#and nadine is an ex girlfriend they ended up killing

[evilevilevilnotevilevilagain]

Zotating KA in my brain as usual,,, so I wrote something about them... a bit of their Sundering Lore in very vague confusing terms. But I had fun writing it up.

(repost cus I forgot you can just Do That on tumblr n post long shit directly into it. For ur convenience, enjoy.)

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The cut splitting your lips is healing well and you are glad, so glad, because it is the last one.

“Was that really so difficult?”

He’s amazed it took so long, but he never gave up on you. He’s so nice to you now, sticky-sweet, don't-leave-me-with-these-animals kind of clingy- you heard him say it once, to a friend, when he thought you were asleep.

You’re really his now, he lets everyone know. You’re real proud of the fact; real proud even when Gnat beats you bloody again. She’s just jealous, so you don’t get mad. You’re so good at not getting mad anymore. Not good for the baby, so you watch yourself. Just enough not to break something back. Gnat’s taller than you, her kicks sting real bad, but you think if you were mad enough… She better watch herself, you tell her drooling blood and stomach acid onto cobblestone. She makes some kind of joke, but you know women only think of themselves- she’s only hurting you because she cannot have you. People do it all the time. You’re a hot commodity, you've got a whole bright life ahead of you. He says you’re all one big family, but he’s the only family you need. Too many voices just serve to confuse you when they’re all telling you their own truths. You know it's all derivative, interpretations of the one grand source- and he purrs them straight into your ear every night.

Twenty years later Orwell tells you “You know how I knew?”

You don’t remember coming to his room, or the crying, or the whole-body-tremor desperation when you’d told him how scared you were that it might be a girl.

But he’d listened and he’d schemed, and all his great plan ever did was leave you all alone to fend for your own self.

Gnat, when you see her again, outlines the path of your life as follows: parasite, cockroach, rat, breeding stock, herd dog.

She’s sorry at least for all the times she personally was the cause of your suffering. “He only told me to do it the first time, the rest was all me.” We all wanted to be special. Never really about you. Take it as you will, never really a compliment to be his favorite, should’ve seen him for what he was, should’ve saved you. You don’t need saving of course. Never did. You saved yourself. After all these years, you’re still doing it.

You don’t like the sound of Jewel’s name on her tongue, but it doesn’t stop her from saying it. His name is the only thing you like about him. It’s too soon, you’re not ready, you only just now started letting him in-

“The whole family was robbed of him,” she says, “when those aristocrats took you for their broodmother.” She has her own ideas of what your arrangement must have been.Though you recall with disgusting clarity the one sharp moment that Anna-Marie found you painting and rushed to rub your swelling abdomen while cooing “How delightful! He’ll be talented, too, won’t he?”

Every flake of individuality you ever exhibited cataloged away as favorable traits with set probabilities of showing up in the next generation. You felt like a great big pampered cow, but Gnat doesn’t need to know how right she is. She's wrong about so much of the rest of it. End of the day, you chose this. You signed the papers. You closed your eyes when you heard the first scream and didn’t open them again until they were all out of the room.

Then she lets you know he was in on it. But then he had that deal with you on the side. Orwell wanted you looked after, but they were all too far away -too dangerous to come back in so soon. And you were so fragile after It happened. But the Commander took you, and then he took your son. You still remember the dazed shock of being dumped at a spacious, yet entirely empty room at the back of the Watchguard barracks, body raw, lying on a cot all alone in the dark, discarded the moment they got what they wanted.

You had the rank, but nobody in the Watch even knew you. You had to fight to earn their respect, make them listen to you, even when you could barely stand. It brought the anger back. Not just pregnancy hysterics, this was you all along. You didn’t keep it in check anymore. Not restraining yourself spelled the difference between life and death.

“He was supposed to look after you.” He never answered Orwell again and he’d thrown you right into the thick of it, the one place your brother could not reach you.

After everything it's that realization that hurts the most. You had always respected the Commander for having done so much for you. It’s the same pattern, only each time it gets uglier, less coherent. Another boot you’ve prostrated yourself under with a smile. The thought makes you sick.

When he had come back, he hadn’t been thinking of what's best for you, killing Nadine was only getting rid of the competition. Nobody wanted that, to be fair. You cannot visualize yourself anywhere else but here, though at one time you had believed her. But it’s another command put in your head- the desire to leave was never really yours. You’ve never wanted to leave anything, anyone.

Gnat says they’re ready to welcome you back, but you still have to convince Orwell. Something about you the last time he saw you had made him cautious- maybe it had opened up the old wounds- and now he needs you to prove yourself before you can be let back into the fold.

“Consider it a very late abortion,” Gnat’s horse-toothed grin leers back at you,” it has to be worth the sacrifice.”

After all, it took nearly all of Him to put you back together. The least you could do is pay back the difference.

“Let him know he has a family that wants to meet him. Tell him he can be a part of it.” Who knows, maybe there’ll be enough left over to even give you something special, too.

You’re left there at the old bone well considering your options, though there aren’t many. One loathsome thought drifts above them: You want Jewel to live. This complicates things.

[slvtbible]

I should’ve walked away | pt. 2

[In which he says everything he needs to say]

Warnings: mentions of terminal illness, tears, curse words

[If this sucks i’m sorry:/ i have never been good with part twos unlike some other talented writers out there, who are killing it lol]

[But anyways, i hope you guys like this. Sorry for taking this so long!]

**

You thought that heartbreak will only last for a couple weeks. But you were wrong about that.

The night after you left the party was also the night you went back home to your small apartment. You blocked his number right after you reached your home, have no absolutely intention on rekindling the relationship,

You called your mother and told her about everything whilst your cried. She tried to calm you down but it didn’t work. You weren’t crying over the fact that your relationship with Harry had ended, but you were crying over how completely different Harry was that night. And how his friends were no better than him. That broke your heart to pieces, because you had been together for three years and expected that Harry was the guy that everyone talked about on the media. Yet, they proved you wrong.

Sobs were uncontrolled as you cried to your mom, cursing him over and over but surprisingly, although you told your mom how disrespectful Harry and his friends had been to both of you, she only sighed to herself and smiled softly. Knowing that this would happen either way, because your family were never been blessed with good wealth and people will always look down on you no matter what. She knew that already so she wasn’t disappointed nor hurt.

But she also knew Harry is a good person. Though only had a chance of meeting him once, he was the most polite and kindest man you have ever dated. She told you herself and she remembered how pink your cheeks were when you blushed, it was truly the most heartwarming and cutest thing your mother ever had to witness.

Now, those days were over. To you. You swore to yourself to never ever fall back to the arms of a man who is disrespectful towards your mother.

It is four months later after your break up with Harry and you’d be lying if you say you didn’t miss him. During work or during your sleepless nights, he would always manage to find his way to sneak in to your mind and it’s hard for you to get rid of those thoughts.

Harry is suffering just the same as you. Perhaps even worse.

He is not himself anymore. After he spat those terrible things towards the only woman he’s ever loved and he’s ever going to marry, he could never forgive himself. He blames himself for your departure, he curses himself for using your insecurities against you and that was not fair.

He’s very much aware of how privileged he is and so are the people around him, yet he decided to go and rub it on your face. Even made fun of your mother’s income. His mother would be livid if she finds out how terrible he treated you. Anne favours you very much, she always have.

**

This year, turns out to be a not pretty good year for you. Your mother had informed you four months ago that your sister, have been adapted with cancer. Both treatments and surgery costs $30,000 combined and you have no idea how to earn that much money in less than three months to pay for them all. Especially when you only have one job while you have classes to attend to. 

But you made up your mind. You decided to drop out of college and started to take three jobs—which are not really helping at all, the money aren’t enough just yet— to pay for the surgery. The university offers you to pay for all of your tuition including the living costs, in order for you to stay because you’re one of the best students and they don’t want to let you go.

However, you declined. It’s not fair and you have always been taught by your parents to work hard on your own. Earn your money and one day all of your blood, sweat and tears will pay off. Someday.

“Want me to close this one up, darling?”

Your lovely co-worker, Maria asks. She’s a couple years older than your mom and have been nothing but nice to you ever since you applied for this job. She knows all about your problem as well. Harry, his friends, the money, everything and she doesn’t judge you. You’re grateful for that,

With a smile, you nod your head softly at her as your eyes starting to get heavier. “Are you fine with that? Don’t wanna be a bother”

Maria scoffs, waving you off as she locks the cabinet. “You were never a bother, Y/N. Go get some rest, you do have another job to work at tomorrow don’t you?”

Again, you nod. Untying your white apron and fold it neatly, putting it inside your tote bag. You hug Maria as you thank her and kisses her cheek before walking out of the shop to walk home,

You see, for the past four months you work as a bartender on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, from 11 am - 3 am. A waitress at a diner on Wednesday and Friday, from 6.30 am - 12 pm and babysitting on Saturday. So the only day you don’t have work is Sunday, where you spend it almost everyday just sleeping. Wether in your bed or the couch.

Tired is the perfect description about your daily life. Though your friends are all dying to meet up with you, you know you can’t. You have absolutely no social life and you’re just waiting for all of this to end. But you’re not sure when.

As soon as you step inside your small apartment, you lock the door and throw your keys on the counter before walking upstairs and run yourself a bath. You decide to spoil yourself for a few moments then go to bed,

**

Harry is suffering.

His days are supposed to be the days where he should write new songs for his next album. But the papers are only filled with dozens of messages he wanted to say to you. Crumpled and ruined. In which he have no slight intention on throwing them away because the paper is the only source he gets to say what he wants to say. And he can’t no longer say them to you,

He knows you’ve blocked his number, he’s hurt to say at least. Numerous voicemails and messages he sent were left unopened. The thing that drives him even crazier is that he doesn’t even know where you live! He needs to know wether you’re okay or not, are you eating well enough, drink enough water or not. Or have you found someone else that can love and care for you the way he does?

The thought of you finding someone else hurt his heart but he understands why. He has to. You’ve put up with his shit—his friends included— longer than anyone else does. That’s why he loves you.

