#once again i need to post to tumblr again my brains not big enough to cross post onto 2 sites

[dumbasslesbi2]

Detective (Agatha x Rio) Detective x FBI Agent AU

Summary:

Agnes was finally put back on a case but what she wasn't ready was for who else would be put on it. Based this off of the first episode but basically took out any and all of the witch stuff. Basically Detective Agnes x Agent Rio

Notes:

Tumblr finally let me post this fic! Please tell me if there's any misspelling or grammatically incorrect stuff, I have dyslexia so sometimes I miss so stuff.

Agnes woke up for work the same as she did everyday, with not enough sleep and a raging headache. She always wore the same outfit claiming that it “made it easier”. In reality, she knew it was from her laziness and didn’t have the effort to pick out different outfits daily. Which in fact led her to wearing her usual flannel and jeans as she always did. She went downstairs to get her much needed coffee, while waiting for her machine to finish she was stuck with her pile of files of her ongoing case. She was stuck with a Jane Doe and couldn’t figure out by any means who she could be. Agnes had been wandering all over the town for any clues for weeks now with everything leading to dead ends. She knew it was gonna end up with the chief sending in a third party and if there’s one thing Agnes doesn’t work with, it’s people. She hated having anyone else have control of her cases or have control of anything in her life. The beeping of her coffee machine broke her out of thought and she went to go fill up her thermostat. Finally she was all ready to go back to the station, able to go back to what she was good at and loved doing, solving cases.

“Morning Detective” said the police officers outside the station greeting Agnes back to where she belonged. “Morning boys, don’t get into too much trouble out there” she said back joking at the officers as she used to. Walking through the sliding doors she let out a breathe she didn’t know she was holding. It had been a while since she had been put on a case as big as this one and she didn’t want to fuck it up, not like before. “Agnes! We gotta talk” greeted the chief, walking towards her with an already stained shirt. “Chief we talked about this, if you’re gonna make breakfast smoothies you need to put a lid on, you already have two stains on your shirt” she said walking towards her office. “Oh, thanks Agnes but I ugh…” said the chief trying to get the stains out with a handkerchief he had. “I can already tell, you’re gonna tell me something I don’t like,” Agnes said, stretching in her office chair. “Soil samples from under the fingernails and toenails of the Jane Doe came back. They don’t match the soil she was lying in” he stated, still trying to take the stains out. “That’s no surprise. We assumed she’d been moved.” she retorted, still trying to get rid of a kink in her back. “There were traces of a particular microbial sediment only found in Eastern Europe-" "Now get to the part I’m not gonna like” she interrupted him getting annoyed with all the bullshitting. “Here I am,” a woman behind the chief said. Agnes sat semi shocked but she knew it was coming. This wasn’t just any other third party brought in on her case, it was Rio. Memories hit her back like a freight train, every I love you, every I hate you, and the worst of all, Nicholas.“Okay…” was all Agnes could say, she hadn’t seen her in years and as much as Agnes hated to admit it, she was just as beautiful as the day she left her, if not even more. However, she wasn’t going to let Rio see that.”Fancy dirt always attracts the attention of the Feds” she said, fixing her shirt to make sure Rio didn’t see how pathetic she had become. “Agent Vidal is an asset here, Agnes. More brain power and more resources mean you get to the finish line faster, strength in numbers.Teamwork makes the dreamwork-” the chief said knowing how much this was going to backfire but was once again interrupted by Agnes. “Eat my ass, Chief” she said, hoping he would leave the situation and not add more fuel to her ongoing fire. Rio couldn’t help but laugh a little bit, after all these years Agnes was still the same,still stubborn, still hot headed, still attractive . “I’ll leave it to you then” said the chief, leaving awkwardly.

Rio couldn’t help but scoff a little bit as she went to sit on the couch in Agnes’s office. “It’s been a long time” Rio couldn’t help but say with a bit of endearment. “What are you doing here?” said Anges with a harsh tone, not ready to face her ex-wife. “My job.” said Rio with her usual snarky attitude. “You wanna take control of my investigation.” stated Agnes with pointed eyes. “No” Rio said with a breath still thinking about how they used to be. “If you wanna be in control, you can be.” stated Rio, knowing how much Agnes hated anyone else being in charge of her cases. Agnes couldn’t help but lick her lips, still trying to keep on the topic of the case and not on Rio. “She…” Agnes paused for a bit, getting distracted by Rio. “The body was moved across state lines. Is that your play?” she stated, trying her hardest not to break in front of her ex lover. Rio looked around the room for a bit and couldn’t help but think of how they used to be. “Is this really how you see yourself?” Rio stated, keeping eye contact with Agnes even after getting no reply. Agnes knew the game she was playing, Rio always loved to play games with Agnes but she knew better than to give in right now. “Sure. Let’s talk about the case. What are your theories? How’d she end up in the ravine?” questioned Rio, seeing that Agnes wasn’t going to give in so easily. “No drag marks. Thinking the perp carried her” “Uh… Seems logical. But you don’t really believe that because… Oops.” Rio paused showing pictures from the scene.”No tracks for the perp. Not a leaf disturbed before Forensics showed up. It’s almost like she just magically appeared.” Rio stated, taking a seat on Agnes’s desk. Agnes couldn’t help but scoff a bit “Let’s stick to reality here, yeah?” “Sure” said Rio calmly, nodding her head in agreement. “If there’s one thing we can agree on,it’s that these cases are always about the place. The specific small town,the history of it, the people in it, the secrets buried beneath it. That’s where the answers lie.” she said keeping eye contact with Rio. However, Rio couldn’t help but look away and nod. She took in a breathe, thinking how typical it was of Agnes to not think out of the box. “Well, who better to solve the mystery than one of Westview’s very own? Yeah, you’ve lived here your whole life. Isn’t that true… Agnes?” Rio questioned, keeping eye contact once again with Agnes, hoping that she would at least break this time. Agnes was over it, she was done with Rio’s game. She got up and stood in front of the door, “I don’t want you here” she stated, letting Rio know she was done. Rio knew she was almost there but didn’t want to push it. She got up and started walking towards the door. “Te veo” Rio told her before leaving, she always had to have the last word.

Agnes couldn’t help but still be in the office till late, trying to solve the case. She was getting close to something, she could feel it. However, it just wasn’t making sense, to Agnes it had to be logical and make sense in some way but everything was leading her into unreal or unnatural. There was clues of something dark and sinister behind it but that didn’t work for Agnes. The supernatural wasn’t real or true to her, it needed to be something based in reality. “Go home Agnes” said the chief seeing Agnes was still in. “Iam home” stated Agnes, trying to hone in on a clue just as the light went out. “Hey!” yelled Agnes. “Go home.” stated the chief, not taking no as an answer. So she did just that, tired and achy she put her jacked and badge on the living room table. Seeing Rio had brought back too many memories that she had put away. She couldn’t help but go into a room she had looked at in years. Nicholas’s room. The memories of having him and being so happy with him and Rio came flooding back. Before she could even start crying about it again she heard a knock at her door. Swiftly she closed the door to go see who could be at her front door at this hour. “What” she stated annoyingly as she opened the door. What she didn’t expect was to see Rio, clearly holding something behind her back. “Did you know that it is a universally acknowledged truth that a lady cop cannot be good at her job and have a healthy personal life at the same time?” Rio stated, showing the pizza box she had hidden behind her back. “Hungry?” she questioned.

Agnes doesn’t know why but she let Rio in. At first it was awkward but after a couple beers and some pizza it was like they had never left each other. Rio couldn’t help but stay longer than she wanted to and next thing they’re having more beers and sitting in Agnes’s living room. Agnes sighs and continues her story “So she’s a rookie, granted, but I say to her, “Has the suspect been seen in the last 24 hours?” And she says, “Only on TikTok.” And then I say, “Well, did you learn anything?” And she says, “That I was totally using the wrong foundation brush.”” Agnes says laughing at her own story. Rio laughs along with her but can’t help but be enamored by Agnes, all these years later and she still feels the same way around her. She should equally be upset at Agnes like she is at her for leaving her all those years ago but she never could. She could never hate Agnes, she could only love her. While Agnes is still chuckling she hands Rio another beer and takes a sip. “I have a lead in the case.” Agnes states after a bit of silence. “That’s not why I came over.” Rio stated, trying to see if she could get her to break. After a bit of silence Rio gave up and said “But go ahead.” ”There was a car wreck, about an hour before time of death.” stated Agnes, not ready to face the actual topic of Rio yet.“Where?” Rio questioned, remembering she had an actual job to do sometimes. “Eastview.” “Eastview? See, I thought you turned into a pumpkin that far afield” stated Rio, knowing how much Agnes hated traveling and loved staying in her small town. “Hey, I travel. I’m worldly.” stated Agnes, knowing that it was a full on lie. Rio couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing that Agnes was bullshitting and just had to call her out on it, “Where have you traveled?” Agnes knew she was fucked and couldn’t say anything, Rio had gotten her this time. While Rio enjoyed moments like this, she couldn’t help feel a bit bad for Agnes and changed topics, “Okay, so what about the car wreck?” “Bloodstain in the back seat.” “You think that’s how they moved her?” “Front two airbags deployed.” “Maybe two perps?” “Maybe” Agnes said with a sigh, she knew there was more to it but didn't know what. “But you don’t like it” said Rio, still able to read Agnes like the back of her hand. “My gut tells me they’re related, but I can’t shake this feeling I’m seeing it wrong” said Agnes, still unsure of what she’s suppose to be seeing. “Can I ask you something?” asked Rio, unable to control herself anymore. “Yeah.” said Agnes without really thinking, she was still too focused on the case. “Do you remember why you hate me?” asked Rio holding eye contact. “No” replied Agnes almost instantly. “Are you hiding evidence?” she asked. “No” replied Agnes again almost instantly. “Well, you’re only lying to yourself.” stated Rio, taking another sip of her beer. “What do you-” before Agnes could finish asking her question she heard a noise coming from upstairs. She got up after she heard another rumble and checked her bedrooms upstairs. That’s when she saw the precipitator, “HEY! FREEZE!” she yelled and ran to get them but they escaped from the window. If there’s one thing Agnes wasn’t, it was a pussy so she said fuck it and went through the window. Only problem is that she wasn’t as in shape as she used to be and when getting down from the roof to follow her perp, she ended up slipping from the roof gutter. She didn’t care though, she got up and continued on foot to follow them. Luckily Mrs. Hart was driving and had almost hit them which gave Agnes enough time to get them while they were down and arrest them.

Agnes took him to the station but not without calling in Rio. Agnes doesn’t know why she called her and Rio doesn’t know why she actually showed up but here they both were. At one point in time this was how the two of them were, good cop bad cop. Well in reality, two bad cops just one was psychological and the other was your typical mean cop. “Well, he won’t give his name and he’s not in the system.” Agnes told Rio looking at them through one way glass. “First offense. He take anything from your place?” Rio asked, still not sure why she showed up for this. “No, but not for lack of trying. I think it’s time for a good old fashioned chat with Edward Scissorhands in there.” Agnes said ready to go and do her “bad cop”. “Go get your perp.” said Rio looking to the side, trying to suppress the feelings of old times she was having. Agnes stood there for a minute also reminiscing on themselves before nodding and heading in to get her perp.

