#or was I just supposed to find out from a random Tumblr post about people knowing the cut characters??

[shadowfoxsilver]

Some quick tips to spotting accounts that are pretending to be a Palestinian needing mutual aid. Please keep in mind that not all of them are scam accounts, and that some may legitimate blogs who just aren’t too knowledgeable on how tumblr works. This guide is based around what I go by when checking certain blogs and usually it’s a quick giveaway the blog is a scam.

Please read this post too from my other blog before you tell people don’t donate to gfms:

1. You was sent the ask as someone who regularly shares Palestine related content such as regular news updates of posts by other Palestinians who are regularly giving updates. You may also get these asks from sharing a popular post that is from the Palestine tag. If you post often about Palestine, you will always start getting these asks. These askers don’t care if you state don’t send the asks. They will anyway. Unfortunately minors also get sent asks.

2. The ask has odd formatting such as having odd quotation marks in it or unusual formatting that may indicate it’s been edited and copied from somewhere else. Often the ask is the same thing as the post itself minus a link to a donation site. These asks rarely change so searching it should pull up if it’s been sent to other bloggers and sometimes the asks are edited only to add new phrases to them in time.

3. The account is almost always a few days old or a week old or long depending on how often they have sent asks. Usually some may even be an hour old and reusing a familiar pfp/ask.

4. The blog has a few Palestine related posts or posts from random tags reblogged to pad out length and then no more. They will have no original posts besides the pinned post while occasionally answering asks that they may have received but otherwise nothing else and no further updates given either.

5. They may have a Linktree link that is called “GoFundMe” as if indicating they have a GoFundMe there. However, they don’t. When clicked on, the Linktree actually goes to a PayPal account whose name may not even match the one their supposed name is. They’ll say it’s a friend, but it’s just the same person not someone else. You’ll see this same name across multiple accounts after a while usually giving away it’s not legitimate even under a different theme.

6. The text used by the blogs are often real stories stolen from legitimate fundraisers and searching parts of it in your preferred search engine should pull up the sources. These sources make no mention of a tumblr account either or don’t have the PayPal account associated with them in the info. Scammers often impersonate a real person in need and will ignore you if you show them the source they copied from.

7. Legitimate Palestinians often link to their own GoFundMe posts that their friends have set up or post links to other social platforms they are found on. They will regularly post updates when possible, post sources to support them when necessary, and also generally have some method of verifying their legitimacy. They may often share links to support others as well or give links to charities that have been shown as reliable. They will have more original posts than just a single pinned one and regularly speak to other tumblr accounts beyond just an ask. Please don’t bother them with asks about possible scam accounts. There are many guides out there that can do that for you if you search. You may find verified fundraisers too.

8. Scammers don’t know anything about Palestine and will often have trouble once you ask them anything beyond the mutual aid post. They don’t know the languages decently and you can tell it pretty easily if you’re one who uses it regularly. Whatever the scammers use is often just copied off the site they got the post from. Sometimes the text is just reused from past scams such as asking for insulin that doesn’t last long.

9. These scammers can and will use names stolen off real Palestinians to look more legitimate and trustworthy. They change names constantly once one of their PayPal accounts is shut down.

10. If you do see a GoFundMe link on a blog, don’t immediately assume it’s a scam just because it’s a relatively new account. Check the post notes to see if anyone’s verified the account yet or wait a bit as it takes time. You likely can search around to see if anyone’s posted anything where the blog has been vetted by others. You may also see if the GoFundMe is referred to on other socials or on lists that compile verified and vetted fundraisers.

Please don’t let these scams deter you from sending support where it needs to go. Even if you can’t donate personally, there are other ways to help. If you are sending money, please make sure that it’s going to where it’s needed and the place it’s sent has been verified accordingly. If you find a blog is a scammer, and have been able to prove it, please make sure to alert anyone sharing the post and report the account.

[bamsara]

Why did you start writing? From what I can tell you put a lot of passion into the works you make, where did it all start for the lovely stories you make now?

Wayyyy earlier when I was 9-10ish, and even at that age I was writing a lot, with just pencil and notebook paper. I know I have written earlier than that, but I have no evidence of it.

I filled up an entire 3inch binder with an entirely hand written story about a girl who lives who her grandma and has a dog named Trout, almost dies in tornado at school and finds out the tornado as a sentient being that was trying to kill her because she has some connection to a random dude that can control the weather, and a elegant queen lady who controls ice that basically adopts her and turns her into a scout to find other people who have elemental powers. She doesn't have any herself, but for some reason she can tell who does, and then can steal it. I still have that binder in my closet. Would not recommend reading it though lmao

I started publishing my writing online, fanfiction specifically, when I was 11ish and totally not supposed to be online yet. My first fanfic I wrote and published was for Soul Eater, and that account and those stories are still up to this day. (cringe warning for the exact kind of thing you would expect an 10-11 year old to write) I actually had two fanfic.net accounts, this one where I wrote L4D stuff too.

I switched from fanfic.net to Wattpad after I got into FNAF and wrote a bunch of Fnaf stuff from an AU I had in 2015, and that AU is what led me to making a tumblr account that year, mainly to post my art for my stories. (I had always been drawing, too, but I didn't start posting that until wattpad)

And then I switched to AO3 around 2018 and my stories have been there since. I have, quite literally, been writing for nearly 15 years, with pretty much all of my work well-documented online since I started.

I hate my older works from when I was a teen/kid, and even work from just a few years back, and even removed them at some point, but decided to keep them up for archival purposes. Especially since you can kinda see how my writing style has changed, my standards in writing like the wordcount going from 80k at 11yrs old to 200k something for my long fics, my viewpoints and beliefs, etc etc. I am also very...picky about the stories I read, so if I cannot find what I want, I will make it myself.

Writing is absolutely the best and most practiced coping mechanism I've had since forever. I will write even if I do not have any readers. I still write things that I do not post online, so overtime what was something I deeply enjoyed as a hobby and an outlet to process difficult and low parts of my life becoming something enjoyable to other people is kind of wild to me, still.

And I'll continue to do it even if one day this account explodes or something. When I said 'Writing and creating art is the only thing keeping me sane' I was not trying to be quirky /lighthearted. I'll dedicate entire days to writing chapters in a row.

But yeah I've been writing for a long while, I'm glad you guys really like it! Look at my cats

[hms-no-fun]

you were on cohost? i guess too late now, how was it for you?

cohost had its fair share of problems and i could often find the community there a bit too tumblr-core fingerwaggy if you know what i mean. but the site's dead now so it's kind of a moot point. what i find myself reflecting on most these days are the positives.

first, no numbers. i think their no numbers policy was probably a bit over-aggressive, but it quelled some of the rat race popularity contest aspect of social media that often makes it so tedious. i liked their tag tracking system, their robust content warning options, and the absence of infinite scroll. what i miss most about cohost is that their text editor supported CSS, which led to people programming elaborate text effects and puzzles and games in-site that harkened back to the days of flash animations. there was something in this combination of elements that drew out a rebellious creativity in users.

cohost came at a time when social media was across the board feeling terrible (and it's only gotten worse hahaha), particularly as someone who makes shit that relies on you clicking links that take you away from the website or app. algorithms hate this and punish it. users also just seem kind of lazy and disinterested in using the internet so much as letting the internet happen to them passively. but when a post of mine went viral on cohost, people engaged with it. it wasn't just likes and shares, it was comments and additions. it felt like a place that (at its best) encouraged actual conversation and the development of new ideas among like-minded peers. when my posts did well and i included a donation link, people gave me money. it felt genuinely like a website that COULD support professional blog work in a way that was more customizable even than substack yet still RSS friendly, and the Following tab which let you easily see posts of specific users was a REVELATION, like a mini RSS reader within the website itself.

but the enterprise was unsustainable for various reasons (not all of them outside the dev crew's control) and the haters got what they wanted. now our big social media alternative is bluesky, a website that dares to ask the question "what if there was another twitter?" the answer is that it fucking sucks. i hate microblogs so much dude, why on EARTH are we still acting like these disambiguited 300-character-limit posts are the most preferable means of social communication online??? why would you set out to make a better twitter and then deliberately choose to replicate literally every aspect of the user experience that encouraged low-information high-drama conflict fabrication? WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A VERSION OF TWITTER WHERE YOU CAN EASILY LOOK UP THE ACCOUNT OF EVERYONE WHO HAS YOU BLOCKED AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FEATURE NOT A BUG???????? i just don't get it. i don't even get the optimism of the early adopters. i've seen people decry the post-election decay of the platform like "of course the cishets come in to ruin a community that was defined by trans & queer people" i'm sorry HELLO???????? from literally day zero bluesky was aiming to be a hands-off centrist IPO-friendly tech startup, there was never anything structurally embedded within the platform itself to keep this kind of decay from happening, you just happened to be on there when there were dramatically fewer users most of whom were curious tech enthusiasts. seriously, how have we not learned this lesson yet? you can't define a digital culture by the vibes of random user behavior! unless you have LAWS and GUIDELINES whereby you fucking BAN people for being shitheads, unless you enforce an actual code of conduct and punish bigoted speech and design a system that encourages constructive conversation, you are always always ALWAYS going to wind up at unhinged facebook boomer slop!

the death of cohost and the utterly predictable decay of bluesky are a big part of the reason why i've been posting so much more on tumblr. this is like the last bastion of anything even remotely resembling the old web, with its support of longposts and tagging and how easy it is to find random hobbyists doing cool shit you never knew existed before. like, yeah, you have to search that shit out and tailor your feed to not drive you crazy, but that's what i like about it!!! i am an adult with agency who understands that life is complicated and as such i expect to have to put some work into making my experience with a website positive! but in the hellworld of the iphone everything is walled garden apps for aggregating content where the content and its creators are structurally established as infinitely replaceable and uniquely worthless punching bags to be used and cast aside. everyone's given up on moderation and real jobs don't exist anymore especially if you happen to work in the "creative economy" IE are a writer or critic or artist or hobbyist of literally any kind. we've given up on expecting anything from the rich moneyboys who own and profit immensely off of the platforms whose value we literally create!!! especially now with the rise of "AI" grifters, whose work has ratcheted good old fashioned casual sexism and racism and homophobia up to levels not seen in such mainstream spaces since the early 2000s.