His tears hasn’t stopped either. Everyday he wakes up, and finds himself crying over you, wanting you back in his arms. Every night he falls asleep with the thought of you on his mind makes him cry while he hugs your perfume scented pillow tightly against his chest. If he can’t hold you close to his heart then maybe your pillow will do.

“You want anything, mate?” Jeff swings the door open, voice fills with concern and fear. Ever since that night happened, Harry has done nothing but cold to his friends. Except for his band.

He shakes his head, rubbing his slightly red nose with his eyes glued on the journal. “No.”

With his one simple worded answer only leaves Jeff to nod his head, grabbing his black coat from the sofa and walk out of the studio.

Mitch looks over at Sarah for a split second before settling his eyes back on the piece of white paper,

“Have you... tried to talk to her? Perhaps, reach out to her again.” Mitch asks, carefully looking up.

Mitch learns that whenever he or anyone for that matter mentions your name, he gets aggressive then cries. So he reminds himself everyday and to everyone to be careful everytime they want to speak with Harry. He’s a fragile human being right now,

Harry lets out a small sarcastic laugh, closing his journal and lean his back against the couch. “Of course i did. Many times. But she never even answered my call or text. Her friend Jenna left me on read when i asked her to tell me about how Y/N is doing. It’s hopeless, besides it’s months ago. I bet Y/N has already forgotten about me.”

His voice cracks as the last sentence comes falls from his lips. Grabbing a water bottle from the table, he takes a slow sip as his eyes begins to water and he has to inhale deeply to keep them from falling,

Sarah looks down, sighing to herself. “You’re saying that as if it’s her fault for forgetting about you that fast.”

“I wasn’t-“

“Need i to remind you that you were the one who compared her to Kendall. From her appearance to her income. Her job wasn’t fancy or popular, yeah i get that but she was struggling, Harry. Did you ever learn that your girlfriend was an immigrant when she came here? Finding a job with such a reputation was hard for people like her! They don’t immediately give you the chance to work as models, fashion stylists or musical producers like us! Think about that Harry. Or were you too wrapped up around Kendall’s or any Victoria’s Secret models fingers that you had the audacity to bring your ex girlfriend down like that!”

“Sarah” Mitch tries, trying to keep her calm,

But she isn’t having any of it. “No, Mitch he needs to hear this!” She protests as she looks over at Mitch then back again at Harry. “You out of all people should know that! You were her boyfriend for fuck sake! And she didn’t need any of you snobby asses to remind her where her insecurities lay! She already knows she don’t fit in! She knows her place Harry, and she knows she’s not as pretty as Kendall Jenner, Camille, or Georgia or Nadine. Stop moping around and hope that people will have sympathy for you because you don’t deserve mine!” She snaps, breathing in heavily and stands up to walk away, trying to calm her down,

Harry is struck. Sarah is known to be one of those people who rarely gets angry because she seems to be walking in a ray of sunshine everyday, a sweet smile never leaves her face. As if there’s nothing can bring her down.

But today is completely different, Harry watched Sarah as she outed everything she had deep down in her heart. You and Sarah have always been so close, you two are like one of those two best friends in high school. The Betty to her Veronica. And to see Harry broke your heart, played a insecurity against you made her cry too. She was disappointed in Harry.

Still, Harry can’t accept the fact that Sarah put all the blame on him when you were the one who chose to walk away.

“I love her, Sarah. What makes you think that i would intentionally hurt her like that? That night, she was the one who walked out on me. I told her that i would help her, support her, financially and emotionally. She was my girlfriend but she left!” He bursts, looking up at his bandmate with his nose flaring in anger,

Sarah looks at him in disbelief and lets out a sarcastic laugh. “And have you, really?” She questions, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know, she thought about leaving you for a long time Harry. Way before we celebrated your victory win at that club. But she stayed. Did you know? She fucking stayed. Because to her it didn’t matter if the world was against her, if the fans hated the two of you together, or even if your exes stared her down like she was a peasant. All she ever needed was you. You and Y/N against the fucking world.”

Sarah leaves it at that, before walking away from the two of them. She needs to cool down before she completely loses it,

Harry looks down on his lap, taking each and every word of hers and input them in his brain. He bites down his lip trying to contain the tears that are threatening to spill from his eyes. He presses the home button of his phone and see a picture of you laying on the bed, wearing nothing but a white duvet to cover your naked body. A toothy grin stretches over your pretty face with your eyes closes a bit,

He smiles sadly at the memory. He remembers taking the picture on the next morning after making love to you all night. It was the best night of his life, he got to hold the woman of his dreams and the dimpled smile never leave his face. He wishes he never let you walk away. He should’ve beg you to stay that night. He swears that the day after he met you, he would leave his career and dreams behind if it means being with you forever. Yes. He thought of forever and it doesn’t scared him. But it’s all too late is it?

“I miss you” he whispers, tracing a finger over your picture on his wallpaper. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m really sorry.” He gives a small peck on his phone where your lips are, imagining that you were also there with him.

It doesn’t matter if it hurts him. Because nothing compares to what he has done to you few months ago

**

“Here are your hot cakes and coffee?” You smile sweetly at the customer, placing her orders on the table,

“Thank you, can i have a napkin please?” The customer smiles back, reaching over for the coffee and take a sip,

You nod your head, telling her that you’ll be right back before going over behind the counter and grabs a pink napkin, handing it to her.

“Is lover boy coming today?” Maria asks, as she places the order on the tray and giving it to you,

Rolling your eyes, you tell her to knock it off. Earning a loud giggle falls from her lips,

“What? That man has done nothing but come here to see you. And he only comes to your shifts! Don’t tell me that he’s not in love with you”

“Maria, no!” You laugh, picking up the tray full of food and handing it to the other waitress, “he’s just been so... supportive of me. I mean-he’s been helping me taking care of my mom and sister. Did you know that he offers to pay Beatrice’s surgery?”

Maria gapes, halting her moves as she stares at you. “That’s amazing!”

However you give her a look and a slight chuckle. “Don’t get too excited, i turned that offer down.”

The answer you give, wipes the bright smile off Maria’s face. “What? Why? Y/N! A kind and handsome man who’s been there for you through these past difficult months offers you to pay your sister’s surgery and you said no? Are you kidding me, honey?”

Nope. You aren’t. Sure it sounds good to have someone pay for something so important and urgent but you can’t let him do it. Not when this man is associated with your one and only former boyfriend who has the same circle of friends that will tear you apart all over again. You can’t go through the same thing twice.

Yes. Former boyfriend as in Harry Edward Styles. Dean is his right hand when it comes to writing the lyrics. He participates 80% on his first solo album, meaning that he plays a big role on his music and that’s very important to him. Dean is one of Harry’s good friends as well, though you had never seen them hang out that much.

The two of you have become close after your messy break up with Harry. Dean reached out to you and sent his love, and truly you didn’t expect that. You’ve never interacted with Dean before then to found out that he called you by his number, left you surprised. In a good way.

Ever since, Dean has been very kind and supportive towards you. He takes you home sometimes, whenever he gets the chance. He brings you food at late night though you tell him numerous times that you weren’t hungry, he knows you’re lying so he did it anyway. He knows that you don’t have the best place to lay your head since months ago. The small and crappy apartment that you only managed to afford for now, isn’t exactly the best one yet. People are selling weed and hardcore drugs in the building, you’ve gotten sick of it but you have to hold on.

And again, he offered you to stay at his place because he can’t stand to see you at that state. But you were so head strong that it makes him upset and admired you than he ever did before, you truly are a gift.

You’ve come into a conclusion where Harry prefers to keep his toxic friends closer to him than the ones who actually brings positivity. Dean is obviously the most positive out of them all, well apart from Sarah, Mitch, Adam and you haven’t seen Clare that much.

Dean decides to keep this friendship of yours a secret between the two of you. He can’t risk of getting caught by Harry and neither can you, Harry will tear him to limbs if he finds out that his best friend is talking with his ex who he still loves dearly.

Harry does talk about you to him all the time. How he cries at night for hours and how stupid he was to let go the only good thing in his life. Sure, Dean feels guilty about it but Harry should’ve known better than playing the victim in front of him. You were the one who got walked over by Harry and his friends, the one who puts up with his shit despite the hate and the judgemental looks, you’re working your ass off to earn money though it’s not one of those jobs that you can be proudly show them off.

Dean maybe his best friend but he disagrees with everything that Harry had done. And he just felt so bad that he wasn’t there that night to stopped them.

Rolling your eyes again, you give her a lopsided smile. “I’m not kidding, Maria. I’m gonna work to get that money, by myself. I admit, i would be glad to take the money from Dean but it’s not fair. So I won’t do that.”

Maria sighs, but a smile is playing on her lips. She completely adores you, the hard work you have given throughout these past few months she has seen you, never fails to make her heart melts. The love you have for your family is completely indescribable. And she prays that you’ll hold on to that,

“Okay, then suit yourself. Now, go ahead and brings this order to the coupl right over there.” Maria points with her thumb, sliding the tray to you. “I think there’s someone outside would love to meet you”,

In confusion, you turn your head around and spot a familiar young man with brown hair smiling softly at you. He gives you a gentle wave as soon as you turn around, mirroring his smile.

You hold your finger up, telling him to wait for a minute before taking the tray off the counter and place it on the couple’s table next to the window. Maria glances at you and gives a playful smile which you silently tell her to knock it off,

Dean is leaning against his car with hands in his pockets when you walk out, smiling over at you before regaining his posture to stand straight. A shy smile casts over your lips when the two of you greet with a friendly hug,

“Hey. What are you doing here?” You ask soon as the both of you pull away from each other’s embrace. “My shift is almost over.”

He nods, shrugging. “I know, that’s why i’m here.”

You stare at him with a sketchy look on his face, baby blue eyes staring at your brown ones and you can’t read what is going on his mind. “Okay...? what is it?”

“Was just thinking that maybe... you can swing by at the studio today.”

After he mentions the word studio, your face fall. Does he really thinks by bringing you over to the studio where your ex-boyfriend works at is a really good idea? You are not ready to face him nor will you ever be.

