#also back to the post this year we conquer the pig!

[presdestigatto]

breaking my silence i fully believe charles is winning in vegas

[illwilledomen]

Finally after procrastinating for way too long I’m going to share my headcanons about the ancient Humans in the minecraft world - Aka The Ancient Builders!

Ok let’s get this out the way first - from now on, when I say ‘humans’, I mean the folk who are typically referred to as ‘the ancient builders’ by theorists. The elusive ancient people who built all the majority of the strange abandoned structures in the Overworld and Nether, can live and die once and that’s it, and are just normal Homo sapiens - and most importantly, are, excluding Players, extinct. I’ll also refer to them as ‘ABs’. When I say ‘players’ I mean the genetically altered humans that have more than one life, heightened strength durability and adaptability and are what you play as in Minecraft.

First off, in this post I will talk about Humans (ABs) - and in a second follow up post, I’ll talk about Players (Steve and Alex as my examples).

Originally, 2 major hominids ruled the similarly earth-sized temperate high oxygen planet which is known as The Overworld. There was Homo Testificate, whom what we now know as Villagers and Illagers, but during those times were one group and kind of did their own thing and Homo sapiens which are humans. Humans were by far the most technologically advanced civilization at the time, and had conquered all corners of the globe. They had harnessed the fantastical power of magic, and had a plethora of rich cultures and languages - the most common language being the ancestral language for CEL (Common Enchanting Language). A golden era of innovation and exploration had begun as the humans had discovered other alien dimensions existed - potentially thousands - hosting a plethora of bizarre environments, beings (potentially sapient ones) and most importantly, riches and resources.

The first dimension the humans discovered was The Nether. This fiery chasm had similar laws of physics and a vaguely similar physical makeup to the Overworld, however it was extremely humid and hot as an oven, it’s oceans not of water but molten rock and it’s lakes not of liquid but of gaseous water vapour which only became liquid in the coldest regions of the endless chasm or boiling in pockets underneath geysers.

The Nether was a natural sister dimension to The Overworld. Imagine the Overworld as a tree and the Nether a branch.

Millions of years prior to humans, natural portals formed in extremely rare circumstances where a hard, igneous rock meets a sudden and extreme heat - a common instance of these portals were wildfires occurring in geologically active areas. Due to these natural portals, Overworld life seeped into the Nether, however Nether beings rarely lasted long in the Overworld due to the lack of heat. The most adaptable Overworld beings survived within the alien realm - Fungi and hardy omnivorous creatures such as small pigs and insects. However, the animals were far trumped by the more formidable native beings of the realm (Ghasts, striders, various other Nether alien animals). Fungi passed with flying colours due to the humid and dark environment, feeding off of the foracious cycle of life and death within the Nether and fitting into it’s ecosystem with relative ease.

Originally, a few of these portals natural portals were discovered, documented and explored by humans. Very few of these humans brave enough to enter came back alive (understandably) but those who did return (and soon died of permanent lung problems and 3rd degree burns) told tales of a land of no sun, crimson porous rock, warped beasts and unbearable heat. A land of blood, sweat and tears. Not exactly someone’s #1 holiday destination. However, there was also great amounts of gold and other resources, which enticed the extradimensional pioneers. Souls were already a pre established ecological basis in the Overworld - and a key feature in magic, if not the entire fuel for it - but the Nether was ample with souls, it’s entire web of ecosystems based entirely off of them so much there were literal entire valleys that functioned as soul sinks where souls would condense and infuse with the soil.

And so, slowly but surely, humans dipped their toes into the alien inferno, and reaped the benefits. If they weren’t already powerful, they certainly were now. Potion brewing, extradimensional travel (and as a result, teleportation) and various other branches of magic were extensively studied due to the new knowledge given by the Nether, and many colonies within the dimension were established.

Anyway, this sounds all well and good except it absolutely wasn’t. For one, the nether was preoccupied. There was an entire species of sentient being - the Piglin - who had previously been relatively content and undisturbed until a bunch of freaky monkey aliens came and took all their shit and started obsessing over a bunch of wailing sand. Secondly, countless amounts of humans died or otherwise suffered permanent health problems because of the lack of knowledge of what the Nether and condensed souls do to their bodies, especially in those first few years of exploration. Crimson and warped spores will ruin your lungs, radiation poisoning isn’t particularly good for you and the alien life - particularly ghasts - weren’t quite so docile and meek like the cows, chickens and sheep of the Overworld.

Things were understandably tense between Piglin and Humankind. The Piglin weren’t just going to let the humans mine up all the gold and (then far more common and purer) netherite and tear apart their land willy nilly and the humans wanted some of that Sweet Sweet Soul Stuff and also nearly indestructible material such as Netherite would be a bonus. Threats of a war between the two groups were on the horizon and so the humans forged fearsome golems known as Blaze who guarded their colonies. The Piglin fortified their then intact bastions for war, designing them in a way knowing the humans were weak and inexperienced with the dangers of the nether compared to them.

However, in the end, it was too late for a war.

MEANWHILE - Another dimension had been discovered by researchers - The End. This place was far more elusive and bizarre. It was a land of eternal darkness and void - timeless, sunless and it’s floating landmasses seperated not by waters but by empty, infinite void. This land was inhabited by the strange Endermen. These Enderfolk were a hive mind, connected in a web of consciousness known as the Chorus which I have talked about before (just look it up on my acc it’s one of my most popular posts). The humans were intimidated by these creatures hyperintelligence (despite the Endermen not being outwardly aggressive) and while already being paranoid about their other extradimensional neighbours, they constructed a gigantic mechanical entity to oppress the Endermen’s Chorus, figuratively cutting out their tongues and stopping them from further evolution or progression. This entity is known as The Dragon. However, the end had no resources. It was an empty expanse of nothingness, and eventually was abandoned by the humans. The Dragon also went rogue, it’s programming malfunctioning and sending it into an infinite loop - No one comes in, no one comes out. It was the eternal guardian and not even its creators could stop it. Endermen who had travelled outside of their realm out of curiosity were now permanently shut out and partially severed from their sacred hive mind. This traumatic and abrupt schism of the dimensions sent ripples through generations of Endermen.

However, all things must come to an End (get it) and the humans soon stumbled upon their final comeuppance.

in the Overworld, a strange disease was emerging - not in the living, but among the dead. Humans who had died and had intact bodies had been suddenly reanimated, and were beginning to wreak havoc among the people as the disease spread. This bizarre pathogen was the Zombie virus, and was spread through saliva, blood, or other bodily fluids. Soon the disease overwhelmed the Overworld’s human inhabitants, and they fled to the Nether. However, due to the soul experiments, another disease had emerged - this time, artificial. Withering. People were withering - their bodies quite literally falling apart at the seams. The end was off bounds by their own doing - The Dragon was performing it’s purpose too well - No one comes in and no one comes out - And so, the survivors soon realized there was no other choice but to descend to the depths of the Overworld beneath the deepslate.

And that brings us to the Ancient cities, where the sculk super-organism resides. The tiny amount of survivors, in an act of desperation, descended to the caverns to create an environment devoid of the viruses that plundered them. There, they discovered a strange being - not plant, not animal and not fungi. It fed on souls - a trait thought unique to Nether beings - and reacted to sound. This being’s relationship with souls was a subject of study, however, the sculk had a strange psychological reaction with the humans. The humans began to study it to the point of worshipping it. Over generations they developed a religion around the organism, sacrificing mobs and humans to the sculk’s jaws - of which were The Warden. They lived in silence, speaking in a language of hand gestures and expressions, and walking barefoot on carpeted floors. It was basically kind of like the film A Quiet Place. However, disaster struck one again. Some kind of fatal error - or perhaps willing mass suicide - caused the entirety of the ancient city to be killed and consumed by the sculk, causing it to spread and eat away at the structure over time as it fed on the plethora of corpses strewn about by Wardens.

And that was the downfall of the Ancient Builders. However, seeing that the fate of their people had been sealed, a small sect of soul researchers stored some human souls to be reanimated years and years after they inevitably perished, modifying the soul to be able to die and come back once again through the power of experience, like a living totem of undying. Two of these human souls were constructed, originally taken from two deceased individuals called Alex and Steve, and would eventually grow into 2 completely new human beings with the same names. They would spawn fully grown, with no memories other than concepts of what certain things are (such as what a tree is) and their own names. They will not know what they are, they will not know where they are and they will not know where others of their kind are.

Those recycled souls were the New Spawn - Players.

I will go into players in a part 2!

[undiscovered-horror-icon]

SlipKnot Histrory

[This was from a french blogging website, post original publish in 2009. I think it’s instresting; All credit goes to the original poster. Posted linked at the bottom of this post.] 

[Post copy and pasted below]

Note: This is a long hauled description of events; it shows how fate has brought Slipknot together and how this makes Slipknot more than an everyday band; the music is their life not just a ploy for fame. Slipknot are hard core expression and emotion that WILL rock the music industry! They are a band with an undying passion! Slipknot formed in the year of 1995 as a result of the work of Paul, Shawn and Anders Colsefni (ex-vocalist). (They had originally played with the idea of making a band as early as 1993 and even began writing songs; however the project fell through when Shawn became busy with his welding occupation.) These three along with guitarists Donnie Steele (ex- Body Pit guitarist) and Quan Nong began practising under the name of Meld. However, at some point Quan Nong left, this time is uncertain, but is expected to be following the first six practices due to his following of a more Alternative/Punk style. Following his departure the band started anew, with a project named, "The Pale Ones". During this period Shawn (a.k.a Clown) was the lead drummer. Paul was determined to get Joey involved with his new project, despite failing to receive his interest in earlier projects such as Body Pit. Paul met up with Joey at Sinclair's where Joey worked nights, there he tempted Joey to watch rehearsals within Anders' basement. Joey reluctantly agreed and despite missing two rehearsals due to work priorities, eventually made it down to the basement to view a practice session. This basement, was "largely, open spaced", not only was the area so small and cramped but for soundproofing the members used carpet samples and scraps from a nearby pet grooming centre, these made the whole basement smell of Cat piss. The first song that Joey heard them play was a song known as "Slipknot", followed by "Gently" and "Fur". Joey soon realised that he had to be in this band and soon began to play the drums; pushing Shawn onto percussion. A band had formed. Within the cramped basement new songs were being turned out by the minute, including titles such as "Killers Are Quiet", "Bitchslap", "Do Nothing", "Confessions", "Some Feel", "Part of Me" and "Tattered and Torn". Paul, Shawn and Joey also began to meet up at Sinclair's to discuss ideas and plans for the future. Here they planned everything, here they decided the rules that define the current Slipknot. 1. "We do not answer to anyone" 2. "We do not worry about trends" 3. "We play what we want" 4. "We would not allow people to have any sort of influence on the band" Shawn and Joey also decided that the band would require three drummers to provide a hardcore audio assault. Shawn wanted a drummer to the left and right with one at the back controlling it all, creating a wall of power, a fist layer... . Joey plays the main set and as a result is the main drummer who holds the band together. Shawn is the "Total Power Drummer" and is all aggression. The third element of percussion was often performed by Anders. Within Sinclair's Shawn and Joey also realised that the band would need another guitarist. Josh formerly of Modifidious and Inveigh Catharsis was called and he soon added himself to the band. Now there were six. Soon the band decided on a new title for themselves, they toyed with the name of "Pyg System" however agreed on the more simple name of "Slipknot", the title of their first song. The people of Des Moines knew that a new band was forming and they knew who was in it. However no one had heard or seen them. Soon a small performance was given, the band suited in Kiss styled makeup, fitting the music perfectly with the green glowing lights. This spawned the idea of the masks. This idea evolved and following discussions and Shawn turning up to a practice wearing his legendary Clown mask, the sextet decided almost unanimously, with the exception of Donnie, that masks should be worn. Joey came fully equipped with his moulded and expressionless Kabuki Mask and despite difficulty within practices the idea took off, the whole anti-image appearance which fitted so well with their rule of ignoring trends had a great appeal. Soon Shawn contacted Mike Lawyer, due to an interest in recording some studio work. Mike got an engineer/producer of his named Sean Mcmahon to meet up with them during a practice session. Sean, not only stunned by the wolf skin attire of lead singer Anders, was also blown away by the sheer sound of Slipknot. The band soon started work on their first project, dubbed, MFKR. "Mate Feed Kill Repeat". The band grabbed every available moment to practice, perform and record within the SR Audio Studios, customising the room with posters, lights and many other objects. Many happenings occurred around this studio, including the drawing of corpses on the road outside and a performance in the nude by Joey. Sean Mcmahon: "I was contacted by former members of a band called Body Pit to check out their new band at their rehearsal space. I did. I was Floored! That band was Slipknot." Within February of 1996 a great change occurred within Donnie Steele; he found God. He realised that he could not be within such a band as Slipknot with the beliefs he held and as a result withdrew himself from the group, the others respecting his descision. At this crucial point in time a new member was called up; a former member of Joey's band Modifidious, his name was Craig. He had been recommended by Jordison. During his arrival the MFKR album was already in its mixing stages. The mixing of MFKR was anything but smooth. Each song being remixed many times. Strain was added by different view that each member held and things often got intense. Not only was their problems with the mixing but the band was also unhappy with the mastering that was done on the CD, hence they insisted that Sean should do it. Slipknot's first major show in which they would unveil themselves to the people of Des Moines became booked for the 4th April 1996 at the locally known meeting place pronounced, "The Safari". On the day's arrival the room was packed with 200 people. The band arrived in Joey's car and each member sported their individual garments. Paul with a wore wrapped around his head, weaving in and out of his piercings, Josh showing off an executioners hood while Craig had placed pantyhose on his head. Joey and Shawn each used the masks they had always worn, the Clown and Kabuki. Before the band began to play Joey began to incessantly shout, "I need a little Christmas in my drink" repeatedly with each new phrase increasing in volume, energy and power. The band then slammed into their debut song, "Slipknot". By Slipknot's second performance at the club Paul had found a new "Pig" mask. Within this show the band played with another band named, "Stone Sour", Corey Taylor was the lead singer. The band played a total of seven shows at the club in one month alone. The band carried on playing their shows which were much more "insane" than we see these days (taming of the media,etc...), rather than the same uniform jumpsuits and regular masks the band played in different things, for example Shawn rented out a large purple "Barney" suit and others wore Nun dresses and even ballroom dresses or a Little Bo Peep outfit. The shows were really dark, underground and scary however they still carried an element of humour. The shows would start with strobe lights flashing and a sample from Craig, usually of a mad laugh and "ice cream" man chimes, Shawn would drop a power saw to create a series of sparks to fly over the crowd. Joey still felt that the band was incomplete. He wanted more; a different sound and a greater variety. Craig was promptly shifted onto samples, leaving an empty vacancy. Hence Mick arrived. MFKR was eventually finished on Halloween, 1996. The party had began and 400 people turnt up. The album was sent out to many people and a person named Sophia at a local station managed to hear it and liked it. This lead to the arrangement of Slipknot's appearance in the local battle of the band's contest. The on air tournament that spanned across several weeks soon began with the individual heats. Slipknot faced Corey's band; Stone Sour - they won. Slipknot also defeated "Maelstrom" and "Black Caesar" who came second. Slipknot conquered all. This was one of the band's highlights that fuelled them to their current stardom. The money from the win helped fund the heavily in debt band's new projects and demos. By this time several record companies had investigated the band, one of these being Roadrunner who felt that they should not pick up Slipknot due to their thought that the vocalist required more melody. This rejection continued and no where could they be signed. Sophia became their first manager due to her contacts and love for this new band. Things then seemed to get worse; Shawn bought the Safari which took time away from the band despite being a good investment. The band could no longer play in Anders' basement and things were falling apart. There were often tensions between Joey and Shawn and "Slipknot" had no where to play. However they still managed to make it onto the bill for the local "Dotfest" in June. There they played to the largest crowd in their history, a crowd of 12 000, containing many industry people. Not only was the sound dodgy and kept going out but the crowd began to throw chicken bones on stage. At the show Slipknot came out throwing Tampons into the crowd and had several "gimps". This was the first and last time for the "gimps". The gimps were Frank with a gas mask, Lanny with tribal markings in liquid latex, Greg covered with liquid latex and a ball gag in his mouth and Greg's friend Slick Rick in a latex hood. Slipknot had the original idea of having a professional stunt man, Rick, come out dressed as Shawn and then Shawn would come out and set him on fire. They had all the things to do it (for a long time it set in the cooler at Safari) but the city would not issue the permits to perform it so the event had to be abandoned. The set ended with them being cut off and an almost riot breaking out as Andy cut open his arms and tossed CDs over the fence to the fans. Joey quit. But he reconsidered and came back. Some good things did come out of this though, their performance left a mark, they made new fans and most importantly they discovered Sid Wilson (even though they did not speak to him). Slipknot looked for the success they were not getting and decided to enlist Corey Taylor of rival band Stone Sour, to join the line up. Joey, Shawn and Mick confronted him with the an ultimatum at his work place, "The Adult Emporium". They said, "Join the band or we will kick your ass!" Slipknot provided an opportunity not present in Stone Sour; the band could go places. The music over image policy also appealed. Corey began practising with the band and the first lyrics he wrote were to be used in the song, "Me Inside". This was a very experimental move and everyone was wondering how it would turn out. This change resulted in Anders being pushed back to percussion and back up vocals. Soon this new breed of the Knot performed a show; it turned out it was a charity event for a local hospital. The Safari was packed to the brim. Corey came out wearing a large amount of makeup that gave a dark appearance, this was added to by two latex crosses marked over his eyes. Despite this excitement the show was riddled with technical problems and was the show that resulted in Joey's nickname, "Superball". Their next show was on 17th September, again at the Safari. This show was a great improvement however nearly a year on from the MFKR release an announcement was to be made. Just before Slipknot were about to storm into their final song, "Scissors", Anders made an announcement, "This will be my last show" he stated. This stunned both band members and the audience. Following this sudden change the band returned to the studio to re-record the songs on their untitled second CD - minus Anders' vocals. Of these songs included, "Gently", "Do Nothing", "Slipknot", "Tattered and Torn", "Me Inside", "Carve", "Coleslaw", "Scissors", "Windows" and "May 17th" a song written by Shawn. To cope with Ander's departure a new member was brought in, he was named Greg a.k.a Cuddles (a tattooist @ axiom piercing). Cuddles was extremely insane and very much like Slipknot's DJ, Sid. He would smash up the sets and even throw his drum kit into the crowd. Cuddles joined the band despite warnings from family and friends and he is also responsible for the tribal "S" tattoo on Anders' leg. Cuddles had previously drummed for the "Havenots" a band which Joey and Paul had been in. Cuddles is the naked guy in the MFKR inlet. Cuddles played his lst show in the Summer of 1998, he was the only member of Slipknot to be sacked, this was due to his lazy attitude towards the band. He moved to South Dakota and started up the tattoo parlour, "The Ultimate Prick", this has since been shut down. Following Cuddles' departure there was one show in Malibu which took place wile auditions were occurring, hence there was a replacement and that was Brandon, he played one show and wore the "liar" mask. One night Joey and Shawn checked out a clan named "The Sound Proof Coalition" at the Safari containing the DJs, A-Rock, Loodachris, Phase II, Rek, Sub Two, Iniversoul and Starscream. Starscream, a.k.a Sid Wilson introduced himself to them and told them they rocked at Dotfest, Shawn said they needed a DJ, Sid said he was the man. Following pestering by Sid he was allowed to view a practice and following a session of head butting it was decided he was fit to be part of the group. Auditions were being carried out for a Cuddles replacement, these auditions brought about a person named Chris Fehn, he had seen the band played and had previously asked to become a roadie. He was soon added to the group, despite being put through a vigourous ordeal. This included his initiation test commonly known as the secret track on the self titled album. Soon after this event Slipknot came up with the barcode, number and coverall ideas. A new song was also written; it was called, "Spit it Out". Slipknot now had offers flying in from mainly internet reports. However the band really wanted Ross Robinson to work on the project and he was contacted through Sophia. Robinson checked out the demo tape and flew into Des Moines to view a practice session and a live show. After watching the practice (which very few are aloud to see) he knew the band would go far. Ross not only felt the vide of the music but the vide of the passion; a passion he himself had felt. This was the beginning of a wonderful creation. He then saw Slipknot perform live at the Safari on 2nd February 1998. Word soon got back to Slipknot that he was willing to record the album, label or not. Ross later signed them onto his own label, "I am recordings". Ross then got in touch with Roadrunner and the band publicly signed to Roadrunner Records outside of the Axion Studio (tattoo parlour) in Des Moines. Following a call on the 23rd September, Slipknot drove out to LA to begin the recording of their album. The band practised solid for a week and soon began the recording that left the band sore. They then travelled upto the legendary Indigo Ranch to carry on the recording. To add a necessary expression to this music, Ross got Corey to explain his lyrics to all the other members, so they could "feel it". This took the music to a higher level; it made it raw expression and emotion, it added an element not seen before. Despite the many changes that had occurred within the Knot, another was to occur. This time it was Josh's time for departure, he left due to "family life" and would not have been able to cope with the extensive touring that lay ahead. The band knew instantly who they wanted to replace him, the Atomic Opera star, Jim Root. Jim originally said no to the offer due to his desire to stay true to the band he was currently working in. However after a bad show he called Shawn and essentially joined the band.