i like tumblr because i don't have to use a third party app to get & answer asks at length, and because it is a visual artist friendly platform where i won't be looked at funny for reblogging furry postmodernism or transgender homestuck OCs. it is a site that utterly lacks respectability and that's what makes it even remotely usuable. unfortunately it also sucks! partly it sucks because this place was ground zero for the rise of puritanical feminist-passing conservatism in leftist spaces, so it's like a hyperbolic time chamber for brain-melting life or death discourse about the most inconsequential bullshit you could ever imagine. but it also sucks because it's owned by a profit-motivated moneyboy who has consistently encouraged a culture of virulent transphobia and frequently bans trans women who call this out. so like, yeah, this place is cool compared to everywhere else, but it is exactly like everywhere else in that is also on a ticking clock to its own inevitable demise. the owners of this website will destroy everything that makes it interesting and will EAGERLY delete the nearly twenty years (!!!!!!) of posts it's accumulated the instant it will profit them to do so. this will be immensely unpopular and everyone will agree it's a tragedy and it won't matter. the culture and content of a social media platform is epiphenomenal to its rote economic valuation. i mean, obviously it isn't, zero of these massive tech companies would be what they are if so many people weren't so eager to give their time and labor away for free (and yes, writing a dumb dick joke on tumblr IS a form of labor in the same way that doing a captcha is labor, just because it's a miniscule contribution in an economy of scale doesn't mean you didn't contribute!), but once a tech company reaches a certain threshold its valuation ceases to be tethered to anything that actually exists in reality.

all of which is why i remember cohost with a heavy heart. yeah, it was imperfect. it was also independently owned, made with the explicit goal of creating a form of social media that actually tries not to give you a lifelong anxiety disorder so it can sell you homeopathic anti-anxiety sawdust suppositories. for the brief window of time when it was extant, i was genuinely hopeful for the future of being a creative on the internet. part of why i spend so much time on godfeels, a fucking homestuck fanfiction with no hope of turning a profit or establishing mainstream legitimacy, is that my readers actually ENGAGE with the material. what brought me back to using this website consistently was precisely the glut of godfeels-related questions i got, and the exciting conversations that resulted from my answers. meanwhile i put so many hours into my videos and even when they do well numerically, i barely see any actual engagement with the material. and that is a deliberate design choice on the part of youtube! that is the platform functioning as intended!! it sucks!!!

what the memory of cohost has instilled in me is a neverending distaste for the lazy unambitious also-rans that define the modern internet. i remember the possibility space of the early web and long for the expressiveness that even the most minor of utilities offered. we sacrificed that freedom for a convenience which was always the pretense for eventually charging us rent. i am thinking a lot these days about what a publicly funded government administrated social media utility would look like. what federal open source standards could look in an environment where the kinds of activities a digital ecosystem can encourage are strictly regulated against exploitation, bigotry, scams, and literal gambling. what if there was a unionized federal workforce devoted to the administration of internet moderation, which every website above a certain user threshold must legally take advantage of? i like to imagine a world where youtube isn't just nationalized but balkanized, where you have nested networks of youtubes administrated for different purposes by different agencies and organizations that operate on different paradigms of privacy and algorithmic interaction. imagine that your state, county, and/or city has its own branch of youtube meant to specifically highlight local work, while also remaining connected to a broader national network (oops i just reinvented federation lmao). imagine a world where server capacity is a publicly owned utility apportioned according to need and developed in collaboration with the communities of their construction rather than as a deliberate exploitation of them. our horizons for these kinds of things are just so, so small, our ability to imagine completely captured by capitalist realism, our willingness to demand services from our government simply obliterated by decades of cynical pro-austerity propaganda. i imagine proposing some of this stuff and people reacting like "well that's unrealistic" "that'll never happen" "they'd just use it for evil" and i am just SO! FUCKING! TIRED!!!!

like wow you're soooooo cool for being effectively two steps left of reagan, i bet you think prison abolition and free public housing are an impossible pipedream too huh? and exactly what has that attitude gotten you? what've you gained by being such a down to earth realist whose demands are limited by the scope of what seems immediately possible? has anything gotten better? have any of the things you thought were good stayed good? is your career more stable, your political position more safe, your desire to live and thrive greatly expanded? or do you spend every day in a cascading panopticon of stress and collapse, overwhelmed to the point of paralysis by the sheer magnitude of what it's cost us to abandon the future? you HAVE to dream. you HAVE to make unrealistic demands. the fucking conservatives have been making unrealistic demands forever and look, they're getting everything they want even though EVERYONE hates them for it! please i'm begging you to see and understand that what's feasible, what's reasonable, what's realistic, are literally irrelevant. these things only feel impossible because we choose to believe The Adults (and if you're younger than like 45, trust me, to the ruling class you are a child) whose bank accounts reflect just how profitable it is to convince us that they're impossible. all those billions of dollars these fuckers have didn't come from nowhere, it was stolen from all of us. there is no reason that money can't and shouldn't be seized and recirculated back into the economy, no reason it can't be used to fund a society that is actually social, where technological development is driven not by what's most likely to drive up profits next quarter but by what people need from technology in their daily lives.

uh so yeah basically that's my opinion of cohost lmao

[nyhti]

Batman Rogues Tumblr AU:

Jervis:

-Joined Tumblr in 2009, has had the same blog all this time -Has a big follower count, but most of those blogs have long since been abandoned -Is very active -No sideblogs, everything from kink to cute animal pics is on the same blog -Has witnessed or been involved in every single major event in this site's history -Attended Dashcon (he was the one who pissed in the ball pit) -Involved in some sort of petty drama on a daily basis -Has a 20km long post of just going back and fort arguing with some random user. This argument started in 2016 and neither remembers what it even was about. He gets worried if the other person hasn't responded in a while. -Gets at least 3 callout posts a week. Always makes sure to reblog them and adds an essay underneath defending himself no matter if the callout post was about liking the wrong pony in MLP or murdering someone in cold blood. -Kinnie drama the likes of which you've never seen before -And in general just discord you never thought anyone could ever come up with -At this point you wonder if he's even having fun on this site, but he just keeps on reblogging bunny pics like it's nothing -Has a Wacom drawing tablet

Jonathan:

-Joined in 2011 after Jervis introduced him to the site -Has some really tacky theme he hasn't changed since 2013 -About a couple hundred followers, but they are very devoted. Lots of mutuals -579257405547 blurry photos of Nightmare -Post fics and essays on various topics he's been thinking about lately -Of course reblogs every single spoopy art piece he finds -Definitely does fic request -The most fucked up smut you've ever read -Like smut you don't even know is smut, because it's just that confusing -Most of his post don't get past 50 notes, but he has made a couple of post, mainly of the: ”Here's how you write x, y and z...” and ”As a Professor of Psychology, I can tell you...” variety, that have about 10 000 notes -Has a chill time on Tumblr -Only uses Tumblr on desktop. Has never even seen the app. -Completely unironically reblogs every cool skeleton on a motorcycle pic

Joker:

-Joined in 2013 -The only reason he joined is because he once came across a horny drawing of Batman and searching for the artist led him to Tumblr. -Starts writing a post, gets distracted mid way though and starts doing something else. Comes back to Tumblr 3 hours later, notices he was making a post, doesn't even bother rereading it despite not remembering what it was about and just hits posts. His blog is full of completely incomprehensible post that just stop mid way through -Makes a couple post that get so popular they are still making rounds today. They will always have additions like: ”I still can't believe this post was made by the fucking Joker” and ”Joker had a Tumblr?!” -Forgot his password a month after joining and never visited the site again. Barely remembers he ever had an account -Those true crime people still harvest his 20-post-pathetic-excuse-for-a-blog-blog for content to this day all the while completely ignoring all the rogues with still active (and better) blogs. They are saying things like: ”Ooohhhh, it's like a deep dive into his twisted mind :00” and are always trying to find some hidden symbolism and meaning behind all his ”just farted so loud it scared the neighbor's cat” kinda posts.

Eddie:

-Joined in 2011 -759752974576 sideblogs, 55425720752174838+1 sockpuppet accounts -When he's really low he'll post a poll like: ”Be honest, am I cute? Yes/No” and then has his 55425720752174838+1 sockpuppet accounts hit ”Yes” and somehow ”No” still wins. He deletes the whole post. -Posts the most obvious ”and everybody clapped” Tumblr fake stories you've seen. When he gets called out, he pretends you were supposed to figure out they were fake -Has an awful time on Tumblr, but can't delete, because he's addicted to getting notes -Always falls for every one of those post where OP pretends to be stupid on purpose (i.e. smooth sharks, putting fingers in guns etc.) -Posts riddles everyday that even his biggest haters cannot help but try and solve -Sends himself hatemail so he can post the witty comeback he just came up with. Forgot to hit anon once and people just won't let it go

Hugo:

-Banned for posting cock :/

[mqrrstarr]

Modern AU Caracalla and Geta!

Brother Shenanigans! Part One

(Barnes and Noble, Target, Olive Garden)

Warnings: not edited properly uhh idk I don’t have siblings so idk if this is accurate 😞🙏

A/N: officially a tumblr writer I suppose, and it’ll just keep being gladiator for a while. anyways, I saw a post of a photo of Caracalla in a restaurant and I forgot what it said but it sparked an idea in me. (btw, go join the roman history/gladiator community!!) anyways this will be a series, and comment stores/locations you’d want me to write about!!

Summary: Caracalla and Geta go shopping together and stuff happens.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Caracalla always drags Geta out of the house, wanting to take his brother on random and spontaneous shopping trips.

