#also featuring my favorite: talking about how much abuse affects kids growing up and all the way trauma follows you into adulthood

[rxttenfish]

i understand why OP turned reblogs off but yeah. yeah thats just entirely it isn't it.

[recurring-polynya]

Your thoughts and headcannons on Nemuri Hachigou because I don't think she gets talked about enough, when in reality she's pretty interesting, she's essentially, a blank slate, Mayuri's second chance that I don't think he feels like he deserves. She's Nemu but she isn't and I think people(especially Mayuri) forget that a lot, that's a fascinating position to be in.

Puttin’ this under a cut because I’m gonna say some unkind things about Mayuri and I do not want to cause any distress to the many lovely people on this website who delight in his horrible antics.

This is not so much a headcanon so much as a thing I came up with for fanfiction purposes, but it’s all I got.

Right. So, like I said, I despise Mayuri. I just hate him. I understand that he appeals to some people, but I strongly dislike the dude and go to exorbitant lengths to avoid him ever appearing in my fanfic.

Additionally, I do not vibe with Nemu 7. She registers as not-a-person for me, she’s basically an extension of Mayuri himself. Don’t get me wrong, I find Mayuri’s treatment of her to be vile and I wish someone would take her away from him, but she comes off as very robotic to me. She is conscious, but she is not an independent being, if that makes sense. She is not a real girl. It’s funny that Mayuri keeps talking about how advanced she is, because clearly he means only her cognitive and fighting abilities. In terms of recreating a person, she’s incredibly primitive compared to the other mod souls we see. Take Kon, for example, who has a fairly limited powerset, but is never presented as less of a soul than any of the other characters. An even more interesting example is Ururu and Jinta. Ururu is described as being older than Jinta, and she is clearly “less human” than him-- she has less affect, she shifts into a distinct “attack” mode, etc, which implies that Jinta represents advances in mod soul technology. It’s notable that Urahara and Tessai and even Renji, in the canon scene where he protects the Shouten kids, never treats them as anything less than people. The contrast with the way Mayuri treats Nemu is stark. He likes that her feelings and personality are limited, he sees this as a feature.

I was completely unmoved by the entire chapter where Nemu died. Her sacrifice did not come across to me as anything indicating growth or humanity-- in every battle she's ever been in, she nearly dies because Kurotsuchi tells her to. She simply prioritizes Mayuri over herself. She always has. It’s simply the logical extension of her programming. A lot of people say they would have preferred Nemu to live and Mayuri to die and for sure I would have *preferred* that, but I have never seen Nemu as enough of a character to be worth rooting for. Like, at least Uryuu would have gotten some satisfaction form killing his clown ass, and that might have convinced me for at least half a second that he actually was on the side of the Quincy.

Caveat: if some talented fanficcer wants to write a short novel on Nemu discovering her humanity etc etc, I’m all for it, I’m just saying that canon hasn’t given us anything to suggest she would do more than just shut down without Mayuri to tell her what to do.

Onto Nemuri 8. I can’t believe they let Mayuri have another one. It makes my blood boil. The dude is an on-screen abuser and Kubo had the gall to try to make me feel sorry feel him (I did not) and then gave him another one.

So, I took her away from him.

I mentioned earlier that I go to great lengths to keep Mayuri the hell out of my fanfic, and usually the way I do that is to have my characters go through Akon whenever they have to deal with Squad 12. I think I started doing this because Akon is sort of weirdly familiar with Renji and Rukia in the TYBW, but I have projected all over him and he’s mine now. The way I assume Squad 12 functions, based on my career in scientific programming, is that Mayuri is like a primary investigator-- he's the Big Ideas guy and he spends a lot of time doing wholly self-directed research. He’s the face of Squad 12, so he has to go talk to the Captain-Commander and beg for money and defend blowing things up, but when it comes to science stuff, he does what he wants. Nemu is the lieutenant, and I think she handles most of the usual lieutenanting-- paperwork, meetings, etc., but I think Mayuri takes up a lot of her time by using her as a personal lab assistant on his wacky projects. There's nothing wrong with this, but I think in a lot of squads, the lieutenant is responsible for the day-to-day running of the squad and spends a lot of time dealing with their subordinates and other lieutenants. Nemu, instead, focuses on her captain. Now, the rest of the Gotei counts on Squad 12 for a lot actually-- gigai, Hollow tracking, Dangai monitoring, etc. etc. From the point of view of most science people, this stuff is mundane-- it’s all application, not development, and all the difficulty is in the twitchy little details. It’s frustrating and it’s unrewarding and you never get credit for it, and it is vitally important. There is a certain kind of science professional that makes a career out of this. They usually have master's degrees instead of PhDs, and they are usually tragically underpaid and underappreciated for what they do. In the real world, without these people, you wouldn’t have mass vaccination sites or weather data on your phone or cute li’l robots landing on other planets. In Bleach, these are the people keeping soul reapers alive in the field. And in my mind, this is Akon’s department.

So here’s the headcanon:

After Nemu’s death, Mayuri has so much sad clown pain about it that he wants another robot child poste-haste, but can’t bring himself to do the actual work, so he shoves it off onto Akon, with a list of the design specs he wants. The last one was pretty good, Akon can handle a few minor upgrades, it doesn’t need his personal hand in it. Thinking about going through all that work again just pisses him off, honestly. What a waste!

And Akon's like, yeah, cool, fine. It was heavily implied that he did a lot of the work on Nemu 7, it's just a matter of digging out his old notes and cleaning out some vats.

Except that, right around the same time, Rukia and Renji decide to have a baby.

Babies are super rare in the Gotei, and it’s not like those stuffy nobles are gonna let Akon look at their precious offspring. But Rukia is a rank weirdo, and Akon is their pal, so she’s always like “I hear they have these things in the Living World where you can pee on a stick and tell if you’re pregnant, can you make me one?” and Akon’s brain goes, “Wow, what even is the first detectable sign of a newly formed soul, this is very interesting.” So, at the same time he’s trying to grow a new and improved Nemu, he’s got access to the developing fetus of two captain-class shinigami. So when he has to pick between eight good candidate embryos to move to the next vat, he picks… not the one with the strongest reiatsu signature, like they did last time, but the one whose reiatsu looks the most like a real baby.

Akon reminds me of a lot of programmers I know, so I always sort of headcanon him as particularly interested in whatever passes for programming in Squad 12, and I think he takes special interest in revamping Nemu’s artificial intelligence system, which is primarily based on taking in information about the world and building up a realistic personality based on people she observes. In particular, it gives extra weight to “people who resemble her”. Nemu 7 was raised by Squad 12, so she came up very Squad 12, just like Mayuri wanted. Unfortunately, toddler Hachigou Nemuri’s algorithm unexpectedly decides that she has much more in common with toddler Abarai Ichika than any of the adult soul reapers around her.

Nemuri 8 is a very successful sample in terms of power and intelligence but she’s also very boisterous, and the rest of Squad 12 is like “Akon do something” so Akon takes drastic measures: he asks Renji for parenting advice. Distressingly, Renji is full of useful ideas like “tire her out” and “only fight the important battles” and “we’re signed up for baby yoga, you wanna start comin’ to baby yoga? Your back is gonna thank you.”

Akon didn't mean to let them hang out so much, but Ichika is a very useful data point and also if he takes Nemuri over to the Abarai house, the girls will entertain themselves (i.e. chew on each other) long enough for him to have a beer with Renji and Rukia and honestly my man really needs that beer.

I don’t think Akon thinks of himself as Nemu’s dad past the first time when she calls him ‘Daddy’ and he corrects her (she only did it because that’s what Ichika calls Renji, very predictable quirk of her programming). She’s just a work project. She’s not even his project, she’s Mayuri’s project, he’s just handling the little details. Fathering just happens to be an adjacent field of study that he’s found to contain a number of very useful best practices.

I would prefer not to get into the detail of the physical abuse that Mayuri uses against Nemu 7, but I would like to think that Akon finds ways to protect Nemuri 8 from the same, or barring that, maybe this is what finally drives Akon to murder Kurotsuchi and become Squad 12 captain himself.

Other Nemuri Headcanons:

Her favorite book is Rejection of the Twin Fishes!, Captain Ukitake’s posthumously published children’s book.

She prefers to be called “Nemuri” over “Nemu.”

Nemuri’s second favorite person in Squad 12 after Akon is Rin, because he always has candy. Rin actually likes having someone to share his hobby with and helps her make a World of the Living Snack Bucket List. When other shinigami come in for gigai, Nemuri constantly tries to con them into bringing something back for her.

Rukia teaches her to cuss, but tells her never to do it around Akon. Nemuri never actually cusses around anyone, but really enjoys having Forbidden Knowledge.

Speaking of Forbidden, she is mildly obsessed with Urahara, even though she’s never met him. She’s constantly on the lookout for thumbprints of his work in modern Squad 12 technology.

The one thing she does have in common with Mayuri is an absolutely batshit personal aesthetic. She starts painting her face as a tween and is somewhat inconveniently both into piercings and inflatable outfits.

The true proof that she has surpassed her predecessor, at least in terms of humanity, is that she is able to learn the name of her zanpakutou.

Oh, if you want to read any of my fanfics with Nemuri, here's one where she and Ichika play football and here's one where she tries to con Byakuya into buying her shaved ice. I really like writing Nemuri hanging out with Byakuya because I think an adult man who navigates social settings via rigid system of etiquette and class hierarchy and a small child with a pile of Markov chains for a brain would be natural friends.

[purplezebraproductions]

I know this was your question first, but it was such a good one! So, I have to ask, for the underwing challenge, what are the inspirations for your writing (on a WIP of your choosing, or in general)?

Sorry about getting back to this so late! Work has been keeping me working for lack of a better term.

But to get to the question, a lot of my earliest inspirations for my work came from tv shows. As much as I read when I was a kid (the library was always one of my favorite places) a lot of what I felt drive me were cartoons, tv shows, movies, or anime I would watch.

It started out with simple cartoons and movies. I wouldn’t say I was a huge Disney fan growing up, but I was always incessantly interested in anything having to do with animation. Something about how whimsical one could be with the characters, the settings, and the stories you could tell through it always affected me in a way much different to live television.

However, I never wanted to be on TV, I always wanted to write for TV. I wanted to create shows and characters and just moments in time that people could gravitate towards. But, my biggest roadblock was that a lot of what I wanted to write about wasn’t really being featured on TV. This was a time before ATLA became a huge sensation in the West, so a lot of cartoons I watched didn’t have a common thematic or overarching story to them. Not to say they were bad, I still go back and watch Spongebob, Hey Arnold, or Kim Possible on my off-days, but they weren’t the story I wanted to tell.

My first introduction to anime was funnily enough Sailor Moon....and Death Note. (I often make the joke that my personality can be surmised by the fact that my two favorite anime genres are Magical Girl and Horror, lol.) As cringeworthy as it may seem to some people now, anime really did open my eyes to a different type of story-telling that had overarching themes and plotlines, and after ATLAs rise in the West I kind of realized that that kind of formula can really work for TV in an animated setting.

After that I started really focusing on what kind of stories I wanted to tell. I found most of my inspiration came from taboo subjects. Things people just did not want to talk about or acknowledge (at least in the area that I grew up in). As morbid as it seems part of that inspiration might’ve come from a book series (that I don’t know why I was allowed to read as a kid) named A Boy Called It.

It was a heartbreaking autobiographical set of novels written by a man who endured horrible abuse and neglect as a child at the hands of his family (mainly his mother).

That book made me interested in talking to children who’ve been neglected or abused, growing up I even considered it being a big part of the audience I wanted to reach out to. Not just in the form of a story to read, but also in the form of actual help like charity, volunteering, etc.

Starting on the foot of researching neglect and abuse led me into a whole host of topics that were considered too graphic and/or were often only worked into stories for shock value. A part of me wanted to see where these taboo themes in stories could take me.

