused him to act out in rebellion

- regardless of that i think the people around him (including his brother) taught him a lot of who he is

- tachihara is loyal and caring, much like his brother seemed to be. they felt very similar in personality there it really shows

- i’ll also note that his eyes stay bright white most of the time in the manga. despite most of the mafia having black eyes

- but i think being in the mafia taught tachihara that good people can do horrible things, which likely influenced his decision in sparing yosano

- i’d guess his ability manifested out of grief for his brother. he formed a much more dangerous ability that would help him get revenge

- as for joining the hunting dogs, i assume he fit in well from the start

- i think he seems like the type to be very easy to get along with which probably made him an optimal choice for infiltrating but also being part of the job.

- we can see that he cares about the approval of his coworkers as well

- he looks very happy and proud of completing his job. i think this just further shows that he’s always loyal to people, even if they contradict each other

- i bet he was surprised at the start of his military job. he likely didn’t have an option to not join. the sudden change from the surgeries was probably hard. i assume he didn’t train much beforehand since it wasn’t really important

- i like to imagine they all trained him a little bit and they all grew to like him rather quickly !!

jouno

- so all we know is that he was in a crime group six years prior to the current events

- as for schooling i’m really lost here. he might have went to school. he might not have went much. who knows. not me

- i assume jouno had a rougher upbringing. assuming he is at least in his mid-late twenties he was in his crime group until he was an adult

- that is explained a lot in his actions as well. he’s maintained his sadistic personality overtime. compare that to dazai who left his crime group while still a teenager and has had a clear change in some core personality traits

- of course, we don’t know how criminal-era jouno was. but i assume he didn’t change too much since based off the way he acts now.

- we also know he was an executive in said criminal organization, so he was likely affiliated with them for a long time.

- let’s take a quick look at the only executive jouno picture:

this photo is really neat. the striped outfit could indicate that he was a prisoner that fukuchi spotted. it could also just appear that way to look ambiguous as well. jouno also is smiling in the image, this could also be him being asked by fukuchi to join the hunting dogs here. it doesn’t really explain what’s going on or where he is. i just think it’s neat and worth bringing up. had be been a prisoner though im sure it would have been an easy escape given his ability (unless he was in an ability space, of course).

- anyway. this picture also shows his eyes closed, meaning he loses his sight before joining the hunting dogs

- he mentioned that he Lost his sight when arresting dazai, which means he was not born that way. i switch between it being an injury or an illness that made him lose it. either idea is interesting to me and i hope we get an answer.

- either way, i want more criminal executive jouno information

- and i’d assume his ability formed when he felt trapped somewhere. possibly cornered or in a dangerous situation and just needed a quick way to escape and formed it out of fear maybe?

-as for joining the hunting dogs, i assume it was a rougher transition for him

- the people who were after him before are now his coworkers. he probably felt awkward over this (if the others know his past)

- i assume he had the hard time adjusting to everyone too. probably easily annoyed but not wanting to come off that way until he was confident in his job

- i also assume the surgeries wasnt something he initially wanted to do but ultimately did because that’s better than being executed or imprisoned for his crimes.

- he also seems like the type to be reluctant to work with others. possibly making adjusting harder for him

- his morality probably clashed against tecchou’s a bit at first, until jouno found the joy in helping others

- i believe the hunting dogs really helped him find joy in helping people as well. their dedication probably helped motivate him

- he also mentions in one panel after fukuchi asks him to betray "so this isn’t some kind of military test?" which (maybe a stretch) Could suggest he’s been tested by the military to see if he’s still reliable. maybe this creates some lack of trust because people don’t believe him.

- i also assume his upbringing influences the way he acts towards people. he’s cold and mean sometimes but that’s likely a defense mechanism to not b too close to others

tecchou

- once again we don’t know much about tecchou yet. there’s nothing about his past yet but that doesn’t mean i don’t have a ton of ideas floating around

- i feel like teruko he probably went to school and then law-enforcement in post secondary. i know he was a good student too

- we know he’s typically very composed. even when joking he often keeps a straight face except that one time he teases jouno but that’s just him being gay idk

- because of this i wonder if he had some communication issues growing up? maybe working in anything unprofessional didn’t work for him since he often was taken seriously

- however with that in mind i believe he was definitely raised with his just morals. it seems really driven into him and seems to be a huge part of who he is

- i like to think his sense of justice stems from being failed by the system before. maybe he lost someone close to him and never got proper justice?

- what backs that up is how he mentions "there is evil that goes unpunished, and good that goes unrewarded.” and mentions that his blade helps decide that. that is an immense amount of pressure onto himself to keep everything he possibly can just

- such ideas i guess stem from his desire to never have someone not get what they deserve. destroy all evil, protect the innocent. he wants to do what the system failed before and takes it upon himself.

- maybe his ability manifested out of his desire to protect people?

- as for adjusting into the hunting dogs, i feel it wasn’t great or badly. got along with people fine but i feel maybe his very straight-faced personality was a strong contrast to the others at first

- he was possibly military beforehand? or law enforcement and was recruited because of his ability and his strong morals

- he was probably willing to do the surgeries and was already very physically trained. anything to serve proper justice

- he seems to be the calmest-acting of them all. very straightforward when he talks. maybe this was hard to get along with initially? until you’re used to him

- i don’t think he sees the way he acts as unusual either. probably just doesn’t care and is just himself. (which i love)

- i also like to imagine his fixation on ants and stuff is just something he’s always liked. idk he’s so cute for that

- he probably excelled at working right away. i see him to be very good at staying determined to get the job done

thank you for the question!! this was super fun to look at. also please ignore the grammar issues i am super tired

[the-disaster-in-waiting]

Who are you?

(Dr Spencer Reid x Reader)

“Who are you?” A large mahogany table separated Spencer and 'Cale' as he stared her down.

“What do you mean?” She tilted her head as if surprised by his question.

- Flashback to one month ago-

Cale held herself and her looks in high standards, careful and precise. This was a new opportunity, a new job and a restart on herself.

As the elevator dinged signalling the doors opening having made her floor she moved to enter the bullpen and stood observing the room unhappy with the noise plaguing her senses.

She desperately wanted to curl into a ball, run from the situation. She did not like the noise. Her skills were in flight now and as long as the BAU offered she would be theirs.

As she tried to somewhat read her new co-workers Aaron Hotchner, her new boss surprised her. She jumped at his voice.

“Hello, Miss Cale Agent Hotchner we met before.” He stuck his hand out to shake, she gripped it quickly and gave a soft smile letting down her faux guard.

“Yes Daniel Cale” She held her head high, eyes meeting his and a small smile to indicate friendly… but apprehensive and scared. It was her first day.

“Yes, follow me.” Before leading the way he turned to the team now knowing into the short conversation had a few feet away from them. “Conference room, 5 minutes”.

Cale hadn’t been able to sit before the team filled all the empty seats eager to identify the disruption to their easy going day.

“This is First Officer Cale, the new co-pilot of the jet Strauss has decided we will have one who will be on all flights with us and be caring for the aircraft from now on” Hotchner looked to check all heard and absorbed the new information. “Now Garcia?”.

As Hotch sat down a perk blonde with the rainbow poured into her outfit stood making sure to look away from the screens gruesome images. “Alright my lovelies…”

The bright woman continued as Cale spaced out uneager to listen in on a case she wasn’t made to listen to. She thought of dinner, what she’d make or order now that she was leaving for a hotel. As she further sank into her dinner pit Hotch’s strong voice pulled her out.

“Wheels up in 30” he looked to Cale, “Cale” nodding in respect as she stood with him speed walking towards her aircraft. Odd it was now official this was her’s to care for and man.

“First Officer Cale? I’m Captain Martins” He held his hand too low for Cale’s liking but she shook it nonetheless eager for her first flight as she finished her checks before the team boarded she and Martins sat to get comfortable in their seats.

Flying was one thing but it was different controlling the jet and a whole other thing to fly your own jet holding others lives in your responsibility. Martins made idle chat Cale didn’t mind entertaining as he flew the jet. Cale checked all systems were in check and no issues for her first trip as she breathed deeply at her small success, a small part still being held till descent.

-

“Both parents passed in a car accident when she was 12, she was then raised by her aunt and older brother before studying in KAPA and moving out of Savannah” As all but Hotch listened to Garcia’s deep dig into the new semi-member of the team as Garcia said apprehensive of a new member entering without approval.

“Babygirl I think that’s enough” Morgan tried to gently and discreetly close Garcia’s laptop before she could continue.

“But what if she’s a secret spy or murderer… or, or or” As Morgan stopped Garcia from reopening her laptop despite her pleas she fell further into her chair.

“Cale is actually a boy's name of Hebrew origin, though its translations are diverse. As a variation of Kelev, it means "dog," encompassing the virtues of loyalty and love. However, its most popular interpretation is as a shorthand for Caleb, meaning "wholehearted." An iconic ancient figure within the Old Testament, Caleb was famously-” before Reid could continue Prentiss started.

“Maybe we should invite her to drinks at the hotel. No better way than to dig some info” She shrugged at the idea, it was worth a try though. She could tell the girl was a little nervous and new to the team, she wanted them to feel comfortable and get to know them.

“Or we could keep looking” As Garcia tried to futally open her laptop again Morgan pinched it from her laptop and held it high above his head.

“Or we could listen to Prentiss, she has a good idea” as Garcia huffed and conceded to Prentiss’ plan Morgan gave her cheek a kiss.

“Don’t worry if she is hiding something we’ll know”.

-

The hotel was clean white sheets and light brown wood. It smelt fresh and floral, a suitable place for Cale to await the capture of the BAU’s criminal and return home.

The first day as the team ran out the doors as fast as she could unlock it haphazardly thanking her as they marched to cars awaiting them, Cale took the time to clean and reorganise the jet to her standards.

Chairs bolted down she took to cleaning and organising the coffee station astounded they even had one, moving to the cockpit she found a bag left by one seat dropped in a way that easily led to these mistakes. Laying it with her bags to take to her room she made sure everything was locked and safe before making a move to the desk she’d been sitting at for hours.

Paperwork was always a chore and as the sun disappeared and the moon shone into her room she opened an overpriced beer. Hating the taste but the only drink she could have, she jumped at the knock on her door. Unexpected and traumatising she jumped so high the chair she’d stamped with her body the past few hours scraped loudly at the sudden loss of weight.

Waiting in silence to see if the knocking would disappear. Sadly it didn’t so with a hard groan she slowly re-lifted herself to answer their call.

-

As the door opened he could see her tired face he cringed at how much work must have been put into keeping the jet working.

Waving a small hi she slowly moved for what she guessed was his bag.

“Hi, we were going for drinks downstairs and were wondering if you’d like to join the team” he stammered and cringed at each mistake, unhappy at being chosen as the messenger but surprised when she held up a bag. “That’s Garcia’s bag” He grabbed it as she’d held it out not wanting anyone to be missing it for too long.

“Yeah, I found it when cleaning the jet so thought I’d bring it, can’t get in now all closed up.” She didn’t know whether to continue or shut the door in his face and rest until it was time to fly. “Any info to catch your killer?” She leant against the door as she asked, feeling more comfortable with a surface to lean on.

“No nothing that can give us an arrest” It fell awkwardly silent as they stood across each other Cale interrupting it again.

“You know, I didn’t know that stuff. About my name I mean that was pretty cool” Reid perked up at the kind comment.

“You know Savannah is pretty interesting as well in fact when Union General Sherman burned Atlanta to the ground during his infamous southbound march in the Civil War. When he arrived in Savannah, the city’s beauty inspired him to spare it. Instead of destroying Savannah like he did Atlanta, Sherman sent a telegraph of Savannah, with its neat squares and lush greenery, to President Lincoln offering the city to him as a Christmas present”

“Really?, I mean that’s a pretty big christmas gift” They both relaxed and calmed in each other's presence and personality. “Makes you wonder what he got his wife”.

At her last comment both Reid and Cale laughed at her silly joke Reid’s more of a hidden smile, shoulders moving and hers a smooth chuckle.

“Well I got to get to bed” As she moved away from the door to close it Reid quickly stopped it.

“Drinks?” He was uncomfortable bringing the subject up again but not wanting to show up alone.

“Sorry, as the new Jet caretaker there's a lot of work i gotta fix for one person there's a lot that needs to be grouped together for one plane” With a small smile she slowly closed the door again before deciding the work she had done was enough and collapsed into her bed ready for a new day.

-

As Reid showed to the table without Cale he held up his new find instead. “My bag” Garcia grabbed it quickly not even having thought of it all day but now felt dread at the idea of being left without it.

“Cale found it in the jet and left it in her room in case we needed it” Garcia swallowed the reply and thought of her next words carefully.

“So when we get back we have to get to know her right” All agreeing as Reid sat beside Morgan and Hotch returned with a drink.

Reid fell into his own thoughts, Morgan shrugging him back.

“You ok kid?”

“Yeah, just thinking.” and he was.

[kopathefox]

I wanna know more abt team dimension in ur pkmn xenoverse au if you can :0]

Oh, good question, I haven’t really thought about it in my entire life, but why not sharing my current team dimension of the Arsism AU, so basically the team is kinda like my mother’s workers, Versil is an annoying AF boss (like my mother), Victor hates him (like me except i only hate her personality not her herself), Dahlia is like my mother’s old secretary (if thats the word for the one who sits in the office & does the job of the boss), she can’t stands dealing with problems (like Sorrel, damn, she hates him soooo much mainly due to the fact he always stopped team dimension & is unbeatable), but unlike my mom’s old secretary, she didn’t quit because she wanted money (in my AU Versil was cheapstake on other people like my mamma so he paid them a low price of 100 poké for a month, lol) and was too unsuccessful to get a proper job, A & B & every robot of the team were loyal to him mainly cuz they are just that way lol, Trey hates fucking everyone in the team & always dreams of killing Versil extremely brutally like in horror movies (yes, Trey’s mind is dark, just like Sorrel) i haven’t even finished the game so I can’t tell the exact info but i know the story pretty well, now to lore stuff:

(Warning, i ended up telling just things about the characters themselves, mainly Versil, instead of facts about the team)

When Versil ran away to commit crimes (cuz the concept of him opening a portal to the xenoverse & making his team members harm pokemon & people was kinda a crime) a certain grunt was like “didn’t you had a wife and a son?” And then Versil shoot him with an RPG & said “we don’t mention emotional stuff” (it happened before mainstory events)

Trey once tried stabbing Versil but he failed miserably & just waited for it to end

The first to find Versil in the spaceship was Sorrel (second was Aster & third were Trey & Alice) & Versil did do all this “manipulative & dark talk” (basically him admitting all his crimes while sweet talking to Sorrel to make him submit) but what was different from the original game (canon) was that in order to get him to open a xenoverse portal & hand him Chrissy (Trishout) was literally torture him to get him to do so (yeah, Versil during the xenoverse incident was a horrible person) & even be a lil bit violent with him, luckily Aster came to save Sorrel

Remember Versil’s X Mewtwo? So i made a place for X Mewtwo in the AU as well, in the AU Versil abused Bingus (x Mewtwo) & treated him horribly, so the moment where Bingus is ordered to block the way to the portal, Aster prepares to fight but Sorrel’s like “dude! Why resorting to violence?!” & spoke with Bingus (btw, Sorrel nicknamed him Bingus, and about speaking part, Sorrel & every furry understands the pokemon language) & even noticed some scars on him, probably from Versil or something and then Sorrel convinced Bingus to join them in the fight against Versil & Dragalisk & so he does cuz duh, Sorrel beated Versil easily in his Alter form (his Alter form is just straight up violent & talks in french) so why wouldn’t he

Victor in my AU hates Trey but not as much as he hates the rest cuz he was his crush’s (whatever Trey’s mamma name is) son, but he literally hates the entire existence cuz he is an antipathy

Dahlia eventually starts hating Victor after the events in the old bunker of team dimension cuz she understood he was just an unstable bitch

Trey got revived mysteriously, nobody knows why, but the reason for it was the crown Sorrel wears in the “completely giving up” animation (where it’s basically summing up Sorrel’s entire adventure & his trauma in short) which is a gift from the 2 gods of the justified dimension (Cypress & Atlas), because Trey’s death was considered “unjustified” & they wanted to make up for Sorrel’s trauma cuz he saved the entire planet so they created it to revive Trey

We all see that Versil has an Entei in the canon, right? But nobody tells us why, so in my AU back then when Chrissy & Versil were edgy teenagers (Chrissy was edgy cuz he was a simp for Versil/Silver & wanted to be like him but he took it to a whole other level) Silver wanted to catch a legendary so he can beat Chrissy but the 3 legendary beasts were too much for him to handle & then Chrissy caught Entei for him in brutal-style (brutal-style is an ancient fighting style of the furries that their ancestor made which is basically fighting without using pokemon & brutally like wild animals) & Silver was staring with an horrified & pitiful look, pitying the poor Entei that got beated up by the crazy, wingless dragon & being horrified at that sight, but then it faded when he finally got a legendary, Aster’s Suicune is a whole other story, completely unrelated to Versil & Chrissy’s edgy & insane childhood story

Im not sure if i told it already but Versil & Chrissy were once married before Clover & Chrissy is the actual second parent of Sorrel, but nobody knows that besides of the Jothoian people, and they will never tell that cuz Clover & Versil dont want to have to deal with having to explain the truth to everyone

In the xenoverse incident Versil was a whole different person than he ever was, he did had changed, but nothing can fix the fact that his son is already traumatised from all that, and he fucking regrets that

Yeah, thats it, sorry for making it unnecessarily long

[jcmarchi]

Babak Hodjat, CTO of AI at Cognizant – Interview Series

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/babak-hodjat-cto-of-ai-at-cognizant-interview-series/

Babak Hodjat, CTO of AI at Cognizant – Interview Series

Babak Hodjat is Vice President of Evolutionary AI at Cognizant, and former co-founder and CEO of Sentient. He is responsible for the core technology behind the world’s largest distributed artificial intelligence system. Babak was also the founder of the world’s first AI-driven hedge fund, Sentient Investment Management. He is a serial entrepreneur, having started a number of Silicon Valley companies as main inventor and technologist.

Prior to co-founding Sentient, Babak was senior director of engineering at Sybase iAnywhere, where he led mobile solutions engineering. He was also co-founder, CTO and board member of Dejima Inc. Babak is the primary inventor of Dejima’s patented, agent-oriented technology applied to intelligent interfaces for mobile and enterprise computing – the technology behind Apple’s Siri.

A published scholar in the fields of artificial life, agent-oriented software engineering and distributed artificial intelligence, Babak has 31 granted or pending patents to his name. He is an expert in numerous fields of AI, including natural language processing, machine learning, genetic algorithms and distributed AI and has founded multiple companies in these areas. Babak holds a Ph.D. in machine intelligence from Kyushu University, in Fukuoka, Japan.

Looking back at your career, from founding multiple AI-driven companies to leading Cognizant’s AI Lab, what are the most important lessons you’ve learned about innovation and leadership in AI?

Innovation needs patience, investment, and nurturing, and it should be fostered and unrestricted. If you’ve built the right team of innovators, you can trust them and give them full artistic freedom to choose how and what they research. The results will often amaze you. From a leadership perspective, research and innovation should not be a nice-to-have or an afterthought. I’ve set up research teams pretty early on when building start-ups and have always been a strong advocate of research investment, and it has paid off. In good times, research keeps you ahead of competition, and in bad times, it helps you diversify and survive, so there is no excuse for underinvesting, restricting or overburdening it with short-term business priorities.

As one of the primary inventors of Apple’s Siri, how has your experience with developing intelligent interfaces shaped your approach to leading AI initiatives at Cognizant?

The natural language technology I originally developed for Siri was agent-based, so I have been working with the concept for a long time. AI wasn’t as powerful in the ’90s, so I used a multi-agent system to tackle understanding and mapping of natural language commands to actions. Each agent represented a small subset of the domain of discourse, so the AI in each agent had a simple environment to master. Today, AI systems are powerful, and one LLM can do many things, but we still benefit by treating it as a knowledge worker in a box, restricting its domain, giving it a job description and linking it to other agents with different responsibilities. The AI is thus able to augment and improve any business workflow.

As part of my remit as CTO of AI at Cognizant, I run our Advanced AI Lab in San Francisco. Our core research principle is agent-based decision-making. As of today, we currently have 56 U.S. patents on core AI technology based on that principle. We’re all in.

Could you elaborate on the cutting-edge research and innovations currently being developed at Cognizant’s AI Lab? How are these developments addressing the specific needs of Fortune 500 companies?

We have several AI studios and innovation centers. Our Advanced AI Lab in San Francisco focuses on extending the state of the art in AI. This is part of our commitment announced last year to invest $1 billion in generative AI over the next three years.

More specifically, we’re focused on developing new algorithms and technologies to serve our clients. Trust, explainability and multi-objective decisions are among the important areas we’re pursuing that are vital for Fortune 500 enterprises.

