#had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed

[gxlden-angels]

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

[noctuaas]

AS YOU WISH; t. kuroo

synopsis; in this tale of romance, revenge, and treason, you, a beautiful commoner, are set to become the princess of aobajousai. will your one true love be able to save you in time?

pairing; kuroo tetsurou x reader

content; princess bride au (heavily based on both the movie and novel), medieval au, torture, mild violence, drama, fantasy/adventure, murder, fem!reader

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01 ; THE BRIDE

TO BE THE MOST beautiful girl in the world was a concept far past your concern. Those around you certainly saw the potential, but at 16 years old, you simply could not care less to capitalize on your natural beauty. (Beauty routines were exhausting in your eyes. You only washed your face so as not to feel filthy, taking a razor to your leg hair was far more trouble than it seemed worth, and you were quite sick of brushing your hair, so you did so as little as possible.) All you really wanted to do was ride your horse and pester the farm boy that worked for your parents.

Prince, as you had taken to calling the horse when he was just a yearling, was a loyal companion. Other girls your age grew attached to one of their herding dogs’ pups, or the kitten of a barn cat, but you had Prince. He always came when you called, steered where you told him even on a loose rein, nuzzled your face on bad days. 

For all the time you spent taunting and bossing the farm boy around—“Farm Boy, fetch me this,” and “Farm Boy, take care of that,”—he always had one thing in common with the horse: he always did as he was told.

(Perhaps you knew that he was really a young man now—he was a year or two older than you—but he had been just an orphaned boy when he first came to work for your father, so that was what you referred to him as: Farm Boy.)

“As you wish,” he always replied, without fail.

Your father was fond of the farm boy, often remarking how he should leave him an acre of land in his will for all his hard work. These conversations never lasted long though, not before your parents would turn to you and chide you for needing to go bathe again and clean yourself up after spending the day in the barn.

Despite your disdain for taking care of yourself like a “proper lady,” as your mother liked to say, your natural beauty was still enough to cause the village boys to flock to you. Those dimwits always liked to badger you with stupid questions whenever you rode into town, offering silly favors and making awkward small talk, much to dismay of the rest of the girls in the village. The boys were always so annoying, and you often noted how much more tolerable Farm Boy was as you dismissed their advances. Eventually they took to making fun of you, laughing over snide remarks about you because they must have been embarrassed about being shot down. Sometimes the insults were too much to ignore, and when that was the case, Farm Boy took matters into his own hands. You always thanked him after he sent a village boy home bloodied and crying, and he always answered, “As you wish.”

You came to realize that Farm Boy was the only boy your age whose presence you seemed to enjoy. One night, you lied awake with the dim light from a full moon crawling through your window, thinking about how he was always kind and respectful to you, how he protected you and your honor, how he seemed to smile at you differently than he ever smiled at the other girls in town. (You also let yourself admit that he was quite handsome, with his amber eyes and ebony hair that was always in a perfect bedhead state, which was something you had never bothered caring about before.)

After that, your time was no longer divided between riding your horse and pestering the farm boy; now, ‘pestering’ was to be replaced with ‘falling for’. You let him join you on rides through the woods on Prince; you began doing your morning reading in the barn to keep him company while he fed the animals; you took it upon yourself to take out any extra supper your mother cooked to him. You even decided to stop calling him ‘Farm Boy’.

“What’s your actual name, Farm Boy?” you asked out of the blue.

“Why do you ask?” he had replied, and you snorted in mild amusement.

“Well, after having known you all these years, it must be quite rude of me to still call you ‘Farm Boy’.”

He paused and grinned that endearing grin of his, “Just call me Kuroo, then.”

Everything was so blissful for the year following. You loved Kuroo, and he loved you. Even on the day the royal Count and Countess of Aobajousai had strangely paid your family a visit, you both were sure of this; because while the Countess took Kuroo’s arm gently for him to show her the dairy cows and the Count watched you intently as you followed the small procession on your horse, you and Kuroo both stared at each other.

At the end of one year though, Kuroo unexpectedly showed up at your window in the middle of the night.

“I’ve come to say goodbye.”

You shot up straight in your bed, cocking your head incredulously, “What do you mean, ‘goodbye’?”

“I mean I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? Have I done—”

“I’m taking to the sea to seek my fortune,” he cut you off. “There’s a ship that sails out of Karasuno, to the new country of Inarizaki. There’s great opportunity there, so I’m going.”

You were shell-shocked for a moment. Leaving? Sailing to Inarizaki? Where was this all coming from?

“But why? What about the farm? What about us?” You finally said. Your voice was already beginning to quiver pathetically as tears brimmed in your eyes.

“I’ve been training at night, so I hardly need sleep or food, and I’ll get two 10-hour-a-day jobs. I’m gonna save every penny, and in just a couple years I’ll have enough to buy a big farm and build a brand new house just for the two of us.”

“For the two of us?” Your brows furrowed and your voice was meek.

“Yes, (y/n). I love you. All these years I’ve stayed here because of you. I’ve taught myself foreign languages, made my body strong, everything, for you. I’ve been head over heels for you since I was a kid. Do you understand what I’m saying, or should I keep going?”

(By now, Kuroo had squeezed his broad frame through your window, somehow landing gracefully on the floor and sliding next to you on your bed so he could wipe away your tears with his thumb. It was a good thing he was athletic enough to do so quietly, because if your parents caught him in your room, all hell might break loose.)

“Never stop,” you mumbled dreamily.

“There hasn’t been a day—”

“You better not be teasing me, Kuroo, or I’ll have your hide,” you broke in this time. Kuroo loved to tease you, and it was normally all in good fun, but if that was the case now, then he was taking it way too far.

“I’d never joke about loving you,” he replied. “Remember all those years when you would tell me, ‘Farm Boy, do this, Farm Boy, do that’? What did I always say?”

“‘As you wish’.”

“Well, that’s just what you thought I was saying. I was actually saying ‘I love you’,” Kuroo smiled gently and ran his fingers through your hair.

All that time? You couldn’t even recall the first time Kuroo started saying ‘As you wish’ to all your commands, but apparently he had been in love with you. Before you had ever even noticed him, he was devoted to you. It sounded like a fairy tale.

“I love you too, Kuroo. I’ll never stop loving you, I swear,” you finally said.

“I’ll hold you to it, princess. I have to go now if I want to make it to Karasuno in time, but I’ll send for you soon. Promise.”

You nodded in understanding, but you couldn’t let him leave without one last kiss.

There had been five great kisses since the beginning of time. Though the precise rating of kisses is a bit convoluted and controversial (everyone knows that the formula for a great kiss is comprised of timing, affection, intensity, and duration, but there has never been a universal agreement on each element’s weight), there was no doubt that this kiss left every other in the dust.

The following morning, all you wanted to do was lay around and mope. It was perfectly justifiable, considering the love of your life had just left the country, and you wouldn’t see him for God knows how long. You wallowed in self pity for about an hour before realizing that Kuroo was out in the great big world now, and with as handsome as he was, he would surely have women throwing themselves at him.

What if all this moping destroys my beauty, and when he sends for me, I’ll arrive in Inarizaki, and he’ll take one look at me and send me back?

“Mother,” you ran downstairs, interrupting whatever petty argument your parents were having. “I need your advice. How can I better take care of my appearance?”

“You’ve never cared about your appearance, honey. Why are you asking this all of a sudden?”

“Well, I’m nearly 18 now. I figure it’s about time I start behaving a little more like a lady,” you lied. It was enough to appease your mother, and she grabbed your arm and began dragging you to the washroom in delight.

You quickly learned that taking such care of yourself was hard work; the saying, ‘beauty is pain,’ made an awful lot of sense now. But for Kuroo, nothing was too much. Every morning, you awoke at dawn to start the farm chores. You had to pick up all the slack left by Kuroo, so there wasn’t really any time for self-improvement until the afternoon, but once you started, you took it very seriously. Daily baths, simple exercises, and all the time it took to brush your hair out perfectly before bed.

If the whole town thought you were beautiful before, now they all knew you must be a contender for the most beautiful girl in the world. You, however, still had no care for how beautiful the rest of the world found you; as long as Kuroo found you beautiful. (In the coming years, you would learn that you were beautiful no matter what, and simplify your beauty routine to what you liked. As long as you felt clean and tidy, that was sufficient.)

Kuroo wrote you letters every few months, and you kept every one of them. Sometimes people would ask you how he was doing, which was a mistake unless they had a lot of spare time, because you could talk about him for hours. It was obvious that you were completely and utterly in love, and so the village boys eventually stopped trying, and the village girls warmed back up to you.

It made sense the way Kuroo’s death hit you the way it did.

The news reached your parents first. The Count (a new fellow named Iwaizumi, appointed by Prince Oikawa shortly after the last one’s death) was sent to your farm to deliver the news since it was Kuroo’s last known place of residence. You were returning from town on your horse when Count Iwaizumi was leaving your property.

“Miss,” he nodded politely as you crossed paths. You rode on in confusion, and the new Count watched you intently, much like the last one.

When you made it into the house, both your parents hushed up and looked at you with pity.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s The Crow’s Wing, darling. It was attacked,” your mother told you.

Kuroo’s ship was attacked? You furrowed your brows, “What?”

“Pirates. In the night,” your father explained.

You knew the trip across the sea would be dangerous, but you never thought it would happen to him. Sliding into a chair, you decided it might be best to sit down.

The room was quiet until you managed to squeak out, “So Kuroo’s been taken prisoner, then?”

A long sigh from your parents, and then, a, “No.”

“It was the Dread Pirate Nekomata.”

You blinked, willing back tears. The Dread Pirate Nekomata was the most famous pirate in all the world, and he never took prisoners. In all these years in his reign of terror, no one survived an attack from the Dread Pirate Nekomata.

You went to your room, and this time around, you allowed yourself to mope. For six days, you sulked, and cried, and mourned. Not once did you come out of your room, so your parents took to leaving food outside your door, which you only ever picked at meekly. During those six days in your room, you decided you would never love again.

[much-obliged-timothy]

Dad Tim & Uncle Rhys Part 7

I had an absolutely soul-crushing, exhausting day at work and needed to write something soft. This didn’t come out the way I planned at all, but that about sums up my experience as a writer. I plan to make a master post for these shorts soon! And you can find part one here! 

Rhys had reluctantly accepted that he’d somehow gotten himself dragged into a weird relationship with the Lawrence family.

It was why he was currently making his way to Tim’s house. Tim had invited him over for dinner and drinks. The two did have a little business to discuss, but the whole evening was largely casual.

Rhys had considered refusing, but one look at Phoenix’s excited little face and he knew his fate was sealed. The kid had taken a noticeable liking to him, even as Lorelei tried to steal away his affection for herself. Rhys wished she’d win it already.

Still, he wasn’t as moody as he expected when he knocked on the front door. He’d been in the house only twice before, once when Tim was sick and once to drop off some paperwork for Tim to sign.

Tim answered the door, wiping his hands on a towel as he stepped aside to less Rhys in. “Hey, Rhys. It’s almost ready. Mind keeping an eye on my kid while I switch over the laundry? He keeps getting close to the stove.”

“I knew you invited me here just to babysit,” Rhys said, shaking his head.

“Just go make sure my kid doesn’t cook himself to a crisp for a few minutes,” Tim said, waving him away. “Wine’s on the counter if you want to help yourself.”

Rhys made his way to the kitchen. Phoenix sat on the floor, tattered bear tucked safely into his lap and toy gun in hand. He was firing it off at a paper target hung up on the wall on the other side of the kitchen.

“Boss guy,” he said, looking up at Rhys. Phoenix pointed at the shirt he was wearing, a little Atlas T-shirt Rhys had gifted him. “State a’ the art. I dressed myself.”

His mismatched socks and the plaid shirt he wore unbuttoned over the Atlas one, which also didn’t match, definitely proved that. “So I see. I like your shirt. Where are the glasses?”

Phoenix pointed to one cupboard. “There.” He pointed to another. “And those are the hard day glasses.”

Rhys opened the second cabinet and pulled out a wine glass. “I take it Tim calls it that?”

“Uh-huh. When dad gets a hard day glass, it means I get an extra scoop of ice cream to shut my mouth about it when mom calls,” Phoenix said.

Rhys set the glass down and uncorked the wine. He poured himself a generous helping, then sighed and poured a glass for Tim too to be polite.

He turned back and nearly had a heart attack. “Phoenix!” 

He lurched forward, snagging Phoenix’s shirt as he reached for the heated oven. He yanked the boy back, wrapping an arm around his chest.

“What the hell? That’s hot! That’s very hot! It’s-” He peered at the temperature, “425 degrees hot!”

Phoenix squirmed against him, effortlessly slipping out of Rhys’ hold. “It’s warm. I just wanna warm my hands.”

Tim poked his head in. “Phoenix Lawrence, are you trying to touch the oven again?”

Phoenix held up his hands. “They’re cold. I just wanna warm ‘em, dad.”

“You’re your mother’s son, you absolute headache,” Tim groaned, coming into the room. “Your hands wouldn’t be so cold if you hadn’t left the toy gun outside all damn day. It was freezing out today. That thing is never going to fully unthaw. Give it to me.”

Phoenix handed it over and Tim turned the sink on, letting the water get hot before running it over the toy. Phoenix tried to pull himself up onto the counter to watch, but failed.

Rhys sighed as Phoenix turned to him expectantly. Some part of him was admittedly touched, as Phoenix despised being touched by almost everyone but Tim. It was a sign of trust for him, something he didn’t give away easily after the trauma he’d endured growing up.

Rhys lifted the kid into his arms, letting Phoenix watch. When the gun was returned to him, he smiled wide and squirmed until Rhys set him down. He scooped up his bear and resumed his practice shots, Tim easily maneuvering around him. 

“Hey, uh, I’ve got to ask about the bear,” Rhys said, nodding to it.

“Oh. Right, a few weeks before he was born, I thought…” Tim shrugged helplessly. “I dunno, I just thought he should have some toy or something to comfort him. So I fought my way into one of the gift shops and got him that bear. Everything had Hyperion on it, nothing I could do about that. But he took right to it. Rarely goes anywhere without it, and doesn’t want a replacement. He had a blanket, too, but one of the scavengers destroyed it in a fight when they found my hideout.”

“He tore it,” Phoenix said, looking upset. “And he stabbed dad and dad bled all over it.”

Tim knelt next to Phoenix and ruffled his hair, smiling sadly. “Yea, sorry about that, pal. But we’ll find you another one, someday. If you weren’t so picky…”

“It was my blanket!” Phoenix said.

“I know, I know. Sorry I bleed when I’ve been stabbed in the leg,” Tim said. “I’ll try to keep my blood in my body and off your possessions from now on. Now, help set the table while I get the food. And if you get near that stove again, I’m going to...do...something...uh, something that’s...a stern dad thing to do?”

“That’ll show him,” Rhys said.

“Oh, shut up.” Tim stood up and began to get the food together as Phoenix tried to set the table.

“Tried” was the key word. He was too short to reach most of the tableware, and had to drag a chair around to each cupboard. Rhys finally took pity and helped him, passing down whatever he needed.

When they were done, they gathered at the table, passing plates around and piling them with food. Tim wasn’t the best cook in the world, but he’d taken to it well enough. 

“Hey,” Tim said, kicking Phoenix under the table and nodding to Rhys. “Tell boss guy what you did today.”

“I almost read a whole book by myself,” Phoenix said, eyes wide with pride. 

“He’ll be putting in his application as soon as he can read the questions,” Tim said, but he gave Phoenix a proud smile.

“Uh...where is he? School-wise, I mean,” Rhys said.

“Ahead in some areas, behind in others. We taught him how to read certain signs in the casino, and Ember taught him the alphabet. He’s really good at math, and verbally he’s pretty advanced for his age. It’s just reading and writing he struggles with,” Tim said. “We work at it every night. We do at least two hours of homeschooling a night.”

“You do?” Rhys was surprised to hear that; Tim had his assignments done so fast that he had to be working on them at home.

Tim nodded. “Yea. I bring him practice sheets to do while I work during the day, and we go over them at night and then do some lessons. I’m college educated, remember? I’m no teacher, but I went online to learn how to teach my kid myself. And Ember calls to do lessons with him.”

Rhys had to respect that. Tim could be so flippant sometimes that it was easy to forget how seriously he took raising his son. 

“Hey, um, Tim?” Rhys said. “You’re doing a great job raising him. You’re a good employee and a good dad.”

Tim seemed surprised. “I...thank you, Rhys. Thank you.”

“He’s the best dad!” Phoenix said. “‘Cept he takes forever in the shower.”

“Brat,” Tim said affectionately. 

They ate, Tim and Rhys talking their business. Phoenix was quiet as usual, not interrupting them and instead entertaining himself in a way that wouldn’t distract them.

When they’d finished the meal, Tim brought out ice cream, Phoenix’s face lighting up. Tim handed him a bowl, but he reluctantly shook his head, pointing at Rhys.

“Boss guy first,” he said.

“Me first?” Rhys said.

“Dad said guests are s’posed to get food first,” Phoenix said. He hesitated, then blurted, “But save some for me. Please.”

“I’m not going to eat the whole thing!” Rhys said indignantly. “You’d have to roll me out of here.”

Phoenix watched anxiously as Rhys scooped himself ice cream. He took a generous portion, Phoenix leaning forward a little as if he was going to complain. A look from Tim had him pouting but staying quiet.

Rhys let him sit in his misery for a moment longer before passing the bowl to him. “A thanks for setting the table.”

Phoenix smiled widely, taking the bowl. “Wow! You don’t suck, boss guy!”

“Uh, just say thanks,” Tim said with a sigh. “‘You don’t suck’ isn’t the compliment you think it is.”

“Oh,” Phoenix said. “But he doesn’t suck. Look at all the ice cream he gave me, dad.”

“Yea, we’ll just not tell your mom you ate that much in one night,” Tim said, passing another bowl to Rhys. “Schooling I’m on top of, diet I’m working on.” 

They ate their ice cream, Phoenix babbling on happily about the school lesson Tim had given him today. He was trying to tell Rhys about the story he’d read almost by himself.

When they’d finished eating, they all cleaned the kitchen together and shifted out to the living room. Phoenix sat in Tim’s lap on the couch, clutching a juice box in one hand and his bear in the other. 

“Be right back,” Tim said, nudging Phoenix off himself. “I just have to use the bathroom.”

He disappeared down the hallway. Phoenix sipped at his juice box before looking at Rhys.

“Boss guy, if I learn how to read good, can I help at work?” he said.

“Read well,” Rhys said. “Not ‘read good’. Right, not the point here. Why do you want to help at work?”

“So dad can sleep,” he said. “He gets up real early sometimes to get work done.” He fidgeted with his juice box. “‘Cause of me. ‘Cause he’s busy helping me. I wasn’t s’posed to listen, but I did and I heard mom tell dad he’s gonna work himself to death. I don’t want my dad to die. I wanna help him.” 

“That’s just a figure of speech. He won’t actually work himself to death,” Rhys assured.

But...Phoenix was right. Not only was Tim readjusting to life outside of the casino after fighting for survival daily for seven years, but he was also readjusting to having a busy, demanding job. And on top of that, he was a single father, raising his oops kid who was suffering much of the same trauma as him.

Rhys considered it. Tim rarely missed work, enough so that when he did, Rhys knew it was serious. He came early and stayed late. He left work and schooled Phoenix at home. He really had no free time for himself. His life had become work and parenting. He had no one to watch his son for a day so he could take a break.

Shit. Rhys thought back, realizing how quick he was to dismiss Tim’s obvious signs of exhaustion. The constant coffees, the bags under his eyes, the energy drinks, the way he needed to get up and pace a bit if he sat too long, his occasional quick temper. 

“Phoenix, you’re just a kid. It’s not your job to worry about your dad,” Rhys said. “He’ll be okay.”

“But-” Phoenix started.

“Let me worry about him,” Rhys said. “Do you trust me to make sure he’s okay?”

Phoenix hesitated, clearly torn. His dad was the most important person in his life. He wouldn’t trust Tim’s safety to just anyone.

But Rhys must’ve really won the kid over, because eventually, he nodded. “Yea, okay. But I’m gonna learn how to read so I can help! I promise!”

When Tim returned to the room, Rhys glanced at Phoenix. “Hey, Phoenix, there were some chips in one of the cupboards. Can you get them, please? You can have some. I’m making that call even if your dad says no.”

“Yea, fine, I already let him eat like shit. What’s one more snack?” Tim said, waving Phoenix away.

“Gotta let me, or I’ll tell mom you swore again,” Phoenix said, heading into the kitchen.

“Tim,” Rhys said, leaning forward. “Do you want a day off?”

“Huh? Nah, don’t need one. I’ll fall behind,” Tim said. “And Phoenix likes going to work with me.”

“No, I mean…” Rhys shook his head a little. “I mean from work and from watching Phoenix. Just a day. Or even an evening.”

“What, with my abundance of babysitters?” Tim said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ll watch him.” Oh, god, he was regretting it already. But Tim deserved it, so Rhys plowed on ahead. “I’ll take him for a day so you can have some rest. He can come to my office for the day. You can sleep in, or go out or...whatever.” 

“You’d do that?” Tim looked amazed. “You’d really do that for me?”

“Yes,” Rhys said. “You’re kind of a pain in the ass, but you’re my employee and you work harder than anyone else I know. And I guess we’re...kind of...friends?”

Tim sat back. “I...thanks, Rhys.” He looked down at his wine. “Maybe...fuck, maybe if you wouldn’t mind just, you know, just taking him for an hour or two, just…” He sighed. “I’m a shit dad. Just so I can sleep in one morning. That’s all I need to recharge.”

“You just want to sleep in an extra hour or two?” Rhys said. “You don’t want to go out?”

“I’ve got nowhere to go,” Tim said. “My life changed the moment Ember told me she was pregnant. Phoenix is my responsibility, whether he was an accident or not. He’s gotten so much better since we came here, but he still has a long way to go. That’s my job to be by his side through it all, even if it’s exhausting. Honestly, Rhys, I’m not ready for time alone right now. I’m still working through my own shit from the casino. Having him with me keeps me grounded and reminds me why I have to work at getting better. But I could really, really use a little extra sleep one day.” 

Rhys laughed. “Sleep it is. You name the day, and I’ll come pick him up and take him into the office.”

Tim smiled, small but sincere. “Thanks, Rhys. You’re a good friend.”

Rhys was spared answering that as Phoenix came back in, pulling himself up next to Rhys and holding out the bag of chips. Rhys opened it and let Phoenix have a handful.

“Hey, why not read that book to me?” Rhys said.

“Really? You’ll let me?” Phoenix said.

“Well, obviously. You’ve got to get better at reading, right?” Rhys said, winking.

Phoenix beamed. “Dad! Where’s my book? Gotta read for boss guy.”

So they all sat together on the couch, Phoenix in between them. He read painfully slow and struggled often, but he managed through most of the book with little help from Tim and Rhys. They let him pick out another book to try, and Rhys found himself spending the night helping a little boy learn how to read, Phoenix determined even when he screwed up or got stuck. 

And two days later, Rhys picked him up from the house, Tim still fast asleep upstairs. He brought Phoenix to the office, telling the boy to close his eyes and hold his hands out.

When Phoenix opened his eyes, he found himself looking at a soft blanket with the Atlas logo, and “Phoenix Lawrence” stitched into the corner of it.

The smile on his face and the fierce hug he gave Rhys made it all worth it. He was suckered into this family, and as he hugged Phoenix back, he didn’t even mind it anymore.

