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vanya-evergreen · 9 months ago

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How to remember.(Chapter 1)

Masterlist

Relationship: BatFam x reader (platonic)

Summary: At the age of 11, you woke up in an other world without any guidance and all the money you once lacked. You were left with only your memeories and your other memories.

You tired to remember, their life, but it seemed like they didn't want you too. So when trying to navigate the intricate sides of an elite schoo, but you always got in trouble when it came to faces and names.

Cw: brief description of gore

No use of Y/n

Wc: 5k+

A/n- Woo first post! Exciting but so nerve racking, honestly have never posted my fanfic before. So, sorry if its kinda rough, had no one to beta, bare with me please. The characters are probably OOC, since I only recently got back into DC after seeing the "do the butts match post?" from the ai voice reddit post on tik tok. But you what that's more fun anyways, right? anyway please enjoy a really really random idea

Tick tick tick tick

The room was quiet, with only a few scribbles of pens or pencils to fill the void. You resided at your desk, hunched over, while resting your face on your hand. Your eyes lazily review the assignment in front of you for the 7th time. You had finished the assignments for the day, with each answer being correct that left you with only your thoughts. Your eye twitched, turning your head slowly toward the window, while slowly moving your head from your hand to the desk. You went through your day just to try and remember, waking up, first 2 classes, all fine. Until, on your way to your current period, you ran into a younger student, probably a sophomore, maybe a junior.

You cringed silently, you were just in your mind, really your memories from both this world and your original world. When you ran into a younger student, you both fell and could only manage a quick sorry before moving on. He was barely getting to his feet when you turned away, you were so stuck in your mind that you couldn’t even offer a proper apology, let alone your hand. You can't help but think back to the faint whisper you heard as you walked away. You made a mental note to find and properly apologize to him during lunch, if you could remember what he looked like, seeing as you only really saw his keychains on his backpack as they jingled when he got up.

Your head started throbbing as you thought too much, you shut your eyes tightly, wiping your mind clean, then opening them again .You stared out the window, trying not to think much, just trying to learn to just exist. Why is existing one of the hardest things to learn? You watch the clouds clash into each other slowly creating an ocean of a scale of whites and grays. You slowly let your mind blank, even just for a moment, it was nice.

You could slowly feel your drifting off, almost like you were disconnecting from your physical body. Until the sound of mindless chatter started up in the back of the room, pencils still wrote, notably faster than before. This means the period was almost up, so that means lunch and trying to find that one guy. You sat up, collected the assignments from your desk, then got up and turned them in. You got back to your seat right as the bell rang.

You picked up your stuff and got out of there as quickly as you could, just to round the corner to be surprised by an underclassman. He had green eyes that made very uncomfortable eye contact with yours. You almost immediately looked away from his very intense glare. You side eye him and see his bag. The keychains.

“Shit” you let out under your breath as you released your present problem. Your eye drifted back to his face, he didn't look all that happy to see you. ‘definitely him’. “Hey man, listen…” you started. You felt genuinely bad about earlier, you could only imagine how big of an asshole it made you seem like.

“Who are you?” his tone was blunt, with a twinge of annoyance.

Your mind stalled, that's not what you expected him to say. You thought he would threaten you or maybe pull the ‘do you know who i am card?’ or ‘I am going to ruin your life’. You felt the hostility he emulated, you felt uneasy. You furrowed your eyebrows, opening and closing your mouth a couple of times. The almost seemingly endless stream of words in your mind were stuck in your throat. “ ___ ___” you choked out with your last bit of brain cells.

“ Where are you from?” His voice shot straight through you. He gave you no time to collect your thoughts from the initial question. Your mind was scattered from how fast questions came at you. The unease in your stomach grew.

“Uh, gotham, like everyone here.” Confusion clouded your already foggy mind , ‘what did this have to do with me running into him earlier?’ “ I am sorry about earlier by the way.” you added quickly with a sorrowful expression, the cloudiness didn’t consume your intention to apologize.

“Gotha, hm, how come I have never seen any event?” he ignored your apology. ‘Okay, that's rude.’ You tried to grasp at whatever you could to respond.

“What events?” was all you could get. You felt like you were going to faint from the speed of his questions. Why did he care so much about what you did, you were just a stranger to him.

“Galas, business meetings…” he listed off different types of high end events, but you didn’t really listen after the first two. Your head was spinning, you had to try and collect the scattered pieces of your mind.

You rushed your recovery, you went from being up in your head for the last 20 minutes to being pulled down, through the earth’s crust, into a cave being interrogated by someone you have never talked to before this. ‘Who the hell is this guy?’

“I am sorry, but who are you?” You interrupted him midway through his next question, ‘that was a great idea’. “Am I meant to know you or something?” Ah yes, your most infamous line. You put your hand on your forehead, trying to rationalize this interaction. His mouth was open, he looked almost offended by your question.

“you’re joking?” he exclaimed agitated, he creased his eyebrows. You had to get out of there.

“No.“ You turn your head to the side, throwing your hands up in the air while turning your upper body away.

“ Well okay then, have you ever heard of the Waynes?” You do remember hearing about Wayne enterprise last time you went to the doctors, like when you first woke up in this world, which was like, 6 years ago, maybe. That doesn’t really matter. You had heard of it.

“The company?” you questioned. He groaned, if in relief or annoyance, that was beyond you.

“Yes, but what have you heard about the Wayne family?” he looked you square in the eyes, you turned away slowly not really saying anything. You looked guilty. “Nothing?” you nodded assuring his previous statement. Still not meeting his eye, not wanting to deal with that memory for the rest of the day. “How?��

“I don’t read the gossip columns?” You suggested with an awkward shrug and chuckle. You only now realized that there was a wall of students formed around you and him. You definitely had to get out there now.

“What? What do you mean” he was really pissed now, but you didn't even hear half of what he was saying you were just trying to find the quickest way out of here. You looked around looking for an opening within the students. You noticed one right behind him so you had to be quick about it.

“Listen, I am so sorry about being early, I didn't mean to make you fall, really.” you seemed less sincere than before, you were trying to make sure that you didn't seem rushed. “I really didn’t and if it had been any other time I would have made sure that I had offered my hand but I just wasn’t entirely aware. I am sorry, again.” You had made your way around him away around him as you talked, you maintained eye contact with him until you were able to slip in between the students. “Please forgive me, and I am sorry I couldn't answer your question adequately.”

“Wait-” you heard him shout as you speed walked away, trying to blend in with a group of students that were walking down the hallway. He, of course, saw you slip into the group and approached you. You had to think quickly, thankfully there was another group of students that was going the opposite way. You quickly slipped into another group, successfully avoiding him. You could only finally breathe when you made it to the dining hall without running into him again.

You went into the lunch line, trying to just forget whatever the hell that was. You moved through the line slowly, grabbing whatever looked appetizing today. One of the many good things about going to a rich school was that the food was edible. You were grabbing the last bit of your lunch before you felt a cold air run up your spine, you said a silent prayer in hope that it wasn’t who you thought it was. You tried not to look, Maybe if you didn’t look he would leave. You remained calm and walked with your food to the table where you sat with your friends, making sure to make yourself as unnoticeable as possible. You were able to sit down and eat most of your lunch before you felt him approach your table, you could feel a cold sweat develop on your shoulders as you took your last couple of bites.

He gradually approached, carefully looking over everyone trying to figure where you were. Your friends were having a typical conversation, what they were doing that night or where they are going to college and what they are going to study. Until one of them saw him approach. “Is that Damian Wayne approaching us, right now?” that when you realized why he was having a hard time with you early, you couldn’t recognize him or his family, but your friends, who never cared for status and the tabloid’s talk recognized him, or Damian now that you had a name to the face. You straightened up when you heard this.

Your friends looked at you strangely until they realized you were the one he was looking for, and you did not want to be found. They acted quickly. They, as naturally as possible, started to clean up. Throwing away trash, and putting away their food. They even helped you pack up, and as a group you slipped out of the dining hall into a hallway, then out into the courtyard. You would have to thank them later with some homemade baked goods. They really came to your rescue today.

You looked at your phone, 12:45. Lunch was almost over, never would have you thought that you would be grateful for that. ‘Only 5 more minutes’. Your relief was somewhat short lived as you had to now answer their question. “So, what happened?” one of them, Leah, asked flatly.

“Well you see…” You started not really wanting to talk. You looked around trying to procrastinate this conversation.

“Stop putting this off” Another one, Warren, jabbed you in your side with a pencil causing you to flinch.

“Fine…” you sighed feeling defeated, ” So, today I may have, made him fall, but I also fell.” you signed as you talked. you looked down and then back up at Wynn hoping for their pity only to be met with a vaguely threatening look to continue. “And after 3rd period he was waiting for me in the hallway and he asked who I was. I told him my name and then asked who he was because he was asking me a lot of questions.”You smiled with fear behind your eyes. They looked at you mouth agape, no one could be as out of tune with the news as you are.

‘What the hell? Did you even apologize??’ Wynn signed, they were not happy with you.

