#started going to bed at 2am instead of 10pm. except it takes me like an hour and a half to two hours to fall asleep each night

[rileys-battlecats]

*guy that hasn't slept properly in several days voice* damn why am i so tired

[mingtease]

Finally at Home ; part one

Genre ; smut mentions, fluff, angst themes mentioned

Pairing ; Vampire!Jongho x reader ft. Incubus!San and Incubus!Seonghwa

A/N; I hope this is good @actuallythatwaspromise omo

Jongho’s kingdom isn’t very strict when it comes to rules. His family and kingdom are the less strict type of vampires. However you need rules in order to rule a kingdom without chaos. One big rule, is that everyone has a curfew. Children 10 and under must be in their houses by 10pm, while anyone older than 10 must be in their houses by 12am. This rule was only set in place for protection of course. There’s demons, witches, and other evil entities that roam the night. Jongho doesn’t feel like dealing with his people’s deaths caused by something that can easily be avoided. He also hates having to send a letter to Heaven or Hell when a person dies apologizing for allowing evil spirits to kill under his ruling without warning from fate. It’s almost impossible to avoid this rule, as there must be at least hundreds of guards that are spread throughout the kingdom.

You and your friends decided to test this rule however. You have 4 friends, there’s a friend who wears purple, Kylie, who was the rebel of you all, a friend who wears blue, Jessi, and just goes along with the flow, an innocent friend, Kei, who would never harm a fly, and then there’s you and your friend who wears yellow, Mina, you both act like parents to your group. Tonight was an exception however, as you were all about to take a big risk.

You’ve heard of a certain incubus, San, that loves multiple people at once, and sometimes brings along his friend Seonghwa. Though you all knew it was dangerous, you’ve also heard how good of a time San always provides. So naturally, you decided to summon him after Kylie convincing you all. San is very aware of Jongho’s rules, and decided to mess with you guys a little. He said he would only give you all a good time and bring Seonghwa if you met him in the forest at 1am. Then he disappeared, leaving you all excited for the night ahead. The thrill excited you all, knowing the trouble you could get in, but also the pleasure San and Seonghwa could give.

“Are you ready?” Kylie asks everyone, smirking. We all nod our heads and look at one another, only to see Kei trembling slightly. “I-I don’t know if this is right.. San is doing this on purpose. He wants us to get in trouble!” You glance at your innocent friend, who was opposed to it all in the first place. You roll your eyes at her. “C’mon, you know how much San loves corrupting innocent people, you’d be his favorite of us all.” You wink at her as her eyes go wide. You all head to the backdoor, making sure to be careful and quiet.

Once you get outside, you let out hushed giggles as you run quietly to the forest south of the Kingdom. You get to the forest and have to cover your mouths from giggling, looking around for San or Seonghwa. “We’re here San!” Jessi says in a hushed yelling tone. Suddenly, you all stop at stare Kei, as San slowly approaches her from behind. She looks at you all worried and confused. As she’s about to speak up, San quickly wraps his hands around her waist and pulls her in. She lets out a squeak and San chuckles against her neck. “I’ve been waiting for you especially, sweetheart.”

He lifts up her nightdress as her emotions jumble for whether she should be turned on or scared. As if reading her mind, he pushes her onto the bed of leaves, getting in between her legs. Quiet whines escape her lips as he starts to kiss her neck slowly and sensually. He motions for Jessi to sit down. She smiles at you and gets down, spreading her legs for him. San starts rubbing her through her panties, letting the monas spill from her lips. “Ohhh Seonghwa~” he calls out, before returning to your innocent friend’s neck. Two hands grab your hips and you gasp. Your friends chuckle at you. You’ve all never felt so rebellious before.

“Good evening dear.” Seonghwa whispers in your ear. Shivers go down your spine and you smile at the nickname. His touch was like nothing you’ve felt before. He kisses your neck softly, biting down leaving a mark. He moves to your panties and slips a hand in. You moan out in pleasure, not paying attention to your other friends who are all being given attention by San. “S-Seonghwa” you whimper, causing him to growl slightly. “I want you so bad, y/n. Forever.”

Before you can ask him what he meant, a light suddenly shines in your direction, and all of your hearts stop. Seonghwa and San disappear as quickly as they came, San taking Kei with him. “NO!” Kylie yells as your innocent friend disappears. You try to shush her but you already hear the yell of the guards and running towards you. You all start running half naked in the opposite direction, panting in fear. A strong hand grabs your waist, you look up to see Seonghwa. “Come with me. Grab my hand and I can teleport you.” He reaches out his hand. “Where did San take her? Where will you take me?” He looks at you with an annoyed expression. “Hell. We’re demons, duh.” You shake your head. “If I go to Hell now then I can never go into Heaven for my afterlife though!” As he’s about to protest, guards circle around you, immediately wrapping an echancted knot around Seonghwa, so he won’t be able to teleport or use his powers. You’re dragged off your feet as they take you both to the castle. Seonghwa is surprisingly calm through it all, so you try too, though you can’t help but to let out cries and whimpers. Your heart beats faster as you enter the castle doors, knowing that though the castle isn’t strict, breaking the rules have serious consequences. You are dragged the main ballroom of the castle, where the thrones lie. You’re both thrown in front of Jongho’s throne.

You look up at the handsome man before you. Jongho sits on his dark red velvet throne. His dark hair is slicked back, chin resting on his hand as he looks down at you. A smirk is plastered on his lips. You’re trying to calm your breathing, not wanting to know what is coming next. “Seonghwa,” he turns to look at him “was San with you?” Seonghwa nods with a smirk. Jongho sighs, knowing exactly what that meant. “I'm assuming it was all San’s idea then,” He gets up and walks over to me. “Therefore you are dismissed Seonghwa. Go to Hongjoong and we’ll deal with San later.” He takes my face in his hands “As for you dear, come with me please.” The Guards stared in confusion as usually he would just have young girls spend 2 nights in the dungeon for breaking the rules. Or drinks their blood, depends on whether or not he’s hungry. As you get up, he takes your hand and leads you throughout the palace. His touch was gentle yet firm, cold yet warming. 

The dark red and black theme was common, finished with gothic paintings and other decor. “Was it just you, San, and Seonghwa?” He asks, cocking his eyebrow. Your breath hitched, not wanting to rat out your friends, but remembering he took your innocent friend. “N-No, there was one of my other friends, but San took her.” He hums, making a mental note to contact Hongjoong later and deal with San himself instead since he has one of Jongho’s citizens. He leads you to a medium sized room, with two chairs and a couch, a desk and desk chair off to the side, books resting on the shelves along with beautiful old decor. A study? Or perhaps an office?

