#but its better for nadine

[shootingstarwritings]

Body-a-Day #2: Orb

The realm of Nadine faced utter calamity. A meteor headed off straight for the land and all seemed lost. Throughout the continent, people despaired as the news of the meteor spread.

Yet, hope was not lost. “And it shall not fall!” declared a bold young man by the name of Alfonse. He was a celebrated knight in the service of a lord of a small plot of land. Though still green in the path of knighthood, he was armed with knowledge of legends spread throughout the land. It was due to that knowledge that Alfonse set off.

“Five orbs are scattered throughout the continent,” he had told his lord. “When gathered, they are said to grant someone immense magical power to alter the very fate of the world.” With the power from those orbs, the meteor could be diverted. Perhaps even whisked away to another dimension entirely. “Please, milord… spread word of my quest. Give hope to the people of Nadine once more. That is all I ask.”

And without waiting for approval or even a response from the slack-jawed lord, Alfonse set off. He wandered the land, recruiting allies and gathering the orbs of power until he had four of the five orbs collected. A new legend took shape in Nadine, and Alfonse was right in the middle of it.

Now, the journey was near its end. Just one more week, Alfonse thought to himself as he looked up at the orange-dyed sky. He and his allies had managed to track down the fifth orb to a temple in the south.

And yet, Alfonse reminded himself, it could all be for naught. The legend could be mere hearsay with little truth to it. He couldn’t stop his hands from trembling or his heart from racing. At the start of this journey, his heart had been bursting with confidence. But now that he was so close to his goal, doubts began to muddle his mind. He had met and inspired so many people throughout his quest that the mere thought of letting them down nearly crushed heart. Either that crushes me, or the meteor does, he thought, allowing an ironic smirk to cross his face.

Alfonse took a deep breath and returned to camp with a smile that had become more and more of a burden to wear.

Unbeknownst to him, the fifth orb had already been found. Spying on Alfonse’s team just outside of camp was an old rival and fellow knight of Alfonse, Kronos. Untalented in magic yet extremely gifted in the physical combat, Kronos had been tailing Alfonse and his party for most of their quest. This last stop, the Southern Temple, was the first time he had been able to beat them to an orb. At the most pivotal point, thought Kronos. In his grip was the final orb, a cloudy thing that was about the size of his fist. Finally, the limelight will shine on me.

Growing up, Kronos had always been unable to stand out compared to Alfonse. Lacking any talent in magic, he could only distinguish himself by working on his body—becoming a beefy and powerful warrior. Sadly, Alfonse’s gift for spells and his strategic mind led to accolades that far and away overshadowed Kronos’ more meager accomplishments.

Not anymore, thought Kronos as he glared at Alfonse and friends’ campfire. He waited until they settled in for the night before making his move.

Kronos, despite his large stature, was unnaturally blessed with the gift of stealth thanks to his early days of sneaking around the mess hall for midnight snacks. He carefully made his way into Alfonse’s tent and snatched up his bag which contained the orbs. Honestly, if he’s this careless with them then they’re better off in my hands, Kronos thought.

Yes, it was for the best that Kronos stole them. He continued to convinced himself of that the whole time he snuck through the campsite. Once he managed to put a good distance between himself and Alfonse's party, he broke into a sprint, giddy as a schoolboy with gossip to spread.

Not long after, Kronos found himself in a clearing with a stump near the center. He sat down and placed the orbs in the shape of a star as the prophecy claimed.

Immediately, the orbs began to glow a myriad of colors. Kronos couldn’t help but laugh and cheer in pure joy as a ball of pure, magical light rose from the orbs and grew closer to him. He cupped his hands in front of his chest, fingers trembling with excitement as he imagined how wonderful the gift of magic would finally feel! “G-Give it to me…” he said, the corners of his eyes burning. “Give me the power to be a legend. Let me be the hero that stops the meteorite.

“Better yet,” an unfamiliar voice whispered to him. Kronos whipped his head back and forth, searching for the voice’s source. “Why don’t you give me something?” Was it the orbs? Before Kronos had time to think, the light rushed past his hands and dove into his chest.

“OOF!” was all Kronos could say as he fell back on his back. His body felt full—not simply with power, but with another entity inside.

“Give me your body!” The voice shouted in Kronos’ head. He tried to struggle and protest, but began to panic as he felt himself slowly lose control over his own body. “Don’t struggle, you’ll only be hurting yourself.”

Kronos shook his head in panic. “N-No…! S-Someone, please help!” he tried to shout, but couldn’t find the strength to speak louder than a whisper. He moaned as he felt the invasive force shifting inside of him. His arms and thighs flexed and his hands began fondling his hairy and robust chest. “P-Pervert…! There’s a pervert inside of me…” Kronos tried again.

“That’s right, my little hero,” said the voice, now echoing in Kronos’ mind. “There’s a pervert inside of you… the new Kronos. But, this body is getting quite cramped. I’m afraid your turn with it is up. But thank you for molding it into such a fine shape. Don’t worry, once your soul enters the orbs, it'll be split into too many parts to feel any of the loneliness."

So what rested inside the orbs wasn’t magical power, it was someone’s soul?! “Please don’t...” begged Kronos, knowing that Alfonse was too far away to help him. “Th-This is my body, no!” But it was too late. Kronos felt himself being sucked up and split into pieces. His very essence was being torn apart by magic that his mind couldn’t comprehend.

“A-Al… save me. Please,” were Kronos’ last words before he couldn’t think anymore.

~o~

The new Kronos grunted as he tried out his new equipment. Armor discarded, he leaned against the stump as he jacked off. “It’s like masturbating for the very first time again,” he couldn’t help but chuckle. He raised an arm and took a whiff of his new musk before placing his attention back on his deliciously plump nipples.

“Wow! This body’s so sensitive,” groaned ‘Kronos’ as he began to pant, growing closer and closer to climax. “Fuck, fuck. This is me now…! I’m Kronos, I’m Kronos,” he said, laughing in joy and pleasure as he adopted his new identity. “Fuck, fuck, I-I’m… my first climax as Kronos…! Ahh, ahh, nngh…! Oh…” He bit his bottom lip as his cock shot one, two… five loads of cum onto the clearing. “How’d… you even become a warrior… with a body as erotic as this…?” ‘Kronos’ said in between pants.

With well-trained muscles, ‘Kronos’ stood up and stretched his new body, popping several joints with groans of pleasure. Each sensation was like saying hello to an old friend. He enjoyed the blades of grass tickling his bare feat and the cool night air caressing his naked flesh. He picked up an orb left on the stump and began to tell his tale to the first audience he's had in millennia.

“My name was William. I was a gifted mage in my king's court. They doubted my power and intentions, and sealed me away. Rather, they sealed William away, but now I’m you," he said with a sneer.

"Don’t worry, the name ‘Kronos’ will go down in history, just as you desired. I’ll stop that meteorite.” He raised a hand and saw the sparks of power that danced alongside his fingers. Good. None of his magical potential had faded during the soul transfer. “For now, just rest. Perhaps someone else will gather the orbs and you can escape.” He smirked at that, knowing that Kronos’ couldn’t hear him. “Farewell!”

After a quick incantation, the orbs rose to the sky and scattered throughout the continent yet again.

[holllandtrash]

not good enough | charles leclerc social media au

paring: charles leclerc x reader

charles' girlfriend gets a lot of hate online and he usually stays out it because she knows how to handle it...but sometimes people just need a little reminder that they're in love asian faceclaim: christina nadin - british/filipino influencer

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 26,522 others

yourusername 'come to paris' charles said, 'it'll be fun' mate it literally smells like ass and i dont speak french

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charles_leclerc i've been translating everything for you, you're fine

pierregasly should have visited milan instead

charles_leclerc are you hitting on my girlfriend pierregasly milan is simply better than paris yourusername we're going to milan next time

hamiltyres shes so real for this

lightsouthannah she complains about everything why does charles put up with her

55carlando4 are they there for paris fashion week??

charles_leclerc added to their story

yourusername

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yourusername day 2

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pierregasly how did charles convince you to leave the hotel?

yourusername he told me i wouldn't have to stay for the fashion show yourusername he lied charles_leclerc 🙄🙄🙄

noviaelegante love the fit😍 check your dm's girly!

hammilstop is it just me or does y/n seen ungrateful?

jemmaf1 yeah i was thinking the same thing

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc Celine Homme 2023🖤 Merci celine

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yourusername pretty

charles_leclerc you should have came with yourusername i had nothing to wear charles_leclerc thats a horrible excuse

scuderiaferrari 😍😍😍😍

luvfrom63 i dont understand why y/n goes to paris with charles but then refuses to attend the shows

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yourusername

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tagged: noviaelegante

yourusername a sustainable fashion show that promotes empowering women living in recovering nations? sign me up

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noviaelegante so happy to have you attend🖤

charles_leclerc you should have modelled one of them

yourusername im not putting on a wedding dress until you give me a reason to

pierregasly when are you walking down the aisle?

yourusername when someone puts a rock on my finger pierregasly is this an open invitation? charles_leclerc mate dont even think about proposing to my girl

channyinthepaddock THATS what she wore to the show? girl💀

kaleyschumacher its a no from me

lewisfanclub im sorry are we not going to talk about pierre's comments????????

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc The man!! doni.nahmias

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yourusername sorry i missed your show doni.nahmias ❤️❤️

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caraf1fan charles slays at another fashion show and y/n can't even bother to attend and support her friend? what is wrong with her

mickysunshine y/n do better💀💀

yourusername added to their story

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

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yourusername these pictures were taken within 45 minutes of each other

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charles_leclerc beautiful in both 🖤

pierregasly so she does know how to dress up

yourusername its our last night in paris i figured i'd put in some effort

hannahsformula idk i still think charles can do better than her

vivvverstappen nah her and charles are a power couple and anyone who says otherwise is so so wrong

luvforlance but why hasn't charles said anything about what shes been dealing with online 💀 he defends her the same way justin bieber defends hailey

yourusername im a big girl i can handle myself

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc thank you dior for helping me end Paris Fashion Week in style

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dior 🖤😍

yourusername hot

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mickandkmags forever wondering how y/n managed to pull charles when he looks like that and she wears jumpers and sweats 99% of the time

yourusername he loves my personality pierregasly yeah sure thats it

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yourusername

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yourusername prettier than paris if you ask me

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charles_leclerc i agree

pierregasly not as pretty as milan

charles_leclerc will you please shut up about milan

pierregasly added to their story

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

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yourusername sorry, i thought a bitch on twitter said something

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charles_leclerc oh my

pierregasly oh my x2

landonorris people should piss you off more often

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charlesleclerc trust me i know

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc ma chérie

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yourusername but am i hot enough for you?

charles_leclerc i like your personality yourusername good answer

pierregasly 😧😧😧

yourusername close your eyes pierre

yellowhaas charles really said 'shes all mine'

hamiltvvn but can he fight

f1fanclubs for so long people have been saying she doesnt deserve him...besties...i think its the other way around

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this felt like a rushed ending but oh well

masterlist here

[thatssonanii]

Chapter Fifteen

A/N: Still getting back into the swing of things and repair is still going on all over the city BUT I was able to finish this chapter! (Yay!) Hope yall enjoy it! Oh and shout to the anon who told me about my masterlist! All of them are working now!! Listen, I'm not gonna yie to yall ... this one is a lil heavy! Reblog, Share, Comment and Like!

Warning: Cursing, Fighting, Death, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS, 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

Masterlist

Chapter Fourteen

DO NOT POST MY WORK ANYWHERE ELSE AND/OR CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN!

Being back in Texas usually gave Hassan a sense of dread and joy, both for obvious reasons but this time was different for him. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the actual feelings he was having but if he had to put a label on it, they would be feelings of contentment. He had been the protector for as long as he could remember but today he felt protected. They way Tamara took charge since they stepped foot back in the state. Although he expected her to want him to do all the talking with his ex-wife, she didn’t. Besides a short greeting, he hadn’t been able to say a word.  Tamara was covering all the bases and then some.

“So as I was saying, I wanted to make sure you and I are on the same page with everything.”

They sat at the breakfast table, Hassan and Tamara on one side and Nadine on the other. The women maintaining eye contact, smiles on their faces. 

“I hate that you traveled all this way and wasted your time.” Nadine shrugged. “You and I don’t need to be on the same page about anything. I didn’t marry you nor did I lay down and have a kid with you which makes you insignificant to me, Tara.”

“It’s Tamara but you’re a smart chick so I know you already knew that. I get it, I understand,” she stressed, “Hassan is a great man and a great partner so it’s hard to realize that he’s moved on to someone else but that is the reality of the situation.”

Nadine glanced at her mute ex husband and chuckled. “You think you’re special? You know how many women he’s entertained after our divorce? None of them lasted because they were not me and you’ll be the same way. San loves me and will always love me.”

Tamara reached across the table to hold her hand. “Nadine, it doesn’t matter to me whether you accept this or you decide to continue to be delusional about it. But just know if you choose the latter, Hassan will no longer be taking your calls which also need to decrease in number.”

“Hassan would never,” she spat, snatching her hand back.

She smiled. “He would because you know like I know Hassan respects his relationships. Look, Moriah is already no contact with you. I’m sure you don’t want your only point of contact for her to be gone. Do you?”

Nadine tilted her head then moved her attention to her ex-husband. “You better get your little woman on a leash. You need to help her understand that threatening me is not something that she wants to do.”

Hassan, as calm as always, put a hand on Tamara’s arm to stop her before she responded. “She is not threatening you. She is simply explaining to you what is gonna happen if we cannot come to an agreement.”

“She doesn’t have anything to do with whatever agreement or non agreement that you and I have, Hassan. None. I don’t even know why you brought this bitch to my house!”

“His house,” Tamara chuckled, catching Hassan’s pointed look, “Sorry but its the truth.”

“Oh so you got her all in our business, huh? She’s met my daughter, she’s in our divorce decree. Hell, what else have you told her, Hassan?”

He wiped his hand down his face. This is why he hated to have communication with her. The smallest things would get blown out of proportion just to satisfy her. More than two decades of her never changing but progressively getting worse had made him tired. 

“If you’re asking what I know you’re asking then no, I have not told her that. Nadine, we have to move into a better place for the sake of me and for the sake of my relationship. Moriah is an adult so I no longer owe you a relationship, an explanation or an update in or about my life. The only thing I will continue to extend to you is cordiality and updates passed through Moriah specifically for you.” He paused to allow her to speak. When she didn’t he continued, he did. “If you cannot accept these terms then unless there is an emergency, you and I will no longer be speaking.”

Nadine covered her face, chuckling a little to herself. Her phone vibrated on the table in front of her, when she brought her hands down and spotted the name she quickly grabbed it, excusing herself from the table to the nearest bathroom.

“Hey. Everything okay,” she whispered.

“Oh, are you working? I’m sorry, I got your schedule mixed up.”

“You’re fine, DJ. I’m not at work. I have guests and I don’t want them in my business.”

He laughed at that. “Just call me back later. I just wanted to check on you. Enjoy your company.”

