#one day I shall Understand it
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Just finished OFF
#off#still a good game though#just can’t really piece together what it was going for#one of the most horrifying moments in video games though so kudos#one day I shall Understand it
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“i’m really glad to appreciate harding a lot more on my replay,” says absolute fucking idiot who knows how the game ends, “it’s nice to bring her around more, and actually feel like she and my rook are close and rely on each other. this will have no emotional consequences for me later”
#veilguard spoilers#ANYWAY!#doing the first little kal sharok trip shortly#i feel like i should bring taash to try and understand that dynamic more but it’s davrin i rlly want for the roads#and i think i will indulge#*kal sharok outpost not kal sharok. one day i shall see thy streets
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i tend to talk a lot about the realistic nature of the witcher, its "realistic fantasy," "brutal realism," its references to political realities and inspirations taken from history, and that is all very important to it.
but... i also want to take a moment to say that the witcher, as a tragedy, also fills me with a hope... that such love, such beautiful families and friendships can exist, even if they differ too much to survive in the end. the idea that the beauty and purity of that love even exists at all, in such a fucked up world, despite it and sometimes existing in the very middle of it, is also what makes it realistic. hope is realistic. love is realistic.
#because it is also their love which dooms them in the end.#the close sense of understanding and BELONGING i hope to truly know one day#yennefer kills herself wretchedly trying to save (resurrect) geralt. because she loved him. like in a fairy tale.#the hanza all die out of love for each other and for ciri and for geralt#and it is out of nimue's love for the legend that we know its true ending#only out of her devotion to it was its ending found.#hm... only those who seek shall find.#what did sapkowski say about her... she is separated from the legend by time but her love connects her with it#the elbow-high diaries#the witcher books
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A little clarification on how Neuvillette addresses Furina in her story quest—in English it's rendered as "Miss Furina," and shortly after "Lady Furina," implying he uses a different honorific each time.
However, in both these lines Neuvillette actually uses 女士/nǚshì, the same way he has always addressed Furina in the past, barring the instances where he only uses her name, which he only does in private and generally not to her face.
When Furina asks the NPCs in the quest to stop calling her "Lady Furina," they switch from 大人/dàrén to calling her 女士/nǚshì/Miss Furina. Previously Neuvillette was the only character who called her that. When he did, it was always rendered in English as "Lady Furina," the same as the other more reverent honorific.
So no actual change between them in this regard, just the translation team finding themselves in a bit of a bind over how to translate it going forward where the two are concerned!
#furina#neuvillette#genshin impact#neuvifuri#focallette#this isn't really meant as a ship post unlike my usual fare but since it's of interest i shall tag anyways. anyone is welcome to enjoy.#you really gotta check the chinese to parse exactly how furina is addressed cos idt any of the other languages catch all the nuances of it#ex. japanese has both neuvillette and the knave calling furina 'dono' when the knave uses a different term from nv in chinese (xiaojie)#i dont claim to speak the language nor fully understand the implications of each honorific but even just knowing where there's a difference#is very enlightening. one of these days i'll finish up the draft i have compiling how each character addresses furina#i haven't checked the act v dialogue to see how neuvillette addresses furina there btw. all in good time.#genshin impact spoilers#furina story quest spoilers
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Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:
#I'll delete this later i just want to talk about it :3#not featured: WHY Piston is pulling a [REDACTED] on their sire#rubbing my hands together like a fly ooooooh do i have some angst in the works for you guys i just don't have a perspective tool rl#Okay i had the idea of a cute Bumblebee and Breakdown in cowboy hats with a bonus piston but then i had an Idea#yes that but then follow up later when its time to pick a side piston does a cowboy accent very sadly like they have to pretend its not real#the REASON is s3 bee and break fighting in the dome and bee lost on his back with Break towering above him with a [REDACTED] pointed at him#and Piston is beating on the glass WAILING for them to stop#but the view point is slightly behind breaks so he's HUGE and bee is small and Piston is even smaller in the foreground#they stop fighting but Piston can not forgive their sire for that Piston took after Breaks they were thick as thieves but no no#they saw the look in his eye the fear in bee and he only stopped bc shockwave called him off yes he was hesitating to pull and shaking#like a leaf knowing he was being used like a rabid dog to take down the autobot he has to pretend to hate but Piston will always wonder#if he'd do it and they can't decide and it eats them alive but that's their carrier and forgiveness is not cheap#bumblebee does what he can to talk Piston down its just business he didn't really mean it they ve had centuries of faking it but Piston#oh sweet Piston childish days are over their spark has been hardened#they arent on a path of violence or vengeance but when breaks seeks them out “come with me we can be a real family on cybertron ”#piston says “we already were”#and later later we land on the So i guess that's it....i guess so.... you best get on out of here then#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#does piston ever forgive? no but they understand things kinda get better but it's different now#i think they're scared that they'll end up like breaks bc they're so much like him they looked up to him and loved him so much#and now they know they have the capacity to do something like that and be used like that and they're scared#just so so so SO scared and it bothers them breaks was forced into it and they just want to SCREAM#they just want to run away with their parents away from the war where no one can bother them and live quietly#transformers#maccadam#transformers oc#tf piston#worry not i shall draw these once I'm home#but i have a laundry list of other things i want to draw first
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"That's your prize, that's your prize," and its just eternal youth and a lifetimes worth of loneliness, nightmares, and regret.