“ The fuck you mean you didn’t know him?” Leah exclaimed, grabbing onto your shoulders and shaking you very violently, making you feel sick. You knew you fucked up bad when Warren did have anything to say.

“Wynn, I did apologize!! Like 3 times too, and I am sorry I am too busy thinking of other things!” You continued to sign as you talked, trying to defend yourself. Warren and Leah were lecturing you about how stupid your actions were and Wynn was just shaking their head. You started to tune them out when you saw the door open and of course Damian came outside. You quickly got up and picked up your stuff.

“We need to finish our-” he started before being interrupted by the bell ring. Much to your luck.

“Hey, well see you guys later, I need to get to class” you waved goodbye to your friend and signed ‘please don't kill me’ to Wynn, before you ran past Damian to your 4th class, They all exchanged looks with each other before you friends quickly walked away to their own classes. You made it to your 4th period without much trouble, besides a few stares the class went perfectly, boring but fine. The next 2 classes were a mix and repeat of your 4th period, only with increasing whispers every time you walked in a class.

It was finally your 8th class, study hall, you were able to get to your normal spot without much trouble. You were even able to put in your headphones and start working on a rough draft to a machine that you were designing. You sat most of the day up until this point, so your arms always felt stiff. So you stretched your arms, only to hit something. Quickly retracting your arms back to your side, you turned around. ‘FUUUUUU-’ It was Damian. “Heyyyy.” you slowly turned back to your computer in front of you, taking off your headphones.

“Are you gonna avoid me again?” He was looming over you, you could feel the burning on top of your head from the way he glared at you. You shut your laptop and braced yourself for all the questions he was going to ask.

“No.” You shook your head, he sat down across from you. You looked anywhere but at him.

“The events, why have I never seen you?” He went straight to it.

“I don't think I am famous enough to go.” You shrugged, he raised an eyebrow at you suggesting that you were lying. You were ticked off by this. “ Listen, If I have gotten an invite, I have never seen it.” You folded your arms.

“ How did you get into this school?” You didn't really have a clear answer to this one, “I have heard about how you could never recognize people who are from well known families in Gotham, and some that were even famous by themselves.”

“A trust fund.” That was your typical go to answer, but in all honesty you didn't know. While you had some memories, a very limited amount, of this body's life, they were almost all blurry. None of them were really clear, but you could feel what they, the other you, were feeling. You could make really rough assumptions. Like you knew you had a mother (or a female figure) that you loved, and somewhere along the way she got remarried and you had step-parent up until she died. You could feel the way the memories would cause a physical reaction so you tried not to think about it too much. “And I just have never really had the mental space to pay attention to that, plus faces and names aren’t my thing.”

He wasn’t satisfied with your answers “So what? You just don't know anything about the world?”

“No, of course I pay attention to the crimes in Gotham, and the people that handle them.” This wasn’t a lie, you did pay attention to that, you even knew their names, a big honor to have, in your mind at least. You were a huge fan of them, even before- you know.

“Hm.” He slouched as he contemplated your answers, while resting his hands intertwined together maintaining eye contact with you. There was silence between you two, it was too long. You restlessly tapped your fingers on the table while resting your head on the other hand, watching him. Waiting for whatever comes next of his seeming never ended questions, but he seemed to be stumped.

“Is that it?” You broke the silence “You have everything you need to know. Right?” You straighten your back, now sitting up right. He only continued to stare. Internally you rolled your eyes before you put one of your headphones on.

You opened your laptop, quickly glancing over the blueprint for the machine. You were getting bored of this. you looked blankly at your computer screen. ‘I wonder what I can find about Damian's family.’ What a dangerous thought to have. You, with a renewed vigor, quickly opened a new search window and started simple. ‘Wayne family’ you were overwhelmed with the number of results. 2 billion. 2 billion. You understood why Damian was so shocked now. That was just for the family too; you count the profiles, 9.

First, you clicked on ‘Thomas Wayne’, you were somewhat familiar with the name. You read about the tragedy of how he died, you knew this story, you watched a true crime video on it a couple of years back. You felt it was only appropriate to make your way down the family tree so you clicked on ‘Bruce Wayne’. Of course you could assume he was Damian's father. There were links to articles about some scandal of his or how his business was doing. You read a bit further only to find out that the man adopted a lot. Like, you had wondered how he had 6 children but guess that was your answer. You were about to click on Damian's profile only to stop.

“What exactly are you doing?” So he didn’t lose his vocal cords. You snapped out of your trance by his voice.you realized how funky what you just did was.You felt a bit like a creep now, searching up his family in front of him was not the best idea.

You coughed clearing your throat “Why do you care?” You tried to keep an even voice.

“You were staring so intently at your computer that it almost looked like you were planning something.” He leaned back with his arms folded.

“Well,” You closed your search tab later, planning on continuing to research (basically stalk) them later. “I am working on a machine.” You ignored the underlying implication that you were possibly evil. You pulled up the blue prints and math for the machine and turned it around to show him.

“What does it do?” His glare intensified.

“It’s meant to be a multi-dimensional portal, of sorts.” This was the truth. “It's more of a concept than anything.” This was a lie. “I have to make this for my engineering class, we have an assignment where we make up a theoretical invention and try to come up with a way to make them real” Another truth.

“Interesting,” he became more vigilant, yet interested because of your words. “And have you figured it out?”

“No, and if I did it probably wouldn’t work,” much to your dismay. “This assignment is more about how well we can explain our logic than the actual realism of it.”

“Oh,” You couldn’t tell if he was more relieved or disappointed. “Well you must enjoy the class if you are putting this much work into it.”

“Yep ,” you said through slightly gritted teeth. You didn’t mind the class, in fact you would’ve loved it, if you were still in your original word. “I guess.” You smiled tightly, turning your laptop back around. “So what about you? Do you have a favorite class?” Your smile shifted from tight and sharp to curved and soft, this was classic. You did this when you were trying to shift the attention away from something you didn’t want to discuss. You could almost see him relax, ever so slightly, but still he’s coming around. Maybe.

“Art” his arms were still folded, but his eyes didn’t seem so analytical or hostile. While it wasn’t a lot it was better than what you had gotten out of him from most of the conversation.

“Really, would you be willing to show me some of your pieces?” you asked ever so politely.

“Why would I show you?” And there is the defensiveness.

“Because I showed you my blueprints.” your smile faltered for a moment only to return within a second, you looked back to your laptop.

“Right,” his arms were more loosely folded. “Still I don't have too.” his arms tighten back up again.

“That is true,” you nodded in agreement, “but I wouldn’t mind seeing them, but that's your choice.” You weren’t going to force him to do anything, it wasn’t your job. He was quiet. You peered over your laptop to see what was going on. He looked at you, eyes wide, arms barely folded. He looked like a cat after finding something interesting. “What?”

“Nothing.” He returned to his vigilante mood. You shrugged it off and continued to work on your draft. He continued to observe you, you continued to work. You both stayed this way for a while’ it was like you were in a mental battle with him, a really one-sided one. You didn’t really have any intention of resuming the conversation.

The silence was very welcomed. It allowed you to get your work done, you would’ve been done in 30 minutes if he didn’t show up. The silence was interrupted but the sound of a zipper opening. You didn’t look up from your laptop; slowly a sketch book came into your peripheral. You glanced at it, with a bit of hesitation you reached for it. Closing and sliding your laptop to the side, replacing it with the sketch book. you opened the cover and started going through the sketch book carefully. While had only shifted the conversation to get the heat off of you, you were nicely surprised with his talent.

The sketches in the beginning were good, in quality. They were all of different gorey situations, from a man having his head torn apart, to a woman with her skin falling off, it said something about his childhood, but that was his therapist's job to decide what this said. The theme changed after a few more pages of graphics images, which had become much less violent. There were first a few of just some plants, they were nice but not as nice as the first bug you saw, you could deduct that he had real references to base them off of. You flipped through the page, seeing pages full of multiple individual sketches, to pages of only one, fully detailed, landscapes. WIth some gore but it was far fewer than before .

You could see his improvement. They were good to begin with but they were too focused on the bigger image, they were missing something. You felt like he figured whatever he was missing, this was shown in the recurring dog, Titus, or that's what he labeled the drawing. You flipped through a few more pages, mostly animals and plants, until you saw the first human sketch that wasn’t a subject of a horrific act. You had seen the face only 20 minutes prior, it was Bruce Wayne, but he wasn’t wearing his playboy smile, he wasn’t even smiling. It was only a headshot but you could tell he wasn’t present in his mind. He was wearing a thoughtful look, a distant look.

You looked over the page more carefully now, there was still an overall theme of live studies of plants and animals, with some small landscapes, but there was new addition with people now, they were all labeled with their names, you roughly could recalled some of them from early search on his family, they were greatly detail, they all seem to show some sort of part of their personality, their real personalities. Not the public image they upheld but who they really were. You felt like you shouldn’t be looking at this, but you think he would’ve stopped you if he didnt want you seeing this. You turned more pages, he had improved a lot, he had not only found what he was missing, but more. Every drawing and sketch, you left no drawing unseen.