That’s not to say all of my stories are horror themed or that uncomfortable topics are their main focus, but I think you can definitely see a lot of those running themes throughout.

I could talk about so much more, but I’m rambling at this point.

I suppose one of my main inspirations for writing is also just trying to get a grasp of things I don’t understand, that’s probably why I have a lot of romance in my stories.

[opalgelance]

thoughts on steven universe future

td;lr overall opinion: steven universe future is better than most of the original steven universe, especially seasons 3-5, but there are still some real iffy plotlines in future

i hate that the diamonds were redeemed but at the same time, the happy clouds blue and yellow putting gems back together scenes were so pure

it simultaneously warms my heart and infuriates me 

but we finally got a blue diamond song, god i love her voice

EDIT: also steven basically tortured white diamond and nearly killed her and it was pretty disturbing bc steven is 1. in a really bad mental state, like way darker than i thought they’d show him go, since this is technically a kids show and 2. was also kind of trying to hurt himself, which both hit me really hard bc i had similar periods of blazing anger, wanting to self harm and harm others that i felt had wronged me when i was a teenager, but its also what white deserves

ncsndlljklkcndkls i want to enjoy this show so bad but,,, steven having ptsd makes him a violent douche??? diamonds killed who knows how many gems in their reign and never really felt bad about it in original su but now they’re supportive life coaches??? no thank you

on more positive notes, i loved how priyanka described mental health and how she treated steven throughout the entire check up, she was so nonconfrontational and whenever he felt stressed she deescalated the situation,,, it was so good

the animation is the best its been since season 2. the poses are clean, very well drawn, and on model. there are more action scenes than like 90% of steven universe and they’re animated way better, like theres actual fighting and motion asjksacbcbj no one is stiffly posed, no one has strange proportions, no one is drastically changing sizes in between shots (well besides steven in growing pains onward but when he does change size its supposed to be like that lol)

i liked seeing the real roses but didnt love it? i wish we saw more of the roses designs up close, and i wish they fit a little more with the other quartzes? it might be just because its era 3, but the roses were all way more unique than jaspers and amethysts generally seem to be. i like that they were more unique designs and had different personalities, but surely the diamonds wouldnt have tolerated that back in era 1 or even era 2, had the rose quartzes not been bubbled? also i get that they’re reminiscent of pink bc she created them, but hippie and superfan were so naive, more so than other quartzes. if each quartz group was slightly different, it would make a little more sense tbh like if quartzes were the entire gem army, but each group was slightly different. i always liked the idea that rose quartzes were either the defense or the healers of the gem army.

little homeschool and guidance were fun and genuinely enjoyable, considering not a whole ton happens in them. i wish townie episodes had been more like them. like you could replace the gems with random humans, but it would still be a fun episode? idk, maybe involving the humans in gem stuff wouldve made better townie episodes, like lars and the cool kids. it wouldve probably helped steven feel more “human” too, if the human and gem worlds collided a bit more in the series.

bluebird was... an ok episode, but im not sure how well it will fit into what i feel like the end will be, where every episode of future featured someone steven helped or affected in some way, and they all come together to help steven when he corrupts. or rather, i guess if bluebird did say something, it would feel more hollow bc steven didnt help them lol the gems and universes were just friendly to them, and thats it. it wasnt as bad as a very special episode (my least favorite episode of future), but it felt like a townie episode with no townies LOL at least we got a new fusion i guess

a very special episode was just,,, infuriating. there was that weird football scene where they just like,,, talk about screen resolution for a minute then play the full commercial for little homeworld we just saw last episode???? i did genuinely enjoy the rainbow scenes, but it just built up to not nothing. oh no, it was something alright. the whole episode was just future vision and then theres like a minute long psa??? it felt like that wacky randomness that would have happened in like, ok ko, teen titans go, or clarence jaskjcbkcjbskb

mr universe is tied with dear old dad episode as my least favorite greg episode. i get how both of them feel. greg wanted to tell steven about how he escaped from his miserable childhood and remade who he was, no longer a demayo but a universe. the problem imo was that greg became way too absorbed in the past. it reminds me a bit of s1 pearl, how she’d proudly recount gem battles and basked in the glory of fighting for their freedom, but she struggled when she had to recount the more unsavory parts of war. and that really affected amethyst, since she didnt fight in the glorified war pearl told her and steven about. amethyst was the byproduct of one of the bad parts of the war, and that became part of her identity, until on the run, where pearl finally realized that she needed to tell amethyst that she wasnt bad. amethyst’s creation may have fractionally hurt the earth, but that wasnt her fault. it wasnt her fault that she emerged too late to fight either. and it wasnt her fault that she existed. sounds familiar to to stevens rant in the van. 

steven didnt ask to be made. he didnt ask to be the half gem half human son of a diamond. but he grew up being told about how great his mom was, and that while no one would ever say it, she was gone because of him. to create steven, rose had to die. it was roses decision, but as the product of that decision, steven feels responsible. not only that, but being told constantly about his amazing mother, steven felt like he had to live up to her, had to be like her, had to replace her in the gems and greg’s lives. throughout the series, steven is constantly either trying to be like his mother, until he realizes its ok to be himself. but then the question is posed; is steven even himself? or is he still part of rose? and once he finds out that he’s steven, and has always been steven, he’s still reeling from the realization that his mother was pink diamond. and that really shows in future, where steven is becoming like pink. at first he doesnt even know, because besides the jungle moon dream, him and the audience never knew about this side of pink. this angry, short tempered, diamond who lashes out mostly physically. and unlike before, no one’s telling steven about pink (besides pink pearl) hes finding out firsthand, and this pink mode is basically being forced on him by his gem. steven has little to no control over this form. hes not trying to live up to his mother, or wondering if he is her, like before. now, he’s losing control to whatever programming is in his gem.

but back to mr universe. in the van, greg is going on and on about how lucky steven is, and how free steven is, but how can either of them compare their lives to each other? the similarities just arent there. steven is right, greg and pink were “raised” in very similar “households”. both had their wishes and desires suppressed by controlling, abusive parents. we know pink was abused mentally, verbally and physically (being physically dragged away from the screen by yellow in jungle moon, stevonnie being grabbed and thrown into the time out cell by yellow, when she still thought steven was pink), but greg at the very least was mentally assaulted. but they diverge from here. as greg said, he thought disco was back. rose started a war. you cant compare them any further. 

but at the same time, steven was raised completely differently. he was raised in a home with love and freedom, but he was also not given the opportunity to be a normal kid. theres a difference being forcing your kid to do something and not giving them the chance to try something. steven was never given the option to go to school (well in the comics he was but i guess thats not canon now since it seems like steven wishes he went to school?) he was never given the option to live in a house, or go to the mall with friends. the only other kids he knew were the boardwalk kids, but even then, he doesnt seem very close with them. for such an outgoing, friendly kid, steven wasnt given many opportunities to make friends. steven’s upbringing was very relaxed, yes, but it was too relaxed. he needed more structure, and more importantly, more humanity. i always thought it was weird, how little steven seems to have interacted with humans before connie, considering that his mother so desperately wanted steven to experience being human. yes the show is about gems, (and yes, i dont like most townie episodes), but steven was never shown doing a lot of “human” kid things inbetween episodes. the episode never started with him coming home from a friends house, he hardly ever spent time with friends other than connie in little scenes. like he was never called for a mission while playing cards with peedee, or coming home after an after school activity. any scenes like that were either just steven by himself, or with greg, and occasionally connie. but connie is a new addition to his life. how many years has he been doing fun stuff with only his dad for company, or by himself? yknow, “non traditional” childhoods and living situations are becoming more and more common in media, rather than the “two parents in a suburb house” thing, but steven’s life is beyond any unusual childhood any other kid would have. i mean he’s never even been to the doctor! which is probably for several reasons, like the fact that he apparently doesnt have a ssn, he can heal himself, has a damn gemstone in his stomach, and is half alien. but still, thats not something he has in common with other kids. no matter how much love and freedom he was given, steven was raised as an outcast.

i agree with the notion that both greg and steven were both right and wrong in mr universe. i guess they both have that in common with rose lol 

greg should have read the room better, realized that his pep talk wasnt the support and apology steven needed to hear. but steven shouldnt have acted out in the way he did. i get that’s the “theme” of steven’s spiral, maybe for the younger audience to better understand how steven is acting? but crashing his dad’s van that gregs been living in for like 20 years? fucking SHATTERING jasper? that’s going way too far to prove a point. it would have been better to maybe mirror story for steven, where marty and greg are arguing, marty is watching the road and they narrowly avoid hitting a car. but crashing the car could have been pretty serious, especially for greg. now jasper, that episode shouldnt have been approved. steven should not have shattered jasper. he fucking killed her. rose/pink didnt even shatter anyone. and if it wasnt for steven getting another superpower out of nowhere, jasper would have stayed that way. he should have just cracked her gem, poofing her in the process. the rest of the episode wouldve played out exactly the same.

anyways ive been writing this for like 2 hours but i feel better letting it all out. if you enjoy future keep enjoying it! it’s definitely more like a B+ compared to season 3-5′s general C-/D+. but please take into consideration future has some themes that people personally relate to, like mental health, and that you shouldnt shit on someone elses opinions that are based on their own personal experiences. especially if you dont have mental health issues, dont keep pushing your opinion and telling people that personally relate to future’s themes that they’re wrong? thats fucked up man

[ihavetoomanyinterestsplshelp]

Basketcase- Part 1

(Idk if basketcase is offense to use... but this is a story I’m working on that’s HEAVILY inspired by real life stuff. It’s kinda dark and sad, but also super hopeful) 