Hey, so...y'all remember when this song was trending everywhere on TikTok a hot minute ago and everyone knew it? ...yeah, haha...I made this then. Why am I posting it now, and on here, you ask? Cause I leave things in my drafts and get so busy with work and writing that I forget about them until weeks, or even sometimes months, later, and I missed my opportunity to make Fable famous on tt again, so i figured you guys could enjoy the rotten fruits of my expired labour. Anyway, like I said, this is outdated asf, but I was genuinely proud of it and think it ended up looking pretty cool, and I still think of Reaver every time I hear the song, so hopefully yall will forgive me for my appalling transgressions and enjoy my first real exploit into digital collages lmaoo.
#fable#fable 2#fable 3#fable reaver#yes#ik this trend is outdated#and yes there was originally plans to post this on tt during the songs prime#but work got in the way ok?#not everyone can make tacos like i can#lmfaooo#but no#i fear my love and obsession with oakvale reaver and how he affects reaver to this day shall never die#his trauma is so important to me i need yall to understand this#i have more collages if this one ends up doing well#we'll see lmaoo
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽`)
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#pranabefall#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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Wip.
#its been days ever since i posted#but please understand that I've been having hard time finishing this illustration with one hand :((#obey me#obey me barbatos#barbatos brainrot#obey me nightbringer#omswd#obey me shall we date
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Watched "Badhaai Do" today. I should've watched this in theatres ahhhh. Great characters. Good direction. Amazing Cast. Chill Soundtrack. An Indian Queer Movie that melted my heart. I feel so warm rn (maybe the climate is contributing to this as well) I don't know how many queer people in India get their fairytale ending (probably not many). But I hope every queer person stays happy and hopeful. This movie was one of the best things i've seen in a while. I laughed, cried and vibed :)
#desiblr#badhaai do#desi tumblr#desi movies#i don't remember the last time i watched a queer movie whose lines i could relate to#when you're in engineering college you don't really talk to people about ANYTHING lgbtq#when most of the people you know don't feel/understand/care about queerness -> they'll think of it as a westernized disease#i'm around conservative people 85% time so tumblr is one of the only safe spaces i can show my love for this movie#all i can say is that this movie has my heart#i cried at the end ahhhhhhh#i think i'm still sniffling a bit#loveislove#queer love#all kinds of love are valid#i hope india is a safe place for queer people one day#till then...we shall pray
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AAAAAA, OKAY-- @persephone-s-moon I could not find their updated refs for the life of me, so, woe, busted old concept art be upon ye. (Excuse the wonky proportions, these were done on my phone.)
Shortest rundown I can manage:
Did someone order a tragic throuple with time-travel/reincarnation shenanigans and a side of hurt/comfort/fluff?
Candavata Bhatia: Elven queen, from the kingdom of Sona, and the baddest bitch to ever live. In order to prove herself worthy of holding the crown over her sisters, she needed to channel one of the gods. So, not only did she channel one, she called upon Bijalee, the embodiment of lightning and storms--and the most difficult one to channel due to her wild and hazardous nature. She has been the only person to do so, aside from the First Queen. This earned her the titles of Storm Bringer and Lightning Tamer. She and Qamar are married and have been best friends since childhood. Can you tell I love her?
(Side note: Editing this on my laptop and holy ashy tone, Batman. Hoping it's just my screen because my girl does NOT look like this, I promise--)
Qamar Abn awaa: Werejackal prince, devout cleric of Layl, goddess of the night and medicine, and the definition of the "I'm a healer, but--" meme. He managed to show both great power and promise from an early age when, during a political visit to the Sona royal court, he used his knowledge of anatomy to turn one of Candavata's would-be assassins inside out. This is where he and Candi's marriage was arranged. He is of a generally very sunny disposition, which often makes people underestimate him, as they assume he's useless in serious situations--but, when shit hits the fan, he's the one you want to be next to. (I started designing him when I did not understand how to map out locs or braids. Qamar, my prince, I am so sorry, I swear I will do right by you and fix whatever monstrosity I gave you.)
