#only the affects of their trauma
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I'm making pretty much the whole GMVN server answer this.. SO HELLO AUDDY WADDY
*points gun to Keith in Galra form* 🔫🔫 tell me your angsty Voltron Team headcanons or he gets sprayed. with water.
AUDDY WADDY REPORTING FOR DUTY
the angstiest voltron headcanons I have in my roster are as follows:
Keith didn't give a single shit about Lance during the garrison, he barely even acknowledged him. Keith was extremely self absorbed back then and all he cared abt was Shriro (every fic that's like "oh yea and Keith DID think Lance had potential in garrison/oh yea Keith would have defended Lance in the garrison blah blah blah" WRONG)
Shiro never returned to his true self after everything that the Galra had done to him. He became a shell of a man that the paladins had once known. He acted similar yes, but everyone, especially Keith, knew that he would never be the same and his smiles would never again hold the same warmth
Lance was Allura's rebound (not intentionally, I'm not hating on her)
Coran had a one sided pining for Alfor
Lance had a crush on Keith but it was overpowered by his jealousy and insecurity so he never acted on it
Lance never told his family that he died
Allura would have exiled Keith if he had Galran features, I don't care if they were friends, Allura was racist. To an extent I say rightfully so as they were the ones who destroyed her planet, was it 10 thousand years ago? Yes, but I was like yesterday to her and she was only 17 putting the responsibility to save the world on her shoulders, she would have tried harder to ostracize Keith at the very least
Keith wears shoes to bed
the paladins were children soldiers, they were forced into traumatic situations, life and death situations, at the ripe ages of 14-17, they have crazy trauma, Lance became a farmer out of fear, a fear for flying again, a fear that if he got back into a cockpit he would be back in space fighting a fleet of galran soldiers, that he'd lose himself again.
Okay that's all I can think of, thx zephi I luv you <333
#i love allura guys pls dont murder me#ik i didnt say anything abt pidge or hunk#i couldnt think of anything#no klance headcanons here#only the affects of their trauma#ik its a kids show#but im taking away the narritive dissonance#rahhh#klance#vld#voltron#voltron headcanons
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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Just a reminder that Nakajima Atsushi of Bungou Stray Dogs is my special guy, and anyone who says he's a bad protagonist and/or that the protagonist should've been Dazai can catch the pointy end of my sword.
idc if you think he's annoying. If Dazai were the protagonist(and I say this as a huge Dazai fan) I guarantee people would find him annoying. Because people are never pleased and need something to bitch about.
Atsushi is messy, he is a bitch, he is morally grey, he is kind, he's a kid and his world is constantly falling down around him. And he is the best choice for bsd's protagonist.
#Just god damn#he's a good protagonist#i dont understand why people hate him so much#“His flashbacks are annoying and repetitive!” he was tortured as a child.#istg its like people dont understand that childhood trauma can affect you in your adult life#and even then When bsd started. the age of majority was 20 it was only lowered to 18 in 2022#meaning that Atsushi as the story started was still a child!#i am just so tired of people acting like any protag that isnt squeaky clean and Moral Goodness is a bad mc#bsd#bungou stray dogs#Vera rants about their fave media(s)#bsd atsushi#Atsushi Defense Squad
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Happy EDS awareness month!
I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.
EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.
I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!
I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.
So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.
#I thought about putting my comic patreon and kofi links on here but it felt wrong#I really want this post to just be for my audience!#just so you can feel a little seen and just learn a little more about me#I am NOT inviting invasive questions#this is NOT opening the door to discussion on ways it affects my life#this is me sharing a limited glimpse into a part of my personal life#the real pain that this has caused me is shit like my bfs mom telling him to break up with me over it#and people calling me slurs and whatever#I mean obviously the pain itself too but#yeah.#I dont want to talk about that trauma to my thousands of followers in a way they can reblog it and share it around#so#this is all just for you guys#I love you!#thank you for being here#it's the only reason I'm able to create#is because of the support people give me.#well. I mean actually cause of the support webtoon is giving me tbh#I do NOT make enough to quit yet#but the support from my audience keeps me going and makes all the shittiness of my job worth it#it reminds me that creating stories is worth it all#the physical and emotional pain!#so thank you for keeping me motivated and going
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I want a character who is touch averse and everyone's cool about it. Everyone respects this boundary. Nobody thinks they're weird or rude, nobody tries to "fix" them with a hug, nobody even tries to talk them into getting hugged. They show love and care for other characters in nonphysical ways and the others do the same for them. Because love does not require physical contact.