You let out a small laugh, “you’re crazy Dean. The answer is no. I don’t want to see Harry”

The way his name rolls out of your tongue feel so strange, considering you haven’t spoken his name for months. And honestly, that name used to give you goosebumps and the cause of your blushing cheeks. But now it doesn’t anymore.

“You don’t have to interact with him! Just stay with me. Besides, it’s not like you will be all alone. Sarah is there, Adam and Mitch are too.”

“They’re Harry’s friends��� you state with an obvious tone,

“at the moment, not really. They’re giving him cold looks lately. Won’t speak to him unless for rehearsals and songs writing. Apart from Jeff, Lucy, Don, Annie, Jordan, Kel-”

“Why am i not surprised? Those people are the ones who trash talked about me. Wether it’s in front of Harry or not, and he had no interest on defending me whatsoever.” You cut him off before he can finish, breathing in deep as you recall the last moments you had together with him. “i just-- don’t want to get hurt anymore Dean. And they are not even his friends! They’re using him. They use his name to get into clubs, restaurants, after parties, you name it. As much as he had hurt me, i don’t want him to get hurt. He’s sensitive, you know that.”

Dean only nods, he knows that his friends are nothing but utter scums. He has been observing them for months and he cannot believe that Harry is gullible enough to think that they actually cared for him. They don’t and they never did. It was always him or Mitch who looks out for their green eyed friend, but he shoves him off and tells him to mind his own business. So he left it at that.

Then to see how frustrated you are at this time, he can feel a tug at his heart. You have condoned so many things lately, seeing you’re drowning yourself in bills, taxes, jobs, sweats, tears, makes him want to take your pain away but he doesn’t even know how. 

Harry has hurt you deeply, yet he can’t understand why you still care about him. 

“You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.” he says after five minutes of silence. “If i had an ex who treated me like dirt, i wouldn’t want to see her ever again. Probably would run for my life if we were in a room together.”

You let out a small laugh, it’s not really funny but you think that he’s doing that to only lighten up the mood. You gotta give him credit for that.

“I’m sorry Dean, maybe next time yeah?”

**

Harry is now sitting on his car, parked in front of your mother’s house as he thinks about what to say as soon as he walks towards the small house.

He tries so hard to get rid of the redness that is clearly visible on his green irises, but it’s no use. The tears are still falling from his eyes, no matter how many time he tries to get rid of the thoughts when he had hurt you. Seeing you cry was the most heartbreaking sight he could have ever seen, and to know that he was the cause of your tears few months ago he could never ever forgive himself.

Before stepping out of his Range Rover, he takes a deep breath and looks over at the mirror to make himself look presentable. He doesn’t want to look gross or disgusting when meeting your mom. And he definitely doesn’t want her to think that he’s looking like this because of you, he doesn’t want to play the victim. He’s the one in the wrong,

Harry takes long steps towards the house, his body is clad with sapphire blue sweater and a beanie thrown over his head, so that the fans won’t notice that Harry Styles is around.

He doesn’t want to be that guy at the moment. He wants to be just Harry this time. The Harry that is about to ask your mother’s forgiveness in less than few minutes.

His heart beats louder as soon as he hears your mother calls after he knocks on the door. Leg is bouncing rapidly as he waits.

“Just a second!” She calls out, shuffling inside

He can hear her steps getting closer and he feels his palms are sweating. Bottom lip is taken between his teeth, waiting for her to open up the door.

The door swings open suddenly, and your mother’s exhausted face comes into view. Messy dark brown hair is pulled into a bandana, he can tell that she’s about to leave judging from her choice of clothing.

As soon as she looks up, her eyes are widen and her body freezes as she stands in the doorway. Taking in Harry’s appearance, glancing him up and down before letting out a shaky breath.

“Harry... what are you doing here, my love?”

His heart wrenches. After all this time. The talks, the looks, the whispers that had been thrown at both you and her, she still calls him an endearing nickname and nothing breaks him even more than that. He doesn’t deserve that, at all and he should be ashamed of himself

With a soft smile, he nods at her. Pulling his beanie off slowly. “Hi, Mrs. Y/L/N. Can i come in?”

Your mother is struggling what to say, and wether it’s a good idea for her to invite him in. But she knows that what happened in the past, stays in the past and she can never hold a grudge against him. 

Harry is a good man, is what she always says to you. Despite everything, she knows damn well that he is not a bad guy. And she believes that he has a good intention on coming here, she can’t reject that.

She softly nods, a smile pulling into her lips as she opens the door wider to let him in. “Of course, make yourself comfortable.”

He thanks her before stepping inside carefully, his eyes are observing the small place she called home. To say that he’s hurt is an understatement, he pays attention to every small details in the house and noticing that they aren’t in a very good condition. The ceiling has a hole on it and there’s a leak in it too, a big pink bucket sitting on the corner to capture the drops.

The kitchen is a mess. Vegetables are sprawl all over the counter, cups are messily falling over the place as well. He sees there’s a few papers laying on the coffee table, and his heart almost drops when it says ‘Eviction Letter’. There are five of them, and he doesn’t know where your mother will go from there.

He wishes he could help you and your family, but he knows that you won’t approve of him doing so. This hurts his heart more than it should be, he imagined it if it was his mom in this state. He knows damn sure that he will fills her bills with his money,

Your mother motions him to the small dining table, gesturing him to take a seat. “Here you go, mijo. Sit down” She smiles as she takes a seat as well. “Sorry if it’s a mess. Have no time to clean it today.”

Harry waves his hand off, telling her it’s completely fine before taking a seat beside her. Setting down his beanie, he clears his throat before opening his mouth to say something. But nothing comes out.

“What is it Harry? Are you okay, my dear?”

He flinches when her knuckle makes a contact with his cheek, seemingly concerned as she stares at the bags under his eyes and puffy nose which she can only assume that he had been crying for days.

Now, she knows why he’s here,

Looking up to meet your mother’s eyes, he takes a deep breath in as he reminiscing the words in his brain before pulling himself together to speak to her. He doesn’t understand how you mother treats him like her own child this moment, yet he let his friends talked shit about her and you. The love of his life.

“I’m sorry” he croaks out, sniffling as he feels his nose starting to get runny. “i shouldn’t have done it. I love your daughter more than anything in the world and i’m sorry for treating her like shit while we were together. I couldn’t find a reason on why i said all the things to her because i wasn’t thinking. Then i let my friends talked bad about you and that was completely unacceptable.”

Your mother closes her eyes for a while, sighing as she nods. She listens to every word he says to her. Her hand coming down to rub his arm slowly as he cries, fresh tears are running down his soft stubbled cheeks and he cannot stop them. No matter how many times he tries to wipe them off,

“She’s an amazing woman. And you are too, Mrs. Y/L/N. I’m sorry for being such a coward. I’m sorry for not defending you and Y/N. I’m sorry that i had the nerves to let my friends got away with the words they had thrown about you. Words cannot express how sorry i am because my mother would be livid if i treated the both of you this way.” He chuckles sadly, remembering the times where Anne would just love to give him lectures and scolds about how to treat a woman right,

‘You’re a handsome boy. Don’t go around breaking girls’s hearts, yeah? Because that will break mine too.’

“But, i hope you can forgive me Mrs. Y/L/N. I know i have no rights to say it but i hope you can.” He whispers the last sentence and lean his back against the chair, fiddling with his thumbs with his eyes looking down on his lap,

It takes a while for your mother to process all of this, and it’s not easy. She appreciates every word he had just said and she knows that Harry meant every word of it. She believes him. He’s a very good and well-mannered young man and sometimes she feels sorry of how his friends treat him like he doesn’t matter, how they can just use him for their own pleasure then discard him like a piece of garbage.

She can’t lie to him if you don’t love him anymore. You still do, but you just don’t want to admit it. Every day your heart breaks a little when the thought of not having him by your side anymore.

“I believe you, Harry. I do.” She speak with a soft smile. He looks up to her with eyes brimming red, face looking skeptical because he can’t believe the words just comes out of your mother’s mouth. “And... Y/N, she still loves you too.”

For the first time in months, his lips pulls into a genuine smile as he no longer bother to cry again. He sits up straight, leaning forward to place his arms on the table. “She does, huh?”

Your mother gives him a wide smile as she nods. “She’s just a little stubborn to admit that. You know how Y/N is, right?”

Harry lets out a small laugh, nodding his head eagerly as he remembers how hard-headed you were while the two of you were together,

“Classic Y/N” He shakes his head, suddenly missing you more than ever. “Are you going out, Mrs. Y/L/N?” He asks, changing the subject,

Your mother checks her watch and curses before standing. “I am, thanks for reminding me Harry. I appreciate you coming in here, Harry thank you.”

He hugs your mother and kisses her cheeks before pulling away from the embrace. “Where are you going? I can drop you off.” He offers, grabbing the keys from the table,

Your mother is quick to shake her head, grabbing her brown coat from the rack as she slips in on her body. “No need my love, i’ll walk.”

And in that time, she also panics. Panic because she can’t just say that she’s going to the hospital to see your sister. He’ll freak out and ended up insisting to drive her there,

“Nonsense, I’ll take you it’s fine. Just tell me where to go.”

She learns that Harry is stubborn as well. He looks at her pleadingly, and she thinks that it doesn’t matter how many times she’ll turn him down because it won’t work. He just keeps on asking and asking until she says yes. 

“To the hospital, my love.” She whispers, opening the door so the two of them can walk out,

But before Harry can take a step, the colour drains from his face and his rosy lips tremble soon as the word hospital fall from your mother’s lips. Thoughts are running on his mind as he thinks the worst possible reason on why your mother is going to the hospital with a sad look on her face.

Is your mother okay? Are you hurt? Were you in an accident or sick? Why didn’t you just tell him? Why did your mother invited him in when she was going to the hospital?

Smiling sadly, she extends her hand for him to take.

“I’ll explain in car, okay?”

**

“Maria! Can i take a rain check?” You call her out from the kitchen, busy dropping the dirty plates on the sink as you hurriedly pull the strings of your apron,

Maria barges in minutes later, her nose puffing as heavy breathe emerges from her mouth. She grabs her small towel and wipe the sweat that is forming on the crease of her forehead and down to her neck,

“Why? What happened?” She asks, eyes looking at you concerned with her hands settle on her hips. “Was it the landlord again? What was he saying?”