Around trust, we’re interested in research and development that deepens our understanding of when we can trust AI’s decision-making enough to defer to it, and when a human should get involved. We have several patents related to this type of uncertainty modeling. Similarly, neural networks, generative AI and LLMs are inherently opaque. We want to be able to evaluate an AI decision and ask it questions about why it recommended something – essentially making it explainable. Finally, we understand that sometimes, decisions companies want to be able to make have more than one outcome objective—cost reduction while increasing revenues balanced with ethical considerations, for example. AI can help us achieve the best balance of all of these outcomes by optimizing decision strategies in a multi-objective manner. This is another very important area in our AI research.

The next two years are considered critical for generative AI. What do you believe will be the pivotal changes in this period, and how should enterprises prepare?

We’re heading into an explosive period for the commercialization of AI technologies. Today, AI’s primary uses are improving productivity, creating better natural language-driven user interfaces, summarizing data and helping with coding. During this acceleration period, we believe that organizing overall technology and AI strategies around the core tenet of multi-agent systems and decision-making will best enable enterprises to succeed. At Cognizant, our emphasis on innovation and applied research will help our clients leverage AI to increase strategic advantage as it becomes further integrated into business processes.

How will Generative AI reshape industries, and what are the most exciting use cases emerging from Cognizant’s AI Lab?

Generative AI has been a huge step forward for businesses. You now have the ability to create a series of knowledge workers that can assist humans in their day-to-day work. Whether it’s streamlining customer service through intelligent chatbots or managing warehouse inventory through a natural language interface, LLMs are very good at specialized tasks.

But what comes next is what will truly reshape industries, as agents get the ability to communicate with each other. The future will be about companies having agents in their devices and applications that can address your needs and interact with other agents on your behalf. They will work across entire businesses to assist humans in every role, from HR and finance to marketing and sales. In the near future, businesses will gravitate naturally towards becoming agent-based.

Notably, we already have a multi-agent system that was developed in our lab in the form of Neuro AI, an AI use case generator that allows clients to rapidly build and prototype AI decisioning use cases for their business. It is already delivering some exciting results, and we’ll be sharing more on this soon.

What role will multi-agent architectures play in the next wave of Gen AI transformation, particularly in large-scale enterprise environments?

In our research and conversations with corporate leaders, we’re getting more and more questions about how they can make Generative AI impactful at scale. We believe the transformative promise of multi-agent artificial intelligence systems is central to achieving that impact. A multi-agent AI system brings together AI agents built into software systems in various areas across the enterprise. Think of it as a system of systems that allows LLMs to interact with one another. Today, the challenge is that, even though business objectives, activities, and metrics are deeply interwoven, the software systems used by disparate teams are not, creating problems. For example, supply chain delays can affect distribution center staffing. Onboarding a new vendor can impact Scope 3 emissions. Customer turnover could indicate product deficiencies. Siloed systems mean actions are often based on insights drawn from merely one program and applied to one function. Multi-agent architectures will light up insights and integrated action across the business. That’s real power that can catalyze enterprise transformation.

In what ways do you see multi-agent systems (MAS) evolving in the next few years, and how will this impact the broader AI landscape?

A multi-agent AI system functions as a virtual working group, analyzing prompts and drawing information from across the business to produce a comprehensive solution not just for the original requestor, but for other teams as well. If we zoom in and look at a particular industry, this could revolutionize operations in areas like manufacturing, for example. A Sourcing Agent would analyze existing processes and recommend more cost-effective alternative components based on seasons and demand. This Sourcing Agent would then connect with a Sustainability Agent to determine how the change would impact environmental goals. Finally, a Regulatory Agent would oversee compliance activity, ensuring teams submit complete, up-to-date reports on time.

The good news is many companies have already begun to organically integrate LLM-powered chatbots, but they need to be intentional about how they start to connect these interfaces. Care must be taken as to the granularity of agentification, the types of LLMs being used, and when and how to fine-tune them to make them effective. Organizations should start from the top, consider their needs and goals, and work down from there to decide what can be agentified.

What are the main challenges holding enterprises back from fully embracing AI, and how does Cognizant address these obstacles?

Despite leadership’s backing and investment, many enterprises fear falling behind on AI. According to our research, there’s a gap between leaders’ strategic commitment and the confidence to execute well. Cost and availability of talent and the perceived immaturity of current Gen AI solutions are two significant inhibitors holding enterprises back from fully embracing AI.

Cognizant plays an integral role helping enterprises traverse the AI productivity-to-growth journey. In fact, recent data from a study we conducted with Oxford Economics points to the need for outside expertise to help with AI adoption, with 43% of companies indicating they plan to work with external consultants to develop a plan for generative AI. Traditionally, Cognizant has owned the last mile with clients – we did this with data storage and cloud migration, and agentification will be no different. This is work that must be highly customized. It’s not a one size fits all journey. We’re the experts who can help identify the business goals and implementation plan, and then bring in the right custom-built agents to address business needs. We are, and have always been, the people to call.

Many companies struggle to see immediate ROI from their AI investments. What common mistakes do they make, and how can these be avoided?

Generative AI is far more effective when companies bring it into their own data context—that is to say, customize it on their own strong foundation of enterprise data. Also, sooner or later, enterprises will have to take the challenging step to reimagine their fundamental business processes. Today, many companies are using AI to automate and improve existing processes. Bigger results can happen when they start to ask questions like, what are the constituents of this process, how do I change them, and prepare for the emergence of something that doesn’t exist yet? Yes, this will necessitate a culture change and accepting some risk, but it seems inevitable when orchestrating the many parts of the organization into one powerful whole.

What advice would you give to emerging AI leaders who are looking to make a significant impact in the field, especially within large enterprises?

Business transformation is complex by nature. Emerging AI leaders within larger enterprises should focus on breaking down processes, experimenting with changes, and innovating. This requires a shift in mindset and calculated risks, but it can create a more powerful organization.

Thank you for the great interview, readers who wish to learn more should visit Cognizant.

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

Posted on September 2, 2022 by Rybyn Z.

The meeting went off the rails when I got a text and an email from one of the early elementary teachers. The managers were lying to our faces. Everyone must have gotten the same messages, because my coworkers’ voices started to rise, their tone grew angry, and they stopped respecting management’s “meeting norms.”

Our in-person school year had ended a week before, but management insisted on a virtual “follow-up” meeting. So, everyone dutifully logged on at 9:00 am. The regional director and his crony were waiting patiently. In an act worthy of Broadway, the DMV regional director, with a too-bad-so-sad tone, announced that our principal and assistant principal had “left to pursue other opportunities.” There was no one to replace them yet.

I work at a neighborhood charter school in Washington DC. Most students come from low-income or middle-income Black and Latinx families. Just a few months before I started working there, the board that owns the school switched charter management companies to a renowned national charter “turnaround” company based on the notorious Mind Trust’s model. Often credited as creating the blueprint for privatizing urban education, it helped spawn the company that now oversees my school. Mismanagement, exploitation, and hypocrisy were in the company’s DNA. Originally founded in Indianapolis (like the Mind Trust), the company grew until it spread all the way to Washington DC, where a charter market already thrives.

Staff, students, and families were already reeling from a traumatic year. So the announcement about the administration team blindsided us. While many of us did not like the principal and assistant principal—or, like myself, believe we could do without them altogether— we all agreed that they cared for the school community.

Meanwhile, the company had nearly run the school into the ground through mismanagement and financial profiteering schemes. They fired teachers while we were desperately understaffed, revoked already-earned bonuses for changing jobs, and did shady things to raise test scores. These were only the most glaring of a whole host of issues threatening to overwhelm and destroy the school.

So, we were all a little more than suspicious. The atmosphere was tense. A few staff members pressed the regional director for firm answers about our former leadership team—and received dodgy replies. One of the workers then asked, “Were they let go, or did they choose to leave?” over and over again. Eventually, the regional director paused for a few seconds, then—finally—said, “They chose to leave.”

That’s when I, and nearly everyone else, got the text message from the early elementary teacher. It was just an image thumbnail. Inside was the principal’s termination letter, sent by the director hosting the meeting.

It was too much. Under unbearable pressure, we exploded.

One of the teachers opened with a salvo about the terrible, contradictory communication and chaos. She ended with, “The 4:30 dismissal time has got to go.”

Our “offer letters” (we don’t have contracts) specified our roles and hours. We all got paid for eight hours a day while the company enforced nine-hour days—and most teachers worked longer to barely keep up with the crushing workload. All year, the workers had expressed disgust with these policies. Several times, workers took direct action against them. Most of the time, teachers just refused to do the bullshit busy work admin gave out, and the company couldn’t do much about it. Thanks, Great Resignation.

Another worker, an English Language Learner specialist, demanded to know if support staff who’d been thrown into different roles, sometimes multiple times a day, would be paid for their extra work. The director kept sidestepping our questions. He said to get paid, they needed to pull the records from the overflowing staff group chat, where people begged for classroom coverage all year. Several workers then pointed out that this group chat, owned by the former principal, was deleted. He had no answer for us, and we knew it. Even though we were on Zoom, I could feel the rage bubbling up. The school’s social worker then cut the higher-up off, “You all have come into a community dealing with immense trauma without thinking about what the community needs at all. Where is the support from this company? We only see y’all once a month!” 

This had been something that agitated everyone on the shop floor all year: the company flew a couple of rich white people into DC for two days each month, then straight back home. She laid into them for five more minutes.

As she talked, and as several teachers came off mute to support her and launch into their own tirades, I realized this was an opportunity to unite the staff and build power. I’d built up a committee in the first few months of the school year that took some direct actions. But without a proper formalized structure beyond a group chat, the committee only represented my immediate coworkers, and ultimately dissipated as understaffing at our school got worse and worse. It had felt like many workers at the school were content to take it on the chin and keep moving. That was incorrect. A deep rage extended across every grade band and role.

The task I’d struggled with was building a formal committee that met outside work hours. With the help of two external organizers from the IWW’s DC, Maryland, and Virginia Education Workers Organizing Committee and the Southern Coordinating Committee throughout the year, I accumulated the knowledge and skills I needed to do that. Here was an opportunity to apply that knowledge.

I noticed that several people had replied to the email the early elementary teacher sent, expressing anger and betrayal.

I hopped into the thread and sent a message venting my own feelings and asking if anyone wanted to form a group chat to discuss how to make a change in the workplace. Along with that, I whipped up a google form asking for contact info and platform preference—about ten people filled it out. 

Workers were still on the meeting yelling at the regional director, by the way. The meeting was supposed to end by 10:00 am. It was now 10:30. Our office assistant took the mic.

“The old logo is still on the building, the same color scheme from before, too. How is this company going to support rebranding?”

The director shifted a little bit, seemingly uncomfortable with giving us information about how the company works, “the operations team helps, but really it’s up to the school board.”

The worker shot back, “We need an action item here. You said operations, does that mean the school leadership, the board, or the company makes that decision? I’m leaving so someone else needs to connect those dots.”

She received vocal and written support from staff, and kept pressing her demand until management caved and agreed to weekly meetings with worker input.

Soon, staff members turned to berate management for abandoning us. No counselor, no substitutes, and a stream of overworked, underpaid staff members running for the door had taken their toll. Our social worker spoke out again, “We desperately need a counselor. Why do we not have a counselor?”

“It all depends on enrollment, I’m sorry to say. That’s where the funding comes from, and with the school in a deficit, we can’t afford to backfill positions.”

One of the teachers—a 20-plus-year teaching veteran not to be played around with—took her turn to criticize not just the company, but the invisible board who hired them.

“I see where they’re all coming from. We felt like the stepchild of the company, like we were never a part of it as a school community. And it feels like that with the board, too. I feel like they never see the work teachers are doing in the building. We need to let the community back into the building to see what’s going on. We need a commitment to a counselor.”

“It all depends on enrollment…”

Meanwhile, I was setting up our committee’s group chat and collaborating with coworkers to set up the infrastructure to keep ourselves together over the summer. I gathered non-work contacts. 

The same teacher responded to the director’s vague answers: “We don’t know where any of this information comes from! Why is there no money? Are we non-profit or for-profit? I know y’all probably came into DC thinking this was a hot money-making market for you with all the charter schools. But you don’t seem to realize that these other charter companies at least offer more resources. Two Rivers, DC Prep, and Friendship do that, why not y’all?”

I called the company out for doing nothing to cover the school’s deficit. Enrollment numbers had dropped over the pandemic, meaning less funding from the DC government while expenses rose. The higher-up and I got into an exchange where he tried to evade my questions, and I kept bringing up the same points. He fell back to the same “it’s up to the board, government, and enrollment,” line, so I went back on mute to allow others to speak.

Two more staff members aired grievances about being thrown into different positions with no warning. At that point, it was 11:00, and the regional director claimed he had another meeting he had to join. I wonder what he said about us afterward.

There are a couple of lessons to draw from this experience. One is that having a formal committee that represents the workplace is essential. Two, spontaneous direct actions by workers can win gains and catalyze a solid organizing committee.

During the 2021-2022 school year, my coworkers and I were able to win certain concessions from management through loosely coordinated direct actions. For example, our ex-principal imposed an attendance policy that collectively punished the staff for the late arrivals of only a few (and those workers were only late consistently because of terrible conditions). Throughout the next day, groups of workers would go down to the office to protest—spurred on by everyone else cheering them on. We won.

Even so, most of the tangible organizing only happened in my department—the 3-5th grade instructional team. Within our own circle, we were strongly critical of the principal. Eventually, one of the 3rd-grade teachers even lead us in writing up a formal complaint against them. But after consolidating a committee representing K-2, 3-5, para-educators, and food service staff, I discovered there was a significant minority of staff who loved our principal and assistant principal. The two of them being fired was what agitated them enough to take action and join the committee in the first place. Without a formal workplace-wide committee, we couldn’t see that. I had to readjust my perspective.

Our spontaneous actions made a difference. This year, we have an official eight-hour workday, more robust curriculum support, and a seemingly much more competent leadership team. Less concretely, management has tread a lot more lightly around us. It’s obvious they want to do more to control and discipline their human capital stock, but can’t because they know we might bite back, and hard.

Not only that, but the committee I formed survived the summer, has a meeting schedule, and is actively gathering contacts in preparation for one-on-one conversations as I write this. Summer whittled us down from ten to five, but I had my first one-on-one just the other day, and management has started to act like their old selves again, so I’m predicting that will change soon.

Contact the IWW today if you want to start organizing at your job. Click here to read more about Rybin Z., the author and organizer.

[spencersawkward]

omg I’m so excited you’re on here and taking requests!! do you think you could do something like baby Spence losing his virginity to a close friend & it’s like adorable, goofy, fluffy smut bc he cannot get over the fact that he’s actually having sex with someone

I’VE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-- TURN IT UP!!!

on a serious note, i'm so glad you asked for this one bc i really wanna add a scene like this in the fic i'm working on rn. i'm v excited.

summary: when the secret of Spencer's virginity gets accidentally spilled in front of the whole team, reader goes to check on him.

word count: 5.6k

relationship: Fem!Reader/Spencer Reid

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, fluff.

masterlist

hanging out with the team is easily the best part of the week. after spending days in Arizona with our focus entirely on the most recent case, my mind is practically ready to snap. I feel like I've been running on fumes, and when Penelope suggested we take the evening to hit our favorite bar, I was practically already out the door.

so now I'm sandwiched between JJ and Emily as we throw back our first shots of the night. my skin is already flushed with the elation of laughter, the pleasant thrum of conversation that surrounds us.

"that's bitter." JJ makes a face when she slams the empty glass on the table. I screw up my nose.

"why did we pick vodka?" I hate vodka.

"it gets the job done." Emily laughs. I shudder at the aftertaste that sits on my tongue.

Morgan wanders over, Pen on his arm while she totes a brightly colored pink alcohol. they're flirting as usual, but she pauses in her witticisms to grab my arm.

"we're playing truth or shot in that booth over there." she says to me, then gets the attention of the other two women. I let out a disbelieving laugh.

"truth or shot? like truth or dare but without the dare?"

"Reid, is that you?" Morgan says sarcastically. I slug him in the arm with a pout.

"be nice." but I'm giggling. he loops his arm through mine and we head back to the table, Penelope already starting a new conversation with JJ and Prentiss as they follow. Spencer is sitting in the booth with an Arnold Palmer, sipping from the straw like it's his job. I slide into the spot next to him.

"hi, you." I smile. "I haven't seen you at all tonight."

he holds up his glass. "I don't really drink."

"that's fine," I wave it off. "I just meant I wanted to hang out with you."

"oh." he smiles a little. "sorry."

"no big deal. you're here now." I shrug and turn to Pen as she calls my name.

"I'm gonna order a bottle. that okay?" she points to the bar with a mischievous smile. glancing once at Spencer and his slightly awkward position between Morgan and me, I make a snap decision.

"you know what? I think I'll just have a lemonade."

"you sure? Jayge said you spent the whole plane ride back talking about getting wasted--" Penelope's words cause a blush to spread over my face. I cut her off.

"I'm sure. thanks, Penny."

she nods. "of course, sweet cheeks."

I focus back on Reid, who is looking at me gratefully. he would never say it out loud, but I know he feels a little out-of-place sometimes. it's hard enough for him to come out with us to bars; the least I can do is be a sober friend. I open my mouth to start a conversation about an article I read the other day when Prentiss speaks.

"okay, so... who's ready?" her voice, always so certain, carries over the table. all of us make enthusiastic noises of assent, and she grins as Penelope returns with an armful of glasses. Derek gets up to grab the actual alcohol, and then when we're all settled in, the game begins.

"the rules are simple: you tell the truth, or you drink!" the tech analyst explains. the stakes for Spencer and me are lower, but that doesn't really matter. I'm excited to hear the team divulge their secrets.

"I'll start." Prentiss doesn't even hesitate before she looks at Morgan. "Derek, are you still sleeping with that one woman from sex crimes?"

Morgan raises his eyebrows at the question, irises flitting between Emily and the rim of his drink. there's a slight smirk on his face; he knows what a player he is and he's okay with flaunting it.

"Ally? no." he sighs. "things didn't end well between us."

"what? why?" I ask, eyes widening before I look around at everyone. "who is this woman?"

"cool your jets, sparky." Morgan teases me. "only one question per round."

"I'll tell you later." Prentiss raises her drink in my direction and winks.

"uh, no no." Morgan attempts to stop her, but JJ interrupts him.

"speaking of things not ending well," she says loudly. "Pen, why did you and Sam break up?"

"well," Penelope sticks her tongue between her teeth as she thinks it over with a devilish smile. her lips are a ruby red tonight, bright against her pale skin and big eyes. "to be completely honest, he just wasn't... doin' it for me. you know?"

"like--?" Emily glances down at her lap. Pen nods quickly and I snicker. JJ looks awestruck.

"I thought it was going so well."

"it was, but..." Penelope seems to genuinely think this over before she speaks. "if it's right, it just clicks. and it never clicked with Sam."

"profound." I compliment, high-fiving the high-energy blonde. we giggle before she turns to me with a glint in her eye.

"oh, do I have a plan for you," she smirks. "tell me, Y/N: if you had to sleep with one person on our team, who would it be?"

"women included?" I clarify, my cheeks suddenly on fire. how come everyone got easy questions except for me? I'm really just biding time.

"of course." she nudges my shoulder. I mull this over for a minute. I could say the truth, but I don't think that would be the right thing to do. however ironic that is. given the situation, I do something which I have never been good at and which I don't enjoy doing: I lie.

"although all of you are catches," I preface. "I think I would probably pick Emily."

Prentiss almost chokes on her own spit as her head snaps to see my face.

"me?" she asks.

"low-pressure fun." I shrug, the stress of the moment rolling off my shoulders with the ensuing laughter of my team members. Spencer takes a sip of his drink and peeks at me from his spot before I focus my attention to JJ.

we go on like this for a while, our original plan of "truth or drink" really just turning into a game of "truth and drink." as our laughter gets progressively louder, our questions and answers get progressively more provocative. we get into risky territory towards the fourth round, and I can practically feel Spencer's discomfort radiating off of him. thank god everyone has been taking it easier on him with their questions.

that is, until Morgan hits about five shots and decides to throw him to the wolves.

"so, Reid," he asks. there's no malice in his tone and I'm sure he's not meaning to embarrass the boy genius, but the question makes me wince anyways. "have we made any progress on the virginity front?"

it's like a fucking pall over the table. Reid goes rigid in his spot, and JJ's protective eyes dart between him and Morgan. Penelope's jaw drops.

"wait, Reid, you're a--?" her voice is tender, not judgmental, but Spencer's cheeks turn pink and he looks at Derek with a hurt expression.

"not cool." he says, body shifting in my direction. his eyes communicate everything; without a word, I know what he wants. I scoot out of the booth, letting him slip by me to walk outside.

truly, I'm speechless. we all stare at his lanky frame push through the door, but nobody talks until at least fifteen seconds pass.

"what the hell was that, Morgan?" JJ asks.

"I thought everyone knew--" he throws his hands up. "I swear I wouldn't have said anything if--"

"why would everyone know that?" I feel myself get angry for Spencer's sake. "that's an incredibly personal thing, especially to him."

