#“what if this was March instead”

[ironunderstands]

I don’t think we talk enough about how tragic of a character March 7th is

I think her rather cheerful demeanor has unconsciously shifted people away from realizing just how well, sad her situation is. She was found in a chunk of mysterious ice floating way out in the vacuum of space with no explanation for how or why she was out there. March had no possessions, no memories, not even a damn NAME to know herself by, to the point where she decided to refer to herself using the date she was found: March 7th.

And yeah, she’s begun to forge an identity for herself following her rescue, but just imagine not knowing who you are, you who were, and having the literal universe itself (or more accurately, the memokeepers) going “No no, you can’t know about your past, it’s that bad!” which only leaves you with more questions than answers.

How can she not lie awake at night thinking of who she might have been? Was her past tragic? Evil? Delightful? Meaningless? Who did she leave behind? What did she leave behind? How bad was it to the point where March shouldn’t know about it for her own good? These are all horrifying questions she must be asking herself, and yet March has quite literally been denied all of their answers. At least the Trailblazer and Dan Heng have the comfort of knowing who they were in their pasts, even if those people were not the best, because then at least they can process it.

However, March has nothing TO process, just a whole lot of questions and not a single answer, and it must be terrifying not knowing who you are, and I don’t just mean on a spiritual level. What if March gets sick from some mundane thing which the crew never could have predicted because her biology simply doesn’t match any recorded species? What if she unlocks a new power and/or accidentally becomes a danger to herself and others, with simply no way to predict that? March has so many weaknesses and strengths she doesn’t know about simply because she doesn’t know anything at all about herself.

Like yeah the six-phased ice is fun and pretty looking, but if you think about it for more than a second, it gets kinda creepy. A substance unmatched in the universe that March can just produce at will? What is it? Where does it come from? How does it work? How can SHE control it? Why can she control it? How come it doesn’t exist elsewhere? Why was she encased in it? Did March freeze herself, because to me that’s what it looks like, or maybe her long exposure to the ice gave her some sort of control over it? Who knows? I don’t, and March certainly doesn’t.

As for the day she does find out, will she be disappointed? Will we as an audience be disappointed? Are the 26 something backstories she came up with for herself better or more interesting than the actual truth? Is it better for HSR to never tell us, to have this gaping mystery stuck in the game that they refuse to solve, knowing that whatever they fill that void with will never be enough to satiate its viewers? Keeping HSR’s theme of accepting one’s past and moving forward despite everything, would it be better to simply not explain who March was?

We learned who Dan Heng was, the TB will learn who they were, so what about March? What if they truly never answer that question? I doubt it will happen, but I think it would be so much more interesting if her past was really kept a mystery. That no matter who March was in her past life, she can be happy in this one and become the person she wants to in spite of that. She made her own name, made her own family, made her own identity and skills and friends and personality, and no matter how different she was before being frozen in the ice, March has who she is now and that’s what she’ll stick with, because it belongs to her more than that nebulous past ever did.

All that to say, hoyoverse, please do not drop the ball on March 7th, although I have long since lost faith in you not to do so

[brianskangs]

Band Aid, which literally is a combination of "band" and "aid" meaning help, shows us where they're aiming for - after the return of the group with their last album. This is a pledge to comfort the band that sings youth, and a declaration to be around the listeners in a more energetic way to match the identity of a band. In the name of the band, they would heal. Be the Band-Aid to stroke the wound.

BAND AID (DAY6) Released September 2, 2024

[benoits-neckerchieves]

No you don’t understand this is the first new Daniel pic in 3 months god I’ve missed you

[ragsy]

anyway i swept the leaves out of my garage and built a shelf and those two actions were enough to leave me too tired to do anything about the fact that now there are two shelves in my room that only has room for one of them

[lunarharp]

figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..

[panszy]

i applied to do a masters months ago and the only thing they have sent me is an acknowledgement that the process will take longer than usual, which, now that it is mid-july and getting in requires me moving cities and finding another job by the end of september, is starting to get increasingly annoying to the point where i'm now pretty angry about it. i can't make any plans at all until i know, i can't really apply for jobs in my own city until i know, i'm going to have to start looking for places and jobs in this new city before i even know what kind of jobs i want and places i can afford or if i'm even going to be moving at all. absolute fucking joke honestly

[vampiricsheep]

Alright. Okay. It's the topic of the night so I guess I'll Say My Piece and be done with it.

I stopped going to Tyria pride years ago because the sheer amount of tasteless things people would say, unchallenged, in map chat and I was uncomfortable but not interested in starting shit. Every time I have gone, I leave early because that same discomfort creeps in.

A non-comprehensive list of the things people have said multiple times that either piss me off or are just irritating to read ad nauseum:

jokes were the punchline is that lesbians hate dick / gay men are repulsed by vulvas

extremely explicit sexual jokes

jokes about caudecus stalking logan

"Praise Joko!"

I've complained about these experiences to friends in private conversations, but I don't try to start shit with unnamed jester #12 in the chat.

Which is why I find it absolutely bonkers that people decided to mock and harass someone for saying something they, personally, may have found tasteless but entirely within the realm of the game's fiction.

"No cops at pride" doesn't apply to npc cosplays / the seraph faction because those aren't real people that have hurt people in real life. You can write an essay on your blog analyzing the game's narratives and themes all you want, but harassing a stranger over it is...I don't know how to say this kindly. It feels like people are leaping at the opportunity to use a real-world phrase out of its real-world context to harass a stranger they were annoyed by.

