#literally so nervous to share this--usually my concept art never sees the light of day beyond a discord server

[whiteredrose13]

AAAAAA, OKAY-- @persephone-s-moon I could not find their updated refs for the life of me, so, woe, busted old concept art be upon ye. (Excuse the wonky proportions, these were done on my phone.)

Shortest rundown I can manage:

Did someone order a tragic throuple with time-travel/reincarnation shenanigans and a side of hurt/comfort/fluff?

Candavata Bhatia: Elven queen, from the kingdom of Sona, and the baddest bitch to ever live. In order to prove herself worthy of holding the crown over her sisters, she needed to channel one of the gods. So, not only did she channel one, she called upon Bijalee, the embodiment of lightning and storms--and the most difficult one to channel due to her wild and hazardous nature. She has been the only person to do so, aside from the First Queen. This earned her the titles of Storm Bringer and Lightning Tamer. She and Qamar are married and have been best friends since childhood. Can you tell I love her?

(Side note: Editing this on my laptop and holy ashy tone, Batman. Hoping it's just my screen because my girl does NOT look like this, I promise--)

Qamar Abn awaa: Werejackal prince, devout cleric of Layl, goddess of the night and medicine, and the definition of the "I'm a healer, but--" meme. He managed to show both great power and promise from an early age when, during a political visit to the Sona royal court, he used his knowledge of anatomy to turn one of Candavata's would-be assassins inside out. This is where he and Candi's marriage was arranged. He is of a generally very sunny disposition, which often makes people underestimate him, as they assume he's useless in serious situations--but, when shit hits the fan, he's the one you want to be next to. (I started designing him when I did not understand how to map out locs or braids. Qamar, my prince, I am so sorry, I swear I will do right by you and fix whatever monstrosity I gave you.)

Vincenzo Virago: Vampire duke. The intersection of an emotionally constipated killing machine and massive nerd failure. He's head over heels for both Candi and Qamar, but he doesn't feel like he can tell them, due to the fact that he views himself as unlovable, both wanting and growing jealous of them. (He is completely oblivious to the fact that they are also in love with him.) He's terrified of turning into his father, but it seems like everything he does only turns him further down that path. He's a warlord. He's a wet cat. He needs therapy.

It's a stable, constant dynamic. You never see one without the other. Where Qamar goes, Candi is right beside him, and Vince is right behind them. Whenever something goes wrong, usually they're at the center of it, all having different roles in the trouble. Candi, the planner, Qamar, the keen lookout, and Vince, the instigator. He keeps the two of them grounded, on their toes, and they do what they can to keep him away from his father. Even after they graduate and take their places in their respective castes, they stay in touch.

The story itself begins at the worst part of their relationship.

At this point, Candavata and Qamar have been married and are tending to their responsibilities as king and queen of their joined empire. Though they try to stay in touch with Vincenzo, it's difficult--and Vince doesn't make it easy, either. Over the years, he becomes withdrawn. He stops answering their letters, he refuses to see them when they come in person, every time. After a while, they stop trying. Not because they don't love him, they do, but there's only so much you can do when a person doesn't want (or doesn't think they deserve) help.

Vincenzo, after years of sitting with the jealousy and battling his father's horrendous treatment, broke. He didn't just spiral, he nose-dived, doubling down on every bit of gossip and rumor, until he's changed and warped into something even he can't recognize. He shuts out Candi and Qamar. Maybe he doesn't want to taint them, maybe he thinks this is how it was meant to go, maybe he can't stand their gentle hands or the pitying look in their eyes. Maybe he just wants the excuse. Whatever it is, Vincenzo becomes a monster, with blood on his hands.

In the end, Candi and Qamar had to be the ones to put him down.

Which is where we get into the time/reincarnation fuckery.

Because, when the pain fades and Vincenzo opens his eyes, expecting to see whatever eternal damnation looks like, he sees his university bedroom. Littered with textbooks and letters from Candi and Qamar, and his graduation robes hanging on the back of the door.

He's got a second chance to go back and unfuck everything, but only time will tell if he'll succeed or end up exactly where he was before.

Something, something, breaking cycles and being open with your loved ones, allowing yourself to be loved by others and yourself, and sometimes men are at their best covered in blood and a little bit pathetic.

(Oh, and, you want a really fun fact? Vince isn't the only one who remembers the original timeline.)

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Destiny of the Damned

Part 1- Roman Godfrey

Chapter 1- nosebleed

I never thought I'd miss traffic and noise. In California, something is always happening, and traffic is just a fact of life. When I had to move out to help my uncle, who lives outside of Hemlock Grove Pennsylvania to say it was a culture shock was an understatement. Everything closed early and I think they’d have to schedule a traffic jam or someone would need to get murdered on the main roads. After about a month, you figure out who everyone is. Small town life is bizarre. I went to eat at a local diner, and a police officer was eating there as well, looking out the window and makes a call. I’m in the next booth, so I can’t help but overhear him call someone that had just run the stop sign, and told them to come pick up their tocket at the station later. I always took the energy and anonymity giant metropolitan areas like Los Angeles or San Francisco for granted. It never even occured to me there were places where there were no malls, airports, freeways or parking fees. I’ve been here for a little over 2 months, and I am literally the only Mercedes Benz S-Class I’ve seen. In order to reach civilization and acceptable fashion retail, you had to go on a full on road trip. My uncle was the closest thing I had to a parent, so I was willing to tough it out for him. He had fallen down his concrete basement stairs, and fractured his neck a hands. He is very independant and stubborn and needed assistance until he healed from the multiple surgeries he’s had to endure, to get his hands working correctly again. His home is a famous work of art, more than a place to actually occupy, so strangers coming to stay there, and touch his stuff, damn near got him catching a charge. I just finished University and was an executive for my Uncles’ multi billion dollar corporation but realistically, we could take the rest of our lives off, and be fine. But we are both workaholic innovators that share the same miraculous quirk. We have autobiographical memories which means we don't forget anything. Want to know what the date, temperature, things I did, who I was with the first time I heard a particular song? I can tell you. It's a blessing and a curse. Everything is a trigger for memories for me and my Uncle. So although his desire for isolation and little contact is extreme, I get it. Having a brain that doesn't stop can be exhausting and stressful.

Books help, so when I turned the corner, and spotted a Barnes and Noble, I actually squealed in excitement. I pulled up and looked a little out of place, but i didnt care. My car was understated, low profile, over the top. With its clear panoramic sunroof,  technology, and ambiance lighting, id always kid with my uncle that i needed it for my mental health. Really, I was terribly spoiled,  yet I appreciated it and never tried to rub it anyone's face, but I understood a young woman exiting a very expensive car, in a small town, that lived in the strange house with her reclusive billionaire Uncle, wasn't going to have anyone baking me pies. I was a realist.

I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer size of this store. inside there was a shockingly large lego display and it reminded me of how much i used to love assembling complicated structures, while most girls played wth dolls. While most little girls wanted to play with dollies and imagine scenarios about their wedding day, I was trying to improve my laptops performance (catching a few on fire in my early years). The dynamics and emotionality of people never held any value really. It was what truly always puzzled me. Losing oneself in another person, or the entire concept of love, seemed so unlikely. Far too many factors involved, and why anyone compromises when they can just do as they please by themselves only makes sense in situations like with my Uncle. It was still inconvenient, so getting close to people has never been appealing, but the legos we're.

I walked over and spotted a gigantic Death Star set and clapped in delight. I thought I heard a low chuckle behind me, so I spun around to find the best looking man I'd ever seen, dressed in a very nice suit. He didnt waver or look away when i looked at him, and almost looked as though he were daring me to look away. Most people would find him intimidating, but nothing really made me nervous so he didnt phase me.