So I’m laying next to her, my hands itch to touch her, to stroke the soft skin and silky hair the colour of sun-kissed wheat. Her eyes and closed, and her breathing is deep and relaxed. My hands clench into fists to keep from touching her, but it is a fight within myself. I stare at her sleeping form and my breath is taken from my lungs. How the hell can one person be this beautiful? It’s so unfair I could cry. I am, of course, acutely aware of the fact that my affections are not and will never be returned. But that does not keep my mind from wandering to thoughts, soft and gentle thoughts that quiet the usual turmoil inside me. //”Hi honey, I’m home from work.” She looks exhausted and I limp over to her to place a kiss on her cheek. “How was it?” I ask, brushing her long golden hair from her face and staring lovingly into those pools of deep grey-blue, “Did anything interesting happen?” She smiles at me and kisses me on the lips, “No, not a thing. But work was good.” She holds my hands in hers and all is right with the world. “I love you.” // I am snapped back to reality as she shifts in her sleep and makes a soft sound, her body touches mine and I feel a jolt of electricity course through my veins, my heart races and I feel a flutter in my stomach. Is this what love feels like? I am inclined to say yes, I have never felt like this before. From the moment I saw her my life was never the same, being with her brings colour into my drab, grey world. Gives me a type of warmth I’ve never felt before. If I focus on her, I feel whole… When she wakes up I have to pretend I didn’t spend the whole night watching her, I don’t want her to think I’m a creep or anything. I curl into myself next to her and say, “Good morning.” She replies, “Good morning.” She’s so beautiful when she speaks, it takes my breath away and I could cry I’m so happy to just hear her voice. So then I ask her, “How did you sleep?” And she looks at me, I wonder what she’s thinking, “Good.” She says after a beat. I want to kiss her lips. “Should I go head and turn off the alarm?” I ask, grabbing my phone and logging in. God my password is embarrassing, what am I five? I check my Facebook messages while I wait for her to answer. If I look at her too long my brain turns into soup, and my palms get sweaty, so I focus on the tiny screen and turn off the alarm. I look up and she’s staring at the ceiling, I watch her for a moment, tracing the lines of her face, memorizing every tiny detail I can in the dim light of the early morning. “Sooo,” I say, unsure how to talk suddenly. She smiles at me, and I feel like my heart is being strangled. “So.” She responds. “What do you want for breakfast?” We’re at my house after all, we’re usually at her house, so this is awkward. “I don’t have time for breakfast.” She answers, “I have to drive back to my house, and then drive to work.” “Oh.” I reply, I’m sure the disappointment is evident on my face and in my voice. I tentatively reach out and touch her hair, brushing it from her face. She doesn’t stop me, just leans into my touch. We’re close, incredibly close. We’ve fooled around a few times, nothing major, nothing that would change our relationship, much to my dismay. I want to be more than just best friends. I want to be girlfriends, I want to wake up to her every day. Well I wouldn’t wake up to her, since I don’t really sleep. I’d just spend every night staring at her, but that’s the way I wanna spend my nights. Forever. She could teach me to cook and force me to try more food. I could learn to cook her favorite meals and have them waiting for her when she got home. Or we could cook together every night, side by side. Smiling and giggling. I chase away the thoughts before I can break my own heart. “Can we just lay here for a minute then?” I ask her, it isn’t weird when there’s a long pause between us. She gets that it takes me a long time to reply, there’s so many gears that shift and pause and break in my head. And I don’t mind when she takes a while to answer either, because I love almost everything about her. “Yea sure.” She smiles at me. There’s an error message in my brain, and I think I’m going to blue screen. How does she always know what to say or do that will make me fall in love all the more. We chat about random things for a while, but my thoughts keep drifting back to the previous night. Oh yea, I forget to mention, our other friend was over at my apartment too. Her name is Amber and she’s like, really frigging awesome and a total badass. She’s taking like a million college classes, taking care of her grandmother and is basically the glue that holds her family together. I wanna be her when I grow up to be honest. She’s actually a week younger than me, but she’s my role model. Oh, I also never mentioned my best friend’s name. God, I’m dumb, her name is Taylor. I’m the worst narrator in the world just so you know Anyways, what I’m thinking about is when we played truth or dare and the dare where Taylor had to lick something edible off my neck. It was like, so hot and like, talk about arousal. Taylor is basically everything I’ve ever been attracted to in a person. Fun, motherly, sassy, playful, erotic (She has an OnlyFans). I just can’t see a world in which I wouldn’t have fallen madly in love with her. After a while she gets up, and I know it’s almost time for her to go. And I’m reeling, struggling to find an excuse for her to stay longer. If I feign an injury will she stay? If I say I’m sick will she baby me and kiss my forehead, tuck me in, making me soup. Scratch that, I fucking hate soup. She hugs me before she leaves and gives me a kiss on the forehead. I’m too short to kiss her back. I’m like shorter than most people. Amber and I are almost the same height though, which is nice. It means we actually walk near the same pace. Ok, that’s a lie, she walks faster than me, every walks faster than me. I have a limp, I don’t know why, but my hip always aches and I refuse to go to the doctor about it. Actually if I’m honest most of my body hurts constantly unless I’m asleep. Also my mind is constantly screaming at me, I have very dark thoughts sometimes. Thoughts that I should kill myself and stuff, thoughts that everyone hates me. When I was younger these thoughts would get to be so much that I would hurt myself in ways that caused people to look at me like I was crazy. And like, yeah, I probably am crazy, but… Ok I have nothing to add. I am crazy, most days I cry for hours and have to fight off the urge to just you know, end it all. Oof, that sounds depressing, but don’t worry about me, things will turn out the way they’re meant to. So if I die, then I die I suppose. She’s gone now and I don’t know what to do with myself. Taylor is my sun and I am the sunflower that follows her light. Is that super gay to say? Probably. But I am like, super gay. Like really gay. I like guys, but I LOVE girls. There’s just something about girls that draws me in. I’m a fly drawn to their sweet nectar. I stare up at the ceiling. I think back to the first time we kissed. It was at her house. We were cuddled up together, we we’re touching each other and stuff and then I just kissed her, and it was like kissing for the first time. It was like I had been drowning my entire life and I was suddenly given air for the first time. Ok, if you’re getting sick of hearing me blabber on and on about my best friend, fret not because the whole story wont be about my big unrequited crush. (But she will definitely be a huge main feature) So I’ve been watching Euphoria and I mean, the show is fantastic. Who the hell told Hunter Schafer she could be that fucking fantastic, how is this her first time acting? I’m jealous, I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid. I was good too. But my grandmother wouldn’t allow me to pursue my dreams, I would tell her about all these acting opportunities and she would just shoot me down. Acting was the one thing I was the most passionate about. I would read script after script and act out the characters, and I could have been someone. But then everything fell apart. And I crumbled into a shadow of my former self. I gave up on everything, I stopped living. I simply survived, but I was still a good actor, so at school no one ever suspected anything was wrong. No one would have thought that I was slicing my arms and legs to ribbons, that I was starving myself, that I was slamming my head against the walls at home. That my grandma was verbally abusing me daily… that I was being put down at every turn and growing increasingly desperate to find a reason to live for. At least no one suspected, until I couldn’t pretend anymore... Ok wow, that got dark, but you are the one who picked up a story literally titled Basketcase. What did you expect? Sunshine and roses? I wish that’s what my life had been. Ok, buckle up, this story gets dark, but there’s levity in the darkness.

[pastelbatfandoms]

Get to know my character

Taking this for My Stranger Things OC!

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? I just like the way it sounded. Plus when I thought of Billy I thought of Mandy from The Cartoon lol Her Full name is Amanda Leigh Moorington. Which I half got from Mandy Moore’s name half got from Steve’s last name. 

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? Her Temper,Her Pride,Her general Insecurities. I can say Mandy is able to hide it better in public and with The Popular Crowd then in Private or around Max,Billy and Steve. 

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? They’re hair (which has been Brown,Red and Blond) Probably her lips too,Steve says they’re perfect for Kissing and Billy thinks they’re perfect for well...other things ;)

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)  Have you seen Billy and Steve? I mean ♥ 

Starting with Billy,Mandy initially fell for him because not only was he hot but he litterly saved her. Twice. But who can ignore that Charm and Sexual Magnitude for long...Plus that Butt! When they first met in California Billy had short hair so it took awhile for her to adjust to the new long curls.But She finally did when she realized that Billy liked it when Mandy played with his hair. Billy even allowed her to braid it into a Rat Tail once but it didn’t end up good. (It was a Rat Tail though so...) 

Personality wise even though Billy can be a prick,Billy’s Private emotional and Caring side outweighs their many Jealous fights in Mandy’s eyes. 

Physically Mandy loves Steve’s hair,I mean who doesn’t?! plus with those caring eyes and preppy but cool fashion sense,If Billy is An 80′s Heartthrob of The Bad Boy variety,Steve would be The Main Popular Boy turned Hopeless Romantic. Plus he’s got killer dance moves lol

 Mandy has liked Steve since Childhood growing up in Hawkins,so She was immediately drawn to him. She prefers him better now though as he is done trying to be Mr Popular Cocky guy and is more Sweet and a dork in public. She also loves how Protective he is with The Kids in their neighborhood. 

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? Mandy used to be not really Shy but not super confident either,until she moved to California. 

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? No I don’t think they really pay attention to that. tbh. Steve hates when she smokes though,reminds him of when he tried doing it to be cool. 

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? Well Billy can make her make lots of sounds ;) sorry he’s a Perv :p lol No,there’s not.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? Mandy would have to be seriously delirious and in denial to not realize she has/had a Drug problem. Also her flirting with other guys in front of Billy would be a flaw too I think,but Billy does it too so...

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? Mandy really likes Summer because that’s when she can strut around in her best Bikini when Billy is on Lifeguard duty also when her and Steve can sneak quickies when he’s on lunch break at The Mall. I don’t think she really has a favorite Holiday,maybe Valentine’s Day. 

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? A bit of Both,she loves being Sexy and wearing makeup,being a Cheerleader but she also just likes lounging around the house,also she can dish it out as good as she takes it. 

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? Billy’s Dad abusing Billy,because then it’s usually taken out on her, unless Billy is feeling unusauly emotional that time then he’ll just let her hold him while he cries. When either of them take it on Max.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? Her Book Smarts and her Crossbow Skills,have to fight those Demi Gorgons somehow. 

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Light sleeper definitely,unless she’s at Steve’s. 

Blanket stealer? Only when she sleeps with Steve lol

One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? No,Billy is though. 

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? Well...Mandy grew up with just her Parents but awhile after moving to California they died coming home from a business trip,Mandy was already dating Billy at that point and was like a Big Sister to Max so They asked if she could stay with them. despite the combustible home life Mandy moved in. Mainly because she had no where else and she loved Billy and wanted to keep Max safe. Despite she herself not being. 

Mandy has no respect for the Parental Guardians of the house though,she listens to them when she has too but otherwise She thinks Neil is just a terrible person and Susan isn’t much better. 

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. Billy’s Parents. 

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? Besides Cheerleading and Dance no. Mandy prefers reading to watching TV though,but Billy can convince her to watch Pro Wrestling with him. 

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? Maybe. Mandy is still a Teenager so that is still,thankfully,aways away. Steve is definitely Marriage material and great with Kids. Billy she’s not sure about,but he could definitely surprise her. 

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? Any place but her current situation. Mandy would have loved to leave with Billy and Max back to California. 

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? OH YES. Mandy has always been one to stand up for herself and vocalize her feelings,sometimes not in the best way. Mandy has had to become good at defending herself,she only caves in private when it becomes too much for her to handle,emotionally. 

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? Yes,Billy wants a Big Dog and Steve wants a Cat. Mandy likes both lol

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? Mandy has already dealt with her biggest fears,losing her Parents then Billy. (SPOILERS,GO WATCH ST SEASON 3)

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? Besides what I mentioned previously Mandy doesn’t have any other unique features. Surprisingly Mandy doesn’t have any tats or Piercings (besides her ears.) 

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? Mandy used to be very good in school,was a talented Writer and had to keep her grades up so stay on The Squad. Until she started Dating Billy,she has sense rectified that. 

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? in Mandy’s words: “Steve Harrington is Sweet,Funny,great at comforting me when I’m down,The voice of reason when I’m falling apart,He was My Childhood Crush for a reason,he doesn’t hide his feelings and is very Protective over everyone,regardless of his well being,which is why I love him.  

”Billy Hargrove is almost the complete opposite. Billy is Charming,Dangerous,Controlling at first,Hot tempered,Jealous but a flirt. Billy is also Charismatic,Emotional,Strong yet Vulnerable. I’ve seen his softer,gentler side that cares if I’m upset or feels bad for hurting me and I think that’s why I still love him. We do enable each other’s Vices though,but Billy hates when I do hard Drugs. 

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? Besides her Parents Death,I would say Billy’s Death was very hard on her,until Eleven let her talk to him from the other side and Mandy was finally able to move on. 

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?  Physically Steve is very attentive and affectionate, Romantic,I thought he might be a bit too safe until I called him Daddy once...” 

As for Billy our love is all consuming,sometimes very Rough,sometimes very Passionate,sometimes were Sober sometimes were not. Billy is very into PDA and not afraid to let others know I’m his girl and Vice Versa.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? Stealing something like Alcohol or doing drugs. 

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? Writing or Acting. 

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? Stood up for them and to them. Almost getting killed fighting a Demi Gorgon. 

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? She prefers writing poetry,or essays. Reading Fashion Magazines in public and Romance or Teen Drama Books in Private. Mandy’s Favorite Book and Movie is Valley of The Dolls. Later on her favorite Movie becomes Heathers. She loves Hair Metal Bands like Poison,Ratt and Bon Jovi also Jerry Lee Lewis (because he’s Steve’s favorite) If she hadn’t met Billy, Mandy would have seriously become a Groupie. 

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? Not unless they’re Monsters. 