[the-order-of-fools]

Stage Enemies interacting with the Knightfucker (AKA reader)

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King Knight, of course, has his goldarmors. They were meant to serve King Pridemoor, but since a fool is now running the kingdom, they have to adapt. They're all tired and just doing their jobs in order to support themselves and their families, but the shit they have to put up with is incredible. The whiny little manchild king changes his mind over and over again when it comes to banquets, festivities and everything alike, and then has the royal audacity to criticize them instead. Due to the circumstances, some of them have resorted to becoming bootlickers, it's the only way they can survive. Though, bootlickers or not, they all agree on one thing: You're far better than their king.They were shocked when you complimented them for the first time. They thought King Knight could only get with someone as annoying and unpleasant as him, but luckily for them you're the loveliest person to have around. And you care about their feelings, damn. Finally, someone who has the sobriety of a responsible adult. Finally, someone who actually respects them and praises their efforts. They're pooling all their efforts into convincing King Knight to marry you. They don't want you to leave, please, stay with them. 

Polar Knight isn't known for being the warmest out of the Order. He lets the ice creatures do their thing, he welcomes the Spinwolves with gentle pats and watches them roam and play around the desolate, frozen lands that surround the Stranded Ship, when they're not busy fighting off nosy intruders. He doesn't do much else. He's caring towards them, but they always find themselves craving more - the harsh climate and lonely scenery must weigh on them as well. All of this, until you found your way into that forsaken place and, most importantly, into the heart of its lord. Now, the wolves keep running towards you for their daily dose of pats and belly rubs and someone to play with them in the snow. You're the perfect source of warmth for such a cold place like the Stranded Ship - and now that you're here, it seems like Polar has become a little bit warmer as well. A win-win for everyone.

Tinker Knight has three types of companions: Cogslotters, electrodents and you. His workers appreciate him quite a bit. He's truly a hardworker who puts a lot of effort and creativity into his gadgets, not to mention his giant robot. He's just and fair with them, praising those whose work he admires most. All of those who have worked for him have mostly pleasant occasions to recount. Even if he may be the shortest thing alive, he is still their number one dad. Your appearance startled them a little. Work is work, but you? How could they not raise a brow and whisper among themselves when they figured out that you and Tinker were more than friends. Debates took place, investigations were ran to see if you were truly who you pretended to be. As all the results came clear, they more or less stared at you aghast, suddenly realizing that their boss fucks. The electrodents cannot think or feel, they only move around, oblivious to the fact that their creator is fucking in the same room as them.

The Gulper Mages weren't so keen on accepting a stranger on the Iron Whale the first time they saw you. They're greedy things just like their captain, they don't want anyone to come and try steal their gold. The fish? They don't care, they simply swim around peacefully as long as they don't perceive any foul presence - and they seem to have a sixth sense for that. Still, the normally attentive Serprizes seemed not to be bothered by you, which caused great confusion among the Mages who largely relied on them to spot enemies. With time, even the most distrustful among Treasure Knight's ranks learned that you weren't someone to worry about - you were never interested in the Iron Whale's gold, but its captain. Soon, they came to know you better and realized how much of a pleasant presence you could be. Grapps came out of their dens just to look at you with their big round eyes and earn a good pat, Serprizes and Martars swam around you peacefully as you stretched out your hands to caress them as they crossed your path. Even Treasure Knight seemed more... peaceful around you, if not happy. The only thing that could make him happy was gold, and once the Mages saw that in him, they understood you valued just as much, they couldn't help but accept you with all the rightful honors - and no one had anything to object for.

The Flying machine is organized in the exact purpose of making the life of all intruders completely miserable. It's rather unsurprising that Hoverhafts are ready to slice and dice whoever comes through, minus the ladies and gentlemen Propeller Knight brings onto the ship. They're quite content with him as their captain. They all came here for adventure and they're sure as hell enjoying life to its fullest. With a such a suave and charismatic captain, their lives have reached higher than the sky. Thanks to this, they have managed to meet quite the interesting creatures in during their travels. Floatsomes are rather docile in nature unless an intruder is nearby. They can spend as much time as they want petting the harmless jelly blobs. Plantos are rather strange but adorable creatures that seem to be around the airship wherever they go. Their captain seems very fond of them, so very fond that he makes a point of showing you the dancing Plantos every night. It's quite a sight really, seeing them twirling in the skies above the lights of the Flying machine. The care their captain takes to invite you out every night makes them ponder: are you truly the one? You have been with him much longer than any other partner, is it truly more than a little romantic adventure of his? They're not here to judge, they only await their captain's commands.

Plague Knight doesn't seem to be very keen on taking care of his subordinates - some of the Plague Minions even seem to be scared by him, as he supposedly used to experiment on those who weren't efficient enough for his standards. However, they are slowly warming up to him again now that he has found someone to soothe his frustrations and convince him to turn a blind eye to their minor mistakes. You have become their angel and their best friend, and they couldn't be happier to welcome you in the Explodatorium and escort you to Plague Knight's lab every time you visit. At first, they weren't sure how to welcome a stranger - Plague Knight seldom lets people in, so it was only natural for the guardians to mistake you for an enemy. A Macawbe almost hit you in the head with a poisonous potion once, which taught you to always look up when you enter Plague Knight's not-so-humble abode. Ratsploders now run to you and then around you, waiting for you to lean down and pet them, Fairies (which normally are the most aggressive and unapproachable creatures in the kingdom) fly to you and swarm around you peacefully. If even Fairies accept you as part of the family, you have nothing to be scared of anymore.

The Leech Yard has, what the kids call, "spoopy vibes". Its inhabitants are usually undead monsters. That isn't to say that there aren't adorable little critters who you would absolutely die for. Tadvolts will zap you if you touch them, but gosh, look at them, they even have little crown-like crests. How can you not pet them? You're not quite sure what Invisishades are (as you have cleverly called them much to Specty's chagrin), but gosh, you love these things. You're at least partially sure that they're not actually the ghosts of late mortals (still, Specter Knight refuses to answer you thoroughly), so you try and fail to pet them every second of your trip. Man, you sure hope you aren't petting the ghost of a human or animal or else that would be weird, unless they're furies that is. Boneclangs act more like... servants. They're weird, and they stare at you through their eyeless sockets most if not all the time. Specter can turn their heads with a flick of his finger, but you like to keep them that way. You like to think they are appreciating you in their own weird, spooky way. Zambies are even weirder. They shuffle around awkwardly around the swamp. You have tried talking to one once but then he decided that your face would look better pressed against a gravestone. Thankfully, you happen to have the speend and energy of a living person. Sucks to be dead, Zambies. Of course, you have had more than one interaction with Super Skeletons. You're not quite sure why they call themselves that, but they might as well call themselves super if they're giants. You suppose they're Specter's right hand men, but they're also lovable doofuses that are dimmer than a candle in the rain. Still, you're quite fond of these giant babies.

The miners in the Lost City usually don't expect visits (unless it's another one of those annoying heroes), as Mole Knight is known for his dedication to his work and consequent lack of interpersonal relations. That seems to be a recurring topic among the members of the Order of No Quarter, although it's not commonly tackled. Mole Knight seems not to mind, he gets the most happiness out of an ancient artifact or peculiar stones anyway - until he met you, of course. Now, the most valuable of gems seem mere pebbles in comparison to you, and he is always happy to show you around the mines (that's how you discovered the wonders of Big Bohto rides) and share his knowledge with you. Molers pop out of the ground from time to time to greet you, others -the shyest- hide in the ground whenever you approach them to give free pats. There are even Molers that hide their face behind their claws whenever you kneel in front of them to pet them and compliment them for their hard work, and you can bet your knightfucker ass they're absolutely adorable. If Mole Knight had a face, he'd aww too. Blorbs are the most peculiar among all, and they all seem to have quite the jolly personality. Some of them jump right into your arms (unless they're Blazorbs, of course - they wouldn't want to set Mole Knight's beloved "friend" on fire, now would they?). Good thing that they're gummy and you can squeeze them as much as you want, they're the perfect anti-stress balls.

Terrorpin may seem intimidating at first glance... afterall, it's a spiky turtle mixed with a rhinoceros, it looks ready to impale everything that treads on its path. For that reason, you give it the best pats. You're already hanging around Black Knight, you're used to small intimidating things. Still, Terrorpin is huge, but like anything related to Black Knight, you find it absolutely adorable. You would die for it. It's huge and dumb and it likes salads and god you keep its shell shinier than Treasure Knight's gold. Black Knight may (not so gently) order you to stop spoiling it, but fuck him, this is wholesome turtle time and you refuse to stop  kissing and snuggling the giant spiky turtle. Don’t lie Black Knight, you want the kisses and the snuggles too. -Mod Tinker and ~Mod Propeller

[rachetmath]

What would it be like if rwbyjnor met the dutch, revy and rock

I don't understand the specifics of this request so I'll do this in the best way I can. This going to be long so be ready.

Rwby x Black lagoon

Black Lagoon crosses to Remnant:

Revy and Dutch along with team RWBY, Ren and Nora are fight a bunch of Beowolves while Jaune and Rock are fighting side by side with mostly Jaune doing most of the work while Rock provides a view tips and assisting mostly with what he can find.

Revy: So, let me get this straight you fight shit heads freaks of nature like these like every single day?

Ruby: Yep.

Dutch: And all of you have a very specific weapon that you customize yourselves to be it a blade and firearm?

Ren: Precisely.

Benny: And you have unnatural and natural resources like dust and with highly advanced technology?

Weiss: Yes.

Dutch: And you can use all that as well as this thing called aura along with a semblance?

Nora: Yeah, semblances are like a superpower.

Revy: How super?

Yang: Universal.

Revy: Well-

Revy looks to see Ruby turn her weapon from a sniper rifle to a scythe.

Revy: Dutch, can we stay here?

Dutch: HELL NO!!! Look, I hate to say this, but I much prefer seeing crazy psychos, and bullets fly than this horror fest. Plus, I may not be father but ya'll parents let you do this every day, they are very stupid and irresponsible.

Yang: Hey we're trained for this. Well except one.

Revy: Yeah that guy with Rock over there. He is doing fine but I can tell he's not all your levels. How did even survive let only get into your school?

Ruby: That we don't know or bother asking as long he works.

Revy: Well I can say that it's stupid but I still I wonder how he got in.

*Jaune and Rock side*

Rock: So, let’s get this straight. Your father never bothered to train you and no combat school was willing to accept you, so your best method was to cheat?

Jaune: Yeah, I know, I'm a complete fool.

Rock: I mean if you were willing to work hard to get there despite the risk, I say, you sir have my respect.

Jaune: But I am an idiot, I mean, I lost the only girl you who believed in me.

Rock: Jaune, let me give you a piece of advice. Get over yourself! If you still have even just one friend in this crazy messed up world then you're okay. Trust me, I know a little on how you feel. I mean look me compared to the others, do I look like I'm a mercenary?

Jaune: Why do hang out with them anyways?

Rock: Like you with your friends, mines, I guess appreciate my abilities. Look let's talk about this another time and try to survive this freak show.

Jaune: Deal.

RWBY and JNRO crosses to Black Lagoons:

Team RWBY and JNPR are fighting a mafia group along with Revy and Dutch. Ruby armed with a handgun, an old scythe and sniper with a bayonet, Weiss with a rapier and little knifes, Blake with a handgun and a katana, Yang with a shotgun and iron brazed knuckles, Jaune with an military armed shield, sword and rifle(Dutch taught him how to use it. Surprised it took him a week.) Nora with a grenade launcher, Ren dual wielding pistols and knives and Oscar with a pipe.

Revy: Holy crap, you brats are good even without your powers or usual weapons.

Ruby: We adapt.

Nora: Seriously, you guys do stuff like this every day?

Dutch: For the right price, yes. But yeah, you kids on a natural.

Yang: By the way, thanks for teaching Jaune how to use a gun.

Dutch: Thank Rock for making him listen, he said he wouldn't last long if he didn't. But in all seriously the guy learns quick, I mean, it took him a week to learn how you use that rifle.

Ren: A week! We need to start teaching him and make sure he brings one more often.

Nora: Might makes things easier from here on.

Jaune: Can all of stop talking and focus! We'll talk when we're done. Oscar, hurry up.

Oscar: Oh, I'm sorry but fighting with a pipe is hard!

Jaune: Why didn't you bring a sword!

Oscar: I will not kill!

After a crazy battle, the group along with Rock and Benny celebrated their victory at the bar. While the girls, as well as Ren and Oscar was living it up with Revy, Benny and Dutch, at the front bar Jaune and Rock were talking after Rock told him a stories about how his employers sold him out, the hell he endured in his stay Roanaper, Yukio, and his old client Garcia.

{Rock's side}

Jaune: Damn.

Rock: Yeah.

Jaune: Well, you did what you had to.

Rock: But I didn't have to. I should've walk away and not attached. I'm supposed to be the good guy, Jaune. But this city, I feel like it's eating me alive. All these mafia bosses, war criminals and shit... it's all just getting to me. You know.

Jaune: Yeah, I understand, but what are going to do about it? you made the choice to stay and you got live with it. I mean, hearing all the crap you've done, I somewhat envy you.

Rock: What do you mean?

Jaune: When Chang said pull out, you went in. Every time something bad happens you try to be the good guy and make things better. True it fails at times and from the look of this city, you'll have no choice but to throw righteousness away to survive.  But in my opinion, you still at least stand as the hero of the story.

Rock: *laugh* How so!? Come on tell me, how can I, a piece of under burying shit can possible still be a hero to you. The worthless knight, who can barely fight and couldn't save his partner!?

Jaune: Exactly. Most people survive based on luck.  You on the other hand survived not just on what you know but what learn in return. The world's a crazy place, and most of time you don't know where you'll end up. However, you still have control of what you do next. Your still able to keep people alive. You still do your job. You still try to be nice and maintain some level of morality even if it may never be enough or get you killed. So, trust me when I say this, you have done all what you could. Hell, I barely can do anything.

Rock: Shut up. When it comes down to it your friends are as crazy and trigger happy as Revy. They need somebody like you who can keep them alive. Just keep trying to do right by them and for yourself. Trust me, you can talk down to yourself all you want. But it doesn't change the fact that your alive, you made mistakes and you change. Promise you won't go down how I did, because believe me once you go too far in the darkness you may never come back from it. Or at least not be the same person you were before.  

Jaune: Yeah. Plus, that Revy woman, I think you can trust her to help you back up or shoot you down when you have gone too far.

Rock: Really? How come?

Jaune: She talks about you all the time when she's drunk. She saves you even when you deserve to die for being stupid. And finally, she hasn't killed you yet despite the many times you've pissed her off.

Rock: Speaking of women, which one of those lovely ladies is your girlfriend?

Jaune: Funny I was about ask you the same between Revy and the blonde, named, Eda.

Rock: *laughing* To the C.M.F.?

Jaune:  To the C.M.F *Shared a toast with Rock and started drinking*

{Revy Side}

Ruby: So, Revy?

Revy: What is it little red?

Ruby: Are you and Rock dating?

Revy: *cracks glass cup while blushing* W-w-WHAT!? NO!! Of course not. Why the hell would you ask that?

Nora: You look at him a lot.

Blake: You talk to him the most.

Yang: An unlike most, you call him your partner.

Revy: Well yeah cause he's useful. That’s all. Nothing special.

Weiss: Really, cause when you got drunk last time, we asked you about him, you got an attitude and started talking crazy.

Revy: Oh.

Yang: So how-

Revy: We started off at the wrong foot and we're just making up as we go.

Yang: Well that's great and-

Revy: Can't say the same thing for you guys and your friend Jaune, though.

Nora: Pardon?

Revy: I'm just saying, don't think you know everything about your friend, hell I don't think he cares about any of you.

Blake: *angry glare* What makes you say that?

Revy: Well let’s be clear here. Jaune was loser with dreams, he was willing to make those dreams a reality, no matter the price he didn't know he'll have to pay. And guess what, the debt was do and it caused Pyrrha her life.

Yang: Maybe so but-

Revy: And before you all start giving him praise for what he accomplished, let me ask you something. How did he feel afterwards? I mean, losing the only person to ever provide with some sort of love and respect, a family that never believed in once in his life, I say the kid must been a loser for a long time. And if him and his Sapphron were the only two to ever bother to leave the nest, then that proves that the rest of his siblings are just good for nothing nobodies who scared of the world, or just found more meaning in their lives without having to leave the comfort of their home. Face it, like Rock, your friend got something to prove and he's willing to do whatever it takes to prove himself to everyone. Even if it causes him his life and his humanity.

Ruby: No. No, we won't-

Revy: And what are you people going to do? Hold his hand? Give him those morally great speeches of yours? Pathetic. Just like your friend Pyrrha who died a meaningless death for worthless, foolish old man, who could barely do the job he's was given by god himself.

RWBYN: *angry at Revy comment but grows to accept it*

Ren was about to start threatening however Dutch stops him by reestablishing that one shot can turn the bar into a war zone and showing Ren that Revy always has her trigger finger ready. So, Ren does nothing.

Revy: Face it, you guys aren't capable of saving him. But what do I know, I'm no hero nor do I want to be? The only guy I seem to care about is changing and I don't know how he's going to turn out. To think that I might have to shoot him down someday. But fuck it, that’s just of missed up every world is.

Dutch: Wow Revy you changed.

Revy: What?

Benny: You act less bitchy than you were before and now you’re a little more open with others. Rock must have touched your heart.

Revy: Shut up, Benny. *looking red all over her face*

Everyone laughs at her embarrassment.

Revy: Oh, shut the fuck up you cunts! Hm. Anyways which one you are dating that knight in shining armor anyways since you're all worried about him?

Nora: I already got a boyfriend.

Revy: You mean twinkle toes right there. Mr. Emmo.

Nora: You must want to fight.

Revy: Anyone?

RWBY: Nope.

Revy: *makes a call*

Eda: Hey bitch, what do want?

Revy: Hey Eda do you like blondes? Because I got an average looking-

Eda barges in with her short green skirt and pink top shirt on. She looks at Revy, knowing what she wants, Revy points to Jaune with Rock and Eda makes her. She walks with hips swaying from side to side and sit between Rock and Jaune.

Rock: *surprised* Eda, what are doing here? When you did you get here?

Eda: Oh, Rock honey, I’m just taking advantage of my opportunities. *Sees Jaune staring in amazement. She smiles* Say, I heard rumors about you and your blonde friend right here and was wondering if you two would have some-

Revy and Weiss both break their glasses and make their way over.

Revy and Weiss: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM YOU CUNT!!!

Revy surprised how Weiss and she were in complete sink and while she smug, Weiss was embarrassed.

Revy: Oh, so you like him like that.

Weiss: *grabs Jaune by the arm and pulls him away* EVERYONE! WE ARE LEAVING!

Jaune: But Weiss I finally found someone I can talk!

Weiss: YOU’LL PLENTY OF PEOPLE TO TALK TO ONCE WE GET HOME!!

Jaune: But Weiss- damn it, later Rock. See you someday.

Rock: God speed brother and remember everything I told you.

Jaune: You as well and good luck.

A bright light was opened and just like that the kids disappeared. Back to their universe. Revy and Rock were smiling but Rock, remembering what Jaune said about trust, ask Revy

Rock: Revy?

Revy: What up, partner?

Rock: Let’s say, I things took too far and made an enemy of someone who would want me killed. Will you be there to kill me instead? Even if you were paid to do so, will be there to stop me?

Revy: *smiles but then covers Rocks eyes so he never sees it* Of course. I got you into this, so you’re my responsibility. Partner.

Rock: *smiles* Thanks.

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 4)

Bakugo x reader 

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo, but will trouble follow? 

Words : 3175

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Bakugo’s leg bounced up and down as his anxiety climbed. He had left you all alone at the apartment. He got up extra early despite the fact that he had been up most of the night tossing and turning because of another one of your nightmares.

He made you breakfast, left instructions for how to make lunch and even left some emergency cash with a note letting you known where he was going to be, for how long, and a number to reach him at if you needed him. He wanted to be prepared for anything. What he hadn't anticipated was you not calling him at all.

He wasnt some clingy bitch. He knew he didnt need to hold your hand through everything. You were a smart and capable girl. And he needed to chill out.  

You had gotten out of bed a little later than usual. Your nightmares had done a number on you and without Bakugo there to drag your ass out of bed you slept way longer than you should have. It was well past noon by the time you were up, showered and dressed. You put on your best outfit and hurried out the door taking the breakfast Bakugo had made to go. You were on a mission. You were going to get a job.

You had the route to the coffee shop memorized at this point but it did take longer than you remembered without Bakugo there to provide small talk on the way.

It wasn’t busy when you finally got there, in fact there were only three people there including you who didnt work there. You confidently strolled up to the counter and asked a very annoyed looking Tasha if they were still hiring.

She raised her eyebrows at you, “You are even dumber than you look...You really want to work here? With me? Do you even have any experience?”

You shrugged ignoring her little jab at you, “Bakugo taught me how to make coffee at home... and I really really love coffee...”

She simply scoffed and rolled her eyes,  “Pushing a button on a coffee pot and being a barista are two totally different things.” 

You bit your lip and nodded, “Yeah of course... I would never dream of insinuating that your job is easy. But I’m a quick leaner I promise!” 

Tasha stared at you for a few nerve wracking moments before rolling her eyes, “You’re lucky it’s not up to me. I’ll go get the manager.” You started to walk away but she grabbed your wrist. Panicking you pulled back but her grip tightened. She looked you straight in the eyes, “Look I shouldn't even be telling you this but I feel like its my job, one woman to another... The manager... he's a little handsy. Just.... be warned.” 

You slowly nodded, “Uh... thanks. Does the owner know? About the manager I mean... Bakugo knows him and I’m sure he could help if you want...” 

She yanked her hand back from yours, “I can take care of myself thanks. I don’t need a man to fight my battles for me unlike some people I know.” 

She turned on her heels and headed to the back office before you could respond. You desperately wanted to help her. Just because she could take care of herself doest mean she should have to. You pulled the note that Bakugo had left you and considered giving him a call but the manager was already walking out of his office and giving you a megawatt smile. 

“Well hello there. You must be Y/n. Tasha said you were interested in a job?” 

You politely nodded your head, “Yes sir, that would be correct.” 

His smile looked so sleazy, “Sir huh? I like the sound of that. Most of the girls around here aren't as respectful as you seem to be. Come take a seat. My name is Riku. I’m the manager here and I just have a few questions before we move any further.” He motioned to one of the couches that you had sat on many times before with Bakugo. But you knew better and your instincts drove you to take one of the single chairs next to the couch. 

If he was annoyed by this he hid it well. “So... Y/n. Tell me a little about yourself and why you would like a job here.” 

You wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans and cleared your throat. “Well I’d like to work here because I absolutely love coffee, and I really like this place. I come here so often and it’s very cozy. I’ll admit my skills are limited, but I’m a quick leaner and a hard worker.” 

He nodded as you spoke, “So what about you. You answered why you want a job but you haven't told me anything about yourself.”

You simply shrugged, “Not much to know honestly. I just uh... moved here. I don’t have many friends yet. I like to read, drink coffee, and my roommate is currently teaching me how to cook.” It felt so weird referring to Bakugo as your roommate. It felt like a lie almost as soon as you said it. But there was no need to dread on it now. 

“Are you 18?” 

You frowned, “I’m well over 18. Why? Do you have to be 18 to work here or something?” 

He shook his head, “I just prefer to have a more... mature staff here. That way we don’t run into any.... childish drama.”  

You averted your eyes away from his growing more and more uncomfortable the longer you sat there. “So uh... did I get the job or...”

He leaned over and put his hand on your thigh giving you chills, “Oh yes of course! Come with me and we’ll get you an apron and a name tag.” He stood up, “I hate to ask but would you mind starting today? Tasha, despite being a brat, is our best trainer and she’s here today.” 