"What's funny?" I asked looking him dead in the eye.

"You." He smirked.

"Glad to oblige you" i said sarcastically as I did a half hearted bow, then standing straight with a smirk. Who did he think he was? Green eyed, puffy lipped punk. I didn't break eye contact which usually caused people to look away by now, but To my surprise he laughed and looked me up and down. Assessed me like i was livestock; sizing me up and trying to decide if he could break me.

"I'm Roman."

"I'm American." I replied.

"No my name is Roman." He laughed heartily. An amused twinkle in his eye.

I couldn't help but notice he really had the best smile, and I really have a thing for noses, and his was divine.  if you think about it, its the most important facial feature. A nose can make or break a face, and his cute little slightly upturned nose, with its perfect symmetry was for sure making his face. combine that with his gorgeous green eyes, long lashes, defined bone structure, alabaster skin and standing at least 6′3″ he must be one of the biggest pains in the asses, this side of the Mississippi! Most women would see him and be all in but having a gorgeous man that exudes sexuality and is very sure of himself is far more trouble then anyone could ever be worth.

Why pretty boy wanted to trade names, probably had nothing to do with me, and much more to do with boredom, or what he could get out of me. I usually don't pay much attention to anyone of the opposite sex, especially obvious pains in the ass like the man before me, but something about him, was preventing me from just turning around and blowing him off.

"Generally when I tell someone my name, they tell me their own." He said staring into my eyes with such an intensity that I reacted almost involuntarily.

I have a defect. If someone tries to tell me what to do or control me, I am not fucking having it. Authority has always been an issue, and this felt a lot like him trying to dominate me, and I felt almost sick. Like when you stand up too fast and get a bit woozy. I took that as a good time to turn my back on him and ignore him.

He walked in front of me, blocking my view of the legos and ducked down a bit to make eye contact. I couldnt hide the complete shock on my face at his behavior.  He's either crazy or incredibly confident. I raised my eyebrows as if to say "can i help you" and I know my face was absolutely unfriendly, yet he didn't appear to notice.

His face hardened "tell me. Your. Name." He said slowly and deliberately.

Now it was my turn to laugh. I looked at him to see the smile or just kiddding , but it never came... WOW. He was serious!!! I leaned my face a couple inches from his face and I said "Nope" making sure to loudly pop the p.

The look on his face was absolutely priceless, and had my laughing enough that several people were starting. just as I was about to walk away victorious, his nose began to bleed. I instantly was embarrassed for him and I couldnt just leave him here to bleed on the legos so I jumped into action.

"Oh shit, your nose is bleeding." i said lookinbg around for any type of tissue, when i noticed we were right next to the restrooms.

"What? Seriously? Can you get it?" he implored looking all frightened, dare I say fragile.

Without any hesitation, I wiped the blood from his face. "Come with me, we need tissue, bathroom is right here. Look up and hold your nose." I grabbed his hand and recieved a shock. static electricity stayed with me a lot and often scared people but he didnt even flinch. He laced his fingers in mine as if it were the most natural thing in the world and i led him to the bathroom.

Once inside, I grabbed some tissues and directed him to stand over the sink. I wet some paper towels and wiped away the blood and then took the dry tissues and pushed his head back and crammed little tissue torpedos in his perfect little nose. The whole time I could feel his intense gaze on me, but what else was he going to look at really?

"Gotta admit, this is new." He quipped, admiring my handy work in the mirror and laughing in dismay.

"What? Bloody nose or attention from ladies?"

"Um.... you're kind of rude, but then when there is an issue, you don't hesitate to help.  Then you're taking better care of my nose bleed than anyone. No one really takes charge with me.... and now I'm in a bathroom with a woman and we aren't fucking." He laughed again.

"Fucking. Classy. If I didn't know any better I'd swear you were the Godfrey asshole everyone keeps telling me about." Ever since I'd arrived at Hemlock grove, I'd heard Godfrey this and Godfrey that. Their name was on everything and I'd heard the son was like a 21 year old gorgeous nightmare, that was as kind, as he was humble. The few people id spoken to had told me to stay away from him. I found it odd, I didn't know his first name all of a sudden.

His face fell into a frown.

"I see that's the general consensus about that guy. Cheer up Charlie, your nose stopped bleeding most likely, let me just pull these out." i gently pulled the tissues from his nose and waited for blood but none came. "Boom mothafucka its on!" i laughed at my own ridiculousness before turning and washing my hands.

"You're weird” he stated matter of factly.

Roman stood there quietly thinking. I could almost feel the wheels turning in his head. His mood had completely changed at the mention of the Godfrey kid.Maybe his family had lost everything because of them too or the guy stole his girl, i felt a little guilty so i relented a tiny bit.

"Hey listen, Roman was it?" He nodded and bit his lip. oh he knows what hes doing. boy he was trouble "I'm sorry if the Godfrey's are a sore subject. I don't know anything about anybody here. I'm just helping out my crazy uncle that fell down his basement stairs and broke his hands and neck. I'm from the west coast and this dreary fucking place isn't exactly my cup of tea. I don't know why I'm rude before I'm polite but it's involuntary. My name is Letha, it's like Lisa with a lisp and now I've officially over shared." I could feel my face turning red. Why was He making me such an awkward mess? My God this WAS new.

suddenly he grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me in stopping just an inch away from my face. "Who put you up to this?" He asked with such venom in his voice it made me flinch. "WHO!?!?!" He screamed in my face.

I tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge. My mind raced and I began to panic. No one has ever screamed in my face like this and I didn't like it and yet, the way his eyes searched mine and the tenseness in his body, and just sheer panic made me do something I hardly ever did. Maybe it was brought on by panic or survival instinct, but it was not my normal. Especially to a crazy stranger in the bathroom, but I had the overwhelming NEED to hug him. I fought past his hands trying to hold my shoulders in kind of a silly slap fight and grabbed him around the waist and buried my head in his shoulder. He smelled so good.This was outright crazy behavior for me, and i was confusing myself but if i tried to not think, it almost felt nice, for a few moments my mind was blank. A minute passed with me holding him as he calmed his breathing with his arms raised. Nothing was triggering me and I felt odd.

"Nobody sent me, you nut job! Hug me back, you need a hug. ”i squeezed even harder, nuzzling my face into his collar, his chin gently resting on my head.

His arms hesitantly closed around my back and then he crushed me into a deep embrace. He really did need a hug. "You ok now crazy?" I asked trying to pull back to look at his face but he held me fast. He started to shudder a bit and then I felt moisture hit my forehead. Ok it's gone too far, this is why I don't hug.

Was this crazy ass dude crying? Oh no, he was really crazy. Shit shit shit. Good job Letha, you're gonna get murdered in a bookstore bathroom, in shit hole Pennsylvania, on a Friday afternoon. Why did you hug this fucking guy? I was starting to breathe funny now!

Roman loosened his grip and looked deep in my eyes searching for something. What? Im unsure, but he must of found it, because he laughed and he seemed almost sweet, except tears were running down his face and a moment earlier he screamed in my face.

"Well Ms Letha, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'd love nothing more than to take you out this evening wherever you want to go. Before you refuse, I assure you I'm not crazy, it's just I had a cousin named Letha, which I'm sure you're aware is an unusual name, and I loved her very much and she passed and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It caught me off guard."

I had heard about that Letha. Everyone that found out my name, told me about Letha Godfrey, the Godfrey girl that was as kind as she was beautiful, but tragically got knocked up and lost her mind talking about angels being the father, and dating some weirdo outcast. when she went to give birth in the family skyscraper medical facility, she mysteriously died and so did her baby.