[nervocat]

HELLO???? YOU CAN'T JUST DROP A SUNDAY-SUNNY AND ROBIN-MARI IDEA AND LEAVE IT AT THAT???????? i need to see a hsr omori au right now omg

wonweek called Sunday “Sunny” and immediately had to say smth my bad

[loud-whistling-yes]

This is going to sound like the world's most brain-rotted thought but passerine by the oh hellos is martlet coded and canary in a coal mine by the crane wives is clover coded

[oceanamethyst]

galacta knight getting stabbed like julius caesar

[why-the-heck-not]

But aside from the absolute trainwreck that’s my bachelor’s thesis currently, the C++ course is starting tmrw and I’m kinda excited!! C++ is one of those that’s been on my ”to learn”-list for like 2-3 years now so I’m very happy to finally start (tho I did teach myself the very basics like a year ago, but haven’t used it since and have forgotten basically everything)

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

connection between "the poets are just kids who didn't make it" -> "I went to sleep a poet and I woke up a fraud" -> "I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead"

also a branch off there that ties Hand of God with TMOTM but that's actually a lyric comp I'm planning to make soon more than an actual note

[keylovesstuff]

I give you guys this :)

AO3

FFN

Little Events Chapter 4: Proposals

"So when are we going to get married?" Bowser asked her five minutes into silence after everyone left the meeting room.

Water mixed with spit flew an impressive fifteen inches across the table hitting him directly in his face. The Koopa King blew the little water from his nostrils while the rest dripped down his face. It took a good ten seconds for Peach to finally catch her breath and another five to compose herself while repositioning her crown upon her head. 

"Excuse me, but one you never proposed, two I never said yes, and three are there not specific courting customs you have to follow?" Peach asked while listing off each statement one gloved finger at a time.

"Fine." Bowser huffed standing and making his way over to her seat. Peach turned her body to face him once he was in front of her. Taking her hand in his giant one bending down on one knee. "Peaches, from the moment we first met, I knew you were the one that I wanted to spend my entire life beside. You're already such an amazing leader and together we would be the best rulers in the world. With that accept my hand in marriage." He finished giving her his best dreamy eyes.

Peach was certain she was blushing out of embarrassment as she quickly pulled away and straightened up the papers on the table.

"I wasn't being serious and what kind of proposal was that? It wasn't even romantic." She pouted gathering up today's materials and started towards her office. The Koopa King followed behind.

"We both have a different view of what a 'romantic' proposal entails." Bowser grumbled under his breath looking at all the free space along the walls. "I've been saying you should add more portraits or at least some mirrors. How's a guy supposed to admire their own handsomeness or their leader when I'm here?" He commented for the umpteenth time.

Other than a slight chuckle, Peach carried on towards her office. Another thing both Bowser and her Advisor Toadsworth shared similar opinions on. It wasn't so much as she didn't think she was pretty- far from it actually but, that doesn't mean she wants a portrait or her own reflection 'staring' as she went about her day. Lone stone statues and having his entire face sculpted into his castle may work for him but not for her. The thought of having to sit perfectly still for almost eight hours dissuaded her from wanting any portraits done. While the glass stained portrait displayed outside was nice, she did not miss that numb feeling in her butt just for them to get the perfect reference. Peach was thinking that if any pictures were to go on the walls, landscapes of the world's natural beauty would be nice.

Peach supposed that once she starts traveling to other kingdoms she'd find some lovely sights that she'd want to look at again even if she could only visit once. She entered her office to place the papers on the desk to look over at a later time while Bowser waited outside.

"I got some other things to attend to so I'm going to be leaving here in a bit. Is there anything else in that pile I need to sign or something" Bowser asked from outside the room. 

Peach hummed and quickly skimmed through the paperwork she just placed down and hummed softly.

"No you're all good. Thanks for fitting this meeting into your schedule. I know you hate how early they are." She told him, while closing the door "I'll accompany you to the pipe if you'd like" she offered and he just nodded. 

"Least you can do after you rejected my proposal earlier." Bowser finally said after they walked in silence for a few minutes. 

Peach continued but was at a loss of words. Was he really that hurt by her rejection? Was he really that serious with his proposal? Maybe that was the most 'romantic' he could be and her expectations were either too high or unrealistic given that the most she knows about romance comes from books. Bowser was from the darklands and similar to her, didn't have anyone to look to on how being in love looked. She has her doubts that Kamek had little time for a personal life of his own with being at his lord's beck and call, much less giving him advice about it. Toadsworth himself never went into much about his romantic life only going as far as to say at one point he was involved with some ambassador in training but they broke up mutually.

To her memory Toadsworth never actually pursued anyone else in their community either. When Peach was young she did question him every now and then about wanting a partner, only for him to brush it off and sweetly tell her that he'd wish to put all his energy into raising her. Younger Peach enjoyed hearing those words then but now she wished he took time to focus on himself outside of her but, he doesn't seem all that bothered she guessed. The princess had to stifle a chuckle once she realized she hadn't responded to Bowser's comment.  Even after knowing him for all these years, Peach still viewed him as her very much self-absorbed friend that would occasionally offer some good advice when it comes to being in power. While she didn't take all his advice to heart, she couldn't argue with the fact that it worked for him when she visited his Kingdom. That didn't mean she could see herself being by his side for the rest of her life.

They made it to the pipe before she finally found something to say.

"So um, exactly when and how did you know that you loved me to the point that you were thinking about marrying me?" Peach turned red again in embarrassment after structuring the question in the best way. Bowser stared at her silent for what seemed like the longest two minutes. She found an interesting spot on the ground and was about to tell him to forget about it till he finally spoke up.

"Guess I just see you as a worthy leader to be with considering how far this place has come in just half a year into you taking power. Already better than other kingdoms that've been operating for years. That and I can never have too much territory and this place is huge and of course having you as my Queen would grant me access to that. What are you thinking about saying yes?" He finished with a wiggle of his bushy eyebrows.

Peach gave a sigh of relief inwardly. There was no sort of love confession in what he had said which would make what she had to say next a little more easier. 

"Not exactly. I feel like I still have so much to do as a leader on my own. I really do appreciate all you've done to help me get this far but, I think I want to see more of what other places have to offer before I even think about marriage I guess" she finished with a bow.

"Hmm on your own...I see" Bowser regarded her words with claws on his chin. 

