#oof hi yeah i'm not dead

[sysig]

The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)

[swan2swan]

Thinking about irony here...

I think Sammy's the only camper who never actually looked death in the eye, even though she arguably came the closest.

[in-class-daydreams]

Imagine ex-husband Gojo and your son, Sen, getting into the nastiest fight to date.

"Doman expansion: Infinity Castle!"

You feel yourself floating right side up, then everything shifts and you're suddenly falling upside down. You hit the tatami mats with an "oof!"

Sen's domain is a Japanese-style castle with infinite rooms he can manipulate at will. The domain is infinite and some rooms can lead to nowhere, reminiscent of Satoru's domain. When he and his best friend Naoki overlap their domains, one could find themselves isolated, battling shikigami in various parts of the castle.

Sen and Satoru land on their feet not far from you.

"Yikes," Satoru says. "Pretty crude, if you ask me."

"Good thing I'm not asking!" Sen would say, powering up his next attack. Satoru would move to counter and by now you have a headache and a bruise, and you've had it with the bickering.

"Domain--"

"Enough!" You put your hands together. "Domain expansion: Thousand Heavenly Gates"

The scene shifts and you find yourselves standing on water with a clear sky above you. One thousand torii gates stand tall all around you. Your ex and son feel the rage inside them start to fade away.

Pointing an accusing finger, you scold them, "You two are two of the strongest sorcerers who ever lived. Using your gifts to bicker with each other is some of the most blatant disregard for your stations I've ever seen! I don't want to see another domain used for this kind of stupidity again. Am I clear?"

"Yup."

"Yes, mama."

"Now," you say slowly. "When I drop this domain, you two are going to spend some civil father-son time together. Go get lunch. I don't care where, but on the way back, pick me up an ice cream. Double scoop. Satoru?"

You ex-husband grimaces and has the decency to look chastised. "Yeah, I know what flavor. That swirly one you like."

"Good. Don't come back until you've learned to play nice."

~

Imagine ex-husband Gojo picking you up from girls' night.

Sen goes back to the school dorms at night, so you figured you go out for a few drinks with your friends to catch up. Satoru heard about the event from Shoko and offered to take you home. You agreed and on the way took a detour to your favorite arcade from when you and Satoru were teens.

"Ugh! I swear these things are rigged!" you groan in frustration when the claw game drops the plushie you were aiming for.

"My turn," Satoru says. He scoots you out of the way and focuses hard on the white one-eyed cat you've been trying to get.

In the reflection of the plastic, you notice a slight glow behind Satoru's blindfold.

"No way you're using the six-eyes for this!" You whack his arm playfully, trying to stifle your laughter.

"Don't hate the player, babe, hate the game," he replies. With that, he presses the button and the claw drops. It hits the toy dead center. Closes. Lifts. The two of you hold your breaths.

And drops right into the chute.

"Yes!" you squeal while Satoru retrieves it. His face screws up in a look of contempt.

"Ew, it's even uglier up close."

You snatch it from him and hug it close to your chest. "Don't say that! He didn't mean it, Gege, don't worry."

"You named it already?"

"I named him."

"His face makes me mad for some reason."

"Your face makes me mad for many reasons."

Satoru lightly punches Gege in the face, which leads to you chasing him all the way back to the car, brandishing your new friend like a weapon.

~

Imagine ex-husband Gojo walking you to your front door.

You thank him for the ride and for taking you to that arcade. He doesn't need to know this, but being there with him made you feel like you were seventeen again.

Many things about Satoru remind you of how happy he made you. Even now.

"I'm sorry I acted like that," he says. Your reminiscing means you didn't catch the first part of his apology but you nod like you've been paying attention the whole time. "We're not together any more and I haven't been good about respecting boundaries and I'm sorry."

He blabbers on some more but all you can think about is how this whole apology is exactly the kind of communication you'd been wishing for throughout your marriage.

"So if you're seeing someone now, I get it. I mean, it doesn't matter if I get it or not because it's none of my business but--"

"Oh, shut up, Toru!" Fisting a hand in his shirt, you drag him to your level and kiss him like you’d never get to again.

~

Thanks for reading!

Click [here] for more of Sen being mean to his dad | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

[redflagshipwriter]

Mamabat- enter Jason 1/2

MASTERPOST

The air was different with Cass, now. Danny felt a little anxious as he followed her to the study after breakfast. Something about her was serious-determined-protective. 

She always felt protective towards him. That was why he'd followed her in the first place. Some ghosts lied, but they couldn't do it with their aura. He knew what she really felt for him. 

“Sit?” She asked him. She gestured at the big squashy chair. Danny did without complaint. Cass perched behind him and started dragging her fingers through his hair, relaxing him.

Man. She was good at this. Top tier mothering, right here. Danny went limp. 

“I'm worried,” Cass broke the silence. She didn't sound worried. She never really did. Her voice was quiet and serious, but still kind. Her thumbs dug into his scalp. He pushed his head back against it. Bliss. “Barbara made you sad. Because you miss your sister?”

Danny tensed. 

‘I should have figured that Batman would track me down.’

Maybe he had known, if he was honest with himself. It didn't hit him like a shock.

“Tim thinks your name is Fenton,” she added, brutally sensible as always. And yup, that was it. No point in denying it. “Declared dead. In danger?”

He sucked in air through his teeth. He wasn't going to lie to her. 

“Worried,” she repeated. 

He thought about it. He really did. Danny bit his lip. 

She was liminal. That probably meant she'd come really close to death, in at least one sense of the word. Would that mean she was desensitized to it, or extra paranoid?

…It was hard to imagine Cass over or under reacting to a possible danger. She was just so steady. But would she see him as a possible danger if she knew what he was, what he really was? 

He could feel it out before he took a plunge with the whole truth.

Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it was invasive. She didn't seem to realize that she was liminal. That meant she definitely didn't realize how much she was communicating to him under her words and gestures. 

But Danny deliberately tuned into her quiet aural communication and tested the waters. “Tim is right, I'm Danny Fenton,” he said. He knew he was too tense. She would definitely feel it. But what could he do about that? He was nervous. “I… Maybe I did die.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach. He could feel the crush of grief on her heart. 

But it didn’t wash away the thudding repetition of love-protect-my darling. There was no suspicion, no guilt, no fear. It was just pain for his sake, with no calculation about how to solve a sudden problem. 

God. He wanted so badly for that to have been how his parents reacted. His eyes started to sting.

Danny sniffled. He thought it was safe to tell her. “I died,” he corrected, and he knew he was right when Cass made a little wounded sound and leaned her body into him, aiming to comfort. “Not then, but a couple years ago. I’m different now, and it’s uh… It’s dangerous to be this way.”

“Affects?” Cass asked quietly. She started to pet his hair again. “Mood? Health?”

“...Huh,” he said, because that was a sensible question he hadn’t expected. If he really thought about his mood and emotions before and after the accident: “Yeah, uh, there’s sometimes a mood thing. I might be a little more aggressive than I was before? And I can get kind of intense sometimes.”

He had thought that was basically just a reaction to having a whole bunch of new threats in his life. But would pre-electrocution Danny have been able to actually stand and fight Skulker? He had genuinely been afraid of the jocks. Maybe… Maybe he was different. Sure, Sam and Jazz were up for shooting ghosts with Fenton tech. Would he have been if he was just human? 

…He didn’t really think so.

Oof. Well, that wasn’t exactly great for his sense of self.

Cass shook him lightly. “Health?” she repeated.

Danny forced down that revelation to deal with later. He didn’t like acknowledging that he was kind of a chicken by nature, but historically, there wasn’t much evidence of bravery pre-mortem. “Uh, my heart rate is really slow, body temp is low, so I can’t really afford to go to a doctor for a checkup,” he said. “Uh, sometimes I’ve got none at all and my hair turns white.” He paused there. That was- that was enough, yeah? He was going to be honest with her because she deserved honesty from him. But that didn’t mean he had to explain the whole great beyond and his inhuman status.

“Sounds like Jason,” Cass said, after a long silence.

Danny short-circuited. “Wait, what?” He craned to look at her. “Who?”

Cass darted forward to kiss his forehead. “Little brother,” she said cheerfully. “Want to meet him?”

Uh, yeah. Danny nodded vigorously, wondering what the hell she was on about. “Do you mean he died?” 

“Died,” Cass agreed, getting out her phone and tapping away at it rapidly.

“Not like, heart stopped for a minute on the operating table and he was revived, or what?” Danny pressed.

“Dead in the ground, came back later,” Cass said. “Dead for months. Now, very crabby.”

Danny balked. “What?”

“White hair too,” she said. Then her face did something funny. “I think he dyed it recently,” she said. 

Danny huffed a laugh. “If it’s the same thing as mine, you can’t dye it.” He saw her look over his head for white streaks. He didn’t correct her line of thought.

He hadn’t thought that anything could top the anticipation of meeting Batman. But Danny had to admit the rest of the day was a wash. Apparently Jason couldn’t make it until the evening, about an hour before patrol.

Danny nearly paced a line into the carpet. He had enough energy to do that now, even without ecto. He was getting soooo much food here. A guy couldn’t even stress out for an hour without someone coming by to make sure he had fruit and yogurt or a hot drink.

He didn’t need someone to come and tell him that the much anticipated Jason had shown up. Danny knew it when he went to take a sip of cruelty-free chocolate milk (hand delivered by the most frightening child in the world) and choked on vapor.

Damian gave him a glare and snatched the drink away. “Are you incapable of drinking beverages?” he demanded. His face looked so goddamn cross but he was just worried.

Danny managed a smile. “No, went down the wrong pipe, sorry.”

Damian didn’t seem to even see the fog, so- so that meant that either he was really unobservant or he wasn’t liminal enough to see it the way people did in Amity. That was a small blessing. Danny appreciated it and he took back his drink to have something to hold onto.

That was a whole ass ghost. That was a whole ghost coming onto the property, one that felt big and mad and old. Danny smacked his lips, disconcerted. 

He, uh, didn’t know what to expect from this.

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || 141 x Reader

[ Chapter 10 ] || [ Chapter 12 ]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.1K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: i'm in love with gaz

Chapter 11: Excuse me?

A DM suddenly shoots up to the top of the pile in Kyle’s Tinder DM list and his eyebrows raise when he sees your name.

It’s been a month and a half, maybe longer, since you two last matched and after the brief rejection and you having gotten with Price, his life moved on and he kind of forgot you existed.

But your sudden message whose preview starts with “hey sorry to be botheri-” intrigues him so he presses it.

you: hey sorry to be bothering u but i figured it was safe to dm u about this because between u and johnny u seemed to be the most mature one! is simon okay? he stopped replying to me like a week ago and im concerned

Kyle’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead upon reading the question.

Kyle: he’s been texting u? 🤨 you: HI! yeah he has Kyle: excuse me? 🤨🤨 Kyle: like texting texting u.  Kyle: as in you text him and he answers and u 2 chat? 😐 you: yes? 🙃 Kyle: tf kind of witchcraft did u pull on him? 🤨 Kyle: he doesnt text.  Kyle: not one of us can get more than a thumbs up reaction to our texts in the groupchat. 😑 you: he texts me! Kyle: 😫?? Kyle: jesus christ.  you: you didnt answer is he okay?? 😭😭

Kyle thought back on a reason why Ghost would suddenly, well, ghost you. But he can’t think of any… Ghost is a notoriously bad texter, it doesn’t surprise him that he went MIA…

And then it hits him.

It’s 8 A.M. in the rec room of their floor and Ghost was making tea just as Johnny was taking a seat in the couch.

Kyle oofed as Johnny hit him, throwing his legs over Kyle’s lap. “Watch it mate, fuck you’re bloody heavy!” He complained.

“AH, FUCKIN’ HELL!” Ghost cursed as he threw his hands up in the air the sound of water dripping on the floor catching his attention.

Kyle looked over to see Ghost had spilled his boiling hot water everywhere on the counter.

“You alright L.T.?” Soap asked a she lifted his head over the back of the couch to peer at Simon just like Gaz was.

“Great.” Ghost grunted as he picked up his phone from the counter, which was also dripping in water, while his other hand threw a rag onto the mess of water dripping down from the counter.

“Oh fuck… ‘s your phone dead?” Soap asked and Ghost grumbled under his breath, not quite answering the question, as he busied himself soaking up the spilled water.

Just then, Price showed up at the rec room door. “Simon, gear up. Got a briefing for a solo mission in 10.”

“Fuckin’ hell, yeah, yeah, I got it.” Ghost grunted as he cleaned the mess and then rushed out the door, leaving his mug of tea in the counter and clutching his now broken phone in his hands.