You shake your head, pulling your hair into a messy bun fast before checking your phone again to see if there is anymore messages from your mom,

“No. My mom told me to come to the hospital quickly. I don’t know why but it could have something to do with Beatrice. I have to get there quick.” You stumble with your words, thoughts are running through your head as you panic. Small tears starting to prickle from your brown eyes, you have no idea what to do if your mother is about to hit you with bad news. You can’t cope with that,

Maria rushes over to you and places her palms on your cheeks, trying to get you to look at her as she sees how much of a mess you are right now. “hey, hey. Stop it. Don’t over think something, Y/N. Everything is going to be okay, alright? Don’t stress this much. Your sister is fine, your mom is fine. She’s probably asking you to come over because Beatrice asked her to. You haven’t seen her in a while, right?”

You sigh, nodding your head slowly as she wipes off your tears. “yeah. Been so occupied with work i never got to see her in a month, i’m such a terrible sister.”

“You are everything but terrible! I have never seen a woman worked so hard in her life to help her family. I have never seen a woman sacrificed her school just so she can work to pay her family’s bills and sister’s surgery. I have never seen a woman so independent that she does not need a man to take care of her because she knows, she can handle herself well!” Maria snaps, eyebrows furrowing as her eyes stare at yours.

“Now, you’re going to take back everything you just said to me and get your ass to the hospital, sweetheart. Your family needs you more than this diner does. i’ll cover for you, don’t worry” She says, kicking her chin up to get you moving so you don’t have to take long.

She grabs your purse and jacket, shoving them to your hands then scrambles around the kitchen to find your house keys because she knows how clumsy you are with them. Good thing you don’t have a car, or else you would lose both of them.

“Here. Don’t rush okay? Take your time and let me know.” She softly says, kissing your forehead,

The love you have for her is indescribable. You look up to her after your dear mother, you rarely gets to see her these past few months and the only person that has the personality and mind as close as hers is Maria. 

With a nod, you hug her tight closely to your body. “Thank you so much Maria. I’ll pay you back, i promise.”

Maria rolls her eyes playfully and shushes you, “aish! No need to dear. Go on now. Don’t forget to text me!” She reminds you again, pointing her red manicured nail finger at you,

Without doing anything else, you swiftly turn around and head towards the exit to haul a cab. You usually prefer to take the bus than a cab or uber, but the station is 20 minutes away from the diner you work at and you have no time to reach there. 

Your mother has been blowing up your phone with dozens of texts, adding exclamation marks at the end of every sentences and nothing worries you more than that. Well not really. You’re scared that something already happened with Beatrice and then it would already be way too late to save her. Maybe that’s why your mom is sending you texts every minute...

To be honest, you have no idea why out of positive things that you can think of, the horrible thoughts manage to make their way to your brain and causes you much of a distress and nerves. You can’t contain them.

You’re pulling and tugging the strings of your jacket then switches to play with the hem of your diner uniform because of how nervous you get. Haven’t even realised that you’re biting down your soft lip too hard until your tongue manage to swipe your lower lip and taste a familiar metallic liquid, making you stop.

The driver parks the vehicle in front of the hospital lobby, and you’re way too deep in your thoughts that you really have no idea, you have arrived at the building. Pulling out a ten dollar cash, you shove the crumpled money towards the driver before stepping out of the car and rushes over to the receptionist and asks where your sister’s room is. 

And for Heaven’s sake! Can they go any slower?

“Room 187. Just straight towards the hall and the room is on your left” The middles age woman gives you a tight smile before resuming to type obnoxiously on her keyboard,

Muttering out a faint ‘thanks’, you fasten your pace quickly towards her room as you feel your heart beats louder and a small sweat forming on your neck as well on your forehead. You pray to God that nothing will happen to your sister.

She’s just a baby,

You waste no time to swing the door open when you spot the room already and soon your mother figure and your paled sister comes in view, they shifts their eyes to you and breathes out a sigh of relief. Your mother smiles at you and gives you a hug, letting it lingers for a while before pulling away.

“Thank God, you’re here.” She sighs, looking at you in the eyes. “What took you so long?”

Pulling your jacket off, not once your eyes leaves your mother’s neither on your sister’s. “What happened? Is she okay?”

Beatrice looks over at you and smile weakly before coughing furiously, lifting her arms slowly at you. “Y/N” She croaks, holding another cough in her throat. “I’m so glad you’re here”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you smile back, taking slow steps closer to the bed and gently wrap your arms around your baby sister’s fragile body. Sobs breaks out of you when you pull away from the embrace, but your hands still tightly wrap around hers, not wanting to let go.

“I’m sorry for not being around much. How are you feeling?” You softly ask her, moving your arm a little to not nudge her injected dorsal palm. 

She nods, eyes turning into slit and you can only assume that she’s pretty much exhausted. Perhaps from waiting for you and the dozens of medications they keep giving her. “I’m okay. Was just... waiting for you.”

You reply with a smile, gazing at her with much love and admirable in your eyes. The moment soon cuts off when your mother brings up a topic that had your eyes nearly pops out of their sockets.

“Pay her surgery? What? Who” You demand an answer from your mother, though you can see how she struggles not to say any word. But it’s too late to back out, your mother chooses to say it. “Tell me, who mama. Was it--was it, Dean?”

She’s quick to shake her head, moving her seat closer to sit by the bed so she can talk better with you. You watch as few strands of her dark brown hair falls to cover her eyes, causing her to push the hair back behind her ear.

“No, chica. it’s not... him. It was someone else” She speaks, hands intertwining as her voice gets lower, as if she’s afraid that you will break into a rage once you finds out who it is.

Feeling frustrated and annoyed, you give her a cold laugh. Eyes moving back and forth to look at her then back to your sister, who’s breathing is heavy and slow. You wish you can take the pain away from her.

“Are you just going to keep me waiting or what?” You ask with a rough tone in your voice. You don’t want to be mad or pissed, but you have sworn to yourself and to your family that you will pay your sister’s surgery with your own money. it’s a risk but she finds it better than to have herself rely on someone else’s cash.

The silence is driving you crazy. Because you try to get her to say what she wanted to say yet she can’t seem to find the courage in her to say it. Your mother looks down on her lap, debating on wether she should say it but mostly, she’s mentally beating herself up for speaking out too fast.

“It’s Harry.” You mother says at least, eyes looking up as she waits for you to burst out any second.

Then your face paled, brows furrowing as you retreat your hands from your sister’s causing her to whimper at the sudden contact. You cannot believe your ears! Is your mother insane or hallucinating?

“Harry? What the hell are you on about, Mom! This is not funny.” You snap, eyes burning in anger as you think to yourself how stupid and inconsiderate her mother is that she can pull out a joke at the time like this. “Come off with it, mama! Don’t fuck around!”

Suddenly your mother’s fear and concern turns into an anger soon as she hears you spoke the word. She sits up straight and lean forward. “Listen here Y/N. You will not talk to your mother with that kind of tone and words. You’re still my daughter and i’m still your mother. Respect me as your own or so help me God, i will kick you out of our lives!”

She finishes with a heavy breathing, glancing at Beatrice for a moment as she pleads to her to not start any fight. Your mother feels guilty afterwards, she shouldn’t have done it at the hospital. That’s just going to hurt your sister alot more.

You take a deep breath, nodding at your mother but still you’re upset and confuse of how your mother could bring up Harry this moment. You want to know why.

“I’m sorry. But please, explain to me what’s going on. What are you talking about? He didn’t even know you exist mom!” you jokingly add the last one but still manage to keep your tone firm. “Just tell me the truth. I won’t get mad.”

“He came to my house earlier. We... talked about something. Then he offered to drive me here and i told him why i had to go to the hospital. He broke down as soon as i told him what happened to Beatrice, my love. He cried... extremely hard and asked me how i was going to pay for all of this.” She explains, voice gentle as she traces her thumb over Sofia’s palm. “I told him that you’re paying. And that you had to quit school just so you can have three jobs to pay her surgery. He didn’t like the sound of that, chica. He knows how much you love your studies, so he can’t bare it. He wanted to pay for it all.”

“He’s a good man, Y/N. Please, you need to give him a chance.” Beatrice pleads, voice breaking as she speaks but you ignore her.

You sit there speechless. How dare for him to came to your mother’s house, asking for forgiveness and pay for all your sister’s medical surgery then hoped everything will turn out fine! That is not how it should goes and you can’t believe your mother would believed that man after he lets his friends said about your family. Your mother forgives way too easy and it has always been a trait of hers you particularly dislike.

“What the-” You stand up quickly, going to the other side of the room, pacing back and forth because you have no idea how to fucking deal with this. “How did he even find you? Mom, we can’t trust him okay? This has nothing to do with my break-up with him but who knows what he will about to say next! He would probably rant this shit out to his friends and i will no-”

“Carmen, i got you the caramel macchiato hope you like it. The espresso ran out. The line was super long.” A familiar voice cuts you off with a small chuckle follows after. 

It’s Harry.

His eyes moves from your mother’s figure to your eyes and shock is evident on his beautiful face. Breathing stops and mouth parts open as he struggles what to say next. He can sense that he’s about to loose his grip around the coffees.

You’re here. You’re really here.

“Y/N, y-you’re-” He says, still looking at you,

You scoff, not in the mood for any of this. “Save it. I’m gonna get some fresh air.” After that, you quickly move towards the door and shoves him with your shoulder, walking out of the room as you runs to exit the building.

Tears starts to stream down your face. After not seeing him for months, he’s finally there standing in your sister’s room. Thoughts are running on your head, not knowing how to face him nor your mother at this point. You should feel happy and grateful that Harry offered to pay but you don’t want to be someone else’s gossip anymore. This is completely bullshit and you refuse to even stand near him after your break-up.