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? Steve would probably take her to the Movies and then Ice Cream after,maybe The Fair if it were in town,winning her a stuffed animal,they would then go back to his place and go Skinny Dipping in the pool. 

Billy would take her driving in his Comero they would take a road trip to California,stopping to have Sex in the back seat on the way over,They would hang out on the Beach and Billy would teach her how to Surf,they would make love on the sand and then spend the night in a Hotel eating take out,drinking and maybe Partying the next day.  

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? Her Room with The Door locked. Or The Library,no one would think to look for her there.

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) Waffles!

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? Not so much anymore,Mandy’s pretty Fearless but she always thought she’d die at the hands of a loved one. 

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? Not really. Though Depression and possibly Bi Polar? yeah. 

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? Billy flirting with older Women,Steve acting cool to keep up appearances. 

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? Rain or Sunshine doesn’t matter much to her. But she hates Snow. 

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? A Bitch,A Snob,Slut,Lost Cause,Burn Out,Nerd. (When younger) all of which Billy would kick the shit out off A person for calling her. 

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? Reading actual Books lol Mandy also wants to appear tougher on the outside then she actually is on the inside. Also doesn’t want anyone in California knowing about her past in Hawkins.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? Um No Duh,When you live with Assholes and your real parents were mostly absent off working....you tend to develop an Independence and thick skin at an early age. 

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? Billy finding out about her and Steve. Not being able to save Billy.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? At times. Mandy is definitely more ON in front of the more popular kids in Cali and wants to appear more carefree and wild while in Hawkins. Only Billy,Max and later on Steve get to see her with her guard down. 

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? Already happened. 

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? Both. 

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? Mandy likes playing with both Billy and Steve’s hair while sitting on there laps. 

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? Depends on the group but she’s definitely come out of her shell more now. 

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? um BILLY,we’ve already went over the fact that they Flirt to make each other Jealous. Mandy also dislikes Nancy because of the way she Broke up with Steve. 

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? Mandy used to have Nightmares about her and Billy fighting,especially after he found out about her and Steve. Also had Nightmares about The Mind Flayres when Billy was possessed by one.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

I took this as how The Crush would react so,I’ll start with Billy. Mandy would have waited for Billy to tell her he loved her,in fear of being rejected,once he did,in that same cocky tone,but softer and in private,she would smile in contentment and tell him she loved him back.

With Steve it took awhile for her to tell him she loved him back,mainly because of Billy finding out,once she finally admitted her feelings though Steve would definitely be relieved and over joyed,he would probably pick her up and kiss her.

[anxiously-unsatisfied-world]

Patton Adoption AU

So, I finally have enough prepared to talk about the AU I’ve been working on! It features Patton being adopted by Logan and Roman (as I haven’t seen anything with him being the child being adopted). If everything goes right (meaning I have three chapters done by my birthday/July 1st (I have around two finished now)), I’ll start posting the actual story Sunday.

But for now, have some headcanons (canons?)/ facts! ^^

Patton Love:

10-years-old

4′5″

Has sandy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, freckles, and is a little chubby.

Loves to learn - is curious about everything

His favorite outfit is the traditional light blue polo, khakis, and a grey cardigan draped around his shoulders.

The cardigan reminds him of a cape and he loves that.

He isn’t super picky about what he wears - unless he’s nervous about some occasion. Then he has to wear his favorite outfit. (Or at least he’ll try to)

Is usually super bubbly and energetic; though he certainly has his moments of being quiet and withdrawn - especially if he’s focused or upset.

He took care of the younger, also bullied kids at the orphanage, taking on their bullying if he could to prevent them from getting hurt.

And thus, is seen as an older brother figure to these kids.

Was bullied for being so optimistic about finding a home despite being at the orphanage for three years - but it doesn’t really affect him all that much.

His best friend is Valerie. She’s the daughter of the orphanage’s owners and thus, he has a good support system with her and her parents.

Her mother would sneak him extra cookies since he’s so close to Valerie.

Is pansexual but hasn’t quite figured that out yet/doesn’t care to figure it out at this point.

Has been in the orphanage since he was seven - when his parents died in a car accident.

Logan Prince:

27-years-old

5′10″

Has dark brown hair, cold blue eyes, a thin and wiry frame.

100% an introvert

Wears his usual black polo and tie - however, it’s not just blue ties. He’ll wear neutral colors most of the time unless it’s a special occasion or Roman wants him to wear a certain one. (this is when he’s out of the house)

At home, he’s a lot less formal - wearing t-shirts and jeans and sometimes onesies (but shh don’t tell anyone ^.~)

Is slightly insecure due to being the ‘gifted’ child when he was growing up. Sure, he managed to keep learning new things and being smarter than his peers but the pressure was too much sometimes.

Majored in chemistry and had to take a year to get his teaching certificate - minored in creative writing/poetry (which surprised quite a few people)

Thus, doesn’t have 100% the best social skills but Roman helps make up for that and is teaching him to better recognize social cues.

Is a high school chemistry teacher - can be seen as strict due to the dangerous nature of the course but altogether tries to make the subject interesting and relevant to the kids.

Plays the piano to relax from a hard day at work - it’s nice to just have no expectations on him for a while as there's never been a day where he wasn’t expected to be perfect.

Will usually accompany Roman when he sings - they don’t usually perform like this but for important enough events, Roman can convince him to.

Is demisexual.

Roman Prince:

28-years-old

5′6″

Dirty blond hair, green eyes, tanned, has freckles, is pretty muscular from dancing/running around at work.

Very outgoing - like so much.

Very stylish clothes most of the time - usually a touch of makeup to accentuate the outfit - not because he’s insecure.

At home, he wears a lot of Disney/theater merchandise - also whenever he’s particularly busy - like the weeks of a production at the theater (which he owns)

Loves to perform whenever he can but will take days off and go sing to kids in hospitals/do performances depending on the day & location. It warms his heart to see them enjoying something that he can so easily do for them.

He is a bit insecure in his skills due to years of being bullied for being a theater geek. Sure, it didn’t affect him much at the time but it has left lasting effects on how he treats his own skill, but Logan’s always there to reassure him.

Is very skilled when it comes to music. He can play several instruments in addition to being skilled at singing and dance.

Majored in theater (as expected by like everyone he knew) and minored in creative writing, which is where he met Logan.

Roman took a gap year - during that time, performing in a few different plays.

They met the second semester of their freshman year.

They started dating in the middle of their junior year.

It was actually Logan to propose - he did so on Roman’s birthday after planning the most romantic day together. (after they graduated)

They got married around six months later and have been together ever since.

Roman is pansexual.

Virgil Sanders:

11-years-old

4′8” but slouches to about 4′6″

Has jet black hair, emo style (duh), pale skin, and ice blue eyes.

Is both bullied at school and abused at home. At school it’s because of his style and at home, it’s because he’s gay (that and his parents are not good people.)

Is very introverted & is anxious around people and in general.

Very thin - almost worryingly so - clothes hang off of him even if they’re supposed to be his size.

Has his signature hoodie. He learned how to sew when his parents wouldn’t buy him a new one and sewed the patches on to protect it from falling apart. Added the white thread for aesthetic.

Has an older sister who managed to escape from their parents. She has promised to come back for him but she’s having a bit of trouble financially right now so she can’t just take on the care of her younger brother. She hates it. She doesn’t want him anywhere near their parents but it’ll have to wait until she’s a bit more stable.

Virgil adores his big sister - she’s where he gets most of his aesthetic from and he trusts that she’ll fulfill her promise. It’s why he puts up with the abuse so much.

Is interested in learning a musical instrument and performing for others - despite his horrible anxiety - but that’ll have to wait. He’s also fairly proficient at dance and is best with fast, intricate movements which he executes gracefully.

Is gay but doesn’t quite feel like that fits 100% (might be asexual or demi but he’s not certain)

So there! I have Remy, Deceit, and Virgil’s sister planned out and I know I want Thomas in this story but he hasn’t been planned just how yet. (this will have sympathetic Deceit in it as a fair warning)

But I’m super excited about this story and will answer any questions you have about it! I’ll try to have the post with the information about the aforementioned characters up on like Thursday or Friday ^^

[nellie-elizabeth]

Suits: Skin in the Game (7x01)

This show has a special place in my heart. It's sort of like a disobedient, not-too-bright child. It can piss me off so easily, but nothing it does makes me love it any less. And lemme tell you something - there are a bunch of things about this opener to Season Seven that are not what I would call ideal. And yet... I still had fun watching.

Cons:

Donna... okay... look. All last season I was annoyed because the whole plot thread with "The Donna" was stupid and made no logical sense. However, I really liked the idea of exploring Donna getting more attention and respect for all of her hard work. Now, we throw this whole "Donna is suddenly a senior partner" thing into the mix. Yo. I'm a legal secretary who works at a corporate firm... let me tell you that this is ridiculous. There are plenty of other ways to move up in your field without going to law school, even if you work at a law firm. Donna seems to be suggesting that she's valuable not because of legal expertise but because of her management skills. Great! Promote her to a practice manager, head of client relations, executive administrator... any of these things. These are all real jobs with real power and money and an office and a say in firm policies. And they all make a lot more sense than just her being made a partner in the firm. It's ridiculous.

Louis screws up, people call him on it, and he backs down. Again. This time it's because he's smarting over his breakup with Tara. I get that he would be hurting, but he yells some truly horrible and abusive things to the associates, and we're all just going to forgive him and move on to the next cycle in the never-ending Louis story? Yikes. I'm sick of it.

Pros:

That being said, I do still like the idea of Donna standing up for herself more. Basically it's the framework I have an issue with, rather than the sentiment and motivation underpinning it. I hope that we can see what Donna can truly bring to the table other than just smart-ass remarks. She seemed like a truly brilliant secretary, but what does she offer that warrants the title of partner? I'm willing to suspend my disbelief to find out where they go with this.

Also, this episode featured Harvey not wanting to give thought to Donna's idea, and Louis demeaning Donna when she told him something he didn't want to hear, but then in the end, we get this great scene with Mike. More so than anybody, maybe even Harvey, Donna is the person who saved Mike and really encouraged him to start his new life. Donna comes in to congratulate Mike on his job and tell him how proud she is, and Mike makes a half-jesting offer that Donna could stay with the office, as it were, and work for Mike. But then Donna gives him the news that she's a partner. Mike is shocked, but really pleased. He tells Donna "it's about time." This was the first and only response Donna got in the whole episode where somebody affirmed her belief that she truly deserved this. Setting aside the reality-bending nonsense of Donna being named partner, I really did think this was a nice moment.

While Louis' never-ending cycle of crap pisses me off, I am glad that this plot thread gave Rachel a chance to grow a bit. She still played a supporting role here, as she encouraged Mike to go off and have fun with Harvey, and tried to smooth things over with Louis as best as she could. In the end, it looks like she will be taking over management of the associates, which is a big step for her. Her journey as a compassionate yet driven young woman is a journey I really loved watching, and I feel like she's finally getting what she's deserved all along.

Harvey got the biggest character arc of the episode, and fortunately I quite enjoyed it. He starts dating Paula, his prior therapist, but at first things don't go well because he seems to be reverting back to old bad habits. He can't seem to take control of the firm. He and Mike work on one last case together for old time's sake, but Mike has to yell at Harvey when Harvey backs down under threat from the client. Eventually, Harvey steps it up, beats the client at his own game, makes Donna partner like she's been asking all episode, and tells Louis firmly that he'll be taking control as managing partner. He then goes back to Paula and kisses her, affirming to himself and her that he wants to give this a real try.

Surprisingly, I actually rather like the idea of Paula and Harvey making a go of it. It's sort of random and out of the blue, but I like her as a character and I like that she doesn't put up with Harvey's crap. There was a lot of manly-man posturing from him in this episode, and she indulged it, but there was the sense that she knew exactly what was up with him from the start, as would make sense given their history as doctor and patient. Again, I'm sort of suspending my disbelief, because in reality I feel like a relationship between two people with such a history is a terrible idea. But, hey. Let's see how it shakes out.

