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#or a problem with ACCEPTING answers i don't like
slaying-rxna · 1 day
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Hello again, Rina! It's still me. I hope you passed your exams successfully and I think your writing is quite good, but I'd recommend you to use synonyms to avoid unnecessary repetitions. And I also want to ask you to write about Kinich and fem!reader getting caught in the rain, but instead of returning to the shelter, fem!reader starts dancing with him.
Dancing with the rain
➳Genre:Fluff
➳Trope:Kinich x fem!reader
➳Warnings:Idk just some pure cute fluff
➳Might be Ooc, I HC that Kinich hates the rain, might contain grammar mistakes
➳Word count:0.8k
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People would view Kinich as unkind or cold. Yet you beg to differ when you know how kind he actually is, yet his companion isn't. Ajaw is quite an insufferable menace even you can tell. Yet the two of them are quite a good duo, one is silent as space while the other is much noisier than the screams of a thousand people.
So you were more than happy that Ajaw kept his mouth shut when the rain had its downpour during one of your outdoor date into the mountains. Knowing that he would just insult both of you for this supposed 'horrible' weather, but it's quite surprising that a rain would befall to natlan, managing to experience a downpour was very rare “I apologize, I should've known it would rain”
“Come, let's seek shel-” he attempted to walk keep you away from the rain yet he noticed that you only stared into the sky. The rain was violent, the sound of pitter-patter was loud. Not to mention both your shoes are wet. Yet with your smile you made the rain a placid downpour, a state of tranquility.
The kind man only gazed through you, never looking so surprised as he did now you looked perfect yet never had he expected that you would enjoy the rain. “Don't apologize” Your voice seeped through. Although both of you were quite drenched within the range of the stream, the couple could only stay in its place. Despite Kinich not liking the rain he still remained in his position with you. He could never leave you alone.
Noticing a smile from your lips Kinich stared at you with his greenish-yellow eyes “Do you like the rain?” Kinich questioned you, although he knows the answer that will come off from your mouth.
“I don't like the rain…I love the rain” you responded to his question. A gentle smile etched into your face. While Kinich stared at you, looking so happy. “How about you?”
Returning his question, looking at him with hopeful eyes. He hates the rain, the way it would wet his clothes was annoying how could you even ask him tha- “I like the rain too”
Chuckling at his answer, you reached out your arms inviting him. “Would you like to dance then?”
“A dance?” Kinich heard that couples would sometimes go out and enjoy the rain by dancing. Kinich can dance, although you've never seen him before Mualani had a conversation with you regarding dancing. While she said that he's very good at it.
Kinich gently accepted your offer by holding your inviting arms. As both of your hands unite, you're the one that started slowly. Stepping back with your right foot the two of you danced along the raging downpour. Although the chances of getting sick were absurdly high, you managed to seek comfort within its range.
Moving along with each flow, you looked like a divine angel under Kinich’s view. The way your body went along elegantly within each second. Although Kinich didn't show it through his face, he was more than happy to be with you.
Perhaps the rain didn't ruin your date, if anything it brought luck perhaps the two of you should start a rain date. Even if he came to hate the rain, if you're in it he can love it. Continuing the slow dance both the couple were happy. Twirling around him a flow of happiness washed through you, the rain slowly calmed down as if following the flow of your dance.
Following the climax, you came to forget all of your problems. The rain had never been more beautiful with him. His hair was quite messy yet he looked pretty handsome, like this.
As the dance came through an end, the wave of happiness was replaced with tiredness seeping through. Kinich brushed through your soaked hair “I never knew you can dance so elegantly, my angel” the man complimented you as the rain had come to an end.
While the rain finally ended, Kinich immediately suggested going back home since it was getting quite dark, and that the two of you could change your wet clothes. You agreed to his suggestions as your every walk made a droplet fall through the ground.
Reaching through the doors, Kinich instantly went inside first and grabbed a towel for you. As a small smile appeared into your tired body. Finishing your quick change, the first scent that greeted you was the smell of warm choco milk.
“Here, I figured you might get cold after experiencing such a heavy downfall” He spoke with such a gentle and worried voice. “Thank you, dear.” You grabbed the mug drinking the warm choco. It was hot yet not enough to cause a burn in your tongue. It wasn't too sweet either.
A beam of appreciation was shown into your smile, minding your own business, while he could only look at you lovingly. They say nobody was perfect, he believed it until he met you. He wouldn't mind embracing the things he loathed as long as he was with you.
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Small note:Hello again ^^ thank you for your request alongside your suggestion, however it may appear again in the future as English isn't really my first language but I will try my best ^^. Apologies it came out quite late than I expected. But I hope you guys like this small drabble. My small brain ran out of ideas in the end.
Please do not translate or copy my work.
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glikeriya-narkevich · 10 hours
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I apologize in advance for possible grammatical errors. My native language is not English. My text is very very long. I will be glad to like-minded people, because I am so much disappointed with the DLC and I needed to speak out here on my personal blog.
I really wanted to see Bi-Han's redemption arc, but instead I got an aggravation of Bi-Han's gloomy state. I saw Bi-Han accept his new identity in the form of Noob Saibot. There was no change in Bi-Han's mind after what he forcibly experienced (the transformation into Noob Saibot). Everything I saw was a huge disappointment for me, because I adore Bi-Han as a character, and I never wanted to see him as a stupid, clichéd villain, as the writers made him in the DLC. Bi-Han has always been a neutral character with a penchant for atoning for sins, so to speak, if we turn to the MK classics. But I'm still hoping that in future story additions, Liu Kang will still be able to return Bi-Han to his former state by healing him from chaos magic. I haven't given up hope of seeing Bi-Han as Sub-Zero, even if this hope is small and naive. I hope to see Bi-Han's change of mind, his reflection on the past, and credible motivations for his actions.
Now I'd like to write why I don't like Sektor so much.
The shortest answer is: because she's acting stupid. Taking Bi-Han out of the Temple of Elements is like taking a person with a severe traumatic brain injury out of the hospital, thus depriving him of the necessary life-saving treatment. Sektor says to Noob Saibot in one of the Intro Dialogues, „I couldn't leave you locked away in the Temple.“ This sounds just like saying to a sick person, „I couldn't let the doctors treat you, so I took you home, but I have no idea how to cure you myself“. Sektor's ego is enormous!
To me, it all sounds like a dialogue between two people:
She: I'm looking for a cure for your terrible disease, dear.
He: No, honey, I'm not going to be treated. My terrible disease gives me advantages.
She: But the doctor says your terrible disease will kill you!
He: I don't want the doctor to treat me.
She: All right, darling, let it be your way.
And if Sektor thought that Liu Kang had left Bi-Han to rot in the Temple of elements after she personally saw that Liu Kang had healed Bi-Han's mind and said that he would look for a way to heal Bi-Han's body as well, then Sekctor is doubly stupid because she can't assimilate simple information and think logically. Liu Kang himself doesn't know exactly how to heal Bi-Han and how long it will take, so how would Sektor know this in that case? Bi-Han's responses to her words are my main disappointment. He wants to be Noob Saibot when he says in one of the Intro Dialogues, „I do not want Liu Kang to cure me“. Noob Saibot also approved of Sektor's act when she kidnapped him from the Temple of Elements, „You were right to be impatient“.
I don't see any love for Bi-Han in Sektor. I see a blind passion for him. She tells Noob Saibot in one of the Intro Dialogues, „Is it best for you to remain this way?“ These are the words of an obsessed fanatic, not a loving woman. Asking such a question is like asking an alcoholic, „Is it a good thing if you stay an alcoholic?“. Sektor doesn't see the black abyss into which Bi-Han is slowly sinking. She does not save him, but supports the evil in him, thus cultivating the blackness in Bi-Han's soul. After all, Liu Kang tells Noob Saibot, „Continue, Bi-Han, and it will not end well for you“. In this case, Liu Kang is showing concern for Bi-Han's soul, but Sektor is not. Liu Kang continues to believe in Bi-Han and warns him. And Sektor doesn't see the problem because she is blind, she herself is threatened by darkness.
The way Bi-Han doesn't listen to Sektor and roughly rips his hand out of her grasp when she tries to stop him from attacking Liu Kang suggests that her passion for Bi-Han means little to him, because he's not ready to listen to her in moments of intense emotional upheaval. He's not ready to stop and give up on some "feverish" action. I think Bi-Han is obsessed with Lin Kuei first and foremost, and Sektor is more of a tool for him to achieve his personal goals than his lover. The only, I emphasize, the only scene that shows some kind of mutual warmth between them, ended up going nowhere. Bi-Han wants to be Noob Saibot, he thinks of his goals first, and Sektor is always ready to support any of Bi-Han's ideas. What gives us this moment of warmth when they touched foreheads for a couple of seconds? Absolutely nothing.