Your thoughts are interrupted when he motions you to sit on the chair, as he sits on the one across from it. “It's very late” he glances at the clock “2am to be precise.” He shifts in his seat, staring you dead in the eye. “My dear, Humans can’t protect themselves from demons, vampires, werewolves, or anything evil.” His tone was soft, despite the stern look on his face. “I hate it when people in my kingdom go missing or die. I really hate it when they die from them breaking my rules..” He walks over to you, at first you were scared but all fear melted away when he gently took your hand in his. “And I would’ve gone crazy, raising chaos if you went missing. Especially from San or Seonghwa taking you. I would’ve killed them” He turns his head and chuckles. “I would’ve gotten in a lot of trouble with Hell, all for you.” He pulls you up to stand up with him. He lightly strokes your cheek, making your heart flutter in multiple ways. “My dear y/n, my dear mate, you went on to fill your desires with Seonghwa and San...” he pauses and smiles “and yet I would still raise all hell for you.” Before you had time to process anything, he kissed your lips gently. His hands travel down your body until they reach your waist. A feeling of content washes over you, and you feel at home. A feeling people only get when you kiss the one you were meant to be with. He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours, you can see his smile which causes you to blush.

“How long have you known I’m your mate?” You ask, cocking your head to the side. Only ever hearing about mates being so rare to find, even more rare for a human and a vampire to be mates. Human and demon, human and werewolf, and just two vampires the most known and found combos. He chuckles yet again and smiles at you, “Since you were born… I was attracted to your smell, and I didn’t want to suck your blood. Just wanted to make you mine.” He walks to the side of the room. “ I didn’t tell anyone but Hongjoong, since his mate is his maid, also human… He’s a demon though, so it’s different” He looks down then up at you “There’s a lot that we have to talk about, Whether or not you want to live here, stay with your parents, be turned…” his voice lowers the more he spoke “But, that’s for later!” he hesitates for a moment before speaking up again “Stay with me tonight, I will have my messenger inform your parents of your whereabouts and to meet us here tomorrow.”

You look at him confused. “Stay with you tonight? But why?”

He sighs and puts his large hands on your face delicately. “Because I’m so happy that you can finally be in my life” 

‘but will the happiness last forever?’ Seonghwa thinks as he sits on the tree, staring in at you and Jongho. San is by his side, holding his pet serpent. They glare at the scene before them. Who said mates are limited to just one other being?

[asbiecat]

Writing a fiction series is like herding cats.

All right, here’s part two of how to make a book! This is entirely about how plans are completely pointless sometimes, and what I do to actually get the words on the page – and then make the words make sense after they’ve been thrown up.

 Most of my ‘drama’ was created by sitting there going, “Hmmm… this character/these characters are really happy. What can I do to make them miserable? Good. How are they gonna react? Is that too much? Yes? No? Hey, Shawn, what do you think of this?” Sometimes he offers even worse things, sometimes he says it’s too much. It varies. :)

 A lot of times I just put the characters in situations and see what they do. Sometimes Shawn and Megg, who know everyone as well as I do anymore, go, “This character wouldn’t do that,” and I go, “You’re right. REDO.”

 I have gotten and taken (and passed on as well) a lot of advice for plot development, conflicts, battles, and relationship development from my readers. This is because I ask for feedback all the time. I’ve personally had one romantic relationship in my entire life, never been abused (just harassed), and participated in zero weapon fights (as long as you don’t count LARP, which I do not). However, I’ve read a lot, watched a lot, heard a lot, and have a very active imagination – and I’m very open to suggestions. Not all of them work for what I’ve built, but if I hear a good idea that I just can’t use right now, I write them down to consider later. My books are not built around a vague main character that could be anyone – or that the reader can sit themselves inside of like a ride, so I can’t just bend the characters to places they wouldn’t normally go. Even when put in extraordinary circumstances, like they usually are, they have to stay true to themselves. My editors and early readers keep the train on the tracks.

 My preferred location to write: on the couch or at my desk, in the dark with the screen brightness on my laptop turned down, usually wearing a hoodie with the hood up so you can barely see my face. Sometimes I wear fingerless gloves, but my current computer is a gaming computer that gives off heat, so that hasn’t been necessary for a while. I do most of my writing from 10pm-2am, because by then I’ve done enough chores and the girls are in bed. This is a lot harder to do now that I work at 8am, but I’m bad and recently started drinking coffee (yeah, I’ve been a writer for 17 years and just this year started drinking coffee).

 I also do a lot of editing on my phone anymore, because I’m away from my computer so much. I read things in Word on my phone, and then copy out lines that I need to fix and paste them into OneNote with my notes about what’s wrong with it. This is synced so I can just grab it on my laptop without having to hook my phone up to it, and then make the edits when I’m at my laptop.

 I used to write in notebooks when I’m on the go. I’ve filled several of those half-sized notebooks (they fit in purses better than full-sized ones and are easier to hide). I still carry one, but I type so much faster than I handwrite, and I know that I’ll just have to retype it later, so I usually don’t bother anymore. It’s also easier to get a good, natural flow for things when you’re typing it. It’s not as fast as my thoughts, but it’s a lot closer.

 I also have terrible handwriting – mostly a result of my brain moving faster than my hands can move. Related, I have mild carpal tunnel. It was only ever really bad when I was pregnant with my first kid, but if I strain my wrists too much I’ve gotta wear braces for a bit. This is a terrible thing to have for someone who writes, draws, sews, and just in general makes so many things with her hands. It doesn’t stop me though, just makes me whine while I keep doing everything anyway.

 I reread stuff I’ve written CONSTANTLY (except The Dark. I don’t read it anymore because the amount of changes I want to make to it are just too numerous – it mentally exhausts me), and I’m almost always making tweaks, edits, and updates, but lately I’ve been reading The Haven and The Hunt to see how the characters were interacting in them, now that I know how they’re going to develop ten years down the line (The Shield/The Streets). Sometimes it surprises me, the subtle things that were in there that I don’t remember consciously choosing to put down. I’m pretty sure I’m just ghost-writing for a bunch of fictional people. I only think I have control over this.

 One example is the sexuality of one of my characters. When I first wrote the stuff, I was a Catholic grade school kid. You know, uniform and everything. Obviously, everyone was just straight then, even if it wasn’t implicitly stated. Then I got older, and the characters stayed the age they were – and when I was finally older than they were, it kind of shocked me. I wrote these people in their early twenties when I was thirteen. I’d been through college, and was in the adult workforce now – and the group of people I called friends was more diverse than the group of people in my head that had been my companions for over a decade.

 The Haven was already done, but The Hunt and the rest of the series was still fluid, so I decided that I needed to change some stuff up. There was no reason that many of the couples I had yet to establish needed to be the way they were. Two of my early readers pointed out that one of the established couples made no sense, so I completely deleted any reference to their relationship (which I agree was contrived, and not organic), and ended up putting one of those people with someone else – that they were a far better match with. The other half of that split couple, if I ever think she can heal enough to trust someone else, will probably be with a woman – certainly not a man. She’ll never trust men enough to do that.