Harvey finally taking control of the firm was really satisfying to see. I'm glad Louis backed off immediately and let Harvey take what's his. I'm also glad that the reason Harvey was finally able to see sense was that Mike yelled at him and demanded that he take control. There's something so satisfying about putting an end to Harvey's self-doubt. He's always put on this confident air, but now I feel like he has the reality of confidence to back it up. And I'm a sucker for the fact that Mike is the one who got him there.

I'll mention also, real quick, that Mike's character arc is basically that the clinic is really leery of Mike going to work for PSL, and Mike keeps insisting to everybody that he's going to do pro bono work and this will be better for everyone. Of course, his first case back with Harvey is working on a huge corporate deal, going to a fancy party with models, and having a blast while doing it.

Obviously this is going to be a thing this season, and I actually really like it. While before Mike was always looking over his shoulder and afraid he was going to get caught, now he has legitimacy. He's faced with the prospect of what to do with that legitimacy, and thus far he's failing in his own estimation. There's going to be push-back from Harvey, who's going to want Mike around as a corporate lawyer, and there's going to be the undeniable fact that Mike's really good at pushing rich people around and making big deals, and that more than being good at it, he actually likes it. I want to see how Mike reconciles these things.

I often end my reviews with a look at all the bromance, and hoooo boy. This episode was chalk full. Honestly, Mike and Harvey's flirting is getting a bit out of hand, but I'm not complaining.

First, there's the fact that Harvey, as he so often does, frames his day and his mood in relation to Mike. When he tells Paula that he's gotten his life together, the two things he mentions are that he's made peace with his family, and he got his old associate back. Later, when Donna tries to talk to him, he uses as an evasion tactic the fact that "it's Mike's first day back."

The banter in this episode was off the charts. Some of the best this show has ever had. But it's peppered with so many warm moments of Mike and Harvey just affirming how much they care about each other. Harvey is long past denying what this kid means to him. There are too many cute moments to count, but I think my favorite is probably when Mike gets drunk at the party and still schools Harvey by remembering the plan perfectly. The look on Harvey's face as Mike drunkenly walks away to talk to models is one of pure affection and amusement. I could watch these two hang out all day.

And there you have it. This show is weird and I don't know that I can support most of what it gets up to nowadays. The mishandling of Donna and Louis' characters sucks, because there's so much potential there. But if I can get some more feel-good Harvey and Mike bromance in the mix, then I'm apparently willing to put up with quite a lot of nonsense.

7/10

[comicteaparty]

April 8th-April 14th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 8th, 2019 to April 14th, 2019.  The chat focused on Radio Silence by Vanessa Stefaniuk.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Radio Silence by Vanessa Stefaniuk~! (http://www.radiosilencecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until April 14th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you think happened in Wren’s past to make her the way she is? How does this also tie in to what happened between her and Conibear? Will she ultimately overcome these issues? If so, how do you think it’ll happen?

€heshire777

My favorite so far is Shy's expression when Wren grabbed his arm on the bus.

€heshire777

I don't have the link handy, sorry

€heshire777

Radio Silence should totaly do a jam with noosehead

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Do you think Matt is hiding something from the group given his video call at one point? If so, what is he hiding, and what’s stopping him from saying anything to the group? What does the person he was talking to have to do with it?

starkfield

1) I love Brent's worry going into overdrive when Colbie and Shy get left behind and the bus is looking for him, worried that even an old lady walking her dog is in desperate need of help...it's such a great character moment as you realize how much he notices/is always mentally juggling

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene this read through is probably the scene where wren and shy finally talk. i appreciate how natural everything felt, yet at the same time felt like a concentrated efffort on wren's part to finally get shy to talk to her. brent also kind of set up some expectations about whether theyd get along or not, so it was some good immediate payoff to seeing that yup, he right. 2) I think it's pretty clear Wren was an abusive relationship before she met the band. Who with it's hard to say. It could be a boyfriend but given her age id also believe it was her father. But regardless i think for all of wren's confidence that she has a lot of self esteem issues that shes trying to get over and it doesnt help when ppl like conibear are around her reinforcing her worst fears. i think shell overcome them, but i kind of think she needs to get a therapist if she doesnt already have one. which, theyre on the road a lot, so i dont get the impression she does have one.

3) Probably Shy because I find Shy the most relateable. Also I like shy because i kind of feel like he has the most potential for growth. Not to say the other characters arent growing or have issues to deal with, but i feel shy kind of starts on the lowest rung of the ladder. So when he grows and changes, like how he finally learns to talk to Wren, its really noticeable and really satisfying. Like watching your baby grow up. 4) for the life of me i cant fathom what matt is hiding. at first youd assume the obvious: that he wants to go solo. but that doesnt seem likely given other things hes said. and youd also think hed have said something by now if that was the case. though i feel like hes avoiding the subject because he feels like the others, especially colbie, would take it as a betrayal. as for the person he was talking to, who i believe is his cousin, i think shes just involved in the sense that he needed to tell someone. so he told her cause she cant exactly go spilling the beans to the band for him

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Given the focus on communication and relationships, what was your favorite moment where the challenge relationships present was on display? Overall, what do you think we can learn about the two from the comic?

RebelVampire

5) I've always really love this top panel with the Brandenburg Gate http://www.radiosilencecomic.com/comic/174 Cause man, there is so much attention to detail in the panel. Not just for the architecture, but all the little activities of the people too. It really feels like a hot tourist spot. Not to mention I love the angle used cause it really gives an impression of granduer and scale. 6) i really liked the recent one between matt and shy where shy was upset matt had treated him like a kid when dealing with samantha. at first i was kind of was more on the other character's page where i didnt really get what shy's deal was considering samantha had been the awful one. but then when shy was forced to communicate his feelings, it just really struck me as an "omg this makes sense." but i somehow feel this reaction i had was 100% what communication and relationships are all about. because sometimes we dont understand how we hurt others, and sometimes we forget that ppl arent mind readers. so for me, it was a moment where communication really was at the heart of it and it showed that without communication, relationships really just dont work that well. which this last sentiment i think is the take away from the entire comic. communication is key, because if we dont make others understand, we cant expect others to just magically know.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Why do you think Liz took a chance on the band? What happened between her and Pandora, and how might this come up again given the past history Radio Silence has with the Sirens?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Overall, how do you feel Shy will continue to grow and change over the course of the story? What role do you think Wren will have to play in his future?

RebelVampire

7) im really torn between saying shy and wren or shy and brent. so ill say both. cause i super enjoy watching how shy and wren come to get along even though their personalities are so opposite. like opposite in the way i never know what to expect when theyre interacting, so that makes each interaction exciting. but i also like shy and brent just cause of how mother hen brent is with shy. and honestly, theyre just super adorable when theyre together. 8) I'm going to be boring and say I think Liz took a chance on them for the exact reasons she said: she liked their sound and thought they had potential. though probably not shown i imagine once she met them, she saw their chemistry and charisma and thought "perfect." as for what happened between her and Pandora, i really think it might have had to do with the sirens. Either something before like Liz was supposed to help Pandora and Pandora betrayed her. Or it could be after the Conibear incident and Liz told Pandora to step up and doing something. and Pandora was like "lol nope" and Liz was like "how dare" but i do think pandora will be vindictive and use the sirens to irritate liz. and everyone will be sad

9) one of my variety details i think deserves more attention is how great the comic is at throwing in languages to kind of show everyone's ethnicity and add character to them through that. like how wren and shy both swear in different languages. or wren's extremely heavy accent that's really spot on for what it would sound like. i think it really helps bring the world together and emphasize the setting as well. because youd expect a british rock band to have more opportunities for different languages and stuff like that just due to how connected europe kind of is in general. overall though, just an endearing detail to me. 10) I think Shy still has to grow and stop being so, well, shy. Like even the recent incident with Matt kind of shows that hes n ot the best communicator. and i think thats something well see continue to change and hell voice his opinion and communicate his feelings more and more. and i think wren will definitely help with that cause she is more than willing to remind him ppl cant read his mind and he has to say the things for ppl to know the things.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. As a band, do you feel that Radio Silence will continue to be successful and grow their popularity? Or, do you feel they will crash and burn? What challenges will the band continue to face in regards to either path?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. What do you think is the story with Colbie and his family? Why do you think Colbie’s dad is trying so hard to contact him? How might this affect Colbie’s place in the band?

RebelVampire

11) I think this comic's strength is realism. Like this feels like an actual band that might exist and how theyd actually go about their actual daily lives. Even between the social media stuff, it just has this really endearing authenticity that helps draw you in to the drama and slice-of-life stuff. 12) I think theyll continue to grow, but i kind of feel that its their personal relationships that are gonna be the biggest obstacle to their growth. Cause I mean you have wren is keeps bottling up her past and no way that isnt going to blow up some day. You got Matt keeping secrets. You got Colbie's family issues. And then I kind of even think there might be issues with Brent cause i think theres gonna come a point where Brent has to pick between family and the band or something like that. And all these are gonna bring about drama and test everyone's dedication to staying cause love of music and fans can only take you so far

RebelVampire

13) i am most looking forward to things about wren getting revealed. cause i feel like the time is drawing near where well at least get an answer or two, and im interested to see what sort of depths this adds for her character. 14) I get the impression that Colbie's mom and dad might have divorced maybe and then she died. or maybe no divorce. i just assume divorce cause it sounded like she had money to give colbie which wouldnt work as smoothly if the mom and dad had shared accounts. granted i guess i also assume death too just from how colbie phrases buying gifts and stuff to matt. as for colbie's dad, well, probably typical rich dad. didnt have time for his son, son goes off to do his own thing, dad is like wait a second get back here. as for why hes trying to contact colbie? I mean i could assume the typical get back home here? but then maybe his dad is just angry cause colbie hasnt called him. and like will suggest colbie comes back out of vengence for colbie cutting him out of his life. i dont think itll have much effect tho outside of everyone else finding it a big deal while colbie doesnt really want to talk about it.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Radio Silence this week! Please also give a special thank you to Vanessa Stefaniuk for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Radio Silence, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://www.radiosilencecomic.com/

Vanessa’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/quietsnooze

Vanessa’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/quietsnooze

[recentanimenews]

THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Gets A Sad Backstory In Episodes 71-77

  It's time again for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! It's me, Carolyn Burke, and I'll be your host this week as we continue watching all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 64-70, and we continue this week with episodes 71-77. Let's get started!

  This batch gave us a lot of tragic backstory as we got a closer look at Gaara's sad origins and the possible reasons for some of his odd behaviors. Quite an emotional turn after all the fighting we saw last week. Of course, there were still plenty of scuffles to go around. We also got to see the Third Hokage in epic action and had tons of fun with a bugs versus puppets showdown. 

  Let's find out what the Crunchyroll Features team thought of this week's episodes!

    So, the obvious elephant in the room is Gaara. He's ... not OK. But it struck me that he's very much suffering from mental illness, probably depression/PTSD and possibly some kind of personality disorder, from a very young age. He even reaches out for help, acknowledging his lack of understanding of pain and empathy, only to have that backfire greatly. How do you feel about Gaara's villainy before and after this backstory revelation?

Paul: Although I feel pity for Gaara's horrific, abusive upbringing, I think the metaphors of his mistreatment break down a bit when you realize that the everyday citizens of Sand Village (as compared to the assassins sent by Gaara's father) have legitimate reasons to fear him. As a child, Gaara can't control his powers and when distressed he injures and kills people at random because he can't distinguish friend from foe. I feel sorry for Gaara, but if I lived in Sand Village I would also stay the hell away from him for my own safety and the safety of my family.