The way he repeated her own words sent a sort of strange feeling down her spine but Peach shook it off. Maybe due to nerves of having to admit that out loud and not having a clue on where to start to make it happen. Again the silence lingered on for far longer than she was comfortable with as he stepped onto the pipe.

"No choice but to sit back and see what you do Princess Peach," Bowser finally concluded. "When you feel like you're in that position make sure to consider what I've said. I do trust you'll make the right decision as it's much better to have me as an ally than an enemy" he added, smiling proudly to himself as he saw her gulp.

"Of course Lord Bowser. Please take care and I look forward to our next visit, where you'll hopefully start accompanying me to other kingdoms?" Peach reminded him of his promise to hopefully end this conversation on a positive note.

"Sure. I'll write or come visit you when I can so we can set up some days. I'm pretty sure that old man and that excuse you call a council would insist on being in attendance" mouth frowned in disdain when he mentioned her people. She chose not to acknowledge it.

"I'll look forward to it," Peach said, waving him off as he disappeared down the pipe. 

As she was heading back to the castle to carry out the rest of her appointments and for the remainder of the day, Bowser's words and the idea of marriage played throughout her mind. For the first time since her coronation, she was thinking about all the other responsibilities that came with being a leader.

The sun had already set for the day and Peach found herself in her office chair reviewing notes written by both herself and council along with documents from  today. She could feel her eyelids getting heavy and brain turning into mush as she tried to process the words enough to know where to properly sort them in the drawers behind her. A long yawn filled the otherwise silent room and in that moment she looked up at the clock and it was about a half an hour till 12am. The first obligation scheduled for the day was set for seven. With a groan she contemplated on just leaving everything sprawled out on the desk and just calling it a night. A small laugh found its way out of her mouth as she could practically hear Toadsworth saying that he taught her to make sure all her areas were left spotless when she leaves. Gathering up the last little bit of her energy, Peach willed herself into finally sorting the papers and the thoughts from earlier bought her Advisor outside of her door with a knock.

At her words of 'come in' the door opened and in walked Toadsworth dressed in  lavender striped nightshirt,  matching night hat atop his cap, and white slippers instead of his usual attire with his signature bowtie. 

"Time management needs to get better my dear Princess. This is the fifth time this month I've found you in here at an unruly hour" He tsked and set to work organizing the writing materials on the desk and then her papers. 

Peach watched as with just a five to ten second glance he knew the correct place to file it for later, Truly earning his place as being her most trusted advisor. He's always been there to listen to her concerns and give her good advice whenever she found herself too much in her head.

"I guess I was just a little distracted by something today and it's taking me a while to get this stuff done" she told him, moving to help with the other stuff.

"Oh? Perhaps you'd like to discuss? It may help to ease your mind." He offered before gasping suddenly at the sight the untouched tray of food. "Before we get to that you need to eat your dinner" confirming his suspicions he lifted up the lid. 

With a quick promise of returning he grabbed the tray and left the office. Peach finished sorting the remaining papers. By the time she placed the last piece away, Toadsworth returned with the now warmed meal. She was a few bites into her grilled cheep fish sandwich before the toad seated across urged her to share what was on her mind.

"What do you think about the idea of me getting married to someone someday?" she asked him finding the right way to phrase it. 

Immediately Toadsworth eyes glanced to both her hands for an extravagant ring on her finger. He put his hand over his chest to ease slow down his heartbeat when he realized she hadn't rushed into a commitment like that without talking to him first.

"Well of course I want you to find someone that you're so infatuated with to want to spend the rest of your life with." He told her and took a sip of tea he bought up earlier. "As a matter of fact...I should probably apologize for not allowing you to interact with people more like you despite them being a pipe away" he added, setting the cup down and looking at nothing on her desk.

To an extent she understood where he was coming from but, on the other hand she couldn't remember a time growing up where she wanted to be around other humans. Then again from the time she turned nine after a normal school day she was immediately thrusted into formal leadership teachings so where did she have time to really think about it. In conclusion, Peach thought that she couldn't quite miss or be bitter about something she never had an association with in the first place.

"There's no need to apologize about that Toadsworth" she started and reached out for his hand. Toadsworth grabbed it, giving it a squeeze. "I don't think it matters how a person looks so much as their personality and how they are when it comes to ruling." Peach finished with a smile.

"If you say so my dear" Toadsworth patted her hand with his other hand and returned her smile with his own best. 

Hearing that made him feel a bit better but, he'd be lying to himself if he didn't think he could've done better as her guardian. Sure Peach has turned out to be an amazing young lady and while she still had a lot more growing to do, he was proud at just how good of a leader she is now. Toadsworth did wonder just how much if any of her mental has been affected by not being around humans and wasn't sure if he was ready to face it should the time come.

"You must be in love if you're asking questions about marriage. Am I right?" He asked to get them back to the topic at hand. Now thinking and hoping that it's not about the Koopa King after what she said earlier. Saying she fell for one of the toad guards would've been better if he was honest.

"Not exactly" she started not acknowledging the look of relief on his face. 'What was he thinking she was going to say?' It was probably better she didn't know so she just carried on. "I was looking up other reasons that people, well mostly royalty get married and it's not always about love" she shared this most recent discovery with him but if she thought about it he probably already knew that fact.

"I guess I understand that. What pushed you to look into all that Princess" he urged her to continue. Peach gathered her thoughts for some moments and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Well why I don't think I like Bowser in that way, his influence as an ally has proven to be good. Mmm I guess if there's a permanent engagement in place  especially when it comes to the safety of everyone. If that's taken care of well then I guess I could learn to love him or anyone for that matter later" Peach told him and then felt unconfident about it seconds later "I'm sorry does that make any sense? I fear it doesn't." She said turning away to focus on the wall.

"I see where you might have come to that conclusion. I do want to assure you that as you will never have to make a decision like that alone and if you feel you need to I would hope you address that with the council or me first." He told her sternly and only continued when she gave him a nod. "Furthermore, as the people who have cared for you from the time you were little, your happiness means the most to us and while other kingdoms have their own rules set in place, here you will marry who you love ok." Again she nodded to show that she was still listening to him. "Finally if it's the peoples safety that really pushes you to go forward with something like that, then we'll give us time to show you that we can adapt and find ways to be strong ourselves." He finished but felt it necessary to add the next point. "We trust you so you have to trust us."