#speaking as someone who (sometimes) really likes touch#why is it that characters only get to be touch averse if they have trauma relating to it#why is it always framed as secretly wanting to be touched#and i LIKE that in fiction#but where is the love for people that do not like touch and do not want it ever#the closest we get is characters who only accept physical affection from their love interest#but we have plenty of those. what about couples or polycules where there's no touch#and still lots of love#anyway i'm gonna think about which of my faves might be touch averse.#kei shush#touch aversion
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You know what I realized? Shen Jiu was doomed because he was too human.
#idea dump#ramblings of a sleep deprived girl#mxtx svsss#svsss#shen jiu#scum villian self saving system#the ironic tragedy that SJ doesn't view himself as human#but it was his own humanity that was his downfall#SJ and LBH are two sides of the same doomed coin#SJ was doomed by his humanity#while LBH is doomed by his inhumanity#you can't convince me that OG LBH's life isn't going to eventually go on a downward spiral#he became a bigger monster than SJ ever was#it's only a matter of time until OG LBH himself becomes someone else's villain#the cycle of abuse keeps on going#SJ was too human to be the untouchable cultivator everyone wanted him to be#too human not to be so deeply affected by his trauma#too human to not be bitter and jealous#he was too human to ever really belong on Cang Qiong as a peak lord#his life would have been infinitely better if he learned everything he could then left to be a rouge cultivator#he would have been in a better place down in the earth with humanity#rather than up in the clouds with the immortals
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How do you headcanon regulus personality to be like? Do you feel as though James and regulus complement each other in some ways?
why yes of course! i fundamentally disagree w outwardly mean and evil regulus bc it makes no sense canonically. perhaps in an au where he separates himself from his parents and gets to be happy but regulus cares too much to be outwardly rude to people . it would impact his reputation and his families reputation like he isn’t hexing people in the hallways . he’s a professional faker (shit talks behind people’s back most definitely) and feels guilty and horrible everytime he’s plagued with an evil thought . i know many people view him as a selfish character but i think he’s fundamentally not . he puts everyone else’s wishes for him above his own . he doesn’t really exist as a person outside of his family . i do think , outside of this control, he would be sarcastic and have very dry humor , would love to read and would be very introverted but long for connection and friendship. a loner not by choice, he enjoys company but has no idea how to reach for it. i think he loves magic and magical creatures and genuinely holds a lot of love in his heart that his family disapproves of !! regulus soft black !!! not to say i think regulus doesn’t have an attitude and an edge …. i just think he has fundamentally good morals sorry! i’m a good person regulus black enjoyer i can’t help it …. of course he’s morally gray but most of the decisions he makes r caused by the life long abuse and trauma he is subject to . regulus black was suicidal as hell in those deatheater meetings the moment he turned 18 he killed himself LMFAO . i just know he was the most uncomfortable person in there at any given moment . i think vaguely threatening posh regulus is true but it is his exterior and the assumptions ppl make … and then they get to know him and realize he’s got like a little kid version of himself who holds the world with so much fascination . and it makes you sad when you realize he thinks it’s a flaw and wants to stomp it out
in this way i think he compliments james very well!! both people who really do value others and life but behave in very odd judgmental ways (regulus being a fake recluse who can’t function as a person w control over his life and opinions who is fake as hell and sarcastic whilst also having no understanding of social situations and desperate to be liked by people around him. number one peer pressure victim. 15,000 mental illnesses and a penchant for self harming behavior.) (james potter who is unfortunately consistently acting like a frat bro at any given moment : assumes everyone naturally loves him and is mostly right which does evil things for him as a person . would die for his friends but is also insufferable to be around (affectionate) . harshly judgmental to anyone who doesn’t fit into his box of what counts as a good person (which by the way regulus challenges in a way i think helps james as a character!) . looping back to the frat bro thing i think james is the type of person to throw a crazy party and convince everybody to drink and do unsafe things for the fun and when u realize u don’t have a ride home and can’t walk u are so fucking SCARED to ask to stay the night bc of his general vibes but then he ends up taking care of you and getting u pain killers and making like an awesome breakfast for the whole crew? should be the worst person you know but just beneath the surface is so much good it’s impossible to hate him.) you would never think these people would get along but then they both love quidditch and train for it like it’s their life and they are both academics with serious opinions on art and literature they would both die for even though they are often opposing . they are the first people they can have a conversation with and truly match eachothers freak on any given topic. the fundamentals of both of their characters is how much they care about life and the things inside of it . it manifests in different ways but i truly think the thesis of jegulus is that they are so much more similar than one might think outwardly , and it creates a soft intimacy between them . and also just james introducing the concept of silliness fun and happiness into regulus’ life lol!!