“I don’t see that happening.Hassan is here and he’s brought his new girlfriend,” she scoffed.

Dewayne paused to think about his response. Despite his lover’s feelings, he couldn’t find a bad thing to say about Hassan. When the two met by way of his cousin, he expected to have to fight the other man or get into an argument but none of that happened. Hassan was polite, he was calm, he was collected. All things Nadine never described him to be, it caught him off guard. But even if she had described him as such, Dewayne knew how he would act if he had to meet the man that was sleeping with his wife and it wouldn’t be anything like the other man. 

“Nadine, just listen to whatever they have to say, keep your smart comments to a minimum and it’ll be over quickly.” He spoke softly, hoping she didn’t take it the wrong way. The line went silent for a moment. “Beautiful, you still there?” 

“I’m here and fine.” She let out a frustrated puff of air. “I’ll call you when they leave.” 

“Good. Straighten your face, I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Returning to the table, Nadine looked between the couple with a small, polite smile. She could tell that the two of them had some type of conversation that had put Tamara in a much brighter mood. She made a note to check her cameras later.

“Sorry about that. An important call.” She moved her chair closer to the table so she could prop her elbows on it. “Hassan, I’m happy for you. Glad you’ve found someone to be happy with, that’s … it's great. And I understand that your girlfriend is uncomfortable with the communication between us.”

Tamara raised a brow and spoke up. “That’s not what I said.”

Nadine continued to talk, not acknowledging the other woman’s interjection. “So if it will make her more secure in your relationship then I will try to be more mindful. I will send you a text before I call and you can let me know if it is a good time or not.”

Hassan put his hand on Tamara’s thigh, squeezing it gently knowing she was going to interject again. “A text would do fine. But one text. If I don’t answer right away please do not bombard me with more texts or call anyway.”

“Sure,” Nadine agreed with a smile. “I do have one ask though. I do not care that she has met Moriah or that they have a relationship as long as Moriah is okay with it. All I ask is that when it comes to matters between us and our daughter that she is not involved nor does she comment about it to me unless she is asked.”

Turning to the side, Tamara stared at the side of Hassan’s face and he could feel the anger radiating off of her. He knew what his girlfriend wanted but he also knew the only way they were going to get peace. Peace was much more important than buttons being pushed. 

“I can agree to that but Tamara is going to be here for a while so as our relationship matures, she’s going to be allowed into conversations where appropriate. Just as I would allow if you decide to get serious with someone.”

Getting what she wanted brought a big, genuine smile to her face which she directed at Tamara. And seeing how upset the other woman was only made her happier. 

“Well this was very … enlightening but I do have other things to do so if you two don’t mind leaving my house. Sorry I mean Hassan’s house,” Nadine laughed obnoxiously. 

Hassan helped Tamara from her chair then pushed both of their chairs up. He allowed Tamara to walk in front of him. “Alright now, Nadine, that’s enough. There ain’t no need for that.”

Nadine shrugged, still laughing, “I’m just trying to have a little fin. Lighten the mood. It was nice meeting you, Tamara. Are you okay with me hugging you?”

Tamara glanced at Hassan, who nodded. Even though she was unsure, she accepted the hug not missing the words Nadine whispered into her ear. When the two pulled away, Nadnie moved to hug her ex-husband as well. 

“Gabi wasn’t lying when she said Nadine was crazy,” Tamara mumbled, getting situated into their rental.

When therapy first started it scared Zilla much more than he cared to admit. There were so many emotions that he buried down so deep, he had no idea what his life would look like when or if they ever came up. But now more than ten sessions in with Dr. Barnes and it felt more like talking to an uncle about his issues. The emotions that had surfaced thus far didn’t affect anything negatively. Things were hard to talk about but the tools from the doctor made it easier for him. Even though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, he actually enjoyed their sessions. So much so that he opted for two hour sessions over the previous one.

“You remember I told you about that girl at work that like me?”

“The frog eyed girl,” Dr. Barnes chuckled. “Yes, I remember you telling me about Gia. What about her?”

Zilla stretched out on the sofa, tossing one of the small balls Dr. Barnes had around up in the air. “Aight so last week I’m in class or whatever, talkin’ to Bronco and Josh.”

“Josh? The cousin that doesn’t like Fat?” Dr. Barnes asked from his relaxed position.

Zilla nodded. “Yeah him. So I’m talkin’ to both of them and I get these texts from here back to back. She had sent me videos of her ya know and then gon say it was an accident.”

“And you don’t believe it was an accident?”

Zilla stopped throwing the ball up to look at the doctor with his face frowned up. “Hell nah. She did that shit on purpose.”

“I’m just asking,” he laughed, “Keep going. Why do you think it was on purpose?”

“She make it obvious as hell that she like me, always touchin me and shit and she always messaging me on instagram tryna flirt with me.”

“Wait, she texted the videos to your phone or on instagram?”

“She texted my phone, doc.”

Dr. Barnes flipped through his notes for a second then glanced up at the younger man. “That’s strange. You told me she didn’t have your number, that her correspondence were only on instagram.”

Yeah, I know.” Zilla paused then sat up. “How the fuck she got my number?”

Dr. Barnes pointed his pen at him. “That’s the question I have. You’re sure you never gave it to her?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do no shit like that to even make her think she had a chance with me.”

“So then she must have gotten your number from somewhere. Do you think it was your cousin?” He asked.

Zilla shook his head quickly. “Nah, he don’t like Fat but he not stupid.”

“Bronco?”

“No, he answered immediately. 

“Then who do you think?”

“Don’t know, ima find out.” Zilla thought for a second, reminding himself to come back to that later. “But so I get the shit, I don’t respond or nothin’. I got my cousin on one side tellin me to delete it and act like it ain’t happen then I got B tellin me to tell Fat.”

“And what did you want to do?”

He shrugged. “Whatever was gonna keep me outta trouble with Fat. She already don’t like that girl and I don’t wanna be collateral damage in her way.”

“I get it, I know you don’t want to be in trouble but I know you know that honesty is the best answer. So what was the outcome?”

When Zilla didn’t see his girlfriend for two more days following that and she was off of night shift and when he did see her he could tell that Moriah was in no mood to hear any bad news. There were some things she was dealing with herself, things he tried to get her to talk about but she declined, so he didn’t want to add onto that.

“I ain’t said shit to her yet. She got some shit goin on and she still tryna bounce back from workin night shift.” He rubbed his hands together, falling backwards against the back of the sofa. 

Dr. Barnes wrote a few notes and hummed. “I think you know what part of your homework is. Shifting gears to Fat, how are things?”

“Things is good. We good.”

He raised a brow. “You told me after you got tattoos for Angel you planned on having sex because she mentioned the two of you had barely been doing so since the revelation of Angel and what followed. However, when it came time you couldn’t and thankfully there was an interruption before she realized.” The two men made eye contact, a bashful look on Zilla’s face. “So I’ll ask again. How are you two? Are you still having an issue?”

“It sound bad but when we got back home she was tired so I didn’t have to try then she got on night shift and we wasn’t seein each other. But I did go visit her after a show that week and we had a quickie.”

“Yeah? Good. So you think that the issue has passed then?”

Zilla shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. I’m attracted to Fat. I think she beautiful, fine as fuck, all that.”

“But,” Dr. Barnes asked.

He shrugged. “Just every time I think about it and I remember that we ain’t get rid of my condoms cause we wanna have a baby but cause we prolly can’t have one I can’t get hard. Like the shit don’t work at all.”

Taking a moment to write a few things down, Dr. Barnes observed Zilla’s body language. He was uncomfortable but it was manageable. “What was different with the quickie? What kept you from thinking about the other situation?”

He shrugged, a sneaky smile on his face. “We was havin a conversation then she caught me off guard askin me about Gia and she got all mad and shit. And it sound toxic as hell but she fine as shit when she get mad like that. So it was a mix of how she was lookin and talkin and the fact that it caught me off guard that I ain’t have time to dwell on the other shit.”

The older man laughed heartily, “It is toxic but I get it. I was young once. So do you think if you and her discussed it and she’s okay with it, that maybe going to get an opinion from a doctor about options and possibilities would make the problem stop? That way you have an answer or at least the direction of which way things could go.”

“Yeah, I think so. Maybe.” He scratched his face, sighing deeply. “Ima have to tell her though, ain’t I? Tell her that it ain’t workin.”

“That’s up to you, Zilla. I don’t think you have to tell her right now but you do need to discuss it with her at some point.”

“But what if we get the info from the doc and ion have the problem no more?”

“Then if you want to hide that from her then that’s your prerogative.”

Zilla groaned then repeated what Dr. Barnes drilled into him the first few sessions. “But being honest is the best option unless we know it’s going to hurt the other person for no reason.”

“I’m glad you finally remembered it correctly,” he laughed, “But like I said at the end of the day the choice is yours. If it makes you feel uncomfortable or emasculated you know you can always bring her to a session and I can be here to help.”

“Got rid of her damn mama and she still affecting my damn relationship with Fat. Can’t even do the fun shit.”

“She only affects what you allow, Zilla. She planted those seeds but it's your choice as to whether they get watered or not. Understand?”

“I got you, Doc.”

“Alright, any last minute admissions you wanna make before I give you your homework?”

“Naaaah,” he laughed, “Not this time.”

“Good. Your homework is to tell Fat about what Gia did. And I’ll send you a list of OBGYN that I think will be good for you two.”

“That’s it. Nothin else? You said that was half.”

Dr. Barnes stared at him. “Would you like for me to give you more? I was tryna take it easy on you but I can give you more.”

“Nope,” Zilla replied quickly getting up, “Nope, Zilla good. Zilla appreciate you, big dog.”

After he set up his next appointment, Zilla left the office and jumped into his car headed straight home. Moriah was off, he was off and he wanted to finally spend time with her. On the way home, he grabbed lunch for them and something to cheer her up. His mind went back and forth about the erectile issue he had been having, trying to figure out if he was going to tell her and hoping the issue cleared up on his own so he wouldn’t have to.

The music that flowed through his speakers stopped and alerted him that he had a call coming through. As soon as he saw Bronco's name, he answered.

“What good witchu?”

“You busy? You outta yo session?” Bronco asked in a rushed tone.

Zilla paused to merge onto the highway. “Yeah almost home. Everything good?”

“You talked to Gia?”

“Fuck no. You know I don’t talk to that delusional ass girl.”

“You sure you ain’t text her back or no shit?”

He blew a frustrated breath. “I’m sure. I opened it when we was all standing there and that was it. I ain’t text that girl. Why you askin me that?”

“Cause that ain’t what she tellin them other girls. Apparently she told them that after she told you that it was an accident that you told her it was aight and started flirtin with her and shit.”

“Man, you know I ain’t do no shit like that. I like my fuckin life and wanna keep my head on my fuckin shoulders, B. Ion even know how that bitch got my damn number.”

The thought that Gia was spreading that lie around made his blood boil. He regretted even being nice to her outside of the PC when he knew he shouldn’t have. He could stand being co-workers with her but now she was starting to step into the waters of his relationship and he couldn’t have that. They already had enough shit against them, they didn’t need anything else.  

 “I believe you but I had to check. How you think she got your number?”

“Shit don’t know but Ima find out, I know that much.” He pulled into his parking spot beside Moriah’s car and let out an aggravated groan. “Her ass need to go away. I’m not with this bullshit and Fat ain’t either.”

Bronco spoke to his brother in the background quickly. “Ima help you figure that shit out. I gotta go help Javi, hit me up if you need me, bro.”

Getting inside their shared apartment, Zilla put their food and her gift on the coffee table then went to the bedroom in search of her. He found her lying across the bed sleep with a pile of laundry in front of her. Chuckling to himself, he grabbed one of their empty baskets and dumped the clothes in it then climbed onto the bed hovering over her. He kissed all over her face until he saw her nose scrunch and a smile.

“You had these clothes in front of you before I left, Fat,” he laughed.

“I knoooow but then Mama called and I got distracted and then I fell asleep,” she pouted. “How was your session?”

Zilla kissed her face again then got off the bed pulling her with him. “It was good, I’ll tell you about it after you tell me what’s goin on with you.”

“What do you mean I’m okay.”

“Nah, you aint. I can tell when you got something on your mind and in that fat ass head,” he joked. He pulled her out to the living room and plopped down on the sofa. “Zilla even let you sit in his lap while you tell him all about it.”

With a shake of her head, Moriah eased into his lap sitting sideways so she could look at him. His hand rubbed up and down her bare thigh, giving her his undivided attention. 

“When I brought your bag up to the performance center, I ran into Josh. He took me to where you were and I watched for a second and he talked to me.”

“He talked to you?” His nostrils flared when she nodded. “He told yall ain’t talk and he aint tell me you came back there but go head.”

“I’m sure he didn’t tell you because then he would have had to tell you what he said to me.” She huffed trying to keep herself from crying over the memory. “He was telling me to save you some hurt and break up with you to save you from my mama bitter and destructive genes.”

“He said that shit to you? Fat, why you ain’t tell me?”

“Cause I was upset and I knew if you saw me crying that you woulda beat his ass and I didn’t want you to get in trouble at work. When I left out I did run into Bronco and I talked to him. He helped me cheer up.”

Zilla started to put the pieces together in his head. It now made sense to him why his cousin didn’t tell him about their interaction, why Bronco had been giving Josh the looks that he did and why Moriah barely wanted to talk when he called to check on her that night. It was Josh. Josh had done something that Zilla was sure he said not to do. Trying to spare Josh because of their familial bond wasn’t something Zilla was interested in anymore.

“Did you hear what I said, Zay?”

His eyes snapped back up to hers. “Nah my bad. Tell me again.”

“I said don’t fight your cousin. Let’s just ignore him, please.”

He kissed her shoulder a few times. “I can’t do that. I gotta show him that I mean what I say. Ion play bout you. I gave him two chances already.”

“Zay, please. He hurt my feelings so I should be the one to decide what happens to him.”

Dropping his head to his shoulder, he took a few deep breaths to calm himself. She was right and he knew it but that didn’t mean he had to like it. “Fine, if that’s what you want, Fat. But this is the third chance. There won’t be another one.”

“There won’t be another one because you’re not gonna give him room to have an opinion about our relationship. Lay out your boundaries and make them clear,” she shrugged. “Yall can still be family and not talk about me.”

“He made you cry,” he huffed seeing the pout on her face, “Okay, aight boundaries and all that shit. You happy?”

“Very. Thank you, baby. And there’s one more thing I need to tell you and I’m sure you’re not gonna agree to not beat this one up.”

He raised a brow at her. “What Thomas do?”

She laughed at his reaction. “The way you already knew but I ran into him in Target after that whole thing with Josh.”

“The fuck he do to you?”

“He didn’t technically do anything to me, it’s what he said. He tried to give me this bullshit about how our careers might be in jeopardy because of the little girl who had the hernia surgery. Saying that me and him did something wrong.”

He frowned, tilting his head a bit. “You and him did something wrong? How he figure that?”