You stopped at one page, it was a full page dedicated to a family portrait, or a sketch of one. The portrait was the formal ones you were used to. They were casual clothes, no one was looking straight forward. No poses, no one sitting, nor was their hair combed neatly. It looked like just a family out and about. They all seemed so close, it seemed to be more of a wish than a reality but you were not close to him so maybe it was his reality. You looked over the page a final time before turning to the page. The rest of the sketchbook was architecture and landscapes with sprinkles of animals that you assumed were his pets. The talent he had was special, you would honestly tell him that he should pursue art, even if just on the side.

You slid it to Damian. “You have some real talent.” You expressed with a calm tone.

“I know.” He stated as if it was a known fact. You choked on the air in your throat trying to hold back your laughter. He held a blank expression, he wasn’t cocky, if he was he would be smiling.

“I am glad that you see it,” You look at your phone, 5 minutes before school ends, “I always get annoyed when people try to deflect praise.” You closed your laptop and put it into your bag. “I think it's a waste of time, it's just an attempt to seem humble” you secured your bag to your back, “but that’s kinda hypocritical of me to say, don't you think?” The bell rings.

“Yes it is.” he agrees, nodding his head.

“By the way, what class did you skip to talk to me?” There was no way he had study hall this period.

“Well,” he paused. He just stood there not really wanting to answer you, you chuckled. He wasn’t happy that you laughed at him.

“Alright, good to know. Anyways, have a good day.” You walk away, still chuckling. before leaving through the door, you turned back, looking at him “Feel free to show me more art if you ever choose to.” You gave him a wide grin as you span around on your heel and continued to walk away with the typical bounce in your step. You didn't see his reaction, but it didn’t matter. You were able to get away from him without him asking you anymore questions you wouldn’t have been able to answer.

The hallway was crowded, a sea of students were either trying to head home or back to their dorms. You got through it quickly as you had taken to the window method, where if you see an opening in between students, you take it. Something seemed off today, well more off than normal. You didn’t pay attention to that. You made it to the front of the school and found your driver waiting for you, you waved and smiled before getting in and heading home.

Damian wasn’t sure how to feel about this, or he couldn’t pinpoint how he felt. You were so nice but he was suspicious of you. I mean, wouldn’t you be too? You were rich enough to go to Gotham academy. Which was known for being a school for the elite, yet he couldn’t connect you to any of the elite families. You also didn’t know any other elite family, especially the Wayne's. A founding family of Gotham, and always had something going around on the news. It's like you just dropped on to the face of the earth randomly when you were 11.

He had already pulled your file from both cityhall and the school. Your school record was almost squeaky clean, only one instant of a fight that was deemed not your fault and bullying targeted towards you. Your city record only showed that you were an orphan with no listed legal guardian and that you have lived in the same penthouse for almost 7 years, near old Gotham. “No named father and mother is dead” he read his notes out loud. “What the fu-”

“Master Damian.” Alfred was standing in the doorway with a steamed suit for this weekend's gala. “Excuse the intrusion, I just came to put your formal suit away and say that Master Bruce is ready for patrol.”

“Thank you Alfred,” Damian gathered the pages, straightened them, and put everything into a file. He placed it to the side for later.

“Also,” Alfred continued to speak as he hung Damians suit in his closet. “I got a call from the school” Damian stopped and looked at him. Damian’s eyes followed Alfred as he walked towards the door. “Master bruce doesn’t know, yet, but I wouldn't recommend doing that again” Alfred warned him as he shut the door. Damian was glad Alfred would keep his secret, even if just for this once.

Damian heads down to the Batcave. He was still annoyed, he hated how easily he could let his guard falter so easily around you. You were too nice to a practical stranger. He thought, no, he knew that there was something up with you. There is no one still this decent in Gotham, not in the city where they needed a rich family to handle their criminal problem, or where there seems to be a S-level threat every couple of months. You simply could not exist in a city like this.

He passed many large frames with paintings, he never really paid attention to them, like he would be now. There were points where there were smaller frames with photos and he looked over at just the right time to see a very familiar face. He stared for a moment before continuing to walk but much faster now. After he was suited up, he met his father as he was sitting at the computer.

“Damian.” Bruce greeted him, still reading over files pulled up on the screen. Damian to a quick read over the files, it was a missing boy’s case. Probably kidnapped and being held for ransom or maybe because her parents did know something they shouldn’t.

“Father.” Damian replied. He eyed his father, he wanted to ask straight up but he knew his father would easily hide his reaction if he did so directly. So he waited for the question he typically hated disliked answering.

“How was school today?” Bruce was never the most attentive father but he tried, this was one of his few ways of trying to stay in tune with his children's lives. Damian would always say mostly the same thing ‘unchallenging’ or something along those lines. But tonight was different.

“Fine, but I met this person today,” Damian said.

“Oh really” Bruce raised an eyebrow and turned his chair around to face him, Damian has never mentioned meeting someone before. “Who are they?”

“___ ___, they are a senior.” Bruce tensed for a second at the mention of your name. That was all Damian needed to see from him. Bruce, of course, regained his composure within milliseconds.

“Hm, good to hear” Bruce almost mumbled. “I hope they are nice.” He turned back to the computer. Damian was a bit smug about getting that reaction from his father, what a long night it was going to be for Bruce.

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colorfullyminded · 5 months ago

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TLDR

Okay I cannot believe I'm about to go off like this, but this has been bothering me for awhile, and it's only making me more spiteful. I have been enjoying the influx of Billford art lately. Amazing, great wonderful. What I have Not been enjoying, is the absolute vitriol the Billdip fans have been getting since the influx of TBOB. I was a billdip shipper for awhile. Hell I was a billdip shipper when I was a Parapines shipper-- I liked shipping Dipper with boys. I was also like 14 or 15 at the time. Obviously, if you follow me now, you'll probably notice what my main ship for Dipper is. I grew out of Billdip, and moved on to Pinescone. I have been shipping Pinescone for 10 years. However, not once did I go around saying "Lol, glad I matured and became a better person and shipped something healthier", nor did I post in the billdip tag, condeming people for a fictional ship! And saying mine was better because it was less problematic.

"I'm really glad people stopped shipping Bill and Dipper together. Bill is a 1000 year old triangle demon, and Dipper is 13--" Stop. Repeat what you just said.

"Bill is 1000 year old triangle--"

Repeat that last word to me. "....triangle?" TRIANGLE! I'm sorry what?! This ship is already completely wild enough. You're getting mad at this fictional age gap-- AND BILL IS A FUCKING SHAPE! A FUCKING SHAPE! This ship was weird from the moment GO! And Billford isn't any better. IT'S STILL A SHIP WITH A FUCKING SHAPE! And you're going to sit on your high horse and look down on the Billdip community. On top of it-- they have an age gap too! Bill is still thousands of years old or whatever-- however long it's been, who knows? And Ford was in his 20s or so when he met Bill. That's still a huge, ridiculous age gap-- that Bill could easily use and manipulate; which he did....and then also caught feelings and became a sad ex, but that's beside the point~ Both of these ships are still insane. And again, the bigger thing I think people are just ignoring about these ships--is that Bill is a TRIANGLE! THREE LINES CONNECTED TOGETHER! And this is the hill you're going to die on? ...Cause apparently it's mine. First of all-- as many people pointed out-- Ford Pines did not exist until the second half of the final season. People couldn't ship Fordbill because there wasn't any Ford to introduce.

"Well, even before Ford, I never shipped Billdip! I always disliked it." ...Okay, that's totally fine. Not everyone needs to like or agree on the same ship. Lord knows there's probably people who don't really care for Pinescone either. There's a lot of popular ships that I can't stand. But I'm don't go into a ship tag I don't like, screaming to a void for self validation. I don't go around mocking other people for ships that they had in 2014-- or even still today! It doesn't matter! I did that when I was a kid-- and then realized that was rude, and it was better to just ignore the ships I didn't like and enjoy the ones that made me happy. And grow a community of kind, like minded friends. And listen, I am all for safe spaces and being able to block things that make you uncomfortable. I am not saying people who find the BillDip ship uncomfortable to be idiots or babies or overly sensitive-- or anything like that. I think if something makes you uncomfortable, that is okay and I think it's perfectly fine to blacklist a tag that you don't want to see. I also think it's imperative that people tag things as accurately as they can so people looking at your work can know if one of your pieces has a thing that they don't like-- and therefore can avoid. What I don't appreciate is the fanhate for this ship that is sprouting up like weeds. You can not like something, you can be disgusted by it (I have my Gravity Falls ships I can not stand, nor do I feel comfortable with), but attacking real people for a FICTIONAL SHIP-- two characters who are drawings on a piece of paper and can not be affected mentally, physically or emotionally by fanwork; who still retain the same shape after everything we put them through-- to the point that you send death threats, or threaten to Doxx, or just harass relentlessly, I have always found that more childish and disgusting. You are causing real world pain to people. Me fucking up Dipper Pines is not going to do anything to him-- because he doesn't actually exist. He's a cartoon character. I could squash him and stretch him in Wonka's taffy machine--- I could throw him mock speed at a wall and watch him explode on impact-- but he still exists. He's not dead; I can pick him up and dust him off, and If I wanted-- I could decide that eh, 'Not a scratch on him'. And I'd be right. Because he is a cartoon character, and I am just a fangirl. I can not change anything about him-- I have no ability to make anything I headcanon canon. And even if I was the original artist-- it doesn't change the fact that Dipper would still be nothing more than a creation. A construct of shapes; he can not be hurt or traumatized in a way that leads to real life consequences-- because he is not real. I am not a cartoon character. My friends are not cartoon characters. Artist and Writers who stay in their lane...are not cartoon characters. If you hurt us...it will linger. It will leave a scar. If you can not tell the difference between Fiction and Reality, then I think maybe media might be too much to handle-- and I think you need to really reevaluate yourself.