Also, I had been kicking around the sexuality of one of the main characters of The Haven for a bit, not really able to decide what I wanted him to be. Realizing I had a lack of diversity, I figured, why not make him gay? It actually added a lot of character and color to his story, and explained a lot of things I had made part of his character already.

 There’s another pair in The Hunt that was always ‘a thing’ but never to the extent I have now declared them to be. Because I gave the trio in this book so much attention, I had to really dive into their characters in a way that I never had before. Ignoring this was not possible anymore, so as I wrote I was entertained by both the conflict and the unexpected harmony they had. They pretty much hijacked my attention the whole book – especially because at the end of it even I wasn’t sure how to make it turn out.

 Also in that book, one of the characters is bisexual. He didn’t start that way. He started off as just a player who flirted with a lot of girls, but then I made him flirt with a guy to pass the time and was shocked to see the outcome. I say this like I was reading someone else’s book… but that’s exactly how it went. I just sat back and said, “Uh, are we doing this, guys? I guess we are… Well, here goes then!” After I finished writing I went back and searched throughout the book to see if I had to fix anything regarding the bi character that I didn’t realize was bi, and to my surprise, all references he had previously made to his sexuality were very ambiguous. He’d always said that he wanted to settle down eventually, but not yet, and had never once declared a gender for the person he was looking for. The only time someone declared what he was, it was someone that was not him, so I just adjusted that line, and voila, he’s bi, like he apparently wanted. Seriously, I don’t really control this, I’m just herding cats.

 By the way, my previous publisher questioned the intimacy of Malk and Traphian’s relationship in The Haven and wanted to make them a little more manly. I resisted this, because doing so would detract from what I wanted of them in that book. I also resisted this because it humored me that Malkarai and Traphian were apparently threatening to masculinity, and I am all for threatening the shit out of that, ha. If anyone had any doubts about how tough Traphian is, they’re seriously insecure.

 When I first wrote Division 53 in the early 00s (I called it The Dark Series then) the plot was not overarching and unifying throughout the series. It was just a literal series of books with the same setting, and was set up kind of as a set of a trilogy (Dark, Manhunt, Reign of the A*******, with a bonus prequel, Prodigy), a pair (Streets, System), and a single book (Ripper). I’ve since put in a pervasive plot, recurring villains, developed way more of the characters into main instead of supporting characters, split Manhunt into The Haven and The Hunt (+ a lot of things that didn’t exist before), deleted Reign entirely, added two books (The Shield, The Conspiracy), removed the prequel, and made the stories more mature in many ways. 90% of the fights in the series have been written, brand new, in the last two years.

 I learned a lot about writing in grade school, high school, and college, but even though I spent a large portion of the high school and college years figuring out how to get published, I’ve learned the most about writing work for publishing and public consumption in the past three years. I’ve learned to let go of things for the sake of pacing, to rewrite and not get so attached to things, and to take all opinions worth a grain of salt, professionals and amateurs alike. This knowledge is why I don’t read The Dark anymore. I know that I need to sit down and rewrite a lot of it to make it stand next to the rest of the books on equal footing. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t as good as I could make it today. I’m trying not to look backward for now. A new version of it can always be released in the future, but I need to tell the rest of the story first.

[pinksausageduo]

hwang minhyun|my rival to my husband

member: hwang minhyun genre: fluffy summary: you and minhyun started off as rival co workers fighting for the CEO position and end up dating and eventually getting married requested: yes

you were part of a super successful law firm

there were two sections of the law firm, one for big businesses which took care of contracts and a bit of finance and another for private expensive lawsuits and you were the head of the private lawsuits

then there was your boss who was the CEO of the whole firm

when he decided to retire, the heads of the two sections basically had to battle it out for the CEO position

the other head was a polite but cold man, his name was

Hwang Minhyun

you and minhyun always had a tense relationship always trying to be better than one another because of the competition between the sections

that competition only increased as the CEO position was up for grabs

instead of exchanging your normal somewhat friendly greetings and making small talk when you have to talk to each other

it ended up being awkward silences, a few glares and tight lipped smiles

both of you were working your asses off to get this position but the CEO had such a hard time choosing because

you were known to be super friendly and outgoing, being a great head since you were nice but you were also very organised and made sure everyone did their work

but since you were more understanding and caring it was hard for you to fire people even if they were slacking off on their work especially because most people just had things that have to do with family

minhyun had a different way of running his section

he was extremely organised, through and strict

he was polite but very quiet, he was also extremely handsome

you heard many of your co workers fan over him

you understood where they were coming from, with his perfect skin, jet black hair, pink lips, a tall frame all wrapped up in a black suit day in and out

but you didn’t have time for a man at all, you were completely focused on your career and no guy you’ve met could understand that

you haven’t gone a date since college which was 3 years ago

your career was skyrocketing and now the CEO position was open with only one person between you and that position you were determined to get it

one day your CEO called you into his office, as you entered you saw minhyun but you knew your CEO wasn’t telling you who’s replacing him because he said he’ll announce it in a month

as you enter your eye catches minhyun’s and for a split second you felt butterflies, you brush it off thinking it’s just nerves

your CEO for your final assignment it’s decided that you and minhyun would work on a case together

you were about to protest but looking at minhyun smiling politely and saying it was a great idea and that he’d love to work with you

you whispered under your breath “suck up”

but you gritted your teeth and smiled and said half heartedly that it’s a great idea

as you were leaving you heard minhyun say quietly to you “i might be a suck up but you’re completely incompetent which means i’m definitely getting this position”

he smirks at you arrogantly and leaves quickly

you look at him leaving incredulously not believing how rude he was but you also admit you were a bit of a bitch saying he was a suck up

you also thought you said it quietly enough for you to hear and no one else

but you didn’t know how much you hurt his pride by saying he was a suck up, he just wanted to do well

you’re standing there dumbfounded but also hurt that he said you were incompetent especially because of how much work you put in

you kept what he said to yourself feeling extremely embarrassed that he said that

but minhyun on the other hand ranted to minki, jonghyun, dongho and youngmin

“she’s so annoying and rude, like calling me a suck up really?! like i’m not am i?” dongho just said that he was smirking and minhyun rolled his eyes