Caracalla adores going to Barnes and Noble, spending time in both the history and fiction area. He’d spend time looking for interesting titles and skimming through pages of books, easily spending three hours on one. (Also occasionally going to the kids area, reliving his favorite childhood tales and keeping up with new children’s literature.)

Caracalla would also spend time in the cookbook area, as he yearns to learn how to cook. (Geta does all the cooking, and Caracalla can only make things like toast and simple breakfast. For the sake of Dondas of course.)

Geta in this situation would spend time at the Starbucks in B&N and would probably have a magazine. (Assuming they’re emperors/royalty, most likely a magazine of himself.) He’d get his usual drink, some sort of caffeine filled delicacy to keep his nerves alert.

Caracalla would get ready to leave and checkout and find Geta still drinking his fifth drink and tenth brownie. He’d get up and see Caracalla smiling and be content his brother was happy.

Soon after, in the car (chariot) Caracalla would read his books and Geta would drive to the next location. (they have money so they’re target people lmao)

Pulling up to the Target, I feel like Geta would be the one most interested here. He’d walk around with a cart, acting like he owns the place but truly just looking for clothes and home decor. He loves vases for flowers and for a historical vibe.

(Gotta keep the “palace” nice.)

Caracalla wouldn’t be far behind his brother though, and he’d be complaining to Geta saying something like;

“Getaaaa. Enough with the sweaters, you have enough at home. I’m boredddd. Ughhhhh. I forgot to feed Dondas I think. Anyways, Geta keep moving or I’m going to steal your video games.”

This motivates Geta (he’s a gamer most likely bc of Caracalla) and he keeps going. A long time later, they stop to eat dinner at Olive Garden.

(Italy reference help I’m so sorry if you’re Italian and this is offensive I love you all)

The brothers sit down to eat and take time to order food. When they receive their drinks, Geta with a soda and Caracalla with a semi alcoholic drink (erasing the pain) they order.

Geta gets pasta with shrimps with a Cesar salad on the side.

Caracalla orders some chicken parmesan, some spaghetti, a chili soup, with a tiramisu as desert.

They eat and go home to their lovely mansion, decorated with a pool in the back. Dondas runs to Caracalla and his books. While they hug, Geta brings in the sweater he bought and the five different vases he got too. They watch a movie on Netflix, one titled Pompeii.

(Actually a movie btw it’s okay)

The day’s action has exhausted Caracalla, and he falls asleep a few minutes in. Geta simply smiles and continues his work from the morning. This routine keeps them happy, and keeps them bonded. He’s happy to have someone to trust. He’s grateful he has a brother.

the end <33

[specialistpinky]

「 ✦ coke & rum ✦ 」

18+ ONLY MDNI

summary: how the fuck does a professional institution fuck up this bad?

wc: 4.5k

a/n: heya! this is my first time trying out tumblr to post my works (2014 is soooo back), so we're gonna see how this goes. enjoy~!

bust down middle pointer, i got it black (i'm a big fine ho!) walkin' through the club lookin like a snack (but you knew that though)

—GET IT SEXYY by SEXYY RED

why the hell do they make these damn dorms so confusing? i think, wandering down the hall and hauling my luggage while looking down at the map again, squinting to make sure i'm heading in the right direction.

i take in my surroundings. the walls are bland beige with lime-green accents. a few back-to-school event flyers hang on the walls. the carpet is one of those funky 80s arcade patterns that kids used to throw up all over. 

these are supposed to be the senior dorms? i thought they would’ve been a hell of a lot nicer.

after a bunch of twists and turns and endless numbers that weren't my room, i creep up to a door, gazing at the three numbers plated on the side: 824.

"finally! praise Jesus," i sigh, rejoicing for my long-awaited rest.

i fold the paper up and stuff it in my back pocket. i breathe in and out, remembering that i have a roommate again. yeah, it's cheaper to live with someone else, but my privacy is crucial to me, and i have a very low tolerance for other people's bad habits, so i would’ve preferred living by myself. out of my control now, though.

i can only hope my roommate is fairly decent this time. last year, i got a trust fund baby who liked blasting the same five fucking songs all day, passed out drunk in the bathroom, and piled up dishes in the sink.

i knock on the door hard, seeing if someone will open it. i have a key, but i don't feel like opening it. my federal-ass knocking will surely get my roomie's attention. plus, i'd rather meet them from a distance than walk inside and find something i don't wanna see.

the lock clicks as the doorknob turns, the door creaking open.

"Yuji, it’s seven in the morning. i already told you i'm not letting you borrow my car."

my eyes widen a little. in the doorway stands a tall, grown-ass man with dark shoulder-length hair wearing a faded Metallica shirt and plaid boxers. he's littered with tattoos from what i can see, some of the work peeking from under his half-clad thighs. he's rubbing his eye like a tired child woken up from nap time and keeping them closed, clearly not seeing that i'm not "Yuji."

i cross my arms and squint. "who’re you?" i question, harboring a little bit of hostility in my voice—for good reason, though. a random man just opened the door when i fully expected a woman.

the guy stops rubbing his eyes and blinks once, twice before eyeing me up and down with an equally confused look.

"you're not Yuji," he rasps, scratching his chin.

i jut my hip out, cocking my head to the side. "yeah, definitely not. you’re not Ashlee."

i pull out the dorm letter from my other pocket to check if i'm crazy, and yep, still says Ashlee’s my roommate.

"is Ashlee here?" i look back up at the man who's sporting a deadpan face. i try to peer inside the room, asking, "are you like, her boyfriend or somethin'? cuz we’re gonna have to talk about how often you’re allowed to stay here."

he tilts in the same direction i'm moving, blocking my view. i frown. his face stays blank. "there's no Ashlee here," he says.

i stay silent for a moment. then i huff out of my nose and smirk. "alright, funny guy, quit fuckin' around and bring out my roommate."

he blinks all frog-like, slow and unbothered, then screws his eyes shut before scratching his eyebrow. "i’m telling you there’s no Ashlee here. i live here. you might have the wrong room."

i'm tempted to roll my eyes at his backtalk and slightly condescending tone, but i'm attempting to be nicer these days, so i offer a tight-lipped smile.

i speak calmly, "this is room 824, right?"

i knew the answer; i just wanted to see how he would respond. he seems to think i'm some fucking bimbo with no thoughts to my dainty little head.

the man scratches his neck and nods. "yeah?" his statement comes out more like a question.

i nod once, the top of my lip curling. "right, that's what i thought. so, i'm telling you," i emphasize my words by pointing at myself and then at the mystery man who claims to live in my dorm, "this is where i was assigned as per the letter."

i wave the flimsy piece of paper in the air and hold it out to him. "you're more than welcome to take a read."

he snatches the letter from me, aggravating my soul further as he stands there in his indecency and indignation. he skims the paper, muttering to himself before looking back up at me, a befuddled, fatigued look adorning his features.

he cocks an eyebrow, handing the paper back to me. "you're a girl, though," he comments intelligently. 

i can't help it as the whites of my eyes probably make themselves known and my irises disappear before reappearing.

i purse my lips together and make them pop, bucking my eyes for a second in irritation. "no shit, Sherlock," i spit. i sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "how the fuck did i end up in a co-ed dorm?" i mumble under my breath, trying to compose myself before i break down in the middle of this hallway and alarm the whole floor.

i suck my teeth and hold out a loud groan, making my way inside. "ugh, this is so ridiculous," i grumble, completely ignoring the man in the doorway.

he barely moves out of the doorway, making space for me to enter, a clear look of disdain i hardly acknowledge and feel targeting my backside.

"make yourself at home," he mumbles sarcastically.

i strut through the small space, looking around and humming, "not too bad. at least you keep it tidy in here." i turn back to the man whom i have the unfortunate pleasure of rooming with. "let’s keep it that way."

he doesn't reply beyond that weird little blink again. yuck! it gives me major goosebumps.

i try to keep the faces to a minimum as i walk up to my room door, pulling out a key from my purse to unlock it.

i twist the key and—

clunk!

"huh?" 

that didn’t sound good.

i try again, jiggling the key around this time but still feeling resistance. i twist using both hands and all my might to unlock my room. i grunt, pushing and turning until my fingertips turn bright red, then stop, out of breath from my effort.

i pinch my eyebrows together, frustrated at this stupid fucking door barring me from my one safe haven for the next ten months.

"urgh! damn it," i groan. i cock my leg back to kick the door but halt right before my foot makes contact. i don't have on shoes; i probably shouldn’t do that.

i growl low in my throat, banging my fist on the door and attempting to open it several more times before giving up. i sulk into the kitchen and sit down at the table. my roommate—i still don't know his name—is sitting on the couch, glued to the television, occupying his mouth with what looks like a sucker. looks a little young to be a heavy smoker. must be quitting.

the longer i look at him, the more i have to admit how attractive he is—fine as hell, even. his piercing lavender eyes are hypnotic. all them tattoos give a nice edge, and his boxers hanging on his hips with the little v-line poking out caught my attention. he's got those pink, pouty lips people kill for. he looks pretty well-kempt: nice clear skin, thick healthy hair, and clean nails. not typical male behavior. shit, he might be gay, huh?

i smack myself, shaking my head at the thoughts. so what if he is gay? i think, not like i should get at him, anyway.

i'm so glad i have a single because if i had to share a room with him? i don't even wanna put that into the air, man.

a hand waves over my face, snapping me out of my horny thoughts. i jump back and find my roommate standing before me with that confused, droopy look. i furrow my eyebrows and bark out a "what?"

he does that stupid bimbo blink again, then he smirks at me and says, "you were just standing there. figured you needed help."

jesus, we haven’t even made it 24 hours and he already knows how to push buttons i didn’t even know existed. 

and this is who i have to room with for the next nine months. awesome. just. awesome

"thought you would’ve scurried to your room by now,” he husks, his eyelids low and a smirk on his face.

i flip my hair out of my face. “can’t get in.”