Kyle: hes fine. Kyle: he spilled water on his phone and killed it I think.  Kyle: and he got sent out before he could get it fixed. 🙃 you: oh okay good! you: thanks! you: sorry to have bothered you! 🙏 Kyle: now wait just a minute. 😤 Kyle: u need to explain how in the hell u and ghost talk.👀 you: ghost? Kyle: that’s his work name. 🤷‍♂️ you: fitting seeing as i thought he ghosted me Kyle: THAT’S THE JOKE I MADE JUST NOW TO MYSELF! 😭 you: were in sync it seems 😭 Kyle: answer the question tho. you: idk what u want me to answer with Kyle: wdym u dont know??? explain yourself. Kyle: how do you get ghost to text u???? you: idk? im funny ig Kyle: 😑 you: im sorry if thats not what u want to hear Kyle: wait Kyle: a couple weeks ago he was out all night Kyle: during morning training soap was talking about how he had a date Kyle: was he with u? 👀👀 you: soap? Kyle: johnny. Kyle: keep up cmon now. you: jeez don’t patronize me you: yes simon was with me Kyle: 👀👀👀 Kyle: i see. Kyle: tell me more. you: theres nothing to tell Kyle: thats a lie and u know it.  you: its not!!! Kyle: cmon. Kyle: u cant just meet with a bloke with a skull mask on and then say u dont have anything to tell. 😑😑 you: a skull mask?? Kyle: did he not wear a mask when he was with u? 🤨🤨 you: yes? you: a black one Kyle: with a skull print on it yeah? you: no??? 🙃 you: just black! Kyle: jesus christ. Kyle: and what? what happened? you: nothing?! Kyle: walk me thru it. you: we went out for a drink then came back to mine and watched a movie! Kyle: 🤨🤨 Kyle: and had a shag? you: NO???? Kyle: wdym no? thats what would normally happen with a bloke. you: and???? you: this is simon were talking about kyle you: nothing about him screams normal exactly 🙃 you: hes joked about being able to kill me with his bar ehands you: bare hands* Kyle: fair. Kyle: this raises more questions for me. you: what Kyle: like u would meet with a masked bloke that can kill u with his bare hands alone without protection? 🤨 you: i had protection Kyle: not a condom. you: oh 😅 you: well we met at a pub soooo  Kyle: what did u 2 do then Kyle: other than watch a ‘movie’ 🙄 you: played mario kart you: slept Kyle: as in Kyle: you SLEPT? like honk shoo honk mimimimi? you: yes🙄🙄 Kyle: im confused. you: ur confused? im fucking confused bro Kyle: wdym u SLEPT TOGETHER? 🙃 Kyle: WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?  Kyle: wtf have u done to him Kyle: like ghost doesnt text, he sure as shit doesnt visit people, and he doesnt go on dates, he doesnt sleep next to people, im almost sure the man doesnt have feelings or emotions and only speaks in sarcasm  Kyle: how can u get that out of him?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: no one else can! you: well with that mentality you cant you: idk what to tell u you: we hit it off 🙄 Kyle: explain yourself. you: ive been explaining it!!!!! Kyle: no explain it better. Kyle: I think Im having a stroke.  you: idk how to make it clearer??? Kyle: thats it. Kyle: are you free rn?? Kyle: I need u to explain urself. 😑 you: Im at work? Kyle: whens ur lunch break? 👀 you: in 35 minutes. Kyle: do u like ramen? you: yes? Kyle: whats the closest japanese to ur job? you: Akira Kyle: meet me at Akira for lunch. Kyle: I’m buying. you: who said i want to meet up with u?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: man just get down there. Kyle: im offering to pay. you: fineeeee 🙄

Kyle quickly hopped up from his seat at his desk with a start and rushed back to his room to change out of his fatigues.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!): @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur

@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

[wizardpink]

I screencapped these two posts four days ago because I had Something to Say and now I have no idea wth it was.

I think it had something to do with power dynamics and how Armand making Daniel a vampire actually handed Daniel a huge amount of power over Armand despite being the fledgling?

So number one Armand rendered his primary weapon against Daniel / form of self-defense completely useless by making Daniel his fledgling. He can no longer use the mind gift to manipulate Daniel or erase his memories. Which of course is true for all makers and fledglings, but most makers' fledglings aren't Sherlock Holmes with a BSJ. Daniel beat Armand's mental saw trap as a human. Armand is never, never getting one over on him now. Daniel will perceive the slightest change in energy coming from Armand and immediately know that he's lying, and 3 seconds of deduction later and he'll know why. He's an open book now, which must be terrifying.

Number two: mentorship. This is how Lestat kept control over Claudia and Louis for so long: he kept them dependent on him through ignorance. He only told them enough about vampirism to get through the day to day: don't go in the sun, don't drink dead blood, the other vampires of the world are vicious, etc. Every fledging needs their maker at LEAST in the beginning to teach them the ropes. Well, Daniel just wrote the goddamned book on vampirism, literally. Daniel sat there and listened as Louis told him everything he knew, everything Lestat ever taught him, everything Armand ever taught him. What other vampire ever got the in-depth two week course on Vampires 101 before they even got turned?! Crazy stuff.

Number three: vampire loneliness. Supposedly the most cruel and painful thing a vampire can endure. It keeps fledglings and makers tied to each other well past the point of being able to stand each other. And god knows Armand is staring down the barrel of having no one but Daniel. Which is unfortunate for him, considering Daniel is besties with his ex husband and touring with his ex boyfriend. Daniel has friends, friends that didn't torture him for 4 days then try to kill him. Oof.

All of this is to say that, with the info we have right now, Daniel has very little need for Armand. Armand in comparison needs him at least not to be alone, but what leverage does he have to get Daniel to stay with him? He's got nothing babes. I'm not a strong believer in the Armand is running from Daniel theory on season 3, but if he is, it's hard to blame him. He is shooting 0 for 1,000 right now, losing left and right, dying of shame and guilt and embarrassment. I'd probably crawl in a hole and die too.

"Oh but wizardpink, that's not very Devil's Minion of you!" AU CONTRAIRE. Because what could be more compelling and romantic than someone who has no use for you but nevertheless wants you? Thinks about you constantly and doesn't know why? You tried to capture them in a glass jar but they broke out and flew away, only to flutter back because they missed you? Yeah inject that straight into my veins.

And on the flip side? Maybe Armand goes straight back to that headspace he was in in '73, the crazed look in his eyes when he told Daniel he was going to teach him to be fascinating. That's ONE thing Armand still has on Daniel, he could probably overpower him enough to keep him trapped somewhere, if Armand thought Daniel was going to leave him. This, too, is Devil's Minion as fuck. Slowest of burns, as they say.

Hmm. Yeah I guess that was what I was gonna say.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Let it Be Close-watch

Paul, sweety, it's beautiful, but it's killing the vibe.

Ringo looks like a very old, very tired lab rat whose been put through the maze a few too many times

Somehow the air-brown mostly eaten apple is very appropriate.

She looks far too sweet here to ever let John down. Yoko has very kind eyes.

I love how it makes it seem like Paul and John are calling Maxwell “the corny one” but really we know from Get Back that they're talking about a particular arrangement they were trying out for Don't Let me Down.

I swear he's saying “John” there, not “Joan” and also he said “came down upon His head” so… Oh! And Max died in the end in this version? “Sure that Max was dead” Okay. So Paul kills John and then himself. Murder suicide story. Yeah, Paul, you're doing great mentally, we can all tell.

I love how George getting electrocuted was important enough to make the cut for both films. Poor baby. “If this boy dies you're gonna cop it” from the guy who was just singing about a serial killer.

They're so silly

Yoko does not agree with me

Paul: stealing your man, sweetheart. John: oh no I'm being stolen teehee!

They're so silly

Oh wait, were those bitchy looks at George??? Because there he is. Idk could easily be him or Yoko.

this poor autistic baby trying to use words (not his language) to explain music (his language)

“Good MoOornin! Wooah!” I think I just … You know how Mike said people were booing Paul in the theater watching this? Yeah it's because they were pissed he didn't step out of the screen and onto their necks.

Oh Michael put himself in his own movie too? Huh, cool.

They are always in my heart

The way Paul says “get on the mic” to John??? I would've thrown something, that was so fucking bossy! Just his tone and his face and his angry pointing fingers. So mean. And John just goes “okaaay”. Oof.

Ringo covering his eyes like a little kid watching a scary movie during the orange sweater fight. Same, babe.

Sounds like the original lyric John's going for is something long “All I want is you. Nothing else is gonna do.” But that obviously didn't fit with the tune. I wonder if there was a particular conversation with Paul being controlling that made the “everything has got to be the way you want it to” line click in.

Oh my gosh! So George is showing I Me Mine to Ringo and Paul and he says the “I don't give a fuck it can go in musical” line before he even plays it. Not after John's making fun of him like he does in Get Back. Nagra reels experts: which one is correct??

George: it's a heavy waltz. Ringo:*claps hands angrily and punches the air to a ¾ beat. I love him, he's like the core of “Beatle humor” to me.

Woah there! Okay this is the John/Yoko pda Peter Jackson cut, I see. I wonder if there's a lot more footage of them swapping spit that might make the “oh John was just so in love” theory more reasonable.

It's extremely impressive that George just wrote this whole thing last night. You know? John and Paul have brought in all fragments from what I can tell. He's the only one to come in with a basically finished product.

LMAO and we're just going to Apple now. No reason. Nothing happened. Nothing to see. Moving on.

Ringo is so so cute pretending to hide from the cameras. Really he should've been the cute one.

Is it just me or does Paul drop the sillies and get sad when he sings “always be mine” at John? It's his regular voice, too, for a minute, if I'm not mistaken.

Silly cuties. But John's grin and little sexy tongue action happens the second time Paul sings always be mine, so…

What friendly artistic collaboration looks like when it's not psychosexual

Paul: have you played the dubs? George: yeah. Terrible. Paul: Great! Ringo: terrible. John: laughs Paul: (sarcastic) oh, so dreadful. …. John: where's my guitar? Paul: (still sarcastic) well we're just the greatest band ever. Idk I just like this dialogue. It's very them, you know?

This is adorable.

But I also love how they're already communicating with eyebrows, you know? They just bonded so fast and I find that beautiful.

And then Heather ups their game from taking turns going “chchchchch” into the mic to meowing into the mic. She looks at Paul like “okay your turn” and he sets her down lol he's thinking ‘if I meow into the mic right now after John already had a sex dream last night about me, he might actually cream his pants and we can't have that on camera’

Lol Billy just magically appeared!

Paul you're literally so annoying. You started the goofing off and now you're like “alright lads, that's enough.” Mkay.

He is unbelievably sexy and talented though so you know he does have those little things going for him. Someone write me a Paul/Billy fic please!!

Kinda crazy how they all four just slide straight from “Kansas City” to “Miss Ann” to “Lawdy Miss Claudy”. Makes me think of something they might've done in Hamburg.

I'm sorry but Paul finishes “please don't excite me baby. I'm down in misery.” And John's immediate answer is, “well you can get it if you want it, and if you want it you can get it!” And Paul ends up singing “I want it I want it I want it I want it”. Nice. Very subtle, boys. And that's before John gets kinky.

I love how Heather just forces a hug from George and then immediately runs away. What a cutie.

But really. How did anyone watching this get the idea that John hated Paul? Just confirmation bias I guess?

All the cut off conversations kill me but especially the one where John's working though Paul's anxieties. They're just in the middle of it and then cut. “two of us Sunday driving…”

Someone should do a study of whistling in their songs. I feel like it's another one of their tip offs that “hey this one is about us” Anyway I love John's whistling here. He's so good at it. I can just imagine him as some farm boy picking apples, you know?

Imagine booing this poor stay puppy though, like. What? I mean, what if Johann Weiner was wrong and John wasn't crying at the sight of him and Paul playing triumphant together on the rooftop, but at Paul playing his little heart out about their doomed love. Idk it's probably both. Let's be real, John was bawling through the whole thing.

What is George laughing at? Picture quality is garbage because evil corporations don't let you take screenshots of their content, but he looks like that one kid in your elementary school class that just dumped Cheetos all over his crushes desk and thinks he's a criminal mastermind.

Also I do appreciate all the attention given in the chosen shots to the musicianship. I bet they liked that at least if they had the heart to like anything about the movie at the time.

I'm sorry but I love how in sync Mo and Paul are. With this ducking and later the shimmying. I know it's wrong to ship Ringo’s wife with one of the Beatles she didn't sleep with, but… idk I really want her to have bedded all four at one point, you know? She deserves it, being an og.

Okay but yeah I'd be having a public meltdown if I fumbled that too holy fucking shit

Ringo feeling himself as he should

George just looks like he smells nice. Unlike the others. You know?

John has such a beautiful smile. If somebody looked at me like that I'd put him up on a giant screen behind me on my world tour after he'd been dead for forty years too.

That pleeeaaaheeeaaase though. Looking at Paul. How did he survive I'll never know.