“Exactly! I told him that I didn’t do shit and whatever he did is on him. He was the one doing things when the doctor turned his back. And I feel like he’s gonna try to put me in his shit if something happens to that little girl.”

“If you want me to, I’ll go have a lil conversation with him. Make sure he don’t.” He offered softly, moving his hand from her thigh to her face. “Whatever way you want Zilla to support you, that’s what Zilla gon do. Just let me know.”

“What if I don’t know what I want? What if I just want you to do what you think is best?” She asked, meeting his gaze.

“That’s fine, Fat. We can do that, baby. Whatever you want.”

“I love you, Zay.”

“Zilla love you too.” He kissed her then grabbed his phone from his pocket passing it to her. “Unlock it and go to my messages. Its a 464 number, open that.”

Doing what he said, she went to the thread prepared to ask him what was going on. A frown took over her face as the video played. 

“Um what the fuck, Isayah? Who the hell is this?”

“The day Josh was at the PC, Gia sent me that. She claimed it was an accident but then told some other girls on the roster that I was flirtin with her.” He held her hips when she tried to get off his lap. “Chill you see that thread and you know ion want that girl. You know I only want you, Moriah.”

“How the hell that frog eyed bitch get your number anyway? She really want me to beat her ass, sending you some shit like knowing I’m not the one to play with.”

“Ion know how she got it, I’m tryna figure that out too. I can’t let you beat her ass though, I can’t do that.”

Moriah’s body jerked to turn more in his lap. “What do you mean you can’t let me? You protecting that frog eyed bitch? Do I need to beat your ass too?”

He laughed, bringing her face to his so he could kiss her. “Ain’t protectin her, I’m protectin you and your career. She look like she can’t fight so I know you gon beat her ass and she might call them people on you. My Fat too pretty to go to jail.”

“Ion care about that, she need to stop playing with me. Ima show her what happens when people play with me,” Moriah spat trying to move out of his hold. 

“Nah, nah, nah. You not finna fuck up what you worked hard to build up. You not about to let somebody that don’t matter ruin you or us. Aight?”

She rolled her eyes, obviously irritated. “I’m just supposed to let her do that?”

“Ima get that handled, don’t worry about that shit. I just wanted to make sure you knew what was goin on.” He lifted her chin when he noticed her gaze was wandering away from his.”Don’t no queen come queen come off her throne to address no peasant, baby. Let me do this. Please.”

As mad as she was, she had to admit that she liked him wanting to take care of it on his own for her and that he cared enough about her livelihood and her life even when she didn’t. The love he had for her was evident in the fact that he was so ready to go to war with her but as soon as she even thought about having her own war, he sat that aside and stepped into hers. Some parts of their story may not have been ideal but moments like this made her remember why she loved it so much.

“Okay, Zay. I’ll let you handle it.” She leaned down to kiss him then put her forehead against his. “But the next time, that bitch may not be so lucky. So she better be thankful.”

He bit his lip, his impure thoughts running rampant again. “Yes ma’am, Fat.”

A soft gasp escaped feeling the twitch against her. “Zay, really?”

“I can’t help it,” he laughed softly. “My bad.”

“Uhuh,” she laughed, “You better help it because I’m hungry.”

“I can feed you, Fat.”

“I’m hungry for food not dick, Isayah.” She laughed moving off his lap. “Stop playin so we can eat.”

Knowing this probably wouldn’t happen again later, Zilla pulled her close to him kissing up her neck. “You know I can make it quick. Real quick then you can eat.”

“Zay,” she pouted softly. “I’m hungry.”

“And so am I.” He whispered in her ear. “Zilla even let you get on top. Please, Fat.”

She turned in his arms, staring at him trying to ignore the grin on his face. “You lucky you’re cute when you beg.” 

The only Parker women allowed in Leata’s house sat around her living room, bringing happiness and peace to her already calm home. Everything with Nadine still sat in her mind but to see the kids thriving and having these ladies around her again after a long while helped her push Nadine to the back of her mind. 

“I hate to ruin the mood but you have yet to tell me what my daughter did that had you upset in Target.” Trenice said pointedly then took a sip of her tea. “And before you start your usual thing, I don’t care if she was little baby Jesus, wrong is wrong and I want you to tell me about it.”

Leata and Kamille shared a laugh. 

“After Moriah shared with me about having her tubes tied, Kamille agreed to have me over to talk to Nadine. I’ll admit I did not go over there in the best mood,” she explained.

Trenice wagged her finger. “No ma’am. You don’t need to preface it. I know how you were feeling and I understand. Keep going.”

“I just asked her straight out if that’s what she did and why she did. We went back and forth for a second and she talked about the boys father then she wished death on my baby. And I,” she paused to collect herself, “I had enough of letting her slide with her remarks and I slapped her.”

Kamille laughed. “Correction. You slapped the crap outta her. Mama, she hit the floor and everything.”

“Kamille,” the older woman admonished with a small smile, “That’s not nice. Don’t laugh. But I will say if anyone deserved it, my daughter most definitely did. You do not let anybody talk about any of your babies in that manner. She was raised better than that but when that thing gets backed into a corner, she can be as vicious as a lioness.”

“Oh trust me, I know, Trenice. But she met her match. The only reason I was letting it slide before was for Rye but now that Rye has done what she should have done years ago, I’m done as well.”

“Sometimes our absence teaches people more than our presence.” 

“Mama, that was deep,” Kamille joked. “Maybe I need to find her a man. That’ll do it. She hasn’t had one since Hassan. And that was a very long time ago.”

Leata snorted while taking a sip of her coffee. “Nadine has a man and has had one since before her and San divorced.”

Mother and daughter paused to stare at the other woman. “Repeat that for me.” Kamille said in a serious tone.

“And me as well.”

“Oh I guess she never told you guys. Too busy in Rye’s business.” Leata sassed. “She had an affair with Eddie’s cousin while she was married to Hassan. She didn’t know they were cousins, don’t know how but she didn’t at first. But that didn’t stop her.”

Trenice looked between her tea and the other women. “I’m gonna need to add some whiskey to this. Did Hassan know?”

“Not at first but when Eddie found out, he told his cousin and he told Hassan. Had the two of them meet.” She recounted, situating herself on the sofa. “As far as I know, she doesn’t know that he even knows.”

“So did the cousin stop once they met?” Kamille asked.

“For a little while, not long. The two of them kept at it and still are. He’s loved Nadine for a long time and I think in some way, she loves him too but I don’t think she would ever make it official with him.”

“Well yeah because if she did that she knows what a hypocrite she’d be for all the time she spent bad mouthing this family,” Trenice added. “Is that the real reason she stopped liking you and your family?”

“Yup, she was trying to make sure Eddie didn’t tell San but that obviously still happened.”

The room fell silent, only the low hum of the cool air blowing from the air conditioner could be heard.It probably wasn’t the best thing to share and she remembered promising Eddie that she wouldn’t tell a single soul unless Hassan told first. He was just going to have to forgive her for breaking this one promise. The way that Nadine had rained hell all over Moriah and Zilla, she deserved this and then some. There wasn’t much she could do that could match the level of treachery that Nadine imposed but getting as close to it as possible was good enough for her. 

Kamille broke the silence clearing her throat. “So tell me to mind my business but how long has it been? If you know.”

Leata counted quietly to herself. “Since Rye was about eight and she’s 26 now, so18 years.”

Both Parker women choked on their tea, sputtering and coughing. “18 years? You have got to be kidding me right now.” Trenice sat her mug aside to get herself together. “There is no way that girl cried to me about getting divorced when she spent half if not more of her marriage sleeping with another man.”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” she responded matter of factly. “I think it was like a year or so that they weren’t seeing each other.”

“My head hurts,” Kamille complained. 

Trenice mumbled a bit to herself and God, trying to collect her thoughts.”When I get my hands on her she may find the sense we thought you lost. Got the nerve to be running around here tryna keep her away from your family all the while dipping into it herself.”

“Well at least we see where Rye got her taste in men from.” Kamille joked.

“I’m pretty sure I already know the answer,” Trenice sighed, “Does Rye know?”

“No, she knows nothing about it. I’m sure she doesn’t even remember meeting him.” Leata shrugged.

Kamille put her mug down on the coffee table and threw her hands up, “He met Moriah? My niece … Rye … he met her?”

“Yes ma’am,” Leata answered coolly. “Multiple times. That’s the only part Hassan doesn’t know. Before Rye was old enough to stay home alone or we would be busy and she couldn’t come over when Hassan would be out of town and they had plans, Nadine took Rye along with her.”

“And so what … she was just sitting around waiting on them to finish?” Kamille asked, bewildered by her sister’s actions.

Leata shrugged. “If he had his daughter then they would play together while her and him were in the other room. If she didn’t, she would play and watch TV. He always bought toys and things for her so there was always something.”

“Wow. Just wow.” Kamille scoffed. “I can’t believe her. It’s one thing to cheat on your husband 

but it’s another to take your kid with you and introduce them to your affair partner.”

Trenice sat quietly drowning out her daughter and Leata. She started to think back trying to remember if there was anything she missed or overlooked with Nadine. Anything that was said or done that wasn’t quite right but she let it slide at the time. That daughter of hers had ways about her that had been lying dormant clearly waiting for the right opportunity to slip out. Trenice massaged her temple trying to will the oncoming migraine. 

“Mama, you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, just … a lot to process. It’s like I don’t even know this girl that I carried and birthed. The older she gets, the more I find out about her and I don’t like it.”

Kamille rubbed her mother’s back. “I know, Mama. I feel the same way.”

“Please don’t stress yourself out, Trenice. I didn’t mean to upset you, I just thought after all this time you guys should know what’s going on.” Leata sat her mug down and stood from the sofa. “I’ll get you some advil, stretch out on the sofa if you need to.”

Kamille helped her mother lay back on the sofa, she kneeled beside her on the floor and brushed her hair back from her face. “Mama, you been taking your medicine?”

“Of course, I have. I don’t miss a day and if I did you know your daddy would have a fit if I didn’t.” Trenice chuckled. “I’m alright, you worry too much.”

“That may be true but so what? You my mama and I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Disguised as an early run before heading to work, Bronco and Zilla rode out together in the latter’s blacked out mustang. The car cruised through the still dark, early morning streets. When Zilla called his friend the night before while Moriah was showering, Bronco was immediately down for whatever moves needed to be made and used a few of his connections in the city to find Thomas’ address. Draped in all black they approached the small townhouse, taking notice of his lack of cameras and security as his yard was missing the ‘ADT’ sign that all his other neighbors had. He was living in a false sense of security or he couldn’t afford it and that would be his downfall.

Bronco knocked on the door, careful not to bang too hard and scare him then both men stepped out of range for the peephole. He was getting ready for work so it would be an easy trip. As soon as the door opened, Bronco pushed the smaller man back into the house and followed him in with Zilla right behind, closing the door behind them.

“What the … look I don’t have any money.” Thomas offered, stumbling back. “Just take whatever you want and leave.” He was visibly shaken and scared. He trembled slightly at the two men hovering over him. 

“I thought we talked about this, Dr. Gardner.” Zilla spoke softly as he flipped on the nearest light switch. He smiled when he saw the recognition on Thomas’ face. “Did we not?”

“I’m calling the police!” He tried to move around Bronco but was snatched back and tossed onto his sofa, he landed with an audible grunt. “I haven’t done anything to her! Why are you here?” He attempted to get up but one buck from Bronco and he was backing down.

“Man, sit yo ass back and shut up. Always runnin yo damn mouth, that’s why you can’t follow directions.” Bronco barked.

“The lil girl you mentioned to Fat when you saw her in Target. That shit sound familiar?” Zilla asked, moving closer to him.

Thomas extended his hands in surrender. “Listen, I was trying to warn her. I didn’t want her to be blindsided in the event something happened to the little girl.”

 Zilla stared at him. “Warn her for what? What she had to do with that?”

“She was in the surgery with me. I saw her.”

“You seen sis do what?” Bronco asked, moving closer.

Thomas stuttered, scooting to the other end of the sofa. “I saw her when the doctor turned his back.” As Thomas was continuing his rebuttal, the back of Zilla’s hand connected with his mouth. He cried out in pain, holding his bleeding mouth. 

Zilla grabbed him by his shirt, bringing him up from the sofa, eye level to him. “You think she stupid or some shit? You think she ain’t gon remember what she did and didn’t do in that surgery?”

“I didn’t say that,” he struggled in the larger man’s grip. “I didn’t.”

“That’s what the fuck it sound like to me,” Zilla grunted, still holding on to him. “Or you think she gon lie for you?” Yeah, that’s what you think.”

Throwing the man down to the floor, Zilla and Bronco took turns kicking him in his sides ignoring the shouts of protest. The beatdown lasted for at least five minutes before Bronco snatched him up from the floor again, making him stand up. They smiled now, able to see the extent of their handy work. Thomas wobbled, holding his sides whimpering softly. 

“If something happen to that lil girl and Fat get in that shit, that hospital gon be down a med student. Feel me?” Zilla asked, staring straight into his eyes.

Thomas nodded, wincing slightly. “I hear you.”

“And you know we ain’t shit to play with,” Bronco added. “We was nice to yo ass this time, next time we won’t be. Comprende?”

Zilla started to walk away but circled back, shaking his finger in Thomas’ direction. “I know I prolly don’t needa say this but our talk stays between us.”

“Okay, okay, just leave.”

Bronco snarled at him. “Aye, mind ya manners. Rude ass.”

The friends walked out the door, closing it behind them leaving Thomas to collect himself. He crumpled down onto the sofa, gingerly checking his mouth then his ribs. Leaning his head back on the sofa, he started to wish he never got himself involved in any of it. Although he liked Moriah and thought she was beautiful, she was not worth all of the pain and turmoil she had come with. 

“Somebody help her! Please help my daughter!”

Hearing the yells from the waiting room, Moriah and Toni rushed out to see what was going on. Mrs. Jones stood in the middle of the room with her daughter cradled in her arms who had tears streaming down her face. Moriah rushed to her, taking Nia from her gently. 

“What happened?” Moriah asked, leading them into a bay with an empty bed. 

Mrs.Jones wiped at her eyes and nose. “We were at my mom’s house and she was playing with her cousins and then she started screaming and holding her stomach. She kept saying that it hurt.”

Moriah started to check her out, comforting her as much as she could. “I know, sweetheart, I’m sorry. Does it hurt when I press your tummy?”

Nia nodded, tears still streaming. “Yes.”

“Okay, sweetie. Mom, did she vomit?”

“Yeah, she did. She vomited on the floor there and in the car.” Mrs. Jones answered, keeping her eyes on her daughter.

Moriah and Toni made eye contact, then looked down at Nia who started to convulse. “I got her, T. I got it.”

“I’ll go page Dr.Harris!”

“Mrs. Jones, I got her, I promise.” Moriah assured as calmly as she could while trying to stabilize Nia. “Where’s your husband?”

“He’s …. He’s um he’s at work.” She stuttered out.

“Okay, why don’t you go step out and call him? I’m sure he wants to know what’s going on.” Moriah suggested.