“can't get into your room, huh?” he leans down to look me square in the face, swirling around the stick in his mouth. “that’s a shame. explains why you were struggling with the door."

so, he knew i was struggling and did nothing to help or ask me if i’m okay? what a fucking chump.

i scoff and roll my eyes so hard i feel them sticking to the back of my skull. i swear, if i roll them one more time, i'mma be stuck looking like the Exorcist.

i mutter a "whatever," spinning on my heel to grab my suitcases from outside.

when i open the front door, i notice that my stuff isn't there anymore. i peek from behind the door, looking in both directions of the hallway to see if anyone grabbed them by accident. or on purpose—you never know.

after a few seconds, i groan and shut the door, irritated that my stuff disappeared.

"yo, emo boy, you seen my stuff sitting in the hall...way?" i ask, my words trailing off as i turn around to see the man pointing behind me. i follow his direction, finding my luggage in the living room's corner.

i eye my housemate with crossed arms. "oh," i say simply.

the man mimics me while leaning back against the nearest wall with his foot kicked up. "you left them out there, and i figured you forgot, so i brought them in for you."

well, isn't that so sweet and thoughtful of him? golly, it makes it so much better than his attitude has the charm of a rock taped to a stick.

i nod once. "thank you," i say.

"you're welcome."

my gaze starts to wander again, trailing from his exposed collarbone to his flexed arms. i can make out some of his tattoos: a few birds scattered across his throat, a purple flower right below his Adam's apple, and a couple of names etched on his forearms.

he clears his throat with an amused expression. wow, i didn't think he made any other faces besides drowsy and nonchalant.

he cocks his head to the side. "see something you like, princess?"

oh, he wanna be bold. okay, i see what's going on.

i squint at him challengingly as i round the table, slowly making my way over to him and smiling at him with hooded eyes. "don't flatter yourself, boo. just wondering if you steal from Salvation Army or if you genuinely dress like that. plus, i tend to like my men a little..." i poke him in the middle of his chest, “meatier.” he follows my finger before looking back at me with a raised brow.

"anyways," i say, drawing out the word and backing away. "since you're in a helpful mood, could you grab Millie and roll her to my room?" i bat my eyelashes to add extra flare to my request. no one can resist it.

he keeps that same tired, disinterested look on his face, his hypnotic lavender irises raking up and down my body. he snorts with a smirk and walks past me, lightly shoulder-checking me and beelining for the couch.

fuck, that didn't work on him?!

i fix my face, clearing my throat as i walk to the fridge and duck down, finding a Coke way in the back of the top shelf. "jackpot," i whisper, swiping it and popping the tab open, gulping down half the drink in a few seconds. i let out a small burp before pushing out a louder one.

the man looks back at me and cringes, his nose scrunching up in disgust but not saying anything.

i meet his gaze, shrugging with no remorse. it's natural, so why not let loose? i take another sip and ask again, "so, can you get Millie for me, please?"

he blinks and turns back to the TV, his hands behind his head. "who the hell is Millie?" he rasps.

i groan, "ugh, Millie! my Millie!"

he turns back around and furrows an eyebrow. "again, who is Millie? is she a dog or something?"

i point to my luggage in the corner. "Millie's the cute sparkly rouge suitcase with the gold handle."

he looks at my hand directed at my luggage and then back at me, bewildered. "Millie's a suitcase." his words come out like a statement rather than a question.

i raise an eyebrow and roll my neck. "uh, duh. you got a hearing problem?"

"you named your suitcase?" he chuckles wryly.

i furrow my eyebrows. "well, obviously me. i name all my precious things."

he laughs harder. "who names their suitcase? that's so lame."

"you listen to Metallica, so," i mutter, taking a sip of my drink.

"what?" 

i shake my head. "nothing," i say, glancing to the side.

"right. you know, you have a bratty attitude," he comments. "it's incredible you haven’t managed to piss someone off enough to get kicked out."

i hide my grin behind the soda can and reply coyly, "who says i haven't already done that?"

"can't imagine how that happened," he huffs. he waves a hand and turns back to the TV. "anyhow, get your own suitcase."

i whimper dramatically, "but i've been packing, moving, and traveling since Monday, and i've been so tired lately, and my body is in total pain from all of it, so i don't think i'll be able to carry all of those heavy bags by my lonesome, and—”

"all right, okay, please just stop! i’ll do it," he relents, shaking his head and grumbling as he walks over to my stuff. he grabs Millie's handle, scoffing, "can't believe i'm doing this."

he pulls Millie; she doesn't budge. he turns around and stares at my bag confused. he pulls again, hardly moving her. he instead uses both hands, tugging backward until Millie squeaks and starts scraping her rusty wheels across the carpet.

"jesus, woman, what do you have in here—rocks?" he grunts.

i grin, leaning against the counter as his biceps flex with each pull. his neck veins and arm veins bulge against his pale skin, decorating his muscles nicely. that little frustrated look on his face amuses me, too. nothing like seeing a man struggle at the behest of a woman.

woah, Freudian slip much?

"need help over there?" i ask coyly.

he shakes his head, readjusting his grip and stabilizing his body before pulling Millie in one last swift motion, clobbering his foot with one of her wheels in the process. he stumbles back and hits the wall, cursing, "fucking shit!” he crouches down to soothe his injury.

i let out a hard "HA!" before covering it up with a cough. i keep drinking to keep from laughing again. he hears me (not a shocker), so i'm met with a nasty glare, which makes me snort and nearly spit out my soda. I don’t blame him for that. i would do the same if i were made to do someone else's mundane bidding and they started laughing at me after i hurt myself. unfortunately for him—and fortunately for me—i'm not in that situation.

i notice the red mark appearing on the hilt of his foot from the kitchen. i coo mockingly, "oh no! poor baby. need me to kiss your boo-boo?"

he looks at me with another grimace, baring his teeth. i stick my tongue out playfully. i watch him wobble as he stands back up, grunting with each limp he takes to his room and saying under his breath "brat" before slamming the door behind him.

i can't help but smirk again. i was going to ask him to take Bobbi and Brownie with him for me, but he's injured now—wouldn't want him to somehow die on me and i be held liable for his early demise.

i continue sipping on my soda as i pull my phone out of my purse and call up my homegirl. 

she picks up after the second ring. "hey, bitch!"

"hey, babe. where you at?"

"i'm at home. why, what's up?"

i cross my legs and lean back in my chair. "girl! i'm so fucking exhausted, but i need to go shopping for my room. you got time today?"

"girl, i don’t know. i'm supposed to be going to brunch soon."

i suck my teeth. "boo, you whore. and to think i was gonna treat you to barbecue. oh well, i'll call someone else."

"wait, wait, wait! lemme see what Nana says."

i hear some rustling and hushed voices in the background. i shouldn't be surprised she was laid up in the bed with her man and didn't tell me, knowing how shameless that girl is.

i don't comment and patiently wait for her reply.

"okay, he's gonna push brunch to dinner. you lucky as fuck my man's chill like that cuz we had reservations."

"damn, my bad. should've told me. now i feel like i'm disturbing y'all."

she sighs, "it's fine. plus, i haven't seen you in like, three months. i miss my boo!"

"i missed you, too, boo. but, bitch, lemme tell you!" i rub my forehead and whine, "these muthafuckas got me all the way fucked up cuz why the fuck did they give the wrong roommate?"

"girl, how the fuck do they give you the wrong roommate?"

"man, i have no idea, but i guess it could be worse."

"who is it? it ain't that rich bitch from last year, is it? cuz i'll beat that ho ass again just cuz i can."

i chuckle at her quick resort to violence. "nah, it ain't her," i say. "i heard she transferred to some private school overseas, so i'on know why she'd come back to this ghetto ass school."

"she betta not. anyways, who you rooming with?"

i mentally prepare myself as i say, "chile, why i get a man–?"

before i can even finish, i hear a shrill scream from the other side. i pull the phone back, looking at it like it offended me. i mean, my ears are offended with allat fucking screaming she doing early in the morning. her neighbors must think she get stabbed every time she and her man hunch (which i have the displeasure of knowing they have sex every day, so i can only imagine).

"BITCH, THEY PUT YOU WITH A MAN? bitch, oh my god, you so fuckin' lucky! that was my number-one fantasy for years! is he hot??"

i chuckle, peering around the room to see if he was around. i cover my mouth and whisper into the receiver, "girl, the man is fine as all hell."

"and you ain't tell me?! what he look like?"

"bitch, i just found out like 30 minutes ago i had a male roommate. he a emo boy, first of all."

"oh, okay, okay, we love a good emo boy. i heard they got big dicks, too!"

"girl, shut up ‘fore you get in trouble with Nanami! anyways, he hella tall and he buff, but he ain't buff buff. to be honest, he look kinda sickly and malnourished. makes me wonder what he be eating for him to look like that."

another loud but less deafening squeal assaults my eardrum. "sounds like he need to be fed, then!" 

i can hear her eyebrows wiggling through the phone. she continues, "ooo, bitch, i need to come over and see what he look like right NEOW. cuz if you don't fuck him, i will!"

i belly-laugh, knocking my head back. "bruh, he ain't even my type for real," i quip. "also, don't you got a whole ass boyfriend?" i giggle through my words.

"aye, as i always say: don't let your current boyfriend—"

"stop you from finding your future husband. yeah, yeah, i know how that goes," i finish for her, chewing on my bottom lip. "i mean, you still shouldn't do it for your sake."

"i know, i know, i'm just playin'! plus, my Kento treats me so well. he’s practically my husband at this point. i can't let him go. neva eva!"

i know she will never let that man go. the way he dotes on her hand and foot with no hesitation makes my heart swell and my stomach sick at the same time. seeing them together restores my faith in humanity bit by bit, and i can only wish for something like that to come my way.

i look at myself in the mirror across from me, noticing my lip makeup fading and my hair losing its shape.

i stand up, going over to my other luggage and rummaging through them to find my makeup bag, finding my gloss and lip liner pencil. i get up to fix myself up in the hallway mirror and reapply my lipgloss while i talk. "you betta not. cuz if you do, imma beat that ass and take him for myself."