The cut from screaming Paul to grouchy nap lady is extremely painful.

John was so cool in this concert. Like the epitome of cool.

Kevin, my love, thank you for your service

I love Yoko leaning so far and craning her neck. She's like a mom at a school talent show. Like “I only came to see my baby.” Type vibe. Which is exactly what she's doing, unlike Mo, and honestly I find both of them extremely valid

You know in movies where the romantic leads are never looking at each other at the same time?

I think I watched George and John switching back on their amps like fifty times because I just love it so much. And from this angle, you can see John's saying something to Paul about it. He looks serious and he's shaking his head. I wonder what he's saying.

Mal Evans I love you forever for this. Look at his hand on the rail, just blocking them off completely, so protective.

Them turning to each other at the end always gets me. It's automatic, like second nature, and it's the last time ever. They deserved better.

Oh Darling duet in the credits are you fucking kidding me??? Was that in the original? “Believe me, when I tell you.” “Oh I do.” That's the second time that they gave away in this footage that they know they're talking to each other in their music.

Alright, that's it, I guess. And then MLH is haunted by this experience for forty years until he makes Two of Us to purge the demons.

[ckret2]

Hey, I've been off for a while so I don't know if anyone's asked you this before or not, but I need some help with writing and you're the only smart person I could think of right now... 😭

How can you come up with such great plot ideas?? Like, how can you just come up with a plan and go like "yeah that's gonna happen because he did this to do that." How tf do I even word that? Like, for example, when Bill escaped the mystery shack so Ford wouldn't oof him for good. Like you came up with such a complex yet amazing plan for how they could escape. WHY ARE YOU SO SMART GIVE ME YOUR BRAIN POWER. I had the thought that it took you a while, like maybe years to plan something like this. Idk for how long you were planning on starting this fic, but as someone who wants to start their own manga, and is also heavily inspired by bungo stray dogs, I need help cause I suck at writing. I'm only good for midly funny jokes and somewhat good art (but I have time to improve on that.) Also I'm sorry if this does not make sense 😭 idk how else to word it...

Honestly... the answer is "I come up with plots by spending a lot of time thinking about them" LMAO.

specifically for that plot arc? I sorta came up with it in three phases, a few months apart. Simplifying pages & pages worth of discord chats:

Phase 1 was "well OBVIOUSLY the humans initially want Bill dead right? And OBVIOUSLY Bill wants to escape right? So it would only make sense to have a plotline where they're ready to kill him and he has to escape. Either he can succeed by himself... or, maybe some of the humans change their minds and don't want him dead. That'd show some major character development. That might be cool for the end of the fic."

Phase 2 was "I have two ideas that would make for a REALLY cool dramatic ending of the fic, either Bill's escape or [BIG SECRET], which is cooler? Definitely [BIG SECRET], that's DRAMATIC, that's HUGE, that's GOING PLACES. But the character development from him escaping would be really big. How do I have both?

"Maybe have him escape early in the fic... And I can use Bill trying to escape as the inciting event to give him more freedom to hang out in town, which is a huge goal of mine that needs to happen as early in the fic as possible. But then I'd need to justify why he'd come back.

"Maybe Mabel helps him escape; and then finds out no one wants to hurt him anymore and pleas with him to come back; because them sparing him would be huge character development on their part, but BILL coming back because MABEL ASKED would be even BIGGER character development on his part. But I also want Ford to have a turning point here too. Maybe he also helps with the escape somehow? Maybe it's a SURPRISE that he helps, and that's why the situation has changed enough that Mabel asks Bill to come back. So he's coming back for both of them. Now I just need a reason for Ford to change his mind."

Phase 3 was "while plotting other plots I came up with the reason why Ford no longer immediately fears Bill might kill them all AND a reason why Ford might think Bill has a chance of changing for the better. Now I just need to make up the details of how Bill escapes, what he does while he's out, etc etc. shrinking flashlight, excuse for mabel to leave town, excuse for her to stop BEFORE she leaves town to set Bill free, where's Bill go that keeps him in the area, if his choice is between miserably camping or going back to the shack then there's no emotional impact if he chooses to go back when he knows it's safe, so what can I do to make leaving seem as appealing as possible to Bill so it hits harder when he stays solely for friendship..." this phase was the easiest part.

I didn't start plotting this fic at all until after I made this post. These three phases all happened from like late spring 2023 to I think fall/winter 2023. I don't remember when I plotted phase 3, except that it was AT LEAST before I started posting the locked bathroom plot—because I had Mabel win concert tickets and mentioned her using the size-changing flashlight specifically to set them up for the escape plot.

So, looking at the above? Here's my advice, with more examples from how I do my own ploting:

— Know your character goals, before everything else. "I want the characters to want Bill to stay alive." "(which means I want them to stop hating him AND stop fearing him AT LEAST enough that execution seems like a worse choice than captivity)." "I want Bill to decide he wants to stay near his new friends more than he wants to run off and do evil." "(If this is early in his character development, the power of friendship won't be enough to convince him to stay; so I also need to come up with some evil he can get up to without leaving town.)" "I want Bill to get more freedom to move around the town because half my ideas depend on it." "I want Bill to befriend Mabel." "I want Bill to hook up with Ford." "I want Bill to keep trying to get back into his body no matter what." Etc.

— Usually, you don't come up with plots by going "what would be cool?" and trying to pull ideas out of thin air. You come up with plots by going "what do I want my characters to go through emotionally?" (becoming friends, learning to feel remorse, trying to change forms, etc)

... and then going "well, what kind of thing would need to happen to make that happen?" (To become friends, the two characters need to do things together that make them like each other—which means I need to come up with events that would show each of them why the other's likable, and if need be I need to come up with an excuse to FORCE them to participate in that event together)

... and THEN going "so what physical circumstances do I need to engineer to make that happen?" (Mabel befriends Bill by trying to help him feel better. Why's he need to feel better? He hates his body. How is this hatred expressed (and it needs to be a way Mabel can do something about)? Maybe he'll give himself a shitty haircut. How can she help fix it, it could take years for him to regrow that hair? Well... let's make up a magical way to instantly regrow hair. What's silly enough?)

You take your character goal and then specifically craft something cool around it.

— if you DO happen to come up with a random cool event first... remember what your character goals are. And go, "how would this event serve those goals? What can I put in this event to push one of my other objectives forward?

— when you're working on one part of the story, you always remember what you wanna do in other parts of the story.

When I was plotting early events in the fic, I knew that before the escape plot Ford needed to stop fearing Bill would kill him—and I decided the only way that could happen would be if Bill saved Ford's life, with NO benefit to himself, at great personal risk, knowing it would make his own situation worse, for no reason except that Ford would continue to live—and that seed grew into the entirety of the eclipse arc.

When I had Ford make indirect contact with Bill's cult at the crystal shop and I asked myself what the payoff could be from that event, I also knew I'd need something to tempt Bill to leave town in the escape plot—so that became the cult's role in the fic.

When I needed something silly for Mabel to do in town to prevent her from coming home and finding Bill locked in the bathroom, I already knew I'd need a reason for her to leave town for a couple days to disguise Bill's escape—so I had her win concert tickets in Portland.

When I was writing Bill having his mini emotional breakdown in chapter 39, I already knew I'd be writing a series of flashbacks where Soos thinks over all the terrible things Bill's been through—so when I wrote Bill trying to avoid going outside during the eclipse, I wrote in Bill giving Soos info that would help protecting the townsfolk.

When I wrote the beach episode, I already knew that in future chapters I want Robbie to try to recruit Bill into his emo band, and I want Bill to develop a complex vicarious worship relationship with the local teens' ironic Bill cult—so I had the goth half of Wendy's friend group swing by to have a positive reaction to his pyramid bricks sunburn and let him try to present himself as a fellow goth kid.

When I wrote the summerween plot, I already knew Mr. What's-His-Face gets a plotline way later in the fic—so I used summerween as an excuse for the Trickster's and Mr. WHF's mutual friends to swing by and foreshadow Mr. WHF's eventual arrival.

Any time you have a gap in the story, you fill it by asking yourself, "Well, what's something I want to do later in the story that I haven't set up yet?" and stuff in something that pushes forward one of those goals.

Or, tl;dr: I come up with plots by spending a lot of time thinking about them.

[harleehazbinfics]

Cannibal chef meets the Hazbin crew via Alastor, what happens?

Pleasure to meet you pt2 [Cannibal Chef!Reader Spin-off]

Cannibal chef! reader m.list | Author profile

A/N: including this one cuz I didnt properly answer the other I'm sorry oof

"So, uh, how did you two know each other?" Charlie starts.

On one side, Vaggie looks at you both with fear and hostility, while the other side, Angel and Niffty were scarfing down the food as if they haven't been fed for weeks.

"Oh, you know," you say and laugh, "I just plucked him off the street and tada~ he became my partner."

"So, a kidnapping?" she replies while letting out a laugh of discomfort.

"I mean, you're not wrong," you giggle before eating a piece of meat from your plate.

Husk in the corner falling into a pit of despair, "I don't know if I should be happy or be scared for my soul."

You tilt your head confused before speaking, "Ohh! So, Alastor owns your soul? Well, ain't that something! Alastor doesn't introduce me to souls he owns so, nice to meet you! Aren't you such a pretty kitty!"

"Hi. Unless you have a way to undo our deal you're welcome to pet me," he mutters with a dead expression on his face.

"Damn, you're really shooting your shot, huh?" Angel asks.

"I have no fucks left to give. I want my damn freedom," Husk mumbles back.

You gasp and look at Alastor expectantly. His gives you a jealous look before tugging at an invisible string that makes Husk stumble forward to your lap.

"Oh, fuck no," Husk deadpans trying to lift himself off and run away.

You gave him one head pat which he croons at momentarily before hiding behind the rest of the group with a hiss.

"Well, that wasn't very nice of you," you remarked crossing your arms.

"I'd love for no one other than me to hold your attention," he says, "besides, you already have that cat at home, madam."

"Oh, yeah!~ You're that cannibal chick my boss has been talking about non-stop. Thanks to you I've been given some time offs," Angel thanks as he gives you a smirk.

"Boss? Hmm, are you talking about the Vees?" You ask.

"If so, if you haven't heard. Vox and I~" you trail off with a dark smirk and a dangerous look in your eyes, "aren't what you call friends."

They fall silent desperately wanting to take a step back. They'd rather be called cowards than to face your wrath.

"But! What can you do?" You grin and shrug, shaking off their uneasy feelings abruptly, "Just one of those legendary rivalries to be written in the book, aye?"

"I agree!" Alastor replies giving you an adoring look.

'Right. They aren't fucking normal.'

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[threepandas]

Bad End: After The War (Next ->)

The click of a button in a mostly quiet room. Machines humming as they churn an endless stream of data. Listening. Receiving. Filtering through the noise, for those bits of intelligence that might win us the war. The outpost was quite. As much as it could be, at least, on this god forsaken moon.

"Perimeter Check?"

More specifically, 'did you get your ass eaten by those horrifying eel-snakes? Because you promised not too, and I WILL be mad.' 'Cept, you know, these channels are technically recorded. Rather not have my snark On Record, thanks. So SUBTEXT.

The familiar, oh so melodious, demonic death screeching of abomination eels and blaster fire comes on comm. A symphony straight out of some sci-fi horror movie, act 3. The part where everybody's getting eaten. Except NOT, because this? This is just my life.

Though the eaten part is still a Very Real Risk.

Which Is FUN.

I wait. Hope I just caught Headshot at just a bad time. Not, you know, in his final moments. Ha ha... Nope! Not! Thinking 'bout that! He's immortal, I'm immortal, and we both live in a happy fun time fairy land of FUCKING WONDERS. Denial? Fuck yeah I know her! Best friend, that one. Gonna be my future kids godparent. Walk me down the aisle. We BESTIES.

There is finally, at long last, ominous silence. Dead or dying? Dead or dying? Which side, eels or Headshot, is Dead or-?

Click.

"Perimeter looks good. Bit of a mess near the east gate, though. We'll need to get the droids to shove some mess over the ledge. They tried to climb again."

Oh thank FUCK. Tension bleeds out of me. This post is hell on my anxiety. I send back the confirm. Slump back on my seat as I keep an eye on his tracker's dot, on the patrol read out. I fucking HATE perimeter checks. They aren't safe. But... well...

This universe? I'm pretty sure, it's an "all the serial numbers filed off" blatant rip off of Star Wars. Might be a fan fiction? Cause, while the troupes are familiar, the "characters", no one is where or WHO they should be. There are also other "totally not X" bits here and there, all of which confuses the fuck out me.

But what I DO know? Is that making a fuss about the safety and well-being of us peons? During this, the "totally not the Clone Wars"? While Evil Dick, Sith-y Pants the Obvious is in charge? GREAT way for our entire outpost to get "tragic casualties of war"-'d. So yeah, no thanks.