Original Post: slipknotmetalmusik. skyrock. com /2381521055-slipknot. html 

[spaces are only there because tumblr is being buggy] 

[comrade-meow]

“Me love you long time” is a phrase often used when referring to foreign Asian women and sex. It may or may not be explicitly associated with illicit sex but the clear underlying message is that the Asian woman’s role is to sexually serve the man. She is to be docile, unassuming, exotic, and demure — yet wildly sexual and uninhibited. A woman with “slanted eyes and creamy yellow thighs” (lyrics from “Asian Girlz” song) to be tamed and devoured by the white man.

If you ask anyone younger than 30 where the roots are from the line, “Me love you long time," you’d probably get a blank stare. They may think it’s just broken English from an Asian woman who is truly trying to express genuine affection to someone in English.

The reality is that this phrase, “Me love you long time” is not “I love you” coming out awkwardly in an Asian accent. Instead, it’s a phrase popularized by Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 movie, Full Metal Jacket, where the line itself is taken from the scene where a Vietnamese woman propositions herself to two American GIs.

The movie’s objective was in capturing the essence and impact of the Vietnam War based on the experiences of a U.S Marines Corps platoon. The term has since become a popular part of the American lexicon spoken with limited insight into the past or a desire to ignore the realities of the present.

The scene unfortunately speaks the ugly truth about collateral damage in wars, especially U.S. military occupation overseas in Asian countries. The first major American White sexual imperialism occurred during the Philippine-American War (1899-1902). The Filipinos fought against being colonized by the U.S. but 250,000 lost lives later, they succumbed to the might of America’s military.

While the actual war only lasted three years, there were insurrections and rebellions along the way that kept a large number of American soldiers stationed on the island for more than a decade. Slash-and-burn techniques swept across villages as the country lay in waste. When the soldiers tired of wreaking havoc on the land, this same imperialistic mentality to conquer shifted to the local Filipina women who they referred to as “little brown f**king machines powered by rice.”*

Filipino women were viewed as so subservient and subordinate, not only to White men but also to White women, that U.S. soldiers sexually denigrated them in a way they would never have treated their spouses or other women back home. “Filipina sex workers, for example, frequently report ‘being treated like a toy or a pig by the American [soldiers] and being required to do ‘three holes’ — oral, vaginal and anal sex.” *

It was this American colonialization period during the turn of the 20th century that gave rise to today’s notorious sex entertainment industry in Asia. Sex and prostitution sprang up to cater to the American military amidst the backdrop of political and economic plight, despair, and poverty where a man could have “a girl for the price of a hamburger”.*

A few decades later, during the Vietnam War, this only intensified as the conflict took a long and brutal toll on the U.S. military and the American psyche back home. But on the battlefield, the mind of the fighting soldier must be protected and preserved at all costs, even at the cost of Vietnamese or Thai women and girls. Consequently, several military bases were stationed in Thailand to shelter up to 70,000 American GIs at any given time for “rest and recreation." “With pervasive disregard for human rights, the military grimly accepts and recognizes access to indigenous women’s bodies as a ‘necessity’ for American GIs stationed overseas."*

If the sexual oppression was to end with the conclusion of the Vietnam War, it’d be relegated to an abomination from the past. But today’s flourishing sex tourism industry in Thailand (and other neighboring Asian and SE Asian countries), should be a reminder of the remnants of Western imperialism (American and European) and military presence overseas. It is “far from being a thing of the past, but is a lived experience of many."*

Millions of tourists from Europe and the United States visit Thailand specifically for its sex industry alone (65% were single men in one study).* So while political Western colonization is absent in the Far East, it is still physically rampant in the pants of many Anglos. The desire to sexually possess, conquer, and at times humiliate a subservient Asian woman permeates our culture.

It may start off as an innocuous joke without much introspection or resistance from others; the joke then turns into a more pernicious modern-day imperialistic mentality of sexual conquest witnessed recently by the music video, “Asian Girlz” by the band Day Above Ground.

In their interview with TMZ, the band refused to acknowledge the racism inherent in their lyrics let alone how it could be perceived as such, “We didn’t expect it to be such a backlash.” Its lead singer says, “It comes from a good place” and “I don’t understand” of why this is inappropriate.

Beyond bewilderment, the band members were defensive saying, “We’ve all had close relationships with the Asian community, Asian people. There’s guys in the band with Asian women. It’s just, it’s hard to believe we’re getting this kind of backlash."

Northern California Attorney Sunny Woan and author of the abstract, “White Sexual Imperialism” tells me how this is another example of how covert racism appears in mainstream America, even if it’s under the guise of music or other forms of entertainment. “Here we have the irreverent trinity that is racism, sexism, and imperialism. The question to ask is why did the band decide on Asian women? What does it tell us about the underlying, prevailing politics of white male and Asian female relationships, even today in the 21st century?”

Woan is also the editor of Kartika Review, a national literary arts magazine that publishes Asian Pacific Islander American fiction, poetry, creative non-fiction, and art. She has heard many people, particularly Asians, tell her not to take a music video too seriously. But she says otherwise. “If we treat it like it’s nothing, then we are being complacent to racism, sexism, and here most pertinently, the repercussions of cultural imperialism.”

The video has since gone viral, receiving more than one million YouTube hits. Woan believes the song went from conception to post-production because no one spoke up against it; a cumulative consequence from men with a Eurocentric and narrow framework of relational dynamics between Asian women and White men. “It probably started with one a-little-bit-offensive-but-not-awful quip one band member made; everyone laughed and said ha-ha that’s funny. Probably no one, least of all the Asian female model involved or the supposed bandmate of Asian descent, spoke up and said, ‘Hey, look, that’s not funny’.”

In one word, she blames this music video on complacency — intellectual complacency from the band members but also complacency in the form of aloofness and indifference from the greater Asian-American community. If Asians truly want a voice in America, then they must learn to use it. Otherwise, complacency will one day lead to normalcy.”

[doesitsparkjoytho]

"The Happy Harpy Post" - Medieval Craigslist

(**For anyone not in the U.S., Craigslist is Facebook Marketplace's janky, super sketch predecessor, basically an online site to list items for sale, jobs, "Missed Encounters," etc.**)

[For Sale / Trade]

Realm's most powerful -- and evil -- sword

Just in time for that long-awaited conquering!

The realm's most notoriously blood-thirsty sword has reappeared from the dark abyss yet again. The last band of heroes battled death to cast it into oblivion some centuries ago, but like a merciless rash, it will not stay banished.

Features:

Authentic blood stains and nicks

Possessed by an extremely evil and demeaning spirit, rumored to be that of Lord Archbane himself

Crafted from the finest dragon's bone and titanium, ensuring years of slicing, thrusting, hacking, mutilation and general intimidation

This weapon is not for the faint of heart. If the latter is not black as pitch, I assure you that the blade will drive you mad in its attempt to corrupt your soul. I stumbled upon the sword but three weeks past, but already the power of this dark artifact threatens to consume my being. However, one with the strength of spirit to master it stands to gain an instrument of unimaginable potential.

Willing to trade for guaranteed safety during new owner's reign of terror, a residence in owner's general vicinity, and a small (negotiable) re-homing fee for myself / the sword. ***And please note: the sword has attached itself to me in ways that I dare not speak of. If you try to kill me and take the sword in place of a transaction, it will be lost for many more centuries. It has assured me of this.

If interested, please find or send for innkeeper Finbar Ruild of Heshire, Eastern Province.

Free Pulsating Crystal Thing

Are you a dark being of some authority seeking an artifact of unknown power and antiquity to enhance your castle/cave/fortress/tower/dungeon's mystical atmosphere? Are you perhaps also wishing for a handful of random occurrences to shake things up, or to rid yourself of a few pesky, traitorous, or bumbling minions too curious for their own well-being? Then look no further! This strange, eerily glowing crystal pulsates as if containing life and is sure to amuse and amaze guests. In addition, this nifty crystal can easily lull one to sleep with its deep, otherworldly and ominous croonings. I guarantee you won't stumble upon another artifact of such myriad uses and features. I'm only parting with it because the lady of the keep has suggested that I have one too many "unique" trinkets.

Serious inquiries only (No minions, peasants, slaves or other lowly beings, as I dread the repercussions of this falling into the wrong hands). Please contact Lord Vasuvian at the black tower. You can send a messenger by horseback, pigeon, falcon, hawk, bat, dragon, etc. I promise its safe return.

[Services]

Haircuts for Heroes

Are you a hero? Do you want to be? Nothing says "hero" like a unique hairstyle. I offer dying, cutting, braiding, and lime-washing. Be the first to try out my new Dark and Dangerous dye, made from a fermented leech and vinegar mixture which is entirely unique and promises the darkest, longest lasting black available.

Stop announcing your triumphs and displaying your spoils to earn the trust of the town and start standing out!

My shop, Haircuts for Heroes, is located in North Ghestfel.

Live-in Mage for hire

Have you ever wanted life to be a little easier than it is? Do you ever find yourself wishing that your floor would clean itself, that your fire would stay lit through the night, or that those pesky birds would cease pecking the thatch from your roof to build their nests?

Now you can make your wishes come true! Mage with 20+ years of experience in the Way is willing to lend his talents in exchange for room and board. His only request is that you don't treat him as a servant and allow him time for his own studies between your requests.

If interested, please send word to Octulus Drolp so that we may arrange a meeting and home viewing.

[Missed Encounters]

At the smithy - M4W

You, dearest woman, had four children in tow and were berating each of them as they touched everything in the shop. I smiled at you, but you were too busy to take full notice of me. Your voice was the sweetest music to my ears. I doubt a lovely lady such as yourself with four energetic children would be without husband, but if that is indeed the case, I beseech you to come and find me!

Make inquiry for Will at the stables.

O4H

To the ruggedly handsome human who passed through the southern Fivhren woods yesterday morn:

As I emerged from my cave, sleep still crusting my eyes like fairy dust, I was struck by a most unusual but welcome sight. Upon the knoll beyond my cave, a dark-haired man (you) knelt by his steed. My orcish heart pattered- and I am not easily moved, particularly by those of diminutive form. A dark green cloak enfolded your manly form, and you seemed intent on starting a fire, perhaps to make your breakfast.

Not wishing to startle you, I went about my morning as routine demanded, beginning with my rejuvenating spritz in the creek just beyond my cave. I began to hum to catch your attention. When you spotted me, I tried to act alluring, splashing my heaving green bosom with water from the nearby creek and rubbing my face sensually. In reality, I was merely taking my morning bath and desperately attempting to remove the morning crust from round my black orbs- but I figured 'hey, why not kill two birds with one stone?'

I locked my gaze unto yours, and your visage was overcome with- dare I hope- alarmed intrigue? You quickly gathered a few of what I assumed were your belongings, leapt onto your steed and rode away. Without me.

I am sorry if my forthcomingness frightened you away. I am willing to take things slowly, if you are lacking a mate and or have any interest in lady orcs. I enjoy, I imagine, many things you humans do: fishing; rolling in the mud and baking in the sun afterward (it's good for one's skin); eating and cooking (I prepare an astounding seared pig, and my frog-eye soup is unmatched); clubbing and stoning small, pesky animals; and, last but not least, dancing.

If you ever pass my way again, don't hesitate to peek your beautiful head into my cave and holler. But you'd better holler fairly loudly, as I'm a heavy sleeper.

Sincerely yours,

Ghrus'yula

[Community Notices]

Your Daughter Is No Treasure

Dear Lady Fitz,

Please cease advertising your daughter as the most enchanting creature in the land. I had the misfortune of crossing her path in the market this Saturday past, and she was neither lovely, endearing, soft of voice, or willow-thin. In fact, I have seen female trolls more alluring. If you were to place her in a tower for one to rescue, those stupid enough to brave the perils set before them on faith of your word alone would, upon seeing her, leap to their deaths or fall on their own swords before they carried her out of there with them. I am not trying to be rude, I am merely pointing out the truth which I think you should know. If you really wish to marry your daughter off, be honest. It also might not hurt to throw in some gold.

Sincerely,

A man saving fellow men from unhappy futures

To my neighbor to the east and south, the marauding tyrant

Dear kindred conqueror:

Being a power and land hungry tyrant myself, I acknowledge that certain consequences can be expected from claiming new provinces. For example, I realize that valuable farmland will likely be laid to waste in the process, forest burned and the animals inhabiting it slain, and villagers and townspeople dispatched from their homes.