And just to vent some other things that i keep seeing that are frustrating: You can't claim the twins are only 13-- and then on August 31st go "Happy 20-something Birthday Mabel and Dipper!" And then proceed to drop a picture of them as adults. Well which is it? Do they age or not? Because Gravity Falls showed them canonically aging. If you think the twins age-- then you can't suddenly turn around and go, 'no you can't ship them-- Dipper is a child!' but you drew him as an adult. So sorry, it looks like you can't draw the twins grown up anymore. You claimed they're 13, so better draw them 13 forever--. Aged up stories and works exist for a reason, especially for a fan who grew up on the series. The characters might have grown up alongside them. It's not unlikely for a person to ship Billdip when Dipper is much older.

And on that note, for people who are like 'well older billdip is fine-- it's just people shipping him during the show that deserve to die.' Okay... and like I said, this rant is coming from a recent influx of Billford shippers spitting on Billdip shippers. You know? The TOXIC Old Man Yaoi!

You're still shipping something that is problematic. You are still shipping something twisted and wrong. And I am not judging you. I am here for this divorced arc. I am thriving. But you can't just pick and choose what is and isn't okay. And let me first off explain; if there is something that personally triggers you about a toxic ship, and you want to avoid that-- again, perfectly understandable. Perfectly reasonable. You are the makers of your content space. And I am not judging anyone for that. I want people to be safe. I want people to have a good time in fandom spaces. I want people to not have to deal with the things that upset them or frighten them, or disgust them. But you can not say one is fine, and one is not. They're both bad! They're both toxic. In real life, these ships would both be charged with serious crimes! And yes, there are some crimes that are worse than others, and if you asked me what I thought was more problematic-- I'd say Billdip-- but both of these ships are extreme, and severe in their problematic content. You are still consuming problematic content. If it's a personal thing, that's fine; avoid it. But don't sit there throwing stones from your glass house.

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ironunderstands · 20 days ago

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I don’t think we talk enough about how tragic of a character March 7th is

I think her rather cheerful demeanor has unconsciously shifted people away from realizing just how well, sad her situation is. She was found in a chunk of mysterious ice floating way out in the vacuum of space with no explanation for how or why she was out there. March had no possessions, no memories, not even a damn NAME to know herself by, to the point where she decided to refer to herself using the date she was found: March 7th.

And yeah, she’s begun to forge an identity for herself following her rescue, but just imagine not knowing who you are, you who were, and having the literal universe itself (or more accurately, the memokeepers) going “No no, you can’t know about your past, it’s that bad!” which only leaves you with more questions than answers.

How can she not lie awake at night thinking of who she might have been? Was her past tragic? Evil? Delightful? Meaningless? Who did she leave behind? What did she leave behind? How bad was it to the point where March shouldn’t know about it for her own good? These are all horrifying questions she must be asking herself, and yet March has quite literally been denied all of their answers. At least the Trailblazer and Dan Heng have the comfort of knowing who they were in their pasts, even if those people were not the best, because then at least they can process it.

However, March has nothing TO process, just a whole lot of questions and not a single answer, and it must be terrifying not knowing who you are, and I don’t just mean on a spiritual level. What if March gets sick from some mundane thing which the crew never could have predicted because her biology simply doesn’t match any recorded species? What if she unlocks a new power and/or accidentally becomes a danger to herself and others, with simply no way to predict that? March has so many weaknesses and strengths she doesn’t know about simply because she doesn’t know anything at all about herself.

Like yeah the six-phased ice is fun and pretty looking, but if you think about it for more than a second, it gets kinda creepy. A substance unmatched in the universe that March can just produce at will? What is it? Where does it come from? How does it work? How can SHE control it? Why can she control it? How come it doesn’t exist elsewhere? Why was she encased in it? Did March freeze herself, because to me that’s what it looks like, or maybe her long exposure to the ice gave her some sort of control over it? Who knows? I don’t, and March certainly doesn’t.

As for the day she does find out, will she be disappointed? Will we as an audience be disappointed? Are the 26 something backstories she came up with for herself better or more interesting than the actual truth? Is it better for HSR to never tell us, to have this gaping mystery stuck in the game that they refuse to solve, knowing that whatever they fill that void with will never be enough to satiate its viewers? Keeping HSR’s theme of accepting one’s past and moving forward despite everything, would it be better to simply not explain who March was?

We learned who Dan Heng was, the TB will learn who they were, so what about March? What if they truly never answer that question? I doubt it will happen, but I think it would be so much more interesting if her past was really kept a mystery. That no matter who March was in her past life, she can be happy in this one and become the person she wants to in spite of that. She made her own name, made her own family, made her own identity and skills and friends and personality, and no matter how different she was before being frozen in the ice, March has who she is now and that’s what she’ll stick with, because it belongs to her more than that nebulous past ever did.

All that to say, hoyoverse, please do not drop the ball on March 7th, although I have long since lost faith in you not to do so

#hsr #March 7th #march 7th hsr #march 7th honkai star rail #shes one of the characters I adore but like #I am working on a fic centered around her though so I’ll update you on that #I read a few too many Spidey in Gotham fics and went “great”#“what if this was March instead”#Also if you follow me yk how much I adore crossovers #Twas only a matter of time #They are like crack to me #If you ever want to capture me just wave a “X character from media I like sent to universe of other media I like” fic in front of me #I’ll be a goner as soon as you read out that sentence 😭

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calware · 4 months ago

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what r some of ur fav Hal fics? Currently looking 2 read some and would love some recs!

sure thing!!

fics that are specifically about hal:

Reallocated by breezefulskies mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 324,756 words - 65 chapters (unfinished) Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there. Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.

hal is mysteriously sent to earth via unknown means and finds himself raising a baby as best as he can, which, given that he's glasses, is not easy. this is my favorite homestuck fic, not just because it's about hal, but also because i love the focus on family dynamics and the plot as it unfolds. begging everyone to read this, i can't say what happens exactly without spoiling things, it's just really really good. at the moment, it updates once a month

Ersatz Abyss by katreal mature - no archive warnings apply - 120,092 words - 39 chapters (unfinished) You look into the mirror to find your own face looking back at you. You laugh. And then you cry. Last, you try and figure out how you got to this moment. The Auto-Responder had long since resigned himself to an artificial existence, his only dwindling hope for escape hinging on a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Then one day he wakes up, Dirk nowhere to be found. What's the point in getting what you want, if you can't show off a little?

another great hal fic. i managed to get my roommate (who has not read homestuck) to read this and they really enjoyed it, so i'm sure you all won't have any problems liking this one either. there are a lot of fics out there of hal getting a body, but this one is very different in that it's not the happy ending that you might first think it is. this fic perfects the feeling of everything snowballing into a bigger and bigger problem until it all falls apart

fics that have hal in them:

Bound in Ink and Iron by cyphertext (@4lph4kidz) teen - no archive warnings apply - 18,627 words - 3 chapters (unfinished) A prisoner in his own kingdom, the Prince of Derse seeks his freedom through the inadvisable use of a magic mirror. While making his escape he finds himself lost and in the company of a strange boy who lives alone in the ruins of his grandmother’s cottage. Both cursed, both hunted, they agree to travel together in the hopes that they can find some way to save their loved ones from their terrible fates. Or so the story goes.

hal is in this one for one chapter. but so far there are only three chapters... which means he's there for a whole third of the fic ^_^ but for real, i really like the way zero portrays him here. i am a supporter of evil shadow clone rights

Tennessee Whiskey & You by mistlafey teen - graphic depictions of violence, major character death - 12,217 words - 5 chapters (unfinished) When Dirk dies after an aneyursm, Hal and Jake have difficulties coping. Jake drinks to forget, and eventually Hal can't handle drunk Jake and his own grief - so he turns that into anger. “I’m not him, Jake! I can’t fucking- I can’t fix you. Dirk is gone and you don’t get to pretend he isn’t anymore. I can’t be Dirk, and every time you try to tell me I am it fucking hurts. There’s nothing left for you here. If Dirk was the only person that filled a void in you, there is nothing left to make you whole.”

i honestly have no idea how this is going to go but the bar scene in this one lives in my head rent-free. idk if it's ever going to update again though. hal fans forever forced to take what we can get