“but afterwards i was bit too harsh to her like i called her incompetent”

he basically went back and forward of being mad at you and feeling bad

anyways you end up seeing minhyun a lot because of the case

you guys just split the work in half and decided to meet up when it was necessary

it was always strained, cold and extremely short meetings but one night everyone had left except for you and him

you both still had to finish all your work as heads and then work on the case on top of it all

you end up working in the same meeting room because you need to ask each other a few things about the case and then you both would go back to typing super fast

you get a notification that your pizza arrived, and you’re so happy you needed pizza you were sooo hungry 

you dash out of meeting room as fast you can while taking off your heels, so you can run, flinging them behind you

minhyun is just extremely confused as he sees you bolt out of the room

you come back with a pizza box which smells amazing to him since he still hasn’t eaten dinner and it was 10pm

you also have two cans of soda with you

he looks at you in shock and surprise, knowing one’s for him

you smile brightly at him, not caring about the rude comment he made or the strained conversations because he’s working as late as you and you knew he had no dinner

plus he’s doing so much work, you really admire his determination and work ethic, and he really shouldn’t do it on an empty stomach

you say to him sweetly “here’s some pizza, i know you haven’t eaten all night and if you’re like me, you’re gonna be here for a few more hours”

you add apologetically “sorry it’s not beer, I don’t really drink”

he shyly smiles at you being taken aback from your kindness being extremely surprised by who you actually were

before he thought you slacked off on your work, socialised too much, and was also rude from the comment you made

you completely dismissed those thoughts from him, working as much as he did and really long hours as well, he saw how well organised you were and you got him some pizza even after what he said to you

his heart can’t help but get suddenly quicker as he looked at you and realised how pretty you are

how your eyes lighted up when you smiled and how you look so cute with you hair in a bit of a mess and small coffee stains on your shirt

he finally finds his words “oh no, i don’t really drink either, there was this one time i tried beer and i nearly choked” he ended with a chuckle

THE HITE COMMERCIAL IS A LIE MINHYUN A LIE

your heart unexpectedly flutters as you hear his soft laugh you scold yourself telling yourself you can’t like him you’re competing with him

plus you needed to be focused on your career and a guy can not come into the equation 

anyways you both eat pizza and drink soda and just have a great time, talking about work, hobbies, family, friends, your old schools

you both ended up sitting next to each other, helping each other with the different parts of the case

whenever your hands brushed against each other or you super close with each other both of your hearts speed up

and minhyun blushing lightly saying how hot it was in the room

you both end up leaving at 2am, spending a few more hours to talk than you both planned

as you get home you called your best friend and talk about how such an amazing guy minhyun is and how he completely understands you

and she’s like what?? isn’t this the guy you hated like a day ago and you were like whatever he’s amazing now

minhyun gets back to his apartment where minki was sprawled over the couch since he just got back from a party

minki looks at him for a second confused then screams ‘WHO IS SHE???”

minhyun replies “what, she? i’m confused”

minki rolls his eyes and says “the girl who’s making you like a lovesick puppy”

“seriously minki i do not look like a lovesick puppy but it’s the girl i was complaining about earlier, we spent the night-NO NOT IN THAT WAY WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE- but she’s super sweet and just beautiful”

“whatever you say minhyun-ah, but she got you wrapped around her finger” minki teased

“arghhhh, minkiiii, i’m just gonna go to bed” minhyun said while ruffling his hair in frustration

anyways

these sort of nights become a regular thing for you two

you both end up falling for each other, like a lot a lot 

you literally stare at each other in meetings, and when you meet eye contact both of you blush or it’s like you guys making funny faces the whole time

the thing is both of you know you like each other but it’s just something you both don’t talk about LIKE NEVER cause you’re shy beans

you guys finish the case and it ends up being such a success

the CEOnim asks you two since you both performed so well you both could have a joint CEO position

you two both agree happily and after all the papers are signed

you jump into minhyun’s arms exclaiming how happy you are and he beams back at you saying he’s so glad that you can share the position to

you both suddenly realise how close you are to each other

he whispers to you “y/n can i kiss you?”

your heart explodes and you give him a small nod and a smile

he gives you a sweet and soft kiss on the lips it was short but you loved it  it felt so right and you felt all warm and fuzzy inside

he starts speaking again “as you can tell i like you, like so much and i have since the night you brought me pizza, so will you be my girlfriend?”

he can’t meet your eyes and is face his bright red you giggle softly at the sight

you cups his face gently and look at him directly in the eye

“i’d love to be your girlfriend minhyun.”

he smiles a bright smile and you can’t help but admire the way his eyes crinkle up as he does

he hugs you tightly, him remembering the scent of you and how you fit perfectly in his arms

anyways you guys date for about a year before he pops the question

lol don’t kill me for skipping so much it’s gonna be too long if i do it all

you guys end up moving in together in the apartment which is provided for the CEO of the company

dates with him consisted of like amazing dinner and movie dates, walks and picnics in the park, or just cuddling up on the sofa with your favourite pizza and soda

the whole joint CEO system worked super well

your personalities balanced each others perfectly

minhyun also became much more friendly and open because of you

you were like a little sister to all the nu’est guys and they always sided with you instead of minhyun

“youngmin oppaaaa minhyun won’t let me eat his chocolate” you say pouting to youngmin

“YAH! HWANG MINHYUN GIVE Y/N YOUR CHOCOLATE, SHE NEEDS TO EAT!!!” he shouts at minhyun

“HYUNGGG WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE HER SIDE??” minhyun complains

“BECAUSE I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU” youngmin retorts while scoffing

you open your mouth cutely and minhyun feeds you a chocolate trying to be pissed off but he fails at not smiling when he saw you moan how good it was he laughed super loudly

anyways it was just a random night and you and minhyun doing your favourite date, cuddling, eating pizza and watching netflix

as you were on the couch, you notice there was no pizza and you asked minhyun where the pizza box was and he replied “this box?”

you gasp as you saw the small velvet box

he got down on one knee and smiles at you he starts to talk sweetly to you

“y/n exactly one year ago, i fell in love with you, you brought me pizza and a can of soda remember? so a year later here i am completely devoted and madly in love with you. you are my other half and i can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else so y/n will you be my wife, mrs minhyun hwang?”

as he finished, you started crying and said “YES! YES! YES! minhyun i love you so much, i truly couldn’t imagine my life without you”

he slides the ring up your fourth finger

your hug him super tightly feeling like the happiest person in the world

time skip after the wedding cause you’re really lazy author is NOT BOTHERED i’m sorry okayyyy still love meee

your wedding was amazing, it was super small and very low key, with only your closest friends and family for a short ceremony and the reception was a fancy meal

the vows exchanged were super sweet and everyone at the wedding could see the love radiating from you two

you decided not to go on a honeymoon because of how busy you were both at the company

your marriage was amazing the best way to describe it is comfortable

you both helped each other so much at work and at home

you would work like such a well oiled machine at work you’d be across from each other offices

always bringing each other coffee and drinks

being the ultimate couple in your company

doing like work 2x faster because of each other

you’d both get to work and drive back at home at the same time since minhyun loves driving you two

you’d sometimes just go on a detour to like mcdonalds to get dinner

or like drive around the city

at home everything is super nice like you’d do the chores together (mostly minhyun tbh) and like have so much fun doing it

cooking was extremely simple because both of you didn’t know how to cook

when both of you tried to cook it would be a complete disaster which ended up both of you getting head to toe covered in different ingredients or something burning

‘MINHYUN WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ADD THE ICING SUGAR INTO THE ICING NOT THE CAKE BATTER!!” you’d jokingly scream at him