“So I’m curious.What compelled you to break into the home of a decorated detective?” Agnes asked as she leaned back on the door. “When you say “decorated”, do you mean suspended without pay?” The teen boy asked while Agnes gave him a pointed look. “Yeah, I know who you are.” He said not caring what Agnes would do to him. “Let’s talk about you, then, you little dirtbag. Is B&E your regular gig?” said Agnes, still trying to put her best bad cop. “Hmm? ‘Cause you’re crap at it.” she said as she walked around the table.”What were you looking for in my house?” Agnes said while putting her files down on the table. “The respect of your peers and a fulfilling home life.But you were fresh out of both.” said the teen boy but was almost immediately on the ground after saying so. Agnes didn’t care anymore about keeping it tamed, she kicked his chair under. Rio grunted, knowing that this would happen and knocked on the glass giving Agnes a finger wave, she knew she always found it cute when she did that. Rio had always been the one who grounded Agnes when she got fired up, she always knew just what to do or say. Agnes put her hands up as an apology and let the teen get back in his chair. “See…The things that you’re roasting me for are the things that make me dangerous.” Agnes told the teen, which was very much the truth. Ever since losing Nicholas and leaving Rio, Agnes didn’t have anyone to control her, which is what led to her small suspension. She was now an untamed fire that stopped caring about anyone and everything. If anything the teen was lucky that Rio was there or else the situation would have taken a whole other turn. “So you wanna keep poking the bear?” Agnes asked him, giving the teen an intense stare that he could not look back to. He was finally intimidated by the detective and Agnes could tell. Her bad cop was finally working.”Good. Now…What were you after?” she asked, wanting to get this over. “I don’t know” he said unsure why he was doing what he was doing. “New question. Where were you last night between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 a.m.?” she asked not satisfied with his answers. “Asleep. In bed.” the teen told her honestly. “Asleep in bed.” she repeated while writing on a note pad. “Total LOSER? OR TOTALLY LYINGGGG, LET’S FIND OUT” she yelled while overexatrally writing everything on a note pad.”What do you know about this, huh?” she asked, showing him pictures of the body of the jane doe. “Nothing. Nothing!” He yelled looking at the pictures. “Tell me who she is!” Agnes demanded, now getting tired of his incorporation. “What are you talking about? These are just flowers!” He exclaimed, still not sure what she wanted from him. “What?” Anges asked, taken aback from his response.

“They’re just pictures of someone’s front yard or something” He explained, still not sure what answer she would want from him. Agnes looked down, she brought the wrong pictures. She had such a mess of files that she fucked up and brought the wrong pictures. “You got to be fucking kidding me” she exclaimed as she left the interrogation room. “You really got him right where you want him, don’tcha tiger” Rio told her just to tease her a little bit.” Don’t even start right now Vidal” sighed Agnes, still embarrassed from what happened. “Just let the kid go for now Agnes, I really don’t think he’s one of the perps sweetheart” Rio told Agnes, hoping the endearment would calm her down. Agnes sighed, still angered she knew Rio was right, Rio was always right. “Why don’t we let him go, I drive him home and then I’ll take you home, that sound good?” Rio asked in a soft tone that Agnes hadn’t heard in a while, god how she missed this. “Yeah, that sounds good, lemme let him out” Agnes said with her eyes closed, still taking in the whole situation. Agnes went back into the interrogation room “Alright, you’re free to go, Agent Vidal and I will be giving you a ride home, I know you didn’t want to give me your name but maybe you’ll want to give it to Agent Vidal” Agnes told him, holding the door open. ‘What?!? But I- I broke into your home! You chased me and everything?!” He asked in total shocked, ready to be stuck in a jail cell for the night. “Yeah well, I changed my mind, consider this a warning especially since you're a minor” Agnes said not looking at him. “Thank you, you’re not as bad as people say in this town” He said getting up and out of the room.

The car ride was awkward to say the least. After dropping off the teen the car was as silent as could be. Rio pulled up to Agnes house, unsure what to say. “Th-”said Agnes “I-” Rio interrupted, making them both shut up. “You go first, I’m sorry” said Rio. “Thanks for everything Rio. I uh, I missed this” Agnes said, not able to face Rio. Agent Vidal couldn’t help herself and touched Agnes hair, causing Agnes to moan. Agnes couldn’t help herself and turned back towards Rio and hugged her tight as she could. The both of them had been longing for each other’s touch since they saw each other. However, neither of them wanted to be the first one to break. Agnes pulled back and cradled Rio’s face, she noticed her lipstick had slightly smudged and fixed it with her thumb. She couldn’t stop herself anymore, she caved. Agnes moved in and kissed Rio, fuck their stupid game. She didn’t care anymore about not giving in, she broke. After a while they separated. “Stay the night, please” Agnes asked just above a whisper. “Of course” Rio responded, she couldn’t say no to Agnes, she never could.

[onthewaytosomewhere]

okay since i've been hit or miss on this lately setting his up to post now since i posted fic and it's the obvious choice for sentences lol

so i posted a sequel of sorts to that Alex beats off to thoughts of Shaan at Kensington post-cakegate fic

it was called henry had sex dreams about shaan and drunkenly hit on him and alex just needs to know all about it on the word doc but it's actually titled in my dreams, at oxford, still with those damn pajama pants and it's just smutty smutty smut and has a tumblr post and everything lolz

okay so sunday i got some tags from wonderful people and i was a slacker who had her nose buried in a fic doc so i didn't post anything except for that fic at like the end of the day lolz

so @suseagull04 @firstprincehornyramblings @sophie1973 @run-for-chamo-miles @taste-thewaste

@tailsbeth-writes @porcelainmortal @thighzp thanks so much for the sunday tags i'm now gonna flip them back to you for wed tags cuz that's how i roll

and a big old open tag for anyone else who want to play along and some no-pressure call-outs under the cut along with the smutty words for this week (ur not surprised they're smut lolz)

also - fuck i was ramble-y TL:DR i posted a fic sequel to that one other fic and am flipping some tags from sunday back to them

“Tell me, how much being around him made you think about getting your mouth on his cock for real? Did Oxford Henry want his equerry to fuck his mouth? What other parts did your slutty ass want him to put that cock into?” Alex nips his way across his hip and down to the juncture of his thigh and groin, and Henry bucks up into the contact. “Fuck, Alex, I wanted him to fuck my mouth so bad. It made my dreams filled with nothing but that. For a while, I would dream about it every night, and …” Henry gasps when Alex licks up his cock. Alex’s mouth around the tip of Henry’s cock, tonguing at his slit and foreskin, makes Henry moan—he pulls off and asks, “When did those dreams of Shaan fucking you start? When did your horny lil brain move past getting your mouth around him to getting your ass around that cock?” “Oh, fuck,” Henry whispers with a moan. “I—it was not long, all it took was one night where the person I thought I was hooking up balked at the whole NDA thing, and Shaan had to put me, sloshed off my arse, to bed once again. Let’s just say those threadbare pajama pants you saw him in—well, he’s always seemed to wear them until they fall apart. If I could have made my drunk mind function enough to form the words, I’m sure I would have hit on him that night.”

tag ur it! @adreamareads @anincompletelist @bitbybitwrites @blueeyedgrlwrites @catdadacd

@caterpills @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise @dragonflylady77 @duchessdepolignaca03

@emmalostinwonderland @england-would-fall @everwitch-magiks @firenati0n @firstsprinces

@forever-fixating @getmehighonmagic @heysweetheart-writes @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @inell

@inexplicablymine @itsmaybitheway @jellibuns @jmagnabo92 @judasofsuburbia

@kiwiana-writes @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @mikibwrites @myheartalivewrites

@ninzied @nocoastposts @orchidscript @piratefals @priincebutt

@softboynick @sparklepocalypse @stellarmeadow @thedramasummer @cactusdragon517

@theprinceandagcd @thesleepyskipper @thinkof-england @tinyarmedtrex @typicalopposite

@zwiazdziarka @stratocumulusperlucidus @basil-bird @eusuntgratie @bigassbowlingballhead

[batsrambles]

just finished reading the raven boys, so while i wait for dream thieves to arrive at my door, here's the innacurate way my brain imagined the gang:

spoilers. if that's needed. plus warning, this is hella long

BLUE:

• sorry ok i could not imagine her with anything but blue hair. like a dark almost purply blue, the kind you could get away with by pretending it's black. i am 100% sure everyone and their mom imagined her with blue hair but shhhh my tumblr post my rules.

• big ol eyes. starin into your soul. idk why. felt right. my brain was like hmm magnet for energy = big ol starin eyes? window to soul? i think yes.

• back to the hair i could only imagine it like. spiky. like goth girl's first time cutting her own bangs. or like the animal crossing bed head hair when you don't log in for a couple of days and pop back up. half way through i reminded myself she has at least a tiny ponytail and can't have hair THAT short but oh well

• the clothes i kept imagining her with flopped from scene to like cottagecore but bright ass colours. so not cottagecore at all but like. the dresses skirts cardigans all that. but bright. honestly she's fashion goals in my head

• also unrelated but she'd def choose rosalina in any game she's an option. queen

GANSEY:

• play that funky muuusic whiiite boouuuyyy. except that mf has been like around the world in 80 days and does nawt stop running around after the ley lines so he is definitely not paper pale unlike someone

• i knowww he doesn't have glasses on for the majority of the book but i could NOT imagine him without them at all. like it was a shock any time it was mentioned he did have them on my brain had to buffer like "did he not. always have. them.??.????". the round metal frame kind, with nose pads, and rose-gold in colour

• brown eyes feel right for him. sad ol deer baby eyes

• also i kept. reading his lines. in an australian accent? i read a lot in public & i live in australia so thats probably why. i mixed it in with irish sometimes and i think that's because halfway through a page i'd start reading in my own voice in my head rather than making character voices. idk what was happening in my head

• i imagine he walked into a store once, looked at the shelves with all the polo shirts, took one of every colour, hasn't grown since so hasn't needed any other clothes, and has one specific colour for every day of the week + special occassions. also like seven pairs of the exact same shorts and wears his school shoes everywhere

ADAM:

• green eyes. but the browny kind. green-brown. hazel? idk. yk what i mean

• i also imagine he's Had the baby's first home-haircut thing goin on, then it grew out because imagine having time to go get a haircut with all he's got going on. he's the guy that's always holding his own fringe back with a hand to fucking see. he's definitely been forced to tie it up like a unicorn horn more than once. also don't think the back is safe. it's not long enough for an actual ponytail but it's thick enough for another unicorn horn

• freckles. drops mic. walks away. idc. he's the kinda guy to be freckly everywhere. won't elaborate. i don't think this is an uncommon opinion like blue and her blue hair

• also a mole like on his jaw. idk why. sitting here tryna imagine the characters n that's what i see so.

• also also i know his hair is "dusty" but my brain interpreted that as dirty blond when i think it's blond blond so oops

• also also also braces. idk why. he's a dork

• i read his lines in like a vaguely texan accent. Vaguely. idk why again. it's not like he's ever said anything to warrant that. i think i did a british accent at the start too 😭 sorry adam you didn't deserve that

can you tell i really like adam parrish

NOAH:

• looooong hair. worse than i imagined adam. like noah's is straight as fuck too. i also imagined he hunches just a lil bit, so his hair would be like half covering his face

• and i knowwww it's hella innacurate but fsr my brain saw him with pitch-black hair.

• so yes as you can tell i was imagining that one girl out of the tv yk the one whenever noah just appeared out of thin air. which was before i found out he was dead dead and not depressed-mentally-dead dead, so you can imagine the face i pulled like "oh fuck i was kidding when i imagined him ghostly"

• and after that point he got like rlly prominent cheekbones in my brain, like skeletal

• i also actually imagined him as rlly tall. idk why. it just felt right. like an ominous shadow in the distance

• also also how could he not have like THE 2000s emo fringe. HOW COULD HE NOT

• also also also tooth gap idk why feels right felt right will always be in my head

my favourite little freak. fav character. was so distraught when they found his license

RONAN:

• i am incapable of tanning like at all i just get sun burnt or more freckly so i can only imagine ronan as the same

• also i could only imagine him as lanky as fuck for 90% of the book. i know he's nooooot i just. i couldn't imagine anything but tall and lanky. it was only after the chapter with adam's dad that i gave in and stopped imagining him with twig arms

• like adam, i also imagined him with freckles but like, not everywhere like adam, just in very specific spots. he's got more moles than he does freckles. so i wouldn't really describe it as freckly the way i imagined adam freckly. confused? good.

• also my brain associated him with a dark purple. idk why again. it just. it feels right.

