#oops I have feelings again

[lemonadeslice]

(INSERT “WEIRD SCIENCE” LYRICS HERE)

[medicalunprofessional]

[meamiiikiii]

5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA

i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)

((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

Eliot ensuring the girls know how to defend themselves. (And them proving that they can!)

Leverage S02E02/S04E05/Redemption S01E16/S02E03.

[rileys-battlecats]

*guy that hasn't slept properly in several days voice* damn why am i so tired

[dazais-guardian-angel]

With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.

...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )

[hassiegfrieddoneanythingwrong]

Summer 9 line-up is revealed, with Classes this time (mostly). They are:

Ciel, aka Mystery Agent C.I.E.L (5 star, Moon Cancer)

Dobrynya Nikitich (4 star, Lancer)

Xu Fu (4 star, Avenger)

BB Dubai (most likely Kazuradrop in disguise) (5 star, Moon Cancer)

Tenochtitlan (4 star, Moon Cancer)

Mystery Heroine XX Alter (4 star, Foreigner)

Also, this event will be technically two months long, since it's going to be combined with OC3, a limited chapter (again?!) written by Nasu. It'll be released in three parts like Avalon, and most likely focused on the Moon Cancer Class. It'll also give out a Servant (most likely the Summer Welfare) once completed, and will be moved to Main Interlude at a later point. It's also been stated that there'll be other events going on during this time period (most likely evocation festival/interlude drops/some other campaigns).

[spectrumgarden]

I keep thinking about how no one seems to think about nuance when it comes to like, the concept of "autistic traits / symptoms" and discussing them, and how that is intertwined with the push to not consider it a disability. And its complex to discuss, but here's my convoluted thoughts. I know it's long but I hope people will take the time to read it.

There are in fact people who do fit some commonly associated with autism traits that are not impaired by them. Let's make up a guy, for a second:

They like routine and repetition a lot but easily handle change in them. For example they wear the same set of clothes for years with no desire to ever branch out, but if you made them wear something else they wouldnt really be bothered by it as long as they dont think it's super ugly, etc. They like to watch the same movies over and over but happily agree to watch other things with their friends when spending time together, and are engaged and interested in those movies. Etc. They speak very formally or choose "complicated" words for things that could be expressed easier. They however do not face problems with communication beyond annoyance of others because they're able to rephrase things easily to be understood, and they also have a normal back and forth in conversations and initiate conversations normally. They sometimes engage in subtle self stimulating behaviors and recognize the desire to do so during boring or stress inducing times (which pretty much everyone does, btw). They dislike loud environments but do not respond with melt- or shutdowns or any other "severe" reactions, and while for example preferring to go to a museum over a club, they easily go through their daily life in busy areas like city centers, shops or cultural events like parades without issues beyond like, mild annoyance and no desire to stay for longer than necessary. They have strong interests in seemingly random topics and spend quite some time researching or engaging with those, but they do not view the world through the lense of said interest, they do not neglect caring for themselves or fulfilling academic or professional responsibilities because they are so engrossed in their interests, they are easily able to hold conversations about other topics. I could go on.

This person would not be diagnosed with autism by any doctor who pays attention to the impairment clause of the diagnosis. They would probably be told "you're subclinical / you do not meet enough criteria / ..." While his person would probably relate quite a bit to (parts of) descriptions of (level 1 and / or low support needs and / or high masking) autism. And this is an imaginary person I made up, but these people obviously exist (and as a side note, are probably what people refer to when they talk about "everyone being a little autistic" etc)

And this person being told they're not autistic might be upset. Because clearly, they have so many autistic traits. They relate to so many videos! But the thing is! There is no impairment! The one thing that connects all of the symptoms related to autism to the actual diagnosis. This does not mean they do not in fact relate to the autistic experience. This does not mean these parts of their life or personality are fake / non existent / not important to who they are and how they experience things. But it is important to differentiate. If they consider themselves autistic, if the world considers them autistic, it waters down the definition to a point of being categorically useless from a medical standpoint, from a standpoint of figuring out who needs support and in what ways. Who needs (early) intervention, who needs extra support in school or at work or at home or in public.

And like. Humanity at large will probably always want to shove themselves into random categories. "Which character are you like?" "What is your personality style?" "What is your star sign?" or "which sports team do you support", and countless more come to mind. I dont think this imaginary person is wrong or silly for wanting to find a category of people they are like, or recognizing this similarity with some autistic people. I wouldnt even mind if they made up a non-clinical category / group of people who relate to autistic experiences without the impairment. It would get the point across that it is a group of people with shared experiences, but it is not the same as autism.