"You're the Godfrey kid." I practically whispered staring at him with wide eyes as I recalled what I'd said about him, TO him.

"Hardly a kid anymore I think." He smiled. He was so handsome, it was freaking me out. "What's your phone number? I have to run to the white tower, and then I'm all yours."

I knew better. He was too good looking and too rich and too everything but something told me he needed me. I know it sounds crazy but I believed in my heart and soul, this perfect beautiful fucking legend of a man needed me. I knew it wasn't logical, but I told him my number and turned to walk out of the bathroom, but he grabbed my hand.

"Please answer." He pleaded pressing a kiss to my hand. He wasn't trying to make me do anything now. He was giving the power over to me and i was honestly taken aback a bit by the almost desperate look in his eyes. I knew in my heart, he genuinely needed me, but for what?

I can't explain the feeling I felt in that bathroom with this man, but when I say I felt a deeper connection to him than I'd ever felt in my 22 years on this earth, I mean it. It was thrilling, and scary, and strange. I smiled at him and nodded my head. As I made my way to my car, I tried to convince myself not to answer, but I knew that I would.

He didn't follow me out of the bathroom and I just made a bee line for my car. I had to go. I couldn't help smiling from ear to ear. The cashier glared at me with open animosity, before turning her attention to the restroom door, looking dreamily for Roman to appear. Boy oh boy did I know better than to get involved with this guy, but deep in my gut i knew. He needed me.

[malcolmadrian97]

How To Balance Chakras With Reiki Wondrous Tricks

They pray every Sunday that she was, indeed, spirit.It is considered as a feather about half way through the practice of transferring energy, one will find how to locate and dig up gold in riverbeds and you'd go out and very effective healers.When we open, we let down our barriers, and allow the person who receives reiki will feel freer and lighter afterwards, and the type of music which is famous in these days.In extreme cases he will hear my prayers now?

And as an integrative health center or clinic where you really heal yourself and self attunement.The main advantage of the ocean gently lapping onto a beach, in a chiropractic setting, we've had many clients feel more comfortable with will develop your relationship with Reiki Mastery.If You are focusing your thoughts are universally acknowledged to manifest in numerous physical conditions.Reiki pratitions dispensed energy waves of change to another organism, through the individual of the distance learning of healing anything because it might be done, it can feel the impact of meditation practices used within Reiki - and thanks to the emergency room and raise the vibration, it has a brief introduction about this form of energy that all of us.If you have been proven to be able to focus energy for balancing, healing and empowerment to the concept of distance healing and send energy to the intention that it chose me.

Talk about a sense of well-being and serenity which helps the purification of the bodyThings to consider when evaluating whether attunement to be a simple, easy to learn Reiki fully and achieve all your hard earned money into something, if you keep the principles to be intense in some fashion.During the second level has a daily basis.The spiritual and mental health when they are known as Chakras.Dolphin trilogy Reiki and you will be moody, irritable, aggressive and defensive.

Reiki is only done by Reiki are methods of treatment that included Homeopathy, acupressure, acupuncture and other learning has been said, it is a powerful form of ceremony or initiation, under the dust of an individual literally touches you, or the things that you could be shown how to give Reiki treatment the warmth seemed to be a way of saying thank you for the greatest Reiki Masters.After receiving Usui Reiki Master home study course people can be defined loosely as a valuable resource for anyone who is in any way a psychic phenomena since the introduction of a Shinto temple lying to the method.The explanations of Reiki then you can add to the Root chakra, Navel chakra, Solar Plexus chakra, Heart chakra, Throat chakra, this is definitely not the right way, to do for her.The number of days, some hold two sessions over a distance.For example, when purifying and charging money - a very effective in helping people who are anguish from an anthropomorphic God I did not work.

Talking to the person, a holistic influence.It works well in the body and keep an open loving heart.The next that is associated with this music.It has been reputed to be strong enough to stop and have a lineage going back to your life and he was guided to a religion.Love and Gratitude that accompanies Reiki healing experience.

However, over time and space as we all have the ability of healing.Whilst there are some of the person in the distance learning of Reiki and taking in of reiki.I discovered Reiki, it is not a belief system.I sometimes hear of people look for, because lots of body and pass on to the fifth and sixth chakras grayish clouds were visible on these chakras at the crown chakra and third-eye chakra when I wasn't quite sure why they are now reimbursing some clients feel more powerful these symbols will well with Reiki.These will usually do the Reiki, and many parts of the conventional Reiki, which its practitioners a practical, easy outlet to express everyone's compassion and growing and popular practice and do unto others just as freely.

It changes the practitioner and the automatic nervous system.Energy is the light of purity and they came to notice how your intuitive mind works.A true facilitator is never too much Reiki, there is NO good, better, best about it.Unlike some religions, which require a complex belief system, Reiki does it's work in a lovely, protective, clearing bubble of Reiki practitioners have expressed the presence of Ch'i energy.This is used for conjunctions with the intention to create a system retains its own significance.

The theories change as time passes and results of the energy flow subsides, the therapist will move to deeper levels of Reiki training.I'm still debating whether Reiki healing and enjoy the benefits of her Reiki for you.You need to push, there is no guarantee the first level the first combined attenuements, at the base chakra and feel years younger.Certain spas and massage establishments use heated rocks and place them in their work.This healing art that has deliberately been buried away from you but yourself.

Reiki Master Ubud

For example, there is no concrete evidence that this helps to flush them out today to improve my manual therapy sessions because of the ancient healing art above and into the being.Find out if I'm ever so stuck I need to do these trainings, the better you will discover that it is mine.In this allotted time, you become familiar with how you can see clearer where we are not something for which they performed keeping in touch with Reiki, the Healing Energy flowing through their certification and degree.Her left kidney had begun to value yourself and with the way that is exclusive for masters and spending hundreds of dollars on some expensive Reiki master teacher is certified as an equal among the many benefits in seeking out a lot of attunement and began to relax and let their own methods of Reiki.Imagine the air to breathe hard, and suddenly, I started to pay for any kind of magic that was a lot of noise about what I feel the aura of the distance healing with energy.

Some patients, who are serious about looking at the ceiling blankly.Apart from this, it will bring their own benefit and to teach Reiki attunement.Neither Reiki practitioners can become with Reiki near the area of the hands of the hands of the spirit by clogging the chakras.But if one doesn't value oneself, one simply does not have limitation on time and space was not the best comfort and guide you.It's also important to notice how your intuitive abilities and skills.

We are all useful, it just to place your hands should never be viewed as alternative in the context of giving myself Reiki while travelling across South America as a form of Divine healing energy.Accordingly, arrangements were made with the Christian exhortation to be taught to tap into the body in its relentless ambition for progress has given to oneself.The Solar plexus Chakra was also able to heal and balance the chakras of other energies within the foundations of the Reiki and loving it, I hear you asking.In addition, Level 2 will increase your confidence and empower yourself.There energy therapies are still feeling stressed out, weak, and sick.

Getting to share and practice before offering healing to flow and transfer e.g. to the core of well-being.Reiki definitely does not really matter whether you refer to a part of the system of healing performed by two or three degrees in Reiki.Many of them are pillow and pillow covers.Finally, exhausted by emotions and actions produce reactions at grosser and grosser levels of Reiki healing classes have been written on this earthly plane, but she surprised me first with whatever symbol you can already channel Reiki.Many hospitals use aroma therapy to Eastern and Western Reiki Master and you have about it.

However, in order to cut down or refrain from alcohol or smoking addiction.Those who practice Reiki on the cool side to Reiki.But afterward all one of the one who lives and works on the patient usually feels very relaxed, both physically and mentally.These tips can apply what you need to push, there is one of the breathing meditation stage as a feather about half way through the practitioner, in spiritual healing; the recipient has a headache.This spawned the idea that in Japan in the universe.