While Toadsworth wanted to follow that up with he'd be fine with her marrying anyone that wasn't Bowser, he didn't want to sound like an immediate hypocrite should she genuinely fall for him in the future. Though he'd have to see a serious change in that reptile to even consider him someone worthy of respect other than having the obvious title.

Peach could feel a burning sting prick the corners of her eyes while processing his words. In some part of her mind she knew that but it hit so much harder hearing come out of his mouth. It probably was because it came from Toadsworth but she also knew everyone would also say the same thing. With that she gathered the strength to get up from her seat, walk around the desk, and wrap her arms around his neck. Only feeling him return with the same gesture did she speak.

"Thank you Toadsworth" she said as a happy tear streaked down her cheek.

_______

Three weeks later Peach found herself in the throne room and felt another headache coming along as one of the Toad gave the same report since the first day. Part of her alliance with Bowser included sending some of his minions to do border control once dark rolls around, while other Toads patrolled during the day. There hasn't exactly been anything seen to warrant having such a thing in place but it was better to be safe than sorry.  However as of late, Koopa Troops and Goombas haven't been showing up to their posts to alleviate them leaving the toads to pull all-nighters to ensure the safety of the citizens. After the third night, Peach ordered them to return home to rest and just return by the time night falls since that's more important. The Princess has written several letters to the Koopa King about this but hasn't heard anything back yet. She even checked her document from the last meeting with him to make sure everything was still the same and sure enough his signature was there at the end of the paper.

Rubbing the temples of her head she told the reporter Toad to once again tell the others along the borders to return home to rest and return to their post by the time the moon enters the sky. Before he left to do exactly that, the toad left her with one more thing to know about. Power-ups only exclusive to the darklands she found really helped toads with certain tasks and vice versa when it came to the mushroom kingdom. Well the toads who normally handle all the imports and exports hadn't heard from the Koopa's King's people and their scheduled date was closing in. Peach assured him that she'll take care of everything with a smile as he took his exit.  She concluded that if she couldn't get a hold of Bowser via letters, she'd just have to pay him a visit in person to see what was going on. If the darklands was dealing with problems of its own, she'd hate to selfishly make it about her own Kingdom's needs and would provide support if she could.

All she gathered from her visit was that 1. The Darklands was doing just fine as the inhabitants went about their daily happy lives, at least by the kingdom's standards. 2. All the guards that normally took the border work at night were also in good shape. That didn't mean they were these past weeks she had to tell herself but also had some doubts.  Finally 3. Bowser was doing just fine and reading her letters as well. Rather he really was there or not, Peach wasn't gonna keep bombarding Kamek with questions. The magikoopa did tell her that it was under Bowser's direct order that the citizens weren't allowed to leave the darklands under any circumstance until he said otherwise. At least she got an answer for their lack of attendance the past three weeks. She just told him to tell the Koopa King to get back at her when he could, to which the wizard assured her he'd pass the message. 

Another three weeks went by and she still hadn't heard from Bowser in any form be it letters or in person. What she was expecting to see on her daily strolls through the town was her people barely managing to get through the day. Instead what she saw was the toads going on as normal, chatting about the usual topics, and smiling. The toads on border control took it amongst themselves to get back on a similar schedule where some would take the daytime and others would take the night, switching it up every now and then. Even though she saw it with her own eyes her mind just couldn't accept that everything was just fine. One day after everything was taken care of she found herself in Toadsworth office silently sitting there as the advisor did some calculations. It was silent for just a few more minutes before she finally decided to speak.

"Am I being tricked by everyone?" She asked him. Earning a questioning look from the mustached Toad. "It's just that everyone seems okay but are they really okay? Or are they just acting like they are when I come around?" She tried to get him to see what she was getting at. He was still very much confused.

"I don't believe your people would try to deceive you in that way Princess. More or less how would they be able to hide their suffering from you with a snap of the finger." Toadsworth said, trying to get her to logically think about the first question.

"Well I have developed a routine of visiting the town. Perhaps they've caught on to it and spend those hours in good spirits when I come around?" Peach reasoned with him and even she could admit to herself that that didn't make any sense.

"Or perhaps everyone really is just doing good. My dear we've always had a knack for finding ways to manage things on our own together. So even if we don't have what we're used to, guarantee we've found a way to do it ourselves." He finished that last part with a chuckle though that didn't reach Peach.

"If you say so. I'm going to pay another visit and see how it goes. Maybe I'll get somewhere this time." Peach told him,  getting up and heading towards the door.

"Of course Princess. Be sure to return at a decent time. I'll be waiting" Toadsworth promised her, returning to his calculations. 

Who was he to stop her or be the one to say her visits would be futile. Part of being a leader meant she had to face some things head on and see people's true colors. Even after all these years.

This visit was already off to a better start than the last as she caught Bowser returning to the castle. The King insisted that he wasn't in the mood for a visit but she explained that it wouldn't take long. Much to his annoyance he agreed and she waited alone in his throne room for a good ten minutes till he came in and sat down. No more than five seconds of silence Bowser snapped.

"Well...you said this would be quick...start talking" he snarled. A brief smirk of satisfaction crossed his face when Peach flinched in place and she stuttered a few words.

"Well to start I just wanted to know if our alliance still holds any weight? As of lately I haven't seen you hold your end and I've been wondering if somethings wrong." Peach told him once she remembered how to form words.

"I don't know...Depends Princess. What have you learned about doing it all on your own?" Head in hand he looked down at her from his spot on the throne.

At that moment everything seemed to come together and to say she was angry was an understatement. She was outright furious to find out the reason for him acting like this for the past two months was because of a small thing she said. It took everything she had in that moment not to blow up on him. Instead she took a deep breath and told herself that to some degree she had to placate the King if she wanted to see some semblance of normalcy return to her kingdom.