“Y/N! Wait!” He calls out, you crane your neck briefly to see him running to you, nearly knocking a few people. “Slow down, please! I want to talk to you”

You don’t listen, you keep walking and walking as you finally walk out of the building. Breathing out a shaky breath, you pull out a pack of cigarette from your purse as you struggle to take one stick out.

You heart someone’s panting from behind and you don’t doubt for one bit that it’s not Harry. Hand running over his brown hair as he tries to get closer to you, a frown on his face after he sees you holding something that he hates.

“Y/N, love. Please listen to me.”

Shaking your head, you turn your head about to leave. “No. Leave me alone.”

You haven’t even take a step because Harry has already marches his way towards you and grabs your fore arms, turning you to look at him as you squeal and struggle to let go from his grip.

“Let me go! You don’t deserve to be here. Just go, Harry!” You shakily says, sniffling as your eyes meets his green ones. The eyes that you adore throughout your relationship.

“Not until you listen to me.” He states again, and he hasn’t notice that he’s crying until he sees you. Here, standing close to him with his hands wraps around your delicate ones. “I’m sorry.”

Closing your eyes you look down, shaking your head as you continue to struggle so he can let go of his grip. You don’t want to heart this. You had enough. He hurt you badly that the thought of you talking with him again had not once crossed your mind. 

You miss him but you don’t want to talk to him ever again.

“I was a fucking asshole to you. I was a terrible boyfriend and i let those people got into my head. You were so perfect for me that you’re willing to give up everything including your classes. But i was so blind to see that.” He whispers, sobbing but he keeps maintaining his posture and say what he needs to say because he does not want to lose you again.

“You have done everything for me. Sacrificed nearly everything as well and i didn’t give a single damn about it. They--they were wrong about you. They were wrong about your family, they were wrong about your mother, they were wrong about your background and it pisses me off that it’s all they care about.” He continues, hands slowly falling to rest on your hips and his heart moves a little to see you’re not pushing them away.

“It doesn’t matter, Harry. It doesn’t matter now, you’re too late. I-- i refuse to let you or any of your friends talk like that about me. You have no idea what it’s like okay?!” You yell at his face, hands on his chest to keep him from coming closer. “You have no idea what it’s like to have a mother who doesn’t have a decent job, a father who went to jail for something he didn’t do, a sister who’s life is on a line because i have no fucking idea if she will survives or not!”

You break out into sobs, pouring everything you haven’t got the chance to say to him. He looks hurt. Hurt because he had no idea about everything that has been going on in your family and he’s a fucking dumbass. Why? Why would he hurt you like that?

“People look down on me many times. Including your friends. But i stayed because i loved you, Harry. I loved you fucking much and you didn’t care.” Tears are blurring your vision and it’s pointless to wipe them away, knowing they just keep on coming. “We won’t work. We won’t ever work.” 

He shakes his head, hands grabbing the either side of your face as he forces you to look back at him again. “No. No, no, no, no. We will work. We will, okay? I-- i love you, Y/N. I never stopped, i missed you laying next to me and i missed seeing you looking at your laptop for God knows how long because of school’s paper and it breaks me to hear it from your mom that you quit. I can’t let you do that, i want you to do something that you love. That’s why i’m offering, Y/N.” he reasons, thumbs wiping the salty liquid falling from your eyes.

“I care about them and i care about you. I love you.”

There’s a million reasons why you should give him up at this moment. You can’t bare the thought of getting hurt again in the future, that would be a huge risk. Heartbreak is something that you had overcome for numerous times and you can’t say that it wasn’t a big deal. Because it was. And you don’t know how long you can pull this through. You’ve lost so many good thing in your life and you can’t ask to God to give them back to you.

But, you still love him. Despite everything he had put you through, you still love him. The love in his eyes is undeniable, it’s all for you and not even him can’t deny that. He’s a beautiful person, inside and out. He would never ever had the intentions of hurting someone on purpose. Especially the one he loves. And that is you.

Your mother always says, ‘beautiful person deserves second chances. But remember it’s not the beauty of appearance you should see. It’s their hearts.’ She always reminds you of that with every chance she got.

And maybe... you should.

“Harry... i would be lying if i say i didn’t miss nor love you” You watch as his eyes lights up a little but he knows deep down that he can’t get his hopes up. “I’m not sure how we’re going to do this but... i’m willing you give you a second chance.”

He breathes out a small laugh, nodding his head rapidly as he feels the butterflies erupts his stomach. He truly can’t hide the excitement over the fact you still love him.

“Okay, baby. Okay. I’m just, so glad to have you back. Also i wanted to let you know that i’ve cut ties with all of them. Told them to never speak to me again or there would be a hell to pay.” He assures, biting down his lips trying not to smile hard because he knows for a fact that his cheeks will hurt.

You nod, stretching your lips into a happy smile. “Okay. I’m-- glad to heart that but you shouldn’t hav-”

“No. I should. And i’m glad i did. Fuck them. They have no rights to say that about you.” He scoffs, cursing them over and over in his head. “You’re the love of my life, Y/N. Thank you. Oh my God, thank you baby”. He whispers, slowly leaning into your lips and presses his rosy ones to kiss you,

It catches you off guard but you kiss him back nonetheless, and you feel him smile against your soft lips because you decides to. Nothing truly makes him happier than this. Nothing.

As the two of you disconnect your lips, smile is adorn on both of your faces. Foreheads leaning against eachother, unable to contain the small giggle that escapes from your lips.

“Welcome home, baby”

[heartsoftruth]

NEYMAR'S MOTHER ENDS DATING WITH MODEL TIAGO RAMOS, CONFIRMS ADVISORY

The courtship of Nadine Gonçalves with Tiago Ramos ended. Neymar's mother decided to put an end to the publicly assumed relationship on April 12, after numerous controversies surrounding the 22-year-old model's name. The information was confirmed to EXTRA by Nerymar's press office on Wednesday afternoon. Tiago must leave the flat Nadine rented for him in Santos, on the coast of São Paulo.

The doubt as to whether Nadine was going to continue with the romance became even greater after an audio leak from Neymar leaked with the "parças" calling his stepfather "viadinho" and demonstrating that he was against the courtship and also denying the version of his mother and the advice itself press release that Tiago had suffered a domestic accident on the day of the fight between them, in Neymãe's apartment, two weeks ago.

The romance went well, even with all the controversies surrounding the name of Tiago, as the news that he was accused of assaulting an ex-girlfriend in Spain. Nadine was in love, but the couple's friends did not believe she would continue her relationship with Tiago after the last event. Especially with family pressure, which is against dating. "She is very scared," said a source.

Last Friday, Tiago and Nadine testified at the 3rd DP in Santos, where the investigation was opened. At the time, the model confirmed that there was an argument between them and said, however, that the cut on the arm was caused by a "domestic accident". The police have started investigations and will listen to Nadine's neighbors who heard the screams during the fight.

According to reports by EXTRA sources Tiago "freaked out" and lost control after consuming alcohol during a couple's dinner. The model started screaming and broke his cell phone.

Startled, Nadine cried a lot, trying to calm her boyfriend. Tiago was silent for a few minutes, but he was exalted and even more disturbed, shouting that he was going to get hurt and even threatening to kill himself. It was at that moment that he punched the window pane, injuring his right arm. According to people close to him, there was no attempt to attack Nadine. Neighbors who heard all the confusion report that only Tiago screamed, while Neymar's mother cried a lot.

Friends close to the model reported to EXTRA that he is quite aggressive, especially when he drinks or feels jealous, and that Tiago has already tried to kill himself several times. "When he drinks, he is crazy, he breaks everything and he has tried to kill himself several times. He is psychopath in jealousy. Really crazy, trying to kill himself, breaking the whole house," said a source linked to the model. Nadine once broke up with Tiago once.

[aparticularbandit]

okay - a couple of new polls (because it's been a few months and i like checking in on y'all every now and again)--

this poll wants to know which project you are most interested in - of the projects i've already started posting and of the ones i haven't posted but have started writing. it's more streamlined, so it doesn't include everything's coming up rose's - it mostly concerns itself with current started projects and projects i know y'all wanted. this gives me a slightly clearer direction of what projects to focus on in terms of backlog.

this poll asks which upcoming project you are most interested in - this is stuff i haven't started posting but (in most but not all cases) have started writing. this gives me a slightly clearer direction of what projects most interest you and what you would like to see in terms of new stuff.

under the cut, you'll find a more detailed description of the projects mentioned in the polls.

i would appreciate it if you vote in both polls, as they both do slightly different things.  most of the time when i do general what do you want to see polls, they are open so that you can click on as many options as you want, but for these in particular, i do want it specified to the one you are most interested in seeing.

If You Lived Here, You’d Be Home Now is an AU inspired by Luisa’s time at the mental institution after having the Carla breakdown during her residency.  Rose is very much also there, as are characters from WFRR and Hannibal, but it primarily focuses on Luisa and her mental health and how Rose, in this incarnation, affects that.

Luisa and the Fox is a fairy tale AU inspired by the idea of the kumiho.  In it, Luisa finds herself being watched over by the titular fox while also trying to take her revenge on the fox who killed her mother and father.

A Christmas at Longbourne is a Hallmark Christmas movie AU.  After her yodeling girlfriend breaks up with her, Rose finds herself without her room at her hotel and is sent up to the otherwise empty hotel in Longbourne, where she spends most of her time with Luisa, the hotel owner.  There are also other complications, such as hotel repercussions and Luisa’s not girlfriend, Allison.

Emilia Antonia is a university prof/prof AU.  Luisa, the titular Emilia Antonia, is hired by a university for the prestige that comes with hiring her.  But Luisa keeps her anonymity and keeps encountering another new professor, Rose Ruvelle, who is determined to figure out just who Emilia Antonia is.

Sin Rostro is a 1920′s AU.  Luisa Alver submits herself to the mob boss Sin Rostro to pay off her younger brother (Rafael Solano)’s debt and ends up working at The Marbella, an escort service / brothel run by Petra Andel, where she meets Rose Ruvelle, Sin Rostro’s personal favorite.  Meanwhile, Rafael is still trying to work with the police to capture the mob boss who killed their father.