You swallowed back your instinct to slap him for touching you, “Yeah that shouldn't be a problem.” You allowed yourself to relax as soon as his back was to you. Why were you doing this? Was this job really worth it? Working for a scummy boss and a trainer who for whatever reason hated you... But you needed a job. You couldn’t depend on Bakugo forever. 

You followed him behind the counter to what looked like a small break room. It consisted of a table a few chairs and cubbies to put your things. Tasha was currently occupying one of the chairs scrolling through her phone. Riku walked over and squeezed her shoulder, “Okay break time’s over. You need to start training the new girl.”

She looked up from her phone and locked eyes with you, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.. you actually hired her?!” 

Before he could even respond you sat down next to her, “Yes he did hire me, and I would like to officially burry the hatchet.” You reached your hand out to hers but she didnt take it. 

She stood up, “Whatever. Go get your stupid apron and meet me by the register.”

You looked at Riku who just shrugged, “Like I said... she's a brat. But I’m sure she’ll warm up to you eventually.” He handed you and apron, “Now get out there before she throws another fit. I can only handle her in small doses.” 

You pulled your hair up into a bun, threw your apron on and scurried out to catch up with Tasha. She was already by the register taping her fingers in annoyance, “Hurry up will ya! I don’t have all day.” 

You spent the next several hours learning in great detail about how to ring things into the register. She may not be very nice but she was in fact a great and thorough trainer. You were so excited to move on and start learning about all the machines and what they did. As the day went on she became more patient and her voice started to lose the board and distasteful tone. 

It was about an hour before close when the bell rang signaling a customer had walked into the store. Tasha gave you a look. “Alright lets see how much you learned. I’ll let you do this all on your own.” 

Giddy with excitement you skipped over to the  register, “Hello welcome in! What can I get-” Your eyes locked with a very, VERY, angry Bakugo. 

His hands were firmly planted on the counter in between the two of you. “Where the fuck have you been? I go all day without hearing from you then I get home to see that the food I had left for lunch was untouched and you were nowhere to be found! What the fuck Y/n!? Are you trying to kill me! I thought something had happened to you... I thought... I thought.” 

You reached your hand out and placed it on top of his, “You thought the worst. I completely understand, and I’m sorry I caused you to panic. I should have called to let you know but I wanted to surprise you... Surprise... I got a job...” 

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, “Well you could have at least left a note..” He was already starting to calm down. As soon as he knew you were okay and safe he found it hard to actually be mad. “You know you don’t need a job right? It’s not like I’m going to start charging you rent..”

You rubbed your thumb over his hand, “Yeah but you should. You’ve been helping me adjust and part of that means I need to make my own money. I cant depend on you forever.”

He scoffed, “Says who? You’re an idiot if you think I’d ever kick you out to fend for yourself. I may be an asshole but I’m not that mean.... Is it even safe for you to have a job.”

You smiled and lightly shrugged, “Why wouldn't it be?”

He narrowed his eyes, “Think about it... A public place where anyone could see you.”

“I’m here practically every day anyways!”

“Yeah but usually you're here with me...” He groaned, “Don’t make me get you a fucking babysitter. Because I fucking will.” 

You giggled, “Please Bakugo! It’s part time. I’ll only be here 3 days a week. I really want to do this. I need to do this.” 

He groaned again, “Fine. But I’m waiting until you get off and I’m walking you home. It’s late enough as it is and I dont want you walking home alone.” 

He started to walk towards one of the couches when you shouted after him, “Well you might as well order something while you wait! You’ll be my first customer.”

He could see how happy you were and it softened him up just the smallest bit, “Alright I’ll take the usual.”

You crinkled your nose, “Your usual or my usual?”

He cocked an eyebrow, “We have the same usual dumbass. You practically forced me to drink that girly cinnamon bun latte shit and now its unfortunately my favorite drink...”

You blushed, “Right.. Coming right up.”

He paid for his coffee and took a seat in his usual spot. The very same couch Riku had tried to get you to sit on earlier. You wondered if you should tell him about that. But you also barley got him to agree to you having a job. Not that he really had a say in what you do, but you still valued his opinion. You knew he would never say no to something unless he truly believed it was harmful in some way. 

You skipped around as you made the delicious latte that was also your favorite. Your mouth practically watering, craving one for yourself. When you were done you looked to Tasha. “So did I do it right?” 

Looking bored, “Considering how often you guys come in here, and how often I’ve had to make those... Yeah it looked like you did it right...” She took a step closer towards you, “You’ve worked pretty hard today and surprisingly haven't been a pain in my ass so how about I make you another one and you take a quick break with your boyfriend..”

“Oh, Bakugo isn’t my boyfriend. He’s my roommate. I can see why you'd be confused though. He's very protective. Believe me we’re working on that.” You fiddled with the lid of the coffee you had just made, “I just.... I just went through a lot. In a way its like I’m a bit broken and... well he’s taken it upon himself to help me put the pieces back together. Its not his job, and he knows that but he's determined to do it anyways.” 

Tasha gave you a regretful look before averting her eyes down to the floor, “I’m sorry... for being a bitch. Not that there’s any excuse but... I basically flirted with him like every day for years and he never even gave me a second look. And then all the sudden you were there and he was so nice and caring to you and I..  I was just a jealous bitch.. I’m sorry I hope you can forgive me.” She picked her eyes up to meet yours, “And just so you're know... He may not be your boyfriend officially, but he's definitely not just your roommate. In my experience guys don't care as much as he does unless they like you.” 

You felt yourself blush, “I promise you he doesn't like me the way that you think. He's just a really nice guy... and of course I can forgive you. I’m not the kind of person who holds grudges. Besides... I could really use a friend who isn't Bakugo.” 

Tasha smirked a bit, “I dont know if you want me as a friend. I dont know if you’ve heard but I’m kind of a brat.”

You laughed, “You're not so bad. As much as you didn't like me you never once gave me bad coffee. You always made my drink delicious despite hating me and I think that says a lot about you. You also had no reason to warn me about Riku but you did anyways. I think you're better than you give yourself credit for.” 

“OI! Dumbass! I know you’re new here but usually you get the persons coffee to them before it gets cold.” 

You both laughed and you rolled your eyes, “I better get his majesty his coffee before he explodes.” 

You walked over and plopped onto the couch besides Bakugo and handed him his coffee, “Has anyone ever told you you’re impatient?” 

He chuckled, “People dont usually have the balls too. But I think I’ve heard someone say that once or twice.” 

Tasha came up and handed you your coffee, “Alright just a quick break okay. 15 minutes and then I need to show you how to close up and clean the machines.” 

You smiled and took a sip, “Oh this is delicious thanks Tasha!” 

You turned back to Bakugo who was giving you such a soft smile.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that.”

He quirked an eyebrow “Is there anyone you cant wrap around your finer? That girl hated you yesterday and now she's smiling at you and making you coffee.”

You shrugged, “I find that being patient and empathetic gets you pretty far in life. You should try its sometime.”

“I think I’ll pass. But I will try this coffee... You didn’t poison it did you?” 

“Only a little bit, not enough to kill you though so don’t worry.”

He let out a heavy laugh, “Look at you, picking up on sarcasm already. I’m such bad influence on you.” He took a sip of his coffee and gave you an unreadable look. “Alright Y/n. I have to tell you... this coffee... is fantastic. I will be purchasing a latte machine for the apartment, and your rent will from here on out be you making me coffee. I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.” 

You were both laughing when you could hear someone clear their throat behind you. You turned to see Riku crossing his arms across his chest and looking very annoyed, “Y/n... We have a strict fraternization policy. We don’t allow our girls to sit with the customers while on shift for any reason.” 

Your hand immediately went to Bakugos arms and squeezed. Trying to signal for him to let you handle it. “Sorry Riku. This is my roommate Bakugo. Tasha said it was okay for me too take a quick break out here before we start closing up.” 

Bakugo was staring at Riku but it didnt seem to affect the man what so ever. Instead his eyes just flicked to where you hand was on Bakugo’s arm and he grew even angrier. “I don't care what Tasha said. I’m the manager. All breaks are to be taken in the break room. Employees only. And speaking of closing, it’s about time your little friend left.” 

Before you could stop him Bakugo was standing up and getting in Riku’s face, “You may be her boss, but you don’t tell me what to do. It’s late and it’s dark outside. So I’m going to sit my ass down on this couch until she’s ready to leave and then I’m going to walk her home. You got that asshole?” 

You were straight up panicking now. What was he doing? Was he trying to get you fired on your first day?! You put your hand on Bakugo’s chest, “Honestly I’m fine. You can wait outside if you want Bakugo it’s no big deal.”

You started to walk back to the counter when Riku grabbed you arm but his eyes remained glued to Bakugo’s, “If you know what's best for you you’ll wait outside. I have the power to make Y/n’s life here.... difficult. If she wants a job here then she has to follow my rules like the good little girl that she is...” He gave your ass a quick slap and that was it... all hell broke loose. 

Bakugo had Riku by the neck and pushed against the wall in seconds. His other hand that was sparking furiously up next to his face. “Who the FUCK do you think you're talking to?! I am Ground Mother Fucking Zero! You have NO RIGHT to touch her like that!” His hand got closer to Riku’s now terrified face. His voice dropped an octave and you had to admit it was terrifying, but it was also kind of... hot. “You’re fucking lucky I dont send you to the fucking hospital, but honestly I dont want to deal with the paperwork. So instead I want you to pack your shit like the good little boy that you are.... and get the fuck out. And you better fucking PRAY that I never see you again.” 

With that Bakugo threw him to the ground and turned too you. “You sure you need a job?”  

*****************************************************************************************************

Tags: @theoneforallkiddeku​ @dexterous-deku @salkandari98 @malibusurfer56​

@emotions-and-potions @carolinawindsay​ @fukyouthink​ @targaryens-blog​ @opentheskeletonkey​ 

[sangorous]

the spy.

eustass kid

word count: 972

bio: eustass is one of the famous mafia leaders and you were a famous spy for your family who used to be in the business until they retired. you married eustass, and  eustass asked you if you could be spy on charlotte linlin also known as big mom. after spying on her one of her workers suspected you and you have been held captive for two weeks now. 

genre/warnings: angst?/pain infliction, slight mention of blood, and slight torture.

author’s note: if this trash, once again i’m truly sorry! shaia <3 

(creds to owner!)

the sound of the water droplets dropping to the floor as your mouth became parched by the second. the sweat from your forehead dropping inside of your laceration wound stung, but you couldn't make any noise. every day since you've been here, your wrist and ankles have been burning from the cheap but effective ropes that they managed to use to keep you tied up and hanging as if you were a bear skin rug that belonged on the wall and then on the floor.

"you bitch, you're still going to be stubborn huh?" the voice chuckled.

the heavy footsteps made you anxious again, knowing that punishment was waiting for you, or maybe death if she was getting tired of you.

"all you have to do is tell who you're working for, or working with, or who's paying you to try and steal information from me and i'll set you free..." her laugh was loud but disturbing.

watching her laugh as she looked at you, boiled your blood. you could never sell your boss out, even during this moment now. your life was on the line, but you could never ever sell your boss out, that's not what you do in the mafia lifestyle. your parents taught you to never sell your family out because selling your family out meant instant death.

"oh i see, we're going to play another round of the silent game?" you could see the amusement in her face as she stared at you.

"you'd make a great meal to my pets, i'm sure you'd taste good." there goes her stupid laugh.

hearing that laughter made you mad, and brought you so much pain. to see her laughing and smiling as if this was fun, maybe to her but not for you. your head cocked back as the burning sensation made its way on the left side of your cheek, "is the new scar on the right side of your stomach, not enough?" the laughter stopped, "stupid bitch speak!" you kept your head down.

the feeling of her cold hands on your cheek was unpleasant. her cold gaze fixated into your soul made your body shiver. no doubt about it, she was a giant and you were just a regular-sized person. she was the size of a house while you were probably the size of a broom standing next to her, so her height was definitely intimidating to you.

"what's that old saying? if you're not going to speak, then i guess i have to make you speak." she chuckled.

you held your tears in as you felt the pain of the knife making its way deep into your skin. the cold and sharp blade made it harder for you to keep your cries in and you couldn't take it anymore. the painful cries left your lips as you tried not to scream his name out loud, and you knew that's what she wanted. she wanted you to blow your cover, but you weren't going to do so.

the warm blood trickled down your arm as you winced in pain. slap after slap after slap after slap, you could hear the frustration in her voice as she gave you one final slap to the face. you softly chuckled, knowing that even she had a breaking point herself, "you're laughing?" you could sense the anger in her tone, "what is so funny?" she wrapped her hand around your throat.

"no matter how hard you try, no matter how angry you get, i will never sell my boss out." you gasped with a small smirk on your face.

"then die!" she shouted. you could feel the grip on your neck becoming tighter as you kicked your legs around, hoping to at least hit her in any form.

"don't even think about it." she chuckled, her grip was gone as you coughed.

you knew that your time was becoming limited as you became her prisoner. sooner or later, your time would be done and you wouldn't be living in vain or without any regrets. if it meant that you were protecting your husband and knew that his hard work was going to pay off, then you were fine with dying.

meanwhile, he was worried. it has been two weeks since your mission has ended and you haven't returned. within those weeks, he hasn't been able to sleep. he couldn't sleep if he knew that something bad was happening with you, and he couldn't live with himself if he found out that you were dead.

"this all my fault..." he muttered, placing his hands on his head, "if i didn't send her on that mission she'd be here." he sighed, looking at the picture of you two at your honeymoon.

killer sat up from his chair and looked at his boss, he has never seen him like this, "with all due respect boss, when did you ever sit down and mope around?" eustass's eyes quickly made it's way towards killer, "when a situation like this happens, we plan a strategy and cause mayhem. the boss i know would've been planning everything already so that he could go rescue his wife, and our family member." killer finished, standing up.

killer was right and he knew so. eustass couldn't sit and mope around anymore, it wasn't like him to do so. he had to come up with a plan and rescue you quick, "killer i want everyone in the meeting room in five minutes!" with that being said, killer had a smirk on his face. that was the eustass he knew, ready to plan and attack.

"y/n, hold on. we're coming..." he got up from the chair and walked over to the meeting room.

[marshmallowprotection]

I wanted to do something for this au, cause I love it with all my heart 💜 and also cause I love ouran@jessie4098

These parties were always the worst, the people were all either kiss-asses, obnoxious, or rude. Seeing how some of the people treated the staff made bora’s blood boil. But, since Jumin has done so much for Bora, the least she can do in return is be on her best behavior.

Jumin was talking to some ceos of other companies and bora could see some of the guys around her age being scolded. A guy around bora’s height stood next to her, mousy brown hair and big brown eyes, but he seems different than most of the other teenagers at the party.

“ hi, I saw that you were standing here alone, would you mind some company?” The man said, bowing his head,” I’m Haruhi Fujioka, it’s nice to meet you,”

Bora has gone through this many times before, they introduce themselves and then leave when they don’t recognize bora’s last name,” I’m sorry, but I’m not rich,” that usually gets them off of her back. But Haruhi just smiled.

“ Neither am I, my friends just drag me along to their family parties, this is actually first time out of japan,” Haruhi said, giving bora a reassuring smile.

“ those are some friends you got there then. I’m Bora Kim, “ as Bora and Haruhi were talking, a set of red headed twins made their way towards them, interrupting a very pleasant conversation.

“ Haruhi, you know you should stick with one of the other members,” one of them said, throwing an arm around Haruhi, while the other agreed with him.

“ yeah yeah, I know the lecture. Bora, this is Hikaru,” pointing to the one on her right, and then pointing to the other twin,” this is Karou,”

They both stepped up,” we’re the Hitachiin twins, we never heard of you before,” they said in perfect unison.

Bora was a bit uncomfortable, not knowing how to deal with these types of situations, she wasn’t sure that she should be here in the first place but they just keep questioning her.

“ Hikaru, Karou, have I taught you nothing, you have to be kind and curtious to people when they are uncomfortable,” a voice said from behind the twins,

“ it’s not our fault boss, “ they say in perfect unison again as a really tall blonde dramatically, grabbing bora’s hands as he leans down to eye level with bora, making her extremely uncomfortable,

“ I apologize for their crude behavior, they are still so inexperienced with how to handle a fragile flower’s emotions such as yourself,” it looked like he was about to cry

Bora had no clue what to say, so she just slipped her hands out from his, giving Haruhi the side eye,” um, it’s fine, but could you back up, you’re really close,”

Luckily he backs away, profusely apologizing,” I am sorry my princess, please forgive me. My name is Tamaki Suoh, and you are,”

“ I’m Bora Kim, and don’t worry about it.” She could see the puzzled look on his face trying to figure out who’s family she is from.

“ Bora Kim, forgive me but I’m having trouble remembering what family you belong to,” he says as another guy approaches, tall, slender, black hair and glasses.

“ Kyoya! There you are! We were just introducing ourselves to Bora Kim, come say hi!” Tamaki says, and Kyoya approaches with a business smile, one anyone who knows what to look for can see how fake it is.

“ Ms. Kim, it is a pleasure to meet you, I have heard many things about you, and as you know our fathers are close business partners.” He says in a kind tone.

“ the pleasure is mine,” Bora says, not having a clue if what he is saying is true or not, so she figures taking a safe route would be best.

“ C&R and the Ootori conglomerate work closely together on certain projects so I am sure that this is not the last time we will meet,” he says in a kind, but also threatening manner.

“ Wait, you’re the orphan Jumin Han adopted! So you’re kinda like Haruhi!”

“ I wouldn’t say that Tamaki-sempai” Haruhi says in an unamused tone. Bora looks around as the group talks amongst themselves when she sees Jumin wave her over.

“ it was really great to meet you all, but I must be going now,” Bora is so relieved to get out of there, but the stress doesn’t stop, Jumin introduces Bora to many more of his business partners, each one more intimidating.

Bora sees a little slip where she get her away and she takes it, sneaking out through the kitchen and stumbling into a secluded garden she sits on a bench, just needing to take a breather. Thinking she is alone, bora begins to talk to the birds and a bunny. Little does she know, another person was watching this whole ordeal.

Seeing another person in the garden looking a bit overwhelmed, bora stands up and immediately apologizes,” I am so sorry, I didn’t know someone else would be here,”

“ no need to apologize,” a smooth deep voice says, a tan guy who has extremely long legs and is quite handsome says, nodding his head in a way that gestures that she can stay.

“ I’m Bora Kim,”

“I’m Takashi Morinozuka, “ he says as another person bursts into the room, a short boy with blonde hair holding two slices of cake.

“ Takashi! I brought you some cake! But who is your friend?”

“ I’m bora Kim, sorry for intruding, I’ll get going.” Bora says as she makes her way to the door.

“ Wait! You look like you need to relax a bit, get some air. You can stay, right Takashi?” The small blonde boys says as Takashi nods his head yes. “ I’m Mitsukuni Haninozuka, Takashi’s cousin, but everyone calls me hunny!It’s very nice to meet you. Would you like some cake?”

Bora smiles as Hunny pats the seat in between him and Takashi( hunny is the best wingman) taking a seat hunny noticed how his cousin blushes and keeps stealing glances at bora, especially when a few animals come and sit right next to bora. The three of them talked for hours, laughing and when it got a bit cold out, Takashi put his suit jacket over bora’s shoulders without bora asking, or even saying anything. The jacket engulfed bora, and she notices how good he smells.

It unfortunately came to an end when jumin entered with two other sets of parents trying to find their kids. But when they entered they saw bora and Takashi having a deep conversation while hunny was asleep on her lap. The Morinozuka parents and Jumin gave each other a knowing glance as their kids exchanged numbers, and saw the blushes in their kids faces.

When bora tried to give back Takashi’s jacket he told her that he can pick it up tomorrow, and that it’s too cold for her not to wear a jacket right now. Jumin felt conflicted, on one hand it is good that bora is becoming more of a normal teenager, and it’s great that this possible love interest comes from a very respected family and their boy is chivalrous, but in the other hand he doesn’t want her to get hurt. But seeing Bora smile, that was the best part of the evening

( sorry this was so long, I might want to make a part 2 though) - submission 

HELP IT’S SO WHOLESOME I’M GONNA SCREAM

Local teenage wonder Bora Kim, though, she’s been presenting herself as Bora Han as of late when she’s around some stuffy rich people just to make a point that yes, she is adopted and yes, she was wanted. She can be a little chaotic and she can be a little crass, but on the inside, she’s a breath of fresh air and she just wants to go back to something calm and simple.

 She isn’t sure that she may ever see that. The RFA is always great and she loves having fun and tormenting them, but when she’s alone like this, trying to make sure she’s on her best behavior for Jumin’s sake, she always feels like a fish out of water. She’s nowhere near as poised as these guys. She does her best with her manners, but God, it’s hard. 

Everyone thinks she’s a charity case. 

She sees pity and jealousy. 

But, then, wow, she starts pining over someone that is so gentle and a man of few words? It seems like something she would never do but boy if that isn’t what is happening right now and I kind of ship it oh my god

[kathyprior4200]

HAZBINUVA BOSS

A meeting was in progress at the Hazbin Hotel. Five demons were seated around a large wooden rectangular table near where the bar was.  The window and door that Sir Pentious’ machine had blown up were now repaired thanks to Alastor. (The door now had an elaborate skull with antlers hanging above the door frame.) The group sat in high-backed leather chairs with spikes on the rims. A pentagram was in the center of the table, drawn in white. Charlie, the blonde haired princess was standing up and writing words down on a whiteboard. Vaggie sat in a chair close by, glaring at everyone else with her gray hands clasped together on the table. Angel had his long legs propped up on the table off to the right. Alastor sat in-between Husk and Niffty. Husk moved further away from them and then stopped when Angel inched closer with his chair. In front of everyone were bowls of fresh Jambalaya, almost finished.

 “Thank you so much for making your meal for us,” Charlie said with a smile, turning from the board.

 “Anytime, dear!” Alastor replied. “I had used up a lot of my magic and I figured all of us would be hungry. Figured it’d be a great way to celebrate the start of your Haz…Happy Hotel!”

 “Wow Al!” Angel exclaimed. “That was some delicious grub!”

Everyone nodded and hummed in agreement. Even Vaggie had to admit it was delicious.

 “Thank you,” Alastor said with a smile. “It’s my mother’s special recipe…I even put in gunpowder for an explosive effect!” He laughed. “That was what almost killed her. She had too much Southern Comfort and decided to pour gunpowder while the jambalaya was in the pan…it blew up in her face! I tried it and the kick was straight outta Hell!”

 “Oh my,” Niffty said with a brief gasp. “You really should be more careful next time. It could leave a big mess.”

 “I try my hardest, dear,” he said to Niffty, which caused the small cyclops demon to blush.

 Alastor continued. “Did you know that hunters in Louisiana would often add game meat to their dishes? Deer, duck, and other animals they hunted. I did it all the time. Venison was my favorite…but human flesh gave it that extra flavor that was simply divine!”

 Vaggie, Angel, and Charlie made disgusted faces. “Can we please not bring that up?” Charlie asked, coming to sit down.

 “But I just did,” he replied nonchalantly.

 Vaggie stared hard at her bowl, eye twitching, fearful of finding any part that may have looked vaguely human. Niffty had licked her bowl clean…literally. Husk was busy drinking another bottle of booze.

 “What the flying, fuck, Alastor?!” Angel stated. “I love your looks and all, but try and tone down on the cannibalism.”

 Alastor leaned in slightly closer to Angel. “I read somewhere that some people on Earth consume insects in their diet. Including spiders.”

 Angel’s eyes widened in fear, but soon, his pink pupils dilated. “You would…try and eat me?” he asked with a grin, pink gloved hand moving just a hair toward his dick.