I really dislike Sektor because she helps Bi-Han perish, and doesn't slow down his fall into darkness. I don't see why I can sympathize with her. But Sektor is not a good character either, it was not worth waiting for noble deeds from her. From the Intro Dialogues between Scorpion and Geras, as well as between Smoke and Geras, there is a hint that Tomas will die in the future and will be forcibly turned into a cyborg. Who's going to do this to him? I have no doubt that Sektor will do it. How can such a person help Bi-Han see any light? It's impossible. They are mutually corrupting each other.
From the Intro Dialogues we already know that she has made mechanical monsters and is eager to try them out. And the cybernetic armor is just the beginning, and most likely we're in for a classic violent cybernization ahead. How can Sektor help Bi-Han if she's blinded by her own ego? Sektor is not Harumi. My deep conviction is that Bi-Han should have a woman who truly loves him and is wise, such as Harumi, but not the obsessed Sektor, whose love for Bi-Han blinds her, as Cyrax correctly pointed out. Sektor doesn't confront the darkness within Bi-Han because Sektor is blind in her fanaticism towards Bi-Han. She doesn't see this darkness because she is most likely filled with the exact same darkness herself.
Love is not only support, sometimes it is a strong confrontation in the name of saving a life.
I believe that Bi-Han needs a woman with a light within. He needs someone who is the opposite of darkness, then his eyes might be able to see at least some path that could be called different than the one he's already on. Yes, at first Sektor is obsessed with healing Bi-Han, but at the same time, she doesn't want to give Noob Saibot to Liu Kang. She ended up agreeing completely that Noob Saibot himself didn't want healing for himself. Sektor, girl, is there anything you can say against him? For his own good! His soul and life in a normal body and in a normal state is at stake. Metaphorically speaking, Sektor can't sober up Bi-Han because she's drunk herself. 
And all of this is because neither Bi-Han nor Sektor see Noob Saibot's condition as something bad. Yes, I'd like to see a woman save Bi-Han from the darkness, rather than going crazy with him, sinking deeper and deeper into that darkness. Bi-Han could have been a neutral character who could be understood, condemned and justified at the same time, but in the end he became a clichéd villain with boring motivation. A villain without a ray of light within him is dull, boring and uninteresting. A hero without islands of inner darkness is just as boring and uninteresting. But that's exactly what they made Bi-Han in the DLC — a boring and uninteresting villain. At least some hope is given to me by dialogues between Noob Saibot and Bi-Han, in which Bi-Han clearly doesn't accept Noob and is hostile to him.
The second bitter disappointment that befell me was in regards to Kuai Liang. He is shown to be a disgusting person, he is shown to be a hypocrite in this DLC. All the things that Kuai Liang condemned his brother for, now he does himself, such as reveling in power over another, weaker one (poor Cyrax). It is already known from the Intro Dialogue between Cyrax and Noob Saibot that Kuai Liang had a romantic past with Cyrax. Kuai Liang did a doubly despicable thing when he silently disappeared from Lin Kuei and then married another woman. How could he silently disappear without saying anything to his former lover, whom he knows Bi-Han will definitely deceive? And after that, he dares to condemn Cyrax and is even ready to behead her with a katana? Kuai Liang doesn't notice his own sins, but is sure to denounce others. Yes, he had every right to be angry, but still he is the second rightful heir in Lin Kuei, and he didn't do anything when he could have influenced the situation in Lin Kuei, at the very least he could have told everyone about what happened between him and Bi-Han, thus denying Bi-Han the opportunity to lie to his warriors in the future.
Cyrax is too submissive to Kuai Liang. She has every moral right to throw all of Kuai Liang's grievances in his face. She tried to do that, but she gave up very quickly, I'd say she shut up in front of Kuai Liang. I don't understand how she could ask to join his clan after treating her like that? She saved his life, that alone should have been enough to make Kuai Liang turn on his brain. Cyrax had fully redeemed herself from him! But he was being terribly ungrateful and arrogant. Watching Cyrax's self-deprecation in front of a man who wasn't worthy of such submission was very unpleasant to me. Kuai Liang is not a counterbalance to Bi-Han, he is the other side of the same grim coin. Bi-Han and Kuai Liang are worthy of each other.
But in the Kuai Liang/Harumi pair, there is a voice of reason in the person of Harumi, and Kuai Liang is still able to listen to both Liu Kang and Harumi. And there is no voice of reason in the Bi-Han/Sektor pair. Bi-Han doesn't listen to Sektor in critical situations, for the most part she's his tool and fanatical assistant, perhaps a loyal and constant servant. I don't see a strong mutual affection on Bi-Han's part for Sektor. It seems to me that he's more of someone who feels good about being loved and he allows her to love him. Sektor is willing to accept anything from Bi-Han and she can't confront his inner darkness, because Sektor doesn't see a problem with Bi-Han's soul. So spiritually they will both die sooner or later if they don't listen to Liu Kang. A confrontation between them after what Bi-Han went through would have seemed more logical and interesting.
Bi-Han in this DLC turned out to be an absolutely empty character, in which I saw nothing but a thirst for power, fame, strength, dominance and control. And all these things are defamation of the character by the writers, because we have the original Bi-Han, who has never been so empty and one-sided. Even in the first part of Mortal Kombat 1, Bi-Han was an interesting and deep character, despite the widespread hatred against him. There are plenty of awesome and well-reasoned analyses of his personality here on Tumblr that just prove it. In the "Khaos Reigns", Bi-Han is simply buried as a character. There is simply no conflict in the story of the fall of his personality.
Dude, you've been turned into a black monster against your will. Your mind is being healed, you wake up in this new body, and what? No shock? I'd understand if Bi-Han had asked Havik himself to make him Noob Saibot, but the transformation was done through torture and violence. How could Bi-Han end up being okay with who he has become? I just don't believe it.
P.S. I still adore Bi-Han. Even this DLC won't make me stop loving him. Almost 30 years of my life in the fandom can't be crossed out by this terrible DLC and imposing romance on players, for which Cyrax and Sektor changed their gender. I wish Liu Kang had somehow miraculously gotten his Kitana back if the writers wanted to add romance so badly. I felt like I was reading a bad fanfic rather than watching the official DLC. That's how this DLC will remain for me — a bad fanfic about my favorite characters. I can't and won't accept this DLC as canon. Thank God, no one can take that right away from me.
P.P.S. The screen time of Tomas, who I also love dearly, was criminally small, and after all, he's one of the three brothers, not some NPC...
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wellnoe · 2 months
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i do sometimes want to turn every conversation in the world into a yes or no question but then i do worry that, in the hypothetical world where i have done that, i would still find a way to be unclear about the certainty of the answer.
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iraprince · 7 months
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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cluescorner · 7 months
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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:
Steph (25):
Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)
Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)
Her worst trait really is her spitefulness
Cass (26)
Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.) 
Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness. 
Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)
Tim (24)
Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)
Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)
His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)
Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)
Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this). 
Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)
His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)
Dick (17) 
Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)
Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)
His worst trait actually is his anger issues.
Barbara (18)
Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)  
Thinks her worst trait is her disability 
Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)
Damian (16)
Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)
Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism 
His worst trait actually is his perfectionism
Duke (16)
Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)
Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)
His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words
Jason (14)
Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne). 
Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)
His worst trait actually is his reactiveness
#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#tim drake#dick grayson#barbara gordon#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#batfamily#randomizedrobinsau#I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot#because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with#so I don't think I'm gonna#anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability#the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the#stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU#I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version#I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is#BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR#I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles#the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when#I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'
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dylanlila · 4 months
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i cried SO MUCH and i am still crying, but i was in irl house's office today 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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butchlifeguard · 4 months
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i would love to do a really long essay about food conspiracies and fatphobia
#the conspiracies are so easy to arrive at because those engaging in the conspiracy don't accept that the burden of proof is on them#see that one tiktok where someone was like 'i was told i was gluten intolerant in the usa and when i got to europe and tried bread there...#... my 'gluten intolerance' disappeared 🙄 because of pesticides and chemicals in the usa'#when the answer is just that europe has different wheat#ultimately this is pretty innocuous but the 'they're trying to make us fat I Mean Unhealthy' narrative#is so fucking rampant and just serves to give social media users righteous anger against something that isn't a real problem.#while at the same time the us government and corporations are actually doing way worse shit?#we're getting concrete evidence of the extreme price gouging that chains have been engaging in for the past 4 or 5 years#but user1294042569 is pissed because there's gmos in lunchables#same narrative as 'ooohgsbfghh usa portion sizes are so BIG' yes because of the great depression.#like literally its just that more food for less money is seen as more desirable especially when money is tight#and it became seen as a distinctly usamerican thing as the usa was building its own image and trying to prosper after the great depression#finally every one of these narratives has an undercurrent of 'this is why people are sooo fat'#usually from people who don't know what the main cause of fatness is (fucking genetics)#and actively fear fatness because of. idk theres a multi billion dollar diet industry that i remember seeing ads for in kindergarten#please let me make this video essay aughhhh#< i dont need permission i just need motivation which is not happening any time ever
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rubberbandballqueen · 7 months
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i just think that as a chemistry major i shouldn't be forced to take biology classes that expect me to memorize the everything to pass. i need some kind of "biology for chemistry majors" where they emphasize the techniques a living thing has at its disposal to remain at homeostasis and then look at how all these parts come together to form a complex living organism undergoing constant holistic processes to remain at equilibrium. i don't need to know what a golgi apparatus is called i just need to know how it serves its function in the complex process of transforming A into B
#had to google golgi apparatus just now to know what it does (process lipids n protiens apparently) i haven't been in a bio class since 2016#my classmates in o chem would usually conplain to me abt the bio classes forcing them to memorize a bunch of#species that fall under certain taxonomic classifications bc their specificities Would show up on the exam#n i'm just like. that is a horror show. why do i need to be able to id 36 types of mollusks.#i'm probably Also like this bc i haven't taken a bio class since 2016 unless you count high school physiology then 2018#the worm speaks#my thoughts on academia are pretty much always 'this sucks please let me test into the very specific credentials i want'#bc academia tends to assume that the things i wanna research are the things i wanna teach but that is actually untrue#mostly bc my fave parts of chemistry are the very foundational things n what i like abt teaching it is that you have to balance#accuracy with generality so that new students don't get totally lost in the details of it all or spend too much time focused on a niche#my interest in discussing w/experts mostly extends out to 'okay tell me the new findings. ooo cool i'll incorporate that'#'good luck with your problem tho' no interest in helping out with specifics. only interested in being able to communicate knowledge#the stuff i'd have more interest in discussing and researching lie more in the arts. i do love discussing a good symbolism#probably bc i can also accept that there's never really one exact answer! like what if i do a stem research and then im just Wrong.#art and the human condition on the other hand!! let's go let us gather the Contexts and then Discuss!!!
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shopcat · 2 years
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ik this is a dumb ask to send on christmas eve no less but my family is annoying and im tired and need an escape so im just gonna be a bitch for a little while: i hate how much the stddie fandom feminizes steve while simultaneously equating femininity to being small and soft and submissive both sexually and in general. like its rlly telling that none of these people want to explore what steve could find interesting and comfortable in being femme (even though he's pretty consistently traditionally masc throughout the show in how he chooses to dress and what his general interests are etc) they just want him to be The Girl in the relationship. its the same with how like 90% of the fandom decided out of nowhere that he's a bottom and must also be a sub bc steve, the most sexually confident and experienced main character outside of the actual adults, would absolutely be a stereotypical blushing virgin bottom and wouldn't want to be in charge of his own pleasure regardless of how he's physically getting it
no for sure i actually have seen this a lot with other charas but it's particularly off with steve specifically because of the way people go about it is just concerning 😭. i've actually said before in passing that ppl almost tend to treat steve somehow misogynistically which is CRAZY but it makes sense because like one of the roots of homophobia is misogyny and at the end of the day it's just homophobia!! i think people want to indulge in the idea of him being feminine and simply get carried away and it's clear that their idea of femininity is tied in pretty transparently with soft submissiveness. and while it's true that men don't typically GET to indulge in these aspects of their own masculinity and getting to take this typically very masc character who has shown aspects of nontoxic masculinity can be a thing that invites nuance scrubbing him down until he's this like pathetic little waif of a thing who creams his pants the second the big strong man (in this case eddie but i know this is 99% of what h*rringr*vers do too) comes along to tell him what to do is concerning at the very best.
being gender nonconforming in any particular way is a complex thing and i would ENCOURAGE!! people to want to explore it with kindness and NOT as a way to at the end of the day sexualise and bastardise it to the point of no return. steve IS pretty and he is my babygirl and i do like saying he's a mean girl and he giggles and tucks his hair behind his ear and even wears the tinted chapstick and put him in pink outfits and perfume honestly like 99% of what people do with this i tend to ENTHUSIASTICALLY agree with but it's pretty clear when they're doing it to genuinely explore these things and celebrating the dissection of gender nonconformity and sexuality which has traditionally and continues to be dismissed/a marginalised aspect of being outwardly, clockably lgbt and when they're doing it ingeniously because they think it's like hot. and like yeah totally it's literally so hot but omg have some tact.. the hottest thing in the world is a gnc bisexual/gay man so it's understandable that ppl let their brains melt a little but let's give nuance the floor here for a SECOND please...
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stonersolana · 1 year
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when you explain that you're looking for compassion and believing in the best in each other in a relationship and that you felt it was inappropriate to bring up how someone else's issues (they are unrelated to the problem) were worse and more valid than yours and that you have no right to be upset because you're the villain for things that they misunderstood you doing or just did themselves and blamed you for. they also accuse you of being codependent with your needs. so you try to repeat yourself on your expectations and boundaries in friendships (i will accept no less than someone at least putting in the effort or having the desire to have a healthy friendship) and that there was so much she did that i never asked for nor wanted but i accepted it because i didn't want to seem ungrateful so whatever codependency she felt we had must have been one sided because i explicitly remembered that i never made her responsible for my mental well-being, i did not actually like that she treated me like a child and i had been complaining about that for years in our friendship especially near the end of it. i was an adult and didn't appreciate being treated like a child. but i went along with it because i was willing to let her get away with it if that's what she felt she needed from our friendship. so i sent her a basic infographic about healthy relationships and how they work and noted that the things i had asked for were just basic healthy relationship things and that i have never at any point in our friendship wanted her to take care of me. i wanted us to be equals. she told me that she wasn't willing to put in that amount of effort for anyone and how her boyfriend is her family and her life and her purpose and how friends just weren't really a priority at all and they certainly never got close to the level of importance as her romantic relationship. like... she literally disagreed with treating people with basic respect because friendship wasn't worth that effort. so i told her i hope she heals that wound in her heart and that she can eventually move on from whatever caused it but that i refused to settle for less than a healthy friendship just because she doesn't know how to love anyone fully or put aside her pride. that i genuinely hope she heals and has a good life but to never contact me again because i don't care to see it. that whatever is going on with her that she's been running away from isn't my problem for her to project onto me. she doesn't get to assume my intentions or thoughts or feelings about anything when she never asked me once. but fine, she has every right to think whatever she wants about me regardless of how true it is because I'm not responsible for her feelings, especially not now and i would genuinely appreciate it if she never spoke to me again.
people in the thick of amanormativity who haven't deconstructed relationships with others who are strict monogamists are so fucking exhausting.
