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I read that most recent post you made with Viktor's death and oh my god the bittersweet gut punch was real

I’m so sorry for the morning emotional damage!

I think for me it’s important that while “it’s the good, defining itself” is a happy ending story, I don’t want to erase Viktor’s disability or his chronic illness.

And part of that is accepting that his death is going to happen. Not right away. And not in suffering—not when his husband and eldest daughter are determined to develop treatments for him. But he does have a shorter lifespan.

Viktor came to terms with that when they started their life together over again and he’s tried to ease Jayce into accepting that too. But in this timeline they’ll have essentially twice as long together as in the last one because of early and ongoing treatment. Added to their past life, that’s decades shared together, and married for basically their entire second life.

Viktor considers that a gift. This second life of theirs hasn’t been perfect, but perfection isn’t a human trait and he learned to accept that. It was a painful lesson but one that stuck with him.

Jayce knows that because he was the one to deliver that message, and he understands Viktor’s reasoning, but he will be devastated.

The fact that they are inextricably bound, and that even Viktor’s death won’t fully separate them, is a saving grace for Jayce. These two are crazy about each other (sometimes literally), and carrying Viktor’s soul with him will ensure that he’s never lost him.

So while I don’t think I’ll write this as a timestamp, I did want to share the general idea of how their story will ‘end.’ Which is to say—it won’t.

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TW: Character Death

When Viktor’s health finally begins to dwindle in the world of “it’s the good, defining itself”—years past how long he lived in their first life together—he will glow brighter in the shared dream space between himself and his husband. Jayce will notice it, because he’s a scientist and a trained observer, but it will only worry him more.

Candles burn brightest before they go out.

But Jayce is missing something, in his fears. That shared space is formed by their soul, singular, split messily between them and never fully separate.

Through Viktor’s death(s), canon has already distinguished the soul as independent of the body. A body is just a shell—we have seen that the soul can survive its destruction.

When Viktor dies, he’ll leave behind two cities that he fundamentally changed again. Spray painted murals and a cobbled together statue of him in the mask will survive him, as he said they would. But so will a nation that he helped to free, and a college that will continue to push boundaries that Piltover would balk at, and young scientists that he gave a future outside of mines and factories, and children who loved him as family.

And a husband who will be devastated.

At first, Jayce will be inconsolable.

Until he falls asleep and sees Viktor there. Glowing brightly, made of stars and galaxies and nebulas, with gentle words but strong opinions about Jayce blaming himself as if he was supposed to cure mortality. As if Viktor would have let him try that again.

Their souls are bound together. Inextricable. Viktor told him that he was not willing to let Jayce go so easily, did he think that was meant lightly?

Jayce never needs to ask himself what Viktor would think or do, because Viktor’s right there the moment he closes his eyes. Jayce is the steward of their goals and dreams in the waking world, but Viktor waits for him in their own dream.

No longer able to pull Jayce in, unable to impact him when he’s conscious. But also no longer muffling his feelings to protect Jayce from experiencing his pain.

So even awake, Jayce will know that he’s loved. Wholly and completely, irrationally and obstinately.

He always feared outliving Viktor. But he won’t, and he can’t, because as long as he lives so will Viktor.

And perhaps even longer.

Time and space are human constructs, imposed by simple mortals to make sense of the endless dream they’re all merely players within.

But that dream itself is endless.

Perhaps as years march on they’ll fade in the annals of ‘great’ men. But this time, they were able to do good.

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…Am I now shipping Silco and Steb? Is this a thing my brain is actually doing to me?

(No, but ONLY because Steb is an Enforcer and I don’t think Silco could overlook that. Gills? Sure. Badge? Pass.).

Idk about anyone else but I hear a small ‘sorry’ from arcane designers to silco enjoyers embedded in the steb character design lol

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An addendum to this, which I am also seeing:

There seems to be a trend of issuing moral judgment against people’s interpretations of different fictional characters.

That’s not unique to Tumblr, I’ve lived through it before. But it gains a lot of traction here.

As someone who lived through the big pushback against A/B/O fics, and about how making XYZ character bottom is feminizing, it’s always been there.

It can be incredibly demoralizing for creators though. When you have to second guess yourself 100K into a fic to see if you’re really a problem because you wrote a character being sarcastic and what if you’re among the people who is being subtweeted as portraying them as emotionally abusive or playing into a negative stereotype or whatever generalizations being made that week…

I don’t know, man.

Sometimes I just like to make my characters sarcastic, because I enjoy writing banter.