  Joseph: I dig Gaara's backstory, and while I agree the people of the Sand Village had good reason to fear him, it doesn't delegitimize it. If anything it makes it slightly more tragic.

  Danni: Yeah I don't quite gel with the mental illness reading either for the same reasons as Paul. I was however very impressed by his backstory. I had already guessed that he'd had a caretaker try to assassinate him a while ago, but it was still very heartbreaking to watch it play out.

  Kara: I mean, what happened very much affected him, and unsurprisingly so. If the last words of my one friend in the world were "Everyone hates you including me," I'd be messed up, too. I don't know how (or if) I'd class his reaction mental illness-wise, though. But yeah, it's a double-edged thing. I don't think people were wrong to fear him, but it sure did suck. I also think it's kind of neat how they peppered in things like him talking to the sand during his fight with Sasuke... which before was just weird, and now is something else entirely.

  Jared: Like the others have said, it kind of goes both ways. The regular people of the Sand Village had enough reason to fear him since he could get out of control with his powers. That being said, Gaara was surrounded by some exceptionally crappy people. Which makes the whole reveal of why he's become who he is today make more sense as no one was willing to offer him any help. I certainly feel more for his character than when he was initially introduced as the murder death kill kid.

  David: Gaara's story is basically "what if Naruto didn't have Iruka and also the Hokage wanted him dead," so I think it's ultimately more about the negative consequences of children left neglected and abused instead of mental illness. Still very tragic though.

  Noelle: It's tragic, but it's a dual thing—unlike Naruto who can't touch the nine-tails at all, Gaara's powers are constantly active and he has no control over them. He is legitimately dangerous and people fear him for a reason. That being said, that nobody, not even his own family, has attempted to reach out to him genuinely makes my heart hurt a lot.

    Similarly, what did you think about Naruto's realization about how close he could have come to following in Gaara's footsteps? I genuinely appreciate Naruto's ability to look on the bright side of everything and persevere in the face of terrible adversity.

Paul: I appreciate the parallels and I hope that this story-line eventually leads to Gaara's redemption, but I do wish Naruto didn't take so long to find his courage. Sakura defended Sasuke without hesitation armed with nothing but a kunai, after all.

  Joseph: I'm with Paul on this one. I like where they're going with the connection between the two, but at this point, Naruto needs to start acting more impulsively in these life or death situations. This batch of episodes has already been not-Naruto-centric enough as it is!

  Danni: I love it. Naruto's ability to relate to his enemies might be the most endearing thing about him to me. The conflict between him and Gaara is actually reminding me a lot of a recurring lesson in Mob Psycho 100 about how much our lives are shaped by those around us, so those blessed with good companions should be thankful for them and try to reach out to those without.

  Kara: Naruto's a lot better than I am. I've been in a few "there but for the grace of God" situations myself, where I can see someone else has the same baggage as me but lacked the support system I had to survive the situation intact. I think we've all been there, just not with demon foxes and sand moms, you know? I've gotta admire Naruto for counting his blessings positively instead of just sitting there going, "Yikes."

  Jared: As Danni said, it's real interesting seeing this play out with how Mob Psycho 100 is doing something very similar. I like that Naruto is able to recognize this and get why Gaara is the way he is since he just as easily could have turned out the same. It totally works with who he is. Although it was kind of funny seeing clips from the first few episodes and thinking "oh those episodes don't seem like they were that far back", except it was 70+ episodes ago.

  David: I've said it before, but things like this really do a lot of work in selling Naruto's slow growth toward being a believable leader figure, making his ultimate goal of becoming the Hokage thematically fitting instead of just kind of nebulous. I always seem to like it when it comes up.

  Noelle: I love the parallels, because it does ring true. Both of them internalized their pain in a different way, but what would have happened if Iruka wasn't around? People tend to give back to the world what the world gives them, and if Naruto didn't have a positive mindset or a support system, he definitely would've ended up way worse.

  Do you agree with Gaara's assessment that Sasuke is hard, cold, and hate-filled? He's pretty angsty, but I'd have to go with no, myself.

Paul: I think Gaara's correct in his assessment. Sasuke is driven by revenge and he's often contemptuous of others and overwhelmed by self-loathing, which are traits that I hope he will eventually leave behind. It's really just a matter of degree. If Sasuke's a six on the "hard, cold, and hate-filled" scale, then Gaara's an eleven.

  Joseph: Gaara nailed it. I haven't seen much from Sasuke in these early episodes to indicate otherwise.

  Danni: Oh, absolutely. He's changed bit by bit being around Sakura and Naruto, but he's still clearly driven by the desire to kill Itachi. I'm anxious to find out what downfall he suffers as a result, and I'm most disappointed by Kakashi, who seems to be encouraging it.

  Kara: I can't really say Gaara's wrong. A few of our protagonists, starting with Naruto, have sort of back-burnered (but not abandoned) their specific goals in favor of learning and practicing their "Way of the Ninja"—which is a theme I love whenever it comes up. Sasuke is still stuck in his Season 1 Episode 1 motivation while others are growing and maturing. He's good at what he does, but I feel like that one-track mind is gonna get him in trouble.

  Jared: I wouldn't say he's necessarily as fueled by it as Gaara is where it's basically his entire existence of living, but Sasuke can get up there with his desire for revenge. Again, I think it works because we see just how much of a parallel he has with Gaara, without the two of them being identical. Sasuke's been helped by being paired with Naruto and Sakura, but it hasn't necessarily quelled his intentions either.

  David: Gaara is right but I'm not sure he really understands why. Sasuke is like an inverse Gaara—where Gaara lashes out against the world in its entirety, Sasuke is so filled with anger toward one person that he is numb to the rest of the world. As said it keeps him from really growing as a person, and from even recognizing that there are people who care about him at all. His assessment is ultimately on-point to me.

  Noelle: I'd say Gaara is pretty spot-on. While Sasuke has come some ways in finding comrades, his entire motivation for being is still revenge. That eats away at you, whether you like it or not.

  Let's lighten up the mood, shall we? We previously mentioned, almost unanimously, how awesome the bug jutsu is. What did you all think about the bug fight scenes and how effective they are as trackers?

  Paul: I was honestly expecting something a little flashier from Ino's Chakra-devouring insect ninjutsu, but maybe it just appears a bit tame when compared to the visual lunacy of Kankuro's freaky puppet antics.

  Joseph: I really enjoyed this fight, but that's a no-brainer because it had two things I love to watch: puppets and bugs. Pitting the two against one another is MUAH. I don't know that it's a totally awesome jutsu, but I like how creative Kishimoto gets with its implementation.

  Danni: I never said it was awesome, only that it was powerful. I cannot stand bugs. The most terrifying thing that could ever happen to me is being swarmed by bugs. They are a near unstoppable jutsu because their existence is so terrifying.

  Kara: One of my favorite things about Naruto is everyone's creativity. They learn these basic tactics and have their own styles, but it all comes down to adapting to your opponent and surroundings. I also like a fight where the zinger comes at the end: We've been focused on what's going on in front of us, meanwhile, something was planted waaaaay earlier and is just now becoming relevant. Puppet vs. bug is not a fight I thought I'd enjoy, but I admit to being wrong.

  Jared: Getting devoured by bugs is like nightmare fuel for me, although that whole fight was coming up with clever ways to utilize them without it just being here's a swarm. I actually thought what was most interesting about that fight was the respect Kankuro and Shino give each other near the end where they're just impressed with the other's technique.

  David: In the grand scheme of things it wasn't really an all-time highlight, but I certainly did appreciate getting a more traditional "weird tactics Naruto fight" out of this batch of otherwise huge-power battles.

  Noelle: Action-wise, it isn't the greatest, but can an insect lover like me ever say no to this kind of stuff? Of course not. I had a blast.

      Good segue here, I've been noticing a lot of interesting directorial decisions. I particularly liked the shot of the bugs crawling out of Shino's jacket and up his face. Any moments like this for you all?

  Paul: I don't know if it counts as a directorial flourish, but I really enjoyed the torturous look of the Soul-Sealing Jutsu that the Third Hokage breaks out for his fight with Gaara. I also liked how Monkey King Enma in staff form would change not just length but also width and thickness during the fight scenes, which feels more authentic to his Journey to the West roots. That must have been a real challenge for the animators.

  Joseph: The fight between Orochimaru and the Third Hokage was absolutely overflowing with top-notch directorial decisions. One shot that really stood out to me is simple at a glance, but I loved the angle chosen when the resurrected Hokages step toward the third and walk over their own coffins. Some really stylish visuals in the first three or so episodes here.

  Danni: A decision that stuck out the most to me was keeping everything in the Third Hokage's perspective once the darkness jutsu had been activated. From the moment it was activated to the moment it was released we didn't see a single moment of that fight from outside his perspective.

  Kara: A little thing I loved. In Gaara's flashback, when his whole situation fell apart and he realized he'd been lied to by the one person he cared about. The whole "glass shattering" motif is a common one for moments like this, yeah, but in Gaara's case it was reminiscent of when his Sand Armor shatters—that last little layer of protected he has.

  Jared: The utilization of cinematic bars on Gaara seeing himself and his mom turn to sand was an interesting touch that I can't tell if it was more to make it seem more serious or set itself apart from the flashback. I also dug in Naruto's remembrance when he tries to look at his reflection and sees Gaara staring back, but headbutts what he's looking at and it returns to him with a shattered mirror and blood trickling down his face.

  David: The animation in the first episode of this batch is so loose and fluid, really a joy to watch. I was very glad they finally gave a lavishly animated fight scene to a character that isn't Sasuke.

  Noelle: As others have said, the Orochimaru vs Third Hokage fight really had some massively good animation direction. It's the first time we see something where we know how much power is involved, and that nails it.

    And just in general, what were your highs and lows week?

  Paul: The high point for me was the fight between the Third Hokage and the zombie resurrections of the First Hokage and the Second Hokage. The special effects animators really pulled out all of the stops there, and all of the elemental magic was especially impressive for something created within the constraints of TV animation. My low point was Naruto falling prey to Gaara's intimidation for so long; I like Naruto better when he takes bold, confident, heroic action, even if that means he ends up boasting or biting off more than he can chew.

  Joseph: My high point was also the Hokage battle. The animation is through the roof here, and it was just a creative and exciting battle all around, befitting of its subject matter. Low point would be Gaara's transformation. It may look cool on the page when Kishimoto draws it but it looks really bad in the show, with his Boglin-lookin' ass.

  Danni: The high point for me was definitely the Third Hokage's fight. The animation was fluid without being overly flashy. I enjoy flashy animation, but I really loved the simple fluidity of that fight. My low point would also have to be Gaara's transformation. Its full form looks alright, but the partial form just looks a bit goofy.

  Kara: Agreeing with all of the above. The Hokage battle is so cool. For a while, we never really saw the Third Hokage as anything but the dude in charge who sometimes hands down uncomfortable news, but he is the Hokage. And one thing I've learned from anime and action movies is old dudes get old for a reason; I figured he was no slouch even now. And yeah, to echo everyone else, I could not take Gaara's transformation seriously. I need to check out the manga and see how it looked there.

  Jared: The Hokage battle was real rad, especially getting to see the upper echelon of techniques and jutsu that we haven't seen before. I also enjoyed how they were able to give everything that was happening a good amount of time by switching back and forth between the Hokage battle, the hunt and eventual fight with Gaara, and what's happening in Leaf Village. It was a lot. Low point was as with everyone else, Gaara's transformed state. Hopefully, it looks more intimidating in the manga and not like a flesh blob as he does here.

  David: Adding one to the pile of appreciation for the Hokage Rumble. Low point is on the other end of the episodes, the kaiju battle between Gaara and Naruto. Everything just looks and feels so silly, and at the same time the scale of everything has escalated so quickly (literally and figuratively I guess). It's just jarring really.