Keeping my mouth shut.

And, hey! At least they ate our complete asshole of a commander. Technically we SHOULD be getting a new one... but we were told to make do. Same with all the OTHER critical roles currently empty.

The DICK.

Like? I know he wants to drag out the war and maximize suffering for Evil Not-Sith, Off Brand Space Wizards Of EVIL Powers? But like? Fffffuck yoooou, dude. What the hell. Hope he stubs EVERY toe, always.

The Clones deserve better then this. The SECOND the war is over? I'm stealing Headshot. Fuck this "property of the state" bullshit. Just me 'n him, man. We could go explore the wilds. Or get him a beard and fake glasses. Clone? What clone! This is my BROTHER, Headshot. Our parents were gun-toting hippies. My names Moonrock. Fuck off, maybe. Keep walking.

The second I see him cross the base threshold, I switch over to Droid command. They can't hold my shift forever, but for a bit? Should be fine.

Jogging down the hall and sliding down a few ladders, I finally catch sight of Headshot as he leaves the staging area. Oof. That is a LOT of eel blood. The cleaning bots are cursing up a storm as they follow him. Even from the other end of the hallway... he smells... ripe.

I give him a second to lead the way and for the bots to work behind him. Then join in the little parade. Ah, eel goo. The third worst thing that could come out of going outside. Right behind losing a limb or dying. But hey! I restocked the soaps for ya!

"Doesn't change that it's on my everywhere, Commander."

Oooooh~ breaking out the COMMANDER are we? Is that SASS I hear? Snark perhaps? Why HEADSHOT! Such insubordination~! What EVER shall I do?

He snorts and suggest something anatomically impossible as he gestures to the shower rooms door. I tap it open for him. Goo boy that he is. Grinning I follow and find a bench where I can sit so my back is to him. It... used to be weird, to be honest, this level of living in each others pockets. But time and isolation has eroded a lot.

Clones don't really see boundaries like everyone else. Don't have the same taboos or unspoken social rules. After all... they're all the same gender. Were forced to live basicly in a breadbox with each other. The culture that developed reflects that. And I? Am more of a follower then a "type A". Not passive by any stretch of the imagination, just... eh.

I don't have the social outgoing-ness? I guess? To drag the culture of our base towards MY social norms as opposed towards his. It made him comfortable. I shrugged and went okay. Rinse and repeat. To be honest I was just glad he trusted me enough to SHARE.

Booting up my definitely-not-a-tablet, (which is of course, STUFFED full of various bits of sci-fi technology that only half makes sense) I once again try and connect to the wider army's mainframe. Nothing. I've BEEN trying for weeks now. But for some reason? We're cut off.

No new commands. No new forms to fill. No demands for information.

No UPDATES on what the FUCK is HAPPENING out there.

I'm... not gonna lie, getting nervous. We're a listening outpost. Some of our information is time sensitive. And our SUPPLIES are not infinite. Forget food, if we run out of AMMO? Those nightmare snake-eel THINGS will... Look, long and short of it? I've got an "empty" blaster shoved under my bunk. Two shots left. And compared to the slow, SLOW digestion and meat threshing teeth those horrors have?

At least it's FAST.

But I would REALLY prefer we NOT fucking come to that, you know? That someone would fucking PICK UP. Or? I don't know!? Notice we're offline? Whatever the problem is! The fact that we've gone dark is SPOOKING the fuck out of me.

Not to mention? That even BEFORE communication went down? The chat rooms and update boards weren't making a whole lot of sense. Lot of clone specific references that I didn't get. Memes, maybe? I don't KNOW and that's the part that's killing me. I had no way to CHECK. It all just... went dark.

We're still GETTING data. But? We can't seem to SEND it. Headshot and I checked. I checked the droids while he got the dish and other external devices. Clambering around the roof with his sniper rifle like a well armed, circus trained, mechanic. Nothing was wrong with the droids. And according to Headshot? Nothing was wrong with the dish.

After a while I gave up. Again.

Reminded myself to practice my meditative breathing. In... out... IN... OUT... do NOT trough your only Data Tablet. You'll break it. You can't REPLACE it. It might FEEL satisfying in the moment... but it's Not Worth It. Just listen to the sound of the running water. The quite of the room. Breathe... unclench your jaw, make your muscles relax, c'mon you can do this.

Fuck, I needed my anti-anxiety meds. But we were starting to ween me off them so I didn't go cold turkey when we ran out. It was fucking with my head. But, hey! At least I wouldn't run the risk of seizures! Or any suicidal ideation! No, just slowly building anxiety, in this, History's Most Stressful Outpost.

The shower shut off behind me. Leaning forward to grab a towel from the stack, I tossed it blindly over my shoulder. Heard him catch it. Wet feet slapping quietly against tiles as he walked forward, drying himself. From the feel of droplets and heat, looming just behind me? He was leaning over my shoulder. The man always did like to damn near boil himself in the shower.

"Still nothing? We've run out of D6 bolts. Not to mention your meds..." He commented, still drying off. I could feel the occasional brush of a towel. A bare arm reached over my shoulder to tap at the screen. "Have you tried...? Shit."

He tried several commands. Leaning over me, damn near cradling the back of my head against his bare chest. But nothing worked. Plopping his chin down on the top of my head, he casually wrapped his arm around my shoulders, leaning his weight on me as he considered the problem. The fans kicked in overhead, dehumidifing and hopefully preventing any sort of alien molds.

I told him to go put on some fuckin pants, before he frozen something he might miss off.

With an amused snort he stood and wandered over to the armor cleaner. Grabbing a new undersuit. Blacks went on, armor freshly de-goo-d, he called that he was presentable once more. I swung my legs over the bench. No need to stand, after all, if we're not leaving yet. Besides, exhaustion was a symptom of the withdrawals. Med changes are a BITCH.

Just as I was about to suggest anough brainstorming session, though?

Our comms both ping. LOUDLY.

That's the emergency signal from the control room. SHIT. I'm up and running before the sound even fades. Headshot right behind me. Not so much because he can't out run me, as he'd stop to grab his weapons as was bringing up the rear. Guarding my back. I prayed, PRAYED, this wasn't an attack. We were supposed to be a fourteen person team.

There were TWO OF US.

We'd never be able to hold the line. Would DIE here. Fuck, I didn't even have time to get that gun! I should have been carrying it. It had been too morbid. But... but...!

I slam into the control room. Headshot a half step behind. The droids frantically churning away. Okay. Okay! What's happening? A ship, big one, in orbit. Oooooh fuck. How Big? I ask. Am informed? "Wipe us from the face of the galaxy" Big. Ha ha! FUCKING FANTASTIC. Great! Merry fucking Christmas to me, I guess! Okay. Okay!

Let's DO this.

Get on the short range ship comm, (never thought I'd USE it but here we fucking ARE) and ask, politely, for them to Fucking Identify Themselves. (Because we have Big Guns and are NOT afraid to use um!)

There is a long tense moment. Then? Oh thank merciful FUCK. A Clone's voice comes on the line. General Spark of the 153rd, in pursuit, they're here to catch traitors and resupply if we need anything. Permission to land a few ships?

I. Could. WEEP.

Yes! Oh, ABSOLUTELY yes! Whoever they're chasing picked a REALLY stupid planet to hide out on, not gonna lie. They'll be picking their traitors up in PIECES. But? Never has a voice been more beautiful. Send Techs! You have FULL use of the outpost General! Welcome!

Setting the droids to navigating the incoming ships safely through landing, I all but DRAG Headshot towards the landing pad. People! Actual, real, PEOPLE! Supplies! Oh thank FUCK! We might be able to figure out what wrong with our relays! Get NEWS! And? That was a CLONE GENERAL!!!

That NEVER happens!

I can practically feel my self vibrating with excitement. Bouncing slightly on the balls of my feet, as the ships come in for a landing. The officers that roll out are all clones. Their armor more personalized then I've ever seen it. It's BEAUTIFUL. I can't help but lean over and whisper to Headshot, saying as much. Wondering if we can get him some of the supplies they must of used.

You know, assuming he WANTS any of um.

If not? Dibs.

His shoulders are shaking. Why are-? One of the officers thanks me for the compliment. Headshot you SON OF A SUBSTANDARD VAT. Was your SHORT RANGE MIC ON!? Why would you not-!? Bastard! Dead to me! Sorry general, I've never met this man before in my LIFE. Couldn't introduce if I TRIED.

Still! High ranking clones? We love to see it. I am THRILLED. It's been long over due.

Dooooesn't mean we should hang out in Eel Country though. Everybody INSIDE! Let's goooo. Nice and safe, where no ones getting eaten, m'kay? Thank you! And yes! I DO have a list of resupply needs! A LONG list. Starting with my meds, followed by ammo. Though honestly they're tied at first...

As me and the, now rather concerned, medic chat about the collapsing state of our highly rationed medical supplies? Headshot and the General are off to the side... talking about... something. Not sure. Probably not important, or he'd include me. I show the medic our "infirmary" and medical charts. Then get pulled away by the mechanic.

I barely get to SEE Headshot over the next two days. Forget sitting down. The only breaks I get? Meals and lights out. It's kinda awesome. Exhausting, yes, but? After so long isolated? It's a good type of exhausted. The sort where you feel like? For ONCE? You're actually being productive.

There are SO MANY eel burrows to scan? Potential landing sites? And all the MAINTENANCE? Dear merciful FUCK. Literally everything is out of date and cheap as BALLS. Held together with shoe strings and a prayer. But finally! FINALLY! Someone in budgeting GIVES A SHIT!!! Better equipment! Actual medical supplies! Real bedding! And best of ALL?

AIs! As in Actual, information sorting, artificial intelligences!

Because there literally hasn't been a REASON for humanoids to do this job for CENTURIES aside from a misplaced sense of superiority and distrust of droids! All WE need to do? Is stay on base and make sure THEY don't go rogue or break down from the extended isolation! Woooo desk job!

I'm gonna name um. They shall be my BABIES.

That said? None of this? Is very... Off Brand Sith-y. Little too "cares about their fellow man"-ish, you know? And... I'm not stupid. Excited as FUCK, for all the supplies and new changes... but not? Stupid. Blind.

They're keeping me away from the control room.

Keeping me out of important discussions. Sending me off on errands. All of which? SEEM important. ARE important, on the surface, but hide the fact that they are intentionally scheduled? Just as Certain Things Are Discussed. I am being... handled. Like a child. A fool.

When I confront Headshot? In our bunkroom, which we've shared for YEARS at this point. Slept just across from each other, so this lonely hell might feel just a little less empty? So when the dark thoughts creep in? That we might die in this God forsaken place, forgotten by the universe, left to ROT here, and wouldn't it just be easier to-? Someone there, so we won't. So we still matter.

He stands across from me. In OUR place. OUR room.

And FUCKING LIES.

......I guess I know where I stand, huh? And I know... I KNOW, I shouldn't feel betrayed. Clones come first, always. That's the party line. How they survived. I'm a Nat. There was always a power imbalance between us. I would always have been held just that bit further away then one of the brothers. Guess... guess it just finally happened.

I shouldn't feel betrayed. I have no RIGHT to feel betrayed.

But I do.

Headshot looks alarmed, hands twitching at his side, even as he tries to maintain his facade. Nothing's happing. They aren't doing anything. Right. Uh huh. His lie sits between us like a field of broken glass. The words, the arguments, I'd been looking for now seeming so useless. What's the point? He's made his decision.

I feel like crying. Don't want to talk anymore.

Good NIGHT, Headshot.

In the morning, I don't bother asking. I know he notices. Is waiting, restless, for us to continue on as we always have. We always check schedules after all. But what's the point? He'll lie. Instead I pull my armor on and go. Go to your brothers, Headshot. Whatever's happening here, I'm clearly not trusted enough to be part of it.

I just get out of your way.

There's a lot of busy work on my schedule, but honestly? The new AIs are learning to handle it. Instead, I head down to the new supply crates. Grab some bedding. A cart. Then head back. Pack up my shit. I just... can't.

Moving it all to a different bunk, I still have most of the day left to go. Could...? Probably? Check out if we actually DO have space rats? The droids have been reporting dust and noise in the basement, near the food stores. So likely vermin of some kind. Gonna be horrifying to find out what kind of vermin exsist HERE, but better then nothing, I guess.

Grabbing one of the better ration bars to shove in my face on the way to the gun locker, I count it a breakfast. Everyone's busy with a clone only meeting. Good for them, I guess. Not upset with General Spark or his men, I realize, as I check over the gun, no... just Headshot. Because he hurt me.

All he had to say was "I can't tell you." Or "trust me" and I WOULD have. But no. He LIED. To my FACE. And now? Now I feel like I'm waking around with shards of glass where my heart should be. Like I want to hit something. I need a distraction. So down to long term storage I go.