Not everything needs to be debated. This is a lesson that I am working to teach myself before I engage in fandom Tumblr, because I’m new here but the reputation of this platform does proceed it a smidge (you’ve all been great and so far no one has eaten me alive, so no complaints from me).

I’ve got a lot in common with Viktor, most of it things that I really wish I didn’t relate to him because of. So I have opinions in response to some of the arguments I see here about Viktor, and I’m going to just… keep my mouth shut.

Because in the end most of us are projecting something of ourselves onto these characters, and playing these relationships out based on our interests, and the beauty of them being fictional is that they are quite literally intended as a canvas for creativity.

My personal experiences don’t make me an expert on the fictional character because no one is. Hell, we disagree with the opinions of even the creatives behind the show, so we’re going to disagree with how fans portray them at times too.

I don’t know.

I should just get back to writing.

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Hey Hattie, thank you so much for taking your time to reply to my previous ask about your beginning as a fic writer! I found it really interesting to see how you got into writing and what set the foundation for your writing style.

I have another question if you don't mind sharing: How did you get into the BSD fandom and what are your favourite manga/anime besides BSD?

Wishing you a nice day <3

Thank you so much for asking on the last one, too! I know I probably sounded like a recruitment speech for X-Men, but it was fun to look back at how I ended up the way that I am (an irredeemable nerd).

As for how I got into BSD, it started being recommended to me as soon as it hit Yen Press in English, and then on Crunchyroll like that same month. It was 2016, the world was a hellscape with an election coming up that was revealing some people for who they really are in a very disappointing way.

So when my recommended list was like “hey, nerd, you studied literature, you’re gonna love this” I went “hell, why not, I’ll give it a shot.”

The fandom already existed of course because of those fan translations, but I was part of that influx of American fans in mid 2016. I got hooked, then I was finding the fan translations of the manga and just speedrunning my way through it.

And then the election happened and I was leaving a job that I loved rather than be even tangentially related to that shitshow, and the escapism became critical.

2017 was a lot like 2025 has been. So it was like “horrific current event,” “small act of resistance,” “palate cleanser bit of anime,” “protest against police brutality,” “the anime boys should kiss,” “here’s how not to be arrested at a march,” “time to start writing a massive SKK fic,” “write speeches for the next town hall/public comment,” “how to traumatize your favorite characters in 3 easy steps, featuring: self-lubrication.”

You know. A totally normal progression of events! So I was totally normal about my escapism and didn’t at all take my anxiety out on Chuuya for 200K words.

The start of my involvement in BSD really, really did sort of go hand in hand with everything that was going on. I choose putting my faves through hell and trying to map out their brains so that I didn’t have to live in mine all the time.

As for anime/manga—the ones outside of BSD that really sucked me in were probably Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Noragami, which were sort of the precursors to BSD for me. I watched others, like Yuri on Ice, and also My Hero Academia (probably because of my aforementioned X-Men obsession) but I was pretty casual about them and fell out of BNHA eventually. I got deeply invested in MDZS though when the donghua started, and did my deep dive into that too.

Anyway, another long rambling reply that went off the rails a couple of times! Thank you for the ask, and sorry for the asides!

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I don’t do April Fool’s Day because I am too gullible and too anxious to trust any social media, so instead I am going to post an old fic to Tumblr in honor of the day!

April's Fool

At nine o’clock on a random morning in April an alarm peals out on Dazai’s phone. And it will continue to, until he finds out why he is living this same unremarkable day again and again.

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Soukoku (Dazai/Chuuya)

Status: Complete (Four Chapters)

Words: 28K

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Time Loop, Top Dazai, Bottom Chuuya, Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya's Unconventional Mating Rituals, Getting Back Together, Case Fic, Angst with a Happy Ending

Warnings: Temporary Character Death (in reference only--not explicit), Mental Health Issues (Dazai Is stuck in a time loop, he doesn't particularly handle it well)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55384720

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Souheki having entire convos in their minds

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SOUKOKUUUUUU

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Hey Hattie, I'm really curious if you don't mind sharing: When did you start writing and what was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

You are one of my all-time favourite writers in the bsd fandom and I absolutely love your writing style!

Wishing you a wonderful day <3

Hello! First of all, thank you so much for reading my stories, and I’m so glad you enjoyed them! The BSD fandom is full of so many amazing and creative writers, and I’m honored to have even made it on the radar!

As for when and where I started... I probably started officially writing fic when I was fourteen? Maybe thirteen. I’ve been a Marvel Comics fan since I was very, very young and there were some amazing characters that weren’t nearly used enough, and plots that they could have followed through very differently.