  Noelle: Third Hokage vs Orochimaru and the zombie Hokages were just so good. I didn't enjoy it as much in the manga, surprisingly, but here it was stellar. Inversely, I really liked Gaara's slow monstrous transformation in the manga, but in the anime ... it looks cheesy, I'll say that.

    COUNTERS:

"I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 0 (23 total) Bowls of ramen consumed: 1 bowl (30 bowls, 3 cups total) Shadow Clones created: 16 (274 total)

  And that's it for this week, folks! Feel free welcome to join us for this rewatch, any time. Especially if you haven't already watched the original Naruto!

  Here's our upcoming schedule:

-Next week, on APRIL 5th CAYLA COATS takes the reigns for EPISODES 78-84 as we meet a mysterious new stranger.

-Then, on APRIL 12th NOELLE OGAWA will take a turn at the wheel for EPISODES 85-91.

-On APRIL 19th NICOLE MEJIAS will walk us through the legendary Sannin battle in EPISODES 92-98.

  Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

  Have a question for next week's batch of Episodes 78-84? Drop it in the comments and you might find your answer in next week's installment!

----

  Carolyn also writes for Bunny Ears and Cracked. Follow her on Instagram or Twitter.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[writingiscool121-blog]

Social Media Research Paper

Social Media: Beneficial or Detrimental?

Last year, I decided to give myself a month-long break from social media, including Instagram and Snapchat. The main reason why I did this is because I wanted to focus on studying for final exams; however, this break also taught me about how much social media affects my life. I know that I am fully capable of entertaining myself without it, but I realized how much I missed talking to the community on there. Social networks are a way to connect with friends and learn more about each other, yet at the same time, they can also cause harm to the people who use them. Social media has its benefits when used as a hobby by teenagers, but the drawbacks don’t outweigh these benefits.

Social media sites have become increasingly common over the past decade. They are so common now that over 50% of teens go on social media at least once daily (Bernstein). Many adults have been questioning the reason for this because they grew up without access to this kind of technology. If social media is being used so frequently, it must have a ton of benefits and positive aspects.

It is true that social media has features that are beneficial to teenagers. The blogs found on Tumblr are a great example. Blogs are a great way for kids to share their creativity with others and find people who share the same interests (Bernstein). For example, if someone is extremely passionate about Star Wars, they can make a blog about it. On this blog, they can post behind-the-scenes pictures, cast updates, and exciting facts about the movies. If Star Wars fans follow this blog, they gain more knowledge about one of their favorite interests and can connect with the person running it.

Blogs also allow kids to practice essential writing skills such as grammar, sentence structure, and word choice. Teens who are interested in pursuing creative writing as a career have the chance to practice by writing fictional stories on a blog. Let’s say this Star Wars fan makes a blog where they write fanfiction about it. After they post these stories, other users can give feedback to this writer so they know the pros and cons of their writing style. Plus, blogs like these provide good fanfiction to those who love to read it.

Another fitting example is YouTube. Some of the videos posted on it include gaming, Vine compilations, movie clips, music, fan edits, makeup tutorials, important news reports, and vlogs. When kids post videos of themselves singing, they get to creatively express themselves to the world (Bernstein). Since the entire world can view the videos on YouTube, many famous singers and bands have gotten their fame from them. Letting kids use social media like YouTube might land them into success into the future.

For introverted and shy adolescents, making friends can be one of the hardest things to do in high school. Almost everyone seems to be in a “clique” and the thought of finding out where one belongs can be intimidating. Social media can play a crucial role in initiating friendships because it eliminates the need to talk face-to-face (Metzler and Scheithauer). Sure, talking to people in real life is important, but knowing that you have a lot of time to respond helps with the awkwardness. It’s way less frightening to know that the person you are talking to can’t see your initial reactions or how you’re struggling to come up with words (Metzler and Scheithauer). When teens make friends on social media, they’ll probably be more confident in their ability to meet new people in real life (Metzler and Scheithauer).

One of the challenges of growing up and becoming a teenager is the lack of confidence. Teenagers tend to compare themselves to others and feel bad about themselves when they don’t like what they see in the mirror. Low self-esteem can be dangerous because it can cause kids to develop negative mindsets (Metzler and Scheithauer). It can also lead to depression and lack of sleep. On social media, a couple of the main features include comments and likes. If teens receive positive feedback from peers, it can boost their self-confidence (Metzler and Scheithauer). Receiving likes also shows the account owner that the followers appreciate the content being posted (Metzler and Scheithauer). Having a large number of followers/friends can make the account owner feel accepted and supported (Metzler and Scheithauer).

From personal experience, I can say that social media has more benefits than the ones listed above. Many of us teens are stuck in school for six to eight hours without a lot of communication with our friends. Social media provides a break from all of the schoolwork thrown onto us every day. Homework is very overwhelming for most kids because it seems like teachers don’t understand just how many classes we have. The amount of time spent doing homework each night can be anywhere from thirty minutes to four hours. After seven hours of school and two hours of homework, social media gives us the chance to sit down, relax, and see what our friends have been up to.

At times when I am in a bad mood, I like to log onto Instagram or YouTube. On there, I watch funny videos or scenes from my favorite movies and TV shows. Almost all of the time, my mood is brighter and more positive when I am finished. This is just one way that social media can brighten a teenager’s mood. Social media allows kids to look up content that suits their mood.

Although social media is a wonderful place with many benefits, there are still some drawbacks to it. Teenagers tend to stay up later at night than adults and children. As a result of this, they like to scroll through social media and see what everyone else is up to at the moment. Using a cell phone late at night can be extremely damaging to human eyes. The blue lights send a message to the brain that the person is still awake, interrupting their sleep. The use of social media at night will make teens lose sleep (“Social Media and Sleep”). This makes it difficult to focus during school and have enough energy to complete day-to-day tasks. Lack of sleep can also lead to mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety (“Social Media and Sleep”).

One of the hardest things a kid can go through is being bullied by their peers. Social media makes it very easy for teens to be bullied online (McBride). It can be done through messaging groups, commenting sections, and live streams. When multiple people gang up on one person, the victim often feels alone and that nobody is there to support them. This is generally not the case because bullies will say anything to hurt the victim’s feelings. Most kids feel as if they can’t talk to their parents about the bullying, so they will keep this information bottled up inside of them (McBride). Many social media websites have policies that are against bullying, but when it does happen, they hardly do anything to stop it. If these groups wish to take action against cyberbullying, they should keep their word and delete the accounts of the bullies.

With profile pictures and online friends comes catfishing. This is a method of pretending to be somebody you’re not on an online profile. It can be extremely dangerous for teenagers to talk with people they don’t know online because it’s possible that they’re being catfished. It’s even more dangerous if they end up meeting up because the catfish might have plans to hurt the teenager. There have been cases where teens have been catfished by middle-aged men who pretend to also be teenagers (Dawson). These men have forced kids into relationships and sex trafficking (Dawson). Parents need to be aware of online friendships and relationships to keep their kids/teens safe from harm (Dawson).

One of the features of a social media profile that users see first is the bio. A bio is pretty much a biography, a place to write a few things about yourself to let people get to know you. How much is written there depends from user to user. A common mistake among teenagers is sharing too much information about themselves to others (McBride). Lack of privacy can lead to private information in the hands of the wrong people. Friends can turn against one another and use what they posted against them. Another negative consequence of lack of privacy is ruining your own reputation: “Posting videos, photographs or messages that are inappropriate or affect someone's reputation can affect their ability to get into college or get jobs” (McBride). Let’s say that a teenager goes out to a part and posts about it on their social media. They get really drunk and feel the need to tell all of their followers about it. If this same teen ends up applying for a serious job in the future, the employers can look them up online and see how irresponsible they are (McBride).

Social media use has been a controversial topic over the past five years or so. People who grew up without tablets and phones are now seeing toddlers with a Snapchat account. It seems to be hard for these people to see that technology is advancing further than what they had. Just because something is different than how it was before does not make it bad.

On every social media website, the owners make a list of guidelines that the users need to follow. These regulations are established to ensure a high-quality experience for everyone. It’s up to the user whether or not they choose to obey them. If someone is abusing the guidelines, the only person who is at fault is themselves. The owners of the websites should remove the accounts of those who choose to make bad decisions on them. It’s not fair to take away something that’s enjoyable to multiple people just because a small number of them decided to misuse it.

It would be unfair to say that the benefits of social media are outweighed by the drawbacks. The way that one teen chooses to use it might be different from the way I choose to use it. I made myself two private accounts on Instagram: one for school acquaintances and online friends, the other for my closest real-life friends/people I trust the most. I share only a little bit of information about myself on the first and I share quite a bit of private information on the second. No one has ever tried to use private information against me. I have never gotten myself caught up in cyberbullying. I follow the policies of social media and make sure that I don’t make it an unpleasant experience for anyone else. Because of all these things, I don’t believe that the benefits of social media are outweighed by the drawbacks.

Social media is something that can’t be measured by its negative aspects because those disadvantages can change over time. What is a problem now might not be a problem in the future. Every disadvantage is something that can be fixed and worked on. To say everything is set in stone and can never be altered is a fixed mindset. The choices we make while using social media determine our outlook on it. If you choose to treat it well and use it correctly, only positive consequences will come out of it.

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Gets A Sad Backstory In Episodes 71-77

  It's time again for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! It's me, Carolyn Burke, and I'll be your host this week as we continue watching all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 64-70, and we continue this week with episodes 71-77. Let's get started!

  This batch gave us a lot of tragic backstory as we got a closer look at Gaara's sad origins and the possible reasons for some of his odd behaviors. Quite an emotional turn after all the fighting we saw last week. Of course, there were still plenty of scuffles to go around. We also got to see the Third Hokage in epic action and had tons of fun with a bugs versus puppets showdown. 

  Let's find out what the Crunchyroll Features team thought of this week's episodes!

    So, the obvious elephant in the room is Gaara. He's ... not OK. But it struck me that he's very much suffering from mental illness, probably depression/PTSD and possibly some kind of personality disorder, from a very young age. He even reaches out for help, acknowledging his lack of understanding of pain and empathy, only to have that backfire greatly. How do you feel about Gaara's villainy before and after this backstory revelation?

Paul: Although I feel pity for Gaara's horrific, abusive upbringing, I think the metaphors of his mistreatment break down a bit when you realize that the everyday citizens of Sand Village (as compared to the assassins sent by Gaara's father) have legitimate reasons to fear him. As a child, Gaara can't control his powers and when distressed he injures and kills people at random because he can't distinguish friend from foe. I feel sorry for Gaara, but if I lived in Sand Village I would also stay the hell away from him for my own safety and the safety of my family.

  Joseph: I dig Gaara's backstory, and while I agree the people of the Sand Village had good reason to fear him, it doesn't delegitimize it. If anything it makes it slightly more tragic.

  Danni: Yeah I don't quite gel with the mental illness reading either for the same reasons as Paul. I was however very impressed by his backstory. I had already guessed that he'd had a caretaker try to assassinate him a while ago, but it was still very heartbreaking to watch it play out.

  Kara: I mean, what happened very much affected him, and unsurprisingly so. If the last words of my one friend in the world were "Everyone hates you including me," I'd be messed up, too. I don't know how (or if) I'd class his reaction mental illness-wise, though. But yeah, it's a double-edged thing. I don't think people were wrong to fear him, but it sure did suck. I also think it's kind of neat how they peppered in things like him talking to the sand during his fight with Sasuke... which before was just weird, and now is something else entirely.

  Jared: Like the others have said, it kind of goes both ways. The regular people of the Sand Village had enough reason to fear him since he could get out of control with his powers. That being said, Gaara was surrounded by some exceptionally crappy people. Which makes the whole reveal of why he's become who he is today make more sense as no one was willing to offer him any help. I certainly feel more for his character than when he was initially introduced as the murder death kill kid.