Soulmate Timer AU is what it says on the tin.  It is a collection of one-shots, the first featuring Rose and Luisa and when their timers went off, the second of which focuses on Jane Villanueva and when her timer goes off quite unexpectedly.

Dreamers Often Lie is another soulmate AU that combines three soulmate tropes: body-swapping with your soulmate for a minute at midnight on New Year’s after your (redacted) birthday; being able to enter the dreams of your soulmate whenever you desire after that body-swap; and being able to see your roommate as through a mirror when looking into the reflections on bubbles.

Where The Lightning Strikes The Sea is an HP AU.  Intended to stretch seven books during the same time period as the original series, Clara Ruvelle, Luisa Alver, and Janet Sparks deal with various events and characters both from the original series and unique to their story as they go through their seven years at Hogwarts.  The first book focuses on their first year at Hogwarts (their sorting, how they meet, the interactions with their families, etc.) and sets up for future installments in the series.

Crossovers are exactly as mentioned in the poll.  This includes the Pokemon AU, the ODAAT fic (Heart in Motion), the Tick fic(s) (Aftershocks), and other crossovers I may have mentioned (like the epic superhero crossover I detail more below).

Falling is a post-season 5, primarily canon compliant fic, which means, as far as I know at this point, Rose is dead.  Luisa is asked by her old therapist, Alana Bloom, who is now retired, to come visit her and her significant other, Margot Verger, in a way that is mutually beneficial to both of them.  This fic deals primarily with Luisa processing Rose’s death and what that means and who Rose is to her.  The style can be jarring due to flashbacks that detail Luisa’s relationship with Rose, as well as the potential of hallucinations, and possibly trying to determine which is which.

Everything’s Coming Up Rose’s is a 90′s rom-com AU.  Clara Ruvelle owns and runs the titular bakery, maintaining as much of her recently deceased mother’s character and charm as possible, including the weekly family baking evening.  Luisa Alver and her daughter, Mia, under the names Emilia and Anya, are invited to the family baking by a friend of Clara’s, who happens to end up being their across the hall neighbor when they move into the city.  Also includes subplot dealing with why Luisa and Mia are using different names.

Luisa and the Child is a sequel to Luisa and the Fox (see above).  It focuses on the continuing adventures of Luisa and Rose, now human after the events of the first book, as well as detailing a little more about fox interactions with humans.  The blonde detective seen in the first book is also a major player here.

Epic JTV/SG/Tick/Timeless/AC Crossover is basically what it says on the tin.  Years after the death of Rose Ruvelle (still debating on her supervillain status, basically whether she is one), Luisa Alver, her ex girlfriend, and Miss Lint, her second in command, both believe that she is still alive.  Their theories seem to be confirmed when Luisa receives a mysterious suit that seems to be connected to Rose.  Meanwhile, Emma Whitmore and Whitney Frost, both previous members of Rose’s troupe, seem to have moved on and work at L-Corp under the steady watch of Rhea Morrigan, who oversees the company’s new projects, particularly those involving aliens and travel through time and space.  Meanwhile, Supergirl, etc. find themselves at odd with a being known only as The Phantom, who gives them clues related to aliens they already were keen on capturing.  It is unknown whether The Phantom is friend or foe, as she seems to operate under her own guidance.  The Phantom is a particular rival of Miss Lint, a villain who might be super but seems to be nowhere near as dangerous as others they have been facing.  This fic may also include crossover characters who are played by the same actor(ess) - Kelly Olson/Nadine, Petra/Anezka/Psi/Pyotr - as well as characters who may have died in one (or more) of the series not being dead - Astra In-Ze - but this is still being hammered out.

[bornoffside]

Waiting Game (pt.2) - Neymar Jr

Alright, it took a while but it’s done...and it’s super long again, I’m hopeless! Not sure how I feel about it, but eh! @youcancallmeaphrodite, I hope you like it :) 

It had been a long time since he had slept so well.

Not because of the old cliched ‘I can only sleep if you’re close to me’ scenario, instead it was the fact that Gisele had an amazing mattress. If anything, knowing that she was still pressed up against him and fast asleep did the opposite of calming his nerves. He was hyperaware of the fact that her bare leg was thrown across his hips, and he could have sworn she was wearing shorts or at least something other than lace panties when he held her the previous night. Not that he was complaining.

There was too much to think about in his current situation instead of worrying about her choice of sleepwear. Like the fact that her face was buried in the crook of his neck, her lips unknowingly resting against his Tudo Passa tattoo. It was funny really, that was likely a phrase she needed to hear herself, and he intended to be the one to get her through this.

Whatever it takes.

Now he sounded dramatic, even to himself. But this was an opportunity he wasn’t sure he would ever get, and he wasn’t letting it slip through his fingers. Not this time.

Another thing to think about was the fact that her covers had shifted a little too far down, and his hand was cupping the smooth thigh that pinned his hips in place. God, a single thigh was doing things to his body that he hoped she wouldn’t notice when she woke up.

He told himself to move it, but it just wouldn’t budge. He never thought he’d be in this position. Not just physically, but he never thought he would get the opportunity to be anything more than the ‘playboy’ she saw him as. If she woke up in that moment and realised that she didn’t want him anywhere near her, or she decided to ignore the moment of vulnerability that he had tried to help her through…he didn’t know what he’d do.

It would be cruel to give him hope, and then snatch it away as soon as she was thinking clearly. But if this was the only time he’d be able to hold her like this, then there was no way that he was moving that hand, even if he could hear his heart beating in his ears.

No, wait.

That wasn’t his heart. It was the front door. Neymar prayed that whoever it was just decided to leave without knocking again, the last thing he wanted was Gisele waking up before he thought of what he would say to her once she did. His prayers went unanswered, and a slither of panic shot through him when the heard the front door swing open.

Oh boy…he hoped that Gisele hadn’t given a spare key to Alexandre. But he wouldn’t deny that the thought of Alex seeing his ex-girlfriend wrapped around him in little more than just a Brazil NT jersey was the big ‘fuck you’ he deserved.

Instead the person that swung Gisele’s door open was someone Neymar never wanted to see him in this sort of position, and he was suddenly beyond grateful for the thigh that was hiding his erection from the wide eyes of Nadine’s big brother…and Neymar’s captain.

Thiago’s hand was still gripping the door handle, but he stood as still as a statue. His dark eyes flickered between Neymar and his little sister - who was sprawled out across him in a position he never wanted to see his little sister in. Thiago’s brows furrowed in confusion as soon as he processed just what he was seeing, and the glare he shot Neymar was clearly asking for some sort of explanation. Instead, Neymar simply raised a finger to his lips in a shushing notion that had Thiago cocking a brow at the audacity.

Thiago jerked a thumb over his shoulder, and Neymar knew that he’d have hell to pay if he didn’t follow the silent order. His head flopped back down onto the soft pillow as soon as Thiago left the room, and he sighed in defeat.

Gisele must have been a very heavy sleeper, because she barely even flinched when he gently slid out from underneath her. Despite this, he tried his best to tiptoe out of the room without a sound.

He didn’t notice the soft smile his efforts had earned him.

Perhaps she should have told him that she was awake, but that would mean having to move and she was oddly comfortable. In addition to that, she was also completely embarrassed. Gisele couldn’t even imagine how much of a burden she had been for him last night. Consoling her was probably the last thing he wanted to be doing, but she couldn’t express how grateful she was to have him there.

But Gisele was more than happy to let him deal with Thiago on his own for now, her brother was never overbearing when it came to her decisions. He trusted her to make the right ones for herself, she wasn’t an idiot. It wasn’t like anything happened between them anyway.

Neymar would be just fine, she told herself.

“You want to explain to me what the hell I just saw?”

Neymar cringed at the hard tone Thiago was using.

“I know what it looks like but-“

“She has a boyfriend, Neymar! You can’t just go around slee-“

“He cheated on her.”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Thiago’s voice rose with his temper, and Neymar was quick to harshly shush him again.

Thiago grit his teeth. “Stop shushing me, and tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay, alright.” Neymar raised his hands in surrender, and small amused smile playing at his lips. Thiago wasn’t someone who got truly angry very often, so it was a little strange to see it.

“Last night when I left your house, I found her walking along the street. She was a mess, man…she found out that Alex cheated on her and I didn’t want to leave her alone so I brought her home.”

“I’ll kill him.” Thiago was seething on the inside as he paced her kitchen like a wild animal. To not only hurt his sister like that, but make her walk home at that time of night…it was asking for trouble and he’d be sure to let Alexandre know exactly what he thought of him the next time he saw him.

Neymar snorted. “Not if Paulina and Coco get to him first. He’s a dead man.”

“Is she okay?”

“Of course she’s not okay.” Neymar looked at him as if he had asked the dumbest thing in the world.

“No, I mean…should I call Isabele and tell her to-“

“No.” Neymar hadn’t intended to snap at him, and even Thiago looked startled at his tone. “I mean, she doesn’t have to. She has work…I’ll stay with her.”

The silence stretched on for a little while as Thiago assessed his teammate. Neymar was showing no signs of backing down, going so far as to stubbornly cross his arms and stare at him defiantly.

“Are you forgetting that we have training in 45 minutes?”

Neymar’s eyes shot over to the clock on Gisele’s microwave. He completely forgot about training after all that had happened the previous night. Thiago was right, they did have training in 45 minutes…but he was hardly prepared for it, both mentally and physically.

“Wait, then why are you here?”

“Oh!” Thiago quickly reached into his back pocket. “Gisele left her phone at my place last night. But don’t change the subject.” He looked at Neymar sternly.

Neymar rolled his eyes as if Thiago was making a big deal out of nothing. “I’m not going to training today.”

“Excuse me? Uh, yes you are.” Thiago scoffed. Like hell was he going to just let one of his teammates skip training because he didn’t feel like going. He was captain for a reason.

Neymar cocked a brow. “Look, I’ll talk to the boss and tell him it’s a family emergency if I have to. I just don’t think she should be alone right now.”

Thiago just didn’t understand why Neymar cared so much. It’s not like she’s his sister, he thought. But he also knew his sister better than anyone, and he knew that the last thing she would want is another person there when she probably only wanted to be alone. Oh well, it was Neymar’s funeral. He could deal with her temper himself.