• i feeeel like he'd have too many piercings but can't get away with half of them because damn private schools

• fuzzy head. like a kiwi. icr if he's meant to be skin tight shaved but my brain went to kiwi straight away regardless

• i just stuck to my own accent for him once i figured out he was irish. which if you must know,,, is a sometimes subtle and sometimes really unsubtle kildare accent. i doubt it's right but it works in my head

can you imagine the shock i felt shaving my head two or three days before my book came in the mail and found out ronan lynch exists. and he's irish too. bro. like mind blown. ok. i see. we are one ig maybe. idk let me read more books and report back.

i am aware there is the graphic novel (!!!) designs and stuff so i'm. waaaaaaaaay off but. let me have this i'm autistic abt these freaks

[polyklok]

Movies I think Dethklok members would really like

No this is not based on anything I’m just in a mood™ rn

Nathan Explosion

Mad God

So, no, I did not have any ounce of an idea of what this movie was about when I originally watched it, and I’m still not 100% sure tbh but an hour and a half of these pure vibes would totally be up Nathan’s alley. The post-apocalyptic setting, all the gore, the details of the various monsters, and I think he would just really appreciate it from an artist’s standpoint as well. This movie would just resonate with him, even if he wouldn’t have a fucking clue what was going on the whole time.

Mary and Max

I’m, personally, a bit on-the-fence about this movie, but it is undeniably sweet and I headcanon Nate to be on the spectrum so 🤷

This would be, like, his guilty pleasure film. The movie he knows is for kids and is totally not brutal but he loves it anyway. The, “I do not feel disabled, defective, or a need to be cured” really hits for him every single time. He rewatches it at least once every few months, especially when he’s in some sort of emotional slump.

Mandy

Another one that just like, like, big Nathan energy, you know? He just seems like a guy to really love loose plots with trippy visuals and strong emotions attached to them. Also, this movie is so completely badass, it is certified metal in his book. He also finds the story incredibly tragic; having the love of your life stripped away from you in such circumstances really tugs at his heartstrings, but in a way that gets him pumped up rather than sad. This is probably his go-to when people ask, “what’s your favorite movie?”

Pickles the Drummer

Son in Law

Okay this is my guilty pleasure movie. I usually don’t like stoner-comedy from the 90s, but this movie hits different. Maybe I just find Crawl hot. Anyway, I’m projecting that onto Pickles. He honestly probably finds a lot of crappy comedies to be peak film, and this is no exception. Pauly Shore pretending to be a country boy for a whole movie? Hells yeah. Pickles would watch while high off his mind, laughing his butt off and going to town on some cheez-its or something. And you know what? He deserves it.

Opal

I’m counting short films because I feel like Opal is the movie for Pickles. He’d watch it on a whim, because these are not usually the types of things he enjoys, and then he’d in tears over the emotional rollercoaster he did not agree to go on. Like, he grew up in a neglective household with authority figures that were overly-selfish and projected their own problems onto the youngest one in the house, to which he had to hide within his own brain more often than not just to properly function. And then he just…watched it happen all again in the hypnotic style of Jack Stauber. The Mom’s song had him in gasping tears for a while, the way you get when a movie somehow perfectly captures your own trauma right in front of you. And the ending??? Ugh. Go watch Opal, guys, it’s on YouTube.

Nathan and Pickles both get very emotional about certain stop-motion films, isn’t that crazy?

House

Thank you to Lucy for this Letterbox review that I think he would write

Anyway-

This movie is actually so insane. It’s not scary in a horror-movie way, like it meant to be, it’s scary as in ‘What the hell is happening and why do I understand it?’ Pickles doesn’t like most traditional horror films, as the long, quiet suspense bores him and the sudden jumpscares freak him the hell out way more than they should. But he loves the campy-wacko-type horror that they were apparently making in 70s Japan. It’s just scary enough to get his heart pumping, but the pure silliness of it all overrides that, getting him in a giddy mood and excited to see what happens next.

(No I am not done but tumblr won’t let me add more pictures)

[verysium]

what do you read in your spare time? you’re one of the most eloquent users i know, id love to hear how you find the media you consume and what your favorites are

omg ei 😊 welcome back to the inbox! thank you for your sweet words although i'm probably not qualified enough to be considered the full definition of eloquent. i am going to preface this post by saying that i definitely don't read as much as i should, so this list is not going to be comprehensive whatsoever. the last time i even visited an in-person library was like half a decade ago, and since then my spare time has been nonexistent lmao. anyways, here are some of my favorite/most recent reads as listed by author:

POETRY

richard siken: i think siken is already well-known both in the literary world and in whatever booktok deems is popular culture. if you don't already know him though, he is best known for his poetry collection crush, which delves into themes of obsession, gay love, and violent eroticism. i actually read this chapbook unknowingly. as in i was hounding sketchy pdf download sites at 3 AM and saw a man with bloodied lips on the cover and decided to read it. he basically became my summer fever dream after that. the way he juxtaposes images is seamless, smoother than water. only richard siken can talk about violence without making it sound violent. i also enjoyed his other poetry collection war of the foxes, especially "portrait of fryderyk in shifting light." i think light is a common motif throughout most of his poems, and he manipulates it effortlessly. the most recent piece i read from him is "piano lesson." i have nothing left to say that he didn't already say, so i would just recommend reading it for yourself. he is the og big brain when it comes to word play.

ocean vuong: he's unforgettable, and i mean that literally because nobody forgets a person named ocean. time is a mother was exactly what the name suggests: an exploration of grief, loss, and the rewind of time after his mother's death. some of the poems are almost cinematic in quality. "künstlerroman" is my favorite because it feels exactly like watching a video tape in reverse. i think his most famous work is "someday i'll love ocean vuong." it was the first piece i ever read from him, and to this day, it remains my comfort poem.

silas denver melvin: i only recently discovered him through his chapbook grit. i think he's also on tumblr @/sweatermuppet. he writes a lot on the trans experience, and his work gives me a mix of southern gothic and country vibes. would definitely read his other publications if i had the time.

chen chen: one thing about chen chen is that he always comes to devour. my favorite works from him are "self-portrait as so much potential" and "song of the anti-sisyphus." you have to put on your thinking cap for some of his poems, but once you grasp the meaning, everything makes sense all at once.

franny choi: "disaster means without a star" was the entire inspiration behind my first rin fic. i relate to her more personally in regards to the diaspora experience, but her collections are worth reading in general because of the sheer quality.

pages matam: his poem "piñata" was what got me into slam poetry. his work mostly consists of political commentary which i feel is particularly relevant in today's social climate. "on learning america's english" also resonates with people who have encountered the entire losing/learning immigrant tongues experience.

laura lamb brown-lavolie: i've only read one spoken word poem from her, and tbh i only needed to read one. "on this the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the titanic, we reconsider the buoyancy of the human heart" is my two-headed calf poem. one day i will get this tattooed.

brendan constantine: once again, this was the result of me being chronically online coupled with the boredom of an august heat wave. i found "the opposites game" through TED. honestly, i was a bit unsure about it at first, but it's a cute little poem that makes you really delve into the intricacies of craft.

TEEN POETRY & PROSE

yasmeen khan: she could mouth her words onto every square inch of my body, and i would still be coming back for more. ingraining them into flesh is not enough. "movie stars" is by far my favorite work from her. she writes about femininity and womanhood so profoundly. it's tragic, but really i wouldn't have it end any other way.

kaya dierks: her writing is basically middle-of-nowhere small town stoner teenage life but personified. "crushed" is my favorite piece from her. the soundtrack for this work was definitely by ethel cain, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

FICTION

madeline miller: i was first introduced to her when i read the song of achilles. let's just say that book had me nonverbal for the greater half of three months. it was my metaphorical hatchet. i buried it once, and i never want to dig it up again. i read circe a few years later. the first time was during the blue hour at an airport, right between one red-eye flight and another transfer. i don't even remember that experience because i was heavily sleep-deprived. i read it again recently for a literature course, this time for academic analysis. overall, i enjoy the the heroine-centric narrative. typically, i'm a bit wary of novels with heavy feminist themes because they either project their agenda too strongly or they run the risk of misrepresentation. circe doesn't exactly have that problem. it was more about empowerment and less about exercising power over others.

charlotte brontë: as a historical figure, brontë was questionable, but jane eyre most certainly was not. that book rewired my brain, and that is saying something because i have never read any classic by choice. and it is so important to me that jane was the ugliest, plainest girl you could ever imagine. also cus i unironically enjoy angst, and this book was full of dramatic misunderstandings.

yoko ogawa: i love japanese literature, so there is no reason not to include this one here. "a peddler of tears" is one of my favorite short stories. i did not expect the ending at all, but it was welcome. something about violence, body gore, and dismemberment being framed as romantic and semi-erotic just gets to me. sign me the hell up. hotel iris is a hit-or-miss with some people. either you like the fact that art makes you uncomfortable or you shut it down completely. for me, i was alright with exploring some of its darker themes, but read at your own discretion.

NONFICTION

ross gay: he lives up to his name both in optimism and in carefree joy. probably one of my favorite creative nonfiction authors simply based off the accessibility of his writing style. easy to read and understand but still hits you with the full force of a semi-truck. i would recommend his book inciting joy. it's a collection of essays that delve into grief, but since this is ross gay, he makes it seem like a quintessential part of life.

paul kalanithi: sixteen-year-old me was mind blown by him cus before that doctors were shrewish old men with bald spots and sterile coats, not poetic surgeons who dissected the anatomy of word and recited t.s. eliot in the most heart-wrenching way possible. he is everything i want to become in both life and death. when breath becomes air literally does take your breath away.

[oleander-nin]

Smoke and Mirrors(Bakugō Katsuki x Reader)

A/N, not important: Oh wow look, something I forgot to ever post(jk this was written b4 I had a tumblr). Uh, sorry about it, I just felt like y'all needed to suffer too. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: old writing, female hinted(sorry), reader puts on makeup, seriously I wrote this a long time ago, Bakugo being a jerk, rejected confession, badly written sad, not beta read, honestly I haven't read this since I last wrote it like 2ish years ago

Words: 1100

Summary: Yes or No may be the normal answers to a confession, but Bakugō can always find something worse to say.

Just being near Bakugō Katsuki was intoxicating. The way a slight smell of caramel and smoke drifted from him, the way his bright red eyes shined in the light, the way his facial expressions changed as he was thinking things over. Even his brash, can-do attitude enticed you. There were so many factors pulling you into him. Not that any of this mattered to him though.

"Hah! How could I ever love someone as useless as you? You’re worse than Deku, always blabbing on and on about stupid things and being such a crybaby when you get scared." He said, mocking you. The same ruby red eyes that once drew you in were now throwing you out, flashing with anger and disgust at you merely being in his presence. How rude can this guy get? All this hatred for a simple confession? Tears started brimming at your eyes as you tried to control your breathing, not particularly wanting to break down in front of him and have his opinion about you being a crybaby be confirmed.

"I'm sorry if my confession offended you, just thought you'd wanna know." You retorted, turning on your heel as you left the classroom, wiping your eyes as you went. "Sorry for wasting your time Bakugō, it won't happen again".

"It'd better not! Come near me again with any sappy stuff and I'll blast yer brains in!"

Whoever said 'the worst they can say is no' has obviously never met someone like Bakugō. All you could do is hold in your tears as you walked away from class 1A and back into your dorm room. You were so glad you decided to do this at the end of the day and not during lunch like you originally planned. Your pace turned into a borderline run, wanting to go to your dorm room as soon as possible. You open the door to the 1-A dorms as the dam finally breaks, tears running down your face as you walk in.

Fortunately, Tsuyu and Uraraka were the only two people in the dorms at the moment. Unfortunately, they were in the dorms at the moment and witnessed you walk through the dorm like the mess you are. Both of them turn their attention away from the television and onto you, your face red and puffy from holding back the tears now pouring down your face.