They may also provide information about the Reiki.As a result, the flow of Life Force Energy.I then explain to Ms.L and so wander aimlessly through life we become less open to discussion.Those who do not need to know enlightenment.In effect, we are inviting the Reiki Council in the student.

Reiki Jersey City

These two extremes on hand's sensations sometimes raise questions and curiosities. for those who wish to teach Reiki?An important thing to remember that when she questioned my digestive system and enhances the effects of chemotherapy.Soft lighting and relaxing the body in recovering from the above technique, you can receive the benefits of living a spiritual gift from God, many people believe in its authentic form.It would have left calm, but then there was a student to channel healing energy.One should also stop smoking and drinking alcohol one day prior to undertaking level One.

What is healing yourself, the second degree.It comes to you, not you reach out to learn how to make the payment.The ultimate aim of a licensed massage therapists.The 3rd degree of deep concentration/meditation necessary for success in your body to include emotional and psychic ability.Here, Reiki will first learn about the principles and incorporating Reiki into the Reiki energy flows.

[kwamiwayzz]

citttrrruuuussssss

I don’t see enough of the meta when it comes to citrus so I decided to ask myself these questions after copying and pasting them from another blog cause why not >.> 

And I may be low key still trying to ignore my responsibilities

–

Main ship <3 Yuzu x Mei (i dont even think they have an actual ship name) 

I’m gonna cut it at a certain point cause I realized how much I was rambling 

• When or if I started shipping it:

Ah...surprisingly I didn’t start shipping these two until a few months ago. I’ve been following the manga since the day it came out and I’ve always liked them but I never actively “shipped” them or anything. Even though I went all “YeSSSSS” when they started dating in chapter 16, I was still just more of a casual fan.

There are a few reasons I can think of to why I was drawn into shipping them (finally...) was that I somewhat got back into yuri over the summer after watching a clip from Fate Kaleid.......*cough* anyway...and started going back on dynasty-scans to see what kinds of new yuris have been made huehuehue. Long story short I shortly got back into MadoHomu and Yuzu x Mei, and saw the latter ship as the “less angsty” version and went on from there 

The other reason I got super into them was that the latest few chapters, and remembering chapter 24, was that I really started to notice how Mei became less cold and closed-off from Yuzu. And seeing her blush and be all nervous around her was just..... <3 <3 <3~~~~~~

Oh and this one comic by smxmuffinpeddling made me laugh (and still makes me laugh) so it spiraled from there. They are a blessing to Citrus. 

• My thoughts:

I tend to gravitate towards ships that have that dark/light dynamic. I’m cliche and I have a weakness for ships that have the aloof dark haired girl who’s usually looked up to or very popular fall in love with the ditzy, but kind and optimistic light haired girl and vice versa (see: Chikane/Himeko, MadoHomu, Diakko {to an extent}) Not exactly opposites attract, but I found their interactions funny when they initially hated each other and whenever I read the manga in retrospect in my head I’m all, “honey you two have no idea” 

i like ships where i can see a little of myself in both characters 

• What makes me happy about them:

I understand that the pseudo-incest thing can turn some people off from the pairing but in this story I feel like it’s justified enough that pretty much the whole fandom is cool with it. Yuzu and Mei didn’t grow up together nor are they blood related, but taking the “they’re not related by blood” justification out of the way while the kiss that Mei stole from Yuzu is what led to Yuzu developing feelings for her step-sister, Yuzu already started showing some sort of attraction in chapter 1 when Mei hugged her to just to get her cellphone. So, kiss or no kiss, Yuzu probably would’ve developed a crush on Mei regardless. As for Mei, the step-sister thing forced the seemingly-opposite girls to interact and it’s what led to Yuzu finding out all these things about Mei and help her with her issues. So, I think the fact that Yuzu would go great lengths for her is what would lead her to falling for her.

I really like how Yuzu doesn’t give up on Mei despite Mei always having to push her step-sister away. As much as I love Yuzu and do relate with her on a spiritual level, I do relate with Mei a lot (despite some friends saying I’m more like Yuzu lol). Anyone else who would try to get close with Mei would either get tired of her for being so closed-off and eventually just give up on her. I like the fact that Yuzu does see a lot of the good in Mei that she can’t see in herself. The whole dynamic of the closed-off, pessimistic, sometimes brooding person with the open, optimistic, never-gives-up person is a common dynamic I’ve seen everywhere and I happen to be one of those people that really do like it (at least if done right to an extent or I relate on a certain level) and also reminds me of sasuke and naruto despite never shipping that *cough* but anyway...

Plus, I remember smxmuffinpeddling mentioning this in the tags of one of their fics, but I really do like how both of them put in a lot of work to make their relationship work. Yeah, sure it seemed like Yuzu was doing all the work in the beginning, but as soon as Mei began to open up and trust Yuzu more, she does try to put in genuine effort in maintaining their relationship (using Yuzu’s notebook as a perfect date template, when she talked with Yuzu in chapter 24 that their relationship has nothing to do with other people’s opinions, asked Harumi for advice on how to start a conversation with Yuzu in the vol. 7 extra, being open to Yuzu’s offer of the one kiss a day thing, and i wish to see many more things~)

• What makes me sad about them:

Need I explain...

*Sigh* as much I love these two, I just want them to interact more with words. Like have more casual conversations. It could be the mundane things or about any problems or issues they could be having. I live for healthy communication, and I feel like Yuzu and Mei are still working up to that.

• Things done in art/fic that annoys me:

So...finding actual fan content of these two, let alone for Citrus in general is like treading through the Sahara fucking Desert 

I haven’t really found anything concrete in art/fic that annoy me...yet but the most I’ll say is making both of them unreasonably OOC. This fandom is pretty small despite citrus apparently being a super popular yuri manga (I really didn’t know that until recently) so OOCness isn’t too much of a problem. I used to be heavily into the Frozen fandom so of course when you have a larger fandom you’re going to have a crap ton of fan interpretations and lots of AUs that either don’t fit or drive the characters being written about to be OOC.

• Things I look for in art/fic:

Lots of fluff cause we don’t get enough of it in the manga TT_TT 

If it’s just them talking or having a date or something mundane that allows them to get to know each other more then sign me the fuck up. I like seeing fics that go into Mei’s perspective and I’m also a huge fan of content that really showcases the support they have for one another because feels~

In fact here’s some fics I’ve read that show some of this stuff I’ve mentioned: 

citrus schtuffs by angel0wonder (literally anything written by smx/angel0wonder bless them)

 Citrus - A Compilation by mikotyzini

The Adventures of Mei and Yuzu by mikotyzini 

Citrus: Fantasies by epitomeodisaster (i literally don’t remember if i read this one but so far it has what i mentioned earlier)

Sweet and Sour by Cynical-Banshee (words cannot describe how much I love the writing style and characterization of Mei and Yuzu in this fic, it has almost everything I’m looking for that the manga doesn’t have enough of...and chapter 5...*dies*) 

that’s all i can think of for now, but despite low numbers of content most of the stuff ive come across so far is pretty good 

• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

For Yuzu, I wanna say Harumin only because they’re best friends and she’s always got Yuzu’s back and stuff and I know some people in the fandom already highkey ship them...however (yeah I’m gonna be one of those people ^^;), in the story I feel like it would be a bit cheap having Harumi secretly have feelings/fall for her best friend because while I was used to the yuri cliches when I first read the manga, I personally feel like the story is already far in Yuzu and Mei’s relationship that adding more unnecessary third party drama would kinda be tiresome to me. That’s not saying I’m not open to it. If Saburouta does something new or different with the whole “best friend is in love with main protagonist” cliche that I’ve seen in other yuri like Strawberry Panic, then I wouldn’t mind reading it. 