 Alastor deciphered what he was implying and replied with a haughty “No. Not in that way.”

 “Your loss,” Angel called as the Radio Demon moved away from the white feminine dressed spider.

 Vaggie narrowed her eyes a Husk. “Can we at least not drink during a meeting?”

 “Hasn’t started yet,” Husk replied, not even looking at her.

 Vaggie mentioned to the bar with her spear. “That bar shouldn’t even be here!”

 “I think it’s a necessary thing to have,” Angel replied. “Gotta have some liquor to enjoy between the pole dancing performances and stripping and…”

 “The hotel is not a strip club, Angel!” Vaggie pressed on.

 Alastor conjured a glass of Cornac in his hand with dark red magic and began to drink.

 Angel grinned widely, one of his top sharp teeth golden. “See? The strawberry pimp agrees, too!”

 A growl rumbled in Alastor’s throat as he glanced in Angel’s direction.

 “What the…” Husk gasped. “No fair!” He clenched his claws. “I’ve had it with your fucking games and showing off.” He looked like a cat ready to pounce.

 “What’d you plan to do, Husker? Fight me and lose your job?”

 The Radio Demon’s tone was laced with warning. A grumbling Husk got the message and sank back in his chair.

 “That’s what I thought.”

 Charlie banged her fist on the table, getting everyone’s attention. “Alright then! If you all are done with your meals…”

 Alastor snapped his fingers and the bowls vanished. Husk glanced at where his bowl was before. “I wasn’t done yet!”

 “…let’s get down to business with our first group meeting.”

 Charlie in her white tuxedo with a black bow tie, stood up and walked over to the white board. She held a wooden pointer in her hands.

 On the board, the words “Happy Hotel” were written in rainbow letters. Random drawings of unicorns, puppies, flowers, and smiling stick figures of demons decorated the board off to the side.

 “First and foremost, welcome to the Happy Hotel! I’m Charlie and I’m the founder of this place. How about we introduce ourselves?”

 “Babe, we ain’t kids ya know,” Angel remarked. “Besides, I already know the names of you guys.”

 “And frankly, I could care less,” Husk added.

 “I am Alastor, the Radio Demon! Pleasure to meet all of you!”

 “That radio voice of yours is getting on my nerves,” Vaggie muttered under her breath. “That wasn’t even necessary.”

 “What was that?” Alastor asked with a tilt of his head. “Speak up. Say it a bit louder for the people in the back.”

 Charlie looked at Vaggie who pointed to something on the board. The look in her eyes was telling Charlie to move on.

 “O-okay then,” Charlie said. “With the introductions over…ground rules!”

 Vaggie nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

 “Rule number one: Treat each other the way you want to be treated. Be kind to each other or at least tolerant.”

 Angel smirked. “Easier said than done.”

 Alastor rolled his eyes and laughed.

 Charlie put her hands on her hips. “You guys think this is all a joke, but I don’t. If you want to stay here, then you have to put in some effort. Even if it’s little steps every day.”

 “Like I said before, you can’t baby us into good behavior,” Angel said. “Are we like your students or something?”

 “Clients, yes,” she replied.

 “You’re just a teen, darling,” Alastor added. “You don’t have any experience with being formerly human or know about how Hell really works. I’m surprised you made it this far after your entertaining fiasco on the picture show.”

 That hit her hard. Alastor grinned in amusement at the stunned look on her face. His laugher rang in her ears (if she even had any).

 Charlie had dealt with snide comments like that for many years. Helsa and Katie Killjoy were the worst, never hesitating to bring her down with comments on her clothing, her silly ideas, or her clown-like appearance.

 “She’s a living joke!” Helsa would say, earning a snicker from her brother Seviathan. “Look at her blushing cheeks and tuxedo. Hey, you gonna juggle demon heads for us, princess?”

 A younger Helsa was standing with a bunch of mean girls by a row of lockers (resembling Zootopia school girls with animal-like features.)

“Hey, look! It’s the gay princess of rainbows!” Helsa called. “I wanna see you smooch those loser girls over there. A love fest for freaks!”

A girl with a white ponytail and glasses whispered to another girl who stretched out her leg and made Charlie trip…papers flying everywhere as their laughter screeched around her.

 “Well, looks like your project is dead on arrival,” Katie Killjoy had said, getting into her face. “How does it feel to be such a failure?”

 “Listen well, Charlotte, because I won’t say this again,” Lucifer had warned her back at home. “If you know what’s good for you, you will give up on your foolish idea and start behaving like an adult.”

“But I am an adult!” Charlie protested, no longer struggling. “And I’ve decided as princess to continue on with opening the hotel. It will be what’s best for us.”

Flames sparked in Lucifer’s eyes. “If you think causing a war is what’s best for us, then you are gravely mistaken. I had high hopes for you all these years. But now…you’re nothing but a failure.”

 “Charlie?”

 A familiar voice cut in. Charlie looked to see concern in Vaggie’s yellow eye.

Vaggie enveloped her gray hand into Charlie’s pale one and gave it a comforting squeeze. The feeling seemed to bring her back from her plaguing thoughts.

She took a breath.

 “Well, that may be true,” she began, regaining her composure, “But my parents taught me a lot about Hell as well as their histories. I know I’m new at this project and I’ve never interacted much with a lot of people. But I’m learning new things every day from sinners like you all. I do my best every day because I know that there is good in every one of you. And I’m not going to give up on my goal. I’m offering you all a second chance; you could start doing the same for me.”

 Alastor was a bit taken aback, if not impressed with how well she recovered.

 “Inside of every demon is a failure,” Alastor sang softly.

 “You don’t know the song, do you?” Charlie spoke up, briefly startling him. She smirked. “And besides, I’m older than all of you. I’m over 150 years old.”

 Everyone stared in stunned silence. Angel’s mouth was open and he breathed “say what?” Booze sputtered from Husk’s mouth and the winged cat demon coughed. Niffty scurried over and wiped up the spilled drops off the table. Alastor’s mouth was almost hitting the floor. But shortly after that, he cleared his throat and added, “You’re beautiful all the same.”

 He winked and Charlie let out a giggle. Vaggie gave a deadpan stare at Alastor, gripping her harpoon tighter in her hands.

 “Rules!” Charlie proclaimed, getting back to the topic. “First rule is the Golden Rule. Be kind and respectful to everyone.”

 Rule number two: No drinking during the day or past curfew. Angel. Husk.”

 She stared at them. “You better be listening.”

 “I’m listening,” Husk said. “I just don’t care.”

 “I can take that booze away from you,” Vaggie said.

 “Try it bitch.”

 “Enough, enough! Rule number three: no drugs of any kind. Angel.”

 “Rule number four; no distributing porn. Again, Angel, take note of this.”

 “For fuck’s sake, sugar!” Angel replied. “You trying to make my life miserable here?”

 “Do you want to stay rent free or not, bastard?” Vaggie added.

 “Touché,” Angel said, calming down.

 “Rule number five: No murdering or harming any guests or staff members. Applies to everyone. Especially Alastor.”

 “What?” he said with a chuckle. “If I wanted to hurt anyone here…”

 “You would’ve done so already. We get it,” Vaggie yelled, walking over to him, spear at the ready. “Bullshit. If you won’t take that rule seriously…I can make sure that you do.”

“Rule number six, no swearing.”

 Husk let out a series of cuss words in response.

 “Vaggie, Husk, and Angel Dust, this rule is for you.”

 None of them looked happy about it.

 Alastor looked smug in his seat. “That’s one rule I don’t have to worry about.”

 He appeared next to Charlie after materializing from shadow. He placed her hand son her shoulders. “But what’s say you? You’ve let out some swear words as well. I heard you on the picture show.”

 Charlie looked flustered. “Y-yes, I know. I’m working on that too.”

 Alastor cupped her cheeks and tilted the corners of her mouth upwards. “No frowns allowed, dear. That’s another rule.”

 “Get away from her, you psycho!” Vaggie called, holding her spear and walking beside Charlie.

 “It’s okay Vaggie,” Charlie assured.

��Alastor poked the girls’ noses and materialized back in his seat.

 “Rule number seven: respect personal space at all times. Applies to everyone. Especially now that there’s a pandemic going around.”

 Alastor nodded. “A very important rule to have. The six foot rule! Angel Dust over there will have to follow it if he wants his fingers to stay intact.”

 Angel backed up in his seat.

 “But you will too, Al,” Charlie mentioned. “Just because you don’t like to be touched, doesn’t mean you can just touch others whenever you want.”

 Charlie felt cold hands wrap around her waist. She glanced down and they were long and black. The air behind her felt cold and hummed with dark power. She looked back and stared into a shadowy face with blank teal eyes and a creepy teal grin.

 “Argh!” Charlie jumped back in fright. Alastor’s shadow vanished.

 “Don’t do that, Alastor!”

 Alastor chuckled. “I didn’t touch you or anything. Surely, the no touching rule doesn’t apply all the time. How else would we dance and have fun?”

 Charlie sighed, “Good point there.”

 “Splendid!”

 “Alright, now onto a list of possible solutions and goals to work toward. Vaggie helped me with this list.”

 Charlie walked around the room and passed out identification papers unique to each individual that listed the subject’s dates of death, their sins and rehabilitation strategies. Extra copies were kept in a folder in Charlie’s desk.

 “No sharing any personal info,” said Charlie. “Anyone who wants to talk about personal issues can do so in their own time.”

 Everyone looked at her with appreciation in their eyes.

“To briefly list them out with Vaggie’s help:

 “Angel Dust: drug therapy and gradual lessening of the cocaine and angel dust. Only drinking in the evenings or every other day. Frequent injections of medicine for sobering effect. Refrain from doing turf wars. No use of guns and weapons permitted in the hotel unless for self-defense. Rewards for cooperation include: staying rent free, making new friends, payment as progress goes on.”

 “Alastor: No invading other people’s space. Any murder, harm or demonic possession will result in dismissal and use of harpoon weapon. Use of dark magic on anyone is prohibited. No making deals with anyone. Rewards for cooperation include: jambalaya, jazz dances, singing, and the willingness to hear dad jokes.”

 “Husk: No stealing or hoarding liquor or any alcoholic beverages. We know that you do. Try and spend more time for alternative activities such as magic shows and similar gambling games that involve either less money or fake money. Rewards for cooperation include: catnip, weekend booze, money, and extra alone time.”

Charlie had written the next part for Vaggie:

 “Vaggie: Take deep breaths and focus on me whenever temper arises. Refrain from swearing and killing if possible. Have faith that this project will work and keep supporting me. It’s much appreciated. Reward: new friends and spending time with me.”

 “Niffty: don’t lift others up or cause any chaos. We know you’re capable of murder as well, so same rules: no murder, apply. Stalking men will result in a warning. Keep up the cooking and cleaning but don’t get too carried away. (rumor has it that you and Husk dispose bodies for Alastor, so watch your backs.) Rewards for cooperation include: spare time for reading, writing, and sharing fanfiction.”

 Charlie glanced down and saw a section of advice for her written by Vaggie:

 “Charlie: Refrain from swearing and getting too involved with the lives of other clients. It will take a while for demons to get redeemed, let alone go to Heaven, so be patient. Don’t be afraid to be stern and strict when necessary. You see the good in everyone, so bring out all their good traits while acknowledging the bad. Never give up on your goal, no matter what others may say. And most importantly:

BE CAUTIOUS OF ALASTOR.”

 Charlie smiled at Vaggie who smiled back genuinely. She mouthed “I love you,” and Charlie did the same.

 “Well, that pretty much covers it,” she said brightly. “We plan on having weekly meetings whenever we can. If any of you wish to talk about your personal issues, you can speak to me in private for a session.”

 Vaggie nodded.

 “Now…onto the fun part! The games I planned out!”

 She held up drawings.

 Vaggie groaned and facepalmed.

 “Karaoke nights! Bingo! Strawberry cake desserts and cupcakes to share! Demon Dance Revolutions on stage! Bring your pets to work day! Arts and crafts and meet and greets! Sociological issues in Hell with Vaggie. And every Sunday, tales of Heaven and happiness!”

 Now everyone had given up on taking her seriously. Some even began fidgeting or standing up to leave.

 “I’ll stick with pole dancing,” said Angel.

 “And gambling,” said Husk.

 “Don’t forget dad jokes!” Alastor added.

 “18+ fanfictions to share,” said Niffty. “My favorite: When Vox, Sir Pentious, and Alastor Cared for Me in Bed!”

 Everyone gasped in surprise and disgust. The group parted ways, agreeing to meet back in the lobby.

 Alastor briefly walked out of the room and up onto the balcony. His staff lit up.

 “Hello there, you fabulous sinful folk! It is I, Alastor the Radio Demon coming to you live from…”

 He briefly looked behind him to see that Charlie wasn’t watching,

 “…the Hazbin Hotel! What is it, you ask? It is a unique little joint run by Princess Charlotte that aims to rehabilitate sinners. Yes, what a crazy idea indeed, but apparently, she already has a few clients waiting to stay there. It’s been getting boring around here and I think the princess and her friends could use some extra company. If you’re looking for a place to stay, or to hang out, or if you simply want to try and be a better person only to fail miserably at it…come on over! And it’s free as well!”

 He laughed and basked in his glory. Keeping his promise to Blitzo, he added,

 “…If you ever want demons or even humans to die after doing you wrong, contact the Immediate Murder Professionals. A lovely trio of imps in Imp City, they’ll kill your intended targets anyway you wish, both in Hell and on Earth! Decapitation, disembowelment, suffocation… you name it, they’ll do it. Goodbye humans, hello justice! Bonus: kids die for free!”

 He snapped his fingers and a jazzy version of the I.M.P. Jingle played on air.  

 “I’ll see you around next time, here on 66.6FM. And as always, smile and stay tuned!”

 The staff blinked off.

 “Alastor?” Charlie called from inside. “What were you doing? I heard some music out from the balcony.”

 Alastor turned around. “Hello, my dear! I just came out for some fresh air.”

 “Where you just on the radio?” she asked.

 “Yes. Nothing much, just advertising your hotel to the public.”

 Now it was Charlie’s turn for her jaw to hit the floor. A mixture of elation, surprise, and nervousness spurred through her core.

 “Y-You what?”

 Alastor laughed. “I did say I wanted to help, didn’t I? So I figured, why not spread the word to a wider audience?”

 Charlie smiled but was also shaking. If it was true, then now everyone would know about the hotel. Including Helsa, Katie, her parents…

 On the one hand, it was the start of a dream come true. More people would folk to the front doors in the hopes of possibly redeeming themselves in the future.  

 On the other hand, she’d now be a potential laughing stock for everyone in Hell. Her embarrassment at the news station was awful enough. Now there could be more demons out there who would dismiss her idea just like that.

 In the back of her head, she wondered about the other overlords. Would they be willing to come to the hotel as well? Could they track her location and harm her when she was by herself?

 And what would her parents think of this? The last thing she wanted was another lecture from her father of how her plan seemed unreasonable, ridiculous and a waste of time.

 But then again…she had her friends with her. She had Alastor to protect her. If she wanted to prove herself, she would have to get started somehow.

 “Thank you, Al. I don’t know what to say,” she finally said.

 “Think nothing of it, my dear. More people means more entertainment, doesn’t it?”

 Charlie walked back inside, soon surrounded by the others. She stared into each of their eyes and saw something she’d never thought she’d see: sparks of hope and support. Genuine smiles on their faces, even for Husk. Each individual leading different lives but all connected together in a strange bond. A band of misfits, brought together by herself and fate. The downtrodden brought to a place of comfort, where they could be themselves while working toward getting into paradise.

 It was the start of something special. Of potentially making a difference and changing her world.

 “Charlie?” Vaggie asked.

 “Yes,” she said.

 Vaggie mentioned to the door. A series of knockings could be heard. Charlie walked toward the door, hesitantly reaching for the handle before swinging it open.

 A pair of three imps and a hellhound stood in the doorway. The one in front had a white and red face with yellow eyes, long curved horns and a black mark on his forehead. The shorter imp to his right had white hair, a red face, yellow eyes and shorter horns. Both of them wore navy blue business suits, their long pointed red tails behind them. The other imp was dressed in a black tank top with torn pants. She had lone eyelashes and eye rows, plus a red face and wild black hair. Finally, the white furry hellhound was dressed in street clothing: torn short pants, a spiked collar around her neck and a tank top held in place with string shaped like a downward pointing pentagram.

 “Can I help you?” she asked.

 “Is this the Hazbin Hotel?” asked the imp in front. “The Radio Demon kindly advertised our company and so we decided to see what this Hazbin business is about.”

 “No, this is the Happy Hotel,” she said, confusion etched onto her face.

 “The sign up there read Hazbin,” said the shorter male imp.

 The first imp spoke. “So you’re the princess that the Radio Demon talked about. Redeeming sinners, right?”

 Charlie scratched the back of her neck. “Yes.”

 Blitzo laughed. “My, that’s a first when it comes to hilarious ideas. And I thought Stolas was crazy in the head.”

 Charlie flushed, eyes downward.

 “But hey, don’t worry, we’re just here for a visit. At Alastor’s request.”

 Those words sent an unforeseen chill down her spine. He wondered what he meant by that.

 Making an effort to be polite, she held out her hand. “I’m Charlie.”

 “Blitzo!” said the imp in front, shaking her hand. “The o is silent. Head of I.M.P. This is Moxxie, Millie, and my dear Loony. May we come in?”

 “Sure.”

 Blitzo proudly walked in, followed by a grumpy Moxxie, an excited Millie and an indifferent Loona.

 Vaggie gasped in shock as the group came in. Angel, Husk and Niffty soon took notice.

 “Hello there good friends!” Alastor greeted. He had clearly been expecting them. He turned to Niffty. “Niffty, it’s your turn to make some jambalaya for our new guests!”

 “I’m on it!” she beamed before dashing of toward the kitchen.

 “Jamba-what now?” Moxxie asked.

 “Jambalaya, a Creole specialty dish from New Orleans. Rice, shrimp, vegetable, meat, and fresh flesh mixed in if you prefer.”

 “Sounds ravishing to me!” Millie said.  She looked around at the hotel. “Wow, this place is quite something! It may not be the fanciest one but it’s better than the slums and halfway houses in Imp City.”

 She turned to Blitzo, “Blitzo can we please stay a night or two?”

 “No Millie, this is a place for sinners, not for us hellborn. Besides, we’ll have to go back to headquarters once our visit is over.”

 Millie pouted a bit.

 Moxxie folded his arms. “Getting sent here for a ”meet and greet.” Pathetic. We’re treated like dirt day in and day out by Hell society. Why visit a random hotel down the pit?”

 “Because,” Blitzo said, eyes shining. “Alastor promised me a taste of musical theater and entertainment. The two of us on stage!”

 “That’s right!” he chimed in. “I heard about I.M.P. on the picture show. It was the least I could do to show my support. And here I am supporting Charlie with her hotel. It does feel good to help out others.”

 Charlie cupped her face and beamed in delight. Millie and Niffty stood and giggled as they watched Alastor from a distance. Vaggie and everyone else looked suspicious. Vaggie seriously doubted that Alastor actually meant what he said. He was only concerned about entertaining himself and using others for his benefit.

 Blitzo and Moxxie exchanged worried looks. The hidden mark of Kalfu and Alastor hummed inside their heads. The three imps were, in fact, summoned to the hotel just after Alastor’s announcement. Loona quickly tracked them down, almost pulled in after then as well. She, too, felt a pinch of dark energy inside her.

 Moxxie opened his mouth speak, but no sound came out. He tried to use his hands for sign language, but a dark shadow seemed to hold his fingers in place. A look of fear was etched onto his face. He stared at Charlie, desperate to tell her, but he could only blink and move his eyes. Charlie was oblivious, of course. Vaggie and Angel were merely concerned. Niffty and Husk felt the same energy pulsing from inside their heads like a dark heartbeat. They knew that just like the newcomers, they couldn’t do anything but wait and watch. By the time the others figured out they had made deals with Alastor, he’d probably brush them aside, having no use for them. There was no way to tell, so they stopped thinking about it.

 “Is something the matter, good sir?” Alastor asked, grin stretching slightly.

A flash of a recent memory at headquarters…

 A very slow “Shave and a Haircut” knock filled up the silence. It came from behind the door that led to the hallway.

 Loona and Husk froze, maws open in mid-brawl. Moxxie raised his eyebrows and suddenly started to shiver. Millie and Blitzo suddenly felt an oncoming sense of dread. Husk crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. Niffty, however, clapped her hands in excitement. She took some steps forward, but froze at Moxxie’s glare.

 “Do not answer the door,” Moxxie whispered in a harsh tone.

 Niffty stared in confusion. “Why not? He’s my friend.”

 Moxxie narrowed his eyes.

 “From the other side!” Niffty emphasized.

 “Just don’t go any further.”

 Niffty grinned and tiptoed closer to the door.

 “No, no, no,” Moxxie breathed, moving his hands across in a signal. “Stop right there.”

 Niffty stopped and slowly reached her thin black hand toward the round handle.

 “Oh for Lucifer’s sake!” Blitzo announced, walking toward the door. “It’s Niffty’s coworker. How bad can he be?”

 He opened the door and grinned. “Hi I’m Blitz…”

 His eyes widened and his face fell.

 “…o.”

 Blitzo stared at a towering tall demon wearing a tattered red dress coat with vertical thin stripes. Burgundy colored pants covered his legs and ended in red patches along the ends. He wore black dress shoes with red deer print marks on the soles. His undershirt was red and had an upside down black cross as part of the design. A black bow tie was displayed below his slender neck. One of his four clawed hands held a red vintage microphone staff.

 Blitzo stuttered, at a loss for words. Fear was constricting his throat. He stuttered as he looked up at the man’s face, “Welcome…”

 Blitzo stared at the man’s red and black hair, with large deer ears and antlers. His large red eyes blinked to life from a pale face. A monocle gleamed under his right eye.

 “…to…”

 The man displayed a grin of sharp yellow teeth, his smile too wide to be considered natural.

 “…I.M.P…”

 The demon opened his mouth, “Hell…”

 Blitzo slammed the door, catching his breath. He opened it a crack…

 “…o!”

 Closed it again. “Guys…” he began.

 “What?” Moxxie asked in frustration.

 “I think we need to move away. Niffty, could you please send your friend away? He’s giving me the creeps.”

 Niffty shook her head.

 “Don’t let him in, sir!” Moxxie said. Husk nodded in agreement.

 Millie gasped, “That’s a rude way to treat a guest!”

 “Okay then, do you want to open the door?”

 Millie gulped.

 Blitzo sighed and opened it again.

 “May I speak now?” the man asked.

 “Sure, whatever,” Blitzo muttered.

 The overlord swooped into the room. “Greetings fellow sinners! I’m Alastor but people call me the Radio Demon. I heard from my little darling Niffty that you imps are part of an assassination organization, yes?”

 Blitzo took a deep breath and cleared his throat. A smile appeared on his face, now that he was feeling confident. “That’s correct, good sir! I’m Blitzo and I’m the founder of the Immediate Murder Professionals, I.M.P. for short.”

 Alastor laughed. “What a clever name! I.M.P. run by imps! And who are your associates?”

 Blitzo mentioned to the other imps, “This is Moxxie and Millie.” Millie waved and blushed while Moxxie glowered.

 Loona looked up from her phone.

 “…and this is my sweet daughter, Loona,” Blitzo finished.

 Loona growled and snapped her teeth at Alastor, causing him to take a step back. Retaining his composure, he continued. “That little maid is Niffty, and that cat over there is Husk. I saw your commercial on the picture show and was intrigued. Murdering people in gruesome ways…a classic form of entertainment! It even makes my methods look standard. All thanks to Niffty for finding your location.”