***

Tsuyu and Uraraka trying to comfort you was a really sweet gesture, and it was kinda helping. Not really, but it's the thought that counts. You stared at the ceiling as they consoled you about the harsh rejection Bakugo gave you.

"It isn't like his opinion really matters, you'll get over him soon enough! Plus, now you don't have to worry about whether or not he likes you, so that's nice. And you shouldn’t be worrying much about dating anyways, we're just first-years.” Uraraka says cheerfully. You appreciated her trying her best to comfort you, you had no idea what you would do without her here to help. Cry probably, but that's beside the point. You were a bit jealous of Ochako though, not that you’d ever admit it. She never has to worry about Midoryia insulting her when she finally gets the courage to confess to him. 

Tsuyu nods her head in agreement with Ochako. “He was a big jerk, ribbit, but now you know just how big of a jerk he was, so it might be easier to lose the crush on him, ribbit.”. You groaned and turned over, shoving your face into your soft pillow. 

“Maybe you guys are right. I might be able to get over him now. I wish I didn't have to though. Hearing him say all that really hurt.” You said, although your words were a bit muffled as you haven't removed your face from your pillow just yet. Tsuyu nods in agreement to your last statement, rubbing your back comfortingly. Both Ochako and Tsuyu leave, but not before giving you a few more speeches on how amazing you are, and how Bakugou never deserved you anyway. It felt nice to know they cared about you, even if Bakugou didn’t.

Your eyes felt heavy as you thought about the day, silent tears falling down your face as you came to terms with the fact that your crush called you useless. That he thought no more of you than the dirt under his boot. And as much as you hate to admit it, it hurts. It hurts so, so very bad.

When you finally fell asleep, your eyes were red and puffy, your lips swollen from being chewed and bitten so much to try to keep quiet. And if a few sobs escaped despite your valiant efforts last night? Well, nobody has to know.

***

Waking up was hard in the morning. Well, it always was, but today especially. Your alarm went off at a time that felt way too early to be right, your head feels like it’s being crushed in a vice, and your face was still hot and gross looking from all the crying you did last night. All in all, you felt like garbage. You dawdled your way through getting dressed. It isn’t like brushing your teeth a bit longer and more tired than usual really matters. Who really cares if it takes you a few extra minutes to get your tie right, your hands were feeling numb anyway. And so what if your makeup was really only partially done? Not like anyone would notice. You only were using it to cover up your face because it still had some evidence of tears.

The walk to class also took you longer than usual. Who could blame you though, with your headache and heavier than usual limbs? You barely noticed you were moving, and were surprised when you looked up to see the classroom door. You open it begrudgingly and trudge in, happy to have finally made it, but dreading all the schoolwork you have to do today. Iida’s all too loud voice welcomes you, and you know it’s with good intention, but you can’t help but glare at the unwanted sound that's now echoing throughout your head. You deliberately avoid eye-contact with Bakugo, choosing to look around the already familiar room instead. You plop down in your seat behind Midoriya, finding your notebook and a pencil so you can be ready for whatever Aizawa Sensei throws at you. You look at the back of Bakugo’s head one last time and close your eyes. Your friends were right, love really isn’t all that worth it.

[abyssalpeach]

up against the ropes (a matcha blossom fic). rated e. also on ao3.

"Are you sure you don't have a concussion?" Kojiro's voice lowered to a hoarse whisper.

"Positive."

a/n: i promise this started out totally normal and achingly tender before the brain worms whispered The Unholy Headcanon to me. pls forward this to my lawyer for when they come to take me away to horny jail.

anyway cheers to posting fic on tumblr again because somebody around here needs to start clogging the mb tag

Life was slowly returning to normal after the fateful S tournament where Langa had thoroughly whooped Ainosuke’s ass at his own game and Kaoru came out the other end seriously injured.

He had sustained a sprained ankle, a minor concussion, and the big one: a hairline fracture to his wrist.

He’d been lucky enough through the years to be a skilled and precise enough skater to avoid most injuries that would impede his work, but his luck had to run out eventually. Kaoru was honestly surprised it took even this long. He was not immune to bailing every once in a while.

But now his skating had massively affected his income for the first time in his entire adult life. It was a good thing he was self-employed and in an artistic profession where he could make his own rules and use art block as an excuse to push a deadline a little, but it didn’t stop him from feeling uncomfortable with it.

His injuries on the other hand, were harder to explain away when they were so visible. He had to come up with an excuse at some point, and for someone with as much pride and poise as Kaoru, a nasty spill down the stairs was simply not a believable reason.

So, he told the truth. At least, as much of it as he was comfortable telling. He fell off a skateboard. Whether they inferred that he was a novice and simply trying to entertain one of his young relatives was none of his concern. They could think what they like.

He would’ve rather said that he’d gotten hit by a car, but it would surely look suspicious if he wasn’t involved in any kind of investigation or trial afterwards. Best to stick as close to the real story as possible and let people draw their own conclusions.

People were surprisingly generous with him during his time of injury. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised, but his clientele always struck him as being fairly rigid. That’s why he took out all of his piercings and did his best to compartmentalize the different areas of his life. The resistance he was expecting to be met with when he was forced to push back dates for demonstrations and signing events was practically non-existent.

These things happen, they would say, as if he wasn’t a twenty-something year old professional admitting to falling off a skateboard. The reactions had him questioning whether or not he needed to be so cautious with his presentation and reputation after all.

There were too many things going on in his life that he was second-guessing now. Nothing was what it seemed to be anymore and he’s not entirely sure what to make of it. Kaoru spent so much time doing calculations, statistics, risk assessments, and not even the data could support the litany of weird shit he was enduring the past few months.

He really had come to terms with the fact that he was always going to be a little bit in love with Kojiro. He was always the nurturing sort, but he’d never gotten to experience it to that degree before. They spent every waking hour together for three whole weeks and somehow hadn’t killed each other yet.

Kaoru knew he was a needy person, and a jealous one at that. If he took it out on Kojiro unnecessarily sometimes, he was met with retaliation, and rightly so. He just couldn’t help himself. Kojiro could slut himself out to whoever he chose, but Kaoru would be damned if any of those women received the five-star treatment from Kojiro that he got.

No one could rile Kojiro up like he could. No one could critique Kojiro’s cooking like he could. No one could understand Kojiro like he could. Sure, they may have his bed for a night if they were lucky, but Kaoru held onto Kojiro’s heart with a vice grip and wouldn’t relinquish it for anything.

If Kaoru was going to be forced to live a life without enduring romance or marriage, he would make sure Kojiro was too. They were in this together, god dammit, they had been since they were in fucking kindergarden. They’ve done everything together for decades, that wasn’t about to change.

Maybe it wasn’t the best mentality for him to have, actually he knew it wasn’t, but he couldn’t exactly talk himself out of his own feelings. Lord knows he’s tried to do that enough times over the years. A crush on his straight best friend and the biggest fuckboy in town. It was so embarrassing.

It was honestly kind of sick, this game that he’s been playing with Kojiro in his own mind. Maybe he just liked the thrill of the chase or always wanted things he couldn’t have and wouldn’t even know what to do if he got what he wanted, but these thoughts remained in the back of his mind throughout the years and all their petty squabbles. Life changes, but Kojiro never does.

He really needed to be less selfish. It’s not as though he deserved Kojiro’s kindness. The man has surely spent an ungodly amount of money throughout the years just to feed him. He probably writes it off as a business expense on his taxes, the damned fool.

“You’re my taste tester,” Kojiro rationalized. “I shamelessly use your discerning palette and instead of paying you in money, you would rather be paid in carbonara. You’re doing me a service.”

He’d do him a service alright. Glorious idiot.

It was a special kind of torture sharing space with him for so long. Waking up to breakfast in bed, afternoons spent doing nostalgia rewatches of their favorite stupid childhood shows, elaborate dinners, being bathed by him. It was… intimate. There really was no other word for it. Every night they parted ways after Kojiro had diligently washed his hair and dragged a soapy cloth across his back, every night he expected the tension to get the better of them, and every night Kojiro eased Kaoru into bed and excused himself to the couch.

And that was it. The cast and splint came off and Kojiro went home. His entire routine had been disrupted now. He had gotten used to all of the attention and care. And they still hadn’t killed each other. That part continued to baffle him. He didn’t feel smothered. Kojiro wasn’t sick to death of his neurotic behavior. If anything, he felt closer to Kojiro than ever before. It was like there was a seismic shift in the earth under him and he was, what? Expected to go back to how things were before? Fat chance.

He was able to repeat the same movements as before, going to Sia la Luce after he finished up with clients for the day, going to S together, working on improvements for Carla well into the night before passing out under the kotatsu. But something was missing. Big surprise, it was Kojiro. He hardly needed Carla to spell that one out for him.

It’s later than usual by the time he arrives at Sia la Luce, the lights in the dining room are already off, save for the ones above the counter he’s claimed as his own. The door is unlocked, but Kojiro is nowhere in sight.

He wanders into the kitchen to see if there’s something in the cooler worth raiding, but he finds his best friend casually sitting on the floor.

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” Kojiro brings the bottle of whatever he’s drinking up to his mouth.

“That’s alright, I was overstepping my boundaries anyway.”

Kojiro lets out a thunderous laugh. “I hardly have boundaries when it comes to you, but good of you to own up to it.”

“Shut up, asshole,” he laughs. It’s a bit awkward. They need to have a serious conversation for once, and they both know it. “By the way, I... wanted to thank you.” Kaoru avoided his gaze, weight shifting between his feet.

Kojiro simply stared, not sure he was hearing that correctly. Kaoru continued, “For taking care of me.”

That seems to please him. “Somebody’s gotta do it. Not like Carla can carry you to bed.”

“Oh, fuck off. I’m trying to be nice.”

“You could certainly stand to do it more often, considering how much I feed you.”

Kaoru smiles softly, gaze dropping to his feet. “What are you doing on the floor anyway?”

“Having a beer, obviously. Want one?” Kaoru shook his head, moving to join him on the floor. He continued, “It was just a long day. Feet hurt.”

“Chairs too sophisticated for neanderthals now?” It almost sounded like a pet name.

“Is work going alright? How’s your wrist?”

“I’m fine, Kojiro. You don’t need to worry after me, you know.”

“Somebody should.” His answering smile is almost sad.

Silence fell heavily between them. Carla could never give him this. Ainosuke certainly never did. It was just Kojiro. Always Kojiro. “Would it be weird to say that I miss you?”

“I hope not, because I miss you too.”

“We should do something. See a movie, maybe.”

“We should. A movie sounds great actually, there’s one I was kinda wanting to see.” Kojiro pulls his phone out and is looking up showtimes, forwarding him a link to the trailer as he goes. It doesn’t look half bad for an action movie. It looks fun and fairly mindless, as they tend to be.

It’s a bit late and they’ve missed the last showing of the night, but they make a plan to go tomorrow. They settle back into their companionable, if slightly awkward, silence. Kojiro nurses his beer and Kaoru steals glances at his large hands, veiny and strong. His motions are not his own as he reaches for one and holds their palms up together, noting the difference in size.

Kojiro’s hands have always been a morbid fascination of his. He just likes to suffer, apparently. They’re large, but dextrous, with a couple prominent veins down the back. There’s some hair there now, not much, but it certainly wasn’t there when they were younger. What’s always been there is the smattering of freckles. Loathe as he is to admit it, he loves when Kojiro gets really tan and the freckles come out even more.

Kojiro’s hands have a couple burns on them and are a bit calloused from all the cooking and skating and working out. It almost makes him wish his own hands had half as much character. They’re soft and slender, not even particularly masculine, just generic. The only noteworthy thing about his hands is what they’re able to create.

Perhaps in this moment, he could use his hands to express the depth of his feelings to Kojiro. Something to avoid having to say it out loud.

Kojiro is watching their hands with rapt attention, his eyes soft but… pained? Before Kaoru can get the wrong idea about Kojiro rejecting him in that moment, he finds their fingers laced together. He’s never felt so warm.

