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If there’s anything I can give you guys, let me know!

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i'll sell my soul for jordan peele as the next supervillain

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Venus girdle (Cestum veneris) via Aquatilis

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where can i watch the latest season of kitchen nightmares?

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THE CONJURING (2013) dir. James Wan

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How Real is reality? The flintstones has two Ts but people remember one. Why does Patrick believe in that stupid Rolex when Rolex can’t make enough money that they quietly sell half their supply to secondary markets? Are we alone in the universe, or does our program only focus on us?

We create simulations so perfectly.

From simplicity, complexity emerges. A thirteen-year-old could sit in granny’s basement, set some rules in his Unreal Engine-type video game and press play. From a mouse to a blue whale, you could have a Patrick Bateman, a bystander, a non-player-character like Evelyn Williams. All you have to do is look.

Heated with a flame torch from below, the soup flushed upwards against gravity in the complex-looking scientific beaker setup churns over chopped lettuce, mushrooms, ginger, and lime. The liquid falls back into the beaker like a gentle spa fountain.

Even gentler blues make their dock across the table, set in a baby's face that closed multimillion-dollar deals while slinking warm, raclette cheese all over his most prized cut of steak.

Marsha was the dancer. Tall, as thin as kale. She’s not that frail when it comes to showing off her tonguing speed along the steppy paths of the jetty.   

‘  Any good at what?   ‘  

I am at ‘Dorsia’ sipping a refreshment drink from a crystal glass and watching the seconds hand on my Rolex. Paul Allen has exactly two minutes to pull up, give the parking lot boy a chewing gum wrapped in a dollar bill, and ascend the three low steps leading to the entrance. I placed a bet on which suit he’ll be in, and depending on that I will do a standard number of push-ups or an increased number of push-ups tomorrow. I’m pushing myself while Paul Allen is contemplating attending Les Miserables. That’s the difference between me and him, perhaps.

I’ve already ordered, so Paul will most likely watch my dinner being delivered to the table earlier than his own. I look at the watch again. Thirty seconds before he supposedly enters. Twenty seconds. Big-eyed Greek god, he is asking for a spear in his chest. Or his heel, I don’t remember exactly. The man himself shows up. Five second early. Ten more push-ups.

“Where did you get that girl, the girl I saw you at Evelyn’s with? Is she any good? Also, that tie is atrocious.”

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A FEW VARIOUS SENTENCE STARTERS

❝ i wouldn't find the need to tell you 'i told you so' if you weren't so allergic to admitting i'm right. ❞

❝ there are better hills to die on but i find this one quite comfortable. ❞

❝ would you come with me please? i adore your company. ❞

❝ that's not the worst thing i've ever heard but it's certainly up there. ❞

❝ i would love to help you but i'm afraid i'm suffering from a terrible case of 'it's not my problem.' ❞

❝ could you just think about anyone other than yourself for once? ❞

❝ i'm not going to stand here and argue with you about how much you need to get some rest. if i find you passed out on the floor i'm leaving you there. ❞

❝ would you be a dear and shut the hell up. ❞

❝ i know i need help but i'm not quite ready to ask for it. ❞

❝ do you know where we're going or are we just trying to get lost now? ❞

❝ i have confided this in you, please do not betray that trust. ❞

❝ do you like it here? with me? ❞

❝ are you still happy? with me, i mean. with us. ❞

❝ i didn't lie, i simply presented a selective truth. ❞

❝ do you actually like spending time with me? because i feel like all you do is argue. ❞

❝ one of us will eventually have to have the strength to be honest with ourselves about each other. ❞

❝ i want to tell you something i just need a moment to figure out the right words. ❞

❝ if you were the religious type i would challenge god to win your devotion. ❞

❝ don't tell me to quit being melodramatic it's the only time i have any fun. ❞

❝ were you ever going to tell me or were you just going to make me guess what you're thinking and feeling. ❞

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&. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( dialogue prompts taken from the second season of hulu's the bear, created by christopher storer. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )

❛ you ever think about purpose? ❜

❛ i love you, but i do not have time for this, alright? ❜

❛ i have time for this. ❜

❛ you know what the fuck you're doing. you love this shit. it's fun for you. i don't have that. ❜

❛ i'm afraid one day, i'm gonna wake up and you guys are all just gonna just drop this ass. ❜

❛ if this shit is not fun for you, what the fuck is fun for you? ❜

❛ i'm not making the same mistakes i made last time. ❜

❛ what kind of insurance coverage do we have for people falling through the fucking wall? ❜