"that wasn't you, my love." Penelope's voice is soft, sobered by the incident that just occurred. the playful air at the table is officially ruined, and we keep glancing at the doorway like Reid will come back in and everything will be fine. he doesn't.

"I'm gonna go apologize." Morgan starts to get up, seemingly beginning to realize the weight of his words. it's one thing to ask about Reid's sex life in general; it's another to point out specifically the entire absence of it. Spencer doesn't seem to be bothered by most things, but this is different. my heart hurts.

we watch Morgan go, the women all looking at each other with worried expressions.

"I feel bad." Penelope says.

"y'know, Spence never told me that." JJ observes.

"he really trusts Morgan." Prentiss says what we're all thinking. Morgan has always been like a big brother to him, and being embarrassed in front of your co-workers like that can't be a pleasant feeling.

we sit in a relative silence for about five minutes until Morgan walks back into the bar. he pulls out his wallet and pays for the drinks, then walks over to us.

"I'm gonna go for a walk. do you need me to call you all cabs?" he asks. those dramatic brows are drawn low over his face, emphasizing his regret. I look between my friends and clear my throat.

"it's okay. I only had one shot about an hour and a half ago. I can drive everyone home."

"okay," Morgan sighs, his head turning briefly to the door before focusing back on us. "drive safe, ladies."

and then he's gone.

"you guys ready?" I start to shrug my jacket on. they all nod and we get ready to go.

...

sitting in my apartment later that night, my head is swimming. even though it's none of my business what happens in Spencer's sex life, I wish I could tell him that it's okay. nobody cares at all if he's a virgin or not. but I know it's still embarrassing.

I hate that I lied earlier tonight, too. I wanted to say Spencer's name when they asked who I wanted, because I meant it. we're close, and I will always love him as a friend. but I've also always wanted more.

nobody, not even any of the other BAU women, know about my crush. I didn't want it to get in the way, or for it to come out and ruin my friendship with Reid. he doesn't like me like that, and that's fine, but what's not fine is not having him as my friend.

he was the first person I really connected with when I came here, and I feel a little protective over him, too.

once the clock hits eleven, I consider calling. he’s definitely not asleep yet. Spencer is a night owl. normally at this time he'd be curled up with a huge book, reading impossibly fast.

when he picks up on the third ring, the air leaves my lungs.

"Y/N?" he asks, more surprised than anything else.

"hey, Spence--" I hesitate, suddenly not sure what to say. sorry Morgan told everyone you're a fucking virgin? “do you wanna come over?"

maybe if I see him face-to-face, I'll be able to collect my thoughts better. the words hang in the air, festering over the line until I'm just about to take them back, before he replies.

"y-yeah. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

my hands are shaking at my side when I open the door for the tall genius. he's still wearing his outfit from earlier, hair slicked back like normal. I've settled for my usual sweatpants and t-shirt winning combo. it's not like he cares.

"hey." I smile, trying to read his micro expressions. there are two possible outcomes here, knowing him: either he's going to be totally, completely over it, or he'll be able to write a War-and-Peace-length book on why he's upset.

"hi." he gives a wan smile and I let him into my apartment, closing the door behind him and gesturing to the couch.

"I missed this place." he says absently, looking around at the mess of decor and case files. I snort as I recall the last time he was here. he wanted to borrow a book that I had, and we ended up watching an entire docu-series about homing pigeons. it was surprisingly interesting; mostly because his commentary is both informative and funny.

"it missed you." I anthropomorphize my living space, but the phrase hangs heavy. I'm worried about him. I'm always worried about Spencer. he turns to look at me, opening his mouth to say something. I brush past him and walk into the kitchen. "coffee?"

"sure." he follows me like a lost puppy, leaning against the counter while I pull out two mugs and get to work.

"hey," I pause for a moment to look him in the eyes. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry-- about what happened... tonight."

"oh, that?" he scoffs, waves it off unconvincingly. "it's fine."

I raise my brows the slightest bit, never breaking eye contact. he wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to talk about it. he cracks easily.

"it's just embarrassing, you know?" he says, staring out my kitchen window to alleviate his own nerves. I gesture for him to follow me back into the living room and I sit down criss-cross applesauce on the couch. he mirrors me, kicking off those cute black Converse.

"I don't think the fact itself is embarrassing, but I totally get why it feels that way. he shouldn't have said anything." I nod.

"like, that's personal. a-and--" he hesitates a moment, gesticulating wildly now. "and it's not like he's got any right! at least I don't go around with so many girls that I forget their names."

the thought of Reid sleeping with that many women is a little bit funny, but it also makes my stomach twist with jealousy.

"did he apologize?"

"yeah, he did. and he was drunk, I know." he rolls his eyes. "I'm overreacting."

"no, really, you're not." without thinking, I scoot closer to him and place my hand over his, which is sitting on his knee. I remember that Spencer is usually pretty averse to touch, but when I move it back to my lap, he seems a little disappointed. I wonder if he gets lonely.

"is it weird?" the question sounds raw, like he's mustering a lot to hear my response. I shake my head immediately.

"well, for one, Spence, I would never judge anyone based on their sex life, period." I chuckle. "and two, no way! if you aren't into having sex at this point in your life-- or ever-- that's totally your choice and you're entitled to it."

his eyes meet mine, pools of honeyed hazel that swim with a slightly amber shade. his face is so pretty, it's sometimes unbelievable to me that he doesn't get more action. bone structure that would make a sculpture envious.

"that's the thing," he licks his lips nervously before averting his gaze again. "I am interested-- I just don't-- well, I don't--"

"don't have someone to do it with?" I suggest with a slight smile. he nods, then clarifies.

"girls don't really seem to be interested in me."

I let out a laugh, unable to contain myself. his head jerks up to frown in confusion. I’m quick to amend myself.

"Spence, that's not true at all. you're such a catch! you're sweet and funny and way smarter than anyone I know. not to mention that you're adorable." I compliment, letting some of the thoughts I've been keeping to myself bubble to the surface. "any girl would be beyond lucky to be with you, sexually or not." Spencer blushes at my words, but the squirming in his spot tells me that it makes him feel warm inside. he smiles a little.

"you think?" it's genuine. he appreciates being praised, and it makes my heart flutter when he gives me that expression like I've made his night.

"I know." more of what I want to say rolls around my mind, unsure of whether or not I should admit it. but I think that right now, it'll only serve to make him feel better. "actually, I should tell you something."

"what?" he's curious now.

"when we were at the bar and Penelope asked who I'd be with... on the team... I lied."

"okay." he nods, somehow not connecting the dots. I guess it doesn't matter if they've got enormous IQs; boys are still clueless.

"I was gonna say you." the truth presses from the inside out, lifting a weight off my chest now that it's out there. even if he doesn't return that feeling, I'm suddenly glad that I told him.

"me?" he gestures to his narrow chest. I nod.

"yeah. I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable or embarrass you in front of our friends." I explain. he breaks into a grin.

"thanks." like I've given him something. I feel myself smiling as well, and then we're just looking at each other. tension that neither of us is willing to break. as much as I'd like to take him right here right now, he hasn't said anything about actually having sex or even about being attracted to me. for all I know, he could be completely indifferent.

"listen, Spence--"

"would you be willing to--" we speak at the same time, both of us stopping and laughing awkwardly.

"sorry, you go first." I offer, and he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

"would you want to... um..." he scratches the back of his neck before his eyes meet mine. "try it?"

"sex?" I raise my eyebrows. he nods. I try to find the right response. that’s more assertive than I expected. my pulse is fast, daring me to tell the truth. "I mean-- yes, I would love to-- but are you sure you want it to be with me, Spence? what about a girl that you like?"

"you are a girl that I like." he says this like it's matter-of-fact, like it's obvious. my heart stops in my chest before it starts to hammer.

"really?" a smile makes its way onto my face.

"I thought you knew."

"no." I laugh. my chest is full of sunlight.

"well, you are."

there's a brief silence where I try to get myself back on track. he likes me, too.

"are you sure you want to do this?" I glance at the space between our bodies, which has grown steadily smaller over the course of our conversation. Spencer is watching my every move with an intensity that tells me he's nervous.

"yes." he's unwavering.

"okay, well, you've kissed girls, right?" I inch closer. he nods.

"one."

"oh, Spencer," I sigh contentedly. "I have so much to teach you."

right after I say this, Spencer shifts uncomfortably in his seat. it's only then that I notice his hand covering his lap, the erection that's forming beneath his pants. my eyes flick up to his hungrily.

"sorry." he apologizes.

"don't be." our faces are inches apart and he's practically holding his breath. "I'm gonna kiss you. is that okay?"

"yes." he replies immediately. I place my hands gently on the side of his face, admiring the softness and sharpness of his jaw when I pull him to me, kissing him with a suppressed desire. his mouth is soft against mine, a little anxious to move. after a moment, he starts to relax.

his lips part and I deepen our contact, tilting my head and keeping it mostly mild at first. I don't want to shove my tongue down his throat. our knees are touching and his hand hesitantly finds my waist, the other going to run through my hair. I sigh into him, his fingertips a new sensation that I adore.

Spencer begins to give in a bit more to himself, asserting himself in the kiss and slipping his tongue over my bottom lip. I almost laugh at how quickly he gets the hang of it. he reads my body language effortlessly, not even skipping a beat when I climb into his lap and lace my arms around his neck.

"is this okay?" I pull away momentarily. he nods.

"you're so pretty." an unrelated response, but appreciated nonetheless. I laugh and peck his nose.

"thanks." and then we're back to making out, his hands resting on the small of my back. it's nice. I could stay like this forever, just pressed against Spencer while my fingers thread through his soft hair. he's cautious with me, and it's innocent.

I can feel his boner, can feel from the eagerness of his kisses that he's trying not to bring up the fact that he's literally just throbbing in his pants right now. in order to give him a little of what he wants, I start to rock my hips against his.

Spencer whimpers into my mouth. I stop and look down at him.

"do you want me to stop?"

"no, god, no— never stop." he's mindless in his reply, already grabbing my hips greedily and trying to regain that friction. I shake my head with a chuckle, then resume my actions. he starts to rut up against me, groaning into our embrace while his hands get more adventurous.

I withdraw, breaking the kiss to straighten up. he doesn't stop the microscopic pushes of his hips. I bite back a smile, enjoying the friction, too.

"do you wanna take my clothes off, Spence?" I ask softly.

"y-yes." he replies, gingerly taking the hem of my top and beginning to lift it over my head. when he places it on the couch beside me, his eyes immediately fall to my bra. slender fingers run up my bare waist, his watch glinting in the candlelight. when he doesn't immediately reach to unclasp my bra, I grab his wrist and guide it to the clasps myself. he moves with a surprising ease, unsnapping the thing and grazing over my skin as he slides the straps down my shoulders. I can tell that he’s shaking a tad, but it doesn’t hinder him.

the second that he's discarded the lingerie, he looks up at me with moony eyes.

"can I... kiss you?" he looks at my bare chest. "here?"

"of course, Spence." I nod. he presses his lips to the space between my ribs, drags them up to the valley between my breasts. lingers, then attaches himself to one of my nipples. I sigh, throwing my head back at the way he moves intuitively, sucking and running his tongue over the peak. he squeezes the other breast, plays with the nipple and starts to acquaint himself with the curves of my body.

the whole time, he's straining against my core, rutting helplessly in pleasure. it feels heavenly, with that sweet face of his so devoted to making me feel good, that I nearly stray from the purpose of the experience.

"Spencer..." I breathe. he moans at the sound of his name, then looks up at me from his place sucking on my tits. his teeth graze of my skin and I buck into his lap, causing him to groan appreciatively. my fingers tangle in his soft hair.

"Y/N," he pulls away from my chest, his lips making a soft popping sound. I gaze down at him, a bit lost in the fantasies running through my head. he's a natural. "can we, um-- like, expedite this process a little?"

"expedite the process?” I repeat back to him, giggling at his formality.

"what?" his voice goes up an octave, but he's smiling. "you know what I mean."

"I really do." I lean down, pressing my thumb into his jaw and angling his face up to mine to kiss. while his hands curiously move over my body, I start to push down the waistband of my sweatpants. I break contact just for a moment to peel them off, and he releases a quiet whine. it's cute.

"come back." he says softly, watching as I slide the bottoms down my legs, leaving me in my panties.

"I'm back." I peck his cheek, climb into his lap again. "can we take off your clothes, too?"

"mhmm." he nods. his lips part when my fingers work at the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with a torturous slowness. I can feel his eyes on my face the whole time.

"what?" I chuckle, peeking up at him for a moment before I pull his shirt open and run my palms up his chest, over his shoulders. he nearly shudders at the sheer touch.

"I just can't believe this is actually happening." he smiles in that way of his, like he's suppressing the depth of his emotions, with his brows slightly raised. I take the opportunity to enjoy the sight of him before me, his rapidly rising and falling chest, the smoothness of his skin.

"honestly?" I start to unbutton his pants, and he jerks up into my hand, blushing once he realizes the earnestness of his actions. I smirk encouragingly. "me, neither."

before I pull down his boxers, my eyes flick to his. "is this still okay?"

"Y/N," he groans. "if you don't do something, I'm gonna cum too early." he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment when my hand moves over his clothed erection, like he's holding on. "please."

"sorry." I release him from the confines. it hits his stomach and he waits for my reaction, as if he's afraid that I'll change my mind right now. but I'm definitely not going to. "holy fuck, Spencer."

"what?" he panics slightly, sitting up more. "is it not enough?"

"not enou--" I stutter, almost laugh. "no, it's plenty. I had no idea..."

"oh." he hides the pleased smile on his face, blush spreading over his pretty throat. in the interest of "expediting the process," I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and gently pump him.

Spencer's stomach tenses and he grabs onto the cushion of the couch with a tight fist, sighing.

"mmm..." he doesn't try to word his emotions, but I know. and I like that I'm making him feel this way, sharing this experience. Spencer and I are such close friends, I never thought we'd actually have sex. my assumption was that I'd watch him grow into himself, find a nice girl and treat her like a queen.

but here I am, spitting into my hand before jerking him off to prepare for what’s next. he’s throbbing, sounds coming from his throat.

"I'm gonna sit on it, okay?" I lean down to whisper in his ear. he touches my waist, my neck, kisses a random spot on my chest in the waves of pleasure that I'm giving him.

"o-okay." he mumbles, waiting for me to actually do it. and there's a moment of tense anticipation between both of us, when I sit up and pull my panties to the side. Spencer watches like I'm the only thing in the world, saving the memory of my body on top of his for later.

I run the head of his cock along my entrance, soaking him in the wetness between my thighs. I didn't realize how turned on I'd already gotten, and he lets out a quiet whine when he feels the evidence of how much I want him.

our eyes lock when I sink down. it's a new feeling for him, and the shape of his member as it stretches my walls causes me to bite my lip to withhold moaning too loudly. he whimpers, neck tensing and fingertips digging into my hips.

"o-oh." he sucks in a breath as I reach the halfway point. he's so big, I have to go slow in order not to overwhelm myself. but it feels good, too. like... unbelievably good. I grip onto his shoulders and my head falls forward into his shoulder.

"Spencer, holy shit." I moan.

"does it feel nice?" he asks, concerned for my own pleasure. I feel my chest flutter at the thoughtfulness of the boy wonder even when he's in the midst of losing his virginity, and I lower myself onto the rest of him.

"mhmm," I rest for a moment. "how do you feel?"

"like--" his breath hitches when I begin to rock back and forth on him. "like I've been missing out."

I can't help the giggle that slips past my lips, but then it quickly turns into a longing moan when he starts to thrust up into me like a helpless thing. Spencer is brilliant, but his brain cells go out the window when he throws his head back and begs me to move more.

I nod, raising and lowering myself until we reach a special pace. it's not fast or slow, just the two of us trying to stay in the moment while we hold on tightly to each other. I can feel the cool metal of his watch when he splays his hand out over my spine, the warmth of his breath while he pants against my shoulder.

he hits my g-spot over and over. my moans are torn from my throat by the burning of my lungs. it's like I can't breathe because I'm so focused on chasing the orgasm building in my stomach. and Spencer... I can tell he's almost finished.

the erratic nature of his jerking body tells me.

"I'm gonna cum..." he moans into my neck. "do- do you want me to pull out?"

"no." I arch my back and throw myself into the friction of our bodies. he stares up at me while I ride him, the merciless grinding of my hips because I just can't help myself. "oh my god, Spencer."

he notices how close I am and, in a surprisingly deft move, slides two fingers over my pussy to find my clit. the ensuing noise from me tells him that he's found it, and he begins to rub in quick circles. it's rough and hard, but that's exactly what I need right now.

"cum for me, Spence." I breathe. his free hand grips onto my thigh and pulls me over him, his own words unintelligible within the sounds of absolute pleasure.

"please." he begs for something I don't know, spills his seed inside of my pussy and holds onto me like I'm an anchor to this world while he peers into the next. the feeling of him spreading through my stomach, along with the reckless movements of his limbs and the way he looks at me while he rides out his orgasm, sends me over the edge.

"oh my fuck!" I collapse, grabbing his shoulders tightly and rolling myself down while he removes his fingers from my body. it's jarring, the intensity, like my normal functions can't respond correctly. all I can process is the tightening of my stomach, the pleasure between my legs, vision going slightly fuzzy at the edges. he moans when my cunt flutters around him, the muscles trying desperately to hold him here with me forever. I take deep breaths and slow down, my forehead dropping again while I start to remember my own name.

neither of us speaks. I think I'm still too in shock about what just happened, but in the best way. he keeps running his hands over my skin, then wraps his arms around my torso so that I'm pulled against his chest. I smile, kissing his ear before I finally break the silence.

"hi."

"hi." he's got a satisfied tone.

"do you need anything? water?" I ask, exhausted but realizing that this is still new for Spencer and it's my job to make sure he's as comfortable as possible. he nuzzles his nose into my clavicle and squeezes me tighter.

"stay here with me." there's a slight edge to his words. he's afraid of me leaving. I snuggle down, perfectly happy to remain. heat radiates from his skin, and I like the way it feels.

"of course."

we linger in each other’s arms, both of us coming back into the real world and holding on in an attempt to soften the blow. I just had sex with Spencer.

"thank you." he whispers into my hair.

"for what?" the smile on my face is lazy.

"for doing this."

"well, I really wanted to." I laugh. "so, I guess, thank you, too."

"you're quite welcome." his response is cheerful and then we're both laughing, the sound rumbling from his chest. "can we do it again at some point?"

"I would be happy to." I beam. the contented sigh that leaves his lips, followed by a slight sinking of our bodies down the couch in collective exhaustion, fills me with a joy that's quiet but obvious.

“I’ll last longer next time, I promise.” he says. I can practically hear the blush in his cheeks.

“you did amazing, Spence. don’t worry about it.” I press a few stray kisses to him.

I'll need to go clean up, soon, but it can wait a few more minutes. this is my favorite place on earth.

[moonice20408]

Thirty-Six Months Part 2

Pairing: Spencer Reid x FemReader

Category: Mostly angst

Summary: Continuation from Part One

Content Warning: Basic episode stuff and spoilers for seasons 8-11.

Word Count: 8371

A/N: Sorry to those who were waiting over a month for this, I wasn’t originally planning to do a part 2 so didn’t have a plan on where it was going to go, or what was going to happen. Hope it was worth the wait. Probably typos. Not my gif.

36 Months ago, you’d hit the ground running.

Which you convinced yourself was a good thing. It meant you were too busy to think about recent events, and could occupy yourself with all the new things. New job, new co-workers, new city. New streets, and coffee shops and take out restaurants. Enough new to keep your mind off the old. You needed new. New was good.

So you kept telling yourself.

You’re new team were super welcoming, and you felt you were settling in to the group nicely. Turns out, two former members of the team had left, quite recently, hence the need for an immediate transfer. One retired, and the other leaving for personal reasons. The team had shared a look when telling you that, and you felt it best not to pry. Therefore, that meant there was plenty for you to help catch up on, so you were constantly busy, and had no time to dwell on personal matters.

You had a new apartment. Smaller than your last, but you liked it. It was close to work, and had a pretty decent view. You spent a lot of time decorating, and rearranging. Maybe more than you needed to. But again, it kept your mind off everything.

Mostly.

There was that constant, hollow feeling in your chest. Which, for a week or so, was easy to ignore. You put on a smile for work, not mentioning the reason you decided to move units, just saying you wanted to pursue a different path. But it felt like the more you disregarded it, the heavier it started to feel. And after a long day, when you were to tired too ignore it, the emptiness just grew and took over. Yes, new was what you needed right now. But you missed the old. You missed Penelope’s smile, and Derek’s jokes. JJ’s advice. You even missed the way Hotch looked sternly down at you all when the bullpen was getting a little disruptive. You missed girls nights, dinner at Rossi’s and eating takeout late at night around a cramped table in some tiny police precinct in the middle of nowhere.

You missed home.

And then you’d think of him, and then it was all just anger and hurt and embarrassment.

He’d tried to call you the day you left for New York. But you shut your phone off after the second attempt, and he hadn’t tried again since.