“Kaoru…”

His face is so close. Kaoru can feel his warm breath on his cheek. He can feel his own blush. He dares a look into Kojiro’s eyes and finds everything he could’ve ever hoped for, but was too scared to imagine.

“Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?” Kojiro’s voice lowered to a hoarse whisper.

“Positive.”

Kojiro’s hand was in his hair, bringing him close to brush their lips together, breathing him in before sealing his mouth over his. A pathetic noise rose from Kaoru’s chest, barely escaping his throat. Kojiro wanted to swallow it. Their hands were everywhere, tangled in hair, tracing along faces, scrambling at arms and shoulders.

They kiss just long enough for reality to sink in, pulling back with startled gasps.

He supposes astonishment is the best adjective to describe the look Kojiro gives him now. His own expression surely isn’t much different. But Kojiro raises their entwined hands to his mouth and presses a soft kiss to the back of his hand.

“Are you hungry,” he asks, as if they haven’t just crossed a line they hadn’t dared tread in the twenty years they’ve known each other. Kaoru nods slowly before letting his forehead rest against Kojiro’s.

“I’ll make your favorite,” his voice is a low rumble, sending shivers down Kaoru’s spine. Kojiro’s knees give an ominous crack when he rises from the floor, making him groan and Kaoru chuckle quietly.

“We’ll see who’s laughing when you get carpal tunnel. Don’t forget you’re next, pinky,” his smile is more disarming than ever, with hand outstretched to assist him off the floor. Kaoru takes the proffered hand, but not without getting in a jibe of his own.

“Maybe if you spent a little less time doing squats…”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not checking out my ass.” Kojiro’s laugh is thunderous when he sees Kaoru floundering for a comeback, knowing he’s been busted.

The rest of the evening passes without any more shocking revelations. Mostly it’s just… normal. There might be marginally less bite to their bickering and the glances they exchange might be a bit more tender, but it’s far from unusual. It’s familiar, and he knows that he’s safe, no matter what that kiss will mean for their relationship when tomorrow comes.

He waits next to the front door while Kojiro finishes locking up. The night air is crisp, the breeze cool instead of warm – a sign that the weather is about to turn from scorching heat to mild and temperate. They may not have seasons in the traditional sense, but it’s not as though it can be hot all the time.

Kojiro walks him home, gentleman that he is. Kaoru would read into it if this wasn’t already part of their routine. A routine they’re so entrenched in that they part ways with a “see you tomorrow” and a friendly wave. No fanfare, no trepidatious kiss to the cheek, nothing.

It’s disappointing really.

He’s mostly on autopilot as he readies himself for bed, thoughts consumed by what tomorrow might bring, mixed in with visions of that tender kiss. His toothpaste foams at the corner of his mouth and the blush sits high on his cheeks. He looks insane.

What kind of giddy teenager has he turned into? He’s a grown man , he should not be so affected by a simple kiss that happened an hour and a half ago.

He hunkers down into his futon and tries to shake it off.

His dreams are of crimson eyes, so soft, and lips that are even softer.

*****

They decide to just meet up at the movie theater since Kojiro bought their seats ahead of time. He tried to pay him back, but Kojiro refused.

God, it was like a real date and they were fighting over the stupid check.

He’s wearing pants for a change. Well, they’re still hakama, he isn’t being too adventurous, but he did pair it with a black halter top. He really ought to wear these pants more. They’re a light sage green color and decorated with small white flowers. He knows they look good with his hair and the fabric feels downright sensual against his skin.

When Kojiro rounds the corner, he doesn’t spot Kaoru right away, giving him a chance to drink his fill of the sight of him. He’s got his black bomber on this time, the one with the leather sleeves that he typically only wears for special occasions.

He’s so fucked.

When they do finally lock eyes, Kojiro’s entire face lights up and strides over to meet him. He does not miss the appreciative way he looks Kaoru up and down. He shifts on his feet, unaccustomed to Kojiro being so brazen with him.

“You look great!” He’s honestly such a child, he’s so giddy. It’s charming as hell.

They head into the theater, making small talk along the way. It’s not often they have time off that lines up, but Kojiro closes early on Sundays and doesn’t reopen until Tuesday.

Kojiro spent his day tidying up around the house and planning menus. Kaoru mostly spent his day fussing over his hair and worrying about tonight, not that he would divulge that particular bit to Kojiro. Instead, he claims to have spent his afternoon tending to Carla’s operating system. If Kojiro sees through the lie, he doesn’t say anything.

They’re early enough that the trailers haven’t started yet, so Kojiro stands in line to get them snacks while Kaoru uses this opportunity to visit the restroom. When he emerges, he finds Kojiro leaning just a tad too far over the counter, talking conspiratorially to the snack counter girl. Before he has the chance to get upset though, Kojiro waves him over with a grin so dopey that it rivals one of the seven dwarves.

Kojiro hands him the sour candies he favors so much and pushes off from the counter. He’s got his own popcorn in one hand and the other draped casually over his shoulders as he walks them to their seats.

“Who was that,” Kaoru inquired, hopefully not sounding too jealous.

“Oh, that was one of Rini’s old friends! Haven’t seen her since she was like eleven years old!”

Rini was one of Kojiro’s younger sisters. He hopes his sigh of relief isn’t too noticeable.

They settle into their seats while Kojiro rambles on about Rini’s friend and how she’s getting ready to graduate and move to Tokyo, where Rini has been for the past year. The way Kojiro talks about the people in his family and their circle around them has always left Kaoru jealous. Not in the sense that he wants to be the only one in Kojiro’s life, but wishing he had something like that to call his own.

His parents weren’t exactly the warm and nurturing type, often keeping Kaoru at a distance. No matter how hard he rebelled as a teenager, nothing seemed to make them pay attention. They’d pay for anything else though: toys, skateboards, a car, tuition. Anything to get him off their back.

It had to be why he gravitated towards Kojiro so much. Just being in the Nanjo house, crowded and messy though it often was, there was love and family to be found there.

Kaoru really needed to get a grip. It’s not like Kojiro would be flirting with someone while they’re literally on a date. If that’s what this even is. Surely it must be. The movie plans predicated the kiss, but it was a pretty straight fucking line from A to B. There was definitely a charged undercurrent to this little outing.

Kaoru squirms in his seat, sneaking glances over at Kojiro’s form next to him. Don’t ask him what’s going on in the movie because all he knows is that Kojiro’s body language is open, but his hands are clutching his popcorn container. He offers it to Kaoru wordlessly, getting in his space and leaning over the armrest. He allows himself to indulge, but it’s not the popcorn he indulges in, it’s Kojiro’s proximity.

They remain close for the rest of the movie, still in their own seats and occasionally shifting to a more comfortable position, but their bodies lean towards each other like magnets. Sometimes Kojiro will whisper something to Kaoru and earn them a shush from someone behind them, making Kaoru outright giggle.

Everything is always funnier when you’re not supposed to be talking or laughing. It reminds him of high school, though usually he was the one getting Kojiro into trouble rather than the other way around.

Life has changed around them. They’re practically whole new people now, but through all their evolutions, they can’t shake each other. They always go together, balancing each other out perfectly.

He wonders if this new development of their relationship will throw a wrench into it all. Much as he wants this, he doesn’t know what he’d do without Kojiro. That’s his best friend. No one in the world knows him better. Maybe they’ll be okay.

In fact, he’s all but sure of it now.

The credits come sooner than either of them expects, and they slowly put themselves to rights and clean up their trash. They wander lazily towards the exit, probably holding up the people behind them.

It’s warmer outside than it was the previous night. The breeze blows through his hair, and it has Kaoru feeling wistful. He takes in a deep breath and looks up at the stars. Neither of them has anything left to say, really. They just stand there in companionable silence, wondering what comes next.

Kaoru looks over to Kojiro, and you’d think he never looked away from the sky for how starry his gaze looks. Kojiro steps close, gingerly tucking a loose hair back behind Kaoru’s ear. He has to take a steadying breath.

“Why don’t you stay at mine tonight,” Kojiro asks.

Unsure whether his voice will come out normal or not, he gives only a curt nod. “I brought the bike,” Kaoru gestures to the Carla motorcycle, trying to get his blush under control, “it’s right over there.”

Kojiro climbs on the back of the bike, legs spread wide and inviting. Kaoru slides between him and the handlebars, turning the ignition. Kojiro lets his hands fall to Kaoru’s waist and he scooches himself even further up. If he feels like he’s being smothered now, he has no idea how he’s going to make it through the rest of the night. The engine roars to life, creating encouraging vibrations beneath them.

Kaoru’s sense of urgency to get them back to Kojiro’s place is only heightened when his hands creep up his ribcage and back down to his hips. They get stopped by a light and Kojiro takes his opportunity to pull Kaoru’s hips even further into his own and drop a hot kiss to where his neck meets his shoulder.

The sound of the bike drowns out much of the obscene moan he lets out, for which he is grateful. They need to get home now.

They’re only a block or so away and Kojiro’s forehead is pressed between his shoulder blades as he tries to calm his breathing.

What feels like mere moments later, he pulls up outside Kojiro’s building and kills the engine. For all the build up, the two are frozen in place, still slotted against each other. This is it. Kojiro steps off the bike first, his hand coming into Kaoru’s line of vision. Their eyes connect and Kaoru can’t help but smirk. Kaoru puts his hand in Kojiro’s and lets himself be pulled from the bike. He doesn’t let go of Kojiro’s hand, even as he fishes through his pockets for his keys.

Once they finally make it into Kojiro’s apartment, they’re immediately reaching for each other. The kiss is explosive and they greedily paw at each other’s clothes. Kojiro’s jacket doesn’t even make it past the genkan. Kaoru’s hakama are hastily discarded so Kojiro can hoist him into the air, legs wrapping around his bulky frame. He sucks relentlessly on Kojiro’s lips and tongue, digging his fingers into his shoulders.

The pleased noises Kojiro makes are sure to haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. Kojiro steers them into his bedroom, dropping Kaoru gracelessly onto the bed. He wriggles out of his jeans and Kaoru grabs a fistful of his shirt, yanking him down on top of him.

They kiss and kiss and kiss, rolling and writhing together, not an inch of space between them.

Kaoru grabs two handfuls of his plump ass, grinding their hips together in a way so filthy that it has Kojiro practically choking for air. “Kaoru, fuck.” They’re both so hard, panting so heavily into each other’s mouths and they haven’t even gotten to the main event. Kojiro extracts himself from Kaoru long enough to grab the condoms and lube from his side table. Kaoru takes the moment to adjust his ponytail higher on his head and snatches the supplies right from Kojiro’s hands.

“Lay down,” his tone leaves no room for argument and Kojiro scrambles up to the headboard to heed him. “Good boy,” he praises before peeling him out of his boxer briefs and taking every impressive inch of him into his mouth.

He doesn’t even ease Kojiro into it, he’s too greedy. He’s immediately taking him all the way to the back of his throat and hollowing out his cheeks, groaning at the taste.

“Jesus fuck, Kaoru, take it easy,” he cries out, head thrown back. “I’m gonna blow my load before we even get to it.”

“Don’t tell me that your reputation is all bullshit.”

“Hey, give me a break! I’ve waited a long time for you, okay,” he runs his fingers through the ends of Kaoru’s ponytail.

“I’d hardly call that ‘waiting,’ you slept with everyone who fluttered their eyelashes in your direction.” Kaoru rips at the condom package and rolls it on, firmly placing the bottle of lube into Kojiro’s hand. He swings a leg over him, straddling his hips with another filthy grind.

“Of course you even wanna fight during sex,” he laughs into Kaoru’s mouth, pulling him down for a kiss, “can’t believe I expected anything less.”

“Yeah, shame on you,” Kaoru slips his tongue into Kojiro’s open mouth as he sinks a slick finger into his ass. The pressure punches a sharp moan from him, but he quickly relaxes into it, rocking his hips back into Kojiro’s hand.