“I don’t wanna leave her. What if she needs me?”

Moriah gave her a sympathetic smile. “I promise I will take care of her while you’re gone. And if she asks for you while you’re out, I will come get you. Okay?”

Reluctantly, Mrs. Jones agreed, just as she was stepping out of the bay Dr. Harris and Toni stepped back in. Both sanitizing their hands then donning gloves then moved to the opposite side of the bed. 

“How long has she’s been seizing?” He asked.

“At least three minutes. Her mom said she started to complain of intense stomach pain, she vomited twice and from what I can feel by touching her, she’s got a fever.” Moriah rattled off.

Nia’s body finally stopped convulsing and she laid out, shallow breathing and barely conscious. Dr. Harris rubbed her cheek gingerly, trying to coax her awake. “Hey, little bit. Open your eyes for me,” he demanded gently. “Let’s see those brown eyes, girl.”

Her eyes fluttered bringing a small smile to their faces.

“There she is,” Moriah cooed. “Can you keep em open for us?”

She tried to keep them open then reached for her stomach, cradling it in pain and crying. “It hurts! It hurts!”

“I know, little bit. I have to touch your stomach so I can try and help. It might hurt a little.” Dr. Harris nodded for Moriah and Toni to help stretch her back out. He lifted her shirt and as gently as he could pressed around her belly button and abdomen. “I’m sorry, almost done. Did you do a check, Nurse DeBreaux?”

“Yes sir.”

“What did you feel?” He asked, now moving to listen to her heart.  

“Like a big, hard knot.”

Dr. Harris went quiet for a moment then told Toni what pain medicine to give Nia. He motioned for Moriah to join him outside the bay. He closed the sliding door to the bay, his hands going to his hips as frustration plagued his face. 

“I know you’re not a doctor but I wanna hear what you think that is.” 

Moriah bit her lip, slightly nervous to offer her own medical opinion. “Bowel obstruction or rupture I think.”

Dr. Harris nodded. “Caused by?”

She shrugged. “Either the hernia came back or something went wrong during surgery.”

“Something went wrong with surgery,” he repeated, staring down at her. “Do you know what?”

“I don’t know exactly what and I did not do it.” She answered quickly.

He hummed, glancing back in the room at the little girl. “But you saw something?”

“Yes. Me and a few other nurses as well.”

It was unusual to see Dr. Harris do anything but smile, it unsettled Moriah even though she knew she wasn’t to blame for it. He took a moment to take a few deep breaths and think on his next move.

“I need blood work, x-rays and a cat scan immediately. Take her now then take her to the pediatric ICU, I’ll meet you there.” Dr. Harris ordered. “I’m gonna go find Dr. Miller and Dr. Gardner. We’re gonna fix her up and then we’re getting to the bottom of everything.”

“Yes sir.”

The four adults stood in front of the scans and x-rays pretty much understanding the severity of the situation. There was a rupture in her bowels which led to the pain Nia was having. Dr. Miller stared a hole in the side of Thomas’ face while Dr. Harris wasn’t looking and Moriah looked everywhere but at him.

“You see that there? The two inch line?” Dr. Harris asked, pointing to the x-ray. “That is a rupture. I won’t know if it was man made or her body did it while recovering but I’ll know when I open her up to repair it.” The others stood quietly listening to him, not really sure of what to say back. “Miller and Nurse DeBreaux, you’re coming into surgery with me. Gardner, you’re watching from the booth. I don’t know what happened the last time that little girl was on my table but you can bet your asses I’m gonna find out.”

“Yes sir,” they all mumbled together. 

“Miller, come with me so we can talk to the parents.” Dr. Harris ordered. “Nurse DeBreaux, let them know to get my OR ready for me, please.”

With that, Dr. Harris and Dr. Miller walked off leaving Moriah and Thomas. She scoffed when he attempted to move closer to her. She put her hand up, pushing him in his chest away from her noticing the slight hiss. 

“Get your dumbass away from me, Thomas.”

“We could be in a lot of trouble and you’re still not wanting to stick together. I get you don’t like me but we need to be a united front.” He spat harshly.

Moriah chuckled, now taking in his appearance, she raised her brow. “I see you got a visit from my man and you still tryna put this on me. You gotta be stupid as hell. I had nothing to do with that and you know it.”

“I was assaulted, it’s not funny. You’re in it as much as I am.”

Moriah poked her lip out then laughed. “You got your ass beat for trying me and you’re gonna get your ass beat again when I tell him that you still trying me. The only thing I’m guilty of is not saying something sooner but I didn’t think you were stupid and careless enough to do this.” He growled under his breath then lashed out moving closer to her.

“Stop calling me stupid! I’m not stupid!”  

She stared at him unmoved. “Don’t get your ass beat in here, Thomas. Stop yelling at me and back the hell up.”

“No, I’m tired of your ungrateful ass,” he yelled, pointing in her face. “I do all this to try and show you that I’m a better guy than that felon, that I can treat you better and take care of you and this is what I get? Fucking attitude.”

“Nobody asked you for any of that. I asked you to stay away from me,” she spat smacking his finger out of her face, “You better watch your tone. Don’t be mad at me because you fucked up. You better hope her body did that and not you or you’ll be a felon too.”

Thomas brought his hands up as if he wanted to choke her, she kept her eyes on him daring him to do so. Giving up, he let out a loud groan and walked off. Just one more thing to tell Zilla or maybe she would handle this one on her own but whatever the decision is was going to have to wait. She had a job to do. 

Thomas paced back and forth watching Nia’s surgery in the overhead booth. He prayed that the rupture was something her body did and that she would make it through without any lingering side effects. 

“Uuuh, Dr. Harris, her blood pressure is dropping rapidly.”

Dr. Harris glanced at the nurse that came from then at her vitals. “I’m almost done, just need a few more minutes.”

Moriah took a look at her vitals, the numbers made her heart drop to her stomach. “I don’t think she has a few more minutes, Dr. Harris.”

“She’s a strong girl. She can make it, she can do it. Right, little bit?” He encouraged trying to work as quickly and efficiently as he could. Dr. Miller remained quiet as he helped his mentor. “Just a few more minutes, a few more and she’ll be good as new.”

“Her heart rate is dropping,” the nurse called out in a slight panic. 

“I think her body is going into shock,” Moriah added, trying to do what she could.

Dr. Harris continued to work, praying he did what he needed to do before the unthinkable happened. He had to drown out the nurse continuing to rattle off Nia’s numbers so he could focus.

“She’s in distress,” Dr. Miller called out just as she flatlined.

The team worked for eight minutes trying to get her heart started to no avail while Thomas watched helplessly, biting away at his fingernails. The operating room went silent, all eyes on her lifeless little body open on the table. There wasn’t one dry eye in the room but none of the tears fell. Dr. Harris snatched his mask and protective gear off, tossing it to the side cursing under his breath.

“Miller, close her up, please. I gotta,” he paused to clear his throat, “I gotta go talk to her parents.”

Moriah spoke up, going over to him. “I’ll go with you, Dr. Harris.”

He nodded. “That’s fine. But just let me do all the talking.”

Getting to the room Nia was occupying, they stepped in allowing the door to shut behind themselves. Nia’s parents stood from their seats immediately, they held onto each other trying to read the facial expressions.

“The rupture and the leak had been going on far too long and got into her blood as well as some organs, caused a bit of tissue death,” Dr. Harris explained in a soothing voice. “Dr. Miller and I were trying to do as much clean up and repair as we could but her body went into shock before we could complete it. Her heart stopped on the table and we weren’t able to get it back. I’m so sorry.”

Her mother let out a scream that brought tears down their faces and echoed in their heads. Mr. Jones held his wife against him, trying to keep her from hitting the floor. His own tears spilled over.”

“What? What does that mean?” He asked in a froggy voice.

Dr. Harris cleared his throat, thumbing away the tears on his face. “Nia didn’t make it, Mr. Jones. She died during surgery.”

The screams grew louder from Mrs. Jones, Moriah attempted to help Mr. Jones console her only to be pushed away. Dr. Harris put his hands on Moriah's shoulders, turning her towards the door. He offered one more set of condolences before guiding them out of the room. 

“Was that your first time?” He asked softly, sighing when she nodded. “Go home. Get your stuff, go home. Do you think you can drive?”

Moriah nodded, folding her arms across her chest. “I don’t have to leave. I can stay.”

“Don’t be stubborn,” he said, offering her a small smile. “You’re not okay. Go home, Moriah.”

Not wanting to argue knowing he was right, Moriah went back down to the ER to grab her stuff. Toni called her several times but she was so zoned out she didn't hear her prompting Toni to follow her into the employee lounge. Moriah jumped, feeling the hand on her shoulder.

“It’s just me, It’s just me.” She assured softly, now noticing the tears in her eyes and on her face. “Why the tears? What’s going on? Did Thomas do something?” Moriah shook her head and hugged Toni, laying her head on the older woman’s chest. “Okay not Thomas. It’s Nia? Did her surgery not go good?”

“No,” Moriah croaked. “She died.”

Toni held her tight, rubbing her back and her head. “Oh, babygirl. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Are you going home?” Moriah nodded against her. “Okay, You can’t drive. I’ll take you.”

“You don’t–,” she sniffled. “You don’t have to. I can do it.”

“So you can crash cause you can’t see? No ma’am." She chastised. “They will be okay without me for an hour. I’ll have the boys pick me back up. I got your stuff, come on.”

[arqbella]

NADINE. chat idk this entire thing was made in my car but i do like the moving boxes part its rly smooth but i swear better edits are coming 🙏🙏

[saint-vagrant]

we packed up my studio on Thursday night, so my residency in the burren is officially over 💔🌦 i'll miss it tremendously, including my fellow residents who have already dispersed— such a lovely group with whom i'm so grateful to have shared this time, they improved it tenfold. and i'm grateful to everyone who helped me make this possible.

i worked on pieces large and small, which i haven't had time nor energy to accomplish in the last few years. i didn't finish everything, mainly due to spending as much time exploring the mountains, woods, ruins, and Árann islands. the writing i paired with my work for the Open Studio event reflects my thoughts on being in The Land as someone (mac tíre) severed from the security of family, making space for my trans and queer body, a soft indentation in the sea grass. bithchuimhne 🍃 i introduced some of this in my comic for the HOME anthology— to be embraced in kind means more than words alone can say.

with unfinished pieces, i at least have something to look forward to once i'm settled in.

at the same time, going back to the core feels almost criminal. does it ever not? níl cara ag cumha ach cuimhne. i'm furiously sad at the absence of the Palestinian students who were meant to be here, Mohammed and Nadin. we held a bonfire in honour as a small gesture of committment and memory, and i've been in touch with Mohammed a little, only when he's able to access rare internet connection. Ireland, to be fair, is hardly better— hiding behind selective, vicious, cowardly "neutrality" that somehow continue pandering to the same colonising forces Ireland prides itself on rejecting. but on the ground, coalitions of people are ever here for each other and will not stop coming out in droves against the odds. in that way, israel will lose, as will its guardian the US, as will each languishing oppressor in this conflict and the next. at this moment i can't offer much more than that, but i do believe in it. it's the only thing i've ever believed in. from the plough to the stars, from the river to the sea, saoirse don Phalaistín 🇮🇪🖤🇵🇸 and around the world.

[halucynator]

END OF 2023

sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx

hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)

so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶

@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh

@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍

@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶

@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want

@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'

@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)

@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️

@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu

@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!

@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3

@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3

@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3

@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕

@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33

@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍

@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️

these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME

also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶

@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)

[blueopinions49]

Healthy/Unhealthy Type 4

Healthy Social 4

Cruella 4w3 (so/sx)- Sharing her uniqueness with others through fashion and art. Her desire seem to align with her true self and she doesnt overindulge in the sadness and anger of the unhealthy 4.

Piper Mclean (4w3 so/sx)- In the beginning of The lost hero she seemed to struggle a bit with her identity in relation to others. However we see how she ended up discovering her sense of difference and uniqueness.

Edith Sharp (4w5 so/sp)- Overall healthy SO4 who seeks to share her unique perspective on ghost through her art. She doesnt seem to think of herself as better due to her unique perspective.

Unhealthy Social 4

Dan Humphrey (4w5 so/sx)- His desire to become "the rich" in later seasons makes him resent ruin other peoples lives while having a sense of superiority about it.

Diane Nguyen (4w5 so/sx)-Trying to give meaning to the trauma in her life makes her quiet frustrated at the reality that trauma its just damage that we have to deal with.

Arthur Fleck Joker (4w3 so/x)-A need to be unique and special makes him commit horrible acts and becomes frustrated when the public doesn't accept his actions as nothing but harmful.

Healthy Self Preservation 4

Ash Fox (4w5 sp/so)- A struggle to understand what makes him different from others makes him a bit distant. At the end of the film we see him finally accept that he is different and that it's ok to be this way.

Nadine (4w3 sp/so)- While some of the acts she commits in the film are questionable. I think most of us can understand her reaction to this is through a feel of shame and loneliness after being backstabbed by her friend. In the end of the movie we see her trying to forgive and move on.

Nico Di Angelo (4w5 sp/sx)-when we meet back with him in heroes of Olympus we see a more cold and detached version of him that strays away from others. However we see that people eventually confront him about this behavior and he eventually grows and becomes more open and receptive.

Unhealthy Self Preservation 4

Susana (girl interrupted) (4w5 sp/sx)-A struggle to define her self completely separate from others and her personal problems makes her rage at others and her self. Eventually we see deciding to take her well being into her own hands and

Violet Harmon (4w5 sp/sx) - Her desire to be different makes her reject the affection of those who truly care about her. Not to mention the current atmosphere between her parents probably makes her feel neglected and alone.

Squidward (4w5 sp/so)- Do to his failed ambition we see him as someone who lives in a constant state of envy and views anything that isnt remotely depressing as bad and mediocre.

Healthy Sexual 4

Zuko (4w3 sx/sp)-While at the beginning of the show he started of as a villain we see him move forward and struggle with his sense of self. However as the show goes on we see him move his 7 and believing in something greater than himself.

Lady Bird (4w3 sx/so)- In the start of the movie we see a tempestuous lady bird who believes she is inherently different from others. As the film comes to an end we understand that this need to be different doesn't come from a need to be superior but a means to stand out in her own way.

Manny Delgado (4w5 sx/so)- While some his behavior has allot to be said about. In general I believe him to be generally healthy in early season he wee how he believes he is somehow deeper and more intelligent than everyone else. We see him integrate into 7 more.

Unhealthy Sexual 4

Tracy (4w3 sx/so)-Her desire to basically copy the lifestyle and personality of her friend makes her downfall in the movie inevitable. Tracy's need to special and unique makes her desire to blend In with others in an environment where she shouldn't be.

Loki (4w3 sx/so)- Yes technically his end in the MCU can be argued that he is healthy. However In the majority of his appearances we see him struggle with his desire for depth and his self image. In the end we see Loki making complete peace withhimself.