“oopsie, would a kiss make it better?” he would say cutely

“no, make it again, i don’t want your kisses” you’d say jokingly pissed off

he’d wrap your arms around you giving you a back hug

“ohhhh come onnn, hmmm how about tickling?” then he’d tickle you and you’d burst out laughing

he’d tickle you so much you end up spilling the cake batter all over you him

“oopsieee” you say sweetly, smiling cheekily

and minhyun looks at you in disbelief and then he throws an egg at you smirking at you as you look at him in fake shock

which basically ends up into a huge food fight

moving on

you guys love cuddling up on the couch whether it ended up with you two doing work or just watching netflix it was just nice to have each other there

the favourite bit of your day was when both of you were about to sleep

and you’d just be in minhyun’s arms and you could hear his steady heartbeat

you just felt so loved and happy when you were with him

whether that was at work or at home, night or day it really didn’t matter because he was so completely in love with you and you were too

you knew that you would be one of those lucky couples which grew old together not only because of your love but how you guys were best friends and how comfortable you guys were with each other

you knew

hwang minhyun will forever and always be your husband and you will always be his wife

IM SORRY FOR LIKE SKIPPING THE WEDDING & LIKE A LOT OF THE DATING. I HAVE A MAJOR MATHS TEST TOMORROW AND LIKE I DIDN’T REVISE AND WROTE INSTEAD lmao next few hours just gonna be revision.  I hope y’all still liked it tho even tho it was pre rushed. The request was actually just marriage life with minhyun but like i basically made it into an enemy to lovers to married couple so whoopsss. anon who requested hope you still like it!!! 

[den-xerw-giati-uparxw]

I'm in love

It was 9am and Dan was just staring at his bedroom's ceiling. He wasn't thinking of something specific, million thought were drilling his mind trying to make him go crazy at least for a bit today. He didn't want to, but he was certain that today wasn't going to be a good day for him. He had a feeling that he might do something so stupid or accidentally reveal his love to his best friend Phil and destroy their relationship. 4 days ago they were in America doing their first live show called "The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire" and now they are back in London. Dan took a deep breath and shook his head, he then realised that it was 9am.he got off bed and opened his bedroom's window and when he wore a black plain t-shirt and a pair of jeans and opened his door He went to the kitchen and saw Phil trying to figure out what to eat for breakfast " good morning Dan"said and smiled at him "Oh Good morning to you too Phil" Dan replied " *pause*Are you okay ? You seem like you didn't sleep at all." Said Phil, it was true Dan had barely gotten any sleep the previous night. His mind couldn't 'shut up', he hated when that happen "Yeah I am , I'm just still a little bit tired that's all" said and smiled at Phil "Okay then...what do you want to eat for breakfast?" "Its okay I'll make it on my own, but thanks anyway" "Okay , I'm going to make a cup of coffee and eat a cupcake" said Phil "Well I dont know if I want to eat breakfast ,to be honest I fell like my stomach is going to explode, if I eat something "  said Dan "Yeah but you have to eat something. Last time you ate properly  was 2 days ago when we were having breakfast. You're last proper meal was breakfast and we're eating breakfast now." Said Phil cautious about his friends body's and mental health. "Jeez Phil your not my mother and I'm not a little boy but, okay calm down I'm gonna eat a Apple and brink a cup of coffee." Said Dan and felt bad and strange about what he just said he didn't expect of Phil to react like that "L-look I'm sorry Dan, it's just I care about you and I'm worried. If you don't want to eat don't eat. You're right it's none of my business...either you it or not it would be the same for me." Lied Phil, of course and it was his business, he loved Dan and he wanted him to be healthy ,so even though they would never be together they could be happy and live their lives as friends. "No I'm sorry..." Then both Dan and Phil sat down and ate their breakfast without talking at all. 15 minutes later they finished and Phil washed the two cups. Dan was about to left the room when Phil spoke "Wait Dan, fans have uploaded vlogs when they were on our live show. Do you want to sit and watch their reaction with me?" "Emh...sure? Why not?" "Okay" They then took two small bottles of water and went to their recording room "So we'll watch some vlogs and then record a gameplay or edit something?" Asked Phil "I don't really know to be honest...I don't know if I want to record a gameplay right now." "Okay we'll just edit for half an hour and when we'll just binge watch a anime" said  Phil and smiled at the youngest man "Yeah I think that would be nice" Dan mumbled And so they did, but instead of editing for hald an hour or so they started editing a gameplay from the start ,it took them 4 whole hours and since today they had to upload a video they watched it for 2 or 3 time to be sure it's perfect and the uploaded it into their gaming channel. Dan really enjoyed doing things with Phil but he lately felt like he wasn't enough, he felt like Phil was 'taking care' of him because that was the 'right' thing to do and he actually felt like he was only an obstacle in Phil's life. I mean come one, would Phil even believe him if he said that he was in love with him? No! Their fans forced the ship right into their faces way  too much and Dan was certain that Phil would never believe him. [...] Now it's about 10pm and they just finished watching 2 season of an anime they found the other day "Wow we watched anime for 3 straight hours."said Dan and looked around to focus on something else despite the laptop screen on his lap "Yeah and the and anime  was so great and funny" said Phil and stood up and turned on the  lights "Yeah it was." Admitted Dan "Phil....stop with the light " he said and they both started laughing "Okay so do you want something to eat?" Asked Phil and closed the laptops screen "Not really, I just want to go to sleep. I don't know why I just feel really exhausted for some reason today and I've done nothing" "Okay and I can understand we all have our good and bad days, our ups and downs don't worry and go get some sleep. I'll probably do the same" said Phil and smiled at Dan "Okay that was sweet and cheesy at the same time but thanks. I  really appreciate it" said Dan and smiled back at Phil warmly and went to his bedroom , closed the door behind him and just lied in bed. Phil was really confused, he couldn't really understand his best friend's behaviour but he didn't want Dan to feel more weird and uncomfortable. It was true everyone had their ups and downs but Dan had them too many times. Yeah he had existential crisis but this wasn't Phil's problem, his problem was that Dan had these crisis say too many times per week and he was worried for him. Phil finally made himself fall asleep around 3am. [...] When Dan opened his eyes and saw the alarm clock by the side of his bed it was 7am in the morning. He stood up and walked to the closet. Put on some clothes took his jacket and phone and then silently made his way to the doorway. He felt really bad that he was about to attempt to run away from his apartment and from Phil but he felt even more uncomfortable when Phil was around and when he was trying to take care of him because he pittied him. So he did it , he unlocked the flat's door and c left the house  without saying anytning or without letting a note for Phil and then he left the whole building. It was really early in the morning for him to wake up or to even go outside but he knew that Phil usually wakes up around 9am so it would be easier. As always the weather was bitter, what did he except? It was 7am and he loves in London. "God it's chilling...I should have brought somethingelse with me" For over three hours he did nothing but walking around like he was a lost tourist that couldn't  go to Big Ben even if they could see it was like 4-5miles away. Then he just sat to a bunch to a park and just started listening to music. It's was 10am and Phil had just woke up . . He went to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee, then he cleaned the mess he made with the sugar and went to the lounge and just started scrolling down his social media and then the YouTube comments on his channel and their gaming channel. At first Phil didn't find it weird that Dan hadn't walked out of his bedroom because it was 10am and then 11am. He started worrying when it was around 2pm and Dan wasn't awake or showing and signs of being alive. He went outside Dan's door and knocked "Dan? Are you alright? *pause* are you sleeping? *sigh* it's almost 2pm , look I know yesterday was a bad way for you and I totally understand really but you have to live with  some seemingly unbearable things just like I have to do the same" said Phil and a sad expression replaced his happy one. "Okay I'm sorry but I'm coming in" said and opened the door to see an empty room, Dan wasn't anywhere. Phil rushed out of Dan's bedroom and went to the lounge, he picked his phone up and rang Dan's number. Dan didn't pick up the phone instead he rejected Phil's call "Come on Dan....where the hell are you?" Said Phil and say on the sofa Dan put his on mute and put in on his jacket pocket and started walking down the road without knowing where exactly to go Fastforword to 3 hour later when Phil is still in the apartment totally freaking out "I've called Dan 6 times, I've left him quite a lot of messages ( they were 20) okay I get that this might annoy him but why isn't he answering to his phone? It's not like he said he'd be off or something like that. He just disappeared without letting me know with at least a sticky note" said Phil kinda desperate. Dan felt really bad that he hadn't answer to any of Phil's calls or messages 6 hours later. *voice message* "Hey Dan, its 11pm and look I'm sorry if I did something  yesterday or in general, you know that I don't think too much when I do things around you. I'm sorry if I'm annoying you right now.....*pause* but you know what? No I'm not sorry at all. I care about you Dan, more than you think I do and if you don't want to talk to me just send a message or something. If you hate me just let me know okay? So I can know that your alive, I won't get over it easily but it would be nice to know why you run off without saying anything" Dan wanted to call Phil and let him know that he was alright but he thought that Phil would be extremely angry with him. It was 2am when he continued to walk and walk but this time he knew exactly where to go, back to the apartment and face an angry Phil that will scream at him. It took him an hour and a half to get back to their building. He took the elevator and opened the apartment door slowly. He silently made his way to the 3rd floor and saw the lounge's door open, we stepped inside and what he saw was Phil covered with a blanket and laying down on the sofa and staring at the celieng without any specific expression. "Hey....." Dan whispered at looked down "Oh my god you're alive! Thanks God. Dan!" Said Phil  Dan's voice put him back to reality because it was what he expected to hear for the last 7 hours "Phil I'm so so sorry..." said Dan because he couldn't think of anything else to say "look I know yesterday was a bad way for you and I totally understand really "Phil couldn't finish his sentence because he  started to tear down "Phil don't cry please, this is all my fault, I know and I feel awful aboit it. My mind want blank and I didn't know what else to do. But I really Am sorry I did something like that"said Dan and sat on the sofa right next to Phil. He really didn't know what to say, he knew it was entirely his fault that Phil was crying, it was his fault that he let his mind take over him, he was the one that wasn't answering his phone calls , he was the one that run away for 14 hours and made Phil feel sick,extremely worried and helpless. But after all he always was a disappointment and he would always be one. " *sniff*Dan, I care about you, more than you think I do but if you really hate me that much you can just say it. We said from the start that we would be honest when something bother us, of course you wouldn't tell me all your secrets and I wouldn't tell you all mine but if you hate me please tell me that right into my face" said Phil and wipped his tears "Phil, are you serious of course and I don't hate you. How would I hate my *pause* best friend?" ""Dan, you have to live with  some seemingly unbearable things just like I have to do the same. Okay? It might seem that you can't do it but eventually you'll learn how to live with him-it. Now I know I will sound like a parent but you have to face your problems and fear and not run away from them"said Phil and looked Dan right into the eyes "What do you mean "just like I have to do the same"?..." "Well uhm.... I wnat to say something actually..." said Phil and started looking around "I want to say something to you too..." said Dan and Phil stopped looking around "Do you want to say it together?" Asked Phil trying to make the atmosphere less awkward "Actually no...I don't think we want to say the same...can I start at least?" Said Dan "Sure" replied Phil and he would feel his heart because he didn't know what Can was about to say "Phil Lester we are friends for over 7 years now and I don't know how to thank you enough for being by my side to every stupid existential crisis I had in the past, I can't thank you enough for the moment that you made me laugh, I can't thank you enough for the joy that your bringing into my life by simply talking to me about games or anime everyday, I chat thank you enough for just listening me to me rant and mumbling all day" said Dan and a tiny laughter escaped his lips "Well I do t know what to say. Just thanks for being my friend, thanks for never letting me down,thanks for never stop believing in me and thanks for never turning your back on me" D&P:I'm in love with you When these small but really powerful words escaped their lips and immediately just hugged and smiled at one another "Thanks for everything Phil" "Thanks for everything Dan" ~THE END~