Kaoru spends the next minutes sucking at every bit of skin he can get his mouth on. He wants to devour Kojiro, leave him without a shadow of a doubt who he belongs to. Kaoru drags the flat of his tongue over one of Kojiro’s nipples, keeping direct eye contact and giving it a few more kitten licks until Kojiro is a restless mess beneath him. He finally, finally sinks back onto Kojiro’s fat cock with a firm nip to his chin. He sits back on his haunches with a luxuriant roll of his neck. He can practically feel him in his throat. “Fuck, you’re huge.”

“God, Kaoru, you can’t say stuff like that,” he is clearly fighting for his life down there, “not if you want me to last.”

Kaoru can’t help but chuckle darkly, “Come on, big boy, I know you can do better than that.” Kojiro thrusts up harshly in retaliation. He takes that as an invitation to start moving, swiveling his hips, grinding down and getting used to the feeling of Kojiro inside of him. Kojiro presses his fingers into the meat of his thighs harshly as they sink into a rhythm.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” Kojiro praises.

He wonders how many people he’s called that.

Maybe they should be going slower. Really relishing in the fact that they’re finally doing this after all this time.

Fuck that actually. They’ve waited long enough. They have all the time to go slow later. Now? Now they can be rabid and ravenous, biting and grabbing at each others’ flesh. That’s more their style anyway.

Kojiro throws his head back with a delicious groan. Kaoru only picks up the pace, riding him like it’s his fucking job.

“Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru…”

God, he could get used to this. He intends to get used to this, to Kojiro’s enormous body entwined with his, warming his bed, his moans, making his eyes roll back in his head just like that.

Kaoru whips his hair to the other shoulder and brings their mouths together again, panting heavily into each other’s mouths, touching foreheads damp with sweat.

“Kaoru… I’m not gonna last, Kaoru.”

He pours a kiss into his mouth. “Give it to me, Koji. Cum.”

He does what he’s told for a change. Liquid white heat runs through his body and seeps into his veins. Kaoru comes long and thick on Kojiro’s heaving chest, having an out-of-body experience or maybe ascending to a higher state of being.

He watches himself take one slender finger and drag it through his mess.

He marks Kojiro with a singular kanji, drawing it right there on his chest.

Mine.

Mine.

It’s so base of him. And certainly petty. He watches understanding dawn on Kojiro’s face and he worries he’s gone too far.

No. He needs to know.

“No one else.” He leaves no room for argument.

“There never was anyone who could live up to you anyway.” Kojiro agrees all the same, tucking a loose strand of pink hair back behind Kaoru’s ear.

He relaxes and drapes himself along Kojiro’s side, legs still tangled together. Their breathing slowly returns to normal and Kaoru can’t help but smell him. He needs to burn this into his memory in every conceivable way.

Kojiro shifts like he means to get up and start cleaning them off, but Kaoru grips his large bicep and effectively pins him with his gaze.

They can clean up in the morning. For now, they just let it sink in.

[hollowfaith]

1, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

QUESTIONS FOR MUN

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

ughhhh this is hard...im gonna cheat and go for nostalgia ok

although i think i missed the mark with her muse in some places i have a special fondness for dahlia hawthorne and her specific brand of caustic sarcasm.

i don't think i've ever come up with so many different creative insults during her runtime...also she had the neatest mix of relationships with random muses, not just in AA cast (tho i remember her tormenting at least 3 different feenies??) but beyond, notably izaya and edward cullen comes to mind.

i also really liked my run as kasen kanesada because he's a very lyrical sword (or at least works hard to cultivate that image) so i had to express that in writing and ended up having a lot of fun doing flowery replies and making up poetry and generally going big ham. (it did take a lot of mental energy though so i started losing steam later on.)

i remember he had a thread with FGO Shakespeare that was pretty nice cause we got to be nerdy and talk about eastern/western literature lolololol, then for his challenge he had to kill like 5 ppl in 24 hours so i actually got 5 volunteers to get decapitated and RP'd mini threads with them all, which was wild (and again a very, very random mix of muses including X-Files Fox Mulder)

i didn't RP OCs back then but i like them a lot now too! the lack of art is an unfortunate reality but the amount of customization you get in exchange...so powerful.

5. What is the most difficult thing about writing your current muse?

stupid guy won't just kiss klaus and marry him that would solve 99% of their problems hey klaus are u listening u need to seduce this idiot or something so his brain has nothing but u all day to keep him out of mischief hey hey klaus

ahem

also his unspoken obligation to be lawful good (in his POV) really limits his ability to "act out," so sometimes i need to find different ways to de-escalate situations before he hits moral event horizon. you know, flattery and adoration goes a long way in wrapping him around your finger, i'm surprised more people don't try (i guess they can't stand him long enough to get there lol)

7. Who was the very first muse you ever wrote?

i remember answering this question on another meme maybe...?

there's a more accurate answer now: pre-tumblr, i remember RPing a Lopmon on some digimon forum once upon a time. also remember the mod that was RPing with me called me out for "slight godmodding" because i was describing how my digimon was crossing a bridge and apparently that was taking things too much into my own hands LOLOL

8. Have you ever written a novel? If not, does it interest you?

i've started written novels but i haven't finished any except for like, a couple of original oneshots. technically Veoc is a supporting character/love interest (spoilers: he's not the canon pairing) in a sci-fi story where i have the general plot laid out but y'know, actually writing it is... *flops down*

9. Do you write fanfiction, or have you in the past?

i definitely wrote more in the past but i've slowed down to a trickle since then. uhhhh i want to start up again, maybe with drabbles/oneshots, but i need to catch up on canon first before i try to do the characters justice

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

god a part of me regrets giving Aury his fancy brackets b/c i have to copy/paste that thing in every reply

so yeah i am never doing that again i just wanna open up a post and type my reply and be done with it, bless.

same with icons as long as they show a face and expression (or even body part) im happy wheee i've got plots to write

11. When did you start roleplaying?

i can't remember...gotta be probably early to mid high school cause i didn't know RP existed back then

12. Have you roleplayed anywhere other than tumblr?

forums, emails, tried a LJ group but my app got rejected so i didn't even get in (ROFL), tumblr has been the most stable medium with most long-term interactions though

[evilevilevilnotevilevilagain]

Zotating KA in my brain as usual,,, so I wrote something about them... a bit of their Sundering Lore in very vague confusing terms. But I had fun writing it up.

(repost cus I forgot you can just Do That on tumblr n post long shit directly into it. For ur convenience, enjoy.)

------------------

The cut splitting your lips is healing well and you are glad, so glad, because it is the last one.

“Was that really so difficult?”

He’s amazed it took so long, but he never gave up on you. He’s so nice to you now, sticky-sweet, don't-leave-me-with-these-animals kind of clingy- you heard him say it once, to a friend, when he thought you were asleep.

You’re really his now, he lets everyone know. You’re real proud of the fact; real proud even when Gnat beats you bloody again. She’s just jealous, so you don’t get mad. You’re so good at not getting mad anymore. Not good for the baby, so you watch yourself. Just enough not to break something back. Gnat’s taller than you, her kicks sting real bad, but you think if you were mad enough… She better watch herself, you tell her drooling blood and stomach acid onto cobblestone. She makes some kind of joke, but you know women only think of themselves- she’s only hurting you because she cannot have you. People do it all the time. You’re a hot commodity, you've got a whole bright life ahead of you. He says you’re all one big family, but he’s the only family you need. Too many voices just serve to confuse you when they’re all telling you their own truths. You know it's all derivative, interpretations of the one grand source- and he purrs them straight into your ear every night.

Twenty years later Orwell tells you “You know how I knew?”

You don’t remember coming to his room, or the crying, or the whole-body-tremor desperation when you’d told him how scared you were that it might be a girl.

But he’d listened and he’d schemed, and all his great plan ever did was leave you all alone to fend for your own self.

Gnat, when you see her again, outlines the path of your life as follows: parasite, cockroach, rat, breeding stock, herd dog.

She’s sorry at least for all the times she personally was the cause of your suffering. “He only told me to do it the first time, the rest was all me.” We all wanted to be special. Never really about you. Take it as you will, never really a compliment to be his favorite, should’ve seen him for what he was, should’ve saved you. You don’t need saving of course. Never did. You saved yourself. After all these years, you’re still doing it.

You don’t like the sound of Jewel’s name on her tongue, but it doesn’t stop her from saying it. His name is the only thing you like about him. It’s too soon, you’re not ready, you only just now started letting him in-

“The whole family was robbed of him,” she says, “when those aristocrats took you for their broodmother.” She has her own ideas of what your arrangement must have been.Though you recall with disgusting clarity the one sharp moment that Anna-Marie found you painting and rushed to rub your swelling abdomen while cooing “How delightful! He’ll be talented, too, won’t he?”

Every flake of individuality you ever exhibited cataloged away as favorable traits with set probabilities of showing up in the next generation. You felt like a great big pampered cow, but Gnat doesn’t need to know how right she is. She's wrong about so much of the rest of it. End of the day, you chose this. You signed the papers. You closed your eyes when you heard the first scream and didn’t open them again until they were all out of the room.

Then she lets you know he was in on it. But then he had that deal with you on the side. Orwell wanted you looked after, but they were all too far away -too dangerous to come back in so soon. And you were so fragile after It happened. But the Commander took you, and then he took your son. You still remember the dazed shock of being dumped at a spacious, yet entirely empty room at the back of the Watchguard barracks, body raw, lying on a cot all alone in the dark, discarded the moment they got what they wanted.

You had the rank, but nobody in the Watch even knew you. You had to fight to earn their respect, make them listen to you, even when you could barely stand. It brought the anger back. Not just pregnancy hysterics, this was you all along. You didn’t keep it in check anymore. Not restraining yourself spelled the difference between life and death.

“He was supposed to look after you.” He never answered Orwell again and he’d thrown you right into the thick of it, the one place your brother could not reach you.

After everything it's that realization that hurts the most. You had always respected the Commander for having done so much for you. It’s the same pattern, only each time it gets uglier, less coherent. Another boot you’ve prostrated yourself under with a smile. The thought makes you sick.

When he had come back, he hadn’t been thinking of what's best for you, killing Nadine was only getting rid of the competition. Nobody wanted that, to be fair. You cannot visualize yourself anywhere else but here, though at one time you had believed her. But it’s another command put in your head- the desire to leave was never really yours. You’ve never wanted to leave anything, anyone.

Gnat says they’re ready to welcome you back, but you still have to convince Orwell. Something about you the last time he saw you had made him cautious- maybe it had opened up the old wounds- and now he needs you to prove yourself before you can be let back into the fold.

“Consider it a very late abortion,” Gnat’s horse-toothed grin leers back at you,” it has to be worth the sacrifice.”

After all, it took nearly all of Him to put you back together. The least you could do is pay back the difference.

“Let him know he has a family that wants to meet him. Tell him he can be a part of it.” Who knows, maybe there’ll be enough left over to even give you something special, too.

You’re left there at the old bone well considering your options, though there aren’t many. One loathsome thought drifts above them: You want Jewel to live. This complicates things.