Falling for the First Time by nobrandhero teen - no warnings apply - 63,818 words - 11/17 chapters The game is over, Alpha Earth resets to 2009, and Dirk's bro doesn't live up to expectations. The movie director who appears so chill and stoic in interviews is actually a talkative, needy dweeb like his teenage counterpart. It's not a bad thing, as far as Dirk's concerned.

for whatever reason, i'm a sucker for fics where the characters somehow end up on earth again post-game, and out of all the fics that follow that concept this one is my favorite. hal is also there sometimes

#ask #juiceboxxjamie

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viktor-leagueoflegends · 20 days ago

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I adore this account, I have notifications for when you post, Riot literally took league Viktor to the back of the farm AND SHOT HIM and brought out a new puppy and said it was an improvement. And said it was canon (fr). What my ass isn't getting it how the fuck is Arcane canon if Ambessa and Heimerdinger ARE DEAD. from what I saw, THEY'RE DEAD??? SO AM I MISSING SOMETHING OR WHAT? Or is it some bullshit where the ingame versions are before they died, which I think is big bullshit. And if they're making Arcane canon they should make the Arcane skins free BUT THEY WONT BECAUSE THEY LIKE MONEY. Where are the other piltover/ Zaun champs? They don't have another season to show them so?? Anyway, I love league Viktor. I love him so much fr!!! And I was introduced to the greater league lore by watching Arcane and prefer league Viktor!! Hexcore story so bullshit. <3 THE VOID? CRAZY WHY WOULD THEY INCLUDE THAT IN LIKE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A VERY INTERCONNECTED STORY WITH PILTOVER AND ZAUN. I'm rambling I took like 4 shots, LOVE BLOG LOVE YOU UR SO COOL!!!! Fav blog rn <3<3

First of all I'm so sorry this took a billion morbillion years to answer, idk even what to say about that it was just My Bad.

Anyhow, it really is just such a dogshit decision to have Arcane be canon, all the way down. It's more work for Riot that they clearly don't have the resources to commit to, it doesn't contribute to a healthy lore-state, it pisses off existing fans, and Arcane fans won't even care because they already have Arcane itself! Like why would an Arcane fan give a shit about navigating to the league game lore to read Viktor's new bio, which is just a shitty summary of what happens in Arcane, when they can just, y'know, watch Arcane? And yeah it throws some major wrenches in the works, not just wrt Ambessa and Heimer like you mentioned, but also, Viktor as Herald of the Arcane is only actually Herald of the Arcane for like, an afternoon. Lol. Plus Cait isn't sheriff, etc. So I supposed they're going with this 0 timeline game-state where any character may be pulled from any point in their timeline which! Is fine, I Guess. But they really did Not have to do all that. and stupid to change it to given that (afaik) the current lore was mostly timeline-stable save for like. viego. who is Alive but in cryo or whatever

Probably the thing I think is the most bullshit is the way they claim this lore merger + the VGU's to bring featured champions to arcane canon was The Plan All Along -- which, no the fuck it wasn't? I forget where but some rioter said some shit about how Cait's ASU when Arcane s1 dropped was meant to do this and -- no it wasn't? no the fuck it wasn't? she wasn't even purple. she's not even a sheriff. Her ASU is clearly meant to honour her in-game state and you can't cite her as a reason for why Viktor gets the great Honour of being deleted.

Anyhow. Glad you're here, it makes me really happy to see people enjoy league viktor :] That's really all I wanted to achieve with this archive, so thank you!

#mod post #reply #anon #arcane mentioned

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stringsbasement · 5 months ago

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Thoughts on Irep?

i find him to be pretty cool!! i actually wrote up a response for this question before i was even aware he made an appearance in the latest episode, and surprisingly got a few things right. so i'll paraphrase some of that original text:

"a new wish has been consistently bringing back older characters and concepts to re-introducing them in a way that expands and strengthens the existing lore. it isn't a question of whether irep would appear, but in what manner. because of how peri is, unless they make an insane twist that would negate all the fluff the cosma-fairywinkle family has had up until this point, (which i doubt,) irep would still be an antagonist. so they'd have to introduce him as a real threat, along with a new rule"

and they did

my first thought was that irep is hideous and i LOVE him for that. i truly do. i couldn't stop laughing. 10/10. what even is that haircut. someone get him a barber from fairy world

my second thought was that having him be an anti-fairy godparent to dev is fantastic. i already enjoy dev's character and his constant conflicts with everyone around him, because i believe it's only accurate, you know? for someone who has been neglected and led on for so long, the only thing he wants is for someone to consistently be there for him, and yet, there's always something that gets in the way. there's always a but when it comes to loving him

so he fills the void with material possessions and glory that he knows deep down he doesn't need or want

this show is threatening to break the characters' core beliefs than actual, physical dangers. in the original show, the threats have mainly been death, physical injury, or otherwise world-ending catastrophes. most of hazel and dev's problems are "small-scale" compared to those. the plot instead hinges on their relationship and internal character conflicts. a new wish is about family relations and trust. dev's lack of it is glaringly obvious, and it shows in his erratic behavior

i think the reason why dev hates peri is actually because he's his fairy godparent. there's a very clear-cut sense of obligation to grant his wishes. to him, peri is just another helper robot. another person to lie to his face and give him conditional love. another source of money. he already has an abundance of that, and now he has an abundance of magic too! and then dev finds out that some wishes can't be granted at all. it's like the universe is against him. i really can't blame the kid for wanting another "solution"

so we have this fundamentally good but misguided character who is offered that solution in the form of a demon. if that's what gets him his happiness, he'll do whatever it takes, since taking is all he's ever known

what i particularly enjoy is dev's willingness to do these bad deeds. because the thing is, dev's first wish was something he thought up himself. and irep never gave suggestions. it's not so much that irep has a magical influence over him that makes him do bad things, but that dev is naturally making bad decisions because he thinks it's what'll fix all his problems. that means it'll also be up to him to realize the weight of his actions and the awfulness of his father. then again, he didn't blame his father for his actions in the ep "operation: birthday takeback,' but hazel. he also doesn't think to hold himself accountable for any of the events that occurred in "lost in fairy world," even though it was his fault too. so i don't expect him to realize it right away, or in a sensible manner. it would be funny if dev tries to summon irep through ritual, or barges into anti-fairyworld demanding him. i'm thinking that we'll get a friday the 13th episode, but we can only speculate so much with what we have

the episode does bring up some other cool things to think about:

"it's irep now thanks to your irritating son's name change!" now this line really caught my eye, because it puts into question the free will of anti fairies. in irep's first appearance as foop, he already found his name "unfortunate," merely accepting it instead of, you know, changing his name to something that separates him from poof. they're trapped in their realm and they have to abide by the rules set in place by the fairies, unable to so much as fight back without using legal technicalities because their jorgen is too weak to help. this is already an unbalanced dynamic. and then in the episode "terrors twosome," it's shown that anti-fairies are quite literally tied to their counterparts, and not just branching off of each other in a "what if" scenario. they're a separate kind of entity meant to compliment fairies, but not so much the other way around

i say this because the second fairies stopped having babies, anti-fairies did too. i don't think we get to see or have anyone comment about how it went down, so anti-cosmo might've been as much of a handful as cosmo was, but if they're meant to be opposites, wouldn't anti-cosmo be an easy baby? independent from the get-go like irep was? then it wouldn't be that they chose to stop having babies, but that they couldn't. not without their counterpart having them first

but even if this was all true, they genuinely seem to enjoy creating the chaos that they do. their intentions are always just as cartoonishly bad as we think it is

if irep wanted chaos, he could just try causing it on his own, but then jorgen would be involved if ever the wishes get too big and out of hand. could having a godchild be another loophole? "a child must always get what they want" is a legitimate rule that was able to override the other rules set, and allowed hazel to have cosmo and wanda as her godparents even if they failed the trials

if an anti-fairy had a godchild, they'll be free to cause a moderate amount of chaos whenever they want as long as it was to the whims of the child. also, it's clear irep still has issues with validation and being compared to peri, since he tears up and goes "that's all i ever wanted to hear," when dev calls him better than peri. it's funny to see irep still clings on to their rivalry when it looks like peri could care less about it anymore

buuutttt i like to think that irep genuinely wants a godchild. there's a deleted scene from the episode "oddlympics" (found it on page 5 of this script) where anti-cosmo cries over not having a godchild, which we know that fairies use to fill the "void" of not being able to have children. irep mostly takes after his father, and even from the little time we've seen with him on the same screen as his parents, it's clear that anti-wanda loves him as well. and, for all his attempts to make himself look evil and irredeemable, he was jealous of peri, who was famous and had the love and adoration of the masses for existing. he wants that for himself, too. it's why he wanted peri gone in the first place

(that info combined with peri and irep's mutual hate for theatre means that fairies and anti-fairies may still share some similarities not reliant on their innate link to each other)

so, imo, it's not a stretch to think that irep wants a kid to love and who will love him in turn, albeit in a sorta corrupt way. it would be an interesting twist too!!

all-in-all, i'm excited for what the show will have in store for peri, irep, and dev. i expect a silly episode where peri and irep go head-to-head with granting dev's wishes, and i'm hoping for an ep that shows irep and his anti-parents

that's all,

#string rants

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wayfayrr · 7 months ago

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Ok, so someone came up with this cute headcannon lol

https://www.tumblr.com/crazylittlejester/751872276831649792/ok-so-i-saw-your-headcannon-about-the-chain-and

And I thought, alright, so he just learned all these languages. Obviously English isn’t one of them, so does he even understand us? I be yelling at him for falling off a cliff, but does he understand?? Or is it like a dog where they don’t know r language but by tone of voice I’m obviously not happy w him. Or also maybe after time he picks up on certain words. Either way still reminds me of a dog lol.