However, it is the latter which concerns me. Far be it from me to advise you on proper warmongering, but your actions have brought the consequences of war to my borders. In the towns and villages dotting our shared borders, beings fleeing your terror-inducing campaign are piling in by the hour. However, that's not the main issue here. No, what concerns me is that these humans, orcs, elves, etc. are crossing my borders and falling dead in my towns, creating an awful sight and stench which, in the end, I am left to deal with. Not only that, but my denizens are becoming worried that I might gather my army again and attempt to take the few provinces I have allowed them to keep. I have worked hard at gaining their newfound trust in the last few years following the end of my campaign, and your actions are threatening the fragile halcyon of my new kingdom.

If you would kindly see to it that more of your soon-to-be subjects did not escape your borders, or at least died within them, I would be most grateful. If you do not comply, a few thousand of my most sickly denizens may somehow find their way into your lands just when you think you've established yourself in your new domains.

Yours to the west and north,

Lord Belus III

--------------------------------

So I used to write. A LOT. Before fanfic, I was an aspiring fantasy novelist, and I wrote pretty much all the time. I'm trying to get back into it, so I've been looking at my old pieces and taking stock of what I like/don't like. This is one of my all time favorite pieces so I thought I'd share!

[ducktracy]

169. egghead rides again (1937)

release date: july 17th, 1937

series: merrie melodies

director: tex avery

starring: mel blanc (egghead), tex avery (red), billy bletcher (clerk, egghead), sons of the pioneers (singers), danny webb (egghead)

tex avery would debut a whopping 3 characters in 1937: daffy, egghead, and elmer. but, with tex, he’s gotta keep it interesting, and the confusion between the last two characters is certainly interesting history. out of confusion or just simplicity (because “egghead” is much less of a mouthful than “prototype elmer fudd”), many fans refer to the proto-fudd as egghead, believing that he later evolved into elmer fudd. that, however, is not true. egghead and elmer are entirely independent characters. egghead has open eyes and USUALLY has hair (here is an exception), and is voiced by danny webb (again, an exception is made here... mostly.) elmer has closed eyes, wears a derby hat, and is voiced by mel blanc for the most part (danny webb voices him in cinderella meets fella, further confusing matters). to save space, i made it so that you can read more about the difference between the two here. interesting history indeed! for even more interesting history, this is irv spence’s first animation credit, and paul smith’s first cartoon in the avery unit, moving over from the freleng unit. spence would depart for MGM in 1938, whereas smith would stay with avery until 1940, where he would head off to walter lantz.

egghead is eager to become a “rootin’, tootin’, shootin’, snootin’, high falutin’, tootin’, shootin’, rootin’, tootin’ cowboy”, much to the bewilderment of his peers. to prove himself worthy, he goes on a dangerous, treacherous quest only the most worthy could conquer: wrangling an innocent little calf.

mel blanc’s over-enthusiastic cries of “YIPEE! WAHOO! GET ALONG, LITTLE DOGGIE, GET ALONG!” paired with irv spence’s loony animation collide to open the cartoon. our hero, the eponymous egghead, bucks back and forth on his trusty (off-screen) steed against a western panorama. that is, until a pan out reveals that our cantankerous cowhand is actually hopping wildly back and forth on a pogo stick, cleverly situated in front of his comically enlarged calendar. a great, classic fake-out, enhanced by mel’s energetic shrieks and spence’s spastic animation.

egghead resides in a boarding house, a space unfit for maintaining his wildest cowboy dreams. all of the commotion reaches the lobby of the boarding house, disturbing the landlord, voiced by billy bletcher. the landlord isn’t at all keen on egghead’s racket and literally throws him to the street--bletcher’s monologue is nothing short of hilarious as he rambles on all the way through, from initially hearing egghead’s noise to throwing him out. “well, dadburn that dadburn noise, dadburnit! i’ll put a stop to that, dadburnit. dadburnit, the dadburn boardin’ house ain’t no dadburn place to play dadburn cowboy! now get out and stay out, dadburnit! ...burnit... n... burnit—i mean, dadburnit!”

as egghead collects himself, his daze is cut short by the book so conveniently sprawled out in front of him, among other belongings. a book of job offerings has conveniently flipped open--fortune seems to smile upon our hero:

some more fun irv spence animation as egghead rips the paper out of the book, his bulbous nose prodding the page as he scans the words, too good to be true. “buck egghead rides again!” our protagonist declares, waving his hat around in celebration.  we receive a brief little montage of egghead traipsing towards the post office, writing the fated address out on the envelope. we don’t see the contents inside the envelope, only animation of egghead walking into the post office and writing on the envelope off-screen--a great way to build suspense. 

what seems to be an original number is yodeled by a group of cowboys in conjunction with a well-executed multi-plane pan (tex has used this technique before--i love to singa comes to mind) of bar-none ranch in wahoo, wyoming. the shot exposing the singing cowboys is structured quite similarly to the shots of the barbershop quartet singing in tex’s directorial debut, gold diggers of ‘49, albeit the animation is slightly more exaggerated, with the necks of the cowboys extending on their held out note. the cowboy strumming the guitar appears to be a caricature of paul smith (though i’d also take this with a grain of salt.) many portions of this cartoon have avery-isms of both past and future shorts--certainly fun to dissect!

great gag setup as the “leader” of the ranch gazes out of his window from inside, traipsing out the door, which is comically fitted to match his wide gait. he alerts his band of singing cowboys to the approach of the pony express--sure enough, the words PONY EXPRESS are emblazoned on some sort of object concealed by an iris. iris in to a horse pulling a trailer, the self-titled pony express, with a triumphant fanfare to boot.

nonstop gags are to be expected in a tex avery cartoon, but that doesn’t make the constant amount of punches any less amusing. the leader declares “c’mon, boys! in ya saddles! let’s ride out and meet the man!” with that, all of the cowboys whoop and holler as they all jump on their horses. they take off... and move about 2 inches forward until they all halt and reach their destination. it’s a gag tried and true used in many cartoons (my favorite usage being in, of course, the great piggy bank robbery), but the execution is just as satisfying here as it is in the others.

the horse comes to a halt, a chipper pony express “rider” emerging from the trailer to hand the boys their envelope before heading off again. as to be expected, it’s none other than egghead’s letter. EXCELLENT gag payoff as we finally see the contents of the envelope after minutes of gut-wrenching suspense: egghead himself flops out of the letter and onto the ground. the matter of factness and sincerity of the entire gag sell the whole thing.

once again, irv spence is at the hand of egghead’s introduction, which can hardly be summed up in greatness: mel blanc, billy bletcher, and danny webb all contribute to his vocals. mel blanc gives the tongue tied, squeaky, daffy-esque voice of “i’m a rootin’, tootin’, shootin’, snootin’, high falutin’, tootin’, shootin’, rootin’, tootin’ cowboy, fella! and i saw your ad, so i came for the job.” billy bletcher’s booming baritone takes over, the juxtaposition absolutely bludgeoning as he belts out “because, because, because, because...!” finally, danny webb takes over for the finale, imitating the squeaky voice of a teenage boy going through puberty--”today, i am a maaaaan”, lampooning the traditional declaration given by young men at their bah mitzvah, marking their introduction to adulthood. this line would be reused in another avery entry, i wanna be a sailor, just a few months later. the gag is topped off by egghead proudly puffing out his chest and struggling to keep his pants on. three great voice actors, great lines, and super fun animation, it’s hard to go wrong! the mel blanc/danny webb elmer/egghead conundrum ensues.

the lead cowboy decides to test egghead and see if he’s a worthy addition, enlisting in his buddy red for help. red (voiced by tex avery himself) squeals “OKAY, BOSS!” in a super high, grating, squeaky voice, a jab at famous western star andy devine, lampooned more than once for his raspy vocals--tedd pierce would also harp on devine with his portrayal of a squeaky voiced pig in friz freleng’s my little buckeroo just a year later.

per the leader’s request, red rolls a cigarette with just his mouth (with a lot of fun, eye-crossing animation provided by irv spence yet again), proudly sticking the cigarette out of his maw, lit and all, giving a self-satisfied grin towards the audience. the lead cowboy demonstrates his love of safety and concern for his friends’ well being as he whips out a pistol, giving it a good twirl before shooting right at the cigarette.

red is unscathed, his cigarette now split in half as a result. “now here, you try, pardner,” the cowboy urges on egghead. egghead gives a polite nod and tip of the hat before reaching for the gun, the weight of the gun bringing egghead falling to the ground beneath its weight. once more, red prepares to roll another cigarette, this time a corn cob pipe (and a button nose) poking out of his mouth in a last minute switcharoo.

morbidly (yet hilariously so), egghead struggles with the gun but manages to fire. predictably, he misses--shooting straight at red. wonderful setup as a floating hat and boots are all we see after the cloud of smoke dissipates. red assures he’s okay by waving a white flag from the recesses of his hat, his whole body dropping out of the hat and running away. his cowboy hat is still suspended in mid-air, and for the cherry on top, he darts on screen for a mere second more to retrieve his hat, a gag borrowed from picador porky. simultaneously predictable yet not, with some wonderfully fluid animation and great timing.

egghead is now the laughing stock of bar-none ranch. the leader, however, is a bit more forgiving, ordering his guffawing cronies to wrangle a calf and see what egghead can “do with it.” next act of redemption is a cruel one: the leader hands egghead a branding iron and instructs the novice to brand the poor little calf. despite the cruel nature of the gag, the audience is already alerted that egghead’s attempts to redeem himself will be laughable and in vain. 

the shot of egghead galloping along with the hot iron is strikingly similar in comparison to porky trotting along with a red-hot horse shoe in the village smithy, both shots awfully foreboding in the “this isn’t going to go well” sense. egghead’s victim, a terrified little calf, attempts to escape the clutches of the cowboys wrangling it, but it seems the calf has been defeated. egghead dives into the crowd, and a puff of smoke obscures the action going on...

once the smoke clears, we see that egghead has branded his fellow cowboys instead, the calf unharmed, trotting away with its tail proudly in the air (in a very similar manner to the bull(s) in picador porky.) the whole concept of attempting to cause harm to an innocent little calf (by someone with a rather squeaky voice) would also be rather prominently featured in the bob clampett classic porky’s last stand, with daffy off on an unsuccessful mission to kill a calf as a last-minute resort for a hamburger.

now, the leader orders egghead to go after the calf. if he gets it, he gets the job. thus launches another tex avery staple gag--egghead hops into a crowd of horses, emerging out of the gaggle on a diminutive little pony instead (with a score of “the merry go round broke down” to boot--carl stalling must have been quite eager to use the composition now that he could.) the same gag would be used in a number of other cartoons, the 1946 tex avery droopy cartoon northwest hounded police coming to mind.

we’re treated with some refreshingly dimensional, rather tashlin-esque dynamics and angles as the calf leaps and bounds over a number of fences, with egghead hot on its trail, screeching another victorious call of “egghead rides again... and again... and again! and another time!” the animation is very well executed and tastefully dynamic. 

momentum of the chase is purposefully broken as both the calf and egghead begrudgingly screech to a halt, obeying the rules of the road as they wait at a stop sign before resuming the chase again. another avery-ism--purposefully stopping in the middle of a chase for a “breather” gag. 

in an attempt to fake-out the clueless cowboy, the calf enlists in the aid of cartoon physics to save its hide (literally) as it crawls beneath a cliff and stands upside down, right on the edge. egghead saunters on past, much to the glee of the little calf. yet, egghead realizes he’s been foiled, and we get some more wonderfully dynamic and cartoony animation as the horse whips around, sending egghead slingshotting around from the background to the foreground, positioned on the horse the entire time. treg brown’s electric guitar twang/slide effect (my favorite!) enhances the gag nicely. 

realizing its pursuers are still coming in hot, the calf slides to the edge of another cliff (this time accompanied by a less suitable violin slide sound effect) before scampering down the edge in a last minute effort to escape. egghead and his trusty steed screech to a halt, peering down over the edge of the cliff. the gags just keep on coming--in more tex avery greatness, the horse takes a rather conveniently situated set of stairs carved into the side of the cliff, its complacent grin and dainty little descent topping off the gag. 

a carl stalling favorite, “in the stirrups”, accompanies the wild goose chase between the calf and egghead as the two run over hill and dale through the beautifully painted landscape. yet another avery-ism—a wide, distance shot of mayhem unfolding on screen. against all odds, egghead manages to herd the terrified, exhausted calf back in its own. it seems egghead actually DOES ride again! he approaches the cornered calf (the same high pitched daffy croon a stark parallel to porky’s last stand), and, once more, a ball of smoke obscures the action unfolding.

instead of a terrified calf wrangled up in a ball, we’re greeted with a cow-tied egghead, with the calf shaking its little fists in the glory. once more, this causes the cowboy cronies to erupt in a uproarious fit of laughter.

with great effort, a heartbroken, dejected egghead manages to produce exactly one (1) tear, reflecting his tremendous heartache. once more, irv spence is responsible for the close-up, a very funny one indeed. those wrinkles are almost scribner-ian.

a dejected egghead trudges past the cowboys, their mocking laughter definitely stinging, even if it’s directed towards someone who is hardly endearing such as egghead himself. thankfully, the all too forgiving leader consoles egghead (offhandedly mocking his diminutive stature in the process), saying that he’s finally in.

to egghead, it’s too good to be true—and a happy ending in an avery cartoon is definitely too good to be true indeed. wonderful animation as the leader swaps egghead’s cowboy hat out for a pith helmet, thrusting a trashcan in his grip. egghead now gets the honors of being the street sweeper (to put it politely), an ending reminiscent of the classic drip-along daffy. the egghead/daffy parallels keep on coming!

tex closes with a final bang: as egghead cries “buck egghead...!”, the whinnying of a horse grounds the chipper street sweeper into reality, reminded of his duties. his exuberance melts into disdain, the triumphant backing score backing down in favor of a mournful violin as our hero grumbles “...sweeps again.” iris out.

this review is full of praises for the gags and the animation in the cartoon, which are both very good. however, with that said, is this the best tex avery entry? not at all. is this a bad entry? not at all. for someone like me who’s endured the bosko, buddy, and even beans eras, this cartoon is like heaven sent—for the average viewer who is more acquainted with tex’s future masterpieces at WB and later MGM, this is definitely a step down from his greatest.

irv spence’s animation shines bright in this cartoon and is certainly the highlight, which is both good and bad. it highlights his work and allows him to make a name for himself, but he also puts the other animators at the avery unit to shame. bob clampett and chuck jones’ absence is certainly felt—virgil ross is another star of the avery unit (though i don’t have the best luck picking him out, at least not in this cartoon), sid sutherland can be difficult to discern, and paul smith’s animation is seldom exciting, and at some points the animation looks rather poor when it isn’t a spence scene. nevertheless, his work is definitely something to look out for.

the gags are amusing, some more predictable than others, but definitely amusing. egghead isn’t a very endearing character—they did a great job of making him obnoxious—but mel’s vocals (and technically billy bletcher’s and danny webb’s) breathe lots of life and vivacity into the character. really, his voice is just daffy duck’s voice of the 30s (though a bit less spitty.) that whole “i am a man” sequence is nothing short of hilarious.

in short, not one of tex’s best, and one that you could both skip or watch. i lean more towards the “give it a watch” side, for the historical significance of egghead’s debut, but also for shining moments such as irv spence’s wild character animation and some of the gags. this cartoon doesn’t have the same energy that previous entries such as porky’s duck hunt (and even uncle tom’s bungalow, all things considered) uphold, but if you’re tex avery, that is one difficult flame to maintain, one that would sometimes burn out. this era of avery cartoons, the flame has certainly calmed down, but it’ll reignite for the 1938-1939 season at least. so, in all, amusing short with bits of greatness to it (and historical significance) that leads me to give it a recommendation.

link!

[christarango]

I Interviewed the Guy Who Went Into a Museum & "Vandalized" a Picasso.

    In 2012, a man in a suit entered the Menil Collection in Houston, Texas.  That man was Uriel Landeros, a self proclaimed artist and a student at the University of Houston.   A cell phone video captured his visit to the prestigious musuem and was posted on YouTube the same day. The video quickly went viral and set the "Art World" on fire.  That's because Mr. Landeros brazenly walked up to Pablo Picasso's 1929 painting, "Woman in a Red Armchair" and spray painted directly onto the priceless piece of art.  In just a few seconds, the Picasso was altered, hanging there with a mysterious image of a bull and the word "Conquista" spray painted across the surface.  "Conquista" is a Spanish word that means "conquest" or "to conquer".  But why?  What did it mean?  The incident pissed off plenty of people worldwide and started heated debates about the true value of "art".  I had the opportunity to catch up with the artist..  vandal.. visionary.. terrorist.  or whatever it is you choose to call him.  

CT:  Who are you, where are you from?

UL:  I am CONQUISTA, the kid who conquered Picasso, but the name my father gave me is Uriel Landeros.  I was born in South Texas in the city of Edinburg, located in the Rio Grande Valley, but I consider Houston my second home because I went to art school there.  I am a Native/Mexican American.