#sunbun speaks#thing 1#i had been basically asking the same thing over and over for like 2 days because she would talk around the question#and never actually answered it so i just kept asking in different more clarifying ways#and we eventually got to her admitting that she only saw me as a child and that she always felt responsible for my feelings#and that she felt like she always had to fix me because i was helpless#and how that was MY fault because how could i FORCE her to watch me fail or starve or die#like... unless i specifically ask you for help with a problem just assume i don't want help#i wasn't forcing her to watch anything. i withdrew and hid in my room for the most part and never asked for her charity#that she would later use to insult me#i have been saying for YEARS that i do NOT want someone to save me or protect me from shit#how i just want someone to be there to go 'yeah wow that sucked. okay lets brush the dust off and try again later.'#like she literally would just do shit that i never asked for or wanted then got mad at me for 'forcing' her to do it#and i had to act grateful or she would call me difficult#by the end of the conversation i honestly just felt burnt out and pity#i should have found a way to discourage her more or just not accept what she was doing#i thought at least some of the stuff she did came from genuine care for me so it was easier to accept the rest because i figured#that it came from a place of love#but nope#i was just a project she couldn't fix that she scrapped despite me never asking her to fix me#i don't care if this makes sense#my super feminist best friend turned into a self-righteous tradwife with little compassion for others and even less for me#and built up this person in her head of who i was without ever asking me about any of it#so i'm just a ball of emotions rn#also there was the lowkey ableism despite her claiming to be neurodivergent (her only previous claim is that she#'had some autistic traits' and 'none of it ever effected me enough to be a hindrance on her life'#so it kind of felt like she only mentioned it to discredit how much autism and add makes me struggle#then there's just the fact that she 'didn't care' that i needed a cane to walk until it wasn't fun anymore and there wasn't an upside#she feels very much like a conservative wearing the skin of a leftist#like she parrots shit about anti ableism while being ableist and using her own mental illness as a shield against criticism
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multishipper-baby · 1 year
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Thinking about soulmate AUs for my OCs because I'm in a romantic mood rn
#myocs#derek's soulmate is obviously seba so things are pretty straightforward there#I think their relationship would probably progress the same? they don't rush into things just because they're soulmates#they just enjoy their time together and form a sweet bond and fall in love <3#eze doesn't have a soulmate. he wonders for a while if that's because he's artificially created or because he's aro#then he mets gabri who's also aro and has two soulmates (one platonic and another queerplatonic)#so that answers his question somewhat. it stings a little that he doesn't have something most people have#but he tries not to let it get into his head#also yeah the twins are platonic soulmates. I headcanon most twins are like that because of twin bond and stuff#tristán unlike his sister doesn't have another soulmate of any type- and he's pretty bitter about that fact#it's something he shares with his mother! which makes it hurt even worse. rip tristán he can never get a w#the triplets meanwhile aren't soulmates actually. piper has always been bothered by that but luca and zach don't care#they're all very close anyway. they don't need some stuff destiny bullshit to make their bond special#I presume piper and luca have soulmates although for now I don't ship them with anyone. zach has at least three romantic soulmates#zachary has a lot of love in his little body and he's not afraid of sharing it lmao#ray meanwhile... it would depend on when he finds out about the soulmate bond due to the age gap#as long as he finds out once he's an adult there wouldn't be any problems though- at least not on his part#springtrap might worry about it however. might feel like it's coercive to date him when there's this destiny thing over their heads#so it takes a while for him to accept the idea of entering a relationship together and raymond accepts that#they are friends for a while. get to know each other well. figure out if this is really what they both want#eventually it does become romantic though <3 ray charms his way right into his heart like the little devil he is
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rogue one posting like attention everyone who didn't like all the characters or get why they did things: i Am better than you
#did not follow General Posting then or now. even if i did it would not be The Full Picture anyways#like sure seems overall rogue one is liked as it should be. saying starwars fans were tepid / mixed reactions abt it may also not be apt#like uhh maybe starwars fans in their twenties/thirties? and even then lol this is a lot of people#but the fact that there's Enough of w/e pattern of ''how can we like these characters though'' or ''how can i understand jyn''#like the answer is just Get Good....does one need to imagine someone is glup shitto's great uncle to accept character introductions or.#as discussed don't even know what the problems are w/jyn but i'll stan to pick up the slack. it's not hard#the least glimpses like what do you Mean it's unfathomable motivations why cassian didn't noscope dads mikkelspace...ffs#head in hands i have to do every last thing myself. it's not difficult!! what anyone's even talking about....#a helpful hint is one might just have to go along for some time without assuming you have all the info you need about a person#or certainly be ready to adjust it like ''oh but this seems contrary to other previous things'' like a) reconcile it & b) is it really?????#It's The Self Assurance lmfao like. Eye don't get to be hype abt a protagonist or always understand the motivations for things?#that's a tuesday. i Realize i may be missing things or w/e. but it's like regularass media criticism like the protagonist confused me#or when someone did something surprising i went ''i should not be surprised by anything'' sooo could've been better#YOU could've been better. *I* understand.#rogue one#and i mean i'm in alignment w/the evident consenses out here like overall [rogue one v good] is agreed [andor is like omg] is agreed#so i can like; know peace. & idc anyways lmfao it Could be my personal opinion#but in the cagematch smackdown of media analysis i will defeat the weak overconfident ''lol why'd anyone do any of that'' Pathetic.#suplexing or whatever like You're Nothing
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1nm2 · 10 months
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i don't like the full vision of mcu. i'd like to be able to work on my own concepts beginning from malekith and loki
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pearlymel · 3 months
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A duty— Capitano
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Synopsis: You were set to marry a fatui... Wait, is that a fucking harbinger?!
Wc: 3.3k
Warning(s): fem reader for this one, reader gets called "wife", Capitano is described to have dark blue eyes (i swear i did my research and they said yes to dark blue eyes), MDNI masturbation but no sex between them.
Notes: don't ask the reason why you are in an arranged marriage, my brain is fried. You can come up with your own reasons ! Wrote this with my eyes cursing at me to sleep so half not proofread. Part 2 is out here. Part 3 is out here!
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Tick tock.
You watched as the clock ticked louder than usual, cringing to yourself when the sound became unpleasant to you, it was ringing in your ears.
Even the fatui around you were like statue's, you considered for a minute to check if they were even alive and breathing.
The door then swinged opened, everyone's head suddenly lowering slightly which made you even more confused, but you mimicked their gestures nonetheless for respect.
Heavy footsteps echoed in the room, the sound only getting louder and heavier the closer it got you.
The steps finally stopped, and your glance up to see a big—no, giant man standing right infront of you. He seemed to be wearing a helmet to cover his face, long black hair that protrutes from the back of his helmet and over his shoulders, and the big coat that was full of fur draped around his shoulders.
You must say, he went all out with his appearance as a fatui.
"Are you perhaps..." You started, breaking the silence that hung think in the air, "... The person who I'm arranged to marry?" You finish off, tilting your head curiously.
He doesn't answer immediately, rather, he looks down at you, observing your features which makes you wipe your sweaty hands to your sides.
"Il Capitano," he finally spoke, a raspy voice, you noted. Capitano extended his arm out for you, and you willingly accepted it, giving it a gentle shake.
"Member of the fatui Harbingers."
His next words made your hand freeze. Did he just say Harbinger? Not even a normal fatui like you thought, but a whole harbinger. Standing right before you, and shaking your hand.
Well you were screwed because what the hell have you gotten yourself into.
You both were quiet now, staring at eachother that it's becoming almost painfully awkward.
"Your name?" He asks, letting your hand go and it's like you were snapped back to reality when you immediately blurt out your name.
He repeats your name like you were on his kill-off list, but that was just overthinking on your part.
"I'd like your company from now on." He announced, stepping a tad closer to you which made you hold in your breath.
"then i shall be at your company..." Giving him your best small smile, you bowed your head again.
•••
Your wedding basically consisted of a witness and marriage papers that needed your signature. You didn't even get the chance to wear a traditional wedding dress nor have a honeymoon, which you don't think is necessary for now since everything was going too fast for your liking.
And Marina, your new personal maid, has become your new friend in this big estate of Capitano's, teaching you everything you must and mustn't do. Kind of like a 101 guide on how to be a wife.
Ever since that day a two months ago, you have not done anything but cause trouble.
You wanted to go out? Well you need your husband's permission. You want to eat something? Ask Marina first and she'll whip it for you no problem, and no you're not allowed to cook by yourself. You bombarded Capitano with questions about himself, but his answers wouldn't be enough as they were about a word or a sentence long.
As boring as that is, this is your life now for... Archons know how long. But you remember it being temporary, if your memory did not fail you.
Capitano had returned back to the estate for the night, and for the first time, you greeted him at the front door with a smile, wishing you could see him smile back at you.
"My lord," you bow elegantly like how Marina taught you, speaking even softly like nothing ever happened a week ago, the fit you remember throwing at him, demanding an answer on why you couldn't do anything around.
The silence in the hallways was deafening, broken only by the clanking of his armor as he took a step closer to you, his towering figure cast an intimidating shadow upon you. "It is rare," he spoke in a blunt tone, "to see you this obedient." Capitano paused, his gaze scrutinizing your every move. "You have been behaving recently?"
You couldn't help but fidget with the hem of your clothes nervously like you have been caught, a nervous quiet laugh escaping your lips, "i believe I've always behaved."
Capitano let out a terse sigh at your answer, his eyes unflinching through the slits of his helmet. "To your luck," he muttered, "you have been... tolerable." The word 'tolerable' hung heavily in the air, making it clear that it was the most positive adjective he could summon about you.
"However," he added after a few moments, "you seem more compliant than usual today. This is an... interesting change." His tone was questioning, as if hinting that he was wary of your compliance, expecting a hidden scheme behind it.
"Shall we have dinner?" You change the topic, changing your position to stand by his side so that both of you could walk to the dining room together. Capitano nods curtly, acknowledging your suggestion. He allows you to approach, though there is a stiffness in his movements as he lets you stand by his side.
The two of you begin walking to the dining room, your husband's steps were heavy, and it was evident that he was still in his full armor, the sound of his footsteps filling the hall.
"You are not usually the one to suggest dinner," he commented, "I thought today was nice... Despite how i always fight you, forgive me." you mumble apologetically.
You become quiet when he doesn't answer back, your hands clasped infront of you instead.