The others had tried too, and had left messages or texts when you didn’t answer them either. Which you did feel guilty about. They hadn’t done anything wrong.  Penelope had text you a lot. To start with, asking if you were okay, and telling you she was there if you wanted to talk. After a week of nothing, she switched tactics and it was just things like a picture of the cupcake she’d brought, or some random thought she’d had. And honestly, that helped. She was still there, waiting for you to reach out when you were ready.

Now, tucked up in bed, looking at the last picture she sent you this morning, you decided you’d actually ring her back tomorrow. Just to let her know you’d settled in, maybe tell her she should come and see the new place.

 35 months ago, you had a few days off.

You’d planned to get all your errands done and out of the way in the morning, and relax a little before going back to work. And everything was going to plan till Penelope’s name popped up on your phone.

She had insisted the two of you not lose contact, and made you promise the two of you would chat at least once a week. Sometimes it’s just about life in general, sometimes to vent after a stressful day at work. So far the pair of you had managed to avoided a certain sensitive subject, and you were intent on keeping that way.

“Hey Pen.” You answered, taking a seat on the couch.

“Yeah… Hi.” Her voice was quiet and unsure.

You sat up straight. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” She answered quickly. “Well, not nothing. We’re all okay! Sort off. It’s just, um, something happened, and it feels like something I should tell you, but at the same time I don’t know if you’d want to know. And I don’t want you to be upset or anything, especially since you’ve just had a whole fresh start and-”

“Penelope.” You stopped her rambling. There was an uneasy feeling in your chest.

“Sorry, it just… It’s… about Spencer.”

You took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“…And the woman he was writing.” He voice was quiet again.

Your body tensed, and you bit down on your tongue. Did you really want to know? She had just said you might not want to know… But if you ended the conversation now, you knew you’d be up all night with a hundred different situations running through your head… Though things had just started to get a little easier and talking about him would just set you back again.

Penelope’s voice interrupted you thoughts as she called your name.

Clearing your throat a little, you replied, “Yeah, I err…” You sighed. “What’s going on?” You asked anxiously. If she didn’t think you needed to know, she wouldn’t have called.

“So… Well, her name was Maeve Donovan. Reid came to us the other day, adamant she was in trouble.”

She paused long enough for you to see where this was going already. “Was her name?” You whispered.

“Yeah... She, err, she’s dead. She died last night.”

Your breath hitched, and your whole body tensed. You opened your mouth to say something, but what could you say to that? It felt like your mind was racing, but you couldn’t tell what it was trying to figure out.

“What, um… What happened?” You pinched the bridge between your eyes, and dragged your hand down your face as you fell back into the couch.

Penelope told you everything. Maeve had a stalker, which is why she had insisted those letters be under fake names. Spencer had made plans to meet her in person. He got a suspicious call on a payphone. The team had managed to figure out who she was, where she was. Spencer had tried to save her.

And she was shot in front of him the first time he saw her.

“I wasn’t there, obviously, so I’m not sure exactly what happened. Morgan called me after he got Spencer home.”

You hadn’t spoken the entire time she talked. What were you supposed to say? And how were you even meant to feel about it? You couldn’t quite bring yourself to be sad about her death, as awful as that was. It’s not like you knew her, or would ever want to know her. And you’d spent the past month blaming this woman for ruining your life.

But she was still dead. And you weren’t a monster. As much as you hated the stranger, you could never be glad someone was gone.

You’d spend hours at night pondering who that woman could be. How could someone be that much more appealing to your boyfriend, despite the fact he’d never even met her? He didn’t even know her name! To start with, you had the image of the worst person in the world. Who does that to someone? Just waltz in and take the man you pictured your whole future with! You’d remembered Spencer saying she was a geneticist and had thought about figuring out who she was just so you could report her for having inappropriate relations with a patient and get her sacked out of nowhere.

It dawned on you then, that Spencer had definitely not mentioned you.

She had absolutely no idea who you were. She was probably really nice and really pretty, and was obviously super smart, and of course she would be into Spencer, cause why wouldn’t she?

“You still there?” Penelope’s voice pulled you back from your thoughts.

“Yeah.” You sighed. “Sorry, I just…”

“Yeah…” She replied quietly. “You gonna be okay? I know this is probably the last you what to talk about or thought was gonna happen, but honestly everyone’s found this weird. Like we’re all still super mad at him, but… looking into her life… It feels weird.”

You scoffed. “Yeah. Weird’s the word.”

“Right, sorry. More weird for you I’m sure.” She quickly resorted.

You smirked a little at that, before letting out a sigh.

“You still got tomorrow off work?” You’d mentioned the few days off to her when you talked last.

You huffed a small laugh, knowing what she was about to suggest. “Yup.”

“Cause Hotch gave us a few days off too, so I was thinking if you wanted to talk some more about stuff..? Or not talk about it. Either way… wine.”

“Wine sounds good.”

“I’ll book a flight now.”

 31 months ago, the BAU was in New York.

You were just finishing up at work when you got a text from JJ, asking if you were free for dinner that night. Sending back a slightly confused response, she told you the team had a case, and she’d kick herself if she didn’t take the opportunity to come see you. You smiled at that, and the two of you agreed on a time and place.

Rounding the corner to the restaurant, you spotted JJ already waiting outside.

“JJ!” You sped up a little.

She turned with a big grin and met you have way with a tight hug.

“Ah, it’s so good to see you again!”

“You too.” You beamed, pulling back.

The pair of you made your way inside and were seated at a small table.

“So what’s the case?” You asked her.

“Ugh,” She shook her head. “Get this, Hotch is actually taking a proper vacation for the first time in forever, and he gets a call from his brother about this-”

“Hang on.” You stopped her. “I’ve known you how long now, and no one’s ever mentioned that Hotch has a brother?”

She chuckled at you, and raised her eyebrows. “They’ve not talked for a very long time.”

By the time your food arrived, JJ had given you a rundown of the first time she’d seen Sean in the office arguing with Hotch, and told you everything she knew about the rocky relationship. She continued into how he rang Hotch in the middle of the night about an overdose case that linked back to a woman he’d seeing. You’d heard about the death at the nightclub, and there had been talks of some new drug on the streets, but you hadn’t had time to look into the details yourself. JJ asked about your work too, and you told her all about the team, and the mountain of paperwork still on your desk. Some things would never change.

Deciding to shift the conversation from work, you asked about Henry. And she was more than willing to show you pictures from the last few month, updating you on everything he’d done and how he’d grown.

Then she shifted the conversation.

“What about you though? Anything, or anyone we should know about?”

“JJ.” You whined.

“What? Garcia keeps us up to date, and all you talk about is work. We’re worried.” She raised a brow at you.

You sighed, and pushed around the food on your plate. She had a point, outside of work you kept to yourself as much as possible. You went to the gym alone, grabbed coffee alone… You’d joined your colleagues for a drink a few times, but you were the first to leave when you had.

“I’m fine.” You defended.

JJ just stared at you.

“Okay, maybe I’m not great. But I’m better than what I was. It’s just hard, y’know.” JJ nodded. “It’s not like I wanted to leave.” You mumbled.

“Hotch would bring you back in a heartbeat if you asked.” She told you.

You gave a small, sad smile. “I can’t JJ. It wouldn’t be the same. Everything hurt… Then when I at the very least got into a routine, Penelope called and told me about… all of… that… And then it all hurt again, and I just angry and confused… And it just felt like everything was for nothing, y’know?”

She reached over and rubbed your arm that was resting on the table.

Biting your lip, you met her gaze. “How is he?”

JJ hesitated for a second, before living her shoulders slightly. “He’s…Spencer.” She said, which was an answer in itself. “He hardly spoke to anyone when you left.”

You gave a small scoff. It was his fault in the first place, why should he get to be upset about it?

“Morgan and Garcia were pretty tough on him for a few weeks.” She carried on. “Then Hotch is calling us all in about a missing woman that no one knew anything about. And, well you know what happened. And then he just shut down. Didn’t see or hear from him for weeks… Then when he did come back… he just acted like nothing had happened. Just straight back to work, and dodged every question.”

Yeah, sounded about right.

You let out a deep sigh, and decided you were done talking about Spencer.

“What about the others? How they all doing?”

 30 months ago, you saw him.

At a funeral of all places.

It was Hotch who had called last week to tell you Erin Strauss had been killed. You had sat in silent disbelief as he explained how quickly everything had happened in the city after the case involving his brother. A month before you left the BAU, you’d been told about a copycat how had sewn the mouth of his victims shut, like that of The Silencer. But nothing more ever came of it. However, turns out, after you left, another string of killings had been recreated, and it appeared someone was targeting the team.

Pretty much the entire time you had been in New York, the team had been investigating this along with their other cases. Last week it had led to John Curtis, who was now also dead.

You gave Hotch your condolences, and asked him to pass the sentiment onto the rest of the team. Especially Rossi. He thanked you, and told you he’d get the funeral information to you when it was all arranged.

The day of the funeral, you had gotten up early and got a plane to Virginia, and a cab to Penelope’s place. There was a strange lingering feeling you couldn’t quite name. You weren’t close to Strauss. Thinking about it, you were pretty sure you never had a conversation with her without someone else there too. Plus, any time she involved herself on a case, it just made it that much more difficult. The politics of the job was her top priority, and that clashed with the mentality of the team.

And yet, she was an iron willed woman, and you had to respect that. And yeah, there had been times she stuck her neck out. Even if it was only after Hotch spoke to her.

“Are you gonna say anything to Spencer?” Penelope’s voice pulled you from your thoughts as she walked back into the living room, changed and ready.

You rolled your eyes, standing from your spot on the couch. “Today isn’t about me and him.” You told her.

“I know, I know. But come on, it’s the first time you’re gonna see each other in person in, what, six months?”

“Seven almost.” You muttered, grabbing your coat. “I’m just here to pay my respects, and go again.”

The two of you had headed out and made your way to the office, where Rossi had organised the limos to pick everyone up.

Pulling up, you could see you were the last ones there. The rest of the team were gathered in a small circle in front of the building, and your heart ached to be back in that bullpen. Hotch seemed to be the first to notice you, and everyone else turned their heads.

And your heart ached even more.

You couldn’t take your eyes off Spencer, and you just hoped he couldn’t see you staring from inside the cab. Part of you just wanted to run to him, throw yourself around him and never let go again. The other part wanted to slap him.

Today’s not about me and him, you repeated in your head.

Sighing, you gave the driver some cash, and got out.

“Want me to stay with you?” Penelope asked quietly as you walked over.

You gave her a small nod, before looking up as Morgan made his way to you.

He had a little smile, and reach out to hug you.

You gladly accepted.

“Been a while.” He said, before pulling back.

“Yeah, too long.”

“We’re glad you could make it.” Rossi’s solemn voice come from beside you.

You placed a hand on his arm, and gave him a sad smile. He nodded, and his eyes dropped back down to what looked to be a small coin he held in his fingers.

“Let’s get going.” Hotch said, looking around the group.

Everyone made a move, and your eyes met with Spencer’s for a very brief second. You felt the air get sucked out of your lungs, and you tensed your jaw, before moving to look at Penelope instead.

She had turned Morgan and JJ towards one limo, then turned back to grab your arm. “Four to a car, your with us.”

“Penelope.” You tried to warn, but it was never any use trying to argue with her. As you were taking a seat, you caught sight of Blake pat Spencer on the back, before the two of them joined Rossi and Hotch.

Garcia gave you a triumphant smile as she sat next to you. You just rolled your eyes at her and said nothing.

The service itself was lovely. It was a sunny day, and many people came to pay their respects. You recognised a number of agents from around the bureau, and who you assumed were higher ups that Strauss would have worked with. Her children were at the front, her daughters clinging to each other, and her son unable to look up. The oldest gave a short speech, with Rossi following.

Afterwards, everyone was invited back to Rossi’s for the wake. Apparently Rossi had helped pay for almost everything, which you shouldn’t have been surprised at really. You had been there for a couple of hours and had successfully managed to avoid Spencer, as well as getting to chat to everyone a little bit.

“Okay,” You said to Penelope and Morgan, putting your empty glass down. “I gotta get going.”

Penelope pouted. “So soon?”

“I know.” You pulled her in for a hug. “But I can’t miss my plane.”

You moved to hug Morgan.

“Don’t be a stranger. You need to come visit more.” He told you.

“I’ll try.” You mumbled. Looking around the room for anyone else, you spotted JJ talking to Spencer. “Um, say bye to JJ for me?” You sighed and gestured in their direction.

Morgan looked like he was about to say something, but Penelope got there first. “Yeah, will do.” She nodded.

You said your goodbyes to them, and made your way through the small crowd to find the others. Alex was chatting with an agent you recognised, but didn’t know the name of. You didn’t know her all that well really, so it was a quick goodbye. Hotch and Rossi were stood in the kitchen, separated from everyone else. They seemed to be deep in conversation, but Rossi saw you at the door.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got to go catch a plane. Just want to say bye.” You told them, stepping closer.

Rossi put his drink down, and walked over for a hug. “Thanks for coming. It’s appreciated.”

Hotch held out his hand to shake. “We’re glad you could make it. The team misses you.”

“Yeah, I miss everyone too.” You told them with a sad tone.

“Come visit soon.” Rossi said.

Nodding. “I’ll try. Don’t get decent cooking anymore.” You joked, and it got a tiny smile from Rossi.

Waving as you walked away, you headed out the door. You dug through your bag, and took out your phone to call a cab to the airport.

You had been waiting at the bottom of the driveway for a few minutes when a voice come from behind you.

“You’re leaving?”

Spencer.

You stood frozen for a moment. Then took in a deep breath and turned around.

He had kept his distance, standing about 10 feet back, looking like a deer in headlights. Like he didn’t know what he came out here to say.

You gave him a slow nod. “Got work tomorrow.”

His hand rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to, umm… Can we talk?”

“Got nothing to say.”

“Please…” He took a step forward, and you crossed your arms and took a step back. His face fell, but he stopped where he was. “Please, I want to apol-”

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “Spencer, I had to give up my whole life here, because of you. You don’t just get to say sorry as if that’s going to make it all better.” All the anger and hurt you’d pushed down for so long was starting to bubble to the surface. But you kept your voice low, you didn’t want to disturb the others still inside.

“I didn’t… I…” He took a deep breath. “I never wanted to hurt you, never. You have to believe that.” Spencer’s voice was almost pleading.

You scoffed. “What was the plan then, Spencer? Either you would’ve finally got around to telling me what was happening, which would have hurt me. Or you’d have left me for her, which also would’ve hurt me!” Your eyes started to sting. “Please explain to me how I could’ve been okay with any of it?”

He stumbled on his words, but you carried on before he could.

“You lied to me for months. Made me feel completely worthless. I spend hours up at night wondering what it was that I could have done wrong, because all of a sudden you didn’t love me anymore.” Tears forming now.

His eyes became pleading. “I never stopped lov-”

“Oh save it!” You stared at him for a second, taking in a breath and lowering your voice. “If you cared about me at all, none of this would have happened.”

His head dropped, and he brought his hand up to wipe his eyes before looking back at you. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Your phone buzzed in your hand then. The cab was just up the street.

“I gotta go.” Was all you said to him, turning around and not looking back.

 23 months ago, you were at the gym.

It was January. And that meant that the gym was full of people and their resolutions to get fit… which would probably last about 3 weeks. Your New Year’s resolution was to let everything go. It had been over a year now since you’d moved to New York, and like it had been previously pointed out to you, by a number of people now, you had no social life. You had decided that needed to change, you couldn’t spend the rest of your life sad and alone because of one guy.

That being said… it was hard not to be sad and alone because of one guy.

You’d gotten through your warm up, and decided to start on weights, before making your way around, and ending on the treadmill. After a few minutes at a steady pace, a guy very nonchalantly walked by, swinging his arms a little as he looked around the room. You couldn’t help but smirk a little, the guy clearly had no idea what he was doing. He had on an old t-shirt, with new shorts and trainers, and you thought they must have been a Christmas present or something. Not to mention the brightly coloured socks, that matched the comical looking sweatbands around his wrists and head.

Then he caught your eye, and you quickly looked away.

“No, it ok.” You looked back up to see him flexing his ‘muscles’, with an grin on his face. “I’m totally hot, I get it.” He said with a humorous tone.

For a second you thought about just rolling your eyes and not responding. But… if you were going to work on this social life thing, that would involve talking to people.

And this guy might just be a little bit cute.

“Actually,” You answered without slowing your pace. “I was thinking that you looked like a cartoon character.”

He dropped his arms. “Well that’s not very nice of you. I worked hard on all this.” He gestured a hand over himself, still with a smile on his face.

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yup.” He took a few steps closer to you. “And you too, after years of minimal exercise and a not all that healthy diet, can gain this extortionary physique.” He patted his stomach.

You laughed.

“I’m Tony.” He reached his hand over.

You looked at him for a second, before slowing down to a walking pace. You took his hand and gave him your name.

“Not seen you here before, Tony. New year’s resolution?”

He leaned on the treadmill. “Sort of. Me and some friends have this bet every year, who can go to the gym for the longest.”

“Ah. What do you win?”

“A kids wrestling belt with ‘World Champion’ written on it.” He said so casually you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well good luck with that.” You came to a stop, and stepped of the treadmill.

“So what now?” He asked you.

You smiled at him. “Well if you want to maintain that extortionary physique, I suggest a slow and steady pace.” You pointed at the treadmill. “I however, am done. So I’m going home.”

His shoulders dropped. “Oh, ok. But maybe I’ll see you again?” He asked hopefully.

You gave him a smile. “Guess it depends on how much you wanna win a child’s toy.”

He grinned.

You waved him goodbye, and walked back to the changing rooms with a tiny smile on your face.

 22 months ago, Tony won his bet.

The two of you had run into each other a lot the past month. You had actually found yourself looking forward to seeing him, and were disappointed if he wasn’t there that day. He had explained to you, that if he went longer than a week without going to the gym, he’d be out of the bet. But he was there more days than not, and you hoped that it was because of you.

Then one day he appeared above you while you were lifting weights, with a big smile across his face. Setting the bar down, you sat up and saw the belt wrapped around his arm.

“Hey you won!”

“Sure did.” He slipped the belt from his arm, and held it up proudly. “I’m gonna hang it up in my living room.”

You laughed.

“And, umm…” He dropped his arms and shifted a little. “Well, err, since you kinda were the, um, motivation… I was wondering if I could take you out dinner? You know, as a thank you.”

A date? Was he asking you on a date? You hadn’t had a date in… too long.

“Oh, um…” You stammered.

Tony’s face dropped. “You don’t have-”

“No, I’d, um… I’d like that.” You told him.

“Yeah?” He grinned.

You nodded. “Yes.”

The two of you made your plans, and he headed back out. You waited till he was gone, before running back to your locker and digging your phone out of your back.

It only rang a couple of times before it was answered.

“Hey!”

“Penelope!” You said a little loudly.

“Woah, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. I’m fine.”

“Okay, so what’s up?”

You took a deep breath to calm down. “I have a date.”

There was a brief pause, before an excited squeal that made you pull the phone from your ear.

“Oh my god! Who with? And where? Oh and When?” Penelope asked you quickly.

You took another deep breath. “His name’s Tony and-”

“Last name?” She interrupted.

“Wha- No, you’re not looking him up.” You quickly caught on to what she was doing.

“Oh, come on please! I just wanna see what he looks like.” She said. “And y’know, maybe just check out his background a little bit.” She added quietly.

“Penelope.”

“Okay, fine.” She let out a sigh. “Tell me everything. Spare no detail, I got time.”

 18 months ago, Rossi invited you up for dinner.

“And a certain colourful birdie tells us you’re seeing someone?” Rossi teased.

You sighed, but smiled. “Yes, I am.”

“You should bring him.” He told you.

“Really?”

“Of course! Hotch is bringing Beth, JJ’s bringing Will. Morgan is even bringing Savannah.”

That last one caught your attention. “…Is Derek Morgan in a serious relationship?”

Rossi chuckled. “It would appear so.”

“Wow.” You laughed a little. “Well, I’ll ask Tony. I’m sure he’d love to come.”

“Wonderful.”

The two of you said goodbye, and you headed back to work for the afternoon.

After a pretty uneventful day of paperwork, you clocked out on time, and sent Tony a message saying you were on your way out. Unless, it was a particularly difficult day, the two of you would meet up. Sometimes at his place, sometimes at a small bar he and his friends frequented, all of which you considered to be your friends now too. He text back quickly, telling you he was at the bar, and you headed straight there.

“Hey guys.” You called, finding everyone at their regular spot.

Tony got up to kiss your cheek.

“How was work?” Laura asked, sat next to her husband, Marcus.

You shrugged. “Pretty boring today. But that’s a good thing I suppose.”

“Not to mention much safer.” Tony said matter-of-factly. After you had a slight altercation with a suspect a while back, resulting in a black eye, he’d become a bit of a mother hen when you came home from work. “Drink?” He asked before you could say anything else.

You smirked. “Sure.”

The pair of you got to the bar, and ordered your drinks. “So… I do have something to ask you. If you’re interested.”

He gasped dramatically, and brought his hand to his chest. “Yes, of course you can come with me and Marcus to the renaissance faire next month!”