[becauseplot]

thinking abt dsmp x qsmp x botw crossover again. im still working through what exactly i want to do about the Kakariko- and Yiga-equivalent regions/groups in this au. and the Shiekah-equivalent as well, which i suppose would belong to the Kakariko-equivalent.

under the cut: me just walking through some ideas about my au, WEMBM. very rambly. mostly just me posting for safekeeping and to help me work through thoughts and because hitting the post button makes brain release happy chemical. can totally be ignored /gen :thumbsup: writing in tumblr drafts just makes the ideas come easier idk lmao. might private this later just because *shrug*

as of right now, the idea of doing some sort of dsmp-eggpire/qsmp-watchers fusion for the Yiga-equivalent is very tempting. the original au was just eggpire, but now of course im tossing qsmp into the mix. sure, the federation is a decent enough candidate for the role, being an Evil Organization and all, but i feel like the watchers embody that element of suffering, chaos, carnality, and twisted righteousness. while the feds have their dark sides, the overall aesthetic of the federation is too clinical and organized for the cult of armageddon-worshippers. the federation is fairly reserved and mysterious, whereas the watchers (and the Watcher itself) are very blunt and up-front about their goals: make the "sinners" pay. that fits the yiga-role best, in my opinion.

so, eggpire-watcher fusion. i've got a few directions i can go with this. if i remember correctly, the original idea for the Eggpire in this au was that Bad (Kohga-equivalent character; tell me that cBad DOESN'T fit this role perfectly i dare you), as a young member of the dwindling yiga clan post-calamity, once made the journey into hyrule castle to see for himself what remained of the Dark Lord*, and what he saw in the Sanctum was that big old fleshy cocoon- or 'egg'-looking thing where Calamity Dreamon was being held back by Prince Tubbo. Dreamon's consciousness was able to reach out to him, beckon him forward, tell him of the way that he has been wrongfully sealed, that greatness awaits those who embrace the Darkness, that he, Bad, could spearhead the revival of the Dark Lord and join him in his absolute rule over hyrule, if he could keep that blasted Knight from sealing him away for good...

and thus, Bad emerged from hyrule castle with a mission he would dedicate his life to: kill the Knight that wields the sword that seals the darkness so that his Dark Lord may regain his strength and hatch from his 'egg', reborn.

*fhdjsk this was how the yiga referred to ganon in the game right or am i crazy?? it's been so long since i played botw hhhough.

now, watcher elements that can be tossed into the mix? well, they get their name "watchers" because of the way they've scattered themselves across hyrule, watching for any sign or hint that the Knight may have returned. they're great with stealth when needs must, but when it comes to combat, they are ruthless. they fight hard, fight dirty. they seek to kill anyone who may oppose the way of the Dark Lord. im gonna make them a biiiiiit darker than they are in botw bc it's my au and i get to choose the vibe, but i promise i won't sacrifice all of the silly. the balance of goofy/lighthearted/fun and serious/grim/dark is integral to both LoZ games and MCRP series.

im thinking i'll reserve the "sinners" title for any watcher members who defect or show any sort of sympathy for outsiders. fun fact: WEMBM!cellbit is a sinner!! he was abducted by the watchers at age ten and made to forget his childhood through ritual magic and trained to be the perfect soldier for Master Bad and the Dark Lord. he was sharp as a tack and quick with a sword, and once he was old enough, he would have made a perfect addition to Bad's elite rank of watcher footmen.

until he defected. until he became a sinner.

he lives in Quesadilla (Hateno-equivalent) now. he's got a husband who he loves and friends in town that care for him deeply and an estranged twin sister living in Enderian Town that he swaps letters with, on occasion. he keeps his head down, he enjoys his quiet life of freedom, and he's totally not secretly aiding an anti-watchers organization called the Ordo from afar.

(did i make cellbit extremely backstoried in this au? you bet your ass i did. tbf qcellbit is also very backstoried and qcellbit lives rent free in my brain so sorry not sorry lol. also mentor-mentee hg duo makes me RGHRHRGHRGHGRRR.)

anyway, i'm thinking of having the kakariko village equivalent be called Essempi. eret will take impa's role, having been prince tubbo's advisor, one of his guards, and a close friend. who else lives in Essempi is uhh, to be decided. i think i should start making a list of characters who i already know the residence of (eg, Cellbit is in Quesadilla, Eret is in Essempi, Schlatt is on the Plateau...) so i can place other characters in locations.

one major issue im running into is my discomfort with assigning qsmp/dsmp characters---who are largely white/non-Japanese---as "Sheikah." feels like appropriation of some share or form. which means i'm going to have Essempi be just another Hylian town---unless i come up with another humanoid race. hmm, could do something with bad, tina, and mouse's shared demon-ness in qsmp. eret could definitely land in this category as well. (and while im still hesitant to put qforever into any sort of au because of. well. let's not get into that here. but if i put him somewhere, i'd put him in this group.) they probably wouldn't be called Demons, though. i'll think of something. either way, they'd have a connection to the "Sheikah" technology and would be close with the royal family, just like the original Sheikah of botw. (huh. i guess this makes tazercraft sheikah-equivalent. or well ig they don't have to be. my au my rules.)

[sesamie]

im curious as to your songwriting process, do you start with lyrics first or a melody or kinda both? how easy so you find all the different parts of a song are to compose?

wellllll good question! i don't really have a process. usually i come up with a concept and start thinking of phrases that i feel or think about that concept, then write those down, like for cd's lament this was the original thoughts i wrote down earlier tonight while i was playing minecraft:

knowing i could either chop this up later and make a poem souffle or a song pie or something. i always try and write down phrases i come up with just in case they might be useful later; i have a whole channel in my personal just-me discord i use for it:

really just any and everything nice that pops into my brain i'll write it down in case i can use it later!

once i have those sort of base phrases and concepts written i start thinking of how i would want the song to sound - if a phrase has a natural musicality due to the meter of the words, i'll usually base it around that. i have an easier time just coming up with a melody and humming it into a recording (i can improvise this quite easily) than i do actually writing down notes and chords and whatnot. usually i come up with a vocal melody and use the guitar to just back it however it fits. if it needs it, i'll think about my other instruments (currently writing a clarinet duet but gd knows when i will be brave enough to record that or even finish it for that matter) but usually i just consider everything a demo (which is short for demonstration which is good to remember! it's just a demonstration! that's just kinda sorta how it's supposed to sound! nothing is ever finished!) and leave it all very unpolished.

if i think i'm gonna forget something in the middle of songwriting (i also lose melodies easily) i record myself singing or humming just that part. and to write lyrics i just let it happen as it happens like poetry and then i go back and restate things to make it fit the meter and whatnot. generous use of rhymezone, not necessarily for rhymes but more for inspiration on how to word things or extra concepts i can pull from if i need more than what i have.

then i do chords, and change the melody and chords until i have something i like, then i write that down, and record that demonstration

then i go and try to record an uploadable version! it usually takes me a couple tries - if i mess up, i stop and start again. once i do it all the way through without fumbling too hard i just upload it, i almost never actually listen to them before uploading them, cause if i made a big mistake, i wouldn't have recorded to the end anyways. then i put it on soundcloud and tumblr and then embarassedly delete it off tumblr and then post it again on tumblr and then dm it to my single friend who asked to hear all the songs i upload. and then yeah!

i almost ALWAYS do the full process in one sitting. i might be thinking about a song for a long time beforehand, but the sitting down to write and record process usually happens all in one.

[crepe-of-wrath]

Utter Self-Indulgence: What I Fantasize about Blorbos [Alucard, Sebastian, Aizawa] Smelling Like

This is inspired by THIS POST that someone else made about Aizawa (post also reblogged on my tumblr). I haven't been able to get the "what fragrance would I pick for them?" thoughts out of my head. Before we get started, I want to acknowledge again that I know that men in Japan traditionally don't wear the type of fragrances I'm discussing here. But, I like fragrances and I also like thinking about these characters. Final Warning: Absurdly self-indulgent post incoming.

I think we need to have an incense fragrance here, as I like to think that it would amuse even the non-Abridged version of Alucard to smell like incense just because it would make Maxwell angry. (He shouldn't have insulted Integra, eh?)

I also like the idea of picking at least one fragrance marketed to women for Alucard because he transcends these categories. So maybe something like Bois d'Iris by Van Cleef and Arpels, which dries down on some people like what can best be described as cold smoke, which is a visual that feels very Alucard to me.

Another way this fragrance is often described is: imagine silver had a smell and that smell had just a hint of florals to it. Again, I think Alucard would appreciate the humor in a vampire such as himself smelling like silver.

Since Alucard is so changeable, we can't have just one fragrance pick, can we?

When Alucard dances vintage ballroom dances with you, staring down at you with those hypnotic red eyes, wouldn't it be lovely if you could smell a classic Givenchy when he brought you in close? I'm thinking original Gentleman, which has lots of deep, dark, notes, while also playing around with the fougère structure, and, while I don't like straight fougères all that much, it seems wrong not to imagine Alucard wearing something that pays tribute to that fragrance family.

I also like the idea of Alucard layering something very dry and medicinal with an over the top sweet warm vanilla, maybe like Guerlain Double Spiritueuse (another perfume marketed as feminine but again who fucking cares?) just for the contrast, and because smelling that hint of comforting vanilla would be so nice when he wraps you up in those massive arms.

Something that defies the usual trends is necessary here

There is literally a perfume named Ciel by the fragrance house Amouage

And yes, it is damn cheesy (and possibly creepy) to imagine Sebastian wearing a perfume called Ciel, but it's a compelling fit.

(If it really squicks one out to imagine Sebastian wearing a perfume called Ciel, there is also Amouage Dia, which travels in the same scent family circles as Ciel, IMO. However, I truly believe Ciel is the more unusual fragrance and thus the most suited for Bassy.)

Ciel has aspects of fougères, but it also has this big peachy, floral-aldehyde blast.

It is a scent that feels very geometric to me

Like, if any of you know the Thoth Tarot, the components of this scent block together and push against each other like the angular, transparent wings of the Sword Court Cards.

The shifty, airy, gender-eschewing nature feels very appropriate for an immortal demon being.

Dark horse selection: Lorenzo Villoresi Garofano (marketed for women, but a big floral and green combination that plays off Victoriana without having any elements I dislike.)

Goddddddd, just imagine he's getting dressed for his once-every-three-months fancy occasion

And then he applies some Knize Ten, the warmest, most traditionally masculine, least pretentious (IMO) of the leather classics. Like good, classic boots and other quality, long-lasting things.

I associate leather with nature, groundedness, comfort, and, strangely enough, competence [look, humans are weird], which are all things I associate w/Aizawa, which is probably why I'm so fixated on him smelling like this.

I'm sorry, my brain just about fucking shorts out at this point. Just imagine walking by and seeing him with his hair already up and then surprising him as he's about to put on his dress shirt, wrapping your arms around him, running your hands over his bare chest, just breathing in sexy leather

ohhhhh myyyyy godddddd

(Forgive the 2010's typing style, but my overwhelmed brain is reverting to what it knows.)

Another choice that would be really hot: the Tiffany for Men (as in the one that practically can't be found any longer): a warm, comforting, delicious, cinnamon/nutmeg/cedar-y treat to smell as he holds you close on a cold night.

[worldismyne]

Seeing how you actually are able to keep your promise of weekly chapters, any tipps to commiting to a schedulde? I often think with all my free time I should be able to do the same with my storys but I just get burnt out or distracted and then self loath cause when I actually have the will again I have work responsibilities or other important stuff going on

Don't commit to an upload schedule until the first draft is finished.

Write to entertain yourself, not to meet a deadline.

Write as much as you can while the idea is new and exciting.

When soft writing and/or brain storming, I like to make a playlist specific to that story. The scenes I have that are tied to specific songs are the easiest to write.

Find the 1 hr on your days off that you have the most energy. (For me it's right after breakfast). Try as often as you can to write then. Even once every other week, is amazing.

It's okay to leave fics unfinished.

Your freetime where you rest is important

Listen to audiobooks in the same genre that you're aiming to write.

Whenever stuck, don't google, put < get there > and keep writing. When editing go back and either add to the scene or just cut it. 9/10 if I think a scene needs something to start it off, it actually doesn't.

(Longer explination of my process under the cut).

DON'T COMMIT TO AN UPLOAD SCHEDULE UNTIL IT'S ALREADY DONE.

I write as much as I can while hyperfixating on a story without posting it. So the draft for the fic I'm uploading atm was finished three months ago. I started uploading when I had 16 chapters written (or 4 months of backlog).

I can't count on how long an idea will hold my interest, or if I have enough material to stretch it out over multiple chapters. (I only just recently got into one shots. If you look at my other fics, I average around 20 k for a 'long' fic, because I get bored). So don't hold yourself to a strict length. Write the important, most engadging parts, walk away, come back and make sure it flows.