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Thinking about going plastic-free? This eco warrior's daily diary is all the inspo you need

http://fashion-trendin.com/thinking-about-going-plastic-free-this-eco-warriors-daily-diary-is-all-the-inspo-you-need/

Thinking about going plastic-free? This eco warrior's daily diary is all the inspo you need

If you care about the planet but have no idea how to help, you’re not alone.

New research from SodaStream revealed that 95% of Brits now believe they can personally make a difference to the plight of the planet, compared to just 36% in March 2017. Despite this, 6.2 million still haven’t made any effort to reduce their single-use plastic intake.

Legal & General Investment Management’s ‘Own Your World’ campaign reveals an impressive nine out of ten (92%) of the 18 to 55 year-olds surveyed said that minimising their impact on the environment is important, with 27% of under 35s saying it is *very* important.

Over half have pledged to buy less plastic bottles than this time last year and one third carry a reusable water bottle daily – in a bid to reduce the 19.2 million disposable bottles dumped in landfill every day *gasps*. We’re not just bottling it, as 79% are cutting down on supermarket 5p bags and half are saying no to plastic straws.

This is why you need to get behind World Oceans Day – and what we discovered will shock you

So if you’re hoping to jump on the plastic-free bandwagon, we’ve enlisted eco campaigner and zero waste advocate, Kate Arnell, to share a day in her plastic-free life in the hope that it will inspire you to do the same.

Plastic Free Guide

9 am – I enjoy reading a chapter or two of a book with a cup of coffee in bed for an hour. I work from home so I’m lucky I can set my own schedule. I brush my teeth using my wooden toothbrush and use a sprinkle of bicarbonate of soda bought from bulk (loose!) instead of toothpaste.