 Niffty smiled and waved.

 “Next time, don’t mention Imp City in the ad,” Moxxie spat at Blitzo in a low voice.

 Alastor walked slightly closer to Blitzo, leaning in. “Is it true that you have access to the living world?”

 “Uh…yes?” Blitzo answered. He felt Alastor’s fingers make their way along his curved horns. Despite himself denying it, Blitzo felt his cheeks go pink.

 “And you can create portals? Splendid, indeed. There’s no other being in Hell who can do that.”

 “Smooth liar,” Husk muttered from a distance.

 “That’s right!” Blitzo replied. “Our company has special access to the living world due to our abilities. I may have also stolen a Satanic ritual book from a bird dick overlord several days ago. Top secret.”

 Moxxie’s face turned purple, he made the hand signal for “zip it!” to Blitzo, but of course, he wasn’t paying attention.

 Alastor smiled and put a finger to his lips. “Rest assured, whatever happens here, stays here.”

 He waved his hand and two bottles of booze appeared in front of Husk.  

 “You might think you can keep getting away with bribing me like that…” Husk said, narrowing his eyes, “…but we both know you can!” He picked up a bottle and started drinking. Loona snatched the other one.

  “What exactly are you doing here, anyway?” Moxxie demanded to Alastor.

 “Why I’m here to help out your company, of course! I’m already involved in helping Charlie with her hotel, so I figured I could expand my horizons.”

 The Radio Demon walked over to Millie. “Hello, dear, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 He gently kissed her red hand, making her giggle.

 Moxxie slapped his hand away. “No one touches my wife, you got that?”

 Alastor just shrugged and walked toward the table.

  “Don’t you walk away from me, Mister!” Mooxie stood from his chair and walked over to him. He pointed at his chest, making the demon’s smile more strained. “You look like a shady showman to me, so listen here. You have no business whatsoever in interfering with our company. Or messing around with my coworkers and my boss. So, don’t go around harming anyone here, or we’ll kick you out of our office…or just slice you to bits, Dapper Deer!”

 Alastor just laughed softly. Millie and Blitzo walked over to calm Moxxie down.

 “If I wanted to hurt anyone here…” Alastor said…

 He then spoke in a creepy tone: “I would’ve done so already.”

His eyes turned into red moving radio dials and the air filled with radio static and floating red voodoo symbols.

 He shook his head and the sensations ceased. His eyes returned to normal. “So, now let’s talk about how I can help you out.”

 “What?” Millie asked.

 “How can I be of assistance? You want donations? Promotion? An upgraded outfit?”

 Blitzo scoffed, “My outfit is great enough as it is. But… you said something about promotions?”

  Alastor nodded. “You ever feel like your work goes unrecognized?”

 “Yeah,” Blitzo replied. “People do come to us a lot to murder people, but…”

 Alastor tilted his head…

 Blitzo continued, “…but the imps and residents here look down on us. Not to mention even the sinners brush us aside like we’re trash. That’s why we’ve kept to ourselves a lot. We imps have to stick together…and hellhounds, too.”

 Loona rolled her eyes.

 “But your company is so unique, and with such special access, I don’t know why others would look down on you,” Alastor mentioned. “Whoever those horrible people are…who are they?”

 “My asshole father,” Blitzo said. “He’s kept me from achieving my musical theater dreams.”

 Alastor placed a hand on Blitzo’s shoulder. He spoke in his sympathetic tone, reserved for making others feel at ease.

 “Oh, believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve loved singing and music ever since I can remember. And my dad…well it’s a long story, too tragic to go into. Have you ever thought of…killing the person in your way? It’s surprisingly simple, and you of all people should know.”

 “I…um…”

 Moxxie nodded. “I had a dream that my parents were being murdered, and I wanted to get back to that.”

 “What if I told you…there was a way for your dreams to come true?”

 “That’s impossible,” Moxxie scoffed.

 Alastor appeared behind him, from his shadow form, making him jump. “I don’t think so! I can do so many things for your cause.” He stood in front of the three imps. A flaming bag of money appeared in Alastor’s outstretched hand, in front of Blitzo’s eyes. It changed to fiery silhouettes of Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie dancing to the clapping of a crowd coming through his microphone. “This may seem like a bit much, but so far, you’re a well-established company.” The I.M.P. logo appeared in his hand before he closed it. “I could improve you ads, extend your business to Pentagram City, all under my protection. Imps won’t have to be the lowest of the low ever again.”

 Blitzo and his associates looked at each other, lost in thought. Alastor’s grin grew wider.

  “Do you really want to give up this golden opportunity?”

 Moxxie paused. Blitzo found himself shaking his head. Millie smiled at Niffty and Husk nearby.

 Alastor turned to leave. “Well, it was worth a try. I could give you some time to think about it…it was only a suggestion.”

 He slowly walked toward the door. “3…2…1…”

 Blitzo’s eyes went wide. “No, no, wait! Don’t leave.”

 Alastor turned his head, smile wide. He turned back to them and held out his right hand. “So, do we have a deal?”

 “No deals!” Moxxie yelled, pulling Blitzo away. “There’s something shifty about this guy. The stuff he says is too good to be true.”

 “You sure about that?” he asked. “Perhaps I need to persuade you a little more…”

 He snapped his fingers and the table and pictures vanished. The room turned a dark purple and the floor became wooden like dance floor. Deer antlers and voodoo symbols lined the walls in neon colors. The posters now showed deer with black bloody circles in place of eyes. Alastor’s outfit changed into a red suit, with a red top hat with pins sticking out. Soon, everyone was wearing attire from the early 1900s: dapper dresses and round hats of purple, green and yellow for Millie, Niffty, and Loona, and suits of light blue, white and black for Blitzo, Husk and Moxxie.

  “Take it boys!” Alastor called, snapping his fingers. Shadow spirits emerged from a newly created portal in the ground. One played a saxophone, one a trumpet, and the other played the drums.

 A jazzy remix of the I.M.P. jingle played. Moxxie and Millie danced and spun around in the spotlight as the music played. Husk and Moxxie glared at each other in a corner. Niffty smiled and danced along, while Loona stared at her phone again.

 Alastor mentioned for Blitzo to come on stage and sing with him. Blitzo blushed and slowly made his way next to him.

  Alastor sang through his vintage microphone, which lit up.

   “When you want somebody dead,

And you wanna poke fun at their head

Call the Immediate Murder Professionals

 Whether homicide or genocide

We’ll make it look like suicide

Immediate Murder Professionals

 We do our job so well

‘Cause we come straight up from Hell

We’ll kill your husband or your wife

We’ll even let you keep the knife

 The Immediate…Murder…Professionals

 The song was followed by an electro swing solo and a repeat of the verses.

Blitzo was lost in a blissful trance as he and Alastor spun around in a dance.

 They both stopped to catch their breath as the music slowed to a relaxing jazz melody.

 Alastor held out his right hand. “What’d you say? Won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand?” The area around him glowed an eerie green and a strange wind gusted.

 Millie ran over and eagerly shook his hand. “I accept! Thank you for your help!” In the shadows, Moxxie was pulled toward Alastor by black tentacles wrapping around his waist.

 Blitzo stared at Alastor’s hand in front of him. Common sense told him to stay far away from this demon.

 But Millie had shaken his hand already…and he did offer to help them…

 Blitzo’s musical dream was just beginning, and so was his company. Why back out now?

 He slowly moved his hand closer, hovering over Alastor’s fingerless glove- covered hand.

 Loona’s eyes grew wide. Her fur stuck on end and her instincts kicked in. She could smell deceit and evil coming from the demon. She hadn’t thought it would go this far. For the first time, she placed her phone down on the ground. “Blitz!” she called.

 Blitzo briefly looked behind Alastor…and saw his adopted daughter…with fear in her eyes for the first time. He was sure he was dreaming. There was no way magic like this could exist, and surely his daughter wouldn’t show this much concern for him.

 But then again…Blitzo could create portals to Earth, so anything was possible.

 “Anything is possible,” said Alastor, as if reading his thoughts.

 “Don’t do it!” Loona barked. She raced over to Blitzo…only for Husk and Niffty to block her. Husk’s eyes and Niffty’s eye glowed red. “Ahh, the fuck?!” Loona exclaimed, in shock.

 Blitzo’s shaking hand inched closer…

 Moxxie’s hand was forcibly guided to the demon’s other hand by the tentacles…

 Loona growled and swatted Husk and Niffty aside with her paws.

  Blitzo’s hand touched Alastor’s at the same time Moxxie’s did.

“Noooo!”

  The Radio Demon cackled in triumph as Blitzo and Moxxie shook his hands. All three imps briefly opened their eyes wide, all glowing red. Small streams of evil black energy from their souls traveled from each of their mouths and into Alastor’s staff. Husk and Niffty stood up and stared at each other…for this had happened to them as well. All five of them stood still like soldiers, each with too-wide grins on their faces as static and symbols filled the air.

   “No, sir, nothing.” Moxxie replied.

 The pulsing stopped and a shadow was lifted.

 “Very well then. Off we go to the bar.”

 Angel and Blitzo walked side by side, having a heated conversation.

“I’d kill to work for a company like yours, pun not intended,” Angel said. “Being paid to kill people? With all the turf wars I’m in, I’ve killed or hurt dozens of demons. With humans, it’s no problem.”

 “What do you do,” Blitzo asked. “I must admit, your dress is rather…strange.”

 “It’s a suit, thank you very much.”

 “I still like it.”

 “Really? Well, I’m not too surprised. I’m Hell’s number one porn star after all.”

 “What’s that like?”

 “I work for my boss Valentino. He’s the owner of a porn studio not too far from here. I just tell my haters, “It’s my day to be gay.” And to those who wanna fuck with me, they gotta pay me. My services don’t come cheap.”

 “Heh,” Blitzo said with curiosity. “You with Valentino?”

 “Yeah, he’s rough in the bedroom. Doesn’t really care much about me other than me paying him and keeping myself in line.”

 “Sounds similar to Stolas. He sheds his feathers when he’s aroused. We fucked in his palace and I stole a Satanic ritual book to access the living world.”

 Angel grinned. “Oooh! Kinky!”

 “Then I fell down into chocolate cake and tell his queen, “Sorry I fucked your husband!”

 “Damn! And you’re still alive?”

 “I was lucky to hightail it outta there before she could peck out my insides.”

 “Oh, tell me more.”

 Blitzo laughed. “He called me over the phone and told me he wasn’t lonely now that so many people die from the covid 19 virus. Then he was then like, “When I’m lonely, I become hungry, and when I’m hungry… I want to…”

Blitzo continued on with a string of curse words and graphic descriptions.

“...and I’ll leave you screaming….like a fucking baby!”

 Angel stared stunned at what he had told him. “Holy shit. And I thought I was into BDSM. This owl guy could probably intimidate Valentino. Heheheheh. I did the same thing to Alastor as a prank call and he just hung up on me.”

 “Hahaha! I can see why.”

 Charlie and Vaggie walked side by side together, placing their distance from the guys.

 “Stolas…” Charlie said to Vaggie after hearing the name. “It sounds familiar. Oh I remember. He’s Melodia’s husband and father of Octavia.”

 “Who’s that?”

 “Octavia is a princess like me, except she’s a black and white owl. We…we used to be best friends when we were younger. We did typical princess tuff, tea parties, dress up, and the occasional murder. We even went to Hell-World in Gore-rida.”

 Vaggie’s eyes brightened. “I remember when we went there together.”

 “Yes. We posed together in front of the castle and we rode all the rides, too. Oh and the Disney musicals were the best part!”

 The two girls reminisced over the fun times.

 Charlie’s face fell. “But then, as time went on, we grew distant. I started to focus on the Happy Hotel and several other projects that could help out sinners. I encouraged Octavia to join me, but she refused. She thought my ideas were stupid and a waste of time.   After a few years, she started to believe that I didn’t want to be her friend anymore. I told her that wasn’t true but she didn’t believe me. She said that if I were her friend, I would’ve kept in contact with her, dressed more properly and mostly forget about my rehabilitation goals.”

 “That sounds harsh,” Vaggie said. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” She placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 “My dad was hoping that our families could be on good terms through a partnership. Not by marriage but by business and friendship. Now we hardly see each other.”

Everyone made their way into the larger area, where they were free to talk or roam around.

   Later on, Alastor and a very happy Blitzo were singing together in the spotlight up on stage. Blitzo now had a fancy dark blue suit with an orange, red tie and two dark top hats over his horns with stitched up smiley faces on it. With a confident grin, Alastor pulled Charlie onto the stage to sing along with them, much to Vaggie’s shock and anger.

 Loona and Husk were fighting furiously over a bottle of booze.

 “That’s my bottle, you bitch,” Husk hissed. “Go buy your own.”

 It’s mine, pussycat.”

 “Homeless furry beast. Go back to the fucking slum where you and the hellhounds belong!”

 “I’ll chase you and rip you apart, you gambling shittalking clown!”

 The two of them bared teeth and claws, swiping at each other and pulling each other’s ears.

 Without ceasing his tap dancing nor letting his smile falter, Alastor snapped his fingers. Loona and Husk were sent to opposite corners of the room, each with a bottle of booze next to them. They both looked stunned before gulping down their bottles with deadly glares.

 Charlie stepped up to the microphone and began to sing:

  “Sing it out

You’ve got to see what tomorrow brings

Sing it out

You’ve got to be what tomorrow needs

For every time that they want to count you out

Use your voice every single time you open up your mouth

 Sing it for the beaus

Sing it for the belles

Every time you lose it, sing it for Hell

 Sing it from the heart

Sing it till you’re nuts

Sing it out for the ones you hate your guts

 Sing it for the winners

Sing it for the sinners

Sing about everyone as you make fresh dinners”

 Alastor’s heart fluttered as he immersed himself in the moment. Focusing only on the sound of her angelic enchanting voice.

 “Oh Charlie, you’re full of surprises, charming demon belle.”

 Meanwhile, Millie and Niffty were sharing stories about guys at their table.

 Millie pointed to Moxxie, who was sitting across a table from Vaggie, both of them staring in envy at the trio on stage.

“That’s my husband, Moxxie. He can be a grump sometimes, but he’s very kind once you get to know him. He made me a song called “Oh Millie.” We sang it together one night when we were out shooting demons on the streets nearby.”

 Niffty beamed. “How romantic! You two spending some great time together. Disposing bodies and dancing in the bloody rain…it’s worthy for a fairytale.”

 “I know!” said Millie. “Blitzo films us outside of work, which drives Mox nuts. Sometimes he can have panic attacks, but I always know how to calm him down. I do love my job at I.M.P. Seems like I’m the only employee who does. Sure, we get into a lot of fights and we live in a crummy area of Hell. But we are a company family, so we stick together no matter what.”

 “Well, I’m very happy for you.” She sighed. “It’s so sexy when a man shows his great power. I mean, look at my boss. He’s conquered a dozen areas in Hell and he has supernatural powers. Husk and I were summoned to this place to assist him. Husk is the bartender and I’m the cook and housekeeper. Man it felt good to be free of the burning lake, you know? Plus…I have a side-job too.”

 “What is it?” She leaned in.

 “Husk and I sometimes dispose of demon bodies after Alastor kills other demons…and we get paid at the end of every week.”

 Millie laughed. “I’m all too familiar with that process. Except we dispose of humans. And on Earth…it’s more risky if you get caught. Down here, nobody cares.”

 “Oh I just love men, so much! Alastor, Vox, Valentino…Lucifer too. If I had my way…”

Her voice grew lower and harmless fire spread over her body,

“I’d clean this hellhole of all the messy chaotic demons, clean up the organs and bathe in the blood. The skins of demons and women would be sewn together to make fashionable outfits for a grand ball. All the men in hell would devote themselves to me and the rest would die in cleansing flame.”

The flames stopped and Niffty shrunk back to normal size. Millie just stared at her for a while.

“Oh and I also want my new fanfiction to be noticed and published. I just fixed it, too. On Wattpad.”

She held up sheets of paper she summoned from fire: “How Vox, Valentino, Lucifer and Alastor Cared for Me in Bed.”

“I wonder what Blitzo and Moxxie are like…”

Millie glared. “Keep my husband out of this, and I’ll support your work.”

“Really? Thank you so much!”

Niffty jumped for joy and ran off to deliver more bowls of Jambalaya. Millie scanned through the papers with a smile. And then a grimace.

“Piece of shit.”

She casually tossed the papers to Loona, who tore them apart with her mouth and claws.

 Moxxie and Vaggie said nothing for a while. They just watched as Charlie took a bow after singing “You’re Never Fully Dressed.”

 “I swear, Blitzo, you keep going off the deep end every day. Why do I have to keep putting up with you and the dumb company?”

 Vaggie watched as Alastor kissed Charlie’s hand, both of them smiling.

 “Charlie, why don’t you stop and listen to me? You’d really risk our friendship…and dare I say it, your life, for an evil dealmaker who shows up at your door?”

 As if they were reading each other’s thoughts, Moxxie and Vaggie glanced at each other.

 “What a bunch of egocentric idiots,” he muttered.

 “No need to remind me,” Vaggie said. “I wish I could slap that stupid smile off that man’s face.”

 “Alastor?”

 “Yes.”

 “You’re stupid if you plan on trying.”

 “Imp, I’ll only go that far if he puts my friend in danger.”

 “I’m Moxxie, lady. I could care less about who you are.”

 “Vaggie,” she growled. She gripped her spear with one hand.

 Moxxie scoffed. “You gonna use that harpoon on me? You best use it wisely. After a single strike, I’d fall dead and everyone would want to get their hands on it.”

 “And get kicked out of this place. No. How do you so much about my spear?”

 Moxxie let out a small grin. “I’m a weapon’s specialist at I.M.P. I’ve been fixing and using guns, rifles, knives, and pretty much anything. I know an angelic weapon when I see it.”

 This time, Vaggie got intrigued. “I’ve kept this with me ever since I fell down into Hell. I didn’t merely appear like the other sinners.”

 She dug into her pocket and showed him one of her daggers. Moxxie studied it with interest. “Appears to be hand-made. Steel blade, slightly worn. You made this?”

 Vaggie nodded. “I also am good at martial arts. Though I haven’t practiced since…well, my previous life ended and I fell from the Heavens. This weapon is my only reminder of that.”

 Moxxie handed the dagger back to her.  “Are you a … fallen angel?”

 “Fallen Exterminator,” she corrected. “I’m stuck here forever just like everyone else. And perhaps I’m destined to die on one of the Exterminations.”

 Moxxie shook his head. “With your intellect and courage…and temper, I doubt that.”

Vaggie didn’t know what to say, other than, “I figured as much.”

 Moxxie then asked, “Have you ever felt like you’re…somehow second best? Like you’re just the sidekick to your boss or friend, stuck in a big company with no one but annoyances around you?”

 Vaggie nodded. “All the time. It always seems to be about Charlie and Alastor. When they’re together, they act like I’m not even there. And don’t get me started on Angel Dust, Husk and Niffty. Angel, fucking son of a bitch drug addict. He jumps into turf wars and made the hotel look bad to the public. He only wants a free place to crash. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone around him, it seems. And Husk, the drinker and gambler…swears as much as me. Called me bitch when I told him to stop hoarding liquor for the umpteenth time. Niffty, that fast little bugger, always hot for men and getting into everyone’s business. And Alastor…urgh! He shoves me aside, slaps my ass, steals my girlfriend away! He’d be dead if he weren’t so powerful. If this goes on too long…”

 Vaggie turned away, angrily wiping a stray tear from her eye. “Just…men are untrustworthy. At least to me. They stole my virginity, stole my life, and now my afterlife best friend.”

 Moxxie didn’t know what to say, he just seethed softly, debating on whether to talk to her or leave her alone.

 “That’s harsh. I’m sorry. I thought I had it hard, with Blitzo stalking me every day, and him using my salary to pay for an advertisement. I live in poverty and listen to musicals…but life’s not bad not that my asshole parents aren’t around.”

Moxxie cleared his throat. “Well, I can say this, having been in Hell for a while. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. Stick with people you trust, and when you can’t trust them…sometimes you have to roll with the punches and get through the day.”

 He brandished a small black gun and clicked it for show. “Trust your instincts. And when it’s time to fight, don’t hold back.”

 “I won’t, believe me.”

 Her demon form emerged, her white hair fanning out, with eyes forming on it like moth wings. Her pink bow turned into pink horns and her pink x glowed. Purple moth wings made of flame sprouted from her back and an extra pair of insect like limbs allowed her to carry more weapons. Small antennae formed from the front part of her head of hair.

 “I would give my life to save Charlie.”

 “As I would for Millie.”

 Vaggie reverted back to her regular form, the wings and features vanishing.

 “Thank you, Moxxie, I really needed that.”

 “Not a problem.”

 They shook hands before parting ways.

 Charlie ran over and enveloped Vaggie in a hug. “Oh that was such a great performance. It was so much fun being up there!”

 Vaggie had to smile. “You did well up there. Your voice is beautiful.”

 “Aww Vaggie,” she laughed. She planted a kiss on her friend’s forehead, a blush coming to her gray cheeks. Charlie sat next to Vaggie as they listened to Alastor’s dad jokes.

 “Two radio antennas got married. The wedding was good but the reception was awesome!”

 “Boo!” shouted Angel. Everyone else sat in boredom, save for Charlie, Millie, and Niffty who silently giggled. Lonna lifted a middle finger as she stared at her phone.

 Alastor cleared his throat.

 “Knock knock. Who’s there? Radio. Radio who?”

 He then answered his joke in a demonic voice without moving his mouth.  

 “Radio not here I come! Hahaha!”

 “Jeez, even when he’s telling jokes, he gives me the creeps,” Moxxie mentioned to Millie. Millie nodded, half dazed. “Snap out of it,” he shook her as she turned to him.

 “Calm down, Mox. Don’t worry so much.”

  Niffty had gotten a nosebleed and fainted in delight.

 Alastor glanced down. “Somebody please help the little darling?”

 Millie raced over and moved Niffty over to a couch.

   “Radio not, here I come,” Vaggie scoffed. “That’s not even a dad joke, it was a knock knock joke! So terrible.”

 “Like paper is,” Charlie added, with a smile.

 Vaggie playfully elbowed Charlie in the ribs. “Blonde dork.”

 Soon it was getting late. It was time for I.M.P. to go back to their business.

 “Thank you for coming, everyone!” said Alastor. “What a splendid night it was! You’re welcome back here anytime!”

 “Good riddance,” Loona called back, taking a breath of a cigarette and holding a stolen bottle of vodka in her hands. Husk flipped the bird at her as she did it back with both hands. Angel Dust had given her a bag of angel dust, which she hid in her shorts. It didn’t go unnoticed by Charlie but she decided to let the matter slide.

 Loona was the first one out, followed by Millie, Moxxie, and finally, Blitzo.

 “Bye everyone!” Blitzo called out. “Be sure to call us you want somebody gone!”

 “Are you sure you don’t want to redeem yourself?” Charlie asked. “You are an incredible performer and it was so much fun to spend time with you.”

 “Hmm, let me think…no thank you!” Blitzo laughed. “Business is business!”

 Blitzo did one last wave and wink before Charlie shut the door with a sigh.

 “Alright, off to your rooms everyone,” Charlie called. “We have a busy day tomorrow.”

Alastor sent his shadow to guard the perimeter outside, while the group straightened up the lobby before heading upstairs.

 She walked toward a certain red clad demon.

 “Alastor, you changed the sign of my hotel. Why?”