You just stared at him.

“Okay, sorry.” He chuckled. “What’s up?”

“Well, Rossi, who I used to work with, he’s planning a dinner party, sort of thing. In a few weeks. And he wants to know if you’d be interested in coming? My old team will all be there, so…”

“Really?” He seemed surprised.

You nodded. “Yup.”

The bartender placed the drinks in front of you. Thanking him, you picked up your glass and took a step away.

“That does mean that, umm, Spencer will probably be there too.” You added nervously.

Spencer had come up months back, when you had the bad break up conversation. Tony had an ex who, when Tony was at work, broke back in to his apartment, and completely trashed the place and stole and/or killed his fish. He never found it, and decided it best not to reach out to the woman, so never found out. And while now you were over Spencer, and were happy with Tony, being with them both, in the same room all night brought on a strange feeling.

Tony looked at you for a second. “Right, of course, yeah… Do, err, do you want to see him?”

You shook your head, and Tony relaxed a little. “Not really. But I want to see the others. I’ve seen a few of them separately, but last time I saw everyone together it was at a funeral, so… y’know.”

He nodded. “Well, if you want to go, I’d love to join.”

You beamed at him.

“And if this jerk tries anything I’ll…” He brought a fist up.

“What?” You asked, rolling your eyes. “You’ll punch an FBI agent in a room full of FBI agents?”

“Maybe. Gotta defend my lady!”

“Shut up.” You shoved him playfully, and you went to join the others at the table.

The next morning you called Rossi to let him know you’d both be there, which he was thrilled about. It was a few hours later, when Penelope called to check herself you were definitely going.

“You do realise your boyfriend and ex-boyfriend are gonna both be there right?”

“Yes Penelope, I know. But Tony knows about Spencer, I told him everything. It’ll be fine. And it’s been a year and a half now, I’ve moved on. I will even make polite conversation with him if I need to.”

Though you were hoping you wouldn’t have to.

You went on to ask about Morgan’s new girlfriend, and Penelope let out a little squeal, going on to tell you how amazing she is. From the sounds of it, she was pretty perfect for Derek.

The weeks soon passed by, and you found yourself at the door of David Rossi. Hotch opened it, and you gave him a quick hug, and introduced him to Tony. They shook hands, and you headed in to the kitchen, where everyone had gathered. You were handed a glass of wine, and Tony had already set about introducing himself to everyone. He never had an issue talking to new people. Morgan brought Savannah over, who was just as great as Penelope had said.

Then you realised, Spencer wasn’t here.

Penelope caught you glance around the group to double check, and leaned over.

“He’s not coming.” She whispered.

You frowned. “What do you mean? Why not?”

She lifted a shoulder. “Said he didn’t want to make it uncomfortable.”

Your frown only deepened.

“You might of moved on.” She continued before you could say anything. “But I don’t think he has.”

Glancing back around the room, you felt… odd. Spencer had always seem to be a little self-sabotaging when it came to emotions. Isolating himself when things were difficult, rather than asking for help. Thinking back, JJ had told you he’d quite literally shut himself away for weeks after what happened to Maeve, only to return to work like nothing happened. And you knew he felt bad about what he did to you. He’d tried to apologise the last time you’d seen him, and you didn’t let him. Maybe you should have. But you were mad, and you were allowed to be mad. He cheated on you!

But… as time passed, and the memories weren’t as fresh, you could move on. It didn’t hurt as much. Spencer though, wouldn’t forget. He’d remember them and feel it all like it happened yesterday. Thinking about those things would still hurt him just as much now as it did then.

You sighed. Would it help to talk to him? Yes, what he did was horrible, but all you could think about now, was how he was probably sat alone at home. Miserable that everyone was out having fun together, and he was left out, thinking that if he was here, he’d somehow ruin the evening. Tony wouldn’t want you to go talk to him though, would he? Trying to cheer up the ex-boyfriend who cheated on you is a weird thing to do. You knew that. If he asked you the same thing, you’d assume something was still going on between them.

Rossi interrupted your thoughts then, calling everyone over to the table.

 11 months ago, a call woke you up at 5am.

You grumbled into your pillow, and blindly reached for the phone. “Hello?”

An unfamiliar voice asked if it was in fact you, and apologised for the early call.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s me.” You quickly pulled the phone away, only to see ‘Unknown’ written across the screen. “Who is this?”

“Ah, apologies again, Mateo Cruz.”

“Oh.” You shot up quickly, and Tony rolled over beside you at the disturbance. “Sir, sorry.”

You heard a low chuckle. “Not to worry. But I’m afraid I’m not calling with good news.”

Shuffling back to rest on the headboard, and resting your free hand on Tony’s arm that had come to wrap across your waist, you took a deep breath. “Sir?”

“I got a phone call a few hours ago, Jason Gideon was found dead in his home a little after three-thirty.” He told you.

Your stomach flipped. You’d never actually met Gideon, but everyone said great things about him. Spencer especially. He was the reason Spencer joined the BAU, and had mentored him the first few years. Spencer had admired him greatly, and he had once said that Gideon was the first person not to treat him like a child.

Cruz continued. “Now, I’ve already spoken to your boss, and if you wouldn’t mind that is, I’d like for you to join the rest of the team for the investigation.”

You frowned a little. “Oh, um, if you think that would help, then of course. But I didn’t know him myself, so I’m not sure how much help I could be. I’m sure the team-”

“The team,” He interrupted, “has a bit of a reputation when it comes to cases involving people they care about. But I also know it wouldn’t go well if I didn’t let them take this one on. I was actually hoping, that a familiar face would help keep them a little more… level headed.”

“Ah, right.” He had a bit of a point. After everything happened with Prentiss, you remembered being told the team would be watched. Were they still being watched?

Cruz hummed, and gave you the address of Gideons cabin, telling you that the rest of the team had already been informed and were on their way.

You shook Tony a little. “Tony, I gotta go.” He pulled his arm back slowly, mumbling something you didn’t understand. “I might be gone a few days.”

That woke him up a bit. “What d’you mean?”

You got out of bed, darting around to find some clothes. “Um, Jason Gideon, he was part of the BAU. Started it in fact.” You said quickly, trying to pack a small bag. “He’s been killed. Director Cruz wants me to help out. The teams been known to go a little… off the book when a case is personal. Think he wants me to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Tony looked at you a little confused, clearly not awake enough to take in what you were saying. “Okay…”

You zipped up your bag, and went over to him. You gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled at him. “Call me when you’re awake and I’ll explain it to you again, hm?”

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded slowly, and lay down again. “B’careful. Love you.”

“Love you too.” You told him.

The sun had risen by the time you got to the cabin. By some luck, you didn’t have to wait too long for the flight, and had called Hotch just to make sure he knew you were coming. As you stepped out of the cab, the coroner was lifting the body into the van.

Spencer stood behind watching.

You slowly approached. “Hey.”

It took him a second to look at you, like he didn’t quite hear you.

“Cruz called a few hours ago. Asked if I’d help.” You told him, seeing the slightly confused look in his eyes. Also knowing it would be difficult for him to talk right now.

He gave a slight nod, and looked away again.

Morgan walked over then. You gave him your condolences, and explained your presence again.

“Well were glad to have the help.” Morgan told you. He glanced over to Spencer. “We’re gonna follow the ME. Gideon’s got priority, so we can get the preliminary finding right away.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Okay, I’ll see you later.”

Morgan placed a hand on Spencer’s back, and guided him to the cars. It’s like Spencer wasn’t even here.

Sighing, you turned to the cabin as Hotch walked out with Rossi.

You ended up helping go through Gideons things. Trying to figure out if anything way out of place, or trying to find anything that didn’t seem right. But other than the damage in the living room, the rest of the cabin seemed to be in perfect order.

The first breakthrough came when Rossi linked a case way back from when the BAU was first starting in the 70s. After that, the dots started to connect one by one. All of which led Penelope to find a man named Donald Mallick, who had a lot of land, and was completely isolated. With that, you were on your way. The house was an absolute dump, and judging by the smell, hadn’t been cleaned since Mallick had been on his own. You had cleared a number of rooms, when you heard a gunshot from outside.

Everyone rushed towards the sound, and found Mallick on the ground, with Rossi stood in front of him.

A looming feeling fell over the team. Rossi’s body language and the way he was staring at the body was almost scary. But whatever had happened, the gun by Mallick’s had was enough to cover Rossi. Everyone put their own guns down.

When everything was taken care of at the scene, and Josie Behdart was on her way to the hospital, the team all found their way back to Gideons cabin. It was the early hours of the morning, the sun just coming up and everyone had taken a seat in the living room. It was Hotch who spoke first, telling the story of when he first met Gideon. Rossi had plenty of stories too. You all sat for a few hours like that, listening to the tales everyone had.

The local cops showed up after a while, finishing off what they needed to do. Your phone buzzed in your pocket. It was Tony, so you excused yourself for a moment.

“Hey, you’re up early.” You answered.

“Well, it’s weird with you gone in all honesty.” Tony said.

“Aww,” You chuckled. “Well fortunately for you, I should be home soon. We’re just finishing up with the locals, then I’ll be heading to the airport.”

You chatted a little more, and you told him how the case went, telling him you’d explain it fully later. And he promised to have a hot bath ready for you when you got home. You said your goodbyes, and started to look up flight times and called for a cab.

Glancing back, the team had all got up, and you saw Gideon’s son in the living room. Your heart ached for him. It had been mentioned that the pair didn’t have a close relationship, but Gideon had wanted to fix that. Now he never could. He headed out the door after some time, and you watched as Spencer handed him something, and pulled him in for a hug.

You stepped back into the living room, carefully approaching Spencer as he looked down at a chessboard.

“Hey.”

He looked up, and gave you a small smile which quickly dropped again.

“You okay?” You asked him.

He just nodded, looking back down and picking up one of the chess pieces.

“Don’t.” You said quietly. “I know how much Gideon meant to you. Everyone does. Don’t shut everyone out.”

He twisted the piece in his fingers, before putting it back in the same spot and facing you again. “I just…” His eyes fell to the floor. “I just thought I’d see him again…”

“Yeah…” You whispered. Your heart broke for him, he looked so deflated. “Come here.” You leaned over to him, pulling him in for a hug.

He froze for a second, and you almost pulled away, thinking you’d made him uncomfortable. But then his head came down to rest on your shoulder, his arms wrapped around you and you felt him take a deep breath. You stood quietly for a moment, before you pulled back from him.

“Let them help.” You told him.

He nodded. You weren’t sure he was going to, but you didn’t press him anymore.

“I gotta go say bye to the others.”

“Yeah, okay.” He looked away again.

“Bye Spencer.”

As you walked away, there was a long forgotten tense feeling that seemed to lift up and float away. It was almost freeing. You’d said goodbye to Spencer. Without slamming a door in his face, and without rejecting what he was saying. Without anger. It was as if you’d finished a book. You’d turned the last page, and there were no lingering questions left for you to try and figure out. No hidden mysteries, or unanswered riddles. Everything you needed to know, you knew. And it brought on a wave of calm. Nothing else mattered, and you could move on to the next story, without your mind drifting to all the ‘what ifs?’

You’d said goodbye.

And it felt like it was for good.

 4 months ago, you rang Penelope.

The two of you didn’t call as much as you used to. It was upsetting, but at the same time, you figured it was kind of inevitable. But you made sure not to lose contact with Penelope, so even though it wasn’t as often, you still chatted regularly.

“Hi!” You greeted quickly when she answered.

“Woah, okay, someone’s chipper.” She laughed.

Part of you thought you could have held it for a little, but you were too excited. “Tony proposed!”

You heard her gasp. “Oh my god! When? Where? How? What’s the ring like? Actually, hang on.” She said very rapidly, then you heard a slight clattering from over the phone. “Okay, tell me everything!”

You laughed a little, but quickly got in to the details of last night. Tony had recreated your first date, with a number of romantic extras sprinkled in throughout the evening. It had been incredible, and when you got home, the living room had been covered in flowers and balloons and candles.

“Then he got down on one knee, and he had his whole romantic speech that made me cry. Honestly Pen, it was like something out of a movie.”

“Aww! That sounds so incredible.” She happily sighed. “Do you have anything planned yet?”

“Not yet, but we’ve talked about little things before. Future plans and all that. But you’ll know when I do.” You laughed.

“I’d better! And send me a picture of the ring!”

Not long after the conversation ended, you got a text from JJ and Morgan, both congratulating you. As well as texts a little later in the day from Hotch and Rossi.

 1 month ago, you had found the perfect venue.

It was a little on the pricey side, but you and Tony had both instantly fallen in love with the place. But apparently, so had the plenty of other couples, since there was a 2 year waiting list.

“Maybe we can find out who they are,” Tony said. “Sabotage them.”

You slapped his arm jokingly. “Stop it.”

He shrugged. “Penelope would have no trouble with it, I’m just saying.”

“I don’t doubt it.” You laughed. “But the two years would give us enough time to actually afford this place.”

He smiled at you. “So… here?”

You smiled back, and kissed his cheek. “Here.”

 Today, you sent out your Save the Dates.

A few people already knew the date of the wedding anyway, after you told them you’d booked the venue.

You’d called Penelope of course.

“Yeah, so they’ve been sent out, so you should get it in the next couple of days.” You called her.

“Yay! I can’t wait.” She told you.

“Well it’s still a few years off, Pen.”

“Plenty of time to plan my outfit.” She laughed. “Speaking of, I do get to come dress shopping with you right?”

“Of course you do, how could you even ask?” You reassured her. “Besides, I’ve had a look through magazines and stuff, and honestly have no clue what I’m after. So I’ll need you superior fashion advice.”

“Also,” She started, an unsure tone to her voice. “So is… everyone on the team invited, or..?”

“I’ve not invited my ex-boyfriend to my wedding. It’d be weird.” You answered quickly knowing what she was getting at.

Penelope sighed. “Yeah, I guess…”

You knew she’d feel bad. He was still her friend, and she wouldn’t want him to feel left out. You didn’t want him to feel left out, but having him at your wedding would make you feel weird.

You quickly changed the subject. “But are you bringing anyone?”

 1 month later, you get a call from Penelope.

You hadn’t heard from her for a while, and she sounded more stressed then she had in a long time. The team had just solved a very difficult case, and it turns out that she had been living at the office because she was being targeted. She couldn’t tell you anything, to protect herself and you, which you understood.

“Anyway, Reid had gone in to sit with her, trying to trick a confession out of her, or get her to say something, I don’t know.”

“But you guys got her? Your safe now right?” You could hear her voice shaking.

“Yeah, I’m just reeling a little still.” She took a deep breath. “She was just, like… a real life super evil genius.”

“I’ll come up and see you soon, okay. But like you said, she’s on her way to prison as we speak, you’re not in any danger. And the team would do anything for you. You know that.”

“I know, I know. It’s like, since Hotch told me, I just keep repeating it to myself to calm down.” She huffed. “Cat Adams is gone. Cat Adams is gone.”

[askagamedev]

A Gamer’s Primer to the Career Meta, part 4: Compensation

Continuing from [A Gamer’s Primer to the Career Meta, part 3: When to Change Jobs]

Negotiating Salary

Let’s first discuss negotiating your salary when you receive an offer. It is always worth negotiating at least a little. The process of finding and vetting a candidate is not trivial. It takes time and effort from recruiters, hiring managers, and team members to vet a candidate. They will not be so offended after going through so much trouble as to rescind a job offer just because you dared to ask for a little more money than their first offer. The worst case scenario is that they say that they feel the offer is fair and that it stands as-is. Then you can choose whether to take it or leave it.

If you have leverage (i.e. other competing offers), you should feel emboldened to ask for more. In this situation, they need to persuade you to take their offer. You should absolutely let them know that they are in competition with other companies (and what those offers are). This usually encourages them to offer more - they will usually have to beat another offer in order to lock you in. In this situation, you should go to your top choice and tell them the pay you would want (I suggest aiming a little higher - 2-3% at least) from them for you to commit to them. My top choice in my recent job hunt had offered me the highest pay among my offers, but I still squeaked out another $5,000 per year on top of that offer by asking.

Even if you don’t have leverage, you should still ask - even a smaller bump like $1200 per year on an annual salary of $50,000 still adds up to an extra $100 per month. That’s still within 3% of the original offer, which will seem small to them at the time, but it is also half of most pay raise amounts (usually around 5%) at the start. It’s worth asking.

Compensation Flavors

A salary is not the only way that an employer can compensate you for your work. Many of them will trot out a variety of different benefits and additional forms of compensation. There are a lot of common terms and acronyms in this area that I thought any person should understand when they’re being offered. I’ve added  some quick definitions and advice for the more common ones here so that you can better parse your current set of benefits and compare the next. We’ll divide these into ongoing (stuff you get while you’re working) vs one-time compensation (stuff you get once you agree to work for them).

Ongoing Compensation

Salary - This is your base pay and the number that most of your other compensation tends to get derived from. Any annual bonus, 401k contribution, ESPP contribution, and so on are usually a percentage of your base pay. The larger your base pay, the more you get from those other benefits. Consequently, this is what pay raises increase as well.

Bonus - This is money in addition to your base pay that is handed out to workers on a semi-regular basis. Many companies pay out a bonus each year. Bonuses are often contingent on several factors - how well the company is doing financially, how well your division and team are doing, and how well you performed personally. It is not included in your base pay, but it is often a percentage of your base pay. It is also worth noting that bonuses aren’t considered normal income and, instead, fall under “supplemental wages” which have some slightly different tax rules both at the federal and state levels. If you aren’t sure about it, you should definitely ask HR about it. You should definitely ask about how often bonus targets are met at the company, either during the interview or when you receive an offer.

Profit Share - Profit Share is considered income that is paid out a period after a product launches and becomes profitable. This is usually lumpier than bonus pay, since new releases come so rarely in comparison to an annual or quarterly bonus target. Profit Sharing is usually a factor of your base pay and is taxed as regular income and not supplemental wages. 

ESPP - ESPP is Employee Stock Purchase Plan. This is usually only offered by publicly traded companies (e.g. Take Two, EA, Activision-Blizzard, etc.). Employees can set aside a percentage of their base pay after taxes and use it to buy shares of company stock at a discount (usually two to four times a year). You can then sit on those shares in hopes of them going up in value, or sell them immediately for some additional money. If you have the option to do so and are not living paycheck to paycheck, you should absolutely participate in this to the maximum extent you can because it is basically free money. If you hold on to the stock shares you buy for a year, you can pay a (potentially) lower tax rate on it (Long Term Capital Gains).

401k - Similar to ESPP, employees can set aside a percentage of their base pay before taxes and use it to invest in the future. Many larger employers will match your contribution to some extent. I have a longer explanation in my [Financial Primer] if you are interested. Similar to ESPP, you should absolutely participate in this as much as you feasibly can (up to the maximum corporate match) because it is also basically free money.

Benefits (Health, Dental, Vision) - The three core benefits that almost every employer offers are health care, dental, and vision. These are often very confusing, trade flexibility for price, and scale in terms of cost - the company will usually pay for the employee, but many plans require some amount of your pay to go towards covering your dependents (spouse, kids, etc.). Healthcare benefits tend to be the most confusing. If there’s interest, I can try getting into this in a separate post due to its complexity.

PTO - aka Paid Time Off, Vacation, etc. This usually comes in one of two varieties - banked PTO (where you earn a certain number of vacation hours per pay period) or unlimited PTO (where you can take as much time off as you like, pending managerial approval). If you bank PTO, the PTO you accrue is paid time you are owed. If you leave the company for whatever reason, the company must pay out your banked PTO at your current base pay. Unlimited PTO does not count as compensation, so the company does not have to pay anything out if you leave (or are fired). I heavily suggest asking about how often your interviewer takes time off - it offers some good insight into how the team and company treat people who want to take their rightfully-earned time off.

One-Time Compensation

Signing Bonus - This is a one-time chunk of additional money that you will receive in your first paycheck as incentive to get you to take the job. Many companies have a clawback clause in the contract where you have to pay back a signing bonus if you quit or are fired within a year of starting your employment.

RSUs, Stock Options, Equity - These are shares of ownership (or options to buy shares of ownership) of the company. These usually have a “vesting period” of around two to four years. As each year of employment passes, you get a percentage of these promised shares or options until enough time passes and you collect all of them. It is worth noting that you cannot sell shares of a company that is not publicly traded (i.e. on a stock exchange somewhere). Thus, owning stock or options in a private company doesn’t usually do anything for you unless that company gets acquired by another company or goes public. Video game studios almost never go public. In my personal experience, equity is the long shot and almost never works out unless the company is already public. It has historically worked out much better for me to take a higher salary and lower equity than the other way around.

Relocation - The company will sometimes pay for you to move from your current home to the city where they are located. This can be handled either through your own efforts, where you keep track of all moving-related expenses and receipts and submit them to the company for reimbursement, or through a relocation contractor that the company pays to handle all of the details like breaking a lease, packing all of your stuff, shipping it to the new city, storage, temporary housing, etc. Paid relocation expenses are considered income, so you will have to pay taxes on the relocation package’s value.