So when I mentioned if I ever take a phone call in front of him, how will he react? Not to what I’m doing but my speaking? Will he also not understand that and just be absolutely confused, or if he understands will he be “on my side” in the conversation even tho he couldn’t hear the other side? Like him I’m talking w my best friend and we’re talking about something stupid but hilarious, would he think it’s funny too? Or if I’m annoyed at the person on the phone and I’m in the mood of “I really don’t wanna talk to u, can u shut up??” Would he be glaring and thinking “if I could get rid of this person for u I would.”?😂

🐰

(it's very funny seeing people have wild as a British accent because a friend once told me that my voice was their hc for wild and I in fact am British and get told I have a 'posh' voice lmfao)

I think that they understand english because hylian isn't the language the games are in yk? they're alive game characters so even if the lore declares that they speak other languages what's actually used for the players is what's seen - English and the other programmed languages are what's used

this is more prominent with botw/totk because there are actually voicelines in the game but for the others too our spoken language is what appears in the text boxes <3

if hyrule was a separate entity and not this shallow empty dead code void in the self aware au I think the multiple language thing would happen - but hyrule doesn't technically exist in the ones where the links get out of the game (different case where reader goes to hyrule ofc but even then hyrule isn't real real, think that lamp looks weird unreal yk?)

only link (and any other sentient characters) are real in this scenario, the second the console is off it's like they're thrown into the void (like pomni at the end of the pilot sdfsv)

I think he'd be insanely curious about what's being said on the other side tbh, he's on your side if there's an argument or anything emotional but other than that he really just wants to know how it works more than anything - it's pure curiosity on his end

#he's a curious fellow!#silly boy #tears is a softie at heart ong #moss✦answers #self aware au #self aware loz #link x reader #linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #linked universe #yandere link #botw link x reader #totk link x reader

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howlsofbloodhounds · 2 months ago

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Anyway here is my aimless, ‘analysis’ on Color and why he lives, why he may seem focused on Killer, but also why that’s just his character to be outwardly focused on others and rarely allowing any bits of his internal self to slip through, likely because he just doesn’t genuinely think of himself outside of anything involving the six human souls and their needs, and doesn’t really expect others to be much interested in him either. He views himself as easily forgettable and replaceable, even as it’s the things he fears and dreads most.

I’m typing as I think so I’ll probably clean it up later if yall don’t understand.

But he also fears failure. Failing to save people, failing to protect them. Saving Killer is something he’d do for anyone, but it also provides a sense of closure for him.

And stuff on my end copy pasted from Discord,

“Also Random kinda unrelated thought but like. maybe like killer, color doesn’t really know what he’s doing with his life either.

I wonder if he expected to die when he absorbed the souls, and then he never expected to get or be free. I wonder how listless he was before meeting killer. was he only living for others.

People say colors character is only about killer but that’s only because 1. Some refuse to look into his AU. And 2. Color didn’t exactly have much of anyone else??

For all intents and purposes his home isn’t his home. He knows them but they don’t know him and he has no reason to live in canon actual animated othertale (where he doesn’t know killer or the epic sanses) besides once again ensuring that they’re all safe from this new threat when we meet him.

(Edited:) It’s even implied he’s only still alive after his last escape attempt, however long ago (since it’s implied that Color has been with Gaster in the Void for like 17-20 years at least), because of Gaster. Either he was trying to kill himself, or he was willing to risk dying.

but once that was gone, what was he going to do. they still don’t know him, anything about him, and he doesn’t know them. They’re so different from how he remembers.

He has no one. They’re alive but they’re not. He’s risked everything for them and he was happy to die doing do so but he didn’t. What’s he supposed to do with himself now. There’s no place for him in the world, and the world doesn’t even seem to want or need him anymore.”

It’s worth noting that Othertale only exists as it does, instead of being normal Undertale, precisely because Sans/Color was kicked out, patched over, forgotten, erased, replaced by Undyne and then it all moved on without him.

So even in my hc that Color leaves Othertale, takes Core Frisk’s offer to join the Omega Timeline, and became Delta’s roommate; he was still at his lowest point, and didn’t even reach anything resembling a high point until meeting Killer.

He can see Killer, but no one else seems to. He wants to help, and he wants to understand. No one else is gonna pursue this, help Killer—those who have tried have failed. He reasons for helping killer are born from moral principles, past experiences, the belief that no one else would (for valid reasons), and even those who don’t even think Killer needs, wants to be, or deserves to be saved.

Similar to Vi from Arcane, who was thrown into prison for her developmental teenage years, coming out not realizing everything has changed, that her sister has changed, and unwilling to accept that powder has grown up and has a new name.

But unlike Vi, who attempts to make everything go back to the way it was, color just..avoids it. Leaves, away from it, goes looking for something new.

His need for something new comes from having spent years in what amounts to basically solitary confinement, where everything was the same over and over, until eventually even the suicide escape attempts and breakdowns became more of the same.

So while Color makes Killer feel wanted, needed, safe, cared for, loved, validated, protected—Killer makes Color feel seen, heard, remembered, important, needed, fascinating, valued. Seen and valued. They make eachother feel understood.

I think similar to Vi, Color is a caretaker, a protector, of individuals and communities he happens to stray into on his wandering trips—he’s terrified of failure, but also craves acknowledgement for what hes always tried his best to do.

If he’s not looking for something new, not wanting to stay in the same place forever, he’s trying to use his life and freedom to give the six kids keeping him alive a second chance at living—he’s not obligated to anyone, unlike Dream is (being a guardian of positivity), he’s just some ridiculously powerful guy. An afterthought in his own story, because it wasn’t his story, but a major part in Killer’s.

He doesn’t help others only because he wants acknowledgement, but also because it’s just what he thinks is right, but having his efforts acknowledged cements that he’s still real, still existing. That he hasn’t been forgotten. And I just think Killer is particularly skilled at making him feel appreciated, and valued.

He’d do it this for everyone in Killer’s place, who asked him for help. He’d help them to the best of his ability, and he wouldn’t ask for or expect anything.

But Killer gives it to him, knowing he’d never ask for it — because he can see Color, and that he likes being seen, and is maybe even suprised that Killer would see him the way he does. And Killer likes seeing Color—would like to see everything about Color. Not just his souls or his code.

Killer makes Color feel like he isn’t just a step outside the rest of world, or like he isn’t a ghost— or more like, killer stepped outside the world with him and joined him there. Color’s eye doesn’t look through Killer, and Killer’s gaze doesn’t drift right over Color.

This is not accounting for the HC that Color and Delta are roommates, of course, which would change some things—mainly in that Delta would’ve seen Color at all his lowest points and would’ve been the one taking care of Color—and a lot of how Color takes care of Killer may even be somewhat inspired by his relationship with Delta, but again that’s hc and im mainly focusing on the bits we have in canon.

I’ll probably expand on this part in a bit, but I think it’d be the Epic Sanses (and maybe even the Abyss Team) that teach Color to live for himself and what he wants—and he goes on to use that to help Killer.

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oro-kapi · 16 days ago

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after god observations

so I've read After God 6 months ago but recently in October it just absolutely out of nowhere FULLY seized my hyperfixation to a level so intense I'm genuinely so startled. I haven't felt this normal about a piece of media in YEARS holy moly.

the English fandom is so miniscule so hella I was SO happy to find there's an After God tumblr corner. anyway first post, hello anyone who stumbles across these ramblings... warning this gets kinda rambly but it's just me being gushy about the series.

abt me I don't actually frequent tumblr that much, I'm kinda new in terms of experience, although I just have some social anxiety over talking about things I like publicly so I hope this sideblog gives me a little bit of strength talking to the void. I need a place where I can go INSANE over this series anyway WAHOO!! maybe will also post fanart in the future also, maybe!

there seems to be a much larger fanbase in Japan (mangaplus/urasunday where the original Japanese is posted gets hundreds of comments as opposed to English's official publisher on comikey. albeit I don't think comikey's the best at making it accessible either). Mangaplus/urasunday do post the latest 1-2 After God chapters for free on the website btw for folks who like to read ahead. Unfortunately anything before the latest 2 chapters is region-locked to the app and I don't really want to bother trying to figure out how to get it but that's what I'm mostly aware of.