"While for certain I don't want to get married anytime soon...I'll still keep you in mind as a potential suitor." She gauged his reaction to see him looking quite impressed. "I do know that having your help makes it easier on my people's lives. So at your earliest convenience could we get everything back in place. It would be appreciated." She finished with a bow of her head.

With how long it took him to finally speak up, she was starting to feel like he'd just dismiss on the spot. Peach wasn't sure what she would've done if that happened. Would she have begged on the spot or even say she'd marry him the next day. Luckily neither of those options happened.

"I hear you. Tell your people to expect my minion's to contact them and be at their place by tomorrow." He waved a hand. Peach looked up at him and smiled finally hearing what she wanted. Already picturing everything returning to normal. "One more thing I still have some things to take care of but in about two months at most I'll start taking you to other Kingdoms so be prepared" He added.

"I will. Thank you" with one more bow she turned to take her exit.

Bowser stayed true to his word and only for the first time in weeks did she feel more at peace seeing the toads resume their daily routines. To the best of her abilities, Peach tried to tune out the voice in her mind along with Toadsworth's verbal and knowing look saying 'Everyone was fine all along'. While ignoring her was mostly intentional on his part, he really did have other obligations that came with his title. He reached the age and maturity where it was time to produce an heir and there was responsibility that came with keeping the bloodline as pure as possible. That intrigued Peach if only for the mere fact that she would one day be able to see a baby Koopa. Nothing could ever compare to baby toads though in her own biased opinion but it could come close. There was also the bonus of seeing papa Bowser in which she could barely contain a giggle every time she thought about it much to his annoyance.

Within the next year she was introduced to a variety of rulers who were mostly older than them. Peach found that leaders whose kingdom's were closer to her own home, were easier to make connections with. The leaders whose kingdoms were more shrouded in darkness and mystery, gave her a more unsettling feeling if she was honest. From the domain full of Ghosts who's tragic stories she'd rather not know about to a literal bomb that would probably explode over anything, she thought it'd be best to prevent any problems before they present themselves. There was no amount of asking to convince Bowser to take her to the jungle kingdom. Something about reptiles not mixing well with apes and he also couldn't stand the crocodile king that resided there. She'd just have to visit herself one day to see just how advanced it was.

Sarasland was another kingdom she wanted to see if only for the chance to meet someone around her age. Name and reputation alone wasn't enough to get an audience. The leaders had to get together and send a personal invitation and the qualifications for that weren't so straightforward. Peach would keep her fingers crossed that she would one day receive a summon. Bowser ended up taking her to the neighboring flower kingdom and while he didn't have many good things to say about it or their people, she did. That was made possible by interacting with their Prince by the name Haru. The moment she first sputtered out how pretty she thought his cerulean hair was, sparked the first of their conversations.

While the council and surprisingly Toadsworth left to tour a separate part of the kingdom, Haru took her on a quiet walk in their castle garden. There was the back and forth that comes with meeting with someone for the first time but, Peach was really surprised with how comfortable and natural they fell into conversation. Together they sat on one of the benches as he handed her a flower and complimenting her appearance for the second time, whatever was going to happen next was interrupted by Bowser showing up finally finding where she disappeared off to. That caused an almost comical misunderstanding of Haru assuming the two were engaged and he was overstepping in some way. Until Peach explained that was far from the truth, much to the anger on Bowser's face. They all said their goodbyes and just as they were about to depart Haru stopped her with a piece of paper. Said paper contained his castle address and insignia.

The added comment of hoping to hear from her soon started the two months of communicating with each other via letters. There were many days after completing her daily tasks where she'd spent time writing just to make sure it was ready for the deliverer by morning. Two days ago he had invited her to the flower kingdom to show her how to drive a motorbike, as enthusiastically as possible through words she accepted the offer. Toadsworth and a few members of the council escorted her to the kingdom and while they carried on with the scheduled meeting, Haru took her to the location of his bike. Now she stood there in traditional toad clothing she hadn't worn in forever since her dress wasn't appropriate attire for this activity, while Haru did a final once over on the bike.

"Ready to go Princess? Feel free to climb on" He told her after getting on the vehicle himself. 

There's only one seat she rationalized with one look. Was she just supposed to sit behind him? Would it be more appropriate or safe if she just sat sideways on the bike and held on to him that way? Wait, could she just wrap her arms around him? In the midst of her asking those questions to herself, a hand was guiding her to sit down on the back behind him. Haru assured her that he didn't mind her holding onto him as a matter of fact he'd prefer it cause he has a habit of going fast. That didn't stop his ears from turning red and stiffening a little under her touch.

Before taking off he passed her a gray helmet with the promise of getting her a pink one for next time. It was her turn to blush as she slid it on to hide her cheeks at just the very comment of him wanting to do this again with her. They took off and through the face shield, Peach watched as the scenery sped by. Of course she enjoyed calm and slow walks but, there was something more freeing that came from riding. They made it to a more open area and that's when they both got off the bike and he started explaining how everything worked. The Prince told her to try it for herself and maybe it was due to beginners' luck, but she caught on pretty easily for it to be her first time. By herself she remained cool and collected but, as soon as he hopped back on and held onto her waist it was a different story.

Peach was braking the bike excessively, swaying side to side, or going too fast one moment and too slow the next. The most embarrassing thing had also happened when she suddenly popped a wheelie. She was certain Haru had lost his hand but not sure why but one moment he was right behind her and the next he was on the ground. Of course she stopped immediately turning off the bike, rushing to his side, and apologizing profusely while helping him up and checking for any injuries. After that he proposed that they take a break and just admire the clouds, it was a beautiful day afterall. They laid on the soft grass together shoulder to shoulder, the smallest distance together they've been today. They made small talk pointing out the shapes of the clouds first to other random stuff before they somehow got on to the topic of families.