"oooh, i'm so scared. Nanamin, baby, save me! bestie said she's gonna hurt me and steal you away from me."

i hear her pouting through the phone and Kento murmuring in the background. i press the phone between my ear and my shoulder as i rake my fingers through my hair.

"girl, bye. you're such a drama queen. also, hey, Kento."

i hear a deep but small "hello" back. there’s more shuffling and whispering before my friend comes back on the phone.

"bitch, you're crowned royalty for drama. pot calling the kettle black as hell."

"sure, whatever you say. also imma need you to pick me cuz i don't got a car right now."

"what? the hell happened to your car?"

i suck my teeth. "girl, 'member how i told you my sister crashed her bucket drunk driving a couple weeks ago? my mom was all like, 'she needs a car until we can get her a new one, so we need to keep yours at home.' like dude, it's MY car! how you just gon' take my car that i bought with my own money? shit is wicked."

"damn, bitch, for real? a'ight, i'll come get you in twenty minutes because you know i love me a good spree."

i smile. "cool, cuz i need to figure out how i'mma get into my room before i go to sleep tonight."

"how you locked out the room already? you just got there."

i sigh, "bitch, i'on know. these people get on my fuckin' nerves."

"we'll lockpick it when i get there. see you then! kisses. muah!"

"bye, love you. mwah!" i send a kiss through the phone before hanging up.

i rake my hands through my hair, fluffing it poofier before giving myself a toothy grin and blowing a kiss in the mirror.

i hear a low wolf whistle. "wow, bratty and conceited? a double trouble princess."

i whip my head around to see emo boy leaning against the wall, now wearing loose gray sweatpants and a Cocteau Twins muscle tee with his hair in two spiky space buns. shit, i might've been lying when i joked about him not being my type. he need to stop dressing like that before i throw him on a street corner and make some money off him.

i throw him a tight-lipped smile and go back to messing with my hair in the mirror. "bratty? always. conceited? not over here, honey. just a hottie with high self-esteem."

"is that right?" he husks. i hear him moving but pay him no mind as i straighten my skirt. i turn around, looking at the back of it. i smile, seeing my ass poking out from underneath the skimpy garment.

i gaze at myself for a little longer, my eyes traveling up my body before they land on emo boy standing right behind me. i flinch a little, turning my head to face him.

his tired eyes flash an emotion i can't discern. for a moment, it looked like lust.

i take a deep breath. i cock an eyebrow and ask, "can i help you?"

he stays quiet, looking down at me with that creepy lopsided smile. he eyes me up and down before stepping away, beelining for the couch and plopping down, kicking his socked feet up on the coffee table. he flicks through television channels as he says, "that outfit suits you."

the fuck is that supposed to mean?

i let out a short laugh, pulling my shirt down before turning to my housemate. "them eye-bags suit you, too, emo boy."

that man need to find him some business 'fore i find some for him. shit, he can find some business himself between these muthafuckin' chocolate thighs.

ugh, i should stop thinkin' like that about my housemate. i would rather not get caught up in another situationship or get involved with someone from this school ever again, even if it runs an exhilarating chill down my spine to imagine how big it is .

picking up my phone from the counter, i text my friend.

yo, eta?

bout 10 minutes ;)))

i sigh, going back to the kitchen table and sitting my chin in my palm. i'm still annoyed at the fact that my door is jammed. if she can't get into the room, i'm gonna have to call maintenance, which definitely puts a dent in my plans to sleep tomorrow morning.

that doesn't stop me from mentally planning my decorations. i imagine where i want my posters arranged. i have a few Britney Spears and Tyra Banks posters stowed away in my suitcases, and the canopy i bought back home should be coming in the mail soon. then, after my target trip, my room should be a girl's paradise times 100.

optimizing is key while i'm here. i should probably get a set of speakers and some lights, too. maybe a bean bag if there's space.

so many ideas, so little time and money.

knock, knock, knock!

i perk up, clapping my hands and bouncing a little in my seat. "yay, my bestie is here! eek!" i squeal. i stand up to greet her at the door only to find my housemate already opening the door. he barely cracks it open and he's blocking the way, so i can't see who's on the other side. eventually, my housemate moves to the side, letting the other person walk in. i look to who it is. my eyes widen and my jaw drops as i watch them walk in. before i can even control it, i find myself whispering in shock.

"Itadori?"

next episode

[dtmsrpfcringe]

We don't hate women. We hate women who are abusive towards their partners.

Michael and David both deserve better and just because you want to buy into what PR and social media tells you, you don't have to attack other people for being upset over actors they care about possibly not being happy.

David wouldn't leave Georgia, they are married and have children, so he feels responsible. He always puts other people before himself. And Anna played it well with the babies, as harsh as it sounds. Michael would feel terrible leaving the girls. People staying in relationships doesn't prove you right, sadly. It's no sign of anything other than commitment and commitment doesn't always come from a place of love.

By saying that Michael and David shippers want to see them unhappy in their relationship, you show that you're missing the point. The whole point of shipping them is wanting them to be happy. You just want to be hateful towards people who don't suppprt your narrative, it seems.

GOD I WISH TUMBLR WOULD LET ME ADD TEXTS BEFORE ASKS SO I COULD SAY “Warning: you’re about to hear one of the most moronic takes I have ever heard” *insert gif of amanojaku from ghost stories here* okay let’s…we have to break this down it’s too much for me to just laugh at and go “wow this is dumb as hell”

“We don’t hate women, we just make up stuff so we can justify hating them”- you. where’s…where’s any shred of proof that either women are even a little bit abusive? I mean don’t you think we would have seen some of that by now? And no, enty lawyer doesn’t count as proof and neither does random screenshots of a bit of text with zero context. Also neither do jokes online with your partner when they’re okay with it (and make the same jokes quite literally all the time) and nobody sees a problem with it except the people that conveniently hate these women.

2. “Michael and David both deserve better” yes I’m sure the rich white middle aged men who are two of the most popular actors in their countries who have girlfriends/wives and kids who love and adore them are surely hurting because some weirdo on tumblr says it.

3. Hate to tell you this but married people with children divorce all the time. It’s not like if they divorce he is going to suddenly vanish in a puff of smoke babe.

4. Even if that’s true, your theory of him only staying out of responsibility is bullshit. Someone who stays for the kids isn’t going to dip their wife into a kiss on the red carpet and look at her like a hozier song sounds. If there’s any event or interview where he can find a way to praise Georgia, he does it. He always talks about her. After events they’ve been seen kissing deeply and walking arm in arm honeymoon style.

5. as for Anna and Michael, (David and Georgia too but they seem more open to pda) they don’t owe you pda. Michael has been more than adamant about defending his girlfriend on twitter and good for him about it.

6. if you guys were genuinely concerned with Michael and David’s impending relationship crashes, why is it always tied to their love for one another? The only people who see This rampant “abuse and unhappiness” is this group of people who believe David and Michael are actually in love and want to elope together. Nobody else. Not even other Sheenant shippers. You guys literally just hate them, I mean Invisibleicewands has been talking shit on Anna since she posted her first photo with Michael back in 2019 and hasn’t stopped.

7. “And Anna played it well with the babies, as harsh as it sounds.” seriously what the absolute crap is this supposed to mean my dude? I’ve gotta be honest….you know how smex works right? Michael could absolutely choose to use protection!!! Why is it on her? Not on him. He’s had kids before I think he knows that a stork doesn’t bring the baby. Holy hell you people make my eyes hurt

8. (finally) funny you should bring up narratives, you know considering you’re part of the group that thinks any affection towards anybody else that isn’t them is PR (thinking of the Joseph Fiennes hug fiasco) that lied about Georgia and Anna being abusive, that has tried time and time again and moved the goalpost, that fabricates evidence and tries to send death threats to people who speak out, and then lie about it, that your group is the one who can’t handle women working together and have to call everything PR. The same group that ignores the fact that Anna and Georgia are friends, to talk grave shit on them. Newsflash sweetheart, we aren’t the ones pushing the narrative here. You only want to see David and Michael happy as long as it aligns with your delusion. Have the day you deserve.

anyways, I think this is going to be my pinned post. Mostly because I want this to be embarrassing if you ever try to come back here and lie on Betty whites internet again, but also because I think this addresses so many tin hat talking points at once. Just because we love aziraphale and crowley doesn't mean we get the right to insert ourselves into their personal lives, you wouldn't want someone else praying for your relationship to fail.

[sentient-stove]

Curious about what exactly Tim Drake contributed to dick Graysons Robin (was Robin for 50+ years) or Jason’s Robin (barely had time to be fully fleshed out) or Damian’s Robin (literally nothing like him or any Robin before him)? I guess I can see the influence on Steph Robin since she only became Robin as a direct result of Tims actions. Also just cause Tim is bisexual doesn’t mean people can’t rightfully criticise him (especially in the part of fandom that is full with queer people so calling them homophobic for hating on Tim is. Very fucking silly) or hate on him (I am literally bisexual myself) so idk what point you’re trying to make here but it’s a laughable one at best tbh😭 “stole from Tim Drake” yeah the same Tim Drake who based his Robin identity on. You fucking know. The original Robin dick Grayson and his successor Jason Todd? Without Dick there would be no Robin at all so saying that Tim Drake made it possible for other versions of robins to exist is very delusional. Just cause they gave Dick a bo staff and pants in the young justice animated series? Wow, is that everything that’s special about Tim? A bo staff? Also fyi Tim was not the first Robin to incorporate pants into his superhero identity. Precrisis Jason before he was officially passed the Robin mantle from dick had a suit he designed that had pants, but he ditched it to wear dicks Robin suit as a sign of respect. so Tim’s supposed revolutionary changes to the Robin identity weren’t even original😭 I honestly find it funny how highly you people hold a character that was literally created to be relatable to the biggest young audience they could manage, he’s literally a blank slate people could project their teenage angst on.