I've seen some mixed reviews in the English side, though there's only a handful really out there, but most times I feel people are missing the point!!!! AHHHHHH!!!

when I first read the series 6 months ago, I didn't think of it that much except it shared some similar ideas to my own existing original work I thought would be cool to draw some inspiration off of. I'm honestly not really sure what happened in october, but I think it started because I gave it a second reread. And SO MUCH suddenly clicked. I didn't skim the dialogue as much and began to reexamine scenes and panels with the foresight of the later chapter events. And I fell absolutely in love. preordered and got the first volume in english on release date yippee!!

the first volume or chapters 1-8 is admittedly pretty much an exposition dump, but I think that rough start is kinda to be expected for most series trying to get a reader hooked into a new world. chapters 9-20 are really where things start kicking. It leads you to think Kamikura Waka is shounen-type protagonist like one chosen hero vs the big threat, but then breaks down into a more raw, mature look at the complicated lives of normal people who're just trying to survive, find their own happiness, and fight threats they only somewhat comprehend.

are IPOs really that different from humans? But not in the sense "humans are worse and gods are better" or "humans are better and gods are worse", but in the sense that "we're all equally messy in the same way, just trying to exist because that's all we know what we want to do."

I feel it's a story that needs to be read with the attempt to understand the characters as people with layers of contradiction and their relationships with one another. That's where so much of the meat and the weight of After God comes from for me, and many of these "this was disappointing" reviews don't really seem to even notice that part at all or tend to be confused why the characters act the way they do.

/// spoilers ahead!! talking about some of my observations and thoughts

I can't really remember where it was if there was a more explicitly stated spot that Ahu'az takes the form of what people see as most beautiful (at this point I'm wondering if I'm hallucinating this up oh god). Closest thing with the implication this is the case is in Chapter 34 when Yako/Furuya asks "what form did the God Ahu'az take for you?"

if this is the case though and it changes from person to person's perspective... then oh all the more tragic when Shion went to see Ahu'az and saw Waka/Alu'la as her most beautiful person.... DOOMED YURI, FUCK

obikawa saying "wow it's cooler here than I expected" back in chapter 9 really gets a new perspective when you apply the later reveal how IPOs are basically born

silly thing to wonder about, did the florescent banana tee Obikawa gave Tokinaga somehow become the saving grace that stopped him from getting eaten lol?

he is such a loser (affectionate) though like TOKINAGA YOU'RE LITERALLY 10 STEPS AWAY FROM YOUR HOUSE YOU CAN GET CHANGED!!

Tokinaga talks about being afraid of bathtubs chapter 17, and then on a reread I noticed he is standing in front of a bathtub in chapter 3. what kind of hell happened to you my guy omfg

I know that damn Default CSP Rubble Asset when I see it!!!!

pattern recognition throws me out of the loop a lot I work on comics in CSP as well and now I don't read webcomics the same way anymore oops. right off here I think it's pretty safe to determine After God was drawn in CSP; assets can't really be converted to other programs.

more CSP assets I recognized:

this hatching brush for the outline of Tokinaga here is ベタ線新 from this set

Nayuu's tree branches are from this set

and I'm pretty sure the water here is from this blood set, which might appear elsewhere a few times (i see these shapes in my dreams. this blood set haunts me so bad)

to be clear this isn't a critique or "using assets is bad" at all. normal readers are not going to notice these things. (in which i'm not normal i study Eno's art so intensely because i admire it so much). when making comics or other repetitively drawn works, artists will take shortcuts and should absolutely take shortcuts. it's just neat to share what tools were used for those curious!

off topic on the topic of csp if anyone would like the link, she's shared the brush she made for drawing Vollof here too!

I can't freaking imagine how it feels to have your beloved friend melt away on your lap between your fingers like that unholy

if you squint much, you can make out both Yoriko and Tokinaga overlaid in the speech bubble, though I'm not sure what the next one really says

but ahfjhfgifgh!!! the book being animal anatomy is such a stab in the leg cherry on top

(and it's probably an art error but tokinaga's pinky is back/weirdly has a solid shape there instead of it being flabby glove. wani asks how did tokinaga get there before he and yoriko so silly weird theory its tokinaga from a different time iterative loop? wonky. probably still an art error though)

so how did Alu'la get "reincarnated" within a human? How does an IPO get reincarnated at all? We've seen orokapi needed to eat a human to become a specific human. Alu'la definitely didn't eat a human.

We hear from Orokapi he drank seawater mixed with sewage and gained the intelligence that way. Closest I could think of are the microbiota that make up an IPO and their abilities. Maybe Waka's parents or Waka drank shit water of the sort and got the microbiota inside her that way or idfk

Thanks Tokinaga for the "uses chopsticks to eat everything" rep 🔥🔥

i'll leave you on that this is getting too long AHHAAHAJF thanks for reading, hope you got something cool out of this post! :]

#after god #after god spoilers #rambles #theories #technically a review of the series i guess? not officially but they are my thoughts #after god was drawn in csp btw anyone else recognize more assets #the queercoding is so freaking intense in this series #its making me think about how i want to love too #they might not be inherently romantic but they're absolutely not straight!!!

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herefortheships · 2 months ago

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My fears and things I do NOT want to see in BJ3:

These are some elements and ideas I do not want to see in BJ3. Some ideas in here I simply want to disappear entirely from the ether of possibility 😅.

Here's the link to my previous post, about the things I DO want to get in BJ3.

Let's see here:

I'll start with Charles Deetz. I do NOT want to be subjected to the gurgling, sputtering noises he makes when he talks with no head again 😅, plus his character's story is super over now. So... Let's keep him off my screen. He took the Soul Train. Bye... Delia could have told him it was okay to leave before her; we only need to see Delia in BJ3.

Astrid still hating Lydia. They can still have friction, but Astrid being all moody teenager again maybe would get tiresome. (It'd be cool if there's a time skip and Astrid is a little older now. I've mentioned before how I think starting BJ3 with a time skip would be beneficial to set up endgame Beetlebabes.)

One of the biggest things I do NOT want at ALL is Lydia getting rid of Betelgeuse forever... Or getting him out of her life or something like that. She can start the movie seeking to do just that (and I think that'd be a very realistic way to start the film, with Lydia trying to find a way to get him out of her life for good), but then her character can and should evolve to want the contrary through the film.

Lydia marrying some random new character at the end. Literally nightmare material right there. And "ew" factor that'd make me hate the movie lol. She could start the film with some random new character as a love interest, but... that guy better be gone by the end. Actually, it'd be interesting if she did have a rando love interest at some point and rejected him, realizing she doesn't want him, because he is everything Betelgeuse is not. ;)

Betelgeuse sacrificing himself for Lydia, ending up permanently gone or dead-dead, resulting in Lydia marrying some random new character at the end and that being a "happy ending". (Nooo get away from here with that energy 😭).

Lydia's happy ending being getting rid of Betelgeuse and marrying a rando new character. Triple ew. Can you tell I really hate any version of this idea?

Astrid hating Betelgeuse. lol She can start the film hating him, and then evolve to love and accept him as her stepfather and her mom's new love.

While we're at it, Betelgeuse hating Astrid. He could start the film frustrated with her or whatever, but he better adore his new stepdaughter by the end. Or else. 😤 Tbh I think he already loves her just because she's Lydia's child, but she did point out the contract being null and void. Will he have some resentment or sadness? We'll have to see. I think Beej is easy going though; he may not give a shit and still adore her anyway lol.

Betelgeuse returning with Delores or having another random new love interest. EW no no no no. Please take that energy away from me and hide this evil thought bubble from Tim Burton's head. *Burns a bundle of white sage to purify the air around this one*.

Betelgeuse giving up on Lydia and letting her go so she can go "be happy" with some random new love interest... NO no no no... Please nope.

Lydia being endgame with Richard in the afterlife. This would be so random, considering Lydia said their relationship was over way before his accident, so I don't know why this one even crossed my mind, but it did because maybe I'm a little paranoid with my ships, I guess. lol

And finally, my BIGGEST FEAR right here: Betelgeuse being revealed as a true trickster demon that never cared about Lydia at all 😨. Like, Betelgeuse having just played Lydia to get his way in the end. I would probably ignore Tim Burton exists if they go that route, which lucky for us all will NEVER ever happen. Tim clearly loves Beetlejuice and Lydia, not just as individual characters, but also as a couple (just listen to him talking about them in this clip, about choosing the McArthur Park song; you can feel his fondness for these characters in his voice), and so does Michael and Winona; they would never allow a script with that outcome.

Oh! Added after I thought I was finished with this post... This nightmarish idea 😨😨: Betelgeuse having had a son in the past and his descendant(s) being a part of the plot. AAHH! Get that hellish thought away from meeee. Why was I haunted by this one out of nowhere?! Get that horrible thought away from me (sorry to anyone who thinks this one is cool. This is the stuff of NIGHTMARES to me 💀. Like, franchise-ruining stuff right here, tbh).

So this is it! You can read my previous post here. Hopefully these are just irrational fears. lol Some of these I can forgive (like Charles being in the movie, and maybe even Lydia having a different love interest for part of the movie, as long as it's not the endgame). But there are some of these that would honestly ruin the movie for me (like Betelgeuse having a son in the past, or Betelgeuse being truly evil and having never truly cared about Lydia, or Lydia's happy ending being getting rid of Betelgeuse forever. Those three are just my worst fears, tbh. Also wouldn't forgive Betelgeuse ending up with Delores, but that one is a pretty ridiculous idea, tbh).