I’ve always been a character writer, and X-Men has (in my opinion) always been the most character-driven Marvel title. The different Avengers and Spider-Man and the like have the more iconic villain line-ups and do very sweeping plots and action (which is part of why they make for better movies). But the X-Men are basically the dramatic bickering tight-knit found family of outcasts that a queer teenager could understand. It wasn’t as much about the ships there, it was about the family.

I think in many fandoms I find a character that I grab ahold of and go “this one. I relate to this one.” In X-Men though because it is such an ensemble, it was more wanting to see dynamics and interactions. I think the next best comparison there IS Bungo Stray Dogs because, while I may love to write the relationship between Dazai and Chuuya, the other characters are just a joy to include and find the voices for.

While there was never as much demand for their stories, I think X-Men might have set the foundation for my writing style regardless of fandom. Character-driven, but with plots that build usually because the characters themselves—heroes and villains alike—are such damaged and usually deeply misunderstood train wrecks.

So, I suppose that’s my fic-writer origin story!

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Me the moment I start reading, excitedly agreeing that I do headcanon Silco curling up protectively to sleep …and then realizing my story is quite literally the first example paragraph so obviously you know that!

Like you wrote in your own story, I have Silco sleeping very much like a child curling into fetal position while being kicked, trying to keep as much of himself safe as possible. The story is being told in Vander’s limited perspective, so at first he first thinks that it must have been because it was a brutal day of Silco literally being kicked while he was down.

Because Vander’s from the Sumps. And especially before the two of them carve out the Lanes, they’re not just broke there—they’re impoverished. Media tends to focus on huddled figures in the streets asking for money as sort of the catch-all image of ‘this is what poverty looks like!’ But that’s not necessarily what generational poverty looks like. In impoverished communities, who are they imagining folks are sitting there begging for help from when everyone is struggling?

We’ve seen in flashbacks that Vi and Powder shared a bed when they were younger, and later Jinx and Isha are a cuddle pile, and it got me thinking about ‘bed poverty.’ Not enough beds for everyone to have their own, so babies often share with parents and kids with each other. That’s not a tragic image to throw out there about ‘look how sad and poor they are!,’ it’s folded in as a part of the culture and probably has something to do with how close-knit these communities become.

So Vander’s casual about it. “Cool you’re here, you need sleep, you can have whichever side of the bed you want.” And it’s not because he’s flirting with Silco (he is, but not with this) it’s because he doesn’t really think anything of it.

Silco does. Because he’s not part of the community, he’s an outcast and he sleeps protectively. And he’s startled as hell to wake up curled around the giant heated teddy bear that is Vander, who he’s unconsciously coiled himself around by the time he wakes up. Whereas Vander would see puppy-pile sleeping as safety.

So, that’s my Vander sleep headcanon and my Silco sleep headcanons, all rolled together!

I was reading this fanfic and I came across this line

While Silco let himself be pulled to Vander’s bed, he immediately claimed the spot against the wall and faced away from Vander so he could curl into himself, even his hands tucked to his chest as he protectively closed himself off. Vander didn’t take it personally. Silco sure as hell should know now that he can trust Vander to watch his back, and if that’s what makes him feel safest after a pretty screwed up day where he easily could have been killed… that makes sense. 

It made me realize that I also headcanon Silco sleeping curled up. (this is from a fic I once tried to write:

They don’t know of the way Silco’s features slacken or the way he furrows his brow in his sleep. They don’t know that every night, Silco starts out determined, fists clenched and on his back. That however, as long as sleep lasts long enough Silco always ends up curled up inwards on himself like a scrawny boy trying to protect against a kick. They don’t know what it felt like the first time Silco curled towards him and how Vander spent all night barely breathing, afraid that the smallest movement would make his wiry comrade jerk up from his sleep.

)

So, what's your Silco sleep headcanon? Is he a hugger? Somebody who sprawls out possessively all over the bed? Somebody who sleeps stiff and regal and poised? Curled up into himself?

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Your ranting did Not put me off, in fact, it just makes me happier to see truly how much passion you putt into your fics!

Also you calling Silco 19 has just made me realise that it gets slightly funnier that Vander at the start of the fic is just thinking "Man,,,this poor weedy shrimpy 17 year old : (" and "It's nice the mines take care of their youngest member" when No, you're the same age buddy

Silco’s sarcasm would have been a beautiful thing had he been able to read Vander’s mind for that whole first meeting. Even putting aside Vander’s mental soliloquy about the exact shade of his eyes, there would have been SO MUCH snarking about the advanced wisdom that must be granted by grace of the few months age difference between them.