CT:  As an artist, can you describe the work that you create?

UL:  The Majority of my work comes from my dreams and the subconscious, that other spiritual realm that most people don’t pay attention to.  I try to write down all of my dreams and create images from them. I also use all forms of meditation to influence my work, from fasting, sun gazing, prayer and psychedelic rituals. This is the spiritual side of my work but I also spend a lot of time watching news and current events, not only on TV & newspapers but also the Internet. I compare articles from different countries, independent and mainstream newspapers and bring about a conclusion of closer truth, and then I create political art from this. I try to create a voice that is a little rawer with truth trough my images; I stopped making art years ago though all I make now is art history. But both my spiritual and political work is intertwined. The world is one, everything is connected.

CT:  How did the concept to "destroy" a Picasso piece come about? Was it carefully planned or was it spontaneous?

UL:  The year 2012 was very chaotic for America and for the world, Like I said my work is influenced from all this mayhem, I meditated for so long trying to come up with an image of power and symbology. The image of the Conquista in particular came directly from a lucid dream. Once I obtained the image of the bullfighter slaying the golden bull with the all Seeing Eye, I began to plan the heist. It took about 2 months to completely plan everything; I drew blueprints, counted guards, created exit strategies, etc. It was like a hacker stealing classified information. My plan was never to destroy the Picasso painting, if I wanted to destroy it I would have slashed it with a knife or poured acid on it. The whole point was to leave a message to create a voice and spark another fire against this NEW WORLD ORDER. Believe me I know about paint, I am a professional; I knew that the painting would be easily restored.

CT:  Obviously you pissed off a lot of people. At the same time you suddenly had lots of attention on you & your work. Was that the idea from the beginning or did it accidentally happen that way?

UL:  Not everyone was pissed off, some people were very happy with what I did, many strangers clapped @ my actions & and continue to do so. Most of the people who were hating on me where so called “artists” who have never been able to break the veil of success. I did not know the future, I did not know that galleries would take interest in my art, especially not the world renown museum “The Palace of Fine Arts, MACG” in Mexico city.  When those things began to happen, I was skeptical because I thought that the museum and galleries were working with the F.B.I. and U.S. Marshalls.  But after some research I found out those opportunities were legit, so I welcomed them.  This helped me spread the message further. CT:  What's the deal with your solo art show in Houston following the incident? Apparently you were on a live video feed from Mexico. Can you tell me about that? Also, I heard some of your own artwork was destroyed.

UL:  James Art Gallery gave me a solo show in Houston; James Perez has been a friend of mine for several years. Ironically the title of the show was “ Houston, we have a problem”.  We promoted the event saying that I was going to show up at the event, I had been a fugitive for several months & already there was a $15,000 reward for me, so I knew that the cops were going to show up, but we tricked those pigs.  As you know I was there but through live video feed “Skype”.  I was logged in from an ice cream shop in Monterrey, Mexico.  I gave several interviews and said hello to all the people that attended the show.  My work was not destroyed, James and me invited all the local graffiti writers we could find and let them tag whatever they wanted on several of my paintings. The whole point of this was to show the art community that art is not about paintings but rather the message. Fuck the paintings, this is what Picasso would say “Art is a lie that enables us to see truth” For example The Guernica was not about making a pretty painting but rather transmitting the message of the horrors of genocide and war. Art is a weapon, painting and drawing is secondary to the true purpose of the art tool.  So I don’t care if people tag or graffiti my work, what matters is the message I convey. 

CT:  I definitely feel like you have a message that you're trying to convey. What are you all about, what's all this about?

UL:  First of all fuck the NEW WORLD ORDER, once more; I did this for the people who are tired of being treated like slaves. The Conquista was an artistic metaphor with much symbology.  A lot of the art community successfully digested the message although the reactions were diverse. I stenciled a bullfighter killing a bull with the word Conquista below it with spray paint in color gold on a 1929 Picasso painting. It was a lot of work to pull the heist but all the details are another story.  This graffiti was a form of protest/activism against the government and the corrupt church, who continue to abuse their power of imperial rape. A way to tell the people conquer your fear and stand up for injustice. There was much civil unrest all around the globe in the year 2012, the year of the conquista.  Remember the Occupy movement?  The anonymous organization, the immigrant protests in Arizona, and Wikileaks?  And even after I turned myself in to the authorities, it continued with Edward Snowden and the unraveling of the N.S.A. surveillance, abusing their power to infringe in our privacy. The word Conquista is my artist name, it is also the Spanish word for conquer, in reference to the conquistadores and the Spanish inquisition, the biggest unrecognized genocide in the world, because of gold and greed, “Capitalism in its cradle”. Those who converted the natives into Christianity through murder and rape, those same characters who are now looked upon like heroes such as Christopher Columbus. The word Conquista is also in reference to so many innocent kids who got raped by priest who went unpunished because pope Benedict XVI protected them by sending them to the Vatican and granting them political asylum. This was so controversial that the pope had to resign. Conquista is also in reference to the immigration reform and the dream act that president Obama promised and never fulfilled. My people my culture and my family is bullied around society because of the color of our skin because of racism and discrimination. Just look at the laws in Arizona, its as if its still the 1960s in that state. Discriminating against immigrants when in fact the only non-immigrants are the natives/Hispanics, my people. Nobody ever asked any conquistador for a passport or green card, how was this fucking hypocrisy born?  What the fuck is going on? All this seems like a big joke, nobody in power cares to make a positive difference; they are worried about policing the world and selling guns. This is the history that I have begun to convert into my story. The majority of native culture/archeology is now displayed in museums throughout Europe as trophies of genocide, and thus disables the Hispanic community to truly understand their history & culture, because that art is not in its native land. I cannot bring back all the art that was stolen by the conquistadors but I can create new history. New art, so that is what I did for my people. The golden bull represents the stock market, wall street, gold, money being idolized, The federal reserve, the biggest deceiving ponzi scheme that enslaves us all, and the president & government working for wall street banksters instead of the people. The golden bull also represents Picasso “ the Art Beast”, he who understood that art is not a painting or a drawing but rather a political tool to educate and influence the form of thinking of the masses. I am the bullfighter inspired by Picasso to use the art tool, doing the daring move to kill the golden beast. Conquering Picasso in his own game. Fighting against this whole corrupt system. The bullfighting culture and Picasso are both originally from Spain and this is the irony of a Native Mexican American conquering a Spaniard.

CT:  Whoa, thats heavy.  You were just released from jail for what you did, that's fucking crazy.  How long were you locked up?

UL:  I was in prison for 21 months, almost 2 years.

CT:  What were you thinking about while in prison? Any new concepts or artwork created during that time?

UL:  I was a prisoner before I went to prison, but it was in that dark cold place, in that cage, when I was hungry, when I meditated, that I understood what freedom was.  If your mind is free they can never imprison you. The power of the third eye is limitless, the universe is born from it. I created over 100 paintings and thousands of drawings. I will soon publish all these works online and I will exhibit them in a prison series for my next Art show. My force of creation has only gotten stronger.

CT:  What's next for you?

UL:  I am organizing my next event.  I will soon publish the date and details.  I am also in the process of publishing a book about the entire story, all the things I could not say because of lawful repercussions, how I pulled the heist (it was some oceans 11 shit) and also my life as a fugitive.

CT:  How can we follow you and see how this evolves?

UL:  I’m always accessible through Facebook that is the social media of my choice, but I also have twitter, instagram, pinterest, photobucket, vine, we heart it and email of course. Or just watch the news or Google me.

CT:  Best of luck to you!  Anything else you want to add?

UL:  Yea I just want to give a shout out to everyone out there trying to provoke and stimulate a positive change in the world, all those free hugs people, all the honest police and every activist who has put their life in danger for the benefit of the community, especially Edward Snowden, thank you.

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #9

Weird brag but OK.

This is probably the first issue where I realized something bigger was happening. Until now, Cerebus was eight single issue stories with some slight history building. We did get a recurrence of Elrod but that was more "The fans really responded to this guy who is easy to write! Let's get him right back in there!" and less "I'm building continuity!" Sure, the last three issues were all part of a linear narrative in a way the first few were not: Cerebus learns of a treasure, Cerebus hunts the treasure, Cerebus is found hallucinating from a fever and poison caused by a wound while hunting the treasure. But I didn't say this was the first issue in which Dave Sim begins making Cerebus into something more than one shot sword and sorcery parody stories; I said it was the first issue when I realized that that was happening! Mostly because Cerebus found himself in charge of an army last issue and, in this issue, he makes use of that army. We get to see Cerebus' ambitions growing. And by the end, we get to see him deal with failure and a major setback to that ambition. In a way, we learn maybe Cerebus actually yearns for more than just gold so that he can buy ale. Cerebus gets a taste of power in this issue. He also finds it a headache but that won't stop him. This is kind of a microcosm of what will happen to him in High Society and Church & State. The "A Note from the Publisher" is once again called "A Note from the Publisher" and not "Note from the Publisher." Is this the kind of thing other comic book critics wouldn't be concerned with when reviewing a comic book? Is this the sort of concern that proves these reviews are more about me than the comic book?! I'd probably let it go if the "A Note from the Publisher" had anything to say worth discussing. It does not. Let's move on. Dave Sim's essay backs up the thoughts I had when I first read this issue. It seems I'm better at comprehension than "9th grade level." Take that, you stupid standardized tests!

This is usually where I say something like "Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!" But shouldn't I just amend that to "Grandmaster Thinker and Philosopher and All Around Total Genius"?

It scares me that there are people who exist who believe the exact opposite things that I do and yet do so with the exact same confidence. How can they be so confident in being so wrong about everything?! In Dave's essay, he points out that Imesh, the place Cerebus lays siege to in this issue, was the city where an adolescent Cerebus grew up and studied magic under Magus Doran. Is this something who reads 300 issues of Cerebus learns? Or is this just Sim's own background knowledge, or maybe something that appeared in one of the many Cerebus short comics that appeared in various places over the years? Why didn't Dave ever publish an additional Cerebus phonebook called the The Apocrypha? No, don't answer that! I think it's for the same reason we aren't allowed complete episodes of Beavis and Butthead with their music video commentary. Too many other artists and writers participated in many of the side stories which probably cause a huge headache when it comes to publishing rights and royalties. Cerebus leads his new army to conquer Imesh because what else are you going to do with an army? Not conquer a nearly impregnable fortress city?

"Imesh was the nickname of my last girlfriend which only confused her" is a joke I wouldn't make because it's so tacky.

Cerebus leads his large army right up to the city wall because Imesh doesn't post guards on the South wall. Why? Because nobody has ever taken it from the rear! Aren't you paying attention? You might think part of the reason why nobody has ever taken Imesh from the rear is that they have at least one guard on watch to warn everybody when Imesh is being taken from the rear. But maybe the real truth is that Cerebus is a terrible leader and he just got lucky that, unbeknownst to Cerebus, K'cor, the leader of Imesh, has closed off the city entirely and drugged all of its citizens into obedience. Cerebus leaves his troops behind in frustration and climbs the city walls to find out what's going on. He discovers the entire city has been demolished, replaced by small buildings up against the city walls and a large monument being built in the city center. Cerebus' plans for conquering the city give way to solving this mystery.

The amount of times I've decided to try solving a mystery only to have a beautiful woman approach me to explain everything can be counted on no hands.

Of course the amount of times a woman has challenged me to chase her have 100% been traps so Cerebus deserves to get locked in a cage for going after her. K'cor, apparently having nothing better to do because his drug-addled slaves do everything, was waiting in the darkness outside the cell to appear dramatically and reveal his plans to Cerebus! He's really mighty proud of drugging everybody into submission so that they'll do his will. If only his will were more ambitious than building a giant stone monument to communicate with aliens.

Is it a coincidence that both "buz" and "Fox" have three letters?!

I suppose CNN also has three letters but they fail in a far less spectacular way than Fox does. Fox is pure propaganda. CNN is just a bunch of pseudo-journalists and reporters too frightened of being labeled biased to actually report the news unbiased. And yet they still get labeled biased! You'd think they'd learn a lesson from that. Unless maybe they don't care about learning lessons and have decided they're probably making the maximum amount of revenue from ads that they can make with their wishy-washy brand of "news." Hey! K'cor is just "rock" backwards! I don't know if that means anything. His consort, Sedra, is "ardes" backwards and I know that doesn't mean anything! Unless I'm ignorant of what an "ardes" is! I hate being confronted with my own ignorance though so I'm going to pretend I never doubted myself. K'cor informs Cerebus that the Venusians are going to invade the world (Earth, I guess, but a fictionalized one?) and the monument he's building will be the only defense therefore the populace has to be drugged to save the world. Which means K'cor is way more like Fox News than even I previously believed. Cerebus explains to K'cor that he came to conquer the city and impress the populace into his army. K'cor, being an arrogant blowhard, makes a wager with Cerebus. If Cerebus can defeat K'cor's champion, Cerebus can have the people of Imesh. But if K'cor wins, he'll get Cerebus' men. Of course the Conniptins are already as good as dead and K'cor knows this. He doesn't plan to take the fight to the end; he's just killing time until he's sure the Conniptins have all drunk from the poisoned wells surrounding the city. To get to the battle with Imesh's champion, Cerebus must navigate a corridor full of deadly magic balls. He just manages it and finds himself facing a Panrovian swordsman. Apparently Panrovy is the butt of all the jokes of every other race in Estarcion so Cerebus gets a chance to ridicule the poor fellow into making a ton of mistakes in battle. Cerebus humiliates the man just before killing him. But that wasn't the champion! The champion Cerebus must defeat is K'cor in full plate armor! An impossible task for a nearly exhausted Earth Pig! Except this comic book isn't called K'cor; it's called Cerebus! So it's not surprising when K'cor eventually relents before Cerebus' incredible wrath and obvious skill. But he doesn't surrender the wager. He merely calls it off, letting Cerebus know that the Conniptins are almost certainly dead by now. Cerebus screams in frustration although you'd expect he'd be used to it after nine issues of his story ending with him no better off or worse than when he started. No letters came in this month so there is no Aardvark Comments! That couldn't have been a good sign to a struggling independent comic book creator! The single page story is called "A Single Page" and it's a story about an artist drawing a single page comic book for Cerebus Bi-weekly and coming up with nothing. Is that meta? Or post-modern? Or is it just lazy? I suppose showing how lazy a writer/artist is is meta and post-modern. So I guess it's all three? Cerebus #9 Rating: A. As I noted, this issue got the ball rolling on the idea of what this comic book could be about. Or maybe the ball was already kind of rolling but this issue gave it a little more direction and speed. I can feel the beginnings of the epic in this story. And it's a story well-told and well-plotted! You get some background on Cerebus, you get a conflict, you get a resolution that doesn't really make anybody happy (which is great swords and sorcery story telling, right?). Plus you get commentary on current social issues like tyranny and drugs and chasing women into government traps! Plus things only get better! I think the grading system might eventually need grades better than an "A" if that's the case.

[onepiecesmosthated]

Biggest Coal Getters At Christmas In One Piece

As you know from this blog, I rag on the most hated characters in One Piece. At at this merry Christmas time, I want to show you all the biggest coal getters in this series.

12.  Stelly

With being such an arrogant, self-important, entitled, and asshole brat, Sabo’s adoptive brother, Stelly, makes the first on the list on our naughty list. One has to feel sorry for the Gao kingdom for being ruled over such a spoiled king, who even thinks he can order Garp around because he’s originally from there.

11.  Wapol

 Another king on this list, but one who also is the president of his own toy company is Wapol. Like Stelly he was quite a horrible ruler when he was ruling Drum Kingdom, especially when he left the island to fend for itself when Blackbeard invaded and horded all the doctors so he could force people to pay high prices for them. Though he is currently living high now with his new kingdom gifted by the World Nobles, Santa still is going to leave a nice lump that fits his dark heart.

10. Judge

Just like with the earlier two entries, we have another asshole ruler and this one is the father of Strawhat member, Sanji. The ruler of the Germa 66, a seafaring kingdom that is notorious for conquering islands and being paid assassins, he is a social darwanist, who caused great abuse to Sanji throughout his childhood because he turned out normal. The only reason why he wanted Sanji back into his life was to cement an alliance with Big Mom by offering him as a groom for her daughter, Pudding, which turned out to be a trap because the Yonko planned to kill him and the other Vinsmokes off to get their technology. And at the wedding when the Big Mom Pirates’ true colors are showed, all that previous super macho bravado is melted away to reveal a sniveling coward who cries when someone puts him into the situation that he put others under. And for that the Germa clones will shoveling a lot of coal for a while.

9. Spandam

This guy is the poster child on why we should have anti-neoptism laws. A snively cowardly shit Spandam when he was head of the CP9 tortured Robin all the while she was under his captivity, while arrogantly believing his CP agents were untouchable. He also has little regard for human life when he accidentally triggered the buster call and didn’t care that his subordinates could die. He even called them needed sacrifices. He was also the reason why Tom, Iceburg and Franky’s mentor, was killed due to a frame up job he did in order to obtain the Pluton from him. It’s a bit karmic seeing him be forced to take orders from his former subordinate, Lucci, but even then the clumsy klutz should trip on his black pile of gifts he will get.