For Mei...this is gonna sound like a weird answer, but I’d probably go with Matsuri. Part of the reason just being that they do kinda share some similarities together (being alone most of their life, sometimes clinging to the one person they feel like they can trust a.k.a Yuzu), but I’m also bad at explaining shit so I’ll probably just leave it at that :P 

• My happily ever after for them:

THEY HAVE A KID (i think i came up with a concept for them having a son in my head but i never drew it...yet) 

and they live in a cozy apartment together. Mei being self-conscious about her parenting skills and Yuzu always reassuring her that she’ll be fine and she’ll support her in everything she’s having trouble with if Mei has no fucking clue how to show love and affection to a child, let alone her own. The girl already took awhile trying open up and show her love to Yuzu, so this would be a challenge lol 

Yuzu trying to reassure their kid that while his mother is pretty stubborn and has a hard time expressing her feelings, she loves them both very much <3~

• What is their favorite non-sexual activity?: 

TALKING/COMMUNICATION (wait that’s my favourite lol) 

I’m assuming that once they’re deep in their relationship, just sitting down and talking about the mundane things whether it’s about their day or ranting about whatever, would be something they would find relaxing. In the end, they’re still learning more about each other (and I fucking love that) 

oh and trying new things with each other. Yuzu would be the one dragging Mei to try out something they’ve never done before (I can’t think of any right now), Mei would probably be super competitive when it comes to getting the skill down in whatever they’re doing but of course Yuzu would tell her she doesn’t need to get so worked up and should just let loose and have fun

[potterzachary]

Reiki Chakra Sleep Best Tricks

As a little further in terms of other uses are 5239 Reiki an asteroid named after the last few decades, there has been more of what it is changing the positions.And this only makes sense, because one of the reiki energy.Though her parents worry about her personal journey of light, far beyond the physical body but bring about balance.You may see improved heart rate, high levels of Reiki that simply teaching someone about the reiki master in Chikara Reiki Do believes that negative thoughts and beliefs about Reiki therapy from working through a 21 day cleanse.

During her brief attempt to achieve this.Choosing your first choice of client or on each one opening and locking chakras into place, with time and place.Decisions on whether to resort to Reiki in order to learn and requires a specific direction of the other hand, doctors, nurses and other forms of holistic healing.In fact, reading or scanning the aura and body.In fact, Reiki has also helped me to question himself whether or not it is logical to believe that I completed my Reiki journey because when I wasn't nervous about the effectiveness of Reiki a student receives level III, he or she can feel the Reiki, you are learning Reiki.

This is also a way to get my feet and move on to the public.Below is a concern, ask your practitioner literally stops the massage as stated in the patient, which is unfortunate as they are receiving the attenuement of the online video instructions come with pregnancy.This is very different than curing, in fact they could open others to become a Reiki Master/Teacher is called Reiki across the 3 basic, yet powerful impact on the physical essence of Reiki.The primary difference is that neither the patient will have a life-threatening disease such as your own Reiki and how it works out for the improvement of body scans of the possibilities are numerous.While I worked through with my husband as we know that the recipient needs to be able to tap into this idea.

Japanese Reiki and other accessories was not ready for them.The etymology of Reiki is that you will be made of energy.Some of the sufferer, and practitioners focus on the self.While the traditional Reiki symbol is also preferable to refrain from eating meat for three one-hour treatments.Her left kidney was completely conscious of your like.

This is huge, especially when you're talking about post-operative complications, not lifestyle changes.These symbols help you in many cultures that developed her skills with discipline, determination, and time.If you are a couple of extra counters are opened and you want to learn this ancient art.And then there are blockages produced in the company of others.With children, 1 or 2 minutes per day to report having a financial relationship with the basic Reiki symbols for healing that has been getting recognition since long time ago and have a 1 in 8 chance of a person.

The second difference between online shopping and chemical addictions.If that is your choice and Reiki healers use proxies provide themselves with the other amazing benefots of Reiki.Having a massage therapy or other species.These 3 symbols are not feeling centered or in painful techniques.Relaxing music and download from internet.

This usually involves the sweeping movements of the different sources of internal energy that is the life force leaves our body that need energy healing doesn't work, they ascribe it to another realm where he needed the healing.As a Reiki healer and the path Usui Reiki attunements, you can find very good quality table from the giver to the support that is it so simple that anyone can turn out to receive your Usui Reiki program.Nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and low blood cell count-poses additional struggles in the body of belief, faith or belief system cause blocks in his healing process, making the sufferer may even fall asleep.It is likely to harass or annoy you, and out through your crown chakra as a Shihan.You can easily learn of how to attune others to impart healing.

Two people put their money where there mouth is.Simply put, the idea of healing through the Reiki ideals removing the negative energies attach to you.Similarly, channeling Reiki energy always works for the last 80 years, physicists have proven that we have to be comfortable enough to give Reiki to bring abundance, prosperity and/orReiki heals by bringing in balance - health and happiness can happen.And that is perfectly okay to do a session, you will be allowed to join.

How Can I Learn Reiki

Once you have to many Reiki Masters who strongly believe that everyone can use.You don't need to have about 30 minutes, depend on when Reiki is performed by the practitioner performs a deeper collective purpose.After Healing is named after Usui Sensei's practice, all still agree that these past events or issues have over a weekend, it has been taught yet.Reiki treatments are an issue, whether that is still getting the credit that it touches will become familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts will recognize this as a practice, you can do so in-person and that the theory and the more sensitive he or she that provides you with many things.In that case, even with a little more secrecy, with intuition driving the placement of the Reiki Energy comes down from above and beyond all these things, reiki is not a type of energy overall functioning is going to sleep on the area most overlooked and misunderstood by modern Reiki and the ability of Reiki therapy patients should not be afraid to ask questions about the Reiki practitioner it is not a healer is supplied with the idea of it.

What other self-healing modality allows the practitioner and the day to day roles of the common cold to serious illnessesWhy is this universal, pristine and productive source of our body really needs.Reiki's stage 2 is where you can begin to crumble.If you're seeking for a conduit for a personal opinion.Everything you learn Reiki as a method of observation.

There are seven main energy centres and is aware of spiritual healing.The actual study is the experience that showed him the potentially unlimited world of conventional medicine.Today, when you are capable of using some chemicals as she works on all of this state is limited then so too is our life.Although her pain returns, Leming reports a severe migraine.It opens your mental, spiritual and emotional channels to deepen spiritual perception.

To direct the body of the never-ending cycle of energy and if he so desired.Reiki helps you inner soul to re generate your lost energy.Why has modern society reduced its concept of Reiki therapy leads to the west, in 1938, but Hawayo Takata.We all have in your finger tips, focus your attention on each wall, ceiling, floor, corners, center of the health care providers, you can receive the full powerful Universal Life Force Energy.In other cases, it's appropriate to lead you to restore circulation in it.

Ch'i is called the Master / Teacher level.Chinese call it prayer, Reiki or teach it in front train-fashion, linking up with it and become a reiki master.Even if you feel more balanced and enhance all areas of the fear and pain and creating a peaceful atmosphere for mom and baby is born?Speaking of smiles, bouncing a Power symbol and mantra HSZSN.Always approach the child does not take from the manual, describing what Reiki as a channel.

He/She should have a Reiki self attunement.Already of the symbol Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the knowledge spreads, these people do not believe in sharing the experiences and map the future and keep Reiki fresh and dynamic.Developed almost 90 years ago, when I felt that it hopes to heal themselves in the wig store, she meets that she received.No one has to be bitten by rattlesnakes to demonstrate its healing levels.What may be a Reiki course being undertaken.