But yes, we started with Vander at 19 and Silco at 18 about to turn 19, so for a few months each year Vander is older! And if he’d actually voiced an exact guess during that entire first bombed flirting attempt at the bar as he sat there fishing for Silco’s age, there is no way he would ever live it down. But when you look at this young Silco concept art you have to think… this kid would have gotten carded in Piltover.

Once they get “old,” those same jokes about Vander’s wisdom would turn into digs at how understandable it is that someone at Vander’s advanced age would misplace their keys five minutes after having them in hand, or how he clearly couldn’t be faulted for not remembering which direction toilet paper is SUPPOSED to be placed on a roll.

Meanwhile at the mines, Silco still rails at being condescended to because he did start there as a 10-year-old but now they still act like he’s the ‘kid’ on the crew even while he’s at the most dangerous job in the deepest part of the mine. All while chain smoking, blowing things up, and pontificating like he’s got a dissertation to defend.

Kids these days with their secessionist manifestos, their historical tomes, and their ramblings about economic inequality.

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OHHH my god ty SO much for updating, I've only just gotten around to TSF (I've been Saving it because it looked so good) and OUGHH chapter 5 JUST when I started it??? I feel so TREATED

You've taken "the children yearn for the mines" to a whole new height ;-;

I’m so glad you started TSF, and I’m so happy that you liked it!

Chapter 5 got long, mostly because Vander and Silco almost demand to be domestic coparenting teen dads before they’re even actually dating. I couldn’t shake the image of nineteen year old Silco immediately going “I have only had Felicia for a day and a half, but if anything ever happened to her I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

(This poor man. He has no idea that he was destined to be both a girl dad and an absolute pushover for a daughter. Felicia is training him well for Jinx’s future benefit.)

And I KNOW that the children yearning for the mines is a meme but now I get to be a nerd in replies so BEFORE I do that thank you so so much for reading and for letting me know you enjoyed!

…

…because now I am going to jump into child labor laws in the 1830s.

Why? Because I am a nerd and a simple meme joke gave me an opening and that’s all I need to infodump! This is the magic of ✨neurodivergence✨ because any random combination of words threatens to send my brain careening in a different direction.

I’m going to preface this by saying that for this story I’ve been doing entirely too much research on early 1800s coal mining (ex: my use of Geordie Lamps because a canary wouldn’t survive Zaun’s polluted air, let alone the air their mines). But I’ve also been brushing up relevant factors in the Industrial Revolution and to an extent the Victorian era… because Zaun is heavily influenced by the Steam Punk genre which is heavily influenced by those historical timeframes. Zaun is written to show the seedy underbelly of that genre, the parts of it that a more romanticized view like Piltover glosses over.

So this gilded fantastical realm is inspired by an era where 50% of the workforce was made up of children. Children with parents started work between the ages of 9 and 14. Orphans were put to work as young as 4. They were considered cheaper, easier to manage, and families had been putting kids to works on their farms and domestic workshops and homes already so the justification was right there for them. Families in poverty often have their kids enter the workplace as soon as they’re legally able, because that’s often the only way they can support themselves. And the Sumps prior to the Lanes were the literal depths of poverty, and even after they still aren’t exactly rolling in wealth.

Silco started as a trapper in the mines at 10 and that’s a pretty common role to shove kids into, and a would be a not-uncommon starting age. Basically he’d be crammed in the dark for 12 hours at a time opening and closing a trap door for coal tubs and fresh air. Even during his time at the mines, though, Zaun was undergoing the technological advancements that both Zaun and Piltover are famous for, and he’s a smart kid and basically became the one learning each new advancement they brought in at every chance so he could make himself indispensable. Which is how he ended up a blaster so young.

He doesn’t have an inherently negative view of child labor. He was a kid, he did a job, he got paid, he got out of the orphanage, and it wasn’t uncommon or unusual. Before Vander and Silco’s work for the Lanes, it’s pretty clear from Silco’s later rants in-show that there weren’t exactly unions around pushing for improved conditions, either.

The change from “child labor for all!” to strict child labor laws took a century. Arguably longer. They slowly went “eh, maybe not four year olds. Let’s start at nine” and then the Factory Act of 1833 said “okay but let’s be reasonable 9-12 year olds can ONLY work 8 hours a day, and 13-17 year olds can ONLY work 12 hours a day.” And on and on from there, these incremental little steps, often pushed by labor unions.

So, in the actual realm of Arcane we see all these children working in the factories and it’s horrific—because it is and was and will always be—but it’s also commentary on the sort of thing a rosy look at history glosses right over when it comes to people who lived in poverty, instead of the fantasy “topside.”