❛ sometimes, i look like february. ❜

❛ you want a sprite? you look kinda green. ❜

❛ can i ask you something and you can tell me to fuck off if you want? ❜

❛ chef, that's way too much acid. ❜

❛ you, uh, making a sundae? ❜

❛ that actually sounds delicious. ❜

❛ because you're the bear and i remember you. ❜

❛ i love taking care of you. and i always will. you know that? ❜

❛ i'm glad i came 'cause i get to eat this. ❜

❛ i gotta come up with three really great desserts. you got any ideas? ❜

❛ you ever made ice cream before, chef? want to? ❜

❛ it kind of tastes like a, um... minty snickers bar. ❜

❛ so how long you been a cook? ❜

❛ how’d you get good at this? ❜

❛ you can spend all the time in the world in here, but if you don't spend enough time out there... you know? ❜

❛ speaking of dead brothers, do you wanna go to a party? ❜

❛ it looks so pretty on you. you should keep it. ❜

❛ what's going on with you? i know there's something. just tell me. ❜

❛ what are you talking about, i don't give a fuck? why would you say that to me? i give like a huge fuck. ❜

❛ you're not by yourself, alright? i'm right here with you. ❜

❛ did you just throw a fork at me? ❜

❛ i think time spent doing this is time well spent. ❜

❛ never too late to start over. ❜

❛ i just want you to know... that this is really nice. ❜

❛ i'm thinking you're very, very beautiful. ❜

❛ we just don't say hello anymore? ❜

❛ you're wearing a suit? ❜

❛ uh, yeah, i wear suits now. ❜

❛ i'm sorry if i took anything out on you and if I treated you like shit. ❜

❛ i actually do think that we could fit good together. ❜

❛ i could be good at things that you don't really wanna do. and you're obviously really great at a whole bunch of stuff that I don't know how to do, you know? ❜

❛ i'm wearing a suit 'cause it makes me feel better about myself. ❜

❛ i know that you're trying. i see that you're trying. ❜

❛ you just came from a funeral? ❜

❛ yeah, a funeral of all my enemies. ❜

❛ you want me to make you some coffee? ❜

❛ i just need your focus like you need mine. ❜

❛ you good? ❜

❛ what's your relationship with your mom like? ❜

❛ alright, chef, i need you to salt that like a sidewalk. ❜

❛ looks gorgeous, chef. ❜

❛ i haven't eaten yet. ❜

❛ oh, let me make you something. ❜

❛ yeah, i can make you an omelet. ❜

❛ that wasn't like an ask out or anything, was it? ❜

❛  i'm looking really good. i 'm thinking you should start calling me chef. ❜

❛ well, i'mma keep calling you jagoff, 'cause that's what you like. ❜

❛ you deserve my full focus. ❜

❛ i guess i'm scared that i don't have what it takes to not fuck this up. ❜

❛ you're not gonna fuck it up. ❜

❛ i fuck things up all the time, like, every day. ❜

❛ you could do this without me. ❜

❛ i couldn't do it without you. i wouldn't even wanna to do it without you. ❜

❛ you make me better at this. ❜

❛ you still love to cook, right? ❜

❛ how's the wine? ❜

❛ yo. we're low on forks, chef. ❜

❛ okay, let's start firing some caviar, please. ❜

❛ i was just gonna say how special and cool and great this place is and how i'm the most proud of you ever. ❜

❛ i really appreciate you being so patient with me. ❜

❛ do i have time to go outside and scream "fuck"? ❜

❛ just don't tell them you saw me, 'cause this is embarrassing. ❜

❛ i love them so much. i don't know how to show it. ❜

❛ i don't know how to say i'm sorry. ❜

❛ i need you to say it's okay. ❜

❛ you are being so fucking weird, man. ❜

❛ i'm stuck in a goddamn refrigerator on the opening night of my fucking restaurant. ❜

❛ i failed you guys and it's not gonna happen again. ❜

❛ maybe i'm just not built for this. ❜

❛ because no amount of good is worth how terrible this feels. ❜

❛ i'm really sorry you feel that way. ❜

❛ would you shut the fuck up and get me the fuck outta here, please? ❜

❛ i don't understand why you can't just let something good happen for once in your fucking life? ❜

❛ you wanna talk to me about my fucking kid? at least i got a kid. ❜

❛ where were you when i fucking put your brother in the ground, you selfish piece of shit? ❜

❛ i fucking love you! ❜

❛ you fucking need me. ❜

❛ i just had this sudden urge to tell you that i've always had this, like, massive crush on you. ❜

❛ i love you, chef. ❜

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Starter call