Fern (4w3 sx/sp)-A need to be the REAL finn and lack of self esteem. This drives him to wanna kill Finn to have sense of a fulfilled identity.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Not to write meta about my ocs instead of writing the story itself, but I have been dwelling a lot on Percival's relationship with Avensley Hall.

Avensley Hall is a lot like Hamley Hall from Wives and Daughters, 100+ years and two world wars later. Ancestral home of small land owners, time, and lack of resources for maintenance have left it in very poor condition.

A very young Percival, in his high moments of triumph, dreamed of becoming a very famous -and rich- architect, who could, in time, bring his family home to its former beauty and splendor, and so bring more comfort and joy to his parents' old age. The war, his time on the desert campaign and later on in Italy, the death of his parents and subsequent suicidal disregard for his own life ending in the operation that disabled him physically and mentally, would have been the perfect set up for a rousing tale of strength, self reliance and determination to go from rock bottom straight to the top... had Percival been the choleric, proud, driven type. But Percival was not that man. He had, however, many other virtues: he was patient, methodical, generous, dutiful, principled.

And so he went home, after demobilization, a broken old man to a broken old home, and it was very easy for him to fall into this melancholy mood of sympathetic decay with the house itself. He was now, like it or not, "The Squire", no longer "young Percival" but Mr. Avensley; he wrapped himself in his father's clothes -as much an act of sentimentality as a product of war rationing- and set out to fill his role as best he could, without guidance or experience. Life now, he thought then, was for him a mausoleum where he was both corpse and sexton, and so he decided he would be there keeping the rotting place until he was done rotting himself. After all, how was he, tied down as he was by family duty and the mobility complications brought by the loss of his leg, to ever develop professionally? And how would he dare think of marrying, of dragging a poor woman down into his pit, where every night was a Russian roulette of insomnia and vivid nightmares?

He would have noticed the touch of silliness in this way of going about if it wasn't that he was really ill in his mind, and very isolated, as his sister had married a diplomat and gone abroad, and dear old Mrs. Andrews was a terribly serious and reserved woman, little inclined to humor or displays of affection. People in the town pitied him, and he did not like pity that wasn't his own, so he withdrew as much as he could, which only had the effect of intensifying the general pity towards him. The old ladies of Avensley, who had known him since he was a baby, were not above romanticizing him as a sort of lonely prince in a tower, and often wishing between themselves that a sweet girl bride -which they meant in the Victorian sense of young, innocent and beautiful- could be found to cure all his ills and cheer him up. How much Percival understood of this wish -which was mercifully never verbalized in his presence-, and how much it influenced his decision to further isolate, I rather not clarify.

So it is interesting when Nadine goes to live at Avensley, that she does not notice or think at first of what Percival considered a heavy-handed sympathetic metaphor of ruin in the narrative of his life. Perhaps it was because proud young men putting on brave faces was not a novelty to Nadine the way an old country house that has seen better days was, or a little wounded vanity at his apparent complete indifference towards her, or that nothing seemed to be the matter with him other than he was perhaps a bit too thin and a tad too impregnable, but she was clearly more attracted by the house at first than his owner. But then Nadine was a determined woman and she would befriend the man, and once friendship was established she started to see the likeness, but in a very different way. Percival, obsessed with light and air (we must forgive him, he is an architect after all) can only see the limitations, the constriction, the annoyances of stone and mortar and earth; Nadine, as she lets her old romanticism unsour her restless energy, sees strength, safety and warmth that has suffered the storms and survived, not unscathed, but all the same survived them.

Ultimately it is this contrast of perspective on who Percival is and who he can be that is at the crux of his part in the main conflict of the story, and an understanding that his circumstances are as much an opportunity as they are a limitation to flourishing so essential to its resolution. Just because a set of circumstances contrary to what his aspirations and plans once were is more or less forced upon him, it doesn't mean that there is nothing he can do, that all hope is lost.

The first Avensley of Avensley Hall was unwittingly wise when, in trying to draw from the Gospel maxim, wrote the Avensley family motto to be ex vetera nova, from the old, the new.

[pandorafallz]

Some things were never meant to leave Earth…. or be known about. Let alone being introduced to a whole new world, new life and a species called the Na'vi that probably didn't understand that there were worst things that came from Earth than Humans with technology. Jake knows the Earth was a harsh place, well aware of the dangers it had and the monsters it had as well. No one cared, nothing would matter and….so what. If they thought of him of nothing, then why not take himself, his avatar and his friend and fuck off into the wilderness of pandora. If he can screw over the RDA and its resident parasites, then bonus points. Grace isn't thrilled.

Chapter 39 snippet

“Anyone wanna make a jack-o-lantern?” Jake suggested, cheekily.

“No.” Came the reply from Nadine, Jerome, Kim and N’deh, of all people. The latter appeared with his niece and a basket of soil. N’deh didn’t even linger with his dirt and went off with it.

“You guys are no fun.” Jake reigned hurt at his rejected idea.

“You are harvesting the Earth Crops?” Neytiri hurried over in interest, picking the pumpkin straight up to examine carefully but remaining careful not to remove it from the stem. “It’s so… orange.”

Jake laughed a little at that. “Yep, Orange and probably would be delicious in pumpkin pie.” Better now with Eywa’s care into accepting and growing these plants.

[animalpetcel]

Finished chapter 14. Messy thoughts:

The Good:

- I liked the conclusion a lot more than the conclusion of the first arc

- Very interested in the Priestess atm

- Wisadel was pretty fun. Logos was pretty cool

- Nadine is interesting, I would like to see more of her

- I think it tied together the different plotlines and developments of the Victorian arc well

- I’m still distrustful of the Sarkaz narrative but bc things didn’t completely burn down I will continue to hold my tongue

- Bc it was told over 23 nodes instead of 9-10, reading felt less like a slog (also I was able to take my time with it instead of trying to read it all in 2 days)

The Bad

- I still feel kinda shaky on Theresa’s character and agency. Also given other comments I saw online I think her true motives could have been demonstrated better

- I disliked how easy the stages were. I know that this is a limited event and newbies need to be able to clear but this is also like a major turning point in the overall plot of AK (which newbies shouldn’t be reading) so the combat feeling like a wet blanket takes a lot of wind out of its sails

- Tho it did its best, I still feel like the cast of this arc is way too bloated. I honestly forgot that Saileach was in this arc at all with how little she mattered in the end

- I say this as someone who likes Manfred: Ascalon should have been allowed to do something to him. So far it feels like her assassin powers falls apart whenever it’s not a faceless NPC, which makes her somewhat less cool

- Theresis…? Idk where we’re going with this man.

- During the Doctor’s Originum Dream section, we saw a bunch of characters the Doctor didn’t really know or care about (Allerdale and Baird as examples)….Why?

- The Civilight Eterna Reveal. It feels very thinly like they just wanted “Canon Playable Theresa”

The Mixed

- Theresa and Frostnova I feel like parallel each other a lot when it comes to their decisions to fight us as a test. Shame I didn’t really care about either to the extent that the game wanted me to so I wasn’t really broken up about fighting them/them dying

- We could have gotten more from The Followers. Actually we should have gotten a proper event for them a while ago but also they just need more in general

- It kinda feels a little easy how RI was able to get the KMC and Victoria to walk away from each other with no one stirring the pot but the arc needs to end on a somewhat hopeful note so I get it

And that’s it! I honestly don’t really think that Kazdel & Theresis alone could carry a whole chapter arc (also I think it’ll be a while until we’re able to confront the Priestess). An Anni event yes but I don’t think any more focus on just the Sarkaz is necessary atm (idk maybe I’ll be proved wrong). Since they do have an RI monitor, I do hope we get a playable Damazti when we get another Kazdel event though.

For the next major story arc, whenever that comes, I would honestly love for us to finally get focus on Ursus. I’m dying to know what HG has planned for that nation and I want to meet Neon.

Like please HG I want to go to Ursus!

[pure-ablution]

Wishing you a safe and pleasant flight. As you embark on this journey, I wonder if you might indulge our curiosity by reflecting on the sacrifices you’ve encountered during your engagement to Alajos. Particularly, I’d love to hear about the complexities of navigating his family’s traditions and customs, and how these may have influenced your own interests and hobbies that you had to adapt. I am reminded of Middlemarch by George Eliot, where the tension between personal aspirations and societal expectations creates a landscape of profound self-reflection and compromise. How have you, in your own narrative, balanced the inevitable interplay of personal identity and the customs of another, much like characters?

At times, it’s been difficult, and I didn’t realise until I reflected upon this quite how much I’ve given up for the sake of my relationship. Although I haven’t lost my sense of identity, it has definitely been reshaped in the process of assimilating into Alajos’s world, and whilst this was something I was prepared to sacrifice, it hasn’t always been fun, or easy.

There was never any question about the need for me to assimilate, and not the other way around. This was never going to be a marriage of equals, in that sense, and if I’d wanted a more autonomous identity in my relationship, then I’d have been better off looking for another man. I’m marrying into a very old and established family with a very set way of doing things, and I’m coming from an instant disadvantage as a foreigner and outsider to their social circle—I was always going to have to bend. Bending and adapting is a strength of mine, and I never had an incredibly strong sense of cultural identity in the first place, so it wasn’t a terrible ordeal, but it still took a lot out of me.

Converting to Catholicism was a big one, and a real non-negotiable in my relationship. Alajos never asked me to convert, and I maintain that I probably would have eventually converted even without having met him—but I still knew perfectly well that we would never get anywhere if I remained Orthodox. There’s an interesting quote, attributed to the indomitable Nadine de Rothschild (I can’t find the original source) on her own conversion to Judaism: “It would not have been possible to have the name Rothschild and be a Catholic... Nor would it be right for the son of a Rothschild to be half-Jewish and half-Catholic.” As with many things, the Baroness is right on the money here, and I think of that quote often. Alajos proposed to me five days after I was received into the Church, and I don’t think that he would have ever asked me a minute earlier. His family gained their wealth and esteem through allegiance to the Church, and one little Orthodox girl is never going to be able to rock that boat, so I never made out to even try.

I was already interested in art, but I’d looked towards a career in diplomacy before I met Alajos. I’d wanted an interesting career that allowed me to meet lots of people and travel the world, and diplomacy seemed like the perfect choice. I’d done internships at NGOs, think tanks, and embassies, I was involved in the more political side of student life, and I was altogether quite unrecognisable, in this respect, from the girl I am today. It took a lot for me to recognise that dating Alajos would mean taking a more stable, sedate, and sweet sort of career path, dropping down to part-time or even retiring early at some point, and not being the breadwinner for the household. As it happened, my new career aspirations allow me to engage with the world in exactly the same way as I’ve always wanted, only with far less stress and responsibility (a client not getting their Picasso in time is far less insomnia-inducing than accidentally enabling nuclear war, after all)—but it was a change, and a sacrifice, in its own way.

Learning Hungarian was no skin off my nose, but in assimilating into the very Central European culture and position that my fiancé occupies has meant almost entirely losing whatever semblance of deep Ukrainian and Iranian cultural identity I ever had. Don’t get me wrong, I love my homelands and I’ll forever take great pride in speaking my native languages, cooking food from home, and performing folk dances, but when it comes to the deeper, intangible cultural heritage—the thought patterns, values, and tastes—I’m a Euro girl through and through, now. I had to realise that my background came with questions and stereotypes, and in order to shake those off, I had to slip into line with everyone else. I’m extremely fortunate in that my mother-in-law (to be) has taken me under her wing somewhat, and taught me the right way to go about things—and living in England for so long has taught me a lot about how to throw off old cultural habits, too—but it’s meant losing touch with my roots, and becoming someone new.

There’s been a lot of judgement along the way, from all kinds of people with varying influence over my life, and sometimes I’ve had no choice but to conform. It goes against the grain of everything taught in an individualist society, that losing yourself is the worst thing in the world and that your partner should love you for who you are, but it’s been a manageable sacrifice, and one that I chose to make. I’ve grieved a little, at times, for who I once was, but I’m proud of who I am now, too, and I don’t believe for one moment that I’ve sold my soul. I’m still the same little girl who grew up amongst the goats and chickens, but I’m wise enough to know that staying with the one I love meant giving up a lot of what I never did.

[prototype-n]

Prototype N SAGE2023 Demo v4.1 is live!

A bunch of bug fixes and QoL has been included. This includes the soft-lock bugs being all fixed.

Change log is found upon expanding this post.

Level Design Changes:

-The deathpit trap in the forest section of Morning Hills is replaced with a spike pit. -The last boulder puzzle's layout has been revamped a bit to prevent softlock.

Gameplay Changes: -Remote Missile now travels faster. -Remote Missile ammo is has been changed 25 -> 16 to re-balance around its power. -Pushing Boulders recoils the player far less, improving the level's pacing.

Aesthetical Changes: -Tortoisebot Ex's level icon has been updated. -Tortoisebot Ex's missile launcher has been updated to point straight instead of diagonally for consistency with the missile barrages.

Menu Changes: -"Data Select" option has been added, it takes you back to the file select screen. -"Exit" has been renamed to "Quit Game" for better clarification. It closes the game. -You can warp around the menu selection on all screens now. -Options menu has a "Default Settings" button. -Descriptions added to the options menu. -All options now previews the changes as you make them. -Fixed oversight where maximizing the game via game's border and exiting the options menu would window the game again. -Sounds has been added when you adjust any option settings.

Bug Fixes: -Dynamite Switches soft lock bug has been fixed. (There was a flag that did not reset when re-entering the stage) -Pushable Boulders and Metal Crates has gotten their collisions re-programmed. -Due to the above fix: Messing with Boulders and Metal Crates no longer give them telekinesis to shove most objects in the level with a few pixels forward or back. -Another side effect fix: Spike Crushers can no longer be clipped through. -Metal Crates can now hurt the player if it falls on them. (4HP damage) -You can no longer shove a boulder towards you with a frame-perfect slide turn. -Fixed where Fire-based enemy projectiles doesn't get you knockback when you take damage without any shield. (Bug caused by an oversight in the fire shield implementation) -Fixed bug where Nadine flies across the screen while during a ladder climb. -Holding down near (but not close enough to climb) a ladder while on ground no longer shakes Nadine.

Misc: -BGM and SFX Volume default level has been reduced. (80 -> 70)

[thatssonanii]

Chapter Fourteen

A/N: I doubled back for yall! This chapter flowed more easily than the previous one so I got it done quicker! Pay attention when you're reading😌 ⭐LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG & SHARE⭐ Enjoy!

Warnings: Cussing, 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

DO NOT REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN!

Masterlist

Chapter Thirteen

When Hassan brought Nadine home to meet his parents and little sister he was nervous. His palms sweated profusely no matter how many times he wiped them on his pants, they never dried. His stomach twisted into knots as he walked her through the home to the living room to meet them. But today standing on his sister’s front porch he didn’t feel any of those things. His nervousness was replaced with giddiness, his palms didn’t sweat and his stomach remained neutral. Internally realized no matter how he once felt about Nadine that she was not the woman he should have been with all those years, it was the woman whose hand he held, whose hand he gently caressed as they waited. The door opened and Gabi flung herself at her older brother, hugging him tightly around the neck saying how glad she was to see him as Tamara discreetly pulled her hand from his to give them room. There was a smile on her face as she watched them.