Silco’s like “yeah, started at the mines at 10, been here ever since” and it just is what it is. Commonplace. Vander’s family had a business so he’s worked just as long but was better protected, and he didn’t start in the real workforce outside of the Drop until years later, because the bar couldn’t support itself.

So Silco and Vander have subtle but significant difference of viewpoints. And Piltover never had to confront that reality at all, until Jayce is in the factory.

…Anyway, side rant done! I have a ton of research and parallels and symbolism and just layers of useless nonsense I’ve written into this story and around this story, and it’s generally going to waste in my head so it jumped right out.

I hope that didn’t scare you off, and that you continue to stick around and enjoy the story!

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Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Silco (Arcane: League of Legends)/Vander (League of Legends) Characters: Silco (Arcane: League of Legends), Vander (League of Legends), Felicia (Arcane: League of Legends), Benzo (Arcane: League of Legends), Connol (Arcane: League of Legends) Additional Tags: Zaun (League of Legends), Zaun Revolution (League of Legends), Piltover and Zaun Bridge Battle (Arcane: League of Legends), Prequel, Young Vander (League of Legends), Young Silco (Arcane: League of Legends), Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Class Issues, Pre-Arcane: League of Legends, Pre-Canon, Minor Original Character(s), Rebellion, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Minor Character Death, Flirting, Developing Relationship, Dramatic Irony, Felicia is Vander's Adoptive Younger Sister Summary:

It begins in a coal mine. It ends in a river.

They are Vander and Silco, two young revolutionaries tied together by love and ideals and family, destined to fall apart over a shared dream.

But there are so many years between.

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Hi <3 I reread trapped by a singular fate again recently and it's just so damn good. It's such a pleasure to absolutely sink into the story and the dynamics you've created between silco and vander, it's beautifully crafted. <333

I am so glad you’re enjoying it! It’s not exactly my most popular story, so hearing that anyone enjoys it makes it feel a little less like a self-indulgence.

Your encouragement is greatly appreciated—and I wanted to update it for you! So Chapter 5 is now up a little earlier than planned!

We’re starting to see a burgeoning relationship between Vander and Silco and the origin of their first crusade—to carve out the Lanes.

(And as always more foreshadowing as to how they eventually fall apart.)

I hope you enjoy it!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62953588/chapters/161214040

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Imagine: Silco turns to Singed as they enter the alley and tells him in a vicious whisper to not to let Vander die, or to bring him back no matter the cost. Silco’s funding him anyway, and even beyond that he has just taken control of the undercity. This is a command, not a request.

He enters the alley, encounters Powder and takes her away, but gives Reveck a look as he passes that makes it clear what his job is.

Silco knows from then on that Singed is trying to revive Vander, the way that the doctor is trying to revive his own daughter. And he’d best give it the same amount of attention.

Alive and changed is better than gone forever.

And now we have another Jayvik parallel with Vander/Silco: he would rather turn the man he loves into a monster than accept his death. Vander lingers for so long that Silco doesn’t know if he’ll ever wake again.

Silco doesn’t live to see the monster he created, but he does live to see how the work on Vander has developed Shimmer into exactly what their daughter needs to survive.

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Dear Hattie, I just wanted to thank you for your writing. I've been reading some of your fics over the past few weeks and they brought me much joy and gave me comfort when I wasn't feeling too well due to my chronic illness. The way you write my favorite characters feels really special to me and I just wanted to express how much I appreciate you sharing your beautiful fics <3

First I’m sorry your chronic illness is giving you trouble—I certainly empathize and I know it can suck. I’m glad reading my stories have been a comfort while dealing with it, I know that they’ve been one for me while writing them.

I just love these characters, and getting into their heads is a good way to take myself out of mine—if that makes sense and doesn’t make me sound crazy!

Thank you so much for reading my stories, and for taking a moment to tell me that you enjoyed them. You made my day—and I hope that I can write something that will make yours better too!

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Your tags were too good to stay hidden, @bbnojayvik — because you’re RIGHT.

Jayce nicknaming Viktor’s practicum “Advanced Ecoterrorism” and having to babysit his husband and their kids and students so that they don’t wander off mid-class to sabotage Piltover’s industries was an image I couldn’t stop giggling over as I wrote it.

And all of Zaun is just going “oh, that’s just the Professor for you. Did you hear about the time he made Piltover wade in shit?”

The man, the myth, the terroristic legend.

I just couldn’t resist, I read a really good Jayvik fanfic that I adored. This is my take on Ekko’s wall painting. I have a few ideas still in mind.