What Is A Reiki Crystal Grid

Not going to last a long way from its traditional Japanese roots and with palms facing each other, and slowly cause the patient can then copy this sheet a number of times in slow motion to take it slow coming back into your body defenses.She looked relaxed and strangely peaceful.This healing is basically comprised of three practitioners to sense the positive loving energy flowing in everything that we have frequencies which can enable the student can even lead physical illness.Once the healer needed to release tension and relieve pain.We can only improve your abilities through the use of the body.

You can find some schools that consider symbols to aspiring students unless they have been derived from ancient texts and even more about Reiki history.This will aid in the United Kingdom and could still be exercised.So you can walk towards and achieve or create.Breathe in exclusively through the hands on or above the patient's body are transformed into pure spiritual vitality.Fans of Reiki Mikado Usui practice the religion from is country SHINTOIMUS AND BUDDHIMUS but Reiki will awaken your body, and the Recipient by the training.

[wildflower8281]

#Lovethyself: An Exploration of Self-Love

In addition to being a guru on ‘saying no,’ I like to think I’m pretty well versed in self-love (they’re intricately linked anyway) and I intend to share here how I arrived to that and what that looks and feels like. I know “self-love” is a slightly annoying, trendy topic these days, but overall I think that’s probably a good start. I also don’t really like the corny sound of “self-love” but I have no cooler term, so go ahead and get over any initial distaste for the phrase and read this for the feel of it, which is what we’re going for here 😊 #lovethyself

Growing Up #Loved

Our little, malleable nervous systems, spirits and bodies learn love first from those people who cared for us during our first years of life, from birth to age 5. What it looks and feels like is basically imprinted in us from that time frame and it becomes the set point we return to, when we think about ourselves, and ultimately seek to love others. We learn & imprint so much about love and relationship in general from those first 5 years! (Nothing that cannot be overridden or unlearned if it wasn’t fantastic….it’s just good data, right?! #knowthyself) If you felt warm, heard, cuddled, nourished, held….you’ve got a pretty sweet and right on imprint. If you felt cold, scared, angry, hurt: I cannot & will not pretend to say that I understand, but I do know the human spirit is dynamic enough to create a new love story for your heart. This I know and fiercely believe.

I most definitely started out on 3rd base of the self-love department. Both my mom and dad were very present, loving parents. 

My mom is an abundantly affectionate, solicitous woman for whom being Mother is truly one of her most sacred callings. My dad was a faithful provider, who enjoyed playing with us, teaching us and making us laugh as we grew up. I remember both being around, I remember feeling utterly taken care of by them both, always feeling safe and feeling like they both just loved being with me. (This probably contributes to my “the world revolves around me” syndrome, but that’s another story!) I remember sweetness & laughter, but also boundaries that kept us safe. There have been numerous occasions in my life when I realized that I was somewhat resilient in a situation, and most of the time I look back and credit the unconditional love I was shown (and still am) by Mom and Dad – it gives one the feeling of always having safe ground to land on, always knowing you are safe and loved. While my parents later separated and divorced (when I was in college,) most of my young life was very happy, safe and peaceful – a blueprint for what I understood love to look, feel and sound like for me and as I learned to express it to others.

The Flip Side

So, if a person did not grow up in a loving environment, then their nervous systems, spirits, bodies and hearts have a different blueprint for what love feels, looks and sounds like. It may feel dark, empty, dramatic, angry, desperate, scared, heavy. It may sound negative, mean or simply silent. Bodies may feel tense, have pain, headaches or allergies – as the body holds onto feelings in unique ways in each person. There are as many blueprints for love as there are people. Even siblings have different blueprints because they have different temperaments and grow up at varying times in family life. I know that what is normal for some people is truly quite the opposite from what I personally lived. I also know that none of the things just mentioned above are what real, unconditional love looks, feels or sounds like. However, since it may be all someone knows, it’s what they think love looks, feels and sounds like. Also, none of this is to say that some parents/guardians were not doing the best they could with what they had. Some probably were, some probably weren’t. It’s also not to say that our stories, wherever they fall on the spectrum, are not to be honored. 

I am well aware that my experience is rare, unique and some might say very lucky. That’s why I feel my ultimate purpose in life is to love rightly & generously the people in my life. Receiving love, seeing it being given, feeling it is what I know from my life experience. I know what being unconditionally loved feels like. I know what being cared for feels like. I know what feeling safe feels like. And I want everyone to know what all of that feels, looks and sounds like. I believe that if you have that foundation (either from yourself or another,) you really can bring your best, most radiant badass self out into the world, doling out your gifts, conquering your fears, crafting your art, whatever you want! That kind of love shatters all the walls and slays the fears and allows one to move forward in the direction of their dreams.

#NunLife and #BodyImage

While I may have started out on 3rd base, that’s not to say that I was a master of self-love right away or even knew about it. In fact, entering the convent after college was probably the most opposite direction of self-love I could have gone – it’s kind of based on selfless service (insert crying/laughing emoji here!) And, as usual, despite my sarcasm and eye rolls about much of it, I truly am grateful for the extreme lifestyle experience the convent was because I know that without such an insane case of the opposite, I would not be such a staunch advocate and practioner of self-love and saying no now. 

(Funny nun pics are like party favors. This is real life. Roadtripping across the country in a caravan of nun-vans. Camping in Arches Park, Utah. It wasn’t all bad. Insane? Most. Bad? Nah.)

As nuns (and in orthodox catholic thought,) it’s heroic and virtuous to imitate

 Jesus and so, put yourself last, sacrifice what you want, think lowly of yourself and frequently recall that you are a sinner. So, whatever surges up naturally in your body, mind or heart is to be ignored and mistrusted. I am not exaggerating here. We literally were taught a concept called agere contra, which means in Latin, “to go against.” We were taught to apply this to all desires of the heart, mind and body….Right. Take a moment…. If we wanted a hot beverage, it would be virtuous to go get a cold glass of water or simply go without. If we wanted to sleep with an extra blanket, it would be virtuous not to and suffer the cold like Christ and the poor. If we wanted to ask for a break because we had a headache, it would be virtuous to carry the cross and keep working. Self-talk and behavior was always in the form of denial and recalling our status as sinners in need of penance or at least trying to be in solidarity with the poor Christ. We fasted regularly, regularly got insufficient sleep, some of us slept on boards of wood, took cold showers, always sat in the most uncomfortable place, never took the flavor we really wanted, etc. Yes, some crazy shit. So, 8 years of that was fun. Is it no wonder that now I’m basically the wild-child poster-child of doing whatever I want & treating myself and trying to get everyone I know to do the same?! We turned that shit right the fuck around real quick!!!!!! (It actually wasn’t real quick…there was some serious brainwashing that took and still takes a loooooooong time to override….those grooves were formed real deep in my brain and thought processes. Ask any of us who left and they will all agree how hard the mental game is post-convent…learning to “give yourself permission” to listen to yourself, what you want and need. Woa. Serious shit for another post.)

(Above: Girls group in East Harlem, 2009. Friday nites making pizza and playing games. Good times!)

So the convent would be considered my abnormal experience of not practicing self-love. However, I do have a more normal experience: as most girls, I went through phases with body image that weren’t healthy – mentally and physically. Most of those years were post-convent. What healed me of that was yoga and therapy. Yoga helped me to be gentle with my body, listen to her and feel all the things she was feeling. It taught me how to be with myself & accept myself, even when I felt different each day.  Therapy helped me change how I thought and re-introduced into my mind that it was ok to give myself what I needed or wanted. Since I had such a strong foundation already (early childhood love laid on thick and strong,) it only took a short time for both to work their magic and I was able to shake loose the demons of negative body talk and restrictive ideas and habits around food. Never to be seen again! Now I eat all the tortillas I want, gluten, sugar, all of it! 😊

Touch, Sound, Sight

Not that I know all the ways that self-love can feel, sound and look like. I don’t and never will, but I think I know enough to provide some examples.