9:15 am – Breakfast time! I either have a bowl of organic oats with full fat organic milk that is delivered by my milkman in returnable glass bottles, or two organic fried eggs on toast. And I love coffee, so I buy the beans loose and grind them in my blender and enjoy a french press. No wasteful coffee pods!

11am – Shower up. I know, I have a weird routine, but I like showering mid-morning! I use a bar of soap instead of shower gel, a reusable stainless steel safety razor to shave and a shampoo bar to wash my hair. I’m obsessed with Beauty Kubes at the moment – plastic-free shampoo “kubes” that are made in Cornwall and work so well! To condition my hair I rinse with diluted apple cider vinegar… I know it sounds really hippie and I never thought I’d be someone who uses vinegar on my hair, but it works.

I trialled an eco-friendly shampoo bar and here’s what happened…

For deodorant I pat on some bicarbonate of soda. Some people have a reaction to this, like my husband, so he uses a bicarb-free deodorant that we buy in a compostable cardboard tube by Meow Meow Tweet. I also use an organic body butter that comes in a compostable cardboard container. Some people love to DIY their own beauty products – I’ve tried but it’s not my skill set, so instead, I use a few simple kitchen cupboard swaps and buy the rest. Acalaonline.com is a new site selling plastic-free beauty, which I love.

Makeup was one of the hardest things to find low-waste or plastic-free. I started out by simplifying and considered what I truly need: foundation, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick and bronzer. I managed to find an eye kohl by Fat & The Moon that works as both a mascara and an eyeliner and comes in a recyclable metal tin. I love it when a product is multi-purpose! The foundation I use is non-toxic and comes in a metal tin and I use cocoa powder as a bronzer, which I buy from bulk. The only product that comes with a bit of plastic is the lipstick I use but so far, I can’t find an alternative and only use it when I’m filming or at events. I look for brands that use a lot of organic ingredients and minimal plastic-free packaging.

Your ultimate guide to the difference between vegan, natural, organic, clean and fair trade beauty

11:30am – At this point, I’ll either continue with some work at the computer or sit down to film a video for my YouTube channel. I used to work as a TV presenter but after 10 years, work was getting scarce and I had recently discovered the Zero Waste Lifestyle. I wanted to share my experience via YouTube, especially as there weren’t many people in the UK talking about it a few years ago.

1:30pm – Lunch time. I eat something at home most days, and usually rustle up a stir fry using leftover chicken and veggies or some other random concoction. If I’m out and about, I always carry a small reusable cloth bag with me and can easily find an unpackaged sandwich to go straight in from a bakery or deli. And yes, I eat meat. I was vegetarian for 13 years and it made me really ill. The more I read about meat, the more I appreciate the crucial role animals play in regenerating our environment, fighting climate change and nourishing our bodies. Not all meat is created equal, so I only buy local, organic meat, unpackaged!

Sometimes I’ll catch up with a friend for lunch and we’ll go to a nearby café. When eating out, I request no straw in my drink and return the unused paper napkin to the waiter to reuse – I don’t need it.

3pm – I shop for groceries once a week and then top up with store cupboard staples once every few weeks. If I’m doing the weekly shop, I take a few reusable metal tins with me and some cloth bags and an empty egg carton and walk 10 minutes to a local shop, where all of their produce is organic and loose. The butcher puts any meat straight into the containers (and deducts the weight of the container!), and I use cloth bags for bread and soft items like tomatoes and berries, but everything else just goes loose into the basket and then I carry it home in my larger reusable bags.

This incredible woman encouraged 100,000 people to join her in ending period product waste

If I’m stocking up on dry goods, I’ll visit one of the many bulk shops popping up across the country. London now has several locations to shop plastic-free (there’s a list on my blog!). I can also get beer, wine and oil refills, too. I simply weigh the containers and the shop deducts the weight at the checkout. Sounds odd, I know, but I’ve been grocery shopping this way for five years now and it feels totally normal.

My weekly grocery shop takes 30 minutes, including walking, but for those who are really stuck for time, there are now online stores now selling dry goods without plastic, try plasticfreepantry.co.uk or zero-waste-club.com and for veggies, the organicdeliverycompany.co.uk has a plastic-free veg box delivery.

4:30pm – Time for a cuppa! I make tea using loose leaf and a reusable metal tea ball strainer – a bit like a tea bag but reusable and no plastic. Yep, most teabags still contain plastic!

6:30pm – Let’s get cooking! Before adopting a Zero Waste Lifestyle, I wasn’t a fan of cooking. Now, I LOVE it. In the early days, it was difficult to find things like pasta from bulk, so I learned to make my own. Now it’s really easy to find, so I buy it loose, but I’m pleased I learned a new skill. I mostly buy British produce, so it’s seasonal and I just go with the flow in the kitchen. I rarely follow recipes, except when I’m making bread pudding (from leftover bread), homemade custard or homemade tortillas as I need a recipe for those.

We compost food scraps in our small worm bin on the balcony but some things like citrus peels, cooked meat and fats cannot go in there so for now, those get thrown away in a small paper bag. I’m constantly bothering my council to start offering a food waste collection service and they have just started to trial it in a small area. Fingers crossed it comes our way soon.

Celebrate World Environment Day with these eco-friendly sustainable beauty buys

7:30pm – My husband and I are real foodies and enjoy a good chat over our evening meal. To drink, we’ll either enjoy a bit of organic wine (from a refill) or a glass of sparkling water from my SodaStream Crystal, which comes with a glass bottle and turns tap water into sparkling in a few seconds. The gas canisters are returnable, too.

10pm – I’m definitely a night owl, and if I have a deadline, I will happily start working on it from 10pm until 2am. I’ve tried to fight it for years, but have come to realise I am most productive and efficient working at night. My husband is the complete opposite, so I try to go to bed early with him most nights. He’s been really great at embracing the Zero Waste Lifestyle, although his initial reaction was, “I’m going to fight you on this” when I tried to take away his beloved cleaning products and replace them with vinegar and reusable cloth rags! Since then, he’s seen the benefits: improved health and spending less (especially on cleaning products!) and he’s realised just how unnecessary and destructive plastic has become.

He’s now the first to start talking about it when people ask about zero waste and friends now send him pictures of their reusable coffee cups. If I had any advice for encouraging friends and family to start reducing plastic, it’s this: don’t preach and lead by example. Guilting people into doing something is the worst. Make it fun, laugh when things go wrong and leave perfection at the door. You do you, and hopefully others will feel inspired.

Ready to get started? Here are our picks of the best shampoo bars to get your ball rolling…

[foreverdaystudies]

{5/40 DoP} ~ 5/11/2017 ~ Cambridge, UK ~ Work-Life Balance at Cambridge (aka living in the procrastiNATION and how I hope to move to productiCITY)

Do you know what the most common, most stereotypical prayer request is at Cambridge? Balance. And believe me, as a rep this year I’ve been to enough prayer meetings to attest to this. Everyone is busy. Everyone is trying to figure out how to work dawn to dusk. 