Vincenzo Virago: Vampire duke. The intersection of an emotionally constipated killing machine and massive nerd failure. He's head over heels for both Candi and Qamar, but he doesn't feel like he can tell them, due to the fact that he views himself as unlovable, both wanting and growing jealous of them. (He is completely oblivious to the fact that they are also in love with him.) He's terrified of turning into his father, but it seems like everything he does only turns him further down that path. He's a warlord. He's a wet cat. He needs therapy.
It's a stable, constant dynamic. You never see one without the other. Where Qamar goes, Candi is right beside him, and Vince is right behind them. Whenever something goes wrong, usually they're at the center of it, all having different roles in the trouble. Candi, the planner, Qamar, the keen lookout, and Vince, the instigator. He keeps the two of them grounded, on their toes, and they do what they can to keep him away from his father. Even after they graduate and take their places in their respective castes, they stay in touch.
The story itself begins at the worst part of their relationship.
At this point, Candavata and Qamar have been married and are tending to their responsibilities as king and queen of their joined empire. Though they try to stay in touch with Vincenzo, it's difficult--and Vince doesn't make it easy, either. Over the years, he becomes withdrawn. He stops answering their letters, he refuses to see them when they come in person, every time. After a while, they stop trying. Not because they don't love him, they do, but there's only so much you can do when a person doesn't want (or doesn't think they deserve) help.
Vincenzo, after years of sitting with the jealousy and battling his father's horrendous treatment, broke. He didn't just spiral, he nose-dived, doubling down on every bit of gossip and rumor, until he's changed and warped into something even he can't recognize. He shuts out Candi and Qamar. Maybe he doesn't want to taint them, maybe he thinks this is how it was meant to go, maybe he can't stand their gentle hands or the pitying look in their eyes. Maybe he just wants the excuse. Whatever it is, Vincenzo becomes a monster, with blood on his hands.
In the end, Candi and Qamar had to be the ones to put him down.
Which is where we get into the time/reincarnation fuckery.
Because, when the pain fades and Vincenzo opens his eyes, expecting to see whatever eternal damnation looks like, he sees his university bedroom. Littered with textbooks and letters from Candi and Qamar, and his graduation robes hanging on the back of the door.
He's got a second chance to go back and unfuck everything, but only time will tell if he'll succeed or end up exactly where he was before.
Something, something, breaking cycles and being open with your loved ones, allowing yourself to be loved by others and yourself, and sometimes men are at their best covered in blood and a little bit pathetic.
(Oh, and, you want a really fun fact? Vince isn't the only one who remembers the original timeline.)
#literally so nervous to share this--usually my concept art never sees the light of day beyond a discord server#but I promised polycule lore and polycule lore you shall have#*holds gently*#they're my favorite couple I've made next to Anna and Gabriel#whose story I could literally fill the library of Congress with#there's so much more I want to add but this post is already getting long#oh and in case you were wondering#Candi is the one with the brain cell most of the time#Qamar has it second and Vince... well he tries#also Qamar is transmasc and basically did most of his HRT on his own#like he created his own regiment with his own magic from scratch#same with his bottom surgery--in fact he actually published a thesis on his own technique to be shared with other doctors#which is a whole process I can get into on another post#he's like Dr. Jekyll in that he practices his experiments on himself and doesn't involve other people because he understands consequences#and wouldn't potentially do irreversible harm to other people for “the betterment of the science”#and would also punch Victor Frankenstein in the jaw#which I could also get into on another post#(he literally dropped out of college! he doesn't have a doctorate! he abandoned his creation due to his own fuck up regarding it!)#anyway#vampire#Werejackal
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Stephen Maturin gender thoughts…
#one day I shall articulate them#my blather#fully my ‘why does no one understand the truth?’ hc with basically no basis in canon
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I have to let you know that I appreciate your blog for being one of the few that talks about the 5th Doctor's era at all, but also for making me genuinely want to check out said era for the sake of Adric.
AHHHHVDJSKABSMSK oh my gosh thank you!! Definitely do go enjoy, I love the fifth doctor's era he's a deceptively tragic little fella. There are quite a few really great classic who/5th dr blogs, if you don't already know them check them out: @englandhatepage @corvid-ae @timelordian-disaster-126 @fivebroken @visgae @fivenyssateganadric and tons more!!
Adric genuinely is one of my favourite characters, not just in who but of all time, and as someone who struggles w empathy, not only do I relate HARD, but he's one of the only characters that still reliably makes me recreate this at 3am thinking way too hard about him
he's such a great little guy and I love overanalysing every single little thing to do with him, he's a bitchy teenage boy who's a genius and thinks that makes him an authority on everything but also he's desperately insecure, loyal to a fault, cares so so much and just wants a place to feel loved and where he belongs and him and the 5th doctor are so alike it literally drives me insaneeee
Thank you again for this ask it really brightened up my day!!