Other Benefits

A lot of employers also offer perks and other benefits, such as:

Visa Sponsorship - Every recruiter that I’ve recently spoken with has asked me if I am legally able to work in the US and whether I would require [visa sponsorship]. Not all employers offer visa sponsorship; if you need one, it will limit your potential opportunities. Also, fewer companies will sponsor beyond H1B. There is a progression - H1B leads to Permanent Labor Certification, which leads to Green Card (Permanent Residency). These are multi-year processes, so know what you’re getting into.

Family Leave - as developers get older, we start families. Paid family leave is usually a number of weeks you can take off from work if you have a child or adopt.

Fitness - many companies will provide fitness benefits - subsidized gym memberships or reimbursement for healthy living expenses. One place had a healthy living stipend that they would reimburse us for. I bought a fancy fitbit on their dime.

Games - most publishers will give you free games and you can buy them at the company store. Microsoft even has a direct line to XSX consoles for employees.

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The FANTa Project is being rebooted. [What is the FANTa project?]

Got a burning question you want answered?

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Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[merakiaes]

In The Heat Of The Moment - Aaron Hotchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Requested: By @forgottenword​

Prompts: #3 from the common trope-list. 

Warnings/notes: Unprotected sex. Wrap it before you tap it, kids. I’m extremely bad at writing smut so I apologize in advance for the shitty quality😩 I want to stress that my smut requests are CLOSED, this was an only exception because I liked the concept, so please don’t send in smut requests because hey will be deleted. This turned out a lot longer than I planned but oh well. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thank you <3 NOT PROOFREAD

Wordcount: 7175

Summary: When having a fever and being caught in the rain, you’re bound to be freezing and in need of heat. And what better way to get warmed up than by sharing a bed with your boss? 

You and Aaron Hotchner had never gotten along as well as co-workers should in your line of work. You were great agents, great people, when you were separated. But when you were together… Well, let’s just say that it was never a pretty sight.

You had joined the BAU around the same time and despite only being beginners back then, you were both great at what you did. But putting you together on your first job was everything but a match made in heaven.

You were a bit younger than him and you were used to being criticized by men your entire life, so when working with Hotch turned out to be no different, you became competitive and determined to show your worth to him and your fellow agents.

You could easily just shoot your enemy if you ever felt threatened in the field, but when it came to Hotch, your co-worker, your only line of defense was your quick-witted sarcasm.

In Hotch’s eyes, you behaved like a child from the start and he wanted nothing more than to just have you transferred, but the longer you worked together, the more used to it he got.

He still didn’t like it though, not one bit, but it was bearable back when you’d had Gideon to step in and calmly settle your differences whenever those popped up. Which, let’s be honest, was often.

But now he was gone and Hotch had stepped up to take the leading position, and even though you hadn’t been interested in that position, yourself, you hated that he now had the higher ground and the perfect shot to make your life a living hell just like you had, knowingly, made his.

If you wanted to go to the crime scene, he sent you to question potential witnesses. If you wanted to question potential witnesses, he sent you to the crime scene. If you specifically asked to do something, he made you do the exact opposite and if you specifically asked not to do something, that’s exactly what he forced you to do. And now that he was your superior rather than your equal, you were in no place to argue, no matter how much you wanted to.

You wouldn’t go as far as to say you hated each other; you respected him and he respected you, but you just couldn’t stand each other and the way the two of you always seemed to criticize the other’s capability of getting the job done.

He always underestimated you and condescendingly shook his head at your every move, and you just couldn’t help but run your mouth about how he did everything wrong when you were with him.

It could be amusing to see you bicker, to say the least, but eventually, the team was starting to get tired of the way your disagreements and inability to work together was constantly threatening to ruin the case, so they were more than relieved when, finally, the two of you were beginning to settle down.

When Haley filed for a divorce, you were the only one on the team who didn’t change your entire persona. While the others walked on eggshells around him, always afraid to say the wrong thing and make him snap, you remained your usual big-mouthed, snarky self, never letting him catch a break.

Up until then, you had never been anything other than a major pain in his ass, but under these circumstances, the fact that you didn’t go out of your way to feel sorry for him provided a kind of security for him.

You approached him about it once after a case on which he had shown himself more agitated and reckless than usual, telling him that he could talk to you if he wanted to, but after that, you just left him alone to deal with everything the way he wanted to.

Knowing he had the support but also being given the choice to choose on his own rather than having the support forced upon him was just what he needed and in your own, dysfunctional way, you grew closer because of it.

He started to willingly take you along during cases while he sent the others to deal with other aspects, as opposed to the past where the last thing he wanted was to be stuck with just you, knowing you’d find some way to go against his wishes just to spite him.

He’d always known that you were a great person and an even greater agent and profiler, even though he would never admit it out loud, but it was only after his divorce that he really came to see you in a different light.

However, despite his newfound fondness of you, there were still rules to be followed; ones he, as a leader, could not look past if broken.

One of the most important rules were that you couldn’t get attached or emotionally involved in a case. Being able to remain objective was of the utmost importance in order to not risk jeopardizing the entire investigation and this specifically, you’d never had a problem with.

You felt for the families and victims of course, but you knew that in order to do your job, you had to close yourself off to the grief they were feeling. Struggling with this was more common for the others on the team, but you did alright.

But then there was the rule that emphasized the importance of staying at home or at least in the office if you ever happened to get sick, and the most important rule, at least for you, not to lie or go against your boss’s orders. And you had broken both of them.

It had started out with a light cough and a runny nose; nothing too alarming seeing as it could easily pass for allergies, which just so happened to be the excuse you used when confronted about it.

Eventually the cough disappeared and your nose dried up, leading you to believe that the excuse you had been telling everyone for three days straight could actually be the truth, but then came the fever, out of nowhere in the middle of the night.

You laid awake trembling and sweating through your sheets both at the same time, and yet, you pulled your ass out of bed the next morning and got to work, completely ignoring the fact that you were obviously not well.

And as was only natural, the light fever got worse and brought several other complications with it as you kept pushing yourself in the field. You became short of breath easier and your ears started hurting, bringing back the terrible memories from your childhood back when you’d get the worst ear infections on a frequent basis for years.

But you’d just been invited into a new case, one that took longer than they usually did and one that you just so happened to get attached to, against your better judgement. You kept getting sicker and you tried your hardest to hide it, because you just couldn’t leave your team in those desperate times.

You were also, as you always had been, too stubborn to admit the fact that you needed help and rest, and so you sucked it up and pretended that you were fine, something that seemed to go unnoticed as the others were just as caught up in the job and determined to get to the bottom of the case as you were.

And you did, get to the bottom of it, as you always did. You solved the case, identified and tracked down the unsub and went in for the arrest.

Hotch and Prentiss went around the back and you and Reid went in through the house while Morgan and Rossi stood by the police cars, waiting for Hotch’s orders to come in.

You and Reid were the ones to find the man first, catching him off-guard and holding him at gunpoint until Hotch and Prentiss appeared from the back and handcuffed him.

You were able to complete the arrest and save the hostage before anything could happen to her, and luckily, the state you were in hadn’t affected the case nor your ability to work.

But once everything was safe, you subconsciously let down the façade you had been putting on for the past few days and as you walked out of the house, a sudden wave of dizziness hit you and sent you falling to the ground before you had even reached the cars.

Morgan, having had his eyes on you when you walked out, was the first one to witness it and rushed to your side, alerting your fellow team members. By then, you were knocked out cold from the exhaustion and as the medics at the scene rushed up, they noted aloud that you had a very high fever and had to get to the hospital.

You were rushed there in the ambulance that had originally been for the hostage should she have needed to be treated, and as you laid unconscious, Hotch sat by your side, glaring at you despite the fact that you couldn’t even see it.

Luckily, your carelessness hadn’t come in the way of the case as you hadn’t hit rock bottom until it was all over, but in a worst case scenario it could’ve affected your ability to properly do your job which was exactly why the rules said you couldn’t work when sick.

But despite the fact that everything had worked out, you had gone against the rules by hiding your sickness and working despite it, which was the sole reason of your sudden collapse and also the reason that Hotch was now forced to drive all the way back to Quantico as the doctor hadn’t cleared you for flying with your ear infection, and it was safe to say that he was not happy about it.

“You put the entire team in danger today.” He spoke for the first time since you had sat down in the car, in which you had been seated for the past forty minutes.

Forty, painfully slow minutes of thick and tense silence, both of you just waiting in dread for the argument that was sure to come.

But even then, now that the silence had been broken, you didn’t feel any better.

“I know.” You replied simply from where you sat beside him in the passenger seat.

You stared out the window lazily, slumped in your seat and breathing slowly, each breath fogging up the glass and dimming the view of the darkening sky outside.

Your ears picked up on the sound of crunching leather, no doubt being caused by Hotch’s grip tightening on the steering wheel. “Is that all you have to say?” He asked bitterly. Annoyance was radiating off of him and the tone in his voice only made its existence more evident.

An unintentional sigh of exhaustion left your lips and for the first time, you dared to turn your head to look at him. “What do you want me to do?” You asked. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it.” He wasted no time in answering, not even bothering to look at you, and this time you could see with your own eyes how his grip on the wheel hardened, his knuckles turning white.

You turned your attention back to the window and let out another long breath through your nose, but Hotch was nowhere near finished.

“What if your fever had caused you to black out in the middle of the arrest? You could’ve been ambushed from behind, too weak to fight back, and died. Reid would’ve been on his own, without backup, and could’ve died.”

Once again you turned your head to look at him, your face wiped free of emotion as you stared into his side profile.

“It’s of the utmost importance that we’re always on top of our game. We can not afford to take chances like these. You can’t-“ He sighed, sparing you the briefest of glances. “You can’t lie to me, to us, about the state of your health. By doing so, not only are you endangering yourself, but you’re endangering us all. The team, and the hostages. I won’t be able to look past this, my hands will be tied of it comes down to an evaluation.”

He wanted you to feel guilty and you understood, because you knew that you had been stupid and reckless and that you had behaved inappropriately and done what you just couldn’t do in this line of work. But no matter how deep and thick the guilt settled in the pit of your stomach, you knew his threats of ‘not being able to look past it’ were empty.

After all, he had done the exact same thing on more than one occasion since the divorce; gotten so indulged in the case at hand that he had recklessly and inappropriately broken protocol, because of which he had taken a lot of heat lately.

But still, the string you were still holding on to, the string of getting to keep your job, was short and weak, and the only thing keeping you quiet, something Hotch was taking full advantage of.

He kept scolding you for at least five more minutes, but you weren’t listening to any of it, too distracted by the painful pressure in your ears and completely out of it, barely even able to hang on to reality in your disoriented and feverish state.

The heat in the car was cranked up to the max, and yet you were shivering in your seat, shrinking back into your thin sweater as far as you could in a desperate attempt to preserve your bodily heat.

But no matter how hot your skin was to the touch, you were freezing, and it wasn’t until the weather outside took a complete three-sixty turn, forcing Hotch to put his disapproving scolding on hold in order to concentrate on not driving you into a ditch in the blinding rain, that he took the time to take note of your state.

In any other case you would’ve been all too aware of his eyes on you, but right now, you could barely even stay awake.

The pain in your ears was for the most part gone for the moment, but the fever only seemed to have gotten worse, and it showed in more ways than one. And it was in the way you had barely said a word to him, which was a near never-occurring thing, that Hotch realized that you really weren’t well.

An unsure silence fell as a blanket over the car for a moment as his eyes kept flickering back and forth between the road and you, where you were barely able to keep your own eyes open.

“Are you alright?” He finally questioned and he waited for a long moment for you to answer, and when he got none, he cautiously moved his hand out to touch your knee. “(Y/N).”

Your eyes shot open and your head whipped around to face him at the sound of your name and the feeling of his hand on your leg. “Hm?” You asked in an absent manner, instantly regretting your hasty movements when your head started throbbing.

“Are you alright?” He repeated, eyebrows creasing in worry when you raised your hand to your forehead and closed your eyes.

You took a steady breath, trying to calm your spinning head, before carefully shaking it. “No.”

“Are you ears hurting?”

“My head.” You took another breath, squeezing your eyes shut at the painful jabbing at the side of your head, feeling them sting like they would when you’d spent hours upon hours crying.

Hotch watched from the side as you rubbed your forehead and temples, taking note of how hard you were squeezing your eyes shut and how badly you were shivering. Slowly but surely, he felt the anger he had previously been feeling melting off.

He said nothing else, giving your sullen face a last glance before turning his attention back to the road in front of him. But his hand didn’t move, remaining at your knee where his thumb rubbed soft, absentminded circles as an attempt to offer you some comfort.

For a second it made your heart flutter like never before, but soon enough, you’d forgotten all about it, only being able to focus on how incredibly shitty you were feeling. Not only physically, but mentally too, because Hotch had been right about everything he had said.

You were sweating like crazy, feeling trapped in the car where you couldn’t escape your thoughts and the guilt that was getting bigger by the minute, and you wanted nothing more than to get out and breathe some fresh air.

So when Hotch stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank and get some water and painkillers for your head, you did just that, not even being able to process the fact that the rain was still pouring down until it was too late.

You stood with your back leaned against the car, hugging yourself tightly and shivering even more than before as your clothes were now soaked, but the crisp air felt nice and was a blessing for your aching head.

Hotch came out of the gas station three minutes later and spotted you immediately, wasting no time in breaking into a run in your direction.

“What are you doing?! You’re already sick!” He yelled over the sound of rain harshly colliding into the exterior of the car.

You didn’t have the energy to fight back, simply continuing to rub your forehead. “I’m sorry, it was so stuffed in there, I needed to get out.” You mumbled silently, and he sighed, walking around you to open your car door.

“Get back in the car.” He ordered, and you did as told, allowing him to help you inside and waiting for him to close the door behind you before leaning against it.

He quickly got in in the driver’s seat and wasted no time in starting the car and cranking the heat up the little way further that was possible, throwing the bottle of water and packet of painkillers into the backseat.

“You’re shaking, we need to get you dry and warm.” He said as he fuzzed over you, silently urging you to take off your outer layer and helping you do so.

He drove out of the gas station once you were properly situated again, holding your hands in his in an attempt to warm them up.

You drove for a while longer and soon enough, Hotch took a right and parked the car. But you were half asleep and completely out of it, barely even able to process that he’d left you until the door you were leaning against opened, causing you to fall right into his chest and forcing you awake.

“Here, take this.” He wasted no time in draping you in a thick, scratchy blanket that you’d never seen before.

Nevertheless, you didn’t protest, getting out of the car and staying glued to his side as he walked you in the direction of the hotel you were now apparently parked in front of.

Once you reached the door to the room you guessed he’d fixed you for the night, he unlocked the door, ushered you inside and locked the door behind you.

Out of pure instinct, your hand moved to the light switch right next to the front door, only to discover that the power was out.

You were still dizzy, your skin burning hot but freezing to your core, but you were awake now, and all you wanted was a hot shower, so your second instinct was to head into the bathroom to test the water, and just your luck, the hot water was gone, as well.

Shivering, you turned back to face the entirety of the room, the only light in sight being the light of the moon streaming in through the windows and Hotch’s phone as he used it to find his way around.

“There’s no hot water.” You deadpanned, hugging yourself close and standing still in the middle of the room.

“The power is out and there’s a flood down the road, the woman at the counter said it could take a while for it to return so we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got in the meanwhile and get you out of your wet clothes.” Hotch wasted no time in replying as he busied himself with un-making one of the two beds.

He didn’t even spare you as much as a glance but you watched him for a moment longer, taking in his hurried movements as he ripped the blankets of the bed you presumed would be his, instead placing them on the bed with your name on it.

You knew he could feel your eyes on him, but when he didn’t turn around, you let out a breath through your nose and uncrossed your arms from over your chest, instead beginning to undress yourself.

And let me tell you, that’s not an easy task when you’re shivering like a chihuahua and have an a hundred and three degree fever and the current strength of an infant.

Your arms were heavy, almost too heavy to lift, and your fingers trembled when you began working on the buttons of your shirt. You tried your hardest to see what you were doing but the lack of light in the room made it hard, and the more you strained your eyes, the more intense your headache and dizziness got.

By now, Hotch had finished setting up your bed and turned around to see you struggling, taking a few small steps in your direction.

“Do you need help?” He asked, and you dropped your hands to your sides.

“Yeah.”

He walked up to you and wasted no time in getting to work on your buttons. You watched his face the entire time, even in your feverish daze being able to pick up on how hard he was trying to focus his eyes on his fingers in a respectful manner.

Once the last button came undone, you turned around and allowed him to pull the article of clothing off your body, the snug fabric releasing a creaking sound as it was pulled off your wet skin.

Hotch wordlessly walked over to the desk placed in the room and hung the shirt over the back of a chair, while you went to work on your pants.

Luckily, this piece of clothing only had one button and you managed to get it undone without too much trouble, sitting down on your bed and pulling them off – this part taking a bit more struggle seeing as they were stuck to your skin just like the shirt had been.

But you managed and wasted no time in crawling under the multitude of blankets that Hotch had neatly piled up on the bed, tucking yourself in as tightly as possible and pulling them up to your nose in an attempt to fill the inside of the cocoon with warm air.

It worked to an extent, your skin quickly regaining its previous heat and feeling so hot to the touch that one could’ve easily thought that you were on the verge of burning up.

But it did nothing to warm your core, and no matter how hard you tried keeping the shivers at bay by relaxing your body and keeping your breaths steady, it was to no use.

You laid there in silence for a good moment, becoming unaware of your surroundings once again, including the pair of eyes burning into the side of your face from across the room.

Hotch watched you closely while he followed his own advice and discarded his wet shirt, unbuckling his belt, hanging it on a chair and kicking off his shoes and socks.

Dressed now only in his damp slacks, he moved to grab the bottle of water and painkillers that he’d gotten from the gas station, and continued to the side of your bed, where he crouched down in front of you.

“Take this.” He instructed and you opened your eyes, pushing yourself up with all your might so that you could take the outstretched items from his hand.

You swallowed the pill with two gulps of water and fell right back into bed once he had taken the bottle back, pulling the blankets up to your nose again.

He stood back up to his full height and as a strong shiver went down your spine, the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

“I need more heat, this isn’t enough. You’ll have to lay with me.”

Hotch’s face pulled into one of mild surprise at the sound of your unexpected words, and he instantly started protesting. “I don’t think-“

But you interrupted, staring up at him with those angry eyes that he so often found himself at the receiving end of. “I’m freezing my ass off and you’re cold, too. I’m not about to let you sleep without blankets. It’s just until the power and hot water comes back.”

He stared back at you, face ever so stoic. “Fine.” He gave in, and only then did you soften your glare.

You closed your eyes as he began removing his pants, slowly scooting back on the bed to make room for him, and you couldn’t help but let out a breath of relief when he lifted the covers and slid in next to you.

Your skin was hot with fever but somehow, his was even hotter, burning you to the touch.

You were still freezing, but as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, you instantly found it easier to relax, your shivering toning down a great deal.

Out of pure instinct, you snuggled further into his chest and you could feel on the stiffness of his body that he was uncomfortable and unsure of how to react in the situation you’d so inconveniently found yourself in.

Opening your eyes as far as your heavy eyelids would let you, you found him to be staring up into the roof. But the second he felt your heavy gaze on him, he turned his head to the side to meet your eyes.

Heat flushed through your entire body and you had been aroused enough times to recognize the feeling.

You knew all of this had started off innocent, a person simply trying to warm up another person as an act of kindness and basic human decency, and you never would’ve had these impure thoughts about him in any other situation, but your body was reacting on its own to the feeling of his skin against yours, and so was his.

Your faces were close to each other, mere inches apart, and before you were able to stop yourself, you leaned in closer and brushed your lips against his.

He retaliated immediately, pulling back and looking down at you with an unreadable expression written all over his face.

He told himself that the fever was making you confused and disoriented, but when you moved back in for a second attempt, this time with a lot more clarity in your eyes and confidence in your movements, he didn’t pull back.

You remained still for the entirety of the kiss, your lips just pressed against each other’s with little to no extended movements. When you came apart again, your breaths were heavy but the sound of your heart beating loudly in your ears was the only thing you could hear.

You stared into each other’s eyes and your eyes momentarily fluttered shut when he brought his hand up and grazed your lower lip with his thumb.

And then his lips were on yours again, and this time you just kept going.

His hands cradled your face and you laid down flat on your back, wrapping your arms around his neck and opening your legs to allow him to move on top of you. You pulled him impossibly close, a surge of sudden energy bursting through your entire body.

He was a gentleman at heart but he didn’t bother asking you if you were sure, knowing better than anyone that you were more than capable of telling him if you weren’t. You were both adults, you knew exactly what you were doing.

You’d had your fair share of rendezvouses throughout your life, but none had left you feeling like this.

Passion, desperation, fervor, urgency, impatience, hunger, eagerness, and every single other synonym that could be used to describe the lustful attraction between two people were currently battling in your body.

But more present than any other feeling was the anger; anger directed at you, fueled by the way you had put yourself and your entire team at risk by lying about the state of your health, and anger directed at him, fueled by the way he had always underestimated you and doubted your abilities.