The important thing is I'm writing to entertain myself. Writing for a self imposed deadline or to meet audience expectations always burns me out. (No amount of kudos or comments will ever combat that)

I work 3, 12 hr night shifts a week, so a lot of the writing I do is during downtime at work. I personally find it difficult to write at home and spend a great deal of time recovering from working. The body needs that time to recover and it took years of unlearning that rest and self care are unproductive or a waste of time. If your work doesn't allow you that luxury, have a place out of the house you go to for longer periods of writing.

The playlist thing is a lifesaver, never discount the importance of soft writing. I literally can not visualize things, so music helps me have an outline to plot out scenes or chapters (i.e. what tone am I trying to capture). Also works to reignte the spark of inspiration. The time I'm most active is the morning, but that time often gets eaten up by real life, however it's easy to budget a half hour of time to that peak writing time. Those lil bits add up. If you haven't made progress on something in a while, it isn't a bad thing that you've prioritized other things. The writing process should be fun. It's like playing pretend, but you get to keep it afterward.

It's okay to abandon fics.

I still reread unfinished fics people posted, because what they had up was full of passion. A lot of the fics I couldn't finish were either the scope of the story was too big for what I wanted to write or the direction I was taking the fic wasn't working. Crest of the Dragon was on a 6 year hiatus before I was able to come up with an ending I liked. I was surprised people who'd followed it and left tumblr came back just to congradulate me for finishing it. Your readers will understand if you have to step away from something for a while. Updating serially often puts fic writers in a corner, by having the WIP up for everyone to see.

Burnout is usually not from the writing, but the real life shit going on around us. It can take years to figure out the main source and how to deal with it. Mental and emotional rest are important. I'm a bit neuro spicy, so there are straight up weeks where I have to resign myself to not creating anything. Having the back log helps in those instances, since l typically make things in fevered burst and then have to recoop.

Recently figured out listening to disc world novels has helped with my SE fic. It has good examples of absurdest humor, world building and general descriptions. I don't have time to read, but a lot of audio books are free on youtube. If you really, really get stuck, seeing how a pro tackles things can help even subconciously.

<get there> is my new friend. I'm not big on writing non-linearly. For longer stories, I'll parse out the main story beats and then hope the characters develope in that direction. Sometimes they go off the rails on me, or a planned subplot gets scraped. So, for this fic, I had all the mystery reveals spaced out between the two storylines. For character arcs, I go on explorative vibes.

All this to say, writing for me is an escape, and most of the time I'm doing it when I'm in a position where my options are either be on my phone or write. If I got 15 min or more, I choose write. If I got a sentence out, that counts.

It doesn't have to be perfect, or finished, or written in a timely matter. It just has to be, as long as what you're writing entertains you. Worry about uploading once you're done with it.

[babkaboy]

Hi! Big big biiiiiiiiig fan of your obikin work over on twitter, both for the naughty bits :3 and your art style like omg I love love loooooove the angular character design and the way u colour with scribbles hidden in it to look like it’s pencil coloured and the double lineart over (is it intentional or aesthetic thing?)

I wanted to ask a question: I noticed whenever I see your twitter art and tumblr art even tho it’s the same fan art some of the stuff on tumblr is slightly different like obi-wan/anakin’s face is more structured on tumblr version or slight change of pose or adding new things like obi-wan’s red lingerie in your obi-wan’s history of bras/lingerie while he’s naked on twitter version. Do you purposely change it for tumblr?

Hi there!! What a wonderful message to receive 🥺🙏 First of all, thank you for such kind words ❤️ I hope you don’t mind I answer both of your asks here!!

My art-style has been mutating through the years since I graduated and nowadays I’ve found a nice balance with this sketchy one I’m currently using (definitely influenced by Mikael Ross, his traditional cartoonish style is a huge inspo for me when i do comics). but I love trying new methods and switching things up every now and then. And yes, the double lineart is intentional!! I like how it gives some dimension and dynamism to the anatomy and makes it feel like animation 💞

And you are very observant!!! Bc I definitely change things in my art when I post them to different sites. part of it is because I’m kind of a perfectionist, and once i post something on twitter i start noticing all the mistakes and tangents and I just know i won’t post it on tumblr until i feel satisfied and fix things or re-do them. on the other hand, tumblr is very strict with the nudity stuff and i keep getting flagged every time i post something slightly suggestive (or maybe someone is reporting me 👀 won’t be the first time tbh) so i gotta tone things down, like adding obi-wan’s red lingerie in that one fanart while on tumblr he’s showing ass and cock HAHAHA. so yep, twitter gets ass and tits while tumblr gets the fixed 2.0 stuff. but in some way i kind of like the idea of posting different things on each site, like little easter eggs 🥰

I’m so excited for you to participate on the #UnderTheJediUniform tag 🙏 also tag me if you do it cuz my shadowban sometimes hides some of the art in the tag 😭 it started as a little idea and it warms my heart seeing people doing their drawings or fics or hcs about obi-wan in lingerie 💘 But take it easy specially if you are coming back from a creative burnout after uni, i was there too and it was no fun at all. sometimes is a way for our brain to tell us to take a break and nurture ourselves from different things other than drawing, like looking at different artists or photographers, watching movies, reading books and from life itself. and when you less expect it, you will suddenly get struck with the need to grab a pen 😊

thank you again for this lovely message, it really made my day!!! as you said, there‘s always shit happening and disgusting losers trying to drag you down in this fandom, but messages like this and the wonderful people that i have met through obikin is an enough reason to stay and keep doing what i want ❤️

[jasper-pagan-witch]

Hi friend! Hope your end of the year is going well, and that you're drinking enough water.

You said that your asks were open and empty, and yooo, do I have a few questions my ADHD brain forgot about. 😂

One, I remember seeing a couple posts from you about deities and entities, and I was curious about your general experience with how you connected with them. Don't want to pry, but curious about the process you went through. (It's my next subject of study after I finish a tarot project)

Two, what things (witchcraft related or not) do you like to do at the end of the year?

Three, what is your least favorite misconception about the witchcraft community, and why?

And four, favorite source (like a blog, yt channel, book) for spell, tips, etc?

This reads like more of a "get to know you" vs anything specific, doesn't it? 😅😂

Ooo, I'm gonna have a lot to stay here, so I'm gonna break out my fun post dividers that I make over on @jasper-graphics to help split things up!

How I connect with deities is interesting compared to all of the 101 posts I see about deity work. I build an altar, verbally introduce myself once, and then proceed as though they're definitely already there. I'll use divination such as tarot to interact with deities and interpret messages, because I fucking love tarot.

Other than that? As long as I feel like I'm getting a go-ahead, I'll just go ahead. If I don't, I'll thank them for their time and put things away - sometimes some of the stuff will go to other deities, but otherwise everything gets put in a box together in case I need to talk to or work with that deity in particular again.

I just fucking rest at the end of the year. I don't care about "preparing for the new year" or "saying good-bye to the old year" in any way. I just have to remind myself to use the right year for a good couple of months while I get used to the forward march of time.

Boring? Yes. Do I care? No.

I don't like any of the general ideas of the witchcraft community, even back when I was a witch. I don't care for people calling us all Wiccans, or all dark, or all "black magic users" (which is SUPER RACIST btw), or all soft and sweet, or that we all follow the Wheel of the Year...I just don't like stereotypes, even if they're "accurate" to myself or others.

That's why I'm a wizard, not a witch. I gave up on the whole thing because I was tired of having to scream not all witches at Generic Wicca Is Witchcraft Is Wicca Book #347.

I have many favorite sources for ideas. I tend to hoard posts on @jasper-grimoire, but I'm a big fan of the following things:

Books:

Grovedaughter Witchery | Bree NicGarran/@breelandwalker

Ozark Folk Magic | Brandon Weston

Queer Magic | Tomas Prower

Morbid Magic | Tomas Prower

Do I Have to Wear Black? | Mortellus

honestly most of the books in the beginner magic section of my bookshelf

YouTube Channels:

Annabel Margaret | The Green Witch (same person, two YouTube accounts)

The Witch of Wonderlust

Chaotic Witch Aunt

I'm also becoming fond of The Stitchin' Witch, but that's one of those channels where I have to speed up the voice.

I watch a few more magic/tarot YouTubers, but I keep yelling at them to get to the point and to script their videos because they stumble over their thoughts, repeat things over and over, or fill their speech with "uh" and "um". It's YouTube, you can edit your videos before you put them up, I promise-

Ahem. Moving on.

Tumblr Blogs:

@crazycatsiren

@will-o-the-witch

@serpentandthreads

@stagkingswife

@traegorn

@windvexer

@breelandwalker of course

And more, but once you follow all of these people, you can look at the recommended blogs on their pages and go from there. Go observe their posts and read their masterposts. Give them your money if you can. They do so much to better this platform and the magic community as a whole and deserve to be supported.

Hopefully this gave you a bit of insight into what I consider to be pretty decent things! Above all, be respectful.

~Jasper

[bonnie-is-bumbling]

Oh. Look. It's once again been a hot minute since I've written anything!... Okay, that's a lie.

I write, then I let it sit... Usually decide it's too bleedin' cringey, and I delete the Tumblr post. But not today!

Today, I'm just going off about my special interests. Today, the brain is on ships, and the sheer sizes of them. As some ass-coverage: All images are snagged from Google. They are not accuracy checked. They belong to their respective owners, not me. Do not take my words as fact, my research has been shallow, casual, and for fun.

My housemate and I got a bit curious, as we're both big Titanic enthusiasts and plane enthusiasts- How big IS the Boeing 777x compared to the Titanic?

It was just one of those questions that popped up out of nowhere. Being an impoverished person my whole life, I've pretty much only traveled a few states outside of my landlocked rocky mountain home. The closest I've been to the ocean is Galveston, Texas. Save for a maybe 2 hour beach visit when I visited a former partner in Florida. That said, I've never seen a full size ship.

Boats? Ferries? Sure! My grandfather used to go fishing on Lake Conroe in Texas on the prettiest bass boat I know. (I may be a bit biased, hah.) But while I've never seen a full size ship in person, I've flown about... four times? So I've seen a plane up close. I think the first one I flew on was an A320, but for the love o' gigantic buffets, don't quote me on that. (Oh. Did I mention I'm waiting on dinner while writing this? A buffet sounds delightful. It has ZERO to do with this post. But maybe it'll remind someone who hasn't eaten to eat?... GO EAT.)

.... So, planes are pretty big. That much, I can tell you. But I was plenty surprised to see they're not even half of the Olympic class. Insert my first snagged photo from a shallow Google search!

On my housemate and I's curiosity search, we settled on this one. There's dome size differences between a 777x and an A380, but it was one of those instances of "Close enough."

Now, to preface this question, yes, I understand buoyancy, aero/hydrodynamic shapes. I'm no engineer, and I'm REALLY not about to go into the deep science and numbers here. Not today. I have looked up how ships float, how planes fly... All while being super heavy, bulky. And loaded with people/cargo. But despite knowing this stuff, it still feckin' BAFFLES me how a big tub of steel floats. Or something weighing multiple fucktons can fly like it weighs nothing.

Even with a general understanding of the design and engineering, the science, even... It still just makes me stop and think about that. Humans are impressive.

Oh. And if you think the Olympic class looks huge compared to an A380, the Olympic trio are only about 1/3 the size of the Costa Concordia (Brief rundown: Cruise ship that hit rocks and sunk partially in 2012. I know there's some drama surrounding this creator right now, but if you're of the easily distracted mind and need some humor to keep things interesting like myself, Internet Historian on YouTube has a decent documentary on her that was quite entertaining. )

No, seriously, I just snagged this off Google, it's not mine. Don't come at me. I just find it fascinating. We build these huge, heavy things and yet they float or fly like it's nothing. Just... What are the chances? That's so cool!

Have a lil 747 happily wagging it's tail as my thanks for bearing with my bumbling ♡