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#my posts#adding this do they of you rest this you clocked on it to see more#or at least you are reading this bc you decided to do so#... this is kinda. stupid but im just tired of feeling like it doesnt matter what i do its always wrong#like. sometimes i feel like i should try to do something out that doing a thing will be okay#and it... doesn't really happen. like it's never worst case scenario either but i just always end up feeling bad#like I'm never sure if where I'm standing and I'm just in a series of trap doors that will always end up opening once i stand on them#they never get me too far down bc it's never all that important#but..... I'm never going up either#...... idk i feel like I'm being dramatic and overreacting. but also I'm just feeling. bad. and I'm tied of that#... posting it anyway bc im not sure if its the kind of thing that id easily reach out to friends about lmao#i know i shouldnt. project how bad i feel about myself on them but i feel like im annoying and id bother them. or that theyd dont care#i know it's wrong but. cant really stop it and asking for reassurance feels.. bad also#....... theres a lot going on im just gonna stop. ill post it and stop i think#..... not even sure i should post it to begin with but#deleting it or putting it into drafts doesnt exactly feel like screaming into the void. not the same way as posting it
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Worth mentioning that I'm partially switching doctors bc when I was running all over the place trying to get my surgery shit set up in time, and I went to the bloodwork lab for the second time, I vented just a little bit to the woman who's been working there a long time. being like. I've had to do this and that and my doctor said this and that he can't find this... and she was like Hmm. You have Dr. (name of my doctor), don't you?
#SHE KNEW HIS NAME#his practice literally has a reputation at this lab for being a huge mess#bc she regularly gets his patients having to boomerang to the lab.................................#that was quite a day. this was some weeks back#ofc. since it was before surgery#sergle.txt#and she wrote down the name of this other dr. for me. and I haven't gone to see him yet#but he's at least never had his fucking license suspended#this wasn't the Reason but it was the Last Straw in deciding I'm not going back to this doc and I hope he dies#I was already becoming painfully aware that I think he's incompetent#and I was realizing that I was so upset about the idea of Him administering an EKG for me#him specifically. bc I had read that you gotta take your shirt off and ALSO YOUR BRA#even though when I got the ekg at another hospital I got to keep my bra off. but anyway#I SPECIFICALLY didn't want HIM to do it. and like. well I can't have him be my doctor if I feel that strongly.
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ok ok its my fault for being on reddit but r/houseofthedragon rn full of people arguing that demon and his 99% neck lizard have a stronger bond than aegon and sunfyre and it's so fucking frustrating that its entirely condolt's fucking fault that this is even a fucking argument because he thinks the greatest bond between a dragon and his rider to ever go that fucking hard in this universe is pRopaganda and gives dae mon and car ax es more screentime. i'm just so fucking done man. never showed us sunfyre TRULY until it was time for demon jr the anime edgelord to attack him and aegon, never get the fact that sunfyre is literally on aegon's arms, never got the coronation flying, DIDN'T GET ANYTHING UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO FUCK HIM UP FOR THE PLOT.
i wish this mf would get fucking fired before he has a chance to touch these two anymore because I don't think i can handle how he will underplay and butcher the fact that this dragon literally fought tooth and claw with a broken wing to find his way back to his rider.
#tbd#anti ryan condal#hotd critical#anti hotd#Sunfyre#Aegon II Targaryen#and this mf gave so much screentime to FUCKING VERMITHOR BEFORE HE WAS EVEN NEEDED#that should've gone to dreamfyre and sunfyre#i'm like y'know what we need to manifest alan taylor for sunfyre aegon eps bc i can't deal with this#at least i know that man likes these two 😭😭😭#and i'm still like its so obvious who sunfyre is named for but tom and phia can beg for helaegon and will get fuck all#meanwhile other actors can suggest whatever they want and get it#and it's like the only other dragon/rider bond i was so looking forward to was sheepstealer/nettles#that is just completely taken from us#i'm so anxious about how they'll ruin eggfyre tho#because knowing condumb i wouldn't put it past him to be immensely fucking uncharitable to aegon's grief when he finally does lose him#i already saw someone dunking on aegon for the line(TM)#and i'm like man...#i have a lot of thoughts but can we please remember that he's 1) speaking to his council#only decides he needs a dragon after he's told morning hatched for rhaena#2) says new sunfyre in response to borros saying 'how about silverwing' sunfyre is the fucking standard#ALSO SAME FUCKING CLOWN SHITS ON EGGFYRE TO SAY ITS AKSHUALLY DAN Y DRO GON#i know you have read the same books#he is disobedient as fuck despite her being mommy#do not compare. she may get there maybe but she sure as hell ain't there yet#hotd spoilers#fire and blood#just in case whatever
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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OKAY MY NEWFOUND AGENT BISHOP TMNT AUDIENCE. ANY THOUGHTS ON WHY THERE ARE
two of them?????