You both soon reached the dining hall, now sat opposite eachother on the dining table, Capitano's gaze remained fixed upon you as you both sat across each other, the coldness in his eyes didn't waver as he observed you intently. The silence seemed to thicken as the only sound in the room was the clinking of silverware against the ceramic dinnerware.
"How was your trip?" You asked casually while stuffing some veggies in your mouth.
"The trip was... uneventful," he replied tersely, pausing briefly before continuing. "The usual Fatui business, nothing that concerns you, wife." His words were as biting as ever, indicating that he wasn't keen on discussing his business matters with you.
"nofing mfun?" You ask again with your mouth too full this time, "don't speak with your mouth full of food." You swallow your food down when you caught a glimpse of disappointment in his tone, maybe he was even frowning if you could see him behind his helmet.
"i will retire to my chambers after this," you place down the silverware on the tablecloth to reach for the glass of water next to you. Capitano doesn't answer, but he nods slowly in return.
•••
The world was still and the moon illuminated the grounds outside, casting a soft glow upon the landscape. You could hear the occasional sound of crickets and the whispered rustle of leaves, creating a peaceful atmosphere inside the expansive estate.
The minutes ticked by slowly, each one seemingly longer than the last as you anticipated Capitano's return this time. You fidgeted with the sheets, as you waited, you recalled Marina's words, a distant memory echoing in your head, "It is custom for a wife to wait for her husband to return before she retires to bed." You never did that, no. You would always sleep before he did and he would always wake up before you did. It was rare to even see him on your side of the bed, only sometimes when you would wake up from a sudden heavy weight shifting next to you.
Despite being married for quite some time, the connection between you two was still distant and cold. Capitano didn't seem to care for you on any emotional level, instead seeing you as a mere accessory to his life as a mighty Capitano of the Fatui Harbingers. A possession rather than a wife, you thought.
Capitano's steps echoed through the room as he stepped into your bedroom, his footsteps heavy and deliberate. He closed the door behind him with a thump, shutting out the outside world and isolating the two of you in the room.
He observed you quietly for a moment, "You're not in bed yet?"
"i was waiting for you."
"And why, pray tell, were you waiting for me?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Marina..." You mumble, standing up from the bed while looking away in a bit of embarrassment, "she taught me it was custom for a wife to wait for her husband."
Capitano seemed even more surprised upon hearing your answer, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Marina... I see," he said slowly, of her name sending a ripple of irritation through him. Capitano disliked Marina's influence on you and how she seethe mentioned to be teaching you things.
He strode closer to you, by now you were used to his presence that it would not make you involuntary step back, you instead wait for his next move.
Lifting his hand to take a few strands of your hair was the last thing you expected. The strands resting on his hand as he lifted it closer to his helmet, almost like a gesture of kissing your hair which made you blink rapidly.
"You don't have to," he whispered, his thumb gently caressing the strands, "don't have to listen to Marina or anyone. You may do your own thing in this estate. I just want you well taken care of and safe."
You think you may have just fallen in love with the man because... Why is your heart beating so fast that it could explode? Or wait, can he hear it?
Capitano then let go of your hair, walking past you as he started loosening the straps of his armor, "it is late," he muttered with a rasp, his hands working quickly to remove his armor. The sound of armor being unthreaded echoed through the room, punctuated by the clinks of metal.
Taking off his helmet next so casually made your eyebrows furrow and sit back on the bed with your head tilted to get a closer look at him.
His eyes were glowing dark blue, the most beautiful shade of blue you think you've ever seen. The prettiest face too despite his dark and intimidating aura.
"you're beautiful." You whispered in awe, though Capitano, who was half-way through removing his armor, paused for a moment as he heard your words. He wasn't expecting such a compliment from you. It was rare for you to praise him, preferring to defy him more often than not.
"Beautiful?" he repeated, his voice gruff, you noticed his expressions and tried to act cool, your fingers nervously scratching your neck out of habit when you get shy.
"You're beautiful too, my wife." This completely caught you off gaurd, but it doesn't stop you from smiling and laughing it off quietly.
"Goodnight." Your head rests on the pillow, and this time you face him in your sleep, and he makes the effort to mimick your gestures.
"Goodnight."
•••
"Marina, where is my wife?" That was the first thing he asked your personal maid the moment he arrived back from his mission. His head looking around rather than looking down directly at Marina.
"The lady should be at her chambers."
"She's not."
"What?" Poor Marina's eyes widened, she was sure she just gave you a basket of fruits and snacks in your room, even asking you if you needed anything else.
"... Forgive me, my lord. She's probably in the bat—"
"She's not in the bathroom." He replied in a low, dangerous tone that sent a shiver down her spine.
Where are you, my lady? Marinas thought through gritted teeth before exhaling out shakily, "i shall go find her at once." Marina began looking around every corner of the estate, and each room she opened without you in it, she would lose two years of her life with Capitano following her.
You couldn't have escaped, right?
Finally when she hurriedly went to the back of the estate, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw you sitting outside on the grass with the basket of goods she handed you earlier.
You wave your hands and both Capitano and Marina with a bright smile, causing his shoulders to relax when you were at last seen having fun by yourself.
"you're going to get me killed one day." Marina mouthed at you, but since there was some distance between you both, you just smiled and shrugged at her.
Capitano approached you slowly, his purposeful stride carrying him towards you with measured steps. You were perched on the grass, happily savoring the treats in your hands, when he suddenly materialized before you. "Sit." You pat the space next to you, to which he obliged without hesitation.
"Have you ever done this before?"
"No."
"Never? It's nice."
"You do seem to be enjoying yourself." He hums thoughtfully, and your smile widens, "The last couple of months have been interesting, and i get to know you better now." You say before popping a blueberry in your mouth to chew on.
"Blueberry?" You offer, raising your hand while holding a blueberry in between your thumb and forefinger.
You might think your husband is shy by how he looks around at first before taking off his helmet, cute. Eventually he leans to take the fruit between his teeth before chewing silently, the slight fruit juice glistening on his lips before his tongue along with his thumb swiped over his lower lip.
"you know," you suddenly speak, drawing your hips near him, "we've never kissed yet."
He pauses, staring at you while thinking deep about it, "does it bother you?"
"No, does the idea bother you?" Your question held a mixture of uncertainty and intrigue.
Without a warning, his hand held your left cheek with gentleness, his lips slotting against yours for three seconds max before it ended.
What?
Your eyes were wide open the whole three seconds of it too!
"What was that?" The horror in your eyes was evident, not because you were scared, but because you were caught off guard and your eyes were fucking open. Capitano, upon seeing your eyes, he immediately tried pulling away, thinking he might've scared you in some way.
But you were quick to hold his wrist firmly so it wouldn't leave your cheek. "I liked it." You blurt out with the reddest cheeks ever, and he's almost amused.
"But it was too fast," you clear your throat before tilting your head closer, "may i, husband?" How can he refuse when you asked so nicely too?
Your lips latch onto his for the second time, and this time, you were going to give him a proper kiss. With your lips moving with ease against his, the sounds of soft smacks of your lips together filling the air which makes the tips of his ears go red.
You don't continue after both of you pull away to catch your breath, your eyes staring deeply into eachother as he pressed his lips into a thin line.
"Let's not do this again," your heart almost drops at his words. Did you mess up again? Did he not like how it felt—
"In public, i meant. I wouldn't like anyone to see you in such a state."
You can definitely hear the crickets in your head. "So we can continue kissing?"
"Mm," he only hums back before reaching for his helmet to put it back on. "I have to leave, i will be back by midnight," and when he stands up, it was your cue to stand up to bid him goodbye.
"Take care, husband." You wrap you arms around him, and he circles his arms back around you into a tight hug. It was not your first hug together, so you got used to the feeling of not being able to breath for a couple of seconds before of his tight arms around you.
•••
Capitano expected you to be awake when he returned from a few errands he had to run earlier, expecting you to wait for for him so that both of you could sleep at the same time ever since you did that day.
But you were asleep, peaceful and relaxed on your shared bed. You, wearing nothing but a silky nightgown like you always do, the blanket shuffled messily on you which revealed your legs slightly parted, and your arms hugging the pillow underneath you.
You looked like an angel to him, so vulnerable.. so pretty like this—god was he pent up from today.
He hands clenched tightly into fists until his knuckles turned white as he looked away, instead busying himself in taking off his usually neat coat which was now covered in few splatters of crimson red.
The sound of the running water masked his muttering, instantly regretting his thoughtlessness. As he grabbed the bar of soap, he began to wash vigorously, trying to expel the memories of combat and the musky scent of carnage. His body couldn't be gentler with himself though, as he massaged his muscles that ached from the constant strain.
His heartbeat quickened as his mind wandered back to you. You were the sweetest thing in his life, and he would never ever hurt you, in fact, he would rather die than have your precious skin scratched. Or even cutting off the heads without hesitating if one would hurt you.