#they mean so much to me ….#jegulus you will always be famous!!#good regulus black YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!#marauders#marauders era#regulus black#rab#jegulus#james potter#snake in the lions den#ivy answers#i know many people think viewing regulus black as a good person is boring but i disagree#i see nothing boring about a good person who thinks their goodness is a personal flaw based on their grooming and trauma#and is trying very hard to act like the “bad person they are expected to be bc they think it will earn them affection from their groomers#just to realize it will not and everything they’d done has only made them miserable and ruined their relationships and dreams and hopes#you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing !!!!#if u don’t get it u don’t get it but something made regulus guilty enough to immediately decide to kill himself#when he very easily could have lived
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I need a fic where reg’s touch aversion doesn’t magically disappear the moment he meets James
#regulus black#jegulus#james potter#marauders#trauma doesn’t disappear when you meet the right person#no hate for the fics that let him be happy#I just need to see somebody addressing the way his trauma affects his realtionship with James cause most of the time#it’s only a problem before they get together
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Maybe I’ll make a long post about this but. . .
YORU IS ASA’S MOM
#metaphorically of course#but ‘children are their parent’s property’#a.k.a. ‘children exist to be used by their parents’#at the exact second asa figured out yoru used her to get what she wants#lots of Asa’s trauma is also from losing her mom#so when she found this authority figure who lives in her head and looks just like her and tells her what to do#no wonder she unintentionally decided yoru is her mom#even though yoru was clearly using her to get what she wants#yoru is to asa as Makima is to denji#that traumatized kid latching onto an authority figure that’s clearly evil because they’re one of the only people who showed them affection#chainsaw man#csm#csm part 2#csm manga#asa mitaka#yoru#csm yoru#csm asa mitaka
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like????#unprompted???? what's going on there????#well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking#to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them'#and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually#had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed#and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you!#he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about#'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know#has reinforced that for me#'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect#then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie#I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3#They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that#anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S.#So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them#cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit#I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt#ex christian#religious trauma#child abuse tw
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Not to psychoanalyze (Yes, to do that), but given Armand's history, his only preconception of what love is, is to view it through pure desire. Love - and more broadly accurate, his life purpose for like half a millenia - as only he's ever known it, has only been experienced through transactional wish-fulfillment fantasies, of which he was the one typically sought after to complete such an exchange. And so naturally, in his own seeking, he replicates it. Though to some degree he also replicates the fantastical existence of fictional romances to compensate.
This lack of true experience of love without desire or fantasy, making his always unfilled 'objet petit a' - his object of desire - (a partner he desires a particular love from but does not receive to his fulfillment) - the catalyst for believing there is no other form of love to be had. That he can simply love the person, and be altruistic to their personhood, without them filling a role or desire for him, just would never occur. He's egotistical and overly pragmatic towards others by the fault of formative experiences denying him his own personhood. In being groomed into the object of desire, he no longer sees anyone else but as such. It's equal parts lack of self-awareness, meaning he simply has no way to counter-reflect upon himself the way one should behave, and developed coping mechanism, either consciously or unconsciously, taking on the role of those who inflicted upon him their desires to gain a sense of control over it.
In never escaping this cycle of love as desire, he always denies himself his full person, and simultaneously denies the personhood of others.
#tldr: Armand is ten trauma responses in a trench coat#the vampire armand#Armand#character analysis#IWTV#interview with the vampire#lacanian psychoanalysis? In my interview?#I'm NOT an expert by the way this is just for funsies#Also if he does love daniel and yet daniel gives him only the very thing he least desires and yet he still loves him after. That#would be like proof of a love beyond desire.#he might not realize this proof though or perhaps has a great anxiety about it's existence leading to cognitive dissonance#It would be proof as well if for whatever reason despite Daniel having every reason to hate him he does find something to love about him.#I think that kind of confrontation between them could lead towards a confrontation with the possible breaking of this cycle.#beyond daniel as well maintaining normal nonforceful noncommital relationships with others would just help him significantly#and I don’t even bring it up here but Armand falls victim to limerance I feel this involuntary obsessive affection towards someone’s#it’s to such that he values whatever can sustain this obsession more that the object of his obsession themselves#his deep fear of abandonment as only the immortal can bind another immortal to a sense of grounded place to surroundings#something tangibly like constant in a world that always and forever changes#to be abandoned by someone like you would be to be abandoned by the only world you can really know#that is if you need your world to be in relation to others and can’t actually concieve of yourself in it as a full self
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gonna say something about arcane that might piss people off but i think it needs to be said:
the reason so many people ignore vi's issues and trauma is because the show itself does so
#arcane#vi#when we get to see jinx feel complex emotions the show lingers on that#and treats it with the seriousness it deserves#those moments are impactful because when it comes to these scenes theyre just about her#shes the focus#her thoughts and emotions are what matters#but when it comes to vi its the opposite#her issues are framed through how they affect others or the plot#we only get to see her react to them in quick scenes where she looks sad or angry#or through a music montage...#its just not treated with the same severity as jinxs issues#and thats 100% because the writers are biased#which i think is pretty common so i have nothing against them#but it sucks that theres such an amazing heartbreaking story they could tell with vi#but they dont because they dont wanna linger on her complex emotions and trauma#probably cause they dont want the spotlight on her or they dont care enough#cant focus on vi to much cause viewers are supposed to view jinx as this fucked up anti hero who suffered the most out of everybody#which just isnt true#but whatever#vi has so much wasted potential it just makes me sad
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i understand why OP turned reblogs off but yeah. yeah thats just entirely it isn't it.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#also featuring my favorite: talking about how much abuse affects kids growing up and all the way trauma follows you into adulthood#and then turning around on those adults and asking why the fuck they havent gotten over themselves already#why dont you just pick yourself up by your bootstraps and stop being traumatized and maladjusted#you just have to do it no one else will help you we only want to offer help if youre a conceptually perfect innocent#with no free will of your own and no capability to do anything other than be a perfect victim#im shooting the next ex-friend that comes to me with ''oh youre just too much to deal with your problems are just Too Much''#also my favorite. recommending therapy like psych abuse isnt a thing and you arent a vulnerable population to said abuse.