#or at least why he had time to change his jacket to a coat in the middle of a fucking invasion.#dude's got his priorities when it comes to actual alien threat knocking on earth's door in every iteration huh#anyway my theory: those are 2 diff bishops. one may be a clone. the 1st one references 2012 version more while the 2nd is straight up 03#so i think there is smth up with that. also 1st one's face is catlike like in ff. and both ff and 12 are good bishops! im onto something!#also the headphones but s4 bishop03 battle armor look also had them i think#anyway the person on rise team who saw an alien invasion story and decided to insert not 1 but 2 bishop cameos in there is a genius.#like i feel this decision on every level. there are not enough xenophobic (or not so) fuckers out there.#i expected his cameo ever since i read the synopsis (tho also on the future part bc ff rent free in my head) and i was Not Disappointed.#you do not want to know the level of insanity i instantly reached when i first saw rise movie and got to the second one.#hell im still not over the fact they gave him WORDS#fucking printing those on a tshirt cause THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE WIN#agent bishop#agent john bishop#tmnt bishop#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt the movie
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tonight we watched episodes 5 and 6: she has changed her tune on silver, instead repeatedly saying "he is such a character" from various angles whenever he is on screen. loves how fake he behaves and the fact that there's nothing behind it but the ability to be really good at being fake. INCREDIBLY busted up over billy but also said 'you wouldn't talk about how much you love these episodes if he had actually died' . prescient of her. for the first time i noticed a part of the bryson/guthrie betrayal that i never had before, which makes mr scott's presence in the hold make more sense. ella very stymied and upset over scott's tangled web of loyalties, and all i could tell her was that he has more interests on the islands than eleanor and that all would become clear in time. watching this time i thought about his cold-blooded arithmetic in refusing so many times to help emi and the other captives, weighing the lessened chance of his family's discovery against his potentially lifelong enslavement. and then helping her anyway because she reminds him, probably, too much of his daughter.
#^ all of which i could NOT talk about bc ella hasn't met his family yet and i can't spoil that#so i'm talking about it here#black sails#incredibly upsetting episodes to watch that i would not recommend if you do not want to spend time with the atlantic slave trade#even in an episode where they get - if not back home - then at the very least less endangered . but good episodes in the writing sense#just...too much at times even on a third or fifth viewing#like. on recommendations i often tell people to read the synopsis first. then decide#when he says we wouldn't ALL find a place on nassau. pirates trade slaves too (even though he's always spiriting them away first)#and she says you can't make that choice unilaterally for all of us. not when we want to fight so badly.#and he says oh this has nothing to do with you#and it does and it doesn't. it has everything to do with her in that they have a common background and trauma#it has nothing to do with her in that he's already chosen who his survivors will be . and he can't risk their safety on someone new#post-baru reading i am finding new angles on him than ever before. incredible man.