  David: Gaara's story is basically "what if Naruto didn't have Iruka and also the Hokage wanted him dead," so I think it's ultimately more about the negative consequences of children left neglected and abused instead of mental illness. Still very tragic though.

  Noelle: It's tragic, but it's a dual thing—unlike Naruto who can't touch the nine-tails at all, Gaara's powers are constantly active and he has no control over them. He is legitimately dangerous and people fear him for a reason. That being said, that nobody, not even his own family, has attempted to reach out to him genuinely makes my heart hurt a lot.

    Similarly, what did you think about Naruto's realization about how close he could have come to following in Gaara's footsteps? I genuinely appreciate Naruto's ability to look on the bright side of everything and persevere in the face of terrible adversity.

Paul: I appreciate the parallels and I hope that this story-line eventually leads to Gaara's redemption, but I do wish Naruto didn't take so long to find his courage. Sakura defended Sasuke without hesitation armed with nothing but a kunai, after all.

  Joseph: I'm with Paul on this one. I like where they're going with the connection between the two, but at this point, Naruto needs to start acting more impulsively in these life or death situations. This batch of episodes has already been not-Naruto-centric enough as it is!

  Danni: I love it. Naruto's ability to relate to his enemies might be the most endearing thing about him to me. The conflict between him and Gaara is actually reminding me a lot of a recurring lesson in Mob Psycho 100 about how much our lives are shaped by those around us, so those blessed with good companions should be thankful for them and try to reach out to those without.

  Kara: Naruto's a lot better than I am. I've been in a few "there but for the grace of God" situations myself, where I can see someone else has the same baggage as me but lacked the support system I had to survive the situation intact. I think we've all been there, just not with demon foxes and sand moms, you know? I've gotta admire Naruto for counting his blessings positively instead of just sitting there going, "Yikes."

  Jared: As Danni said, it's real interesting seeing this play out with how Mob Psycho 100 is doing something very similar. I like that Naruto is able to recognize this and get why Gaara is the way he is since he just as easily could have turned out the same. It totally works with who he is. Although it was kind of funny seeing clips from the first few episodes and thinking "oh those episodes don't seem like they were that far back", except it was 70+ episodes ago.

  David: I've said it before, but things like this really do a lot of work in selling Naruto's slow growth toward being a believable leader figure, making his ultimate goal of becoming the Hokage thematically fitting instead of just kind of nebulous. I always seem to like it when it comes up.

  Noelle: I love the parallels, because it does ring true. Both of them internalized their pain in a different way, but what would have happened if Iruka wasn't around? People tend to give back to the world what the world gives them, and if Naruto didn't have a positive mindset or a support system, he definitely would've ended up way worse.

  Do you agree with Gaara's assessment that Sasuke is hard, cold, and hate-filled? He's pretty angsty, but I'd have to go with no, myself.

Paul: I think Gaara's correct in his assessment. Sasuke is driven by revenge and he's often contemptuous of others and overwhelmed by self-loathing, which are traits that I hope he will eventually leave behind. It's really just a matter of degree. If Sasuke's a six on the "hard, cold, and hate-filled" scale, then Gaara's an eleven.

  Joseph: Gaara nailed it. I haven't seen much from Sasuke in these early episodes to indicate otherwise.

  Danni: Oh, absolutely. He's changed bit by bit being around Sakura and Naruto, but he's still clearly driven by the desire to kill Itachi. I'm anxious to find out what downfall he suffers as a result, and I'm most disappointed by Kakashi, who seems to be encouraging it.

  Kara: I can't really say Gaara's wrong. A few of our protagonists, starting with Naruto, have sort of back-burnered (but not abandoned) their specific goals in favor of learning and practicing their "Way of the Ninja"—which is a theme I love whenever it comes up. Sasuke is still stuck in his Season 1 Episode 1 motivation while others are growing and maturing. He's good at what he does, but I feel like that one-track mind is gonna get him in trouble.

  Jared: I wouldn't say he's necessarily as fueled by it as Gaara is where it's basically his entire existence of living, but Sasuke can get up there with his desire for revenge. Again, I think it works because we see just how much of a parallel he has with Gaara, without the two of them being identical. Sasuke's been helped by being paired with Naruto and Sakura, but it hasn't necessarily quelled his intentions either.

  David: Gaara is right but I'm not sure he really understands why. Sasuke is like an inverse Gaara—where Gaara lashes out against the world in its entirety, Sasuke is so filled with anger toward one person that he is numb to the rest of the world. As said it keeps him from really growing as a person, and from even recognizing that there are people who care about him at all. His assessment is ultimately on-point to me.

  Noelle: I'd say Gaara is pretty spot-on. While Sasuke has come some ways in finding comrades, his entire motivation for being is still revenge. That eats away at you, whether you like it or not.

  Let's lighten up the mood, shall we? We previously mentioned, almost unanimously, how awesome the bug jutsu is. What did you all think about the bug fight scenes and how effective they are as trackers?

  Paul: I was honestly expecting something a little flashier from Ino's Chakra-devouring insect ninjutsu, but maybe it just appears a bit tame when compared to the visual lunacy of Kankuro's freaky puppet antics.

  Joseph: I really enjoyed this fight, but that's a no-brainer because it had two things I love to watch: puppets and bugs. Pitting the two against one another is MUAH. I don't know that it's a totally awesome jutsu, but I like how creative Kishimoto gets with its implementation.

  Danni: I never said it was awesome, only that it was powerful. I cannot stand bugs. The most terrifying thing that could ever happen to me is being swarmed by bugs. They are a near unstoppable jutsu because their existence is so terrifying.

  Kara: One of my favorite things about Naruto is everyone's creativity. They learn these basic tactics and have their own styles, but it all comes down to adapting to your opponent and surroundings. I also like a fight where the zinger comes at the end: We've been focused on what's going on in front of us, meanwhile, something was planted waaaaay earlier and is just now becoming relevant. Puppet vs. bug is not a fight I thought I'd enjoy, but I admit to being wrong.

  Jared: Getting devoured by bugs is like nightmare fuel for me, although that whole fight was coming up with clever ways to utilize them without it just being here's a swarm. I actually thought what was most interesting about that fight was the respect Kankuro and Shino give each other near the end where they're just impressed with the other's technique.

  David: In the grand scheme of things it wasn't really an all-time highlight, but I certainly did appreciate getting a more traditional "weird tactics Naruto fight" out of this batch of otherwise huge-power battles.

  Noelle: Action-wise, it isn't the greatest, but can an insect lover like me ever say no to this kind of stuff? Of course not. I had a blast.

      Good segue here, I've been noticing a lot of interesting directorial decisions. I particularly liked the shot of the bugs crawling out of Shino's jacket and up his face. Any moments like this for you all?

  Paul: I don't know if it counts as a directorial flourish, but I really enjoyed the torturous look of the Soul-Sealing Jutsu that the Third Hokage breaks out for his fight with Gaara. I also liked how Monkey King Enma in staff form would change not just length but also width and thickness during the fight scenes, which feels more authentic to his Journey to the West roots. That must have been a real challenge for the animators.

  Joseph: The fight between Orochimaru and the Third Hokage was absolutely overflowing with top-notch directorial decisions. One shot that really stood out to me is simple at a glance, but I loved the angle chosen when the resurrected Hokages step toward the third and walk over their own coffins. Some really stylish visuals in the first three or so episodes here.

  Danni: A decision that stuck out the most to me was keeping everything in the Third Hokage's perspective once the darkness jutsu had been activated. From the moment it was activated to the moment it was released we didn't see a single moment of that fight from outside his perspective.

  Kara: A little thing I loved. In Gaara's flashback, when his whole situation fell apart and he realized he'd been lied to by the one person he cared about. The whole "glass shattering" motif is a common one for moments like this, yeah, but in Gaara's case it was reminiscent of when his Sand Armor shatters—that last little layer of protected he has.

  Jared: The utilization of cinematic bars on Gaara seeing himself and his mom turn to sand was an interesting touch that I can't tell if it was more to make it seem more serious or set itself apart from the flashback. I also dug in Naruto's remembrance when he tries to look at his reflection and sees Gaara staring back, but headbutts what he's looking at and it returns to him with a shattered mirror and blood trickling down his face.

  David: The animation in the first episode of this batch is so loose and fluid, really a joy to watch. I was very glad they finally gave a lavishly animated fight scene to a character that isn't Sasuke.

  Noelle: As others have said, the Orochimaru vs Third Hokage fight really had some massively good animation direction. It's the first time we see something where we know how much power is involved, and that nails it.

    And just in general, what were your highs and lows week?

  Paul: The high point for me was the fight between the Third Hokage and the zombie resurrections of the First Hokage and the Second Hokage. The special effects animators really pulled out all of the stops there, and all of the elemental magic was especially impressive for something created within the constraints of TV animation. My low point was Naruto falling prey to Gaara's intimidation for so long; I like Naruto better when he takes bold, confident, heroic action, even if that means he ends up boasting or biting off more than he can chew.

  Joseph: My high point was also the Hokage battle. The animation is through the roof here, and it was just a creative and exciting battle all around, befitting of its subject matter. Low point would be Gaara's transformation. It may look cool on the page when Kishimoto draws it but it looks really bad in the show, with his Boglin-lookin' ass.

  Danni: The high point for me was definitely the Third Hokage's fight. The animation was fluid without being overly flashy. I enjoy flashy animation, but I really loved the simple fluidity of that fight. My low point would also have to be Gaara's transformation. Its full form looks alright, but the partial form just looks a bit goofy.

  Kara: Agreeing with all of the above. The Hokage battle is so cool. For a while, we never really saw the Third Hokage as anything but the dude in charge who sometimes hands down uncomfortable news, but he is the Hokage. And one thing I've learned from anime and action movies is old dudes get old for a reason; I figured he was no slouch even now. And yeah, to echo everyone else, I could not take Gaara's transformation seriously. I need to check out the manga and see how it looked there.

  Jared: The Hokage battle was real rad, especially getting to see the upper echelon of techniques and jutsu that we haven't seen before. I also enjoyed how they were able to give everything that was happening a good amount of time by switching back and forth between the Hokage battle, the hunt and eventual fight with Gaara, and what's happening in Leaf Village. It was a lot. Low point was as with everyone else, Gaara's transformed state. Hopefully, it looks more intimidating in the manga and not like a flesh blob as he does here.

  David: Adding one to the pile of appreciation for the Hokage Rumble. Low point is on the other end of the episodes, the kaiju battle between Gaara and Naruto. Everything just looks and feels so silly, and at the same time the scale of everything has escalated so quickly (literally and figuratively I guess). It's just jarring really.

  Noelle: Third Hokage vs Orochimaru and the zombie Hokages were just so good. I didn't enjoy it as much in the manga, surprisingly, but here it was stellar. Inversely, I really liked Gaara's slow monstrous transformation in the manga, but in the anime ... it looks cheesy, I'll say that.

    COUNTERS:

"I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 0 (23 total) Bowls of ramen consumed: 1 bowl (30 bowls, 3 cups total) Shadow Clones created: 16 (274 total)

  And that's it for this week, folks! Feel free welcome to join us for this rewatch, any time. Especially if you haven't already watched the original Naruto!

  Here's our upcoming schedule:

-Next week, on APRIL 5th CAYLA COATS takes the reigns for EPISODES 78-84 as we meet a mysterious new stranger.

-Then, on APRIL 12th NOELLE OGAWA will take a turn at the wheel for EPISODES 85-91.

-On APRIL 19th NICOLE MEJIAS will walk us through the legendary Sannin battle in EPISODES 92-98.

  Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

  Have a question for next week's batch of Episodes 78-84? Drop it in the comments and you might find your answer in next week's installment!

----

  Carolyn also writes for Bunny Ears and Cracked. Follow her on Instagram or Twitter.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com