However autism is increasingly treated like something thats just a personality type without impairment, by people online and offline. And when they go "this is an autism symptom" without nuance, without looking at the need for impairment, or even differential diagnosis, it spreads that attitude. "Liking to eat the same foods is an autistic trait"... or is it normal to have food preferences to a degree if it does not cause you stress to eat new foods, if you are capable of eating other food if hungry and presented with them and not the food you prefer? Or is this person anorexic and their mind has created categories of "allowed to eat" and "not allowed to eat" based on arbitrary categories relating to their fear of weight gain? "Only eating with small spoons at home is a common autistic trait"... or is it a harmless preference as long as you are still able to eat food outside a strict routine set up with zero possible deviations? Or is it a person with OCD and eating with small spoons is a compulsive behavior for some sort of intrusive thoughts?

I could go on forever. But in the end, these short sentences are all the same. They are, at the same time: autistic experiences and allistic experiences, because they are so non specific. They are watered down and any additional information is removed.

autism is about a specific combination of experiences that impair you. That's literally all it is. It does not automatically turn us into a category of "other" that is fully not possible to relate to, because we are human too. And some of it will be relatable to people that are not autistic!

And there is value in discussions of experiences of autistic people that go beyond the impairment, as long as we do not forget about it, or treat it as secondary instead of the defining factor. I dont mind if autistic people bond over something they're not impaired by, that they see as a common experience, for example not easily going along with authority. Being creative. Preferring the small spoon (without being impaired by it while having other impairments), whatever, and call those common autistic experiences. But those are not the pillars of what make up autism and solely relating to them should not be your reason for calling yourself autistic. Neither should relating to commonly impairing symptoms without being impaired by your version of them. The impairments resulting from abnormal development are what makes someone autistic.

There needs to be more nuance, detail, when discussing autism symptoms. And the push to, at the very least, expand autism into an area of experiences that do not cause impairment of any kind, or worse claim it never caused impairment, need to stop. It does not help anyone.

I genuinely think part of the whole "everyone is autistic these days" crowd who likes to go after people and invalidate them has picked up on some of this, but they lack the skills to criticize it for what it actually is and / or they want there to be a simple solution, which is that everyone who calls themselves autistic online who does not fit their very stereotypical view is faking. They are wrong of course. But I dont think this comes out of nowhere. There is something to criticize about how autism is treated in many circles, especially among younger people.

I'm really not sure how to end this post because I like to come to some conclusions on my long posts but just. Uhm. The way some people treat "autistic traits" as completely unrelated to the impairment they cause while staying exclusively autistic traits is wrong. The way people try to redefine autism is harmful and in the end not needed because they could simply invent other words for that experience.

[doctorsiren]

added 6 more hours to my sad/soft piano/soundtrack playlist on spotify

[purpleshadow-star]

It's Valentines Day but it's also Ash Wednesday so uhh... some headcanons about that second thing.

Tilda wasn't super religious, but she'd drag Aaron to church every so often when he was growing up

After Tilda, Aaron doesn't actively practice religion much, but he'll do some things like get ashes on Ash Wednesday and observe lent

Nicky and Renee go to get their ashes together every year with a silent Aaron grumpily tagging along

They go in the morning after morning work out, but before their classes start, so once afternoon practice is over, they all end up with just a smudge of black on their foreheads

After living with Aaron and Nicky and a few other Christian households over the years, Andrew has gotten into the habit of not eating meat on Fridays during lent

Abby is also Christian, but she doesn't go to Church much and gets her ashes at a separate time than the Foxes

During lent, Abby will sometimes invite the Foxes over to her house for a seafood dinner on Fridays

Abby doesn't usually give anything up for lent, but Renee, Nicky and Aaron do

The girls' last year before they graduate, Renee gives up sweets for lent, and Andrew makes sure to eat twice the amount of candy around her just to be annoying

Nicky gives up alcohol and complains at least five times a day (and almost gives in on some particularly hard nights), but he manages to make it to the end without giving in

Andrew suggests that Aaron give up Katelyn for lent during a joint session with Bee, and he is not amused

Aaron ends up giving up video games, and he complains about it just as much as Nicky complains about the alcohol, but he also makes it to the end without giving in

Andrew walks into practice on Ash Wednesday and tells Wymack in a deadpan voice that he gave up exy for lent so he can't play. Wymack knows Andrew doesn't observe lent and makes him change out with everyone else, but Neil cracks up at the incredulous look Wymack has for the second before he calls Andrew out on it and that makes the extra lap (that Andrew doesn't actually do) worth it to Andrew

Neil makes a joke about Andrew giving up ice cream even though he knows Andrew doesn't officially observe lent, and Andrew doesn't talk to him for five hours out of spite

[ocala-is-calling]

She melts my heart 🥹

[shesmore-shoebill]

making a new post bc the last one is getting a little long but. what if i admitted i was contemplating the best way to incorporate amangela into the hypothetical charasha spies au. what then.

[moe-broey]

Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌

Inspo under cut!!!

[angelnumber27]

I dont think some people understand how truly awful and hellish withdrawals from some psych medications are.

[cathalbravecog]

first thing i drew on my new tablet to test it out is the tv beast themselves

[starrysharks]

the urge to make public character playlists for my little guys...