He hates himself for envisioning your body under his, or thinking about how skilled you would be with your tongue or hands. he thought he was a selfish lustful man for thinking of such thing when you were sound asleep and tired.
Unable to bear it any longer, he reached for himself, stroking slowly at first before heavier thrusts took over all while imagining how it would feel like to be inside your soft and warm cunt instead of his hard and rough fist. The steam from the shower served to muffle his low groans, half in agony, half in ecstasy. Closing his eyes, he pictured your warm smile or shy and embarrassed facial expressions as his release came steadily forth, his forehead hit the cool tiles as he let out a deep, satisfied sigh.
After taking a moment to get himself together, he turned off the water and faced the mirror. How can he go back to bed after jerking off to the thought of your smile and sleeping figure? He would very much rather bang his head on the wall.
But he dried off with a sigh and headed back to bed, trying to keep his eyes half closed with his back turned to you as he sinked down on the mattress, taking a bit of blanket to cover himself with his eyes forced shut.
Your sudden arms that enveloped around him from behind is what gave Capitano a scare. A literal scare to the big man.
Were you awake this whole time? Did you hear him back in the bathroom? Was he too loud?
But your soft snores made his stiff shoulders sag in relief, indicating you were still in deep in your dreams.
He decided to turn around to face you, looking down at how innocent you looked, how the moonlight seemed to glow on your face from the window, giving your features a glowy shine.
"You have ruined me," he whispered carefully while brushing off strands of your hair away from your face to press a goodnight kiss on your forehead. "I am yours, ruin me, break me, and love me as much as you want, my wife."
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mickyschumacher · 10 months
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𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐅𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 .ೃ࿐
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: after seeing you with play with some young fans you and charles meet on the streets of monaco, charles can't get his mind off having his own. or in which, charles has got a case of the baby fever. 𝐏𝐓. 𝟐 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: established relationship, fluff, 18+ (minors DNI), unprotected sex (wrap it if u don't want babies), breeding kink (obvi), charles meeting the bare minimum requirement to be a good human (lmao), slight lactation kink, mutual orgasms, handjob, pussy rubbing(?), reader is sensitive as shit, google translated french (my bad to the french speakers), a questionable perversion of having children that always comes with this context, also questionable whether this qualifies as baby fever but yeh
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: charles leclerc x fem!reader
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3k+
𝐀/𝐍: wrote this one when i first started if you can't tell by the mention of pedro and tlou! my absence explained in another post! ♡︎
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
⋆  •°.  。  .°•  ⋆
Charles loved his fans, especially Tifosi. After you, his family and friends, they were the most important people in his lives and constantly motivated him. Most of them were kind and sweet to him and loved and cherished you more than they loved him.
That's why whenever fans asked for photos with you, the both of you or autographs, Charles always accepted. He rarely refused them unless the fans gave off a certain vibe that rubbed him the wrong way; crazed fans or fans who liked you a little bit too much for his liking.
His favourite fans normally, however, were children. It was definitely pressurising to have that many children look up to him but Charles found it rewarding. They were so young and full of dreams that he could help fulfil. They always looked at him wide-eyed with their jaws open as if they had just seen an angel walk by, similarly to how Charles reacted when he had first seen you in the streets of Monaco.
Today was no exception. It was currently the mid-season break and you two were roaming the partially empty streets after having breakfast out, relishing in the privacy of Monaco. Halfway through your walk, you and Charles had bumped into some small fans, literally.
A set of 3-year old twin sisters and a boy who only seemed a year or two older had run to Charles and you yelling 'Charles!' and 'It's Ferrari!'.
Charles instantly was smiling at them, crouching down to talk to them and entertain all their bombarding questions that flew one after the other.
"Is the car really that fast?"
"Can I go in the car?!"
"I hope you win!"
You chuckled softly as Charles answered them with ease. You looked at the parents who also seemed to be equally as excited as their children. "Do you want me to take a photo for you guys?" You inquired softly.
The parents looked at you with wide eyes. "Can you? If it's no bother!" The father fretted, sharing a slightly alarmed expression with his wife.
You shook your head and smiled. "It's not a problem." They held out their phone and you took it into your hands, opening the camera. You hummed as you looked at the group. "Let's do three photos. One with the three angels, one with the parents and one family one?" You asked.
The parents were about to nod when the kids suddenly refused. "Four! We want one with a pretty girl!" One of the sisters yelled out, pointing at you.
Your mouth fell open while your body flushed with slight embarrassment. Charles grinned at you, agreeing with the children profusely. You gave a playful sigh and nodded. The children and parents began to poise for the camera several times and left the last one for you to take a selfie with them.
The parents turned to Charles, inviting him into a conversation as they apologised for the kids running to him all of a sudden.
You could hear Charles say it was fine when you felt a tug at the bottom your dress. You crouched down to the children who now crowded you.
The boy looked at you wide-eyed while the two girls poked your arm and asked "Are you a princess?"
You smiled softly. "I am!" You implored, "How did you know?" You asked in a hushed tone.
The children giggled. "Princesses are always pretty, that's why!" The boy said with red cheeks.
You hummed, pondering over the statement. You brought your hand out to pat the girls' heads and pinch the little boy's chubby cheeks. "That must mean all of you are also princesses and princes, hmm?"
The children cheered in agreement, giggling to themselves before discussing who was the best prince or princesses out of them all.
"I'm the best prince!" One sister said, putting her hands on her hips in determination. Her older brother looked at her almost offended. "How can that be? I'm the best. I'm older."
The other sister looked at her siblings dumbfounded. "Why can't we all be the best?" She sighed.
You grinned at her answer. "You're right! You are all the best. Equally. You know why?" You asked.
Three pair of big eyes looked at you with curiosity swirling within them as they shook their small heads 'no'.
You brought their hands together and held them in your palm. "Because you're siblings. You're family. That's the best."
The kids stared at you blankly, probably trying digest your words as much as they could at that age. The previous sister smiled widely, letting out a deafening yell, running to her mother. "Did you hear that, maman? We're all the best!" She screamed with joy.
You stood from the ground slowly, grinning at all the kids. "I did. We all heard that, ma cherié. It's true!" The mother chorused, giving you a thankful smile.
You smiled in response, shaking your head as if it was nothing. The parents and kids began to say goodbye to you and Charles, although the latter did so rather reluctantly as you walked over to your boyfriend.
You raised a brow at the dazed expression on Charles' face. "Cha? Mon amour, what's going on in that head of yours?" You hooked your arm with his, resting your head on his shoulder.
Charles blinked. "Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just thinking about those kids. Cute, right?" He breathed out, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.
You smiled. "Very," You agreed as the two of you began to walk to Charles' car.
━━━━━━━━━━━
Arriving home, the two of you decided to lounge in your living room, not bothered to do anything else for the day. You had managed to put on the newest episode of 'The Last of Us', eager to find out what was happening next.
You and Charles laid on the couch; your head resting on his chest while he cuddled you from behind. You were intently watching Pedro Pascal after being besieged with edit after edit of him on TikTok. Charles on the other hand wasn't focusing at all.
All he could think about what those kids you and him had met earlier that morning. Specifically, you conversing with them. You hadn't realised since you were so caught up with them, but at one point him and the parents had stopped talking and tuned into your conversation with the kids.
Charles had talked to you about kids before. You both wanted them and although Charles always talked about having three kids specifically, just like him and his brothers, he would leave it up to whatever you wanted because at the end of the day, it was you giving birth, not him. He would prefer to have children when he was slightly a bit more older, you both had more control over his life, and obviously with at least one championship under his belt.
But after today, Charles was prepared to throw that plan away. As lewd as it was, the idea of you getting you pregnant and having a family not only touched his heart, but immorally touched his cock.
Knowing that he would have to ensure that his cum was entirely within you, stuffed into your cervix, and not letting a single drop come out made him feel feral. To make matters worse, you would look like a goddess when pregnant because hell, you were so beautiful now. Round and full with his child because he made sure to fuck you till you were overflowing with his cum. Or when your breasts became heavy and sensitive to his touch, leaking sporadically, giving him the opportunity to clean you up with his mouth.
God, he was an animal. The worst.
"Charles, what are you doing?" Your voice erupted into the air, breaking him out of his deep train of thought.
Charles blinked at your question in confusion before he looked down, seeing his hand traversing under your dress and up your inner thigh. He looked over to your amused eyes peering at him.
"Sorry," He let out with a sigh, rubbing the warm flesh of your thigh softly. "I just... I can't stop thinking about children."
You raised a brow, not seeing the correlation to Charles' wondering hand. "Children?" You iterated, running a hand through his hair.