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breaking my silence i fully believe charles is winning in vegas
#i was happier when max was dominating i think#cant even enjoy ferrari as second force now. the potential mcl/4 championship is stressing me out#like last year nothing really mattered by vegas. max literally already won the wdc#the lows like sg quali fumble are lower this year to me because it actually means something😭#2022 must have felt horrible thoughts and prayers to everyone who was around then#now if charles finishes low he doesnt only affect his own points he increases the chances of a mcl championship#like how am i going to survive the winter break w this knowledge#also back to the post this year we conquer the pig!#interlagos would also be nice#i still recall staying up til 4am only for the dnf to happen. like bffr#i just stayed up to watch alonso go zoom#whoops dns* ok this turned into some 2023 trauma dump#vegas: i was fuming mad at turn1 and fuming mad at the sc
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Reading some more books about autism ! I don't quite know if I'm on the spectrum (a lot of tests seem to lean towards yes) but still! A lot of them make the very lonely person inside me feel seen and understood a little more than before :]
#im not gonna lie im a little hesitant to get seriously tested. a lot of professionals think its a trendy tik tok thing and i have a feeling#that i wouldnt be taken seriously anyway#besides in the us theres pretty much no benefit to being professionally diagnosed as an adult and only consequences#i also think i need to find a therapist who specializes in cptsd cuz boy howdy. theres a lot of other stuff underlying that has sat dusty#in my brain for a long time#i just need a psychologist thats willing to get down and dirty with my trauma because i sure am not good at it on my own#also if anyone knows anytging about house fires leaving you technically homeless at the age of 9 and how that affected you in life.#shoot it my way lol
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A trend in Astarion fics that I find bizarre is the idea that he's never been treated gently during sex. This is difficult to believe for one simple reason: some of Astarion's victims were virgins.
Astarion: You were handsome. Shy. You'd never been kissed. Sebastian: You taught me how. And then you destroyed me.
I get the desire to make his current partner special by having their sex be good and wholesome in comparison to his other trysts, but this is a flawed sentiment. The cutscene of that first night together is incredibly tender from the kiss to laying on the grass - the only outlier being if you offer your neck - and if you sleep with Astarion but keep it at that night, Astarion himself says he will never forget you. Not because the PC was uniquely gentle with him in bed, but because they were the first person he ever slept with of his own free will. It's his choice that makes that night special to him moreso than anything the PC may or may not have done during that time.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion ancunin#astarion#the only exception i have to this is rimming. im down so bad for him being overwhelmed from being eaten out its not even funny#also the blood drinking since that is canonically new. makes me wonder how not being hungry would specifically affect him during sexy times#it's an eat or be eaten out world#...anyway#other factors can and probably do make their adult fun times special for him. particularly the intricacies of personal dynamics#a night w a pc that listens to him. lets him drink often. and saves the tiefs is def more special than one w a pc who does none of those#i really enjoy the tension between his hating heroic types and them being the most likely to provide the things he needs to survive#oh and smth thats somewhat related to this#i don't think astarion ever let his conquests see his back#in the clearing he's always facing his partner and even the camera doesnt show his back until the dramatic reveal#given that his victims were all one night stands it'd be p easy to convince each of them to do it face to face#leaves plenty of positions and ftf is oft more romantic which could def be an interesting conflict for him and his lover#so many common gestures of affection have been ruined for him. theyre just motions at best now#that makes it easier for their faces to be ingrained in his head so. bonus trauma lol
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