It’s like looking in a mirror,,,,,,it’s almost as if the Young Justice team was originally founded by Tim Drake,,,,,almost as if before Tim, Robin was just a Batman shadow unless the robins moved on to become new vigilantes instead of helping alongside Batman as an equal,,, almost as if Tim Drake was the most popular Robin until they started playing him as queer,,,,

Look, if you want to come off anon and happily talk about how Robin has been slowly cherry picking aspects of Tim’s run in adaptations post his introduction, I’d love to. But I’m not really interested in entertaining a random anon on tumblr when I have better things to do with my time.

Dick Grayson may be the ‘first’ Robin (within context of how long he lasted/became a comic regular. There were at least two robins prior to his serialization.) but you can’t sit there are argue that Tim didn’t reinvent the mantle and add on its most iconic visuals.

And unfortunately homophobia can factor into how Tim is treated by the fandom. People are homophobic. Comic fans especially. Having Tim Drake be bisexual gives DC an excuse to not further his character. Because apparently you can be gay or you can be consistently in runs. DC gets to retire Tim for being unpopular while using his iconography, and homophobic comic fans win because they no longer get graced with a faggot Robin in their content.

…also what do you mean by “you people”

[tophat-69]

So, I wrote a whole long post about funding and patent ownership and how it would impact Jayce and Viktor’s work, but Tumblr ate it and I refuse to rewrite it right now because I hold a grudge.

If you ever need to know what kind of paperwork to have them frustrated over in the background, or why they’re still not rolling in money, let me know.

Instead you’re going to get some fun institute culture and tidbits for flavor, to adapt at will. This is based on my personal experience and is going to be written for humor, but I assure you—it is true.

Welcome to the ridiculous side of working with scientific geniuses.

First thing to know—research institutes are often incredibly siloed. That means that the people working on intelligent systems rarely know what’s going on in chemical engineering. You have your division and you know your own project(s), and maybe what some of what your friendlier coworkers in your own division are working on. Unless there is a specific RFP (request for proposal—see my now nonexistent funding rant) that requires collaboration, you’re usually deep in your own projects.

So the institutes I’ve worked for try to foster collaboration by dragging everyone in a division together to get them describing the barebones basics of their projects.

Now, most scientists I’ve ever worked with are introverted neurodivergent nerds (I am absolutely including myself) and dread this sort of forced interaction. So, how do they pull this off without making it mandatory?

Food.

The Cake Is A Trap

Imagine you have been holed up in your lab or office the entire day. You have a cup of stale coffee and, if you thought about it in the morning, maybe a sandwich in a mini fridge.

It’s after noon, and suddenly you are assailed with the smell of actual food. Something catered if you’re lucky, or even just pizza and cookies—the kind of thing you would scorn from managers in retail as ‘employee appreciation’ can absolutely still be scientist bait.

One by one, heads pop out of offices like prairie dogs warily sticking their heads out of holes. An assistant is sent to research what’s available and gives the scoop on what food there is.

You have been captured.

For forty-five minutes or so, in exchange for an actual meal that you neither have to pay for nor leave the building for, you are encouraged to give a thumbnail description of your work so that everyone can feel like a team. You volunteer your principal investigator to do the talking, stuff your face, and maybe something interesting comes up from another team and you say ‘we should talk about this.’

Your division head feels very accomplished. You scurry back to your lab or your office.

Food is always bait. And it almost always works.

The Lab Is A Cult

Everywhere I’ve worked, every lab has its own culture. You will see cyber security labs with pirate flags covering the glass or Spy Vs Spy figures you’re supposed to greet. You will walk into an intelligent systems lab and there will be a propaganda style poster that reads “Only You Can Prevent Skynet” and people salute it before executing a command. You will see a small pile of candy stacked on top of a piece of equipment in an engineering bay—it is not for you, it is a bribe to keep that machine working.

These are rational, brilliant minds… and in the comfort of their lab they have developed incomprehensible in-jokes and complex superstitions.

Do you watch an experiment because if you look away it will fail, or do you let it do its thing so you don’t jinx it? Is there a mascot to the lab, some outdated prototype or random trinket that now is integral to the operations? Do you hold a funeral for broken equipment or do you shame it as a warning to other equipment? Do you all turn at once to look in horror at someone who says ‘so far so good’ and keep something wooden in the lab to make them knock on?

You enter with skepticism into every lab and judge them for the specific eccentricities… and then you perpetuate them and find yourself adopting them.

You are now an apostle of the lab traditions. Do you believe the scripture of the horrific looking Troll Doll that is older than you and is passed down for luck?

No.

Are you going to risk it?

Also no.

Your Office, Your Playground

In a building full of other neurodivergent nerds, your office is a canvas for you to project all of your other special interests onto. Your research may be your life, but the LEGO replica of Frodo’s trek through Middle Earth that wraps around the walls of your office is your passion. The cardboard cutout of Darth Vader with a cowboy hat perched on his head may raise eyebrows, but they can take it up with him. The vintage wind-up tin toys may be absurd when you’re working on advanced robotics, but they’re where you got your start. The models you built of past projects may be outdated, but they are your children now.

Then there’s the practicalities. Do you believe that a catastrophic system failure could delete all of your work? Good thing you have built a fortress of two inch binders full of every bit of research you have ever done. And if you’ve been there long enough, you may even have to carve a path through it to the postage-stamp sized area cleared just for your chair. Your assistant dreads the impending day that you retire and they have to sort through your important work on railway technology from forty years ago.

You keep a hanger with a full change of respectable clothes and your lucky suit jacket hanging on the back of the door. Just in case someone needs you to look presentable.

Any important meetings are going to happen in a conference room somewhere anyway. Your office is yours, and you owe no one an explanation.

…But come on, it’s better if they ask, so you can infodump.

I could keep going. I may keep going. But please enjoy these real-life examples of scientist absurdities while I decide if I’m going to rewrite the practicalities too.

I hope that these spark ideas for you. Go forth. Write mad scientists. And know that they are fully aware that they’re eccentric and embrace it enthusiastically.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Hey! Been following your blog since my first login here on Tumblr, and I like how you're calmer and more collected on your criticisms of Miraculous than some of the YT community, that are a lot more Watsonian in their nature than your blog, and it led me to the conclusion that the biggest loser with Miraculous as-is is ZaG/Miraculous Corp. themselves. Because TF1 couldn't care less that they didn't get what they wanted, since it's making them LOADS of money (capitalism, baby. It is what it is), and the fandom is effectively discussing it, either being sugar, salt or umami(?) like you (softer on the characters, but harsher on the writers), it's only ZaG and Miraculous Corp that loses because they not only didn't outsmart TF1 into secretly approving a serialized show (it wouldn't have mattered THAT much anyway, the show was approved in the era of Steven Universe and it premiered a semester after Star vs.), but also had to deal with production crunch, a blazing part of the fanbase that thinks the show was made for them, not for 5-year-olds, and a conceited and egotistical lead writer in Thomas Astruc, who'd be even more vitriolic than the show's fanbase in his responses to "fans" on X (finally accepted Twitter is dead), and even if Thomas left the show for good, they still have the failed outsmarting, the production crunch (that often leads to the hectic release schedule with only the first two seasons (if you consider Santa Claws, the obligatory christmas special every episodic show HAS to have, S2's first episode of course) having their premieres being the first episodes in chronological order), and the raging part of the fanbase that thinks that "Miraculous underestimates kids' intelligences" on their backs saying that the show could've been better, and it really damages Zag's reputation, with the CEO of the company, Jeremy Zag, making matters worse by announcing projects that won't fly off the ground instead of giving more of his attention to the backbone of his entire company, and that saddens me a lot, y'know.

I'm honored that you've been here since day one! Also:

umami(?) like you (softer on the characters, but harsher on the writers)

I love this! I'm not a salt blog, I'm an umami blog! (I don't think the sugars would agree, but I still love it.)

I can definitely see what you mean about ZaG and Miraculous Corp being the biggest losers here. Miraculous is commercially successful, but it's not a critical darling that has everyone talking about the show and wanting to invest in ZaG properties. It's just a toxic mess that is sticking around because it makes money. Go look at the awards section on the show's Wikipedia page. It's almost entirely awards for the toys. The awards for the show are not prestigious ones. They don't even have their own Wikipedia pages! (If you're curious, check out Bluey's awards section for comparison. That's what a critical darling looks like.)

A lot of the industry hype for Miraculous came from the fact that adults were watching it, too. It was supposed to be the next My Little Pony, but many of those adult fans have jumped ship because they've lost all faith in the property. The only ones still actively watching and enjoying the show are those who are willing to headcanon and hype themselves into happiness, but I'm guessing even they will one day lose hope and that's a real shame because this wasn't a hard story to tell well.

Instead of taking the show's initial hype and using it to create a beloved show that people will remember for years to come, I think Miraculous will go the way of other show's that squandered their hype. As soon as it's off the air, people will stop talking about it outside of random reddit posts asking what shows you'd like to see rebooted or which shows failed to live up to the promise of the first few seasons.

As someone who adores stories and loves to tell them, that does make me sad. The fact that my stories live on outside of me and find a place in peoples' hearts is what makes it fun to share them! Many of my favorite comments come from people returning to a work several years later to tell me that they still think on it fondly. I wouldn't want to pour my heart and soul into something only for people to remember it as a thing that crashed and burned.

[loquatsloquatsloquats]

So I've Made My Fair Share Of Cookie Run Characters As Tumblr Posts

But What About Cookie Run Characters As Incorrect Quotes?

Starting With; The Dragons!