Charles shut his eyes at your actions, feeling at ease. "Those kids today... make me want our own children. Now. I want to have children now."
Charles peeked his eyes open, looking at your astounded expression with a bit of fear. "What about our plans? What was it? Thirty-three, a championship, lives under control, and then children?" You queried. "I-I'm not mad or anything, Cha. Just curious. Why the change of heart all of sudden?
You had now turned to face Charles, knees on either side of him, straddling his lap as you became fully attentive to him.
Charles played with the tresses of your hair that had fallen past your face before tucking them gently behind your ear. "You would just make such a good mother, mon ange. You're so sweet and kind. You now how to talk to them. God, pregnancy would look so good on you. I can't stop thinking about you pregnant," Charles let out a small moan a thought. "You all round with our child, hormonal, sensitive at my touch."
Charles' fingers brushed over your neck, making you shudder involuntarily. You melted at his words. Charles thought a great deal of you. You weren't opposed to the idea either, in fact all of his words were making you hornier by the minute.
"You know what?" You queried, "I also want to have children. You would make an amazing father, Cha. I know you would," You softly said, pressing a brief kiss to his lips.
Charles pulled away, boring his gaze into you. "Yeah?" He whispered, eyes soft and full of lust and love.
"Yeah," You repeated. "A father of all three," You teased, giving him a small knowing smile.
Charles' eyes darkened slightly at your words. His hands rested on your hips, his half-hard on in his pants turned harder, pressing into your clothed pussy. "Mon amour," He whispered into your ear, making the hairs on your body stand straight. "Should I fuck a baby into you?" He pulled his face back, waiting for your answer.
You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip, relishing in his words. "If you're going to fuck a baby in me, Charles, you better do it right the first time."
Charles groaned, grinning at your words. Staring at you with a fiery gaze, he quickly brought you down into a hungry kiss. His grip on your hips tightened while your hands became entangled in his hair. Another groan fell against your lips when you tugged at his locks.
Your heart slammed against your chest, beating loudly in your ears. Your skin was heated with Charles' touch ravaging all over you; grazing your arms, squeezing your ass only for you to press further into him. Your stomach surged with desire, feeling his clothed cock grind into you. "Fuck," Your swollen lips uttered out, high with an intoxicating buzz circulating your veins.
"Charles, I need–" You began only to be cut off by your own whimper as Charles bucked his hips up into you, setting a pace of stimulation with the tent of his pants and the gritty material of his shorts.
Charles smiled at the sight of your head thrown back and your back arching. "What do you need, ma cherié? Hmm? Tell me and I'll give it to you, my love," He sighed out, feeling his cock ache in its restraints.
"Fuck, j'ai besoin de ta bite, Charles," You murmured, feeling the temperature of your body rise with every passing second. Fuck, I need your cock, Charles.
Charles grinned at your use of French so early on. Normally when you were nearing your climax, you would lose yourself to all the French you knew. "As you wish, princesse," He stated. "Let's get this off, hmm?" He began to slid down the straps of your dress, pressing warm kisses on your shoulder. The sight of your bare breasts made him sigh in content, licking a strip from the base of your neck and down the valley of your breasts.
You felt a shiver crawl up your spine, feeling Charles' hands wander down your back while he pushed the fabric past your ass, hooking his fingers under your the waistband of your panties. You lifted your body up, aiding him in getting rid of your dress and underwear.
You settled back down on Charles' lap, pushing your wet core against his clothed cock. Charles nipped at your neck, dazed at the feeling of your pussy on him. Your hands reached out, rushing to get those shorts and shirt off of him. Pulling his shirt of him, you placed a trail of kisses down his chest. You could feel his lower stomach tense as you neared his waistband. With a grin, impatiently, you took off his shorts and the boxers underneath.
Your stomach churned and pussy throbbed at Charles' red, aching cock springing up, begging to be touched. You flickered your sultry gaze to your boyfriend, reaching over to put your fingers in his mouth.
Charles maintained eye-contact, lubing your fingers generously with his spit before he felt a shudder rip through him when you teasingly pushed your pussy to graze the angry tip of his cock.
"Vous taquinez," Charles uttered out almost with a whine after you removed your fingers. You tease.
"Don't be too sad, mon amour," You breathed out, trailing your wet fingers over his v-line before wrapping them around his cock. Charles sucked in a sharp breath as your hand began move up and down his shaft, mixing his spit and his pre-cum together, giving him a new, unique shine of his own.
"You wanted to see me pregnant, right? Full of your cum. So pregnant that everyone will know in a few months that you fucked me that good," You started, eyes trained on him while you pumped his cock with a tantalising grip. "We need a lot of your cum today. I'm just getting you prepared," You purred.
Charles let out a series of high moans, letting your words wash all over him and mix with his euphoria. His fingers reached out to your wet folds, stroking your heated slip with need. You trembled at his touch, bucking your hip against his fingers, increasing the pace of your hand on his cock.
Both of you moaned loudly while you jerked each other off, breathy sounds bouncing off the walls of your apartment. "Merde," Charles swore, pressing his head further into the couch, hips sensitively bucking into your hand as you brushed the slit of his cock.
He pushed himself, refusing to slack at your pleasure. He rubbed your pussy, groaning at the wet, glistening folds that were coating his fingers. You moaned, feeling a familiar buzzing pool in your stomach. "I need to," Charles panted out, covering your hand with his to stop you, "I need to..." He trailed off once again, pulling you closer to him.
Charles could barely think straight. He didn't know what he was saying or what he was doing. All he knew was that he needed to feel your pussy against his cock.
A guttural whimper escaped your mouth when Charles rubbed his cock against your folds. God, the both of you could get off just like this. He sighed out, eyes clouded with pleasure while he bathed in the warmth of your pussy. He could feel you jerk time to time against him, sensitive from nearing your climax.
You were was a sight to behold. You couldn't control your hips or yourself. You were just so receptive, automatically rubbing your pussy and clit up and down the head of cock. Your head falling back, supported by air while your back arched with lust. Sweat clung to your warmed body and your dry hair was now coated in a light sheen of grease. Face contorted with pleasure and flushed with heat.
"I'm gonna cum, fuck," Charles hissed out, partially angry that he already was about to climax but how could he not at such a view and feeling?
You blinked through your pleasure, remembering how you had gotten into this situation in the first place. You pushed your hips to him, hovering over his cock and sliding down onto him. You whimpered, feeling full with his throbbing cock in you.
Charles groaned, feeling your warm walls clench around him as you began to move your hips up and down. He watched your breasts bounce, making him flicker to that thought of them being full with milk once he got you pregnant. He would be selfish and have a taste of them himself.
Your pussy was a siphon, drawing and pulling his cock even further into you. Charles placed his hands on your hips, pushing you down on his cock to ensure he was balls-deep within you, fully sheathed. The breathy air was now replaced with both of your lewd moans and the sound of your skin slapping and sticking against one another.
"Merde, merde," Charles began to chant, increasing the pace of his hips snapping and rutting into your folds. Your hands fell to his own hands, tightening around them as pleasure bubbled at the pits of your stomach.
"Fuck, Charles. Cum in me, mon amour. Fais de moi une mère. Hmm? Imagine it. I'll be even more sensitive, my tits will be heavy and sore with milk and I'll ask you to massage them... everyone will know what we did," You moaned loudly. Make me a mother.
Charles's hips came to a halt, shaking with pleasure while he poured ropes and ropes of his hot cum deep into your walls. He let out staggered moans, feeling you clench around him and take even more of his load. Charles pressed his swollen lips onto your, kissing you dizzy while he thrusted out his high, ensuring his cum was staying within you.
Charles sighed out, pressing his forehead against yours. Realising you were once again on the brink of cumming, with his cock still in you, he brought his fingers to your engorged clit, rubbing the sensitive nub gently yet harshly.
He felt your walls grip him even tighter if possible as you began to convulse in his arms. "Jesus fucking Christ," You sobbed out, waves of your euphoric climax hitting you.
Christ, you were so sensitive, hips jerking up against his fingers, grinding to maximise your stimulation. He couldn't even stop you if he wanted to.
"Merde, ma cherié, cum for me. Yes, just like that," Charles coaxed, groaning as you somehow managed to get more cum out of him.
You let out a final whimper before collapsing onto him, feeling Charles' softening cock drive and push the cum deeper into you. You let out a low moan against his chest.
Charles pushed your chin up with his finger, looking into your eyes. He smiled, pressing a slow, soft kiss to your lips. "You did so well, mon amour," He praised, running a hand through your sweaty hair, getting a better glance of your face.
You gave him a weak smile, peering up at him through your eyelashes. "You think we did a good job?" You queried, voice quiet and tired. "You think we'll have a child soon?"