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🥀💌🕯️💀 <33
*old person yells at cloud* THEORY TIME <3 but i was thinking of the skill trees screens we’ve seen so far and i am like…… super certain that ingellvar is the mourners surname and soo that calls for an update to irulannes pin interest board <33
(ill cry change it if it isn’t though but hehe anyway im stoked to at last have a surname for when i save her edits bc rn her folder says i.datv xixjjxhx *WHEEZE* 💀)
#leg.txt#it fits so well it fits so welllll irulanne ingellvar you’ll always be loved by MEEE#the icon looks suuuper like some of the dead in the necropolis in one of the concept arts so i am thinking its them??#thinking about her story a lot lately I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN SOO BAD 🥀🤧#im thinking she was found by the sisters raised up right adopted a surname (mayb from a mentor or ‘mother’ of sorts??)#raised up as she was to be arcane advisor/mistress mother to a mage heir bc they want a mage on a throne one way or another or both etc etc#like i mean that could make sense for her i think?? its not TECHNICALLY her name yk iru didn’t actually have a first name either#its what they gave her? AT LEAST THATS WHAT SHE WAS TOLD bc hehe the blood magic in the ritual#did a wee more than just what’s happening now from what happened in the trailer hehe#it also lifted a wee little spell they did on her that wiped all of her memories from before she met the sisters 🥀👁️#there may be some vengeance from robbing her of her life she may drag her lovie l*ucanis on who’s to say HEHE#something something she had her own kingdom already as she was a sort of spymaster w/ the dead using deceased birds to watch for hot gossip#a prodigy at a young age she was <3 she may have been an advisor anyway even without the sisters influence yk#ughh i want to develop the sisters and irulannes pre v*eilguard lore soooo bad now EEEK.#i am getting my wisdom teeth out next week so i think it’ll be the prime time to do that i think 🥀💌#anyway time to finish those asks ughh they’re the funnest as always if you read all of this moots i am baking you cookies <3#i think word is that thorne is the wardens and it does look like it i would say too?#i think for cassia she had to have got that from someone maybe to hide her identity or something#she’s either the result of a princess of the a*nderfels having a tryst with n*athaniel or l*oghain i haven’t decided 🥀👁️
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ok i think lamento should be awarded with the prize of worst lube in fiction
#spoilers for bardos route#ok so they were in heat and bc this is bl there arent many women around and heat dulls your pain receptors which is to say you cou#could hit it raw#and so far theyve been just doing the classic yaoi of pretending precum is lube which whatever im not reading this for realism#anyways. bardo. first of all they were in the kitchen which. do you have to.#i know its a whole thing a lot of ppl are into but thats the kitchen. thats for making food. no self respecting#cook has sex in their kitchen#anyways konoe was being a brat and knocked something off of a shelf#which. bardo decided to use.#do you want to know what it was.#honey.#yeah.#they were all ''oohh its melting with the heat which makes it slippery'' ok whatever it was flower honey specifically but#i do not think it works like that#+ it looked piss colored in one cg#0/5 stars#at least now were back to getting more lore and backstory which i always love#but man fucking bardo. mean old man who loves to affectionally bully ppl and uses a fucking stick to fight#i dont mean a quarterstaff or any other sort of a fighting stick but. firewood#from the ground#ok mr someones uncle bullying people half his age using sticks to fight ppl and honey as lube#i hate that guy (<- said with love)#lamento spoilers#leevi liveblogs
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how deal with taidan
#^ crying over saki for the second night in a row#i am Not Okay about the fact her taidan is exactly a year after her pb footage aired on sky stage#bc that was the very last thing where i was like ok yeah maybe saki IS my second fave of all time#feels weird to call her my second fave#shes like basically on par w aasa 😭 idk how else to word itjfhd#idk not the point i am just emotional and sad and will miss her dearly#but also wishing her luck in whatever she decides to do next whether that be in the public eye or not#also just feel so sad about how busy ive been recently 😭😭#was planning on going back and watching all her shinkos and leads that i havent watched yet before the 13th but uni hit me like a truck#and i have not have time 😔#have not had *#sorry if you are reading this 🙏 it is not coherent 🙏🙏 fjdhdjd#idk i was torn up enough over kiwa and this is about to be 4000x worse sofhdhdjd#did watch every sakigumi show in order a while ago w my gf and that was nice at least#idk man im excited for aasas run im sure itll be great im just so not ready to say bye to sakigumi#god if youd have told me when i first got into zuka i would be this torn up over saki leaving i would not have believed you#but here we are#at no point was i expecting to get This Attached to saki but it just kind of happened#aasas fault whatever#fjhdjdhd#sorry none of fhis is coherent i do not know how to organise or articulate my thoughts#idk i love s4kiaasa so much#getting to watch them together both on and off stage for the last two and a half years ish since i got into zuka has meant so much to me#i hope they both continue to thrive and i look forward to seeing what they do next