 Alastor looked up from the voodoo doll he was sewing and stood up. “Darling, Happy sounded too immature. It sounds like a name for an overnight rehab center where demon’s reputations are forever tarnished in group meetings and little kid activities. This is a hotel in Hell, for misfits like us. A safe place for them to stay for the night. No other name properly reflects that.”

 “That still doesn’t give you the right to change anything!”

 Alastor shrugged and spread out his arms. “Hey, no need to get so frazzled. I’m just doing my part to help. Though if you don’t want any more help…I can just find entertainment elsewhere…”

 “Nonono! Please…stay,” Charlie begged. “Just…stay out of trouble.”

 Alastor pulled her in for a brief side hug, then pat her head. “We’ll do. Goodnight, sweetheart.”

 He vanished into the shadows without another word.

[inkvvells]

⧼ toby regbo, cis male, he/him/his / quarter-life crisis by judah and the lion + desks piled high with books and materials, always crowded but never messy; guilt and shame that eat away at him with every mention of family moments and memories he chose to not be part of; three cups of black coffee to make it through the day, four if there’s too much that needs done (there’s always too much that needs done). ⧽ ━━ hey, isn’t that PERCY WEASLEY? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the TWENTY-NINE year old pure blood WIZARD is a GRYFFINDOR alumnus who has gone on to be a MINISTRY EMPLOYEE. i’ve heard they can be quite DRIVEN & METICULOUS, but i don’t know… they came off very OSTENTATIOUS & NEUROTIC in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it? — [pinterest]

who ordered a pretentious, family-abandoning guilty nerd? no one?? guess this one is on the house then. i’m???? super inspired in writing this bio and its more of a character analysis than anything else bc he’s an established enough canon that we don’t know much about personally so i went ham but i’m not about to ask y’all to read the mess i’ll inevitablty type up for him, so here are a few brief bullet points for now bc i want this up:

learned that the best way to get praise was to do everything he was told, be as respected as bill and charlie, and look after the younger kids. he took these lessons and ran with them into overdrive because percy only knows two modes: zero or one-hundred. hence how he turned out to be a killjoy

stupidly smart and stupidly ambitious. the sorting hat considered putting him in slytherin and he debated with it until the hat got annoyed with him and gave him gryffindor instead. you can pry that hc out of my cold, dead hands

so much of him is based in guilty: for the fight he had with arthur, for putting up so much distance between him and his family for years, and for not coming back to them until the very last minute. there’s also an immense level of guilt thinking he had a part in fred’s death, because he was there when his brother was killed and he wonders if he hadn’t caused a distraction, if fred might still be alive. he’s never spoken about any of his guilt because he’s about as good at communicating as he is at having any chill (aka, not at all)

after the war (and all of the grief and pain and healing that followed), percy made his primary focus on rebuilding his relationship with his family. it’s not been easy, but if the war taught him anything, it’s that he will not lose even more time

currently employed at the ministry (duh) in the department of magical transportation because jkr said that somewhere, i’m just too tired to cite the source

i’ll make a stats page and link it later along with the rest of the finished bio, thank u and good night

BIO — under co.

Born the third son to Molly and Arthur Weasley, one of the very first lessons Percy learned was that it was easy to get lost in the crowd. In a family that finally tapered off at seven children, there was always someone crying, laughing, or making some sort of racket (sometimes all three at once). It was such a loud environment, and it was clear early on that Percy didn’t like loud. He liked things to be quiet and structured, because that made sense to him.

While all of his brothers were causing chaos, Percy was more likely to be found trailing after their mother. It was the only time when he felt like he got one-on-one time — he’s never been all that great at sharing, you see, even within his family. Even better than the time, he quickly realized that it was the best way to get recognition in a family as big as his. Rather than trying to make the biggest display for reinforcement, Percy learned to set himself apart by doing exactly what he was told. When his older brothers were away at school, and the younger kids were causing Molly to want to tear her hair, there was an overarching, sometimes unspoken (often times not) question of, why can’t you lot be like Percy? Responsible Percy, who completed all of his lessons as soon as possible and made sure to not track mud into the house and make a mess. It didn’t matter that it made him less likable to his siblings. It didn’t matter that that lack of likability sometimes felt like a lack of love, either (not that he would say that out loud). Their family was under enough stress, with seven kids and strained finances. He wouldn’t be the one to add any more stress.

Over time, it became less about being the responsible one for the sake of being good, and more so just... because that’s who Percy was. He could be overbearing to a fault, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that he sucked at communication. Whenever he scolded the younger kids for even the most minute thing, it didn’t come from a place of anger. In Percy’s mind, rules were established to keep you safe, and if his siblings broke any of the his mother’s rules, it meant they were making themselves unsafe. He may have been garbage at showing it, but Percy always has and always will love his family. The thought of something happening to them, especially something he could prevent, was not okay in his book. They needed to listen in order to be safe, and if that meant he had to act like an overbearing mother to guarantee that, then so be it.

While he was his mother’s shadow growing up, there was also a deep respect for his father. That respect greatly shifted as Percy grew up and learned their family’s status in the wizarding world, but as a little kid? He wanted so much to be like Arthur. That’s why his desire to enter the Ministry has existed as long as he can remember. Thus began a serous case of tunnel vision further fueled by Percy’s own ambition. Once he set his mind to something, good luck getting him to change it. And Percy’s mind was set on the best.

One thing Percy has kept to himself for years is something said to him during the sorting ceremony his first day at Hogwarts. Slytherin would suit you. Percy determined that that stupid hat must be broken, and mentally argued with it for a solid minute before it put him in Gryffindor — like his parents, like Bill, and like Charlie. His only real care? That he couldn’t stand to feel more disliked in his family than he already did.

His school years were everything that he needed them to be. By the time he started, he already had everything planned out. Get top marks? Done (friendly reminder that Percy got twelve O.W.L.’s, how tf). Become prefect? Done. Become Head Boy? Check, check, and check. Of course, it was far more than just a bit stressful when the twins started school and his lecturing towards them went into overdrive. Then Ron, who’s life seemed to be put in danger every five seconds after befriending Harry Potter. And then the entire debacle that was Ginny’s first year. Needless to say, Percy got his first grey hair at aged sixteen. But he managed to deal with (read: ignore) all of his stress and worry, and left Hogwarts with Os on all of his N.E.W.T.s and a job offer at the Ministry. Everything was going to according to plan.

Everything did not go as planned. His first year at the Ministry was an absolute disaster, to put it lightly. His boss never learned his name, which was humiliating enough. But Percy knew that what he wanted involved playing along in order to work your way up, so that’s exactly what he did. And it worked! Even when most of his correspondence with Crouch was done through letters, it felt like something. Being asked to carry out Crouch’s role in the Triwizard Tournament felt like a reward. Nevermind that he was 18 at the time and that job should have been done by somebody much more established than him. So when word got out that someone had been Imperio’d for ages by someone, Percy was an easy target to blame for not noticing. He could have bit back that had barely known Crouch beforehand, why was it being put on him? He didn’t fight back though. That wouldn’t do him any good. He took it all in stride, bit his tongue, and did what he’d always done: exactly as he was told.

We don’t discuss the fight and his subsequent abandoning of his family.

Percy doesn’t like to think about the almost three years that followed. Why would he? The first few weeks were spent seething with anger, towards his father and towards himself. After the anger cooled, it was replaced with overwhelming guilt. Not for the doubt that he’d had in his parents’ side, oh no. He was still very adamant that they were delusional for trusting the word of a teenage boy and an old (though arguably respectable) man over the governing forces, those same forces that he’d been in awe of since he was a kid. No, Percy’s guilt lay in the accusations he’d shouted, and the blame he’d placed on his father for their family’s financial state.

listen i’ll elaborate on his time during and after the war later, it’s like 2am and i’ve been fighting with my laptop for hours and this is already sO MUCH THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR, PERCY IS JUST MY CHILD

[thespearandthecrown]

A Whiskey for Her

AN- Hey fam! So this July/August was insane. Now that September is on its way, I will have a bit of free time to work more on some writing. I am about another 5 or 4 more chapters left for The Sheriff and The Soldier, which, I'm super happy to see nearly completed. Dakota and the gang have been at the back of my mind for the past two months demanding that I finish their story. I've also released the first two chapters of my original story about my gay werewolf dweebs on fiction press. If you wanna check that out, as well as my ko-fi page, take a look at my ‘WHERE YOU CAN FIND ME’ tab on this Tumblr. Without any further adieu, have something that has been a warm-up piece I've been working on for the past three years now. I've rewritten this thing like 800 times. Thanks for your support, I hope this fic finds all of you well <3

Vi hated the 'underground' Piltovian technopunk scene. The venues are usually filled with too drunk mid-forty housewives, whose cheating husbands let them loose for a 'girls night out'. It wasn't like the legendary raves of Zaun, where laws or claims of power meant nothing. Where people could get lost in the flashing lights and pounding beats.

That was where the real fun laid.

The number of people she would bring home after a night of dancing most likely broke some kind of record.

But here?

Void's above the only thing she could pick up is some blubbering wife who wants to get back at her husband.

Too much vengeance and drama for one night.

This, however, wasn't the reason why Vi was in such a despicable joint. The 'boys' from the cop shop wanted to get together and tear up the town. They invited Vi, promising good drinks and plenty of women. Rather than declining, she thought that after the last few busts she deserved a night out.

Sadly, this blew ass.

Her coworkers were long gone, either too drunk to stand or too busy dealing with housewives.

Giving up, she took a great sigh and left the establishment feeling fairly bummed out and in the need of some kind of greasy substance.

She didn't walk far before she came up to her favourite pub, the Brass Gauntlet. Humming to herself, she agreed, instantly craving a Bilgewatian sea bass butty, a specialty that this pub was quite famous for.

The reason why she enjoyed this place came in three parts.

One, the food and drink were good, cheap and usually what she needed. Two, it was a wooden establishment with polished down seats and a lovely smiling old bartender that easily held the feeling of welcome warmth. Three, it was quiet and close to work. Sure the room could be filled with patrons, but it could never get any louder then whispered conversations. Usually, after a long day of hearing the sheriff bitch and complain about Vi's work methods, she would come here to destress and breathe.

Tonight, the basement pub had a small handful of patrons. A group clustered together at the far end chatted quietly amongst themselves, sipping their drinks as they nodded along with whoever was telling a story.

At the other end was a sole individual, huddled in their own booth.

Vi practically fainted as she recognized the individual. Not a day in her life did she ever think Sheriff Caitlyn Deramore would ever step foot in a pub of her own free volition.

With curiosity and a few pints fueling her forward, she made her way to the sheriff's table.

The sheriff had her back to the entrance. Her long raven black hair was tied up into a messy bun, revealing her pale swan-like neck. Her purple petticoat had been removed leaving her in her white blouse that seemed a bit to loose around the neck.

"What is a girl like you, doin' in a place like this?" Vi grinned as she stood at the head of the table to face the sheriff head-on.

Caitlyn quirked an eyebrow at the pinkette. Her brilliant ice blue eyes were accentuated by heavy shadows and wire-rimmed reading glasses. As to what Vi expected, her white blouse had two buttons undone, revealing a bit more of her neck and her collarbone. Vi returned the expression with her own raised eyebrow as she witnessed the rolled-up sleeves revealing the tense forearms of the Sheriff. Her right hand twirled the tumbler of whiskey; the single ice cube gently tapping the glass in the movement.

"Doing your paperwork," Caitlyn replied coldly.

Vi's eyes lowered to the small stack of yellowed sheets. In Caitlyn's left hand was a decorative ink pen.

"Ah, shit, sorry Sheriff. What did I do wrong? I honestly thought I got it right this time. I even got Albert to help me out on this one." Vi admitted sheepishly.

The Sheriff gave a great sigh before she took a swig of her whiskey. "It's alright deputy."

"Why here though? Why not at your office?" Vi asked perplexed.

"Because the bullpen is insanely full with that shimmer bust and the captives will not cease their incessant caterwauling of proclaimed innocence." She muttered lowly, taking another long swig of the amber liquid. "It is very quiet here and the whiskey selection is not terrible."

"Mind if I sit wit' ya? Maybe show me where I went wrong?" Vi asked, both hoping the sheriff will say no and yes.

Caitlyn mulled the thought over, watching the liquid in her glass swirl. With a sigh, she nodded toward the bar. "Get me another round then, deputy."

Vi chuckled. "Not a problem. What's your poison, boss?"

"The dragon's breath whiskey from Freljord. One rock, please." Caitlyn replied as she continued the work set before her.

"Coming right up." Vi turned on her heels With mixed emotions curdling her gut.

She wasn't afraid of Caitlyn, nor hated her. She was just so…uptight. Too serious and work-focused. Usually, the day shift crew would go together to the leather boot, a Piltovian warden stomping ground, with expensive prices to accommodate the large salaries of the trained officers. The shift would all go together, have a pint and unwind before going home.

Every time, Caitlyn would decline.

Out of the six months that Vi had been working with her, she didn't see her cut loose once.

And within a weeks time, she should be working more frequently with Caitlyn once she graduated the progressive and special program they implemented to make sure she was ready for the job.

Frankly, Vi was both dreading and too excited to work with this intense woman.

Maybe this could be the kick starter to get to know each other better.

For Vi to properly understand the sheriff and her insane work ethic.

With a quick nod of thanks and an exchange of coins between her and the bartender, Vi walked back with a pint and a whiskey tumbler.

"You have tomorrow off, right?" Vi asked as she passed the glass to Caitlyn's slim dexterous hands.

"Thank you," Caitlyn nodded. "Yes, I have every Sunday off."

Vi seated herself on the bench opposite of Caitlyn. The pinkette observed the tight-lipped exchange as she flipped to the back of a page and scratched on another. Her jawline became tight with annoyance.

"You seem a bit ticked that you have it off." Vi deduced, taking a mouthful of beer.

Caitlyn snorted. "I am indeed 'ticked'. Albert handles the scheduling and insists that I have that day off, rather than allowing me to work on cases."

"Albert is a good guy. Not to pry or anything but do you ever feel like you could amount to him since you're his replacement?"

The sheriff sighed heavily. "Albert was a great Sheriff. The community loved him, the politicians couldn't get enough of him. However, as much as I hate to say it, I do the job better. He has been a great mentor and has really taught me some valuable lessons with the social aspects of being sheriff. He has trained and trusted me to do better than him, and I'm glad I can fulfill his wishes. I just wish the man would properly retire."

"Well obviously his paperwork reviewing could do better." Vi joked gently.

"In all honesty, you didn't do anything wrong. Your handwriting is just despicable and I need to give the mayor this report so he can show our hard work to the council."

"How rude, Sheriff. It's not like I learned how to properly write like six months ago." Vi grinned teasingly. Then a thought crossed her mind, making her eyebrows furrow in concentration. "Why does the council need to see my report?"

"They are putting a lot of resources to use for you. They want proof that you are actually capable of being my partner, let alone a legal protector of the city." Caitlyn explained.

"So you're helping me look good?"

"In those terms, yes. As much as you seem like you are capable of turning in criminals, they want to see you be an officer, a deputy. Not some loose canon vigilante with no respect for the rules. Sure you may be completing that program, but they want to see your training applied to the real world."

Vi snorted loudly, causing the table on the other side of the bar to take a quick peek behind them. "But that's what I am, Sheriff. I'm not here to slap the wrist of some city hooligans. I'm here to stop the real bad guys. The ones who'd take kids, sell the harmful chemical shit, try to bring terror to good innocent people."

Caitlyn observed as Vi balled her fist.

"I'm glad you have faith in me. I'm glad that you are willing to go the extra mile to help me out. But let them see me for what I want to be." She took a long sip of her brew, then placed it down onto the heavy oak table. She tightened her jaw as she focused on her scarred hands holding the pint glass.

In this, Caitlyn observed the brawler before her. She was in her cracked leather jacket, brooding in the raised lapels. She had freshly shaved the side of her head, showing the dark pink roots. The scent of citrus and mint hit her nose as Vi straightened herself to sit upright. Her violet eyes bore into Caitlyn. They blazed with a determination that the sheriff had started to become quite accustomed to.

She had witnessed this determination a multitude of times in the past six months of Vi working with the precinct. It was normally accompanied by loud snarled curses and frustrated yells. It was smashing through a wall with a broken collarbone, whilst dodging bullets and protecting the hostage in her grasp. It was spitting in the face of political terrorists who threatened to blow the city to smithereens. It was her staying up all night to help prove the innocence of a street orphan who was facing charges of murder. It was her facing these almost impossible tasks with a crooked grin and a crack of her knuckles.

Caitlyn respected this determination, but she only wished the pinkette would give her on-the-fly plans a bit more thought.

"Why do you do this?" The brawler asked. Her voice was stern and serious. "Why put all of this effort when, no matter what, they're going to throw me out."

The sheriff takes a moment to mull over her statement. The tumbler clinks as she lets the ice and whiskey mingle more and more with each twist of her wrist. "Frankly, I am not quite sure, myself." She admits. "Maybe it’s because I know they can sense the potential in you. I understand your skepticism though; the old guard of the city council can be quite misogynistic. It took them a while to have full faith in me."

Their eyes meet for a moment. Caitlyn can see the gears slowly turn in Vi's head and it made the raven-haired woman curious.

Vi regards the sheriff in a new way. It isn't the usual brush off 'we'll deal with the situation as we go' kind of look that the brawler usually gives her.

Caitlyn can't help the small smile that tugs at her lips. "Be careful, Vi. If I didn't know any better it looks like I just earned some respect from you."

That troublesome smirk that drives the sheriff nearly up the wall, spreads through the pinkette's lips easily. "You should slow down on those Dragon Breaths, Sheriff. I think they're causing you to hallucinate."

They share a small chuckle between themselves.

"I think I like this side of you, Sheriff." Vi drawls as she finishes her drink. She signals to the bartender for another round, and the old smiling man nods.

Caitlyn raises an eyebrow, trying her best to not smile. "Don't get too used to it."

[blakelywintersfield]

what do you think about cancel culture?

So it took me a while to answer this ask ‘cause I have... a lot to say about the subject.

There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to cancel culture. Its roots I like to believe are well intended -- a means to alert vulnerable groups about individuals that have a history of hurting them. But people have taken it... way too far.

I think it’s important to hold people accountable for their actions. There’s a lot of people who get away with horrible things, simply because they produce likeable material (makeup, music, movies, entertainment, etc.). People like Jeffree Star, PewDiePie, and Kat Von D have gotten away with their horrific treatment of others for years because people enjoy their content -- and two out of three of them still are wildly successful. What pushes people over the limit? Often times it’s a matter of what white people take major issue in. In Kat’s case, being anti-vax. Is being anti-vax bad? Hell yeah it is. As someone who’s immuno-compromised it literally could lead to an early, painful, slow death for me. And don’t get me wrong, I wanna die, but not from something that takes months of suffering. But people blatantly ignored her other awful acts -- such as her antisemitic actions (telling her former boss to “burn in hell jewbag” (sic) in the form of writing on a photo she left for him and drawing a Nazi symbol on it), complacency in victim blaming (her neo-Nazi husband blames his daughter’s rape on his daughter), denying and viciously responding to criticisms about her pedophilic makeup names (”Underage Red”, “Lolita”, second not in reference to the Japanese style but the book), and actively killing her pets (she killed one cat by leaving a house full of burning candles -- cat knocked down the candles, house went up in flames, cat died; she also was found forcing a vegan diet onto her cats -- I’m unsure if this has continued but I believe one of her cats died from it). All of these are huge reasons to “cancel” her -- to boycott her products. But people didn’t actively hate her until she came out as anti-vax, something that effects the majority. And that’s part of the issue with cancel culture: people pick and choose what’s acceptable depending on how badly it effects them personally.

Let’s focus on the other two mentioned: Jeffree and Felix. Jeffree has a very, very, veryyyyy long past of being a racist piece of shit. Not even lowkey ignorant white person racist (i.e. ”I didn’t know making fun of AAE and viewing dreadlocks as trashy was racist”). I’m talking straight up using the n-slur, with the hard -er too, towards a black woman. And this was recent, too. There just haven’t been any physical references beforehand, only personal accounts. But people have defended him -- and still defend him -- on these actions, because he apologized. But then he’ll do it again a month later. And there’ll be definitive proof of it. He’ll keep doing it over, and over, and over again. And people will continue to excuse him because he keeps apologizing! That’s not how apologies work! As someone who’s been abused, apologies mean nothing if you don’t actively work on fixing what you’re apologizing for!! My abusers would apologize and then do the exact same thing again so many times that I lost count long ago! And of course, Shane Dawson hasn’t helped because he’s head over heels for the guy, so he’s been using his popularity to try and clear his name -- which is ironic, considering he’s been under fire for being racist in the past too. The only difference is he actually cleaned his act up, until now, of course. Because now, instead of creating racist content himself, he’s defending a chronically racist shitbag. And people continue to defend him, because his shitty actions effects mainly black women -- a minority in comparison to the amount of white people in the states. Jeffree continues to be wildly successful because his problematic behavior only effects a minority, and that’s... not okay.

Felix has a very similar history to Jeffree, but with antisemitism, and in my opinion he’s even worse because he’ll apologize then do something nice like donate to a charity. And that would be fantastic if he wouldn’t continue to do antisemitic things like actively support white supremacists. People continue to defend him because he does charitable things, but I constantly remind people that abusive people aren’t abusive 24/7 -- that’s literally how they get away with abuse. They abuse, then take you out for a fancy date, kiss you gently and tell you how beautiful you are. Then they do something abusive. It’s an endless cycle. And that’s honestly what Felix does. Apologize, do something really fucking nice, and then repeat his shitty action. And he has other extremely influential people defend him -- it’s why I had to stop following JackSepticEye and Markiplier. They continuously vouched for him. They continuously defended him. And they did it in the form of saying “he’s a really good person, I know him personally, he’s really fucking sweet and nice”. That’s what people say about the partner of someone really close to me! Their friends defend them all the time, but they’ve never seen how they treat my friend. They don’t know about how they are in a relationship. And that’s all we ever hear about abusers. No one wants to accept that their longtime friend is shitty. But Mark and Sean contribute to the toxic ideology of “defend your friends to the end”. And it disenfranchises those effected because 1) they’re not Jewish, they have absolutely no say in the matter, and 2) they’re abusing their popularity to keep their friend from being properly criticized. I don’t think either of them are shitty people, per se, but they’re being extremely toxic by not letting their friend see that they’re a repeat offender and need to either work on their shit or face the music. Mark and Sean both have the power to make Felix change if they just give him the ultimatum of “us or this”.

But I digress. The main issue highlighted here is that people who actually do bad things and continue to do bad things aren’t being held accountable because people don’t care to acknowledge what doesn’t directly effect them. This is the first main issue with cancel culture.

Let’s focus on another man under scrutiny: John Lennon. Now, let me put out there for disclaimer purposes that this man is far from perfect and has problematic parts to him as well. He’s done some shitty things. But cancel culture looooooooves to dig at this man. To put it crudely, they really enjoy beating this dead... man. And mainly over one really bad thing he did, which was hit his wife. However, people love to 1) over-exaggerate it, and 2) completely ignore how he handled the aftermath. Cancel culture often refers to him as a “wife beater”, as though this were a chronic habit or that he severely brutalized his wife. But they conveniently ignore that he apologized, both to her and publicly, taught himself about domestic abuse and spoke up for women’s rights, and even wrote multiple songs about how he fucked up and he shouldn’t be excuse for what he did. And, most importantly, his wife forgave him. The victim in this situation forgave him, and people still dig into this one thing and use it as their reason to hate him and his band to this day. Genuine criticism of him and what he’s done have gone to the wayside because of this one fact with no context, and it’s a huge phenomena because people, for whatever reason, love to hate popular things. Like I said, he’s done shitty things! He wasn’t perfect! But to use one issue that was literally resolved to hate him is just a lazy excuse to hate what’s popular, and that comes to our second issue with cancel culture: people want to hate what’s popular and will go to any lengths to excuse their hatred, even if issues that have been resolved.