8. Hody Jones

Think Arlong, but with none of his few redeeming qualities. Although Hody can be said to be a product of his environment, he’s still a nasty racist shit, who should rot in the jail cell he was put in at the end of his starring arc. With his New Fishman Pirates, they planned on taking over the kingdom and go to Reverie where they planned to massarce everyone there. However, the worst thing he’s done is assassinate Queen Otohime, because she dared to try to aim to bring peace between humans and seafolk. If you think there can be a reason for his racism, then he would answer it himself: “nothing”. Nothing happened to him to make him hate humans personally he just grew up with the toxic belief that hating humans was justified. And for that Hody spends Christmas in a jail cell, while sharing it with the number of coals that can keep him and the other withered New Fishman Pirates company.

7. Mother Carmel

To the world (and to this day, Big Mom), Mother Carmel was a saintly figure who fostered peace between humans and giants plus opened up an orphanage for children of all races. However, underneath that facade lied a wicked slaver, who pretended to be a grandmotherly figure in order to sell children to the highest dollar. Her famed action of stopping the Elbaf crew from being executed was a staged event in order to gain the trust of the giants. Her most notable so-called prized asset was Charlotte Linlin (who would later become Big Mom), who to this day doesn’t know her foster mother never truly loved her and saw her as merchandise to be sold. Even though she’s a deceased character, she certainly deserves to have her stockings filled to the brim with stone, cold coal.

6. Blackbeard

Although he’s more of a love to hate example, we all know that Blackbeard deserves to be on this list. For one thing, if you want to know why the post-timeskip is chaotic as it is it’s thanks to this guy. He for years pretended to be a loyal member of Whitebeard’s crew and acted like one of the family knit setting. However, it’s all an at to get at the Yami Yami No Mi/Dark Dark Fruit. He killed one of his own brothers/crewmates, then went off to form his own crew where he fought Ace and got him handed over to the Marines, so that he could become a Warlord and get into Impel Down. There during the breakout he recruited level six members to his crew, then used them to kill his former captain and father figure Blackbeard. And postimeskip he has been shown to now be hunting down devil fruit users for his fellow crew. There is a reason why people say he’s the anti-Luffy and what a real non-romanticized pirate is like. So, I have a feeling Santa will be stopping by on Hive Island with some hefty packages that could fit his namesake.

5. Ceasar Clown

Although he’s shown as a butt monkey after his first appearance, the record of his misdeeds cannot be forgotten. On his island he kept children captive after a mole in the marines lied to their parents about them dying at sea, which he then proceeded to experiment on them with drugged candy which made them grow giant sized and shorten their live spans. All the while pretending he was actually curing them when he couldn’t give a shit. He also is notorious for making chemical weapons of mass destruction which is used by amoral individuals like the Beast Pirates. In other words, Santa strap this asshole to a big lump of coal and drown him.

4. Doflamingo

One of the most popular villians in the series is Donquixote Doflamingo, former Warlord, top broker, and King Of Dressrosa. Man, you could have a long list of all the shit he’s pulled throughout his career and life. On the outside he might look like a gaudy Elton John rip off, but on the inside bleeds one of the scariest and ruthless characters in the series. No wonder because he was born of the World Nobles, who are a sociopathic and psychotic bunch. From his take over to Dressrosa to funding Ceasar Clown’s research, he certainly can make you scared of the color pink. And that is why we have to heep this birds feathers with a black sheen.

3. Orochi

While Doffy is pretty to look at and is flamboyantly fun, Orochi just embodies “hate sink” stereotypes. He’s just made to be obvious that this guy is not going to be a good person. Spoilers ahead: I know he was influenced into becoming an asshole but he is still an asshole who sold out his country for his own benefit. Not to mention currently it was shown he was heavily implied to be the one who killed Suriyaki and lied to everyone about being named a successor with the help of that strange woman. His 20 years of terror have caused nothing but hurt to everyone under his rule as he causes a famine due to the occupying forces of the Beast Pirates. All of his because he believed he was entitled like his grandfather to be Shogun. He also wastes food, as his country is starving and feeds a whole village of hungry people failed “Smiles” so that they can quit crying about their dead loved ones. I know Santa would know of a way to get into this closed off country, so that he can deliver this shistain a coal that is as big as a mountain.

2. Kaido

Here is the man of thousand beasts and leader of the Beast pirates. Even though Blackbeard himself is no saint, he doesn’t seem to want to destroy the world like Kaido does. An unstoppable juggernaut, he sees suicide as a way to kill boredom and is often on his ass drunk. He’s ruled over Wano through Orochi for 2 decades, as he has decimated it into a famine wide place except the capitol where the rich and his toadie lives. He uses the land to function his own war effort and has caused many of the Wano people to go through great periods of grief. Like with Blackbeard, he’s an unromanticed version of what a pirate is really like. So, Kaido be prepared for Onigashima to reign coal like it’s no tomorrow.

1. World Nobles (Celestial Dragons)

By default, you know these shitty bastards would top the list. The biggest reason because of the fact that they are above the law and are allowed to do anything they like because they are so-called “gods”. They treat the general population like crap, while blatantly owning slaves when it was supposed to have been illegalized 2 centuries ago. They are also supported by a thing called heavenly tribute which country of the world government has to give continuously, lest they get kicked out and have no way of defending themselves from pirates or slave traffickers. So I can say the biggest coal getters go to these fat pigs in their towers. Better yet they should coal statues made in (dis)honor of them.

[archiefm]

         ... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long  so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism. 

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog). 

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right 

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

 in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes:  the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily. 

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

        if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is! 

[p101-in-progress]

A brief follow-up to this post, this time discussing the point that most strongly seems to imply Wizard101 and Pirate101 do take place at the same time: the Emperor of MooShu’s illness. 

The basis for this connection comes almost entirely from the “MooShu” puppet show in Pirate101. Wan Mo summarizes the events that led to the Emperor being cursed during Wizard101, only to be cut off when Ninja Pigs assassinate him mid-lecture.

Perhaps the most compelling piece of evidence in the puppet show is this line: “He was cursed into a deep, dark sleep from which he could not wake, and which grips him still.” This would appear to confirm that the Pirate must be in MooShu at the same time as the Wizard. However, despite apparently confirming that the events of Wizard101 and Pirate101 are concurrent, nothing else about the story Kingsisle tells adds up. If this single line (which, it should be noted, is never relevant beyond passing references to the Emperor being ill) is ignored, all other available evidence points toward the Pirate arriving in MooShu much, much later than the Wizard.

First, and perhaps foremost, the timing of events simply doesn’t add up if both stories happen simultaneously. As Tumblr user @chronoverge pointed out in another reply to the initial post, this scenario raises far more questions than it answers:

“In wizard101, we’re hot on Malistaire’s heels and soon after Malistaire injures the Emperor and escapes, we go through MooShu as fast as possible to heal the Emperor and get to Dragonspyre before the Dragon Titan is awoken. But in pirate101, the Emperor is implied to have been in a deep, dark sleep for ages. Nothing has been added to the game to suggest that the Emperor has woken up. Nothing’s even been mentioned about the four Onis across the land causing some of the plagues and wars. Instead, we’ve had some information on cults that worship Hamakala (which is also touched on briefly in Kembaalung in wiz’s level 25 dungeon too) but nothing on the Onis, who were a huge part in wiz’s storyline.”

The Wizard arrives in MooShu shortly after Malistaire, as evidenced by their face-to-face confrontation with him in the final dungeon of the previous world, Marleybone (The Last Meow, Wizard101). Then, as stated above, they spend a relatively short time working to stop the Oni and heal the Emperor before following Malistaire to Dragonspyre. Wan Mo’s dialogue implies that the Emperor has been asleep for quite a while already, meaning the Pirate must arrive near the end of the Wizard’s time in MooShu; however, by this point, the Wizard has already taken care of most of MooShu’s problems and departs shortly after, while the Pirate lingers in MooShu for weeks or months beyond that point (MooShu puppet show, Pirate101). During this time, the Oni and their devastating effect on the lives of the people are never mentioned, or even alluded to.

The most logical explanation for these inconsistencies is that the threats of Malistaire and the Oni passed long ago. The Pirate arrives at a time when the people’s minds are occupied by new threats; General Tso’s rebellion and the encroaching ships of the Amber Horde. Furthermore, forty years is well within the span of an average person’s lifetime; it follows that Wan Mo’s account of what happened to the Emperor and MooShu’s resulting descent into lawlessness and chaos is based on what he experienced in his youth. While the events that he describes as taking place “Not too long ago” are not nearly as recent as his words might imply, they are still a part of the world’s recent history. (Wan Mo Time, Pirate101)

A second indicator that some time has passed is the fact that Wan Mo is aware of the curse on the Emperor and the events leading up to it in the first place. When the Wizard first arrives in MooShu, they are cautioned to keep the Emperor’s curse under wraps to prevent the people from panicking (An Ailing Emperor, Wizard101). No doubt the MooShuan government kept the information under close guard until after the Emperor was revived. Though rumors would inevitably spread, it’s unlikely that  anyone outside of the Emperor’s most trusted confidants would be privy to the whole story. However, if the Pirate arrived in MooShu over forty years after the Wizard departed, there would be no more need to keep the story secret.

This begs the question: if Malistaire and the Emperor’s curse were dealt with decades before the Pirate arrived in MooShu, why would Wan Mo bother to bring it up? This connection can be explained by a figure who is known for working behind the scenes to twist chaos and destruction for his own ends: Moo Manchu. 

Players who stick to the main story quests of Pirate101 never come into direct conflict with Moo Manchu, but they do briefly come into contact with him during the promotion quest for either their  Erebus companion or their Kraken Skulls companion, depending on their class. In each case, he is revealed to be the ultimate instigator behind whatever challenge the companion is facing. His true power and intentions, namely to conquer MooShu and become its Emperor, aren’t revealed unless the player follows a sidequest chain beginning with The Moo Manchurian Candidate.

Even players who, for whatever reason, don’t complete these promotion quests are still given a glimpse of Moo Manchu. Wan Mo’s final words describe how many people turned against the Emperor when he was cursed, and name one as the greatest of them all. However, he is cut off just before he can say the person’s name. Many people assume that he is referring to General Tso, the main antagonist the Pirate faces at the time, but the image we are shown tells a different story. 

The looming figure in the back is clearly not General Tso. It is, however a dead ringer for Moo Manchu. 

If Moo Manchu is indeed the “greatest of the evil men to turn against the Emperor” during the Wizard’s time in MooShu, it’s entirely possible that he has been making bids for the throne since long before the Pirate came into contact with him. His presence would explain the appearance of the Oni after the Emperor was cursed; once Malistaire took the Dragonspyre Spiral Key from the sleeping Emperor, he would have no reason to plunge MooShu into further chaos. The Jade Champion confirms that Malistaire immediately fled through the Spiral Door after taking the key. (An Ailing Emperor, Wizard101)

It’s possible that unleashing the Oni was Moo Manchu’s first attempt to seize MooShu’s throne, an attempt that a certain travelling wizard thwarted without ever suspecting that their enemy, Malistaire, might not be responsible. The people of MooShu, forced to live with the aftermath of these events, had more opportunity to discover the truth after the fact.

Thus, when the rumblings of treachery from General Tso began, Wan Mo, who lived through the results of Moo Manchu’s machinations in his youth, suspected that the sorcerer might once again be responsible. (Suspicions which Moo Manchu himself would later confirm in the Tower of Winter’s Fury.) This would explain why Wan Mo felt the need to begin by talking about an event that took place nearly half a century prior. He was trying to warn the Pirate that Moo Manchu was likely responsible for MooShu’s current peril. Sadly, his explanation was cut off by a Ninja Pig’s blade, leaving them ignorant to the danger they faced. (Wan Mo Time, Pirate101) The Pirate thus is left with no way to learn the truth until after they’ve defeated General Tso, as The Moo Manchurian Candidate does not become available until shortly after beginning the second half of MooShu’s storyline.

It’s likely that, after the Oni were defeated, Moo Manchu chose to lay low and let the people of MooShu fall back into complacency. There is a precedent already in place of powerful magic users living for centuries, or even longer, as confirmed by the aspects of Merle Ambrose’s backstory revealed in Avalon. Moo Manchu, referred to as a powerful necromancer, could easily benefit from the same effect, giving him decades to manipulate events and prepare for another attempt to seize power (Emperor Moo, Pirate101). He worked from the shadows, gathering power and manipulating people and events to set of a chain reaction that would once again plunge MooShu into chaos. The encroachment of the Amber Horde into Subata (and perhaps some other political turmoil, such as the death of an emperor triggering an internal power struggle), gave him the chance to do so. Sadly for him, another enterprising young adventurer appeared to throw a wrench into his plans. 

The minor inconsistencies introduced into the MooShu storyline by assuming Pirate101 takes place after Wizard101 are easy to resolve with some thought. Moo Manchu’s presence is the linchpin that ties past and present together. It not only fills plot holes in the Wizard101 storyline, but explains references in the Pirate101 storyline that would not otherwise make sense.

[towaniegaita]

Hey My Friend [Shirofuku, 30th June 2014]

Original post in Japanese

Good evening, Shirofuku here (・∀・)

One day in the sharehouse we were watching TV together while eating dinner.

There was a special programme playing with the theme 'Does having a lot of friends really make you happy?'

I'm the type who doesn't have many friends so I was particularly interested.

People who have like 400 or 1000 friends are really amazing huh (monotone)

Both having few friends and having lots of friends seem pointless yet I'm still a bit envious.

What actually is a friend?

Don't worry, I'm not getting all depressive or anything, I just want to think about it casually for a moment.

Looking back, even when I was in primary school I would get sick with nerves when the time came to change classes for the next year.

I was fixated on the idea that I'd end up alone if I didn't make friends.

I think everyone has felt like that though.

As soon as I thought I'd finally made a friend, I'd become closed off to anyone else.

To put it short, I guess I was looking for stability.

Human relationships are a real bother.

I think that they cause the majority of stress, not just for myself but for everyone.

But I can't survive just avoiding human contact.

There are times when I get lonely on my own, but there are also times when I just want to be by myself.

Sometimes I think I'm kind of like a cat.

Nya~

Our activities as Musumen. will always be as a group.

It's not the case that everything will be fine as long as I myself am okay.

As someone who likes to work alone it really makes me think.

I used to wish that people who didn't have the motivation could just be dragged to the back and weeded out, and I didn't expect very much of others,

But the same can't be said when it comes to a group.

If each member does not grow in their own way, the group's strength will not improve.

I think those who are strict with both themselves and others are really admirable.

Even when I look at those who aren't strict but can get people to gather around them, I can see their appeal.

For me, being an idol is a profession where your character is on show, so I genuinely want to become the type of person who draws in others not just on stage, but in day-to-day activities too.

However, as a self-confessed socially awkward person, I don't actually know how to make friends with people LMAO

I'm trying to remember how I've survived so far haha

But the truth is that even I have a few friends who I want to meet up with and talk to sometimes.

It's so difficult to answer the question of what a friend actually is.

Even now I keep writing, erasing and rewriting my sentences…

 I think this will probably trouble me for my whole life haha

Just as evil organisations want to conquer the planet, so idols aim to be loved by everyone in the world.

However, there's no way that you can truly be loved by everyone. Somewhere in the world there will always be someone who doesn't like you.

Idols also sing love songs, even though we're bound by the iron rules of the Love Ban.

We're well aware of that, yet we still sing about love and wish to be loved by people everywhere.

But I think these contradictions and difficulties are what make an idol grow.

It's an extreme example, but in my mind 'Living connected to others' and 'Living by oneself' are always contradicting each other and frustrating me.

That's exactly why I'll probably be thinking about the importance of being grateful to others and being strict with myself for my whole life.

As usual I've lost track of what I wanted to say haha

The title of this blog 'Hey My Friend' is one of my favourite songs by Tommy heavenly6.

It's also the ending theme for the movie 'Kamikaze Girls'.

 'Hello my self

I’ve got a future that I seem to be guided towards

But if there’s a road I can step off onto nearby…

Hey, my friend

Let me know when you realize'

 (T/N: Lyrics translation by kimonobeat obtained here)

It's a good song.

By the way, I draw that picture of a cat but when Tomitan saw it he said, "Hey, what's this pig for?"

 (・∀・)ﾉｼ

[amoralto]

Playgirl: Paul! (June, 1982)

(Note: I’ve been wondering if I should include more full articles/interviews on the blog, i.e. pieces that are not already available and/or hosted online. This is one of them - more of an overview/feature piece, but worth a read nonetheless. For Paul and Linda’s 1985 interview w/ Playgirl, I typed it up a while ago here. Previous quote posts from both articles: here, here.) 