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Pitaya: I don't need any more friends, I already have three.

Longan: Don't you mean four?

Pitaya: *Looks directly at Ananas*

Pitaya: No, I'm pretty sure I meant to say three.

<>

Ananas: I left Instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Lychee: Mine just says "Lychee no."

Ananas: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

<>

Lychee: *Slams books down infront of Ananas*

Lychee: Boil up some Mountain Dew. it's gonna be a long night.

Ananas: You could have said literally anything else.

Lychee: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Ananas: I'm going to just stop challenging you when you say random things. I won't win. I realize this now.

<>

Lychee: Would you like something to drink? We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr Pepper-

Ananas: Spiders?

Lychee: Spiders it is then.

Ananas: No, that wasn't-

*But they were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders...*

<>

Longan: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny onto Pitaya without them noticing?

Ananas: Hey Pitaya, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't eat this penny.

Pitaya: *Takes and swallows tracker* Pay up loser.

Longan: ...

<>

Longan: And what do you do when someone offers you drugs?

Lotus: Take them!

Pitaya: Punch them in the neck!

Ananas: Say thank you!

Lychee: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance

Longan: ...

Longan: No.

<>

Lotus: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Pitaya: *Looks at Lychee* How tall are you?

<>

Lotus: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are certain people whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

<>

Lychee: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Longan: *Used to Lychee being dumb* Sure...

Lychee: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Longan: Okay?

Lychee: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Longan: ...

Lychee: Lobsters are just mermaid scorpio-

Longan: Okay, that one's a little-

Ananas: *Interested* No, No. Lychee, keep going.

<>

Lychee: Would you rather, kill Longan-

Ananas: Yes, kill them.

Lychee: I didn't say the other thing-

Ananas: I don't need to hear it.

Longan: ...I'm feeling a little unsafe.

<>

Lotus: You really put aside everything and came all this way here for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Longan: Several traffic violations.

Lychee: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Ananas: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Pitaya: Also, that's not our car.

<>

Lychee: *On the phone with Longan* I can't talk right now, doing hot-people stuff.

Longan: You're peeling apart Oreos and saving the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren't you?

Lychee: Maybe.

<>

Longan: Why am I the bad guy?

Ananas: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

<>

Longan: How does one turn their emotions off?

Lychee: Okay, so first go to settings.

Lychee: I'm an idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.

Longan: No, I'm still willing to try this. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

<>

Longan: Remember! Curiosity killed the dragon!

Lotus: Yes, but you forgot that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Pitaya, go find out if that thing can catch fire.

Longan: You're a bad influence.

Lotus: And you don't know your sayings.

<>

Lotus: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.

Ananas: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment? you keep eating all the plants...

<>

Ananas: *Trying to get 5 Seconds of sleep*

Lychee: *Poking their arm* Ananas, Ananas, Ananas, Ananas-

Ananas: WHAT

Lychee: ...We're outta Capri-Suns...

<>

Pitaya: Why are you all acting like this?

Longan: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

<>

Pitaya: Lotus, gather the others. We need to have another 'Longan is doing something stupid again and we have to stop them before they hurt someone' convention.

<>

Lychee: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like- 'Look at this flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I am losing'.

Lotus: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

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1 (Here) | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ?

[justiceforisaacmendez]

Justice for Isaac Mendez: Why Heroes? Why Now?

First off you may be wondering: "Why Heroes? Why Now?" Well I'll tell you why...there has been a grave injustice done to one of the most central characters of the series. Yes, series, not first season. I'm a first time watcher, yes, in the year 2024. I need no judgement. It takes me a while to move on from one show obsession to the next. Although, I can't say I'm obsessed with Heroes just yet. There are some questionable moments that just got me thinking: "Do other people feel this way?” “Was Tumblr around in 2006?” “What would everyone's popular opinions have been?” I'm mid-way through Season 4 at the moment and the only thing I can think about when I watch the show is..."Justice for Isaac Mendez". I believe he was a character with such great potential that was never fully realized. And, then when we thought he had a grasp on his abilities he was just written off in the most uncharacteristic way possible. I don’t know about any behind-the-scenes details. Aside from the writers strike during Season 2 which caused a shortened run, 11 episodes as opposed to 20+. But, not knowing what happened on the production side of things, shouldn’t matter. As a viewer of a show I should be able to understand decisions characters made, but there are so many out of pocket moments. It's like the writers don't even know there own characters. The end of Season 1? Made no sense. Because of the writers decisions, they completely pivoted the directions of all the characters and I'd say mostly not for the better. Do I need to voice my opinions on this topic? No. Could I have just left all of my thoughts to ruminate in my head? Sure, but where is the fun in that? I wanted to share these thoughts in hopes of finding others who understand my POV. It would also be great to learn more about other perspectives from viewers of the show. At the end of the day is it that serious? No. But, in a world that is nothing but serious I need a light distraction to escape the actual injustices of the world. So, we’ll focus my energies on just discussing whatever comes to my mind on a certain day. Whether it’s to discuss why Isaac was the most central character in the series, or why his abilities shouldn’t be replicated, or why he would never have tried to shoot Peter or Simone….so many topics to dive into. And, that’s just on Isaac. Matt Parkman…the amount of injustice done to that man…I just feel bad for him at that point. And, why name his wife Janice?Never mind I’ll save that for another post. Peter Petrelli? I'm supposed to route for him, why is he such an inconsistent person? I have more sympathy for Nathan Peterelli and he was supposed to be evil at one point. Don't forget Hiro..."You already bad guy! You are villain - villain!" Don't get me wrong I like the show, Hiro and Ando the best dynamic duo who have the most memorable lines of comic relief. But, even all of there most iconic lines can't cover up all of the odd plot lines and character decisions. I'm not even going to say bad writing. I'm going to say underdeveloped storylines. It's a show with such great potential, but it was botched in my mind. Season 1 was almost perfect to me, but the following seasons just went downhill. It makes me sad. Tim Kring, you had such wonderful ideas. You created this show. It's such an original idea, I was captivated, then I felt like my heart was being toyed with because all the characters I've come to enjoy just started acting out of sorts. But, you probably get the point now. I’ll just be posting my random thoughts as someone who has yet to finish the series, but will be doing so probably in the next few days. More updates to come after. 

[puckinghischier]

A (kinda) open love letter to hockey

i don’t really know why, but i just have this urge to articulate some of the thoughts swirling in my brain this week. about how much i love the game, the atmosphere, the presence, the players, and everything else surrounding this sport.

i didn’t grow up around hockey, football being the most loved sport in my corner of the world. and honestly, i saw hockey as a ‘filler’ sport most of the time, no one ever really talking about it or watching it. it was just there. always browsing channels and seeing a game on, but never once giving it a second glance.

and i’ll be so totally transparent, the hockey romance books on tik tok are what got me, not a genuine love for the sport itself. i only started watching because i wanted to understand the lingo used and scenarios explained in the books.

i kept seeing all of these tik toks about various players, halfway paying attention and only really commenting on how attractive they were. but then, i really started watching them. i started seeing the personalities peek through each media post, how each one plays the game in their own way, the friendship among the players on and off the ice.

of course, i went through a couple different teams and ‘typical’ duos before settling on my team (the devils, duh). i actually remember scrolling through tumblr, seeing this random man keep popping up on my timeline, not understand why people kept talking about him or where he came from. and lo and behold, imagine my surprise when i saw nico’s face on the devils roster, my mystery man finally identified.

and all the time i’m asked by those around me (mostly the men) “what in the world got you so into hockey? and a team from new jersey at that?”

of course, no matter my response they all just assume it’s because of their looks, but how do you explain the abundance of feminine love and comfort that sits within you for a sports team of grown men, to a man? so i just laugh and go on, telling them i just liked the ‘good vibes’ of their social media videos.

but they won’t ever get it.

they don’t see the way i look forward to coming home from work every day during the season to watch a game. whether the day was good, or bad, or just okay. i know that there’s always that one good thing to be excited about. win or lose.

they don’t see the joy i experience when they win. i always celebrate in some way, even when i’m alone in my bedroom. a little victory dance, an air high five to my tv (if you read this no you didn’t 💔), a text to one of the various friends this sport has brought me.

but of course, they don’t see the friends i’ve gained from hockey. i know there’s some taboo-ness surrounding the idea of friends on the internet, but what else are you supposed to do when you were a teenage girl in the 2010s, where social media was everyone’s main source of communication (and still is). the world is so much more joyous when you can bond with strangers over common interests, no matter where you’re placed in the world. and duh, we all have common sense and know when someone isn’t who they say they are. we are professionals at this, after all.

they choose not to see the depth and layers to sports that so many of us are able to see. they don’t understand that sports aren’t a just a collection of wins and losses. they’re not just a database of stats. they’re these players lives. it’s something these people have worked so hard for —sacrificed for— since they were kids. they don’t hold the same compassion that we do for bad days or bad plays.

they don’t see the appeal of liking multiple teams, not understanding the joy in the fact that each team has something different to offer. it’s always black and white to them. you like one team, and hate all the rest. but, where’s the joy? where’s the joy missed out on in being able to discover and study a whole new roster? where’s the joy in only consuming content about one team? cause me personally, i find a lot of joy in witnessing the nuances of a team other than my own. i find joy in learning the history and traditions of different fanbases.

they don’t see the way that this sport has carried me through the first major loss of my adult life. the fact that when everything felt so wrong and dismal, the only thing to put a smile on my face was this silly game with its silly guys. it was something to be excited about on a day full of goodbyes and grieving. it was a distraction from the reality of the world around me.

so yeah, i’m sure when they see that i’m suddenly obsessed with a sport with large, fit men, they’re gonna chalk it up to the fact i just like looking at them. but they don’t see everything i see when i look at the sport of hockey as a whole.

and maybe i’m just being dramatic and too caught up in my own head, but there was something in me that just needed to write this down. organize it. and maybe you don’t care, but maybe you do.

but my love letter to hockey will always be ongoing, incomplete, and open-ended. because there’ll always be a new season to watch, new players to show love. i will always find new things to love about the sport, every game watched peeling back another layer to be observed.

but for today, i’ll go through and scroll on social media, consuming all the content i can while waiting for the game tonight. then i’ll put on my jersey, sit in my room, and watch. i’ll enter that bubble once again and live in a world only consumed by hockey for a few hours. and when the game is over, win or lose, i’ll carry the joy and comfort of the game with me into whatever tomorrow brings, ready to do it all over again.