Charles grinned at you, planting another kiss on the side of your head. "If I didn't, I'll fuck you again and make sure that test has two lines."
𝐏𝐓. 𝟐 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!
© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑
5K notes · View notes
catssluvr · 1 month
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𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅, spencer reid
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spencer reid x roommate!reader
in which everybody’s falling in love and you’re falling behind or you come back from an awful date and spencer comforts you. well, he does his best
warnings: kinda sad for a bit, r really wants to be loved, two idiots in love <3
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
You take off your shoes as soon as you reach your apartment's floor, exhaustion taking over. One hand reaches inside the bag to pull of the keys and the other rubs against your face one more time. You're sure your mascara is all smudged already. Not that you would ever cry for someone like that, but you don't think you've heard someone talk about their car as much as him and it honestly made you get sleepy.
You regret accepting to go on a blind date, deeply. It's never been your thing so why did you decide it was a good idea?
The truth is that it's hard to watch all of your friends fall in love and brag about their happy relationships when you don't even know how it feels to truly be loved. It's also not great that you're in love with your roommate when it's clearly not reciprocate. You have so much love to give, so why can't you find love as well?
Besides, the guy you just went out with is a total jerk. He made at least four sex jokes before the drinks arrived and bragged about his career for about half of the time (the other half was about his car). As soon as dinner was over you practically bolted out the restaurant, ignoring his comment about a 'second desert'. It's safe to say you never want to see him again.
Unlocking the door with a sigh, you are met with the sight of Spencer sitting comfortably on the couch with a book in his hands. You curse inside your head, it's not that you don't want to see him. In fact, you think he looks absolutely adorable in a sweatshirt all curled up in his seat. But you don't want him to see you like this, it's obvious your date didn't go well.
"Hey, you're home early." His voice is laced with fatigue. He leaves the book behind and approaches you, his signature smile in full display.
"Yep." You use all your strength to give him a smile back. You don't want to be unpleasant with him just because of a not so great date. Turning your back to him just as fast to place your shoes on the shoe rack.
"How did it go?" He asks tentatively and you frown at the way he seems nervous to know the answer.
"Uh- not great." You decide to not elaborate it, all you want right now is to bury yourself in your bed covers and cry.
"Oh, i'm sorry." You can't bring yourself to look him in the eye, you really don't want his pity. What you miss is the way a sparkle of what looks like relief flashes across his eyes. Before you can dismiss yourself he adds, "You know, given half a billion potential soulmates, the chances of finding your true love on a blind date are one in ten thousand."
As much as you want to tell him that's not necessarily what you need to hear right now, you don't feel like you have enough strength to do it. You know he's mostly trying to comfort you and he's just really not an expert when it comes to emotions.
"Yeah, i guess so." You answer and it's now his time to frown. You're usually way more excited to hear about his statistics. "I'm just gonna go to my room. Night, Spence." And then you're scrambling to your room, closing the door behind you before he can have a reaction.
Exhaling deeply, you throw your bag somewhere in the room and move to the bathroom. You turn on the shower and quickly discard your clothes to the floor, feeling immediately better when the warm water hits your skin.
Stepping out, you get yourself into some comfy sweats and a large old shirt before rushing through your skincare. Not bothering to dry your hair, you slip under the covers with a content hum. You can't help but imagine how it would be better if Spencer was laying with you, it would be tempting to curl up against his sweatshirt and forget about all of your problems.
Snapping out of your daze, you grab your laptop and settle for a comfort show that you know will help you relax. Your stomach grumbles slightly in hunger and you now realize how you had barely touched your food at dinner. Ignoring it anyway because the chances of you leaving your bed for the rest of the night are very low.
A gentle knock sounds from your door and you grumble, dragging yourself to open it. But as soon as you do, regret fills you for getting annoyed at all. There stands Spencer, wide and concerned eyes staring at you.
Now you take a moment to actually look at him and not just his sweatshirt. His hair is mussed by his position in the couch, his mismatched socks peeking from his sweatpants and his lanky hands hold a bowl of mac and cheese and a can of your favorite soda - like he's read your mind. It just reminds you of a few of the reasons to why you're so head over heels for him. He can read you like a book without having to profile you.
Sometimes you wonder how you're ever even going to get over him. Since becoming his roommate a year ago, this was the first time you had gone out on a date. It's not that you didn't want to go on dates, not being the most outgoing person came with it's liabilities. But you always thought going out with someone would make you forget about Spencer. Turns out it just made you realize how perfect he is compared to any other guy.
"I-I just thought maybe this could cheer you up. I know i wasn't much of a help." He smiles sheepishly, standing awkwardly on his feet. Your heart clenches at remembering how you dismissed him earlier.
"Thank you. You really didn't have to." You smile back kindly, looking at him with nothing but adoration.
He clears his throat nervously, "You know- uh- there's a study that says hugs slow down the heart rate and decreases the level of cortisol, the stress hormone. In turn, it makes people feel relaxed and safe." He stutters along his words.
You can't help but chuckle at his peculiar way of offering a hug. "A hug would be great, Spence." You say as you take the food from his and settle it somewhere on your bed. Returning quickly to stand by him and wrapping your arms around his shoulder with no hesitation.
He visibly relaxes at that, nose burying in your head and breathing in lightly. His sweatshirt really does feel just as soft as it looks. He squeezes you, hard enough to pull a giggle out of you but somehow affectionately.
You find yourself not wanting to pull away, a dramatic pout forming in your mouth when you force yourself to do it.
"You wanna make me company while i eat? We can watch Star Trek." Your fingers move almost involuntarily to untangle his curls as you speak.
He nods eagerly before mumbling, "Yes, but we're watching Friends. Last time i picked so we should watch something you like this time." Before he's walking to your bed, sitting comfortably with the covers to his lap.
You almost blush at the thought of him wanting to watch your favorite sitcom with you.
When you join him in bed, he's already setting up the show on your laptop and your heart almost bursts at how comfortable you feel with it, with him.
You eat your mac and cheese, occasionally offering him a few bites.
You feel a weight on your shoulder and turn to see Spencer with his cheek pressed up against it comfortably. You question if he feels sleepy but his he looks wide awake, gaze fixated on the screen in front of you.
Your thoughts drift again as you look at him. You question if maybe this i all just a silly crush because he's so nice to you. But you really don't think you're supposed to be thinking about a silly crush on a date with another guy.
Or maybe you just need to tell him. Maybe if you confess it to him it'll be easier for you. It wouldn't be a secret anymore and even though he doesn't feel the same, a weight would be lifted off your shoulders. You don't really get to think much about it before the words are spilling out of your mouth.
"Spencer?" You call gently and he answers with a small hum, not moving from his position on your shoulder. "I only went on that date because of you." You admit, heart breaking when you feel him tense up and sit up.
"Why- What do you mean?" His brows furrow in confusion.
"I only went on a date because i thought it would help me get over my feelings for you, turns out i'm way too in love for that. And i'm sorry, i know it's one sided. But can we please keep being friends? I promise i can pretend we didn't have this talk- i just needed to get it off my chest." You feel your eyes grow wet as the words come out, imagining the worse scenarios possible. It's already bad enough to feel like you're never going to experience true love, you don't want to lose your best friend too.
"You think i don't love you?" Spencer seems even more confused now, but he looks at you more gently than ever. His eyes glow with the dim yellow light and you find it hard to concentrate on his words.
"Not the way i do, Spence." You breath out, eyes fully glassy now and you're sure that anything can cause you to fall apart now.
"I leave you coffee and a note every morning, i've read all of your favorite books just so i could learn about your interests, i got an email just so you could send me videos of cats and i don't feel disgusted with the idea of eating your food or giving you hugs - not at all." He pauses before adding, "You think i don't love you?" He asks again, just as gentle as before - if not more. It's more of an affirmation then a question.
"Oh." You can't help but feel like you've been blind for all this time. You were so stuck with thinking that you would never find someone you could comfortably show your love for that you didn't notice he was right there, right under the same roof.
"I'm such an idiot." You chuckle, rubbing the tears off your eyes with the back of your hands.
"You are. But i'm also a complete idiot for never doing anything about it." He grinned sweetly, moving to sit closer and tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"Hm, how 'bout i kiss you, you kiss me back, and we call it even?" You play with the long sleeves of his sweatshirt, smile mirroring his.
Spencer's cheeks redden as he pretends to think before he lets out a chuckle of his own, "I'm in."
You have to contain your smile when you lean closer, lips finally touching his after waiting for so long. And now that you get to do it, you don't think you ever want to stop. His hands gently hold your face, thumbs rubbing against your cheeks in the softest way, as if you can break with anything.
It doesn't last as long as you would have wished, both your smiles getting in the way.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
love you,
cat 🤍
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