“Fine, do what you want.” He held his hands up in surrender. “Just make sure you’re there tomorrow. I’ll come by to see her tonight.”

With that said, Thiago showed himself out.

Gisele had stepped out of her bedroom soon after Thiago had left, and they had chatted for a while. It was nice, being able to talk to her without the snark or disapproving looks she used to send him. But one of the best things about Gisele was that she liked to joke.

She knew how to make people laugh, and she was witty with her responses. Being able to put everything aside and just enjoy his time with her was something he couldn’t have been more grateful for.

They hadn’t discussed the elephant in the room just yet, even though Gisele had sheepishly apologised to him for ‘being a total mess and dragging him into her problems’ as she had put it. But there was no mention of Alexandre…but now they had to talk about him.

Gisele had gone out to get them some lunch, they were both in the mood for Mexican, and Neymar was sprawled out on her couch tapping away at his phone when the front door finally swung open.

“I’m back!”

Neymar quickly sat up from the couch, turn his screen off and chucking his phone on the cushions beside him.

Gisele smiled gratefully when he took the heavy bag of drinks from her, and they made their way to the kitchen. Neymar knew he should tell her as soon as possible, despite not wanting to ruin her seemingly good mood.

“Okay, so I ended up getting Italian-“

“Gisele…”

“-I know, I know! I wanted Mexican too, but the guy ran out of tortillas-“

“Gisele.”

“-I know! I was thinking the same thing! What kind of Mexican restaurant runs out of tortillas?”

“Gisele!” She almost flinched, and he felt bad for raising his voice when she looked at him with those startled big brown eyes.

“Huh?”

“Uh, Alex came by…” Neymar scratched at the back of his neck nervously, watching as her shoulders slumped at the revelation.

“Oh.” Her voice was quiet, and she continued bustling around the kitchen in search of cutlery and cups. He knew she was trying to keep her mind off of the conversation as much as she could. “What did he want?”

She sounded nonchalant, but there was a tension in her voice that he thought sounded like she either wanted to scream or cry…

Neymar frowned when he heard a short knock at the door. He knew Gisele had taken her keys with her so he didn’t know who it could be. Needless to say, he was not a happy man when he answered the door.

“You.” Neymar’s lip curled in a mix of anger and disgust.

Alex sighed in defeat. He didn’t even bother feeling surprised when Neymar answered the door, and he knew the Brazilian hated him with every fibre of his being…for multiple reasons now. Even if Gisele was too blind to see it, Alex hadn’t been. He could see the love in Neymar’s eyes whenever he looked at his girlfr- ex-girlfriend.

“Neymar…hi.”

He didn’t even bother returning the quiet greeting, instead the Brazilian crossed his arms defensively and maintained the steady glare he was shooting Alex’s way.

“You finally told her, huh?”

“N-Not exactly…” Alex avoided his gaze, a look of regret crossing his features.

Neymar cocked a brow at his shaky response. “How did she find out then?”

“It’s a long story.” Alex shook his head, brows furrowing because he knew he was getting off topic. “Look, I know what I did was wrong-“

“If you’re going to try to appeal to me of all people, then you’re dumber than I thought.”

Alex scoffed at the insult. “That’s not what I’m trying to do. I think we both know I’ve ruined my chances with her completely.”

“You sound upset about that.”

“I am upset about it.” The Frenchman snapped. He knew Neymar was probably over the moon at the news. But he really did love Gisele, and this was not as easy for him as Neymar thought it was.

“You didn’t seem too worried about it when I saw you at the club last month with your new girl.”

Alex was shaking his head before Neymar had even finished talking. “That wasn’t what you think it was.”

It was true, he had been with her a month ago. It was one of the reasons Neymar glared at him every time he so much as approached Gisele after that. Soon, Alex had completely avoided going to any parties that Neymar would be at too. Neymar always tried to drop little hints for Gisele but he had never outright told her about the disruption to their seemingly happy relationship.

The Frenchman ran a hand across his short hair. “Lucille is my best friend, she left Paris years ago but…it had been so long. We just connected and I didn’t mean for anything to happen, it was never-“ He cut himself off when he realise he was ranting.

He sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day. “I just want to apologise to Gisele. I mean, I’m not going to lie, I want her back…I love her. But I made a mistake, and if she never wants to see me again…” It hurt him to even think about, but that was his reality. A very likely outcome, considering Gisele vowed to never give a cheater a second chance.

“You knew?” Gisele looked at him with a trace of betrayal on her face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She could see the regret on his face.

“Would you have believed me?”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Would she have believed him? Probably not. Alex was almost perfect, until he wasn’t…and Neymar was Neymar. No, she wouldn’t have believed him.

“I wanted to tell you…I was going to, but I didn’t want you to hate me anymore than you already did.”

Her brows furrowed sadly as she looked up him, only to find him staring down at the ground. Did he really think that? Had she treated him so poorly that he thought she hated him?

“Neymar…I know I wasn’t very nice to you, and I’m sorry that I made you think that. But I have never hated you. I will never hate you, okay?”

He nodded slowly in acceptance, happy to hear the words but not wanting to think too much of it. It’s wasn’t like she had just professed her love for him. Besides, he had left out the most important part of Alexandre’s visit.

“He said…he said he wants you back.” Neymar held his breath, knowing this could go either way.

“Well that’s too bad for him.” She didn’t even bother trying to hide the bite in her words.

Gisele couldn’t care less what Alexandre wanted, he didn’t get to just show up at her house unannounced because he ‘wanted her back’. What kind of asshole thought that cheating was something that could be forgiven?

“You’re not even going to consider it?”

She cocked a disbelieving brow at Neymar’s words, but she had mistaken his intentions. He wasn’t trying to make it sound like Alex deserved another chance, he was just relieved that Gisele wasn’t giving him one.

“I mean, I’m glad you’re not…I just-“

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” She waved him off, knowing he meant no harm.

“So, uh, how are you feeling?” He almost cringed at the question but she didn’t seem to bothered by it and merely shrugged.

“I don’t know. I just, I don’t know…I feel like I should be a mess right now, but I’m okay for now. Maybe it’ll hit me later.”

“Well then, I guess we’ll just have to keep your mind off of it.” He shot her a smile, despite the curious way she was eyeing him.

“So, show or movie?”

She hummed, taking a moment to think about it.

“FIFA.”

He grinned at her response before shaking his head with an overly dramatic sigh. “A girl after my own heart.”

She chuckled as she made her way to the couch, and he followed with a smile on his face, recalling the final thing Alexandre had asked of him.

“Neymar?”

The man in question paused before he could swing the door shut, looking at Alex with raised brows.

“Just…take care of her, yes?”

For the first time since he had greeted him, Alex saw the footballer’s features soften.

He nodded confidently. “Always.”

After the day they spent watching TV and playing FIFA, Neymar had been a regular at Gisele’s house. She would visit him too, but after training he’d usually end up at her apartment, eating food and watching what felt like every show ever made - she really did love TV. But he didn’t mind, they had become friends very quickly, and Gisele would call him everyday to ask if he wanted to do something.  

The more time they spent together, the more things started to change…

He noticed little things at first. The way she stood closer to him, leaned on him when they were curled up on the couch watching movies, the way her eyes would search for him whenever they went out with friends. They were things she had never done before, things she had avoided doing more often than not. But somewhere in the months after her break-up with Alex, their own relationship had shifted. Granted, Neymar knew how he felt and he had felt that way for a long time…but even if she didn’t notice it yet, she was slowly changing the way she behaved around him.

There was a newfound comfort that came with his presence, a strange sort of bond she had attached to him ever since that night a few months ago, when everything changed. No one really knew what to think of it at first, especially Thiago, who still looked like a confused puppy whenever he saw his sister willingly spending time with Neymar. There used to be a time when they would go out and she would groan in annoyance as soon as she realised that Neymar was also there. Now she barely went anywhere unless he was going too. It was weird, but Thiago didn’t even bother trying to wrap his head around it.

It was one of those nights out that had really changed their relationship.

They had gone out with a few of the boys from the team, and while the night had started off well in Neymar’s opinion, it took an interesting turn…

Gisele rolled her eyes at the slender woman who was seductively dancing a few feet away with a suggestive smile on her face. She only had eyes for Neymar, but the Brazilian only had eyes for the grumpy woman sitting beside him in the VIP area. There was a barely noticeable smirk on his face as he watched Gisele pin the dancer with a disapproving glare that could send the toughest of men to their grave. Oh he had been on the receiving end of that look many times.

Earlier in the night, when Neymar went up to the bar to get them both a drink, the woman (Julia? Juliette?…whatever) had approached him as if it was the perfect moment she had been waiting all night for. In a way it was, but he didn’t care much for it. Sure, she was a beautiful woman…but she wasn’t his beautiful woman.

Neither was Gisele at the moment, but he was working on it.

He wasn’t surprised that Juliette had taken to dancing right in front of the VIP area, her eyes locked on his form for so long that he actually wondered if she was in some kind of trance. What did surprise him was Gisele’s reaction to the woman vying for his attention. His butt hadn’t even made it to the couch before she had already growled out an ‘I don’t like her’.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” He shook his head with a small smirk tugging at his lips.

She cocked a brow. “You have that look on your face.”


“What look?”

“The one you get when you know something I don’t know.”


“I have a look for that?” He laughed in surprise.


“Yes, it’s very annoying.” She stated matter-of-factly, but the small smile on her face reassured him that she wasn’t being too serious. “Come on, pleeeaase?” she all but whined, lightly tugging at his arm.

He laughed again, eyes flickering over her face for a moment, while he tried to figure out what to say. Gisele bit her lip lightly, trying not to smile at the strange feeling in her chest that came with his smiling face.

It was amusing and somewhat flattering. Neymar doubted that Gisele even knew what she was doing, but it gave him a spark of hope. There was always a reason behind jealousy, he knew that better than most. He had been feeling it for years whenever he saw her with someone who wasn’t himself. So when she started showing the signs that he knew so well, he could hardly believe it.