“I missed you too, Gabi. You act like you ain’t seen me in months,” he laughed, squeezing her back just as tightly. “Alright, alright, let me go.”

Gabi squeezed him one more time before letting go. “Its been like two weeks since I’ve seen you and you know that hasn’t happened since you moved back here from Texas.”

He glanced to his right at Tamara then back at his sister. “I been busy but Ima do better. I don’t want you cryin’ to Mama.”

Gabi’s brow raised looking between him and Tamara. “And I know exactly what and who you’ve been busy with. Nice to finally meet you, I’m Gabi.”

Tamara stuck her hand out but was pulled into a tight, brief hug. “I’m Tamara,” she laughed after being let go. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh girl, I know who you are. My brother tells me about you all the time but the pictures he showed me did not do you justice. You’re even prettier in person.”

At that Tamara turned to stare at Hassan. “Pictures? What pictures?”

“Don’t worry,” Gabi laughed, pulling them both into the house. “They were good ones. I mean he is an artist after all. He has never taken a bad picture of anyone. Not even that witch Na,” she was cut off by him clearing his throat.

“Be nice, Gabriella. I keep telling you that.” He warned playfully.

“You’ve been telling me for years to be nice and hasn’t worked yet. Oh … before I forget there’s something I need to tell you two.”

“What did you do?” He asked in an accusatory tone.

She shook her head. “No, no, it wasn’t me. It was your nephews and their big mouths that they definitely got from their father.”

“What could they have possibly told?” He asked, sure there was nothing they could have told Nadine. They didn’t like her and even if they did, he had made sure not to tell Gabi that he was taking Tamara to meet his ex-wife because of her big mouth. He watched her fidget for a second. “What is it?”

“Weeeell they may have spilled that you were bringing Tamara over to meet us.” She said quickly, making Tamara laugh.

“To whom, baby sister?"

Immediately Hassan’s eyes moved from his sister to the direction the other voices came from. He couldn’t help the chuckle that passed his lips.Their parents were there and there was no doubt as soon as Shirley DeBreaux found out about this impending visit she got up right then and made Rome DeBreaux drive her two hours from Columbus to Atlanta to be a part of it Hassan reached out for his girlfriend’s hand.

“It’s okay, Gabi. It saves me a trip,” he admitted with a shrug. “You’re gonna meet my parents as well. They’ll like you but Mama can be a bit much. It’s where Gabi gets it from. If that’s not okay, if you not ready I can take you home. They’ll understand.”

Tamara smiled up at him, her brows creasing a bit. “I don’t why you think I scare so easily but I’m okay. I’m happy to meet everybody, I want to.”

Gabi grinned, grabbing her hand from Hassan, pulling her along leaving him to follow behind them. “See I knew I liked you. You’re way better than that ole raggedy witch Nadine.”

“Gabriella,” Hassan called out over their laughter. “Don’t laugh, Tam. She know that ain’t nice.”

As soon as they entered the living room, Shirley’s reaction to Tamara undoubtedly ended all other conversations. With her hands to her face, she approached Tamara with a wide, genuine smile on her face. 

“Oh my goodness. Girl, look at you,” she gushed loudly, taking one of Tamara’s hands to spin her around. “Aren’t you just the most gorgeous thing I have ever laid eyes on.”

“Thank you,” she responded softly. “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. DeBreaux.”

With a playful swat to her leg, Shirley pulled her into a tight hug, rocking them back and forth. “You quit all that ‘mrs’ stuff out, you will call me mama just like the rest of my children.”

“Yes ma’am. You’re so pretty and I love your hair. I kind of feel like I know you already. San talks about you and his dad all the time,” Tamara admitted taking a peak around her to everyone else.

Shirley moved to hug her son then swatted his arm. “Yeah well my son didn’t mention you to me. If Malcolm and Monte didn’t tell me, I would have never gotten to meet you.”

“Mama, I was gonna bring her to meet you and dad. I was just starting with Gabi and her crew first. They live here.” He assured her with a smile.

“I’m only two hours away, see how quickly I got here and I didn’t find out until about four hours ago,” she continued on as she brought Tamara further into the living room. “Alright now this is Hassan’s father, Rome and believe you me they are just alike. It’s almost like he spit him out they act so much alike.”

Rome stood, wrapping her in a warm hug. “It’s very nice to meet you, young lady. How’s my son treating you?”

“Very good. I wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t, Mr. DeBreaux,” she shrugged playfully. 

“Please call me Dad or Rome. You’re family or I assume you will be soon,” he hinted more to his son than to Tamara before sitting back down. Hassan chuckled softly in response as he rubbed lazily through his beard.

Pulling her away from her mother, Gabi turned Tamara’s attention to her husband and kids. “This is my husband, Tyler Scott and our twins, Malcolm and Monte. Boys, this is Tamara. Remember the nice lady I told you about.”

Tyler stood briefly to shake her hand, offering her a bright smile. “Nice to meet you, Tamara. I’m really glad you’re finally here, Gabi has been talking our heads off about you coming.”

“Yeah and making us clean,” Monte mumbled loud enough for the adults to hear. Tyler pinched his son’s arm. “Ow! She did though. She woke us up to that old music and we all know what that means.”

“Right and she only supposed to do that two Saturdays out the month and today ain’t saturday.” Malcolm added with a similar mug to his brothers.

Tamara laughed, reaching to give both boys hugs. “Well I’m sorry she had you up cleaning early. How old are you two?”

“Thirteen,” they answered simultaneously.

“Uncle San, she gon be our new auntie?” Monte asked loudly.

Hassan slowly approached them, wrapping his arm around her waist. “I think that’s up to her, boys. We’ll see how she feels by the end of the night.”

Malcolm groaned. “You never give us real answers, Unc. When Rye comin to visit? She always got the answers.”

Hassan jumped at them playfully, laughing when they jumped back. “Yall gon sell me out for Rye so I ain’t telling yall. How bout that?”

The boys soon started to nag him, trying to jump all over him which he gave right back to them. Soon they were slap boxing with each other. Gabi grabbed her mother and Tamara’s attention, telling them to follow her to the kitchen. She grabbed the open bottle of wine from her refrigerator pouring three glasses.

“Gabi told me that Hassan really liked you while we were waiting and forgiving me if I was a bit skeptical considering Nadine,” Shirley took a small sip of her wine. “He really liked her too or he claimed to. I tried to tell him not to keep being with that girl but he was young, did what he wanted to do.” Tamara sipped from her wine, acknowledging the older woman with a nod. “But once I saw you and him together, I saw what Gabi had been telling me. He loves you. I can see it.”

“Like.” Tamara corrected.

“Oh no, baby.” She laughed with a shake of her head. “I said what I meant. I raised him, I know when my babies are in love.”

Feeling that the conversation may have gotten unintentionally heavy, Gabi butted in to save Tamara from any heat. “You’ve met his babygirl, right?”

Slowly, Tamara tore her gaze away from Shirley, settling on Gabi. “I did. I actually met them both at the same time. I approached him in the mall in Orlando and she was with him. And I’ve talked to her on the phone quite a few times since him and I have been dating. She’s a sweet girl.”

“She is. Thankfully nothing like her mama,” Gabi mumbled, earning a pointed look from her mother. “I’m just saying, Mama. You know I’m right.”

Shirley sighed, sitting her glass down. “Have you met Nadine yet?”

“No ma’am but she knows about me,” she glanced at Gabi, who was smiling. “And She knows that I know about her.”

“You just be careful with her and whenever you cross paths with her. That girl,” Shirley’s voice trails off for a moment, “She got some kinda evil in her. A demon if I ever seen one before.”

“Now, Mama,” Gabi laughed, “She is a terrible person but she not a demon though.”

“The hell you preach. That girl is a demon. The way that she treated my son and his baby. Tuh, lucifer must have placed her on Trenice’s porch cause I know she didn’t raise her that way.”

This is the most honest opinion Tamara’s heard about Nadine so she leaned into the conversation. Although she was in shape or form worried about clashing with her it was important to Tamara to really know what she was dealing with. When her and Hassan discussed his ex-wife, he was still very polite and honest to a point. He never told her the extent of things that she had done to Moriah because he didn’t want to share her business without her permission. The only thing he did tell her about was the abortion during one of their late night talks. When he spoke to her about Angel, he cried like it was still fresh. The loss of his first grandchild and the pain that it caused his only child hurt him and what hurt more is that he wasn’t there to stop it from happening. From what he confided in her, that was the first time he really regretted leaving Texas and not making Moriah come with him. Guilt still ate him up. He wished that he would have just disregarded what Moriah said she wanted and forced her to come to Atlanta with him.

For once, Gia was nowhere to be found in the performance center. From what Bronco heard she had some family emergency so she would be gone for a few days and wouldn’t see them talking to Trick. After the friends decided that they were going to put Trick onto her, they took a couple days to plan out how they were going to do it and now were satisfied. 

On a break from their workout, the two approached Trick who was doing curls. They sat on the floor near the bench he sat on prompting him to sit the dumbbell down and remove his earbud from his ear. He eyed them carefully.

“Yall look like yall up to some shit. What yall got goin on?” He asked picking the dumbbell back up.

“We ain’t up to shit.” Zilla laughed. “We just wanted to holla at you real quick.”

He nodded for them to go on.

“We know you been tryna settle down so we wanted to help you out cause ya game is clearly nonexistent,” Bronco joked. 

He sucked his teeth. “I got game, just ain’t been tryin. That’s all.”

Zilla lifted his hands in surrender. “Aye, mane, whatever you say. But look, we know you want somebody that understand this wrestlin shit and you travelin all the time so we found you somebody.”

“And we heard she think you kinda cute. So all you gotta do is use that nonexistent ass game and ask her out,” Bronco added.

Trick stared at them clearly contemplating continuing with his curls. “Who is it that yall think yall found for me?”

“Gia.”

Trick stared at them, recalling Gia in his mind. “Green eyed girl that do the backstage interviews?” The two men nodded making him smile. “Oh word? She is kinda cute and she be givin me them bedroom eyes from time to time.”

Zilla clapped his hands excitedly.“Aight so when she come back, ask her out on a date.”

“Bet Ima do that. Preciate yall for lookin out.”

The two left him, going back to the locker room to have their conversation in private. To be honest neither of them were a hundred percent sure that Gia would even go for it but they have witnessed Trick talk to enough girls that he at least got a first date. No matter what they planned to stay informed with how their relationship would go. 

“You think that shit gon work out?” 

Zilla huffed loudly, taking a seat on one of the benches. “Shit, I hope so. If it don’t and she keep this shit up, Fat gon whoop her ass. I told you what she asked me Tuesday?”

“Nah. What sis say?”

“Her exact words were ‘did that bitch have her hands on you tonight?’ And shit, it caught me off guard so I’m like who,” he recounted bringing the memory back to the forefront of his mind, “And she was like that frog eyed bitch. So I’m like nah and she basically told me if she don’t stop, she gon beat Gia ass.”

Busting out laughing, Bronco took a seat on the bench opposite of Zilla. His dislike of Gia was mutual among them all so anytime he heard Moriah or Toni dogging her ass out, he was going to enjoy it. 

“Yoooo sis is wild. She called her a frog eyed bitch? You deadass?” He asked through his laughter.

“Deadass, bro. She meant that shit too.”

Bronco went from laughing to scrunching his face at his friend. “Why you smilin like that, fool?”

He shook his head. “It ain’t nothin.”

Bronco watched him until it clicked. “Ayye! My boy! I know what that smile mean! That’s why yall ducked outta there!”

“Hell yeah. I’m surprised Toni ain’t trip about it.”

He waved him off. “Nah, she wasn’t goin to. She was too busy gettin on my ass.”

That admittance made Zilla’s nosey ass ears perk up. He didn’t want to know so he could tell anyone, he simply just liked to be in their business. To him that’s what friends do.

“What you do?”

“She was upset cause Javi was at home by himself but I told her he was straight, he did it all the time before me and her started.” Bronco shrugged. “And he usually with her on Tuesdays but you know she workin nights this week and I was workin so.”

“Oh damn. But Javi like 13 or 14. Ain’t it?”

“Yeah, he 13 but you know T worry so much cause of her job. I told her she hadda relax.”

Zilla stared at him. “You told her to relax? Last time I told Rye to relax she bit my damn head off. Cussed me out for like two hours.”

He laughed. Yeah, she was about to but yall walked back in so shit … saved by the bell. I did have to hear that shit when she got off though. She came straight to my house, made Javi breakfast then yelled at me while I was in the shower.”

“That’s what your ass get,” he laughed while checking his phone. “Shit, I gotta reschedule my therapy session.”

“Rye told you to do that shit two weeks ago. Ima tell.”

“Man,” he laughed, “I been busy. Ima do it though. Remind me when we leave her.”

“Nope, hell nah cause if I do or don’t and you don’t do it you gon throw my ass under the bus right along with you.”

The pediatric floor was quiet for the moment. The children that were on the floor were either sleep or medicated enough that they were in no pain. Dr. Miller took this time to get caught up on paperwork hoping to leave on time and not a minute after 7. This floor was what he always dreamed of, Dr. Harris made it even better for the last six years the older doctor had taken him under his wings and always encouraged him to do the same for others who were newly pinned. While Dr. Miller enjoyed doing this when he could, he did not enjoy one medical student in particular. 

“Dr. Miller, you got a second?”

A sigh escaped him. “Only if it does not interrupt my paperwork, Gardner. I need to be outta here on time, I have family matters to attend to.”

A wide smile stretched across Thomas’ face. “Nah, it won’t take long and won’t take your focus away.”

“I’m listening.”

“A few weeks ago I assisted Dr. Harris with a hernia surgery on a five year old and he told me that the mom called because what she thinks is complications from the surgery,” Thomas explained leaning against the desk.

“Okay,” Dr. Miller drug out impatiently. “What do you want me to do with that?”

“He assured her that it would pass but I … I think something might be wrong.”

The pen fell from Dr. Miller’s hand as he turned to give the younger man his undivided attention. “You think or you know? And be very sure with your answer.”

He shrugged. “I think, I can’t be completely sure.”

“Did you do something wrong that Dr. Harris didn’t catch?”

“If somebody did do something wrong and you think it could cause said complications. What would you do?”

Dr. Miller sighed, from the moment Thomas got to pediatrics he knew the young male would be an issue. It was at this moment he vowed to never take another student or newbie under his wing again, He didn’t give a damn what his mentor would say. Thomas had spoiled it for everyone that would come after him.

“Is it something that can pass or be fixed externally or is it something that needs to be handled internally?”

“Umm I’m sure it can be fixed externally.”

Another sigh. “Is it life threatening for said five year old?”

“It can be, yes.”

“Then you need to tell Dr. Harris what you did or I will. You have tomorrow afternoon.” Dr. Miller ordered turning back to his paperwork.