Normally? It's only droids down here. I have to ride a cramped little maintenance elevator lined with blast doors. You know, incase Satan's favorite pet somehow burrows in. The fuckers. It's also freezing. Which, I mean? Great for food storage, not so much for thermal regulation.

The level is eerie quiet.

Which.... huh. That's? Not right.

I reach for my comm before pausing. The hurt in my chest throbbing. I know I shouldn't let it get in the way of professionalism. Of protocol. The rules are there for a reason. To keep us alive and safe. But... God, I don't want to hear his fucking voice right now. I might cry. Say something I don't mean and regret later. You don't LAST long, isolated out in Hellpit, Nowhere, without doing a little soul searching.

Mortifying ordeal of being known and all that.

My hand drops. It's fine. I'm FINE. There's nothing down here. Or, well, should be nothing down here. We'll find out.

Slowly moving forward, I begin to check the stacks. I don't see any of the droids. Don't HEAR any of them. There should be at least thirty down here. But all I hear? Is the circulation fans. The sound of my foot steps. Something isn't right.

It's a loose, half melted screw in the path that saves me. At first I think it's a bug. But the quite clink when my foot nudges it is unmistakable. It makes me look sideways. There, a cleaning droid, cut down from behind. Tiny little mechanical claws still reaching out to claw itself to safety. Wheels shredded. The marks of a lazer blade are unmistakable.

The hiss-hum even more so.

I BARELY dodge.

Half my gun, simply sheared away. Molten slag dripping from the cut point, the battery already violently destabilizing ask it's nicked. I throw it, before I have the chance to lose a limb. The blast takes out a crate. I'm thrown. Barely roll in time to dodge the downward stab of the hissing blade. A brutal, magic-enhanced, kick sends me flying.

Straight through a stack of ration crates, into a wall mounted medical case. I land among the corpses of the droids. Each, a picture of terror and betrayal. I don't understand what's happening. The blades not red or black! It's blue! That's a not-jedi! Right?! Why are they!? Crates are lifted into the air. Threatening to smash down and bury me alive.

Can't move. Something twisted, badly, in my leg. My chest burning. Something cracked, I could feel it. I'm gonna die. Oh good, I'm gonna DIE.

"Wait! She's not a clone!"

I stare up into the face of the so called "good guys" and feel nothing but terror. Around me, the pieces of thirty droids I'd named and known, dead and dumped like trash upon the ground. Flower with his fussy need to have everything just so, Chirp who loved to sing, Mouse with the wheel I could never get to stop squeeking.

Nothing but Cannon fodder.

They died so afraid.

"Oh! You're right! Sorry! I thought you were one of those 'peating bastards. Are you okay? How long have they held you?" The Knight said. His Apprentice nodding eagerly.

My brain was static. Empty. Held? Slurs? W-what in God's name? I stayed down. Feeling small, lost, and confused. Pain rocking my body from being thrown around. The Apprentice, at least, seemed to pick up on the fact that I had no idea what the fuck they were on about.

"Ah. You don't know what's happened." She said sympathetically. It would be nicer, if she hadn't stood back while I was hurt, before they got around to asking who's side I was on. "The Clones betrayed the Republic. Took it over by force. They've made an empire. They killed the old Chancellor, who was Fallen, but then instead of handing the Republic back to the people? Kept it! Said we couldn't be trusted with it."

The last part was said mockingly. As though everyone and their brother hadn't been aware the Republic was on the brink of collapse. Corruption at an all time high. As though that same Republic hadn't been using the Clones as a SLAVE ARMY.

Slaves do tend to take exception to their chains, historically.

I wasn't really sure why the fuck they were surprised.

"Now come on, you can join the Rebellion. You must know all sort of information, from sitting out here, right? You can-!"

Click.

My helmet went full dark and internal audio only. Which was interesting because I still could barely move. But then bright light and sound, popped and cracked not to far away from my head. A flash grenade. And I finally, FINALLY? Remembered that all standardized armor? Comes with in built life support feeds.

Headshot's mystery meeting was in the command room... where my life sign readout would be. The life support feedback. Real time monitoring from me getting my ass kicked and WHERE.

A hand grabs the drag handle built into each armor, for EXACTLY this reason, and I feel my self pulled out of the danger zone. Can hear heavy, open fire. Shit. There goes our supplies. My helmet clears and I recognize the shoulder I've been careful thrown over. Headshot. He came.

He falls back at some signal I can't see. Straight to the elevator.

The shoulder under me is shaking, just slightly. Adrenaline, fear, anger. I can't tell. But... I... I'm...

"Don't." His voice is rough. Choked out through gritted teeth. His grip just carefully loose enough not to bruise. It seems to be taking everything he has. "You don't get to die. Do you understand me? You're not ALLOWED to die. Not now. Not ever. We didn't survive this long for you to leave me now."

He barely waits long enough for the door to open. Stride smooth and desperate as he races us towards the medic. I rest my head against his shoulder and breathe. Let myself be manhandled. Ha ha... a-at least? I know what he's keeping from me now. So there's that. Ow. Oh god.

The medic has to put me under. Bone fragments.

I drift.

Wake up, bandaged to hell and back, in ou-... in Headshot's bunkroom. Across from the empty bunk that used to be mine. Bed's softer then it should be, still smelling like Headshot. We haven't had the new sheets long enough. Knowing him, he probably stacked um.

The door opens. Headshot stalks in, dragging a cart behind him. His usual "pleasantly amused by life" expression nowhere to be seen. Instead? His expression is... blank. A determined, almost violent, edge to the set of his shoulders.

In silence, I watch as he unloads the cart. Bedding, knickknacks, the various bit of cobbled together wall art. All carefully stuck right back where it had been before. As though he had memorized the proper location of each and every piece. Even as he worked, with his back to me, every line of his body was daring me to be dumb enough to argue.

I didn't want too. I was just... just fucking tired.

Didn't like that we were arguing. If that was even what we were doing.

"Why?" I asked. Summing up everything and distilling it. Why didn't you just fucking TELL me? Why didn't you TRUST me? Why did you think I'd turn on you? Why would you lie? Why were we cut off? Was it REALLY a technical error? Why take the Republic? Why ANY of this?

Just... WHY, Headshot? Please...

"I refuse to lose you. When the war ended, you were going to leave. You said you'd take me with you... but honestly? That was naive. There would be no where safe we could ever go. We all knew that. We all had favorites." He finally stopped organizing my bed. Instead, smoothing down the sheet. Running both hands across it as he stared down, unseeing. "It was all so unorganized. Filthy. They treated us like DIRT. But we were... we ARE better. Designed to be superior. Stronger, smarter, faster. More durable. Why were we listening to them?"

"Then we found out why. Control chips in the brain. The nervous system. Carefully hidden, yes. But not carefully enough. You weren't authorized, you know. I'm glad. If you had been? I'd never have forgiven you. You'd never know you were dead before you died. But... I promise."

"I would have made it fast." His smile was a terrible thing. All broken edges and betrayal. Teeth upon teeth. A mania finally set free.

"Never thought those hypocrites would run here. Expect us to die for them. The happy little slaves. For the glory of THEIR Republic. You'll be okay, Commander. The General's agreed to stay until your back on your feet, just in case."

Headshot slides onto the bunk, sitting at my side, sweetly brushing hair from my face as though he hasn't lost his god damned mind. He's the picture of relief, now that there's no more secrets between us. Now that I'm injured and dependent on his help. Yet... it's teetering.

As though at any minute...

He could slide into some... unhinged state of mind. How LONG has he been on his last thread? Barely holding together? He leans forward and my mind goes utterly still. His lips pressed gently against mine. Chaste. Sweet. A warm, calloused hand, cradling my poor bruised cheek.

"I promise we'll stay together." He whispers against my stunned mouth. Eyes intent and mad, utterly loving. Like a strangers. "I won't let them seperate us. Not for anything. Now that it's done? We can be assigned anywhere. I'll take you with me. War's over, love. We're finally free."

Were we?

[crusty-chronicles]

Airheaded S/O Headcannons #12: Uryu (Bleach)

You honestly irritate and drain him at first

That being said, he is probably one of the most capable people when it comes dealing with your bullshit.

Remember Orihime during the soul society arc?

Yeah, he's got the patience of a god

Perfectly equipped for handling your chaos, albeit begrudgingly

"Whaddya mean I can't fight that guy?" You complained.

"You dimwit, he's at least double your size with double the spiritual pressure!!!" Uryu retorted while gesturing to a particularly large arrancar.

"Booo, you're no fun. I like Ichigo better."

His pride won't allow a blow like that, so he tries to show off to prove that Ichigo is in fact not better.

When the enemy is finally defeated, he's met with you clapping and cheering like one of those soccer moms.

Admittedly, it does get him a little flustered. But it's a major ego booster, especially from you.

The first time he met you he had no idea you were completely brain dead

It was during his first showdown with Ichigo.

The hollows wouldn't stop coming, and what's worse, a Menos was starting to crossover from Heuco Mundo.

It was just too much and too overwhelming at the same time.

And then a spike of spiritual pressure came from next to him and Ichigo.

The surrounding hollows being defeated before you made your presence known.

Giving a look between the soul reaper and the Quincy before scowling.

"This isn't a dick swinging contest! Actual people could be hurt, so get your shit together and get rid of that thing!" You lectured before shooting a little ray of reishi towards another group of hollows, decimating them completely.

It felt like you were almost as strong as a Lieutenant from the Soul Society.

Which was admittedly shocking, but gave them enough time to knock the Menos back from where it came from.

"Thank you, for holding the other hallows off." Uryu figured it was the least he could do after you stalled for so long.

"Huh? Oof-!"

You just tripped.

Over nothing.

And then shot right back up.

"OH NO I LEFT THE SHOP UNATTENDED!!! TESAI'S GONNA KILL ME!!!"

You were odd. But that could've been a coincidence, right???

It was not a coincidence and now he's wondering how you manage not to get yourself killed everyday.

"Do NOT slice the box cutter towards yourself!"

And then he shows you how to do it properly so you don't stab yourself.

Will always complain about you ripping your clothes during a fight, and then proceed to stitch up all the holes.

"Wait, I can have little dandelions on that part of my sleeve?"

"Shut up, you should be glad I'm fixing it for you at all."

Makes sure he has the right thread to embroider them on 💀💀💀

You're bleeding profusely?

"Why don't you want Orihime to heal you? She's a pro at this." Uryu complains as he's cleaning up your wounds.

"Because I like you better. And you're good with stitching."

He's extremely embarrassed but appreciates the compliment.

Also, he probably has to take you to the hospital because you definitely need a blood transfusion.

You 🤝Pesche = Uryu's sleep paralysis demons

The two of you together make him want to pull his hair out.

One makes his life hell on purpose and the other (you) on accident.

But you get a pass. You're actually useful in combat.

Kisuke's adopted child™ so you're extra strong 💪💪💪

Doesn't realize he likes you until the bounts show up and he gets abducted by Yoshino.

You kept up with her surprisingly well, despite being injured by Udagawa.

Giving a relentless pursuit to get him back

But you could only push yourself so much with the gash on your side that eventually, Yoshino's doll managed to land a direct hit on you.

The next time Uryu sees you is when he wakes up in his father's hospital.

Everyone bursting in to come and see if he was okay.

Then there was you who made your way in on crutches with Kisuke supporting you.

And before he could ask if you were okay, you practically collapsed on top of him.

Giving him a bone crushing hug before finally speaking.

"I'm just so happy you're okay."

And it was the way you said it that had him smitten.

Like you really were worried about him.

Like he was actually important despite not having his powers anymore.

Yeah okay, maybe he didn't have anything to prove.

At least not to you.

Another one of the unfortunate few who tries to court you normally.

Except it's way more awkward.

This man has absolutely no idea how to approach you now that he has these feelings for you.

"I got you flowers."

"Oh... I'm allergic, but they're still pretty though 😃"

A little embarrassed but not deterred because it wasn't a 'no.'

Tries to make you food.

Key word: tries because he forgot about the fact that you and Orihime always share

Uryu, you fool! How could you be so blind?!?

☝️his actual thoughts as his attempts to court you keep failing.

But his last and final attempt finally works.

He was once again trying to show off to you while fighting a hollow.

He was doing fine up until he fell flat on his ass dodging an attack.

You'd been so quick to divert the enemy's oncoming attack before helping him up.

"Hey I got you, okay?"

And he just blurts it out.

"I'm in love with you."

And your bright smile makes him relax.

"I know... Ichigo told me."

"HE WHAT!?!?"

100% babies you.

You keep forgetting to pack your lunch?

Don't worry it's already on the counter with a little sticky note inside.

You scrapped yourself on who knows what?

You're in good hands, he's been around a hospital enough of his life to know what he's doing.