"Does it ever bother you that you don't know where you're from? Or that you don't know who your parents are?" He asked her hoping it wasn't a touchy subject. She hummed thoughtfully.

"Not really. I mean I've lived with the toads for so long that I can't say for certain I'd feel any different from knowing anything if that makes sense." She truthfully answered.

Peach knew for as long as she lived, she would always regard the toads as her true family seeing as they've always been there. She couldn't imagine how different her life would be now if she had ended up somewhere else or even stayed with her original family.

"I'm just really happy where I am now in life where I've come across many people now and am just looking forward to what the future has in store" Peach finished sitting up. Haru followed the motion.

"That's a nice way to think about it. I guess we wouldn't be sitting here together now if you never ended up here." He said putting his arms on his knees. "I hope that I can be more a part of your future," he added, facing away to hide the blood rising to his cheeks.

"Hmm well you're an ally of ours now. Of course you're going to be a part of that future." Peach told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. When he snorted covering his mouth she couldn't help but think that something in what he just said went over her head. "What are you laughing about?" She pouted and it took him a minute to gather himself.

"True but, that wasn't entirely what I meant about being in your future" this time putting more emphasis on the word 'your' hoping it would come across differently this time around. Peach still had a slight look of confusion on her face. "Here um, if you would allow me..." He turned, repositioning his body to face her prompting her to do the same with her head.

As quickly as it all started it was over. One moment he had a hand on her cheek pulling her to him. Soft lips pressed against hers for several seconds. Before she had time to process returning the action, he was pulling away standing up and offering his hand. Haru apologized and told her they should probably head back as the meeting was probably done by now. Peach was speechless during the entire exchange unsure what had gotten into him. The ride back was just as quiet and slow as if he still wanted to prolong the time to the destination. He bid her farewell after taking her to the castle's meeting room, not waiting around to do the same with the others.

They went two weeks after that going about their daily routines minus writing letters. Well Peach herself didn't entirely stop writing them. After finishing them, she couldn't find the confidence to actually pass it along to the messenger. By day sixteen her drawer was almost filled to the brim of unsent papers. Toadsworth noticed the change and had asked her about it, but she convinced him that it was nothing. When deliveries came around the next day, there was a letter from Haru and just as she got her hopes up, it depleted upon seeing it was addressed to Toadsworth. Apparently Haru had matters that he could only talk to her advisor about, is all Toadsworth said.

Peach couldn't help but feel a little anger towards Haru. From kissing her, to ignoring her, and now requesting to meet with her advisor of all people, could he not talk to his own people. For once she actually envied Toadsworth's age and life experience that made people want to seek him out for advice. She had half the mind to order him to write a letter declining cause if he can't talk to her, why should he be able to talk to Toadsworth. Curiosity got the best of her though and even she said not to, Toadsworth probably wouldn't listen without a valid reason. So as planned, Haru arrived to meet with Toadsworth and had the audacity to smile and wave in her direction. Having other places to be, she said her farewells to Toadsworth and went on her way before he had a chance to lecture her about the rude behavior.

A couple hours went by and she had almost forgot he was here till she stepped outside her office to see him standing there. Part of her was happy that he decided to stick around for a while. Then she remembered why he initially visited and did an entire mood change.

"I suppose now that your business with Toadsworth is taken care of you'll be taking your leave?" Peach asked him, keeping a formal tone. 

"Well I should, but I have no other obligations and I really wanted to talk to you." He said walking up to her. "That is if you want to," he added.

"Sure I guess" she said, not bothering to fight back the smile on her own face as he gave his own. She fell in line beside him as they made their way outside the castle. 

"I want to say that while I don't apologize for kissing you, I do want to apologize for not following the procedures in order to do that in the first place." He started turning to look at her. "It's actually why I wanted to talk to Toadsworth and your council to see if I could fix things if you will." He stopped  there to allow her time to process what he was saying.

"Fix things cause you kissed me? I'm sorry but I'm a little confused." She said inviting him to elaborate.

"Well I guess what I want to do is enter a courting arrangement with you." He said finally getting to the point "I figured it'd be best if I got Toadsworth's permission and I also wanted to ensure that there weren't any other plans for you in that regard" That last part made her remember their first encounter when Bowser had shown up.

"Oh well what did he say?" She was curious now. It had been awhile since they had discussed that aspect of her life and wasn't sure if anything had changed.

"He said that he had no problems with it but, in the end the choice is up to you" he repeated her stewards words "said your happiness is what's most important...so would that be something you want to do be in with me?" and with that he stopped in place as they made it outside the town reaching his bike.

"Sounds like him" she smiled in relief before noticing how he'd become a bit fidgety as she hadn't answered the question. "Oh yes sure let's try it" Peach made a move to hold his hands in her own.

"Really? Okay then gosh, we'll then I'm going to try and see you more often if that's alright with you." Haru stammered over his own words in excitement moving in to close the distance. "Would it be alright if I kiss you now? as official partners"  He asked leaning in when she nodded yes.

"It sounds like the discussion didn't take long. I know Toadsworth can talk a lot though but still two hours? I hope I didn't keep you waiting that long outside" she said after they had pulled apart and he started to get settled on his bike.

"I want to say we talked for a good hour about the relationship thing with you. There was so much he had to say." Haru was remembering every last word from the conversation. "I wanted to come to you right away after that but, he said I should allow you to focus on work and so for the remainder of the time we spent it playing a few rounds of mahjong. In the end it was 0-5 in his favor. " He feigned annoyance at having to admit that and smiled when that got a laugh out of Peach.

"You'll get him one day I believe. If it makes you feel better, I'm 109-10 and those were pity wins because it was my birthday" she said, waving him off as he drove off.

For the next few months when either had downtime they would visit the other's kingdom. More often than not Haru, would be at the mushroom kingdom or either picking her up to take her to the flower kingdom to spend time there. They returned to writing letters to each other everyday and while it was mostly about stuff they talked about before, some of the letters took on different turns on both their parts. The content that some of the letters contained had Peach double checking the seals of letters before sending them off, doubling up the original with extra empty papers, or choosing to read them late at night in her own room. They also talked about future plans when the topic of marriage came up. Even though he hadn't asked the question yet, talking about it had her thinking it was only a matter of time. She briefly considered how all that would work being that they were from different kingdoms in all, but that could wait she concluded.