-

by Mark Rowland

He turns 40 this month, and if he is anything like the rest of us, the last 20 must feel as close as yesterday. Was it really so long ago that four working-class chums from a dingy English port town sang and laughed and shook their mop-tops to signal a crumbling of the old order and a hailing of the new? You look for the signs of age in recent photographs, but the changes are so subtle—a slight hollowing of those cherubic cheeks, perhaps a hint of wariness in eyes that used to sparkle with playful coquetry. Yes, time has been a gentle thief.

The lad who stole girls’ hearts all ’round the world is a husband of 13 years standing, and the father of four. The inveterate rock ’n’ roller divides his time between home and studio, now surfacing to promote a new album (Tug of War, Columbia), soon disappearing back into the mists of his Scotland farm. Which is just as it should be. Paul McCartney, handsome and rich and brimming with easy charm—and still the mirror in which we seek the reflection of our own youthful dreams.

“I like Walt Disney cartoons—they sort of live forever.” Paul McCartney

In fact, the last decade has not treated Paul all that kindly. When it becan he was, quite simply, a hero. By its close he’d become the subject of casual ridicule, a turnabout engineered in part by the mocking comments of his former best friend and musical compatriot, John Lennon. Any critical appraisal of his band, Wings, was bound to include unflattering comparisons to the Beatles and/or snide references to the credentials of its keyboard player, who just happened to be Paul’s wife.

And then there was Wings’ disastrous final episode, a triumphant tour of Japan that abruptly terminated when customs officials unearthed a hefty cache of marijuana in Paul’s luggage. Instead of Budokan’s concert stage, McCartney commenced a 10-day engagement “live” in the local jail, regaling his fellow inmates with renditions of “Yesterday” and “Mull of Kintyre”. Then he was deported.

“He certainly received quite a shock,” recalls Michael McCartney, Paul’s brother and the author of an affectionate family history entitled The Macs (Delilah Communications, Ltd.). “But even worse was the way the media deliberately distorted his situation. When I said I was angry at what was happening, for instance, they made it sound like I was angry at Paul. So just at the crucial moment, when the court is weighing judgment, they read the papers and think, ‘My God, even his own family thinks he’s a fool.’ It could have gone to his detriment, you know. He could have been locked up for years.”

Paul’s problem, of course, is that he has always appeared just a tad too sexy, too suave, too eager to please. His equipoise looms like a red flag to critics ready to knock him down a peg, and no matter that his temperament is genuinely affable. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a bad mood,” contends rockabilly great Carl Perkins, a friend of nearly 20 years standing. “I’ve worked with a lot of greats, from Elvis to Dylan, and they could all get pretty moody at times. But Paul’s not like that. I’m sure he has a time and place, but it doesn’t interfere with his outward personality.” Though McCartney is far from invulnerable, it has never been his style to exorcise personal demons in public, a la John Lennon. Instead, he turns inward, to his family and his music. When the Beatles broke apart, Paul did both—he formed a new band with his wife.

“If you want the Beatles, go see Wings.” George Harrison

“I think I’m good. I like me, I’m good. I can dig me. Can you?” Paul McCartney

“He sounds like Englebert Humperdinck.” John Lennon

Wings took flight in 1971, when Paul and Linda joined forces with old pal Denny Laine (from the Moody Blues) and drummer Danny Seiwell. It endured, in various incarnations, for eight more years and eight more albums. Paul first conceived the band as a vehicle for playing small clubs and halls, a return to his rock roots and an emergence from the isolation that, in Paul’s view, had ultimately destroyed the Beatles. As a traveling show, Wings was a hit from the start—who wouldn’t want to hear Paul play the local pub?—but a succession of pop hits soon propelled him back to superstar-sized arenas and concert halls.

Critical acclaim was not so readily forthcoming. Without the Beatles’ special alchemy Paul’s romanticism tended to drift toward pap, lacking the spark of originality that characterized the best McCartney-Lennon collaborations. His most acrid critic, to Paul’s everlasting chagrin, turned out to be Lennon. For years they squabbled like ex’s unable to leave behind a stormy marriage, but when it came to sarcastic repartee John was in a class by himself. Japes like the one about Humperdinck, or the picture of John hoisting a pig by its ears (a wicked sendup of Paul holding up a sheep on the cover of his Ram album) wounded Paul deeply. He still has not entirely recovered; in a recent interview he claimed to draw fresh solace from his conversations with Yoko Ono. “She tells me something very important,” he revealed, “that John still loved me, after all.”

“Of course my brother and John loved each other,” declares Michael McCartney, “same as my brother and I do. Brothers have their feuds—you love ’em and you hate ’em. Oh, it’s easy enough to put all the negative parts under a microscope. I could have written a book called Paulie Dearest, slagged him to death and made millions. But it wouldn’t have been the truth. With Paul and John, though, all the dirty linen was brought out in public.”

Despite, or perhaps because of, such controversy, Paul continued to pour his energy into the music, and by 1976, his faith had been rewarded. Wings toured America that year like conquering heroes. McCartney was hailed on the cover of Time, and the band’s crack performances drew wildly ecstatic crowds and rave reviews. Amidst all the hoopla, however, Paul and Linda remained serene and jocular, causing one associate to marvel that McCartney was the only touring rock star around who knew how to keep a grip on his sanity.

”Groupies, chicks. It was fabulous. I loved it. There was no stopping me after a (Beatles) show. I was the biggest raver out. But I got to thinking, ‘What am I doing with my life? Who am I getting to know? What one chick do I know as a pal?’ And there weren’t any… Mainly, I’d sown enough wild oats. Making love does become a sort of commitment—I love the idea of vows and stuff. To tell the truth, it keeps me kind of straight.” Paul McCartney, 1974

“I’m not sophisticated, a good conversationalist, looking good all the time. I don’t think of myself like Jacqueline Kennedy or Patricia Nixon.” Linda McCartney, 1974

Paul was always the most desirable of the Beatle bachelors, and by the end of the sixties, he was the only one left. Any whiff of serious romance merited close scrutiny by the press. Thus, Linda “no relation to Kodak” Eastman was in for some rough sport, when, after a relatively swift courtship, she and Paul tied the knot in 1969. A rock photographer at the Fillmore East who’d enjoyed acquaintanceships with various rock figures previous to meeting Paul, she was dubbed the “Park Avenue groupie”—a sobriquet that says more about rock’s inbred sexism than Linda’s character. (Years later, Rolling Stone slurred Joni Mitchell in much the same fashion.)

Nonetheless, Paul and Linda took to the life of domestic bliss with remarkable dispatch, a condition rather smugly documented on their first two records together, Ram and Wild Life. Since then, however, they’ve managed to sustain the ideal of traditional marriage and family—no mean feat in this era of celebrity swapstakes. Though rumors of discord surface from time to time, from all indications, their marriage remains solid. Indeed, one of the highlights of the Wings Over America tour was Paul’s impassioned rendition of “My Love”, crooning the hook “my love does it gooood” while a smiling Linda posed before the multitudes, hands on hips, letting no one miss the implications of that particular song.

“Paul would be sort of a Republican.” John Eastman, Paul’s brother-in-law and business manager

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Paul McCartney is “the most honored man in music.” One is naturally inclined to trust Guinness in these matters, and Paul’s statistics do tell an amazing story—over 100 million album sales, 100 million singles sales and, separately, 43 million-selling songs. Since 1970, all 10 of Paul’s records (solo and with Wings) have been certified gold by the Record Industry Association of America. The last five releases have also gone platinum (over a million units sold), and his newest, Tug of War, which features Ringo, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson and Carl Perkins, is certain to do the same.

During the sixties, however, only a small part of the Beatles’ fabulous success translated into personal wealth. For many years the band relied on a loose network of acquaintances to handle their financial matters—most proved either honest or competent, but rarely both. But under the guidance of John Eastman, Paul has since realized a vast financial empire, with an estimated annual income, mostly from record and publishing royalties, of about $40 million. His publishing house, MPL, originally established for tax purposes, is the largest independent song publisher in the world, holding the rights to scores from Grease, Annie, Hello Dolly, A Chorus Line, Bye Bye Birdie and Mame; standards from “On, Wisconsin” to “Stormy Weather” and “Autumn Leaves”; the entire catalog of Buddy Holly songs, rags by Scott Joplin, songs by Ira Gershwin, even the theme to the Dinah Shore TV show. And in a recent twist of fate, Paul and Yoko are currently negotiating with British mogul Sir Lew Grade to buy back Northern Songs, the catalog of early Beatles hits (including “Yesterday”) that was sold during the sixties. The whimsical Beatle has turned out to be one savvy entrepreneur.

Less publicized, however, are McCartney’s frequent gestures of charity. He’s performed various benefits for UNESCO, and, in 1979,, following a plea from then-Secretary General of the United Nations Kurt Waldheim, he personally organized a giant pop concert to raise the emergency relief aid for Kampuchea. The event and subsequent album, Concerts for the People of Kampuchea (featuring the Who, Queen, the Pretenders and Elvis Costello, among others), has netted UNICEF over $600,000 to date, according to organization officials. A concert movie will also be released around the United States and Europe this summer.

McCartney’s generosity crops up in smaller, more personal encounters. “When I first decided to become a writer, I sent a bunch of stuff to Paul,” recalls Laura Gross, now a radio interviewer at KRLA, the “Beatles station” of Los Angeles. “Then, when he came to L.A., I knocked on the door of his hotel, and he said ‘Oh yes, I’ve read your stuff, you ought to send us what you’re doing. Linda and I are very interested.’ Here I was, a stranger and a nobody, and he took the time to be kind. He gave me encouragement at a time when that was very important to me.”

“He was my boss,” observes Wings guitarist Laurence Juber, “but he was also my teacher. At one point he gave me a fairly substantial budget just so I could develop my own ideas. He’s an extremely benevolent sort of person, but he doesn’t shout about it. He’s aware of his responsibility to other talents, otherwise he wouldn’t be a nice person, and he is a nice person. Of course, he’s always got that element of cockiness about him, because he’s come such a long way. Don’t forget, he was just a kid off the street in Liverpool. That’s all any of them were.”

“Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust.” The Clash

“I love Paul, he’s my favourite—brown, white, red, blue or green! He is the Beatles.” Little Richard, interviewed by KRLA’s Laura Gross

In 1974, Mark Lapidos decided to put together a kind of giant swap meet and communal gathering for Beatles fans. He called it Beatlefest, rented a hall, and ended up admitting 7,000 people and turning away thousands more. This year, Beatlefest will span 11 days in four different U.S. cities, as interest continues to mount in a group that called it quits more than a decade ago. “We’re not living in the past,” Lapidos insists. “You take surveys now and ask young people their favourite group and what do they say? The Beatles! Their music will not die. It is the cultural phenomenon of the century.”

Lapidos may be right. The past year has evidenced yet another spate of books and articles about the Beatles, along with discoveries of long-dormant radio recordings and master tapes by the Fab Foursome. And if anything, the hideous murder of John Lennon in December 1980 seems to have inspired fans to rekindle the flame of memory. “We simply couldn’t let that act destroy such an important part of our lives,” explains Lapidos. “Actually, we became more like family, pulling closer together after we’d lost our brother.”

The man who knew John Lennon best was devastated by his murder. Paul’s friend, Paddy Moloney of the Chieftains, remembers seeing McCartney looking “stunned. He said it was useless and tragic, (but) I don’t think it had penetrated that John was gone forever. I’m sure it took a few days for that to sink in.” When it did, Paul turned, as he always did in times of crisis, to his closest ally—music. At the suggestion of friend and producer George Martin, he shifted base from London to Martin’s studio on the Caribbean island of Montserrat, away from the obtrusive glare of the media. Once settled in with Linda and the kids, he called up Ringo, Wingsmate Denny Laine, Carl Perkins, Stevie Wonder, and embarked on the most ambitious and painstaking project of his musical career.

“I have never met a more dedicated musician than Paul McCartney. He’ll work all night on a little guitar lick until he gets it just the way he wants it. He’s a perfectionist.” Carl Perkins

The intensity of his commitment on Montserrat became its own kind of therapy. Between sessions the musicians would swim, sun on the beach, or take Jeep rides along the scenic island trails. But after two months, McCartney and Martin returned to London, where they continued to refine the material for another year. The sessions had produced two albums worth of music; the second set was still in its final stages of completion when I phoned Martin’s studio in March. A spokesperson remarked that McCartney was anxiously awaiting its public reception. “I think Paul wants to have a truly ‘musical’ success this time, not just a popular one,” she declared. “He really wants to be recognized for achieving something.”

In the past decade, McCartney’s most trying periods have often fostered his best work—McCartney and Ram, following the Beatles split; Band on the Run in 1973, when Wings was coming apart at the seams, and to a lesser extent, Back to the Egg in 1979, amidst persistent rumors that Paul and Linda’s marriage was on the rocks. But all of those efforts pale, I think, beside Tug of War. Here Paul has finally cast off the aureole of calculated cuteness that marred so much of his seventies music, and penned lyrics that are evocative, unsentimental and deeply personal. At the same time, the album’s sheer range and spunky, let’s-try-it-on spirit recalls the Beatles at their most ambitious, from the daring juxtaposition of rock ’n’ roll rhythm and big band texture that propels “Ballroom Dancing” to the graceful, quirky country swing duet with Perkins, to the hothouse funk of “What’s That��, a six-minute corker with Stevie Wonder that bears favorable comparison to Wonder’s own “Superstition”. Yet the record’s most eloquent moment is its most elemental—a quiet, heartfelt paean to McCartney’s fallen brother, entitled “Here Today.”

And if I said I really knew you well, What would your answer be? Well, knowing you, You’d probably laugh, And say that we were worlds apart If you were here today… here today.

Every era has its myths—from Jesus to Camelot to the Beatles—and every myth exists to fill the special needs of its culture. As Beatle Paul, he will always play the courtly knight, the crooning Lancelot in shining Nehru jacket. But the real Paul McCartney is no more or less than a talented musician with wife and kids, nearing middle age and trying, along with the rest of us, to sort out the various slings and arows of life’s fortune. It is no put-down to say that nothing he ever does, no matter how accomplished, can again approach the majesty of the legend he once helped create, precisely because it is a legend.

“Why should the Beatles give more?” John Lennon once asked, with characteristic bluntness. “Didn’t they give everything on God’s earth for 10 years? Didn’t they give themselves?”

So now Lennon is gone, though his restless, vibrant spirit survives among the living. And now Paul McCartney, unarguably one of the premier artists of his generation, continues with his own life’s work, which is simply to make music for the world to hear and enjoy; perhaps even be touched by.

[tisfan]

The Blacksmith

Square: K1 - historical Warning: none Pairing: Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark Summary: During the Civil War (Shield Vs. Hydra) the common people find trouble no matter who the soldiers are.  Link: A03

A/N - So, very delicately, this is an AU of the Civil War (not the one in the MCU, but the actual anti-slavery, north vs south, American Civil War.

During the war, these things happened, soldiers from either side frequently robbed and abused the common people, either because they were owed it (North taking stuff that belonged to northerners, etc) or they were the enemy (south taking things from northerners) or they were deserters and taking stuff because they were already wanted men.

In any case, the non-combatants have a lot of terrible stories, and a lot of times, were never happy to see soldiers at all.

So, this is loosely based on some of that history.

I have a lot of weird backstory to this, and how the Hydra troops coming up the lawn actually have Bucky in their midst, and a TON of other story around it, but I wanted to try to keep this short. I may expand it later.

It's also sort of loosely based on Tony Stark's backstory for the 1872 series (which is really great if you've never read it, I highly recommend.)

Pietro dashed down the long drive toward the farm house, waving his arms frantically.

Wanda saw him from the corner of her eye as she hung up the wash. The wind kept flapping the towels and sheets at her, and she was struggling to get the wet stuff hung up. No choice, they needed the cleaning done.

“What is it?”

“Soldiers, soldiers comin’,” Pietro gasped as he staggered to a halt, resting his hands on his knees.

“Hydra or Shield?”

“Does it matter? They’re soldiers, they’re gonna be hungry.”

(more below the cut)

That much was true. Their farm was good sized, but they were at risk of not having enough food for the winter. Every time soldiers came by, no matter what color they wore or what flag they gave the nod to, they picked over the food and supplies. Hydra because they believed that any they conquered were their rightful prey, and Shield, because Shield believed that, as the defenders, the civilians owed them.

The pretty words didn’t matter much at all; the results were the same. Soldiers came and they took what they wanted. If they were very lucky, they could keep Steve from getting involved. He’d come home from the war, barely alive with a lung infection that was bound to kill him sooner or later, but he kept trying to fight, to defend their home.

“Still, if it’s Hydra, Steve’ll want to fight them, no matter what,” Wanda said. “You think we can convince him t’ go and visit Peggy, before they get here, keep him--”

“No,” Peitro said. “They’re too close, he’ll cross them on the way, even if we could get him horseback that fast. He’ll know.”