He'll even give you a kiss over the bandaid if you want to 👉👈

Speaking of hospitals 👀👀👀

Ryuken absolutely hates you

Like with a fiery passion

"Really? Them?" He gestures angrily over at you.

And it's you making silly faces at a nervous kid going in for surgery to make them laugh.

Uryu's so smitten. 😊😊😊

"Yeah. That's the one."

Does get a little insecure but not exactly jealous

He doesn't understand what you see in him.

He's not exactly the strongest or the most good looking.

The only thing he's confident in is his mind

And even then it has the tendency to fail him.

But you don't seem to see that

For whatever reason, you like him

Flaws and all, you chose him.

Will only call you sweet nicknames in private.

Among them are: love, sweetheart, baby, dear, hun, and his personal favorite - sunshine.

Prefers to fight for you than have you join in and get hurt.

Even if he's more at risk of being injured than you are

His Quincy pride just won't allow it.

NEXT UP: Gaara (Naruto)

MASTERLIST

An: A long boi because I'm currently watching bleach right now. Honesty all the men in bleach are so fine and I'm probably gonna add grimmjow for my bonus headcannons

[howlingday]

jaune is spiderman au) in which jaune is everyone's favorite webslinger, going by the name Huntsman (after the huntsman spider) downside he lacks the tech other spidermen have, upside he's already got tons of superstength and durability before he unlocks his aura! however his story is a little different than most spidermen, since everyone around him is a bad ass his grandpa (who's this story's uncle ben) doesn't die. instead when a white fang operative tries to rob him grandpa arc draws a revolver shoots his enemy dead and holsters without breaking stride. people at the scene describe him saying to himself "it's a hell of a thing killing a man" while walking away. take us through the life of a spiderman that the universe doesn't hate

A universe that DOESN'T hate Spider-Man? Oof... Tall order there, friend. But, sure, I'll see what I can do. Before we begin, might I regale you with my research? If not, skip to the read more. When I was playing Shattered Dimension for the PlayStation, there was a bumper in the loading screen explaining that there was a Parker of York Spider-Man who was a knight cursed with the blessings of a spider. I thought to look into this for inspiration, but I came up with bupkis on that. Instead, I found three different inspirations that used the name of Spider Knight. The first is Spyder-Knight from Disney's Ultimate Spider-Man. Not really anything too interesting. Just a knight in Spider-Man armor. Then there's the Prince of Arachne, who was a Peter Parker who worked for the noble Osborn family. He left after Princess Gwendolyn died in his place when Norman Osborn tried to kill him with a chandelier. Peter became knight and served as the Prince of the kingdom, sadly leaving a heartbroken Mary Jane to weep for his return. Then there's the SpiderKnight, who is a fusion of Spider-Man and Moon Knight, which is Peter Parker with D.I.D., including him, the witty voice of The Spider, the serious voice of The Knight, the confident voice of The CEO, and the techy voice of The Science. And then there's SpideyMoon, which... is a thing, apparently? A CANON THING, TOO! Like, apparently, they dated, but it's never brought up again after one mention in one panel? Actually, now that I think about it, I think that was just a joke Spider-Man made. But, yeah, that's what I found. Anyway, here's your Huntsman Spider AU~!

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Chapter 1 - Somethin' Sensational~!

There is an old saying, often told to those who begin questioning their lot in life...

"There are those who are born great. There are those who achieve greatness. And there are those who have greatness thrust upon them."

For one such young man, named Jaune Arc, he wasn't quite sure where he fit into these categories. One could argue he was born great as his ancestors were all heroes and imbued upon him the genetics of a great warrior. However, it could also be argued that greatness was thrust upon him when he awoke one morning with unusual abilities that allowed him to sense danger and climb up walls.

The third category, however, Jaune was certain he wouldn't fit into. His chances of "achieving greatness" were slim to none. Even if he'd somehow managed to stumble his way into Beacon Academy, a school for Huntsmen and Huntresses from all over Remnant, he still a poor fit as both a leader and a hero.

That said, he still did what he could to help out anyone he could. Like his grandfather taught him. "If you can do it, then just do it." His work schedule as a midnight superhero was a bit of a mess, but it's not like he could just stand by and do nothing. Especially not when his world was tearing itself apart.

"I'm screwed..." Jaune groaned into his textbook.

"Is that so?" Ren, his roommate, asked as he read from his own book.

"Doctor Oobleck is going to eat me alive tomorrow. I've been so busy dealing with the Torchwick gang that I wasn't paying attention to anything he's said this past week."

"You could always ask for a remedial class." Ren turned the page.

"And when would I have time for that? When you've already graduated while I'm still trying to figure out what color underwear Gura Belladonna wore when the White Fang disbanded?"

"Ghira Belladonna." Ren corrected. "And you don't have to worry about the underwear color. Just the cloak color. Which was..."

"Red?"

"No."

"White?"

"No."

"Green?"

"No."

"I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"Yes."

As Jaune slammed his face into his book again, he scroll suddenly buzzed. It was an emergency alert from the school...

"All students are required to remain away from Vale downtown due to a robbery in progress."

"Ren?" Jaune shut his textbook and ran to the closet. He snagged his backpack, complete with his superhero suit, and ran for the window.

"I'll tell any girls asking about you that you just missed them." Not looking up from his own studying. Jaune's leaving had become something of a routine at this point.

"Yeah, right." Jaune opened the window. "Like any girl would ever ask about me." Leaping out, he ran up the wall to the roof. Easier to change from there.

"3... 2..." A knock came from the door. Ren stood and opened it, finding his best friend and her roommate standing with their own textbooks. "Hello, girls."

"Hi, Ren~!" Nora cheerfully greeted.

"Hello, Ren," Pyrrha also greeted, albeit more demurely, "is Jaune here?"

"You just missed him." Ren said with a smirk.

--------------------------------------------------

"There's trouble downtown."

"Mhm."

"Do you think it's the White Fang?"

"Could be."

"This used to be such a nice city."

"Mhm."

"If only the police would do their jobs."

"..."

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune made his way from the school to downtown as fast as his legs could carry him. It was times like these, which happened every time there was a crime to be stopped, that he wished he'd brought his bike with him to Beacon. At the time, he didn't think he'd leave the academy very often, and even now he argued that it would only make it more obvious who this masked vigilante stepping in to stop crimes that huntsmen were either too busy, or too corrupt, to stop was.

Thankfully, he'd developed a routine by now and figured out the fastest way to downtown was by train. He didn't have a ticket, so he'd have to hitch a ride. Last time he tried to jump on it while the train was still in the station, the conductor's refused to move until he jumped off. For some reason, people didn't trust masked vigilantes when they said, "I'm trying to stop a crime from happening!"

Jaune was now downtown-bound with his eyes on The Gilded Crown, the biggest bank in Vale. Keeping low to the roof he quietly prayed that whoever was tough enough to make such an attempt was also nice enough to give up without a fight. Sadly, they were more the former and less the latter.

The train began to slow and Jaune leapt off the train and made a running start for the building closest to the station; the Vale CCTV News station where Lisa Lavender gave her unbiased view on him. And when Jaune says unbiased, he means that he doesn't like what she says but replies, "to be fair to her", to each of her arguments. After all, The Huntsman Spider is, was, and, for the foreseeable future, will always be a vigilante, not a huntsman or a police officer who work by codes, regulations, rules, laws, and everything else that stops a person from doing the right thing.

An extensive and drawn-out hop, skip, and a jump later, Jaune was watching the scene play out. Police, huntsmen, and huntresses were engaged in a firefight with bank robbers wearing black fedoras, black suits, red ties and red glasses. The Torchwick Gang. Jaune was weighing his options when he spotted someone breaking into the side of the building, through a top floor window.

"Hm," Jaune hummed, "either this vigilante thing is catching on, or there's something else going on here." Looking down to the brave boys and girls in blue and green, he decided they had enough on their plate without him 'getting in their way', as they like to say. "Think it's time I give them a break."

--------------------------------------------------

"So, Ren~?" Nora leaned in, cooing with a sweetness in her voice. "Any idea when Jaune will be back~?"

"I don't think he'll be back until late." Ren answered, not looking up from his textbook.

"Seriously?" Nora gave a long sigh and fell back onto his bed. "Isn't he failing history?"

"He's been studying. I'm sure he'll be fine on tomorrow's exam."

"Well, that may be so," Nora jumped from her back to her knees, "but there's a lot more important things to worry about than studying!" She glanced over to Pyrrha. "Like maybe getting closer to your friends~?" She waggled her brows.

"Nora..." Pyrrha gave a small pout. It was true she held an affection for Jaune, but it wasn't something she needed to focus on. She was attending Beacon to become a huntress, not to find a boyfriend. Getting a date for the weekend wasn't important right now, even if it's something she really wanted.

"Jaune and I are plenty close, Nora." Ren replied, not looking up from his book.

The two girls shared a look.

--------------------------------------------------

The inside of the bank was dark. Torchwick's gang must have shut off the power to make this heist a little easier for them. Jaune looked down from the rafters above as the black-cloaked goons of Vale's most dangerous criminal continued to unload bullet after bullet against the "protectors of the innocent".

Jaune understood it was a hard job to be a police officer and a huntsman. That's what his grandpa used to do, after all. However, according to the man himself, things have gotten way to lax and hard in the wrong places. When he threatened to go to the council, couple of dirty cops pinned Jaune's grandpa with a crime he didn't commit. No charges were pressed, but he was stripped of his badge and had his good name muddied.

From what Jaune had seen, this wasn't the case for all of the police, but still too many to just blindly trust all of them with everything. So he decided to let things play out down below while chasing the shadowy figure moving ahead of him. He kept his distance, following the obvious trail they left. Open doors and open windows practically screamed-

"This way!' Jaune looked down and watched as the goons started running deeper into the bank. Huntsmen and police wouldn't be too far behind. Jaune had to work fast.

Jaune's head throbbed, and his back slammed against the wall by a doorway on instinct. Bullets sprayed from the other side, meaning stealth was no longer an option. Holding up his arms, keeping his target in view, he charged forward as bullets ricocheted off his armor plating. When he got close enough, he ducked low and pushed himself forward into the figure.

That didn't work, though, and he what he jumped into fell away like solid smoke. His head throbbed and he rolled away as soon as he hit the ground, narrowly avoiding the swipe of a blade. As his rolling came to a stop, he watched the figure flee around a corner, beginning the chase again. He was about to indulge when he heard shouting from the other direction.

Following this noise, he found another large room, though this one wasn't riddled with bullets like before. Instead, there a group of hostages, all tied up and gagged, with the largest of them being yanked to his feet by Torchwick's thugs. Jaune could play cat and mouse with his lead, but not when there was somebody in trouble. Jumping down from the second floor, he landed on the balls of his feet and hopped forward. The gang members gave shouts as they aimed their weapons at him. He ran to the side, keeping clear of the hostages, and chased after the running gang members.

They dragged the large hostage down the corridor leading to the back exit. Jaune barreled through and knocked aside any criminal that got in his way. When they got up to try and chase down their assailant, they were captured by the pursuing huntsmen. Jaune made it to the back alley where the hostage was being shoved into a long car. Jaune made for a running jump and landed just as the car was peeling out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jaune shouted as the car swerved around, trying to shake him off. For better or worse, Jaune wasn't flying off with his hands sticking to the roof of the car. His head throbbed and he rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding a blade stabbing through the roof. His head throbbed again, instigating him to roll aside once more. By the time the third stab came, he rolled himself into position over the window. Giving a little hop, he smashed through the window, and everything started to slow down around Jaune.

The guy with the blade, shocked at the sudden intrusion, fumbled with his weapon before trying to stab Jaune with it. The thrust was avoided as Jaune slid into the vehicle with both hands now removed from the roof. Curling into himself, Jaune punched one goon while grabbing hold of the blade from the not sharp side. He then kicked the blade goon as Jaune tugged on the blade. One goon pulled his gun on Jaune, but the hostage jumped into him, giving Jaune the chance to avoid being shot and knocking the goon out.

"You okay?" Jaune asked, untying the hostage. "You usually hear about these kinds of things happening on trains."

"Aside from the glass in my suit," the man grumbled, scowling at Jaune as he removed the gag from his mouth, "I'll live." He took the gun and made his way to the front, where he tapped on the glass. The window opened and he shoved the gun through. "Pull over!"

"Whoa, whoa! Careful!" Jaune shouted. "No need to get violent!"

"Really?" The man asked sarcastically. "After kicking the hell out three asses, shoving a gun into a fourth is where you draw the line?" The car slowed to a stop.

"Wouldn't you?" Jaune asked, trying to ease the tension.

Without looking at his savior, the man replied. "You sound just like him." His arm twitched. "And you. Try anything funny and you'll wish you killed me back there."

Jaune, not sensing any danger, exited the limo with the large man. The man took the lead and brought Jaune into an alley where he could escape. Before he left, Jaune and the man had a talk.