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i NEED to get back into writing but it's so hard and im being so brave about it😭
#i have so many tabs open i keep changing my mind about what i should write#ive just been fucking around on my laptop for like an hour idk what im doing#at first i was like well i could just warm up with some random prompts. but then i was like thats not motivating enough rn#so i was like okay i'll work on memory wip. but i don't have an outline and i've only written a little bit of the first draft#so i don't know what's going to happen which means i'd have to Think. and also read through my notes bc i don't remember what i've decided#abt the characters and worldbuilding#but like. i just cant be bothered to do that😭#so you see the issue is laziness#i guess i should just use a simple prompt at first even tho i dont feel like it just to get over the hurdle#at least i'll have written something....#speaking it into existence I CAN WRITE REGULARLY IF I CHOOSE TO!!!#I'll need the outlet when I start my new job in august im so fucking nervous#i'll need something to keep me sane😭#and i want to actually be able to finish the projects i start! at least finish a single draft! i've done it before i can do it again!#vee.txt
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Whines bc im a few hours into my sleep and I'm not so nauseous now but my limbs...! My limbs, they ache...!!! And it's just all of them, the bone aches in all of them, so I feel like Peter Griffin Death Pose in this bed tonight
#speculation nation#sometimes the chronic pain decides Fuck You especially#i always have some measure of pain but sometimes it decides to flare in Multiple limbs. and it's never fun.#just laying here with pain radiating out of my limbs in a slow steady pulse#*why* dont i have a fibromyalgia disgnosis yet...? bc my fuckin liver readings were off & im waiting for a february GI appointment...?#would my Fucking liver make my limbs all hurt for no goddamn reason in their Bones?????#like i know my doctor is just trying to do her due diligence and if i have a liver problem that can explain the fatigue.#but idk man it's way more than just fatigue. and it's the fact that i have to wait until *february* before the GI appointment#that really gets to me.#if it was sooner id care less. like yeah lets cover our bases yeah. but i have to wait five Fucking months before i even have the Chance#to get a fibromyalgia disgnosis (and hopefully Treatment after)#and in the meantime my limbs will continue to Ache and Ache and Ache...#ive. lived with it up to this point. i can continue to live with it. as yes. this is just the rest of my life.#but god damn itd fucking be nice if i could get some Help for it ykno?#they cant rly change the chronic pain aside from pain relievers. which i dont wanna be too dependent on anyways#but just. idfk theres gotta be Something. some kind of treatment!!! massages?!? i dont know!!!!#i just know my limbs hurt and i have to wait At Least 5 months for a diagnosis (& even then it's not assured)#and it's just. so frustrating. i really hate our healthcare industry.#negative/
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I really cannot believe that there are so many dbd players who are more enamoured with david, shittorio, or god forbid FELIX, than gabriel. gabriel is the most handsome man in dbd. there isn't even any competition. he's gorgeous, the very picture of a dashing sci-fi hero. I can somewhat forgive people obsessing over david, since he's been in the game forever, like dwight, and people develop attachments. but it's the whole-damned fruit salad to pretend that he, or the two none pizza with left beef bozos listed, are even remotely as hot or cool as gabriel. gabriel's "actually a clone" lore is fucking awesome and super creepy. great criticism of capitalism/humans playing god too, just like the whole chapter is. he's a total badass and the sole survivor of an attack carried out by a violent, terminator-like AI gone rogue. literally a final boy. I would play an entire video game just about him and his adventures on dvarka, if bhvr made one.
#dbd#thoughts about media#planning out some art and deciding what survivors to include.#obviously I choose my favourites First.#so steve. gabe. claudette for suresies.#try to include yui. elodie. haddie. zarina. adam. and yun jin as often as I can as well.#oh! and renato and thalita. although I do like renato a wee bit more because hot guy + easy to read as autistic.#not sure if it's ever mentioned anywhere if the implications are intentional like they are with claudette.#if I'm allowing myself more than one licensed suvivor-- carlos. and/or nancy. I need to draw ada some time too bc I also love her.#no hate to a lot of the other licensed characters to be clear-- I just don't know a lot about most of them.#I do try to include at least one or two characters I've never drawn before. but those don't Have to be survivors.#I am a killer main after all. be that in game or when I draw.#you better believe I am Not going to be drawing felix or shittorio.#even if the latter fits the theme of this piece I am planning.#the day you see me draw one of them-- you will know I received a commission to do so.
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mgsv has so many literary references to books i have essays abt it kind of makes me.