“They’re Hydra,” Wanda said. She and her twin brother had been born in Hydra territory, not understanding what the war was about.

When a wounded Shield soldier, Clint Barton, had defended them against pillagers, they’d gone with him. Their home was destroyed, but they were alive. Clint brought them north, and there they’d stayed, trying to make up for any wrongs they’d done.

“Quick, get the pigs--” Pietro said. “Some chickens, and the goat.”

“And do what with them?”

“Take ‘em over to the smithy,” Pietro said. “There hasn’t been a blacksmith here in months, even Hydra should know that. Maybe they won’t look, and we’ll have the animals for the winter.”

“And what are you going to do while I’m playing pigherd?”

“Take Lucky with you,” Pietro said. “I’m gonna take as much of the food out to the woods and hang it up. Tell Steve what’s going on.”

“Good luck.”

“Hurry, before they get in sight!”

Wanda managed to hitch the goat up to the small cart, caged half the chickens and all the fresh-hatched chicks, and two of the pigs bringing up the rear. The rest of the pigs would go to feed the Hydra troops and maybe they wouldn’t look for more. It had been a hard year, all the men away to war. No one expected much anymore. The war was destroying the country. Soon there wouldn’t be enough people left in it to fight over who was right and who was wrong. Who were real people, and who were property.

The cart was slow going, since she wasn’t taking the road, practically leading the nanny goat over tree roots and through brambles. By the time the smithy was in sight, all overgrown with weeds, the forge long-cold, she was cut and scraped from underbrush, thirsty and terrified.

Wanda about cried at the sight of the smithy, staggered toward it, dragging the goat and cart. The smith had needed water to quench the metal he worked, surely there was a well. Wanda tied the cart to the hitching post. Water first, then she’d see about getting the pigs penned in.

She opened the door to the smithy, a wide open building with lots of arcane tools-- “cup, cup, he must have--”

“You come to drink with me?”

Wanda shrieked, fell over backward, hitting a row of farm tools and knocking them to the ground with a terrible clatter. “Who are you?”

“You know who I am. The blacksmith,” the man said, getting to his feet. He swayed back and forth, someone who’d had a little too much wine. “This is my house. I think the question is; who are you?”

“I’m uh--” Wanda squeaked, and then one of the pigs practically mauled her, wandering inside to see what was going on. It was chewing on the end of its lead rope casually, like a man with a cigar.

“Well, Uh, that’s a big pig you got there,” the blacksmith said.

“Yes, I mean, yes sir, I mean. My name’s Wanda. I’m-- I live right--” She pointed back toward the house.

“I thought that was Captain Roger’s place,” the blacksmith said, taking a swig out of a little flask. “Want a drink?”

“I shouldn’t,” Wanda said.

“Neither should anyone. Alcohol is the very devil’s brew. Never stopped me,” the blacksmith said, offering her the flask.

Wanda took it, sniffed at it delicately. She’d never actually had anything stronger than a little watered down ratifa wine. This did not smell watered down, and there was the possibility that the smith’s mouth wasn’t entirely clean. Rather be hanged for the chicken then the egg, Wanda decided, tilted her head back and poured some of the liquor into her mouth. It burned, but almost pleasantly, like a warm bath for her tongue.

When she swallowed, all the air seemed to get drawn out of her lungs, and she coughed a few times, her eyes watering. The blacksmith didn’t laugh, or even smirk. “Go on, you keep that one, I have more.”

“What is it?” She took another sip, and this one warmed all the way down, to places that Wanda hadn’t even realized were cold.

“Brandy,” the blacksmith said. “You didn’t say why you’re living up to Roger’s place?”

“Oh, uh… we got. Adopted? I guess? My brother and I, we helped Mr. Barton when he was wounded, and he brought us up here after some deserters burned our home.”

“And the captain?”

“He’s recovering.”

“Recovering? Steve? From what? I would have thought it a cold day in hell before something could hurt that man.”

“He-- he got shot, infection settled into his lungs,” Wanda explained. She took another sip out of the flask. The brandy seemed to taste better the more she drank of it, and soon she was wrapping her hands around the flask. “What about you, sir? I didn’t know there was still a smith here.”

“There wasn’t,” Tony said. “Not until a few days ago. Not-- well, it doesn’t matter. I guess you could call me a deserter, too. But rather than burning other people’s homes and stealing food -- I assume you brought that big old porker with you to hide him -- I just took my toys and came home.”

“You’re a deserter?”

“Well, that’ll depend on the trial, if there is one,” Tony said. “After the war ends. If it does. I like to think of myself as a gentlemen, and after they violated their side of a gentlemen’s agreement, I was within my rights to leave them.” He dug through a bag and pulled out another flask. “Whiskey’s this one.” He tipped it up and probably drank half in a few long swallows.

“Is that all right?”

“The whiskey? It’s okay. I’ve had better.”

“No, if the pig-- two pigs, really, sir, and chickens, and our milking goat.”

“Enterprising little thing, aren’t you,” Tony commented. “Yeah, you can keep them here. Is it Hydra at the gate?”

“Yes, sir, my brother spotted them out to the highway.”

“Run on back home,” Tony said. “Get as many of the animals, and all your humans, bring them back here.”

“Here, sir?”

Tony nodded. “I’m a blacksmith,” he said. “Do you know what I smith?”

Wanda shook her head. “Farm tools and horseshoes?”

Tony shrugged. “Among other things. But mostly… guns. And warmachines. I brought my toys home. Get your family. I’ll protect them.”

“Just you, sir? Against a brigade?”

Tony whisked a blanket off-- something that looked like a metal man, all bristling weapons and shiny steel.

“Just me,” he said, opening up the armor. “Run, girl, go! Hydra doesn’t wait for visiting hours.”

Wanda handed Tony back his flask. “Yes, sir!”

[frangipanilove]

The “Mary Magdalene Theory” Part Seven:

Coolers, The North Star, Bears and Beer

My “Mary Magdalene theory”is turning into quite the monster, I hereby present to you part seven (they are picture heavy posts, don’t worry)! This is going to be a direct continuation of the first six posts, so I’m afraid much of this is going to sound utterly ridiculous if you haven’t read parts one to six. But to quickly summarize it I attempt to explain how I believe that The White Trash Brunch from “Alone” is the TWD version of Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous painting “The Last Supper”. The painting depicts Jesus’ last meal with the Apostles the night before sacrificing himself, and to commemorate this last meal Christians perform a ritual (The Holy Communion) by eating small piece of bread, (representing “The Body of Christ”), as well as drinking a small amount of wine (representing “The Blood Of Christ”). Last time I explained how there are certain symbols that keep appearing in the show, and long story short, feet and horses represent “The Body Of Christ” which in turn represents Beth.

In this meta I will try to explain the “Blood Of Christ” part, and the way this affects Beth’s story. In the picture below you’ll find the Frosty Cola and the pigs feet in in center. The Frosty Cola from the White Trash Brunch represents the Blood of Christ, and the show utilizes this symbolism in a multitude of ways. As in parts one to six, most of what I discuss here are symbols and connections that has been subjected to intense analysis within the TD community for years. I do however believe that I can offer some new perspectives.

Let me begin by referring to a deleted scene from 4x12 “Still”, in which Beth and Daryl are walking through the woods, searching for the alcohol she suddenly decided that she needed. Beth explains how she, due to her fathers alcoholism, never drank before, she couldn’t even hold one of those red party cups, she always just had a can of soda instead. It’s a short scene, but in it she manages to mention no less than THREE of the symbols that we’ve known to be so heavy attached to her character. By having her mentioning them, the writers effectively establish a connection between her and the symbols beer, red party cups, and soda cans. I think alcohol in general, but beer specifically, represents Beth. Of course I’m not the first to notice a connection between Beth and beer/alcohol, but I will later explain exactly why I think beer/alcohol is such a potent Beth symbol, and it’s not quite the same that’s been discussed before. But I’ll get back to it.

We first see the red party cups in 4x2 “Infected”, in a scene where Beth bandages Michonne’s ankle (remember how feet represents “The Body of Christ”, as I explained in my last meta), while Judith sits on the floor, playing with red party cups. The cups are purely symbolic, and most importantly, they are red. Red means resurrection, as I explained in part one of this series of posts.

Then 4x4 “Indifference” happens, and it’s an episode so loaded with symbolism I could easily write tens of thousands of words on that episode alone (don’t worry, I won’t). But let’s hone in on the Suicide Gang in the service station that Bob and Daryl search through looking for distilled water for the batteries. Daryl calls them “douchebags”, committing suicide kumbaya style when they could have gotten out instead.

The important part here is not the fact that they committed suicide, it’s HOW they committed suicide. They drank antifreeze from red party cups! The red color symbolizes resurrection through the Mary Magdalene Easter egg symbolism that I discussed in part one. The red objects in the show represents resurrection. Sure, they committed suicide by drinking antifreeze, and yes! Suicide means death, there isn’t really any way around that.

Except there is.

They drank the antifreeze out of red party cups. Red items represents resurrection (due to the red Easter egg symbolism). The resurrection symbolism of the red objects cancel out the death symbolism of the consumption of antifreeze. Antifreeze without the “anti” ? It’s just freeze. A reference to the Frosty Cola from “Alone”. The Blood Of Christ from the symbolic Last Supper/White Trash Brunch!

The antifreeze is a coolant, and cold/cool/icy/frosty is a recurring theme that I’ve been paying attention to for quite some time. The first time it really stood out to me was in 5x10 “Them”. Again, an episode where Beth’s presence is heavily felt all the time. When they enter the barn, they find a walker in a room, and among random clutter on the floor are two blue coolers. In and of itself not highly suspicious, however when the exact same blue coolers appear in the sanctuary in 7x3 “The Cell”, I knew there was a cooler theme going on. On top of the kitchen cabinets in the room that Negan tries to tempt/torture Daryl into accepting, we find two blue coolers, identical to the ones from 5x10 “Them”.

So how are the coolers tied to Beth, and why are they relevant to TD? See, the White Trash Brunch is a parallel to the Last Supper, but not the last supper from the Bible! The last supper from the Da Vinci Code, which is a different thing, and represents something else entirely. The plot of the Da Vinci Code is that Mary Magdalene and Jesus were married, they eventually had a child, and that child carried on the blood line through history and into present day. And the Holy Grail, rather than being a chalice, a drinking vessel, is Mary Magdalene herself, whose remains rests in a secret tomb below the inverted pyramid at the Louvre. I’ve explained the significance of the greenhouses/glasshouses in TWD in earlier posts. They parallel the secret tomb below the inverted glass pyramid at the Louvre, but I won’t go into that here.

The important part is that during the White Trash Brunch/The Last Supper, they drank “Frosty Cola”. Taste that name, it’s virtually antifreeze without the “anti”. When TPTB decided to name that soft drink “Frosty Cola”, they also signaled that everything that is associated with cold, frosty, freezing, cool, coolant, ice and so forth, points back to the White Trash Brunch/Last Supper. Antifreeze, coolers, fridges (remember Jessie’s fridge with the drawing of a blond girl and a car?)...And what’s the ultimate frosty freezing thing imaginable?

North!

The North Star, that always, without exception, points north (let’s not be too rigid and start discussing the difference between The True North and the magnetic North Pole, that’s for a different time). Remember how Beth stared at the polar bear blanket in 5x9 ”WHAWGO”. Also, remember how Beth in the deleted scene from “Still” explained how she always ended up with a can of soda instead of holding those red party cups. And remember how Carl explained to Judith that the North Star was the star to identify if you’re ever lost. And finally, remember how the North Star is at the end of the Little Dipper, and that Beth represents the Little Dipper through the spoon symbolism from “Still”.

@twdmusicboxmystery has made a wonderful edit to illustrate this point:

http://twdmusicboxmystery.tumblr.com/post/143078069994/little-dipper-td-bethgreene-bethgreenelives

So, take in this polar bear from Tyreese’s death hallucination for a second. Notice how it has a red scarf tied around it’s neck:

At this point, we need to discuss bears and bear symbolism. Let me explain! There has been a lot of bear references on the show, and they have a tendency to show up alongside other important Beth symbols. Check out @twdmusicboxmystery’s master post on bear symbolism:

http://twdmusicboxmystery.tumblr.com/post/171698126634/bear-symbolism-master-post

The reason for that is that in my opinion, bears are used as symbols of the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, or the Greater Bear and the Lesser Bear. The first really significant Beth/bear connection was of course when she picked up the spoon in “Still”, the spoon representing the Little Dipper. The spoon scene, in combination with the scene where Carl talked to Judith about finding the North Star and how it’s located at the end of the Little Dipper, lay the foundation of the rest of the bear references on the show. Because even though Carl was technically right in his description of the North Star being located at the end of the Little Dipper, that’s not actually how you locate the North Star. I believe they wrote the scene like that solely to bring attention to the Little Dipper, and by doing so, connecting it to Beth’s spoon from “Still”.

That brings us to one of my absolute favorite things on the show; the Alaska license plate from 5x16 “Conquer”, that made Aaron the license plate collector so exited. At the time it seemed kind of random, but if you look closely at the license plate, you’ll discover that it has on it an illustration of the Big Dipper, as well as the North Star/Polaris. This is because the Alaska state flag includes this image, and I believe this is the reason why TPTB decided to include this particular license plate in the show. It functions as a way to illustrate how you really go about locating the North Star/Polaris. While the stars in the Little Dipper are faint and difficult to identify on the night sky, the stars of the Big Dipper are among the brightest stars on the night sky, making the Big Dipper one of the easiest constellations to identify. If you want to find the North Star, you first find the Big Dipper. Then you draw an imaginary line from the two stars at the edge of the ladle of the Dipper, and you’ll eventually find the North Star. The Alaska license plate illustrates exactly this, and that is the reason it was included in the episode.

And the reason that is so incredibly important for Beth’s story, is because locating the North Star is the first step of finding you way home when you’re lost. It’s canon, Carl said so! He told it to Judith, but Judith’s not going anywhere for a good while, that conversation was all about Beth.

Also, I can’t resist to mention Daryl’s choice of weapon in his fight with Justin in 9x2. A skillet!

It looks suspiciously like a super-big dipper to me. They could have given any weapon in the world, but they went for something that looks exactly like the Big Dipper.

The next time we encounter any significant North Star symbolism is in 7x2 “The Well”. The writing is literally on the wall in the Kingdom. We see Morgan pushing Carol in a wheelchair past some writings on the wall that reads “Hope is the North Star, let it guide you”. In part six I discussed how wheelchairs represent cars/tombs. Carol in the wheelchair parallels Beth in the car/tomb, but the North Star symbolism on the wall suggests that she made it out of the car/tomb, and will follow the North Star to find her way home. TPTB is blatantly encouraging us to let the North be our guide, and at the same time also emphasizing that the North Star represents hope. Hope is of course something we strongly associate with Beth, due to her “if you don’t have hope, then what’s the point of living” speech in 4x10 “Inmates”. Carol in the wheelchair symbolizes the tomb of Christ.

So! The North Star is located at the end of the Little Dipper, but to find it it will be far more useful to locate the Big Dipper. The Big Dipper consists of the seven brightest stars part of the constellation Ursa Major, which means Greater Bear. It goes under many different names. For those of you in the USA the name The Big Dipper will be most familiar, but in many countries in Europe it’s called “The Plough”. In Scandinavia it’s called “Karlsvogna” (referring to both “Carl’s wagon and “The Man wagon” Interestingly, in 9x1 “A New Beginning”, a plough and a wagon was given a considerable amount of screen time. For those who has read my previous metas on glasshouses with holes through the roof, you might recognize a familiar theme when Ezekiel went through the glass floor (which of course was the ceiling of the floor below, so it lines up perfectly with the glasshouse with holes through the roof theory). As he went through the glass he shouted “Save the plough!”, drawing even more attention to it, really emphasizing how important it was to save it. Now, consider the emphasis on the plough in relation to the fact that the Big Dipper (how you find the North Star) in many countries goes under the name the Plough. Consider how Ezekiel went through a glass floor while carrying the plough. How he shouted “Save it!” You might also have noticed that the wall in the downstairs area he fell into was covered in stars, confirming that there is indeed a star theme present. And ultimately, you might have noticed how a member of (the extended) TF had a close encounter with death but was saved at the last minute, much like we believe Beth was lost in a walker-related incident.

Later, when they were on their way home, they ran into unexpected difficultiesbecause a bridge had collapsed. I recommend reading up on the”Bridge” theme, here’s @twdmusicboxmystery’s master post on bridges:

http://twdmusicboxmystery.tumblr.com/post/175470337254/bridge-theory-master-post

They then encountered a horde, and lost one of their own, not by the walker bite, but rather from the kick from the horse that likely caused internal bleeding. If you’ve read part six of my Mary Magdalene theory you’ll remember how both feet and horses represent “The Body Of Christ”. Shoes are also a part of the “feet/foot” symbolism, and TPTB gave Ken a horseshoe mark on the chest and made sure it was in focus for several seconds, suggesting it has some symbolic meaning. I believe that the horseshoe mark on Ken was put there to remind us of that “The Body Of Christ” symbolism is still in play. This was further confirmed in that all of this took place next to a wagon and a plough.