Thomas’ eyes went wide with panic. “Wait, no. It wasn’t me that did it.”

“Then who did it? And what did they do?” The doctor asked, now irritated.

“It uh it was a nurse. She may have caused an infection.” He spat his lie out quicker than he could stop it.

“Which nurse?”

Praying internally that this would all work out for the better with Nadine’s plan, Thomas utter Moriah’s name quietly. Dr. Miller’s head shot up, his eyes on Thomas not believing a word that was said.

“You know what, I’ll look into it. Don’t worry about telling Dr. Harris. I got it.”

“Are … are you sure? I can tell him.” He stuttered. “It’s probably nothing.”

Dr. Miller shrugged. “It probably is but I’ll check anyway. Unless there’s some reason that I shouldn’t.” He was giving Thomas the chance to backtrack and take ownership for whatever he was sure the man had done. When he shook his head the doctor gave him a final nod. “Okay then it’s out of your hands and into mine. Leave it be. Understand?”

“Yes sir but can you keep me updated?”

‘I’ll see what I can do. Gardner.”

One thing Dr. Miller learned during the time he worked with Moriah on pediatrics, he learned that she was very meticulous and followed the rules down to every period and comma. He knew there was no way it was her that did anything reckless to harm this young patient and he was going to get to the bottom of it. Thomas got the hint that the conversation was over, he grabbed his bag to leave the floor for the day praying that none of this came back to bite him in the ass. After finishing his paperwork Dr. Miller moved over to one of the computers accessing the files. He searched for a few minutes before he found the file he was looking for and picked up the receiver beside him to call the parents. 

“Hi, this is Dr. Miller from Lakeland General. I’m looking for the parents of Nia Jones.” He paused. “Yes, I heard that she was having issues … Yes ma’am … Yes ma’am … I’ll be in tomorrow morning for a little while and can see her then … Yes, 8 is fine. I’ll see her in the emergency department … Okay, see you all then. Have a good night.”

Something wasn’t clean in the water and he was going to get to the bottom of it. Now that he sat up an appointment, he moved on to his next step. Getting to the ED, he texted his family group chat to let them know that he had to change his fight out for the next day instead of later tonight while he waited on Toni. 

“Dr. Miller, what can I do for you?” She called out as she walked in the door.

He chuckled, going to hold the door of their breakroom for her. “How’d you know I wanted something ?” He asked, following her inside.

“Because you only ever come to the ED if you want something from me? So what’s up? I got fifteen minutes before my shift starts and I wanna use ten of those to call my mama.”

Dr. Miller helped her put her things in her locker. “You remember the hernia surgery Nurse DeBreaux helped with some weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” she answered slowly, “That was her first surgery. Why? Did something happen to that little girl?”

“No, no, no,” he said immediately, “Not yet at least.He goes on explaining to her the conversation he and Thomas had and what he had done. “Can you please stay a little longer in the morning to do the check up with me? I would ask Nurse DeBreaux.”

She nodded, finishing his thought, “But you don’t want it to look like a coverup just in case there is actually a complication from surgery. I got it, I’ll stay.”

“Thank you, I owe you. And I know I don’t need to say this but for now lets keep this between us. Don’t even tell DeBreaux.”

“Ooh I know. If I tell her that he’s tryna blame her for his negligence, she’ll kill em. She takes her work very seriously.”

“Trust me I know and I know he does to which is why I can’t understand why he would even try to put this on her.” Dr. Miller admitted.

Toni pulled out her ringing phone. “Trust me you don’t wanna know. I gotta take this, it’s my mama. I’ll see you in the morning.” She said quickly. “Oh and I’m sorry about your auntie.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. See ya.”

“I don’t know how we managed to stay away from each other for so long,” Nadine laughed, adjusting the covers over her nude body. “It’s always so much fun when we’re together.”

“Don’t act like you don’t know. You like to play coy with me and luckily for you, I like it.” 

Dewayne pulled her across the bed to him, moving a few of her drop curls from her face. It wasn’t often that he felt this stress free and calm, it was only when he was in her presence. No matter how many times she turned him down for something more serious, he couldn’t let go of her. When he met Hassan, he could see how much their affair affected him but Dewayne was honest with himself–no matter how much pain it would cause, he wouldn’t stop. The Nadine he knew and the Nadine everyone else were two different people to him. They needed to dig beyond that tough exterior, the armor she wore to the rest of the world and see the sweet, loving, brilliant woman on the inside. 

“I do not play coy with you.” She argued, meeting his gaze.

“You do so. Ducking my calls and texts, only responding when you want to. Youtube me up on my offer to go to dinner every once in a while and then nothing.”

She shrugged. “As you said that’s what you like about me. I’m just giving you what you want, DJ.”

He tickled her sides until she was out of breath and gasping for him to stop. “What I want is for you to stop playing coy with me and just be with me.”

“You’re married.” She answered softly.

“And so were you once upon a time. I keep telling you that all you have to do is say those magic words and she’s gone,” he reiterated, caressing her cheek softly. “I remember the first day I met you. Ava was what five had gone through so many appointments with therapists and shit until finally her doctor sent me to you. You remember that?”

She snorted. “How could I forget? You stormed into my office and demanded for her to be seen right then, instead of ten minutes later. And still ended up waiting the ten minutes because we argued back and forth.”

“I was tired of being jerked around from place to place,” he chuckled, “But you got your way anyway. I was so drawn to that fierceness that I would make her double appointments every week.”

“Mmhm and then after a month you finally asked me out.”

“And you told me it would never happen, that you were a married woman.” He recounted. “That didn’t stop me though. I always get what I want.”

She moved closer to him, resting  her head on his arm. “Hmm not always.”

“I’ll get it eventually. Now,” he sighed, “It’s been two days. Are you ready to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“It’s Moriah.”

“What’s going on with her? I’m surprised she hasn’t called yet. She usually calls when you haven’t been home.”

“She’s not in Texas anymore. She moved to Florida with that boyfriend of hers.”

He smiled. “The doctor? Alright, that’s great. Why don’t you sound happy? Isn’t that what you wanted for her?”

“No, not with the doctor. She’s with your cousin or whatever he is to you.” At that Dewayne frowned. The cousins he had in Florida he was sure were all married or taken in some fashion. “Isayah. Eddie’s son.”

“He’s out of jail?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, he’s been out for two almost three years now. You really don’t keep up with your family. Do you?”

“Not all of them, no. Do you know how many of them there are?” He asked with a chuckle. “But wow … I thought the doctor boy was gonna propose and everything.”

“He was and he did but she turned him down. She was and still is stuck on that jailbird boy.”

He kissed her head bringing her close for a quick hug, his laughter vibrating through his body and hers. “Listen, I know how badly you wanted her with someone else but sometimes as parents we have to let our kids make their own choices.”

“But she’s making the wrong ones and she’s mad at me because I’m trying to help her. Call herself not talking to me. I haven’t talked to her since Thanksgiving.”

“And by trying to help her, you mean trying to make the choice for her. Right?”

“Yes, but–,”

“No buts if she’s happy let her be. This is not that serious for you and her to have gone almost a year without talking, Nadine. I know you miss her and she misses you.”

There were lots of things Nadine neglected to tell Dewayne about, she didn’t want him to judge her the way her loved ones had done. While he knew about the small things Moriah did and how she was punished, Nadine never uttered a word to him about the pregnancy and the things she did because of it. The abortion, Moriah’s and hers, alone would be enough to push him over the edge knowing that he is a die hard pro-lifer. And that was just not a risk she was willing to take.

“I don’t know about her missing me but I do miss her.”

“See? So why don’t you put the need for control in the backseat and put your love for your daughter in the front?” He suggested kissing her neck.

“You mean stop trying to get her to break up with him and let them be together? Even if I know she’s gonna regret it later.”

He chucked, still kissing her neck. “Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Can you do that? If not for Moriah then do it for me. Please, beautiful?”

She stewed over the thought for a few minutes with her thoughts going fuzzy every few seconds because of his ministrations. “Fine, DJ, fine. I’ll lay off.”

“Good,” he cheered, moving to smile widely at her, “Now let me show you just how proud of you I am.”

The next morning as promised Toni waited for Dr. Miller. She stood beside him as he checked the little girl and went over her x-rays with the parents. The only thing he had yet to receive were the results from her blood work.

“Has she been feeling woozy or tired lately? Fever? Vomiting?” Dr. Miller asked, still checking nia.

Her mom spoke up first with a worried glance. “Not woozy but more tired than usual. Fever comes and goes and so does the vomiting.”

“How long after the surgery did this start?”

The parents looked at each other lost for an answer for a moment. “Umm,” the father stuttered trying to think, “Maybe a week or so after. But it started to get worse a few days ago.”

Dr. Miller nodded, giving the little girl a quick smile. “So it sounds like it could just be an after effects from the surgery and all the medicine she was on but just in case it is an infection, I’m gonna prescribe her some antibiotics.”

“How are we gonna know if it is an infection?” 

He gives the mother a reassuring smile. “Her blood work should be back by noon today. If there is anything suspicious in there Dr. Harris will give you a call immediately.”

“Okay, thank you so much. Really, thank you.”

“Just doing my job. Gotta make sure babygirl is able to eat her spaghetti and meatballs,” he joked, lightly pinching Nia’s cheek.

As they left the room Toni and Dr. Miller made eye contact and moved to an unoccupied area of the ED. He folded his arms across his chest waiting to hear her thoughts.

“I’m no doctor but I think she has an infection. Miller.”

“I am a doctor and I’m quite sure she does too. But I think it was caught in enough time to cure it.”

“Don’t you think Dr. Harris is gonna wanna know why he has bloodwork for her after he already told her it would be fine.”

He nodded, huffing. “Yes and I’m about to go take care of that. He’s always here early, I’m gonna go talk to him now before I leave.”

Toni nodded, still feeling uneasy. “I’ll let you know if anything happens while you’re gone. But you know I’m gonna have to tell Rye.”

“I know, just please keep her from trying to kill him until we can sort this shit out.”

Toni threw her hands up. “I make no promises but I will try.”

After only getting three hours of sleep, Moriah was awakened by her boyfriend asking her to bring him his gym bag that he’d forgotten. Declining his favor was on the tip of her tongue from being so tired but she knew he would have done it for her so she begrudgingly agreed. The performance center wasn’t as busy as it usually was and for that she was grateful. Less people see her with a messy ponytail, Zilla’s shirt and biker shorts—aka as a bum. She wandered around the center for her boyfriend, figuring he was busy since he wasn’t answering her calls or texts. About to give up and leave it in the nearest, safest spot she spotted Josh and called out to him. With their distance, she couldn’t hear him suck his teeth as he turned to face him.

“Hey! What are you doing here? Zay didn’t tell me you were in town.” She hugged him quickly, still not realizing he didn’t really hug her back.

“Workin. Came to help out.” He muttered. “Why you here? I thought you was a nurse.”

She laughed, realizing he asked because of the bag. “Oh, I do. I actually should be at home, just got off a few hours ago. Zay forgot his bag so here I am.”

“Mmm. I’ll give it to him.” He told her going to reach for the bag. “You can go back home.”

“Actually, I kinda wanted to see him since I was here. I been working nights so we been missing each other. Can I go with you?”

Josh’s lip turned up a bit at the thought of her staying any longer but he didn’t wanna make a scene so he told her to follow him. Moriah had to almost jog to keep up with him with how fast he was walking which she chalked up to his long legs. They stood in the doorway where the practice rings were located.

“Awe, it’s been so long since I’ve seen him practice. I used to go all the time in Texas.” She gushed keeping her eyes on him.

Josh had no desire to hear her go on about a relationship he didn’t agree with so since the both of them were here without any interruptions, he would speak his mind.

“You ever thought that maybe what yall got goin on ran its course?” He asked softly.

“Um huh?” She was extremely confused by his question. It was weird to her to say the least.

He shrugged. “You know like high school sweetheart shit where you been together so long that yall start to hate each other. Start bein malicious and shit.”

“Oh,” she giggled, “No, Josh. We argue here and there but we’re good.”

“You say that now. Being with a wrestler ain’t easy, Ma. Soon enough he gon be on main roster, traveling city to city without you. It gets real lonely for some of them, so lonely that they start to stray while you at home thinking they faithful,” he explained, keeping his eyes on Zilla in the ring. “And then you start to get bitter cause he’d rather be with them ring rats than you. And the more bitter you get, the more vindictive you get. Take his house, take his kids and treat them kids like shit because you so damn mad at him when you should have left years ago.”

Moriah turned her body to face him, shock and anger on her face. She knew he was alluding got more than just Zilla. He was comparing them to her parents. 

“I know that my mother isn’t a great person but I am not her. And my daddy never cheated on my mama,” she spat seething.

To her words, Josh chuckled. “Your daddy may not have cheated but that doesn’t make any of it better. It makes it worse actually.”

“What? What are you talking about, Josh?”

“Your daddy ain’t cheat so he was being a good ass husband to your mama and she still dogged his ass out which included treating you like shit.”

She rubbed her face out of frustration. “Just spit whatever it is you’re tryna say out.”

He shrugged, “It’s simple. I don’t like you and I don’t want you with my cousin. Shit was cute when yall was kids but it ain’t cute no more. I’m tryna save my cousin from unnecessary hurt.”

“You … you think that I would do any of the shit my mama did?”

“Apples don’t be fallin too far from the tree, ma.You say you love em so love em enough to save him from your bitter, destructive ass genes.”

Not waiting to hear her response, he walked off towards the ring with the gym bag in tow. Feeling herself about to cry Moriah rushed away ready to leave, when she walked out of the front doors she ran face first into Bronco, almost knocking him down.

“Damn where the fire at, sis?” He joked, helping her find her balance. When she lifted her head his smile dropped. “The fuck you cryin’ for, sis? What Zay do? I’ll beat his ass for you, friend or not.” She shook her head frantically at his words. “No don’t beat his ass or no it wasn’t him?”

“It wasn’t him,” she croaked. 

“Then what’s goin on? What is it?”

She broke down right as she opened her mouth to explain it to him. He wrapped her in a comforting hug, rocking her gently. “Tell me whats up? Big bruh can’t fix what you won’t tell me.”

“Its his cousin. He hates me.” She cried.

Bronco pulled back from the hug so he could see her face. “You talkin about Josh? Zay just told you that?”

Again she shook her head. “No, Josh just told me. I came to bring Zay’s bag and he basically told me I’m just like my mom and to save Zay some hurt and leave him. I’m not like her, I’ve never acted like her. I don’t know why he thinks that.”

Bronco used his shirt to wipe her face then hugged her again. “Listen, don’t worry about his ass. You put him in the category with ya mom of people who don’t exist to you. That whole family love you, ya pops love you, me and T old ass love you,” he chuckled along with her, “And most importantly Zay love you. Aight? If he don’t, fuck em. You hear me?”

“I hear you,” she answered softly. “Thank you, B.”

“Ain’t nothin,” he shrugged, smiling down at her, “That’s what big bruhs do but if you really, really wanna thank me you can make some dinner before you go to work tonight. Ima be over there with Javi and you know his ass can’t cook for shit.”