The next time Peach met up with Bowser, she updated him on everything that had happened. To say he wasn't pleased was definitely an understatement. The Koopa King went on about what Haru could possibly do for her Kingdom that he hasn't been doing for years and how she's only infatuated with him cause he's just like her. Dealing with Bowser for years, Peach knew it was best to just let him say whatever lest it lead to something bigger. It was in the middle of his tangent that Haru decided to appear having been waiting for a little longer than normal. Bowser decided at that moment it was time to leave, giving Haru the meanest glare as he walked past. Uncharacteristically Haru returned the gesture and Peach was glad Bowser's back was turned. As they were on the way to the flower kingdom Haru would ask her how she's put up with him all these years.

Peach had quickly learned not to bring either man up to the other regardless of what it was about. If it didn't have nothing to do with making sure everything remained functional in her kingdom it wasn't discussed. If it didn't have anything to do with the two of them specifically it wasn't discussed. In her excitement one day she did slip up and tell Bowser that Haru had officially proposed with a ring and everything. After the conversation it left her viewing a few of her most recent encounters and relationship as a whole a bit differently. Just as she was starting to feel a bit better about things, one night after having dinner with the King, Queen, and Haru's council left both of them in a weird mood by the time they went up to his room. Haru in particular seemed to be lost deep in his own thoughts, having not said a single word as they laid together on bed before he suddenly got up and sat down at his own desk and started writing down stuff on paper.

"So tell me again while it would be more preferable to have a boy first." Peach asked, staring up at the ceiling breaking the silence.

"It's more so about the title. See here in the flower kingdom the next in line for the crown goes to the oldest male once the current King passes. So while my dad was born after my aunt, the throne automatically went to him once my grandfather passed because of that." He explained while writing. "It was quite the conflict between everyone around that time but it's what the will stated and one of the last laws he passed. My dad's been assuming that we're going to be adapting laws from here since it's more 'set in stone' and 'proven to work' none of that making it up as it happens." Haru said only dropping his pen to do air quotes with his hands. "I'm sorry if he made you think that he or even myself would be disappointed in having a firstborn daughter. It's quite annoying since we haven't even gotten married yet and they're going on about kids now." He apologized, returning to the task at hand.

"I see. On the topic of kids I guess, how do you think I'd do as a mother? I mean I also started training a little later in life to become a princess and with this child I would have to start them earlier right" Peach asked more questions rushing to her brain than she could voice. He hummed before answering.

"Well I've seen you with both babies here and in your own Kingdom. I think you'd be a great mom. You grew up surrounded by toads so you know what it's like to be really involved so to speak. It's me you'll probably have to reign in every now and then, even up to four years ago I very rarely saw my own parents around and spent most of my days with mentors." He recounted, pen going to his cheek briefly before returning it to the paper "As far as training goes well like me we can have a few mentors if you want and you have me, I'll tell them what I experienced. We can also decide the best age to start it if that helps. But, again I just say we focus on getting through this wedding first before all that stuff" He finished.

Peach thought it'd be best to take his advice for now and worry about that topic for later and she also sensed that would be how he'd end everything else regarding the matter. She sat up covering her legs with the t-shirt and then pulling them to her chest.

"Is that why you're over there writing down some hypothetical laws of your own" Peach guessed and did a little cheer in her head when he stiffened in place.

"They're hypothetical laws for us" he corrected and faced the opposite direction in the chair. "I figured since you were thinking about things having it written down where you could see it would help and maybe for me too" he concluded and matched the frown that appeared on her face.

"How is it for us when I'm not giving any input?" She asked him.

"In a way you are by talking about your worries. I'm just adjusting and making things accordingly so you don't think about when the time comes. I was gonna show you later once it was a bit more polished." He promised.

"Would you be ok if we were to hypothetically still have an alliance in place with Bowser?" Peach asked out of the blue.

"What does he have to do with anything Princess?" He was genuinely confused at the sudden change of subject in the span of twenty minutes. She gave him a look that told him to answer the question. He groaned "If I'm honest I'm not 100% on board with it. I mean I was always taught to be wary when it comes to Koopa's. I'm willing to go along with it if that's what you want but I'm not going to be as kind as you are and allow him to do and talk as he pleases"  He told her honetime.

“I guess I understand where you're coming from but, there's a certain way you have to deal with him or he could get vindictive. " Peach advised.

"That doesn't mean anything to me, especially since I've been without his assistance for years and been ok. I would like to think that by being your husband you'd have faith that I know what's best for the people." He said feeling offended.

Peach was silent, not sure what could be said to make Haru not think that way. Making decisions alone was easy but doing it as a team seemed like it took way more work. In her own head she didn't process the bed shift under the added weight and arms wrapping around her shoulders until he spoke.

"I really do mean what I said. Look I know I haven't been there as long as Bowser and I know I'm nothing to compare to him physically but, I'd do anything I can against him for the people and you. So put some trust in me that I'll know the best choice" he begged.

Peach let the nodding of her head do the speaking instead of using her own voice not trusting it to sound sincere. Haru took it for now and hoped that one day he'd be able to prove it to her in the future. They ended up dozing off for a while before Peach woke up and asked if he could take her home. Despite the late hour, he slipped on some clothes and had her home in record time.

_____

It was three days to the wedding and aside from a few little things that could be handled on the day of, The preparations were complete. For the first time in a while she had actually finished all her work early. Not that she had much stuff with everything going on, just similar stuff for her coronation minus a speech.  Peach laid on top of covers in the dark room, engagement ring on the stand instead of her finger.  Deep down she had already admitted that she wasn't ready for this. There were just too many unknown possibilities that for some reason she could only envision poor outcomes. When she had told some of the Toads this, they had completely brushed her off saying it was just the pre-wedding jitters and once she's walking down the aisle it would fade away instantly..