You were both furious in all ways possible and neither of you had any plans on stopping, his hands already making their way down your body and heading straight for the direction of the place where you needed him the most.

His hands were warm but yours were cold, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake as they traveled his arms, chest, shoulders and neck.

One of your hands stayed at his neck, tracing light touches over his throat and jaw, while the other one moved down the length of your own body to meet with his where it was hovering above the line of your underwear.

You grabbed a hold of it and pushed his palm flat against the bottom of your stomach, urging him to continue, and he didn’t waste a second, dipping his hand inside the waistband of the thin fabric that was still wet from the rain and resting uncomfortably against your skin.

Breath getting caught in your throat and heart palpitating in your chest, you pushed your head back into the pillow, your eyes falling shut at the pleasurable feeling of his fingers finding your core, your lips coming apart in the process.

Instead, his face bent down and nuzzled the crook of your neck, lips leaving slow kisses behind as he adjusted his hand.

It obviously wasn’t going as smoothly as he’d like though, the wet fabric getting caught on his skin and causing a frustrated sound to escape his throat.

“These need to go.” He mumbled into the skin of your shoulder and you eagerly nodded, completely ignoring the headache that was still going strong.

You raised your hips to allow him access, and he wasted no time in pushing the underwear off your legs, leaving you to shake them off your feet.

They got lost somewhere underneath the numerous blankets but you couldn’t care less, your hands hurrying down to the waistband of his boxers.

He drew in a breath at the feeling of your icy cold fingers, but made no move to stop you, helping you in ridding himself of the only remaining clothing he had on and then moving on to unclasp your bra, carelessly throwing it onto the floor and latching his lips back onto yours.

His hand returned to your heat and just like he had done mere seconds before, you sucked in a sharp breath as his fingers dipped in, running a line up your folds before pushing their way inside.

He hooked his finger down into your entrance to gather some of your wetness, bringing it up all the way along your slit and stopping only when he reached the sensitive bundle of nerves that was just throbbing with need.

That’s when the first moan of many to come left your lips, being muffled into the kiss and your stomach exploding with butterflies.

But just like with any other aspect of your life, you were impatient, so when he pushed a finger inside of you, you broke free of the kiss and shook your head, reaching your hand down to stop him by his wrist.

“No, you’re going too slow.” You panted, pulling his hand away and looking into his darkened eyes. “I need you, now.”

Your voice thinned into a whisper toward the end and you brought your hands back up to his face.

He remained still for a few seconds, just looking at you with his usual stoic expression and pursed lips, but the soon dipped down to meet your face again, brushing his lips against yours so lightly you could barely feel it, before pressing down with more force.

What started off as a close-mothed kiss quickly turned into an open-mouthed one, and you moved down on the mattress, raising your legs to wrap them around his waist as he positioned himself at your entrance.

He wasn’t fully erected yet, as was to be expected seeing as you had barely touched him and things had moved so quickly, but the second he was fully sheathed inside of you, that changed in an instant.

The feeling of being filled so perfectly caused your face to screw up in pleasure and he couldn’t help but let a small groan slip past his lips, really showing how long it had been since he last partook in sexual activities.

But he wasn’t the only one who had gone untouched for a long period of time. When you worked a job as stressful and time-consuming as yours, it was hard to find enough spare time to get out and meet any potential lovers, so it was safe to say that it had been just as long for you as it had for him and it didn’t take long for you to let out a moan to match his own.

He wasted no time in starting to move, encouraged to do so by the way your legs tightened around his hips to pull him in deeper.

You clung to him with all your might as he slowly but surely picked up his pace and found a good rhythm, squeezing your eyes shut and being reminded of the fever you still had when feeling the brims of your eyes sting.

Your hands moved to grasp at the back of his head and you pressed your lips against his, baiting a groan from his throat when tightening your grip on the strands of raven hair you held between your fingers.

His movements were confident and his lips moved skillfully from yours to your jaw, down to your neck before settling in the crook of your neck.

One of his hands moved from the mattress to hold on to the headboard of the bed and his toned arm flexing and unflexing right over your face was without a doubt the most attractive sight you’d ever seen.

“Hotch...” You moaned out between thrusts, and he grumbled in return.

“Aaron.” He corrected you darkly, and you drew in a gasp of air at the sound.

“Aaron-” You began repeating, but was quickly cut off by your own moan and after that, no more words were spoken.

The heavy breaths he released in the crook between your neck and shoulder only added to the already existing dampness on your skin, courtesy of the fever that you had almost forgotten was still there, and it was only now that the heat that had previously been restricted to the outer layer of your skin caught up with the rest of your body and made its way into your core.

The only sounds that could be heard was the heavy rain smattering on the metal ceiling outside your room, mixing in with the pants and low moans and groans escaping your lips, the creaking of the headboard that Hotch was holding on to for dear life, and the slapping of skin on skin.

He didn’t slow down once and not as much as a word was spoken, every emotion and feeling instead being voiced in sounds of pleasure and the occasional kiss when he brought his head up from your neck for air.

You got completely lost in the pleasure and you had no idea how long you went on for, but soon enough, you were beginning to get sore, the pleasure starting to switch into a mild discomfort.

But as if right on cue, the guttural groans muffling into your damp skin became more frequent, and before you knew it, Hotch’s entire body tensed up as he reached his climax and released inside of you.  

But you weren’t quite there yet, never having been able to orgasm just by penetration.

You didn’t know how he was able to do both at the same time, but as he rode out his high, Hotch brought his hand down from the headboard and in between your bodies at the same time, heading right for the throbbing bundle of nerves where he wasted no time in getting to work.

That was the final touch you needed for your stomach to begin to turn. The combination of the way he was hitting the perfect spot over and over again and his thumb showing no mercy was so intense that you reached your high in no time.

You pressed your face into his neck just like he was doing yours, your fingers tugging on his hair so harshly that you probably crossed the line between pleasurable and painful. But he didn’t make note on it, picking up his pace as a string of curses left your lips, blending with your moans and mixing with his name, something he was clearly liking the sound of.

And just as you toppled of the edge, bright flashes flashing on the inside of your eyelids as your entire stomach pulled into a tight knot, the lights in the ceiling of the room flashed as well, the radiator over by the window buzzing to life as the power returned.

Talk about timing.

He kept on pumping into you with sloppy, lazy thrusts as you rode out your high and as soon as he felt you relax around him again, his entire body slumped against yours in a moment of exhaustion.

You laid limp, chest rising and falling in quick pants as you caught your breath. His hand moved up to hold himself upright by the head of the bed and your hands remained at the back of his neck, fingers gently pulling through his hair that was now damp with sweat.

After a moment of silence, he moved off of you, allowing you to properly breathe.

“How’s your head?” He asked.

His voice was strained and it was clear that now that the arousal was gone and everything was over and done with, neither of you had any idea of how to act.

Pulling one of the blankets up to your shoulders and holding it in place over you previously exposed chest, you cleared your throat.

“All good.” You replied breathlessly and just then, reality came crashing back down, an involuntary shiver going down your spine and rocking your entire body as it became aware of the chilliness of the air around you.  

He caught on to this at once and turned his head to look at you with a deadpanned expression. “You’re still shivering, you should go take a warm shower before you go to sleep.”

His words brought a small snort from your lips. “I’m not shivering, I’m trembling. There’s a difference.” You answered, raising an eyebrow. “But I won’t say no to a shower.” You sighed, and as you wasted no time in beginning to get out of the bed, Hotch averted his eyes to the roof to give you some privacy.

The cold air hit you like a train when you removed the blankets from your body, your shivers becoming worse now with the layer of drying sweat on your skin.

It wasn’t until you stood up that the fever came crashing down on you with full force again, a spell of hot dizziness taking over you. You had to hold on to the wall beside the bed to regain your composure and once you did, you began walking, only then realizing how sore you really were.

As quickly as your quivering legs would take you, you walked into the bathroom and flicked on the light in the ceiling before heading straight for the shower.

As you turned on the faucet this time, you were pleased to discovered that the hot water had returned along with the power, and you closed your eyes in satisfaction even when the water had yet to touch any other part of your body than your fingers.

You remained standing there for a moment, holding yourself upright by the sink while waiting for the water to reach the perfect temperature.

You then brought your hand back to yourself and turned back around as you let the water run behind you.

Hotch was still in your bed, now having moved into a sitting position and absentmindedly fiddling with the watch on his wrist, seeming to be deep in thought.

And you were a profiler. You could tell with no struggle at all what was bothering him; guilt, most likely directed toward Haley as he had just been with another woman for the first time since the divorce.

The fact made you feel all kinds of feelings, and you slowly walked back to the doorway, on which you leaned as you continued watching him from a distance.

“I’m still really cold, you know.” You commented lamely, hoping that he’d take the hint on what you were trying to say.

His head slowly turned in your direction, his eyes tired and lips pulled into a straight line. His eyes wandered your still naked form for the briefest of second, but he quickly caught himself and averted them to yours.

“I thought you said you weren’t cold anymore.” He answered in a monotone voice, and you raised your eyebrows in return.

“Did I? I don’t think I did.” You played, absentmindedly tapping your fingers against the wooden doorframe.

He stared at you for a second, not seeming to care about you in the slightest anymore. But tthe way his lips then pulled into a small smile when looking at you showed you that he did, in fact, catch on to your intent.

And when he wordlessly got out of bed and started walking in your direction, leading you into the shower with a featherlight touch to the small of your back, you knew for a fact that the moment of passion you had just shared had been much more than just an act executed in the heat of the moment.

But if you thought that you were off the hook regarding your irresponsible behavior during the case just because you now happened to have your boss wrapped around your finger, you had another thing coming.

Tagged: @must-be-a-weasley-92​ @zizzlekwum​ @cozytruecrimeaddict​ @lovelynervouskingdom​ @rousethemouse​

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[justforbooks]

Susie Steiner, who has died aged 51, three years after being diagnosed with incurable brain cancer, was once asked how similar she was to Detective Sergeant Manon Bradshaw, the member of the Cambridgeshire Major Incident Team first encountered by readers in her 2016 novel Missing, Presumed. “Manon is only 98.34% me – the rest is pure invention,” she responded.

Although she was evidently joking – she had never been a police officer, and nor was she unhappily embroiled in the world of internet dating, as Manon is at the beginning of her fictional life – her answer had a core of truth. It was Steiner’s interest and intuitive understanding of the dynamics between people, her ability to be alive to the complexities of their desires and their frailties, and her commitment to exploring questions of justice and equality, that animated her protagonist and made her so memorable.

DS, and later DI, Bradshaw – her unusual first name, readers learn, is the Hebrew for “bitter”, and a caprice by her mother – had three outings: Missing, Presumed, which centred on the abduction of a young woman whose well-to-do parents are friends with the home secretary, placing the investigative team under increased pressure; Persons Unknown (2017), in which Bradshaw’s adopted son, who is black, is arrested on suspicion of murder, and which was inspired by a real case; and Remain Silent (2020), published not long after the beginning of lockdown, which explores a violent death in the Lithuanian migrant worker community and which also sees Bradshaw faced with her partner’s cancer diagnosis.

Steiner, unbeknown to her, had written Remain Silent with “a 9cm tumour pushing my brain over its midline” and, in a piece she wrote about writing, cancer and lockdown, she described wishing she could have included the specificity of her treatment in the novel: the hard chairs in waiting rooms, the contrast between vigorous medical staff and depleted patients.

The impulse to capture detail was typical of her writing. Born in north London, the daughter of two psychoanalysts, Deborah (nee Pickering) and John Steiner, Susie went to Henrietta Barnett school and read English at York University before embarking on a career in journalism. She started out at the Hendon and Finchley Times before stints at the Times and the Telegraph led her to a job as a features editor and writer at the Guardian in 2001.

She remained at the paper for 11 years, although she was out of the office at a writing retreat in Devon when she spotted a poster on the kitchen wall bearing the words Keep Calm and Carry On. She discovered that it had originated in an independent bookshop in Alnwick, which she contacted so that she could recommend it to readers of Weekend magazine.

She was cheered, she later recalled, by its “message of stoicism and patience”, although its phenomenal popularity also prompted her to insist, semi-humorously, that she could not be blamed for its subsequent ubiquity. (Posters were clearly something that caught her eye: in Persons Unknown, she introduces the shopkeeper Birdie Fielding, who often consults one emblazoned with the image of Tony Blair for advice. Birdie cropped up in a piece that Steiner wrote about the perils of “writer’s butt”: “While some authors’ fantasies are about sex and death, mine are very much centred on unfettered access to the crisps aisle. I dwell on Frazzles a lot in this novel. As Birdie says: ‘Whoever said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, has never set in on her third mince pie.’”)

While at the Guardian, Steiner met the journalist Tom Happold (who is now director of the creative video agency Happen Digital); they married in 2006, settled in West Hampstead and had two sons, George and Ben. Steiner, her husband told me, had always wanted to have children and was a very loving mother; and the compassion and empathy with which she portrayed Manon Bradshaw’s experience of single life and childlessness, after which she first adopts a child and later becomes pregnant, is striking.

She worked on her first novel, Homecoming (2013), for several years, drawing on her knowledge of the North York Moors, where she and Happold had a cottage, to create a multi-generational portrait of a farming family. But it was with the Bradshaw series that she really found her fictional feet, earning praise from readers, reviewers, her fellow crime writers and prize juries; she was twice shortlisted for the Theakston Old Peculier novel of the year award, and Missing, Presumed was selected for a slot in the Richard & Judy Book Club. A great admirer of Kate Atkinson’s Jackson Brodie novels, she too had the ability of combining strong characterisation with social commentary, and folding both into a compelling plot.

She faced challenges that, like the poster she popularised, required stoicism and patience. Steiner suffered from a hereditary and degenerative sight condition, retinitis pigmentosa, which was diagnosed in childhood and worsened in adult life; in 2013, she was registered blind. Her friend the novelist Lissa Evans described fast-paced walks on Hampstead Heath, in which she would forget that Steiner had little vision, so engrossed were they both in their conversation; she was, said Evans, “so clever and funny, straightforward and kind, warm yet caustic, penetrating yet easy to talk to, a huge presence in an ordinary-sized person”.

In a piece for the Independent on Sunday about her blindness that cited Milton, Joyce and the mythological figure Tiresias, Steiner wrote fascinatingly about the links between her condition and writing, saying: “You are reliant on another’s help. You cannot dictate – you must wait. This is both frightening and difficult but, I believe, is of service to the writer.” It allowed her to appreciate, she was convinced, the sometimes invisible suffering of others.

The greatest blow was the discovery, in May 2019, of a grade 4 glioblastoma, after which she underwent six hours of brain surgery and months of radiation and chemotherapy; she wrote movingly of her situation both on social media and in print, retaining great humour even in exceptionally dark times.

She is survived by her husband and sons, her sister, Kate, and brother, Michael, and her parents.

🔔 Susan Elizabeth Steiner, writer and journalist, born 29 June 1971; died 2 July 2022

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[sunflowerdigs]

My take on Buck vs Evan

I originally wrote this as a comment to a post, but decided to flesh it out a bit and turn it into it's own meta.

When Bobby is reckless, it's because he cares so much about protecting people. I think that, for a long time, he has projected that onto Buck. And I don't think he's wrong to do it. Buck does care about protecting people he barely knows, and that's part of why he's good at his job. But Buck also has this gaping, unhealed wound connected to a need for family that went unfulfilled as a child. And that need to belong and be part of something also motivates him to take ridiculous risks. And I think that Bobby only started to cotton on to this second facet to Buck in 4x14.

Buck has always felt that Evan was never good enough to deserve a family (mostly because of his parents' negligence). In order to receive love from his mother and father, Evan had to become someone else, someone who was never afraid of getting hurt in order to get the love he wanted. So, Buck was born (but not yet named). That's why the title of 4x05 is Buck Begins rather than Evan Begins, because in the first scene we see the birth of Buck as Evan falls off of Daniel's bike and his father offers him attention and ice cream. Buck could be a part of Evan's family in a way that Evan never could - he could receive love and also be noticed.

Evan has repeated this process with the 118, his surrogate family. Again, Evan is not someone the 118 could love, so he has become Buck (fully this time, name and all). Buck is always the first one out there sacrificing himself so that no one else on the team gets hurt. In Evan's head, both Evan's place in the 118 family and the opportunity to recieve love from its members are contingent on Buck fulfilling this role.

But then Eddie got shot and almost died on Evan's watch (as he is in plainclothes). Evan actually saved Eddie but, like in the tsunami episode, he has a hard time seeing it that way. In Evan's head, since he was present, Eddie shouldn't have gotten shot at all (just like Christopher shouldn't have fallen in the water at all). Buck should have covered him and gotten shot instead because that's Buck's job and Buck doing his job is what allows Evan to have family. So Buck had to double-down on the next big rescue and let everyone know that he was there, ready to die before everyone else, and therefore worthy of being on the 118.

I think this is why Buck did what he did during the rescue of the construction worker in 4x14. And I think Bobby finally saw the action, if not for what it was, then at least for what it wasn't (Buck simply being selfless). And I think that's why his lecture was short - he didn't know what to say because he either didn't quite know what he was dealing with from Buck or because he knew all too well and was scared by it. As an addict, Bobby had to hit rock bottom before he could get better - what does Buck's rock bottom look like?

Imo, Eddie understands it better because Eddie spends more time with Buck and has gotten to know him a bit more as a person rather than only as a firefighter. He knew what to say in the hospital scene (and it wasn't what Taylor said in any of the scenes she had with Buck). Eddie is likely the only one capable of helping Buck to knit together the pieces of Buck and Evan into something that Evan can live with and that won't get him killed. Because that's where Buck is headed, that's the only place Buck can go.

At least, that's my take. I would appreciate any additions or corrections, though, as I'm sure I'm missing important pieces.

[blossom-hwa]

Could I request . . . best friend!chan + boys' night out, some platonic banter and wholesome drunk escapades?