And what do you know! The plough, (that represents the Big Dipper) got left behind!

I repeat; the plough, which is a different name for the Big Dipper, fell out of the wagon and got left behind! The plough represents the Big Dipper, which is how you identify the North Star. The wagon also actually represents the Big Dipper, as “Karlsvogna/Carl’s wagon” is also a different name for the Big Dipper. And a wagon is naturally symbolic of car/tomb. And I repeat, because this is important, the plough fell out of the wagon and got left behind!!!

(Judging by Maggie and Michonne’s dialogue in 9x2 they later retrieved the plough, but initially it was left behind)

So to summarize; saving the plough was of utmost importance. Ezekiel almost died for it! “The Plough” is a different name for the Big Dipper, and the Big Dipper is important because that’s how you actually locate the North Star on the night sky. The sole purpose of the Alaska license plate from 5x16 was to show how you find the North Star. And the North Star represents finding your way home! Beth finding her way home! Just like Carl explained to Judith in 6x10, and also remember how the writing on the wall in the Kingdom in 7x2 “The Well” encourages us to follow the North Star, to let it guide us, and to keep hope alive!

And now that we’ve established the importance of following North Star, I’d like to remind everyone of Ana’s severed leg in 4x4. She very obviously had a compass tattoo on her leg, TPTB was very diligent in making sure nobody missed that. They zoomed in on her tattoo multiple times, and we were to be very aware of her compass tattoo. Compasses point north.

Then, let me also remind everyone on the foot symbolism from the White Trash Brunch, how the pigs feet on the table established foot/feet as a Beth symbol, representing “The Body Of Christ”. Ana’s leg from 4x4 represents “the Body Of Christ”.

Then, we need to remember how Daryl drew attention to both the pigs feet and the Frosty Cola. All things frosty, freezing, cold, cool, coolers, coolants, polar bears represents something cold, and what could be colder than the actual north? This point is further emphasized in 4x13 “Alone”, when Sasha carries around a broken compass. Obviously this particular compass doesn’t point north because it’s broken, but Sasha stares at it, the camera focuses on it, and the next thing that happens is that we see Maggie “waking up” right next to an ice cream truck. It’s such a random sequence, it makes you think “how do they come up with this stuff”, but really, if you consider the symbolism of it all, it makes quite a lot of sense. They draw attention to the compass, it’s broken. It doesn’t point north. But then we immediately see an ice cream truck (ice cream? Cold. Represents north), and whatever the broken compass was missing in cold/north symbolism, the ice cream truck has plenty of it. And Maggie, who inexplicably decided it was a good idea to lay down to rest on the ground among the dead walkers, suddenly “comes to life”! She wakes up from the dead! North = coming back to life, find your way home after having been lost.

Now, consider again the compass on Ana’s leg. Compasses point north, always, without exception, much like the North Star always points north, always, without exception. The Frosty Cola from the White Trash Brunch represents “The Blood Of Christ”, which in turn makes Ana’s leg a combination of two major Beth symbols: the Body Of Christ and the Blood Of Christ. Feet symbolism and North symbolism in one.

And here’s the amazing part: there has actually been another incident on the show where TPTB utilizes the exact same symbolism!

Remember Boots? The mysterious figure that followed Rick and Aaron back to ASZ after their struggles to get to the food on the house boat on the walker-infested lake? Before I say anything else I want to really stress the fact that Boots followed the guys home! Boot = foot/feet symbolism, which means the Body Of Christ, which in turn represents Beth. We now know that Boots in reality was Tamiel, Jadis’ right hand, but for a while we only knew that character as “Boots”.

“Boots” had red and green wires wrapped around her ankle, and that is no accident. It is a direct callback to 4x4 “Indifference”, where Daryl explains to Bob how you start up a car. “Just use the red and green wires, it’s not rocket science”. Remember car represents the tomb of Christ as I explained in part six.

And of course, the image of “Boots” with the red and green wires around the leg is a perfect parallel to Ana’s leg with the compass tattoo. Because here’s the big thing: when TPTB chose to put such heavy emphasis on the compass, you could say that they in reality were focusing on the compass rose.

That means we can officially introduce rose symbolism into this mess, because behold! On Tamiel’s boot, what do we find, if not a compass rose!!! I believe that the Star thing on Tamiel’s boot is a compass rose! And Tamiel’s boot with the compass rose perfectly parallels Ana’s leg with the compass tattoo, and now I’d like to remind everyone that compasses point North, and following the North Star is how you find your way home, and the wonderful thing is that the compass rose on Tamiel’s boot followed Rick and Aaron home to ASZ!

And we know that’s not a coincidence, because later when Tamiel kidnapped Father Gabriel we got a shot of the back of the car driving away that was an exact parallel to when Beth were kidnapped by the Grady cops.

The compass rose on Tamiel’s boot is interesting, because we’ve actually seen it before. In 6x14 “Twice As Far”, we see a 16-pointed star on the wall in Edison’s Apothecary, where Denise, Daryl and Rosita are searching for antibiotics.

First of all, they were searching for antibiotics, it’s an exact parallel to 4x4 “Indifference”. Then Denise finds a keychain that she holds on to, the camera focuses on it quite a bit, much like in 4x4 when Bob finds a key with a screwdriver keychain. The camera focuses on it, makes us notice it. Then, as they are on their way home, Denise spots a blue cooler in a car. We know by now that coolers represents North/North Star/finding your way home/the “Blood Of Christ”. We also know that cars represents “The Tomb of Christ”.

Denise struggles to get to the cooler, she has to fight for her life to get to it, but she eventually kills the walker in the car, and is awarded with the exact can of soda she was searching for. Remember how Beth in the deleted scene from “Still” mentioned soda cans in the same sentence as the red party cups that represents resurrection. Denise overcoming her struggles and killing the walker in the car (tomb) represents Beth actually getting out of the car/tomb post-Coda. The fact that Denise later dies doesn’t change that, because that happens after she’s won over the walker. She escaped. Then something happened later, but she got herself out of the car situation. She got to the cooler, and got the can of soda. She lived.

But let’s return to the rose/star decoration on the wall, let’s return to the star on Tamiel’s boot. Remember how I in part one described how Abraham found a box of cigars in 6x6 “Always Accountable”. Remember how Tamiel put out a cigar in 7x16, while crouching behind some cars, the camera focusing on the star/rose on her boot, the star that I believe represents a compass rose. It’s a Body Of Christ/ Blood Of Christ symbolism combination, the boot representing the Body Of Christ, the compass rose represents the Blood of Christ through the cooler/coolant/Frosty Cola/North Star symbolism. And then the weird guy with the red umbrella walks by, the red umbrella representing Mary Magdalene and resurrection. It’s the same umbrella the Heapsters utilize to prevent the gates from opening, in an anti parallel to Ana’s leg keeping the gates from closing in 4x4. When TPTB chose to have Ana’s leg keeping the gate open, I think that’s symbolic of rolling away the stone that kept the tomb closed. It’s TPTB’s way of facilitating a hypothetical resurrection.

Now seems like a great time to talk about roses and rose symbolism. Of course when speaking of roses on TWD, one has got to mention the Cherokee Rose. We all remember the beautiful scene with Daryl and Carol, Daryl’s touching monologue about the Cherokee Rose legend. Daryl said that the rose was there to provide hope and strength, hope of finding missing loved ones, hope of finding Sophia. I find the “hope” part interesting because of the writing on the wall in the Kingdom.

Also, there’s the incident where Daryl spots a Cherokee Rose in 6x6 “Always Accountable”. He initially tried to escape from Dwight and the girls, however after realizing that he’d run off with Tina’s insulin he decides to return. The insulin container comes with specific instructions to keep it cold, which makes it a part of the cold/cool/frosty/ice cream/North/North Star symbolism. I also believe that the insulin is a pretty solid “Blood Of Christ” reference, as insulin is injectied in order to regulate blood sugar. Tina, who was basically unconscious at that point, “woke up”.

I believe that the North Star symbolism and the rose symbolism is one and the same. Remember Ana’s leg, with the compass (rose) tattoo. The markings on a compass, a map, a nautical chart etc. that indicates the cardinal directions as well as their intermediate points is called a compass rose. A compass rose usually have 4, 8, 16 or 32 points.

Remember how I initially mentioned that the TWD follows a template of The Da Vinci Code, rather than the Bible? In TDVC, Robert Langdon follows the Rose Line through Paris in order to locate the secret tomb of Mary Magdalene? In a TWD parallel to that, Daryl sees the Cherokee Rose, then decides to follow the rose and return the insulin to Tina. She was unconscious, but thanks to Daryl following “The Rose Line”, she gets the insulin and subsequently wakes up. The symbolism in that is significant. It’s a combination of the rose symbolism and the cold/frosty/North Star symbolism leading to a “resurrection” of sorts.

This is also the same episode where Abraham finds the box of cigars named “Dona Maria”, which is decorated with pink roses. That’s significant both because of the Cherokee Rose/North Star symbolism, but also because Tamiel later will come to act out a callback to this scene by putting out the cigar while the camera focuses on her boot with the compass rose. And for anyone who thinks the symbolism of putting out a cigar sounds scary and ominous, remember that the weird guy with the red umbrella walked by seconds later. Red represents resurrection. Red umbrella represents Mary Magdalene, who in Eastern Orthodox iconography often were depicted holding red Easter egg, representing the resurrection of Christ! To have Tamiel put out the cigar (while the camera focuses on the compass rose on her boot), and then have the red umbrella appear seconds later sort of parallels the Suicide Gang scene from 4x4. Just as the act of suicide is canceled out by the red cups they were drinking out of, Tamiel’s act of “putting out the light” is canceled out by the red umbrella that represents resurrection. And the “Antifreeze” from 4x4 without the “Anti” represents freeze/frosty/ice cream/North Star, just like the compass rose on Tamiel’s boot represents north/North Star.

Finally, let me say a few words on alcohol in general, and beer in particular on TWD. Much has been said about how alcohol represents Beth. I agree with all the existing theories on that, and I’d like to offer my interpretation of alcohol as a symbol. I’ll later do a theory on the Sirius/Dog Star symbolism and how whenever they use the word “Serious” on this show, it is code for Sirius. I know it sounds absolutely ludicrous, but I’ve systematically gone through all the the episodes after 4x1 and out and checked. There is not one single instance of anyone using the word “serious” on TWD post season 4 that cannot be tied to some sort of Beth symbolism. I dare you to find an example, I promise you that it will be tied to Beth. I’ve checked. But I won’t get into that too much here, because it belongs in a different theory, and I’ll get back to it later. But one very bright anonymous reader of @twdmusicboxmystery suggested that just like the writers use “serious” as code for “Sirius”, perhaps they use “beer” for “bear”?

!!!!!!

And I thought THAT’S BRILLIANT WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?

And I went through every “bear” reference on the show (well, most of them), and it totally fits! As we know, “bear” represents the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, or in bear terms; Greater Bear and Lesser Bear. And the North Star, as we know, is at the end of the Little Dipper/Lesser Bear.

Thank you to that very clever anon!

http://twdmusicboxmystery.tumblr.com/post/177659080279/im-thinking-beer-maybe-was-a-hint-that-actually

The beautiful part is that this connection was flat out CONFIRMED in the season 4 finale of Fear. Spoiler alert, I’ll now totally reveal what happened in the Fear season finale, stop reading if you don’t want to know.

First of all, the entire back half revolves around a character we don’t see much of, but in return we hear about him constantly; Polar Bear! I swear I’m not making this up. So in regards to Beth, we remember how she stared at a polar bear blanket in 5x10 “WHAWGO”. We’ve established that all things cold/frosty/freezing/Polaris polar bear/North Star on the show represents Beth. So, here, on Fear, is a character whose name is Polar Bear. Ok.

In an incredible parallel to the Antifreeze Suicide Gang from 4x4 “Indifference”, the “Team Family” of Fear were poisoned by Martha, the villain, who had put antifreeze in their drinking water. The antidote to antifreeze is ethanol, or to put it plainly; alcohol.

Luckily there was a truck filled with alcohol just outside the service station(!), so it seemed like they’d make it. But then walkers attacked, shooting ensued and unfortunately the ethanol truck got perforated with bullets and the ethanol leaked out.

Well that was all very unfortunate, but just when they seemed to be doomed, Morgan showed up with Jimbo’s beer truck! And there you have it. Antifreeze is poison, but without the “anti” it’s just freeze! Frosty! Ice cream! Coolers! Polar bear! North! North Star! Antifreeze is death, but if you take away the “anti” you get “freeze” which is life. It’s both stupid and wonderful all at once!

Get it? They drank beer, in Polar Bear’s service station. It saved their lives!!!

And we see that the ethanol theme continues in s9 of TWD. Apparently it is the Sancuary’s responsibility to provide ethanol fuel for the wehicles in all the communities, and it will be very interesting to follow that theme going forward.

[art-ofprydain]

Excerpt from: "The Black Cauldron: Disney steps back into darkness with a robust Sword & Sorcery tale" - Dan Scapperotti from "Cinefantastique" Vol. 13 No. 5 pg. 26-27 1983

https://www.dvdizzy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=23758

“Joe Hale gives a quick run through of the plot: the cauldron of the title is in the possession of the evil Horned King who immerses his dead enemies in it. Later, they emerge as the invincible, soulless Cauldron Born Warriors. With his army of the dead, the Horned King plans to conquer the peaceful land of Pyrdain. The wicked wizard, however, must perform a human sacrifice before each full moon in order to maintain the life of his army and the cauldron.

The Horned King captures Dallben, a wise and good enchanter, as his next victim, and Taran, the enchanter's assistant, sets out to rescue him. Taran is then seized by the evil King and taken back to his castle. Upon their arrival, however, the Horned King discovers that the cauldron has vanished; Taran realizes that if he can find and destroy the cauldron, he can save Pyrdain. Through the aid of Eilonwy, a young princess and enchantress in her own right, Taran escapes and begins his search for the lost cauldron.

On his mission, Taran meets an array of unusual and offbeat characters: Flewddur Fflam, a king who would prefer traveling the countryside, strumming a tune; Doli, an elfin character, who manages to harness the power of invisibility; and Gurgi, part man, part animal, who desires "crunchings and munchings," but fears "smackings and whackings on my poor tender head."

Another strange creature is Hen Wen, an oracular pig who tells Taran that the cauldron is in the clutches of three witches. Taran searches for and eventually finds the hags, who trade the cauldron for Taran's sword, his most prized possession. The Horned King learns of the cauldron's new location, and taking the captive Dallben along, leads his ghoulish army into attack against Taran and his band.

Alterations had to be made in adapting the large scale epic of the Chronicles to the screen. Much of Disney's BLACK CAULDRON is based on the introductory novel, The Book of Three, but several of the movie's sequences are lifted from the second book. Also, The Horned King becomes the chief villain of the film, although he doesn't even survive the first of five books.

Joe Hale, who previously directed animation special effects on Disney's science fiction epic, THE BLACK HOLE, wants to make THE BLACK CAULDRON something truly spectacular, and began looking into the possibilities of using holography.

"We're talking to designers over at WED, who design rides at Disneyland and Disney World," Hale said. "Now that they're winding up at EPCOT, we're going to have them work on an effect for the next to the last sequence. We want an effect where the Cauldron-Born Warriors float right out over the audience and into the back of the theater. Our engineers already have the capability to use holograms better than anybody around. Right now, they can give us a hologram of a cauldron in the theater lobby with an endless stream of Cauldron Born coming out and going right up to the top of the theater. There is a lot of experimental work being done on this. WED is sending over a creative team to see what they can do for us. We're going to have some kind of spectacular effect, something out of the oridinary.

Voices being used for the characters include Freddie Jones (Dallben), Grant Bardsley (Taran), Susan Sheridan (Eilonwy), Nigel Hawthorne (Flewdur), John Hurt (Horned King), John Byner (Gurgi), Jonathan Winters (King Eidellig) and Phil Fondacar (Creeper, the dwarf). An agent in England sent the studio tapes of dozens of voices from which to select the characters. It turned out that the voice chosen for Taran belonged to a 14 year old and that for Princess Eilonwy came from a 34-year-old actress, yet the two characters in the film are the same age”.

the Horned King kiddnaping Dalben?  good thing that wasn't used for the final film.

hmmmmmm    ok similar scene to that of a scene in the first Prydain book  when Prince Gwydion and Taran were captured by Queen Achren

Edit: My mistake of posting this Mel Shaw artwork in this post. The reason? it doesn’t match the discription of the deleted subplot of the film. 

I thought the man stand right next to Taran is Dalben. as of last year and earlier this year more of Mel Shaw’s art has been recently  been posted.  I looked at them. well, now I know who that is next to Taran,  the bard Fflewddur Fflam