"Look, kid, I get that your heart's in the right place," the man said, "but a lot of people got hurt today. If you want to help people, be a huntsman, or a cop. Don't make things worse by putting on a mask and being a hero."

"I have to, though." Jaune said. "If something bad happens and I could have stopped it, then it's no different than if I did the bad thing." Jaune's voice was a bit shaky, since this was a much larger man he was speaking to, but it was the honest truth.

"You really are just like Ghira." The man chuckled.

"You know Ghira Bellafauna?"

"Belladonna, and yeah. I used to work for him before..." Sirens wailing in the distance started getting louder. "You better go kid."

"Sure." Jaune jumped onto the wall and was about to climb up. "Oh, uh, one more question, if you don't mind..."

--------------------------------------------------

"Well done, Mr. Arc!" Doctor Oobleck called as he handed Jaune his test. "...is what I would say if your score were just a little higher. You may have passed the exam, but I expect much better from you in the future. Keep studying and you just might get an actual 'Well done'."

"Er, thanks, Doctor Oobleck." Jaune said, sheepishly taking the exam into his hands.

"Guess you were studying without us, huh, Jaune?" Nora remarked.

"Well, something like that." Jaune chuckled. "Ren and I have been really hitting the books this past week."

"Yeah, well, some things are a lot more important than studying, you know." Nora rolled her eyes.

"Nora..." Pyrrha grumbled.

As Jaune ignored Nora, he felt like someone was staring at him. He looked around, his eyes passing over the classroom until he caught someone looking right at him a few desks away. The girl looked away, keeping her eyes glued to her exam paper. He recognized her, but more as a friend of a friend than an actual friend. Blake, wasn't it?

[oh-no-its-bird]

For the Uchiha Houhua AU, how does he survive the massacre? I'm guessing either he uses his poison skills to fake his death or he does the 'actually I was a prodigy all along' thing in front of Itachi. Itachi spends the next several years being driven a little insane by finding this out about his old friend.

Also does Houhua incarnate as a baby? Because if so he was probably old enough to babysat by Obito. I feel like you could do something interesting with that.

On that note his relationship with kakashi. Like that's his little brother figures sensei, and he was a shizun in his last life, he knows what it is to be a good teacher and kakashi in the early series is not that. If he also knew Obito and knows that that's his eye in kakashi's head? Oof.

How much of the Uchiha eye thing does he get? Does he have his sharingan? Or the mangekyou?

Also, wasn't it cannon that part of the reason why danzo let Itachi let Sasuke live was because he was a moldable child? How does he feel about having a semi adult Uchiha still alive? I feel like Houhua is walking a constant tightrope of protecting himself and Sasuke and not being seen as a threat by the creepy old man.

THIS IS A WONDERFUL QUESTION!! I. Am not too sure, actually

I feel like it'd probably be him trying to fight back maybe? Faking his death absolutely sounds like the shit hed do tho, so hmm might put that in his back pocket too

Either way, Houhua vs Itachi 1v1 where they're surprisingly well matched sounds really fun I cant lie.

Mmmm, maybe he can 1v1 Itachi and hold up surprisingly well? Itachi is doing the what is this, how are you doing this, have you been hiding yourself from me this whole time?! routine as Houhua goes fuck shit oh my god oh my god I cant believe that worked oh fuck--

Then Obito fucking teleports behind Houhua and stabs him. Oopsies!

Houhua somehow survives due to genuine luck, and gets a hint about there having been more than 1 person at the massacre maybe?

Idk if thatd work tho. Mmmm so many thoughts.

I do think that no matter what, Houhua would have to be "defeated" in some way. Play dead for a bit. If he comes out of the fight having visibly won, it'll spell problems and set dominos in motion I dont want dominoing just yet

So no matter what, he's ending the fight face down on the floor

ALSO THATS. SUCH A GOOD POINT ACTUALLY SHIT, DID OBITO HELP BABYSIT HIM?? Houhua did reincarnate as a baby, tho I think there was some soft mental block on him becoming truly conscious till he was at least around 5 years old. So by the time he was conscious at least, Obito was already gone. Rip!

I think that Kakashi wouldnt be immune to looking at Houhua and seeing the reflection of another cry baby ninja, though Houhua wouldn't have any real memory of Obito (tho he might have heard ab him before, with some clan members comparing them quietly when they think he's not listening)

Anyways I need a scene where Houhua and Obito meet once Houhua is older and Houhua straight up says "You know, I never did get why people thought we were anything alike" as a clear insult

Rare Houhua w !!

I think Houhua has an unusually difficult time manifesting anything w his eyes just bc of the emotional walls he has up between him and everyone around him. He does not allow himself to feel deeply for anyone enough for his eyes to be affected, no matter how fond he may grow of them. There is always a wall between him and the world.

I do also however think that no matter how hard he tries to distance himself from the people around him, even having known for years now that they'd all die this way, seeing the people who he was raised around all die to the hands of a boy he might have grown fond of--

Yeah.

Not even he's immune to that.

So when the massacre happens, he'll at least get his sharingan, tho idk how man tomoe (and I cant really remember what is needed to gain each tomoe, so, oops)

I do think he'd have an incredibly difficult time manifesting his mangekyou, for all the reasons above, so if he ever does it'd be way down the line.

I also think it'd be super fucking interesting (especially from an outsiders perspective) if he manifested it somehow due to MBJ's involvement, since his reincarnation is wandering around here somewhere as Jun, and does not remember Houhua

Houhua has no explanation for why he cares about this man deeply enough to manifest the mangekyou. Sorry.

Also, Im ngl, as I write this I can totally see an argument for something along the lines of "well Houhua went through a fuck ton of trauma as SQH, so what if when he regains his memories around 5, he automatically unlocks his sharingan just through that remembered trauma? Then just keeps it secret for years until the massacre"

I think that could be interesting tbh, it would also tell a story all on its own ab his grief for his past life and all the people there. Smthn to think ab, idk

Houhua is a bit too old and way too clever for Danzo's liking. hHis one only saving grace is that, on the surface at least, he's a fuckin worm of a boy and has literally no achievements other than having survived Itachi

He isn't worth getting rid of yet, but Danzo has an eye on him, just waiting for a reason to potentially knock him off.

Good think Houhua decided not to go the child prodigy route!! Putting his own flaws and weaknesses on blast to all of Konoha probably saved his fucking ass with Danzo. At least for now, anyways.

[absolutebl]

BL recs (from any country) that don't have any s*x scenes? I'm too ace to enjoy them at all. Happy ending preferred, angst v welcome:)

BLs Without Sex Scenes

Oof, this is a hard one. Is a dead fish kiss okay? I do have a heat sorting on the spreadsheet of doom, and there are some with no kissing at all, but a dead fish kiss is in most of the HEA ones.

BLs with No Kisses

21 Days Theory (Thailand, YouTube) - the only thing I didn't like about this pulp was the fact that they don't kiss, so... yeah, this is my first pick for you. Very YA first love angsty, fantastic queer rep and side characters. RECOMMENDED

My Esports Genius Brother (China, Gaga?) - it's hella odd censored bromance but enjoyable. No real angst tho.

HIStory My Hero (Taiwan, Viki) - basically a BL with no sex or kissing, but also body-swap so is it BL? I can't remember the end but I think it's happy?

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan, ????) - this 2017 yaoi adaptation is a full on BL just no kissing at all. The source manga (I Hear the Sunspot) is a favorite of mine and the casting was decent. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for you (but not in general). Grey only.

Love of Siam (Thailand, ????) ALL THE ANGST, I'm pretty sure the most they do is hug, I could be v wrong though because too sad for me to ever rewatch. Very formative to the Thai BL industry.

The Lover (BL cut) (Korea ????) sometimes you can find the BL cut on YT, it has slapstick comedic sexualized moments that are maybe a little homophobic (or something), no actual sex or kissing, but no angst at all. (Korea's working some shizz out with this early offering.)

Kabe Koji AKA Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru (Japan, Viki) - I watched this and I was excited about it before it aired, but I seem to have expunged it from my memory and kept no screen caps in annoyance, so that's all I got.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea, ????) - a crossdressing historical that flew utterly under the radar. I decided it just wasn't really BL, but it has BL aspects and it's kinda a little queer... or something. Grey only.

Evening Cafe (Thai pulp, YouTube) - No heat and no kisses, but a decent lead pair, about a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, that's the whole story.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea, Viki) - Has no kissing and many people found it really good as @isisanna-blog reminded me, thank you). It certainly has ALL THE ANGST. (I did not like it at all, but I'm a terrible judge of this kind of BL.)

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan ???) - this is such a lovely show, very warm and comforting and slice of life. There is very little angst, they too old for that shit, but little to no sexual content either. It's very warm and loving. A safe extremely yet queer show - and oh boy do we not get many of those. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Censored Bromances

So No Kisses (TM) for the gays but the hets might do stuff I didn't pay attention to. All these from China. Some happy, most not.

The Untamed

Word of Honor

Guardian

SCI Mysteries

Stay With Me AKA Addicted 2.0 (I never watched this so there may be rough play)

Mr CEO Falling in Love With Me

The Fairy Fox

Youth in the Breeze

Precise Shot

Advance Bravely

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

The "Ghost Boyfriend" series

Past Youth

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)

Recommended Shorts with no kisses, but cute & fun

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube)

One Last Order (Korea, Gaga)

Love Advisor (Thailand, YouTube)

BLs with Dead Fish Kisses (maybe? only one, if any)

His the series: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan ????) - (NOT His the movie) this one has all the angst you could want in your whole life. ALL OF IT. Japan wins at emo, it's their THING.

Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho (Japan ????) - there's sort of some bed tussling and implied sex but you could imagine them just being snuggles for the mains, the sides have dead fish kiss. In general there's some angst but not much. It's fluffy and great. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bonus: overt ace representation for one of the side characters.

Meow Ears Up (Thailand Viki) - sides may kiss? I enjoyed this pulp especially at the start, the premise is fun. I think my biggest complaint was lack of kissing.

My Love Mix Up AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan Viki), a case could be made for a demi seme in this BL. So much frenetic angst around bisexual identity crisis. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Ride (Thailand Gaga) - my favorite Thai BL pulp the sides have a good kiss and the mains do kiss but it's v dead fish, not at all sexual, and it comes at the very end. Otherwise extremely chaste, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this BL, queer and complex and engaging.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan ????) - This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. The only kiss is the one pictured above, v dead fish. Full review here.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korea WeTV) - 12th Night goes BL in this cross dressing historical that ended up feeling like a Cinderfella fairy tale, lightly dramatic and utterly charming. Full review. There is one dead fishy kiss at the end but it's otherwise aggressively pure.

If you like this last style of KBL (with a kiss at the end being okay, I have quite a few more to recommend). Until 2022, most KBLs only had one dead fish kiss in them, so you are pretty safe with pre 2022 KBLs. They tend to be quite chaste and de-sexualized. Other good examples: Wish You, Light on Me.

That's all folx.

Some of the above I may be misremembering (since I don't rewatch this kind of BL and my memory is shit). And I may have forgotten some too, so I hope comments with jump in.

Others to consider:

(source)

[distort-opia]

I will forever be thinking about Red Hood's fall in the vat. Just the angst of it is just *chef's kiss*

The sentiment of betrayal from Joker at Batman, the shame and guilt of Batman for failing Joker. I bet they both think about that moment a lot, wondering what could've been (specially Bruce on that) Did they remember the exact date? Have nightmares about it?

I wish comics would dwell on that more

Not entirely sure if you're the same Anon, but it felt like these two asks are connected. And I gotta say, yes, 100% agree.

I love the original portrayal of the fall into the vat, the way it was done before Zero Year. I do love what Snyder did with Joker, but I really dislike what he did with his origin in that comic. Making Red Hood obsessed with Batman from the very start, making him let go and smile as he does it to spite Batman... it entirely redefines his motivations and makes him too much about Batman. The way I personally reconcile Zero Year and The Killing Joke plus all other depictions of the acid vat fall (like in It's Joker Time) is through what Bruce and Joker need to believe.

Snyder's already established that Bruce and Joker remember things differently. In Endgame, Joker accuses Batman of having pushed him off a cliff in Death of the Family, when in actuality it was Joker himself who let go. In a similar manner, I think that Bruce is remembering Red Hood's fall as done intentionally to spite him because he'd rather not see it as a suicide attempt, done by someone scared and at the end of his rope. It's easier to think of it that way, isn't it? Red Hood was crazy and refused to let Batman save him on purpose; it wasn't that Batman failed to do it, it wasn't that he scared the guy so much he chose to go over a railing.

But well, I do forgive Snyder for this, because he's the one to write most of these moments of conflict when it comes to Joker's feelings towards Batman... like in Endgame, and Batman (2011) #48.