For example, this week, I had a supervision (teaching session) scheduled from 8-9pm, and that was only an hour later than “normal” teaching hours. So I could start my contact hours at 9am and finish them after 9pm. There simply isn’t a line between work and free time. This year I will regularly have supervisions on a Saturday and  I’m likely to have a few on a Sunday as well. There is no such thing as a holiday or vacation, their technical term is “non-teaching periods”. The learning is expected to go on, day in, day out.

But did I work 12.5 hours on that day? In the words of the Village Voice, No Way, José. There were several gaps in the schedule, an hour between lectures, a few between the practical finishing and the start of supervisions. Unlike Byron’s Beauty of the Night my day was not all in goodness spent. I actually deleted the app from my phone which tells me how much time I waste on the internet. It made me feel too bad. Instead I’ve taken to timing when I’m actually working. I get up to make a cup of tea/coffee/juice/mocha/smoothie/etc/etc (There have been a few times I’ve been worried I was giving myself water poisoning, but that’s another story) and stop the clock, start it again when I sit down and concentrate. Stop for Facebook/Twitter/Tetris break. I don’t count contact hours, and on a really good day I get 3 hours of solid extra work in. Often it’s a lot less. 2 hours is pretty average, but 1 is not uncommon. 

So where does the rest of the time go? Some days it is more in goodness spent than others. Thursdays I am in sessions from 10-4pm solidly, then with 2 hours of supervisions that evening. That is 8 hours of other people directing my attention and when I get back to my room I am t i r e d. I was interested to read how some cultures view concentration not as something that can be depleted, but something that as you use it, it increases. The study found that for those people their concentration was better after a tricky maths problem, while those in the Western world who view it as a pot that dries up, it was worse. Although I want to change my perspective to that of it increasing (and the concept of flow has been shown to be so. true. in my study) I’m not quite there. I really don’t feel like I can force my brain to focus indefinitely. Some days it’s hard to get it to focus at all, for any length of time.

A significant proportion of time it has to be said goes on procrastination. Worse when I’m tired, but sometimes I’m feeling fresh, ready to work, and the siren call of the internet is too loud to resist. It also is a l o t worse if I view the task as too difficult for me. 

My neuro essays are a prime example of this. I don’t understand the material and now you want me to explain, expand, re-utilise the information for 4 pages??? How about I just put that off until it can’t be put off and then put it off a bit longer??? (I have yet to email one neuro essay in on time and this is mostly due to the childish “I really don’t wanna do ittttt, it’s too haaaard :( :( :(” feeling that paralyses me a bit)

The 2 main ways I’m trying to combat procrastination that are new this year (i.e. I feel like every site tells you similar things so I’m excluding them, like I’ve been breaking up the task into chunks for yonks gimme some new inspo) are both based around fighting my night-owl-ness. I.e.:

Giving myself the sleep schedule of a toddler. 

REGULAR & CONSISTENT bedtimes and wake up times. 

NAPS if my brain is fuzzy and can only work on low-function & I’m needing high-function learning/working to take place.

getting up before lectures to do some work before I’m tired 

One term in, and there have been a few problems with this so far:

it can be hard to maintain if you want to go out and socialise during the evening (i.e. when everyone is socialising) bcuz a) you’re going to be out later than 10pm so byebye schedule, and b) you’re going to get tired and yawny and sleepy way earlier than everyone else (I just feel like a real party pooper if I’m saying no to everything bcuz it’s “too late”. FOMO is real man)(Also, I like people, I like seeing them and socialising, I just don’t love clubbing or how I feel the morning after going to bed after 2am)

not waiting until you’re UTTERLY EXHAUSTED to go to bed means that you spend a fair amount of time waiting to fall asleep. I really can’t stand this. You can’t think anything that’s going to keep you awake (i.e. absolutely no replaying conversations with your supervisors and thinking of new ways to defend yourself against their un/fair criticisms, no thinking about how to kindly reject that well meaning boy, no planning outfit/meals for tomorrow) and so I just end up counting. Sometimes I count breaths, sometimes I just count. It. is. boring. Every night having to count and the more impatient you are about falling asleep the harder it is to do it. And then it’s an hour or two after you went to bed and you’re thinking “what a waste of time, and I’m going to be really tired tomorrow” which is again not conducive to sleep. Sigh. This does get a bit better if I’m really militant about consistent timings, but I have always hated going to bed. I am a night owl through and through and this feels a bit like it’s going against the core of my being (I mean, obviously an exaggeration, but my natural state is stay up late and get up late. From birth, and even before that (if you count my being my most active late at night in utero according to my mother) I find it easy to keep going late into the night, and hard to start up in the morning)

Things I’m going to try implement to help with this:

Tracking my working hours on a graph, as well as comments as to why I thought that day went well or not, so I can then do a proper evaluation and see what my personal pitfalls are (although I have my suspicions *coughlackofsleepcough*) (now I just have to find a good website to use for this).

Take. More. Naps. Like I said, I have a tendency to view sleep as a waste of time when I’m awake, and so will limp on with a fuzzy brain that is good for nothing except playing copious amounts of Tetris and not even that well because “If I sleep for an hour that’s an hour I’m not working.” But if I actually took that nap I could then work for the hour after that, rather than spending 3 hours doing nada. Also: more sleep in general

Pimp my phone. And by that I mean:

Have a playlist of educational YouTube videos to click on during the week instead of instantly going for the low-engagement vlogs etc. That way the legwork is done for me (and I want to make it as easy as possible for me to make the right choice).

Anki cards. I kind of went off Anki (after 4 years of being their top cheerleeder -.-) because they just took Too. Long. to make for such a content heavy course and I couldn’t get through all the lectures and I ended up panic-reading through lectures for the VERY FIRST TIME SINCE THE LECTURE the night before the exam and it was very stressful and unhappy-making and I told myself never again, and I will have to by hook or by crook find a way of being faster this year which I thought meant giving up flashcards. HOWEVER, I do feel that for learning drugs and anatomy they would be pretty useful- and since I spend too much time procrastinating on YouTube on my phone if I have some flashcards on there I can at least do a little bit of work while watching something pointless (the ability to have a mini internet screen on top of other apps is one of my fave features of the LG phone it has to be said) and even if my attention isn’t 100% it’s better than 0%.

Less multitasking. Despite the last bullet point I want to do less, but better. Sometimes (esp with neuro essays) I feel like there’s no way to actually get through it than to write a sentence, flick onto Facebook, write a sentence. Mini-rewards for getting through a hard thing, however slowly. But for a lot it just slows me down a lot. And it would be nice to not do it.

So here’s hoping. I don’t know whether I’m actually getting any more productive as I get older or not (another reason for the tracking) but it would be really nice to be more efficient (which would then let me have better designated “off” times, and just be happier/less stressed generally.)

PRAYING FOR A MINI-MIRACLE.