The last main issue I have is that cancel culture is often set up in very black and white terms. Person does bad thing, they’re bad, end of discussion. But that’s... not how life works. Not at all. I know religion isn’t universal, especially Christianity, but there’s one point in Christianity that is universal: humans are flawed. No human being to have ever existed is perfect. And with the rise of technology and social media, a lot of mistakes have a permanent proof out there. Be it through tweets, tumblr or Facebook posts, Instagram or Snapchat stories, whatever it is, there is proof. And people like to take it way too far.

For example... well, I’ll use myself. There’s good things to not being tumblr famous, and I’m blessed with that, because I used to be a major shithead. Well. Okay, I still am, but I was bigoted, uninformed, and had a lot of internalized issues. For anyone that doesn’t know, I was raised in a conservative Christian household where my father was Southern Baptist and my mother had been raised Catholic (her personal religious views are much more lax though, thankfully). Both came from small towns in Illinois and Missouri respectively, and their parents, the same. I was aggressively homophobic and transphobic (ironic, eh?), covertly racist and sexist, and just overall a really shitty person. And while I didn’t join tumblr until after I’d finally started to grow, a lot of people on here are younger -- some even lying about their age and joining before they’re 13. And like me, many of these kids are in close-minded households. And for the longest time I refused to listen to other people because of the good ol’ backfire effect, but once I began to accept I was wrong, I learned. Of course I still have learning to do -- I always do. I always will. And that’s okay. But if I were 12 year old me on tumblr today, I would, well. I would’ve probably killed myself by now, because of all the bullying and hate for being a shithead child. A shithead, yes. But a child. Someone that’s going to be ignorant to a lot of things because they haven’t been alive for as long. And not everyone has informed parents that make it a point to teach them. Adults are a little harder to forgive, I’ll admit, but children have a lot more potential to learn and grow, and we often treat them just like adults.

The final issue with cancel culture is that it gives no room for improvement and no assumption of someone’s innocence. While it hurts to be on the victim end, we as a whole are obligated to correct the issue. I personally would like it to be those not effected doing that (i.e. someone making a transphobic comment having other cis people explain why it’s transphobic and isn’t okay), but regardless, we need to assume innocent until guilty with these kinds of things. It’s not easy, sure, but if I had been on tumblr while I was a shitty kid parroting my dad’s awful world views, cancel culture would’ve labeled me a piece of shit with no chance of redemption, and if I didn’t kill myself there’s no fucking way in hell I would’ve learned, because that kind of treatment would’ve stuck with me and made it harder for me to listen to the other side’s reasoning, even if they were right. We need to approach people in a manner of calm education, instead of ready to kill. In no way am I saying this is an easy thing to do, but unless they’ve refused to open themselves up in any way whatsoever, immediately chalking someone up as a lost cause is just... counter-productive. We have to acknowledge that people are flawed, and can learn and grow. We need to give people space to improve. It’s not all or nothing.

All in all, cancel culture has a good base, but its execution has become irrational and a means to justify hating those that really don’t deserve it, while turning a blind eye to those that actually are problematic. There’s a lot to be improved on.

[calwh7]

Sleep Walking - Chapter 1

Hey I’m back but with voltage, think I’ve moved on. This is something I’ve wanted to write for a while now so I thought why not?. Thanks to my friend tho who have encouraged me to write this especially @gamerneko-girl thank you 💕 also the gang mentioned in this is from my fave game sleeping dogs.

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Description: Yumeka, the daughter of Soryu Oh and MC lives with her mother in Hong Kong, oblivious to the fact that her father is the boss of the Ice Dragons, one of the Sun on Yee’s sworn enemies. Yumeka is also a mobster behind her mothers back, she is a high up member of the Sun on Yee. Now plagued by her mothers capture, she must fight for her mothers freedom by single handedly bringing down Soryu Oh, but with secrets uncovered left and right, will Yumeka make the right decision? Will she ever get her mother back?

Pairing: well it’s kinda Soryu x MC but it’s their kid. Who will also get a girlfriend.

Warning: this story contains scenes of violence, abuse, torture and very bad laungage throughout all chapters. There’s a scene in this chapter that’s kinda gruesome, it’s in between the * . You can skip it it’s not really story important.

Notes: a triad is basically a Cantonese mobster who belongs to one of a few specific gangs, Soryu is NOT a triad though. Yumeka is not a good person like her father. Also Sor doesn’t know he has a kid, he think that MC left him 19 years ago. Also Ryusei doesn’t exist in this. Enjoy!

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The rumble of the engine smoothed out as I parked my bike in a secluded alcove next to my apartment building, hidden enough so that no one would steal it through the night. I sighed as I began the journey up the stairs of the building, passing neon lights of suggestive words that flashed through the windows. I finally reached number 57 on the fifth floor, but hesitated before entering. I could hear shouting from inside, a mans fluent Cantonese shouting at a woman's timid, broken one that still had a strong Japanese accent. I think I'm really lucky I can speak both languages. That mans voice belongs to my mothers 'boyfriend',  Li Wei Shang, who is actually a customer of my gang, the Sun on Yee, although not a loyal one. He would never dare lay a hand on my mother, he knew the consequences, but he'll happily throw me about a bit, because if I hit back I know the consequences . I couldn't get rid of him, not with the ever present promise that a much younger Yumeka had made to her mother. That was to never hurt him and always show respect, because apparently he has given us a lot and we should be thankful. Bullshit, if only mum knew what he really is, but then again I would also be exposed for who I really am as well, and the one promise that my mother made me swear by was that I was to not ever enter mafia culture. That lasted until I was about thirteen.

I opened the door, dreading what was to come. I heard heavy footsteps hurrying closer to me, and when I turned round from closing the door I came face to face with Li.

"No, don't hurt her please! Get out of here Yumeka!" Her shouts were cut short when Li's fist hit my face, leaving a small trail of blood from my nose.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I kicked him in his stomach hard causing him to cripple over.

"This little shit stole my money, MC! I need it back" He was holding his stomach whilst pointing an accusing finger at me.

"Here it is, I didn't steal it, just borrowed it" I calmly placed 50 dollars onto the coffee table and paced along to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I could hear the shouting continuing but it had reduced to a more shouty conversation, if you could call it that.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, hands gripping the sink. Sighing, I took off my Adidas jacket to inspect a wound that was left there from this afternoon by a rather jagged hunting knife. It wasn't a deep cut but it was still bleeding and in need of stitches, I'm just mad the boy who cut me managed to cut into a tiny piece of my dragon tattoo that goes up my left arm. That shit was kinda expensive. Taking the medical kit I keep in a bathroom drawer, I began sewing close the wound with a medical needle and thread, then wrapped a bandage around it so it doesn't get caught. Halfway through my bandage work my phone rang, still in the pocket of my jacket.

"What do you want Sami?" Sami Cho is the nickname for my best friend in the Sun on Yee.

"Yumeka, I don't give a shit no more and everyone agrees with me, Li is three months behind his payment and he ratted us out to the cops this morning and that's why there was a drug bust down at the docks wear house, he know shit he ain't supposed to know. We gotta kill him, I don't care about your little promise to your Momma, just go tell her the truth, no point in lying. But we'll get him tonight, I'm sure you'll be joining in as well?" Sami's tone was final as he half shouted his demand down my phone. I don't think I could argue with him, not now. Too many times I've saved Li’s ass.

"Well shit Sami, nice to speak to you too. Umm... fuck, you really going to do this? My mums gonna kill me, and you ain't seeing me for a couple days either 'cuz I really gotta lay low if I ever want a chance to speak to my mum again. I know your right, and sure as hell I'll be the one killing that son of a bitch. Just come here at three or something, and don't ring the doorbell like last time, idiot" I whispered harshly down the phone, getting my point across. I've been waiting for the right excuse to get rid Li for a long time. I just turned nineteen last month so I've been an adult for some time now and I think I can handle the aftermath of my mother. Lame excuse, I know, but at least it's something.

I came out of the bathroom with my jacket crumpled in my hand shoving it in a dirty washing pile in a basket by the bathroom door. I felt the heaviness of my switch blade, phone and wallet in my front jean pocket, giving me some comfort at least. My next stop was the kitchen where I made a nice hot cup of coffee, just like my mum taught me, only this time I slip in a little sedative that I keep hidden in my medical kit.

"Hey, sorry 'bout that Li, I'll pay you back double and it won't ever happen again" I approached him with a weary smile and gestured for him to take the coffee off me.

"You better be you little shit, don't think your mum would appreciate me telling her all about her little mafia kid" He sneered at me, quiet enough so mum wouldn't hear from the bedroom and snatched the cup out of my hand, gulping down most of the laced beverage.

"Only thing your mum and you are good at, making fucking coffee" He laughed a little as he drained the other half of the cup before slamming it down on the coffee table and announcing that he was going to bed.

"Goodnight" I smiled at his back as he retreated to his bedroom that he shared with my mother. Now I only need to wait an hour, take my mum to the hotel round the block, and the rest will just be a good night out with my mates.

An hour passed of me lying on the couch and I could hear the thunderous snoring coming from the bedroom, time to make my move. I opened the door quietly and snuck up to my mums side and shook her awake.

"Mum, come with me. I need to get you out of here. Pack a small bag, your going for a trip" I whispered.

"Yumeka sweetie, it's two in the morning, it can't be that important" My sweet mother smiled up at me from her bed.

"I'll explain when we get there, but I really need you to do this for me. I'm in a bad situation and I really need your help, but we have to get away from here. Please mum, I love you" I whispered back at her whilst grabbing onto her hand, hoping my little performance would be convincing enough.

"You're scaring me now Yumeka, what kind of trouble are you in? Please don't tell me it's gang stuff!" Her voice broke halfway through her worried Japanese, almost like she was ready to cry. Maybe I was playing into her emotions too much, no time for crying, at least not now.

"Mum" I warned her with a hard voice. "Please do as I say. It's for your safety, not any one else's" I glared and regretted it as soon as it left my mouth, but it got the job done, 'cuz now my mums hurrying about the place packing essentials for at least three nights. She picks up her bag with shaky hands and headed to the front door.

"What about Li?" Mum turned around, finally saying something for the past ten minutes.

"Fuck Li, mum, just stay close to me. Where I can see you" I ushered her out of the door keeping a firm grip on her elbow, switchblade out of my pocket and in my other hand.

"Yumeka I don't like where this is going, why do you have a knife?" I gave her a side glance.

"You really need to be quiet, I'll explain later" I hurried her down the stairs and out onto the cold street and just as we turned round the corner, Sami and two of my other friends where there to greet me.

"Yumeka, how you doing? Go deal with your Momma and come straight back, we ain't gonna be waiting for long you know" Sami greeted me with a smile, almost like he hadn't seen me just a few hours ago when we were running from some cops down at the docks.

"Just give me ten minutes" I nodded and left.

"Who were those people? I'm seriously worried right now and I need answers" Mum gripped my knife free hand with her other hand.

"You'll know when we get there".

It took us only three minutes but we arrived in a stingy, run down one bed Hotel room. Good enough for one night.

"You better start talking Yumeka, I'm really freaking out over here. You're never like this" Mum sat at the end of the bed, holding the frame for some support.

“You’re really going to hate this mum, but I’m...sorta in...um. I’m a triad. And I’m in the Sun on Yee” After my little confession, I looked around the room awkwardly before sitting on a slightly dirty arm chair where I lit a cigarette.

“You’re what?! How could you do this to me! And for how long” Her last question was barely audible. Her face contorted as sobs racked her body. If I hadn’t been so eager to leave my mum and go kill Li, maybe then my heart would’ve broke a little.

“I was thirteen. I just started out as a drug runner, then my... talents got me promoted, you could say. Now I’m just like any other guy in the gang but I got special privileges so I can keep it a secret from you, since my boss wanted me to stay, ‘cuz apparently I’m a real good find talent wise” I shrugged my shoulders and took a long drag of my cigarette.

“So those dangerous looking guys back there, they’re your friends? And those tattoos, I should’ve known they’re gang related” Mum raised a shaky hand to wipe at her over spilling eyes.

“Yea, Sami is my best friend actually. Look I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got a job to do. I’ll be back in an hour, please don’t leave the room. Here’s some money for room service” I dropped 20 dollars onto the end of the bed near mums lap.

“You can’t just leave me here Yumeka, I can’t let you do that. You’re going to hurt Li aren’t you?! Yumeka please-”Her cries were cut short when I slammed the door on her, taking the only key card with me. It pained me, but it had to be done. I walked down the hallway of the hotel and I could still hear my mums crying and shouting.

“Don’t you dare fucking let her out” I snapped to a passing maid who cowered back in fear. If I had known how wrong I was, I would have never left my mothers side, but nether the less I walked to the elevators humming a giddy tune, excited for the job of taking down Li.

* * *

“Look who finally showed the fuck up!” Sami shouted in my direction as I headed round the back of the sky scraper apartment building.

“Look I got a little caught up, you know how my mum is” I laughed as he punched my arm. I looked down a few feet away from him, a battered and wheezing Li Wei Shang at the other guys feet staring up at me.

“Yu-Yumeka” He coughed up a wad of blood onto the pavement.

“Don’t fucking talk to me Li. You knew this day was coming” I spat at him and gave him a swift kick to his stomach, earning a scream and from what I could hear, a broken rib.

“You better start talking. Why’d you tell Li?! Why were there cops waiting for us at our hideout this afternoon. Why were there Ice Dragons too?!” I shouted in his face and took my switchblade, slashing his shoulder as an ear piercing scream flew out his mouth.

“Oh shut the fuck up” I stood over him and grabbed his sweaty blood stained face.

“I-I told them! To get extra money! T-they said I would have protection” Li whimpered.

“Protection? You already pay us protection money. Well, you’ve been lacking on those payments for three months now. I’ve been lenient Li, you gave me and my mother shelter and food, so I got you outta a lot of trouble. But not this time, little bitch” Taking my blade, I held it close to his throat, watching him start to really panic. I wasted no time and quickly slashed his throat, leaving him to bleed out.

“Come on guys, I got places to be”.

* * *

“Mum, you okay in there?” I softly knocked on the hotel door. No answer.

“Look. I know you hate me right now but I’m coming in. I’m really sorry mum” I mumble just loud enough so that she could hear. I scan the key card and step inside.

“Oh fuck, no no no no, fuck!” I smashed my closed fist against the wall leaving a bloody hole. Funny enough, that was probably the least worse of the damage. There were chairs overturned, a broken window and TV, glass every where. There was a sizeable patch of fresh blood on the pillow of the bed, that means her kidnappers couldn’t have gotten far. But before I could do anything about it, I was brought to my knees by fear, letting a few silent tears roll down my face.

I took a deep breath, collected myself and stood upright again. That little moment won’t happen again, I will find my mum.

“She sure as fuck ain’t dead” I whispered to comfort myself, but I did not expect a chilly voice and the sting of a needle at the side of my neck to be one that answered.

“That’s what they all say. Night night”

And then I was dreaming.

[sunflowerheartwriting]

Dragonic 16

A/N: This chapter was actually so long i had to break up into two parts! That next part will be posted next week since i have to edit it! :D thank you guys so much for staying with me, even with my crazy update schedule!! Of course you can read on FF.net and AO3! 

With the weeks flying by, the two settled into a comfortable routine, neither of them ready to talk about their feelings. Levy would read in his office when her chores were done, while he looked over paperwork. More often than not, she would get curious with what he was doing and would ask if she could help. He would bounce ideas and solutions off of her, the two not holding back whenever it came to a debate whenever they disagreed. Lily would just lay and observe the two with an amused smile, not in any hurry to add his own opinion. Close to the end of the day, they would resume their tutoring before retiring to their own rooms.

This day seemed like any other as Levy straightened the King’s office, putting papers in the right files before wiping down his desk. The sound of tinkling, metal lightly bumping into each other was her first indication that someone was entering the library. She looked over to Lily, who was now sitting up in a relaxed manner, his tail swishing lazily. Guessing that someone familiar was approaching them and not an enemy, eased her worry.

But, Gajeel walking in clad head-to-toe in his armor was not what she expected. She observed him with a raised brow and small smirk, drinking every last inch of him in. For some reason, he looked way hotter in his armor than she remembered. The black and gold metal was polished, so was the sword that was strapped to his hip, his right hand resting lazily on the golden handle.

“I haven’t seen you wear that since the first time we met.” She said, leaning her hip on the edge of the desk. “Why is that?”

“You like what you see, eh?” He teased, earning a light blush and a shrug. She very much did like what she sees, but she wasn’t going to outright admit it, but she knew he knew. Chuckling, he stepped towards her, his form seeming a lot bigger and more regal like the King he was. “I wanted to seem less intimating as possible, while you were getting used to your new surroundings. Plus, this thing gets pretty hot in the summer time.”

“So, why are you wearing it now?”

“Because we’ve been stuck inside for weeks now, and need to get out, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” He declared taking her hand, pulling her lightly away from the desk as if coaxing her to follow him. She did without question, their hands still held tightly together as he led her to his room.

She looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to tell her what exactly they were doing outside his door. As if reading her mind, he spoke, “get dressed, Lily and I will be waiting for you out here.” He opened the door for her, nudging her in with a slight push on her lower back.

Taking the steps needed into his room she was instantly entranced by the light pink piece of fabric that seemed out of place on the black comforter. When the door closed with a click, she stripped out of her maid uniform, before putting on the off the shoulder pink dress. Smoothing out the knee length skirt, she admired the little white flowers that decorated the surface reminding her of daisies. Switching out her black ribbon for the white one that matched the strappy sandals that lay on the bed, she felt an uneasy feeling taking over her.

This is wrong, so wrong. She didn’t deserve any of the things he was giving her. His love, attention, and trust. Not when she was unsure of what she wanted to do with her own feelings, whether that was bottling them or telling him everything. What will she do when he finally did get the confidence to express his feelings? Reject him? No, to reject a King would be foolish and suicidal. Any other ruler would have a girls head on a platter if they denied their advances, but Gajeel’s different. If she did reject him, he wouldn’t hurt her.

A sad smile curled her lips at the thought of knowing he’ll do the opposite. He would probably try to woe her and earn her affection….even though he already has it.

Taking a few hesitant footsteps with these thoughts swirling in her mind, she took a deep breath, steeling herself to open the door. His broad back was facing her, the sound of the door opening wider causing him to turn around. With wide eyes and a blush as pink as her dress, he took her in, Levy shifting uneasily under his gaze. Wringing her fingers, she asked, “How do I look?”

“Beautiful,” he whispered in the common tongue, loud enough for her to hear, getting a wide smile in return. A soft growl made her look down at the feline, Lily approving of her appearance.

Taking the arm he held out, she wrapped her hand around his armored bicep. “Where are we going?” She asked, as he led them out of the castle and towards the waiting carriage.

“Gotta make a few stops in town and thought we would do them instead of one of the errand boys. Plus, Wendy made me some more motion sickness medicine, so I’m all fit for a little travel.” He waggled his pierced eyebrows, Levy giggling at the sight.

She sat across from Gajeel with Lily resting his head in her lap as she peered out the window watching the castle grounds pass by opening up for the town’s landscape. They first stopped at the hospital, Levy happy to hear that the patients treatments were progressing smoothly. As they were leaving, a wagon pulled up, some of Gajeel’s men bringing in the freshly washed linen, Porlyusica directing them where to take it as she met them at the door.

They made a few more stops at the town hall to deliver papers, farmers market to check up on this year’s produce, and the trader’s hall. Levy was at first nervous, knowing the rumors that were circling her sudden appearance in town, but there were a lot more welcoming people than she thought. Not everyone was against her she realized, as she was fawned over by the women at the farmers market. She felt like a little kid going to grandma’s house as they pinched her cheeks, told her how pretty she was and disproving of how skinny she was. They tried to give her fruits and vegetables as presents loading anything they could grab into her arms. Declining wasn’t an option, so a basket full of produce was what they left with when they went on to the next stop.

When they were leaving the trader’s hall, Levy couldn’t keep her eyes off of Gajeel a faint smile curling her lips.

“What?” he questioned, with suspicious squinted eyes. “What’s with that look?”

Shaking her head, she couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face. “You’re a very good King; you care about your people and it shows by how much they trust and respect you. I don’t really know what I expected when you told me we were going to do some of the errands, but I’m glad it was better than I could imagine.”

To be honest, she expected some of the people to be afraid of him or cower from his gaze, but it wasn’t like that at all. Everyone welcomed him with open arms, a slap on the back or a kiss to the cheek.

Whenever someone expressed their concerns he listened intently, giving them his full attention, before giving them a solution or saying he’ll figure out way to help them. It was a big shock, but she was glad he wasn’t perceived as a monstrous king.

His cheeks tinted a light pink as he thanked her, clearing his throat from the embarrassment of her praise. “My father taught me everything I needed to know to be a good ruler. He was even harder around the edges than I am, but he was still a great leader. Always there to lend an ear, no matter how small the problem.”

With them back in the carriage, Levy rubbed Lily’s head as she observed the melancholy look on Gajeel’s face. “Do you miss him?”

A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned his head back admiring the ceiling with sudden interest. “I do. Some days are harder than others,” he admitted, “but, lately it’s been easier now that I have a little fairy bossing me around.”

Levy lightly kicked his shin earning a soft chuckle from him. “I am not bossy,” she murmured, as she turned to look out the window attempting to hide her blush. She was ready to give him another smart retort when something caught her eye, a soft gasp escaping her lips as she leapt closer to the window.

“Is that a bookstore?” she squealed, watching as the building slowly went out of sight to be dwarfed by the other buildings.

A hard knock on the ceiling caused her to turn her attention away from the window and towards Gajeel, feeling the carriage slow to a stop.

“I almost forgot,” he hummed more to himself, thanking the guard as he opened the door for them. “I want you to meet someone.”

Levy wrapped her hand around his arm instinctively, as he led them to the bookstore, her interest peaking as her attention bounced between him and the building. The bell above the door announced their presence as Gajeel opened the door wider so she could walk in first. The soft playing of classical music and faint smell of cinnamon tickled her nose as she observed the store with wide eyes. The inside was bigger than the outside presumed, with the walls lined with books and a few short bookshelves. A few couches and chairs circled a coffee table in the middle of the room, a couple of novels on display for anyone willing to take interest.

“Gajeel! Lily!” A croaky voice exclaimed, rounding the checkout counter. “My! My! Look at you two!” A short old man, dressed in a brown sweater and pants with glasses hanging around his neck approached them with open arms. Levy was stunned to hear Dragonic spoken so smoothly from a regular person, but if he knows Gajeel then there’s no way he’s an ordinary person.

“Mr. Maki,” Gajeel embraced the old man, bending slightly to accommodate for the height. “It’s been awhile haven’t it?”

“You’re a busy man, I can’t fault you for that. Now who is this young lady you have with you?” He asked, putting his glasses on leaning in closer to inspect Levy features. She was still in shock that she almost missed Gajeel introducing them to each other.

“This is Levy McGarden. Levy, this is Mr. Maki. He was one of my father’s closest friends and he used to let me stay here whenever my dad did business in town. I was a huge brat and I’m still surprised he let me stay here.”

The old man dismissed him with a wave, “ah, you were nothing compared to your father. If I could handle him, I could handle anyone.”

The feeling of familial warmth radiated from the two, as if the time the two hasn’t seen each other was nothing but a few days. And if what she read about Metalicana was correct, then this man being a close friend of his was very special and also explains why he speaks the language so well. The former King rarely trusted anyone besides his family and she could swear she read that name before or some form of it.