#i'm sick this is my slightly fever-induced thought stream in the rest of the tags sorry ->#all the 1984 stuff is really interesting. the position of both ocelot and kaz as the people running room 101 is really fascinating.#because it somehow manages to place huey in the position of winston while also having venom be in the position of winston.#<- would that make quiet julia? actually yes it does bc of her nature motifs.#and the whole game seems to doublethink of whats real and what isn't. though it starts to tell you what isn't real its still there.#and then with moby dick you have pequod which is just. the ship. and queegueg who is ishmaels friend. which is why its kind of perfect he i#the other pilot we see who takes kaz places. and theres other stuff with him but i don't want to get into that. i could go on for a while.#but whats interesting is that ahab seems to apply more to kaz than it does to venom. esp because his own deception results in his downfall.#whereas that isn't true with venom if youve played mg1 he just kinda keeps going with it to at least some degree.#and i guess kaz is working for foxhound but you know what i mean.#ocelot even being the perfect counterpart to starbuck who works at kaz's side but disagrees with his methods to an extreme.#he isn't of the same morals as starbuck but its just the oppositional character type.#does that mean cipher is moby dick. yes actually bc of the leg thing with kaz. oh my god.#<- funny enough i am actually getting moby dick back out of the library bc i never finished it and its been ages since i read what i did.#i remember the narration being kind of nuts.#honestly the lord of the flies stuff feels less like a reference and more like eli read that book and decided he wanted to do it irl. lol.#i can't say these books are even close to being favorites but i'm intimately familiar with both 1984 and lotf so those are. those.#and moby dick is genuinely just kind of. what in the hell did i experience. theres a lot to unpack.#and i didn't even finish the damn thing.#ok i'm done now i just needed to get that out of my system. now i'm off to read veniss underground. 👍#.txt
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been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying
#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#Everything Stays#writing stuff#i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic#there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good#the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand#i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun#but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader#can’t decide which i like more#god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head#next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao#and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts…#Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude#‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!!#picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God#‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down#‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!!#anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations!#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)#(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’#‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’#like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for-#like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon#‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’#‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’#*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters#anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many#gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced#even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another
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2023 reads // twitter thread
If I See You Again Tomorrow
YA contemporary/light sci-fi
follows a boy almost a year into a time loop, who has almost given up on finding a way out
until a new boy shows up at his school - which has never happened before - and he’s motivated to step out of his monotony and maybe find a way out
exploring loneliness and social isolation
#If I See You Again Tomorrow#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#ok i enjoyed some aspects of this like the MCs personal journey and mental health stuff i guess. friendships.#but the romance was annoying and unnecesary. not just my bitter aro ass saying this a lot of other reviews do too lol#the love interest is convinced that you have to find your soulmate to get out of the time loop for no logical reason??? & the MC (and me) is#like what the fuck man that’s stupid.#but then also he’s like we can’t hang out; you just think you Like me because we’re both in this time loop; focus on finding your soulmate!!#LIKE WHO CARES ABOUT CRUSHES?#YOU’RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THIS TIME LOOP WHY WOULD YOU NOT WORK TOGETHER TO FIGURE IT OUT……….#this is more me being frustrated at the character than the author but i feel like. the author could have thought of some better reasons for#him to avoid the mc i guess lol. or at least lampshade the stupidity#it……sort of ends up being soulmatey anyway#or at least he decides they in love anyway but lol u guys spent one day together then didn't see each other for 2 months or whatever???#so the end was definitely disappointing#I think it would have been way better if he did all his friend and family goodbyes then went to the place#and nothing happened and it turned out that after 365 days you just. pop out of it; problem never ‘’solved’’.#but then he goes to find beau anyway and they start something on their own terms#(bc like getting ‘trapped forever’ after a year would mean there’s instances of two people disappearing forever at the same time - they have#no proof for that either? I guess they would also have instances of people saying they did just get out of it after a year too but. well may#be if that happens you have amnesia. which wouldn’t work for this book. but anyway)#idk#also him hating his mum made me cringe because that was Obvious. i feel like a little more time could have been spent on that#and like i did enjoy it overall for the majority of it that wasn't the romantic thing! it could have been so good if it removed that#and gave everything else its full focus
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