Things were changing, and he needed her to realise it.

Before he got the chance to comment, Juliette laughed obnoxiously loud, drawing attention to herself once more. Gisele scowled at the sight. The woman was flirting with some poor man who was clearly interested, but the way Juliette’s eyes flickered to see if Neymar was watching the interaction showed that she clearly wasn’t.

“What’s wrong?”

Gisele finally tore her glare away from Juliette and looked at him with a small shrug.

“Nothing’s wrong, I just don’t like her.”

How many times had she seen some over-confident woman try to sneak her way into Neymar’s bed? Too many. Surprisingly, he hadn’t accepted any of them over the past few months.

The past few months. Even she was surprised at that fact. Either he didn’t do it anymore, or he did it in secret. Either way, a few people had started to note his newfound abstinence - especially his confused teammates. 
“You don’t even know her name.” He suppressed a snort, but couldn’t stop his amused smile.

“Do you?” Gisele huffed.

Neymar tilted his head to the side, his hazel eyes scanning her appraisingly. She almost squirmed under his assessment, but she wasn’t backing down. She wouldn’t back down until he promised her he wouldn’t go there. Why did it matter so much to her? Because she was just looking out for a friend, right? It’s what friends did for each other. And they were friends…just friends.

“You don’t like her, huh?”

She squinted, looking at him like he had just asked her the dumbest question in the world. How many times did she have to say it?

“No.”

He nodded slowly in contemplation, before cocking a brow. “She’s only interested in one thing, right?”

“Yes.”

“I shouldn’t bother with a girl like that.” Neymar shook his head with faux seriousness, knowing it was exactly what she wanted to hear.

“Exactly.”

“You’re jealous.”

“I am.“ She gave him a confident nod, and he waited for her to realise what she had just admitted. It was almost comical, the way her brows furrowed in confusion, before it quickly changed to panic.

“What?” He could tell that she wasn’t asking him for an explanation, she was asking herself. “I didn’t-…I mean, I’m not-…I just-“

She cut herself off with a loud sigh before she embarrassed herself further, he was already chuckling anyway. Neymar had never heard her stammer so much, but even that was endearing, especially with the deep blush that tinted her cheeks.

“I’m not jealous.” She crossed her arms defensively, but it did nothing to make her words more believable.

“You’re not? But you just said you were.” He smiled teasingly, and it took everything in her to not back down from the challenge when he scooted closer. He was only a few inches away from her, and while she could pretend that it wasn’t affecting her, the truth was that she was more than flustered. He hadn’t looked away from her, and her accidental admission had her own mind reeling.

Because she realised that yes, she was jealous. And if she was jealous, then there had to be a reason for it, and the only reason she had for such a thing was...

Oh.

“I-I think…I need another drink.”

Neymar bit his lip lightly in disappointment, his shoulders slumping imperceptibly. But he forced a smile onto his face and made his way over to the bar.

He had assumed that she would start distancing herself from him after that, so he was surprised when she showed up at his house the next morning with breakfast. At first she acted like nothing had happened, but then he started noticing the change. The way she’d hug him that little bit tighter, and the way her gaze rested on him that little bit longer. He could physically see her catching feelings, and it did nothing to stop him from falling deeper and deeper each day they spent together, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to move past her if he ever had to.

Now here they were, 4 months later.

The TV was on but neither of them were really paying attention to the show that was on. Neymar was too focused on the fact that she was laying between his legs, with her head resting on his chest. His left hand was playing with her long hair while his right was loosely wrapped around her waist.

Gisele, on the other hand, couldn’t keep up with the thoughts flying through her mind. What exactly was she doing? This was becoming common practice for them, and she didn’t do a thing to stop it. She was acting like some clingy girlfriend, and even though he never showed it, it was probably annoying. While she had (surprisingly) come to terms with her feelings for him, she hadn’t admitted them to him…even if she had a feeling that he already knew.

There was no other explanation for his own behaviour than that. As much as she enjoyed his company, he enjoyed hers even more. They would do things together that blurred the lines between friendship and something more. They had almost all aspects of a relationship except the label and intimacy, but they both seemed to avoid taking the one step that could push them into that new territory together (so maybe he didn’t really know how she felt after all).

For Neymar there was still the doubt that came with her break-up. He didn’t want to confess to her if she wasn’t ready for it. He needed her completely detached from her ex for two reasons. The first, was because he didn’t want to be a rebound if she accepted his feelings. And the second, was just in case she rejected him because she wasn’t fully over Alexandre yet.

For Gisele there was a different kind of doubt. Neymar had entertained plenty of women in the past few years, and that was something that she couldn’t ignore. It didn’t bother her (okay, it did) that he had a long list of previous conquests, but it did make her question if she was another destined to join them. It was a doubt that could only be dispelled with his reassurance, but that would require her asking him what she meant to him…and that was a question that would only lead to her having to spill all of her feelings to him, and she wasn’t sure just what she was feeling in the first place.

What if she was reading the signs all wrong, and he was genuinely just trying to be a good friend? The humiliation she would feel if he rejected her would probably kill her. But she wasn’t interested in one night with him, not when she had spent months getting to really know him. She wanted something with him, and that scared her because this was Neymar. She had never seen Neymar like that, but she did now and it felt good to admit it to herself - she had even told Coco and Paulina, much to their surprise. The next step was admitting it to him.

But what did she even feel for him? Like? Lust? Intense lust, maybe? Was that even a thing? But she wanted more than the physical aspect of a relationship. She wanted it all with him, everything he had to offer her, and she would offer him everything in return- and ohmygod! she knew what that was.

“I can almost hear the cogs turning in your head.”

Gisele smiled against his chest, tilting her head further back into his fingers.

“What are you thinking, hm?”

“Nothing, just…” She trailed off with a sigh that hid her racing heart well. It was now or never, right?

“Just…?”

“You remember that argument we got into at that party a few months ago?”

“The one about that girl…Alana?”

“Anita.” She corrected with an amused eyeroll.

“Right, Anita.” He quirked a quick smirk at the memory, she was not happy with him that day.

In a strange sort of way, he both loved and hated seeing her angry, especially when it was at him. There was something insanely attractive about a woman’s temper (at least to him there was), and hers was his favourite. Sometimes he would intentionally annoy her back in the day, just to see that fire in her eyes. He didn’t really dare to do it now, the last thing he wanted was to drive her away. It was like a child acting out, that’s what he did. The only attention she used to give him was when he was doing something wrong, so he continued to do the wrong thing. But he didn’t need to do that anymore, it would only be counterproductive.  

“What about it?”

“You told me I didn’t know a thing, that night. I think you were right…”

Neymar shook his head with a small smile. He remembered that, and he also remembered how angry he was himself at that moment. She had just rubbed her happy relationship in his face, and he could admit to himself that he had let jealousy get the better of him, especially when he already knew about Lucille. He was bitter, and the moment she said that she knew him…well, she did technically, but she only knew what he wanted her to know. Unfortunately, what he wanted her to know was hardly anything relevant. He had hidden his feelings for years, he had pretended to be something he wasn’t (that was something she was right about), but not once did she see why he did what he did.

“Oh yeah? Why is that?”

“I never would have imagined that…I mean, I just...”

His brows furrowed lightly at her hesitance. She usually just spoke her mind and didn’t hold back when she had something to say - it was one of the things he loved about her. Neymar rubbed small circles into her back, silently encouraging her to go on.

“Ney, I think…” Okay, now she was worrying him. He’d never heard her sound so small before, and it almost sounded like she was afraid.

“It’s okay, linda…whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Just do it! Stop being a coward.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

It felt like his heart literally stopped at her swift response. He’d barely even gotten his words out before she blurted it out.

“W-what?”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.” She tried to laugh it off, but he could hear the traces of panic in her voice even if she was avoiding eye contact at all costs.


“Gisele-“

“Well, I’m glad I got that off my chest-“

“-Okay, can we just rewind for a min-“

“Speaking of getting things off of chests, I’m just going to-“

Before she could peel herself off of him, he quickly flipped them over, his face hovering her own as he studied it in disbelief.

“Oh no, you do not get to drop that on me and then walk out of here like nothing happened.”

“I wasn’t-“

“Don’t lie to me. You can’t. Because I know you, and I know everything about you. Including how much you just panicked after saying that.”

“Ney-“

“Please, just listen to me. Because I have been dying to say this for years. Okay?” Despite his commanding words, his tone was soft. Gisele sighed quietly and nodded, too busy trying to assess the look in his eyes to really put up much of a fight.

“I want- no, I need…” He emphasised the word with a desperation she had never seen on him. “I need you to make sure you meant that, because if you didn’t, you have to tell me now.”

He was giving her this chance to make sure she was certain because he loved her with everything in him, and if she didn’t 100% mean it, it would kill him in the end.  

“Ney, it’s oka-“

“No, it’s not. You don’t understand…just please, please put all of the flirting and teasing and everything else aside just for a second. I need to know.” There was an intensity in his eyes that made looking away impossible, not that she wanted to in the first place.

“Please, linda.”

His lashes fluttered shut when he felt her soft hands cup his face, her thumbs gently running across his cheekbones.

“Neymar, look at me.”

He did as she asked, and his heart thudded in his chest faster than ever when she shot him a fond smile.

“Eu te amo…I mean it. No jokes, no flirting,” She shook her head honestly, “I love you.”

Her hands moved to the back of his neck as soon as his lips met her own, playing with the short hair. It wasn’t a soft and sweet first kiss, they knew each other too well for that, and there were way too many suppressed emotions between them.

When they finally pulled apart, foreheads resting against each other, Neymar took her hand in his and laced their fingers together.

“You have no idea, how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that…how long I thought I’d never hear you say that.”

She smiled up at him when he placed a kiss to the back of the hand entwined with his own.

“Get used to it.”

“Eu te amo, linda…” His whispered against her smiling lips. “And I’m going to spend every day for the rest of my life showing you just how much.”

They both liked the sound of that.

“So…you’ve been waiting years, huh?” She grinned when he jokingly rolled his eyes.

“I’m already starting to regret this.”

Gisele laughed at his flat response. “Liar.”