A guard walking in, interrupted their moment as he stood in the doorway with a bow. Gajeel sighed, clasping the man lightly on the shoulder, “I have one more stop to make, but is it ok if my friend roam around your shop?”

“Any friend of yours, is a friend of mine. You go now and bring us back some dumplings from Yajima’s. I’m sure he’ll be glad to see your face as well.” Gajeel agreed, shooting Levy a wink before leaving with the guard.

Levy turned to the old man that was a few inches shorter than her with him hunched over slightly, a wide smile curling his lips. “I never thought he would be bring a girl over the next time he visited, much less the one that was rumored to be his mistress.” He spoke switching back to the common language.

Her heart sank and her smile dropped at his words. How much has he heard and what exactly does he believe? Does he believe everything he’s heard?

The old man let out a raspy chuckle patting her shoulder. “Don’t worry, child. I don’t believe a word those gossipers say. What I believe is what I see and I see that Gajeel loves you, especially since he brought you here. Quite funny that he would fall in love with his old tutor’s daughter, though.”

“You knew my father?” her voice was shaky as she searched the old man’s eyes. When he nodded, she felt like all the air was released from her body as she leaned forward on a chair for support. Her mind was in even more shambles as she absent-mindly walked around the chair to plop down in it. “How-How do you know him?”

The old man took a seat across from her, Lily stretching out beside her. “I wasn’t just Gajeel’s father old friend; I was his academic advisor. I was the one who suggested your father tutor Gajeel.”

“My father tutored Gajeel? I-I didn’t know. Why didn’t he tell me?”

The old man gave her a sympathetic smile, his eyes softening at her shocked gaze. “Maybe he thought you weren’t ready to know or he was just so entranced by your beauty that he forgot.” Levy’s attention switched back to him, laughing lightly at his suggestion. She knew he said it to make her smile, and she was grateful.

Maybe he really did forget to mention it, especially with Lullaby plaguing the kingdom. How could she be upset with him for putting his attention on more important matters, like the health of his people?

“Can you tell me anything you remember about him? About my father.”

Rubbing the gray stubble on his chin, the old man reclined back in his seat pondering for a few moments before telling her everything he could remember. Her father always gushed about his intelligent daughter, showing anyone willing a picture of the little blue haired girl. He was very good at his job, one of the best even and was the prime choice to tutor the very stubborn prince Gajeel and many others. Any job invitation he got that was too far away from his family, he respectively declined, his reasoning not wanting to be away from his wife and daughter for too long.

“They grow up so fast and I want to be there for everything she experience, before it’s too late.” Mr. Maki said mimicking her father’s voice, making her eyes water, a goofy smile on her face.  

“That’s sounds like something he would say. I only knew him as my father and always wondered what type of man he was as a professional. I did see him work with the kids in our town, but I never got to see him when he was serious.” Wiping a stray tear that fell, she thanked him with a bow of her head.

“No need to thank me. Your father was very kind and I’ll be happy to tell you more, whenever I remember them. Your memory fades with old age, you know.” Standing up with a loud pop of his stiff joints and a groan, the old man chuckled exclaiming, “sounds worse than it is. I’m going to get us some tea and sweets. We have much to discuss.” He declared before disappearing into the back of the store which she guess housed a small kitchen and office.

Lily stretched with a yawn, telling Levy he’ll be back. “Need to use the litter box?” The look Lily shot her clearly saying, ‘how dare you?’ caused a bubble of laughter to erupt from her chest.  

“I do not use a litter box. I am not some domesticated house cat.” He growled out with an irritated swish of his tail.

Raising her hands in defeat she laughed, “I apologize, and please carry on.” Lily left with a huff out the front door, using his mouth to turn the doorknob.

Deciding to stretch her legs too, Levy took to walking around the bookstore observing the array of genres and languages of books the old man carried. She was thoroughly impressed but not surprised by the range of his selection. Mentally, she took notes on the books she would like to borrow from the old man, the next time they came.

The door opening and closing with a soft click, made Levy put the book she was holding back on the shelf. “Lily, that was fast. I thought you-oh, I’m sorry.” She spoke peaking her head from behind one of the shelves, expecting to see Lily, but meeting two men instead. They looked sickly pale, with sweat coating their skin and snot running out of their nose only for them to sniffle it back in. They were both skinny, but looked strong enough to handle their own and by the look of their dirt covered overalls and boots she guessed they were farmers.

Either way she welcomed them while Mr. Maki was busy, “Welcome, is there anything I can help you guys with?”

A/N: fun story (not really): i went to my twin sister's baby shower and her husbands family is HUGE!!! I come from a very small family so it was fun and overwhelming to have all these old ladies fawning over me. They thought i was in high school and was surprised that i was 23 >.< (They thought i was the baby sister) All that's to say is that i thought levy needed some ally's in the town and needed some old ladies to fawn over her too! but i got lots of cookies instead of produce! :D

[inkstaineddove]

A Boy and His Fritz

Pairing: Prussia/Frederick the Great

Characters: Prussia, Frederick the Great

Summary: Someone corners Prussia about his relationship with Frederick the Great. Prussia repeats their sorry history confronting many emotions he would've preferred to keep in the past.

He was always obnoxious, arrogant, way too prideful and stubborn. He was a prince. He was my prince. I should've expected as much, but he still found new ways to surprise me. Like that bullshit with von Katte, but that's later. We gotta get to the early stuff. He pissed me off. God, I couldn't stand him for the longest time. His dad was my boss so that had something to do with it, for sure. Frederick William only wanted compliance. I was the first person he got it so completely from, never questioning what he demanded of me. Vader, Germania, he died when I was pretty young. I was always eager to please my kings to get one of them to see me as their own son. Frederick William was easiest to imagine it happening with cause he hated his kids so much. He was so hard on them. Beating them with canes and calling them things I can't repeat even now...my God. It was a mess. I’ve got no room to judge. I can’t claim any moral superiority. I participated, I helped, I believed he was in the right at the time. Especially with Fritz. It hurts when the heir to the throne only speaks French, only wants to dress French, read French, and pretty much wants to be French. It hurts when he rejects everything that your nation represents. The only thing I had then was the military. He rejected that, thought it was unimportant when the arts and literature and playing his fucking flute were more important. Heh, maybe I'd still be around if he'd stuck to his guns on that principle. Then again, I'd be like Bavaria or some shit and I don't think I could handle that. 

I remember when he tried sneaking away to England with his boyfriend. It was the only thing he’d done until then that I’d respected. The kid had balls to get that many people to disobey the king and help him sneak off. Especially cause he managed to make it so they didn't even get their hands dirty. Ja, I was furious because it felt like he was running away from me instead of just the king. It was real personal. When he got back, I hit him. I hit him and I cursed him out. The look in his eyes then. He didn't see me as any different than his father. I was an extension of him, the embodiment of everything he'd wanted to escape from. It was disgusting. I was disgusting. I never apologized to him for that. For how I treated him for his entire princedom. I always meant to. I always found a reason to pussy out. Funny, huh? I'll run head-on towards an army that'll crush mine without fear, but I'll always chicken out whenever it comes to people. Guess I'm a bit of a coward. Ya'know what it was like watching his boyfriend die? Katte, he didn’t do anything wrong. We knew back then he had tried to stop Fritz. It was all for show. If Frederick William couldn’t kill his son then he needed to kill somebody. Katte happened to be the death that would hurt the most. The poor guy, even his last words were for Fritz. How much he loved him, how loyal he was, how he'd die like this a thousand times. It was so sappy. Wish someone would say that for me when I go. I don't know which image haunts me more - the actual beheading or the aftermath. Seeing Fritz starve himself, lock himself in his cell for days, refusing to talk to anyone or respond to letters. It was scary. He didn’t want anyone to look after him. Frederick wanted to die and, even worse, the king would’ve been fine with it.  Later on - years later, close to his death - I told Fritz what I'd done. I confessed to him how I'd been in the camp encouraging the execution of Katte. I had been double dealing, going back and forth and telling Frederick William what wasn’t mentioned in official reports. I collapsed at his feet, clinging tightly to Fritz's hand as I begged for forgiveness. He didn't respond for the longest time. I was pretty sure he hated me again. If he did, I don't think I could've handled that. I looked up, saw a few tears running down his cheeks. He pulled me up and held me close. He told me I'm a bastard, that of course he forgives me, told me I was the only one he had left and made me promise to never mention the event again. Shit, I feel like his ghost is gonna haunt me now for this. Should I mention his wife? He sure as well never did. Poor Elisabeth. I kept trying to get her to go back to her family in Brunswick. Go someplace where she was wanted and where she was loved. That woman was the epitome of stand by your man. She refused. She actually loved him. She cherished the few times she would see him, the few letters he'd send her. None of it was romantic. He was always really formal around her, but who was I to burst her bubble. The marriage made Fritz somewhat happy and the king very happy. I was content cause my job was easier and how gay he was would get around soon enough. Voltaire really did an awesome job with that. There was such a buzz when he became king. I found myself dragged into it as well, despite technically mourning Frederick William still. I know he denounced Machiavelli a few months before, but that was bullshit. This was an exciting time for us. He’d study our armies with such frantic energy, continiously reforming and expanding them. War was coming. Of course, I was gonna win! It's me! I don't lose when I've got a great leader. I'm too awesome for that shit. The Silesian Wars. What started it all. Meeting Austria face-to-face in the field kept me alive for centuries. From then till the Seven Year’s War, that was the climax of our little rivalry. People can claim the Austro-Prussian War as it, but what do they know? They weren't alive then, they weren't alive for any of it. Only him and I know when it was. And it was in our fights for Silesia, for more than Silesia. That was just a front. It was always about who'd become the dominant force among the rest of our family. Who’d control the Germanic states. Ya'know, sometimes I wish he would've won it all. I wish that he'd kicked me out of unification. Maybe I'd still be on a map. Maybe I'd be allowed at these meetings and would have my contributions to history be seen as a positive thing instead of a thing leading up to...well, you know. It's the most pointless fantasy, but I always slip into it. Can you really blame me? Dammit, I keep getting sidetracked. There's so much in this shit, it’s impossible to not think about everything. This was the best time of my life, but it’s all so bittersweet. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’d wished they’d gone on longer or if they’d never happened. Shit, that's unawesome to confess to. I'll go on. France and Saxony were absolutely useless in the Silesian Wars. It was all me. Ja, they were technically there, but what did they do? I carried the weight. I was the true hero of the day. I don't mind. It's my name that goes down for the win. The recognitions all that matters in the end, right?  Fritz was in the limelight. He was the talk of Europe and he knew it. Everyone was intrigued by us, trying to guess our next move. We were a powerful team. I'm not surprised Napoleon studied us so much. I would too if I were him. We had courtiers from France, Britain, even fucking Russia knocking on our door! You know what was awesome about Fritz? He told them all to fuck off. Didn't want anything to do with them. He just wanted to be left alone with his friends, his dogs, and his flute. I think that's where I got that from. The period between the Silesian Wars and the Seven Years War, that was the good time. He wasn't a paternalistic man in the slightest. He had no desire for kids and wasn’t always sure what to do with them. But he regarded me like I'd imagine a father treats his son. Hell, he let me start calling him ‘dad’ around this time. I really only started calling him ‘Old Fritz’ when he was gone. Figured everyone would find it weird if I was still calling my old boss my dad.  We lived without a care then. He taught me flute, we composed together, wrote together. He would take me to the opera and theater every chance he could. He always made time for me. I don't think I left his side during this time except to shit and sleep. He was proud of my terrible poetry. God, it was awful. It’s hidden somewhere in West’s basement. It’s too painful to look at. He taught me French - against my will, but it was the royal language so he made it mandatory even for me - and English. He'd sit out in the gardens to read and watch me hunt. Fritz thought it was a dumb thing to enjoy, but he always managed to act proud of what I caught. Then war hit again. We had a minor disagreement in perspective on that. Some would say I was overconfident in my chances, but others would say he was incredibly pessimistic and a bit rude about ours. Maybe he realized the threat of Russia, Sweden, France, and Austria against us better than I did originally, but at least I had gusto. Despite that, we were both going to fight it whether it killed us and everyone really wanted to kill us. The Miracle of the House of Brandenburg is the only thing that saved us. Again, historians don't know jack shit when they define it. They claim it was the death of the Tzarina and the rise of her nephew that was obsessed with me. I'm not kidding, I swear he had a crush on me. I don’t blame him, but it was a different time. He should’ve been more discreet. The real miracle was that Fritz didn't kill himself or abdicate like he kept promising to do. With anyone else on the throne, even with her death we would've lost. Taking on France and a vengeful, bloodthirsty Austria required skill back then that only Fritz and I had. We won by the skin of our teeth. Fritz had to carry me back to Potsdam after treaty negotiations. I was barely conscious. For weeks after that I was knocked out. Apparently I kept hallucinating and thought I was a kid again. Healing was a slow process since my entire body took so much damage, including Berlin. It took a month for the heartburn to go away.   When I finally came to, I never left his side. We shared a bedroom. He'd lost so much of his family during that war. He was afraid of being alone. He clung to me and Voltaire, which I didn’t approve of. Voltaire was a gossip and a prick, always in the pocket of France’s court if Francis could cough up enough money. He was a shit spy anyway, but when have the French been known for their intelligence? Anyways, I did whatever he wanted. His fingers became too swollen and stiff and he was losing all his teeth, so I would play the flute for him. I'd run through his favorites or create new things on the spot. I'd play for hours on end if he wanted. I just wanted to make him happy again. I'd missed seeing him smile. We'd walk around the gardens at lunch. That was always when he reflected on his life to me. At the time, I thought it was really fucking weird. I'd been through everything with him. I knew it all and I'd seen it all. Made more sense for him to tell his biographers this shit. Not like I could go out and immortalize it in some book other than my diaries. I didn't appreciate it until Bismarck started making a name for himself. Then I finally understood the appeal. It's hard to explain why exactly. I just do. It gives me more of him to think about. It's more than having one of his hats or walking sticks or still being allowed to live in Sans Soucci. It's him. It's how he saw things. A person's perspective is more valuable than any material object. Fuck, I've really turned into a sentimental old man, haven't I? I used to say his death was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Dissolution beats it, but only by a small amount. The mythos is true, by the way. The clock in his room did stop at the exact time he died. I've got no fucking idea what he was doing up that early, but that’s how he was. Maybe he knew he was dying and wanted to meet his last adversary ready. That's how I like to think about it. I like to think it was painless. I know he was smiling. He looked so relaxed, like he finally got what he wanted all along. I woke up to the body. Sometimes I fall asleep still seeing it. They had to pull me away from him. I was sobbing, hugging him close. Maybe if I prayed hard enough, one of our Gods would give him some of my immortality. I think my prayer backfired. Seems like I'm starting to get some of his mortality, huh? Ain't the world funny. No, fuck you, I'm not crying. There's just some shit in my eye. Mind your own business. Do you think he'd be proud of me? I'm not talking about me as Prussia. I know he wouldn’t cause all his hard work went to shit. All his hard won land is now apart of a German state he didn't want, Austria, a country he helped remove from the map, Russia, and Lithuania. So that's definitely a disappointment. I want to know if he's proud of me, Gilbert. From 1740 onward, I always tried to make him proud. I only wanted to do what he would think is best, make him smile from beyond the grave. Do you think he is? I think so. I have to. Sometimes, that thought is the only one that keeps me going. 

[magic5ball]

Nature Trail to Hell Arc IV: Megamart of Darkness (7)

Chapter 7: ATTACK THE WEGMART! ATTACK LIKE YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!

           Picture this: You’re a Wegmart greeter; just gotten up for the morning shift. You go through the motions, waving your hand and eating from a bag of whatever it is Wegmart Greeter Guys eat (I suspect its’ the same stuff they feed mall cops), when suddenly, you see something BIG on the horizon, even bigger than the trucks that deliver every physical object known to man to the store. But as far as your hazy mind is concerned, its’ just another day in white walled, air conditioned paradise. As it gets closer, the thing starts to block out the sun, leaving you a tad chilly. Still, you keep the same old routine: smile and wave, wave and smile. After all, you are Wegmart’s Greeter Guy, that makes you immortal, in its’ own way. Still, as it grows nearer, you get a tad nostalgic. You recognize the giant black mass as a choo-choo train, the kind you collected as a kid, except this one is the size of your HOUSE. And at the sides, several squat, waddling figures donning birthday hats are hauling in along with ropes, like they’re carrying some giant birthday present. You recognize the little guys as those cute white-cheeked geese who’re always trying to get in. Still, you know from experience there’s no way some pwecious widdle birds can touch you. After all, to kill you would mean war, a war they could never hope to win! They finally stop when the choo-choo is inches from your face. One of the geese waddles up to you with a post-it-note in its’ mouth. You take the note from it; read it. Since the sun’s so bright and your eyes are still kinda crusty, you have to turn around to do it, so the note faces the light.  

We, the citizens of the glorious kingdom of Keystonia, hereby cede our territories to the great and glourious Wegmart Empire! Heil Wegmart!

           You roll your eyes at that last part. When you look up again, the geese have gone, leaving just you and the massive hunk of steel and cylinders. Part of you wonders if you should show the thing to your boss. The other part wonders how awesome this thing would look in your garage. While you’re busy fantasizing, scheming, and dreaming (you know, the thing your boss told you never to do), you barely notice as steam starts puffing from the engine’s sides (it does blend in well with the morning fog). And how about that whistle? You can almost hear it!

And too late, you realize how bad you done screwed up. The great black engine lurches forward, too fast for you to react, only halting once it hits your body. For a split second you stand there smiling smugly. You’re the Wegmart Greeter, the company’s most valuable piece of property! This dopey engine can’t touch you!

At least, it can’t until you realize you’re starting to crack around the edges. Behind the engine, a great cloud blackens the sky. At least, what you think it’s a cloud until you realize it’s a flock of birds, more birds than you have ever seen in your lifetime, casting the whole of Wegmart in shadow.

It is the last thing your wrinkly old face will ever see.

.   .   .

           At least, I figure that’s the last thing Greeter Guy ever saw. I couldn’t see because Bokrug and I were stuffed in Baldwin’s smokebox (all part of the plan).

So where was I, again? Right! Raid on Wegmart!

Once we mowed over the Greeter, the sliding doors were a cakewalk by comparison. Not only that, but thanks to Bokrug, we had recruited an army of almost every bird in the state, from blue herons to budgies to even an alligator (who was mostly just there for the free nachos we promised him)! After that was a bit of a different story. The brown baggers, having sensed a disturbance in the Mart, quickly erected a barricade of gallon sized bags of cereal and pet chow between us and the inner aisles. Still, we kept the heat on, even as they started firing their laser scanners at us, then bringing in the RC helicopters loaded with their Shamwow bullets. It wasn’t long before Baldwin started taking heavy damage.

“This…better…land…me…in the New Yorker.” He chuffed and puffed right before a stray penny got lodged in his wheel, causing him to explode into a million pieces.

The brown baggers were started enough to let their guard down. Just what we wanted. Bokrug and I exploded out of the smokebox, me pushing a shopping cart with one hand and the goose riding it the basket like a baby. Speaking of shopping carts, some realized what was going down and decided to join the winning team, acting as mounts for our avian army. As for my free hand, I had it on the trigger of my tommy gun, pumping anyone dumb enough to mess with me full of lead.

“Forward!” The goose honked, so loud it shattered every pane of glass within a mile. “The defenses are breached! Woe is you, fools who would steal our sacred LARPing grounds! For DOOM has come to your establishment!”

           And as the final layer of icing on the epicness cake, Bokrug snatched some poor sap’s finger in his beak, tore it off, and swallowed the thing whole! He did this several times, flipping digits into his mouth like they were fishsticks! As for me, I was shooting everything from store clerks to RC helicopters everyday til’ Wednesday, trying my best to make sure not to hit Bokrug. (Not easy, seeing how a million stray laserbeams seemed to be heading our way at once).

At some point, Bokrug snatched my tommy gun away from me.

“Hey!” I cried. What’d you do that for?!”

Several bullets rang out of the tommy gun, hitting several liter bottles of soda. They exploded instantly.

“With all due respect my friend” countered the goose “Your marksmanship is terrible! Who taught you to shoot? Deinonychus?”

As much as I was tempted to snap, I had to hand it to the Bokster: despite lacking any opposable thumbs, he was a much better shot than I was.

Together, we charged down the aisles, leaving a path of destruction in our wake.

I could almost hear a heavy metal band in the distance, goading us on.

“So what exactly are we looking for?!” I hollered.

“The Spring of Immortality, you fool! Imagine the most glorious wellspring of pristine water you have ever seen! ”

“So my school’s water fountain?”

The great bird gave a deep bellow, which I guess was his way of laughing. “Such a paltry human construction is but naught against the glory of the spring! Now hurry. I fear our army might not last much longer!”

Can’t say I had much time to pay attention, seeing I was still dodging a million targets at once, but the glimpses I caught weren’t good. Our army wasn’t the most skilled, but they were held in place by confidence and sheer numbers. We might have gotten an early lead, but without the Baldwin, the Megamart’s bargain priced weapons were mowing down our feathered friends like my Dad mows grass: so fine you almost think it’s’ AstroTurf. A pile of birds lay on the ground that would make Audobon roll in his grave. It wouldn’t be long before we’d have to make a tactical retreat we just couldn’t afford.

           So Bokrug and I sped from aisle to aisle, eyes peeled for even the slightest glimpse of water. But the only aqua pura in our cards were some ‘Buy 1, get 1 Free!’ signs for bottled water.

Well, also one other thing.

As we passed the cereal aisle for the fifth time (he was really insistent on searching everywhere) I couldn’t help but notice a little something strung to the sides of the shelves. You know: go to any big name Megamart, and nine times out of ten, they’ll have some gimmicky kitchen gadget or kiddie toy strung up next to the food, suckering some dumb fool into spending a few extra cents.

In this case, that toy was those little pills that turn into foam dinosaurs when you add water.

When I tried telling this to Bokrug, all he did was grumble. “So it is not enough they take our sacred spring of immortality from us? Now they encase my brethren in spaces too small for even a compsognathus?! And yet they would call me a monster?! These demons must pay!”

           Didn’t stop me from snagging a packet as we went past, though. Figured if it all went to crap, then darn it, I was getting something for my trouble! Speaking of trouble, that’s exactly what we were heading into, and not just because we passed the board game section! Or maybe it was, since some wiseguy realized it would be a swell idea to scatter a bunch of game pieces in our path. I steered like the devil, but just as we were about to go to the next aisle, a stray six-sided die landed right beneath our wheel, launching the back part of the cart forward and sending us flying like baseballs.

Balls.

Suddenly it hit me, almost as hard as my body when it hit the jack-covered linoleum floor.

“Hey, I think I know where the spring might be- to the Summer Clearance Sail!”

I ran, the goose waddling behind, nipping anyone foolish enough to get in his way.

“And what is this ‘Summer Clearance Sale’ of which you speak?”

“Right there!” I cried, pointing to a giant inflatable sun hanging from the ceiling in a corner of the store. “They always have craptons of exotic flavored water they’re trying to pawn off! And some of that water just might be from your spring!”

Bokrug growled, but this time his ire was not directed at our enemies.

“Fool! Why did you not tell me of this earlier?!”

“Look, there’s a lot of lasers flying around and I’m really stressed, okay?!”

Several laser scans shot holes straight through Bokrug’s feathers, sending them flying. Whatever time we had was quickly running out. All we could do was run.

Me in front, goose trailing, we traveled to our fate, to our destiny…

To the Aisle at the End of the World.