She laughed, punching him in the arm. “He tries but okay, I’ll make dinner. Thank you again and please don’t tell Zay.”

“Oh I ain’t. He’ll take that man head off about you in here. But just know he gon catch that man at some point and I hope I’m there to help.”

Parting ways, they hugged and he kissed her head once more before she left. She headed for Target instead of going home to get what she needed to put together an easy dinner for the boys while Bronco went inside, headed for the practice rings. He stood shoulder to shoulder with Josh, not saying a word to him. He knew the older man could feel the animosity rolling off him and that’s exactly what he wanted.

“What’s up, Uce?” Josh greeted respectfully.

Bronco shrugged. “Nada.”

Getting the hint Josh went back to silently watching the squabble until it was done. When Zila approached them Josh offered his bag to him almost as a peace offering then moved in to hug him which the younger cousin accepted. 

“Fat still here?” He asked, slapping hands with Bronco.

“Nah. She gave me the bag and left.”

Bronco stared at his audacity. He was really about to sit here and lie but he remained quiet after his promises to Moriah.

“She ain’t say shit? You ain’t say shit to her, did you?” Zilla questioned as he unblocked his phone and went through his messages.

Josh shook his head. “Just that she wanted to talk to you since yall been missing each other cause of yall schedules and then something about being tired.”

Zilla nodded even though he was skeptical. “You straight, B? You look like somebody pissed you off?”

“I’m straight, man. People just got a lot of audacity these days. I ran into sis on her way out,” he offered up staring at Josh. “She must really miss you man. She was damn near in tears.”

“Damn, prolly do.” He agreed, missing the stare down. “Me and her ain’t actually seen each other and had a conversation since Tuesday night. Thank God she only got two more days overnight.”

“Right, I just had to remind her that you love her and ain’t shit gon change about that. Not working overnight or nothing else.”

“I appreciate tha–bruh what the fuck is this?” he exclaimed loudly trying to cut the loud video playing from his phone off. His outburst broke Bronco and Josh’s stare. “This shit, man.” They moved to stand on either side of him so they could see his phone. “What the fuck is wrong with her?”

Bronco sucked his teeth. “I know that ain’t who I think it is.”

“Yeah its her ass.”

“Her who?” Josh asked, unable to tell from what he could see of the video.

Zilla sucked his teeth. “You bet not say shit about it to nobody or ima beat yo ass, mane. I’m serious.”

“I ain’t, uce. Who is it?”

“Its Gia delusional ass.”

“How you know it’s her? All you can see is titties and her pussy. Her face ain’t in it.” Josh asked, genuinely confused. Zilla exited the video then went to the messages she sent along with it, Josh read them aloud. “Missing you so much. Wish you were here. This is what you do to me. The hell?”

“And then her ass gon say it was a accident,” Bronco scoffed reading further down. “That shit wasn’t no fucking accident. You gotta tell, sis.”

“Man, don’t tell her shit.” Josh countered earning a stare from Bronco. “Look, if you tell her that it’s only gonna cause more problems. She gonna wanna know how the girl got your number, why she feel comfortable sending that shit, and a bunch of other shit. You wanna keep her ass so damn bad for whatever reason so just delete that shit and act like you never saw it.”

“Aye what you mean for whatever reason, bruh? They in love, that’s why he wanna keep my sis around,” Bronco barked.

“Whether I agree with the shit or not, he know I’m right. Delete that shit or you gon see Nadine ass come outta her quick as hell.”

Zilla pushed his cousin off reflex. He had been being cordial for the simple fact that he was at work and they were family. “Say, bruh. I already told you bout that shit. Watch your mouth about her.”

“Okay and I’m tryna help yo ass, uce, regardless of how I feel about the shit. I’m not tryna steer you wrong,” Josh reiterated, pushing his little cousin’s hands off of him. “Delete that shit and move on so you and her can stay in lalaland for a little longer.”

Knowing his friend, Bronco quickly stepped between them pushing Zilla back. As much as Bronco wanted to beat Josh’s ass, he knew better than to do it at work and with so many witnesses. 

“Look, don’t listen to him. Tell Rye the truth then we’ll go from there. Even if we gotta get Toni to keep her from beat that delusional bitch ass.”

Josh threw his hands up. “Who you gon listen to him or your big uce? I’m telling you delete that shit and keep it movin.”

Booker calling out for all three of them for something unrelated breaks up the back and forth. They act like everything is okay to get through their very long day of practice. 

While Dewayne slept, Nadine snuck out of the bedroom to the bathroom to call Thomas. She weighed her options with Dewayne’s help and decided she would give everything a rest. It was starting to drain her anyway.

“I’m glad you called, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Uhn uhn, whatever it is can wait,” she whispered.

“No, I promise it’s important, Ms. Nadine. I promise.” He pleaded.

She shushed him, waiting until he was completely quiet to talk. “I’m gonna take a step back from everything and think about things. I sincerely appreciate you for helping me out with this. And I know what you’re thinking I’m not giving up, just taking a well needed break,” she explained softly. “You take a break too. You focus on finishing the rest of your last year. Okay?”

“But I think you should hear this.”

“I don’t, Thomas, It’s okay, I'm not upset, just in need of a break. I’ll talk to you later.” She ended their call ignoring him calling her name. Pausing things felt almost right to her, made her feel a little better about things. Now all she needed to do was get things in order and make a trip or two to the east coast.

Thomas stood frozen in the middle of the aisle in Target, staring at his phone. He knew he fucked up and when Nadine found out about it she was going to hurt him. A cart hitting his brought him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry,” the person haphazardly threw out. Her voice startled him but he smiled nonetheless.

“It’s alright, Moriah. Its actually good I ran into you.’

She turned to glare at him. “If I would have known it was you I wouldn’t have bothered to apologize. Leave me alone.”

“Don’t be like that. I just need a few seconds,” he called out following her to the next aisle. “Please, Moriah.”

“First, I told you to only talk to me at work if you had to. Second, I told you to call me Nurse DeBreaux. Third, I know Zay and Bronco made it very clear that you are to stay your ass far away from me,” she spat not in the mood. With her emotions till all over the place from her interaction with Josh, she didn't need this shit with Thomas to add onto it.

He abandoned his cart, going to stand in front of hers. “Listen, it’s serious. It's about the little girl who had hernia surgery. Both of our careers could be in jeopardy.”

“What?” She snapped. “Spit it the hell out.”

“I think she developed an infection from something we did.”

She laughed like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard in her life, tears ran down her face.

“What’s … what’s so funny?”

“You!” She laughed. “Don’t you dare try to put me in anything that you did, Thomas. I did everything just how Dr. Harris asked me to. You were the one doing things when he turned away.”

“I did not,” he argued.

She glared at him. “You hear what I said. And if you try to bring me into this, whatever Zay promised to do to you is gonna seem like a walk in the fucking park when I’m through with you. Now, move!”

Moriah pushed her cart past him lightly grazing his toes when he moved. She was regretting ever getting back out of bed to take Zilla his bag because then her head wouldn’t be pounding, her feelings wouldn’t be hurt and she would be resting like she wanted. Her mind wondered if it was all really with the trouble, she knew it was though she was just in her feelings. One thing she was sure of was that her and Zilla needed to have two conversations. One about Thomas and the other about their relationship and keeping his cousin out of it.

[novemberhush]

Tag 9 people to get to know better or catch up with

Thanks for tagging me, @littleblackraincloudofcourse !❤️

Three ships you like - Just off the top of my head, Buddie (Buck x Eddie from 9-1-1), Marvey (Mike x Harvey from Suits) and Chenford (Lucy Chen x Tim Bradford from The Rookie). I have so many more, lol.

First ship ever - These are all from roughly the same time, and I was only a kid at the time, so I’m not sure which came first, but I’d say Maddie Hayes x David Addison from Moonlighting, Jim Dempsey x Harriet ‘Harry’ Makepeace from Dempsey & Makepeace, and Anne Shirley x Gilbert Blythe from the 1985 made-for-television adaptation of Anne of Green Gables and its 1987 sequel. In my teenage years, I seriously shipped Benton Fraser x Ray Vecchio from Due South.

Last song you heard - I stopped at the Tesco Express on my way home from work earlier to see if they had anything I fancied for dinner (spoiler alert - they didn’t) and You Can Get It If You Really Want came on over the sound system, much to the seeming delight of everyone in the store because we all started humming, whistling and, in the case of one customer, even singing along. Oh, and it was the Jimmy Cliff version, not the Desmond Dekker one, or at least it sounded like it.

Favourite childhood book - Ooh, that’s a difficult one! I devoured books as a child (a habit I’ve been getting back into this year and last) and I don’t know if I could pick just one.

Currently reading - The Binding Room by Nadine Matheson (the sequel to The Jigsaw Man, which I just finished earlier this week), and I’m also making my way through a book of short stories called That Was A Shiver, and Other Stories by James Kelman.

Currently watching - I finally got around to watching the last half of the last season of The Blacklist this week, watching the very last episode just last night. I’m also watching reruns of The Closer and the original The Twilight Zone, as well the current seasons of Death in Paradise, Murdoch Mysteries, N.C.I.S. and Law & Order. I’m also watching Tatort Saarbrücken, but I’m trying to make the episodes last because there’s only five of them and the next one doesn’t air until January! I have a whole stack of other stuff I still have to get around to as well, but there’s only so many hours in the day.

Currently consuming - A tin of Pepsi Max.

Currently craving - Ice cream, even though it’s really cold here at the moment.

I tag @imwritesometimes @slow-burn-sally @firemedicdiaz @tulipfromtheinternet @fireladybuckley @smowkie @all-or-nothing-baby @mistmarauder @katries and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure on anyone who doesn’t!😘

[cheesecherrykay]

Some musings on Shams.

I don't condone her video. She recorded and used shots of people without their consent, and she also made some demeaning comments about them, especially about Farah who would "do anything to be popular and make friends", essentially deliberately humiliating her in front of the whole school when she already struggles in her social life and confidence.

But at the same time, I get her point. Shams is an outsider, possibly by choice, although we don't know because we didn't see much of her backstory. I think I know what she was onto, because I know what it's like to be her, insanely curious about the world that excludes you; the world which is all around you, into which you are expected to fit in but no one taught you how. You see people and wonder how they do it, how did they know how to do it? Who taught them? Often, observing others acutely and finding ways to look down on them is a coping mechanism for those struggling with loneliness and FOMO. Its a way of convincing yourself that you're better off because at least you don't have the problems that come with that kind of life, even though you do still have other problems of your own. Her execution was poor, her methods unethical and her intentions may have been subconsciously selfish, but Shams' message accurately portrayed that it often looks like there's only one image you must live up to in order to deserve being happy, to be of any worth. That image is made of beauty standards, social circles, hobbies and lately social media followings. In chasing that image, young people risk losing themselves.

The other girls in the series like to dress up and do makeup, they all are active on social media and like to follow trends on TikTok, they admire the same idols like Karen Wazen, and they seek to be in the same places as the popular kids, like the parties and the bowling alleys. We don't see Shams using social media at all, or doing any of the above-mentioned, but we do see her having fun: when she takes Nadine to the skateboarding park, she's most in her element then. We see that she has friends here, and a hobby she enjoys, and we see her genuinely smile. It looks like this isn't the most socially accepted activity, because none of the popular kids are doing it, but that's alright, because you don't have to do what the crowd tells you is fun, and you don't have to stop doing what the crowd tells you is not fun.

Loving your individuality can be a challenge, especially at that crucial high school age. My take on Shams is that she finds it hard to fit in and become "normal" as opposed to the "loner weirdo", and thinking that she could never gain proper acceptance from the world that surrounds her, she antagonised it, and used that to boost her own ego and her self esteem as much as possible. She is another side of Farah- both girls who feel unseen and are made to feel unimportant when they simply be as they are. Farah kept trying to fit in, hoping it would be possible for her to do so without having to change too much of who she was, and these efforts were brutally shot down by Hiba in the last episode. By the time we meet Shams she had already given up, and had alienated herself from society and made the very fact that she doesn't fit in her whole identity. Shams really wasn't trying to make friends- she would not have made that video otherwise- although she admits to not having friends who weren't chasing her brother and we can sense sadness in that. I think it's possible she wanted to be seen at last, and seen as someone who is actually above the rest.

[nayvwriter]

Wardens and Design Similarities

So I've been thinking about the wardens.

(nexomon spoilers, also vague n2 spoilers)

Has anyone noticed that most of the wardens bear similarities to their prisoners? They're all the same type, to begin with, but there's appearance similarities too.

Ogoon and Fona, four-legged with a point on the back of the head and a tail of fire. Darine and Arqua, blue, crescent-shaped with a pointy head, two wings, and a tail. Hexia and Ventra, teal, bipedal with two legs two arms and two wings (in the same places). It can't be a coincidence that they all have the same body shape within their pair.

Titan has the same general body shape as Grunda apart from the fact that Titan is floating. And the patterns of yellow and brown are similar – the yellow stone on Titan's middle resembles Grunda's yellow belly.

Krowr's only similarity to Luxa is the yellow around the eyes. Why so different? And Tikala doesn't seem to bear likeness to anyone.

Ziegler himself could be read as having similarities to Omnicron or even Metta… but could just as easily be read as having similarities to Luhava. And by that I mean if I had to pick a Legendary Nexomon that Ziegler was most similar to in shape I'd pick Luhava. (I was about to say 'ghost does beat wind' but Ziegler's not even ghost-type in n2.)

Nexomon does like its appearance similarities. In n2, for example, Solus is very similar to Nara (n2 Nara especially), and Omnisun was clearly made to resemble Omnicron. Different colours, same shape.

So it's the outliers (hi Krowr) that confuse me.

The appearance similarities made me wonder if the wardens also had behaviour similar to their prisoners.

Nadine is specifically stated to be cruel and shown to respond to problems with violence, and her warden Hexia drains her energy when she gets to be the slightest problem. Darine is psychic-type in n2 and iirc is better at maintaining the nightmare than most of the others in n1, and her prisoner Merida is good at putting on a façade.

Titan I think shows some similarities to Grunda, but you have to look to n2 to see any of the traits in Grunda. Wanting the place he's built to run smoothly and possibly a fondness for children? "I can't let anyone disturb the peace in this Nightmare, not even children."

Not sure on Ogoon. He might share Fenrir's liking of testing others' strength.

And then there's Krowr, who... I don't really get? I copied down all of the wardens' lines for... Reasons... and Krowr barely has any and none of them tell me much.

(And if we assume Tikala was Nara's warden somehow, then we can point out that he got attached to humanity just like she did.)

I have several theories about what all this means. Maybe the Wardens were created as sort of mirrors of their prisoners (doesn't really explain Krowr but this is my pet theory), or perhaps they just find it easier to present a form similar to what they know (though that would assume the personality thing is just a coincidence).

In conclusion this is absolutely not a coincidence thank you for reading and please contact me if you can explain Krowr.