[oblivionsdream]

Hey @oblivionsdream !

I have 2 questions - bear with me…

As you know, I love your work, but have only just recently started actively engaging with it.

I actually first came across you and your Jester x knight OC’s at least a year or two ago, when a fellow DinLuke shipper tagged it with #dinluke, so it showed up on my feed. If you aren’t into Star Wars and are unfamiliar with it - that’s the romantic pairing between Din Djarin (the Mandalorian) and Luke Skywalker.

For a while, I actually thought that it was a medieval DinLuke au because there are quite a few fanarts exploring that ship in different universes (including ours) and different timelines, etc.

One of the things that lent credence to this idea was the fact that the king looks so much like the Jedi, Quinlan Vos.

The characters do also closely match the personalities that a lot of the fandom have collectively given Din and Luke on tumblr - like Luke actually being a feral mischievous gremlin underneath his serene Jedi facade, and Din actually being the more composed (and often lovingly exasperated) of the two.

It was a surprise when I looked more into it and realised that they are original characters, completely unrelated to DinLuke and Star Wars as a whole.

So I guess I’m just curious what was the inspiration behind the Jingly Menace and his steadfast, taciturn knight? Was it a song or a meme or just watching a medieval show and during a scene with a jester, you had a sudden burst of creative juices like “Eureka! Pretty jester x hot knight!”

Sorry if you’ve already answered this and I’ve just missed it while scrolling through your page.

My other question (this I know has been queried to JM himself but he nervously evaded the question) when JM is shown crying in one of the first pictures you posted of him, what was the actual reason that you had in mind behind it? Was it just simply because his attempts to get the hot mysterious knights attention had thus far been unsuccessful (from his perspective anyway) and he succumbed to a private moment of vulnerability?

Every time I look at it, I’m dying to know!

Anyway, love you! Hope the JM comic is still on the horizon at some point - coz I would buy and read the crap out of it!

Hey there!

I honestly had no idea what DinLuke is though I've seen the tags. My knowledge of Star Wars comes from whatever I have absorbed against my will being online and when my best friend made me watch the prequels a few years ago 😂

So Jester solely came to be because I've loved jesters for many years at this point. I just find them fun but there's never enough content for them out there so I just wanted to make my own oc. I also just love trickster characters- anything fae like or I always adored Loki in Norse mythology so he's very based into those kind of mischievous vibes and humor.

Augustine was purely accidental. I saw some Tumblr post about a knight or maybe it was about a jester and a knight (I no longer remember) so I thought it would be funny to doodle Jester with a random knight being a menace asking him about his big sword. Augustine was never supposed to be a character. But then I just kept coming up with other ideas for Jester and this random knight whose face he never saw and whelp here we are.

Soooo the crying. It was definitely a private moment no one else was supposed to witness. Part of something I find interesting with playing with Jester's character is the idea that sometimes the seemingly happiest and funniest people are also the saddest but they just cover it up with a smile. His backstory before coming to the castle is still something that affects him but also he feels lonely at court. He constantly craves the validation of attention he didnt really get as a kid and is constantly surrounded by people but also he feels very lonely in court. He is in a strange place of being neither noble but also not quite a commoner/servant. Nobility will look down on him and not take him serious because he's just a silly guy but the servants are wary to get too close because of his close relationship with the king and the fact that he technically has a higher status as Court Jester. He is one of Monty's closest confidantes but his own secrets keep him from being fully honest with his king. It's a strange place of feeling alone in the middle of a crowded court where everyone sees his silly jester persona and make up but no one sees beneath it.

I still hope to make a comic! Just trying to find the time to get all my ideas in order. Thanks for liking my silly guys!

[only-sweet-ones]

Hi sorry if this is random but I think it would be really fun if you shared a little about yourself. Anything you feel comfortable posting. Favorite snack, dream job, a random talent, how you ended up in this fandom. Just curious about the person behind the blog if you are up for it.

What a sweet ask🥹 Thank you!

I am just a regular person that for whatever reason got a little bit of fixation on Nicola, but it is fun and inspiring so all in good faith.

My favorite snack at the moment is mini carrots🥕 , so I am very on brand with this fandom (ikyk)

If you are wondering how I got here, I suppose it was like most of the people here, after season 3.

Everyone around me was excited for Bridgerton s3, so I checked out the trailer. I was hooked, so I watched s1&2 before part one dropped. Then I dove into the press tour (Nicola with Luke, Claudia, Lydia, and Aimee), and that’s when I fell in love with Nicola. I went on to watch Derry Girls and Big Mood.

I was never a shipper—probably because I watched full interviews instead of edits. While Luke and Nicola were affectionate and flirty, for me it was clear they weren’t dating. I wasn’t super deep in the fandom, but I heard about Antonia through TikTok comments, so the pap pics weren’t a big surprise.

But there wasn’t much information about Nicola, and curiosity killed the cat. Somehow, I ended up on Tumblr—the only place that entertained the idea that she wasn’t with Luke and might be with someone else. But there was also a lot of delulu, and honestly, you couldn’t look away. The mix of different opinions, constant speculation, and ever-changing narratives really pulled me in.

I’ve taken plenty of breaks from this fandom, but somehow, I always find myself coming back.

When things started getting more toxic and negative, I decided to start this little blog to be more proactive and focus on posting positive content. But now, I feel like there are a lot more positive stuff in Nicola’s tag, which makes me really happy

Yes, I’m a bit of a yapper—guess that’s my not-so-secret talent!

[copperbadge]

Supposedly, people with Anphantasia don't get scared reading scary stories, or at least not much. Is that true with you if you ever read Horror?

You know, I'd never thought about it, but I suppose it is. To an extent, anyway.

Follows a discussion of my relationship to horror prose and media; if you don't know what aphantasia is, as many people coming to this tumblr don't, I have a tag for it here that may help -- it's basically the lack of a "mind's eye", a visual imagination, so I hear/read things and don't see an image of them in my mind. If you are scoffing right now that nobody actually has a mind's eye, congratulations, you may also have aphantasia. The articles linked in the tag will be useful to you.

I have definitely been scared by prose before but it's very rare, and not much since I was a child, when the stories I found scary were preying on fears I already had. I loved the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark books, and I think it's not unusual that I found the illustrations more frightening than the prose, but the only story that ever scared me was the one about the vampire who kept trying to grab a kid through a window -- because I had a window over my bed in my childhood bedroom and I was terrified I'd look up to see someone looking down at me through it. Likewise, as an adult, the only content in horror I find scary is what I think of as "mind horror" -- the loss of faculty or the loss of awareness of faculty (think the end scene of the novel Hannibal with the brain). Which is one of my biggest fears.

I don't read much horror because generally I get bored, which has in the past made me feel faintly appalled at myself, but which now makes more sense. Certainly I have no interest in slasher-style gore in prose, because I find it uninteresting and it goes on a really long time, while I don't watch it in movies/TV because the visual is upsetting -- so if I was getting the visual from the prose I might react more emotionally. I am a fan of Stephen King but mostly his early work where he was shorter on suspense, and I was reading it because I liked the ideas and the characters. Carrie is super interesting because of the personalities involved, not because of the violence or the horror aspects. But I've never seen a movie adaptation and I can imagine I would be deeply unsettled if not distraught by certain scenes if depicted visually. Although I didn't find the Hannibal TV series super upsetting (I mostly was put off by how bad I imagined Will smelled) so perhaps body horror just doesn't do it for me.

This may also explain my hard-no on zombie media, because I'm not scared at all of zombies, I just find them boring and gross, and that leaves the post-apocalyptic humans. My hard-no on post-apocalypse anything is an aversion to imagining the end of my world, though, which isn't visual, it's conceptual, and not scary, just upsetting.

Like, people kept suggesting Zombies Run! to me when I was taking up running and -- well, one, I needed the music to keep my pace, I didn't want it interrupted. But two, I didn't see why a bunch of random groaning noises would make me run faster. If you could see zombies chasing you in your head, yeah, that'd probably be more motivating.

It kind of explains too why I haven't written much horror. I used to be very curious about how people worked out what's "scary" in horror prose and I guess part of the curiosity came from not experiencing it myself. It's tough to know how to write a scary story when stories don't scare you.

To be clear, I definitely experience fear. Reading Stephen King's "It" didn't really scare me, but there were scary moments in the film adaptations. I startle at jumpscares. There's plenty of stuff in real life that I'm scared of. And even podcasts -- I don't get mental images during podcasts like apparently most people do, but Magnus Archives got me with the "digging into your pre-existing fears" thing once or twice, and while I didn't finish The Left Right Game (I just got bored) the hitchhiker scene definitely got me. But I think, unless it's playing on something conceptual that already existed, yeah, I don't find prose particularly frightening.

Huh. This feels like the kind of thing that could have a significant impact on my creative output if I could crowbar my way into it. Knowing that I as an aphantic don't need descriptions that other people do has already, I think, impacted my editing process, but this feels like it maybe would somehow have an effect on the whole thing -- the fact that I don't experience emotions when reading in the same way other people do because I don't get the visuals is something to meditate on.

How the fuck did I ever even become a writer. Like what's up with that.

(Ironically it was X-Files fanfic. X-Files, a show that very much did scare me, for which I wrote and read a lot of fanfic, none of which did...yikes. Well, that's something to meditate on for the weekend.)