Okay ngl Javi I have never gotten drunk or anything so like.... I’m so sorry I don’t know how to write this smdkgshg but I wanted to write platonic banter and I started this like texting series in my last drabble game so.... I kinda continued it here but with a reader too?? I hope that’s okay I’m so sorry kjfskdjhguh

(Read the original text aus here: danceracha | 3racha | vocalracha | the boyz | both groups aka a nightmare)

Stray Kids drabble game: send me a Stray Kids member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

~

Title: Cafe Shenanigans 2: Electric Boogaloo

Pairing: none (all platonic), reader is gender neutral

Word count: 1.3k

Triggers: cursing

~

quick clarification:

better than tony: chan

chingban: changbin

gremlin: jisung

y/n/wow: y/n

~

better than tony: we have a new worker joining today please for the love of god do Not scare them off

better than tony has added y/n to the group chat!

y/n: chan why is this your nickname

chingban: and why did you talk about a new worker all serious n shit we literally know y/n

gremlin: probably better than we know chan tbh

y/n: what’s my favorite color

chingban: ...

gremlin: ...

y/n: that’s what I thought

better than tony: I'm regretting everything rn 

chingban: ???? nothing has happened ????????

better than tony: something is going to happen I know it is

better than tony: it’s only a matter of time

y/n: chan you still haven’t answered my question

y/n: why is this your nickname

better than tony: I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you

gremlin: I'm gonna do it

chingban: I'm torn between wanting to cease existence

chingban: and wanting to see chan melt into the ground out of embarrassment

better than tony: I swear to fucking god you assholes IF YOU DO IT

gremlin: [ sent 1 audio attachment wow.mp3 ]

y/n: oh my what’s this ??

better than tony: y/n go to work

y/n: I'm taking my break now <3

better than tony: I'm revoking best friend privileges

y/n: that’s fine I can make two whole other best friends right here 

gremlin: :D

chingban: :D

better than tony: I knew this was a mistake

y/n: I think my twenty minute break is long enough to listen to a three minute song! 

y/n: bye whores

better than tony: jisung say your prayers

gremlin: I'm willing to take one for the team

gremlin: it was only a matter of time before they found out anyway

chingban: you can’t argue with that

better than tony: I’D STILL RATHER KEEP IT UNDER FUCKING WRAPS

gremlin: are those choking noises from the back

better than tony: this was a mistake this was a mistake this was a fucking mistake

chingban: dw I'll go check on them

chingban: make sure y/n isn’t dead on their first day on the job

better than tony: I honestly hope they choke

chingban: update all is well

better than tony: damn

gremlin: that?? is??? your???? best????? friend??????

better than tony: not anymore

better than tony: anyone who knows about wow must be put to death

chingban: so our entire friend group should be put to death?????

better than tony: are you arguing with that

gremlin: you know what I can’t argue

gremlin: I'm surprised the fbi hasn’t shot us down yet

y/n has changed their name to wow!

better than tony: ok you know what fuck you

wow: what the fuck are you doing to get the fbi to shoot you down

gremlin: IT’S ALIVE

better than tony: unfortunately

wow: it ??????????????????????????????????

chingban: idk about them but I've never done anything that merits being shot down yb the fbi

gremlin: wow is an offense punishable by death

chingban: I agree it’s an offense but death ???????

better than tony: stop texting and go back to work I'm tired of you all

wow: I'm still on my break

better than tony: everyone except y/n stop texting and go back to work

chingban: the favoritism is real

better than tony: y/n is my best friend suck it up

gremlin: I thought you disowned them from that position ???

better than tony: unfortunately they’re still more tolerable than you two combined

wow: I'm still reeling over being called ‘it’

wow: bitch ass han jisung you think I'm Frankenstein’s monster or some shit? or the clown from that movie???

gremlin: do you want me to answer that question

wow: say your prayers

chingban: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

better than tony: I regret everything

~

wow: hey I didn’t know hyunjin/minho/Felix worked at the build a bear at this mall

chingban: literally where have you been

chingban: they’ve been there for at least six months

gremlin: why is only felix’s name capitalized

wow: 1. bitch do you think I come to the mall to go to build a bear?

wow: 2. autocorrect

wow: wow jisung your autocorrect is shit if it isn’t capitalizing Felix

gremlin: what do you come to the mall for

gremlin: also what of it

wow: to bother chan

wow: and mooch off the wifi because the connection at home is shit

wow: oh and work now ig

better than tony: nice to see your priorities

wow: <3

wow: actually jisung. don’t tell me you fucking actually go back and make Felix uncapitalized 

gremlin: caught

gremlin: and wait till they find out where seungmin/jeongin work at 

chingban: what the fuck why wouldn’t you just let autocorrect do its shit

better than tony: he’s jisung do you really need another reason

chingban: fair enough

gremlin: fair enough

wow: also I've known where the fuck seungmin/jeongin work I used to work at the tutoring center too dumbasses

better than tony: isn’t the pay better there? I still don’t know why you quit

wow: if you mean better by like fifty cents then yeah

gremlin: I-

chingban: I thought tutoring would pay a lot more than working at a shitty cafe???????????????????????????????

wow: yeah that’s what I thought too

wow: and then I found out how much chan was getting paid and I was like what the fuck I'd have so much fun working here even with slightly lower pay 

wow: so I quit

gremlin: respect

wow: wasn’t a hard decision

wow: the kids are horrible

better than tony: I thought you liked some of them

wow: “some” is the key word

chingban: ouch

wow: at least I get to fuck around here without getting in too much trouble

better than tony: isn’t sangyeon chill??

wow: Ella isn’t

gremlin: oh I've heard horror stories from seungin

wow: they’re all true

wow: honestly wish you’d burned down the tutoring center when you set fire to the refrigerator jisung

better than tony: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

chingban: more like who DOESN’T know about that

wow: seungmin sent me pics

better than tony: betrayed by my own children

wow: he’s more my child than yours and you know it

chingban: does that mean y/n and chan are our parents????

wow: no

better than tony: no

gremlin: oh my god I have more parents now !!!!!

wow: suddenly I feel Regret

better than tony: welcome to my world

gremlin: I'll set fire to the refrigerator again if you don’t say you’re my parents

better than tony: isn't this how you bribed Jacob into giving you hugs instead of giving me hugs

wow: Jacob?

chingban: other worker along with chanhee they’re on vacation for the week

wow: o

better than tony: also please don't set fire to the refrigerator

better than tony: or even try to

gremlin: have my conditions been met

wow: fucking gremlin bitch ass child

wow: fine I'm one of your parents

gremlin: 1/2

better than tony: fine

gremlin: 2/2 :D

wow: let the record say I only ever wanted seungmin and jeongin

wow: and Felix

gremlin: ouch

chingban: ouch

wow: you force me to be your parent you suffer the consequences

better than tony: Felix is MY SON

wow: SO YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS ARE AUSTRALIAN YOU HAVE AN AUTOMATIC BOND? SUCK MY DICK CHAN

better than tony: I’LL FIGHT YOU

wow: SQUARE UP OLD MAN

chingban: jisung did you predict this

gremlin: in reality no but for the clout yes

chingban: ...

gremlin: I am Agent of Chaos(TM)

chingban: that I can see

[rayveewrites]

Ray Hijacks the Team ZIT Ghostbuster AU Again

So @shadeswift99 made a few posts a while ago about a Team ZIT(S) ghostbuster AU, And then I may or may not have hijacked the post to add in ideas for most of the other hermits because why not.

Now, back then I was spitballing ideas and making them up on the spot, which is admittedly my usual writing process, but hey.

That said, I've had more time to think about it, and then last night I blacked out for a few hours and came to with a Google Doc filled with short bios for all of the hermits and a handful of hermit-adjacents. Now, this rapidly turned into an urban fantasy AU in my hands, but hey. It's fun.

This is in alphabetical order, with alternate personas (EX, Helsknight, Beetlejhost) beneath their original counterparts when applicable:

Bdubs

Lives in an old mansion in the woods alongside Doc for reasons known only to them. Bdubs works as an interior designer, with a side gig as a freelance hairdresser. His eyes are unnaturally large, similar to Keralis’, and he is at least partially a plant. Completely feral and frequently gets in trouble for having knives on him at all times. He and Cleo have a thing called Knife Club which makes everyone else nervous. Nobody messes with Knife Club. It’s not worth it. Sunbathes frequently.

Beef

Is a perfectly normal human being. He works as a butcher with a side gig as a graphic designer specializing in album covers and spends his free time playing pokemon and dragging Etho along to social events. He was the first person to spot the cryptid, and the first person who Etho approached of his own accord.

Biffa

Is a ghost possessing a robotic shell. Biffa is from the future. While initially his main goal was to get back home to his own time, Biffa has since made friends and settled down into a new life running a cafe specializing in a wide range of teas. He’s quite content with this, and has actually found himself far happier than he was in his own time. While his nature means he can see, hear and touch ghosts, his body was built specifically for a disembodied soul to be in the driver’s seat, and he doesn’t want to risk another taking control. Also, he has more important things to do than have fistfights with ghosts.

Cleo

Is a ghost possessing her own dead corpse. Her nature allows her to see, hear and touch ghosts. Can and will fistfight spirits. She works as a teacher, so she’s usually busy, but occasionally in really nasty situations the Beetlejhost will drag her in to break a ghost’s legs. Does sculpture in her free time, and is actually really good. The only one who can wrangle Beetle to any real capacity, and she’s learned to keep him on a fairly short leash. Housemates with Joe, and Keralis also pops in pretty frequently. Has Knife Club with Bdubs. Has an enchanted flower crown that prevents her from decaying further; a gift from Beetle. Recently started learning magic in the form of necromancy and illusions. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Zloy, in which she temporarily traps his soul in random inanimate objects every now and then.

Cub

A bit of a ‘mad scientist’ archetype, Cub’s experiments are not exactly the most ethical, though they’re at least more professional than Doc’s. Responsible for the creation of Jevin. Cub gets possessed stupidly easily- sometimes willingly- and can usually handle it himself but sometimes has to call for help. Has a magical method of communication with Scar for exactly this reason. Has a day job as co-owner of a business called ConCorp, which he started with Scar. Has probably broken the Geneva Convention.

Doc

Was presumably human at one point. Now an abomination. Repeated experiments on himself have resulted in a massively changed facial and foot structure, a body covered in mottled green scales, claws, and goat horns. He lost half his face in one of his experiments, and constructed a new cybernetic one. He lost his right arm fighting God. Killed said god and would do it again. Lives in a mansion in the woods with Bdubs, though nobody’s really sure why. Owns a casino because of course he does. Also a living crime against fashion, because the man refuses to wear anything other than his tattered lab coat, torn jeans, and crocs.

Ely

Runs the local radio station. Nobody’s ever seen him in person, and nobody knows where he gets people’s voice clips for his remixes. Probably a cryptid. Maybe a ghost. Seems pretty chill, despite the blatant invasions of privacy.

Etho

Is a cryptid. Lives out in the woods in an abomination that can barely be called a house. Has never been seen in anything other than full Kakashi cosplay. Tends to keep to himself, but occasionally lets Beef drag him along to social events, often with Doc and Bdubs. Nobody really knows what his deal is. Probably not human. Probably.

False

Used to be part of an illegal underground cage fighting ring, until she earned enough to buy her way out. Having grown up in said ring, she struggles to adjust to normal life, but living in a town where the barista is a robot and the local tailor has wings makes it easier. She now has a job as security at Doc’s casino, alongside Iskall.

Grian

Is either an angel or a demigod, but nobody knows which. Has wings. Is both a tailor and an architect. A complete gremlin who has elaborate masks of various birds and will wear them to commit crimes. Eats seeds. Messes with everyone else’s plants. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats. Volunteers at the local theatre.

Hypno

Has three eyes, but hides the third one under a bandanna at all times. Can see ghosts with it. Had problems with sections of plumbing randomly getting clogged and also making very weird noises, and eventually called Team ZIT when the plumbers couldn’t find the source. Was prepared for ghosts, but wound up with a slime creature instead. Works in a $2 store for some reason.

Impulse

Is fully human. The most sensible member of Team ZIT (which admittedly isn’t saying much), Impulse has a day job as a freelancer building custom PCs and fixing broken tech. Agreed to the whole ghostbusting deal because he was bored, mostly. Was the first one to meet Skizz face-to-face, and is the one to own that particular place outright. Gets possessed every now and then, usually by larger spirits. Used to run solely on caffeine and chronic anxiety until Zedaph started getting on his case about his sleep schedule. Now he runs on less caffeine, more sleep, and the same amount of chronic anxiety.

Iskall

Was part of a cloning experiment to create the ultimate hitman, and was the only known one to both survive and escape before the whole thing was shut down by the authorities. Their eye and arm were replaced with cybernetics in order to increase their already enhanced abilities, and they were chased by said authorities, eventually winding up on Mumbo’s doorstep and becoming Mumbo’s problem. Now works as security at Doc’s casino, alongside False. Lives at Jungle Wood flats. Occasionally volunteers at the local theatre. Does bonsai as a hobby.

Jevin

Is the slime creature in the pipes. Hypno lets him live with him under the condition he stops blocking the plumbing and making weird noises at 3 AM (Jevin still blocks the plumbing and makes weird noises at 3 AM, just not as much as he was). Has taught himself to take a humanoid shape, and likes having fingers. Sleeps in the bathtub because he can. Was created from a vat of chemicals in a secret lab underneath the house, which used to be owned by Cub. Doesn’t really talk to the man in question that much, but will occasionally refer to Cub as his father for the sole reason of watching him go through eight existential crises in three minutes. Has a glock.

Joe

Head librarian at the local public library, and has read a lot of books on Supernatural Things. Is a veritable fountain of exposition if you can figure out what he’s saying or have Cleo along with you to threaten the integrity of his shins. Has never been seen in the same place as the Beetlejhost. Are they the same person? Are they entirely separate beings? Is there a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde-type situation going on? Who knows!

Beetlejhost

Literally nobody really knows what his deal is. Nobody. Team ZIT ran into him on a call that they expected to be a false alarm and then he decided to follow them home. Spends most of his time being a minor nuisance in the most bizarre ways possible. Is implied to be responsible for the Ever Given getting lodged in the Suez Canal, but never confirmed. When he’s not bothering Team ZIT or getting them out of tight spots, he’s usually pestering Cleo, the only one who can keep him in line. It’s not really known if he and Cleo have a history or if they’re just Like That.

Keralis

Is a ghost haunting an architecture firm, and is mostly bound to the building, though he can travel to other buildings the firm has built, which is, uh, most of them. Initially only able to do small things- mostly writing notes or drawing diagrams- he eventually meets the Beetlejhost when the latter follows Mumbo to work one day for shits and giggles (he wanted to see how long he could mess with Mumbo before the man noticed. As it turned out, about a week, and by the end it was Iskall who noticed). After a couple of days in which Beetle teaches Keralis Ghost Things™, he scares half the office when he finally manifests for the first time. Has unnaturally large eyes and nicknames for most of the workers. Has no idea how he died or what his unfinished business might be. Very knowledgeable about architecture, and his input is usually very much appreciated.

Mumbo

Is a perfectly normal human being who does IT at Keralis’ architecture firm. Lives at Jungle Wood flats and spends most of his free time tinkering with tech and trying to keep Grian and Iskall out of trouble, which is a losing battle. Has a large, beating golden heart in his flat. He’s not really sure what its deal is, but if he feeds it apples it produces enough power for the entire building. Oh, and if he forgets to feed it for an extended period of time it starts draining his bank account. It’s really weird.

Pixlriffs

Was a perfectly normal human being until he died protecting a certain Russian zombie and became a perfectly normal ghost. Was a reporter in life and is a reporter in death. Runs a blog alongside Zloy about the local goings-on, supernatural or not. The blog’s the type where unless you live in/near the town you most likely won’t stumble across it, but they do have a small following of outsiders who assume the blog’s just a work of fiction. His unfinished business is to prevent Zloy from doing anything particularly stupid, a constant battle. Is able to go more places than Zloy due to being incorporeal, but respects people’s privacy. He’s bound to Zloy to a certain degree, not being able to go beyond a certain range of his friend. The range is pretty big, though, and he has plenty freedom of movement.

Python

Had a run-in with the fae as a kid, in which he accidentally pissed one off. In retribution, the faerie challenged him to answer a riddle or he’d be turned into a snake. Python’s answer was partially correct, so the faerie only transformed him partially. Python is fairly chill, though he strongly dislikes the cold and starts hissing if anyone disturbs him during Sun Time™. Sometimes Bdubs, being partially flora, joins Python for Sun Time™. He’s not venomous, because, you know...python. Also, he has a mildly disturbing habit of strangling rats and mice and then eating them whole, but he can’t help it and just tries not to do so when he has company.

Ren

Is a werewolf. He’s pretty chill regardless of form, though it’s only been recently he’s been comfortable enough leaving his ears and tail visible. He works as a lumberjack. One time Pixl introduced him to Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song and it quickly became his favourite thing. He spends most of his free time volunteering at the local theatre because Ren is absolutely a theatre kid and nobody can convince me otherwise. Gets possessed every now and then. Lives in Jungle Wood flats.

Scar

Works as a landscape developer. Gets possessed absurdly easily, though not quite as frequently as Cub. Has a magical method of communication with him. Technically co-owns ConCorp, but isn’t as involved. His cat, Jellie, is very obviously an eldritch abomination in feline form and he is comedically unaware of this. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats with Grian, Iskall, Mumbo, Stress, and Ren.

Skizz

Is the ghost haunting Team ZIT’s office. He was murdered by someone he’d thought was a friend who was trying to use his place to hide from the cops, and he’s stuck around, haunting the building. His unfinished business is to make sure nobody else uses the building for anyone shady, but the ghost rumours tended to chase most people off. Eventually he gets used to having Team ZIT around, and when Tango admits he doesn’t really have anywhere to go one day, Skizz eventually makes the decision to finally unlock the still-furnished upper floor for him. He’s bound to the building, but Impulse learns that carrying Skizz’s old vest with them allows him to leave. After that, Skizz sometimes accompanies them on missions and occasionally just hanging out. He’s usually more helpful than the Beetlejhost is.

Stress

Is a witch. Stress lives in Jungle Wood Flats and works as a doctor who specializes in supernaturally caused injuries- Team ZIT are some of her best customers. She also sells magic potions of various kinds, and has a side gig as a florist. She’s 90% of the Jungle inhabitants’ impulse control. Also has cryokinesis.

Tango

The Team ZIT member with a car. He gets possessed with frankly ridiculous frequency, but claims not to believe in ghosts for a long time (and keeps up the bit for even longer). Has developed various signals to indicate when he’s being possessed again. The strongest one, a rather nasty demon Cleo and the Beetlejhost had to team up on, left him with his glowing red eyes. He didn’t really have anywhere to go before Impulse bought the office, and tended to sleep on the couch or in his car until Skizz decided to let him into the upper floor, where he now lives alongside Zedaph and Impulse.

TFC

A now-retired ghostbuster, TFC calls in Team ZIT one night when he finds himself in over his head against a ghost with a grudge. He winds up becoming a bit of a mentor figure to the trio, usually coaching them over the phone if they’re not sure how to deal with one of the stranger spirits. Lost his leg years ago in a fight with a poltergeist that could have gone better, and now has a robotic prosthetic made by Doc.

Wels

While Team ZIT was out investigating some rumour or another in the woods, they came across a large stone box. Following video game logic, I guess, they then decided opening this large stone box sounded like a fun idea. Well, Tango and Zedaph did. Impulse was a bit more hesitant. The box actually held a medieval knight who’d been put in an enchanted sleep for centuries by his demonic doppelgänger, and was very much not prepared for modern life. Team ZIT took him to Xisuma, who happened to live closest, and Wels is currently helping out on the farm and trying to adjust to life in the 21st century. He can understand and speak modern English just fine because magic. Volunteers at the local theatre quite a lot.

Hels

Is Wels’ doppelgänger. Technically a minor demon. Won a fight with Wels and sealed him away for centuries as a result. A recurring problem. His real motivation is that he really desperately doesn’t want to go back to Hell, but he’s too proud to admit it. Lives in the woods with EX, who’s basically his only friend, though the weirdo with the brown cardigan keeps pestering him about his backstory and feelings for some reason. Has minor pyrokinesis.

XB

Like Biffa, XB is also a ghost from the future, though it seems to be a different timeline than Biffa’s. His unfinished business is preventing the apocalypse, but he has no idea how to do that, no idea if he’s in the right timeline, and is pretty sure he’s gone back a lot farther than he probably should’ve. Also, there’s the whole paradox issue, where if he prevents the apocalypse he never has a reason to go back and prevent the apocalypse, so he doesn’t prevent the apocalypse, so he has to go back and- he tries not to think about it too much. He mostly just hangs out in an abandoned house on the edge of town and vibes.

Xisuma

Is a beekeeper. Nobody’s ever seen his face; when he’s not in his beekeeping outfit, he’s either wearing a helmet, or (more recently) an extremely lifelike and detailed animal mask (is it a mask?). Actually a shapeshifting alien, he crashed down to Earth after a scuffle with his evil clone and was stranded because Earth doesn’t have the right tools or resources to repair a spaceship. These days he’s actually found he’s happier tending to his bees, selling honey, and helping his friends out, and probably wouldn’t leave Earth even if he could. It’s a simpler life, but a pleasant one. He bonds with Biffa over a shared love of tea and being stranded in a technologically inferior world and finding a home.

Evil Xisuma

Is Xisuma’s clone. Feels that if everyone’s going to call him ‘Evil’ he may as well own it. Shot his original’s spaceship down in a scuffle but wound up being brought down with him. Currently hides in the woods. Generally more of a minor nuisance than an actual danger. Used to spend his free time bothering X but has gotten put off by Wels, who has a problem when it comes to evil clones. His friends consist of Hels, who is a terrible role model, and Zedaph, who’s trying to help him work through his problems behind everyone’s backs. Can summon lightning because he deserves it.

Zedaph

Is the reason Team ZIT is ghostbusting in the first place. He’s a sheep shearer by trade, but that’s a fairly seasonal thing and ghostbusting is more fun anyway. Has somehow never been possessed, and claims it’s because he’s always standing next to Tango. He makes sure the other two gets enough sleep Because we all know they can’t be trusted to do it. Probably has some sort of really bizarre and situational magical powers he is thoroughly unaware of. Qualified to be a licensed therapist. Made friends with Evil X at one point, somehow.

Zloy

Like Cleo, he’s a ghost possessing a corpse. Unlike Cleo, there’s a good chance it’s not his corpse. Eh, it’s not like anyone else was using it. Runs a blog with Pixl, because why not. Was already a zombie when he met Pixl, who was still alive at the time. His body is a bit more decayed than Cleo’s, but it’s fine. His goggles are enchanted with the same preservation spell; it’s not really ever explained where he got them from. Has no regard for privacy but is fortunately unable to turn invisible or phase through walls due to inhabiting a physical body. Both can theoretically physically fight ghosts and has enough time to physically fight ghosts, meaning he would be a valuable ally if he could be bothered. Lives in a graveyard. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Cleo, in which he puts jabs at her on the blog. Once spent a week as a (very sarcastic) floating potato.

Hermiton

Is the name of the place they all live in/near. Located in an ambiguous location in an ambiguous country, Hermiton is technically large enough to be considered a city but has Town VibesTM. Supernatural going-ons are a fairly normal part of life, and a good number of inhabitants aren’t humans. Despite this, the wider world seems mostly ignorant of the existence of ghosts, magic, etc. I’m not too sure about geography, but it’s surrounded by forest in most directions and in a warm enough climate to not have snow in the winter (so Python doesn’t, you know, freeze to death). Most people don’t tend to bat an eyelid at strange-looking people walking down the street or serving them at the store; they’re used to it by now. There are several theories as to why Hermiton specifically has so much going on when it comes to the supernatural- ley lines, secretly the resting place of some long-forgotten god, et cetera- but it’s actually more of a case of ‘people who have supernatural traits hear rumours of a place where a lot of people have supernatural traits and go there in search of answers/a place to belong’. This doesn’t exactly explain where all the ghosts came from, but hey. Nothing’s perfect.