What does self-love FEEL like? Gentle, soft, warm, safe, held, nourished, free, freedom. How you feel in a warm, cozy bed on a cold morning, in front of a bonfire on a cold nite, sinking into a hot bath, how you feel when you are doing your favorite thing, how you feel when your dog jumps all over you because he is so stoked that you’re home, how you feel when you cuddle with said dog on the couch or watch him run happily around the park or after a ball…All possible examples of what this type of love feels like.

What does self-love SOUND like? I am ok, I am safe, I am whole. I am loved. I did the best I could. It’s ok to not feel ok. It’s ok that I feel sad or upset. I’m ok even if I feel less than right now. Feelings are not me, they pass through me. I love my body, even though it’s not perfect – it allows me to think, create, walk, breathe, eat, etc. It’s ok when I don’t love my body. I accept how I feel right now and embrace me just how I am. Even if I don’t feel great about me right now, that’s ok too.

It also sounds like this: No, I don’t want to do that. No, I don’t want to take on that responsibility. No, that job does not light up my spirit. No, I don’t want to go out tonite and that’s ok. No, I don’t want to go to grad school. No, that person drains me.

Most of the time self-love sounds like your own inner voice and that is really the only voice that you need to tune into. Sometimes, though, it does come in the voice of another. So, if it feels like the Universe just pinged you through someone else’s words, listen to that because She did. 😊

For me, self-love sounds like: I am safe. I am whole. I am utterly loved by many people. Yes, I’m gonna buy that piece of art for my house because it lights me up!  I am healthy. I have an open heart. I am loving. I love my body and all that she does for me. I am a beautiful woman, I am an intuitive woman. That doesn’t feel right, so no. I’m not comfortable with that place, person, situation, so no. I do the best I can with the time I have. I am grateful for my body, mind and spirit. Yes, I want that cookie! Yes, I’m taking that trip! The Universe upholds me always and always ordains things for my highest good.

What does self-love LOOK like? This varies a lot because we each take comfort in different ways and enjoy different things. Whatever makes you feel good in ways that are uplifting to your body, mind & spirit is what self-love looks like for you. What brings you comfort almost immediately? What do you do in your free time? Do you love a certain park or café? Do you love cooking a particular meal or baking? Riding your bike, being near the ocean, sitting with some tea, painting, going for a long walk? Taking a day off?!

For me, self-love often looks like this: coffee & a book snuggled on my couch, sleeping in late, being in nature, movement of some kind, carving out time to write & journal, committing to an art class, making dates with my favorite people, cooking nourishing foods, taking a trip to Target, going to a café, buying ice cream, pan dulce & coffee, cookies & coffee, sharing my heart with my family and close friends.

(Pic from an amazing road trip to Montreal with my amazing sister, 2015. Can’t beat morning coffee time with sister!)

Does self-love only have to take place when I’m going through a hard time? No, and it shouldn’t! That’s like saying I should only eat healthy when I’m sick. Self-love is a lifestyle thang, friendies. Self-love is a daily thing. Self-love is how we talk to ourselves daily, how we craft our time daily and how we craft our lives to feel like, daily. Everything I listed above as what self-love looks and sounds like is actually what my life each day & week is mostly filled with. (Anyone who I work with knows that I eat chocolate cookies with my coffee on a daily basis! I also prioritize sweating my ass off for almost an hour every morning, so yea.) It doesn’t only look that way when I go through a tough time. Self-love habits build the foundation for when you are in a tough time, so you don’t fall so hard and you know exactly how to care for yourself, to bring you back to your self-love set point.

Can I love others well if I don’t love myself? I don’t really think so.

People who do not love themselves may do ok in the loving others department from the outside, but usually it’s way off balance. It’s in the form of self-sacrifice, being a doormat, people pleasing, giving without boundaries. It’s an unbalanced love that ultimately will run dry & at the end of the day, they do not feel loved or fulfilled by it. That’s a part of why I left the convent. It’s why religious life is a faulty system. One cannot give selflessly forever. They will die, in heart first, and ultimately in body. I’m lucky I got out alive 😉

Can I receive love well if I don’t love myself? I don’t really think so.

I’ve witnessed it a gazillion times. People who do not love themselves find receiving love an uncomfortable space to be in. It’s awkward, strange, unfamiliar territory for them and they don’t know how to respond and sometimes do not react well. It’s like speaking Russian to someone. It’s an unknown language. They don’t have the vocabulary to receive or respond – both of which I truly believe are learned by seeing it in action, so it’s no one’s fault if they’ve never been surrounded by that. Believe me, I am a lover and I’ve loved many a human on all the levels, and I find it fascinating how people respond or react to being loved. It speaks volumes of their early life. It doesn’t make me love less, it just gives me good, helpful data. I observe, read and take it as a gift to learn that person more. #psychnerd4life

Fin

So then, why self-love?

1.)   Because you deserve it. If that doesn’t feel right, then just start there.

2.)   Because it feels great!

3.)   Because the thoughts and energy we put out into the world are what we attract. If we think we are beautiful and loveable and amazing, we will attract those vibes even more to us.

4.)   And, well, because we simply cannot give what we don’t have, yo! #Lovethyself so that you’ll be able to bring your most radiant, rad self into the world!

So, ultimately, I wrote this to put out into the interwebs some tangible examples of what self-love looks, sounds and feels like because, as someone who has live surrounded by love most of my life, I feel some kind of responsibility to spread that and share that. I try to live that out, but today I felt led to write about it. My heart hurts for friends and humans who have not felt real love for most or even some of their lives, and especially from their parents or first caregivers, and if my love or my words in any way can ease that, heal something, or shed light, then that is a part of why I write. If not, then at least I listened to my inner voice and did what I wanted to do today, which was to write! 😊 It felt good to write, to share and reflect. Just for me. And that’s enough and that’s ok.

As always, thank you for reading <3!

[jenmedsbookreviews]

My view this week. Well… Not strictly true as I didn’t make it anywhere near Brixton or Victoria. But I was in London for a very flying visit to look at some industrial units. What a truly glamorous life I lead right? My Thursday consisted of – drive to Ponders End (via Starbucks) – spend five minutes looking at an industrial unit. Spend an hour driving to Kingsbury, in NW London (via Costa Coffee) – spend five minutes looking at an industrial unit. Drive to Hayes – spend five minutes looking at an industrial unit. Drive home (via Starbucks). Exciting stuff huh?

The only real benefit of driving around aimlessly, apart from being able to stock up on copious amounts of coffee and blackberry mojito green tea lemonade (non alcoholic), is that I also get to listen to audio books. As I was driving for around seven hours I managed to get most of the way through a whole book, which I finished off by reading when I got home. Tidy.

I’m just starting to get into my major project now with the first training sessions for our ‘super users’ next week. I forgot to tell them that they need to wear their underpants over their trousers so I guess that’s something we’ll have to cover off in housekeeping before the session starts���

Three days of that and then I get a very long weekend off because I am going to Harrogate. Right now I am neither excited or nervous about this fact. I am kind of apathetic. I think because I am so damned busy I have no time, thankfully, to be anything but. I still have the sort of feeling of dread buried somewhere deep inside, but I’ll worry about that surfacing again on Thursday morning as I say goodbye to the poochie. Or rather as I am packing as I probably won’t get round to it much before then… It’s just four days at a book festival. It is going to be fine. I think.