#I'm super sick rn so this was really sweet to get in my inbox#maybe one day I shall be able to make a coherent post about adric#and yet alas another day goes by where all I can summon up is vague snarling noises followed by tears and gesturing emohatically at him#cause just look at him!!!! see him and you will understand!!!#adric of alzarius#adric#classic who#fifth doctor#asks
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
#lizzy speaks#hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023#but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me#so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s#it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything#and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are#all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it#for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet'#and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient-#kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an-#instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.'#like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space#and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i#some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues-#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol#but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard-#of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works#i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.#in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive'#but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity'#...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people!#who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish!#thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories!#and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more#it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly!#ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves#as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like#wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!
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.
#i was so proud yesterday to have managed my panic attack on my own.#i thought i also had managed to do the right thing but turns out it wasn't the best thing i could have done.#today is trying to get rid of the feeling that life is.#im afraid of going home because i feel like i have stepped back so much. that im a weight. that it's annoying that people have to bear wit#all that of me#im sorry... im sorry. i don't have more answers. sometimes someone tell you they have a bad day and you ask them why and your friend will#just tell you. ''idk. im sad today and depressed''. and it's just that. i think. is it justme?#i feel like such a waste#i thought i had had a good breakthrough w my psychiatrist; trying to go with that sensitivity. but turns out im still. it doesnt change the#fact that its stupid and beyond understanding. sigh.#my life is not running away my life is not running away. it feels like it but it doesnt. this too shall pass this too shall pass#stuff that's been built won"t just waste away. everyone has something going on it's called life#i know i have to tell myself it's all in my head. and i am. but. but. but. im still scared#(therapist voice: what purpose is this fear serving? loved one being angry or annoyed at me. are they? it seems like it.) (i am loved this#oo shall pass)#(mantra)#dni dnid dni
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#RIP to the legacy post editor. you will be missed. while queueing this post and the last one it's removed the option for me to switch to the#old one and is making me use the new one. which is like not bad. it's not a bad editor. i just don't like change as most tumblr users don't#it also just appends the post you make directly to the top of the currently-displayed posts behind it even if it's not meant to go there#which is a little bit scary when i'm on the queue page and i click “add to queue” for a post that's supposed to go up on august 18th#to see it immediately appear above mega metagross. the legacy post editor didn't do that. it made you refresh the page if you wanted to see#your own new post on the dashboard. which i think was better!! honestly!! i've never Made a post using the new editor to see how it behaves#only ever queued up FFP using this thang. but that's also bc i feel like i don't post very much. i need smth Interesting to say when i post#on my main blog i mean. i don't make extraneous posts on here (usually) unless i'm answering an ask or something. which. still have yet to#miss one to this day. going strong#bibarel#can you tell idk what to say about this guy. what are they‚ water-type? big chance i'm fucking wrong and they're just pure normal#OKAY i was right. normal/water. semi-interesting typing and i get why they're a water-type. but. i never use. bibarel. even as a kid who#didn't understand or care about competitive. i knew bibarel was not very strong. it's a route 1 normal-type fucker. and maybe it's like#better than i think or something but tbqh it's a sinnoh 'mon and i already have another sinnoh water-type that has my heart. buizel#so bibarel was not so much in the cards for me. bro i should do like. a mono-type run of a pokémon game one day. that would be fu#do folks do that? is that a challenge run that actually exists? nuzlockes exist so i don't see why not. okay i'm doing it. my next replay o#any pokémon game is hereby decreed to be a water-type mono-type run. i may or may not liveblog it on my main blog#and it may or may not be nuzlocke. we shall see#hell maybe i'll stream it. maybe that could be fun. i don't know of *anyone* who would be interested in that but it tends to help me#actually go about completing games when i have someone there like. waiting for me to do so
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did anyone else grieve and worry this year
#1 runaway close friend/roommate who went to the psych ward 1 close friend/mentor who killed herself 1 best friend who lost his mind#(the latter two also went to the psych ward. 2024 shall be the year of my friends all being institutionalized)#those were the 3 big ones but my grandma also got deathly ill and my mom got meaner after that. understandably so#hooked up with only 1 girl and she moved back to florida permanently and my other situationship moved back to D.C.#i uhhhhh got rejected by every job and internship i applied to this year and had to go back to the shitty bakery i worked at when i was 16#got mcr tickets but cost way too much and had to sell them. still plan on re-buying them but idfk that was a low point somehow#started smoking heavily this year which is embarassing. but what's fun is i learned the value of partying and more importantly drinking#there was trump also but! there was brat summer too. there was personal losses and there was sweat tour and chappell roan. so#like. i got to obsess over 3 good TV shows (hannibal house md always sunny) and i drank a lot of vodka and went to so many parties#at the end of the day! who needs alive and stable best friends! who needs an internship! i have hedonism and alcohol induced memory loss <3
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