*Grabs that bundle of white sage again for good measure. May none of these happen.*

#Beetlejuice #Beetlejuice 3 fears #do not want #Beetlejuice x Lydia #Beetlebabes #Betelgeuse x Lydia

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spaceorphan18 · 7 months ago

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The Rogue and Gambit Project: A New Beginning (X-Men #1-3)

The true beginning of Rogue and Gambit's story really comes with the new and somewhat iconic era of X-Men. X-Men: The Animated Series drew its inspiration from the relaunch designs, and for someone who grew up with this era, it feels nostalgic as well as historic. Rogue looks and sounds like the character I grew up with. Gambit being crucial to the line up and no longer an afterthought feels pivotal. I feel like we've finally arrived.

And while I know this era isn't void of problems -- believe me, I know... I kind of enjoy this early Rogue and Gambit dynamic. It's fun and flirty and has a little bit of an edge to it. And the angst. So. Much. Delicious. Angst.

The funny part is... there really isn't a whole lot of it in these first few issues. Things don't really heat up until issue #4. Not only that, I'm gonna have to bring up Rogneto again... I'm so sorry, guys. Blame Chris Claremont.

Alright, let's dig in...

X-Men #1

Rogue in her now iconic new uniform -- this is going to be a standard for quite awhile. Get ready to see this pose a lot - Jim Lee, and artists after him, really like to do the whole one leg up, one fist out thing. Anyway, despite the fact that I (shockingly) don't like that much yellow on her - she's so pretty. I've always loved this era's hair.

Anyway, you want plot details you say?? This is Chris Claremont's last hurrah on his initial, epic 17 year run with the X-Men. And of course you can expect two things -- space shenanigans and coming full circle with Magneto as the villain. The crux of it is about Magneto possibly being a threat, despite the fact that he wants to be left alone, and of course, the X-Men get sucked into the drama.

X-Men #1

Gambit's redesign - which uses his initial costuming but man does he look so much better. He looks 'cool' in the way that all the X-Men look cool in this era. The dude can pull off the color fuchsia. That isn't easy to do. I do like, however, in color theory that the pinks and purples of Gambit goes well with the greens of Rogue's coloring. But more to the point - Gambit is pretty now, which is what we're all really here for. ;)

Anyway - because this is a relaunch, after our initial Magneto based prologue, we get a (re-)introduction to the entire team in one of my absolute favorite sequences of X-Men comics. The teams will eventually be divided into two groups; the Blue Team -- Cyclops, Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Wolverine, Psylocke, and Jubilee and the Gold Team -- Storm, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Forge, and Colossus, but for now, they're one happy family doing a classic danger room sequence as designed by Charles Xavier.

X-Men #1

The whole sequence is really pretty awesome, but it leads to one of my favorite comic book moments -- where Gambit just goes for it and kisses Jean. It's a fake, robot Jean, but it's a bold move. And leads to Cyclops wanting to drop a truck on him. It's such a classic moment and I love it.

X-Men #1

Our first Rogue and Gambit panel happens right after Wolverine wins the whole training sequence (because of course he does). (Also - Claremont can't quite resist and we get a final 'bang, you dead' moment.) Meanwhile, Rogue and Gambit still haven't spoken to each other - but at least they know the other one exists. Progress, right?

X-Men #1

I really need to take a moment and appreciate the fact that most of the time during this era, when Gambit isn't in his uniform, he's running around half naked.

X-Men #1

Ug, alright, let's talk about Magneto again. This whole arc is about Magneto kind of having an existential crisis (which, you know, happens when they need to reset you to villain again). And, unfortunately, we'll get a few of these moments scattered throughout these issues of Rogue trying to talk sense and reason into him due to their 'spark' in the Savage Land. I get that someone should be a reasonable voice -- especially when the rest of the X-Men are attacking the guy before any kind of provocation. But I'm still rolling my eyes that it's Rogue. Notice he calls her 'child' during this? He'll do that throughout. Eesh.

Magneto claims that he has no beef with them and offers them all safe haven on his floating asteroid base -- Asteroid M. And guess who doesn't join him? That's right - Rogue at least has enough sense to stick with the family she knows and cares about over a possible, not really fling. Btw - I hadn't mentioned it back when I was talking about the Savage Land, but there was nothing to suggest Magneto can actually touch her. (I think that might be an Age of Apocalypse thing?)

Also, in case you think any of this sounds familiar - pretty sure X-Men '97 drew heavily from this arc for their Season 1.

X-Men #1

The first time either of them mentions the other one, and it's Gambit being sassy about whether or not Rogue should be a considered a lady. I kind of love it, actually. And love that Beast is like -- oooh, you're playing with fire on that one.

X-Men #2

They're getting more on panel togetherness! Granted it's group shots and they're taking down Magneto, but I'm taking all the scraps!

X-Men #2

Alright, well as much as I'm not a fan of the Rogue/Magneto dynamic, I'm still going to be fair and talk about it. Because it is part of Rogue's development. The key thing here though is that Rogue isn't going to compromise her values and beliefs because she may feel something for Magneto. And this will continue to ring through always through the comics. Of course, how nice of Magneto to swat her away like an annoying fly. Romance for the ages, guys.

X-Men #2

More on panel time! They're really going for all the group shots these days - probably to milk sales. But I mean, Rogue and Gambit look good just standing next to each other, so who am I to complain?

So, back to the plot... Magneto is getting pissy because the world governments are seeing him as a threat. He kidnaps Moira MacTaggart and berates her and blames her for all of his issues (because, you know, she messed with his genetics after he was de-aged, in an attempt to make him /not/ a villain). It was... a whole thing don't worry about it.

Anyway, he has Moira (somehow) brainwash the Blue Team into joining Magneto's side. Because they can't otherwise be convinced. Which, oh my gosh - what's with all the brainwashing lately?? Of course, this means it's Gold Team to the rescue...

X-Men #3

I'm going to try to document every time they're on the same cover. Also, it isn't X-Men unless there's at least an X vs X brawl every other month.

X-Men #3

Another group shot with Magneto in between them?? What can this mean??? Actually, nothing, I think it's just a coincidence. But - I really like the art here.

But.. you guys! YOU GUYS! We get our first real Romy moment in this issue! Granted - they're still brainwashed! But it's another first! Here we go...

X-Men #3

So, they're all hanging out on Asteroid M, taking it easy because - apparently that's what you do when you're a brainwashed Magneto fan. I love that Cyclops is still in his full uniform while Gambit has managed to strip down to his undies. I'm sure we can all tell who is the real fun one of the group.

You know what I like about this exchange, though? Gambit was casually complementing her diving skills and Rogue is the one who decides to get flirty about it. Of course, Gambit's going to push it further - see how far she wants to really go, and that'll cause her to run -- a dynamic that we're going to see a ton of as we go through all of this early stuff.

But for all that Gambit's going to push - it's not completely unwarranted or completely out of nowhere. Yeah, he gets flirty with the ladies on principal. Yeah, he went for kissing (fake robot) Jean unprompted because he thought he could. I won't defend some of the ickier aspects of these comics.

But... I'm fascinated by the idea of - what if she could touch? Would it still be a game to him? Would she have let it continue? Would they just have had a little fling right off the bat? Are her powers what really pushes them to have a deeper relationship than what they might have had? Just all the thoughts I'm throwing out there.

I also like that, that little moment of humor, where she knocks him into the pool, is so genuine it shakes her out of her mind control.

I also like that Gambit's genuine concern for her stops his playfulness.

It's such a tease of some great stuff coming up, and I am here for it.

X-Men #3

And that's really all we get guys. The Gold Team shows up to save the day but not before some X-Men fighting amongst each other. Magneto monologues for a while. Charles tries to get him to see reason. The people of Earth try to nuke Asteroid M and everyone gets outta there while Magneto decides to go down with the proverbial ship.

X-Men #3

This is in the closing moments of the issue - and I'm putting it here because it is Rogue talking about Magneto again -- but kind of seeing reason and how their ideologies do not work. She's trying to get Xavier to see this, and it's funny that Xavier is having a very hard time trying to let his old 'friend' go. Rogue, however, is fine. Maybe there had been a small, romantic spark of being caught up in close quarters in a shared moment. But that was all it was.

There is more to a longer lasting romance than fleeting moments due to circumstances. ;)

The X-Men take off leaving Magneto and his real followers to their fates. Of course... we know that it's never the real end of Magneto. Asteroid M may blow up, but he'll be fine.

However, I'll take a moment say that it's a poetic ending. Chris Claremont closes it out with a sort of goodbye. His tenure on X-Men is now complete, and we've fully stepped into a bright, new era!

X-Men #4 is gonna bring it. Let's do it! ;)

#xmen #x men #rogue #gambit #anna marie lebeau #remy lebeau #rogue and gambit #romy #the rg project #marvel meta #marvel #marvel comics

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