At that moment she just agreed and laughed it off with them but she couldn't shake the thought that they were just telling her that because they had put so much energy into the preparations for her to change her mind. Something a couple of Toads in particular said was really sticking in her head and made her just want to suck it up and go through with it regardless of feelings. 

"If you change your mind now, you might end up regretting it later" one of them said as they were twisting her hair.

"Who knows if you'll ever find someone else that loves you the same way or even more than he does" The other one said while painting her nails.

"Oh but think of your reputation amongst the lands my dear. If you back out now any potential suitor looking your way will see you as a flake." The former one finished her hair and held a mirror up. "Do you like it?" Peach nodded.

"Don't say that! anyone would be lucky to take our Princess as their bride. Pay her no mind dear." The latter one held her hand up at a better angle "ooh I smudged it a little," she frowned and got to work fixing it.

Peach had tuned out for the remainder of the time she was there only replying with single words and nonverbal movements with her head. She grabbed the pillow and covered her face in a lousy attempt to drown out the words. The knock at the door caught her attention and like many times before she knew exactly who it was. Upon her approval, he walked Toadsworth and he stood right at the head of the bed. 

"I would assume you'd be in much higher spirits given that you're getting married soon. Yet you're in here alone and looking upset" he said his observations out loud. "Any reason for that?" He asked.

"Just because I'm laying down doesn't mean I'm upset." She told him. "I'm just a little exhausted with everything so I'm trying to catch up on sleep" she lied and turned to face the other direction. 

Even in the dark she could feel his gaze burning a hole in the back of her head.

"I'm not convinced that's the truth at all Princess. However, if you wish not to discuss what's bothering you now, know that I'll be here to listen to you later. You know where I'll be" he assured her, making his way to the door. 

The mustached toad didn't even make it five steps away from the bed before she sat in the bed reaching an arm out at him and in a panic told him to wait. Halting in his steps as he waited for her next instruction. The word came out of her mouth faster than her brain processed as she slowly lowered her arm thinking about the best way to talk about it.

"Could you just...you know what, wait a second'' Peach started but then decided to get up off the bed, turn the light on, and grab the chair from her work desk bringing it over to her bed. "Sit please" He did as he was asked and held her hand when she reached for it. "I, well, gosh I'm sorry" she choked then took a deep breath and then apologized, failing to find the right words.

"Peach, It's okay, take your time." He rubbed her hand once he got her attention at the sound of her name. "I'm not going anywhere" He promised, giving her hand a soft squeeze.

The Princess took his advice. Closing her eyes she took a few deep breaths and just focused on the feeling of Toadsworth rubbing her hand in gentle circular motions. It was a good five minutes of that as she collected her thoughts before she felt ready to speak. With one last deep breath, she started.

"I don't think I'm ready for all of this. I mean it's not that I don't love him" she said looking at the ring from the corner of her eye. "It's just... I guess I don't want him or anyone else to hate me for not putting the kingdom's best interest first you know?" She expressed it in the best way she could.

"I see your predicament my dear" Toadsworth said, taking time to process her concerns. "But, I want to remind you that when it comes to love, the kingdom should have nothing to do with it." 

"Toadsworth, the relationships I have with people regardless if it's romantic or not has everything to do with my Kingdom and even others" she tried to get him to understand. "I already hear some people say you could get away with anything and I'd turn a blind eye" she gave a better example and couldn't help the little smile as he chuckled no doubt having heard the same thing.

There was nothing he could really think to say to convince her otherwise. He had a good feeling that her relationship with one particular person was the main cause of all these worries. Toadsworth had decided a long time ago that Peach would have to figure that one out on her own since no amount of talking would get her to see right.

"Never matter, if you're feeling all these doubts, perhaps you should talk to the Prince about waiting longer or if you really feel that it's not a good idea, just call it off all together. I'm sure he'd be more than understanding" Toadsworth offered.

"Do you really think that would work out well with him?" She asked him. The second question of what if he does the same thing as Bowser did? Went unasked because she couldn't even think about grouping those two together in that way.

"I don't see why it wouldn't but you won't know if you don't have the conversation" he said, letting go of her hand and standing up in the chair and widening his arms. Peach did the same and they embraced each other. "You should probably have it sooner rather than later unless you've changed your mind" He combed his fingers through her blonde locks.

"Yeah you're right" she nodded "sorry just a little longer" she held onto him tighter.

"Of course," he whispered, doing the same.

In the end no matter how many times she rehearsed the conversation with an imaginary Haru, nothing felt right and time was running out. Peach decided it would just be easier to communicate with him the way they always did. At least she didn't have to see the look on his face telling him she couldn't go through with it. Better yet she didn't have to worry about him trying to convince her to otherwise change her mind. After sending the letter and the ring off she got a response 24 hours before the wedding was set to start.

"I understand. I'll always be here for you" 

That's all his letter said and she gave a sigh of relief that it was over. Later on that night, the feeling of relief turned into sadness that it was over. Peach once again laid awake in bed staring at the ceiling hoping her heart would heal quickly. There was no time to grieve she had a Kingdom to run and was more than happy to do it alone forever if she had too. All she needed was to know her toads were happy and safe. That's the mantra she kept telling herself to fall asleep. When that didn't work, she could only hope that things would be much easier should another person come along.

[shallowseeker]

ngl i love my girl anna but the reason cas was more compelling is that he was arcing into doubt

there is a better post somewhere but cas is confused about his loyalties, lending intense tension that fed the pre-existing themes

EDIT: all i'm saying is there is more natural tension in a person coiled/standing on the precipice than there is in the one already splayed on the ground

[b4kuch1n]

done with the current dip pen comm queue (just in time for another Nib Accident too lol. I’m learning how to take care of the tools as well) so uh! it’ll take me two days to get a replacement and get some other stuff done. which means slots will be available again this saturday!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!