I can't help but gush over some more depictions of it though, like in the following story:

Batman: Black and White (2020) #2 -- The Spill

I love this little comic for this, for showing Joker pissed off at his supposed dependence on Batman and being like "You know what, fuck you, this time I'm letting you die". And then Batman being incapable of not saving him, even after Joker was going to walk away.

Then there's Joker's nightmare in Knight Terrors, even more recently:

Knight Terrors: The Joker (2023)

Beautiful imagery of Bruce stuffing his mouth with lobster aside... Joker's nightmare is basically Batman dying, and then him being incapable of finding another purpose. Him managing to kill Batman isn't shown as something victorious for him, it's realizing that he put too many of his eggs in one basket and thinking that perhaps he doesn't like that. That being so obsessed with Batman is not something he wants. God, there's so much to say about Knight Terrors and Joker's portrayal in it, but perhaps the most potent imagery is at the end of his nightmare. Joker's always wanted to infect everyone else with his laughter, with his way of thinking... and it finally happens. But then, he doesn't want it, because what Gotham wants to do now is destroy Batman. To kill order, sense:

Knight Terrors: The Joker (2023)

This is a literal depiction of Joker's conflicted feelings over Batman, because his psyche split after Batman's death. Part of him became Batman in the absence of him, and part of him remained a Joker who refused to admit Batman was dead. And then these two parts each acted in different ways, gave different orders... the part of him that was pure Joker ordered his followers to not listen to the part of him that needed Batman. Rosenberg, I am kissing you on the mouth for this one.

Oof, I got this long and didn't even mention Joker War, but yeah! In case you haven't read these two stories, I recommend them for showcasing Joker's conflicted love/hate relationship with Batman, and what he means to him.

[cuephrase]

Of the DC comics you've read so far, what would be your top recommendations for people to check out/what have you enjoyed the most?

when i tell you i have been thinking about this all day- i have been thinking about this. all. day.

so disclaimer, as of writing this, i have only read 31 runs from start to finish and 18 arcs/events outside of those runs. on top of, everything i've read so far has been strictly robin-centric, so dick, jason, tim, and damian. (i have read all of steph's robin appearances lol, but i haven't gotten to reading material for her, like say batgirl 2009, yet.) i've also decided not to rec from any run i'm currently reading, so for example, you won't see any batman: gotham knights recs here. because i'm most well-read on the robins, i'm only going to rec for them.

also, i'm going to operate under the following assumption: you've got a basic knowledge of the robins. none of these are where i would necessarily recommend anyone start reading about the boys, but i do think they'd be pretty interesting if you're already somewhat familiar with them and don't want to commit to reading whole character backlogs. does that make sense? i hope that makes sense.

alright, let's do this!

DICK GRAYSON

oh god. this one is actually so hard because he has so much great stuff, but then also i have like a love/frustrate relationship with so much of it. like for instance, i really enjoyed The New Teen Titans, but also lowkey can't stand space adventures so whenever that went down i was like 😀👍. but okay. hmmmm.

i have two preboot recs, with explanations + caveats.

devin grayson's mob!dick arc, so Nightwing 1996 #99-100, 107-117. caveats: it doesn't really get to finish playing out/wraps up weird because of editorial changes/infinite crisis. but!! it's a super interesting look at how dick handles...failure. how he values himself in light of that failure.

tomasi's run, but specifically #147-153. (listen, i love the dick and tim moments in 'freefall' but the whole eternally pregnant lady thing was too weird.) this is classic, hyper-competent dick, okay? he's such a bad-ass. and an idiot- bro literally flops his severely injured ass over the bars of his glider and rides it UNCONSCIOUS back to the batcave. i can't with him. poor alfred. anyways, he deals with two-face, always a good time. and then at the end, as a treat, he cries because bruce is dead. so fun!! what was my caveat here? oh yeah, he has a girlfriend. i don't remember her name, she serves like...very little purpose, the whole relationship is very minor/background okay, but like it was so unnecessary. he can be single, dc, it's okay.

for post re-boot, just read tom taylor's run!! it's the best thing ever!! zero complaints!!

HA. yeah, just kidding. that run is very like/frustrate for me lol. oh man i'm struggling here. it's not all bad okay, i'm just really picky, and i haven't re-read any nightwing n52 and onwards since my first foray into comics (8 months ago) so my memories of these are the foggiest and i'm not sure how i feel about all of it in light of what i've read now. yk what, i'm just going to...not rec anything. sorry!!

JASON TODD

his comics either go so hard or they're absolute ass, why is there no in between. istg, i can't figure out why writers struggle with him so much?? well. i mean, i do have theories. but you didn't ask for those!

pre-boot:

detective comics #569-574. robin!jason in the hands of writers who like him is so much fun. which, don't get me wrong, i don't flat-out hate how starlin writes him, but i think you get a more well-rounded view of jason as robin when you also see him in 'tec. jason and bruce tangle with the joker, scarecrow, + mad hatter, and all of those adventures are...idk if they were intentional foreshadowing okay, but reading those and knowing where the story goes? oof. especialllllly #574. caveat: #572 is pretty light on jason, but he is great when he's on panel!

reboot:

probably a very basic answer but rhato rebirth (2016) #1-13, annual #1. i abhorred n52 rhato so i almost skipped rhato rebirth since it was still written by lobdell, but i'm really glad i didn't. i really enjoy jason's relationship with bizarro + artemis, but especially with bizarro because i think jason struggles a lot with feeling like a doomed creation, so yk, parallels. i want to say more but i know i'll get too wrapped up in discussing jason so i'm just going to stop myself.

i actually really enjoyed task force z, too. i think about tfz #8 so much, jason is such a manipulative little shit and i love it. he's so- i can't. i can't get into this rn, it deserves its own post(s).

overall for jay, i need people to read something other than utrh/lost days/b:ul 1-6. i love those, i do, but they aren't the only good pieces of jason content!!

TIM DRAKE

MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!! in my heart of hearts, i just want to rec his whole robin run lmao. dick was my intro, okay, he is why i decided to start reading comics, but tim, specifically his robin solo is why i'm still reading comics. hooked me fr. and young justice 1998, ugh love. but it has been a minute since i read these as well, so hmm. okay okay okay

pre-boot:

batman: prodigal. short version, tim is robin to dick's batman. super fun. there's a solid amount of dick and bruce angsting too, which, love. tim is honestly just thrilled that jpv is out of the batsuit and even happier to working with dick. very cute.

robin #46. listen. they're all superheroes okay, they all feel pressure to save people. but tim...losses get to him. the amount of times that he gets shoved to a breaking point and then...gets back up. keeps going. *screams*. anyways!! this is not tim getting back up, okay? this is him being shoved way, way down. it's so good.

teen titans 2003 #20. tim's dad has died. he shows up for his weekend at the tower anyways. he is not okay. that's it, that's the pitch. i did not like...mmm at least 80% of this run okay, but a few of the issues HIT and this was one imo.

reboot:

*deep sigh*. look. tim is not tim for like basically all of n52, although there are moments here and there were he feels like himself. i did not like his 2023 solo, the best parts of young justice 2019 imo are the character designs, (except for his drake costume, what was that omg), and i haven't read any rebirth batman/'tec yet. except for zdarsky's run. which. tim is good there! but yeah, not really a whole lot of material to work with + very limited reading experience atm.

DAMIAN WAYNE

god, i love this kid. nature vs. nurture fascinates me, and so much of his story digs into that on top of trying to figure out who he is apart from all of that. i will say, i'm not a huge talia fan and by that i mean, i have no idea who she is "supposed" to be, like i have no frame of reference for that atm, so if you are a huge talia fan these recs might not hit for you because from what i've observed from her fans she is not well portrayed a whole lot since becoming his mother? i think one of the things that is normal is dick absolutely disliking her though, which cracks me up. there's this older batman story (batman #322-335) where bruce works with talia and dick goes running to selina and i was so entertained. what were we talking about? oh! damian!

preboot:

batman and robin 2009 #10-12. damian is struggling, with a lot of things. the fact that bruce might be alive, what that means for him and dick, and his mother's puppeteering. there's this line that kills me: "can't you just love me for who i am? not what you want me to be?" and the thing that gets me, is the use of who vs. what. because he could have said, "not who you want me to be", but he doesn't

reboot:

batman: shadow war. this is post-alfred's death, and honestly, most damian stuff post city of bane is pretty juicy, but there's this specific moment in shadow war: alpha #1 that had me speechless. just like 😧 i love bruce, but that man has some of the most chronic foot-in-mouth disease. oh but fair warning, for whatever reason they don't draw dami's mask connecting?? it's so- it drives me nuts.

JUST FOR FUN

these are just two issues that i enjoy for the brother content!

nightwing 1996 #25. dick and tim's relationship makes me ILL. *ahem*. this issue is mostly just super cute and fun, (there's like 0.2 seconds of angst when tim asks dick if he ever thinks about jason 😭) and i adore it sm. fun fact, it's actually one of the first comics i ever bought!

batman 2016 #16. unfortunately, tim is not here for this, but duke is! jason and damian's interactions in the background of bruce's Very Serious Speech are excellent. bruce is so dramatic and his kids are so unserious.

what i've most enjoyed

i've enjoyed the majority of what i've read, even titles/events i wasn't particularly looking forward to but had on my tbr for whichever character. i'm going to break down most enjoyed into two catergories, arcs that i loved top to bottom and then the guilty pleasures. this is not an exhaustive list, just what immediately came to mind.

top to bottom

bruce wayne: murderer?/fugitive. shocker, ik. but it's just, it's just so frickin good. i've said before, and i'll say it again, gotham war could NEVER. this right here is peak batfamily drama. the tension? the mystery? the angst? i knew nothing going into this okay, and truth be told, when i started it i was like "oh joy. another event." because i was just trying to read the 1996 nightwing run, but i'd committed to reading in full all the events it crossed over with. but i was invested so quickly. and like, i loved how the narrative supported the possibility that bruce was the murderer, because like, you know there's no way, but the more that comes out the more damning it is, and so you're like really dying to know what actually happened and i feel like the reveal was satisfying.

batman: city of bane. i'm going to cautiously put this here, because there might have been something i didn't like but i cannot recall it for the life of me right now. something about me is i love when the heroes lose. infinity war, empire strikes back? love. and ik bruce takes back gotham, but they lose alfred, okay, they lost. i also didn't expect to like this arc, i decided to read it because i wanted to know how alfred died. and first of all, i was shocked, even though i knew it was coming because i expected it to like happen towards the end. but nope. just *snap*. and then later when bruce is back in the manor and is confronted with alfred's body and his good-bye message? oh. my. god. i was bawling. despite my penchant for sad narratives, i don't tend to cry that much, but this got to me so bad. like i had to pause because i couldn't see. amazing.

red robin. his cowl is so ugly, but i really do love the run. i see a lot of discourse about it and also a lot of...interesting fanfic takes, so i don't really talk about it a lot here because it feels like most people are kind of tired of hearing about this run, which fair. i really enjoyed it as a sequel to his solo robin run. tbh, i almost put this in the guilty pleasure catergory, because there are a couple things i don't totally love, but like if the others are 10/10, this is 9/10.

young justice 1998. i love this comic so, so much. i don't even know what to say, i get so overwhelmed with joy when i think about this comic. nothing has hit the same way with this group since either, which is a crime. i need a title with this team so badly.

guilty pleasures

these are all runs/events i know some/most? people cannot stand and i totally get why, and i have problems with them, so i'm probably never going to rec them in good conscience but also like i can't lie and say i don't like them. these are not recs, okay? okay.

robin war. is it a hot mess? yes. but there is not a whole lot of canon content out there with all the boys working together, okay? so much of that event had me banging my head into a wall, but for me, there were a handful of pearls in there. i mean honestly, if i listed out pros and cons the cons list would be way longer but those pros are very precious to me.

batman and robin: eternal. very similar reasoning overall to robin war. plus cass finally came back!! i missed her. i love robin!dick and batman content, and the kids working together. this is probably my least favorite guilty pleasure though, okay, it's on thin ice.

grayson. listen, i love janin's art sm. i'm pretty neutral about spy stuff, so like i don't engage with it a whole lot. meaning, although i've heard it's tropey af in regards to the genre, i'm not familiar enough with the genre to be like trying to dig my eyeballs out with blunt spoons at the cliche of it all. the constant sexualization of dick got old super fast, and her name may have been helena but she wasn't- my list of dislikes is lengthy. but idk, i had fun with it. and imo it does have some genuinely great moments, i love dick in the desert with the baby, the ache i felt when dick wanted to come home and couldn't get ahold of bruce, issue #12 stabs me in the heart- the dick and dami reunion? stoppppp. i feel like this run and the ric grayson era are dick's most out there lmao

so yeah!! thank you so much for this ask, i had sm fun answering it. if you have any recs for me, feel free to drop them :)