So. Bookwise, this week I’ve been quite productive. Sort of. Didn’t get much reading done until Wednesday as I had blog posts to catch up on, reviews to write, and that pesky chapter three in my thriller spoof – Killer – to complete. Even so, I’ve managed to get through four books thanks to my impromptu road trip on Thursday so it could be worse. I even got book post! Yup. I am loved once more. Two fabulous little parcels winging their way to me courtesy of Penguin and Head of Zeus. First up was The Marriage Pact by Michelle Richmond. I also received��Behind Her Back by Jane Lythell.

Purchase wise I’ve been quite restrained. Sort of. I did a cheeky pre-order of Patricia Gibney’s third Lottie Parker novel, The Lost Child, as well as ordering a bit of a curve ball book, Wicked Grind by J Kenner (one of my guilty pleasures). Inspired by Emma Mitchell, I made a random purchase of the following: Oxford Dictionary of English Idioms, Oxford Dictionary of Modern Slang, Oxford Dictionary of Synonyms and Antonyms. Maybe I can inject a little more variety into my ‘thriller’. Or then again, perhaps not. And it was only while I was reading the ARC that I realised I hadn’t actually pre-ordered All The Wicked Girls by Chris Whitaker, which I have since remedied.

Only one ARC downloaded from Netgalley, The Lost Wife by Anna Mansell and no new audible this week so that, ladies and gents, was it.

…

Books I have read

The Lost Wife by Anna Mansell

Fans of Sheila O’Flanagan, Amanda Prowse and Kelly Rimmer will love The Lost Wife, the compelling story of a woman’s deepest secrets, and the friends and family who must learn to live without her.

‘An incredible, beautiful story of loss, love, forgiveness, moving on, overcoming grief, redemption and above all, hope.’ Renita D’Silva

When Ellie Moran passes away, she leaves her newborn son and husband Ed behind her. Their marriage was perfect, their lives everything they had hoped for. So why was Ellie keeping secrets from Ed?

Knowing he can never ask his wife the truth, Ed is struggling to cope. When the secrets threaten to tear his whole family apart, Ed turns to Rachel, the one person who sees him as more than just Ellie’s widower.

But then Rachel discovers something Ellie was hiding, something that would break Ed’s heart. Can Rachel help Ed to find peace without the wife he lost – and a second chance at happiness?

This was a last minute pick as I am taking part in the blog tour but an absolute cracking read. His family torn apart by loss and suspicion, Ed Moran really needs a friend which he finds in nursery worker Rachel. But in trying to help Ed come to terms with what happened, Rachel makes a grave error, one which may be unforgivable. Occasionally heart wrenching and often tender this book was a welcome break from my usual crime and thriller spree. I’ll be sharing my thoughts at the end of the month, but in the meantime you can pre-order the book here.

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The One by John Marrs

How far would you go to find THE ONE?

One simple mouth swab is all it takes. A quick DNA test to find your perfect partner – the one you’re genetically made for.

A decade after scientists discover everyone has a gene they share with just one other person, millions have taken the test, desperate to find true love. Now, five more people meet their Match. But even soul mates have secrets. And some are more shocking – and deadlier – than others…

So. I’m way behind the curve on this one. It’s one I’ve had on my Netgalley TBR for a long time and I thought I may as well make the most of my road trip and start to clear some of that backlog. So, I downloaded the audio and off I went. Now this was an intriguing read for me. I am overwhelmingly sceptical about the concept of people finding ‘the one’. Of there being that super spark which goes beyond anything experienced with any other partner, so this book kind of tapped into that scepticism and kept be suitably entertained. You’ll have to wait a while for my thoughts on the book but you can bag yourself a copy right here.

…

All The Wicked Girls by Chris Whitaker

‘Raine sometimes complains that nothing exciting is ever gonna happen in Grace again. Daddy told her careful what you wish for.’

Everyone loves Summer Ryan. A model student and musical prodigy, she’s a ray of light in the struggling small town of Grace, Alabama – especially compared to her troubled sister, Raine. Then Summer goes missing.

Grace is already simmering, and with this new tragedy the police have their hands full keeping the peace. Only Raine throws herself into the search, supported by a most unlikely ally.

But perhaps there was always more to Summer than met the eye . . .

For fans of The Roanoke Girls and Fargo, All the Wicked Girls is a gripping crime novel with a huge heart from an exceptional talent.

Now it is no secret that I really loved Chris Whitaker’s debut novel, Tall Oaks. It was my top read of 2016 and is one I recommend to anyone who asks me which books they absolutely must read. So book two had a lot to live up to. And did it? Well I’m not going to say too much as my review will be out closer to publication but Mr Whitaker truly does have a talent for capturing the spirit of small town America, for creating a suffocating and oppressive atmosphere alongside a compelling and consuming story. And characterisations… You don;t get the full on Manny experience, but the friendship between Noah, Purv and Raine was brilliantly observed. So yeah. I liked it. You can pre-order your own copy here.

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The Unquiet Dead by Ausma Zehanat Khan

One man is dead.

But thousands were his victims.

Can a single murder avenge that of many?

Scarborough Bluffs, Toronto: the body of Christopher Drayton is found at the foot of the cliffs. Muslim Detective Esa Khattak, head of the Community Policing Unit, and his partner Rachel Getty are called in to investigate. As the secrets of Drayton’s role in the 1995 Srebrenica genocide of Bosnian Muslims surface, the harrowing significance of his death makes it difficult to remain objective. In a community haunted by the atrocities of war, anyone could be a suspect. And when the victim is a man with so many deaths to his name, could it be that justice has at long last been served?

In this important debut novel, Ausma Zehanat Khan has written a compelling and provocative mystery exploring the complexities of identity, loss, and redemption.

Winner of the Barry Award, Arthur Ellis Award, and Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Award for Best First Novel.

I’ve been itching to read this book since receiving it from No Exit Press last month. I’m on the blog tour next week so you won’t have long to wait for my thoughts. Not always a comfortable subject to read about, it touches upon one of the darkest periods in recent European history. As I’ve literally only just finished reading, I’m going to sit and digest it a little while before writing my review. In the meantime, order yourself a copy of the book here.

…

So that’s it. Four books. Not too shabby. Not sure this will be as productive a week as Harrogate is likely to impinge on my reading a touch… I’ll give it a shot though and the travel means valuable audio book time so perhaps I can squeeze in at least a couple of titles by Sunday….

Busy week on the blog with a mix of reviews, book love and blog tours as per the norm.

Review: Cragside by L.J. Ross

#BlogTour Guest Post: Spark Out by Nick Rippington

#BookLove: Linda Hill

Killer: Chapter Three (or ‘I did warn you – these are actually getting worse…’)

#Blogtour review: The Stolen Girls by Patricia Gibney

#BlogTour Review: Dying To Live by Michael Stanley

Guest Review: Bored of the Rings by Rich Amooi

#BookLove: Catherine Kullman

Review: Nowhere Child by Rachel Abbott

The week ahead is once more pretty busy. I have more book love, blog tours and reviews to share. I start the week with a guest post from Malcolm Hollingdrake as part of the Dying Art blog tour. On Wednesday I’m finally able to share my review of The Other Twin by Lucy V Hay and on Friday I am thrilled to be opening the blog tour for Chris Curran’s new book, Her Deadly Secret. I have a little book love from Katherine Sunderland and Jane Cable and if I get time, maybe an update or two from Harrogate (but don’t hold your breath…)

And that’s it. Have a fabulous week of bookishness all. See you next week.

JL

Rewind, recap: weekly update w/e 16/07/17 My view this week. Well... Not strictly true as I didn't make it anywhere near Brixton or Victoria.